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synamartia · 14 days ago
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“ 2 a.m. . . . „
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“ I got somethin' you can wrap your lips around . . . „
synopsis ┊ ◜ When you discovered the many infidelities of your boyfriend, you unabashedly sought comfort and solace in the arms of your ex-husband, Adam. After sharing one too many drinks with him over the course of a couple hours, your impulse control disintegrates as you find yourself metaphorically crawling back into his bed - something the both of you vowed would never happen again after last time, or the time before that . . . ◞ wc ┊ ◜ 6,346 ◞ warnings ┊ ◜ Adam x Reader ✧ Afab!Reader ✧ No pronouns or Y/N used �� Explicit / 18+ Only / MDNI ✧ ExHusband!Adam ✧ Sexual situations ✧ Cursing / Dirty talk ✧ Blow job ✧ Facial ✧ Reverse cowgirl ✧ Vaginal fingering ✧ Sex tape ✧ Rebound sex ✧ Dubcon / Drunken sex (level of inebriation left open for individual interpretation) ✧ Orgasm denial ✧ Unprotected sex ✧ Creampie ◞ notes ┊ ◜ I swore I wasn't going to be late with this one. I had it done on time, but then the formatting took WAY longer than expected, so now... here we are. I am so very sorry! For context purposes, know that I headcanon the color and luminosity of an angel's halo is a physical representation of their mood. Heaven-born angels and Winners that have been around for a while (like Adam and Lute) have learned how to control the way their halos look, but sometimes it slips. Special shout out to Hazel for letting me use the name Kenneth Brady from her WONDERFUL series: A Doe In Fall (characters are not the same). If you haven't yet, go read it! You will NOT be disappointed, I promise! And be sure to swing by our masterlist linked down below for some juicier fics by my beautiful wives! They'll have you sweating like a sinner in church~! ◞ links ┊ ◜ syn's masterlist ✧ coven kinktober 2024 ◞
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1:54 A.M.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"What the... who the fuck is banging on my goddamn door...?" Adam grumbled as he yanked his bedroom door open, his hair sticking up in every direction, wings ruffled and frayed. It was two in the fucking morning, he had to be up at eight for a meeting with the High Seraphim, and someone was beating on his front door like a Karen hitting the counter, demanding to speak to a manager. "This shit better be fucking good."
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Quit fucking beating on my door, asshole! I'm coming!" Adam shouted as he shuffled toward the front door, scratching at his bare belly as a loud yawn escaped seconds later. He would have just ignored the incessant pounding and opted to roll over instead, but when his unwarranted visitor had gone around to knock on his bedroom window several times, he angrily climbed out of the comforting warmth of his bed to find out who it was and what the hell they could possibly want so late at night.
Whoever was on the other side of that door better have a good fucking reason for waking him up, or he'd make a call to Lute. Adam was usually pissy when he first woke up in the morning, but Lute was just downright scary. There were horror stories passed around the Exorcist barracks of those unfortunate enough to wake her up either as a prank or a hazing ritual for the newer recruits, and as tired as he was, he was fully prepared to deal with the consequences of waking her up later on in the day if it meant he could go back to sleep at that very moment.
Shit, he might do it anyway, regardless of the validity of their reason.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"I swear to fucking god, you hit my door one more goddamn time..." he hastily unlocked the deadbolt and yanked the door open, ready to give the person a piece of his mind. "Listen, twatwaffle, do you have any fucking idea what time-?" Adam started, only to cut himself off when he saw that it was you leaning against the frame of his door with your hair done up, clad in a low-cut black dress and your matching strappy heels hanging from your well-manicured fingers. "Hey," you said softly, raising a hand to wave at him as he eyed your drooping wings and how they seemed to wrap around your lower half as a shield from the harsh bite of the cold air.
"Hey," he mocks your greeting with a sneer, stepping to the side to let you in. "You have any fucking idea what time it is?" Adam finished his earlier question, taking note of the dim light your halo was producing, its color a stormy gray - completely unlike its usual rose gold sheen. He'd only ever seen your halo that color twice in the many decades he'd known you - once after losing a bet to him over something he couldn't remember anymore, and again during the divorce proceedings.
Your split was amicable, but it still hurt you both all the same when you saw it in writing - you when you had to write your maiden name for the first time after it was final, and him when he had to mark "single" on any official documentation or when someone asked why he had three divorces under his belt. Though you both had decided that your marriage was over, you had remained good friends after the fact, and on occasion when you would hit a wall in your endeavors to find a new spouse, you would wind up here.
Something about the familiarity of it all was just... comforting.
"The fuck do you want?" Adam asked after closing the door and pushing past you, making his way over to the sofa and plopping down with a loud thud!
"Nothing, I just... wanted to see what you were doing," you said, avoiding his stare as you looked around the minimalist setup of his living room. When you finally met his gaze, you smiled sheepishly at the annoyance painted across it.
"Sleeping."
"Oh, well... what were you dreaming about?"
"Cut the bullshit. I know you're not here on a social call. What the fuck do you want?" Adam asked again, rubbing a large hand across his face as he tried to fight off sleep long enough to hear what you had to complain about this time.
Biting into your bottom lip, you nervously fidgeted with the straps of your heels before letting out an exasperated sigh and dropping onto the chaise. "We broke up. Kenneth and me."
"... Who?"
"Kenneth Brady. Remember? He's head of security down at the gates with Peter?" you asked as you looked back at him, taking note of his bare chest and the dingy pair of sweats he always wore to bed. Some things never changed, which you were glad for. The familiarity is what you were looking for right now, anyway.
"Oh! Bitchass Brady!" Adam exclaimed upon his realization as he stood up, narrowly dodging the spike of your heel when you threw your shoe at him. "Don't call him that," he heard you grumble as he stretched his muscles, hands reaching up to the ceiling and golden wings spreading out wide behind him before he tucked them beneath his arms once more.
"Why the fuck do you care what I call him? The dude's a fucking loser anyway, only god into Heaven because he was some kinda cop or whatever before he died," he rambled on as he made his way to the kitchen, earning a deep groan from you as you put your head in your hands. You could hear him shuffling around and opening up cabinets, and then the clinking of glass followed by him slamming the door shut once again.
Looking up when Adam finally returned to the living room, you saw that he was carrying two shot glasses and half a bottle of whiskey. "What're you doing?" you inquired when he set the glasses down on the coffee table and twisted the cap off the bottle, quickly pouring out two shots and downing them both before pouring two more.
"Drinking. What's it look like?" Adam snapped back at you as he picked up both glasses and offered one to you, not bothering to wait for you to take it before he threw back his third shot. Rolling your eyes at his response, you took the shot from his fingers and lifted it to your nose, inhaling the musky scent of the alcohol that spilled over the rim. "No shit. I mean why?"
"Bitch, you knock on my door at 2 AM knowing I'm trying to sleep just to complain about some tightass that thinks he's hot shit for guarding the gates of Heaven. We're fucking drinking."
That was all the convincing you needed to slam back the shot of whiskey, grimacing at the burning feeling in your chest as it went down.
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3:07 A.M.
"... and then he just fucking stood there while she shoved her tongue down his throat! Didn't try to push her away or... or nothin'," you rambled on as you slunk down to the floor, leaning against the hard frame of the couch and holding your glass out to Adam for a refill. Without hesitation, he reached out and poured you another shot, misjudging the size of the glass and accidentally spilling it on your dress.
"Shit, sorry," he quickly apologized through his incessant giggling, his cheeks tinted a rosy pink as the alcohol had begun to take effect. He'd always been a happy drunk, and a flirty one too, which was why part of you suspected he had done it on purpose - to get you out of that dress. But you didn't think anymore about it, waving your hand in the air to dismiss his apology and drank the shot, slamming it down on the coffee table immediately after.
"I don't even know what the fuck I saw in a guy like that..." you mumbled, closing your eyes in an effort to stop the room from spinning around you. "Couldn't even fucking make me cum..."
Adam was still giggling as he poured out another shot, having made several snide remarks about your taste in men over the course of an hour. But when he heard you say that, he immediately stopped as he eyed you from across the table. "Wait- ... seriously?"
"Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, he tried. Oh, he fucking tried. But just..." you started, rolling your head and opening your eyes to look back at him, unsure if the light pink dusting across your cheeks was from the whiskey or from your sudden embarrassment at the current topic. "... He wasn't you."
Adam grinned widely at that, wiggling his brows at you as you noticed his halo shift from its standard bright white gold to a pale pink. "Yeah? So what you're saying is, only the Dickmaster can make you cream?" he asked cheekily, falling over onto his side in his efforts to dodge your other shoe when you threw it at him.
"Shut the fuck up, dipshit. I'm not saying that..." you moaned, closing your eyes as your head lolled back again while you tried to stifle your own laughter. God, you missed this. It had been too long since you and Adam had been together like this, just drinking and talking and having a good time - even if it was just you complaining about an ex boyfriend cheating on you.
You could hear Adam shuffling around, but with the way the room was spinning, you decided to keep your eyes shut. You weren't even that drunk, having only done six shots compared to his ten, but that combined with the overall exhaustion of the day's events leading up to you knocking on your ex husband's door at two in the morning was really taking its toll on you. Back when you and Adam were still married, you remembered drinking twice the amount you did now without catching a buzz - your tolerance having skyrocketed when you died and your previously red blood ran gold.
"You sure 'bout that, babe?" Adam asked, suddenly too close to your ear and making you fall over on your side just like he did. "Goddamnit Adam! How many times do I have to tell you not to fucking do that shit?!" you shouted as you glared at him, rolling over until you were laying on your back on the ground. Soon you were laughing along with him at the jumpscare when you realized how silly you must have looked. "Sorry, sorry," he apologized through his giggling, staring down at you from his spot on the edge of the couch.
Adam eyed the black dress you were wearing, specifically the deep v-neck that plunged well below your bust line, and the slit up the side that stopped mid-thigh. It had a halter strap, so your back was left completely bare, which told him one thing and one thing only: no bra. It was a revealing dress, one that accentuated your curves well and had him thinking back on all the times he had you bent over his work desk or pressed up against the shower wall - not that he was complaining, he just couldn't figure out what could have called for such attire in his drunken haze. "Where'd he even take you, lookin' like that?" the words tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
"Oh, this..." you mumbled, looking down at the black dress in question before slamming your head back on the floor just a little too hard, grimacing at the pain that followed. "We went to Avery's wedding, and I was a bridesmaid," you told him, not bothering to explain who Avery was. "And so was the chick he was fucking behind my back, the one he tried to say was out of her mind," you rambled on, not noticing the way Adam's grin widened and his eyes narrowed when you carelessly spread your legs apart in the middle of a stretch.
You could feel sleep trying to set in, but the way the tight dress had been twisted around your body was making it difficult for you to get comfortable enough to close your eyes for longer than a minute. "And you know what? Maybe she was fucking crazy. She kept going on about how she blew him under the table at the last wedding they went to during her maid of honor speech. Said she wasn't the only one, either..." Adam heard you speak as he leaned over, trying to get a peek up your dress as you waved your hands in the air during your rant.
When you sat up suddenly, he straightened out and curled his lips inward over his teeth, trying to seem as innocent as possible as you stared at him suspiciously. You watched him for a moment, but didn't think too much about it as you reached across the table for the bottle of whiskey.
"I'm just over it. So fucking over it," you grumbled. Adam hummed in response, your words flying right over his head as he leaned to the side to get a better view of your ass, biting his lip when he saw the arch of your lower back. Glancing over your shoulder at him, you shook the near empty bottle of whiskey to get his attention. "Got anymore? We're just about done with this one," you told him, not bothering with the shot glass as you upended the bottle in your efforts to chug what was left.
Fuck, you had to be doing this on purpose, he thought as he felt his cock twitch to life beneath the thin fabric of his sweats. He let his eyes drift from your backside up the length of your bare back, to the messy updo that was barely being held in place by an elegant claw clip, and further up to the pale pink ring floating above your head that matched his own.
'Well, if that's how this is gonna go...' Adam continued to ogle your backside, not even bothering to hide it anymore as you leaned back on your haunches and reached back to remove the claw clip, shaking your hair out with a sigh of relief.
"Nah, but I got somethin' else you could wrap your lips around," he spoke as he scooted further back onto the couch.
Scoffing lightly at the lame pick-up line, you rolled your eyes as you stared at the empty bottle with disappointment. "Where'd you learn that one? 7th grade?" you asked cheekily as you turned to look back at him, only to have your face flush a bright pink when you noticed the state he was in.
Adam sat there before you, his legs spread wide while he palmed his above-average erection through his sweats, a dark spot forming where his tip was leaking precum against the dingy fabric. You could feel your heart leap into your throat, excited by the idea of being with him again but still nervous - just like you always were right before sex, even during your marriage. You hadn't come here with the intentions of sleeping with him - you never did. But somehow, you knew that was how the night was going to end the moment you knocked on his door.
"No, I learned it in 9th grade. But it's still got you wet, doesn't it?" Adam teased you with a wide, shit-eating grin on his face, eyeing the way you began to rub your thighs together.
"S-shut up, asshole," you mumbled, not even bothering to argue with him as you crawled over to him, situationg yourself between his legs and rubbing your hands along his thighs.
"Make me, bitch."
Rolling your eyes at his derogatory remark, you swatted his hand away and slipped your fingers beneath the elastic waistband, signaling for him to lift himself up so you could pull them down properly. Adam smirked down at you when his cock sprung free, slapping against his stomach as he stretched his arms and wings out across the back of the couch, relishing in the way you licked your lips at the sight of him.
You didn't waste any time, immediately wrapping a hand around his substantial length and giving him a few solid pumps, your thumb brushing over his leaking slit and spreading his precum around to use as a lubricant. "So what was his deal exactly?" Adam asked, groaning softly at your touch as you glanced up with a confused look in your eye, waiting for him to elaborate.
"Did he just not know how to touch you? Needle dick? ... Did he bust too fast?"
You stopped all movement as you deadpanned. "Do you really wanna talk about some other guy's dick all night or do you want me to suck yours?"
Raising his hands in a motion of surrender, Adam let the subject go as you began to stroke his cock again, choosing instead to focus on your slow ministrations and holding back the urge to buck up into your hand. He'd never been the slow and gentle type, always going at it hard right out the gate, only recalling a handful of times where he actually made love to you instead of straight up fucking. Whenever he was alone and deep in his cups, sometimes he would wonder if that was why your marriage ended the way it did.
And maybe it was on the list - where, Adam didn't know - but he wasn't about to stop and ask. That was a whole nother can of worms, and it could wait until after he was done reminding you why he was the only one that could make every atom in your angelic body vibrate with salacious reverence.
"Fine, fine. But don't think you're off the hook-!" he hissed when you cut him off by wrapping your lips around his reddened tip and sucking gently.
Ever the tease, you were, and he had a very serious love-hate relationship with that aspect of your personality.
"Fuck..." Adam rasped, his head lolling back as you moaned around his head. The vibrations made his cock twitch as he raised his hips slightly in an attempt to get you to take more of him into your hot, slick mouth. For someone that was the progenitor of all humans, you'd think he would have learning som epatience over the countless millennia since his creation, but nope. Not this guy.
You loved it all the same, finding his impatience and neediness for your body extremely sexy.
With another hum, you opened your mouth wider to take more of him in, only getting about half of his raging hard-on in before his tip was bumping the back of your throat. You wrapped one hand around his remaining length - pumping and twisting in time with your bobs, smearking your saliva and his pre all along his aching prick for a smoother glide.
You've only just begun to touch him, and yet he was already on the brink - his painfully hard cock twitching in your mouth and the defined abdominal muscles hiding behind a layer of fat flexing each time you went back down. "Yeah, that's it, baby, suck my dick..." he groaned as he gathered your hair into a ponytail, his grip firm, pressuring you to move faster.
Smirking at the breathless sounds that he was producing, you did as he wordlessly obliged. You traced the vein on the underside of his cock with the tip of your tongue, curling it around what you were able to swallow shortly after and rubbing it back and forth as you bobbed your head, gaining momentum with each second that ticked by.
