#revamped font
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matching glitters
#butch#femme#glitter text#gif warning#pink#pookatoo.com#vamp#vampire bride font#revamped font#lesbian#feel free to use :3
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Small Web Challenge
PSA for anyone who makes personal sites, shrines etc.: The event Small Web Challenge is currently underway over at a young Dreamwidth community! It's quite casual, and encourages any kind of site activity.
If you're looking for a burst of motivation and inspiration by seeing fellow creative minds at work, check it out and spread the word. :D
#small web#indie web#neocities#personal#brb working on the big revamp that will herald a new era in my site history#I've only been playing with content fonts for a day#and already looking at the current oubliette.nu feels weird#'DID MY BROWSER SCREW UP or is it just that the content font of the new layout is bigger'#I'm freshly in love#being away from my wip for a work day feels PAINFUL
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Worked on a couple character drawings today and finished them!
Here's Charcoal and Percy!
Bonus photos under the cut with their bookmarks
#i did use watercolour to add a simple background for Percy#i always planned for him to have a loose background. i just didn't feel like killing my wrist after hours of using coloured pencils#so. watercolour#used the more transparent pallette 'cause I didn't eant the colours to be too strong#the other one is much richer with the pigments and generally used more for stronger colours#namely the wing refs i still need to finish#all the more vibrant tones in those are from the second pallette#plus now i know how my big sketchbook responds to watercolour!#do long as i press the page for a bit to keep it sorta flat#anyways#proper tagging now lol#avians#wings#winged characters#Charcoal Fraser#Percy Arctic#might go back and recycle the first long-ish story i wrote and revamp it for these guys#if i can bring myself to read my nearly decade old writing from when i first started#maybe adjust the fonts and their size#make it less of a pain to read#maybe
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#i did a deep dive through some stuff looking for a really old wip that i was reminded of by a discord server#(alas did not find it :c#but oh my god#I booted up my old macbook that i haven't used in over 6 years just to see if maybe it was saved on there#and i found so much stuff#a lot of really bad memories/reminders of my marriage and ideals that i used to have#it was just not great and led to a whole fucking fiasco on my PC when I turned off the macbook cause fucking GOOGLE#but anyways I found some old fanfics that I wrote when I was like 15-17 lmao#it was like three different stories in one document for some reason but they were for two different fandoms? Why were they even together id#but it was sg1 and supernatural cause yeah I was that kind of teenager#(this was pre-tumblr era; i didn't join tumblr till i was like 20 and that was STILL 11 years ago)#i didn't even read the whole document cause the font size was all over the place for some reason and really hard to read#but i copy/pasted it into a google document so that i could remove it from that computer and read it again#definitely some OC's and very much of the Mary Sue variety#there was a whole family of OC's and I don't remember at all where I dragged those ones out of or what their story was supposed to be#but it's intrigued me tbh; maybe i can revamp them lmao#i caught myself in my own plot twist though cause i was reading it and had a WHAT moment at a reveal that i forgot about#this was clearly back before i felt the need to compile story notes too#either i had more confidence in my memory when ideas struck or i was just pulling all of it directly out of my ass#which the latter is way more plausible tbh#i'm going to read through this document more thoroughly tonight now that i have it as a uniform font size#it's nearly 20k words between the three or four stories in the document though which surprised me tbh#kee speaks#OH and also I found another really short blurb of some OC's that I have introduced here before#It's Tyr and Brennan from before I changed their names and I'm not entirely sure what my plan had been for it#but it's basically word vomit of me trying to get the imagery and visceral whump description of sensations onto the page#followed up with really cute comfort cuddling which made me all 'd'aww' over my own characters lmao#maybe I can run with that one and actually make it into a story
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30+ Overrides for Realistic & Aesthetic Gameplay By Ashley Plays
Here is a list of the overrides I've recently added to revamp my game for the new year.
Create-A-Sim
Aesthetic Closet CAS Background
Reflection CAS Background
CC Wrench Override
Font Override
Loading Screen
Plumbob Override
Part One: Morning Routine Essentials
Everyday Clutter Kits Object Become Functional
Bathroom Clutter Kits Become Functional
Quip Oral Care Set
Bombshell Vanity Shelf
Default Pencil Override
Part Two: Infant Essentials
Default Baby Bottle Replacement
Baby Bath Seat Override
Infant Bath Sponge Override
Infant Carrier Recolor
Bye Bye Baby Rug
Part Three: Food-Related Overrides
Breakfast Food Overhaul
Food Retexture Pack 1
Food Retexture Pack 2 (Quick Meals)
Cutting Board
Cutlery
Modern Glass Replacement
Part Four: Cleaning Overrides
A Brighter Mop Replacement
Scrub Father
Cleaning Spray
Robot Vacuum Override
Part Five: Miscellaneous Overrides
Single Selfie Override
Paired Selfie Override
UI Mood
Facial Overlay Animation Replacement
Motive Fail Energy & Celeb Fan Faint Animation Replacement
Smaller Censor
Mimi's Outfit
Chloe Hair
Lilou Top
J'Adior Heeled Slingback
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Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles: A Family Tree
(Maker/Fledgling)
Divided into sections:
Thank you to vampire chronicles nerds @iloustat and Gorrei for their help in fact checking the info!
This is a revamped version of the family tree i made a couple of years ago. This time i fixed some past mistakes and also added some new elements!
You can access here for high quality pictures.
Thank you to vampire chronicles nerds @iloustat and Gorrei for their help in fact checking the info.
The Vampire Chronicles logo was made by the talented: 'frans_hattingh' on Instagram.
