#revan i love you so much come home

[krisslegacy]

if revan was a hozier song he’d be unknown/nith

[krisslegacy]

no because i dont think you guys understand how much this art means to me

in the end, you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. you will forever stand alone.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep1 Musings - Looking for Home: Louis, Claudia & Daciana

They flip between siblings and parent so much even I was getting whiplash--no wonder Lou's confused. U_U

This was EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIL, AMC! 😭 Louis carrying Grace's wedding portrait, and using it to FAKE his identity in Europe, after Grace couldn't even go to Europe for her own honeymoon cuz Paul died--STOP IT! 😭😭

And you can hear just a few quick seconds of the DPDL lietmotif that always plays for Grace, Paul, and sibling!Claudia, before it takes this SUPER dark and ominous tone--the song has been tainted, just like Lou's relationship with Grace and Claudia was tainted.

Go AWF, Claudia!

And then she finds ONE, and it was so heartbreakingly touching.

I was hoping she was Alessandra, but nope, she's an AMC!OC, Daciana. I'm assuming they were nodding to one rando revenant:

And she is obviously the same "Anna" the kids were singing about--(very Gaunter O'Dimm of them, I love it 💀)--living like frikkin Baba Yaga in a grimy castle in the woods.

Daciana killed her own fledgling after Claudia blinded him--after the revanant AND Daciana attacked them first, but whatever. Cuz she said he wouldn't be able to hunt/feed with no eyes--so it can't heal; her fledglings are too effed up. She's officially the last one in the area.

And I get it now--the bear(?) head Claudia breaks off of the dead vampire's sarcophagus was a heraldric figurehead. Claudia showed it to Daciana, as a way of asking her who that dead vamp was.

She didn't want to tell them her story or hear theirs--but she wanted them to know about Cezare Romulo (RIP). (It's crazy how in 5 minutes The Vampire Daciana was way more effective than a whole hour of Dierdre Mayfair. 🙄😒) She complimented Claudia's blood, saying it tasted like the cream of the crop. Daciana only told them her name, and that she was waiting for her children--fledglings or real ones, who knows (I bet both).

Only for Daciana to kill herself right in front of them (RIP). 😔🔥

This is so sad, but it was obvious she was gonna do that.

Stop teasing the Children of Darkness after this Alessandra fake-out. She's got the same darkness in her that Nicki (AND Louis) had. And we know where that means. 🔥💀🔥

These vampires are STARVING--hungry for family, love, home: LIFE.

So is Claudia! 😭😭😭 She wants a blood spouse! She wants a companion!

So I LOVE that Morgan clocked Louis on Grace's photo--that ain't yo wife! The gaydar was beeping the second your pretty arse walked in!

Like, it's been established that Louis is a terrible liar-you don't need an investigative journalist to figure that much out. Louis is TOO honest--he was dumb AF for telling Morgan his real name! I get why he did it in the book--again: desperate to make a connection.

But on the show it comes across way different--Louis almost immediately tells Morgan his name (he doesn't do that for Emilia, even though SHE called him pretty! Istg I was picking up some flirtatiousness with Lou & Morgan; put those pheromones AWAY 😂). But you come across MIGHTY SUS if your Black arse is going around switching identities on all these twitchy Europeans, Louis!

Like baaaaaasicallllllyyyyyyy!!! 🤦 You see them shooting up corpses just to make sure--you think they won't shoot YOU!?!

Anyways, it's so cool that they made Morgan a photographer--so is THIS why Louis starts taking photos!? 🤩📸

Cuz I've been wondering how Louis makes money in Paris so they don't have to pickpocket anymore?

I love that they included this.

No matter where they go, they have to pose as Black servants and maids and VALETS and SLAVES, white folk are the same regardless of the country.

Which was an interesting parallel with Daciana, and how much they were hyping up America.

She was clearly nuts, but smart & sane enough to realize that 2 (two!) Black vampires had fled their oh-so-great "land of the free" to come to HER busted AF blown up war-torn country, so why should she expect to have any happiness over there?

I don't know a lick of Romanian, but I wonder if the "another one" she was referring to was the soldier, or the country. As Daciana realized that no matter who she made her new fledgling, and no matter which country she ran to, she'd be alone & unhappy without the people she loved--her HOME.

Home is where the HEART is! Claudia's been homeless this whole time! Daciana's got that huge castle, but lives all alone--she can't make proper fledglings. Meanwhile Louis still thinks NOLA is home, even after they killed everyone who knew them--"including" Lestat!

*sigh* I hate this effing show, it's so dang good. 😭

[zhakyria]

I had the chance to commission Kahl'ryn from @psychededoodle. I have no words for how much I love this. Everything, all the details, the expression, the scar, the cybernetics, everything is so well done!!

And with this amazing portrait - I'm gonna talk a bit about Kahl and what he is up to in my Arclight AU. So... some rambling thoughts under the cut. :)

For reference: The Arclight AU is a melting pot of various sci-fi franchises. Star Wars, Farscape, WildStar, Star Trek, to just name a few. However, the core of it is Star Wars. A lot of the universe rules are Star Wars rules - such as how space travel works and the Force.

The major players from Star Wars include: the Galactic Empire, the Mandalorians, the Sith Empire, the Chiss Ascendancy, the High Republic, and the Grysk Hegemony.

Much like swtor!Kahl, arclight!Kahl was born in the Sith Empire. His father is the (now former) Sith Lord Xhai'tan. He was trapped in a burning building when he was a child, which is how he got the burn scars. He joined the Imperial Academy and joined Imperial Intelligence upon graduating. Some of his first missions included hunting down terrorists and stopping Darth Jadus. For his double agent arc however, he didn't infiltrate the SIS.

In Arclight the Sith Empire is mostly at odds with the Dominion from WildStar. So, Kahl is tasked with infiltrating the Dominion and carrying out his mission there. The Star Cabal is still a threat and Kahl eventually dismantles it.

Now things really start to diverge. You see, most everything from Shadow of Revan onward doesn't happen. So how does my boy meet Theron?

I made the executive decision that since the Republic isn't the same Republic as in swtor and isn't the power in direct conflict with the Sith Empire, that Theron would instead be from the Dominion. ((I know, I know, not the best allegory if you know anything about the Dominion - like they live up to their name. Does make it way easier for Theron to defect though.))

Then I needed the catalyzing event. Enter the Dread Masters. They were imprisoned by the Dominion, but they escape but with Emperor Vitiate dead (did I mention that? no? So, yeah Emperor Vitiate does die, and after a short war between the Sith, Acina comes out on top and takes the Throne - this is also the time of Malgus's first betrayal,) they go rogue.

Kahl is called in to help with the situation by Lana and she eventually wrangles the help of Theron in tracking and defeating the Dread Masters. Much like in Shadow of Revan, Kahl and Theron grow close.

Then the tradegy of Grismara happens. For those unfamiliar with WildStar. Grismara was home to the Mordesh. A elf-like species who were masters of science, alchemy, and art. They were arrogant and proud, sure of their own superiority. That was until the Everlife Elixir, developed by their most lauded scientist became their curse. The Everlife was meant to give immortality, and they trusted Dr. Lazarin so much that it was distributed worldwide. Then the Everlife became the Contagion. Everyone (and the lore implies everyone) slowly turned into super aggressive mindless cannibals (basically zombies).

Grismara was a neutral world on the edge of Sith and Dominion borders. Both sides were trying to ally with them, but when the Contagion broke out - the Sith turned their back on the world and the Dominion set up a blockade and quarantined it.

Kahl and Theron disobeyed orders to try and help the Mordesh. During that terrible year long attempt at saving the Mordesh, Dr. Lazarin made a small break through. He created the Vitalis Serum, which delayed the effects of the Contagion, but also required frequent injections. The remaining Mordesh were trapped in a half-life. They no longer age (they got their immortality) but they also are unable to have children unless a cure can be found.

Kahl and Theron organized for the last of the Mordesh, to escape. Taking them to the Odessen Coalition. A small and new coalition of planets that came together with the help of Xhai'tan (Kahl's father) and Thrass (who is alive and rescued by Xhai'tan - That is another books of thoughts so if you are curious about how Thrass fits in here feel free to ask.)

With the fall of Grismara, Kahl and Theron defect and join the Coalition. Kahl eventually commanding a heavy cruiser as part of the Maarasu Nighthunters - the Odessen Defense Force division in charge of covert operations and missions that take place beyond the borders of the Coalition. It is Kahl who finds Thrawn and Ezra where they have been stranded for 7 years (again another book of thoughts that I can talk about later). Kahl then goes on to support Thrawn, Thrass, Eli, and the others Chiss fighting to save the Ascendancy.

I'll stop there but....yeah so lots of thoughts.....enjoy!

[sylvan-librarian]

The Last of the Animists: Exploring the Concept of Animism and How it Defines Nissa Revane

Prologue

Since the characterization of Nissa in the Kaladesh block is such a massive undertaking due to the density and quality of material therein, I decided at first to take a little break from my regularly scheduled programming (i.e. - having a public, frenzied, and unhinged obsession with my favorite Magic the Gathering character). However, I couldn’t stay away from the topic entirely, so here we are. 

Introduction

The source of Nissa’s magic, its manifestation within Magic’s lore, and how it is represented mechanically on cards has intrigued me to no end over the years. Mechanically, I always felt that Nissa’s cards stood out more than the other two regularly-printed green planeswalkers (Garruk and Vivien). Garruk and Vivien cards often do what you would imagine a green planeswalker would do: create 3/3 green beast creature tokens, tutor creatures from your library, give overrun effects to your board, etc. The design space across these two characters’ cards always felt limited and uninspired to me. One of the things that intrigued me about Nissa, Worldwaker (read about my love for that card here) when I first encountered it in 2014 was the fact that it played around with lands rather than creatures: it animated lands into beaters, it untapped lands, it fetched lands from its owner’s library. This struck me as a unique, inspired design at the time, and it made me feel excited to use the card.

However, while yes, I have always found Nissa’s skillset a unique design for green planeswalkers – a fact that makes the desparkening all that much more disappointing to me – my primary interest in Nissa’s magic as a deranged Vorthos is how it is described in and displayed throughout the stories. 

Nissa, as we are often told in post-“Nissa, Worldwaker” stories, is the last of the animists, a rare type of mage on Zendikar who can hear the voice of the world itself, but the plane of Zendikar rarely had anything nice to say; in “Nissa's Origin: Home,” Nissa’s mother, Meroe says that the soul of the land, which so often is a source of terrible nightmares for Nissa, “was never after anything other than random destruction.” Animism, we learn, is a taboo brand of magic to the Joraga (the tribe Nissa belongs to), and Numa, the Joraga chieftain, exiles Nissa because he, like many others, believes that the inherent anger of the land is due to some untold, unknown blasphemy enacted on the world by the animists. He tells Meroe, “[y]our people angered Zendikar and they paid the price. There is a reason that you are the last of the animists.” We come to understand that the reason for the plane of Zendikar’s anger is due to the Eldrazi Titans’ imprisonment on it. The world recoils in disgust at the eldritch monstrosities who eternally strive to break free of their imprisonment and consume and pervert every living thing in their way; the plane’s anger feels justified in this light, but almost no one on Zendikar understands this, not even Nissa or her mother. 

