#reveals happened! now I can post this yay

[bangtanagan]

all these long goodbyes

jikook omegaverse (beta!jm x alpha!jk) fake dating, exes to lovers, angst 28k, rated T, complete written for the jikook beta fest Only weeks after a messy breakup, Jimin is back at Jungkook’s door begging him to come home with him and play the part of the happy couple for his parents, who don’t know they’ve split. Jungkook, against all reason, sense, and the ache of his broken heart, says yes.

He steps into the house and nearly turns around, back to the car and the train station and Seoul. He spoke too soon. He can’t do this. Three days in this house will kill him.

It smells awful.

His nose burns. The entire house stinks, layers upon layers of emotions and scents crashing over him in a wave, strong enough to make his eyes water. Rot and flowers and something sickly sweet, and the sterile abrasion of medicine, and fear and sweat and sickness.

Death. Jimin’s parents’ house smells like death.

read on ao3

[4dkellysworld]

Real talk: When I gave up

Okay real talk here. This journey isn't always easy, especially at the start when you've just learned everything and you're identifying with an ego. Near the beginning of my journey, I came to understand a lot of the teachings intellectually and even instinctively. There was only one thing left. To realize Self. And I would keep trying with all these practices but felt like nothing was "happening" (even though intellectually I already knew there was nothing to achieve since we are already Self!). It was frustrating (but of course! I was still looking at all this from the identification of the ego).

Then one day I was sick of trying, sick of feeling desperate, sick of being on this goddamn mental pilgrimage, that I decided to give up on trying altogether. I already AM Self. From that day on, I decided I would always identify as Self and never again as the ego. And that's when things started naturally unfolding without me even doing anything and I gained more understanding experientially. Probably an unpopular take (for realized gurus lol) but I also threw away self-inquiry as a practice because I found it to be the least helpful for me personally and why do I need to ask "Who am I" when I already know I Am?

Abandon all imaginings and know yourself as you are - Nisargadatta Maharaj

I stopped seeking. I stopped trying. I stopped asking questions (including self-inquiry yay!). I stopped doing any practices to "get" or "understand" or "realize" anything. I stopped caring about understanding more of the teachings or gaining more understanding intellectually. I stopped thinking of Self-identification as some goal to reach, something that I need to progress on. I stopped waiting for anything to happen and just enjoyed being in the Now. I didn't realise at the time and only now upon reflection I realise that I gave up on all ego activities on spirituality lol. All of that is the ego looking for something to do and trying to achieve something. Only through my experience, do I now understand more deeply the things that realized masters have said. E.g. Robert Adams said something like "stop trying and seeking to be liberated and you will be because you already are". We've imagined our prisons but we are actually already liberated and always have been.

I decided (because it's true!) I already AM Self, it's not something you need to become (or understand in order to become). And because I AM, there is nothing to do but be.

edit: I found this passage a day after writing the initial draft of this post and Robert Adams said the same thing! But giving up was something I was led to by listening to Self. Truth is Truth :)

There is nothing you can think of in this Universe that can tell you what you are. It is beyond words and thoughts. You can never with your finite mind understand who you are. So do not try to do this. It works in reverse. It is when you actually stop thinking about who you are, or wanting to know who you are, and you stop analyzing, and you stop trying to figure it out, that the truth about you is revealed. Self-Realization from Silence of the Heart - Robert Adams

Two things I didn't stop doing: observing as the witness consciousness and sitting in silence in the awareness of being. But both "practices" are things I as Self naturally do because it's my very nature! It's not the same as when I used to identify as the ego and did them because I was trying to achieve something. Sitting in silence & stillness is literally my favourite activity now haha. I'm not sure whether to describe witnessing my ego progressively dissolving or merging into Self because both feel correct? Ah but that doesn't matter. Another thing I stopped caring is to label things as well and just let everything be and unfold on its own - there truly is so much peace and beauty in just being Self! I'm only trying to use words to describe this to share with others in case it's helpful for their journeys but of course words are limiting and you can only understand this when you experience it yourself.

There is nothing to get, only just BE. And it is soooo freeing and wonderful once you understand this. Give up on trying to make the mind and ego understand you are Self, that is a fruitless task. Leave them be. Stop trying to make things happen and just let things be. The more you stay in silence with this understanding, the more the light of awareness shines through and the more you will experientially understand this. Allow things to be and happen on their own, including the permanent identification with Self. Have no desires, expectations or judgments and just surrender to the Now. Just keep being Self.

Only look at who you are, over and over and over until it becomes the permanent identification and replaces the ego. - 4dbarbie

Remember to listen to your own Self above all. Everything else is simply a guide to point you towards Self. You are your greatest teacher! So listen to your Self and do what feels right for you.

Your own self is your ultimate teacher, the outer teacher is merely a milestone. It is only your inner teacher that will walk with you to the goal, because he is the goal. - Nisargadatta Maharaj

[cmdrfupa]

Chihiro

2nd installment of Upheaval.

cw: all chapters and content warnings are listed in this post but this chapter contains smut near the end. Grandma's first nastee writing in a decade heh.

an: firstly, thank you for being so nice to me 😭 I expect nothing but you all seem to find a way to make me feel like I’m good at this and I appreciate it more than you know. I tried not to make this a yep fest and therefore at least 2 more chapters will happen so yay!

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! ✨✨

August 6, 2021

  No longer being led by liquid courage, but by the sheer need to be your doting husband once again, Kento took initiative and scheduled the next counseling session. On appointment day, he picked you up early, ensuring he had an hour to calm his nerves and spirit during the drive.

The idea of reconciling felt surreal once he learned how close you were to being done with this marriage. 

"She has the papers drawn up and waiting to have you served. So figure out how to stop her from giving them to you, Nanamin! Simple." His voice of reason was the sound of Gojo telling him that you had already drawn up divorce papers. 

From what he was told, you were asking for very little if you both let it go through. Willing to leave him the home you bought together only wanting to keep the Nanami name and split all investments you'd made while married. Fair even when your heart was being broken into pieces. Perhaps he didn't deserve you. 

So step one was easy: Stop you from handing those papers to him. And that started here.

Ootaishi Niko: Would be special grade sorcerer and revered therapist across the southern prefectures. 

Currently not one of Kentos' favorite people.

  "I'm glad the first two sessions didn't scare you off. Make yourself comfortable." Kento sat in the middle of the couch, his thigh lightly grazing yours as he crossed his legs. He noticed you sat close to him, and he didn't move. 

Heavy air filled the room as the sound of the central unit whirred to life, gusting a light chill through the air.

Uneasy anticipation sat in the wings of the brightly lit space. 

The chenille-upholstered couch tugged at Kento as he sat back, placing the pillow between you both.

"We apologize for ghosting. After the two sessions, we didn't know—"

"If it was worth returning once they moved out of our shared home," Kento cut in before you could finish. 

He noticed your leg bouncing; he fixated on the box of tissues in front of him. "I apologize. That was unnecessary." 

"It's fine."  

Ootaishi noticed the small interaction but said nothing. Instead, she lowered the window covering that faced the couch and sat across from you in a single chair. 

"I am, as you know, dedicated to healing relationships, revealing the truth, and finding solutions. By entering my office, you consented to my domain. You could try to bypass my expansion, but it would do you more harm in the end."

She sat a small talisman on the table. The etchings glowed similarly to the Heian-era sigils you'd seen in your studies.

"With that said, you can leave anytime, as this is a barrierless realm. If you exit without acknowledging it, it will cause 24 hours of what I call Toxic Empathy. Are we clear?"

"Yes," you both uttered in unison, consenting before sitting back on the couch. 

"Splendid! Now, please close your eyes so we can begin."

Kento followed your lead, closing his eyes once he saw you settle. You took shallow breaths to center yourself.

In a low tone, Ooitaishi spoke, "Memory Alpha."

There was a noticeable shift in the room. Temperature dropped by at least 15 degrees as a chill swept on the nape of his neck. Mumbles of small talk surrounded him as the familiar scent of overly artificial strawberry and bramble room deodorizer filled his nostrils with an unpleasant sting.

Nearby speaker hummed a song that felt like a distant memory: ‘Daremo Shiranai’ by Arashi.

"Gojo's?" Kento's eyes opened, and there it was: Gojo's apartment. Ambient lighting lined the spacious loft walls that were never really lived in but used occasionally for events like birthdays, meetings after official meetings, and that night's game festivities.

Kento looked around the room, fully accepting that the office had been transformed into some type of memory bank. His memory bank.

"So, Kento. It seems you're first up. Do you mind telling me why we're here?" Ootaishi smiled, sipping the cold lager beer that appeared on the side table next to her.

"Ken." You knew exactly where you were.

Clearing his throat, Kento perched himself on the edge of the couch as he saw his younger variant walk through the front door. "The night Shoko introduced us. When we first met."

November 15, 2014

"Nanamin!" Gojo leaped with a smile, waving him down from the crowded corner of people playing Jenga.

Waving back in hopes of not being bothered no more Kento considered himself saved as Shoko walked over. "Avoid eye contact. He's been drinking milk tea all day and won't shut up about beating you in Yahtzee. We've got more important things to do anyway." She brought her hand to Nanamis's shoulder, chauffeuring him to where you sat near the open balcony doors.

There you were, leg shaking as you looked out the nearby window before noticing the approaching duo. "She's like me. But probably with a little more patience. The perfect match, really." He was working with nothing other than you had the patience of a saint and apparently were able to get Shoko to stop smoking.

And while he wasn't a superficial nor religious man, he thanked every God above and below that you were also beautiful.

Your cashmere sweater fit you perfectly as you stood up to greet him.

"I'm back, and here's the friend I mentioned. This is Nanami." Shoko gave a look of approval as she gave Kento a slight nudge.

"Hey! It's a pleasure." He took your outstretched hand and firmly shook it.

"Nanami Kento. It's great to meet you. Shoko has told me nothing about you."

Your warm laugh sent a surge of serotonin through his chest.

"Seems she's great at keeping her lips shut." You sat back down, offering the chair next to you. "But it does give us plenty to talk about and get acquainted better."

Nanami slid his coat off, smiling as he hung it on the back of the chair and sat beside you.

"Of course. Like how that sweater you're wearing is lovely. Cashmere?"

"Yeah! I bought it while I was out in Scotland over the summer. Thank you. Big fan of fashion?" You questioned while grabbing the beer bottle from the table.

He grabbed the drink Shoko had set down for him while she observed you interacting as if it were a chaperoned date. "Not necessarily. I just prefer to buy for long-term use."

"Same! I'd rather spend the large amount on quality that'll last years than something I'll need to replace by the end of the season." A sip from the apple-flavored IPA soothed your throat before you continued. "Like, it's money, and I hate to be an incessant contributor to capitalism, so I want to at least be wise about where my money goes, yanno? Less consuming, more investing in things that can be seen as sustainable. Even if it's clothing, I suppose."

Sensible, financially aware, hates capitalism, knew to buy a cashmere sweater in Scotland.

'Let's hold off on the pedestal.' Kento internally tried his best to ignore the immediate fluttering of his heart as you spoke. 'Perfect match.'

Four hours. Kento sat in that uncomfortable chair talking with you about everything he could for four hours, from learning about your love of music theory and literature to your time in med school with Shoko. He told you about his passion for research, travel, advocacy, and the arts. Your shared love of cooking somehow brought you to discussing family lineage.

"So a distant relative to the woman who was the unfortunate victim of Noritoshi Kamo. That dates back to the-"

"Meiji period. It's an incredibly long story, but my father tried to keep up with that part of my family history for a long time."

"Do you keep in touch with the Kamo clan?"

Shaking your head confidently, you responded, "They try to reach out to me, but I'd rather not be associated for the time being. Bit of a weird conversation to have."

Kento noticed your slight disconnect from this part of the conversation, watching your eyes migrate to fixating on your bottle once you mentioned their recent attempt. Choosing not to pursue it any further, he instead focused on your features as the low lighting seemed to glow around you.

Kento felt a hint of glee for the first time in a long time. He realized you'd noticed him taking you in, and the corners of your mouth lifted.

"Shoko tells me you'll be joining us at Jujutsu High. She said you left the sorcery world but came back! You excited?"

"You'll also be there?" Kento lifted his brow, not realizing you'd actually be around him more than he expected.

"Oh, yes! It isn't a significant role, though. I'm a consultant and teaching some history courses. And will do field work when needed."

"History?"

"Cursed energy and ancient techniques. Pushed hard for it to be a class for all 2nd years." Were you really telling him that you had a history course on curses?

"I'll have to sit in on one of your classes then. Sounds like I could learn a lot from you."

The sound of Gojo imitating another party guest echoed across the room, making you cringe with a laugh as Kento shook his head with a plastered smile. "I have to admit, I was a little hesitant on this whole blind date idea."

"Dating can be challenging as it is." Taking the last swig of your ale before idly playing with the bottle's rim, you continued, "Adding the shroud of mystery can make it almost unbearable. But Shoko did mention that you were my perfect match."

"Perfect match?"

"Don't tell me she was wrong, Nanami Kento." Dripping with flirtation, the tone in which you said his name turned his ears red-hot.

When he leaned into you, Kento smiled at your poor attempt to hide your sudden, bashful reaction. "I guess we'll only find out if I take you on a proper date on Sunday, perhaps?"

"Only if you promise to wear this tie again. I like how the pattern complements the chestnut flecks in your gorgeous eyes."

Marble. A marble pedestal. Engraved with your name across the front. One of the world's many wonders that now prominently sits in the forefront of Kento's mind for however long you allow.

"I'll let you dress me. How does that sound?"

July 3, 2015

"Surprise!" You cheesed until your cheeks ached as you stood in Kento's dim living room. The sparkler candles sitting atop the chocolate croissant bread pudding you held acted as the secondary light source after the dimmed ceiling light as he walked toward you. "Happy birthday, Ken!"

Chuckling, Kento sat his briefcase on the couch, bewildered by your ambush. "Dove, what is this?"

"Oh!" Handing off the dish to Kento, you put a party blower to your mouth and blew into it with all your might. "A surprise!"

Kento savored a fleeting moment to take in the sight of his living room. Adorned with its usual neutral-toned furniture, it had been transformed by the addition of a striking balloon bouquet nestled in a corner. Glittery confetti scattered across the floor and coffee table, catching the radiant hues of the late sunset, while elegant streamers crisscrossed the ceiling, adding an extra layer of festivity. Coming back to you, his softened gaze met yours.

"As is tradition back at home, you now have to suffer through my rendition of 'Feliz En Tu Día.' Clearing your throat as you placed a party hat on Kento, you began to belt.

What was happening? Why was his pulse quickening as he watched you sing a song with everything in you? Why did he feel his body warm up from how you smiled waiting for him to make a wish for today and everyday after?

His wish was you. You today and everyday after.

Kento felt his heart pounding from how sweet you were to him. Effort that felt so genuine and done out of love, he was beginning to think he might have a stroke. "I—thank you." He blew out the candles with a quaint smile and set the bread pudding down before kissing you deeply. "You really did this for me when you didn't have to. I have a birthday every year."

"Listen, you only turn 25 once; you deserve to be celebrated on every birthday." You laid a warm kiss on his cheek and held him close. "I know Shoko's party on Saturday may not be your scene, so I wanted to do something intimate and special just for us."