"Y'know, I've never had someone that- nngh! -goes down on me as good as you do," Adam admitted as he began to roll his hips, gagging you in the process. Humming in response, you stared up at him from your spot between his legs, your arousal pooling in the gusset of your panties as you continued to suck and slurp, soon hollowing your cheeks out. "Or anyone that can make me cum as fast as you do."
Cupping his heavy balls with your free hand, you began to roll his testes between your slender digits, massaging his scrotum gently. It never took long before Adam was reduced to a whimpering mess when you blew him, submissive and desperate for the pleasure your moist cavern promised him. Pulling back until only his tip remained in your mouth, you pressed back against his hand when he tried to force your head back down or push his hips up, the tip of your tongue running along his slit several times.
"Aah- ahmmm," you tried to say his name before you gave in and let him push you further down on his length than before. Adam sharply sucked in air through gritted teeth, his wings fluttering each time you moaned around him.
"F-fuck, I'm close," he warned you just before his thick vein began to pulse beneath your tongue, raising his head once again to look down at you. "Shit!" with a shout, Adam was pulling your head back by your hair until your mouth released him with a loud pop, replacing your lips with his hand and fisting his cock at a speed much greater than the one you had been moving at.
"G-god-!" A deep groan rumbled through his hairy chest, muscles clenching and hips matching the vigorous stroking of his hand.
With one final pump, Adam was spilling his hot seed across your face, coating your lips with each spurt in ropes of the milky white substance. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" A string of curses and moans of your name poured from his mouth, squeezing the tip and coaxing every last drop from his balls, the viscous fluid dripping down your chin onto your tits and the dress he had been so curious about only minutes ago.
When he finally loosened the grip he had on your hair, you moved to take him in again, sucking harshly to clean him off and coat your tongue in his salty spend. Head falling back against the couch frame, Adam panted heavily as he basked in the afterglow of his climax, his whole body and wings twitching from the overstimulation of you cleaning him up.
Once you were satisfied with the job you had done, you pulled away and rose up until you were sitting straight up on your knees, reaching to undo the clasp of your halter strap. Adam eventually raised his head again, running a single hand through the damp wetness of his chestnut strands. He groaned audibly when he saw your face still covered in his seed and the few drops that had landed on your dress, reaching to pull you up until you were straddling his waist.
"Shit baby, I'm sorry, it got on your dress," Adam apologized, though there was no substance behind it - he quite liked the way it made you look, reminding him of the first time you let him cum on your face and chest.
"It's okay," you reassured him, voice raspy as he reached up to swipe away the few beads on your cheek and brow. "I like it better like this anyway," you said just before taking his fingers into your mouth and sucking them clean.
"Jesus fucking Christ..."
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4:36 A.M.
"H-holy shit- ... missed this pretty pussy so fucking much- ... fuuuuck!"
Thrusting up into your quivering hole, Adam breathes heavily into the crook of your neck, his teeth carelessly nipping at the tender flesh as he draws slow, firm circles on your clit. "Goddamn! S-still so fucking tight!" he murmured, his free hand wrapped around the back of your thigh and holding it up as you pressed your back against his broad chest. You'd always been so damn tight whenever he would first pierce you - almost as if he were taking your virginity, your walls easily molding to the shape of his cock like they were made just for him.
"A-Adam- hahhh! I-I can't- ... 'ts too much-!"
"H-hahah- guess I'm not- nngh! -doing it right- hngh! -if you can still talk- oh fuck, yes!" he muttered, slouched against the cushions with his feet planted firmly on the cold marbled floor - allowing him the perfect amount of leverage to pound into you, the head of his cock nudging your cervix with every buck of his hips. "Gonna fuck those words right outta your pretty little head," Adam babbled on, delivering several light slaps to your clit, the resulting jolts of pain accenting the intense pleasure running through your veins beautifully.
Adam grasped for one of your hands, guiding it to your overstimulated clit and urging you to rub it with the same vigor he did. "So, he couldn't get you off, huh? Not once?" he inquired, gripping the back of your other thigh, forcing both your legs up higher and spreading them further apart. "That's why you're here, isn't it? Needed a real man to give you what that boy couldn't?" Unable to make sense of hte words coming out of his mouth, you were too fucked out to think beyond the delicious stretch of his cock spearing your insides - the sound of skin slapping every time his hips met your ass drowning out everything he had been saying.
He could feel the tale-tell flutter of your walls around him and slowed his thrusts down until he was barely moving inside you - edging you for the umpteenth time that night in his desire to drag this out as long as possible. Whining loudly as you tried to wiggle your hips and keep that friction going, Adam slapped your thigh harshly as a warning. "Ah, ah! Don't even think about it, bitch!"
"Adaaaam- fuck, I can't- ... can't take it anymore-!" you cried, tears streaming down your face as you felt your orgasm slipping away again, leaving you aching and desperate and completelyat his mercy. His breathy chuckle echoed in your ears as he pushed your lower half up, holding you tightly and refusing to let you move. "Yes, you can! You're gonna take whatever I give you- ohhh fuck, fuck! Such a good little cocksleeve- hnngh! Always so fucking good, just for me!" Adam praised you as he sunk his teeth into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, a mixture of your sweat and his saliva coating your delicate skin.
With a pathetic whimper, you struggled against the grip he had on your thighs, but your efforts were futile against the strength of his hands. Your nails dug harshly into his forearm, leaving crescent shaped marks on his downy covered skin as your fingers drew incessant circles on your clit, trying to recover that lost orgasm on your own. "Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking cream, Adam, please, please just-!" you whined, squirming in his grasp even more when he reached and pulled your hand away. "No, no, no, please- fuuuck! ... -don't make me stop, p-please Adam, I'm so fucking close!"
"Shh, shh, shh, I know, baby!" Adam whispered in your ear, nibbling on your earlobe as he began to thrust up into you once more, his strokes languid and deliberate. "A-Adaaammm-!" another cry of his name escaped as you panted heavily, his hands moving from your thighs to your hips, allowing you to brace your feet on the frame of the couch. He held you tightly though, preventing you from moving at all as he slid out until only the head of his cock remained in the warm grip of your tight walls.
"Fuuuuckkk-" Adam groaned loudly, fucking his tip into you with stuttering minute thrusts, struggling to hold himself back a few more seconds as the need to bury his cock in you grew by the second. Gradually, he pushed further in, walls so pliant as the engulfed his hard shaft, slowly picking up the pace once he was sure your release had ebbed. He didn't want to stop, he wanted to keep going, like you had been begging him to do each time he would deny you that sweet, sweet release. But he didn't know when he'd get another chance like this, so he was trying to make the most of this one night, just as he did every other night you showed up on his doorstep.
"Marry me," he whispered, voice low and husky as he breathed heavily against your ear. "I want you to come home, baby. Be my wife again."
"A-Adam, let me cum, please just let me cum, I need to-!" you sobbed, your hips jerking against his hands in an attempt to gain some more friction.
"Nuh-uh, not until you say you're gonna come back to me."
"Adam!"
"That's not a yes."
Adam wanted to make you see that he was the only one that could please you, that could give you everything you could ever need or want. He was prepared to do this all night if he had to. He'd bring you to the brink of ecstasy, only to deny you that final push until you realized no other choice could hold a candle to him. He was determined to fuck you so well, you wouldn't be able to even look at another person, let alone spend a single night in their bed. They didn't deserve you. No other man deserved you, only him, and he wasn't going to stop until you saw it too.
Another sob tore through your lips as you threw your head back, biting into your bottom lip until blood began to roll down your chin, mixing with your salty tears and the remnants of his cum as he slowed down once more. He always did this whenever you climbed into his bed, always asked you to come back, to be his wife again as if all the problems that ended your marriage in the first place had disintegrated into dust. And just like every other time, you would tell him exactly what he wanted to hear, both of you knowing full well that they were just words said in the heat of the moment.
"Yes, yes, fine, I'll come back!" you whimpered, squirming even more as you felt his lips stretch into a wide grin at your words. "I'll fucking marry you again Adam, j-just please-!" you begged him, reaching up to grab a fistful of his hair, the sting of your grip drawing a low groan from his throat. Satisfied with your answer, Adam, placed several kisses to your neck and jaw, loosening his grip to allow you room to move. "That's fucking right, you will," he mumbled under his breath, pressing his lips to your temple, breathing in the scent of your shampoo mixed with sweat as that familiar smacking sound of skin on skin filled the room once more.