So in short, animism in Magic the Gathering is the ability to connect with the soul of the world itself which allows animists like Nissa to (among other things) animate the land itself into living creatures that can fight alongside them. 

However, the concept of animism has meaning beyond the lore of Magic; why did Magic’s designers label Nissa’s powers this way, and how can a real world understanding of animism help us understand Nissa in a new way? 

Part I: The Animation of All Nature 

Animism is a term developed all the way back in the 1870’s by British anthropologist Sir Edward Tylor as a method to describe similarities in “primitive” religions. Let’s take a quick moment to acknowledge that Tylor was a bearded white man living in colonial-era Britain using words like “primitive” to describe the religions and philosophies of people he will never meet, many of whom were currently unwilling subjects of his own government. This is an unfortunate commonality in academic studies. That aside, Tylor’s description of animism gives us our first understanding of this term. He writes in his 1871 anthropological treatise Primitive Culture that “[f]irst and foremost among the causes which transfigure into myths the facts of daily experience, is the belief in the animation of all nature, rising at its highest pitch to personification” (emphasis mine). In other, simpler words, animists personify the natural world, assigning traditionally human traits to immobile objects. The root of the current English word animate, after all, comes from the Latin animus, which means “soul, spirit, mind.” The “animation of all nature,” then, refers to the belief that what we might call objects of the natural world have their own interiority. Tylor writes elsewhere that animism is

[a]n idea of pervading life and will in nature far outside modern limits, a belief in personal souls animating even what we call inanimate bodies, a theory of transmigration of souls as well in life as after death, a sense of crowds of spiritual beings sometimes flitting through the air, but sometimes also inhabiting trees and rocks and waterfalls, and so lending their own personality to such material objects.

Humanity’s relationship to nature, then, becomes that of subject-subject rather than that of subject-object. 

What does this say about Nissa, though? If you’re thinking that the above description is frighteningly similar to how Nissa views the world, you’d be right. While what Tylor argued back in the 1870’s was that animism is a crude belief system that would eventually evolve to the rise of world religions and later on the rejection of religion in rational society, Nissa’s practice of animism is very much alive and vibrant. It is hammered home often that Nissa deeply respects the personhood of objects, whether they be trees, animals, or even the ground itself. We see this very clearly in this long selection from the beginning of the Battle for Zendikar story “The Silent Cry”:

Every day there was something new, something Zendikar taught Nissa that surprised and delighted her. The land had hundreds of magnificent secrets, and it was sharing them with her.   She would never have guessed that the giant mantises secreted a scent meant to simulate the odor of fresh worms and thus attract small song birds—but not for the mantises to prey on, rather for the purpose of enjoying the birds' melodies. The songs were one of the few things capable of lulling the mantises into an easy sleep. Nor would she have known that the vines draped between the close-growing, towering heart trees of the Vastwood Forest were more like arms than vines—arms that were holding hands. Each vine grew out of the trunks of two trees; it did not belong to one tree more than the other, it was shared equally between them, a tether that bound the trees. The vines connected one heart tree with its chosen companion, and allowed the two to share memories, feelings, and dreams. These trees were linked forever; they mated for life. And the gnarlids, the silly, beastly, sneaky gnarlids; they had a ritual that they managed to keep hidden from most everyone else on Zendikar. On the darkest nights, when there was no moon but the skies were clear, the gnarlids scaled the tallest trees, poking their heads above the canopies, and they laughed at the stars. Little breathy snickers that to anyone else listening sounded like nothing more than the leaves of the highest branches rustling in the wind. It was an inside joke meant only for them. Equally as impressive was the tribe of humans who lived in the lowest canopy of the Vastwood's trees—not in a central encampment, but spread out through the expanse of the forest. Five or six humans shared each treehouse hamlet, and there were over a dozen hamlets. The tribe was able to stay well informed of each other's movements and needs thanks to their ancestors, who had closely studied the language of the chatter sloths. The people sent messages to each other by speaking to the nearest chatter sloth. It was only a matter of minutes before the sloth would relate the gossip to its neighbors, who would pass it along through the network of tree dwellers. Soon all humans in the tribe would know of the hamlet's news thanks to the little gossipmongers.

It’s important here that Nissa shares equal amazement with the goings on of plants and animals as she does with the ingenuity of her fellow sentient mortals; to her, they are no different. To Nissa, the “animation of all nature” is not some crude, outdated philosophy that has been surpassed by rationality. It is her everyday reality. 

Of course, however, Magic the Gathering is a game of wizards battling each other, and its worlds and characters are full of wonder and, well, magic. The “animation of all nature” has another meaning to Nissa in that she can call out to the interior soul of immobile objects and, in a non-metaphorical way, personify them … as in, she can “animate” objects into living, walking, thinking, fighting creatures with a will of their own. In the first story of the Zendikar Rising arc, “In the Heart of the Skyclave,” Nissa and Nahiri, looking for a specific object of interest, are at a loss at which place to begin hunting for it in a giant, city-sized airborne dungeon when Nissa spots a lone fern:

Nissa crouched down to one of the ferns. Its leaves were as large as she was, but its flowers were tiny, delicate, and blue. "How is it possible for plants to thrive here?" Nahiri asked, coming up behind her. Nissa smiled. "You'd be surprised at how many things thrive in unlikely places on this plane." "How—" Nahiri began to speak again, but Nissa tuned her out. She rested a hand on the top of the fern, like a parent's hand on the head of a child. She closed her eyes and felt its life under her fingers, felt its struggle and its pride in surviving in such a foreboding place. Nissa smiled at that strength and that pride. And she called it forth. She heard Nahiri give a gasp as the elemental emerged into existence. It was a tall thing, twice her height, green and vibrant as its life force, its head a mass of fronds with small chains of blue flowers entwining its arms and neck.

The dual meaning of the “animation of all nature” is on display here. Nissa very clearly acknowledges the personhood of the fern, using terms usually reserved for descriptions of the lives of people like struggle and pride, and at the same time she animates the stationary fern into a creature, a person with a will of its own and strength to match. In the end, many elements of the Zendikar Rising arc were lacking, but I always found this particular scene to be a wonderful marriage of the best parts of Magic story: great character moments tied together with a childlike wonder at the beauty and power of magic.

Part II: Infinite Possibilities

Anthropology, however, has moved far beyond its Victorian, colonialist roots. On the same note, Nissa has grown and expanded far beyond the borders of what she previously was.

In 2006, anthropologist Tim Ingold published an essay titled Rethinking the Animate, Re-Animating Thought that reevaluates the concept of animism (there are, of course, many evolutionary steps between the philosophies of 1871 and those of 2006, but for the purposes of this piece, suffice it to say that things have changed). Ingold’s primary thesis is that animism should be considered less of a primitive branch of religious thought and more of an ontological philosophy, an experience of being present in the world. In his research, Ingold provides this anecdote:

One man from among the Wemindji Cree, native hunters of northern Canada, offered the following meaning to the ethnographer Colin Scott. Life, he said, is ‘continuous birth.’ I want to nail that to my door! It goes to the heart of the matter. To elaborate: life in the animic ontology is not an emanation but a generation of being, in a world that is not pre-ordained but incipient, forever on the verge of the actual. One is continually present as witness to that moment, always moving like the crest of a wave, at which the world is about to disclose itself for what it is.

This is a lot to unpack, but let’s use this to point out the similarities and differences between the previous 1871 understanding of animism. Like Tylor’s initial exploration of the concept, Ingold’s animists still treat the world around them with same respect and reverence; they still, in other words, still interact with the world with a subject-subject relationship instead of a more rational subject-object relationship. However, instead of fixating on the spiritual aspects of animism (i.e. - the inherent soul of inanimate objects), this modern take is more of a state of being, a practice of actively engaging with the world around you. 

Ingold, in other places, argues that, while yes, animism intentionally blurs the line between what is considered ‘alive’ and what is not, the true cornerstone of an animist ontology is the process of change:

Wherever there is life there is movement … The movement of life is specifically of becoming rather than being, of renewal along a path rather than displacement in space. Every creature, as it ‘issues forth’ and trails behind, moves in its characteristic way. The sun is alive because of the way it moves through the firmament, but so too are the trees because of the particular ways their boughs sway or their leaves flutter in the wind, and because of the sounds they make in doing so.

An animist, then, in this ontology is in a responsive, conversational relationship with the world around them. They wouldn’t fixate, for example, on the personhood of a tree, but they would know how to have a positive, symbiotic relationship with the tree.

What does this new way of looking at animism have to do with Nissa Revane, though? It seemed like Tylor’s outdated definition of animism already had both Nissa’s worldview and the manifestation of her magic pegged down. What could be added? Well, like the definition of animism, like this “world that is not pre-ordained but incipient, forever on the verge of the actual,” Nissa herself has changed drastically in recent years.

If I had the time and bandwidth, I might set out to argue that, of all Magic’s heroes in the last decade, Nissa has gone through the most character growth of any of them; she has shifted through the most colors and she has gone through the most development of any other planeswalker. However, for the purposes of this piece, I’m going to focus on the most recent story (to date) that Nissa has appeared in: Grace P. Fong’s “She Who Breaks the World.” Now, I’ve made it no secret that this is my favorite piece of Magic fiction since the Ixalan days, so I’m certainly biased here, but the narrative meat in this text is rich and vibrant.

When we pick back up with Nissa in “She Who Breaks the World,” we find her at likely the lowest point we have ever seen her at. Her agonies are manyfold at this point. To start, she is still reeling from the unbearable trauma of what the Phyrexians did to her. She had set out with a strike team of her planeswalker allies to stop the Phyrexian invasion of the multiverse, but upon their failure, Nissa, along with many of the others, were captured. Her mind was chemically altered against her will to be utterly, completely submissive to the will of Elesh Norn (the Phyrexian leader, if this essay somehow reaches beyond the MTG sphere). Similarly, her body (again, against her will) was then chemically and mechanically altered to be more in line with the Phyrexian understanding of perfection. Then, Norn used Nissa’s body, mind, and animist powers to launch an invasion of the entire multiverse; Nissa ended up being instrumental in this process because it was her animist abilities that allowed Norn to directly control the Invasion Tree.

Nissa was eventually freed from the Phyrexians’ control in the aftermath of the war, her mind given back to her, and as much of the grafted metal removed from her body as could safely be removed. However, no level of healing could “cleanse the memories of what she had done” while her mind was under the domination of Phyrexia. She understandably has trouble forgiving herself for what she did, whether she had agency in the act or not.