Kento went in for another kiss, gentler this time. Your heated flesh invites the palms of his hands as they slide under your shirt, finding the soft flanks of your waist. It was the most courageous he'd felt as the fluttery feeling hit his chest. "I love you."

Seven months and two weeks ago. 230 days. Kento knew he’d fall in love with you the same night he met you when you decided that waiting until Sunday was too long to see him again. When he took you to his favorite izakaya and introduced you to the owners, who kept giving him the all-knowing "That's the one" look all night.

You sat close in his usual booth, telling him everything else that wasn't shared at the party. The same booth where you couldn't help but notice the overwhelming grief in his posture as he confided his reasons for why he had left the sorcery world once before. In those suffocating moments, you became his solace, reminding him to just breathe. You became his reason to stay, his undying love.

"You love me?"

"I love you."

Your pupils dilated while your stomach filled with butterflies. "I love you, Kento."

When you returned his feelings itf felt like he was experiencing everything for the first time. He felt more alive than ever. Every interaction led to the heart-thumping experience of your love. The sheer intensity of each emotion made it a time of joy and anxiety as the fear of losing this feeling became just as strong as the love itself.

Kento's actions from this point forward were to be charged with meaning. His heart, which had been in darkness for years, was now in your hands.

"Memory Alpha 2.33."

The distant memory of the dim living room shut into itself as Kento reawakened in the office. He immediately looked over to you, your eyes still closed, but tears stricken down your cheeks as if you'd been crying.

"Dove, you okay?" Anxiety coated his tone as you appeared to still be under the effects of the domain.

"She will come to in a moment, Nanami. I want to take this time to talk to just you."

Kento wasn't sure how therapy was supposed to go, but this seemed far from the usual protocol. He glanced back over at you.

"I promise you, she's safe," Ootaishi assured Kento, sharing a quick glance at your current state of mind to calm his anxieties. You were sitting beachside at sunset, engrossed in yet another article on creating the perfect greenhouse all year round. A beach chair was set beside yours, and his worn copy of "Antic Hay" awaited him.

A wistful smile graced his face. "Thank you."

"You care very deeply for her."

Kento kept his eyes on you for a moment longer, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest, the way your mouth seemed to twitch into a smile. "She's my life."

"And so you choose to push your life away."

Kento's neck joints cracked as he turned back to face the therapist. "Excuse me?"

Ootaishi wrote something in her journal as Kento mentally torched a hole through her chest. "Your wife. You call her your life, yet we are here because your life is tired of being pushed away."

There goes his ring, feeling too small again.

"I'm not pushing her away."

"Then my apologies for assuming. What would you call what you're doing, Nanami?"

"I feel like we've reached a standstill in our marriage," he said, twisting the wedding band around his finger. The pinching sensation distracted from the undeniable truth of his feelings. “We've grown but in different directions. It's impacting our daily lives."

Ootaishi glanced at the talisman, the etchings now glowing a dull red. "It seems someone forgot about our honesty policy, Nanami."

A huff strong enough to blow off a roof exited Kentos' nose before dragging his hands down his face.

"It's clear that you are not ready to get to the real root of your problem, and that's okay. Healing is never linear, nor is it quick." Ootaishi took a few more notes and smiled before closing the journal. "But just for future reference, I prefer the method of you being honest with me, as I hate forcing myself into your psyche for the answer I need to resolve issues.”

Kento's jaw clenched as he sat up fully. There was a small, dare he say minuscule part of him that wished he could've just fessed up to why he was being a pussy. The chance was there; if nothing else, he appreciated how forward Ootaishi was to get him there.

But he wasn't ready to face the demons he knew needed to be slain before it was too late.

"Can you not mention this to her? It's not that I'm trying to keep anything from her—"

"You have my word, Nanami." She sat on the edge of her chair and looked over at you. "If you're ready, I can wake them up."

With a nod, Ootaishi intonated, 'Memory Alpha; end sequence,' and Kento watched closely as you slowly roused yourself.

"Welcome back." Ootaishi opened the curtains halfway and gave a warm, almost motherly smile as she looked at Kento and then at you. "Take some time to get adjusted to the room, and then we will end today's session."

"Thank you again for being so open to going back."

"I'm glad we did. It was better than I thought it would be. It was far more invasive than I realized." He crinkled his nose as he recalled the all-too-intrusive experience.

You both shared a chuckle as Kento walked you to the door.

"Yeah, it's a bit intense. But I've only heard of great results from Ootaishi, so I'll allow the invasion."

There was a lighter air between you as you neared the threshold.

"Did you want to come in for lunch? I've been marinating some eggplant in red curry. There's more than enough."

"Is that a good idea? I should give you some time to sort through today's session."

Eyes fluttered quickly as you were taken aback by the sudden compliance from Kento. "Is Nanami Kento actually taking the therapist's suggestions seriously?" It was apparent how impressed you were.

With a light chuckle, Kento shrugged as he looked at you. "I just want to show you how serious I am about everything. You deserve time to process today just like I do. But we can grab lunch soon."

"Lunch. Just tell me when."

"Absolutely."

The two of you stood together in the luminous hallway, the air heavy with unspoken words. The silence that enveloped you was strangely comforting. The faint sound of footsteps approaching the elevator shattered the peacefulness, jolting you both back to the present moment.

"I should get going, but let me know how the eggplant turns out. Tell both Shoko and Utahime I said hello."

"Will do. Let me know when you've made it home safely."

His hesitancy showed in the two steps he took towards you. Opting out of embracing you and instead kissing the top of your head and inhaling your scent.

"See you later, dove.”

“See you Monday, Ken.”

As the sun slips below the horizon, the golden light of the setting sun fades, leaving only the pale moonlight to illuminate the evening. In the silence of the late evening, Nanami sat in his den, deep in thought, attention focused on the quiet contemplation's of his mind. You.

The sound of his breathing was the only sound in the room, punctuated by the occasional rustling of pages as he fidgeted with the corners of his book.

The soft beams of moonlight cast shadows on the floor, the trees standing guard like looming sentinels against the glossy wood.

“I don’t even know what the fuck I’m reading.” A deep, dispirited sigh left his lips as he read the same sentence for the eighth time. Mentally worn, Kento sat the book on the table and fell back in his chair, slouching as he closed his eyes to gather a bit of energy to get to bed.

“Come to bed, Ken. Your pillow is a real shit replacement for your chest.”

Hearing your voice in his head, he smiled as if you were in the room with him. Your low, sweet-as-saccharin voice filled his mind as he replayed your sweet sentiments to himself like he did every other night since splitting. Toying with the waistband until he was tired of trying to play coy with himself, he rubbed his growing erection through his pajamas.

“God.” His lips parted, sucking in a small breath as he thought of your scent. Your hand on his chest as he inhaled you that afternoon.

He freed his thick member, looking at a drip of precum before smearing it with his thumb.

“Tell me how you want me, Kento.”

His left hand gently massaged his balls while squeezing the head of his cock as your voice led him to stroke himself.

Slow strokes to copy how you pleasure him had his eyes rolling back as he envisioned your lips pressed against his neck. Your warm breath sending electricity down his spine, your slick cunt resting on his aching balls as you stroked him from above. “Faster. Please.”

His steady rhythm quickened, a long tug before he slid his hand up and down his length faster, the wet sounds of his slick shaft competing with the lewd moans that fell from his parted lips. You. The way you whimpered his name when his thumb rubbed over your clit. Your eyes full of hunger when he would only let the tip of his thick cock poke and prod at your eager, fluttering cunt. “Is this what you want, dove?” fucking every inch into his hand with brute force as if were your wetness.

“Not yet… fuck.” Kento slowed down, lightly tugging his taut balls from his form to stop himself from releasing.

Painstakingly slow, he watched his reddened cock head swell as his grasp tightened, sliding up and down his shaft again. He watched the way the veins in his right hand were accentuated with each squeeze of his cock. Recalling how his hands looked cradling your face as your nose met his pubic hair, taking every inch of him to send him into a crying mess.

Hair stuck to his forehead as his chest heaved, pumping quicker to satiate the flame that kept growing in his abs. Losing himself in the fierce desire for you. “Please let me cum, please. Please, dove.” Hips bucking at an unearthly pace with pathetic pants of desperation echoing as he felt his release hit its peak before he pulled his hands away.

He knows he won’t finish. He can’t finish. He watched his cock bounce and flinch freely while the sweat on his brow cooled him. A huff of frustration brought him back fully as he tucked himself back into his pants, trekking to the bedroom in silence.

You’d trained him to need you for that release. A cruel feat that he couldn’t even call a punishment because it was a self-inflicted disservice.

Settled into bed for the night, Kento checked his phone one more time. His lock screen lit up with the only photo Kento allowed to be taken right after his hospital stay post Shibuya. Your lips on his cheek as he gave the camera a shy smile, Gojo’s white hair peaking in from the bottom corner after a failed crop attempt.

Four months and a week: 128 days separated.

One day towards fixing what can be saved.

[itsgiovanna]

another side of you

pairing: fem!reader x rúben dias

type: one-shot

summary: you’ve been dating your boyfriend, jake, for three years. your relationship seems solid, but recently jake’s behavior has turned toxic, marked by jealousy and rudeness. complicating things, jake is friends with rúben dias, someone you definitely don’t get along with. but, when your relationship becomes too much, rúben reveals a protective and caring side that is completely new to you and him.

notes: this is my first one-shot with rúben, yay! hope you guys like it and i’m really open for doing a pt. 2 if this one goes well :) enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments! 🤍

warnings: abusive relationship, cursing, fluff.

face claim: dekota thompson

When you see couples kissing, laughing and having a great time together, it looks perfect. But, the truth is, it’s a lot messier than that. When you hit the three-year mark, things can get really tough, the excitement of those early days fades, couples start fighting for little stupid things that didn’t matter before. Well, you wished that having a discussion about who’s going to do the dishes was the problem with your boyfriend, Jake. He’s one of those guys who’s wonderful at the beginning, he used to bring you flowers, write sweet notes on post-it’s and take time to listen to you about a rough day at work. Now, it’s just a blank, it doesn’t even look like you both live in the same apartment anymore, not to mention he’d get unexpected angry with you.

“Where have you been, Y/N?” he says to you with a heavy tone, you try to hide the tiredness in your face and prepare for one of the many discussions you’ll have with him.

“We’re still working on that new project, I told you I’d be getting home at this time, it’s the only way we can finish it.” you go to the kitchen and hear his footsteps getting closer.

“It’s always work with you, do you really expect me to believe that?” as you turn around, Jake has his arms crossed and a rinkle on his forehead.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, Jake. I’m just really tired, I don’t feel like doing this all over again.” you try to leave, but feel his hand tightening on your arm. “Please, Jake.” your voice trembles.

“Don’t make me argue with you again about your lies. If you ever give me a reason, I won’t be the one who suffers.” you’re feeling a knot in your throat, but letting him see the tears would be worse.

“I won’t, Jake.” you try to look as calm as possible.

“Good.” he looks at you with disgust before letting go of your arm, it’ll probably have a bruise in the morning but you’ve learned how to hide it with concealer. “Don’t wait up, I’m going out.”

“What?” you ask, quietly, as he’s looking for his keys and opening the door.

“Are you deaf or something, Y/N?” he laughs.

“N-No, I just thought we’d spend some time together.” it’s like deep down, you still had hope he’d change, like at the beggining of your relationship, when everything was more than perfect.

“Don’t be stupid, I’d never miss Rúben’s party.” Jack says, opening the door and leaving, like if you’re nothing to him.

Of course, the Portuguese you can’t stand.

(…)

The sound of the alarm wakes you up, it’s early in the morning but, surprisingly, you’re very much happier to be up at this time. After a quick shower, trying to shake off yesterday’s worries, you’re headed over to the kitchen pouring yourself a cup of coffee and a slice of bread, the crunch offers a small comfort.

After finishing, you’re ready to go to work.

You walk down the hallway, hitting the button of the elevator and waiting for the doors to slide open, the weather is chilly in Manchester and a cold breeze is felt as soon as you’re outside the building.

At work, you settle into your desk, and Lily, your best friend, sits down next to you.

“Hey, you.” she smiles, giving you a side hug.

“Hey, Lils.” you try to sound happy, but she knows you too well.

“Ok, you’re gonna tell me what happened.” she turns her chair to you, with her arms crossed and, clearly, worried.

“It’s nothing… We had an argument because I was late, you know how it goes.” you don’t wanna look at Lily and, suddenly, the post-it in front of you looks more interesting.

“Y/N, you deserve way better than this.” Lily reaches and squeezes your arm, but the pain expression on your face makes the woman open her mouth in disbelief. “H-He hurted you.”

“Lily, it’s ok.” you try to explain but she is still in shock.

“This is not right, Y/N!“ she practically screams, but you cover her mouth.

“Yes, but.” you sigh. “Jake cares about me and, sometimes, he just gets jealous, that’s all.” you try to stupidly explain the situation to her.

“Jealousy isn’t love. You deserve someone who makes you feel safe, not scared.” she’s brutally honest, making you feel sick to your stomach. “You can’t ignore what’s happening, Y/N. A bruise, then what? A punch?”

“What if he changes? Maybe if we talk…” you try to convince yourself, but even with such weak self-esteem, it’s hard to believe it’s going to happen.

“I get that, but imagine how much easier life could be without the worry and fear.” she holds your hand. “Please, promise you’ll think about it.”

“Ok.” you nod, but still vulnerable.

(…)

“This place is fun. I’m glad we came out tonight.” You feel a wave of happiness wash over you. It’s been ages since Jake invited you out, and you’ve missed those carefree nights together.

“Yeah, but you could’ve dressed better. People talk, Y/N. Especially when I’ve got influence.”

Jake’s words cut deeper than you’d like to admit. He’s a manager for some of Manchester United’s players, and his status means a lot. He’s right; people do notice, and his reputation hinges on appearances. But, you don’t say anything. You can’t. You’ve learned that challenging him only leads to more anger, and the last thing you want is to set him off. So, you force a smile, trying to brush it off, even though you feel smaller and more exposed than ever.

Just as you’re trying to ignore Jake’s comment, the door swings open, and a group of men walks in. You don’t quite recognize, but Jake’s face lights up at the sight of them.

“Mate, over here!” Jake calls out, waving at them. He’s suddenly in a great mood, like he forgot all about what just happened. “Thought I’d bring some friends to liven things up,” he says, glancing at you. “Hope you don’t mind.” Jake smirks, clearly enjoying himself.

As the night drags on, you can’t shake the feeling of dread in your stomach. Jake’s mood shifts with every drink and his laughter grows louder, more reckless. The playful comments quickly turn into harsh ones, all of them about you.

“Seriously, Y/N, why can’t you just relax?” he snaps, slurring his words slightly. “You’re such a buzzkill.”

You try to laugh it off, but it feels forced. Rúben and Bernardo, one of his teammates for Portugal, exchange awkward glances, unsure how to react as Jake continues to let his anger spill out. Every time he raises his glass, you brace yourself for another cutting remark. You wish you could disappear, wishing for a way out of this situation. As Jake’s mood darkens, so does the atmosphere, and you can’t help but feel trapped, the night spiraling into an awful reminder of what you hoped would be a fun evening.