"Shiiit- just listen to you," Adam grunted as he picked up the pace, reaching for his phone lying on the cushion next to him. "So fucking drunk on my cock now, all you can do is moan like a bitch in heat," he prattled on as he opened the camera, pressing record as he angled it to get a good shot of your cunt.
"Look at that, baby," Adam demanded, grabbing a fistful of your hair and directing your gaze to his screen. "F-fucking look at how I'm splitting you open! Been a while sin- nngh! -ce you were stretched out like this, huh?" Doing what he bid you to do, you stared down at the screen with half-lidded eyes, watching as he impaled you on his prick over, and over, and over again, fucking himself impossibly deeper into you with every thrust until your eyes crossed.
"Goooddd-!" another pathetic cry as you began to bounce, tired of waiting for him to reach that pace that had you seeing stars. Adam didn't seem to mind though, excited by the way you mindlessly chased the release he'd denied you so many times. Grabbing hold of your hip and helping you to slam yourself back down, his length twitched within you as his own end was steadfastly approaching. "Fuck, fuck! Keep going, fucking slut, keep bounching on my fucking cock like that!" he urged you on, struggling to hold the camera steady so he could watch how your greedy cunt swallowed him whole, your essence coating his length and leaving a thick white ring at the base of his cock.
"H-hah, hah, fuck- ... bet ol' needle dick would love to hear what you actually sound like when you cum," Adam spoke through gritted teeth, matching your movements as he frantically bucked up into you at a wild pace, the obscene squelching sound made by each thrust being the only thing you could hear now. "Did you fake it with him? To make him feel like more of a man, like he wasn't the biggest fucking cuck?" he asked you, knowing damn well you were too far gone to process anything he said by the way your hips stuttered in their rapid bouncing.
"More, more, more!"
Reaching down once again, Adam pressed the palm of his hand to your puffy clit, slowing his thrusts long enough to slip two fingers into your dripping core alongside his cock. "How's about we show him the right way to make you squirt, hm?" he asked, his words cutting through the white noise momentarily until he curled his fingers to rub against your spongy g-spot, the pleasure clouding your mind once more. "Oh fuck me, right there-!" you gasped, grinding down against his hand and cock.
"Right here, baby?" Adam breathed against your neck, thrusting his fingers into you at the same pace as his cock, the meat of his large hand slapping against the overstimulated pink nub, the wet smacking sound bouncing off the walls and flooding your senses.
"M-mmhmm, mmhmm! Right fucking there! Harder!"
"Yeah? You want it harder?" he babbled as he continued to rail you, your tits bouncing in tandem with each snap of his hips against your ass, his balls tightening as that coil in the pits of his belly wound up almost to a painful degree. Nodding your head in response, you arched your back as your loud cries of pleasure suddenly fell silent - your vision blurring as wave after wave of blissful ecstasy crashed over you and your essence gushes from your throbbing cunt.
A couple moments of silence go by before you're sucking in air greedily, chest heaving and walls spasming around his thick cock and fingers, grip unrelenting. Adam whispered praises in your ear as he ended the video, tossing the phone aside and grabbing both of your hips after pulling his slick covered digits from your pulsing heat.
"So fucking good, sucking me in-! Fuck!" Adam shouted over and over again as he pounded into you from below, your body going limp against his as he used your quivering hole, the relentless pursuit of his pleasure brutal and unyielding. Snapping his hips at a wild pace, his words were nothing more than white noise to you now, much like the sounds of skin slapping against skin punctuated by his grunts of exertion.
"Take it, take my fucking cock! O-oh, fuck-!"
Adam's hips began to stutter, and with a few more thrusts, he was emptying his balls into you, a mixture of your essences creating a white ring around the base of his cock. He fucked you through his high, deaf to your cries for mercy for a few more seconds before he began to slow down.
Eventually his hips came to a full stop, breathless gasps for air as his muscles relaxed and he loosed the bruising grip he had on your hips. Adam pressed several tender kisses to your skin where he had bitten you, wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you tightly, your wings pressed haphazardly to his skin as you basked in the afterglow.
When he felt a shiver run up your spine, Adam wrapped his golden wings around both your forms to provide you with some warmth, enjoying the silence as sleep began to creep back in for you both.
"... You gotta stop asking me to marry you when we're fucking."
Adam snorted at your remark, rubbing soothing circles to your stomach as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.
"Sure. I'll stop just as soon as you quit showing up on my doorstep at 2 in the morning bitchin' about having to fake an orgasm to protect Bitchass Brady's fragile little ego."
"I told you not to... oh, what the fuck ever. I don't give a shit anymore," you mumbled, rolling your head to press a kiss to his temple and wrapping your hands around his wrist, a content sigh falling from your lips as your heart rate returned to normal. More silence ensued, and when Adam noticed your breathing slow down, he realized that you had fallen asleep, smirking as his ego soared ever higher from just the idea of fucking you so good that you passed out.
"Get some sleep, babe," Adam whispered to you softly, pulling his cock free from your sloppy cunt and twisting until you both were laying on the couch chest to chest. Wrapping one arm around your sleeping figure, he reached for his phone once again and quickly typed in Brady's number in a new message.
With a few more taps to his screen, Adam yawned heavily once he pressed 'send'. Tossing it to the coffee table and wrapping his other arm around you, he soon joined you in the lad of dreams, smiling triumphantly when he thought about Brady watching the video he just took of you.
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7:48 A.M.
DING!
... ... ...
"ADAM!"
"... What? What did I do?"
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story ┊ ◜ synamartia ◞ header ┊ ◜ synamartia ◞ dividers ┊ ◜ kodaswrld ✧ fanguro ◞ summoning ┊ ◜ @hazelfoureyes ✧ @minkdelovely ✧ @sugoi-writes ✧ @fraugwinska ✧ @macabr3-barbi3 ◞
Please do not copy or repost as your own! Thank you!
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cookie-nameless · 1 year ago
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She's a gender non-conforming Queen and maybe a little non-binary
Idk what precisely to call it since honorifics aren't Pronouns but vertin using she/her while routinely being addressed as Lord, sir, etc is soooooooo 🥰 it's like mixed pronouns but not.
#beeep#i love reverse 1999#like shes not a he him lesbian but like yknow !!!#theres not a quick and easy shortcut for it but shes definitely sapphic and im leaning more lesbian hc than bi tbh !!!!#(which btw bi women can also be gnc and use he him in a wlw way)#(i just think vertin lesbian)#(but i KNOW shes sapphic)#AND HOW SHES USUALLY a my lord SPECIFICALLY when addressed by the girl so down bad for her???? gay as fuck#<- this isnt spoilers bc all the women wont her#well okay thats not precisely true. but a great deal of them do#anyway. i just hope that it isnt a translation error bc goes crazy ahhhh#shes a gentleman.....#and also i think vertin needs to meet a guy who isnt evil bc (possibly nb) lesbian and trans guy bestie duo is one of my favorite tropes#but so far she only interacts with evil people and or girls that wont her 😔😔😔#which is so valid but also 😔😔😔 vertin u need platonic friends too. friends that arent desperately hoping you will push them out of danger#and land on top of them and gaze into their eyes#(or just hoping to make out)#(there are both types of wonts her in this game)#(along with a secret third kind)#anyway#rhvjvdjgdjvbjdbkrbkdjb vertin#i have to. be a person. i have to be a person but instead my brain is just full of WOW GAME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway vertin has like. fancy oldtimey gentleman gnc going on#not so gnc by modern standards that it would make Certain People mad but enough that it is making Me very happy#and i just !!!!! cannot get over how genius it is to combine sheher pronouns with traditionally masculine terms of address!!!!!!!#shes so gender. not my gender but she has so much gender#i love vertin and i love regulus and i love druvis and i love the fool and i love tooth fairy who isnt out yet but i saw her in that one vid#eo#i was expecting to play this so casually like stick it on my phone and then i can do it while waiting for class when im there a few minutes#early but i do Not feel casual about this at all!!!!!!!!!!!! <- i think i got hyperfixated lads
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things-about-cars-in-posts · 11 months ago
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might be a bit of a boring question but how do you feel about the Mazda b series? and if you have nothing to say about that one then I'd love to hear your thoughts on the tacoma
So thoughtful of you to give me a backup question, but worry not! If I've got nothing to say about a car, I will find it, goddamnit, if it'll take me two months! Which it very nearly did. Sorry. Anyhow! In reverse order of generations:
1. 5th
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it would take state-backed effort to get me to care for -hell, care about- this last one, which did not excel in looks nor performance nor, from what I can tell, reliability nor comfort. It feels like it would be a very complex thought experiment to come up with the buyer this would be the best choice for, even in its time. (However, while the enthusiasts' metric of evaluation is competition, the owners' metric is their own expectations, so it is certain and valid and good that millions of owners were chuffed about their purchase and I love that for them and do not whatsoever seek to rain on their parade.)