Secondly, if that wasn’t bad enough, after she woke up with her mind intact, she discovered that she had lost her planeswalker spark. While she is not alone in this (all of the other planeswalkers currently on Zhalfir aside from Chandra lost theirs as well), it hits Nissa particularly hard because, for one Nissa has always had a deep connection to her home world of Zendikar, and secondly, Zhalfir is full of people she tried to ruthlessly kill while under the influence of Phyrexia. She cut down in cold blood dozens, if not hundreds, of these survivors’ friends and family. While the surviving Mirrans and Zhalfrins understand that she did not have control of herself during this time and forgave her, Nissa does not feel incredibly comfortable living around people she so directly harmed. She is restlessly homesick with no feasible way to get home and stuck with people she doesn’t feel worthy enough to be around. Furthermore, Nissa’s planeswalker powers are integral to the identity she has created for herself. This sense of self is just one more thing she has lost.

And lastly, there is the issue with Chandra. While they were technically a romantic couple after they kissed at the end of the previous March of the Machines story, “The Rhythms of Life,” things are still far from well between them. Apart from the tremendous guilt and shame Nissa feels from what she did to Chandra during the Phyrexian story arc (Nissa almost killed Chandra multiple times, one time even impaling her), both of them are still dealing with the fallout of their breakup as described in War of the Spark: Forsaken (even typing the name of that book makes me feel ill). Nissa wonders if Chandra can ever love her the way she needs and if that is even a reasonable thing to ask of her after all the two of them have recently gone through.

While this was a long, drawn-out summary, I think it was necessary to show what Nissa is going through on the cusp of her metamorphosis. The depression she is feeling along with what could probably be described as PTSD has left her stuck in the past. She laments the fact that she no longer hears the voice of nature. The leyline songs are completely silent, and when she calls out to the soul she knows dwells in all the objects in the world around her, nothing answers. She assumes this is punishment for what the Phyrexians made her do. 

She’s wrong, however. Nissa and Chandra finally have a moment of understanding between the two of them, and as a part of this intimate moment, Nissa finally admits that her animist power no longer work; when Chandra expresses surprise at this, Nissa responds,

"They won't listen to me. I tried. Many times. But when I call out to them, it's like my voice isn't my own. Like it belongs to Phyrexia instead, like everything I've ever connected to is drowning me out." For once, Chandra pauses. "You know," she concludes. "You have good connections, too." "What do you mean?" "It's true—you did bad things while they had you. But everyone you've connected with over the years with the Gatewatch, we're just happy you're still here. With us." Chandra sets fire to a chunk of moist dirt that was about to fall on Nissa, turning it into a soft rain of ash. "With me." For the first time since she awoke in Zhalfir, Nissa smiles. Chandra, sweet Chandra, even if she doesn't realize it, has always understood and explained emotions better than Nissa ever could. Chandra continues, "Your connections aren't drowning your voice, Nissa. They're changing it into something new, maybe something even more powerful. Infinite voices, infinite possibilities, right?" Infinite possibilities. Nissa offers her hand to Chandra. "All right, let's try." Gripping Chandra's fingers in hers, Nissa closes her eyes. She retreats inward and listens for her inner voice. It's hard, much harder than before, but Chandra is dutifully helping her concentrate, blasting the falling rock away before it can reach her.

Nissa is greeted by ringing deep in her ears, but she refuses to be deterred. With her connections in mind, she picks the static apart into unique melodies, the individual songs she picked up from all around the Multiverse. She arranges them, harmonizes them, and this time, when she calls to Zhalfir, her voice is amplified in chorus. She offers an apology. The plane answers. It too was cut off from everything it knew, from the connections it had made. It, too, was scarred by Phyrexia and is growing into something new. It forgives her, and Nissa can finally forgive herself. Magic floods her flesh, her blood, her bone. She hears Chandra laugh, delighted by their success.

I could literally talk forever about this scene, how it is also a marriage of everything I love about Magic Story, but let’s zero in on how Nissa’s change in perspective is similar to how animism has changed meanings over the past one-hundred and fifty years.

In the same way that Tylor was fixated on how “primitive” he felt animism was, how it was just a cultural stepping stone on the way to enlightenment, Nissa remained fixated on her animist powers. To her, the voices of the natural world were oftentimes more real to her than the voices of her friends. The songs of the leylines, the elementals she could animate with a whisper, the power she wielded in defense of the worldsoul … To Nissa, these were all in all.

However, what Nissa learns from Chandra in the climax of “She Who Breaks the World'' is to accept that life is exactly what Ingold calls a “continuous birth.” Nissa embraces this conversational relationship with the world around her, and nature is no longer all in all to her. Hand in hand with Chandra, Nissa now lives “in a world that is not pre-ordained but incipient, forever on the verge of the actual,” as Ingold puts it, and a world of “infinite possibilities,” as Fong puts it.

As the definition of real-world animism has shifted over the years, so too has Nissa’s magical animism. She used to obsess over her connection with nature with religious fervor, and even though Nissa worshiped no gods, her devotion to the soul of the world around her was stronger than many devout worshippers on Theros. However, in “She Who Breaks the World,” Nissa learns to recognize that she, and the rest of the world around her, is alive because she moves in her own “characteristic way.”

Epilogue

While I have certainly been burned by WotC’s treatment of Nissa in the past, I am cautiously excited for the stories that can now be told about her. Nissa is currently set up to grow and expand in interesting ways, and I hope (beyond hope) that future Magic stories starring Nissa will continue on the path that Fong set her on.

Nissa may be the last of the animists, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be the first of something else. I’m excited to see what that “something else” will be.

Bibliography

Every source quoted in this essay is linked directly before the quote in question. I was too lazy to create a reference page today. Sorry! 😬

[krisslegacy]

oh my god if this isn't true

too many star wars fans do NOT know about Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic

[rubiajieun]

-Lilia Lost His Magic to Hatch Malleus Theory-

Now now, I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY AND IT IS BUT PLEASE HEAR ME OUT

⚠️WARNING ⚠️

SPOILER'S FOR CHALTER 7, TWST JP AND CHAPTER 7 PART 3

Do not proceed if you don't wish to be spoiled

So in the recent/not so recent update on Chapter 7/Book 7 we got quite a lot of info dumped on us one of them being Malleus age, His Parent's and the war that was happening

In short summary the dream/timeline the diashakle group are in is about 500+ year's ago when a war happened between a human kingdom and Briar Valley

But surprised surprise! Malleona (Malleus Mother) has been taking care of her egg and guess again? That right Malleus in real time is only in his 100! I forgot what age princely but it's in 100's

So making the timeline not make sense at all (but then again Silver baby this is a dream after all)

We get confirmation that Malleona was a Princess and is Malleus Grandmother Maleficia's Daughter and only child

So here is the theory that starts it

As we all know and if you haven't read my Crowley is Malleus Father in order for a fea egg to Hatch it needs the live of both parents and magic to hatch

Lilia reveal that Malleus father (His name is Levan or Revan) had gone missing while going to attempt to get into an agreement with the Silver Owl People

Whom all messengers from them have gone also missing

After leaving Malleona to try and stop this war he himself went missing and never returned

This is why Lilia travels because he has hopes that he is alive as he was childhood friends with both and was taken in by Maleficia herself (basically like an adopted brother to Malleona)

So with that being said and Levan being missing, there is only so much Malleona can do other than give her half of her love as she can't fill in what Malleus father's part and use as much magic as she can

With that being said again you can't just hatch an egg with just pure Magic it's really hard to do that because the child needs to know that it's loved in order to hatch

So at some point during this war it seems that Mal's mother passes away AKA she gets murdered

With no one not even his parents being able to hatch him I can see that his kingdom lost all hope maybe even his grandmother lost all hope that their only hope and sole heir may never hatch

Now this were Lilia comes in

What if while all hope is lost Lilia makes on final sacrifice

One final attempt to bring hope back to his home, the home if his beloved friends the Queen that even tho6she had no need to take him in she did and now lost her only daughter

Like the say "You can have everything in life, Sacrifice's need 5o be made in order to achieve"

An eye for and eye

A leg for a leg

A tooth or a tooth

And life for another magic that gives life

(magic is like breathing to fea giving that up is like suicide)

And so he used all his magic to hatch Malleus and maybe potentially had to learn to love Mal to hatch him

But if he didn't let's say he did it with just magic

Then that would mean the oh so great general Lilia

Has made a miracle happen!

A pure miracle

It was a sacrifice but at what coast?

He surely doesn't regret it he is sure his beloved friend Malleona is happy

He is sure his beloved friend Levan is also happy even though deep in his heart he wants him to still be alive

And so that could also explain Malleus and Maleficia's attachment to Lilia

Maybe this just why he is someone Maleficia trust absolutely

Because he gave her a miracle when all hope was lost

While for Malleus is because Lilia literally raised him and hatched him

Imagine baby Malleus in his egg receiving all the love and magic from his parents only for literal 500 to pass without it and no birth suddenly magic comes in and you get out

You would expect to see the parents that took care of you for while you were in the egg only to be met with no one

No one but one man

That man being the one that give Malleus egg magic so he could hatch

Like I said maybe this is the reason Lilia lost his magic

He lost was is like breathing to him in order to bring a life to this world

And no matter what he doesn't regret it heck he would probably do it all over again if he could

[hythlodaes]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love💗 (hi gigi MWAH!)

tysm azia <333 this got a lil long, but it was so fun and encouraging !!!

In Your Blood - Emile/Estinien

“Concern yourself naught, Warrior of Light, just up ahead here.” He gestures to one of the towers before them, its silhouette rising in the dark. They don’t speak as they ascend the steps that wind up the perimeter, but they make quick work of the climb with their long strides. At the top, the whole world opens to them, a sea of forgotten ruins under the moonless night, still shining, still alive. 

A feeling rises in Emile’s chest, something like awe that trembles through him with the cold. It loosens the weight in the back of his mind, and the two of them stand together, shoulder to shoulder, leaning over the stone parapet. He looks over at Estinien, ponytail swaying with the breeze, clear eyes lined in silver—he’s like a ghost, like something came back to life but only halfway, and it makes sense somehow, the whisper of him, starlight tracing the hard line of his lips. For a second, for just one fleeting moment, Emile wonders what it would be like to meet his mouth with his own. 

On Your Mind - Emile/Estinien

It’s like this:

There are kisses that burn, ones full of desire and need—all consuming and powerful. There are kisses meant to comfort, ones that feel safe, that say, I can’t fix this, but I’m here with you. And then there are kisses like this, that happen in simple moments, that come merely from sharing space together, with only one real meaning behind it. 

Emile parts his mouth against his, lingering in the fading but still warm sun, and this kiss feels like home. 

I love you, comes to mind so, so easily. 

Until We Get It Right - Emile/Estinien

He thinks Emile’s the only person that knows this side of him. He’s the only person he’d let see this side of him. They’re in this together, and sometimes that feels like a vow of its own. They’re married to their vengeance, and they will see it through or they will die—they would rather walk through hell than leave the crimes against them unanswered.  