The Rue Royale font is by: @squirrellypoo
#the vampire chronicles#vampire chronicles#interview with the vampire#iwtv#anne rice#vampire#vampire books#lestat#the vampire lestat
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I pushed my soul in a deep dark hole, and then I followed it in, I watched myself crawling out as I was a-crawling in. I got up so tight, I couldn't unwind, I saw so much, I broke my mind… —“Just Dropped In (to See What Condition My Condition Was In),” The First Edition (1968)
It Keeps Right On A-Hurtin’ #28 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding VII
Archive Links
«« First | « Previous || Next » | Last »»
Read IKROAH on Archive of Our Own
Notes / Original Pencils / Transcript:
Notes
Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to type those words? "End of Volume 2?" We have been on Volume 2 for just over three years. Obviously it's unfair to compare it to the breakneck pace of Volume 1, because... I got burned out (I got better), I got divorced (I got better), and most importantly, I've spent all three of these years overhauling my approach to art, which is to say, I got better. My canvas size doubled because my initial naive approach of "smaller pages means less art, which means faster art" was holding me back: I wanted more art, and the subjects of too many panels had gotten flubbed due to what was basically a pathetically low rendering distance. I revamped my approach to coloring entirely, leaning into a vibrant, saturated, and faux-comic halftone style that I vastly prefer to my more grounded, gradient-driven work beforehand. I changed IKROAH's font (Unmasked!), I changed Agnes's appearance slightly (she's far less gaunt, which was an early design choice I've thrown away, plus I think I'm much better at drawing her consistently now), and so much more. Comics are a time-consuming artform and while a lot of what made this volume take so long was out of my control, and well worth not pushing myself through, the total reinvention of how I actually make comics was the single best thing to come out of Volume 2.
It's a lot of lessons and groundwork that I'm very eager to take into Volume 3, which I have spent every single one of these years viciously impatient for. Now, it's finally here. See you at the cover reveal.
Original Pencils
Something that I have been working a lot harder on with my art lately is inking: actual inking, not merely "outlining" and figuring out the rest by the seat of my pants digitally. I've come to realize that the fewer steps of my production process that I try to do digitally, the more fun it is to make art as a whole, and inking was something that I was very intimidated by for the longest time. What happens if I mess up! It's permanent marker, after all! But after all the practice that I've done, I'm really happy with how bold and confident the shadows are on this issue, and they're perfect for how moody and dramatically lit the whole thing is. You can compare the pencils to the inks to the final products and really see how I planned out the overall composition.
Transcript
INT. LUCKY 38 PRESIDENTIAL SUITE, VERY LATE AT NIGHT. The lights are all off in this luxurious, distinctly pre-war abode. It is almost empty.
RADIO: Welcome back to the program, folks. This is Mr. New Vegas—and I hope I'm not coming on too strong. We've got some news for you, coming right up.
The only real light in the suite comes from the glowing screen of the Securitron VICTOR, standing in front of the private elevator.
RADIO: Tops Hotel owner Benny has been killed by an unidentified assailant. According to his fellow Chairmen, shots were heard in his private suite, and his body was found inside. They are urging all visitors to please keep an eye out for suspicious individuals and behavior on the New Vegas Strip. The new head of the Chairmen, Benny's former right-hand man Swank, consoled mourners: "If I know my pal Benny, he's swinging with the Big Cat Upstairs as we speak. Or he's chasing some angel broad with cans as big as her halo!"
RADIO: In other news—
In a guest bedroom off to the side, ROSE OF SHARON CASSIDY is sound asleep. Her belongings are neatly folded on the dresser, except for the cocktail dress that she was wearing, which has been thrown onto the ground.
RADIO: —refugees at Bitter Springs are giving startling accounts of the legate known as Lanius, who is said to be Caesar's top field commander. One refugee told us the legate took over an underperforming squad of troops by beating its commander to death in full viw of everyone. The legate then ordered a tenth of his own force be killed by the other nine tenths. And you thought your boss was a pain!
RADIO: You know, I think all news, whether it's good or bad, brings us closer together. Don't you?
Directly across from the elevator, across from VICTOR, are the shut doors to the master bedroom.
RADIO: These headlines, brought to you by Vault 21...Vault 21! Everything is better when you experience it...in a vault.
Inside the master bedroom, AGNES SANDS sits on the edge of the bed, wide awake. The RADIO plays from her PIP-BOY, which provides a slight amount of light in the dark room.
RADIO: Gonna play a song for you right now—it's about that special someone, that you can only find once...in a "Blue Moon."
"Blue Moon" begins to play from the radio. AGNES's head remains lowered in rumination.
Suddenly, the radio broadcast cuts out.
SFX: KZZRRRSSHHTTZ
RADIO: Has your life taken a turn?
A NEW VOICE speaks on the radio. It's dreamy, seductive.
RADIO: Do troubles beset you? Has fortune left you behind?
AGNES remains in thought.
But then: she lifts her head.
And she looks over at the radio.
RADIO: If so, then the Sierra Madre Casino,
The PIP-BOY displays: 11.09.81, 4:13. <<Signal Unknown>>
RADIO: in all its glory, invites you
AGNES listens.
RADIO: to begin again.
AGNES is now somewhere else.
EXT. MOJAVE DESERT. At sunrise, AGNES SANDS is perched atop a ridge somewhere in the desert. Her overcoat billows behind her, and her shoulder-mounted flashlight beams straight ahead. She looks manic. In one hand, she clutches her duffel bag, full of every belonging she has. Her other hand is wearing her PIP-BOY, and the radio broadcast continues:
RADIO: Come to a place where wealth, excitement, and intrigue await around every corner. Stroll along the winding streets of our beautiful resort. Make new friends...or rekindle old flames. Let your eyes take in the luxurious expanse of the open desert, under clear starlit skies. Gaze straight on into the sunset from our scenic Villa rooftops. Countless diversions await. Gamble in our casino, take in the theater, or stay in one of our exclusive executive suites that will shelter you...and cater to your every whim.