“Jake, please. This is enough, let’s just go home.” you grab his arm, trying to make him listen to you.

“Why? So you can keep complaining? You’re ruining my night!” he snaps, pulling away from you. “You’re always dramatic.”

You feel the weight of his words, but you push through. “I’m not being dramatic, I just want to leave. Please.” Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you manage to pull him toward the exit.

As you step outside, he stops suddenly, anger on his face. “You’re a whore, Y/N. Practically throwing yourself at them. Thought I didn’t notice, right?” Jake laughs.

Rúben, who has been watching from a distance, steps in without hesitation.

“That’s enough.” he says, positioning himself protectively in front of you. “You need to back off. Now.”

Now, Jake shifts toward Rúben. “What did you just say to me, Diaz?”

“I won’t tell you again, I’m sick of your ridiculous games.” Rúben’s voice is steady, but there’s an edge of intensity.

Jake’s expression shifts, confusion mixed with anger as he realizes Rúben isn’t backing down. “You think you can just step in like this?” he mocks, but Rúben doesn’t flinch.

Rúben meets Jake’s gaze steadily. “Yeah, I do. Someone has to stand up for her when you won’t.”

“You’re just trying to play the hero. You have no idea what’s going on between us.” Jake says.

“I know enough.” Rúben shoots back. “I’ve seen how you treat her. It’s not right.”

Jake scoffs, his anger bubbling. “It’s been three years and she didn’t leave, maybe she likes how I treat her.”

“Does she?” Rúben challenges, his voice firm.

“I don’t.” it’s the first time you’re speaking, definitely holding back tears, but finally, standing up for yourself. “I’ve put up with it because I thought it would get better, but it hasn’t. I deserve to be treated with respect, with love. You’ll never give me these things, you’re imature, selfish and manipulative.”

Jake’s eyes widen in disbelief, anger mixed with a hint of fear. “You really think you can just walk away from this?”

You meet Jake’s gaze, unwavering. “Yes, I do. I’m tired of feeling trapped.”

“Great. You can walk home, then.” he laughs, turning his back and going inside the bar. Anything is better than having to look at his face, you say to yourself.

“I’ll give you a ride home, if that’s okay with you.” Rúben offers, breaking the silence. You hesitate, the offer surprising you. After all, Rúben and his friends has never been anything but good manners with you. Why’d he do that?

“I’m not sure, I…” you say, crossing your arms to ward off the cold.

He shrugs, a slight smile playing on his lips. “People can change. Or maybe… I just see things differently now.”

After a moment’s pause, you nod. “Okay, I’ll take you up on that.”

As you climb into the car, the interior feels comfortable and warm. But, the air is thick with an unspoken tension, both of you processing what just happened. Rúben starts the engine and you look out the window, feeling a mix of gratitude and confusion. The ride feels both long and short, your mind racing with words you want to say. You think about how Rúben stood up for you, how different this moment feels compared to how he was with you all these years, he’d always shrugged you off, making you feel invisible even when you’ve tried to be nice. Now, he’s nothing compared to the past and it’s surprisingly good to see this new side of him.

As you approach your building, the tension in the air becomes palpable. You can feel the weight of the moment, the unsaid gratitude hanging between you. Finally, as he pulls up to the curb, you take a deep breath.

“Thank you.” you whisper, feeling a newfound sense of safety with him. Rúben gives you a reassuring smile.

“Look, I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you in the past. You didn’t deserve that.”

You blink, taken aback by his honesty. “It’s okay, I guess. I just wish things had been different. Leaving Jake was the best decision I’ve made. Ever.” you laugh it off.

“If it makes you feel better, he’ll probably lose his job too. We didn’t know that he treated you that bad, Y/N. He actually used to say horrible things about you.” Rúben’s expression turns upset as he speaks. “I wish I had known what was really going on.” He shakes his head, probably regretting his decision in the past.

You can feel the weight of his words, and for the first time, you see a side of him that’s genuinely compassionate.

“It’s hard to believe anyone saw it,” you reply, nervously. “I kept hoping he’d change, that things would get better. But hearing you say that… it helps, in a way.“ you try to smile, even if it’s just a little bit.

Rúben’s expression softens, but there’s a flicker of something deeper in his eyes. “You’re better off without him, Y/N. You deserve someone who lifts you up, not tears you down. Don’t forget that.”

“Thank you, Rúben. That really means a lot.” you feel your cheeks get warm.

As he prepares to leave, a part of you wishes he wouldn’t. “Take care of yourself. I’ll see you around,” he says, his voice low and with a side smile.

Making the decision to leave Jake feels like breath of fresh air. For the first time, in a long time, you envision a future filled with possibilities: new friendships, new experiences, and maybe even a deeper connection with someone who genuinely cares. Going towards your building, you feel lighter, yet, there’s a flicker of anticipation in your chest. You’re ready to embrace whatever comes next, and the thought of Rúben lingers in your mind, hinting at a future that might be more exciting than you ever expected.

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading in jp 10 - i think vash is stressed + wolfwood's debut

a continuation of a prev post i made about vash switching his pronouns as of chapter 18. personal interpretation and all that.

in that post i highlighted a very surface concept of hierarchy with the pronouns thing.

but to re-summarize what i think im seeing so far: when Vash uses Boku he's keeping a low profile or handing off the flow of the situation to another party, and when he uses Ore he's trying to assert some level of control over the situation. (with more ill get into later)

stranger scenario^

example is the sand steamer arc. there with strangers its Boku. even with kaite during their initial meeting! but once BDN appears and theyre in the face of a dangerous, out of control situation he switches to Ore. for the rest of that arc, it's Ore down all the way.

i couldnt find any instances of him using either Boku or Ore in the geoplant & family legacy arc. assuming the characterization here is centered around the idea of control, and that he uses Boku with strangers, its probably still pre Legato intro behavior.

...yeah about legato.

once Legato appears the narrative quickly goes into Oh Shit mode. theres an ultimate antagonist. antagonist is about to unleash hell on not just Vash, but the already struggling humans on a hostile planet. give them one final nail in the coffin. Vash switches to Ore as we are shown how dangerous and unhinged this yet unrevealed person is in full.

except this part in the flashback/reflection, where we have Vash monologuing in the present time as if he's speaking to Rem:

hes speaking without kanjis, implying hes speaking like a child in his mind. vash uses Boku here to imply that hes lost/unsure/not in control, so that aspect isnt going anywhere. its rather being now hidden under new layers thats being revealed, and building ever up.

that layer, i think, being stress

fast forward and more destruction happens, monev the gale appears, legato does legato things, and the insurance girls pay Vash a visit.

and here i think is something of a budding relationship starting to happen

another aspect of the Ore pronoun is that its more than fine to use within the context of friends. bc theres no real higher or lower standings existing in a friendly context, so to use Ore can be a sign of familiarity or closeness.

and in the context of that scene it is very close to that since the girls are seeing Vash half naked with histories scarred into his flesh. hes open, hes vulnerable, the girls are seeing vash as vash and not The Stampede. (ofc he doesnt tell them straight about his history, the loner's lips are pretty tight on that)

but also again, he's stressed. and then it gets worse when Monev is revealed to be killed anyway after having Vash spare his life.

its probably at this point where the situation is so out of control that he points his gun towards Legato and oop. more Ore. and the lines are so aggressive here, you can tell Vash is out of it.

then chapter 18, or, vol 2 ch 6. vash sits in a bus with the insurance girls and is looking very out of it as noted by milly. the narrative lets us peek into his head and he's thinking about Legato.

and while theres a moment of comedic lightness with him getting freaked out by how freaky legato can be, legato gets more scenes fleshing out how messed up and contradictory he can be. the narrative wants us to know its all serious business going foward.

so my reading of all these: when the situation is so messed up and out of control, Vash uses Ore possibly as 2 things. 1) a stress response, and 2) to wrestle some semblance of control here. bc if hes indeed so pacifistic that he has no true will to bite, he'd probably use Boku a whole lot more. but he isnt doing that.

(it does make me wonder about tristamp vash... nai's dynamic there is different and in this one he says hes actually scared of his brother. the themes of abuse again >_> studio orange can i eat u)

and then wolfwood appears. yay. unfortunately, i dont have a concrete answer of how permanent the Ore is still at this point, since vash actually doesnt use either until a little after meeting wolfwood.

i can only say that these two's meeting in the manga is less cheery than in the 98 anime, bc vash here is reluctant to shake hands with the man with the kansai ben.

possibly bc he doesnt trust him... yet. (vash here seems to be portrayed as a loner, so it probably tracks with that.)

its only after wolfwood giving what little of his money to 2 raggedly looking kids that vash has this moment of connection with wolfwood. so far vash is shown to be good with kids and even likes them. and wolfwood is the same!

this scene below gets talked about a lot from what ive been seeing online. my extra take: interestingly this reads like wolfwood blasted a lot of vash's stress away even for a moment.

wolfwood then expresses that he sees through vash's empty smile, quite brashly climbing over one of the (possibly many) walls vash has.

all of this leads into the first proper connection between the two. vash's first pronoun usage towards wolfwood is a very friendly Ore.

yay. what a scene.

(the boku thing pops up later in the trimax Shoot Me scene between the two of them. their dynamic is so fun and its not even close to over yet. feels like nightow must have been going wheeee when hes drawing all of these...)

[fir3ylolol]

hi fir3y :3333 can we have more johnny cage x camera stuff (anything related, nothing specific; cameras in house, recording w phone etc) w him having a long time crush for y/n 😁 kind of like how you did w smile! you're on camera (i cant remember if i sent this if i already did im sorry 😥😥)

dazed and confused

pairing: Johnny Cage x Reader

summary: it's been a while since you've seen your good friend johnny. but what happens when long-time crush mixes with weed?

tw: vaginal sex, vaginal penetration, oral sex, blowjob, eating out, cunnilingus, long-time crush, weed usage, intoxicated sex, loss of inhibitions, praise, filmed, sex tape, cumming inside, cum eating, putting on a show, whimpering men heheheh, afab!reader, gn reader

a/n: YAYYY finally another post!! its been forever. this was requested by @keiiikomegumi. gotta love men who fall hard and fuck desperately O.O also i think this is the longest fic other than we want you! ive ever written lol

word count: 2.65 k

Ao3

It’s been about 3 weeks since you last saw Johnny, which kinda sucks. He’s always a lot of fun, and you’ve been really stressed lately. So when you get his text reading, “come over 4 dinner, we can chill 0.o”, you quickly respond, “see u thennn”. You leave shortly afterward, excited to finally relax. You roll into his driveway after about 30 minutes of driving, seeing Johnny’s shadowed figure standing in the doorway. You hop out excitedly, walking over and capturing him in a tight hug. He laughs, hugging you back just as tight. “Hey! I’ve missed you, it’s been wayyyy too long. Come in, I’ve already got some food ready.” You walk in, drinking in the familiar sight of his home. You see the table set, two spots right next to each other, with a suspicious look on his face.

“So what do you have in store for me?” You sit down, watching as he disappears into the kitchen. “Well, I know you’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, and so have I. So…” He walks out, a large silver plate covered with a cloche. “I figured we deserved a treat,” he says with a smirk, lifting it and revealing two brownies. Realization hits you hard. You see, this is California, and if there’s any pastime Californians love, it’s getting high. Johnny is no different; in fact, he likes edibles more, since he says smoking will “damage his star-quality voice and flawless skin.” But he lives a stressful life, and he needs a break just as much as you. So seeing two, delicious-looking brownies on separate plates, you know exactly why you were invited. And you nearly cry.

“Johnny…” you smile up at him, “thank you. So much.” His eyes light up, placing the plates down for you two as he sits down next to you. “Yay, I knew you would be happy! Ok, I’ve got plenty of snacks in the fridge and cold ass water, so we’re set.” He picks his brownie up, and you follow, clinking them together like glasses before taking a bite. It’s rich, fudgy, and absolutely one of the best brownies you’ve ever had. With a mouthful of food, you try to speak, “Schit manm, ‘his is schoo good.” He laughs at you, finishing his bite before speaking, “It’s been barely a month and you’ve forgotten your manners?” You smack him lightly, before standing up and getting a glass of water, downing the whole thing. He follows you, giving you a big hug from behind. He’s rocking back and forth, face buried in your neck. He’s always been more touchy with you than his other friends, but you don’t mind. He’s warm and gentle and always smells fancy. But you laugh, rocking with him. “The room’s already spinning, oooooh.” He lifts you slightly, walking through the kitchen. “You’re so high, oh noooo!” He set you down, laughing still. “You’re so much fun, I missed you.”

You feel a slight twinge in your heart, the words must mean more to you than it does to him. You’ve been a little glad not to see him honestly, but only because your feelings for him have gotten that intense. A break was just what you needed, but now? When you’re going to be wasted and he’s just so nice and so close? You might break. But for now, you appear cool laughing as well before managing to say, “I missed you too” without seeming suspicious. And you start to fall into the same routine as usual, he leads you to the couch to chill together and watch something fun. He used to go to the cinema room, but once he got too high, watched Rambo on the big screen, and had a panic attack. Plus, you can’t cuddle in there, and he can’t stand for that, loudly declaring that he’ll rip the chairs out every time you two go in there. But he never does. You two end up talking about the weeks you didn’t see him. He’s been working on a new film, but won’t reveal any details other than it’s “based on a super true story”. And he laments how hard you’ve been working, trying to convince you again, “You should just quit and hang with me all the time. It would be awesome.” But alas, you turn him down again, as tempting as it is.

Before you know it, it’s been almost two hours, and you’re definitely feeling it more, the buzzing in your brain is a little louder, and Johnny’s touch gives you more goosebumps. But he leans back suddenly, looking you up and down. “Wait, I just realized, I can’t remember the last time you told me one of your famous bad date stories. What’s going on?” You fluster at his words, so direct and to the point that you can’t think for a second. You finally manage to speak again, your tongue feeling a little too heavy, “I’ve just been busy, man.” He scrunches up his face, thinking deeply. “When was the last time you got some? You know…” He nudges you, eyebrows raised suggestively. You take an embarrassingly long pause before speaking again. “...a year.” 

He leans forward, directly in front of your face. “A year?! How are you even alive??” You push him as playfully as you can, completely flustered by the whole thing. “Quit it, it’s not funny!” He sighs dramatically, splayed out across the couch. “So what’s up? Someone catch your eye or something?” You pause again, trying not to look at him, but your mouth betrays you. “Yeah, maybe. But it’s fine, he doesn’t like me like that.” He scoffs, head still tipped back, “What an idiot. You’re awesome. He’s really lucky I don’t just snatch you away for myself.” His whole body freezes as if he said something he didn’t mean to. You look at him, eyes wide and muscles tense. “W…what?” You ask tentatively. But he stands up, walking away while waving his arms around, “Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it.” But you can see the tips of his ears are bright red, and he’s tapping his foot on the ground, something he only does when nervous. You stand up and walk over, staying behind him. “Johnny, it’s something. Just tell me, it’ll be ok.” He takes a deep breath before speaking, still turned away from you. “I said he was lucky I didn’t take you for myself. I didn’t mean to say it, but honestly, it’s true. I mean, what kind of idiot doesn’t like the most stunning person alive? I just…I said too much, and I didn’t want to weird you out because you’re such a great friend and…” He’s babbling on, saying way too much and not making a ton of sense.