It’s something only they can understand now, and as much as they rile against each other, it binds them together. 

This Fire is Bound to Burn - Emile/Estinien

“Emile,” he says, his voice like gravel, and it’s then that he tilts his head up to meet his gaze. He doesn’t say anything else, and all they can do is watch each other as the silence continues to fill the space between them and wear at Emile’s heart. I’m trying to understand, he wants to say, always this same feeling again and again, and tonight it sits heavily within him. He clings to it, searching Estinien’s gray eyes dulled by the night, but the answer is still just out of reach. 

Estinien’s shoulders deflate, and the moment passes. Still, a small smile pulls at the corners of his lips. “Goodnight.” 

Please. 

Emile nods. “Goodnight.” 

Ivy and Twine - Revan/Malak

She doesn't know what to say, but it doesn't matter. Malak reaches over, his hand finds hers in the dim light, and he threads their fingers together. Her heart continues to pound away, and this is it, isn't it? This is the now before the never.

Finally, Revan looks at him. His eyes are steady on her, but they narrow when she curls her legs up so she can kneel beside him on the couch. She brings her other hand up to meet their embrace, and the dark covers him as her fingertips ghost over his cool skin, stretching out his fingers so she can line hers up with his, palm to palm.

"Tell me" she says, and don't his eyes look so dark right now? The shadows pool in the hollow spaces of his skin but she can see the intensity in his stare. "Please...just tell me what I'm missing."

[keldae]

Tagged by the incomparable @dingoat -- thank you! <3

3 ships

Right now, to nobody's surprise, Gale/Devi is eating my soul. On paper, they shouldn't work -- he's an educated, wealthy, powerful mage (who makes very poor life choices), and she's a much-younger-than-him thief who grew up as an urchin on the streets of Baldur's Gate, whose only "acceptable" skill is playing a violin (apparently pickpocketing and stabbing people aren't considered widely acceptable or desirable skills?). But in all the ways that really count, they are compatible -- they're protective of each other and their friends, and Devi's street-smarts balance out Gale's book/arcane knowledge, and her feisty-ness is another counter to his more balanced way of dealing with things (read: he's 90% of her impulse control). I suppose opposites DO attract! ;)

Theron/Xaja has lived in my brain ever since Shadow of Revan dropped, in canon-verse and in at least two AU's. Theron definitely brought out a side of Xaja that isn't necessarily a proper Jedi side to show, but it's definitely her -- she's also feisty, and protective, and she's got a snarky streak to her that sings to Theron's soul. And she loves Theron's devotion to the cause, and his intelligence, and his wit.

(also, looking at Xaja and Devi... apparently I've got a TYPE when it comes to my main characters in RPGs. You should take a look at my canon Warden from DAO sometime, Lynaen... who ALSO is a redheaded dual-wielding rogue with a healthy dose of snark. At least she was raised a Cousland and didn't spend time learning how to pickpocket on the streets like the other two? #roguelifeFTW)

And I gotta talk about Reanden/Mairen too. They started on a bit of a whim when @andveryginger and I decided to throw them together for a couple of one-off kiss prompts, annnnnd now they run a good chunk of our respective brains (Reanden likes to hang out in Ginger's head a lot). Mai (Ginger's) loves Reanden's intelligence, and his dedication to his kids and the Republic, and the compassionate, caring streak he has under his sociopathic facade. And he's got a type for snarky redheaded Corellian Jedi ladies -- the fact that Mai loves his kids like they're her own, and doesn't think less of him for his rare moments of vulnerability, means the galaxy to him.

First Ship

Oh man -- my very first OTP was Faramir/Eowyn from LOTR, ever since I first read the books at the ripe old age of 12 years old, and it's STILL one of my favourite ships. I think, even 20 years ago, I was seeing myself in Eowyn (as a female character, as one who wanted to fight and seek out renown, as one who, as I would discover later on in my own life, had a bucketload of mental health problems to the tune of depression), and wanted my own Faramir (gentle, noble, compassionate, intelligent). So a bit of projection there? ;) The first ship I wrote... well, I'd started a girl-falls-into-Middle-earth fic in high school, and the endgame goal was my OC with Legolas, but looking back on it now, I think my OC may have had more chemistry with Boromir. Either way, that fic has been abandoned for like 15 years -- I ain't bringing it back out to resurrect it. ;)

Last Song

According to Spotify, "Master Of Illusion" by Battle Beast! If/when I come up with a Gale playlist, that song's going on it.

Currently Reading

"Tress of the Emerald Sea" by Brandon Sanderson. I'm not too far into it, but so far I'm enjoying it! (Also, I LOVE Sanderson's writing style, and the little bits of snark he peppers in there. Current favourite line: "... he had a jaw so straight that it made other men question if they were.")

Last Film

In theatres -- "Argylle", which I enjoyed! I wouldn't class it as a "favourite" movie, but it was fun! At home (read: at Chez Boyfriend), it was "RED" -- that's one of my favourites. Bruce Willis and Karl Urban snarking at each other... =D (Karl is also my faceclaim for Reanden, and that movie was a big inspiration!)

Currently Craving

Nothing at the moment! I have my coffee and I have a big-ass Costco-sized muffin that I'm working on before I go for my tattoo appointment. (Also, Part 1 of my tax return came in last week... I could get ALL the groceries, thank God! Part 2 is dropping on Thursday, for all the backpay after the CRA applied the ADHD disability credit to my previous years... I legit cried when I saw that number. I can afford to get my car fixed, AND get this new tattoo, AND a haircut, AND maybe, I don't know, throw something into a retirement fund!)

Tagging, if you wish: @greyias @storyknitter @nayci @elveny @abysskeeper @auroraesmeraldarose

[bl0rbohandbag]

inhale.

I'm gonna cry because there's so much part 4 introduced to the story and we have TOO MUCH going on already. We have the exploration of familial love with Malleus, Lilia and Silver, Lilia quitting NRC and losing his magic, Silver's feelings on the matter of his father and also his mysterious origins and how that might be the key to defeat Malleus, we have Malleus' plethora of trauma, putting everyone to sleep an DEPRIVING MC THE CHANCE TO GO HOME AFTER THEY EXCITEDLY TOLD HIM THEY MIGHT FINALLY GO BACK!!!!!!, Lilia's past and introduction of Baal aka Sebek's grandfather, Sebek having to face discrimination from his own grandpa leading to eventual self-reflection on the prejudice/disdain he has for himself and for humans, war against human and fae, Mallenoa dying, Levan disappearing and Malleus staying unborn in an egg for years, the silly little quirky possibility Crowley might be Levan...................... And we barely just started.

Anyways.

Do you think Crowley is (or was, before going snore mimimimimi bc of malleus) even searching a way home for Yuu?

He's always embarrassed, evading the question whenever they bring it up. We mostly assume it's because of his overall personality or the way he treats his responsibilities as headmaster and the students, but isn't there something deeper to that? Does he actually not want Yuu to go home for some reason, so the "i'm an incompetent lil bird uwu" thing he has going on is the perfect excuse to cover it up?

Chapter 7 has me wondering about that a lot, more so after the Crowley is Levan/Revan theories. I forgot how sus he actually is. Also wondering if Yuu is going to be relevant towards the end of this chapter, it seems they'll be. It brings us back to the very first questions that arose when the game first came out: Why did Yuu come to Twisted Wonderland? Why NRC? Why were they together with Grim?

It's old news, people have made plenty of theories around MC, Grim and Crowley but it feels particularly relevant to me now. With so many plot lines in one episode I wonder if they're going to give Crowley or MC some sort of spotlight to explore their own respective stories, or at least touch on it. Obviously MC is gonna stick around for a while because we'll have more episodes in the future. In Crowley's case, though, him being the twisted version of Maleficent's crow, Diaval, it makes a lot of sense for him to get some exposure in this chapter.

exhale.

[practically-an-x-man]

Through the Haze

gift for @negative-speedforce (Merry Christmas!!) Characters: Moon Hyun-Ki and Jessica Wells (both Revan's OCs) Word Count: 2.4k Content Warnings: heavy hypnotism/mind control themes, mentions of needles ____

"What would you say is the most important thing you've gained from being a part of SoulSong?"

"It's how I met Jessi," Hyun-Ki answered at once, the words tumbling from his mouth almost before the question was finished, "As joyful as it's been to travel the world and sing for millions of people, it's even more joyful to know I have her waiting for me when I come home."

Something twinged in the back of his mind, even as he spoke the words. They weren't... wrong, exactly: he loved Jessi with everything he had, so much that he felt the the entire world could've been held in her cupped palms, but hadn't there been a time when music was the most important part of his life? He loved his craft. He loved his bandmates. He loved seeing the sights, visiting a hundred cities and watching millions of fans share his love of music.

But he loved Jessi more.

When had he started loving Jessi more?

The reporter scrawled a few notes into his notepad, nodding vigorously. It was hardly a moment before he was back up, once again jabbing a microphone into Hyun-Ki's face. He was... more intense than the others usually seemed to be. There was a strange look on his face, oddly focused. It made Hyun-Ki's head spin. These interviews always did.

Come to think of it, his head always felt a little foggy. Just a little, hardly enough to notice when he was focused on something he knew well - like performing. But these media specials, the flood of questions and flashing lights, just seemed to move too fast for him.

Maybe he was overtired. He'd spent a long time performing. Perhaps he was due for a break.

"You and Jessi... the tabloids are all over it, I must say. They love you. But nobody's quite sure exactly how you two ended up together... so, any details you'd be willing to share?"

"It was all... very sudden. You could say it was an instant attraction," he answered, fighting hard to keep from grimacing. His head hurt. "I'm sorry, that's all I'm willing to share at this time. We'd like to keep our relationship private."

"That's understandable." the journalist agreed, scratching out a few notes as he spoke. Hyun-Ki wondered how he could manage it. His mind could barely navigate one thought at a time, let alone several. "Especially in the modern world, couples are more and more encouraged to bare their relationships to the limelight. I find it almost refreshing to see you and Jessica choosing to maintain your privacy."

"Thank you." he responded, unsure of what else to say.

"But, if you don't mind me asking..." the older man continued, clearing his throat to dispel the faint croak in his voice. Sudden panic danced up Hyun-Ki's spine. What was he about to ask? Something personal? Something he wouldn't- couldn't answer?

"Some of your fans have noticed a bit of a... a shift in your sense of humor recently." the journalist finally continued, and Hyun-Ki fought to shift his mind back into gear.

"My sense of humor?"

"Yes, well, a lot of SoulSong fans were drawn in by your- your wit. The found your sarcasm unique compared to the general climate of the K-Pop scene. And now... well- excuse me, sir, but these same fans are now saying you've softened."

"Softened?" Hyun-Ki repeated, though he mentally kicked himself for parroting exactly what the interviewer had said.