2. 4th
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Neat! Even beyond the spectacular decals, I just love Japanese pickups of this era (the ones yankees call "small pickups" and we call "pickups" because we don't have those useless fuck-off-gargantuan shit yankees love to pretend has any use). So much so that I want two of them. Neither are this (they're the Toyota Hilux and the Nissan D21), but objectively they're all about the same and my preferences are purely based on aesthetic minutiae.
3. 3rd
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First I see of it! The front is kind of unfortunate, but it reminds me of the Yugo so it's on my good side. The rear taillights also have a kind of Soviet quality to them, I'm sure there's some -az car with rear lights just like those.
4. 2nd
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HELL FUCKING YEAH *checks pronouns* SISTER! I love this thing. Especially the REPU, where PU stands for Pick Up and RE stands for...
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Yep :D, this was the time when Mazda was shoving rotaries left and right into applications they were comically unsuited for absolutely no discernible reason, and we're all glad that they did, because Lord knows no one else had the lack of sense to do it.
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Yes the ROTARY POWER* on the back of it is factory! *BITCHES
5. 1st
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Yeah, this is at the edge of car period that excites me. Not that I think it looks bad or is bad or anything, it just starts to feel too... historic for me to connect to? I guess a Mazda pickup from the early '60s is just not for me.
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It seems I guessed wrong.
This Ghibli-esque little thing is the 1959 Mazda K360, being a kei truck with the then maximum of 360cc of engine. It was a popular taxi (taxi!) in Myanmar...
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...where it kept being produced until the early '70s, when it got replaced by the other other truck Mazda was making by the early '60s, the B360.
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Wow I really was wrong there huh.
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These were probably a sort of "Eastern Europe getting Fiat's scraps" kind of deal, since while these were manufactured in Myanmar from '72 to the mid-90s (mid-90s!), by 1972 Japan had already long been getting the B360's replacement i.e. the Mazda Porter, which OOOO0000°°°°°ººººº⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰⁰ my GOOOOOODDDD
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OMGOMGOMG THIS IS THE CUTEST THING IN THE WORLD
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I don't even want to own one of these, I want to cuddle it. I want to protect it.
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OMG THIS ONE HAS TINY LITTLE HAYASHIS WITH TINY LITTLE LETTERING ON ITS TINY LITTLE TIRES
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*faints* *a feeble, wiggly speech bubble appears from below the table* Tacoma's good btw. Best of segment by miles.
Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!
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shwoo · 1 year ago
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Nearly forgot about the new Fionna and Cake episodes, (Destiny and the Winter King) and had to go to bed immediately after watching it, but now I have thoughts! About those two episodes specifically. Very overthinky thoughts in places.
I got tired and took all day writing this, so it might decrease in coherency as it goes on.
-It's nice to see Simon having motivation again. Even if that motivation is to... basically die.
-Simon is such a nerd, with his excitement about the library and his Ship of Theseus joke! I love him. Why did he not actually go into the library, though? :(
-I wrote a fanfic once when a Farmworld character comments on a normal Adventure Time style character's lack of nose, and the character covers it self-consciously! It was... weirdly validating to see the show make the same joke?
-Farmworld Jake is still alive... Did main world Jake not die of old age? I'm sure a normal dog wouldn't have a longer natural lifespan than a magical talking dog who is also half stretchy alien.
-Farmworld Finn's named kids have the same names as Finn's pillow kids in Puhoy! That was a cool callback, even though pillow Bonnie's name made more sense. Did Finn not name her after Princess Bubblegum in the pillow world, or did he also know a Bonnie in Farmworld?
-I thought Jay was a girl for most of the episode, until someone referred to him with masculine pronouns. I like living in this world where I could think that despite his thing for Little Destiny being obvious from the beginning. (I like that gay relationships are more commonly and casually depicted in fiction than they used to be)
-I like Farmworld Finn. He's a good person who's doing his best. I hope he didn't die in the end. It seemed a little ambiguous.
-Simon, you of all people should know not to talk positively about the crown to someone who was cursed by it. Unless he didn't realise Finn ever wore the crown?
-After Simon assumed that Jay's dad was another version of him, I was hoping he'd find out what did happen to him in this universe, but I guess the corpse was a little bit close to the giant nuclear bomb thingy.
-Cake apparently reads AO3, or at least something adjacent enough to know what enemies to lovers is, which is impressive for someone who was a normal housecat like a day ago.
-The next episode has a Gumlee subplot for some reason? Okay! And Gary's not wrong that Fionna flaked out on him. She could've at least tried to explain where she was once Winter King fixed her phone, but she didn't.
-Also I love that Ellis P was randomly at Fionna's apartment too. They only just met.
-I wonder how much of the differences between the Winter King and Simon are intrinsic to this world's Simon, and how much are a result of him using the crown. He's definitely still influenced by the crown, but I'm not sure what his line about Betty is implying. Did he start feeling that way because of this universe's point of divergence, or did the point of divergence happen because he never liked her as much as the main Simon did? He reacted so calmly about her that I don't think he was lying.
-Interesting contrast with Simon being fine in the snow while Fionna and Cake are clearly freezing. That's some superhuman cold tolerance Simon has.
-"How'd you stop being Ice King" "I just tried REALLY HARD and now everything's great!" "Oh, okay,"
-Was it winter in the Fionna and Cake world in the first episode? The world is obviously affected by Simon's mental state in some way, and now it's snowing over there.
-I'm not sure what to think about ice Marceline, but wasn't she older than that when she turned the family axe into some kind of lute? I don't know if this world's Marceline is supposed to be dead or not, but Winter King seems to have depicted her at that age for a reason.
-I thought it was a role reversal world when the Candy Queen showed up, but all her Ice King-like traits were just foreshadowing! Disturbing, disturbing foreshadowing. I thought it was interesting that she did the same leg kick thing while playing the piano that the Winter King did. Or maybe that was a just a callback.
-Simon seemed to legitimately like her song. He's so sweet when he's not marinating in self-hatred.
-No wonder the Candy Queen feels such a sense of kinship with the Winter King that she wants to mash them up in a blender. He's giving her all his negative traits so he doesn't have to deal with them.
-The Lemoncarbs were never going to like Gary's proposal. They're Lemongrabs and he's a Princess Bubblegum, and there's been multiple episodes about how incompatible their interests are.
-Fionna did that weird demagickifying Prismo thing like Cake did with one of the hot dog people in the second episode. Does that only happen when they're feeling happy and accepted, or was the timing coincidence? Also, I think it might have something to do with why Prismo's not supposed to create things, since it uses the same effect as his powers. Their world is probably inherently unstable regardless of whose head it's in, or something dramatic like that.
-I'm glad Fionna's rethinking her self-centred worldview. Maybe she can also realise that her own world isn't as boring as she thinks, because I'm pretty sure that's also a metaphor for Simon's self-hatred. Though would it still be a metaphor if she's not currently in his head?
-So we've had a revisit of Farmworld, where FInn was negatively affected by the crown's curse, and a world where Princess Bubblegum is negatively affected by the crown's curse. Is Marceline up next? She was at least as important a secondary character on the original show as PB was. And more important personally to Simon.
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tripleyeeet · 4 months ago
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click here to read her story and here to listen to her tunes
I.
PERSONALITY.
age: twenty-seven pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual likes: competitive sports, drinking, cold weather, tabletop/video games. dislikes: horror movies, small talk, technology, early mornings. fears: losing touch of what's real; hallucinating. also, being isolated. desires: to be appreciated. whether that's through her friends or her job, she just wants to know she's doing a good job.