But you grab his hand lightly, which causes him to turn around. His eyes are watery, his cheeks and the tip of his nose are red, and his mouth is scrunched up in a frown. You can’t help but smile at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “Do you like me, Johnny?” He nods like a child, free hand coming up to wipe his eyes. “I like you too,” you say with a smile, no longer nervous or guilty of your feelings. He sniffles, looking at you with his wide brown eyes, “Really? You do?” As you nod, he sort of snaps back to usual, but not in a performative way, in a happy way. “Well of course you do! Who could resist all this?” He smiles before pulling you into a tight hug. “Thank you,” he whispers in your ear before he pulls away. But not fully, as you two lock eyes, and the air grows thick again. You swallow hard, eyes darting across his face nervously. He cups your face with his left hand, and slowly leans in, pressing his lips to yours. It’s exactly like him, warm and gentle, and it makes you dizzy. In fact, you feel your knees buckle slightly, which he laughs at into the kiss. As he pulls away to breathe again, you can’t help but feel hungry for more. You’ve only gotten a taste of what you’ve wanted for so long, and it’s very appetizing.

Johnny quickly pulls you back to the couch, barely able to think before you find yourself on his lap, hands wandering around your back, eyes locked onto yours. His touch is even more intoxicating than normal, with heavy breathing and racing hearts shared between you two. One hand reaches your neck, pulling you back in. But he’s not as gentle this time, like he’s trying to devour you whole. His other hand is on your hip, guiding you to grind against him slowly. Your hands wrap around his neck loosely. He groans into your mouth, squeezing tighter. You feel his tongue in your mouth, desperate for more of you, more than there is. You can feel yourself growing wetter, so high that your previous inhibitions are gone. Everything is happening so fast, and you’re starting to feel desperate.

He finally breaks away, panting heavily, before looking at you needily. And with how pretty his flushed face is and how badly he wants you, you can’t help but slide down to the floor between his legs. His pupils are blown out, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. He tries desperately to pull his pants down quickly, struggling slightly.  But he finally frees himself, cock bouncing out as the angry red tip leaks out. He’s embarrassed, turning his head away slightly, but keeping his eyes locked on you. You have no time to tease, absolutely hungry for him, for this. You take him in your mouth, getting most of the way down before you stop, looking up at him sweetly. He gasps, eyes wide and hands clutching at the couch cushions. You start to move, swirling your tongue around him as you keep a steady pace. His eyelids are fluttering, and very quickly he darts his hands out to grab your face lightly, bringing you up to face him. “C-can I film you? I just…I’ve wanted this for so long and you just look so pretty and I just…I don’t want to forget this, any detail of this.” 

You nod lazily, a smile spreading across your lips as you watch him scramble for his phone. He holds it up, hands shaking as he starts filming. You decide to put on a show for him, looking up through your lashes as you go down again, able to get almost all the way down, gagging slightly. He white knuckles the phone, staring at you intensely. His other hand comes up, grabbing your hair in one hand. His voice rasps out, “Wanna see that face, all of it. God, you’re so good at this. Fuck…” He sighs as you reach your hand out, starting to stroke him as you lean your head down, licking at his balls. He jumps slightly, but the most lovely whine escapes his lips, so you continue, trying to overwhelm him with pleasure. And overwhelm him you do, as he starts squirming back and forth at the intensity of it all, more heady whines. He finally remembers to hold the camera steady, trying to still himself. But as you go down again, rapid and sloppy moves, eyes watering as you look up again, his grasp on your hair tightens. He cries out as he cums, shuddering as you keep going, swallowing it all. You pull off with a pant, looking into the camera and sticking out your tongue to show what you did. He’s breathing hard, letting go of your hair and going slightly slack on the couch. But he tugs at your shirt, pulling it over your head. Even fucked out, he wants more.

You stand up, half-naked, and he tries his hardest to get your pants off too. But his hands are too shaky, and he’s trying to keep his grip on the camera. So you step back and slowly peel them off for him, and you can see his cock twitch slightly at the sight of you. You climb back on top of him, kissing him gently. But he leans to the side, propping the phone against the arm of the couch, and flips to the front camera. He shuffles down a little, leaning slightly to pull his pants down further as you pull his shirt off, wanting to feel his warm skin against yours. He kisses your cheek, and down your neck, reveling in the way you arch your back at the feeling. He whispers out shakily, “You ready? Gonna put a show on for me?” You nod, head dizzy again, as he rubs himself against you, audibly groaning at the feeling. He has no time to waste, sinking into you with a heady whimper. You gasp, taking a second to adjust to him, feeling his hands cling to your hips.

But it’s not long before he’s bucking up into you, using his grip on you for leverage. He’s bit down on your shoulder, whimpers slipping out. Your arms are behind his neck, clinging to him like your life depended on it. You feel him let go, raspy whispers in your ear, “You’re so hot, shit, so tight around me. You like putting on a show for me? Yeah?” You nod, moans pushed out at the force he’s moving now. His voice is shaking more now, but he can’t stop talking, “Shit, I don’t know if it’s the weed talking or what, but you’re so fucking good. Can’t believe I didn’t tell you sooner-” He’s cut off, a whimper as he manages to push deeper, completely enveloped in you. He’s losing his mind, hands wrap around your back for more leverage. But it’s not long before he’s cumming again, a whine as he pushes you down as far as he can. He’s trembling more, heavy pants in your ear. But finally, he’s lifting you and setting you down on the couch. Both of you are breathing heavily, trying to calm down after everything. 

That is until he grabs the phone and puts it in your hands. Confused, you look at him, but suddenly, he’s between your thighs, kneeling on the ground. “Can’t leave you wanting, especially after all that.” He dives in, with no sense of patience, as he sucks at your throbbing clit. His fingers pump inside you, your wetness mixing with his cum. You keep the camera on his face, legs pushed apart as you flinch at your sensitivity. He’s looking up at you, sweet eyes locked on you. He lets go slightly, mumbling into you, “Good job, baby, you’re doing such a good job.” You’re moaning, high-pitched, and slipping from your lips. He’s whining into your sopping cunt, vibrations against your clit causing more jumps. But you cling to him, eyes screwed shut as you cum hard, feeling his tongue lapping everything up with fervor. He finally separates from you, sitting down on the couch with an exhale.

He takes the phone, stopping the recording as he puts his arm around you. “I’ll save those for later,” he says, making you giggle slightly, but you’re quite tired. “We should get high more often, huh?” You snuggle into him, enjoying the feeling of his heartbeat under your ear. “Maybe. But hey, those videos better not get leaked or anything.” Your words cause him to whine out, slightly annoyed. “Come on, you know me! I would never. Besides…it would make too many people jealous, you know? Such a pretty thing like you, all for myself.” You laugh again before looking up at him, sleepy but happy eyes. “You’re stuck with me now, by the way.” He hugs you tight, squeezing you with a wide smile on his face. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[grays-matter]

okay buckle up little gay monsterfuckers in my phone

MY THOUGHTS / A REVIEW OF VENOM 3: THE LAST DANCE. it only took the whole weekend to gather my thoughts. sheesh. I tried really hard to be coherent and not have any typos but they're probably inevitable.

(feel free to add on / build off this post if you want I WANT TO YAP)

First, the spoiler free portion:

Solid 5.9/10, A good movie, not great for the non-comics fan and also not good for the people ONLY there for the symbrock. This is about their conflicts. If you wanted a queer romance that isn't angst and constant separation and generally a victim of bad writing, this is not the character or movie for you. They're fucked up little guys and that's pretty well conveyed.

The movie doesn't deserve the horrendous tomatometer score it has right now, HOWEVER, it was not as good as the first two. It made some REALLY odd character choices but none that I'm entirely like, furious over although they peeve me slightly. It feels like a plot set up for some sort of spin off or, more than likely, a setup for Spider-Man 4 (elaboration below the cut, and spoilers, duh).

I go into the movie viewing it as just another universe, another set of stories for the character so I can push down the nerd in my brain going "ThAt'S nOt CoMiC aCcUrAtE!!" (he got out anyway sadly)

Good thing I'm not the average fan and run a blog where I yap about Venom!

Extremely Heavy Spoilers for Venom The Last Dance below the cut!!

I'll try to keep this as chronological as I can but I'm more talking about individual characters.

Starting off with a bang, Knull with the voice of Andy Serkis was utterly terrifying, this is the only point I went HOLY SHIT to audibly. I'm surprised by the use of the xenophages but they were quite fun actually I loved those.

YAY YIPEE SAVE THE DOGS

Some of the plane scenes from the trailer were cut :(. This movie needed more of those slightly comedic elements. With the precedent of comedy that was set in Venom and LTBC, I felt like this could have taken itself less serious and still been good, violent and dark (more on that in Vegas).

The relationship between eddie and venom was kinda regressed this movie idk what happened it made me sad. I know they were mad at eachother. Also yeah yeah best friend line whatever this wasn't queerbait to me. They're messy as fuck but I can still be dissapointed without yelling queerbait.

The Travel Sequence besides meeting Martin and his family could have been a montage. (Yes, even you venom horse).

THE KID. THE KID GIVING EDDIE CHOCOLATE AND VENOM TELLING EDDIE HE'D BE A GOOD DAD. <- wrecked me. I'm looking at You Venom War... Let Eddie be a dad at all 2024... This is the gayest moment of the whole movie. And y'know the creation of man shot with eddies hand and venom's tendril.

The only comedy being the vegas segment felt overdone it should have just be peppered throughout the movie. Vegas still could have happened just been less overwhelming. The suit he wore should have been made of Venom instead :/

Dr Payne needed more setup for me to actually care I liked her alot I wish I had more of her in conext of the movie. They could just not make me care about her. Like what are they doing with that End reveal of Agony?? Trying to sell fortnite skins?

I could have jumped out of my seat and climbed the fucking walls with how Rex Strickland was used. WHy did they just turn him into a different character. He's supposed to be a walking symbiote from the Vietnam days of experimentation that absorbed the codex of his original host.

I mean maybe he was but he seemed a little shocked at all that symbiote info and yknow. He bleeds. And more importantly, where WAS HIS MUSTACHE. I liked the Ve'nam book and his intoduction (one of the few stories of KiB and AC that I liked) so I thought the use of him in the movie was just a very odd character choice but I was so excited to be like "I know that guy!" to be really mad about it.

also. My favorite character tag holds so true in this movie. cause that guy??? that guy rex was helping during the xenophage attack??? the guy who got his legs woodchippered off just above the knee? FLASH IS THAT YOU????

*shakes sony by the shoulders* Sony. Sony if you fuck up a Flash Thompson Agent Venom movie. SO HELP ME GOD. I think I'd drop dead of mortal embarrasment that that's my favorite little guy.

I wish Mulligan and Lasher lived longer. Having lasher with actually coherent dialogue was nice. And they looked really cool.

The ending...

Well. If you didn't watch the 2nd end credit scene I can see why your devastated. Also what was that capcut ass montage. Had me cringing cause what the fuck guys. All of our hope is in that silly little cockroach. and that symbiotes aren't weak to acid soooo V is fine.

Felt like agony should have shown up at the begining of the fight. Instead of like. the very end. Shes cool I like her and i think it's funny that they're Payne and Agony. But like I said before they just could not make me care.

The final battle with Hybrid showing up and the other unnamed symbiotes zipping around was really fun actually. The credits were so long cause of all the cgi artists on this movie. Also the venomized animals in the credits were hilarious. WHY PUT GRENDEL IN THERE THOUGH IF REX ISNT A SYMBIOTE???

Unanswered questions:

1. Mulligan was abandonded by his previous symbiote, which we now from the LTBC end credit scene was Toxin. Where is Toxin now?

2. Is Rex Strickland alive? We know he gets his acid burn on his face, will we see his return in another movie?

3. What happened to the glob of venom that got left behind in the mcu when Eddie dissapeared? because we know it happened in both universes. Did Bartender get it? Is Bartender the MCU's Eddie Brock? But as I've posted before Bartender is catholic and has reasons to hate spiderman.

4. Who owes Eddie in New York?

I'll add onto this once I see the movie again but these are my thoughts for now.

[snabeus]

pixane swap au ive been rotating in my mind recently

more info under the cut:

•borg industries started a few years earlier in this au, but didn’t really get huge until rebooted era. pixal was made a few years before the series starts

•zane and pixal are still made by julien and borg respectively, but instead of visiting zane, the previous em of ice visited pixal instead and gave her his powers

•due to her newly acquired ice powers and altered power source, pixal begins to get tired of her life as an assistant and gets scared of what borg would think if he knew she was gaining sentience. that + her newfound ability to control ice she decided to run away from borg industries and strike out on her own (her anxiety gets the best of her despite the fact that borg would be 100% ok with her making her own choices)

•pixal uses her cloaking device to disguise herself as a human, not wanting people to figure out she’s a nindroid in fear of what they would think

•something something wu finds her she joins the ninja s1 goes as normal with the ninja thinking pix is a bit weird but being good friends with her

•she gets damaged in battle and accidentally reveals to the ninja that she’s a nindroid, but they’re super chill about it and pixal realizes she doesn’t need to hide around her family and unlocks her true potential (yay!!!)

•for the rest of s1 post true potential she puts down her human disguise and is now comfortable w presenting her true self

•meanwhile zanes backstory is relatively the same, he sees julien die and gets his memory erased and kind of just wanders around a bit until he sees the falcon and tick tock happens and whatnot

•now understanding his past, he wants to get more answers so he goes to borg industries, the leading experts on robotics to try to get more answers about himself and how he works

•he meets cyrus borg and they become great friends as zane agrees to help out around the tower and in return zane has a home he can chill in

•borg gives him cool upgrades. for funsies

•rebooted era pixal goes back to borg industries and finds out that cyrus is like super happy to see that he technically has a daughter now and accepts her full heartedly

•pixal is the one to sacrifice herself at the end of rebooted (rip queen)

•uhhh i don’t really have an idea for what happens after rebooted yet but zane eventually becomes samurai x ofc but now he’s called samurai z. for funnies

ill probably expand on this more but ya!!!

[lemotmo]

So, I woke up and dove into the spoilers. I haven't see the episode yet, but if I'm reading this right, this is what happened on the Buck, Tommy and Eddie front:

+ Buck told Tommy that he is an ally during a date.

+ Eddie and Marisol crashed the date and Buck pretended to be very very straight.

+ Tommy walked away from the date over that statement.

+ No Eddie spying on them in the restaurant. 😪 I really wanted to see that. It would have been hilarious.

+ Buck casually tells Maddie that he checks out men's asses, which... I mean... have you seen Eddie's ass? It's canon now that Buck checked it out. Yay!

+ Buck (once again) only rambles about Eddie while coming out to Maddie. I mean 🤦‍♀️...

+ Maddie tearfully tells him that he isn't sure what he's feeling yet and that he'll tell Eddie when he has it figured out. Uhmmmm... Maddie knows???

+ Eddie's girlfriend used to be a nun and now the catholic guilt is keeping him from having sex and he's pent up with it?

+ Buck actually says that he can't help him with that.