"It's left them wondering if you've lost interest in performing with SoulSong going forward."

"No!" he blurted, too fast, before he could stop himself. SoulSong was his passion, his world. What did he have if he couldn't perform? If he couldn't create?

He had Jessi. She was his world too.

Did he have to choose? He couldn't choose. He'd fallen head-over-heels in love with performing when he was young, when he'd seen his first live concert. And he'd fallen head-over-heels in love with Jessi six months ago. But it felt like years. It felt like he'd been with her his whole life. It felt like she was his whole life.

"I apologize for my outburst," Hyun-Ki muttered, trying to recover, "No, I fully intend to keep performing with SoulSong. Music is my passion, I couldn't walk away from that if I tried."

"I understand. And... other fans have been worried about your mental health? I've seen many concerns related to depression or other mood disorders, especially in the last six months."

He caught a shift of movement out of the corner of his eye, and fought hard not to turn his head. Jessi was lingering in the background, behind the cameras, out of sight. She said she loved to watch him in his element. And how could he refuse her? It wasn't hurting anybody.

"All I'll say is that if there's been any noticeable shift in my behavior, I'm sure it's just related to the stresses of our most recent tour. This is a global tour, as I'm sure you know, and all that travel does become exhausting," he answered, finally managing to string together a response that seemed somewhat coherent, "I apologize for any distress I may have caused my fans."

"They'll be glad to hear that." the reporter agreed, "Now, we're nearly out of time, but I did have one more question for you."

Hyun-Ki was silent, though he gave the journalist a faint nod of encouragement. The older man fumbled for his pockets, tucking the notepad away and instead removing his cell phone. He swiped at the screen for a moment or two, pulling something up.

He'd never seen a reporter reach for their cell phone in the middle of an interview before. Sometimes the lesser-experienced would use their phones to notate, or even to record voice memos for use later, but he'd never seen something like this. It struck him as vaguely unprofessional. No, more than vaguely- it made him wonder, very briefly, if there was something more in play.

Jessi was pacing. She hadn't drawn any nearer, still out-of-sight from the camera's watchful eye, but there was agitation in her movements. She'd noticed the same strangeness he had. Somehow, that both relieved him and doubled his anxiety.

"I'm sorry, I was expecting to have my materials prepared before we began," the reporter muttered, finally finishing with his phone, "There we go. Now, someone's noticed an interesting musical... I suppose you'd call it a riff, in the background of a few of your recent songs. They were wondering if it means, perhaps, bigger things are coming to the future of SoulSong? Perhaps a more thematic album?"

"Thematic meaning...?"

"Well, there's been a fan theory circulating that the next album may revolve around a wider narrative," the journalist continued, "Think Rush's twenty-one twelve album, or Pink Floyd's The Wall. They believe this hidden riff may be foreshadowing what comes next."

"Oh, well- I assure you, any hidden themes are completely unintentional. As far as I'm aware, we haven't hidden anything in our music." Hyun-Ki responded. Jessi was still pacing behind the cameras. It reminded him of a caged lioness, seeing her prey on the other side of the wall, just out of reach.

His head hurt.

"Do you mind if I play you a snippet of the theme? Maybe you could tell us what it is they're hearing. Ease their minds."

"Oh- sure, I suppose. If we have the time for it."

The reporter nodded, then tapped something on his phone. Out floated a stream of grainy, scratchy audio - clearly isolated from the background of a song, marred by static and interference.

It was Jessi's voice- no, darker, dangerous, not hers. But not... not hers. It was her voice, he knew her voice like he knew his own, she was a part of him. But it wasn't. This voice had power. This voice wormed its way into his head, straight into his brain, sound waves drilling like a jackhammer and breaking apart his thoughts.

He knew this song.

He'd never heard this song a day in his life.

Where was he? What was he doing? Bright lights, cameras, this man in front of him... an interview. How had he gotten here?

His heart hurt.

The sound only seemed to grow louder, spilling out of the phone like blood from an open wound. It wouldn't stop. He needed it to stop. He couldn't think.

Jessi. He needed Jessi. He loved her. He loathed her. He'd hardly met her.

Jessi.

Jessi?

The woman he loved. The woman he... the woman he'd recorded a song with. Once. He didn't know her. He'd needed a female voice. People loved the crossover. Not counting lyrics, he'd exchanged hardly a dozen words with her.

But he was here.

This was wrong.

Hyun-Ki was out of his seat before he knew it, so fast the chair tipped backwards and clattered against the linoleum floor. His legs were unsteady - he stuck out a hand and tipped a light stand as he tried to recover his balance. A louder crash. Breaking glass.

"Help me-" he blurted. His thoughts felt sharp, sharper than they'd felt in months. Sharper than they'd felt since... Jessi.

"Help me, please, I don't know what she did but she's got in my head," he stammered, surging up to the reporter and taking him by the shoulders. The man winced, but his eyes were wide with shock and realization. Hyun-Ki noticed but didn't stop. He couldn't stop.

"She's in my head, I'm not- I'm not me, something's wrong and you need to- you need to tell somebody, I never agreed to this, she's-"

"Security!" A woman's voice. Jessi's voice. Panicked. Frightened. It was all an act. He knew it was all an act. He knew she was playing to the cameras.

She said something else. He blocked it from his mind. He had to, or he'd slip back under her spell. He couldn't go back. He'd lost six months... how much more would he lose before she was done with him? How much longer spent in a stupor?

His words tumbled faster, out of control, as if the sound of his own voice could somehow drown out the sound of hers. The reporter now looked panicked, clutching his microphone in both hands like a weapon. He still couldn't stop.

"You were right, the song- it's her, she did something to me... it's not depression and it's not a message it's her it's all her you need to get me out of here I can't-"

Burly arms caught him across the chest, and he was startled enough to gasp. He kicked out on impulse and his feet found metal. The camera listed sideways, bumping a light stand in its path and sending the equipment down like a row of dominoes. All that was left standing was the reporter, still holding his microphone in a white-knuckled grip. He thought he heard Jessi scream, somewhere off in the distance.

Something sharp speared his neck. The word began to blur around him. Lead weights dragged at his limbs, even as he continued to struggle.

"You have to..." Hyun-Ki mumbled, fighting for words as his tongue went slack, "Get me out... away... from her..."

His vision blurred and doubled. He saw a smudge of pink approaching - her, Jessi, her hair - and tried to wriggle away. The arms tightened around him. He couldn't move. His thoughts dispersed into clouds of smoke.

He had to run. He had to leave.

He had to... to...

He had to sleep.

____

He awoke in a bed. His bed. He still felt vaguely blurry. He wished he could sink into the bed and disappear, to find Narnia somewhere between the sheets. The room was too bright around him, and he had to...

Get away he had to get away he had to-

"Hey there," A soft, musical voice greeted him, and calm washed over him like the tide. This was... easier. A gentle hand stroked his hair, eliciting a low, contented sound from him. "Are you feeling any better, sweetheart?"

"Mm." he mumbled, struggling to pull himself up from the fog, "Yeah. Better."

"That's good." Jessi agreed, and he felt the mattress dip as she sat down beside him. She continued to stroke his hair, speaking to him in the same soft voice. It sounded like a lullaby, calming him to sleep as if he were a child. His worries were trickling away, water through a cracked glass. Why had he wanted to get away? He was home. He was with Jessi. He was where he needed to be.

"You had some sort of psychotic break back there," she said, "You scared me. Don't do that again, okay?"

Hyun-Ki could only nod. He barely remembered the event - only that he'd knocked over a light in his panic, and frightened the interviewer. And there was... there was a song...

But with Jessi's voice still floating through the air around him, he couldn't seem to call it to mind.

"I think it's best if you take a break from SoulSong," Jessi was saying. Her voice was cotton, it was candlelight, it was music, and he was so focused on the melody that he almost missed the lyrics.

A break? From SoulSong? His world?

No. Jessi was his world. She was everything.

Why had he been worried?

"Hm. Why?" he managed, daring to open his eyes only to be blinded by sunlight around him. Jessi's fingers trailed down the side of his face, down to his neck, and there she pressed in until it stung. The needle. A sedative. The world blurring around him. He remembered.

"I think this tour's taking a lot out of you. You're exhausted. It's starting to affect your moods. I mean, hell, you went after that reporter like a rabid dog." she said, "So I talked to the other guys, and we all agreed that you need a break for a while."

"Who will...?"

"Sing?" she finished for him, "They'll hire someone to stand in for you. It's only temporary. Everything will be okay."

And he believed her.

He was here with Jessi, and everything would be okay.

[krisslegacy]

sorry to say it but revan was a victim of the sassy man epidemic

[faeseekerandy]

Reply to Music Prompt 8 and 9 by Revan

Prompt 8: And you'll miss the old you, but here's the deal- that good girl you were was really fucking bad at being real.

Character Terra Judas Contract.

Raven had seen everything going on in Terra’s mind, Slade’s plan, Terra’s past, EVERYTHING. That day when she as having a nightmare, when she made contact with her. She also saw something that called her attention. Terra she was having doughts about her feelings for Slade But it wasn’t what she thought. BB was not the first thing on her mind. Terra had a very childish crush on Raven. She was so close, her heart leaped, and her soft fingers touching her face. Her reaction was instant tension.

-Get your hands off me you witch – Terra screamed, full defense off, did she read my mind, did she know?

- I know what you’re planning todo, the judas contract everything, - said Raven while training in the holodeck in Titan Tower. With all the blowing up robots and noice,it was the only chance they had to talk honestly. – I wont tell anyone yet, but you need to tell them what’s going on, this is serious.

You bitch, how dare you look into my thoughts, you had no …. – she said this while throwing a huge rock at raven. The idea of another being prying into her secret thoughts and feeling made her feel dirty inside. Like her mind was not her own.

I could tell from day one that the good girl you were was really fucking bad at being real, said raven, you tell yourself that you love Slade,  you tell yourself that you don’t love me, you tell yourself that you want to be alone, and deep down you know you’re lying to yourself.

Shut up bitch – replied Terra �� You’re keeping secrets too, I know what will happen on the day you finally break, and the destruction that you will cause to everyone around you. You’re a demon much worst than Slade. When the time comes and you finally awaken, will you miss your old self? Or will you feast on the blood of all your so call friends. You and I are more alike than you think.  

9: One thing I like about me is that I'm nothing like you and I never will be.

Rathaway had gained a new hobbie. He discovered that under the right circumstance anything could be a rat.  A racoon? Rat, a bat, rat with wings, a dog? Also a rat. EVERYTHING is a rat , Rathaway told himself and then played his flute, and racoons, dogs, cats bats they all came from all over central city and appeared at his door. Each carrying a jewell, a bill, a watch, whatever was shinny in the city. That was the instruction.  

