#rest is under the tag swan song

[milliesfishes]

Enchanted (Part Four)𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼

[fem reader] contains: kidnapping, prejudice, death, blood, angst pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: pirate billy x mermaid reader author’s note: based on my love @francixoxoxo 's pirate billy au- leaving the tag below. thank you all for the support on this series! it's been such a blast to write, I'm really proud of this one <3 Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

Many a man had been claimed by a siren’s song, and Billy was no exception. Though the way he’d been pulled under differed slightly from the others.

He stumbled across you singing one day when you were awaiting him on the beach, lying staring up at the sky as the tide re-soaked your tail. The words flowed from your mouth in a haunting, tantalizing way. But it was still you. He could hear the sweetness underneath it. That was his girl.

Kneeling at your side, Billy reached for your hand. “That’s pretty, baby.”

Your eyes widened and your head whipped to face him. Now your hands were on his face, his chest, seemingly checking for something. “Are you okay?”

He frowned in confusion. “Yeah, sweet, I’m alright.”

Still, you searched his eyes, breathing quickening. “I didn’t mean to sing in front of you…I’m sorry, I’m-”

“Hey, hey,” Billy’s brow was furrowed worriedly, and he reached for your hands, squeezing them. “What’re ya sorry for?”

“My…my song…” you choked, nearly hysterical. Your eyes wandered his face as if waiting for something terrible to happen. “It can hurt humans. I’ve never used it before…I don’t wanna hurt you, I-”

He pulled you into a hug before you could say anything else, trying to soothe you. Billy had never seen you this upset before, this despondent. The mere thought of hurting him was hurting you, and his heart swelled. 

The next time he came to the shore, you were bubbly and all smiles, reaching up for him with grabby hands like a baby. It was the polar opposite of how he’d left you last time, with a kiss to your brow and a promise he was okay. 

He succumbed to your touch, letting you pull him in for a long kiss. You broke it off, already chattering. “I found the answer! About my siren song!”

Grinning, he gently chucked you under the chin, a little unsure what you’d needed an answer to. “‘Course ya did, baby. Knew ya would.”

You threw your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck. Though your voice was muffled by skin, he was able to make out the words, “It’s ‘cause I love you.”

“What is?” he murmured, face half in your hair.

“My song didn’t affect you,” you explained, still burrowed against him. “It should have sent you into a trance. But it didn’t and it’s because I love you.”

Pulling back, you tilted your head, watching his reaction. Smiling, Billy leaned in, planting a kiss on your mouth and pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb. He looked at you like you’d dotted every star in the sky. “You’re a wonder,” he said softly, his voice full of awe. “My girl…”

The rest of the night was spent with you bundled up in his arms. At his insistence, you were singing softly, hesitant at first, but leaning more into it as you saw the only effect on him was the lovestruck look in his eyes.

“My true love’s blood/ mixed with my tears/I drank it and walked/’till the end of my years.”

Billy was nearly in a trance at your voice. He shifted you against his chest, lowering his lips to your hair. “Pretty.”

You smiled softly, the look in your eyes reminiscent of the sea on a calm day. “It’s one of my favorites.”

“Why?” he asked casually, his fingers trailing up your back into your hair. It was a subject of fascination to him, the way it flowed over your body as if it were silk, covered your torso modestly, but stuck to you like a second skin when it was wet. Billy loved to touch it, wind it around his fingers, braid it like rope. Sometimes he'd find primrose growing nearby and stick it between your strands, creating a crown of flowers that you wore regally.

You rested your chin on his chest. He’d removed his shirt earlier, knowing you liked to be skin-to skin with him. It was an intimate action that filled his heart with a gentle fire like a hearth in the winter. “It’s supposedly a recipe for how to turn a mermaid into a human forever.”

“Really?” Billy’s interest was piqued, and he hummed in thought. “‘S that somethin’ you’d wanna do?”

Half shrugging, you moved so your ear was over his heart, the steady thump a comforting thing. He adjusted the flower behind your ear and you smiled. “I’m not sure. But it’s nice to think about sometimes.”

Billy watched your expression, the way you visibly relaxed when you were between his arms. Now the future called from the horizon, and he watched the fantasies play out. He saw himself saving up enough to quit piracy forever and get a little house on the bay, where he’d see you every day. He watched his silhouette become a fisherman and live out the rest of his days that way, you at his side, always waving at him from the water. And maybe once in a blue moon you’d come ashore for a night and he’d get to hold you as he fell asleep.

These visions in mind, he looked back down at you, with your shimmery tail and long, lovely hair. “I’m happy with whatever you want, angel. ‘S long as you still want me ‘round. Even then I’d be fine dreamin’ of you forever.”

Lifting your head, you smiled at him in a bittersweet way. But there was hope in your eyes, he could see it ignite. “I don’t ever want you to let go of me.”

“I won’t,” he said instantly, leaning down and kissing your forehead with the gentlest of touches. “Isn’t gonna get better than this, sweet. Not one bit.”

With a sweet smile, you reached your hand up, fist closed around something. He cocked his head when you placed a little blue shell on his chest, pale and perfect. 

Grinning, he took it in his hand, and your pretty one came up to close his fingers around it. “Didja bring this for me, sweet girl?”

Nodding enthusiastically, you rested your chin on his chest, hair falling over him in its curtain-like way. “It looks like your eyes. And the ocean. And my tail.”

Billy raised his hand to rest on the crown of your head, bringing your face down so he could kiss you softly. He nudged his nose against yours. “All my favorite things.”

Your lovely laughter echoed in his head long after the fact.

It was bouncing around in his head now, as he awoke on the rocking ship, dreams lingering in his mind before they were lost to waking.

Springing up, he nearly fell out of his hammock when he heard the shout of Land, ho! Three days of sailing had finally amounted to the destination.

After the harrowing events of that fateful night you'd been stolen from him, he'd asked around back at port about mermaid bidders with a throbbing head and a sore lip. An older fisherman had directed him to a boat leaving within the hour, setting sail for Imber, the island Murphy and the crew were likely headed for.

Marching up to the ship's captain, he'd offered his services in exchange for passage, and the man had agreed. Billy worked and toiled over the ship, hardly able to think of anything except for you.

The circumstances were dire. You were in the hands of ruthless pirates, all of which had incentive to hurt you. He knew his sweet girl. He knew you wouldn't use your mermaid's powers against them no matter how bad things got. Even though you could have drowned them all in a second with a single note of your voice, you were too gentle, too empathetic to humans as a whole to even open your mouth.

There was no control to be had. Not yet. So, he labored diligently to try and get to the location. You were his compass, pointing to the big red X on the map of his heart. 

His body ached for you. At all times he could see your shadow swimming in front of his eyes, asking a question he was happy to have the answer to. Oh, he'd never let you leave his arms again. He'd make a thousand vows, utter even more apologies, bundle you in his arms with nothing between your bodies. 

With the determination of a man in love, he marched down the plank ashore, breathing in the scent of fish for sale and rotting wood of the time-worn dinghies bobbing nearby. He didn’t see Jesse’s ship in the harbor, though. The town was bustling, a steady hum of chatter giving him hope. Someone around here had to have seen a crew of pirates transporting a mermaid.

The first ten people he questioned hadn’t. Nor did the following twenty. All day he grabbed the arms of passerby, begging for any tiny detail that could lead him to your captors. But nobody had seen a thing, and quite a few thought he’d had too much sun for talking about mermaids. He was losing his resolve, dreading that maybe he’d come to the wrong island, or worse, that the crew had already rid themselves of you, sailing off with a ship weighed down in gold.

Finally, after dark, he came across a man with a harsh sunburn who was gutting a fish and admitted he knew of someone who worked in mystical dealings. “He’s an odd fella, but maybe ‘e can help ya,” he said roughly, nodding east. “Lives just outside town. Little shack on the shore. Can’t miss it.”

Billy thanked him eagerly, half-running in that direction as he did. If the crew had already passed through town, maybe whoever the sunburned man mentioned already had you. And while Billy didn’t have much in the way of funds, he was a pirate. Normally he cursed the fact, but now he reveled in it. Maybe his lifestyle would finally be of some use and he’d be able to steal you away.

The shack was ominous, more so than it would have been in the light; old and weathered by years of use. Billy warily approached it, summoning his courage. It was for you. He repeated the phrase like a mantra over and over again as he knocked on the door. 

A man just as haggard as his dwelling answered, peering at Billy through a crack in the door. “Can I help you?”

Shifting on his feet, Billy straightened to his full height, trying not to let on his fear. “I was wonderin’...have ya heard anythin’ ‘bout or seen anyone with…a mermaid?” The last part was said in wary tones. He waited for the man to call him crazy or shut the door in his face. After hours of asking that very question of so many people, Billy was aware of how crazy it sounded.

To his surprise, the old man’s eyes lit up. He opened the door fully, stepping outside and shutting it behind him. When he leaned in, Billy could see how cloudy his eyes were, as if he was nearly blind. “There was a pirate here earlier. He spoke of a mermaid. Apparently he’d heard of some of the trading I involve myself with.” His speech was surprisingly elegant given the circumstances, but it made Billy lean in. He nodded, encouraging the old man to continue.

“Folks speak of seeing mermaids all the time, but he had one with him,” the man tapped his chin. “Pretty little thing. Looked scared.”

“And what happened to her? Do you have her?” Billy looked up over him at the shack, as if it would reveal you behind the walls.

“No,” the man shook his head, and Billy’s shoulders slumped. “They said they would come up with another offer and come back tomorrow. The price I gave wasn’t high enough.” He shrugged. “It is what it is. Couldn’t give ‘em more because she was so weak. Brings the value down.”

Hearing that you were in an unstable condition only increased Billy’s worries. He shook off the comment about your worth. The man didn’t know better. “D’ya know where they are now?”

“There’s a little cove just a mile north,” the man nodded, casting his eyes to the side as he thought. “They didn’t wanna take her offboard so they brought me there.” Then he suddenly looked up, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “You aren’t looking to buy, are you?”

Energized by the information, Billy quickly shook his head. “No. No, I…just was curious ‘bout…mermaids,” he finished lamely. 

The old man stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “I see. Well…wouldn’t get too close to the ship if I was you. They’re a nasty bunch.” He gave Billy a secretive look. “Maybe if I get my hands on her I can letcha see. For a price ‘f course.” Patting him once on the arm, the old man turned around, going back into his shack. “Good luck!”

 Billy’s eyes were fixed on the door after it shut, processing the information given. He looked northward, and without thinking, broke into a run. 

Everything reminded him of you. The moonlight took him back to the night he'd met you. The sand was remnant of the grains he'd find in his hair after a day well spent on the beach with you resting contently on top of him. But the most glaring thing was the ocean itself, ebbing and flowing as it was wont to do, conjuring images of your stormy eyes, thinly veiling the secrets beneath. Secrets he wouldn't dare name.

Fate was a mysterious thing, as mysterious as what it brought him. He yearned to rein it in but was as wild as a woman's heart. Billy had long known his future was as storm-tossed as his past, but with you, the present was clear, smooth, perfect for sailing into good-weathered places to remain forever.

He’d run the length of the earth to get you back.

Stumbling upon the cove, Billy instantly recognized the ship. It was half ashore, which was unusual, but he shrugged it off. As he got closer he could hear voices aboard. The tide lapped at his boots, and he strained to listen, but the sounds of the water muffled the voices.

Reaching up for the first rung of the makeshift ladder ingrained in the ship, Billy pulled himself up. This was the way you’d gotten up to visit him aboard so many times, and he marveled at your strength as he climbed. You’d done it without legs to support you, too.

Hauling himself up close to the railing, Billy peered up, hoping nobody would see him. Luckily, everyone on deck’s attention seemed fixed on someone in the direction of the hull.

He was able to make out Jesse from here, and Murphy too. Odd. He’d have thought the latter would have been the one everybody was listening to. Shifting where he was, Billy craned his head to try and see who was speaking. When he caught sight, his heart dropped and he nearly let go of the bars he was using to keep himself propped up.

Pat Garrett. His former crewmate.

They’d been like brothers, as close as Jesse and him had once been. But Pat had been marooned one day a few years ago, his reputation having made the law pay too close of attention to them. The action was for the safety of the crew, Jesse had said. It’d never sat right with Billy, and he silently held a grudge against his captain because of it.

Now, Pat seemed to be doing just fine, all trussed up in a commander’s uniform. He exuded power, and Billy could see Murphy and Jesse drawn to it like a fish to a hook. Even though he was closer to the action, he still couldn’t understand what they were saying. 

With what must have been Pat’s final word, everyone scattered, most heading belowdecks, likely toward the sleeping quarters. Murphy said something to Pat, and the two of them disappeared behind a door Billy knew to lead to the captain’s cabin.

Only Jesse remained on deck now, and for a moment, Billy could have sworn he saw him. Lowering himself a bit, Billy hoped the shadows of the ship and the night were hiding him well enough.

The captain stared at the spot near him for just a second, and then he turned around, going to a door he recognized as one where gunpowder used to be stored. Jesse was only in there for a few minutes, and when he came out he was holding a length of rope. He looked from side to side, as if checking for intruders, and in that instance, Billy knew that was where you were being kept.

You were so close he could almost feel your shape in his arms.

It was draining, being just above the ocean but not in it.

You could feel it below like it was your life force, the draw, the way it pulled at you. But there wasn't a lot you could do when you were tied up, stuffed into some back cabin of a ship.

Every day to keep you alive, a crew member shoved the door open and threw a crude bucket of water over your head so your tail wouldn't dry out. Then he would leave you, drenched and cold and alone, skin burning from the feel of the ropes. If they were ever removed, you knew there would be scars.

The room was windowless, which added to your desolation. It was dark in here, and you longed for the feel of the sun on your face, for the salt air on your tongue. Freedom was caged, and you wanted the key desperately.

You cried so much that first night, tears pouring like rivers. Not immune to the lore of them, the one who you'd met in the market- Jesse, you remembered, sat with you for hours, collecting your tears in tiny glass containers until you had no more water to spare. The little bottles were sitting on the floor near you, about twenty or so. It was almost like they were taunting you.

The only comfort to you now was the ghost of Billy's presence. He'd been on this ship, maybe in this very room. You pretended he was just outside the door, about to come in and scoop you up and tell you everything was okay.

Your body was weak. The first day trapped here you'd been sitting upright, but now you were lying on your side, eyes closed. The lack of sea rendered you unmovable.

The door creaked open, and you lifted your head wearily, seeing a figure in the doorway. Jesse again.

Was he here to collect more tears? Maybe pluck a scale from your tail while he was at it? The man shoved you to sit up, and you leaned your head back against the wall, closing your eyes again. Whatever he did, you hoped it would be quick.

Then you felt fingers undoing your bindings. Eyes opening, you turned your head to look at him. His face was firm as he loosened the ropes, tossing them to the side. "No sense in keepin' ya tied up," he said roughly, untying the final knot. "Isn't like you could get away."

With that he left, shutting the door and enshrouding you in darkness once more. You listlessly stretched your wrist out in front of your face, touching the burning part with your fingertips. It was hot. It hurt. You wanted to cry again, but you dreaded him coming back in and taking more tears.

Now that there were no restraints, your mind stupidly told you that you could get to the door. But your body was devoid of any strength, and you flopped to the ground again. Your limbs were heavy, your body akin to something shattered. Maybe you would die. And they wouldn't be able to use you.

Utter despair overtook your heart, and you let your hair fall over your shoulders and head, forehead resting on the wood beneath you. You hoped Billy would never find you, never have to see your crumpled form devoid of life. He could move on and find something else somewhere else. You wished a thousand things for him. None of them involved you.

At least you'd gotten to love so wonderfully before you died. Billy had taught you so much, given you all of him. You loved him desperately for it, and now you managed a weak smile at the thought, drawing a shuddering, gasping breath.

A creak sounded in the little room, and you didn't move, sure death was coming soon. What more could they possibly take from you? Life was slithering out of you the way the tide drew back from the sand.

Heavy bootsteps. Someone knelt beside you, knees touching your side. There was a hand in your hair, smoothing it. Stroking it. "Baby..."

An alarm sounded in your heart, and you lifted your head slowly with whatever strength you had left, blearily opening your eyes. Billy was sitting beside you, seeming relieved and concerned all rolled into one.

For a moment you were sure you'd died. He wouldn't be here otherwise, big hand on your head, feeling your cheek and looking at you with worried eyes. Then he whispered, "What’ve they done to my girl?"

Suddenly you registered the feel of his hand. Billy was here. He had come for you. Your eyes welled up, and you shakily let out a breathy sob.

Billy leaned down, lifting you up under your arms and pulling you into his lap, worn body supported by his chest. He buried his nose in your hair, pressing his lips there and holding you tight. "My baby...angel baby...my poor girl. I'm here, sweetie, I'm here. Oh, honey..."

He planted kiss after kiss on your face, almost trying to revive you with his touch. The presence of your lover gave you a little strength, and you sniffled, tears soaking his neck. There were a few little scars there, and when you lifted your head a bit, you could see them fading from his skin.

The pure joy you felt in seeing him could have replaced the sea for the rest of your life. Billy held you close, holding your limp body up, his strong arms contrasting it. You looked up at him, eyes wide. “How did you find me?”

“Asked around,” he muttered, his cheek pressed against your head. Nuzzling his nose against your hair, Billy brought his hand up to rest against the back of your head. “Woulda gone to the end of the world for m’ girl.” He studied your form, eyes catching on your dried tail. “Sweetheart…how long’s it been since you’ve seen the sea?”

“Not since that night,” you said softly, and he huffed, rubbing your arm. “They’ve been putting water on me.”

“Can only imagine how that’s goin’,” he frowned, looking around the room. His eyes caught on the bottles of tears. Reaching for one, he uncorked it, pouring it on your tail. The feel of the liquid made it twitch, and you felt slight rejuvenation.

Shaking your head, you stopped his hand before he could get another one. “Billy, those are my tears. They’re not gonna work on me.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s water and it’s makin’ ya feel better.” He firmly kissed your head. “I can see it. C’mon sweetie-” Propping you up so your back was against his chest, he secured one arm over your collarbone as he emptied the contents of each bottle one by one onto your tail, little strength coming with each one. Both your hands clutched his forearm, your head weakly leaning against him. 

He looked at you so tenderly, lovingly, that you nearly melted. He’d come for you; your hero, your love. Billy was too good to be true. On those lazy days of old on the shore he’d confessed to you his worries over his soul’s place. He hated his profession, his spot in the world. 

To himself he was nothing worth saving. A stain on your otherwise pure heart. But to you he was everything. You saw through the circumstances he’d been forced into and found who he truly was. A good man. The way he loved you was a sure indication.

And you’d be damned if he was hurt because he wanted to save you.

Before he could pour the last bottle, you tugged on his sleeve. “You need to get out of here…it’s not safe. You shouldn’t have come.” 

Face falling, he set the last bottle aside, shadowing with concern. His hand came up to brush your hair behind your ear. “Baby I ain’t leavin’ without you.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” you sniffled, shaking your head. “Not for me. You need to go.” 

He took your face in both his hands, thumbs smoothing your cheeks. “Honey, we’re gonna leave right now, m’kay? Both ‘f us.”

You were still worried as he scooped you up into his arms, standing and giving your brow a soft kiss. Something didn’t feel right. “Billy-”

The door burst open, pirates storming in and surrounding you. Unable to help it, you gave a helpless little yelp of fear, and Billy’s arms tightened around you. His head turned back and forth as the men raised their guns and swords, the threat apparent that they’d attack if he made a single move.

You felt the betrayal in waves. This had been his crew, his friends even. And now they were turning against him. Billy pressed your face into his shoulder, and you knew it was for your own safety. 

“Let us pass,” he demanded, his words rumbling through his chest and vibrating against your body. 

“Don’t think so,” a rough voice responded. “You’re holdin’ our money.”

“You had the chance to sell ‘er and ya didn’t, Murphy,” Billy responded, and you thought of the old man who’d poked and prodded at your tired body, speaking as though you weren’t in the room. How Billy knew, you had no idea. “Figured you weren’t gonna and I’d take matters into my own hands.”

“We ain’t sellin’ her,” Murphy responded. “That’s a one time payoff. What she has to offer’s much more valuable.”

Billy’s body tensed, and suddenly you knew what the bottles of tears had been for. “Either way she’s comin’ with me.”

“Slow down, Billy,” a new voice said. You lifted your head. It was that man with the mustache who’d come on the ship today. The way he looked at you was the way a shark eyed a fish. Billy tried to push your head back down, but you shook it once and he relented.

“Didn’t think I’d see ya ‘gain,” Billy responded to the mustached man. “Much less like this.”

“We’ve got a deal, Murphy and I,” the man said in even tones. “The law looks the other way and I get a little somethin’ for my efforts.”

Scoffing, Billy shook his head. “Never thought I’d see the day Pat Garrett was on that side.”

“Man’s gotta change to survive sometimes,” Pat folded his arms over his shiny uniform. 

“And yet here ya are,” Billy bit, and you tugged his collar. He was getting tense, too upset. Face softening as he looked at you, his tone grew benign. “Just let us go. Ya won’t ever see me or her again.”

Murphy and Pat exchanged looks. You could see Jesse standing slightly behind them, looking forlorn. There was tension in the air, and you held Billy tight, feeling his heartbeat race. He shifted you in his arms and covered your bare breast with one hand, having seen the eyes of some of the crew lingering on it. Normally you didn’t mind, but there was something in their gaze that made you vastly uncomfortable. And Billy had known. 

Lifting your chin, your eyes caught his, and you found safety in the blue of them. They reminded you of the water, clear and warm and wonderful. After being so deprived, you were swimming again.

He rested his cheek against your head, and your heart soared. Billy didn’t care about how the crew perceived him. It was clear by his actions and his expression that you were the only thing on his mind. And you loved him for it.

Turning back, you saw Murphy nod at Pat, and the mustached man lifted his chin at Billy. “Fine. Go.” He gave a motion, and the rest of the crew filed out of the room, save for Jesse.

Billy’s sigh of relief was soft, but you felt it, your own escaping you. He nodded at the three men, eyes landing back on you in the end. Adjusting your hair so it fell over your breast, he steadied his arms around you so he had a better grasp. Eyes tender, he dropped his nose to your hair, kissing it and whispering, “It’s gonna be okay,” with his lips touching you still. 

In his eyes you saw hope for the first time in days. Your Billy was here. He was here and he was going to get you out.

It happened in a flash. One minute Billy was taking a step, the next you were being wrenched from his arms, and then there was a gunshot. Billy hadn’t had his pistol drawn.

You squirmed and wriggled in the arms of whoever had grabbed you, digging your nails into your captor. He dropped you, cursing, and you crashed to the ground, whimpering in pain. His footsteps sounded as he ran, and you thanked the sea gods he did.

When you had your bearings again, you lifted your head, pushing hair out of your eyes. One of the men had collapsed, groaning in pain. The other two were standing above him, a pistol in one of their hands. You crawled forward, trying to see who it was, heart pounding in dread. Please…please…

The two men noticed your movements and turned. Neither of their faces were Billy’s.

Your mouth opened in horror, and you reached out for him, trying desperately to get to his body. “No, no-!”

Murphy whispered something to Pat, and he exited promptly. Then he bent down, grabbing your arm and beginning to pull you away. “C’mon. Out.”

“No!” The wood burned against your tail as he dragged you away, and your breathing grew shaky. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from Billy, who was shifting on the ground, grunting in pain. As the older pirate lugged you away, you twisted at a new angle, catching sight of the wound on Billy’s chest. The blood.