+ Marisol (who still doesn't have a last name) is moving in waaaaay too soon.

+ Eddie talks to Bobby about the whole Marisol situation and Bobby gives him some cryptic advice. Bobby knows???

+ Buck finally tells Eddie about him dating Tommy and a beautiful friendship scene unfolds where they hug, Buck tells him that he can't stop thinking about Tommy and Eddie tells him to call up Tommy.

(Listen, if nothing else, the thing I love most about these two is their solid friendship.)

+ Eddie talks to Marisol and she doesn't move in after all.

+ Buck and Tommy meet for coffee and hold hands. He asks Tommy to Maddie's wedding as his date, which... 'No honey, this is a bad idea.' Talk about a highly pressurised second date.🤦‍♀️

+ So, at the end of the episode, Eddie doubles down on Marisol and Buck doubles down on Tomy. *sigh* I swear six seasons of this and I have a feeling that season 7 won't be different. Where is that 'It has been 84 years' when you need it.

+ Wedding shenanigans where Eddie and Buck drink copious amonts of alcohol, sing karaoke together and wake up together looking more dead then alive and they seemed to have misplaced Chimney. I mean... what?!?

+ Then both Ryan and Lou decide to destroy the fandom with their interviews: Ryan an Oliver read fanfic 👀, Ryan heavily insinuates that it isn't time for Buddie yet, Lou flat put reveals that it was suppose to be Eddie and Tommy... which what?!? Then they decided on Oliver??? Not sure why, but something fell through. Then Lou is all 'Tommy is an older experienced guy who can teach Buch the ropes, so that he will be primed for when he gets with Eddie and the fandom should be happy with that. It'll give Buddie a better fighting chance... if they happen, because they could not happen. I mean... sure Jan. Whoever released these two from PR jail, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. Thank you.

Aftermath of the episode:

+ Marisol is bones in episode 7.

+ Lots of people say that Bucktommy is cute, which is a fair and valid take. I'm still neutral about him, but I'll be sure to look out for that when I watch the episode, since it seems that Tommy is here to stay a little while longer.

+ Lots of people seem to be sure of Buddie being in the works because of this episode. I hope I'll share their confidence when I've watched the episode. I'm still rooting for Buddie endgame. I'll never give up on that.

So, that's it. That's what I've picked up from all your posts. Does it fit the actual episode? Let me know. I need aaaaall the spoilers before I watch.

[emerynn]

MAX 🥺🥺🥺

(double exposure spoilers under the cut)

I knew episode 5 was gonna be a nightmare sequence but i still ate that shit up what can i say it's fanservice and im the fan lol

genuinely did get a bit emotional at the end like okay im HAPPY FOR HER

post credits scene was wild?? Not sure how I feel about them just handing out super powers like halloween candy but...okay? and MAX CAULFIELD WILL RETURN HELLO ???? part of me is sceptical and part of me is like yay more max hehe (fanserive, fan, etc.) - either way, guess im gonna be insufferable for a while then whoops

'will you ever go back to arcadia bay' 'one day' 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺girl i'll cry

lowkey the journal entries were nerfed. i mean i dont really care but still.

amanda max flirting scenes gave me major flashbacks to my own lesbian situationship so 10/10 points for accuracy on that one

i really enjoyed all the characters ngl!! and safi was so good and so intriguing i love that they let her be morally dubious oooo

'our lady of the storm' iconic. shes my fucking GIRL.

okay but is safi creating the lis avengers. like what is her plan. im concerned

how many endings were there because i strongly suspect there might have just been one and if that's the case that's hilarious but also like, come on

they kinda baited me with the "two maxes" bit at that one point i was like YES time travel bullshittery and max being a bitch to her alternate self EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED FOR and then i figured out the twist like 10 seconds before it was revealed and i was like well thats cool but.....i just wanna see max bully herself is that too much to ask for.....

'text from: chloe' like okay my heart did skip a beat lbr

okay so did max actually kill safi or what because that was never clear. like i think the polaroids were from the original timeline and then max shoots safi in that timeline leading to timeline 2 which is OUR original timeline i.e. the dead timeline and then...the living one happens asw? or was it like a pre-emptive timeline split did max ever actually shoot safi? i mean someone had to right? maybe this will make sense in the morning. or on the wiki. who can say

knew there was gonna be darkroom shit in the nightmare sequence fuck yeah (lowkey wanted more but hey im just being greedy now)

another tiny criticism but the krampus party did not feel like a college party lol like the vortex club end of the world party felt intense it felt dramatic it had stakes - krampus i was like oh this is giving me dead freshers week vibes guys just animate in some more extras please i know you can do it

music was amazing ofc

man i had this whole theory going on where max died in the "living" timeline at the same point that safi died in the "dead" timeline and that was why there was no alternate version of herself and it was some safis trying to save max while max is trying to save safi thing - obviously very wrong but i still vibe with it

i just really like max okay <3

To form something of a coherent conclusion: Really solid game, with some great scenes (the end of chapter 2 and start of 3 were def the standouts to me) and (in my opinion at least) really really good development for max - she was so clearly the same max as the original game but also she's grown up and she's grown into herself and ahhh it made me so happy to see!

I found some of the twists more effective than others and I think there could have been more build up to the storm (like in the original lis you KNOW it's coming for so long and there's this feeling of dread throughout whereas it kind of felt like we rushed to get to it here), but overall i had a good time, i really enjoyed getting to know the characters, and most of all, i really enjoyed getting stupidly attached to Max Caulfield again <3

7/10 looking forward to going down the rabbit hole with this one and i guess we'll see where we go next...??

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.

[loxare]

This is niche. This is niche as hell. But Dead Boy Detectives/The World Ends With You crossover. I don't have plot, only an opener and v i b e s

Post Nico-being-alive, actually-reveal, or whatever's going on with her. Because Nico's cousins, Beat and Rhyme, are getting shipped off to London so Nico can be a good influence on them

(Neither of them need a good influence, they're both good kids. But the Bito parents don't seem to agree with me. Also Rhyme probably gets into hacking crimes, by which I mean she's been hacking away student debt or stealing CEO money or something)

(Yes, Nico, who basically dropped out of boarding school, """faked""" her death and moved to London to solve ghost crimes with ghosts is a good influence. The Bito parents are mean/delusional)

Nico is so sad because while her cousins are here, she won't be able to solve ghost crimes with her ghost friends. Happy to see her cousins, of course, it's been a few years, but. ghost crimes.

And then Beat walks in and, after giving Nico a big hug and complimenting her hair, is just "who's these dudes? 'Sup?"

(he learned English from hip hop and skater vids so yeah he still talks like that, it's great)

and Rhyme is all "oh are there dead people here?"

and Nico is all "yay! I can still solve ghost crimes with my ghost friends!"

and Edwin is all "I apologize, what? How can he see us?"

(Beat can see them because he did the Game twice, once while he was alive. Rhyme still can't see dead people because she doesn't remember anything of her time in the first Game, and didn't play the second. But probably something happens and Rhyme, already primed to see ghosts and things because of the Game, can now see ghosts and things)

Beat and Rhyme help Crystal figure out how she can be true to herself, regardless of her parents' expectations of her. They have lots of practice at that by this point

Beat being all blushy about his boyfriend back home helps to normalize gay relationships for Edwin, who could use a gay role model (Cat King doesn't count)

Rhyme takes down the school Charles and Edwin went to by forwarding a list of all the kids who have died there (and were covered up by old money hush money) to the local papers and governments

and then Beat and Charles burn it down with molotovs

Nico gets to come out of her shell even more as she shows her cousins around London

I have a very strong image of the kids facing down a huge supernatural threat and they're out of weapons and Charles' bag is on the other side of the room or something and Beat is just "hey, can you lend me one of your pins?" and then Charles is like "???" but gives him one of his ska pins and then Beat summons a huge fuckin soundwave that disintigrates the thing

Rhyme learns some magic from Edwin and uses it back home to fuck with the Games even more. If her brother goes missing again, so help her, she will find and torch Joshua's whole house

I just need Beat and Charles to be wholesome, angry but very very kind punks together. Charles learns to skateboard. Beat learns how to make a molotov and swing a baseball bat to devastating effect. They swap mixed cds

[annakie]

FIXING THE HOUSE: PART TWELVE - We Can Make It on the Outside

Part One: I Do Not, In Fact, Have the Power

Part Two: Let’s Spend Lots of Money!

Part Three: All These Things That I’ve Done

Part Four: I Really Want to Stay At My House

A little interlude.

Part Five: Power Down

Part Six: You Will Leave Some Paint

Part Seven: Backwards to go Forwards

Part Eight: Master of Bathrooms

Part Nine: Within a Room, Somewhere

Part Ten: Rooms With No View

Part 11: Big Bang Room Part A and also Part B!

Hi, I know it's been like a week and a half but I was damn busy. I went to Minnesota and saw my buddies @ahab99 and @gloriousclio for a long weekend and it was fantastic! And then just generally busy since I got home, doing lots of projects for home and other personal life reasons. But there's still two posts to go after this one, so let's actually finish this!

Today we're going to talk about the garage and I think also just like, outside in general? And we'll leave the two biggest reveals for last.

Let's leave the living room and first head into the garage!

Look, the garage is not that exciting. The most exciting thing tbh was the fact that I got it like, halfway cleaned out back in July.

It's been too damn hot, YES EVEN IN OCTOBER to really finish the job after I, tbh, worked too hard on it in July, but I'm still glad I did that because of how bad it needed it, but we covered that already.

So I said this before but I made enough space to easily walk around, I put up some metal shelving for more storage/organization, and did some general tidying, so hey you can walk through it now.

There's a significant amount of stuff sitting in it that I'm waiting for a friend of mine to come get, idk when that's going to happen but I hope soon. Like a loveseat, a vacuum cleaner, a small desk etc. When those things are out, it'll be even better.

There's also several bags of clothes that need to go get donated and one bag of fandom-related shirts I was going to sell cheap here on tumblr maybe if I ever get around to it.

So one big improvement was just the fact that the drywall was starting to get real iffy. Some of it was straight up threatening to fall down. So that's fixed. I do not care that the new drywall is blue. It's a garage, I'll deal with it later, maybe. Also hey, shelving! Still messier than I want it to be. At least all that crap isn't on the floor anymore.

Also, no pic for this but apparently one of the beams across the ceiling in the garage was either loose or had come completely off the joist, maybe during the re-roofing? Anyway, Arturo fixed that, too.

So yeah, the workbench is still messy BUT.. remember way, WAY BACK in Part Two when I had no internet one night because the plug for this internet box was on the ceiling over my garage and it'd come loose, but I couldn't plug it back in because it was right over my car, which was blocked in by a dumpster?

Yeah, well, see, that won't be a problem again. Yay, I have power next to the workbench! A brand new outlet.

Crazy that there wasn't one there before. The only actual outlet nearby was against the back wall, pretty far away. And that outlet was SCARY. Very loose, felt really unsafe. It's been rewired and looks good now, too.

The most noticable improvement was this...

OK, see? Still TUFF there. It's actually a little better now. BUT... the windows! You can see through them! They don't have paint smeared on them! None of them have been shot through with a BB gun!

Look I love the kids who live across the street (and there are ALWAYS kids in that house, the kids who were kids when I moved in 21 years ago now have their own children, and there are always other kids there.) But occasionally they cause mischief and at SOME point someone shot a BB through my window and also into the siding a bit. I don't have any proof who did it or honestly exactly when, so I never confronted them, but it irked me for the last 2 or 3 years when it was there.

They were also just original to the house, and needed replacing. So now they've been replaced and look nice!

OK, enough of the dirty, stinky garage, at least until it gets actually cleaned out more.

-----

THE FRONT EXTERIOR!

The picture at the top of this post was the last picture I had from "Before" and that was taken day one of roof work back in late June or early July. The old roof, old gutters, old windows... etc. Just old and tired looking. You can see huge cracks in the driveway.

TBH it was starting to just look run down. Other problems were like, the garage door needed painting, honestly everything except the poles needed painting and that's only because they'd gotten so bad a couple of years ago that I had asked my lawn guy do it.

Obviously most of the things that improved the interior along that wall improved the exterior, like the windows and door.

All of the black trim along the fake shutters and next to the door got a fresh coat of black paint. The windows got touched up. I thought about replacing the light fixture but it's only like 10 years old so I didn't.

TBH the brick and cement could use a power wash, I need to talk to my neighbor's son about that since he does power washing. The new door especially looks so pretty. It also needed to be swept in that pic, it has since been, and the bushes trimmed.

My neighbor Veronica keeps reminding me that the bushes out front are too high, and she's right. I talked to my lawn guy about it and we decided to cut them way down in the spring when they'll start to grow back again.

Another improvement outside is security. I have a door lock camera, another camera you can't see in these pictures covering the front porch. There's a motion sensor spotlight camera over the driveway. And more stuff you'll see.

See? Camera.

New windows! Painted garage door!

The plan had been originally to power wash the driveway here. But there were those two HUGE cracks that were a problem. We filled them in with caulk(?) and cement but then you got... well, what's there. Also looked real bad.

Arturo ended up with a couple of extra bags of cement from another project. So he ended up putting a new entire layer of cement over the driveway.

He said it won't last forever, probably in the next couple of years we'll need to do a new driveway in order for it to look good, but by the time we got to this, the money was really starting to run dry.

So here's the front of the house now! It's so much better! Still has a little ways to go, but definitely not in the running for the shame of the block anymore.

Couple of other small things happened, including me washing the glass in my little lamppost, and spending $34 on ONE replacement pane that had broken long ago but it now looks fresh and whole.

There's also now a little sign you can kind of see on the door in a pleasant script that says "NO SOLICITING! Family, friends and Neighbors welcome!" I'm not sure if it's actually working or if people are just skipping my house now that it's clear I DON'T need new windows, but I haven't had any randos knock in a month or two since it went up.

---

Had Arturo make a small improvement to my gates -- there were just BIG gaps between the doors and the walls. Like you could pretty easily see my entire backyard if you wanted to peek in at either door.

So he bought and installed a border around both doors of the same cedar wood, and I had saved a quarter bucket of the stain from Joel so it got painted. I also put locks on the gates because the locks the gates came with seemed pretty easy to open from the outside with like, a coat hanger. Now... not possible.

The sidewalk is swept and most of that junk is gone now, though I'm still waiting on my friend to come get the extra granite that he requested Arturo bring for him. STOP CLUTTERING UP MY HOUSE!! :D

But tbh, I don't have the funds and haven't had the time to pretty up the sides of the yard yet.

BUT... big improvements have been made on the patio!

---

You may recall that the patio was in various states of looking pretty much like this all summer.

Eventually, as we finished up projects, the patio started getting a little cleaner and a little cleaner, combined with Monday or Tuesday Morning cleanups.

Hey, an empty, but ugly, patio floor! You may recall the patio ceiling got painted and the ceiling fan went up very early.

What's this? It's just ONE color instead of three or four worn through colors? I love it!! A nice green, which, again, was a darker shade on the same card as the ceiling color. I'm probably going to need to do yearly touchups but I have the can of paint for that for at least the next year or so. Believe it or not, these are not the same greens as in the dining room, nor the master bath, or the k-- wait we'll get to that. Just a lot of shades of green in the house, all different!