Its brilliant! There is a rat inside every home with a pet! They are my army gathering all the shinnies. Nobody will miss one jewell going missing every day

Rathaway was licking his chops at how much money he was making. Every night he ordered his “rats” to gather something shinny, some bought back forks and knives, or useless jump but some of them had real gold and silver jewelry. He would feed only the “rats” that had gold and jewels and began to train all the pets of the city to bring him jewelry. Something small that would not be missed.

Obviously it didn’t take Barry and the others to learn what he was doing , it had his MO written all over. They busted in the door and found Rathaway sleeping on a pile of shinny treasures like a huge dragon, completely naked and crying like an infant.

Rathaway WTF, said bary more annoyed than anything, dude this is weird, you haven’t sold anything why are you even doing this. It makes no sense.

I see a lot of rings in this pile, - said rathaway annoyed  - A LOT of rings.

So? – replied barry annoyed

A LOT of rings , where the fuck is mine! – said Rathaway.

Your’s We’re not even toge… - barry was confused

Oh so when we slept together the other night, and those long walks on the beach ( rathaway goes on to describe a huge list of things that never happened )  

Rathaway buddy, you need more self love, you don’t need to do this to get my attention.

Fuck you barry, seriously, am I gonna have to kidnap a bunch of children to get you to notice me? – said an annoyed rathaway, now standing up completely in the nude, everything visible!

Barry blushed and ran to cover his friend, noticing that he was also very very drunk. – barry placing both hands on rathaway’s shoulders said – you need to lover yourself more…

-fuck you too barry – replied rathaway

- that’s not what I mean – replied barry

- what im saying is, find things you love about yourself, work on  yourself, you need to…

- but rathaway interrupted him looking at barry straight in the eyes,

- One thing I like about me is that I'm nothing like you and I never will be., and saying this he kicked barry in the balls and ran away carried by an army of racoons laughing as loudly as he could, HAHAHAHAHA you’re an idiot barry, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH NOTICE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

[pandoraspocksao3]

Blue Envelopes Fanfic list

Below is a listing of stories posted on AO3 by one of my favorite fanfic writers, Blue Envelopes. She’s written so many stories, both Reylo and Star Wars Universe, it’s great to have a list of all of them and their summaries! Click on the link of author Blue Envelopes below to go to her AO3 stories. Enjoy!

Timeline of Stories

blueenvelopes935

Per reader request, here is a timeline organization of my stories.  I plan to update it going forward as new stories are written.  All stories are live on AO3 and fanfiction.net

SITH EMPIRE FICTION:  Dark Side Shenanigans

All those who gain power, fear to lose it.  (Here’s looking at you Marka Ragnos and Carl Veradun.)  But everyone wants to gain power (Hello Darth Malgus, Darth Sion, and Meetra Surik).  And some find power thrust upon them (Darth Bane, Lady Struct).  Beware the pitfalls of power!

On the far side (the Dark Side!) of the galaxy, a hidden Empire of outcasts and inbreds flourishes unbeknownst to the Jedi and the Galactic Republic.  The Sith seek power and they crave love, but mostly they want revenge.  Presiding over it all—whether waiting in the wings, lurking in the background, or taking center stage—is the Sith’ari (?) himself, immortal Sith Emperor Vitiate, the most insecure and peevish Dark Lord ever.

DYAD.  The long lost Sith Empress comes home after a long absence to her husband Marka Ragnos’ Empire and surprise! she’s now a Jedi.  She will take an interest in a young hellion peasant kid she keeps seeing in Force visions. His name is Carl Veradun and he’s the savior of her people.  Too bad her husband wants to kill him.

Four Mothers Chapter 2-Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History.  A Sith Lady flees the Sith Empire for Coruscant to surrender her newborn son to the Jedi High Council.  She seeks mercy and sanctuary for her baby Sith prince.  Teach him the Light, raise him as a Jedi, hide him forever in exile . . . just let little Revenio (Revan) live.

The Prisoner.  Jedi General Meetra Surik beat the Sith Empire, won the Mandalorian War, and saved the Republic.  She was rewarded with disgrace and exile.  She’s a wound in the Force, cut off from the magical power she craves.  Along comes a Sith-in-shining armor who promises to give her the Force back if she will help him overthrow the Sith Emperor and rescue Revan.  How can she refuse?

Taking the Veil.  Carl Veradun, the overpowered peasant who Marka Ragnos feared and the Force favors, has grown up to lead the defeated Sith to glory.  Now an isolated recluse who lives a double life, Darth Tenebrae/Darth Vitiate is paranoid and insecure.  He falls in love with a Temple nun, but a palace coup ruins everything.  

Happy Endings Chapter 1 (Carl & Tosca from Taking the Veil).   A different version of how things might have ended for Carl and Tosca.

Star-crossed.  The baby boy stolen from his mother and smuggled out of the Palace to be exiled in obscurity has grown up.  His name is Gaius Veradun, Darth Malgus and he’s angling to find his place in the Sith Empire.   Malgus mistakenly believes the Jedi are his worst enemy.  He never suspects that his archrival is his own Emperor father.

DARKER.  In the waning days of the Great Galactic War, bored and cynical Darth Malgus falls in love (again), kills a bunch of Jedi, and sacks Coruscant. Will he finally merit Emperor Vitiate’s attention?  Chapter 32 of this fic is my best writing evah.  Maybe just go read it standalone.

Homecoming.  The bored and lonely Sith Emperor has abdicated the Dark throne.  He’s started a new life, a new family, and a new empire.  He’s calling himself Valkorian now.  Time to welcome home the prodigal son he once disdained.  Darth Malgus arrives in carbonite to meet his destiny.

The Apprentice.   The leaderless Sith are collapsing from infighting. They need their self-exiled immortal hero Sith Emperor Vitiate back to sort things out.  Sent on a quest to find him, young Darth Bane finds much more than he plans.

Versions of You.  Darth Vitiate is Rey of Jakku’s father-in-the-Force and Kylo Ren’s nemesis.   He’s been meddling in galactic events for thousands of years now.  But who other than Vitiate can raise the dead and give you a Death Star as a present? (also see Sequel Era fiction)

OLD REPUBLIC FICTION:  Classic Star Wars good guys versus bad guys, Dark versus Light.

The Light has risen . . . and here comes Darkness to meet it.  The Sith Empire is no more, but the Sith endure . . . long live the Sith!  They lurk in the shadows, biding their time and perfecting their plots.

Recalled to Life.  Amnesiac Revan’s life is as complicated and messy as the galactic turmoil he helped to create and his new Jedi minder Bastila Shan is a terrible liar.  This fic is a poor attempt at Revan, but there’s some good bits.

Red.  Sith Apprentice Sheev Palpatine runs for Senate and chafes under the oversight of Darth Plagueis.  His new shady ballerina/stripper girlfriend becomes a flashpoint between Master and Apprentice.

Four Mothers Chapter 1:  Hell Hath No Fury.  One sure way to piss off a Mother Witch of Dathomir is to steal her boy Maul.  Why kidnap her kid?  Because he who controls the Chosen One, controls the Force.

Four Mothers Chapter 3: The Annunciation to the Non-Blessed Non-Virgin.  Slave woman Shmi Skywalker is magically pregnant and super confused.  Remember:  he who controls the Chosen One, controls the Force.

The Fifth Wife.  Clueless and gullible Jedi researcher girl meets a powerful and famous intergalactic banker.  Surprise!  He’s also a Sith Lord who’s plotting to overthrow the Republic with his Senator Apprentice.  He’s got a grand plan for the Republic and for her.

REBELLION ERA FICTION:  The revenge of the Sith is achieved.  Darth Sidious runs the show and he’s got the Chosen One as his Apprentice.  What could go wrong??

Twilight of the Gods.  Darth Vader is reeling from a major defeat and out of favor with his fickle Master. It’s causing him to question the life he has convinced himself to accept.  Is there love after Padme Amidala?  How can he move on when the past keeps confronting him?  And can he save his estranged son from his own fate?  (My Reylo fix-it fic Epilogue is a quasi-continuation of this story.)

Happy Endings Chapter 3 (Anakin & Astral).  What if Vader didn’t die in the throne room?

Rule of Two.  DARTH MAUL IS THE TRAGIC HERO OF STAR WARS.  Fight me.  The only thing worse than being the Chosen One is being the not-Chosen One.  Bonus scene:  the Vader meets Maul confrontation you always wanted, wherein each man wishes he were the other and lots of sarcasm and posturing ensues.

Happy Endings Chapter 2 (Maul & Rhea).  A different ending for this poor pair that’s bad for the galaxy but very good for them.

SEQUEL ERA FICTION:  The Skywalkers have made a mess of things.  Will someone please balance the Force?

Works in a Series:

The Searchers.  Young Ben Solo is fresh from Snoke’s training.  He has a new name, Kylo Ren, and a new job to kill Luke Skywalker.  Witness the rise of the First Order and the coming of age of Darth Ren through the eyes of an original character who reoccurs in the series. Read this one to see Leia confront her fallen son.  (This story is a prequel to Ghosts of the Past.)

Ghosts of the Past.  Kylo Ren meets a stranger scavenging in a wreck on Jakku.  She’s struggling with the here and now, he’s haunted by the past.  Together, they stumble towards an uncertain future amid a backdrop of war.  It won’t end well, but find your HEA in The Chosen One.

The Chosen One. The sequel to Ghosts of the Past.  Emperor Ren now rules the galaxy and it’s a lot harder than he thought it would be, especially now that he’s discovered that he’s father to a teenaged son.  And what to do about Rey?  His genius solution is to lock her in the basement of his palace.  HEA after lots of melodrama.

Fulcrum.  The dark and gritty tale of monstrous young Kylo Ren and the scavenger girl he utterly disdains . . . until he cannot live without her and her precious Light.  Toxic revolting stuff with a high body count of major characters.  For what they say about power is true for love as well:  all those who find love fear to lose it . . . most especially Darth Ren.  Kylo Ren will do terrible things for his Empire, but he will commit unspeakable tragedy to save his Rey.

Fulcrum Part Two.   It sucks to be the Apprentice.  High ick factor on this one, folks.  I’m pretty embarrassed that I wrote it.  But whatever, I own it.

Sequel Trilogy stand-alone stories:

Epilogue. (Fix-it Fiction)  Disney ruined the sequel trilogy.  I tried to fix it.  This is something of a sequel to my story Twilight of the Gods.

Son of Darkness.  Space pope Kylo Ren secretly allies with Resistance Jedi Rey of Jakku in a bid to bring the galaxy together and moderate the First Order.  Also, Rey rules the Rim as Empress!

Tied on a String.   Let the past die.  Kill it, if you have to.  But make sure it’s truly dead.  Supreme Leader Ren asks Rey to join him against Snoke.  Some hate it, but I believe the epilogue to this fic is the best part.

His Padawan.  Kylo Ren hides his new Force strong girlfriend Rey in Vader’s castle while he’s busy conquering the galaxy.  Whoops!  His Master finds out and disapproves.

You Need a Teacher.  Not my fav, tbh.