RELATIONSHIPS.
love interest: nanami kento friends: nanami kento, gojo satoru, kiryu tsukiko (@gunslingerorchid's oc), ichiro yoshida (male oc) family: sato chiyo (mother), sato botan (father), sato minoru (grandfather), sato haru (brother), sato ren (brother)
II.
born on may 7th, 1990 in the bunkyo ward in tokyo.
grew up with her parents and two younger brothers in the heart of the city.
was kind of a shy kid up until her father offered her a "job" helping him coach the tokyo university's baseball team. then she became a lot more sociable.
at around age seven though, she started hallucinating monsters, unaware that they were actually curses until about six months after when she was sent to her grandfather's house.
once there, she began to learn about their family history and how some members were, quote, "destined for greater things."
at first, she wasn't keen on the idea of being different. but, as she got older and started taking on more responsibilities, she discovered that she genuinely enjoyed helping people and began to dream of becoming a proper sorcerer.
because of this, she started combat training around twelve alongside lessons in energy manipulation with her grandfather. both of which ultimately led to her further developing her allocation technique, which she can use to collect and redistribute cursed energy.
during this time, she also discovered her love for competitive sports. specifically wrestling and boxing which she started taking lessons for until inevitably enrolling for school at the tokyo technical college.
III.
INNATE TECHNIQUE.
— ALLOCATION; after making physical contact, hitomi can manipulate the output of her target's cursed energy by adding or subtracting a small percentage inside her own body.
EXTENSION TECHNIQUE 1.
—APPENDAGE; hitomi has the ability to extend her technique into whatever objects she touches. meaning, if the target is hit by said object the effects of her curse are still valid.
EXTENSION TECHNIQUE 2.
—ASSIGN; after subtracting a portion of a targets cursed energy, hitomi can reassign it to an ally through touch.
REVERSE TECHNIQUE.
—ADMINISTER; when injured, if enough excess energy still remains, hitomi can use it to temporarily heal herself.
BINDING VOW.
—REVEALING ONE'S HAND; by divulging how her cursed technique works, hitomi can maximize the output of cursed energy into her next attack.
*CURRENTLY A GRADE 2 SORCERER.
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void-galaxy-shenanigans · 8 months ago
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It happened again today 😅 (/amused, positive)
As a trans masc nonbinary person (more specifically, boyflux) who’s now 11 months on HRT, sometimes people respond in unexpected & validating ways.
One of those ways is when they assume we are or ask if we’re transitioning the other direction.
By this I mean, we use he/they pronouns, but sometimes I wear a skirt or dress with a masc-coded shirt & button up or flannel. Every now and again I reverse it, pants and a flannel/button up but with a glittery or fem-coded shirt or sweater. Because why not, & because it no longer makes me dysphoric, & because why do clothes have to have a gender (they don’t).
Usually when we do this (mostly full beard, mustache filling in, typically-masc face shape), people passive aggressively ‘sir’ or he/him us, because they assume trans fem instead.
I’m not saying this as in, I won’t correct them or I want to speak over trans fem people and trans women. I do correct them if it’s safe to do so (appointments) or walk away if it’s not safe.
Today we had a new person at our therapy office tentatively ask if we’re trans fem (using outdated language, “are you, y’know...male to female”, but—), and that was oddly affirming because today our gender is wibbly wobbly, not quite man (man is on the horizon, in sight but not here on the ship�� we’re floating on the ocean in a massive ship as this....pirate-but-fae magic-type vague category of ‘mixed gender vibe’ person).
It’s still uncomfortable sometimes. But it’s also affirming on the nonbinary vibes of our gender identity & validates the intentionally androgynous presentation we sometimes go for.
Ideally we just...wouldn’t get misgendered & people would be respectful & ask for pronouns/name instead. But if they’re gonna be rude & try to misgender us, it can sometimes be affirming if they get the direction wrong.
~~~
Just curious:
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sniperct · 2 years ago
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Some minor dragonflight spoilers, but random nice things I've noticed that's just… there. As in its completely normal and just exists which is really nice.
like you can argue they're just crumbs but its so normalized within the world and is a thousand times better than those two night elves flirting up in star's rest. I mean sure I want a major lore character to be gay, but I still love it, just existing like we're a part of the world.
Dude who teaches you some of the new crafting mechanics's quest line involves making a gift for his husband and you repeatedly encounter them as they teach you how to craft
first centaur leader you meet in the main storyline has a service animal she trained herself and speaks through an sign interpreter because she's gay (and their society is generally matriarchal without making the matriarchy into the patriarchy but in reverse)
you know how there are animals that help people with trauma? yeah that's a thing you explicitly help with and it's a really touching story
there's a quest to help a centaur propose to his boyfriend and while you're doing it you pick up a quest to help the 2nd centaur propose to the 1st centaur and it's as adorable as it sounds (the description of how they first met still sticks with me)
ENBY CENTAUR! also a couple other characters referred to with they/them pronouns
wide variety of skin tones for most of the expedition npcs as well as the centaurs and dragon visage forms
The entire 'stay a while' quest is poignant and touching. How time and distance can make you forget things but you can't forget everything and the pain can still be as raw and real as it was ten thousand years ago
horde and alliance actually acting like allies and even being friends and respecting each other *its been 18 years.gif*
Also the whole general theme of finding new lands and helping the dragons reconnect with the place that was once their home is *chef's kiss*
General mood and feeling for me reminds me heavily of the best parts of mists of pandaria.
Also the bad guys in like just a few cutscenes and quests make a lot more sense and have much more interesting and valid motivations than anything SL tried to do.
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goldendaydna · 2 years ago
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Lisa headcanons just because
There is very little content of Lisa out there in general which is shame cuz personally I find the character pretty interesting. Note here, these headacanons are my own, you can all think pretty differently about them. I will also make reference to headcanons I have for other characters through these heacanons involving Lisa.
Not many people expect it but Lisa is a pretty handy person and is pretty good when it comes to home repairs and can easily pick up useful stuff from the internet or Youtube videos.
Lisa is non-binary. I just get those vibes, and is ok with all pronouns; while Lisa is fine with people normally using she/her for them they lowkey hope people would use other ones. (Outside of my personal headcanon's though I stick to the canon's she/her for others who don't share the same one) Lisa: Hey Robbie how do I look with he/him pronouns in my bio? *Makes a peace sign and grins while he shows him their profile on his phone screen* A confused Robbie not understanding what Lisa's getting at: You still look like you, Lisa?..... Wait why are you crying? Lisa finding his confusion cute as shit cuz he knows Robbie is perfectly fine with how they identify and just lives under a rock: You're a 10 Robbie 😭 A still confused Robbie: Ok?
They live with their single dad and older sister who are pretty supportive but work many hours, leaving Lisa to take care of the home and to her own devices, hence the homeowner knowledge and unnatural curiosity.
Lisa makes an effort to try and learn Spanish, a big part of it is due to Robbie and Gabe which is a valid reason tbh and both the brothers find that to be really sweet.
Gabe is very good at video games while Lisa and Robbie aren't that good but that's ok, they can be mid at video games together.
Lisa at some point figures out Robbie's a Ghost Rider and about Eli. They take it as best as they can and while it is a little weird to adjust to, they stick around and it leads to experimentation about Robbie's abilities as well as some accommodations like. Robbie: *Feeling sick due to his powers* Lisa: Oh wow Robbie you don't look so good. Want me to get your special barf bucket? [It's just a bucket that can withstand high temperatures] Robbie: Why do we have to call it that? Lisa who finds it funny: I'm getting your special barf bucket.
Because Lisa's been on the internet and is pretty openminded. He's the one to talk to Robbie about asexuality and that how he could possibly fit under that umbrella. Robbie learned a lot of things about himself and the world that day.
Lisa doesn't like or trust Eli at all.
Lisa is better at baking than cooking while Robbie is the reverse. Due to this she has brought home food Robbie's made on more than one occasion; her father and sister like to tease her and ask when they're finally going to meet Robbie and Gabe and when they do, want thank Robbie for saving their stomachs.
Even though Lisa and Robbie share mutual feelings for each other. After that whole thing with Eli and Gabe they decide to stay "friends" at least for the time being. That's all I can remember for now.