A scream wrenched itself from your throat, piercing the air with your anguish. You didn’t think, your body acted on pure instinct. Though your eyes didn’t leave Billy, you heard Murphy shout in torment, and his hand shook around you. You turned your head to look at him, guilt creeping into your heart when you saw that his ears were bleeding, his eyes bloodshot. The effects of your siren’s voice had inched into his body, and now his knees were buckling, sending him falling face first onto the wooden planks of the ground. 

Breath hitching, you tried not to think about what you’d just done. Jerking your wrist away from his stiffened hold, you crawled toward your lover, gasping when you saw the extent of the wound. It was gaping, cut right through his chest. You took in shuddering breaths, shaking your head. There was blood dripping from him to the floor, and it stained your tail, your body as you leaned over him, hair brushing his side. “Billy-”

He smiled weakly at the sight of you, one hand grasping where the bullet had lodged. The other hand came to your face, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Hey baby…”

“You’re okay…you’re gonna be okay…please…” You tried to summon your tears, but the shock of the event and the guilt over your scream had stilled your ability. Looking around wildly, you saw the last bottle of tears, the one Billy hadn’t used on you. Relief washed over you as your hand stretched out to grasp it.

“He’ll…he’ll be back soon…” Billy breathed, and you weren’t sure if he was talking about Pat or Jesse. “You gotta…gotta…”

“It’ll be okay, all okay,” you murmured hurriedly, shaky hands struggling to uncork the bottle. “Let me do this and you’ll be okay, we’ll be able to get out-”

“No…’s too big…” he whispered, wincing as he looked down at the bloody puncture. “Baby-”

You shook your head, eyes widening when you thought you heard footsteps. “I can fix it, I’m so sorry, I can-”

“Baby.” His voice was urgent, and you paused your motions, dropping the cork. Billy drew you in with his eyes first, and then his hand was behind your head, pulling you down into a tender kiss. You could feel tears on his cheeks, which terrified you. But his lips moved against yours, and you lost yourself in it. There was so much love, so much care in that kiss, and your eyes fluttered shut, hand coming up to grasp his collar. 

You hardly noticed him prying the bottle from your hand.

Eyes flying open, you tried to reach for it, but he was already holding it to the hand covering his gash, letting a single drop of blood fall inside. Your eyes widened round as sand dollars when you realized what he was doing. “No-!”

He shoved the vial to your lips, using his hand in your hair to tilt your head back. The motion forced you to swallow it, the bitterness making you cough. Billy’s arm became weak, and he dropped the bottle, glass shattering on the ground. The shards created a treacherous surface beneath you, but you hardly paid attention due to the nature of what was happening now.

 -My true love’s blood/ mixed with my tears/I drank it and walked/’till the end of my years-

This was nothing like how it’d been when you’d come ashore with the pearl under your tongue. No, this was excruciating, pain ripping through your lower half in waves. You cried out, head falling against Billy. He stroked your hair soothingly, other hand still gripping his wound. Feebly, he said, “I know, I know, sweet girl…it’s okay, it’s okay…”

Your sobs were dry, heaving, and your tail went numb. The pain eased away, and you lifted your head, aghast when you saw that two long, smooth legs had replaced your tail.

Frozen in shock, you stared at your new limbs, hating yourself for ever singing that song for him. Hating even more that he had remembered it. Looking back at Billy, you saw his somber eyes. “It’s…the only way…t’...t’ make sure they couldn’t…”

Your mermaid tail was gone. Your value was diminished. There was nothing left to take from you. 

But they’d already taken the most important thing.

Broken glass cut your skin as you shifted to be near him, hair falling over his face. Like curtains, he’d told you once. Billy’s hand slid from your crown to your ear, tucking your hair behind it. He smiled in an ailing way and you could see the light in his eyes fading. “I ever tell ya…how beautiful…you are?”

Your body shook as the awful realization crept over you. His expression softened more, if that was possible, an unknown force settling between you. Billy used his hand on your head to bring you close once again, pressing a single kiss to your forehead. He held his lips to you for too short a time. “Go live…I taught ya everything I know…’bout bein’ human.”

“I will with you.” Tears were welling up in your eyes, but you held them back. They were useless now. “I still have so many questions. You need to show me more Billy, please-” your breath hitched as your voice filled with sorrow.

“You know love,” he thumbed your cheek weakly. “You know kisses. That’s the most important part.”

“No-” It felt like the only word you knew, and you put all your wishing power into it. “No, no, I only kiss people I love, remember? Remember you told me that?” Maybe if he remembers he’ll live, he’ll live if he keeps talking.

Billy merely smiled, looking more tired than you’d ever seen him. He ran his fingers through your hair, his favorite place. You laid your head down on his shoulder so it was easier for him. His voice was soft. “I know. ‘n you know too.”

Breaths quickening, you grasped for something, anything. You longed to hear his roughened lips wrapped around your name. Then you felt his hand stiffen in your hair. And that was when you knew. 

You couldn’t look up. You didn’t want to. He couldn’t have gone, he was just resting. He had looked so tired…

But you could no longer hear that steady thump of his heart.

Lifting your head, you ran your hand over his chest, feeling a little bump in his shirt pocket. Brow furrowing, you reached in, pulling out a familiar little blue shell. Lower lip wobbling, you couldn’t hold yourself back as the sight of it sent you into hysterics.

Shaking, you sobbed helplessly, fisting his shirt and willing him to open his eyes. Your tears fell now, atop his chest and his wound, but it hardly mattered. 

Now you truly had nothing. This was your first real taste of human life; crying bare and bleeding beside the body of the love of your life.

No map could guide you to the treasure you’d just lost. No pearls or gold could replace what you’d had before. What kind of torture was it for humans, falling in love only to lose it?

You laid there for a long time. Nobody disturbed you. You didn’t know where the crew or Pat or Jesse had gone and you didn’t care. The cowards had likely fled, not wanting to be caught on a ship with a body.

Eyes squeezed shut, head on his body, you pleaded with higher powers. “Please…please let him wake up…I’ll never sing again…I’ll leave the water forever…just let him live…please…”

Every second without him opened a new chasm of pain for you. Love still existed after its source was gone, and it frustrated you more than you could ever say. You tried to go numb, but it didn’t work.

Slowly, you resigned yourself to the fact that you’d have to get up and walk away, without him holding your hand to keep you steady. Lighter sobs escaped you, all the fight taken out. 

It was time to let go. Billy had kept his promise, and now it was your turn.

Pulling your hand over his chest for a final goodbye, your fingers halted at the spot where he’d been injured. It was smooth.

Your head shot up, eyes gaping as you inspected him. While blood still stained his shirt, the wound was closed. Brow furrowing, you slid your hand to his neck, touching the skin there. Warm.

It was impossible.

Leaning your head down to his chest, you pressed your head against it, listening for a sign, a flutter, anything. 

The steady thump of his heart met your ear. And now you felt his hand lift, resting in that familiar spot in your hair. Lips touched your hairline.

Your tears on his chest…you’d thought their power was gone…

Slowly, you looked up, praying it was real. That crooked smile met your stare, ocean blue eyes warm as he gazed at you. The hand in your hair stroked it lightly. Lips parting, a single word fell from them. 

“Angel.”

The sun was in the east, pouring the last rays of light down on the earth before it said its final goodnight. Salt tousled the air and the steady sound of the water hummed in the background.

You were lying stretched out in the sand, on the border between ocean and land, hair loose and tangled with the grainy substance. One of your legs bent slightly as the waves kissed your body lazily. Fiddling with the necklace of shells resting on your collarbone, you squinted up at the sky, waiting for the first glimpse of stars. They were one of your favorite parts about living above the water.

A shadow fell over your body, and you smiled fondly, reaching up for him. Billy knelt beside you, taking your outstretched hands and pulling you into a sitting position. He nosed one, two, now three kisses into your hair, wrapping his arms around you contentedly. “Hi, baby.”

Nuzzling your head into his chest, you breathed in softly. “Hi.” His heart beat against your ear, and you nodded, as if you’d been checking for the very sound.

Billy ran his fingers through your strands, causing sand to fall from it. He kissed your brow. “How’re ya feelin’?”

“Good,” you answered honestly, one hand fisting his linen shirt. “Really good.”

He rested his chin on your head. “I didn’t overwhelm you? Scare you?”

“No,” you breathed, resting in the crook of his neck and pressing a little kiss there. “It was wonderful.”

There was quiet for a moment, and the two of you sat freely, listening to the sounds of the water. Then he squeezed his arms around you. “I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to. Since you’re-”

Knowing what he was about to say, you cut him off. “No. I’m human now, remember?”

“Agree to disagree, sweetheart.” Billy traced your chin with his finger. “Your tears saved my life. You’re all mermaid through ‘n through.”

His words made you smile, and you let it go. Any mention of that day and you went soft. 

He’d given you freedom. You’d kept him alive. And you loved each other. It was more than a fair trade. A deal sealed in gentle kisses rather than a handshake.

Wanting to kiss him again, you looked up. He met your need immediately, nudging his nose against you afterward. You rubbed his cheek. “Do humans do that a lot?” Referring to your previous activities, you watched him with wide, innocent eyes.

Billy nodded, his hands on your hips, stroking you gently. “Yeah, honey. Whenever they feel like lovin’ on each other. Or when they wanna make babies.”

“I can’t do that part,” you mumbled, and he squeezed your sides softly. When mermaids grew legs, their reproductive organs were rendered useless.

“That’s okay,” Billy reassured you. “We’ll just do it for lovin’ then.”

That went straight to your heart, and you nodded, hand coming up to play with his necklace. A little blue shell on a string. “I love you.”

“I love you, angel,” he whispered into your hair. You never got tired of hearing it. He never got tired of saying it.

The sunset painted the sky brilliant colors reflecting in the water. Made all the more wonderful by Billy kissing you as gently as the waves did the sand. You snuggled close as the night’s chill fell over the earth.

Mermaid and human, halves from different worlds as one.

Previous part

[c3stlav1e]

Swan Song is the 14th mini album by La Vie under Rainbow Entertainment. It was released on June 1st, 2024. The album features 6 tracks plus a secret track on physical copies of the album, with Heartbeat Rhythm being the title track. It is available both physically and digitally.

La Vie promoted the album for 3 weeks in total. Heartbeat Rhythm peaked at 3 on the Circle Chart. The title track also charted on the Billboard Hot 100, peaking at 30. La Vie won 4 music show awards for Heartbeat Rhythm.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥  i. the tracklist !

♡ .   Intro: Act 1 originally composed by Tchaikovsky, re-worked by DAY1

♡ .   Heartbeat Rhythm ( title track ) produced by ROZE, M1KO, and Kang Sol

♡ .   In My Dreams produced by M1KO

♡ .   Fairy of Shampoo produced by ROZE and Kang Sol

♡ .   Black Swan produced by DAY1 and CHASER

♡ . My World produced by HWI and Hiro

♡ . Always Forever ( secret track ) produced by Salem Kueakulsri and Kang Sol, featuring Salem Kueakulsri on guitar and backing vocals

find salem at @plasticflwrs !!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ii. buy the album !

♡ .   White Swan version

. cd, photobook ( 150 p ), photocards ( 10ver. 2ea ), sticker sheet ( 1ver. 1ea ), tracklist ( 1ver. 1ea ), lyric book ( 1ver. 1ea ), Swan Song ribbon ( 2ver. 1ea )

. pre-orders only ; poster ( 5ver. 1ea ), polaroid card ( 5ver. 1ea ), signed polaroid ( 5 ver. 1 ea. random units )

♡ .   Black Swan version

. cd, photobook ( 150 p ), photocards ( 10ver. 2ea ), sticker sheet ( 1ver. 1ea ), tracklist ( 1ver. 1ea ), lyric book ( 1ver. 1ea ), Swan Song ribbon ( 2ver. 1ea )

. pre-orders only ; poster ( 5ver. 1ea ), polaroid card ( 5ver. 1ea ), signed polaroid ( 5 ver. 1 ea. random units )

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ iii. the styling !

♡ .   an all blonde era for the ages!!

♡ .   pinks, black and white, soft, ruffles, bows, ribbons, feminine and dainty

♡ .   one stage featured all white outfits completed with white feathered wings, emulating the white swan imagery

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ iv. the reception !

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ v. the highlights !

♡ .   as soon as the title of the album was announced, fans immediately began speculating that this was a disbandment comeback

♡ .   with the lack of response from rbe on the matter and fans eventually finding the secret track on physical copies titled "always forever," the speculations only grew

♡ .   it wasnt until anya went on life during promotions for the album and saw the influx of questions about disbandment did she deny the rumors

♡ .   "disbanding? no, we're not disbanding," she laughed, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth. "as far as i know, at least," she teased before moving on.

♡ .   the biggest thing that marred this era was the all-out war brought on by mari's single release only a few days after the album was dropped

♡ .   ot5 fans vs. mari solo fans was the majority of the fighting, but even ot6 and non-lovies were choosing sides and talking about the drama

♡ .   neither mari nor the rest of la vie had anything to say about it until an infamous, now deleted, live where tomi talks about mari's solo and exactly what she thinks about it

♡ .   some were shocked by this, calling tomi jealous or bitter while some fans agreed with what she had to say

♡ .   instagram stories from her private instagram account were later leaked showing her opinion on the topic

♡ .   other than the drama, this era was rather successful!

♡ .   the girls went viral for their ethereal beauty in several of their performance videos, especially the one where they donned white wings with their outfits

♡ .   #musicbankangels was trending for 2 days after the episode aired, a tag filled with lovies and non-fans alike posting fancams and fawning over their visuals, especially the innocent looking sohee

♡ .   the 2sun shippers got ahold of fairy of shampoo and went wild!! especially with sol having credits on the song

♡ .   the audio on tiktok was filled with edits of sunnie and sol almost immediately, and it started a trend with other wlw and lgbt ships as well, and pretty soon the song became the poster of gay relationships on the app

♡ .   it's unclear whether sol knew about the trend or not, but she did post a story to instagram featuring a table set for two with the audio overtop, sending the shippers into even more of a frenzy

♡ .   the group reprised a beloved series, lovie's fruit stand, with lovie lake, a series where the girls stayed in a cabin together on a lake in the mountains, relaxing and doing summer activities together such as having a barbecue, singing around a campfire, and even swimming in the lake

♡ .   the fans love the relaxing and cozy content from this series, and photo of anya lounging in an innertube on the lake unaware of star approaching mischievously in the background became a new reaction image that made the rounds all over stan twitter

♡ .   overall, this era truly made it's impact !!

[cakeemoji]

collection of fics i've written :]

| links in each section are sorted by most "recent" to oldest lol; click "read more" to view the rest (watered down my works in the mini description here so please read the tags of my pieces for more info !!)

rinhime works (enstars)

☆ forget-me-nots | rinhime bathe together and speak of philosophical things aka immortality (set in a universe i call "the warped tour au" hehe)

☆ a little death | rinhime metaphorical cannibalism

☆ favourite record | written for rinhime week 2023. one of the prompts was "alternative universe" so i wrote this in mind to crossover with mcr's concept album, "danger days". features crazy:b as killjoys and a little peek into their crazy lives :]

☆ black morgue + back to you | two-shot mini-series, based on the concept of a one-night stand, some love and the aftermath. third person limited, himeru-centric.

rinnazu works (enstars)

☆ rinne puts his boyfriend on speaker (WHAT HAPPENS NEXT WILL SHOCK YOU) | rinne gets a call from nazuna and puts him on speaker, traumatizing crazy:b for life (<-a pretty unserious work so i shared it under a separate pseud)

☆ u pretty, he ugly! u swan, he frog! | shu finds rinne and nazuna holding hands one not-so-peaceful morning. he assumes the worst

☆ hand in mine into ur icy blues | in which rinne and nazuna laze around on a snow day and warm each other up :3c (written in dec 2023)

applejuice works (twst)

☆ madol for your thoughts? | deuce and epel go on a date (very fluff-oriented ^_^)

☆ small, simple, safe price | deuce and epel bond over apple carving

mammon/reader works (shall we date?: obey me!)

☆ winter mood/dreaming of spring | emotional hurt/comfort, dabbled on idea of wanting to love + be loved while being terrified of commitment and never being good enough

☆ we'll get by, somehow | "i'm tired of losing people i love." - a take on a "what if" scenario where MC dies in L16 (<-personally, i think this is the best thing i've written for this fandom)

☆ bulletproof loneliness at best | in which reader finds old scars on mammon's back and comforts him, features small scene of bathing together and sleeping together (literal sense)

☆ where i belong | waking up from a nightmare and being comforted by the great mammon =]

☆ summertime | inspired by the devilgram "a private beach for two", short & sweet.

☆ hearts only hurt from here | heavy on hurt/comfort + implied/referenced self-harm. based on what i wanted to hear when i was in a dark place.

hidadei works (naruto)

☆ hands that god gave you | two gross men do gross things (care for each other)

☆ a lovely night | inspired by the song from la la land the musical; this was written in 2021 so it's definitely not all that great lol

[weltraum-vaquero]

| my ao3 |

Hi! You can call me Dicax or Vaq. I don’t take requests, but my inbox is always open. Toss your thoughts in there, and let's see where it goes ;)

I write mostly gender neutral x reader fics involving submissive male characters, but there is the occasional outlier.

For your convenience, you can also find all the works listed below under the tag #my writing

Finished works are bolded.

Abandoned works are italicized.

Each work that contains nsfw is appropriately tagged.

Works that contain no mention of reader’s anatomy (and are thus fully gender neutral and for anyone to enjoy) will be marked with an asterisk (*). The rest are written with AFAB anatomy in mind, but are otherwise perfectly gender neutral.

─── Jayce Talis/GN Reader

you could have it all (my empire of dirt) (NSFW. Multichapter. My absolute magnum opus. Western AU, 4/8 chapters posted)

a pillar, familiar* (SFW drabble. Angst + hurt/comfort after Jayce returns from the wild rune.)

edging jayce until he cries* (NSFW drabble. What it says on the tin)

lover, be good to me* (NSFW. Jayce unlearns his shame about having a micropenis by having sex about it.)

these boots were made for walkin' (but that's not what they'll do) (NSFW, Jayce grinds off on your boot)

underneath the tree, unpacking a present* (NSFW drabble, Jayce gets a blowjob while wearing a christmas dress)

academic rivals* (drabble, suggestive)

painted white* (NSFW, Jayce in lingerie + degradation + spanking)

Pervert Jayce (headcanons, suggestive)

Jayce comforting a grieving s/o (headcanons, hurt/comfort)

three things Jayce Talis is, one he isn’t (NSFW. Jayce loses his virginity to reader in his first year at the academy)

little spoon* (NSFW. Giving Jayce a handjob while spooning)

fitting* (NSFW. Jayce tries on a corset + nipple play.)

keep going (NSFW. Pussydrunk Jayce.)

amplitude and frequency (NSFW. Jayce gets caught masturbating to the thought of the reader)

do him justice* (NSFW drabble. Bondage + edging Jayce)

nerdy pickup lines* (suggestive drabble. Jayce trying to use a pickup line on reader in a bar and getting severely outdone.)

simplicity and heat (NSFW drabble. Cockwarming, service top Jayce)

a lesson in negotiation (NSFW. Horny, stressed Jayce being an absolute disaster)

─── Viktor/GN Reader

Convergence (AO3 only. Mid-timeskip/post-act I, reader is a doctor that wants to develop hextech prosthetics. some NSFW chapters.)

Swan song (Professor Viktor x TA reader. SFW with one NSFW chapter. TRANSMASCULINE reader in the final chapter.)

i only want sympathy (in the form of you crawling into bed with me) (NSFW. Reader has unrequited feelings for Jayce, sleeps with Viktor, hate sex ensues)

reflections* (NSFW. sub!Viktor gets praised in the mirror)

fuze & friction* ( AO3 only, modern crime AU)

slav viktor (headcanons, not x reader-centric)

perv viktor (headcanons, suggestive)

useful (NSFW drabble, pussydrunk Viktor overstimulating reader)

honey, I laugh when it sinks in (a pillar I am, upright) (NSFW, Viktor gets tied up and pegged)

─── Viktor/Jayce Talis/GN afab Reader

oak, moss, rain (NSFW, shower sex but make it artsy)

split in two (NSFW, Jayce gets pegged and spitroasted.)

what crumbles, what remains (NSFW. 69 with a twist + Trans!Vik)

torment, delight, something in-between (NSFW. Jayce gets his nipples pierced and crushes hard both on his roommate Viktor, and on his piercer.)

common tongue (of your loving) (NSFW. trans!Jayce x trans!Viktor x reader.)

[the-darkdragonfly]

NEW CHAPTER! A Trick of the Light

Chapter Eleven: Home Winds

Hello lovelies! I think we all owe a HUGE thanks to @donteattheappleshook for making sure I stayed on track for this long overdue chapter ♥️

♥️♥️♥️♥️

“So,” Emma said over a mouthful of toast- would you like some bread with your honey, love?- Hope lying at her feet under the table, happily singing old tavern songs Emma pretended not to hear. “Let me get this straight.” 

The Knights has called a Round Table, Emma snorting into her tea as the paige delivered the request for Killian’s presence- it’s just just such a wonderful use of corporate jargon, that’s all- to discuss the future of the kingdom, and to catch the new king up on anything and everything they felt he needed to know. 

Which was practically everything, much to his chagrin. 

“No one knows where Arthur is.” 

“Correct.” 

“No one knows what happened to Merlin.” 

“Correct.” 

“No one has seen or heard from Lancelot in ‘they can’t remember how long’.” 

“Correct again, love.” 

A small hand appeared beside Killian’s elbow and he leaned down to nip gently at the wiggling fingers, the hand disappeared at the same time as Hope’s manic giggling broke the comfortable quiet from beneath the wooden frame before her small hand reappeared, trying again. Killian smiled and pressed a slice of apple into her waiting palm- what do we say, lovie?- and her voice floated up to them amid the crunching of her treat- t’anks, daddy. 

Emma grinned wickedly at him for a moment and he narrowed his eyes at her- no, Swan, don’t- before she flicked her hair, correcting him as she usually did- Jones- and tucking the inevitable daddy comment away for future yielding.  

♥️♥️♥️♥️

Read the rest here.

Read my other stuff here.

♥️♥️♥️♥️

CS Tag List (let me know if you would like to be added!):

@elizabeethan @donteattheappleshook @sailtoafarawayland @teamhook @wefoundloveunderthelight @caught-in-the-filter @ultraluckycatnd @veryverynotgood @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @jrob64 @kmomof4 @artistic-writer @gingerpolyglot @xarandomdreamx @justanother-unluckysoul @zaharadessert @karlyfr13s @tiganasummertree @wyntereyez @klynn-stormz @onceratheart18 @rkrbirdgirl @ouatdaily @blowmiakisscolin @courtorderedcake @winterbaby89 @pirateprincessofpizza @superchocovian @deckerstarblanche @jlsadphoenix @alexa-fangirl-forever @stahlop @undercaffinatednightmare @lostintheskyfaraway @anmylica @motherkatereloyshipper @last-tsarina @lfh1226-linda @hookedmom @yikes-00 @midnightsuki @paradiselady19 @jonesfandomfanatic

[booksteaandtoomuchtv]

For You I Would Crawl (1/1)

AO3 Summary: Emma has a nightmare.

Tagging: @anmylica, @elfiola, @goforlaunchcee, @jrob64, @kmomof4 , @stahlop, @teamhook, @tiganasummertree, @undercaffinatednightmare, @xarandomdreamx, @zaharadessert

Author Note: Another fic brought to you by a song.