Immune to the Light.  “If what you say is true, bring her to me.”  Kylo wins the duel on Starkiller Base and brings the scavenger girl home to his Master.  She’s a prodigy Force healer and that’s just what crippled Snoke needs.

Join Me.  Dark Rey rejects a trending-Light Kylo.

Versions of You.  The First Order wins and Emperor Ren maneuvers Rey into being the loyal opposition in his sham-Senate.  It’s all a ploy to get close to his girl.  But when Rey has a second awakening to the Dark Side and goes looking for her Sith Daddy, things go awry.  Lots of Hux in this one and trips to the world-between-worlds Star Wars multiverse.

Four Mothers Chapter 4:  Original Sin.  Parenting young Ben Solo is hard.  Like really hard.

[storybook-souls]

happy post-harrow-the-ninth-ening <3 how are you feeling, in the wake of All That? feelings about any specific moments? (oh, and opinions on the various lyctors? there's SO much to unpack with regards to all the tangled threads around john and mercy and augustine and gideon prime).

i'm feeling SOOOOOOOOOO much. GOD!

-obsessed with wake. i think she deserves to win.

-i was so neutral about augustine the whole book and then. at the end. jesus christ. i...his speech to mercymorn...somewhere out there exists a home not paid for with blood; it won't be for us...

-i LOVE john. i think he's maybe one of the coolest guys i've ever read in a book. he sucks so bad. he's completely awesome. i can't wait to see what happens with him next. it makes me feel completely crazy that like. john sucks. you sympathize with augustine and mercymorn wanting him dead. but at the same time....if he dies the sun goes out...

-palamedes and camilla do continue to be my favorite guys and it's a shame they weren't in this book more. however the one scene palamedes got did completely rearrange my brain chemistry so i'll take it. literally how god takes and takes and takes. you never could have guessed that he had seen me!!!!!!

-the revanant gang is everything to me. dulcinea! abigail! ortus and the other cavaliers going off to fight the resurrection beast! the fact that they WERE real! ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-i knew lots of spoilers going in and even the ones i didn't know i was able to put together bc i was on high alert for pyrrha and wake showing up but there were STILL so many things i didn't see coming even a little bit….

-god this book is so well written. i'm having such a MOMENT about how effective all the choices are...how muir wields her plot points and reveals and characters like weapons...

[sullustangin]

Darth Marr and Satele Shan:  Names and Priorities

I’ve reached the point in my Yavin fic that I’m starting to use Marr’s POV on occasion.  One of the things I’ve been chewing on (likely to the annoyance of others) has been the Marr-Satele-Theron dynamic during the Yavin 4 op.  It’s clear that Satele and Marr have put aside differences and have become friends (as much as a Force ghost and a self-exiled Jedi Master can be friends) by Chapter 12 of KotFE. 

I give credit to @swtorpadawan for posting about Satele on Yavin 4 a few months ago and being willing to have continued discourse about the post -- thank you.  In comments and reblogs, there’s been discussion about how to interpret Satele’s references to Theron during the op and her motivations for why she does this. 

This is a spin-off of that post, since I’ll be focusing more on the dynamic between Marr and the Shans instead of Theron and Satele. 

During the Yavin op, Theron is consistently referred to as Theron, not as Agent Shan or as Shan.  The issue of his last name is avoided.   A few people (including me) have the headcanon that ‘Shan’ is a common name in the galaxy, like Smith or Patel or Garcia would be on our world; two people named Shan does not a family connection make, necessarily.  It would explain why Theron doesn’t have a code name (though he jokingly? complains about it on first meeting). 

And yet, Satele avoids using the name in reference to Theron.  So does Marr.  And Theron doesn’t insist on being referred to by his last name, even though his peer, Lana Beniko, is referred to as ‘Beniko’ by Marr. (Satele never addresses Lana using her name.)

Why the dance? 

Honestly, when I try to reverse-engineer dev!logic, in terms of the game design for Yavin 4, I’d guess it was done to help the player differentiate between Grand Master Shan and Agent Shan.  And maybe that’s all it is: calling Theron “Theron” just keeps the player from getting confused, especially if the player isn’t a Jedi and doesn’t know Satele; and/or skipped the Forged Alliances quests and thus doesn’t know Theron.

Within the universe, however, what’s an explanation a player can come up with?

The Spies in Question

Theron’s name was broadcast across the galaxy as a wanted man for killing Colonel Darok.  He was to be apprehended on sight, but Theron was a spy; spy agencies to this day rarely let any images of their active duty agents be circulated, even if they do go rogue or defect to the other side.  Theron’s image in direct connection to his name and job as SIS agent would be on a need-to-know basis.  This has led me to headcanon that Director Trant was well-aware of Theron going off the grid; in fact, he aided and abetted it.

Lana, on the other hand, was a known member of the Sphere of Military Offense.  She commanded troops on Hoth.  She had a known face, and there was an Imperial bounty contract on her head, per Theron at Manaan.  If anything, Lana was in as much danger as Jakarro; someone could try to claim the bounty on her head, since the bounties weren’t lifted til the end of the Yavin op.

And yet, Theron’s name was the unspeakable one. 

Satele and Theron

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I feel that the dynamic between Theron and Satele is not that of son and mother; both of them have gotten past that decision.  Rather, it’s more similar to a child who was given up for adoption looking for some sort of acknowledgement from his birth family -- it’s not love.  It’s not approval.  It’s.... complicated.  Acknowledgement of existence.  Acknowledgement that the decision had impact on Theron well beyond his first year of life.  Acknowledgement that Satele hurt Jace. 

I’ve interpreted Theron’s bristling at the use of the term “my agent” to be more directed at the possessiveness of the word, yet how far apart they still are, despite the biological connections.  Technically, Yavin 4 was the first time they worked on an op together.  This was their first professional collaboration.  They haven’t seen each other socially, they can’t talk about their issues/relationship/whatever.....and they have to save the galaxy together.

Giving up Theron doesn’t mean Satele felt nothing. She privately struggles with what she did and how it turned out -- still does, based on 6.2.   However, she, like Jace and Theron, believe in serving the cause at great personal cost.  Seeing Theron beat to hell after Rishi bothered her -- it would bother anyone with any sense of compassion (which she does have).  Theron got the beatdown he did because he was taken by the Revanites.  Revan attempted to convince Theron to join him on Yavin 4 by invoking the idea that they are flesh and blood -- family.

Pretty sure Revan wasn’t talking about the Malcom side.  Satele knew that.  Was there a sense of protectiveness for Theron because of what happened immediately before Yavin 4?  I think so, yes, but it’s not motherly.

Theron’s experience on Rishi probably made Satele hyperaware that if Theron was of interest to the Revanites, then the Empire would doubly interested in Theron if they knew that he was not only an heir of Revan, but that the Grand Master of the Jedi Order was his biological mother.   Referring to him as “my agent” may be Satele’s way to avoid using any part of his name on Yavin 4.

I’m willing to bet, regardless of any efforts to ignore or conceal Theron’s name, that Marr quickly figured out that the agent who managed to outfox Revan, resist torture, get Marr’s attention, and unravel an intergalactic conspiracy was something special to the Republic.  Odds were that this agent had acted against the Empire.

Marr would be interested.

The History of Darth Marr and Satele Shan

Prior to Yavin 4, Marr and Satele had most recently squabbled over Makeb in the Hutt Cartel expansion through their various operatives.  When Marr saw Satele on the Imp side Battle of Rishi, he bowed.  He respected her and she respected him.  I didn’t get any other impression from their interactions. They saw each other as equals, though on rival sides; that creates tension, since a fight between them would be a draw or mutually assured destruction.  It’s highly likely they fought against each other in the previous Galactic War (which I’ll talk about below). 

Marr was born in 3702 BBY, Satele in 3699 BBY.  They’re about the same age, and they ascended almost equally quickly when the Sith returned in 3681 -- Satele is 18, Marr is 21.  I have spoken about how Satele and Jace (who seems to be somewhere between 16 and 20 in the trailer) were essentially just kids when the conflict started.  So was Marr.

The big difference, in terms of how their characters are constructed, is that we have the end product of Marr.  Period.  We don’t know what his name was before he took on the name ‘Darth Marr.’  We know nothing about his family, his relationships, his struggles.  As Marr said later to the player in KotFE, he wanted to be a symbol to the Empire.  Marr did not let himself be just a man.

Darth Marr is not the singular leader of the Sith.  Marr is the head of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire for decades, and as of the Battle of Corellia and the death of Darth Decimus, he also becomes the head of the Sphere of Military Strategy.  With 2 of Military Spheres in his grasp, Marr was the de facto leader of the armed forces of the Sith Empire.  The Sphere of Military Offense passed from Baras to Arho and then to Arkous after Ilum.  When Arkous is killed by the player’s character, there is no indication as to who was the next head; that Sphere is never spoken of again in-game.  We may assume Marr took hold of that.  Either way, he has become the de facto leader of the Sith Empire.  His voice, his robes and mask -- immediately recognizable to the whole galaxy.

The creators of content for SWTOR took the opposite approach to Satele. We can read about how her mother Tasiele was forced into exile when Satele was still a child.  We meet Satele at 18 in a SWTOR trailer during the first Sith incursion at Korriban.  We see her in comics fighting against the Empire.  We see her at the Battle of Alderaan against Malgus.  In Annihilation,we see bits and pieces of her falling in love with Jace Malcom and hoping she doesn’t get too attached... until a pair of permanent complications occur in 3667 BBY:   Jace was severely maimed in the Battle of Alderaan, and Satele got pregnant.  Jace’s injuries made him a much harder person than the soldier Satele met in 3681 BBY; he scared her with his hatred of the Empire. 

I’ll take a moment here to say that Satele wasn’t dumb or naive when she made the decision about Theron.  Satele was at least 32 years old, possibly 33 by the time Theron was born in 3666 BBY. She wasn’t a teen having a knee-jerk “oh noes, he’s evil” moment.  She had been in a constant state of war for 15 years when she got pregnant.   It’s in that context that Satele was concerned that Jace’s hatred could drag their child to the Dark Side... but also, Satele’s love for her child would make it impossible for her to serve the Republic without a second thought.  She couldn’t fight and die for the Republic if she was always preoccupied with coming home to her baby.

So she let Theron go.  She had other adventures.  She was at the Treaty of Coruscant.  Satele founded Tython.  She became the Grand Master of her order.

We don’t get any of that pathos or glory with Marr.   Marr IS.  Marr is the Empire. He is the best of them.  He has been, is, and will be. 

The odds are pretty good that Marr and Satele met each other in combat, directly or indirectly. The bow on Imp side Rishi is a big thing for me that points to that.  Also, look at their responsibilities during the last war.  Marr was responsible for not only defending Korriban and what would become the Imperial core, but also any gains the Sith made over time against the Republic.  That’s the job of the Sphere of Defense of the Empire; taking planets was somebody else’s rodeo, not Marr’s.  His job was to defend... something the Imperial people living on these planets would love him for.  He was their protector against brutish Republic troops and their systemic corruption. 