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wild-at-mind · 1 year ago
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Just listened to the new episode of Tortoise’s Slow Newscast about Gender GP and it’s sooooo bad. Maybe I should have known better than to bother with it, but I’ve enjoyed their non-gender related stuff. I also know at least one person who uses Gender GP, and I separately have been hearing from an FTM support group I’m in that a lot of NHS trusts are no longer willing to do shared care with Gender GP while still doing it with other similar services. I had hoped maybe it would shed some light on why that might be, because even though trans healthcare is vital it’s still important that it be done ethically and held to the same standards as other healthcare. But no, instead it was basically a referendum on whether medical transition is good/bad. Again. Fucks sake.
(For non-UK people, Gender GP are a private service for transition related healthcare but they can, or have in the past, worked with the NHS to provide shared care e.g. blood tests for HRT monitoring. It is needed because it’s a very, very, very long drawn out and difficult process to access NHS transition care.) The podcast’s thesis was that the founder of Gender GP (a cis GP named Helen Webberley) is not practicing ethical healthcare because there isn’t enough assessment before providing HRT. They do treat children but the majority of their customers are adults. However you can guess which demographic was focused on. No children or adults who had undergone treatment with Gender GP were interviewed. There was a suggestion from the interviewer that maybe Helen Webberley is y’know a little bit ditzy, naive as hell of course, but also isn’t she bad for making money out of this? In this way she is juxtaposed against the NHS, which is the Good and Right way to transition, because they don’t profit off trans kids I guess. This argument stops working in any country that doesn’t have free at point of use healthcare of any kind, but never mind that. Also the podcast to its credit acknowledges several times that there are no currently practicing NHS gender clinics in the UK, and that this is a problem. But that’s about all we get in that department. There’s a waiting list, but no clinics. That list gets longer and longer. It’s so fucked up.
I would argue that the podcast is sceptical about the entire concept of being transgender, and I wonder if they even realise this about themselves. Two mothers of trans sons are interviewed, one who used Gender GP and one who accessed black market hormones. The first mother says that Gender GP ruined her child. But she was still referring to her child as her daughter and using she/her. You would think that if medical transition was the only concern, the mother would have been fine with the social and 100% reversable changes in pronouns and name. I know it’s hard for someone who has known you their whole life as one name and set of pronouns to remember at first, but this was different, she just hadn’t done anything. Without saying it out loud she was clearly waiting for it all to blow over, and not even considering that it might not. Meanwhile the child’s father (they were divorced) is helping the child access Gender GP, which can’t have helped matters. The mother sadly laments how Gender GP tore her family apart. The 2nd mother was worried about her child accessing black market hormones and using home syringes. This is a valid worry. However she also referred to her child purely as daughter, she/her and actively aschewed his new name. I don’t even know why she was interviewed as her son wasn’t using Gender GP, and this wasn’t a perspective about what Gender GP was clearly designed to be- a safer option in between black market hormones and the endless wait for the NHS. It was very clear she was even more ‘wait for it to blow over’ than the first interviewee. She spoke with apparent disgust (though to be fair was voiced by an actor who may have been hamming it up a bit) that since socially transitioning at school her child was suddenly really popular and was liked by many people he wasn’t before, and they all loved using his new name....that part felt especially weird, like she was angry that her child was being called a name he preferred by his friends. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of parents alluding to children coming out as trans at school to become popular. I read an article where a parent was relaying what their child had said, where apparently their classmate came out as trans in assembly and everybody clapped. The idea that there might be other factors involved, such as novelty that will wear off for the classmates, the classroom social standing of the child in question, or even in the case of the 2nd podcast interviewee’s son, increased confidence post coming out making him more sociable, was ignored. I do understand that this is a relatively new area of medicine without much long term data to draw on. However all types of healthcare has to start somewhere, and I wouldn’t have thought that the fear of an army of angry and betrayed detransitioners one day (which the interviewer was clearly disappointed that Webberley had never seen) should hold back progress. There are older adults who transitioned as children out in the world. On tumblr almost a decade ago I remember young trans guys in parts of the US accessing hormones through informed consent clinics, to much hand wringing from certain reactionary internet circles-see if you can contact those people. How are they doing?
There is so much more I could talk about but I have to stop there or I’ll go on all night. Edited to add: this should not be interpreted as a defence of Helen Webberley, only as a condemnation of the podcast episode’s framing of the concept of gender services that don’t require stringent assessment as very dangerous and scary and automatically malpractice. There’s a reason why I listened in the first place- because I had heard not great things about Gender GP. Sadly I didn’t get a look at its problems and its founder’s problems, I got yet another highly biased condemnation of the entire concept of transness with way too much airtime for parents who don’t believe their teenage children have their own internal selves.
Edit again: I understand now what the podcast was saying about clinics- there are currently no gender clinics in England that treat children. There are a few in the country that treat adults over 18, and the waiting lists are really long but at least you can refer to one in any region. My referral was for Nottingham even though I’m in the south as it currently has the shortest waiting list on the tracker.
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hagoftheholler · 2 years ago
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she/they pronouns, reading on self esteem/my relationship with myself?
Cards: Five of Hearts (reversed); Ten of Hearts; Six of Hearts
Anon, did you recently go through a breakup or separation of some kind? It could be an ex but could also be anybody else you've had to remove from your life.
Regardless, it seems a good chunk of your self-esteem issues is rooting from toxic relationships. The cards are highlighting a desire to reconnect, make amends and so on... but it would only be temporary.
Learn to separate your need for validation and affections from others and your self-worth. Your own sense of independence and self-love should come above all else.
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Feedback is always appreciated! Anons are welcome to send another ask to give feedback; just clarify which reading was yours.
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kai-keda · 2 years ago
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Omg people on twitter are actually saying it’s lesbophobic to not see Dragonfruit as a lesbian ship I -
Holy fucking shit I need to lie down.
Here’s a rant I narrowly avoiding actually sending them cause I realized they were possibly saying that “thinking Dragonfruit isn’t a lesbian ship is lesbophobic” rather than saying that “telling them it’s invalid is wrong.”
I think anyone who views Red as sapphic is super valid and should be allowed to make content or talk about her as such if it makes them happy.
I get kinda squicked at seeing how many people are treating “Red Son is genderfluid!” as canon fact based on one storyboard artist putting “Any Pronouns” on a fun Pokémon Trainer ID card that also had xim listed as “420 Years Old” because it’s the funny number.
I get squicked by it BECAUSE I’m genderfluid and I don’t put “any” pronouns as any descriptor of myself because my fluidity doesn’t work that way. It’s fluid because it changes moment to moment and day to day. On one day I can be all in on being a woman, the next I could be “a man but in an Uno reverse card kinda way”. And in the former, I want be referred to exclusively with she/her and in the latter I’ll take anything BUT she/her. I don’t go by “any at any time”. And the fact that people use that as their definition and “proof” of Red Son being “canonically genderfluid” is, well, squicky af for me.
At the current moment, the only canon fact is that we have only seen Red be referred to with he/him in canon. Everything else beyond that is headcanon. They’re all VALID headcanons, don’t get me wrong. I’d be a hypocrite for saying otherwise when I have a whole fic dedicated to her being Agender literally titled “Could Not Care Less” which is a headcanon based on that same ID card and someone close to me being Agender.
Idk man - I’m just genuinely concerned about how many people in this fandom are taking their headcanons as fact and forcing them down peoples throats.
You see Red Son as sapphic and consider Dragonfruit a lesbian ship because of it? Right on! Don’t listen to people being asses about “Well CANONICALLY” cause whatever they’re about to say most likely isn’t canon atm cause none of the characters have discussed any queer identities in the show.
Thanks for coming to my essay, it’s all love for you and your lesbian Red headcanon ❤️
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wizardchicken · 9 months ago
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Ahhhhhhhhh it's going good...?
good !!!
I'm feeling better about just calling myself a trans girl and just going with it.
that's probably the most important thing :) getting used to a new label can take some time. you gotta break it in and make it feel like home!
But now the prospect of what's next is starting to spook me.
valid !!!