Emma looked pale under the flickering blue light coming from the television screen as it continued to play the programme she played before drifting to sleep. Killian slowly and gently removed the clicker from Emma’s grasp, holding his breath to keep his hand steady. Once he’d freed the device, he lowered the volume so she could continue resting. His attention strayed quickly from the absurd antics of the people on the screen to the stunning woman lying in his lap. 

Sleep had relaxed her features into an expression that made her look younger, almost childish. He marvelled, once again, that he was the man with whom she had chosen to share quiet moments like this one. Even after a few years of marriage, he was still astounded that he had somehow earned the honour of her trust and was permitted access to the achingly beautiful vulnerabilities his swan kept tucked away. The way she softened so completely in her sleep, the way she always curled onto her left side once she’d fallen asleep and the sigh she made once she finally crossed into the lands of Morpheus were tightly guarded secrets shared with no other living soul. 

Her face scrunched up tight and she mumbled lowly in her sleep. Killian smoothed the crease that was deepening between her eyebrows. “I’m here, love. You’re safe,” he spoke lowly, more of a rumble in his chest, trying to ease the concern on her features without waking her. 

“Don’t go,” she whimpered. Killian froze, his heart breaking at the pain and loss that even sleep could not keep from her voice. 

“Killian?” Her pleas tore his heart into more pieces, “No, please, Killian.”

“Love, I’m not going anywhere,” he murmured into her ear. He begged the universe, the gods, Morpheus - if he were real, to let her hear his words, to allow her that small comfort. 

When she cried out again, he decided that he could not allow this to continue any longer. He hauled her up so that she was resting on his chest and gently nudged her with the curve of his hook until her eyes slowly cracked open. Her gaze was unfocused, the dream still playing behind them. 

“You were dreaming, love.”

“I lost you. You were swallowed by the storm.” Her voice was quiet and woven with sleep and the desperation left by her nightmare. He rubbed his thumb soothingly along her cheek, lifting her head gently to catch her gaze.

“Emma, love, I am a better captain than that,” he reassured her gently with a crooked smile on his lips. Emma nodded, but her features were still haunted by whatever awful images her mind had conjured in her sleep. “I’ve faced many a storm and outrun curses,” he added as evidence to his previous claim. 

“I know,” she sighed and rested her head heavily on his chest. “I know,” she said again but it sounded like she actually believed her words this time. She nestled into his chest and he wrapped his arms tightly around her. 

“If a storm ever did pull us apart, I would find my way back to you. Your presence tugs at my heart with more clarity than even the stars can match. Nothing could keep me from you. I would crawl back to you, Swan, if I were unable to walk. I would not rest until you were back in my arms.

“If you wished it, I would find a way to join you in your dreams and keep you safe even there. Don’t you know? There is nothing I would not do for you, Swan. No place that I would not go. No torment that I would not endure.” 

Her sweet sigh drifted up to him moments later as she returned to the shores of the dreaming. 

He pressed a kiss onto her temple. “Sweet dreams, my love. I’ll keep the nightmares away.”

[velidewrites]

To get back what the Cauldron has taken from her, Elain Archeron makes a deal with Prythian’s most dangerous enemy.

Now, a servant of a cruel Death God, Elain must make sure her efforts are not discovered—especially not by someone tied to her darkening heart by a golden thread.

Someone like her mate.

Notes: My humble offering for @elucienweekofficial. This fic is a post-ACOSF story — and very close to my heart as it’s based on the very first one-shot I’ve ever written.

Tags: Post-ACOSF, Canon Compliant, NSFW

Read on AO3 || Chapter 1 || Masterlist

Chapter 4 - Fill Me With Your Poison

He came to her in a dream.

Every night, she would go to bed empty and wake up unchanged—would wake up to find out none of this had been some vile, cruel nightmare. It was simply…real.

The War had wrecked the last of it—her old life. For weeks after the Darkness, Elain wasted and wasted away—the visions consumed her, each one worse than the other. They pulled her back into the murky waters or burned her hands under a scorching fire; they cuffed her wrists in heavy chains or set her free, dirty and naked as she fell to the cold ground. She hurt, deeply and thoroughly, but the only lifeline that had ever appeared was that shimmering, golden thread as it offered to lead her into the light.

Elain had not once reached for it. Her hand felt heavy every time she’d lifted it, unable to reach the only thing that could ever save her. Something weighed on it, solid and cold—an iron ring wrapped around her finger, a reminder that she had lost and it was only fair that she’d lost herself too.

There was no going back. Rhysand had told her this gently shortly after they’d arrived, her nightgown still wet and clinging to her trembling body. To her limbs, longer and somehow more lithe now than they’d ever been. Even broken, she could feel the strength thrumming within her muscles, compelling her to move the mountains and shake the earth. To use it to fight, to set every last one of her instincts on alert, to get Feyre back and avenge everyone that had ever hurt Elain and her family.

Elain had never been a warrior. It’s what Feyre had become, though only after seeing her rampage in front of the King, Elain had realised that perhaps a warrior was what her sister had always been. Elain did not want to rage, did not want to avenge—she wanted to go home and live the life she’d been meant to live.

But that home hadn’t welcomed her back.

I am not marrying you, it had said. I will take whatever people occupy your lands. But not you. Never you.

With Father gone, and her fiancé despising what she’d become, Elain was left with no one—no link back to the life she wanted, only the visions showing her the life she would have. A bird soaring in the sky, its cries of pain carried through the wind. A lake, deep within the forest, dozens of swans floating atop it, all covered in the stench of rotten earth. A box, built from a hardened onyx, resting beneath the murky waters, singing an ancient, eerie song.

It was when she saw the box that he found her. He inhaled the fresh, salty scent of the tears she’d stained the pillow with night after night as though they were the sweetest nectar, a smile slowly curling the corners of his lips. He stood by her bed, but Elain knew he wasn’t there, not truly—her gaze was clouded by a fog, thick and oozing that dark, mouldy scent. Like he’d just stepped out of a lake.

Elain was not afraid—he was only a vision, after all—though she paled at the sight of him. He looked like a man—like a male, she reminded herself bitterly—but there was no denying the creature that must’ve lurked beneath his handsome face. He was handsome—his earth-black hair curling at the nape of his neck, a singular, silver streak swept back from his face. Sharp, high cheekbones and a thin mouth, as though perpetually tightened to keep his secrets inside where they belonged; pale skin, like a swan’s coat, and, finally, the most hypnotising of his features: his eyes, narrowed silently on her, shining a rich, mossy green.

She waited for him to speak—waited for his voice to dim into the fog, they way all voices had in her visions: always trying to tell her something, yet never patient enough to truly let her hear. But the male stood by her bed watching her curiously, head tilted an inch to the left as though he could not quite figure out how, exactly, he should look at her.

Elain sat up, pressing two fingers to her stinging cheeks, still raw from the salt she’d cried out before sleep enveloped her at last. “Who are you,” she whispered, the words not quite a question—as if, deep down, Elain already knew the answer.

His smile grew.

“Tell me your name,” she said louder, though her body shrank into itself as she realised that, vision or not, this male could probably kill her if he only pleased.

But then he stepped back into the fog, his figure melting back into the dark mist, leaving only that scent and the silky sound of his voice as he told her, “All in good time, my sweet.” The room sounded with laughter. “All in good time.”

After he’d left, Elain slept peacefully through the rest of the night.

The nightmares returned all too soon, though, Graysen’s face tormenting her ruthlessly as he repeated the words over and over in her head. I don’t want you. Not you. Never you.

He would not take her as she was—as the lie she’d become.

Gray, she sobbed back to him as she slept, it’s still me. This life, this body—I want you. It’s always been you.

Take that ring off, he said, not hearing her at all.

Elain refused him every time.

The rotten male returned when she was taken. They’d put her in chains, just as her visions had warned her but she never understood, too lost in the fog. The ice-cold metal—iron, she’d realised, an irony that nearly brought her to tears—burned her skin, leaving it raw and stinging as if she’d been put under the Cauldron’s lethal waters again. She kneeled, waiting for something—anything—to help her. And he listened.

“Look at you,” he murmured, as though the sight of her captured brought him pain. He dropped to one knee in front of her, a phantom knuckle brushing her cheek. Elain shivered. “Who dared?”

Elain rasped, “You know who.”

He hummed, her answer apparently what he’d been hoping for. “The wind may call you the Cauldron’s blessed, but earth whispers of your torment, Elain Archeron.”

She looked up at him, her eyes wide.

He smiled sadly. “And I hear every word.”

Elain looked deep into his green eyes. “What do you want from me?” she asked, because there had to have been something. He’d sought her out for a reason, or perhaps her vision had invited him in—but, Elain realised as he calmly returned her stare, his reasons hardly mattered. He was here, when everyone else was not. She was no longer alone.

The male said, “I only wish to give your heart what it longs for.”

“I have no heart,” Elain whispered. “Not anymore.”

He chuckled, as if the horrible words amused him. “You think you died, Elain, but if there is one thing in this world I know, it is Death. And, I can assure you, it has not found you yet.”

Elain felt it, then—that thing thrumming under his skin, the creature she knew she’d Seen before but had never truly reached. It sang the same melody the onyx box had—old and yet familiar, something she knew she would greet one day at the very end.

A low purr sounded in his chest, as if he’d heard the snapping sound of her realisation in his own head. “Say it.”

“You are a Death God,” Elain breathed, a term she’d heard from her sister once but hoped she would never have to hear again.

He looked delighted. “My name is Koschei, and I am Deathless. I come not from this world, Elain, but all the worlds beyond it, and their powers flows through my veins.” He smoothed a hand over her wrist, the heavy chain around it suddenly light at his touch. “I can help you.”

Elain swallowed. “I am beyond help.”

“Perhaps to your High Fae friends. Or even your captivating sister,” he mused, briefly gazing off to the distance, as if all his plans laid there waiting. Then, Koschei looked at her again. “But not to me.”

Elain froze, the very air in her lungs hardening into ice.

The Death God smiled. “I can give you what you wish for, Elain,” he said. “I can give you everything.”

“How,” she managed to choke out.

His palm covered her own, and Elain’s chest fell with a breath, the touch resembling burying her hands into soil. There was a time when Elain had gardened—even in their time of struggle, in the most vicious poverty, she would find ways to plant seeds of hope in the small square of land by the cottage. But then Elain had drowned, the earth too damaged, too ruined to ever invite hope inside it again.

But now, Elain had this. Him.

Perhaps she could garden again.

“I’m going to need your help, little Seer,” Koschei murmured, his mossy eyes still fixed on the iron cuff on her wrist. “And when your destiny is fulfilled, I shall offer you all that the Cauldron has so brutally taken. I shall offer all that you deserve.”

Elain sucked in a breath.

Koschei met her gaze. “I shall give you your humanity back.”

He rose to his feet, that fog thickening around him again. “Wait!” Elain called after him, desperation building in her chest. “What must I do?”

He only smiled. “I will see you soon, Elain Archeron.” He looked over his shoulder, a flicker of disdain flashing through his features before he looked at her again. “Fear not, my sweet. Help is coming.”

When her sister stormed in with the shadowsinger, Elain realised Koschei was right.

Help was coming, she thought, looking at her wrist, free from its chains long before the two of them arrived.

And then, Elain could finally live.

———

Feyre studied the map, dread continuing to build in her chest. Her finger grazed the small mark pinned to the northern territory indicating Windhaven, the war camp well-hidden between the mountains, never to be spotted by the untrained eye. The tattoos atop her skin swirled at the touch, as though they, too, could somehow sense the unease building underneath the perpetually frozen ground.

Nesta had just winnowed away, her usually guarded expression replaced by the same emotion Feyre couldn’t seem to shake. Cassian remained, his tall, broad frame leaned over the parchment as he looked up to meet her gaze. “Rhys?”

“He’ll agree,” Feyre said without a shadow of a doubt. “It’s not Rhys that’s the issue.”

Cassian grunted his agreement. “Will he be back by nightfall?” The Illyrian Steppes laid on the other end of their court—as far away from Velaris as possible, perhaps—but it wasn’t distance that posed the problem for her mate, but the warlords, seemingly as intent on a civil war as their counterparts in the mountains.

Feyre opened her mouth when she felt it.

The bond gleamed in her chest like starlight, twinkling softly as the sky began to darken. The scent of citrus and sea salt infused the evening air, and Feyre took in a deep, deep breath.

He was home.

“I hope you didn’t miss me too much,” Rhys said, entering the study, though the smile he flashed them both did not meet his eyes. Feyre reached out to squeeze his hand, and Rhys pulled her in to his body, pressing a warm kiss to her temple.

She placed a hand on his cheek. Are you okay?

Rhys brushed his fingers through her hair, watching as it fell down her back in soft waves. I am now.

Cassian offered them a strained smile. “Bad?”

“Bad,” Rhys agreed, stepping forward to examine the map himself. “But the good news is, they will not make the first move—unless Devlon provokes them, I suppose.”

The Night Court’s General frowned. “How did you manage that?”

Rhys only smiled, his thumb brushing the back of Feyre’s palm. “I wish I was able to do more.” Her chest hurt as he looked at her, violet eyes dim. “What did Nesta say?”

Cassian huffed a laugh. “She wants to go fight the warlords themselves.”

Rhys chuckled.

“I told her,” Feyre started, “to send Azriel instead.”

Her mate let out a long, long breath. “I see.”

“You don’t agree?” Feyre asked, more curious than anything else.

“Oh, I do,” Rhys said. “But it’s not my agreement you should be worried about.”

As if unable to help himself, Cassian chuckled. “You and Feyre seem to be of one mind.”

Rhys smiled at that, some of the usual light returning to his gaze. “That we are.”

Feyre turned to Cassian. “I think we should also send Gwyn.”

A glimmer of surprise passed down the bond. “Oh?”

Feyre explained, “She’s a Carynthian, is she not? And a Valkyrie.” Rhys nodded, something like understanding beginning to appear on his face. “I can’t possibly imagine a better fit.”

“I would agree,” Cassian said, his voice tight, “But Devlon despises her—and so do the rest of the warlords.” His eyes seemed to darken at that. “I don’t know if sending Gwyn could do us any good at this time.”

Feyre shrugged. “Perhaps she’ll see it fit to dispose of the problem, then. Good riddance.”

“Indeed,” Rhys said, his laughter shimmering down the bond. Feyre smiled.

“I will speak to her, then,” Cassian declared. “But if she doesn’t agree, Azriel will have to go alone.”

Feyre hummed. “Something tells me that she will. And if she does, I have no doubt Azriel will, too.”

Cassian snickered. “You have no idea how right you are,” he said, then looked out to the garden, already veiled in shadows from the falling night. “I’ll see you both tomorrow—unless…” he hesitated. “Unless there’s anything else?”

Rhys clapped his shoulder. “Go home, brother. We can worry about everything else later.”

Cassian nodded—and with that, he was gone, the sound of his wings cutting through the air echoing into the room.

Rhys stayed quiet until it faded. “Bed?”

Feyre sighed, a sudden wave of tiredness washing over her at the question. “Please.”

They walked upstairs hand in hand, Feyre silently inviting him into her mind, letting her mind drift as her mate watched her memory of the meeting. She could feel how tense he was from the way his back stiffened, powerful muscles shifting under a simple, black jacket. The one thing the Illyrian warlords had in common, it seemed, was the apparent distaste for unnecessary pomp.

What do you think? she asked him when he was done.

His chest heaved with a breath. I think I’d like to lay in bed with you and not think about it for a while.

Thank the Mother.

Rhys chuckled. After you, High Lady.

The night had not yet even fallen, but sleep threatened to swallow her whole as soon as Feyre’s back hit the soft blankets of their bed. How was your day? Rhys asked, lying down next to her, and she shifted to accommodate his large wings. Other than the civil war looming over our heads? she asked. It was fine. Although… she sighed, letting her eyes close for a moment. I worry about Elain.

Oh?

Finding a Dread Trove is no easy task, Feyre argued. And I know Nesta had managed it, but…I don’t know. She had training.

There are other ways to gain strength, my love, he said with an emotion that made her chest full. She rolled over to her side, finding Rhys already facing her, his eyes gleaming slightly as their gazes locked.

I know. After a while, she added, I’m glad she’ll have Lucien with her.

I’m not sure if either of them would agree.

Feyre huffed. Probably not. But this is more progress than any of them have made in over two years. Elain hasn’t even left the Night Court save for the human lands during the War. And Lucien…I feel like he’s everywhere, and yet somehow never where he’s supposed to be.

Rhys considered her words with a low hum that seemed to take root in her very bones. Playing matchmaker again, Feyre darling?

She traced a finger over his wing, making him shudder at the contact. Maybe.

He took her hand, brushing his lips over her knuckles. Don’t worry about Elain. I’m sure the Day Court will hold the answers we all need—and perhaps some of the answers she herself is looking for. He closed his eyes, as though sleep had begun to slowly tug at him, too. And when the Trove is found, we’ll be ready.

Do you really think the Trove will help us kill Koschei?

Gwyn said the ancient Seers used it to find answers in the future. I can’t imagine anything more helpful to us right now.

He was right—if Elain had somehow managed to find the Bone, there was a chance for this war to be prevented entirely. Stopping Beron would be one thing, but a Death God—not even Prythian united as one could stop Koschei with their weapons alone. There had to be something—anything—and perhaps the future held the answers.

She was so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed Rhys was staring at her again. I thought you fell asleep, she told him.

Rhys’s question surprised her entirely. Do you think we should tell Lucien?

Feyre stilled. You mean…?

Yeah.

I…don’t think so. No, she decided. Not while Beron is still alive.

Helion? Rhys asked.

He’d probably invoke the Blood Duel.

That’s an Autumn Court tradition, Rhys reminded her.

Feyre shrugged. I think he would see it fitting.

Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. Beron needs to die—and quickly. He added,  I’ll contact Eris in the morning. He should know—perhaps not the whole extent of it, but whatever we can tell him. His help might come in handy if… If there was another war. If all their lives were to be put at risk again.

Feyre sighed. I hope Elain knows what she’s gotten herself into.

———

Elain was breathless.

She had never seen a flying horse before—a Pegasus, as Lucien had explained to her on the way, though now that she’d seen one, Lucien’s description hardly seemed to do it justice. The beast was at least double the size of the horses she’d once ridden back home. With Graysen.

She quickly dismissed the memory, cataloguing it for later. She would often shuffle through them before she slept, allowing her mind to wander into the future when she could finally do it all again. She’d imagine herself on Graysen’s doorstep, her ears round and skin flushed, watching as his eyes widened in shock. You’re back, Elain, he would say, his mouth agape. You came back to me.

Soon, Elain thought, then looked back up to the sky.

The chestnut-coloured Pegasus was the High Lord’s favourite stallion’s, Meallan’s, mate. Elain watched as the beast proudly roamed the clouds, wondering how liberating it might feel to be so close to the sun. The horse neighed softly, as though in confirmation—as though it had somehow heard her words from above.

Forcing herself to focus on the task at hand, she tore her gaze off the sky—only to find Lucien staring openly at her, his eyes shining and lips parted slightly as he took her in.

“What?” she asked, the question coming out a tad more rudely than she’d intended.

Lucien didn’t seem to mind. “You’re smiling,” he said quietly.

Elain smothered it quickly. “It is improper to stare, you know.”

He cleared his throat, as if a veil had just been lifted from his mind. “You will find in our time here, lady, that I am many things—and proper is certainly not one of them.” There was an insinuation to his words, an air of promise that made her heart quicken, the golden creature inside her stirring to life and begging to play.

Elain gritted her teeth. “Stop calling me that.”

Lucien, the bastard, ginned. “Seems to me like being improper might just be the one thing we have in common.”

“We have nothing in common,” she told him tightly. Lucien’s smile only broadened, and he opened his mouth, a retort no doubt ready on his tongue when a rich, smooth voice sounded behind them, wrapping itself around Elain’s skin.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Helion Spell-Cleaver said, sunlight dancing in his golden eyes. “Emissaries.”

Lucien turned to face the High Lord, offering a brief nod. “Just guests,” he corrected, making Helion smile.

Elain had heard about the male from stories, but seeing him up close seemed to have even more of an effect. Helion Spell-Cleaver was, to be put quite simply, the sun personified, its light seemingly carrying his every step. She had no doubt those warm, golden rays coiled beneath his dark skin, thrumming gently with the kind of power that she’d only ever felt from Rhysand, ancient and passed down through generations, each one stronger than the other.

As welcoming as he appeared, the High Lord’s eyes remained sharp as they descended upon Elain. Her skin seemed to tingle under his assessment—and Elain stiffened as realisation slammed into her like a solid rock.

Helion’s power was the study of the very magic itself. There was little in his title to be left to interpretation—he cleaved spells, even those oldest and most complex, by feeling the various cords of magic lying beneath the surface and cutting through them, one by one. To Elain, it only meant one thing.

She was in danger.

If Helion could break the spells, he could surely detect them, too—which meant that the bargain she’d struck…

Elain stopped moving entirely.

“May I introduce you,” Lucien said to Helion, pulling her out of her haze, “to Elain Archeron.”

Helion stepped in closer, an easy smile still playing on his handsome features. “I’d be lying if I said I have not been waiting to meet you,” he told her, reaching to plant a courtier’s kiss on her hand, “Lady Elain.”

Lucien’s answering smile was a thing of mockery. “Oh, trust me—she is no lady.”

Helion pulled back, brows high with amusement and a somewhat incredulous expression. It was then that another fact she’d omitted came into Elain’s mind.

Everyone knew what Elain was to Lucien, and what Lucien was to her. An ill-fated match, two people tied to each other by some cruel joke.

Mates.

Lucien seemed to realise it, too, because he composed himself quickly, supposedly not ready to answer questions neither he nor Elain did not have the answers to themselves. Ever the emissary, he slipped into another topic with ease, “I assume you received my letter, then?”

Helion turned to him. “I did. My libraries are at your disposal, as they’ve always been for our allies at, ah…” His gaze swept over their unlikely pair, “the Night Court,” he finished with a smile.

It could not have been more ironic. The two of them looked nothing like Night’s envoys, none of the court’s usual sparkly fabrics and glinting jewels in sight. Elain had opted for a corseted dress—a terrible choice, she understood as quickly as she’d arrived—but it was so much like the gowns she’d used to wear back…back then. It only seemed fitting that, in a place meant to hold all the answers she was seeking, she ought to bring a piece of her old self with her. Now, though, with her hair pinned up and her gown making every single one of her breaths fall flat, Elain just looked…out of place.

Lucien, on the other hand, seemed to have prepared exceptionally well.

Had she not been avoiding him like the plague, Elain might have even asked him for advice. Lucien, to give him credit for something, had been dressed immaculately every time she’d seen him—which, by her own fault, had perhaps not been too often, but enough for Elain to decide if there was one good thing about the male she had no interest in, it was decidedly his fashion sense.

His usual fitted jacket had been replaced by a sleeveless tunic of a gleaming ivory, parts of it tucked in lazily into long, flowy pants of the same colour. The V-like shape cut the fabric down to his chest, revealing a golden-brown chest sculpted just as ridiculously as his arms—strong and muscled, and shimmering softly under the sunlight. His typical boots, modelled excellently for hunting, had been replaced too—a pair of golden sandals in their place, just barely visible under the pants flowing with his every step.

Combining comfort with elegance was clearly the fashion standard in Day—with its High Lord, too, draped in loose garments of white, the only difference being the hems lined with a vibrant, sapphire thread that brought out the shade of his kohl-lined eyes. She suddenly felt warm, a new heat rising to her cheeks—she’d never been known to fail when it came to such occasions. She suddenly felt like a little girl again, nine years old and overflowing with her mother’s too-long pearl necklaces as she’d sneak into her evening balls.