Below the ridge is a pile-up of wrecked shipping containers. One of them opens up toward the surface like a gaping throat of metal. It leads somewhere, deeper into the earth.
RADIO: So if life's worries have weighed you down—if you need an escape from your troubles—or if you just need an opportunity to begin again—
The source of the broadcast signal is coming from INSIDE.
RADIO: —then join us.
AGNES descends into the container, revealing a makeshift staircase of sheet metal that leads into darkness.
RADIO: Join us, let go, and leave the world behind...
The signal from inside the tunnel is now audible. It overlaps with AGNES's PIP-BOY...
RADIO: Join us, let go, and leave the world behind...
Until she sees it.
RADIO: ...at the Sierra Madre Grand Opening.
A pre-war, art deco type radio, sitting on a metal pedestal. It speaks to her.
RADIO: ...at the Sierra Madre Grand Opening.
AGNES stares at the radio, bewildered.
She barely notices the HULKING FIGURE about to grab her from behind.
RADIO: We'll be waiting.
END OF VOLUME 2
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#dead money#agnes sands#it keeps right on a hurtin#ikroah archive#volume 02#28
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amethyst | theme by sage
get the code: static preview / version 2 this is a revamp of my theme amethyst!
features (more info below the cut):
uploadable sidebar image (250px x 225px), up to 3 extra sidebar links, scroll to top, day/night, & tumblr controls buttons
toggle: reblog via info, tags on click, explore menu with an image, bio, info stats, updates, blogs, & links
customizable: description, colors, body & title fonts, font size, & blog title
responsive design, 4 corner options, 3 post margin options, phosphor icons
nothing needs to be changed in the code, everything can be changed in the customize panel!
terms:
reblog if using
do not touch the credit
view all terms
credits listed in the code / credits page
please consider supporting me ♡
some updates from the old version:
general improvements, cleaner look, bug fixes, etc.
updated & more accessible dark mode toggle
updated top post info to include date and bottom post info to include note count
new tags on click option
responsive design (now includes a sidebar toggle like my other recent themes)
added tumblr controls button
added post type icons
updated explore menu (see below)
please note i am not offering support for the old version
explore menu
uploadable explore image (width will adjust, 265px height)
bio/description section will scroll if it gets too long
up to 5 info stats & updates
up to 5 blogs (optional - leave the first blog blank)
up to 8 links (optional - leave the first explore link blank)
#themehunter#theme hunter#code hunter#tumblr themes#tumblr codes#tumblr resources#phantom code#amethyst#completeresources#allresources#userbru#usernik#userbrina#userdre#tuserlucie#useraashna#phantom revamp#phantom theme
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⤷ ₈ ⁾ CARRD TEMPLATE: SLATED.
[PREVIEW] + [BUY HERE].
PRICE $ FREE ... a template i made for my iteration of rasputin iv; revamped to be able to use for other muses.
- made with solo muses in mind. - comes with a title page, a naivgation page, a documentation page, guideline page, verses page, connections page. you may manually add / duplicate pages as you see fit at no extra cost. - slated psd used, unreleased coloring by myself. ( color schemes are adjustable so are fonts ) - do not remove or hide credits on templates.
#carrd template#multimuse carrd#carrd sources#rp carrd template#rp carrd#carrd stuff#carrd layout#rp layout#rpsources#rp template#carrds by vendettapsds
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Do-Re-Mi Theme
by Themes By Pale (or Palemomos Themes)
Live Preview | Static Preview 1 | Install with Theme Garden | Code | Guide
Hi! I know nobody asked for this but here is the revamp of my old theme “Magical DoReMi” that is inspired in the anime “Ojamajo Doremi”. The theme comes with new cool customization features and more improvments.
General Features:
Responsive: looks good in all screen sizes.
Navigation Menu is the first Magical Tap from Ojamajo Doremi, if you hover the circle buttons with the cursor an icon will appear.
Custom Background: it can be an image or color, and you can change the repeat behaviour, position and size of the background.
Customization for all colors on the theme!
Choose custom icons for the menu.
Make the icons stay always visible.
Rainbow effect tittle (you can disable it).
Choose between seven cute fonts, and you can choose a different font for the title and for the posts.
Change fonts sizes.
Four custom links (in the menu).
Nice musical cursor (you can disable it).
Choose between one or two columns layout.
Popup window with a mini about section and a infinite tags and links list.
Search Tab.
And more! Check out the customization guide.
Notes
If you don’t add an image in the popup the text will just adapt.
In mobile version the tap will position on the top of the page, and the icons will be shown by default.
I’ll try to upload this theme to the Theme Garden, hope it gets approved! Meanwhile you can install it with the code.
Credits
Basecode by @seyche
All icons are from cappuccicons.com by @suiomi
Lovely multicolor dots border made by my friend Daniel Dorantes
NPF posts support by @glenthemes
Full list of credits in the code.
If you have any questions or something is not working well please send me a message.
And if you like this theme please reblog and like! :)
PS: More new themes and revamps are coming finally!
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nemesis; part two.
pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader
summary: with carmen reworking the restaurant, you’d think his mind would be far too occupied to even think about anything else. yet he can’t shake the guilt from what he’d put you through a month prior. after some talks in therapy, he decides to take a leap of faith and see if he can talk it out with you. he not only wants to convince you that he can be better, but he's got an offer for you too. one you truly can't refuse.