Satele was responsible for winning those territories back; we see her on counter-strikes against the Sith.  Satele is cast as the liberator of people imperiled by the spreading Sith Empire, not a conqueror taking new territory.  Marr probably had to defend against Satele at least once in their careers, possibly multiple times.  If she was absent from the front lines for any period of time, Marr would have noticed; he had to anticipate the next move of Republic counterstrikes as part of his job. 

And indeed, Satele was absent for an extended period.  How long Satele was absent from the battlefield due to her pregnancy, we don’t know. Satele did continue her battlefield duties for “months” after she found out.  The only information we have about post-partum Satele is that she stopped visiting Baby Theron at 6 months old, according to Lost Suns.  I don’t think she could just skip off at random while in command, so I think she probably was off the battlefield at least 10 months (last 4 months of her pregnancy, 6 months post-partum), possibly as long as 18 months, since Gnost-Dural reports she was assigned to duty with the Republic Navy at some point in 3665 BBY.  She did give birth on a random planet in a cave, so she didn’t exactly have the best medical care immediately.  Maybe there were complications. Maybe she did show early. We don’t know.

Regardless of the timeline, Marr would have been paying attention.  Marr would have noticed when Satele Shan stopped fighting for the Republic.  Where was she?  What was she doing?  Was this part of a greater plot by the Republic?  What were they planning?  And when Satele did return, he may well have wondered what she had been up to.  But no matter; she had returned.  Marr had to be ready.

There’s no obvious indication in the game as to when Marr figures out Satele and Theron are mother and son.  He makes no comment to indicate that he knew before Rishi.  Based on Marr’s dialogue in game on the Imperial side, he heavily suggests that he knows who Theron is by the time Iven, the former commandant of the Imperial Guard, is taken into custody and it’s time to interrogate him. Satele objects to Marr’s plans to torture Iven.  “And what do you think your agent has done in the Republic’s name?” is Marr’s response. 

The delivery of ‘your agent’ is indicative that Marr knows.

Theron himself stated at the end of the Imp side romance that if he was indeed recruited by the player to join the Empire, people would be suspicious that he’d be working for his mother.  That would have to include Darth Marr. 

Personally, I would guess that the after-action reports from Lana and Theron would have some clues for Marr.  However, once Theron had healed up from the Rishi events, Marr may well have taken one look at Theron standing next to Satele, and then had an epiphany so immense it gave him a headache that Lana felt across the compound.  There’s the answer.  That’s why she disappeared for almost two years, twenty-nine years ago. Theron Shan.

(According to Jace in Annihilation, Theron has some similar features to his mother. He doesn’t specify which ones.)

The Lie of Omission

A lie of omission is permitting an inaccuracy or a falsehood to continue to circulate without correction, even though the person knows the truth. (In contrast, a lie of commission is when you actively make something up or contribute to the lie -- you commit the act lying.)  Marr signals he knows who Theron is by the time Iven is retrieved from the Imperial Guard training facility on Yavin, but he never says the name Theron Shan out loud.   It’s simply “the agent” “your agent” or “Theron.”  But not Agent Shan.

The use of “Theron” in the Pubside story is most eyebrow-raising.  

Marr calls people by their titles. Marr always keeps professional distance.  Underlings are uniformly referred to by their titles.  Lana doesn’t like titles, so Marr doesn’t refer to her as Lord Beniko or Darth whatever;  it’s just Beniko.

Calling someone by their first name is highly irregular.  He does not refer to Satele as such until 6.2 (and that might be the Socratic Problem of Marr in the player’s memory rather than the real Marr).  It’s always Grand Master or Grand Master Shan. In a unique instance in the game, Marr calls Theron by his given name when he finds the Imperial Guard’s buildings in ruins during the Pubside story:  “But given the destruction Theron describes, it’s mostly likely a distress call.”  This is before the Pub operative annoys Marr by going to the Imperial Guard facility by themselves; it’s not said in anger or in irritation.  It’s said under ‘normal’ circumstances (if circumstances on Yavin are normal at all). 

But why?  Why not “Agent Shan”?  That would differentiate him from Grand Master Shan.  Just referring to the pair as Grand Master and Agent would work too; how many Grand Masters and SIS Agents are running around on Yavin 4?  Why is Marr avoiding attention to the man’s last name?

And why doesn’t Marr hop on this and use it to the Empire’s advantage?

Pragmatism and Prioritization

Marr is not a Jedi.  Marr doesn’t do things for the greater good.  He does things for the Sith Empire and for the people of the Sith Empire.  Offing Theron Shan?  Definitely on the agenda.  So is killing Satele, eventually.

But not now.  Not on Yavin 4.

Marr is probably the person closest to knowing what Revan is going to try to do in order to make the Emperor take physical form again so he can kill him.  It’s going to involve a lot of dead people.  That can easily happen; up until this tiny fragile cease fire between Marr and Satele, the Empire and the Republic have been engaged in a hot war. When they first make camp on Yavin, there is a real possibility they’ll frag each other regularly.  This is why players have to do daily quests, in theory -- to build good will between the factions. 

My partner is a military nerd and a Star Wars nerd.  He watched both version of the Battle of Rishi.  His conclusion:  based on the ships we see, Marr had more than twice the number of troops that Satele did (I put the numbers in my Yavin 4 fic).  The Imperial troops, at Marr’s word, probably could wipe out the Republic forces on Yavin 4, pack up, and head back to Dromund Kaas in time for tea.

But they won’t.  Marr wouldn’t permit it.

He knows how dangerous the Emperor is, and if he does let his troops kill the Pubs, they feed him. There also appears to be some sort of weird mystical thing going on with Revan’s bloodline.  Revan knew highly personal information about Theron (and Theron says so when the player opens the temple later on); somehow, Theron was able to use that connection to get Revan to give up Yavin 4 and secure an invite there at the end of the Rishi op.

Marr knows about this.  Marr doesn’t know what Revan would do if Marr did kill Theron or Satele, plus there’s the more predictable possibility that the Republic would respond to the death of Satele Shan thanks to the Jedi feeling it through the Force.  Chancellor Saresh would not let that opportunity pass by, even if it did feed the Emperor; we saw that at Ziost. 

Grand Master Shan is a public figure.  Her name and her power is obvious to everyone in the Yavin camp.  Theron, however, is everything his mother is not.  He is a spy.  His face is not known to the general public.  His work is secret, his exact abilities unknown.

Sure, the last name is common enough....

But Theron and Satele have never worked together before.  They’ve never operated in such close proximity before.  Yavin 4 would be the first time all the pieces could fall into place to someone observant.  Marr is many things, but one of the things he really gets annoyed about in regard to the Sith is their arrogance.  They get such fat heads that they can’t see obvious danger or they overlook aliens and non-Force Sensitives to their own detriment. 

Marr isn’t arrogant.

He doesn’t think he’s the only one who can see a family similarity or sense some connection between them.  Saying someone’s name is a powerful thing; we get upset when someone screws up our name.  It’s how our attention is attracted.  Shared last names of interesting people attract attention.  Attention leads to distraction away from the primary goal of stopping Revan and the Emperor.

That’s something Marr doesn’t want to deal with right now.  Revan and Emperor now.  The Shans later.  He avoids referring to Theron as “Shan” so as to reduce any chance that some young Sith will attempt to make their bones killing Theron, since that would spell doom for the Empire, whether through Revan’s anger or the Republic’s revenge.  It would also help empower the Sith Emperor to retake physical form, which is the last thing Marr wants him to do. 

Exposing the Grand Master as having a secret son would remove an ally from the field for Marr; Marr doesn’t want to destroy his assets before he’s used them to their full ability.  There’s no point in burning Satele Shan on Yavin 4 before Revan is dealt with. 

...And Marr respects her.  It’s a cheap way to win against a rival he knows to be his equal.

Marr wants to end Revan and the Emperor now, in that order, to defend the people of the Empire.  He’ll worry about the Shans later.  Marr will let Theron’s last name be overlooked and unmentioned, if only because it makes his job as Defender of the Empire less complicated for a few months.

**

Thanks again to @swtorpadawan​ and also @inyri​ @shabre-legacy​ @theniveanlegacy​ for discussing the original post about Satele and Theron and making me think about this.  

Headcanon Postface:

This last bit is purely my headcanon ideas about Marr, so you can leave here if you so desire. I’m placing them here rather than making a separate post and having to link back to this one. 

As I’ve described previously, we have the finished product of Darth Marr, with none of the personal insight that was provided for Satele Shan.  Who’s under the mask?  Nobody knows, really.  His first comic book adventure takes place in 3678, when he’s about 24 years old.  There’s nothing about his life beforehand that would let the player wonder how his past life affected his current decisions.  Marr ultimately would do the best he could for the Empire, regardless, but knowing if he ever hesitated, ever had second thought, had a regret -- that would make him mortal. 

And Marr is an icon, not a man, in the grander SWTOR universe, per the writers. That’s the point driven home to the player.  So that leaves it to fan fic to take off the mask or not. 

In “The Planter of Trees and Other Tales from Yavin 4,” Marr comes to this conclusion about the Shans’ relationship after observing two Shan chins.  He then alludes to understanding Satele’s decision to conceal Theron’s existence.

After Marr had gained his seat on the Dark Council (late 3680s, early 3670s), a lot of Sith families wanted him to add to their prestige. The man needed a legacy; he needed heirs.  Marr had already set himself on his path, however; he understood that it was better to be an icon.  If Marr was a normal man, he would be weakened by family connections, love, protectiveness, concern for his personal future.  Instead, Marr’s devotion to the Empire was unmatched and pure.  In the public’s eye, he was the great defender. He was the perfect Sith.

Marr never did have a public wife or a political marriage. His private life -- better secured than Imperial state secrets -- produced a  daughter that did not inherit her talents from her Force-Using parent.  Marr had been relieved that his daughter was not like him.  It meant she would never be pressured to come into public life. It meant she was free of the burden of his legacy. 

Lately, I’ve considered that, regardless of having access to the Force or not, a child of Marr was always in danger of becoming a pawn.  She was something Marr’s enemies could use against him, if they ever found out about her; being Force-Null simply meant that others could not detect her as easily. That may have also have been a concern of Satele in regard to Theron, especially as she rose through the ranks of the Jedi Order.  As soon as Marr could let his daughter fly away from Dromund Kaas, he did.  She was free. 

She died shortly before the Sack of Coruscant.  Marr did not go to her. The Empire had to matter more.  That doesn’t mean he didn’t love her.  He just never could prioritize her over the Empire. 

In my fic universe, Marr understands Satele’s choices.  He can keep his mouth shut.  For now. 

Theron is far more dangerous to the rival faction than Marr’s daughter ever was, however; he is an active player in the war, while she... just got caught in the middle, in the end....

Revan and Emperor now.  Shans later.

**