She wanted nothing more than to be shown to her chamber—where, hopefully, she could ask the staff if anything could be prepared for her last-minute—and go to bed in preparation for the day ahead.

Except, as she now noticed, the sun was still shining through the open archways carved into the walls of Helion’s palace, warm and golden, eager to play with her every step as the High Lord began leading them from the gates and through the main hallway.

“How is it still day here?” she asked him curiously.

Helion waved a hand, summoning the same bright light that poured in—a miniature sun of its own, glistening in the palm of his hand. She could’ve sworn she heard Lucien mutter a prayer to the Mother beside  her—something about the High Lords and Cauldron-damned show-offs—though Helion did not seem to heave heard as he explained, “While the Solar Courts adhere to the laws of nature, we at the Day Court like to hoard our sunlight for a little longer.”

“You’re the one keeping the sun up?” Elain asked, unable to wrap her head around the magnitude of such power. Helion hummed, apparently thoroughly pleased with her surprise. “My ancestors have been doing it for millennia—it is only fair that I keep up the tradition. It’s quite simple once you get the hang of it, really. I’ve been able to hold the sun for about an hour longer before I ascended my father’s throne.”

Lucien rolled his eyes.

“You must hold great power,” Elain praised, if only to aggravate him further. Helion’s mouth curled, and he opened his mouth when—

“Thank you for having us in your home,” Lucien cut in, Helion’s golden eyes flickering to him curiously. “It’s been a while since I’ve last been here.”

“Indeed,” the High Lord angled his head, dark hair spilling over his shoulder. “I hear you’ve been keeping to the human lands. Such a shame your allies could not make it here today.”

“The Wall has not been down for long enough,” Lucien said calmly, though she’d caught a hint of a strain in his voice. “Their trust will need to be earned.”

Helion hummed his agreement. “Perhaps tomorrow will be a good start.”

The sunlit hallway of pale, luminous stone led them to what Elain could only assume was the guest wing, large enough to fit in the entire River House judging by its impressive size. It seemed only fair, she supposed, given that the palace was not only the High Lord’s primary residence—but the home to his grand library, where scholars from all over the world would travel to to seek the precious knowledge it offered.

They stopped in front of a tall, ornate door when Helion said, “I’ve taken the liberty of assigning you adjoining rooms. Though,” he added, his brows high as he looked between them, “if there are any complications, do let me know at breakfast tomorrow. If you’ll care to join me, of course.”

Lucien nodded, Elain parroting the movement. She supposed she had no choice.

Helion looked at Lucien. “I understand this is a matter of discretion—you were impressively vague in your letter, well done,” he added at Lucien’s arched brow, “so I did not request for a scholar to assist you in your research. I must say, though, that the topic of your investigation has piqued my interest immensely, and I would be more than happy to discuss your ah, findings afterwards.”

“We’ll keep that in mind,” Lucien added dryly, which, for some reason, had only made Helion smirk.

“Of course you will,” he said smoothly. “I think you will find, Lucien Vanserra, that my knowledge could be of great use to you. What’s a little trust among friends, after all?” winked.

“Are you suggesting you might have a lead for us, Helion?” Elain asked, the High Lord’s gaze twinkling at the question.

“I’m suggesting I might be able to help you get started—if you trust me enough to share what it is precisely that you’re after.”

“Alright,” Lucien said, resting a casual hand on the golden doorknob to their chambers. “Perhaps you could help me with a personal question of my own, then.”

Elain stilled.

“Is it pertinent to your current research?” Helion asked.

“No,” Lucien said, though there was something about the quickness of the dismissal that made Elain doubt the word. “I simply want to see if your knowledge truly is as…impressive as you lead us to believe. Trust goes both ways, does it not, High Lord?”

Helion smiled openly now. “I always knew I liked you.”

Lucien’s answering smile was tight. “Perhaps, after all of this, I’ll be able to share the sentiment.”

Helion shook his head with a chuckle. “Ask away, son. I am incredibly curious to learn the nature of your problem.”

Lucien frowned, apparently not entirely sure what to make of the nickname. Still, he continued, “There is…an object.”

Elain’s eyes widened slightly. Was he…?

“An old family heirloom,” he clarified, a lie so blatant Elain knew with unwavering certainty what, exactly, Lucien was talking about. Even Helion’s brow flicked up, perhaps surprised at the idea of the one and only Lucien Vanserra, Autumn son in exile, keeping a remnant of his family history.

Lucien continued, “It has been…charmed,” he said. “Sealed—and impossible to open.”

Elain’s heart thrummed in her chest. The box.

Lucien had the box.

The one thing she’d been after—the price Koschei had asked for all those months ago when he’d found her in Hybern’s war camp—the same thing that Vassa had stolen, was now in the possession of none other than her mate.

Why do you need it? Elain had asked once, her own visions unable to provide the answer.

It is the key to my power, Koschei purred into her dream, caressing. It holds the thing that’s most precious to me, locked away by my siblings in a pathetic attempt to stifle me. My very soul, he said. Take it from my firebird thief and bring it back to my lake—and I shall return what was once lost to you.

Steal? she breathed. You want me to steal your soul from Vassa?

My firebird took it from me as I liberated her from the bounds of my lake, he said, a new, pulsing anger creeping into his tone. It is how she had repaid me for my good graces. Bring it to me, little Seer, he added, that voice softening as he crooned, and you will be human again.

“Have you tried your fire magic?” Helion’s question took her out of the memory. “If it’s a family heirloom, I would imagine a magic specific to your ancestry to be the key.”

Lucien chewed on his lip, Elain’s eyes now trailing the movement as she waited for his next lie, “The magic that bound it is…different. Ancient.” He took in a breath. “I can only speculate, but my guess is that it was done by an external magic, done to spite whoever owned it at the time.”

Helion’s gaze drifted, the High Lord deep in thought. “It is cursed, then” he mused lowly, Lucien tightly nodding his confirmation. “Bring it to my study,” he told him. “I will have look at it first thing tonight.”

Elain wasn’t sure she was breathing. Had Lucien brought the box here with him? A new hope filled her chest, replacing the fear her ticking clock had installed deep inside her, even louder now that she’d been made to leave the manor.

But Lucien was already shaking his head. “Out of the question. The object is not with me at the moment.”

Shit.

“I’m afraid a curse like that could only be cleaved under my magic’s scrutiny,” Helion said earnestly, disappointment already shadowing his features. Something told her the High Lord enjoyed this—the research, the mystery—saw it as a form of art, even. “Ancient magic had been known to only react to the power my line and I have been fortunate to possess.”

Something lit up deep in the corner of her mind, the same one she’d been ignoring ever since she had become Fae. Something that pushed itself onto her tongue before she could even think to stop it. “That’s not entirely true,” Elain spoke up.

Both males’ gaze flickered to her in surprise.

“That night,” Elain explained, casting a quick glance at Lucien, who stiffened immediately—as though the bond itself had told him what she spoke of. “In Hybern’s castle, you freed yourself from his chains. To—” her throat strained. “To get to me.”

Lucien only looked at her, and Elain realised this was the very first time either of them truly spoke of that night. She returned his stare, wishing but unable to look away, like a light pulling a ship to shore.

She was going to retract her statement—tell them she’d simply gotten confused and disappear into the darkness of her chamber—when Helion spoke again, his voice strangely quiet, “Explain it to me.”

Elain peeled her eyes off of Lucien, seemingly frozen in that utterly Fae sort of stillness, and looked at Helion. “I…may be blurry on the details. But I remember the King leashing Lucien and Tamlin to the ground by a strange, white-hot magic. And then…” and then they’d dragged her under. Elain was not going to speak of this now. “All I remember is a loud snap—and a flare of light. And then Lucien was beside me.”

“What…did the magic look like?” Helion asked carefully, and Elain frowned.

“I—bright. Iridescent,” she added, feeling a little stupid at the lack of knowledge she’d just revealed. Feyre would’ve remembered the exact shape—the scent, the shape it had taken—and painted it afterwards. Elain loosed a breath. “It felt warm. It…it shimmered on his skin,” she added quietly, praying that, in his strange daze, Lucien did not somehow hear her despite standing a mere two feet beside her.

Helion’s face was unreadable as he looked at Elain, unblinking. Then at Lucien, his gaze resting on his scarred face for a long, long time.

“Is there…something wrong?” Elain asked slowly.

The High Lord of Day twitched—actually twitched as he turned to her again. “This…” he cleared his throat, shaking off a strange raspiness that had found its way into his throat. “This is more complicated than I thought. I’m afraid,” he gave her a sympathetic smile before glancing at Lucien again, “I’m going to have to…research this further.”

Elain looked at Lucien, who blinked as she met his stare, a similar clarity returning into his own. He coughed before he said to Helion, “Take your time.”

Helion nodded. “In the meantime…the library is yours to use. Have a pleasant evening—the sun will be setting soon.”

Elain watched with a frown as he hurried away, his steps echoing quietly through the corridor. Only when they faded away did Elain turn to Lucien. “What was—”

But Lucien had already disappeared into their chambers, he, too, seemingly eager to forget about everything and let sleep welcome him at last.

Elain sighed at the thought. It would appear sleep would not come for her as easily.

Not when, as she made way towards her adjoining room, her steps were carried by the sound of his heart, beating rapidly through the stone.

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[anmylica]

Fly With The Black Swan

Tagging the Usual Crew: @kmomof4 @xarandomdreamx @tiganasummertree @snowbellewells @sotangledupinit @zaharadessert @whimsicallyenchantedrose @deckerstarblanche

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Summary: Captain Hook has finally returned to the Enchanted Forest after an all-too-long stint in the Enchanted Forest, ready to get his revenge, only he’s too late. His Crocodile has been killed by another, but the demon partially responsible for his Milah’s death remains. He sets out, determined to kill the demon once and for all, but a life or death situation puts him right in the demon’s clutches. Reluctantly, he joins the new Dark One, finding himself falling for her against his will and his motivations change. Now, he needs to save this woman from the same demon that killed his first love, and he plans out a way to save her.

But the Darkness has plans of its own.

CSSNS ‘23 Entry. Based on the Sonata Arctica song “Fly With The Black Swan”

Note: I have no idea if this is going to post or not. I am currently in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico with crappy satellite internet and none of my other attempts have gone through. Seriously, I’ve tried it a million times by this point. Maybe this time is the charm? I guess we’ll see. If it does post, I will be editing this Saturday to clean it up when I get home.

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The Jolly Roger landed hard in the ocean waters with a great splash that sent droplets of water into the air and on the deck, drenching most of her crew in the process. Captain Hook stood at the helm, seemingly unaffected by the wake, scanning the seas for any danger, always on his guard. He took a deep breath, turning his face up to the sun high in the sky, practically tasting the ocean on his tongue and thought, ‘This is what freedom smells like.’ The sails glittered with the remnants of the last vial of pixie dust he would ever have to use to get his ship airborne for a sojourn back to the Enchanted Forest again.

He had just spent countless years sailing the never ending circle of Neverland’s waters in the reluctant employ of a demon in a child’s body, never seeing the sun except for when he was Pan’s errand boy on a supply run back to the Enchanted Forest. His years under the deal with Pan were finally complete, and he felt that he had enough information to achieve his true mission: skinning his Crocodile.

Captain Hook stared at the cloudless sky, pondering his next steps as his first mate, William Smee, blundered about giving orders to the others. His crew scurried about letting out sails, hauling in lines, securing their goods, and generally making preparations to sail to the destination their captain ordered. Throughout the hustle and bustle, their captain stood stoic at the helm. He did not steer; his helmsman, Antonio Buckham, had the pleasure of directing the ship, and he stood with his hands tight on the wheel and his eyes on his captain’s profile, awaiting orders.

Hook’s forget-me-not blue eyes finally left the horizon and focused upon the map in front of him. If he had landed his ship in the location he had wanted, then he was just due south of Glowerhaven. This was a pirate-friendly port, and it was going to be the best place at which they could restock their supplies. He looked over at Buckham, who stood anticipating his orders.

“Make way to Glowerhaven,” Hook ordered, and Buckham nodded once.

“Aye, Captain,” he responded, turning to the rest of the crew before bellowing, “Make way to Glowerhaven!”

The crew repeated the order, and Buckham turned the wheel slightly as the others adjusted the sails. Through it all, Hook said nothing else, just watched the sea and the sky pass them by as they sailed towards their port of call. It was a sunny day with nary a cloud in the sky. A good wind at their backs filled the sails and carried them over the water so smoothly it was as if the ship was flying over the waves. All around the deck, his crew carried out their orders, bringing them into the port where they could find a tavern and food and relish their newfound freedom. Hook surveyed the work with disinterest, for so long as they arrived at their destination without issue, it did not matter to him how his crew did their jobs.

His cold, hard, forget-me-not blue eyes watched ahead of the bow as the land of the Enchanted Forest appeared in view. His jaw clenched at the sight. It was there that he would finally fulfill his life’s purpose. As the land grew closer and the short skyline of Glowerhaven became more distinct, he was filled with a sense that, at last, he was on the path for his vengeance. He was about to find his happy ending, however bittersweet it may be. A determined, almost manic glint filled his eyes, and his crew gave him side glances and moved away from him, hoping to avoid his ire, though he paid them no mind.

An hour later, The Jolly Roger had been docked into her berth, the crew had all left, and those tasked with her watch were settled in for a few hours. Hook was the last to leave, wanting to make sure everything was just so. He sauntered down the alleyways between buildings into a tavern at which he had long since been a patron. He knew that the last pieces of his plan could be crafted with information the owner likely had.

He opened the door and stepped inside, scanning the room for any potentially unsavory situations. The room was dimly lit and dirty, much like all portside taverns throughout the realms of the Enchanted Forest. Rough hewn tables of various sizes filled the room and stools of varying heights were haphazardly placed by each table. There weren’t many people occupying the tavern at this time of day, and so most of the tables were empty. His crew occupied a few, already having drinks and food delivered by several barmaids. The bar was manned by a lone attendant, and it was to her that he made his way.

He slid onto a stool at the bar in front of her with a beguiling grin on his face. The old woman scoffed and rolled her eyes, but she moved closer, grabbing a bottle of rum and a glass on her way.

“What are you scallywags doing here,” she demanded, plunking down the bottle and glass roughly. She looked over her glasses at Hook and stared him down, causing him to grin even wider.

“Is that any way to greet an old friend,” he responded, moving to open the bottle and pour himself a finger’s width of rum. He had no plans on getting drunk, but he wasn’t about to turn down the libation.

“You’re hardly a friend,” she retorted, causing him to laugh.

“A patron then,” he amended. “A well-paying patron.”

The woman surveyed him hard and then nodded. “What do you want, Hook?”

He shook his head slightly as he raised the glass to his lips and knocked back the measure of rum. “Many things,” he said, placing the glass back on the bar. “Mostly, I’d like information at the moment.”

The woman crossed her arms. “I ain’t got information.”

Hook smirked. “Come, now, Granny, you and I both know you’re the best there is at collecting information. And we both know how valuable I find it.”

He took out his coin purse and very deliberately counted out five doubloons. Granny watched him as he did so, quirking an eyebrow at him before sighing.

“You want to know about the Dark One’s movements,” she said, grabbing a second glass and pouring herself a measure of rum.

“Aye.” Hook eyed her with curiosity, as this was definitely out of the norm for their usual pattern of conversation.

Granny took a sip of her drink and met his eyes. “You’re a bit behind the times.”

“How so?” Hook questioned, leaning closer to the old woman, a frown on his face at Granny’s implication.

“The Dark One you chase is no longer the host of the Darkness. The host has changed,” Granny said bluntly, a strange look crossing her face.

Hook blinked as Granny fell silent, sipping her rum to allow him time to process her words. He didn’t move as he tasted the information on his lips, a horrible sensation of dread and despair filling him. His immediate instinct was to deny that it was possible, but he knew deep down that the woman’s look of despair and grief couldn’t be anything but real.

“Who is it now?” he asked, studying her face carefully, hoping to pick up on some nuance in her communication. He didn’t know what he was looking for exactly, but he felt disappointment all the same when he realize how upset she was.

Granny poured herself a bit more rum into the half-full glass and knocked back the entire thing in one swallow. Hook watched her dispassionately. She grimaced out of grief, and Hook realized this topic was a festering wound though he didn’t know why.

“I don’t know,” Granny denied, and Hook got the sense that she did indeed know but didn’t want to admit it.

Hook clenched his fist and narrowed his eyes. He felt a rage that he hadn’t felt since Rumplestiltskin had taken his hand and his love from him. All these years of seeking revenge, and for what? What was he left with now? He snarled at the thought of the Crocodile evading his hook another time.

Granny cleared her throat as she choked back tears, calling his attention back to her before he could fall any more into his anger. Her wet eyes shocked him out of his rage long enough to restore sense to his head. “You want any more than that, you’re out of luck. I know nothing else.”

Granny poured herself another shot and knocked it back. Once she had finished, she stood and moved down to another end of the bar without another word. Hook contemplated the bottle before deciding that today’s news had been bad enough. He poured himself a healthy measure and drained the glass. He glanced over to Smee and beckoned his head. Smee scrambled to his side, and when Smee was within earshot, he said, “Tomorrow we travel to the Dark One’s castle.”

Smee blinked before widening his eyes in fear. “To the Dark One’s castle?”

“Aye,” Hook responded. “There will be information there that we need.”

“But won’t he-“ Smee began but Hook cut him off.

“Apparently someone else got to the Crocodile before us. I want to know who and why.” Hook’s eyes hardened in resolve, and Smee gulped before nodding his head. “My best chance at getting answers is there.”

As Smee scrambled off back to the crew to pass the news around, Hook drank another healthy measure of rum, resigned to the situation at hand. This was merely a minor setback in his quest for revenge. He’d waited this long; he could bide his time a little longer.

The next morning dawned bright and cheerful, completely at odds with Hook’s mood. Hook had already left instructions to the next man in charge for getting supplies in his stead. He and Smee arranged for a couple of horses for the journey inland, and they made sure to have the necessary supplies for their journey.

The journey itself to the Dark One’s castle was mostly uneventful. Hook and Smee endeavored to find out all they could about the Dark One’s whereabouts, but no one wanted to talk. Either they didn’t know or they avoided the conversation once questions were asked and quickly hurried off on their way. Hook was quickly becoming vexed with the situation. He needed answers now.

“Don’t worry, Captain,” Smee attempted to reassure him after their latest fruitless encounter in a village just south of the Southern Kingdom’s borders. “We’ll find out more at the next inn.”

Hook just sighed in response. It would do no good taking his ire out on Smee. Not when the man was trying to help. Hook just nudged his horse forward into a trot.

“We can find out all we need once we reach the Dark One’s castle. Come and let us stop wasting time,” Hook replied.

Smee said nothing in response. Hook supposed it was because Smee could see just how fine the leash was on his temper. The two rode on in silence, crossing into the Moors kingdom just before nightfall. They stopped at an inn for the night, keeping their ears fruitlessly peeled for any hint of gossip. None could be heard that bore any importance for their quest.

The next morning’s travels brought about similar results. They crossed the small leg of the East Mountains and into Capetia at around noon. They stopped briefly at a tavern for food before moving on. The ride was boring, and Hook’s mind wandered as the horse trudged onward.

Just who had managed to get the best of the Crocodile? How had that happened? Would there even be anything of value at Rumplestiltskin’s old castle? Was all of this just Hook grasping at straws, unwilling to let a past wrong go, even after the culprit was long gone?

Hook didn’t think so, but he had been wrong before. He decided that the only way he was going to get answers was by raiding Rumplestiltskin’s castle. He could decide on the next course to set once he saw the state of things there.

They reached the edge of the Dark Forest that evening. He and Smee lit a fire for safety and camped under the stars. Neither spoke very much, for Hook was too deep in thought and Smee knew better than to push his Captain when the man was pensive like this. The night passed by uneventfully, and the next morning dawned bright.

A hard ride resulted in their arriving at the perimeter of the Dark One’s lands just after noon. They pulled their horses up short as they surveyed the imposing structure in the distance.

“So that’s the Dark One’s castle,” Smee muttered. “Do you think maybe he was compensating for something?”

Hook sniggered. “Most assuredly. We need to be cautious. If the rumors are false, and he is still alive, he won’t take kindly to seeing either of us.”

Smee nodded vigorously and they dismounted their horses. They tied the mounts off, leaving them plenty of slack to graze, and they slunk off in the direction of danger. They crept along in the surrounding woods, keeping their eyes peeled and their ears alert.

The woods were silent. It was eerie how no animals rustled in the undergrowth, how no birds tweeted in the trees above them. The closer they got to the castle, the quieter it got. Hook felt dizzy with how much he kept looking around them, just waiting for an ambush.

Finally they got close enough that the front doors were just in front of them. The castle had a derelict, abandoned feel. No smoke rose from the myriad chimneys; no movement could be detected behind the windows. The facade was covered in overrun ivies and weeds littered the overgrown lawn.

“Well, Captain, there might just be some truth to the rumors after all.”

Hook glanced at Smee. “It seems safe enough so far, but keep on your guard.”

Hook and Smee each grasped a door handle of the giant wooden doors and pulled with all their might, not noticing the wave of blue light that swept the yard as they did so. Slowly, creaking in protest the entire time, the doors gave away. Hook was just about to step inside the foyer when a fireball came soaring at them. Hook and Smee dove for the ground, managing to just narrowly avoid it. They watched as it flew into a tree and caught it on fire. The flames whooshed as it engulfed the large tree and devoured it until nothing but ash remained. They stared at it before looking at each other.

“Let’s hope that’s the only thing waiting for us,” Hook said. Smee chuckled nervously and they both scrambled up into standing positions. They glanced at the opening, but nothing else seemed to be waiting.

“Shall we try this again, sir,” Smee asked uncertainly.

Hook nodded once. “Without the fireballs, preferably.”

They crept through the arched doorway, sticking to the sides, but nothing else happened. The foyer beyond was dark and cold. It gave off a chilling air of abandonment. Hook and Smee exchanged looks.

“Shall we split up sir? Cover more ground that way,” Smee offered as he shrugged.

Hook considered his first mate for a moment, eyebrow tilting up a bit. On the one hand, splitting up could be a trap, but on the other, they waste valuable time searching together.

Hook nodded once. “Yell if you find anything.”

“Aye, aye,” replied Smee before heading to the rooms on the left. Hook decided to go up the grand staircase that lay in waiting just in front of him.

He walked up the steps one at a time, slowly prowling forward, always expecting another type of security measure. Nothing happened.

The lack of reaction set him on edge even more than he had been before entering the abandoned building. He expected Rumplestiltskin’s slimy high pitched giggle to sound behind him at any moment. As the minutes dragged on, he became even more unnerved at the lack of the coward’s appearance.

He stepped onto the next floor and looked around him. The second floor had the same derelict feel as the downstairs. There was no sign of anyone’s inhabitance. He crept forward, resting his palm in the jolt of his sword, keeping his hook at the ready. The first room he came to was some sort of guest room, but for whom, Hook couldn’t begin to say. He didn’t believe the Crocodile had many guests. The imp hadn’t been known for his hospitality, after all. He searched the room, but nothing was there besides tacky furniture and dusty bedclothes. Hook left the room as quickly as he entered it.

The silence in this place was eerie. It set his teeth on edge, and he clenched his jaw out of tension. He crept down the hallway, forgoing searching other countless bedchambers. The stench of Dark magic hung in the air, cloying and sickening. The further down the hall he traveled, the more palpable the magic became.

He went up another staircase, choosing to follow the feeling of the magic instead of investigating every room. Hook figured the odds of finding something were better if he traced the magic. He hadn’t felt this kind of sensation, this tingling numbness, since the Crocodile had been on the deck of his ship, changing Hook’s life forever.