♡ landing page ♡
word count: 4.9K
tags: carmen being unsure about his feelings but trying to be better episode 3265742, letting reader in a little more, APOLOGIES!!!, cursing ig, carm goes to therapy yippee, syd being the absolute realest, regular font below!
notes: sorry this took literally forever omg, I lost my carmen muse for a bit but we are SO back baby. I missed him so much and so sorry if some things don't follow the canon completely (I've been watching season 2 on and off bc I've been so busy lol BUT my fics never follow the canon completely anyways),, hope u guys enjoy and let me know if you'd like a part three ;))
lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further carmen berzatto related content! comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!
Carmen’s life hadn’t known a moment of mental rest in ages. If you asked him when he last sat down with his thoughts or acknowledged his mental anguish, he probably would have said he couldn’t remember the last time. If ever.
With plans to completely revamp The Beef and everything that came with it, now his feelings should be the last thing on his mind. Renovation plans, unforeseen costs and a completely new menu, sure, he could worry his ass off about those, but feelings? Absolutely not. Good thing he was usually so good at suppressing those anyways.
So why was it that he couldn’t shake the thought of what he did to you?
Why, every time he had a moment to himself, would he be overtaken by this intense feeling of guilt? He didn’t even have to be alone, just a second of quiet and the image of you crying in distress would intrude on his thoughts.
It was getting to a point where he’d told his sister, Natalie, about it. Well, not all of it, he wasn’t even sure if he knew all of it. Just that he knows he hurt you, and that coming to terms with what he projected onto you might be a good first step in understanding himself better.
Or maybe it was something more along the lines of “I gotta talk my shit to some people”. Probably that.
To his surprise, it was actually helping. Besides the group therapy sessions where he’d talk about Mikey, the business and his future, he was talking to other people in his life too. Even told Sydney about you, kind of on accident. The words just seemed to… Flow out. It was probably the exhaustion doing its thing.
“I guess I just felt like,” he kept his eyes on the floor he was sweeping, “she was doing it all to fuck with me. I don’t even know where I got the sick idea that she had some obsession over me, but it— it drove me at the same time. It’s like her being on my heels at every aspect of culinary school just made me want to try even harder.”
“Maybe you painted her in that light because you knew it was a good way to keep pushing yourself.” Sydney spoke almost absentmindedly, sweeping the other side of the room. She listened to everything he said in the meantime, and though what he was telling her was a bit worrying, she was glad they got to have talks like this. Carmen often doesn’t like to bring up his past like that.
“Huh,” he paused sweeping for a moment, “yeah… yeah, maybe. Or maybe it was something else.”
Sydney wasn’t even sure he knew what he was referring to. It sounded like something entirely different, like a crush, but what kind of person treats their crushes like that?
Probably an overworked, pressured, overachieving culinary student with a dangerous need for validation. But she wasn’t about to tell him that.
“So yeah, I visited her restaurant, and… It just felt the exact same as back in New York, you know? Like she was rubbing it in my face again, and— and I know that sounds insane, or conceited, but I just can’t let it go. It’s like the thought of her is stuck to my brain like a stubborn piece of gum.” He wanted to smack himself for that stupid analogy, but what was said was said.
“So how’d you handle it?” Sydney’s head perked up, some of her braids now draping over her shoulders.
“Handle what?” Carmen became more and more uneasy the more he talked about you. Like his chest was tight, it was uncomfortable, but not in the way he was when the health inspection came by, it was different. Weirder. Unfamiliar. He didn’t like it, because he didn’t understand it.
“The talk with her.” She emptied the last bit of dust into the trash bag.
“Oh,” his mind took him back to the parking lot a month ago. The way he could almost taste the tears of your skin from how close he stood, he could hear the shakiness of your breath and the profound desperation in your voice when you apologized to him, when you really had no reason to.
If it was still so clear in his mind, then what must it be like for you?
“Carmen?” Sydney snapped him out of his oncoming train of thought.
“Yeah? Sorry, I— Uh, I don’t know it was…” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly finding it in his best interest to look anywhere else but her face. “Bad. It was— It was bad.” He looks a bit shameful when he meets her eyes. “I fucked up. I like, went all New York boss on her. And then I just… Left.”
His colleague just stares at him for a moment. She knew what he was like when he snapped like that, but that was with his staff, people he liked. So how badly did he snap on you, a person he’d been resenting for years?
“I’m gonna go take out this trash, and uh… Head home.” She lifts the grey plastic bag she was holding. “But uh, Carm?”
“Yeah?”
“You got issues, man.” She has a bit of an awkward smile on her face, but he knows she means it. He knows she’s right. She usually is.
He nods, silently, letting her words sink in. He did have issues, everyone knew that, but most people didn’t just say it. That’s why he liked Sydney, she was so real, so honest. She was so good for the business, for the kitchen. And maybe her saying that to him was all part of grounding him in the reality of it all. Of his issues, just that they existed.
“Heard.” he says. His voice comes out raspier than he expected, like he’s struggling to say it.
“Goodnight, chef.”
“Night.”
He’d thought about what Sydney said the entire night. He does have issues, he knows that, he’s just mad at himself for letting everything get this far before seeking help. It scares him. Because it reminds him too much of Mikey. Or what he heard about him when things got bad.
He doesn’t want to make the same mistakes his brother did. Lock people out of his life just because it seems easier, because it’s better to minimize the damage than to figure out why you’re doing damage at all. And yes it’s uncomfortable, yes it’s scary, terrifying even. But he keeps being reminded of how it must feel for you.
It’s something he’d never considered before. He always thought he had you all figured out, all fake smiles and backhanded compliments to distract him. It never occurred to him to just… Ask. It was always just easier to assume. It fit his view of you and it kept him going, even if it was at the expense of ever getting to know you at all.