The patio furniture I think I mentioned at some other point got painted from stained red to the same color as the patio ceiling. I bought new grey cushions that look fantastic with them.

I also had taken the rug that had been under my computer desk the last couple of years and washed it off in the backyard, let it dry, then rolled it up and put it in the corner of the patio and forgot about it for a month or two.

When I was finishing the final cleanout of the patio for the painting I had an idea of what to do with it!

I also, back when all this started, had bought an adirondack chair. I wanted a nice lounger to relax on in my backyard, even though I had four perfectly good matching chairs already. But I wanted to lounge. I bought it in like... June, I think? The box arrived, I dragged it to the patio and it basically became a table for two months.

Just this last week I finally unboxed it, and spent three hours putting it together. I do love it!

The rug really adds a bit of homey-ness to the patio I think. It'll probably be need to tossed in a couple of years, but for now, I really like the look.

Hey, you can also see the new bathroom window from the outside here!

I really think the patio came together well. There's an element or two still missing.

And also... what's this?

I bought a house for my feral boys Buster and Peter for the winter! I really wanted them to have somewhere protected from the elements for those long week or three where it's actually cold in Dallas in the winter. I also wanted something that looked cute and gave them both their own space.

Still working on getting them to understand that it's for them, but Peter has at least checked it out!

Buster is under a chair over there being unimpressed. But also it's still in the 60's or 70's at night so they haven't needed it yet. I'm sprinkling food and treats in and on it to get them to try to investigate at least. There are warm beds on both the top and bottom levels for them. And you can see they also have beds in the chairs/floor where I see them sleeping.

They get oral flea medication every month or so btw.

The backyard is covered with cameras covering every inch. Nice cameras that solar recharge and are in high resolution. Every entrance of the house has at least two angles on it now. I'm really happy with that setup. Plus of course monitored alarm system.

There's no perfect home security, but I feel like I've made my house an unattractive target, at least. There are also generic signs posted about the video/alarm surveillance.

ANWYAY...

Fry and Pemily have also been enjoying supervised visits outside!

Fry loves dirt. Pemily loves just chilling out. I love hanging out out there after work and chilling with them. I do want to get a little side table for the lounger, but in due time. And YES I WEAR CROCS AROUND THE HOUSE. They're comfortable, ok? :D

Still gotta get the generator hooked up, and at some point actually finish beatifying the outside, but that's gonna take more money han I have left over now. I'll keep working on it, but also right now I'm letting myself just enjoy it.

OK! Back inside next time for the last two updates!

[destinygoldenstar]

Okay so I said I was gonna rant about this scene, so...

So, if you've seen my Episode 11 reaction of Season 1 of Disventure Camp, you know how... PISSED I was at a certain scene to say the least. To the point where I couldn't even talk coherently about it.

I wanted to explain myself and what MY POV of the scene was.

DISCLAIMER: this post is being made by somebody who, at the time of this post, has NOT watched past this episode. So any and all information regarding context for this scene revealed AFTER this episode (This season or another season) is IRRELEVANT to what I am talking about. I am ONLY going off of information revealed in Season 1 prior to this episode, and that's it.

Bottom line is, now that I am calmer and able to think coherently about it, I can safely say that my hatred for this scene was... SUBJECTIVE.

I hated it because it personally brought back a lot of moments in my own life, and as a result, when I watched the scene over and over again for the sake of this post, no matter what, my blood boils.

And I'm not even saying objectively this is a terrible scene writing-wise. After all, Total Drama, the show THIS show was inspired by, has quite a lot of characters doing... morally questionable things for the sake of the grand prize. So I am perfectly used to, and expected, seeing characters with less than perfect personalities, motivations, and actions.

So with that in mind, just because something like this happens in these kinds of shows, DOESN'T mean the show is saying you the audience should apply these actions to real life. They are merely telling a story and showing what a downfall looks like.

Yes I know what media literacy is.

As much as some people probably want to play the blame game just because it's easier to justify certain opinions, at the end of the day, THIS IS NOT A BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE. IT'S FAR MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT.

So with that in mind, I should make it clear that my harshness on the scene does NOT have to do with the character that gets hurt in the scene.

I feel like even the most hardcore vile Jake hater that wants him dead on sight, would have to admit even for a second that MAYBE Ellie is kinda not perfect with her logic here.

(Why'd you all want to kill this guy so much? Holy shit...)

So for context of the scene alone, Jake and Ellie are at the end of the challenge and need to decide which one of them claims immunity, both needing it. Jake offers a forgiveness of the shit that happened prior between them, but only if she gives him the immunity.

And Ellie decides not only "NO" but she also takes the opportunity to READ JAKE FOR FILTH.

So, to quote her words:

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

"And 'Boo Hoo, Aww, I Got Cheated On'. Grow the hell up, Jake."

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama."

"You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

"Tom probably saw it too. You have no right to shame me."

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

OUT OF CONTEXT, what does all of that read for you?

Probably something on the lines of, "Oh yay, this girl is roasting this man and calling him out on his bullshit and asshole behavior."

BUT THEN YOU LEARN THE CONTEXT, and you learn that this girl personally went after the dude's trauma to destroy his relationship with someone else, and is saying this to JUSTIFY her actions by saying "Well no, you deserved it, and you can't go after me cause I did nothing wrong. It was all you."

Yeah...

So when I said this wasn't a black and white issue, I wasn't kidding.

For more context on these characters, both of them are participating in a reality show where the prize is $1,000,000.

Ellie is a young adult with a dream to study fashion design, but she can't afford the funds for the college she's in. She's desperately in debt, being forced to work two jobs every day from dawn to dusk and having next to no spare time on her own to do the things she loves. Not for anything. Not for friendships or relationships either.

So she read to me at the start of the show as a bit of a gloomy introvert who finds it hard to let people in or see the bright side of things. And in the first half of the show, I'd say two people changed that for her: Gabby and Jake.

Gabby more so, because love interest. She's the one who gave Ellie a sense of hope in things, and went out of her way to save Ellie's spot in the game (at the cost of her own, tragically), because Ellie was a good and caring friend towards her and did not judge people before knowing them fully.

KEEP THAT IN MIND. Ellie DOES NOT JUDGE PEOPLE BEFORE GETTING TO KNOW THEM.

When Ellie gets betrayed by Alec, she's kicked off of her team and joins the other team, AKA, the team Jake is on. She quickly gets acquainted in him and the get along nicely. The only problem was that Jake, at the moment, was pretty salty regarding his own love interest, Tom, because Tom lied to him about his career.

Rather than write him off as a 'moody brat', Ellie sits down and tries to talk reason to Jake, and even offers to hear his side of the story to get an understanding as to why he acts the way he does.

The scene with them cuts away just as Jake is about to trauma dump to her, BUT we the audience already knew of Jake's trauma, so we can easily infer that this was where Ellie got information on Jake's personal trauma.

And even if she didn't, right before the scene on topic, Jake was ranting to her that she didn't know what it was like for him to go through that.

So yes, regardless of when she knew, Ellie DOES know what happened to Jake. The claim that 'Ellie was ignorant', as a result, is FALSE.

Ellie also offers Jake advice on how to approach Tom, giving him valuable lesson on not jumping to conclusions and talking things out to people.

ELLIE SAID THIS TO JAKE. KEEP THIS IN MIND. SHE'S THE ONE WHO GAVE THIS ADVICE TO HELP HIM OUT.

Their friendship remains on good terms with mutual respect for a bit. When the team loses and they have to vote someone off, everyone BUT Jake and Gabby voted out Ellie because she was the new girl. Gabby would NEVER vote Ellie, let's be real, so that's not surprising at all. Plus it was thanks to Gabby's idol that Ellie survived that Tribal Council.

Jake was a shocker in this regard though. Despite his connections with Miriam and Tom, he refused to join the popular crowd on the team and instead chose to throw his vote on Gabby. Looking back at that choice, it's such a subtle sign of respect that Jake has gained for Ellie and how she helped him.

The next episode, Jake DOES decide to join Tom and Miriam in voting off Gabby, Ellie's closest companion in the game. That SOUNDS like a stab in the back, but there's a scene where Jake talks to Ellie about this and comes clean to her about what he's doing.

And Ellie... takes this well.

She completely respects his decision, and agrees that she would not take this vote as a personal attack, because... it's not. It's just a vote.

He's not trying to destroy Ellie's relationship with Gabby, or trying to spite Ellie by voting Gabby, he's merely casting a vote as the game wants.

Could they have voted for anyone else? OH YEAH.

BUT TO BE FAIR, Grett had immunity, and Jake, at that point, had no connection with Fiore and Alec, and Fiore in particular tried to get on Jake, Tom, and Miriam's good side earlier in the episode. So I MOSTLY blame Gabby's elimination on the Fiore Alec and Grett alliance, because unlike Jake, they DIDN'T tell Ellie jack shit and went behind her back.

There is no evidence in the next couple of episodes that Ellie has any beef towards Jake regarding voting off Gabby. At least, not until the scene on topic. She mostly directs her beef towards Alec for betraying her trust for the second time.

And then he would do it again a third time-god you need to get better allies Ellie.

But then by Episode 10, Ellie is reminded of her outcast situation among the cast. She's on good terms with Jake, thus she's in the Jake Tom and Miriam alliance, the majority at that point. Even Miriam came around and apologized to Ellie for misjudging her. Unless Fiore and/or Alec got immunity, those two were for sure gone.

But after they were gone, or voting them out wasn't an option, would that lead to Ellie's elimination? For no other reason other than she's the one with the weakest bonds with the others? Jake and Tom are lovers, and Miriam is their surrogate grandmother. They are a found family. And Ellie is just... the friend tagging along.

She was so outcasted that she died on the first day in the zombie simulation and they just forgot about her.

Oh, AND Tom cut her arm off. That's not cool.

And Ellie CANNOT afford to lose this game. Her whole lifestyle is on the line. More so than any of the others. She HAS to win this, otherwise she might never get another chance to financially achieve her dreams. (CURSE YOU GOVERNMENT)

So, in other words, she has to screw her relationships and strategize.

It's a completely understandable and empathetic motive, probably one even more empathetic than any of the Total Drama character's motives.

In that circumstance, as the numbers go down, does it all come down to popularity or strategy? When you're unpopular among your peers and that could be an elimination sentence, do you let that happen or do you take matters into your own hands?

So Ellie, reluctantly, goes to Fiore and Alec again to side with them on the votes. But that would just be a 3-3 tie and there was no guarantee they would survive the tiebreaker.

So their plan to solve this issue was...

*groan*

Trigger Jake's insecurities and manipulate him into destroying his relationship with Tom.

...

Ellie was hesitant, but she was convinced it was the only option she had to save herself.

She could've instead just stolen that godforsaken immunity idol that Tom found since she knew he had it BUT I DIGRESS.

The plan works perfectly, and Jake and Tom's relationship is destroyed, resulting in an ugly break up.

But Fiore outs Ellie for her scheme, (betraying her YET AGAIN), resulting in Ellie becoming he true outcast of the group, as not only are the villains dumping her, but Jake is OUT FOR BLOOD.

Ellie apologizes to Jake for what happened, expressing her remorse for what she had done. She proved herself before as a good friend who had the best intentions and wanted to help Jake, despite not having reason to put up with him. And she betrayed that.

And I do believe that she does feel guilty over what she had done.

She doesn't get sick pleasure from hurting others like Fiore does. She simply did the deed because she felt like she had to.

But Jake not only doesn't forgive her, but he also refuses to hear out her side of the story or her reasonings, and continues to rant about how pissed he was at her THE ENTIRE EPISODE.

Even when she saves his life from a scorpion, he STILL gives her shit.

And you can TELL from her facial expressions that she was just DONE with everyone telling her she was the one that was full of shit.

And it wasn't just Jake. Earlier in the episode, Miriam called Ellie out and told her off, saying that her personally attacking Jake and Tom that was was WRONG.

And Ellie continues to DEFEND her actions instead of hearing them out, saying it was 'gameplay' and 'she needed to win' and 'friendships would've ruined her life'.

HMM, SHE'S NOT HEARING OUT THE OTHERS SIDE OF THE STORY AND INSTEAD CHOOSING TO DEFEND HERSELF AND GIVE THE OTHER PERSON SHIT. WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE?!

YOU DAMN HYPOCRITE.

(Hypocrisy is not bad characterization. It's very human and it's very real. I'm just saying it angrily cause it's an annoying trait in real life too)

And that leads to the scene on topic, where Ellie decides NOT to repair her friendship with Jake. She decides to ditch it, vouch for herself, and defend herself to the very end, even at the cost of Jake's psyche.

She's too caught up in justifying herself that her judgement and remorse earlier is completely clouded, and her empathy is secondary to her ambition and greed.

It's a tragic "She's too far gone" moment.

Now in her defense, (Yeah, I know), nobody was even trying to listen to her or understand her. They all merely only cared about their own personal feelings, and what they wanted from her. JAKE MOST OF ALL.

So due to her interactions with Jake before to understand who he was, she knew very well what his setbacks were and used them to her advantage to hit him where it hurt.

So no, I do not believe Ellie is making assumptions about Jake when she makes her rant in this moment. She KNOWS what she's talking about, and I think she genuinely believes, in her mind, that she is telling Jake what he needs to hear...

But uh... OH BOY NO.

I'm sorry girl, but NO.

On the other side of this, we have Jake.

Idk if Jake is a young adult or a late teenager, somebody's gonna have to clarify that for me. He joined the show while his beloved grandmother, who he claims was the only person in his life who truly understood him, was bedridden. At the start of the show, he joined with the intent of attempting to win the show and help her out...

Unfortunately, in the middle of the season, she passed away. So...

Yeah, that's heartbreaking, I have to imagine.

At the start of the show, he's basically the 'shy but sweet and kind cinnamon roll with a bite'. He was working with Tom, his crush, as the ones doing the heavy lifting in getting survival supplies for the group, and was the only one on that team who attempted friendly socialization with his teammates.

And yes, I mean that. Tom was more hostile due to his job, Miriam was the cranky old lady who pushed away everyone, Dan only cared about alliances, Grett was a bad bitch, Gabby was an outcast, and Drew... couldn't even talk.

It was JAKE who was trying to form genuine bonds with some of the people around him, seeing the best in them. He saw through Tom's mask right from the start and supported his leadership of the team, and he was the only one who showed kindness to Miriam even when she pushed him away.

And while I would NOT consider Jake a good strategic player of the game, that's also because he had no intention to 'use' anybody. He just wanted to form bonds with them.

He read to me as someone who craves bonds. Love. In all forms.

He says that his grandmother was the only one who truly understood him. Which implied that the rest of family... might not be the most loving people. Do I think it's an abusive household? No. But rather one that sounds... cold. Distant.

Or maybe they're homophobic. Idk.

I mean, he calls this 'Shawn' guy over his own parents. Even Grett called her parents, and her parents are shit. (Idk who Shawn is, whether that's a friend or a sibling. Someone needs to clarify that for me.)

There's also Jake's anxieties around cemeteries. His grandfather passed away when he was a kid, and he would always go with his family to send flowers. Which surrounded him with death and loss... how god knows how many years. Idk, if forcing a child to be around a place that gives them anxiety all the time doesn't scream a cold and misunderstanding parent, idk what does.