He followed the tingle of the magic until he arrived in front of what appeared to be a private study. He opened the double doors and walked into a large room. A giant table occupied the center of the room, and display cases that had once held whatever objects Rumplestiltskin deemed important surrounded the table. The room had been decorated in rich shades of red and gold, but now a thick layer of dust covered everything.

The room looked as if it had been ransacked by looters at some undetermined point. Hook breathed a heavy sigh. This beyond anything else convinced him that the Crocodile was gone. Looters wouldn’t have been able to mauraud this castle if Rumplestiltskin had still been alive. Hook felt a dull sensation curdle in his stomach that he belatedly recognized was disappointment.

Discouraged, he wandered into the room, no less on his guard than before, but no longer expecting his mortal enemy to appear before him sniggering with twisted glee. He rummaged through the detritus, looking for something but not knowing what it was. After shuffling a few plates around, he saw a brown piece of fabric, dirtied with age and a few dried blood stains. He frowned and picked it up, his heart sinking even lower in his chest.

He knew those stitches.

He stood and shook the fabric out, using his hook to help fan it out to make sure that it was what he thought it was. He smiled a grim smile at the confirmation. It was a shawl. He recognized the handiwork as Milah’s, and he suddenly felt like crying. It must have belonged to Bae.

He swallowed and cleared his throat, hoping to drown the burning sensation, and rapidly tried to blink tears away. He folded it as carefully as he could, caressing the fabric as he did so. He took a step towards the door, intending to leave this room and all its ghosts behind, when he stepped on something that slid as he put his weight down.

Catching himself from falling, he looked at his feet and saw a cane. He moved his shoe off the wood and bent down to pick it up, recognizing it to be that old cane the Crocodile had once used to walk when the coward boarded his ship for the first time. He held it against the shawl that was also in his hand for a moment, considering all the possibilities that could have happened and didn’t, all the ways fate could have worked out differently for him.

Frustrated, he threw the cane away from him and turned to walk out. As he threw it, a shimmering came from the far corner of the room, catching his attention. The shimmering revealed a cabinet that extended from floor to ceiling. He stared in disbelief at it before his heart started racing. This was what he had been looking for!

He hurried to it and wrenched the doors open, seeing all kinds of magical items and whatnots. Books were stacked high in all areas, potion ingredients were stored three lines deep in bottles, with some already being completed. Magical objects filled the empty areas, and wands were held in stands. The magical items weren’t necessarily what he needed, but the books… the books might just be the missing link.

Hook tore through the books stacked high inside the cabinet, desperately searching for something that would help him piece together what had happened. He quickly discarded the ones that looked as if they were magical instruction books, having no interest in their contents. No, he was looking for something more personal.

Seeing nothing in the stack that could help him, he turned to the table, searching for any hidden compartments. Finding two, he tore open the drawers, the contents rattling as he jerked the drawers out, quills and empty ink bottles and other rubbish littering their insides. There was nothing that could even hint at the circumstances that finally resulted in the demon's demise.

He searched in this manner until he had combed through the entire room. If there had ever been any records, they had long since been hidden or destroyed. The fruitlessness of the search just made Hook more determined.

There had to be another room he had overlooked in this overgrown hunk of an imitation castle. Moving decisively towards the door, his hook got caught in a hole in a shelf of the cabinet in his haste. Hook yanked his hook out of the hole it had gotten lodged in, and the shelf came crashing, the contents falling to the floor in a great crash. Hook just managed to jump out of the way in time.

Hook scanned the rubbish, finding it absolutely ridiculous that Rumplestiltskin had never bothered to secure the blasted thing when it had borne all that weight when something caught his eye.

He scanned the back of the cabinet again, his brow furrowing in concentration. There! A glimmer!! He tilted his head this way and that as he tried to determine from where the glimmer had come. He noticed a notch from in between the wooden panels that covered the back of the shelf.

He put his hook into the notch, which was just big enough for the tip of his hook to lodge into, and pulled. The back panel was stubborn and didn’t come off. He sighed and maneuvered his hook deeper into the hole to provide himself with a bit more leverage. He wrapped his hand around his brace and pulled again, this time with all his strength.

The back panel came loose with a loud screech. It had detached just enough so he could see a small book inside. The cabinet must have had a false backing that only the crocodile would know about.

“Clever,” Hook muttered to himself as he reached in and clasped the book in his hand. Once he had pulled it out, he wiggled his hook out of the hole and set out to peruse the book. It had to contain something of importance if the Crocodile had gone to great lengths to keep it hidden.

He opened the book as he sank into a nearby chair that hadn’t toppled over in his haste to further ransack the room. Hook was pleased to find that it was a handwritten journal. He flipped through the pages slowly, finding a lot of drivel about magical experiments that didn’t interest Hook. Most of it was useless, but almost at the end of the journal, the writing changed. It was spiky, with very slanted words (a far different type of handwriting from Rumplestiltskin's scrawled handwriting).

The script made the document hard to read, so Hook skimmed the pages looking for any clues as to what had happened to the Crocodile (and most importantly, whom had killed him). He flipped through page after page, almost falling into a trance as he skimmed over the entry. Just when he thought the journal had nothing of importance, his eyes caught upon a very familiar name.

Milah.

Hook’s heart skipped a beat. He read the sentence that contained her name but found it didn’t make sense in the context, so he backtracked until he fell upon a section that seemed to detail why her name was on the page.

As he read the entry, his blood began to boil.

It had been easy enough to convince Rumplestiltskin that the only way to satisfy his broken heart upon learning his once beloved wife had fallen in love with someone else was to rip out her heart and crush it. With this, I believe that Rumplestiltskin’s last dregs of humanity have been thoroughly eradicated. I have been successful in imprinting myself irrevocably within his soul. With his black heart now thoroughly darkened, he will have no hope of the use of Light Magic against me, that cursed abomination of a magical force.

I had thought seeing him abandon and break a deal with his son was the ultimate test of his loyalty to me, but his murder of Milah showed me the depths of depravity he is willing to sink to. It will be so much easier to twist and bend Rumplestiltskin’s actions to my will. It was amusing to see how little he resisted the urge once I placed the thought in his head to kill her. He almost seemed to welcome it.

I think the coward enjoyed the thrill of the power I wield over life. He will be much more pliant to fulfilling my desires, I think. After all, he will not want to give up the control over the magic I have given him easily. This just serves as further proof that humanity is corruptible and unworthy of the gifts they have been bestowed. They will all bow to me before it is over. I must make my own plans for that day. This vessel will not be able to support me for very long, and the time will eventually come to find another host.

Hook continued to read, but the rest of the passage detailed how it felt to crush a heart and the magic that had to go into the action. He felt sick the more he tried to read, and he closed the book in disgust. His heart lay in jagged pieces at his feet at the information he had sought and obtained.

Rumplestiltskin had merely been a pawn in Milah’s death. Oh, Hook didn’t doubt that Rumplestiltskin desired her death; by the end, the man had looked upon his estranged wife with hatred in his eyes. But to learn that Hook’s love had been killed because some demon had wanted it done to prove a point? That was like rubbing salt in an already festering and infected wound.

Hook grit his teeth. He snatched the journal up and tucked it into one of the hidden pockets in his leather duster. His revenge was still possible. All he had to do was find the demon that killed her and find a way to end its existence.

He threw open the door, hollering for Smee. His first mate came running.

“Tell me you’ve found something of value in this place,” Hook commanded.

Smee held up a dreamcatcher. “I found this. I think it could tell us who the next Dark One is!”

“What is it?” Hook asked, puzzled as to how such an object would be able to tell them anything.

“I don’t know what it’s called, but when I held it, I could see something. I think it might hold memories.” Smee held it out to his captain.

Hook took it in his hand, and once he touched it, images started to play out amongst the strings. It did look like memories. He watched as a pretty young girl, possibly mid to late twenties, approached the Dark One. Rumplestiltskin giggled, dismissing her, when she held out the dagger. He watched dispassionately as Rumple froze in disbelief. He watched the woman say something and then plunge the knife into Rumplestiltskin’s chest. He watched as oily tendrils of darkness began to ooze out of Rumpelstiltskin, making their way up the woman’s arms until it coated her in the substance. She disappeared, the knife disappearing along with her. Rumplestiltskin fell to the ground of his castle, obviously dead.

“Where did she disappear to?” Hook asked once the memories went black and the images reverted back to the strings once more.

“I don’t know, Captain. But I found this with it,” Smee said as he held up a giant black feather.

Hook took it, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Perhaps we can use this to find out.”

He turned and made his way back into the study where he had found the stash of potions. He went to the box and scanned its contents, pulling out a bottle once he had found what he was looking for. He uncorked it, Smee looking on, and poured its contents over the feather.

“Is that a locator spell?” Smee asked.

“I think so. It’s some kind of potion for it, at any rate.” He watched as the feather floated in the air before darting towards a ragged map of the Enchanted Forest that hung on the wall. It gouged itself into the map, and Hook and Smee hurried across the room to see where it was pointing.

“The North Mountains?” Smee read aloud.

“Aye,” Hook agreed. “That is our next destination. We must return to the ship at once.”

Smee nodded, and after a brief moment to figure out the exact location on the map the feather pointed to, the two men left the Dark One’s castle, never to step foot inside again.

After several days’ journey of riding hard and resting only when needed, Hook and Smee arrived back in the port town they had left the Jolly Roger moored at. After a quick replenishment of supplies, she set sail once more, this time to a village called Sapphire Springs in the Northern Kingdom.

Hartford was a quaint little village that had little to offer pirate crews, so Hook and his band rarely made port there. It was out of the way of the major shipping lanes, as it was the most remote village of the Northern Kingdom. Hook preferred doing most of his business at Glowerhaven and other larger ports where it was easier to blend in with the locals and visitors, but he had been to Sapphire Springs enough to know the lay of the land.

Hook and his crew sailed hard, avoiding most traffic in the shipping lanes. They stumbled upon a ship from Agrabah, and Hook gave the order to take it. He knew his crew would appreciate the opportunity to acquire jewels and riches when they hadn’t yet been able to take any ships since their permanent arrival back in the Enchanted Forest. The crew of the merchant ship were very amenable to surrender, and after a couple of hours, the Jolly Roger rode deeper in the water, her hull full of spices and jewels and Agrabahn wine. Hook allowed them to open a barrel, and the evening was spent toasting their success.

They made a quick stop at a port in Sherwood Forest to sell off the jewels and spices. Smee divided the spoils to the rest of the crew after selling off their wares. The crew didn’t dally long; Hook was in too much of a hurry to make it to the North Mountains to spend much time in port.

After selling off this particular haul, they set sail once more, making a beeline straight for Sappire Springs. Hook stood back, letting his crew do the sailing and navigating as they had been for centuries. He kept his eyes trained on the horizon as he came ever closer to fulfilling his destiny and achieving his happy ending (however miserable an end it may be). If he had any doubts about the dangers that lay before him, he didn’t express it.

Hook continued his vigilance until the sky turned to dusk and the night crew took over. He looked out over the water at the waves, felt the breeze on his face, and heaved a sigh. He turned and slid open the hatch to his cabin and descended the ladder, not noticing the giant black swan that swooped down from the clouds and glided over the ship for a brief moment before ascending once more into the clouds.

[blackbloodteeth]

@redphlox Thanks for tagging me in the tag game! Since I've done that particular one recently, I thought I might as well just write a little something, so hope no one minds haha

———

The Blind Calligrapher

The soft, silken strands brush and smooth between his fingertips, its edge just as sharp as ever when it faintly pricks into his longest finger. Ink is his blood, and parchment his skin, and so his veins beat life into his work once more.

Each stroke scratches against the paper, like fine music to his ears. The outer thumb holding it all steady slowly tracks each measure while his artist's hand flows through every note, pulled along by strings that strum and play through him, composing and conducting yet another swan song. A long one at that, but he kept no mind today.

Warmth thrummed satisfactorily in his fingers, to his wrist, when he'd finally reached the grand conclusion. The parchment's texture almost scrapes against his nails when his other hand feels along the outer side, a breath, a sigh, contentment signalling that this performance is over. The ink now must dry – he even conveys so – but he carefully lifts his work across the table and bestows what he has transcribed.

"Oh thank you," the living person seated at the other end eventually says. Telltale shudders tell him the tears are joyful. "Thank you."

A smile brings his voice back soft and soothing, and his fingers left interlocked under the faint impression of a hand on his shoulder. "Your auntie is at peace now."

They paid him more than he had asked for afterwards. He felt it no matter how much he counted, and eventually conceded, setting the affair aside for later, albeit grateful. That smile had lingered on his face regardless of how it still deepens his brow every time it occurs.

His hand glides over the assortment of teas he keeps lined up on their own distinct shelf, the hums of the room around him growing restless with each passing selection. No, no, the peppermint! Oh no, don't you start that again – it stank up the whole house last time! Ooh green tea, I love the smell of green tea!

A voice, much more discerning and somber with wisdom, hushed the other whispers in its final say.

Chamomile. Something is bound to happen today.

He gives an approving nod and plucks today's choice before tucking the rest back into their tidy places. The cracks of his favourite cup roughs beneath his thumbs while the kettle's steam continues to simmer – Not chipped enough to leak through, but enough for character and letting him wallow in these moments to himself. It reminds him a lot of his dear nana.

By the kettle's call and the pouring aroma beginning to brew through the room, something else has the hums excited again, eager – Another visitor?

And true to their word, a few hasty knocks leads him to wander over to his door and the breathless swallow of a stranger standing in the light pattering of rain. Quickly, of course, he invites them in, soon a woman's voice offered a seat and flustering – She sounds in a hurry. Younger than him.

"Please… I've heard of what you do, and I… I need to talk to my mother."

He hums solemnly, though she continues. "She's not… She's still alive, but I need to find her."

The freshly hot cup of tea pauses on its way to the table as his face bunches up again. "Not dead?"

"No, sir, but my father will be at this rate. She's been gone and no one's seen her for months, and I… need to talk to her."

Clinks finally rest upon the surface of the table, yet he remains waiting, fingers tapping idly against the old wood. "I'm not sure there's much I'm able to do if she's still among the living…"

"...Please…"

This poor girl looks so lost, the whispers start again. Oh help her, dear boy. Help her.

A light sigh runs his thumb along the grain before moving him back into his chair, hopeful murmurs guiding his hand back to his pen and paper. "…I'll do what I can."

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

Athelas Drabble Challenge - Storm

Pairing: Fëanor x Maedhros 

Themes: Angst

Warnings: Mentions of storms, ships sinking, drownings

Wordcount: 300 words

Summary: After taking the swan ships for himself and those that follow him, Fëanor and the rest find themselves caught in a storm.

Rules and tag form here.  

The waves were unlike anything he had ever seen before. They rose higher and higher, swallowing entire ships whole, pulling them and the elves that crewed them to the darkness beneath the roiling sea. All that was left were bits of splintered wood floating in the water. The storm dogged them every inch of the way, its fury unrelenting and unforgiving. Ossë loved the Teleri, and his rage was a terrible thing to behold.

Another ship listed and sank to the murky depths. And another. And another. Fëanor could do nothing but hold on for dear life and watch helplessly as ship after ship yielded to the powers of one greater than he.

Lighting split the inky black sky like a lance. The wind howled and hammered at the remaining ships, threatening to drag them all under. Someone cried out for orders. Perhaps it was one of his sons. Fëanor could not tell anyone apart amidst the chaos. He kept listening, hoping and praying Uinen would sing and soothe her husband's rage.

It never happened. There were no haunting melodies, no otherworldly song to temper the storm. They were alone, and no one was coming to their aid.

Someone cried out again. Maedhros this time, Fëanor was certain of it.

"Orders, father!" Maedhros fought his way to his father. "We need orders!"

Fëanor did not know what to say. He looked into the eyes of the others and found words failing him.  Maedhros grabbed him by the collar and shook him, his eyes bright with fear. "Say something, father!"

Another cry greeted them. "The sky is clearing! Look!"

The skies were indeed clearing, but the news gave him no cheer. Dread soon coiled within Fëanor's belly like a snake. Their trials were not over.  This storm was just the beginning.

[madphantom]

Swan Song - Chapter 1

"So shall the world go on,

To good malignant, to bad men benign,

Under her own weight groaning."

— Paradise Lost

Alan was thirteen and he wasn't popular.

He didn't know why. He wasn't sure. Maybe because he was just not like the others. He couldn't help it. He loved classics. Poems, novellas, music, paintings, he devoured them all. Alan was a lover of the art.

He just wished he could share it with anyone.

It was a rainy day. The weeping willows were swaying in the wind. Alan was sitting on a bench in Swan Lake Park, reading, a massive umbrella over his head and book.

Suddenly he heard voices. He groaned and looked up from his book. It was the local gang of popular kids.

This is so cliche, Alan thought.

The leader, Arnold noticed him. Of course.

"Oh, look who it is!" He laughed. "It's the gremlin again!" Mary and Carlyla laughed. Herb smirked.

"Please leave me alone!", Alan stuttered.

"Oh, leave you alone?" Arnold smirked. "Did you hear that, guys?" The gang laughed.

"What's that you've got?" Arnold ripped the book from Alan's hands and looked at it. Then he laughed.

"Boy, he's reading Goethe! What a nerd! How about we make him prove he's a man." Arnold grinned.

"Leave him the fuck alone!"

They all collectively looked up at the sound of a rough girl's voice from above. Alan was the first to spot it's source.

It was a girl sitting on the willow behind the bench, far above. He hadn't noticed her before. He could only see her sillhouette against the grey sky, but he could see that she was tall and slim and that her hair was long and tangled. Her outline looked pretty. He wished he could take a closer look at her.

Mary grinned. "Oooh. It's the ugly tree girl. Hey, Betty Lou, what are you reading up there?"

"Paradise Lost," she replied with a bored tone in her husky voice.

"Oh no, another nerd," Carlyla groaned.

"Another nerd." Arnold nodded. "What are you gonna do, Scarecrow? Jump on my head."

"I wouldn't count on me not doing that." Alan could practically hear her smirking.

"Oh, really?" Arnold pushed Alan aside and walked over to the tree. "Well, go ahead."

The girl gracefully slid off her branch and it looked like she would jump. Arnold took a step to the right, a smug smirk on his face. But in the last moment she caught herself. And then, with a satisfying jump she slammed her heels right into Arnold's face.

"Fuck you, Philbin!", she hissed, her long brown hair all over her face.

Then she looked at Alan.

He was taken aback. She wasn't pretty. Not at all. She was ugly. Her face was covered in pimples. Her eyebrows were thick. She was scruffy, she was grumpy, she was anything except beautiful.

And yet there was something in her eyes which captured Alan. Some kind of fire was burning in them. He shivered.

Arnold sneered and left. The gang followed.

"Thank you," Alan said to the girl. She shrugged her shoulders.

He took one last look at her and left.

***

"You good?"

He looked up. It was Betty Lou.

"Yes."

She sat down next to him. Alan slid his umbrella over so she'd be dry too and she grinned.

"They can go to hell, you know," she said.

"Yeah." He sighed.

"So...classics, huh?", Betty Lou asked after a while.

"Ya," Alan murmured.

"That's rad."

He glanced over to her. She gave him a shy smile. "I love classics. Faust. Les Miserables. The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Phantom of the Opera. Paradise Lost. Frankenstein. Dracula. I read them all."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I love Fantine." She leaned back. "You?"

"More of a Jean Valjean person."

She smiled. "He's cool too, but have you seen Enjolras?"

"What about Grantaire?"

She laughed. "Oh, of course, I forgot about him!"

For a while they sat in pleasant silence. Nothing but the rain was audible.

"I just don't understand why Arnold and his friends would make fun of that," Alan quietly said.

"People who matter don't mind." She shrugged her shoulders. "They just look for some way to screw us up. They're just looking for losers like you and me."

Alan glanced at her. "You say that like you know the feeling."

She frowned. "Sure I do. Who doesn't?" Then her forehead smoothened again.

"You haven't told me your name yet."

"I'm Alan."

"Fancy." She smiled at him. "Hey, Alan are we meeting again tomorrow? Here?"

"Why not?"

"Great." She grinned. "See you."

With that she jumped up and disappeared in the park.

[songbirdsingingthings]

Birds of a Feather 》 2

❀ Back to Navigation ❀   ❀ Top Gun Masterlist ❀

Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x F!Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

WARNINGS: Enemies to Lovers, Angst, Cursing, Mentions of Anxiety/Panicking

Summary: After a more than unfortunate return to Miramar, it’s your first day back. Nerves and tensions are high as your new flight instructor is introduced and the first set of exercises are put into motion. Several sets of pushups later, your next trial wingman is none other than Rooster -- risky maneuvers are performed and the past is relived.

A/N: Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to Part 2! I have been blown away by the support that the first part of this series has received and I’m so happy so many people are enjoying it. I’m pretty happy with the way this part came out, so without further ado, please enjoy! :)

Word Count: 4.K

You woke up with your face smushed into your pillow, your alarm blaring at you to get up and get moving. Groaning, you felt around for the top of the clock, reluctant to fully say hello to the world just quite yet. However, reality had a different idea in mind because, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find that damn alarm. Huffing in frustration, you sat up, blowing strands of hair that fell in front of your face away, and located the clock. You eyed it for a moment, letting it continue its trill for only a second longer before slamming your hand down on the top. As much as you wanted to just forget about the whole day and hide under your covers for the rest of eternity, the pilot in you made yourself get up and get dressed. Your beige uniform was what hung in your wardrobe and you sighed as you took the hanger out and laid both the pants and shirt on your, now, neatly made bed. Your eyes glazed over the service ribbons, your gold wings, and the name tag spelling L/N neatly across it. Staring it down was doing nothing, you knew that, but you just needed a minute of silence and reflection. Your name was Y/N “Swan Song” L/N. You deserve to be here. You are the best there is and will not let anyone stand in your way.

It took mere seconds to wack on your uniform and put your hair into regulation. You shoved your feet into your shoes and closed the door to your dorm. Everything else you would need today was already in the locker rooms, so donning your sunglasses and trudging your way to the briefing room was all you could do. It was no surprise that everyone was already starting to gather – Coyote and Fanboy were making conversation as you marched in. A chorus of “Hey Swan” was heard bouncing back and forth along the group. You nodded towards each person and offered smiles in hello, until you found Rooster leaning against the wall beside you. Normally, you would’ve brought up a hand to give a quick wave or a happy greeting – instead, you made it a point to keep your eyes forward and walked breezily past him, not giving Bradshaw the time of day.

Finding your seat next to Phoenix was easy, since she was already sitting down with her F-18 manual in front of her.

“Hey Phoenix!” You all but chirp, settling down next to her with a gleam in your eyes. Natasha eyes you warily.

“You sound… chipper.” She remarks.

“Course I am,” you comment quickly, cracking your knuckles and bouncing one of your knees. Phoenix smirks a bit.

“You’re nervous as hell, just like I am.”

“Am not.”

“Are too. You’re fidgeting all over the place, it’s your tell.” You sigh and will yourself to stop moving.

“Yeah?” You say, “So what's yours?” Laughing a bit, Phoenix shook her head.

“You’ll never know Swan, it’s my own top secret.” You rolled your eyes and smiled, now moving your gaze towards the clock. The hands were ticking dangerously close to start time, made all the more clear as everyone started taking their seats. You and Phoenix were in the first row, Hangman sitting at the table next to yours. Behind him, Fanboy and Payback, and behind you and Phoenix… Rooster and Coyote. You could almost feel Rooster’s eyes burn holes into the back of your head, but no matter what, you would not turn around. It took only a couple of minutes until your supervisors, the Vice Admiral and Rear Admiral, walked in. They were quick on debriefing the lot of you with the general makeup of the mission, but left the rest to your instructor. 