Like, I don't really *have* to actually transition irl, and I don't really intend to for a while, but I'm not really sure if I just want to stay like this or not, y'know?
i definitely know. i think there's a few ways to take some baby steps to test the waters, but a lot of the time you kind of just have to take a leap of faith.
when people talk about "transition" they typically use it to refer to two categories of transition, which is socially transitioning and medically transitioning.
socially transitioning is the one that's scary for trans people, which is where you get boymoders who take HRT and pretend to be boys.
medically transitioning is the one that's scary for cis people, which is where you get legislation about bathrooms.
ultimately, depending on your circumstances, either one can be something you can dip your toes into.
voice training, for example, is non-destructive and reversible. so is dressing different. if your family and or friends are cool enough, you can try out different names or pronouns with them same as you would try on different clothes.
hormone replacement therapy can lead to permanent changes to your body, but ultimately? your existing hormone regimen has already lead to permanent changes in your body. it's called puberty. and for most transfem people, once they start hrt their main concern is that those changes aren't happening fast enough.
I've been growing out my hair but I'm starting to notice that I'm getting closer and closer to it actually being significantly longer than at any other point in my life and it's making me really nervous because I have no idea how to manage my hair or style it or make it look good in either a masculine style or a feminine style and I don't really want people asking too many questions and I'm also nervous about actually seeing myself with longer hair and...
You should go to a salon! You can poke around to see what salons near you are trans-friendly and book a women's hair appointment with them. Get in there, ask their advice on what would be feminizing on you, ask them for care instructions, just ask shitloads of questions.
If anyone questions your hair, it's literally so easy to be like "Do you like it?" and "Thanks! I've been trying to take better care of it :)" and just act totally ignorant to the whole thing. My best friend is a massive egg who's been growing their hair out for the better part of a decade now, and nobody ever comments on it.
My advice? Go full fem. You can always chop it later, but it takes time to grow it back.
And heck, maybe I'm not even trans at all and I'm just making this all up or really exaggerating my feelings or something... but honestly I'm probably not... unless??? No, probably not... but maybe... perhaps... unless...
-_-
not a single cis person on the planet has ever said this
...on second thought I don't think the jitters have really gone very far at all lol
valid :) i think they'll start going away the more you start to engage in gender affirming actions. like right now, you've just leapt off the cliff of cisness and are wile-e-coyote frozen in the air. the only way forward is to touch down on the cliff on the other side !!
It's been a week since I came out but it's felt like forever
totally! a lot of trans people keep track of their coming out day as like a secondary birthday because it's such a momentous occasion.
sounds like things are progressing as normal! i'm excited to hear about your haircut -- hopefully they have you looking beautiful!
You’ve got so much good advice <3
“Not a single cis person on the planet has ever said this”
Lollll you’re right I swear I’ll get it into my dumb mind eventually
I think I probably have a few friends I could probably come out to… I’ve just gotta work up the courage for it first. I think that it might be a pretty good idea to do so, though.
I can’t promise I’ll get the haircut… but I’ll at least give it proper consideration!!
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crisishauntline · 2 years ago
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There’s a card in the deck of the game We’re Not Really Strangers that says something like “What question are you most afraid to ask me? One that you wouldn’t dare to ask?”
For me, that question in L's and my relationship is "Would you still love you if I had a penis and/or if I was trans?" Because I know her answer would be "No, I'm a lesbian." And that makes me sad. A little angry too, if I'm being honest, because it's not just that she's expressed a preference for women and vaginas, she also makes frequent disdainful or disgusted comments whenever penises or dating/loving men come up in conversation. Which isn't a lot, but it's enough that it bothers me.
I am sure of myself and my convictions on this topic. I am not a pick-me girl crying reverse sexism or men’s rights, and I’m not bringing up trans people as an empty rhetorical device or a virtue signal. I’m aware of the differences between systemic discrimination and cultural/social/personal biases. Obviously, there are layers of misogyny and patriarchy that don’t always apply when she directs the disgust she's received from men back at them (as well as anyone else “like” them in body/gender only). And I can see that a lot of her repulsion comes from her own hurt—being treated as disgusting, untouchable, or unlovable by boys and men since she was a kid just because of her weight. But I don’t think it’s fair, not just to trans women and non-binary people but yes, also to cis men. I don’t think there is anything wrong or revolting about masculinity or penises, just because both have been used in ways that are violent and oppressive. Toxic masculinity is not the only kind of masculinity, and people who have penises aren’t always men/masculine.
As a bi/pan-identifying person, I have deeply loved and reveled in the bodies and minds of certain cis men and trans women and non-binary people. I am not ashamed of that, and there are many intimacies and thrills from those relationships that I still treasure in my memory. I reject the implication that being attracted to men and/or people with penises makes me gross or stupid or lesser-than by association. I don’t claim to be personally oppressed because of biphobia, but it exists and I refuse to accept, validate, or internalize it when I encounter it.
My bi-/pansexuality aside, another reason I’m scared to ask this question is the murky/indifferent relationship I have with both my body and gender identity. On the whole, I think I like being a woman and I like the cunt I came with. I think I’m attractive enough and don’t feel particularly dysphoric, nor do I have a particular yearning to be a man, have a penis, or even present in a more masculine way, but I do fantasize about these things sometimes. The thought of going by different pronouns doesn’t do much for me. I think as someone who doesn’t really like to be perceived in any sense, it’s difficult to imagine a different gender identity or body changing that for me. But who knows, maybe it would.
At this point, L and I have asked each other maybe over a hundred of silly yet earnest “Would you still date me if _____” questions. I’ve heard her say yes to some of the most ridiculous scenarios I could come up with—What if I was a ghost, a sentient jar of Skittles, a person named Adolf Coca-Cola? What if I sneezed a gob of snot directly into her mouth when I orgasmed? What if I was constantly pissing or shitting my pants just a little bit? And while her affirmative answers to such hypotheticals have surprised and delighted me, it also makes me feel even shittier that despite being able to see past all that, she wouldn’t be able to see past a thing as harmless and trivial—but also potentially joyful and beautiful—as my gender or my body type.
I want to have this conversation at some point. I don’t know when. I’m not convinced it’s worth fully opening up about it when it comes to my own gender/body insecurity. I do want to encourage her to be more mindful about her preferences and how she expresses them. In my opinion, genital preferences aren’t inherently bad or harmful, but turning them into a value system is.
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neopronounsmybelovaed · 3 years ago
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Pronoun and name validation time! Shai does so many pronoun checks for people that it’s only fair that sea get zayir names and pronouns validated as well. I mostly want to give ster a big thank you. A pronoun check ne did for me really helped me out and I’m sure ze has helped many others with hyr checks.
Also, Saturn has so much information about neopronouns. I’m a little jealous of thim. Pendos survey was really well done and quoi should be proud of bitterself for collecting all that data. Ara posts about sess findings are always fascinating to read.
Another important service Stav does for the neopronoun community is the fine art of pun-making. I especially enjoy glitches header, where tey squeezed four puns into five words. Jades puns are delightful and I’m always surprised to see just how many words thon can turn into pronoun puns.
Well, that’s all I have to say for now. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get around to all of Sappho’s names and pronouns, but I hope bu is happy to read some of the pronouns that might not be used for um very often. I hope xx has a wonderful day, keeps up the good work, and takes any well-deserved rests that π might need!
I don't exactly have words other than JFSDJFKDSJ but I'm having a pretty bad night and this helped a lot. So. Thank you and I love you.
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gender-euphowrya · 3 years ago
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hey fellow transes
if you say something regarding gender that transphobes agree with and then pull out the “i can say that, i’m trans” card you’re an absolute sack of shit farewell
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onthepyre · 3 years ago
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gender is like. very weird. like i don't think im cis but calling myself trans feels really weird too and i lean more towards feminine presentation but not really because i enjoy it but because it's easier and im used to it and im going to be read as feminine anyway due to my body type but like. if i had the opportunity to be perceived as more masculine would i? probably. but i won't ever actually know because even if i did bind and find some way to hide my hips it wouldnt be enough and i would still have a chest and i don't think the baby face chubby cheeks really help and i do like wearing feminine clothing sometimes but there's no attachment to the way it makes people read me and sometimes i look at androgynous/masculine people and go god i wish that were me. and i wish i didn't have to figure this out by myself
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