I feel like it was that episode where the signs started to show, that "OH. This boy is NOT a cinnamon roll. He's got issues."

And then as the season went on, he shows a lot more... uh... FLAWS.

Yeah, I know, a flawed character? That's like having the plague.

He has a lot of anxieties about certain things, such as his own fears of death and loss (probably why he decided "It's a perfect time to join a reality show!"), and with people possibly using him.

It's implied that the time between this and the show is narrow. Jake was previously in a toxic relationship that fell apart when his ex, (not named), cheated on him. He couldn't get over it, and they split.

This may also be my angsty brain talking and I'm reading too much into it, but he also says when talking about the subject he "got hurt". And during the Episode 10 'believing the lie' segment, he expresses concern about how EVERYONE sees him as an idiot they can use. They can CONTROL him. They ALL take advantage of him and deceive him for their own gain.

No, it's not S/A, there's no hints of that sort of thing, but that still heavily implies that this previous relationship caused... quite a bit of PTSD from what happened in such.

So... yeah, it drives my point further that Jake is an anxious paranoid bean who just wants to be loved by people. Above all else.

He succeeds at forming a bond with Miriam and getting her to open up to everyone, and she even calls him 'the grandchild she never had'. He also forms a bond with Tom, gets a crush on him, and gets him to open up about his intentions, and scars, and not be ashamed of them. They even kiss. How wholesome.

And then it's revealed to Jake that Tom is a spy, and has been lying to Jake this whole time about such...

And he BLOWS UP at Tom's face about it.

Yeah, so Jake may or may not be very impulsive and emotional.

This man DOES NOT think before he speaks. He holds a lot of grudges. He has no problem speaking his mind. And he loves to talk about his own past experiences with others, regardless if they ask, to 'bond' with them to get them to understand him better.

(He just like me fr)

While Tom is part of the blame too, because... he lied. Jake soured their relationship by not hearing him out and continued to lash out.

And then Ellie joined the team after a swap with her and Grett, and she quickly becomes acquainted with Jake. She notices Jake's conflict with Tom, and she offers to understand his side of the story. He tries to brush her off, not wanting to do yet another trauma dump, but she insists, and assures him that she's very respectful and understanding.

And so she's the one to give Jake the advice to hear out Tom's side of the story, apologize, and try to mend their bond. Advice he actually takes, as he apologizes to Tom, several times, and fully confesses to his selfishness in the situation.

Tom shuts him down several times because... it's Tom. But at least on Jake's end, he's the one to take the first step in admitting his wrongs and making up for it.

It was thanks to Ellie, a newfound friend, that was able to get through to him and get him to cool off. And I feel like it's because of her doing that, that he stuck up for her and refused to vote her.

Going back to Jake seeing good in people, Jake was the only one besides Gabby who didn't join the popular crowd in voting Ellie. He saw that she was not a bad person and willingly gave her a chance when no one else did.

Again, besides Gabby, but Gabby already knew Ellie before Ellie joined the team. So it's even more impressive for Jake, who just met her.

As impulsive, paranoid, and messy Jake is, it NEVER came across to me as he WANTS to be that way. These are all coping mechanisms to people constantly using him and deceiving him throughout his life that are on autopilot. He thinks emotionally. And said emotions cloud is better judgement.

Oh gee, it's almost like he's a human being.

So... imagine how Jake feels when the friend that helped him comes up to him and says that his crush is a scumbag who is using him.

Just like his ex did...

Yeah, that's gonna trigger some PTSD and cause Jake to act irrationally.

In Jake's defense (again), he DID consider that maybe something wasn't right, that it was a lie, and that Tom wouldn't do this to him. But it was Ellie who kept on gaslighting him with his own trauma to prevent him from pursuing a conversation with Tom.

So... yeah. I really can't blame Jake for not talking to Tom about it, cause, uh... he NEVER had the chance. Ellie wouldn't let him have the chance. What was he supposed to do?

But Jake DID ultimately fall for the trap and believed the lie, which was the driving force of giving the villains the opening they needed to vote off Tom...

...with the deciding factor being Jake's own vote on Tom. That he likely did as a throwaway vote.

Shit.

Yeah, and then Ellie gets outed by Fiore as the one who lied, deceived, and used him, personally using his trauma to destroy the relationship he formed. And once it's outed it's already too late, as Jake is only left to BEG for forgiveness that he does not get, as Tom denounces their relationship entirely.

Ellie used him. Ellie took advantage of him. Ellie ruined what he had. Ellie caused this.

So is it any wonder that Jake is pissed at her? I know I would be.

This was very personal shit for him. His relationship with Tom was something special for him. It was a rekindling of love, and validating for Jake that he could help someone for the better and bond with them. And in a day, it's all gone, with only Jake being the one blamed.

All because a so called 'friend' wanted money.

So of course Jake is not going to hear Ellie out at all, or forgive her. To him, this is just Ellie showing her true colors. That she's just like everyone else who hurt him and used him and controlled him.

Jake does NOT have to forgive Ellie for that. That's his choice. Especially if he's upset with her.

What really surprised me was Jake's offer forgive Ellie by giving him immunity.

This could mean two things: One, he genuinely wants to cool off and give her another chance. Or Two, he's testing her and seeing if she'd choose friendship over the money.

I think it could be both.

Either way, she declines his offer, and then begins to SHAME him for everything he's been feeling the entire episode.

"You can't shame Ellie. Ellie's not the one at fault for you losing Tom. It was YOU."

"It's YOUR fault, Jake."

"You deserved it, Jake."

"You're an annoying piece of shit, and no one will ever love you."

And... well, I think his face at the end said it all. That HURT him.

I wouldn't be surprised if Jake has gained even MORE PTSD from his experience on the show, and this in particular.

And I wouldn't be surprised if Jake is ten times worse in another season because of these experiences. Hostile, whining, difficult to work with, and not trusting anyone ever again. And also self loathing cause he'd think no one would want him or love him anyway.

But that was 'calling out'. Wouldn't that make Jake want to be better instead of regress as worse than he was before?

Well, here's my beef, if this was supposed to be 'Ellie calling Jake out' it did NOT work as that. That instead came across as shaming.

The reason I analyzed both characters was so you could understand that I am not trying to glorify one or the other. Especially when I say this.

‘Girlboss moment’ this is definitely not.

Ellie ditching Alec? That was a great girlboss moment. Dude deserved it. And she didn’t have to shame him for how shit he treats his family to do it.

But THIS?!

I’m sorry, but everything she said in that speech was quite bullshit and not well thought out.

Now, I am all for Jake getting called out. Like I said, there ARE things worth calling out. Jake DOES deserve to get called out for certain traits.

But this is not how you do it.

So let me debunk all these lines:

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

That’s a death threat.

Plain and simple.

“Eat shit and die” IS a death threat.

This woman gave him a death threat.

INSTANT NO.

"And 'Boo Hoo, Aww, I Got Cheated On'. Grow the hell up, Jake."

Okay, 50/50

On the one hand, Jake does whine about his personal life. A lot.

On the other hand, this is also downplaying Jake’s trauma with that issue. Regardless on how you feel about it, it clearly has an effect on them and shouldn’t be brushed off as ‘oh they’re just being whiny’.

How would you like it if I downplayed YOUR issues, Ellie?

“Boo hoo, I’m in debt and I can’t follow my dreams and I’m an outcast” Grow up Ellie.

DOESN’T FEEL GOOD, DOES IT?

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama."

Um… except he IS a victim?

I’m sorry, but think about it.

Idk the full details of Jakes previous relationship, but I think getting cheated on definitely counts as being a victim of that circumstance.

Also, YOU USED HIM, YOU FIORE AND ALEC DEVISED A PLOT TO USE HIM.

Don’t act like that’s not him being a victim when you’re the orchestrator.

Also “You’re really just a sponge for drama”. And you aren’t? And Fiore isn’t? And Grett isn’t? And Tom isn’t?

I guess Ellie didn’t witness the majority of her team getting eliminated because of a child being a sponge for drama.

"You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

For that to be true, Jake would actively be doubling down on every time he’s ever yelled at someone for something. Except that’s not the case.

For that to be true, he would never recognize he’s at fault and apologize over and over. Except that’s not the case.

For that to be true, he wouldn’t care for Miriam in the beginning. Of Tom. Or you.

"Tom probably saw it too. You have no right to shame me."

He DOES have a right to shame you.

YOU HURT HIM.

AND YOU KNOW YOU HURT HIM.

This is STRAIGHT UP Ellie saying “It’s not my fault, it’s yours, because I said so. You can’t blame me.”

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

Again, Jake came clean to you about voting Gabby. And you were cool with it. You said it yourself. This is the only time you’ve ever shown beef about that.

AND Fiore Alec and Grett betrayed your trust cause you didn’t know they were gonna vote Gabby. So you’re gonna blame JAKE? Okay??

Also, what analogy is that supposed to be?

Supposedly she’s comparing this to Tom’s elimination. But those eliminations are not comparable.

Did Jake toy with your personal feelings and relationship with Gabby to vote her off? No?

SO WHAT THE HELL??

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.

NO. JUST STRAIGHT UP NO.

This is something SO VILE, that I actually physically cannot understand it if you tell me that’s a ‘good roast’.

That is not what this is. Again, this is SHAMING.

This whole thing is her shaming Jake for his trauma and digging it in his head that he deserved all of it. Because ‘he’s annoying’.

Ellie doesn’t know WHY the ex cheated on Jake (unless Jake told her off screen). Maybe it was because the ex found Jake annoying, idk. BUT THAT MAKES IT EVEN WORSE.

That triggers so much more of the trauma in that moment as ‘he left you because you were annoying’, and definitely brought back some shit.

Imagine someone who knows that you were abused by someone tells you that because they don’t like a certain trait of yours, you deserved the abuse. NO. NO ONE DESERVES TO HAVE THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO THEM, REGARDLESS IF YOU HATE THEIR CHARACTER.

That doesn’t mean abused people can’t be bad people. Nor does past abuse excuse bad actions. But it’s something that at least shouldn’t be shamed because, in what world, is abuse the victims fault?

Saying this stuff to someone makes the person’s psyche so much worse. They not only feel attacked, but it’s a kick starter to a lot of dangerous self loathing and anxiety, which could lead to them acting worse.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been there personally.

Yeah that’s another reason why I was so hurt by this scene. It just did a lot of personal flashes in my head. I’m in a better place now, but in terms of my past in school as a teen, I was Jake. I was whiny, impulsive, beefed with all my bullies, and loved to rant to strangers. The reason being that the school environment was giving me so much anxiety and problems, and no one wanted to help me. I was a pain in the ass and everyone hated me. Some would even say it aloud knowing I was in hearing range “I can’t stand *my real name*” “I know, right? She’s so annoying!” Most of them would bully and harass me KNOWING I would react emotionally and just wanted a kick out of it.

I wasn’t cheated on. That never happened to me. But I did have a toxic friendship that lasted for years. I got hurt very badly. I was used, manipulated for my attempted kindness, shamed whenever anything good happened-it was not good. Then they got into drugs and I left before I could fall victim too. Idk where they are now and I don’t care.

And then the teachers, AKA, the adults, sided with them and not me and joined in on shaming me. Even stopping the whole activity just to talk down to me and discredit me.

So… you can imagine the flashbacks I got from watching this scene.

Bottom line is, I got help, I moved out, and I like to think I’m a much better and more mature person now. Still struggle with anxiety though.

But hey, I guess there was no other way Ellie could’ve approached that.

Oh wait no. Because there’s ANOTHER ‘calling out’ scene in the SAME episode.

The one where Miriam calls out Ellie for her personal attacks.

Miriam didn’t go after Ellie’s personal stuff at all in that. She was calm, she listened to Ellie’s defenses, and she countered them accordingly. It was clear she was saying that with good intentions to help Ellie recognize her mistakes. Ellie didn’t listen, but that’s not Miriam’s fault.

THAT is how you call out a loved one for their wrong actions. You have to consider their feelings, tell when what they did wrong, and be there to help them improve in themselves.

You don’t shame personal stuff like this.

Now, I’m not saying that the scene is bad writing. Maybe Ellie going at this the wrong way IS the intention of the scene and we’re supposed to not side with her. But if that was the case wouldn’t everyone be saying she crossed a line here? Regardless if you’re an Ellie Stan or not.

For Jake especially, Miriam would be the harsh judge I imagine to call him out on his actions and behavior, to have him recognize that he was part of the blame for Tom leaving him. That he was stupid, impulsive, and there was a reason he’s so easy to be taken advantage of.

I got a talking down like that from my own parents, and it really opened my eyes to how shitty I was.

So I feel like this scene is gonna have significant consequences to Jake’s psyche. As much as I would love to see Jake realize his faults and redeem into a better person, I have a gut feeling that’s not where this direction is going and he’s just gonna get worse until everyone hates him.

It just won’t be in Season 1 because it’s close to the end and Jake is… you know…

Ellie has far more routable motivations than Jake does. But she went at this the absolute wrong way.

Should’ve just stole the idol.

And you know what’s worse than not stealing the idol? SHE DIDNT EVEN NEED TO DO THIS.

It was BECAUSE of this scene that she lost the challenge! If she actually WAS all about gameplay, she would have just said ‘no’ to Jakes offer, shoved him, and left. And she would’ve won. BUT NO.

If you ask me, writing wise, Ellie should’ve just gotten the immunity. I think that would’ve made a lot more sense than Alec snagging it last minute. Jake and Ellie were never voting together anyway.

They could’ve. But it’s because of their own issues that they refused, didn’t see the light, and caused this whole thing.

Huh. I guess that’s why the scene is called ‘Lights Out’.

Anyway, there’s my rant. Fuck this scene.

[i-read-that-manga-for-you]

Given

Admittedly, I read this manga a long time ago. Like when chapters were still coming out. I was still in high school at the time (holy fuck) and couldn't really articulate my feelings as well as I can now.

I had left this review (bits and pieces of it) on a manga site and decided I might as well put it on my tumblr, finetuning it, of course. First post, because in spite of its flaws, Given is still close to my heart. And I reread it again (somewhat) to make this a better review. I hope each person who reads this will reimburse me with 50 cents each (jk don't). So here it is. My impression of Given, with !!some!! talk about how SA is treated in BL/Yaoi culture in general.

Or not, this is just my two cents with no anthropology degree.

Do take what I say with a grain of salt, a piece of creative media does not exist in a vacuum, but this review treats it as one at times because I'm not really skilled enough to talk about any wider implications. I'm just some guy giving my review.

Spoilers ahead. Go ahead.

TW: Sexual Assault.

Honestly, this manga made me feel a lot. Good and bad feelings. But let's focus on what I liked.

Ugetsu.

He's on the phone, shhh.

I found Ugetsu to be a very compelling character, and it was a huge shame that he vanished partway through the manga. Basically? I have no criticisms about him as a character, he has his flaws and he's nuanced. He's interesting and compelling, and it's clear that he's someone who is still growing and learning to walk on his own two feet. I won't deny that his relationship with Akihiko was very toxic, but I definitely think this isn't something that can be blamed solely on him.

But with this out of the way. Let's talk about the pairings.