He’s hoping he can change that with a few text messages and a long, probably uncomfortable, talk over coffee. Just hoping, trying, that’s really all he can do. He’s well aware of how bad he is at communicating, but he has to give it a shot. For you, at least.
He stares at his phone screen for far longer than is necessary, continuously rereading the messages he’d typed. His eyes keep flicking to your contact, making sure he sent it to the right person. The only thing you two had texted about before was a time and place for him to try your new restaurant. His heart aches at the exclamation points and emojis you’d sent; you were so excited, and he drove all that excitement straight into the ground.
He closes his eyes and shuts off the phone. His chest hurts, like he’s been holding his breath the entire time. Maybe he has. You could have that effect on him, making it harder to breathe. He always wondered why he had such nervous reactions around you specifically. He always figured it had to do with your one sided rivalry, but it feels… Different. More complex.
Your eyes are finally peeled off your computer screen when numerous phone notifications alarm you. Truth be told, you’ve been trying your best to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. That usually helps when you get waves of emotions like this, keeping busy, distracting your mind from overthinking.
Ever since your last encounter with Carmen, you’ve been so on edge. Always trying to do something, anything, so you wouldn’t have to think about what happened, why he acted like that to you. Because you know if you did, you’d just start blaming yourself again, and you’d be back to square one.
Your eyebrows raise at the name of the contact. You were sure he’d blocked you, or at least deleted your number after last time. He was avoidant like that, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you wanted him to talk to you again after that anyways. Maybe it was just to drive the point home, make you feel even more worthless.
Still, you were curious. Even if it was just to cuss you out even more, at least you knew what to expect, right?
[carmen]: hey, I really want to talk to you about what happened last time.
[carmen]: well
[carmen]: I want to apologise
[carmen]: but I can’t do that like this
[carmen]: I’d much rather do it in person
[carmen]: if you’d let me
[carmen]: meet me at odette’s tomorrow around 10? coffee’s on me, I just want to talk
[carmen]: please
The last message was sent minutes later than the rest, while you were reading them. He was desperate for an answer, and though you wanted to hear him out, to talk to him, something in you felt off about the whole thing. Like he was just doing this to clear off his own guilt, only to then ditch you just like he ditched you after culinary school. Because you’re rivals, apparently. That’s what you do.
But then there’s something else in you too. The part that’s still nostalgic about New York with him. About the glances back and forth when you were timed on preparing certain things, about the way he’d stare at you when you got feedback, the ignorant bliss you lived in. When you still believed he might have liked you just a little.
That part of you takes the upper hand when you reply and take his offer. Your heart is in your throat, nerves overtaking you already and you weren’t even with him yet. He had that effect on you sometimes, making it harder to breathe.
You wondered what that meant.
Carmen sits alone at a booth, all the way at the back of the café he’d chosen. It’s rather quiet, as most Mondays are, yet at the same time, it’s so loud. Loud in the way he hears the clinking of every spoon against porcelain cups, the crinkling of a napkin and the not so subtle ticking of the clock above the entrance. 10:06. You were late.
Suddenly he's filled with more regret than he's ever felt before. He's not ready to see you again, only to be reminded of how he made you cry, and of his own tumultuous emotions and shortcomings that lead to this moment. It's surprising how fast the emotions he associates with you changed; he's not angry anymore, he's scared, guilty, nervous. He wants to see you so bad and yet he feels like you'd be better off never talking to him again.
It's too late to make a run for it when you finally walk through the door. Hair a little damp from the rain, just a bit disheveled from what he could only assume to be rushing over to the café. And that same angelic smile you offer to the barista that greets you, the same one you'd offer him every morning, whether he looked at you or not.
He had no choice but to look now.
Your smile falters into something more nervous, a little melancholic, when your eyes meet his across the café. Though you knew he was going to be there, something in you feels surprised to see him again. Maybe it’s because he isn’t yelling at you or throwing insults at your head this time. Or maybe because he’s actually looking you in the eye. Since when did he get so good at that?
You sit down across him, taking off your coat and putting your bag besides you.
“Hey.” You smile again, much more awkward this time.
“Hey.” He returns the same thin lipped smile.
It’s quiet for a few seconds. Carmen swears the whole café has gone silent in that moment, leaving the two of you to listen to the sound of your own breathing and heartrate picking up. You’re not sure where to look, not being used to being in such an intimate setting with him.
“Do you want a coffee?”
“Sorry I was late.”
You both talk over each other, and the urge to chuckle about it overtakes you. Carmen can’t help but smile as well. You seem nervous, and somehow that puts him a little more at ease. Like he’s not the only one who’s in their head about it.
“Sorry, I, uhm, yeah— I would like a coffee.” You scramble over your words. “Please.”
“Sure,” he nods, “and no worries.”
“Hm?”
“That you were late. I haven’t been here that long either.” He lied. He’d been there half an hour early, cursing himself for letting him sit along with his thoughts for that long and psyching himself out into almost leaving.
You both order and another heavy silence sits between you two. You both know why you’re there, what needs to be talked about. Yet neither of you know how to bring it up.
You’ve lived most of your lives believing this version of each other you had in your minds. Because it kept you grounded. Because it was easier. He never let you in and for the longest time, you were at peace with that. You could have a slightly distant view of who he was, your classmate, your rival. And he could do the same. Keep you out, pretend you were there to keep him on his toes, to always try to outdo him.
Those facades of each other don’t work anymore. The real world has forced you to reconcile with each other, whether you liked it or not.
Your coffee gets brought to your table, and both of you feel this urgency to say something, anything, at least.
“The pastries here are good too, if you want to get one.” He finally broke the awkward silence. He can start with talking about food, something he knows. If all else fails, resort back to that.