Measured steps made their way up to the front, settling his materials on the tall desk before flashing your group a dazzling smile.

“Good morning aviators, this is your captain speaking.” Immediately, any whispers of a conversation vanished. Standing before you was the, with all due respect, legendary Captain Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. You lightly nudged Phoenix’s foot to convey your surprise and she returned the gesture – clearly, everyone was stunned that they brought in such an infamous flier. “I trust everyone here has read the manual before?” Maverick suggests, motioning towards an F-18 manual – identical to the manual in front of everyone in the room. Nods and a few murmurs of “yes” echoed throughout the hanger. “Good. Forget it.” With a deafening thud, Mav throws the handbook into the waste bin next to the desk. This time, you gave Phoenix a look which she matches. You weren’t sure of all the details of the mission, but you knew one thing. This assignment was going to be something that had never been seen before.

After Mav goes over the details of the mission, most notably the flydate that was in a mere month, he had you paired up and flying. You had already flown twice and were unfortunately subjected to two rounds of 200 pushups. Phoenix was with her new WSO, Bob, and was now sent up with Hangman. You made yourself busy getting to know your new WSO, Fanboy, a bit better.

“So, uh, what’s this thing you got with Rooster?” He asks, very clearly hesitating throughout the question. You sported somewhat of a sarcastic smile.

“Just a bit of history, all in the past.” You brush off, leaning back in your chair as you turn the knob on the receiver. Phoenix, Bob, and Hangman’s voice crackled to life as they tried their hand at a dogfight with Maverick. Unfortunately, it didn’t sound like it was going particularly well.

“Really, cause uh… he sounded really pissed at the bar.”

“Oh, you know. Things happen and people get blamed.” You murmur, focusing more now on the events happening in the sky than your past that you had no intention of reliving. Before you knew it, though, your name was getting called.

“Swan Song and Fanboy – you’re up.” Fanboy stands up and offers you his hand, which you gladly take. “Wingman,” Warlock says, “Rooster.” Your stance hardens and Fanboy glances at you with an uneasy expression. Before Rooster could get a word in, you clear your throat.

“C’mon Fanboy,” you say, striding out of the room, “I don’t wanna do anymore push-ups.”

Flying for you was as easy as breathing. Navigating through the air was like cutting butter and spreading it on a warm piece of bread, every motion and maneuver was easy and almost thoughtless as you sped through the skies. You could’ve taken this flight just as easy as all the ones in the past, doing maybe a couple of spins and having some fun before you really got into the meat of things. But during this flight, your wingman was Rooster, so that meant all bets were off. Silence was what settled upon your transmission feed, and as much as you would have rather not communicated with Bradshaw at the moment, the urge to win this dogfight prevailed.

“Rooster, do you see him anywhere?” You say into your coms, checking all of your angles.

“Negative, Swan Song.” Your heart, even though you tried to push it down, skipped a beat at his voice. You knew he was just trying to be professional, but it was the first time in such a while that he spoke to you with no negative connotation, and damn did it just hit you like a punch in the gut.

“Fanboy,” you begin to say, “what about you–” suddenly, a force sends your jet spinning, and you scramble for the controls.

“Afternoon aviators!” You hear Maverick’s voice loud and clear through the intercoms as he flies straight by you, maneuvering his jet with such mastery it leaves you in shock for a moment.

“Alright, eyes on Maverick,” you state, gripping the yoke and engaging in combat.

No matter how many times you flipped, turned, and spinned, you still couldn’t manage to get the shot. You were frustrated to no end, but your focus and drive held steady.

“We almost got him, almost got him,” Fanboy says, directing you and trying to line up the shot. “Just a few more seconds!”

“Swan Song, fade right!” Rooster’s voice shoots through the coms.

“What?! We’ve almost got the shot, just five more seconds.”

“I said fade right, I’ve got this!” Reluctantly, you’re left with no other option than to do what he says.

“Ugh, fine!” You fade right immediately, and the second you do, you hear Mav’s faithful words.

“Annnd, Swan Song’s dead.” Your instructor says, making you huff in frustration. “Return to base, we’ll see you there.”

If one were to guess how your day was going, they would probably have said a dumpster fire in the middle of an inferno. To put it simply, you were pissed. You and Fanboy made your way back into the room with the radio comms, white-knuckling your helmet all the way there. You expected a look of pity from a few and a snide, teasing remark from Hangman, but when you and Fanboy walked in, all you could see was your whole group crowded around the radio.

“Guys, what’s going on?” You murmur, finding a seat and pulling up next to everyone. You were in the air maybe five minutes ago, and just the sight of your peers stone-faced and quiet had a chill running down your spine.

“They’re in a downward corkscrew headed straight towards the hard deck,” Bob breathed out, not budging from his spot. “Maverick and Rooster.” You can’t help it - a gasp bubbles up and leaves your throat. Of course you were upset with Rooster, anyone in your position would be crazy not to be. But right now? All you wanted was for him to be safe and sound on the ground and yelling at you. You would take him yelling and screaming at you, making you cry rather than for this to have happened.

“Come on Rooster, pull up. Pull up, pull up, pull up.” Similar, quiet chants reverberated throughout the room until finally, with the smallest margin of time to spare, Rooster pulled up and ended the whole thing. The room visibly, and collectively, breathed out a sigh of relief. However, where your group mates were fine to go on for the rest of their day, you felt like a deflated balloon – all of the air sucked out of you. One by one, everyone files out of the room – leaving you all bust collapsed in your chair. Finally, the door is shut and you’re all alone. 

In through the nose and out through your mouth. You see a chair, the radio, the water bottle that someone left, your helmet, and the radiator. In through the nose and out through the mouth. And suddenly, you’re breaking down. Tears are in your eyes, snot is filling your nose, and you’re heaving breaths too quickly. Rooster was going to die if he pulled up any later. He was going to die, and the last thing you would have done was yelled at and ignored him. This wasn’t you, why were you so mad? Why was he so mad? You know animals lash out when they're hurt, you had seen it with your own eyes when you took your cat Olive to the vet. She had scratched and bitten you, and when everything was all okay, she nuzzled right up to you. Rooster was hurting so deeply, so strongly that the only thing he could do around you was bite and scratch. In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the–

“Swan Song?” You snap your head up to locate the speaker and find Rooster, his helmet in one hand and his pack in the other, a shocked and slightly scared look on his face. “Are you–”

“Where do you get off pulling a stunt like that?!” You exclaim, your voice low. “Plummeting towards your death in a downward corkscrew?” You’re on your feet now, marching towards him. You see his expression change several times in an instant. Worry, fear, anger, acceptance, and then indifference.

“You know why that happened,”

“Because he pulled your papers,” you heave again, not even bothering wiping the tears from your cheeks. “Rooster, I know, I understand why you’re pissed. But, dammit, you could’ve died because of your stupid, misdirected, thoughtless ego!” You say, enunciating each word by shoving your helmet into his chest.

“Thoughtless, huh?” He says, his mouth pressed in a thin line, “was that what happened when we were up in the air?”

It was finally the day of your last assessment, the day that you completed your exit exam and graduated from Top Gun. Nerves were bouncing, as was one of your knees, as you sat at the long tables for breakfast.

“C’mon Swan, you’ve gotta eat! Can’t have you passing out as you watch firsthand when I pass this exam with flying colors and finally get the Bradshaw name on the plaque.” Settling down next to you, Rooster slides close and settles his hand on your bouncing knee, making it almost impossible for it to jump again. You sport a wobbly smile and shake your head.

“I don’t think I can, I feel like every piece of food would just come right back up. And my breathing’s getting heavy and I can’t focus, so–”

“Alright, tell me five things you see. Doesn’t matter what it is, just tell me five things.” You’re not in the headspace to question him, so you just go for it.

“The banana on the table over there, my sunglasses, the chair, the one blue tile on the ground, and you.” Bradley smiles that signature, dashing smile and nods.

“Nicely done, L/N. Now, in and out with me. In through the nose, out through the mouth.” Together, the two of you breathe and just look into each other's eyes. He’s smiling at you, and now all you can think about is him. You forget the exam and the thought of going up in a jet, and instead focus on Bradley. His melted chocolate eyes, the scarred over scratches on his cheeks, the shape of his eyebrows, his stupidly attractive mustache, and then his lips. “Feeling better there, Swan?” He murmurs softly.

“Much.” you breathe out and smile. He hands you a muffin dotted with chocolate chips, making your eyes grow wide. “Where on Earth–”

“Snuck it in this morning. Now, I gotta go because they need to do one final check with my gear. Do me a favor and enjoy that muffin, ‘kay? I’ll see you in the air.” He pats your knee and you swear, for a second you think he’s about to kiss you, but instead he stands and flashes you one last grin. “Birds of a feather!” He calls, giving you one last wave.

“Always,” you say. You take the muffin in small bites and manage to throw away the wrapper and sit back down. But your knee starts jumping again, and now you’re cracking your knuckles. Before you can worry too much, your name is called to start suiting up. So, up and off you go, ready to fly with your best friend in the whole world. The grin on your face is for Rooster and Rooster alone, and the thought of kissing those lips of his in congratulations when he’s announced as the top of your class.

The conditions in the air could not have been worse. Wind gusts kept knocking you off center and your hands were shaking as you tried to get into position to “fire” the “enemy” plane down.

“You’ve got it Swan Song, take the shot!” You hear the encouraging words of Bradley’s through your intercoms, but it’s doing incredibly little to comfort you.

“N-no, five… five more seconds, then I’ll be good.” You say back. trying your best to line up the shot.

“Swan, you’re gonna get caught, you have to take the shot now!” His voice rattled your already shaking body, making you completely freeze.

“I-I’m off! I’m off!” You yell, pulling your jet off of the course.

“Wait, what?! Swan!” What you didn’t account for was how close Rooster was behind you, focusing directly on the “enemy” plane. “I’m caught in jet wash, I’ve got a flame out! Engine one is out, engine two is out!” Rooster’s panicked voice echoes through your comms, causing you to watch in horror as his jet enters a deadly spiral.

“Oh, oh god,” you croak out.

“I’m losing control, I gotta eject!” You gasp in horror as the top of his plane flies off and Rooster’s parachute billows out, the rest of his jet crashing into the ground.

“ROOSTER, DO YOU COPY! BRADLEY!” You all but scream, tears freely flowing from your eyes. It wasn’t until your supervisor made you land your plane did you see him again, getting released from a quick check by the on staff med team. You shuddered as a sob broke out and sprinted to him, as fast as your uniform and pack would let you. “Bradley-” Where you expect to see maybe a wince of pain but a more or less happy expression, you're met with hardened eyes and an expression harboring nothing but fury.

“What the fuck was that?” He says, voice low and dripping of anger.

“I don’t know, I-” you start, but he interrupts.

“You don’t know? You don’t know?!” He jabs, reiterating what you said. “I could’ve died, you know that? Your jet wash sent me in that spin with no engine to fly my fucking jet.” You open your mouth and close it, trying to find the correct words. “You know, that’s exactly how my dad died?” He says, moving his face closer to yours. “Stuck in a jet wash with a faulty ejection.”

“Bradley, I–”

“Shut your fucking mouth. Oh, and congratulations are in order, aren’t they Swan Song?” He sneers. You shake your head, confused. “You’re top of the class. And by the way, I’m glad you're finally living up to your Call Sign. You were the last thing I heard before my career got set back another four years.” He shoved himself past you, leaving you heaving for air.

“Bradley, Bradley please I didn’t mean to I was–”

“You were what?!” He shouts right into your face, paralyzing your entire body. He scoffs at your lack of response and continues his stride towards base. “I never want to talk to you again. I never want to see you again. Do me a favor and pick the farthest assignment from me possible, ‘kay?” He shoots that one last snide remark before you’re left alone on the tarmac, a shell of the woman and pilot you once were. Alone as you felt your knees crumple to the ground. Utterly, completely, alone.

You shake your head as you feel the tears come upon you again.

“You have no clue what happened that day when we were up in the air.” Rooster rolled his eyes and that annoyed look reappeared on his visage.

“Yeah, well, you never did clear it up, did you?”

“You never let me finish what I said!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air and letting go of your helmet. The round thing rolled away, the navy blue, gold, and white accents shimmering as it settled on the ground. Rooster didn’t say anything more, so finally, you took the opportunity to explain. “I couldn’t breathe up there.” You say, trying your best to keep your voice measured. “I could barely grip the damn yoke because I was shaking and completely freaking out, and the only thing going on in my head was how bad I wanted you to be the one celebrating at the end of the day.” You can see the clarity begin to work its way through Bradley’s gaze, his lips parting and his features softening. “So I couldn’t take the shot, miss, and compromise your mission, so I peeled off. I didn’t,” you take a deep breath in and let it shudder out, “I had no idea that you were that close, I would’ve never…” you croaked, shaking your head and squeezing your eyes shut. You back up a few steps and manage to look up at him again. It struck you how much he looked like your Bradley again. His eyebrows weren’t knitted together so tightly and his jaw wasn’t clenched in frustration. He had that honeyed look in his gaze again.

“Y/N,” he whispers so quietly you can barely hear it. He steps towards you but you take another step back, your heel bumping into your helmet. You reach down quickly and snatch it up.

“But that doesn’t change what happened. So,” you sniffle, fixing yourself with a hardened gaze again, “whatever. Despise me all you want, Bradshaw, but never do what you did today again. I don’t care if you hate me or Maverick or whoever. No grudge is worth it.” You push past Rooster, your shoulders brushing against each other, before you’re down the hall and out of the building, craving the comfort of a shower and the escape that sleep would provide.

Bradley was still standing there in that comms room when a supervisor rapped on the door, telling him he needed to head out. He folded his helmet under the arm he held his pack in and walked slowly back to his dorm room. No matter how much he wanted to forget your presence and keep you as the reason he had, essentially, failed, he could still see you. Y/N L/N, the silly little girl he met at a naval gala when he was eight years old. His friend whom he texted when he could, ranting about how that girl Amber rejected the invitation to his senior prom and that he was now on his way to becoming the best naval pilot in the country. His first real love, singing Celine Dion and making the butterflies in his stomach go into a frenzy. He saw you, his sweet Swan Song, when you looked up at him with tears in your eyes and your hand grasping at your throat as you had trouble breathing.

Bradley wanted you to tell him five things. Wanted you to breathe in and out with him. Wanted to smile and laugh and hug you like he did four years ago. But your relationship was definitely not what it once was. He had done everything in his power to be nasty towards you, and you had now given up on the whole notion of friendship.

As he closes the door to his room and falls onto his bed, he pulls out his wallet. Tucked deep beneath random dollar bills and receipts was a picture folded ten times over. The two of you, your first day at Top Gun. It was all flight suits and helmets, smiles and sparkling eyes covered by Raybans. His arm was around your shoulder and you had thrown up a peace sign. Bradley smiled and let his head fall back onto his pillow, his gaze now turning towards the ceiling. One by one, he felt the tears welling and slowly slip down his cheeks. 

Rooster wanted to take it all back. To never have yelled at you or blamed you for an honest and unavoidable accident. He hated himself for what he subjected you to, and now, wanted nothing more than to apologize and get back to how you were before. For the time being, though, he did what he could control. Shucked his uniform, grabbed a shower, and slipped on a ratty old t-shirt and some boxers. Bradley let himself fall under the scratchy sheets and closed his eyes. Today was over, but tomorrow held plenty more challenges. NOE flying, PGM employment, and whether or not Y/N L/N would ever want to talk to him again.

Taglist:

✈ @n3ssm0nique​

✈ @swthxrry​

✈ @feireads​

✈ @itscheybaby​

✈ @wqnsho​

✈ @empress-writes​

✈ @jostyriggslover96​

✈ @buckyr00s

✈ @wastingthetimeaway

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Love Song for a Vampire Pt.6

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan, Jacob Black x Bella Swan

Warnings: none really

Words: 1454

Summary: You reunite with your pack and they have lots of questions.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4  Part 5   Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39  Part 40(series finale) 

Slipping out quietly from the Cullen house, you take a deep breath; filling your lungs with fresh early morning air. They probably knew you were leaving, but just in case you didn’t want to make any noise as you fled. It felt good to move your body. For hours you hadn’t been in control, stiff as the dead. Gently, you rolled your muscles; experimenting with how much movement you had. Almost back to normal although a few places were tight. A few pops gave you a shiver, feeling the release of your joints. The wolf in you was thrilled.

Starting at a slow pace, you were drawn straight to the forest that made the border of the Cullens and the Quileute pack.

Your feet picked up pace once you passed the threshold of skinny trees and dived deeper and deeper. Heart racing, you felt your entire body explode as you leap; what was once a human foot was replaced by a giant paw.

All four paws landed with a thud, your world expanded as you tilt your head up; snout sniffing the air for anyone familiar. The thoughts of the others nearby immediately flooded you. Never truly alone in the forest, you full on run, knowing your way home by heart.

Yes. You were free. You were powerful in this form. If only you had had a chance to shift before being poisoned by that. . . that thing. The image of her still haunted you.

“(y/n)!” Came the echo Paul’s voice, excited and full of relief.

“Jesus, is that what you and Sam went up against?”

“What the hell was that thing?”

“Are you okay?”

Vibrations under your paws alerted you to the stampede of your pack, your family. They fell upon you, tails wagging and snouts poking at your face. You licked them happily in reply. Young and scrawny Seth Clearwater came bounding on lanky limbs and nearly bulldozed you to the ground had you not been stronger. You were able to keep yourself up and tackle Seth to the ground playfully. Paul and Jared tag in and it becomes an all out wrestling match, the only way they could show that they had truly been concerned about you.

“Alright, give her some space.” The lumbering black wolf of Sam stood patiently with Jacob, Quil, and Embry and the other young wolves. All except for Leah.

Reluctantly, the boys get off of you and let you stand up to shake yourself off.

“How are you feeling?” inquires Sam as he looks you over.

Admitting “A little stiff from being paralyzed for so long, but other than that I feel great. Are you okay? You didn’t stay at the Cullens.”

“I had to get back to the pack, tell them what happened. The Cullens assured that you would be taken care of and released as soon as you were healthy enough. Which it appears didn’t take too long. I’m glad.”

One of the young wolves, a thrill in his voice asks you “So what was that thing?”

“I’ve never seen anything like it. Even in all the horror movies I watched.” Another juvenile pipes in. All this supernatural stuff must have been so exciting for them. They didn’t know yet how dangerous that world was. Even for a being as strong as the wolves.

“Enough questions.” Embry speaks up with a snap of his teeth. Their ears flatten like airplane wings; tails tucked between their legs. “(y/n) has been through a lot. She doesn’t want to talk about it.”

“Embry is right. We should let her rest.” comments Seth as his tail wags slowly.

You didn’t want to talk about your experience, but that didn’t mean you wanted to skip out on your patrol duties. Especially since there were rogue vampires potentially roaming about. “Thanks for your concern, but I want to go back to work.”

Feeling Sam’s hesitance, he turns his head to look at Paul and Jared to see what they thought. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. I only got a little scratch on my face. And the poison has already exited my system. I’m ready to go!” Pawing at the earth, you try and smile as best as you could in your wolf form. The wolf pack needed everyone on board. A vampire had been so close to your territory. This. . . Victoria. Whoever she was. She was bringing trouble to Forks and La Push. The string of mysterious deaths up in Seattle most likely was her doing as well. You had seen it on the late night news that your parents watched. It made them worried as well. They knew that you would have to deal with the murderer if indeed it was a vampire. Constantly they worried about you. You knew they would freak out once you got home and they saw the cut upon your cheek. Job hazards, you would tell them. Neither of your parents knew that you had already imprinted. You would keep that to yourself for as long as possible.

*

“You know you didn’t have to walk me home, right?”

Embry blushes a little bit as the two of you walk side by side on the gravel road. The clothes you had worn at the Cullen household were back on you, the smell of vampire having been wiped away during your patrol out in the forest. “I know, I just wanted to make sure that you’re really okay.”

A smile spreads across your face as you focus on the road ahead but inside you felt a little giddy that this sweet boy was worried about you. Out of his little trio, Embry was by far your favorite. The two of you had so much in common and often hung out when the two of you weren’t scheduled for patrolling. Or when you were paired off, most of the time you and Embry would simply goof off, earning a scolding from Sam. You had hardly had any time to hang out with him since. . .

Since you imprinted on Edward.

That had put a sour note in your life and made it difficult to enjoy anything.

“Well, thanks I suppose.”

“Did it hurt?”

“What?”

Embry stops and points to a spot on his cheek, mirroring where Xiomara had injured you. Fingertips cautiously move up to the jagged scars that had barely scabbed over. Underneath your feather like touch, you felt the soreness of the wound; like a bruise below your skin. “No. I was paralyzed. I couldn’t feel anything.” Except for fear. You had been too focused on staring into Xiomara’s pitch black eyes; watching your own terrified reflection.

Now a bit embarrassed, Embry quickly shifts his gaze away from you. “Sorry. . . but hey, at least you’ll have a cool scar to talk about later. It’ll make you look hardcore and badass.”

Giggles bubbling through your throat, you nod. “Yeah! Now I’m excited! I just hope my parents don’t freak out too much.”

“What’re you going to tell them?”

“Eh. . . cat scratch?”

“That’s one big ass cat!” Embry lets out a cute snort-laugh.

Closely, side by side, the two of you talked of nonsense subjects and silly notions. The events of the past couple of days left you, immediately and in a rush.

Before you knew it, your small house came into view.

You and Embry simultaneously stopped. Just looking at your front door. In your gravel driveway, both of your parents’ cars were there.

“Who am I kidding, my parents are definitely going to freak out.”

“You want me to go in with you?”

Shaking your head you tell him it’s okay. “Thanks for walking me home though.”

“You’re welcome.” Embry smiles at you, such a boyish smile too. When you start walking again to your porch you hear Embry call you back. You turn halfway to better hear him. His whole body had become tense. “I know you’ve imprinted on. . . him. . . but, I just have to tell you this, at least once. I like you a lot. I’ve liked you so much for such a long time that I don’t even know when it started. I know you’re not my imprintee either, but until she comes into my life I don’t think I’ll stop feeling this way for you.”

You felt incredibly lightheaded. A boy likes you.

He wasn’t Edward, but you had always thought Embry was cute.

Blush and butterflies both burst into your body.

“Ah-um. . .” All throughout your hands was a warm tingling sensation.

“(y/n)!” Your front door is thrown open and your mom and dad are rushing to you. Allowing Embry to escape back up the street.

---------

TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch , @dangerouslittlefairy , @burn-crash-rqmance , @casedoina​

[kimchokejin]

tag game 🏆 in which natalia (@jiminsproof​), heather (@wistfulocean​) and elle (@joon-rkive​) activate a particular brand of crazy for me. but they probably knew this would happen

so the game itself is simple, rank 34 bangtan lead singles (?) in order of your preference

i will put the rest under the read more because it’s about to get long-winded and opinionated in here 🤙

so first of all...this should have been much easier for me given i created a bts song ranker a few months ago and re-ranked the songs like, last month lmao. however as you can probably guess i overthought this yet again! but after 10 listens i think it’s safe to say i should just stop wasting my time and letting bts completely take over my spotify wrapped for the 3rd year in a row. so my ranking is below. but three FOUR important things before i begin!