Let's talk about Akiharu.

Kizu Natsuki is an amazing artist... Even when I have certain issues with this manga.

Well. I have a lot of qualms with Akiharu.

For starters, Akihiko assaulted Haruki. I'll never forget that. The fact that they ended up getting together anyway was a huge point of contention for me. Given was framed as a story about love more than a traditional story about BL/yaoi which (sorry) usually leans towards the sex. (This is not to say that sex and romance are separated, well they are but they are linked rather than being one in the same. You can have either, like they're hot/cold water but they come from the same faucet.)

But I feel that having this scene in rather than an argument feels completely wrong. I'm someone who will digest pretty much anything the world throws at me, but the Akiharu assault scene came off wrong and it came off scary. (Note: I say scary but I definitely mean much more than that, I just feel like "shouldn't be romanticized" doesn't encapsulate all of it. This topic is not something I'm qualified to talk about, so I don't want to overstep any boundaries.)

And to be honest, that's good because SA shouldn't be romanticised, for that, a big well done to our author. I just wish the aftermath was dealt with better.

This is terrifying. Please retract your words.

In spite of the SA scene being scary, afterwards all seemed to be resolved the moment it was revealed that Akihiko had nowhere else to go.

Everything for them goes uphill from here. Yay.

I just have to wonder what was the point of that buildup if you were just going to allow things to end nicely like that. With a scene like that, you'd think that the manga was saying that "SA is scary, it's terrifying and it's something that you shouldn't forget even if it's BL/Yaoi." But, why did it end up like this.

What I'm trying to say is: What does it matter that Akihiko apologised (twice), he still assaulted Haruki, he assaulted a friend. Even worse is the way that they're framed as a healthy couple afterwards, this just made me all the more uncomfortable. I feel like this is saying "SA is scary" but also saying "the power of love and friendship absolves everything". I've seen some people talk about the fact that SA happened, but haven't seen them say how it was "resolved". I think it's more to do with yaoi/BL fiction culture, that we've grown to accept SA that is unaddressed in our media to the point that Akihiko's apology is like a prayer more than something that's not even worth a second glance.

Saying that Akiharu started off rocky is an understatement, but if I pretend it never happened, I can say for sure that they are much healthier than Akigetsu, and they deserve each other. It's just not good storytelling especially because I don't really understand the motivations of Haruki liking Akihiko.

I once said that Haruki's character arc was based on Akihiko and that was my bad. I was wrong. Haruki, in fact, has a minor character arc, that isn't really to do with Akihiko, about how he feels insecure surrounded by geniuses in the band and this gets resolved by Akihiko saying that they wouldn't be able to function if all of them were geniuses, and Haruki himself seeing Akihiko hard at work. But I had completely forgotten about this arc, my bad, but my point still stands. Haruki deserved a better character arc.

I don't have a smart comment for this unfortunately. Eat your veggies??

In spite of saying this, I'm not an Akiharu hater, I swear. But I just found that ship much less compelling than Akigetsu in general. Akigetsu was a relationship where they were both incredibly toxic towards each other, there was an imbalance in the fact that Ugetsu literally owned the place they were living in, as well as how he'd kick Akihiko out whenever things were rocky. However, I think the end of their relationship was dealt well on both sides, their toxicity towards each other was framed in a negative light as it should have been. They ended the relationship and went their separate ways, this was the best ending for them. For Akiharu and Akigetsu: The difference between these two relationships is that one was dealt well and the other was dealt wrong. Akiharu deserve each other and Ugetsu deserves to learn how to grow by himself.

Anyway, another point of contention was, in spite of the healthy nature of Akiharu. Somehow, the friendship between the two couples seems to have waned and it was pretty disappointing to see. I think it started before this, but the first time it was obvious to me was this scene.

I know you're in the middle of something, but don't be mean to Mafuyu >:(.

Context: This is Chapter 40. Akiharu are in a moment of intimacy and Uenoyama is knocking at their door trying to get advice.

We've seen that Mafuyu is a very reserved person, to see that Akihiko was so ready to tell Mafuyu to stop coming over (even if it is to stop him from coming over so suddely) right to his face was extremely immature.

Basically, imagine if that had been Mafuyu. Personally, I feel like Mafuyu would have been hurt like hell and closed right back up. This scene is something played for laughs and that's something so disappointing. Given is shown to be a band of friends, but in the end it seemed more like two couples who hang out sometimes. Also the fact that both Akihiko and Haruki are pushing Uenoyama to get Mafuyu to rejoin the band. That's something else that bothers me heavily. That they're treating Mafuyu as Uenoyama's responsibility because they're dating. It's a band that is sure to fall apart if you are not making an effort to support each other equally. I mean, it doesn't have to be entirely equal but points for effort and they get no points here. It's funny because they were at least a little self-aware of this prior.

Dating in a band is something that is nuanced, of course. But it sure is funny to see them practically go down the same route they condemned.

That's my criticism of Akiharu.

So, what about the other instance of SA? I'm talking about Shizusumi and Hiiragi, of course.

Let's talk about Shizuragi.

Here they are! Let's talk about them!

Admittedly the first time around, I wasn't particularly into Shizuragi, I was too busy mourning the absense of Ugetsu. But it was during their sex scene where I realised something was very wrong. I was having flashbacks to the Akiharu assault chapter but this time it was played as "love" rather than something reprehensible. Once again, assault was in the manga and it, once again, resolved with badly.

I feel like sexual assault being played off as "love" and being resolved literally the next chapter with the victim being all kosher with it, should be garnering people's "??? what the fuck"s and not to bat for the opposing team for once but where are the complaints. I've actually seen some people talking about this chapter, but I would have expected more.

Hiiragi said he was scared and was crying, but they still fucked anyway. :D <- smile of shock.

Um what. Haha... ha........ :D <- terrifed smile of shock.

I don't know whether it would have been worse that he knew he was assaulting Hiiragi or whether he didn't know at all. But he knew.

Shizusumi confessed his love the morning after and it was all okay. But, to be honest, the fact that it was played off as being "all okay" makes this even worse. It's normal in yaoi/BL for SA to be played off as love, but you'd think that the last place you'd see this is in Given of all places. SA is SA and the fact that Hiiragi was so accepting of what happened to him afterwards says something about this the culture of BL/yaoi and how we just go along with it says something about this sentiment of how "yaoi is always going to be yaoi".

We're done? We're done.

There are no more SA scenes (that I can remember). But I do want to touch on Mafuyu and Uenoyama as briefly as possible (This is a recount of my experience after all). So, Mafuyama.

Ah, yes. The start of everything.

Admittedly, I didn't actually find their relationship super compelling. This is because I tend to get tunnel vision on characters I like (in this case, I heavily tunnel visioned on Ugetsu). I do like them both, they just didn't fit within my vision. I thought they were sweet but I also see a lot of complaints about how Mafuyu was stuck on Yuki and Uenoyama was getting backseated and I do agree with this. Kind of.

I think Mafuyu's story is about growth as a person, it's like what people say: You don't move on or lose your grief, you grow around it. Grief doesn't get smaller, you just get bigger. The person he loved died and I don't think it's fair to say that he has to get over Yuki. Grief is something that sticks with you everywhere, something you have to carry every day. They're still teenagers, they're still young and still have room to grow.

But as a story? Sheesh, instead of Haruki having no place in their circle. I felt like Uenoyama, even when he's the protagonist, wasn't given his spotlight in his own story. There is no character arc for him, there is nothing for him and that's just not fair. There are two people in a relationship, so why does it always feel like, narratively, Uenoyama always comes as an afterthought?

You could have had a character arc about this... Relationships are meant to be balanced, sweetie...

I just think it's a shame, but they're nowhere near as unhealthy as the other couples in Given, so I'm giving them a gold star.

(Minor irk, I do not remember when this happened but why the hell does Yayoi (Uenoyama's sister) get a character arc (where she comes to an understanding about Mafuyama feelings for each other, but also the gay in general) but the man himself doesn't?)

So, with Mafuyama, I feel like the story could have focused a little more on Uenoyama's side. But I feel like it's similar to how Haruki's story kind of got the backseat to Akigetsu drama happenings at the time. Shrug, we can't have it all.

He's beautiful...

That's honestly... all my thoughts. Wow! That was a lot of them. I think there's a lot to be said about how yaoi treats SA and dub-con in general, even in a manga that's not even focused on the sex.

With that said, I don't think BL shouldn't have SA or dubious scenes but the aftermath should be dealt with better afterwards. I think with Given, it's a start that the SA (at least with Akiharu) wasn't romanticised, but the aftermath was just poorly executed.

But I'm not the yaoi police, I hold no authority and I don't support purity culture. I'm not an anti-anything and I also believe that fiction should be fiction. What people enjoy should no way equate to a person's worldview. But, this was just all my perspective and my opinion. I said it and now I'm done. Haha... Anyway, my paypal is—

[rustictealeaf]

i love your fc drelle! please, tell me more about her wife

HELLO YES, HERE IS MORE ABOUT DRELLE'S WIFE!

This is Willow Terran, the 5th Generation Earth Dragon Slayer!

She grew up in a dragon eater cult that used part of Dogramag's body to give their children the ability of dragon slayers.

Because of the nature of how she gained her dragon slayer magic, Willow is cursed with dragon features. Her left arm is covered in thick, dark brown dragon scales. And very soon, she begins to grow horns on her head and develop scales on her face.

She became a member of Fairy Tail looking for work, and during the battle of Fairy Tail, was put up against three other members- one including Drelle, the other two being mages named Erin and Sakana.

MORE DRELLE BACKSTORY + WILLOW!

THE BATTLE OF FAIRY TAIL

Drelle, Willow, Sakana, and Erin all are trapped in an enchantment rune together that says that they have to fight each other and only one of them would be allowed to leave. Drelle IMMEDIATELY recognizes the script and panics. She is flooded by memories of her brother, who she missed so dearly.

However, she knows enough to get them out of the enchantment safely- its just a matter of convincing everyone to stop fighting. In the middle of her fight against Willow, who is nearly decimating the other three mages with her magic, Drelle manages to convince Willow that she can get them out if she's willing to trust her. Willow does, and manages to fight Sakana and Erin to give Drelle enough time to drop the enchantment. Sure enough, its Dark Écriture, and shes able to rewrite the enchantment to allow them to leave it.

The three other wizards wonder how she was able to do that, and she explains that she grew up learning the script from her younger brother, who was in love with ancient languages and magic script. Erin explains that the runes were put up by Freed Justine, a member of the Thunder Legion and one of Laxus's lackies. WELL GUESS WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A JUSTINE TOO. Drelle doesn't reveal this information, but Willow can just tell that they are siblings due to their similar scent- so she offers to help Drelle find Freed to hopefully knock some sense into him. The two of them begin to go around Magnolia to disable as many runes as they possibly can to prevent more fighting while Erin and Sakana attempt to find the Thunder Legion to take them out.

Unfortunately, they both lose to Bickslow (and sakana realizes that hes kinda attractive, way to go girl). That leaves Drelle and Willow to continue to take out enchantments.

This pisses of Freed, naturally, and he shows up like "why the fuck are you doing that also HOW are you doing that" and so they fight Freed! Drelle is like "noo my brother cant possibly be evil now, i knew practicing black magic was bad" and then Willow gets hit with his magic and its an enchantment that removes her ability to see, so she becomes blinded and taken out by Freed.

Drelle realizes shes left to fight him herself, and is actually keeping up with him pretty well. She is able to undo some of his enchantments while giving herself some of her own to boost her magic power and her strength, and is able to get a really good hit in on him, but in the end he uses his advantage of planting runes in the city to outdo her. She breaks one of the rules of the enchantments and is struck down by lightning, putting her out of the game. Freed wonders who this woman is but continues on, not quite realizing that Drelle is his "dead" sister. and then goes and gets his ass kicked by mira later.

POST THE BATTLE OF FAIRY TAIL

after the whole bye bye laxus ordeal and hes banished for inventing fortnite, erin and willow are going on a job when erin goes and asks drelle if she wants to join them. she was impressed by her magic and her performance and asks her if she'd be willing to join their team, and so she agrees. They need another wizard with elemental magic, not just willow, so they invite sakana too! yay, team!

i have a lot of jobs they go on in my head but TLDR willow and drelle realize that their magic sync together very well. Drelle can use her magic to buff Willow's attacks and add more mobility to Willow's magic, since its very stationary. As the earth dragon slayer, she doesnt have a lot of mobility options other than drilling herself into the dirt, which isnt always smart. shes very dense so getting off the ground is hard. Drelle can use her light script to boost Willow and also cover her blind spots and take things out at range, which Willow really can't other than a few attacks. The two make a really good team and are even able to do a unison raid during a job! meaning their magic becomes so insync they do a joint magic attack!

after a specific job im still planning out in my head- Willow's curse is getting worse. She overused her magic during a fight, and Drelle notices while bandaging her wounds all the dragon marks on her body. Willow's eyes are still slitted and her magic is going crazy, and she confesses to Drelle in a panic that she's at risk of transforming. Drelle asks her what she means, and she explains that because shes a dragon eater and not a true dragon slayer, she has the risk of turning into a dragon from overuse of her magic. Drelle exclaims that there must be something they can do, and Willow tells her that if she can't control her magic, she'll transform and kill everyone. She begs Drelle to take everyone and leave, because she doesnt know if she can control herself, and Drelle refuses, saying there has to be something they can do. She thinks fast and in another moment of using her etherious magic, she starts to put dark erciture on willow that says she can't transform. its use of bane particles allow the dragons curse to recede into the mark. HOWEVER, dark erciture itself has a cost too- its black magic that drelle has to use her etherious blood to activate. Drelle finishes the magic but her right eye turns completely dark. At the cost of saving Willow, she permanently gives herself a dark eye, the same one that Freed has. It took a lot of magic to seal away Willow's curse like that, and also was very painful for Willow. The words of the enchantment are basically burned into her arm. Drelle agrees to keep Willow's secret and so the two don't tell their teammates what happened. Of course, Erin knows about the curse, but not that its suddenly become so much worse.

Drelle wears an eyepatch for awhile, telling everyone she lost her eye in the recent job they went on, since the job was classified incorrectly. It was definitely an S Class mission improperly categorized, which would have been fatal were Willow not able to tap into her deeper magic reserves and trigger her dragon transformation. Willow feels guilty that Drelle has to wear that thing for awhile, but it's mostly for Drelle's sake- she now bears the same curse her brother does. She had now tapped into her Etherious blood. While Freed wears that curse proudly and as a mark of honor, Drelle despises her family for ruining her life and taking away her normal childhood. She wanted to grow up and help people. She had that taken from her.

POST TENROU

Willow and Drelle get together shortly before the events of Tenrou Island. I'm still working exactly on how the confession goes, but their relationship burns brightly quickly.

When Fairy Tail goes missing during Tenrou, Drelle begins to mourn her brother once more, broken that she has lost him so quickly after reuniting.

A year after the Tenrou incident, a grieving Sakana leaves home and leaves her child with Drelle and Willow, who are forced to take care of her daughter Lana as she went on a 10 year quest with Erin to try and ride out her grief.

AND WILLOW IS SOOOOO GOOD WITH LANA. SHE'S SO GOOD WITH KIDS.