“I haven’t tried a pastry besides my own in a long time. Maybe I could learn a thing or two here.” You admit. He knows that feeling. He’s not nearly as adventurous with his food choices as he wants to be, but as a busy chef on the brink of a new entrepreneurship, it’s usually beef sandwiches and frozen meals.
“I think yours were better though.” He takes a sip of his coffee.
“Huh?” You look up, realizing you were avoiding eye contact by staring into your cup.
“The danish I tried at your place. It was fire.”
“Oh. Right. Thank you, we make everything from scratch.”
“I could tell.” He takes another sip. “I guess I— I kinda forgot to tell you that. In the heat of it all.” He huffs to himself. “Food was so good it made me upset.”
“Upset?” His word use frustrates you. Upset is when they forget to give you your sauce with your order. What happened back there was not upset. That was rage. Wrath. You raise an eyebrow and he realizes he said something wrong.
“Well, more than upset. Listen, I— We need to talk about what happened.” His blue eyes peer into your own. They’re almost distracting enough to avoid you noticing his fidgeting hands.
“I’m listening.” You lean back slightly in your seat. You’d played nice with Carmen all your life, given him every chance to return it. Now it was his turn to try.
"Right." Of course he has to talk. It's his fault, isn't it? He's the one who snapped-- why did he even imply you'd have to explain yourself? He runs a hand through his hair, and there he goes again, eyes darting across the café to find something to focus on as he sought out the right words. You'd almost find it endearing, how bad he is at this, if it wasn't so important to you.
"You don't do this often, do you?"
"What, like-- meeting up for coffee?"
"Talking about stuff. Your feelings and shit." You hid your slightly amused smile behind your coffee cup before taking a small sip.
"Oh. Yeah, no, I-- I don't. Not until recently." He takes a deep breath. Just like they had told him to. “I’ve been going to this therapy thing my sister recommended. S’not much, but… It’s a start. Talked about the restaurant, my brother—“
“Your brother?” Your eyebrows raise slightly.
“Yeah, my— my brother. Mikey.” He looks a bit surprised. He’s come to the shattering realization that he’s never told you anything about his personal life, ever. You don’t even know about one of the most important people in his life, his main drive. You’ve known each other for so long yet you know so little. “I never told you about him?”
“You never told me anything.” You answer curtly. “We never really… Talked, you know?”
“Yeah— yeah, you’re right. I just thought… Wow.” He smiles, more out of shock than anything. He feels so stupid. How immature is it to be feuding this much with a person who doesn’t know anything about you?
“I guess I really don’t know much about you either.” His fingers rake through his messy curls again. “Makes me feel like even more of an idiot for going off on you like that. Like I had you all figured out.”
“Yeah, that was uh... That was something." The mood shifts a little. His smile fades as soon as he sees the melancholy in your eyes return. Of course it wouldn't be that easy for you to forgive him, to feel better about all this. "You know, I never knew you thought of me like that." A small smile graces your features. Somehow it's sadder than the expression you had before.
"I mean, I knew you didn't like me. I was pretty much at peace with the fact that you were never going to like me, either. But I never thought you hated me that much." You sniffle, trying your hardest to blink away any oncoming tears. "Like your life, your entire career, would have been easier without me there at all."
His heart aches at the sight of you, all teary eyed and trying to be brave. You're much braver than him. Sadness is a much harder thing to express than anger. He's starting to figure that out more and more.
"I don't hate you." He starts. He sees the confusion contort your features, and he knows he's not making any sense. "I mean I did-- I did hate you. Or, maybe not you, just... The fucked up idea I had of you. And-- and that was on me, that was my own fault." He feels an urge to touch you; to rub your back, hold your hand, anything to comfort you. It's tearing him apart to know that he's the cause of all this.
"But why?" A single tear rolls down your cheek, leaving a wet streak on your skin in its wake. "Why did you think that about me? I-- I get that we had a little rivalry going but jesus Carmen, did you really think I spent my whole culinary school career trying to outdo you?"
"To be honest... Yeah." He feels ashamed. So ashamed. He hopes the waitress doesn't walk by and listen to any of this, see you crying, and make you feel even worse. "Cooking was always just... My thing. If I was good for anything, it would be that. So seeing you do so well at something I'd started to base my whole existence around, it made me jealous, so fucking jealous." He meets your eyes, even if it's hard. You have to know he's being sincere.
"And it's-- it's unfair, it's so unfair to you, I know, and I'm really fuckin' sorry. I'm trying to work on myself, on everything, and I hope I can prove that to you." His face has that red tint you recognize whenever he's nervous or stressed. You can tell this is taking a lot from him.
"Is that really all? You were just jealous?" Your voice is quieter, fragile almost.
"I don't know. I wanna think it's that simple but I really don't know. There's a lot I don't understand about me, or you, or us. My mind doesn't know how to react when I see you anymore I think, now that things are different." He takes a deep breath, like saying that took a physical toll on him. "You have this-- this weird effect on me, and I don't know how to cope with it. I think it was just easier to be mad at you than to be anything else."
Anger is easier to express than sadness. The easiest out of all emotions, actually. Sometimes a little too easy.
You look to the side, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. You huff out something close to a laugh, and though he’s caught off guard by it, he doesn’t mind it. Even if you’re laughing at him, at least that means you’re not crying.
“You’ve got issues Berzatto. You know that?”
“Yeah. I’ve been told.” He smiles, and it’s heartfelt this time. Not nervous, or sad, or awkward. He’s happy to see you a little more at ease.
“It’s just really crazy to me.” You trace your finger over the edge of your coffee cup as you talk. “I spent so much time in culinary school looking up to you. And then I find out you were always just trying to keep up with me.”
Carmen’s eyebrows raise a little at your words. “Looked up to me?”
“Yeah, like… Your drive, your passion, it’s so impressive. Always looking to improve, to do better, it just— it inspired me to do better too. As cheesy as that may sound.” You smiled. “S’why I opened up in Chicago, you know.”
“Really? Huh.” He leaned back in his seat.
“Because I wanted to work with you. Or for you. Either would have been fine with me.” You sigh. “I like owning my own place, but… I don’t know, for some reason I always imagined us working together.” You smiled. “Is that stupid?”
“No,” he replied quickly, “no not at all, I— I totally get that.” He’s quiet for a few seconds, and you can practically hear the gears turning in his head when he stares at you for a moment.
“I mean you’re a remarkable chef, really, like— insanely remarkable, and, well, we’re revamping the restaurant completely right now. We need people— more people, new people, and so, I was wondering— or I’ve been thinking—“ He stops himself from losing his breath from all his rambling, before he freaks you out even more than he already has.
“I want you to come work for us at the Bear.” He puts his hands together, as if he’s about to beg. “Please.”
You can almost hear yourself blinking out of confusion. There’s suddenly no more loud silences, no, the café seems dead quiet for once. All you can do is stare at him, wait for a laugh, because clearly this was a joke right? There’s no way Carmen Berzatto, chef supreme, arch nemesis of yours, would want you anywhere near him, let alone work in his own establishment.
“I’m sorry?”
He feels stupid already. You had every reason to say no. He’d been the biggest asshole in the world to you, he’d kept his distance all his life, and now he expects you to be his employee. Or, well, colleague, more so.
“I’m uh— we’re redoing the restaurant entirely. New equipment, new staff, new everything.” He swallows; the thought of everything that needed to be done arises for a moment. “We need people that work hard, who know what they’re doing and who are passionate about it. And I barely know anyone who’s better at what you do than yourself.” He pauses, waiting for you to stop him. But you don’t.
“So I’m asking if you’d work for me. With me. It won’t be anything like old days, if anything I— I need to learn from you.” He scoffs at himself. “Could take a thing or two about how to communicate with my staff.”
You smile, and he genuinely thinks you’re about to start laughing at him. You chuckle, but it’s not mean, it’s honest. Cute.
“You know, you have great timing.” You grin.
“I do?” the smile on his face reflects the hope he feels.
“One of my chefs wants to take over the place for me. Well, has been wanting to. I haven’t had an exact reason to say yes to her yet.” You shrugged. “Guess I do now.”
“…Is that you saying yes?”
“It’s definitely not me saying no.” Your eyes meet his, and there’s something between you both that’s different now. It’s not like there’s a switch that’s been flipped. It‘s more like this conversation was the turning page of a new chapter.
“I’ll think about it. I want to see it first. Maybe talk to some of your staff.” Carmen’s chest strains a little when he thinks about you interacting with Richie. Then he’s reassured when he thinks about you interacting with Sydney or Marcus. You’d fit in well, you have great feeling for people.
“Yeah— yeah, I get that. Totally. I can arrange that. Uhm, we’re renovating right now, actually, it’s all really kinda wild, but if you wanna stop by, chat with Syd, or Nat, or talk about the plans, let me know. I’m sure they’d love to talk to you.” He’s not lying, you seem like you’d get along well with them. Especially Sydney. Your thinking processes are very similar to each other. And to his.
Carmen gets the bill, even though you try to pay for it.
“It’s just a coffee, just let me get this one.”
You let him have this one, simply because you can’t argue with him after the conversation you just had. You’re in too good of a mood after his proposition too.
He walks you to your car, hands in his pockets when you reach it. It’s cold outside, and his breath comes out in visible puffs of air. His nose is a little red, but you think it looks cute.
“Thanks for coming, by the way,” he starts, “I know you didn’t have to. Like— after how I acted to you. But— But I really do appreciate that you’re givin' me a chance here.” He’d always been confused about how positive and faithful you were in people. He never thought he’d be grateful for those exact features too.
“No worries, I… I had a good time. I’m glad we talked.” The keys jingle as you fidget with them. Among them is a keychain in the shape of a cherry, he recognizes it. It reminds him of how little you’ve both changed. And how much.
“Yeah.” He sighs. Relieved, almost. “Me too. But I’ll let you leave, might wanna tell your chef the good news.”
“Good news?” You quirk an eyebrow.
“That you’re selling them the business.”
“I haven’t decided yet, Carm.” You scoff. But he can tell you have, you look too excited about it all to not have your mind made up yet. It excites him too. Scares him a bit as well, but what’s a new chapter without a bit of tension?
“Right. Sorry.” He huffs. “Just text me when you wanna head over to see the place. It’s uh… It’s a work in progress, but it’s getting somewhere.”
“I believe you. I’m looking forward to it.” You lean back against your car a little.
“Yeah. Me too.”
“See y’around?” You unlock it and walk up to the driver’s side.
“Course. Uh, don’t be a stranger.”
You grin, leaning down to get into the vehicle. “Never with you, Berzatto.”
He watches you drive off, standing in the cold for far longer than any sensible person has any business standing there. But he feels good. He feels warm.
He thinks about what you said to him before you left. You were right, you were never a stranger to him. You were always like a constant in his life; whether you were actually present or not. And even if he didn’t know that much about you, which he was insistent on changing, you were never a stranger.
Never with him.
tag list <3
@beebslebobs @thatone-brightstar @spr3id @deadandstill @777iii @magicboytrash @dogdevourer @wiipes @sierrahhh @crayzmarvelfan800 @azxulaa @astridyoo15 @rexorangecouny @azxulaa @jointherebellion215 @diorrfairy @chanluuvr @idontexist-anymore @wolfiealina
#carmenmath#aster writes the bear#carmen berzatto writing#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto the bear#carmen berzatto imagine#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto blurb#carmen berzatto x y/n#jeremy allen white imagine#jeremy allen white fic#carmy berzatto#carmen berzatto the bear fx
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HELLO
I'M BACK
So much has happened this summer (I finished grad school! I moved halfway across the country!) and I'm trying to get back into a routine that involves having a life again: reading books, watching movies, playing video games, and, of course, drawing and painting again.
I am currently revamping my website. For many years, my website was solely a professional portfolio and shop. White background, simple links, zero personality. Purely a hub to point to my social medias, where all the fun stuff was. I hated going to my own website because it was boring and uninspiring.
Last year, I made a neocities account and learned HTML/CSS for fun. I became obsessed after realizing how much more exciting it is to NOT have a bland, minimalist, corporate-esque website. I love exploring everyone's fun neocities sites, which are nostalgic and truly personalized. It made me hate my old website even more. Then I had a big brain moment: incorporate the fun elements of my neocities site into my website. LOOK AT IT NOW. There is COLOR. Silly fonts. There is a pixelated space background. Tiny gifs sprinkled about!
I will be actually be maintaining my website's blog. That's where the main, long-form content of all my art-making will live. Social media will just get snippets of that content. I do think there is a way to connect Tumblr to my blog so that whatever I post there will be posted here, too, but I haven't tried it yet.
Anyway, Hello Hello Hello Tumblr!
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Progress update :3
Hello! life is still pretty rough and I'm still not 100% ;w; but I'm working on things! Mostly gui and customisation!
Things I've been working on:
(SPOILERS!)
New text colours and fonts (I'll be adding an option to disable this dw!)
Revamping the character customiser! (This has basically been the only that I'm working on as of late cries)
added all new ending symbols
added a new sign to the mainmenu that changes everytime the game launches
completed moving over Spikes parts
added simple qtes for intense moments
skip and notification now changes colour for each chapter
given into peer pressure lol I'm adding a new route where MC doesn't freak out when they remove Kevin's hair-tie
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O9. 𝓣𝐇𝐄 𝓓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑 ( revamped )
hi! if you remember, around two years ago I made this trading card template called the dreamer. it was a template based on a mix of tarot card designs and trading cards. i decided to change up some things within the template to make it more visually pleasing. (you can find the old template here).
(again, no particular instructions. there are many folders in the right and left card, if you need any help, feel free to send an ask). new template link in the source; kindly give credits if/when you use it.
fonts used: archivo, times new roman, playfair display
#roleplay resources#template#character template#discord rp#muse template#photoshop template#psd template#rp template#character design#psds#psd#literate rp#roleplay#discord roleplay#resources#character resources#rp resources#tarot#deviantart
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Theme #06: Afflatus by @pneuma-themes
I promise to plant kisses like seeds on your body, so in time you can grow to love yourself as I love you.
Live Preview (Temporary) / Static Preview: [Index with header] [Index without header] [Permalink] / Get the code: [pastebin] [github]
This is a revamp of an older design I had over at @kuzuriha, namely this design. This theme is suitable for all kinds of blog, but can also be customized to be writing-heavy friendly.
Features:
Customizable post width and font size. The live preview uses 650px posts and 13px font size. Enter the size of the post you want on the post size field and the font size on the font size field.
Four custom links.
A full width header which can be disabled or enabled. The image of your header should be the full width of your screen x 400px (w x h). For example, if your screen width is 1900 then your header image should be 1900 x 400px.
A built-in update box which comes in with 4 default rows, though provided you know how to add more rows, it can have unlimited rows. This box can also be used as whatever you want instead. Customization guide is provided below the read more.
Customizable photoset gutter. Enter the size for your photoset gutter on the photoset gutter field.
Built-in lightbox for photoset posts.
Mostly NPF friendly.
An extra quote which will be displayed on the top bar. If you do not wish to enter any quote, you can leave it empty instead.
Notes:
Usual disclaimer and discretion on NPF posts apply.
Credits:
Header: @xathrid
Icon fonts: boxicons
NPF v3.0 fix, minify spotify player: @glenthemes
Minified soundcloud player: @shythemes
Font: Nunito @ Google Fonts
Responsive video script: @nouvae
customAudio.js: @annasthms
photoset.css with lightbox: @annasthms and @eggdesign
Please like and reblog if you like this and or are using it!
Customization for the update box is divided into two parts, customizing the icons on the rows and the actual content of the row:
The update row # icon receives the input of your preferred icon names. To find your desired icon, go to https://boxicons.com/ and find whatever icon you want. Once you find them, simply copy the name (circled red on the image below) and add them to the icon field.
The update row # content receives the input of your update content. It can be anything you want.
#themehunter#theme hunter#allresources#completeresources#*theme: afflatus#*mine: theme#*mine: all#it has been 3000 years...#also fixed a stupid bug on mnemosyne and sakurairo when i pushed this theme#should make a post about it too
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Nel silenzio nasce la prima discarica di pale eoliche, frutto del 'revamping' dell'impianto di 'Sardaeolica' (gruppo SARAS) di Ulassai.
Dopo avere effettuato il potenziamento delle turbine nel 2019 le vecchie pale sono state prima parcheggiate per diversi anni al porto di Arbatax per essere (in teoria) smaltite da un azienda pugliese, purtroppo era tutta una messa in scena, infatti appena si diffuse la notizia sui giornali hanno ben pensato di nascondere tutto in un'area abbandonata della vecchia cartiera, dove rimangono tutt'ora.
Ma non preoccupiamoci, è tutto per il nostro bene..
Svegliamoci!!
Per chi volesse verificare lascio coordinate della posizione :
39.935806,9.694540 📍
Fonte: terra nova
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