1. there is only 1 (one) song on here that i h*te. some of the others aren’t really my thing, but i still enjoy them sometimes! it’s just my taste, if i have any. i joke a lot about my opinions being right but really, truly, these are just opinions

i had to resist adding “but i’m right” here

2. i am ranking these songs based on how i feel about them while listening to them alone with my headphones. i am trying to leave music videos and performances out of it, although there are some performances that have seeped into my soul and i just can’t separate them. but i will let you know when i notice that happening. not all of these songs even have performances (that i know of? did they perform heartbeat?) and with the slow ones ofc the performance might just be them standing onstage in front of microphones so i just don’t think that’s a fair comparison. similar with the mvs, i’m definitely gonna be biased towards the videos with more budget and/or when the members are older lmao so i just don’t want that to be a factor. and there are also some songs that are more fun to listen to while screaming along with your friends and i’m not gonna be able to forget that completely either but again i don’t do that as much with the slow songs and i think they deserve a chance in my ranking. point is i’m TRYING to focus on sound alone. and related to that:

3. i do not speak korean or japanese! i like to look up the meanings of bts songs when i think about it, especially because some of them have such great messages (and others not so much lol) but it’s easy for me to forget that while i’m listening to the songs because i don’t understand many of the words they’re saying. i would say overall that the meaning of the song sometimes makes me like a song more or less, but the language barrier definitely makes that super secondary to me just enjoying the listening experience

4. also! i became a fan during dynamite era. so i might be less attached to some of the old songs (or a song like yet to come!) than people who’ve been fans for longer.

okay, so with all that said, here is my ranking:

Film Out

Spring Day

Boy In Luv

We Are Bulletproof pt. 2

Mic Drop

Boy With Luv

N.O.

No More Dream

Epilogue: Young Forever

Lights

DNA

IDOL

Fake Love

Blood, Sweat & Tears

I Need U

Heartbeat

Run

Just One Day

Danger

War of Hormone

Fire

Dope

Stay Gold

Black Swan

ON

Airplane pt. 2

Butter

Dynamite

For You

Save Me

Life Goes On

Yet To Come

Not Today

Permission To Dance

some of these rankings might be surprising so please

let me explain

in reverse order so we end on a positive (but emo) note

(notes aren’t even necessary and were written mostly in drunk lmao basically just whatever came to mind while i was listening)

[namjoon voice] so let’s go!

34. Permission to Dance

literally no offense to anyone who likes this song if this music gets you going i won’t stop how you move but i want this song to walk the walk out of my life. where to begin...i guess i’ll start with the first time i heard this song, which was the premiere, and i remember watching the music video (i know it’s not supposed to count BUT) with my roommates and at the beginning we were like “oh she’s wearing a mask...is she gonna...” and then she DID. they all did. and we were like are you serious? we stayed up for THIS? like ed sheeran wrote it and i doubt the guys had much creative control of the video esp the scenes they weren’t in but like releasing a song with a music video basically proclaiming COVID is over when it was still a huge problem literally everywhere...YIKES! btw get your omicron boosters folks. ofc the lyrics are generic enough that my friends and i just decided to treat it like a gay rights anthem after the rainbow cowboy performance but even if i could get the horrible taste out of my mouth after that...the song itself still makes me sick. they autotuned the fuck out of it to the point where the chorus sounds like vomit sloshing around in a bucket, the lyrics are empty nonsense, and it’s just not bts! like ed sheeran wrote better songs for one direction, songs that still sounded kind of like ed sheeran songs. this isn’t even ed sheeran’s new sound and it CERTAINLY isn’t bts’ sound. i listen to this song and best case scenario i am tense the entire time waiting for it to be over. my friends and i CHEERED when it dropped down from #1 after one week lmao. the 1 (one) good thing about this song which doesn’t count for my ranking is the sign language built into the dance, that was great! i promise i will not be like this for the rest lmao

notes

the beginning is a one direction song. is it wmyb? that would explain why it triggers a fight or flight response in me

i mean when it’s live jk’s part at the beginning is kinda nice but again that doesn’t count

namjoon why did you say elton john in a british accent

“right vibe” yoongi please define this vibe you keep speaking of

hobi’s cute during his part at the end of the chorus but that’s because of him not the song

jimin’s high notes at the end are good live but again they don’t count!!!

same with jin’s “we don’t need to WOOOOOOORRYYYyyy” that’s my favorite part of his voice

i needed to drink to get through this one yikes

33. Not Today

okay so absolutely NOTHING against not today but this falls in my category of bts songs where i’m like...”why are you yelling???” which makes absolutely NO sense because i generally LOVE the songs that go hard and this song is kind of allegedly about social justice? which is literally the MOST valid reason to be yelling. and yet...i think this song just makes me feel like i’m in a battle scene in a movie, but not the biblical kind like ON, more like the sci fi and/or youth revolution kind like hunger games where it could feasibly happen in a few hundred years and it just stresses me OUT! when i’m in a really chill mood this song can be fun but in any other situation i’m like someone please get me outta here i’m gonna dieeeEEEE. idk i’m sensitive sometimes. i guess the song does its job though

notes

okay but literally does the beginning of this song not give you anxiety is this really just me

yoongi’s rapping voice is good though

extra! huh!

still part of this ~woooooorld~

extra plus ordinary! huh!

WAH!

WILL i survive? will i REALLY???

chong! jojun! BALsa!!!

seriously it’s movie trailer battle scene music

too hot! (milk)

i love hobi’s rap

whatcha sayay! not todayay!

whatever effect they did on the vocals in the bridge i liked that it fits

hands up!

i had a nice day i do like this song

but it’s also v long

i will accept this gunshot it could be thematic

32. Yet to Come

ahhhh yet to come...again i LOVE the message behind this song and it’s something i need to hear at the tender age of 26. the sound just isn’t really my thing. but the best part of this song is when the rap line comes in on the chorus. specifically yoongi and how PASSIONately he raps his part i really FEEL it in the live performances (not that that’s supposed to count here...). last thing i’ll say is that i feel the need to sing this song more than i feel the need to listen to it, so i guess it’s catchy, but i don’t enjoy the listening experience as much as most of their other songs

notes

vocal line does sound nice in the beginning actually

i should just listen to this drunk all the time

no i shouldn’t

[jk voice] yooonGAAAAAAAAY

i sure HOPE the best is yet to come

31. Life Goes On

this might as well be tied with yet to come tbh, the only difference between the two is that i’ve been with this song longer and i’m more attached. and vocal line’s high notes in the chorus are super impressive. i try to sing along and i’m piercing everyone’s eardrums. singing that high AND softly is really fucking hard like props to them...also every time yoongi sings “mmm mmm mmm mmm” i say “thanks suga” afterward because that alone is worthy of a grammy

notes

the bass line is so close to another famous song idk which one but it’s also satisfying

we got jk low notes good good good good good good GOOD!

thanks suga

BEAUFITUL BEAUTIFUL high notes

30. Save Me

this song is catchy, it just doesn’t really do anything for me. i think it ends up fading really easily into the background and it doesn’t really stand out next to other songs with a similar sound

notes

the clock is like what do you mean what is the purpose (2015) of it

jimin your voice is beautiful

i just don’t think i could pick this instrumental out from a lineup of other 2010s dj hits you know?

lmao the echo on tae’s voice went so weird like really listen to it (nyah nyah nyah)

please save me tonight p p p please save me tonight

whoo! whoo!

the best of ME???

but yeah this sounds to me like parts of other songs but don’t ask me which ones i’ve lived a long life i don’t remember

no thank YOU namjoon 🤭

29. For You

okay i genuinely do LOVE this song i just don’t always have the patience for it, if that makes sense. it’s a good vibe that sometimes makes me feel nostalgic but it takes some time to build up. that’s okay! i just have to be in the right mindset for it. and similar to heather i only discovered the mv recently and wow that’s adorable 🥺

notes

joonie baby why are YOU far away. come home. the kids miss you

shower! we’re getting really excited about hygiene!

lmao what is that noise they had to wake yoongi up for this

tae did a REALLY good job in that chorus wow

oh rap line in the chorus no wonder i like this

28. Dynamite

this is the song that got me into bts and it’s a bop! and i think a lot of people have problems with the lyrics because they’re ridiculous but dare i say i like them more than butter’s? it’s just a silly little song and it makes me happy sometimes. jungkook does like milk, lebron does jump high, king kong does exist, that’s three facts in one song what more can you want? and i’ll give bts the benefit of the doubt on this one because it was the first all english group song (that i know of?). maybe it WAS just a gift to armies all around the world because times were tough and english is a widely understood language and not an obvious cash grab like ptd or...

notes

cup of milk let’s fuckin rock and roll!!!

i like jk’s voice when he says kong and stone

this beat cha ching like money! huh!

the autotune here is bad too ngl

namjoon i’m sorry you had to say that in a megaphone but i kinda love it

🎵 its called 4 on the floor! a beat you can’t ignore! 🎵

27. Butter

okay first of all you cannot call me a butter hater exhibit a my 2021 spotify wrapped:

i listened to regular butter (#1) ALONE 724 times...i just really wanted it to stay #1 on billboard lol but i kind of was addicted to the song too. i didn’t get really tired of it the whole 10 weeks straight i was listening to it (between other bts songs...i’m not crazy). and i love that it showed bts being confident about themselves because i worry about that sometimes...some of them have anxiety and body image stuff so seeing them like this like oh yeah i’m hot shit again made me really happy. that said, you know, this was definitely a cash grab and the song itself feels very thrown together (unlike dynamite which was basic but seemed to be more ~sonically cohesive~) so i can only rank it so high

notes

b-b-b-buttah motherfuckah!!!

woo!

break it down!

i remember when this song first came out i was so confused? idk it all just happened so fast

fresh boy or doom boy namjoon which one is it

oh hobi’s part is the BEST part whenever there is party to bring he BRINGS IT

WE DON’T STOP!

OH MY GOD!

26. Airplane pt. 2

sequels will never match up with the original and with an original like airplane by j-hope that is a BIG hangar to fill. not that i spend all of my time listening to this song comparing it to airplane pt. 1 lol. it’s a bop for sure, but similar to save me i think it fades easily into the background. the performance with the microphones takes it over the top but i’m not counting that here. ummmm don’t tell natalia’s mom i need to stay on her good side

notes

i’m in a detective film

the HIGH NOTES! JIN!!!!! i think

i forget what the dance was for this actually but i hope they shake their hips a lot

again hobi’s rap is the best but it’s literally the same as part 1 you know???

IDUNNOIDUNNOIDUNNOIDUNNO! IDUNNOIDUNNOIDUNNOIDUNNOOOO! IDUNNOIDUNNOIDUNNOIDUNNO!

[unnecessary sexy sighing]

25. ON

getting to my biggest LET ME EXPLAIN moments. a lot of this will be the same as what i say about black swan, i don’t think these songs are meant to stand alone. they don’t sound BAD alone, but they were meant to be performed. it’s true of so many kpop songs but when you take away the performance these songs in particular (compared to other bts songs) just don’t hit nearly the same. i think a part of that might just be the way they were mixed/mastered and what the streaming platforms did to the volume when they were distributed (i am completely pretending to know anything about this). not sure if this is fair to use as a factor because the song itself is still so good, but this is a problem i have with songs from other artists too where they sound so good with speakers but then with your headphones it’s just...disappointing. ON in particular sounds a bit quiet and almost restricted in my headphones, while other bts songs sound a lot louder and fuller at the same volume. like when you watch ON being performed, you are ON the battlefield WITH the marching band watching them fight and it’s incredible. when you’re listening to ON alone on your headphones you are watching a war movie with bts as actors and half of them aren’t great actors and no one knows how to use the weapon they’re holding except yoongi. it’s like watching the ON cinematic music video when you could be watching the kinetic manifesto dance performance. it will just never compare

notes

i can’t understand what people are sayin! no way me too

no i will not look at your feet namjoon i have seen enough

whatever else namjoon is saying i love it

okay it’s a little better than watching a war movie it’s like watching a high school marching band youtube video

edgelords

hobi and yoongi’s echo things and sound effects are the best part of this thing

ooh yeah oh eh eh oh oh eh uh huh uh huh doo doo doo

YA YA YA YA! YA YA YA YA! YA YA YA YA! YA YA YA YA! YA YA YA YA!

WIN NO! MATTER! WHAT! winnomatterwhatwinnomatterwhat nega mwoladeon nuga mwoladeon i don’t give a uh i don’t give a uh i don’t give a UH! YEAH!

jimin will you be my roommate though for real i need one

like jk’s high notes are not nearly as dramatic without him standing alone on the stage crouching in pain with a band behind him it’s just not the same

like i’m tapping my foot i just don’t feel the energy

24. Black Swan

i think i made my point with ON but i will just add here that it makes more sense for black swan to not hit in general just because the whole point of the song is like losing passion for music. and it’s not *just* an r&b pop dance song like i think the orchestral elements and the vocal distortions make it super unique. but without the performance, again, it just doesn’t hit the same at all. musically this song is like edging to me. it kind of builds and then goes steady and you’re waiting for it to flourish but then it doesn’t, it just goes “do your thang” and i’m just like dudes what does that even mean. i don’t know what your thing is either. and again maybe that goes with the meaning of the song but i’m just never satisfied unless i’m watching the music video or a dance performance. so that’s why this masterpiece is here on the list

notes

this song is really fucking cool i mean it

the bass is full i appreciate that

bump bump bump! jump jump jump!

yeah yeah yeah! killin me now! killin me now! do you hear me yeah!

hobi’s part is really good

driving to the studio!

ba da NA NA!

this should’ve been a hit

23. Stay Gold

this song was an early fave of mine, i have fun memories of listening to this in my roommate’s car as they were first introducing me to bts. but it got old real fast so i haven’t listened to it much since 2020. but listening to it again after a while...it’s a good song...the best part of it BY FAR is jimin when he sings the japanese part in the chorus because holy shit is that not the cutest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life??? wtf????? if he did that for the whole song it would probably be higher on this list lol

notes

i’m sorry i will never hear the beginning of this song normally ever since that meme lmao

tae is really good in that pre-chorus

they really BELT out that chorus you go vocal line

honestly pissed they only had jimin do the japanese chorus once i have tears in my eyes

jin said “i’ll steal your heart” and i didn’t even believe him but then he did it :(

oooooh those high notes! so pretty!

22. Dope

okay i love this song but it does fall into the “why are you yelling???” category. i think what throws me off is the musical break after chorus. whatever that instrument is reminds me too much of another 2010s song i didn’t like and i just can’t always get with it. i’ll jam to it with other people but not really when i’m alone. lots to make fun of though which i really appreciate!

notes

AYO LADIES AND GENTLEMEEEEEEEEN (say this in a really annoying baby voice)

DOPE! DOPE! DOPE!

JJEO JJEORO!!!

i don’t wanna say yes!

🎵 some words just go together like higher desire and fire 🎵

those beats in namjoon’s part really hit

ENEMY ENEMY ENEMY!

ENERGY ENERGY ENERGY!

the fact that namjoon said “can i get a little bit of hope?” and hobi’s part wasn’t right after...wtf....

bangtan style lmao

hustle liiiiiiiife!!!

[baby voice] I GOTTA MAKE IT RIIIIIGHT BABY

OW!

21. Fire

thoughts are pretty similar to dope even though they literally tell us why they’re yelling. a bass boosted version of this was my “GET THE FUCK UP BITCH” alarm for a short time so i think it also gives me horrible flashbacks that probably affected the ranking. but it’s a jam for sure!!!

notes

like those first notes bass boosted...imagine that waking you up...it’s scary

this instrumental is honestly ridiculous

when i wake up in my rrrOOOOM

say la la la la la! (la la la la la) say la la la la la! (la la la la la)

(bultaoreune)

BOW WOW WOW

hey........................................burn it up

fiyah!

need! to burn! it down! OW!

HA! HA! HA HA! HOTTER (i always thought they were just laughing aggressively oops)

20. War of Hormone

i am CACKLING every time at jk singing “yes i’m a bad boy so i like bad girls” i love it so much. also s/o to tae for giving his ALL to “TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW...IMMA GIVE IT TO YOU GIRL RIGHT NOW” because that probably did a number on his voice. he did so much for us 🥲

the beginning is hilarious i can’t believe they had the mario coin and power up noises too they did that for ME!!!

so aGGRESSIVE namjoon

I’LL be your FAN!

YES i’m a bad boy SO i like BAD girls

hello hello (what) hello hello (what) tell me what you want right NOW!

hello hello (what) hello hello (what) imma give it to you girl right NOW!

say that in a baby voice too

i like the guitar a lot

eh heh! eh heh! eh eh eh hu yeeeeeeeah!!!!!

19. Danger

this song is just so dramatic and hilarious i always love listening to it. also the most important thing i have to say about this song is i am SHOCKED there isn’t a pokemon parody for this in which jimin says “you gotta catch em all” right before the chorus because that’s what i sing every time i cannot be the only person who does that

notes

yeeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(in a baby voice) YOU’RE IN DANGER

YOU’RE IN DANGER

YOU’RE IN DANGER

YOU’RE IN DANGER

i’m SICK!

DEONG DEONG DIGIDEONGDEONG

MICHIL GEOT GATAAAAA HOOOOOO

YOU GOTTA CATCH EM ALL!!!

you gotta make fun of jk trying to be sexy in the chorus with the UH!

tae really just let it all out in this song thanks for that buddy

BEEP BEEP!

rap line is so good. why are they so good. who approved of that

oh also sing jimin’s part in the chorus with a baby voice

18. Just One Day

ahhhh....this reminds me of chill car rides as well. i love this song, it’s cute, it’s catchy, it’s fun to “sing” along to, it’s nostalgic, it’s a specific genre of bts songs where i think this (and maybe for you) are the only singles, but it’s my comfort genre. i love it dearly

notes

[namjoon sexy voice] yeah...just one day...one night

[deep inhale]

YA!

the SOUND EFFECTS! BEST PART. so silly i love

when the chorus goes do it! do it! do it! i feel like they’re poking me

hobi brought the party you didn’t have to ask him he just did it

can you please stay with me 🥺

17. Run

run is another one of my early faves. i remember when my old roommate first showed me their music videos this was one of the videos and songs i remembered liking a lot, probably the best at the time. maybe it was the most similar to music i was already listening to. but yeah, it’s a big banger as you know

notes

the GUITAR!

dasi run! run! run!

jimin in the chorus he’s singing his little heart out!

(in the most baby emo voice you can muster) don’t tell me bye bye! you make me cry cry! love is a lie lie! don’t tell me! don’t tell me! don’t tell me bwye bwye!

hobi’s rap is really good wow

ooooh whoooooo oooooooh ahhhhhhh

the bridge is really good like that is a quality bridge do you know how hard that is to come by

16. Heartbeat

this placement is a bit of a surprise to me because a couple months ago this was really low in my ranking. i blame sarah <3 but i think the main reason behind that was, again, me having no patience to let music build. but when you let it get to at least hobi’s part it is SO beautiful. it may still grow on me yet, stay tuned

notes

jk solo low notes oh woooooooow

🎵 some words just go together like higher desire and fire 🎵

jimin i love you you don’t have to wish for it <3

you give me a new BIRTH

HOBI!!!

this is a fist pumper when you get to the 2nd chorus

JIMIN’S HIGH NOTES

JIN’S HIGH NOTES

when the GUITAR gets going oh yes

tae singing high is also so beautiful there’s something special about it

15. I NEED U

okay so this is another banger but what sets this above some of the others is the silly boy band dance i do to this song which isn’t supposed to count but still

notes

fall (everything) fall (everything) fall (everything)

AH!

hobi’s part is so good

but you are everything! everything! everything!

mianhae (i HATE YOU!) saranghae (i HATE YOU!) yongseohae (shit)

and then the dance move

it goes round and round! i go down and down!

jungkook you don’t need a girl could you even look her in the eye at this point?

I NEED YOU GIRL!

another excellent bridge

14. Blood Sweat & Tears

fantastic song ABSOLUTELY no question like this song is great the whole time there are no dull parts i listened to it 10 times in the last week so i should know. not even thinking about the performance!

notes

starts out good and just doesn’t stop wow

peaches and cream sweeter than sweet chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings

“kiss me” if you insist hobi!!!

hobi doing most of the chorus is actually the best idea they’ve ever had

kiss me on the lips IF YOU INSIST YOONGI

oh my god jimin’s about to do some insane high notes

OW!

13. Fake Love

listen. this song is amazing incredible show stopping never been done before never the same totally unique etc. BUT. it was not meant to sound like it does. the rocking vibe mix is a step in the right direction but ultimately this was the final answer. i consider this the official version. we all know they were emo kids it just makes sense

notes

[screaming] FAKE LOVE! FAKE LOVE! FAKE LOVE!

i wanna be a GOOD MAN! (just for you)

now i don’t KNOW ME! (who are you?)

HOBI’S PART

LOVE YOU SO BAD! LOVE YOU SO BAD! drink some water sweetie

why you SAD? i don’t know. nan molla

YOONGI’S PART

oooooh i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know why

outro as intro <3 they do that a lot haha

12. IDOL

what’s fun about this song is i forget how much i love it all the time for some reason. and then it comes on and i’m like holy shit this is so good how unexpected??? also that whistle noise in the background throughout basically the entire song scratches an itch i never even knew i had. great song, one of their best for sure

notes

the BEAT in the beginning

can call me artist! can call me idol!

i don’t! care!!

i’m proud of it! no more irony!

god this song is so fun

i KNOW what i am! i KNOW what i want! i ain’t EVER gonna change! i ain’t EVER gonna trade! CHOO CHOO!

YOU CAN’T STOP ME LOVIN MYSELF!

WOOHOO!!!

AYY!

spotlight eh ! superhero goddamn! anpanman!

I LOVE MYSELF!

RUNNING MAN RUNNING MAN RUNNING MAN! BRRRP!

and the whistle do you hear it in the chorus it’s in the left ear i think it’s like a sports whistle but melodic

AYY!

11. DNA

okay so i have history with this song as well because if i remember correctly this is the first bts song i ever heard. and i didn’t really like it at first because it reminded me too much of other popular songs on the radio at that time that i didn’t like. but over the past few years and with distance from those kinds of songs i’ve grown to really love this one. tae starting the song out is a real treat because i think he rarely starts out the big songs and his voice sets a really cool vibe. also s/o to the one of my favorite misheard bts lyrics of all time “PUT YOUR ASS ON ME!”

notes

lmao the put your ass on me line might have something to do with god and fate that makes it even funnier like this wasn’t random chance you were DESTINED to put your ass on me. tragically beautiful

TAKE IT! TAKE IT! 😳

this love! REAL LOVE!

DNA! TRUE LOVERS!

my notes really are just any english sounding words i hear sorry

OH YEAH!

i love the shouting in the chorus. i love shouting

whose voice is the really low dna

space noises!

yeongwonhi! yeongwonhi! yeongwonhi! yeongwonhi!

screw the lightbulb

la lai la la la! la lai la la la!

10. Lights

first of all side note why are bts japanese songs so freaking good and give me so much emotion? why didn’t they do this with the english songs. this song is so sweet and beautiful and we again get jk starting out in his lower register which is GORGEOUS and then jimin once again singing in the cutest voice ever why was he designed to make me cry. anyway. love the song and the video doesn’t count but it might actually be my favorite bts video ever

notes

low jk solo sorry idk why i’m obsessed with this now

JIMIN 😭

WHOA HO HO HO

SING IT

every time i’m thinkin bout love every time i’m thinkin bout love! eh!

the build up to the chorus i love it i love it so much

vocal line stop making me feel things

i’m your liiiight! i’m your liiiiight!

oh this song is long i forgot

i’m BREAKIN DOWN (same)

JIMIN 😭 

EVERYONE 😭

this is one of their best songs seriously i probably ranked it too low

9.  Epilogue: Young Forever

i am not always in the mood for this song just because again i have little patience to let things build but when you get to yoongi and hobi just fucking screaming their parts i ascend to another plane of existence. it’s not even necessarily the song, it’s the PASSION i feel when i hear it that makes me love it. and again you have rap line in the chorus you simply cannot fail with that

notes

[jk voice] YOONGAYYYY!!!!!!!

HOBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHILLS!

i’m drinking sake out of a solo cup because i’m forever young

the drama! the passion! you’re gonna love the arts in philadelphia!

jimin got this tattooed

and the way it slows down and becomes kinda solemn at the end i’m gonna cry

🎵 gang vocals here we come! 🎵 😭

8. No More Dream

a classic of course of COURSE!!! again rap line in the chorus can’t go wrong. also this has definitely happened in songs before this one in the list but i love when rap line, usually yoongi, just has one random high pitched word when they’re rapping something (i want a big house big cars and big rings but  sasireun I don't have any BIG dreams) like it’s my favorite thing ever i don’t know why. and they’ve been on their follow your dreams bullshit since day 1 god i love them

notes

the BASS LINE

namJOOOOOOOOOOON

the school bell lmao

whatever hobi’s saying i love it

GEeee

STOP!

SUCH A LIAR!

la la la la la!

they’re just growling at me it’s the best

was the gunshot thematic

this seriously went so hard

please tell me how everything i’m doing is wrong i respond to that

yeah yeah! OW!

okay those gunshots were def not thematic :/

to all the youngsters without dreams aha xx

7. N.O.

okay with this song i’ve blocked out the mv completely :) and the ONE concert performance with that fucking GUITAR RIFF is literally like an engine revving up in my chest. the performance doesn’t count but too late it’s a part of meeee!!! and you gotta do that little steering wheel move for JOHEUN CHAAAA!!! the other fun thing to do is during the chorus when they’re like everybody say NO!!! you do the little echo no! and andwae! in a baby voice. baby voice never gets old to me sorry. and talking about youth issues no one else was talking about! they are icons for a reason!!!

notes

B T S

JOHEUN JIB! JOHEUN CHA!!!!

i guess this song is also supposed to be a revolution but it doesn’t stress me like not today idk why

everybody say NO! (no!)

we roll....we roll....we roll!!!

rrrrrrRRRRAH!

huh?! HUH???!!!

lmao there is so much going on in that last 30 seconds or so

6. Boy With Luv (barely feat. Halsey)

i think this was the second bts song i ever listened to intentionally, so again there is history, i was too jaded to like it the first time i heard it but when i was in a better mindset first getting into bts i really enjoyed it! jimin asking me how my day was and texting me i am giggling and kicking my feet just thinking about it. such a cute fun song and it being a more feminist version of boy in luv????? which still ranks higher on my list but pls ignore that for a sec finally please watch this video the choreography just works way too well

notes

doing the fan chant in my head sorry

vocal line finally figured out how to sound a little bit sexy without trying too hard it turns out the secret was feminism

ohh...............................bae

someone...please......come be his teacher......................

the instrumental is cool like someone called it kitschy once i agree if that’s not an insult

i love yoongi’s part

ay ay! ay ay! HOPE WORLD!

and hobi’s part

oh nooo! oh nooo! nooo way! nooo way! boy with luuuv!

oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh whoa oh

i WANT it!

namjoon’s part too all of rap line

yeah? sigh

let me flyyyyy

5. Mic Drop

mic drop is definitely meant to be performed but the difference for me between this and ON/black swan is the song still stands well on its own. it’s definitely better with the performance but i still listen to it by itself and i’m happy. and it’s just good the whole time. aside from the slow part but i’ll tell you my secret on getting past that. when namjoon’s doing his dramatic speech you gotta hype jin up. hype that part up like it’s literally the best part of that song coming up, like that dance doesn’t look completely ridiculous, and it will eventually be one of your favorite parts of the song

notes

okay i do picture hobi dancing in my head during this intro i can’t help it

yeah?

world business! bang bang! clap clap! magic! mic mic bungee!

i’m fine sorry! mianhae eomma!

i do it! i do it!

ooooh highlight of this song is when they echo “hella sick” like barking chihuahuas

baby watch your mouth (mouth!) it comes back around (round!) once upon a time (time!) we know how to fly (fly!) go look at your mirror (same! damn! clothes!) you know how i feel? (gaehaengbok) turn UUUUUuuuuuuP how many hours til we fly (woooOOOOOooooo) i keep on dreamin on the cloud! YEAH I’M ON THE MOUNTAIN! YEAH I’M ON THE BAY! EVERY DAY WE VIBIN! mic drop BAM!

namjoon says mic drop so calmly and casually i’m gonna

haters gonna hate players gonna play (swift 2014) live your life man good luck

HERE WE GO HERE WE GO HERE WE FUCKING GO!!!

and ragdoll

bo! bo-bo bo bo-bo body roll! bo! bo-bo bo bo-bo body roll! (what do you mean those aren’t the lyrics)

thanks steve <3

4. We Are Bulletproof Pt. 2

dude this just goes so hard so fast and again i’ve blocked out the mv completely in favor of the ONE concert performance in which namjoon does his little sword fighty move with his jacket and the...sash? strap? one of those things. i can’t get it out of my head and i don’t want to. again. SO much to make fun of here it’s just everything i need in a bts song and more.

oh FUCK yes

WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!

HA! HA! WE ARE BULLETPROOF! HA! WASSUP! (wassup) BULLETPROOF

[baby voice] IREUMEUN JUNGKOOK! SEUKEIREUN JUNGKOOK!!!

the vocal inflections or whatever!!!

fuck it UP tae oh my GOD

[baby jimin voice] we go HARD! <-- name of my bts hype playlist lol

click click ! bang bang! (said in a baby voice)

we just sing it like (said in a nerd voice)

AND RAPPER MAN!

rap MONSTER!

IRIWA MIRI BWA! HA HA!

rrrrrrRRRRRRAH

jin sang this right after downing a glass of milk

again there is so much going on in this dance break outro lmao

3. Boy In Luv

this song hits EVERY fucking time. i don’t even remember the performance aside from jimin is there. it doesn’t matter. the song is so good and i don’t understand the words i don’t care. it’s got hip hop, it’s got rock, it’s catchy, you can make fun of it, it ticks all the boxes for me

notes

(for absolutely no reason) FIYAH!

oh tae is definitely also there

tae really messed up his voice for this song please have some respect

rrrRRRRAH!

hakuna matata! OH!

i love this whole goddamn thing

say “say what you want” in a baby voice also

car noises!

hold up!

i just ignore the meaning of the word oppa for this

yeah yeah yeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAAH

jimin sing it bby!!!

2. Spring Day

this song was another early favorite of mine but i did get tired of it for a while because they kept performing it in 2020. but now that i’ve had some space i feel like i can fully appreciate it again. this song didn’t have to grow on me at all, i instantly liked it, tae’s “you know it all, your my best friend” deserves an oscar, i can’t even beLIEVE yoongi’s verse, and again! they are talking about this even while the government was (supposedly?) trying to downplay the whole tragedy. and this was AFTER they were getting successful, they had something to lose, but they did it anyway <3

1. Film Out

this probably seems a little random. i wasn’t in love with this song on the first listen, it definitely took a little for me to really get into it. my friends and i kept playing the music video on our big tv just because it was trippy and funny and when the song started getting stuck in my head it was all over. and vocal line SHINES in this one wow wow wow like especially the end with jimin and jin!! but we still have humor in namjoon’s part so this song is missing nothing. and then the INSTRUMENTAL. it sounded a bit strange to me when i first heard the song but now everything (the piano, the orchestra, the guitar) all come together so beautifully. and the LYRICS like at the end of the day it’s just some sad j-drama ost but it’s MY sad j-drama ost. i’ve never seen it though lol

notes

gorgeous

starts with just a little piano

piano builds

guitar comes in

harmonies

.........................................................................................ayy

beat comes in (”let the beat in”)

[clenches fist] ahhhhhhhh

making fun of namjoon in this song is my favorite past time sorry

and the la la la la las over sope’s rap <3 <3 <3

AND NOW THE ORCHESTRA

AND JIMIN!

AND JIN!

AND JIMIN AGAIN!

beat drops out

i’m a conductor now actually

to conclude:

i hate ptd

i love jimin

newfound love for jk’s lower register

tae really does put his whole pussy into it sometimes

chances are i love hobi’s part

[jk voice] yoooooonGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

namJOOOOOOOOON

jin was there...i love him i swear

sorry for all the pop 101 references

why yes i am absolutely insufferable at kpop night thanks for asking

so if you made it through this whole post let me know i’ll give you a gift of some kind idk what yet but lmk if you have any ideas

not tagging anyone because i don’t want to subject any more of my friends to reading this but if you see this and would like to do it please go for it and say i tagged you! i love to hear other people’s thoughts on bts songs, good or bad

[ijwrsmff]

yooo can i plz request strawhats hcs with a dumb/humorous and energetic f reader? if u have characters limit then ignore!

Of course! My character limit is 9 so you can request aaaaaall of the strawhats! I love writing for these babies XD I hope you enjoy!

Luffy:

He absolutely loves...LOVES when you match his energy

He’s a very hyper boy, so finding you and seeing that you can be just as hyper as him if not more?

He loves it

He always invites you to play on the deck with Chopper and Usopp

He especially loves playing tag

You better run fast…

He’ll catch you in a tackle and have you both rolling across the deck

Sanji will scold him for being too rough with you, but you eat it up

You catch him similarly

You know he can take it when you tackle him

With his devil fruit you know nothing you do could hurt him

Every once in a while you’ll take his breath away...literally

But other than that, he loves when you both can play off each other’s energy

If you’re worried about seeming dumb to him...don’t even think about it

He’s not the brightest himself so he doesn’t even notice if you seem dumb

He also loves that you can make him laugh

“Tell another joke y/n!”

He will listen to your jokes day and night

Zoro:

At first...he found you annoying

He thought you were just as dumb as Luffy

But you were nakama

He would still come to your aid if ever you needed it

But after a while...he starts to see past the intellect

Your kindness, your humor, your drive

He falls for you fast once he starts to pay attention to you

His love language is quality time

So often he’ll have you sit in the room with him while he trains

He often won’t say anything, but he will often look your way to make sure you’re watching him train

If you wanted to train with him...he can barely contain his excitement

“I’m not going to go easy on you.”

Except he does

Every...single...time

He likes to laugh, so hearing your jokes is always a good time for him

He likes to nap with you, but you’re often too energetic for that

He understands, but he’ll nap close to you

Even if you can only cuddle and sit still for a few minutes

It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep, so a few minutes is all he needs

He doesn’t care that you leave to play with the crew

Just being around you for a short period of time is enough for him

Nami:

She didn’t pay much attention to you at first, since intellect is something she looked for in a partner

She’d befriend you, but didn’t think it would go anywhere

But she slowly fell for you as she watched you and the crew play

She didn’t participate, more than content to just watch with Robin

But every once in a while she’ll play with you guys

The crew noticed immediately

She never played with them…

But that all changed once you came around

You asked her so sweetly to join and she couldn’t say no to that face…

She gets a bit frustrated when she just wants to relax and cuddle but you can’t sit still

Eventually, she learns to cope with it

After all, your energy is something that had her fall in love with you to begin with

Still, she would often try to cuddle you

Luckily you get to sleep in the same room, so she usually keeps cuddling reserved for bedtime

Though most nights you stay up later than her, always trying to use up all your energy for the day before turning in for the night

Once you’re ready to sleep, you know she’ll always be there to cuddle each other to sleep

“Silly y/n...you’ve worn yourself out, huh? Come here...let me cuddle you to sleep.”

Usopp:

Honestly...you exhaust him sometimes

You’re more energetic than he is, but he tries to match your energy which leaves him exhausted

It’s nothing against you, he just needs a break sometimes

He likes to play with the others on the crew, but he has his limits

Once he starts getting to exhausted he breaks away for a nap

If you wanted to nap with him...that’d be nice

But he knows you might not be ready to take a nap when he is

He knows chances are, no matter how long his nap is, you’ll be back to playing with the crew when he wakes up

And then starts the whole process again

He likes to fish as well, but oftentimes you have too much energy for it

You like to tell jokes, and Usopp will always laugh at them

“Haha, that was a really good one y/n! Now how do you like THIS one?”

Will swap jokes with you for days

His arsenal of jokes never seems to run out, so you better have a lot prepared

Sanji:

He adores that you’re so energetic

Intelligence doesn’t matter to him, he’ll flirt with any girl so at first you had no idea he had feelings for you

You can be rather oblivious...so you didn’t notice when he stopped flirting with Nami and Robin

They pointed it out to you

That’s when he confessed

He would love if you would help him cook, he thinks it will be a good outlet for your energy

And besides, you both loved spending time with each other

Why not while doing something you both can enjoy?

He can be energetic, but much less so than you or Luffy

Your jokes always make him laugh

“Y/n-swan, that was hilarious! You’re so good at making people laugh. I really enjoy that about you.”

He will pout if he wants to cuddle but you can’t sit still, but he understands you need to get that energy out first

He’ll take up sitting and watching you play on the deck

He won’t participate unless you asked him veeeeery sweetly

When he does play with you guys...he gives it his all

But he always...always lets you win

Chopper:

He plays off your energy...and you play off his

Creating an endless circle of hype

He loves that you’ll play games with him, Usopp, and Luffy

You bond as friends that way

Sometimes you’ll play teams, Luffy always gets Usopp and you have Chopper

It’s an unspoken agreement

Though if you and Chopper win too much...the other two will accuse you of cheating

Somehow

He hops around in excitement when you begin to play

Equally...you hop around seeing him hop around

You always sit next to each other a dinner

While you’re all nakama...you’re his best friend, and he’s yours

While playing hide and seek, you find Chopper first

Always seeming to know where he’ll be

You find him under a gurney in his office, and you find him asleep

Seems like he was really tired after all

You smile and pick him up, taking him to his room

“I’ll always protect you, Chopper.”

He mumbles softly in his sleep “I’ll always protect you...I love you y/n”

“I love you too buddy.”

Robin:

Opposites attract much?

Where you come across as dumb...she radiates an air of intellect

Where you’re always bouncing with energy...she’s calm and collected

She didn’t believe in opposites attract until she met you

You contrast each other well, and she adores getting to see you play with her crew, the people that mean the most to her in the world

You become part of that, becoming someone special to her heart

She knows very early on that she’s developing feelings for you

She’s not only booksmart...but emotionally intelligent as well

It might catch you off guard when she confesses, but when you reply with a smile and affirmation that the feelings were returned she gives you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on her

She enjoys watching you play with her crew

Though she would never join in, content to watch from the sidelines

She honestly likes that you aren’t knowledgeable about some of her favorite topics

It means she gets to teach it to you

She’ll sit down with you, books in hand

If you expressed not wanting to learn, she wouldn’t push it

However it makes her happy to teach you, even if you are pretty slow to learn

Franky:

Oh boy...oooooh boy

He returns your energy 10 fold

He’ll start by telling you jokes, and you return with your own

Overall some of the jokes are...terrible

But you both laugh until you cry

It’s good to have a connection like yours

He doesn’t care if you’re smart or not, he just enjoys spending time with you

You’ll find him either repairing the ship, or inventing something new

You’re always his tester

“Hey look y/n! I made something new, care to try it out with me?”

It ranges from new weapons for the crew to new games he made on the fly

He loves to spend time with you, it’s always filled with laughter and smiles

Every once in a while you’ll convince him to take a break to play with the crew

He gives it his all, and shows no mercy

Despite the fact that he loves you

It makes you laugh knowing you never have to worry about him holding back

Brook:

He can’t match your energy. He just can’t

He’ll often find himself watching you play while sitting with Nami and Robin

He’ll play music to set the mood when you play, knowing a wide variety of songs

Some are upbeat, some are intense

He’s become your designated mood-setter

Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper LOVE this

It makes the games you play even more fun!

He also likes to play you quiet songs to help you fall asleep

He loves that he can express himself to you via music

“Oh y/n, I love watching you play with my own eyes! Ah! I have no eyes! Ahaha.”

He likes to teach you songs on his violin, and doesn’t care if it takes you a while to learn them

He had plenty of time to practice on his old ship, so he knows how much work you need to put in to master a craft

Quite frankly...he lost count of how many hours he spent on that ship

But it was...a lot

Many years he worked

He plans to spend the rest of his undead life with you, so in his eyes he doesn’t mind spending hours upon hours teaching you

It’s something he loves, so he enjoys that he gets to spend time practicing with you

[pillow-anime-talk]

his talented baby. {pt.1}

synopsis: You as a person with a huge (and hidden) talent, and also a girl who really surprises your boyfriend.

# tags: scenarios; current relationships; romance; fluff; some PDA; sfw

includes: female reader ft. ken kaneki & nishiki nishio {tokyo ghoul} + yuuma isogai & itona horibe {assclass}

— KEN (ft. singing)

Your closest friends invited you to a popular karaoke bar on one Friday night to celebrate a successfully passed semester in college. Of course, you couldn’t forget about your lovely boyfriend, who was at the same university, but in a different field (i.e. Japanese literature) and always supported you with all his might, knowing how much you want to do your dream job in the future.

So you went to the meeting together, and on the way to the designated place you talked all the time about what the next year of study would bring you. As soon as you reached the room where your three closest besties and one male friend were waiting for you, you both greeted them warmly, immediately taking off your thick coats and taking your seats on a soft, leather couch next to a table filled with tasty-looking snacks and colorful drinks.

Long minutes of conversations between the six of you resulted in drunk plenty of alcohol and blushes on the faces. After drinking, you always got more talkative and more self-confident, so you suggested using the TV and the karaoke machine. Of course, you first offered your friends and Ken to sing something, but they all declined, saying that you should start as an initiator. One of the girls, blonde-haired Minami, smiled at you with a sparkle in her pretty golden eyes, adding that you are the best in this and you should show how to do it correctly. You chuckled in response, waving your hand at her to dismiss compliment.

Kaneki, on the other hand, frowned as he looked at the boy who was sitting on his right.

“... Oh, you don’t know? Y/N-san hasn’t yet praised herself to you that she has a wonderful voice? Huh, huh.” The black-haired boy shook his head, reaching for the glass filled with blue something again. “Hmmm, well. Normally Y/N’s very shy, but she always sings at trips when she’s drunk.” He chuckled while you picked one of your favorite songs in the meantime. So everyone looked at your standing figure, then heard the characteristic sounds from one of Selena Gomez’s songs coming from the gray speakers.

“My dear, I dedicate it to you~!” You looked with joy on your face towards the eighteen-year-old, giving him a quick wink, and then you started your little performance with ‘Love you like a love song’ from the above-mentioned artist.

Your friends didn’t seem surprised and instead started clapping to the beat of the music... but Ken’s eyes widened and he spat out his high-percentage drink, not knowing how to react to the fact that for nine, long months of your relationship, you concealed the fact that you could sing so well and so beautifully. Your voice was perfect for the song that was playing now, and you seemed to be having a great time – there was a huge smile on your lips, your eyelids were slightly closed and your hand was over your heart. If it weren’t for the fact that you were at a karaoke bar, everyone would definitely think you are playing a concert on the biggest stage in Tokyo city.

After the song was over, another girl got up to present a completely different choice, and you handed her the dark microphone, bowing in the process.

Kaneki still seemed speechless and as soon as you sat down next to him, he immediately kissed you on the warm forehead, asking you to sing more to him, especially when you two are going to be alone, because he probably fell in love with you once again and just wanted to experience that love every day thereafter.

— NISHIKI (ft. ballet)

Nishiki, as a pharmacy student, didn’t have much time for extra-curricular activities or unnecessary meetings; in addition, the fact that he was a bloodthirsty ghoul and had to watch over himself made it difficult for him to function normally in the life of Kamii University. However, the brown-haired man always found time for you, for his beloved girlfriend.

You had been dating for over three, long years, and the man definitely couldn’t imagine his own life without you by his side. You knew each other better than anyone else in this world, but sometimes some tiny things of your ordinary day eluded Nishio; of course you understood it perfectly and you weren’t angry or disappointed with him. After all, he had to protect himself, you, take care of his specific menu, be vigilant at every step, and additionally he had to pretend to be the perfect student, senpai (or kouhai) and friend of other people.

So you weren’t surprised when one day you handed him a silverish ticket for probably the most important show of your life and he just looked at you in wonderment. At the beginning, the twenty-year-old asked if it was a performance related to singing or playing an instrument due to the fact that the colorful paper didn’t tell him too much, but you just smirked as you tweaked the unruly, soft hair on his head.

“Hmm. If you don’t remember what I do in my free time, it’s even better, I guess. Come and see it for yourself, honey. I think that thanks to this you will even calm down a little and rest due to the recent weeks.” You announced in a light tone of voice, and the young man sighed under his breath.

“So... I’ll find out in three days, am I right?” He made sure by correcting his glasses and you nodded, then grabbing his rough hand and kissing his cool cheek. A short while later you suggested going to your apartment and catching up on a few episodes of your favorite series that you started quite recently.

The anticipation of your important day passed very quickly and on Saturday, at 6 p.m., when everyone took their seats (with your boyfriend sitting on one of the balconies with the best view of the stage), delicate music was played in the theater, which made everyone shiver on the whole body. Until then, the brown-eyed boy somewhere in the back of his head had the impression that it was a theater performance or an opera, but when he saw your person appear on stage in a beautifully tailored dress and ballet shoes, all the questions that flickered in his mind disappeared in literally one second.

‘Well, yeah. I remember now. She always told me about ballet classes and new shoes.’ A huge, proud smirk came on his pale face and you glanced out of the corner of your eye towards his VIP seat.

Though your expression was cold and composed, you felt an enormous heat in your small heart as the man waved at you, showing two thumbs up. His lips moved even slightly, and although Nishiki tried to hide it, you knew perfectly well that the pink blush and mute ‘I love you’ was sincere and even better than being able to play Odetta, the White Swan, in a ballet spectacle.

— YUUMA (ft. songwriting and guitar playing)

Christmas at school was never what you enjoyed; maybe due to the fact that before, your classmates on main campus were quite specific and you definitely didn’t fit with their strange ‘ideals’. It was only in the class E that you felt that you could find real friends or people who would share your ideas.

But, hmm. Still, you seemed to stand out from the rest of the girls in the class who had more... down-to-earth hobbies or characters than you; Okuda liked chemistry and was really excellent at it, Kirara loved reading, Rio was the best at English and had a great sense of fashion, and Toka was pretty good at cooking. Contrary to them, you preferred to... do more ‘intimate’ things. Writing short poems filled your heart with peace and prevented you from being as critical of yourself as usual. And when you wrote the lyrics of the songs, made notes or melodies to them and sang quietly, you could feel like a real artist that everyone wanted to admire and imitate.

Therefore, when your first and last class holidays with the rest of the 3-E students were fast approaching, Koro-sensei was the one who asked you for a short talk. You weren’t sure what this was about, but moments later your uncertainties were dispelled.

“Y/N-san, I think you mistook your notebooks today and instead of giving me your homework, you gave to me... this.” He said in his as always happy voice, and seeing the black notebook in which you always wrote songs and notes, you blushed all over your face, apologizing profusely for the mistake. “Huh? But this is no mistake, my dear. If it weren’t for this, I would never even think that we have such a talented soul in Class 3-E. So would you like to perform in front of the rest of the students and teachers during the holidays?” The easy question made you widen your eyes and sighed.

“I-I’ve never played in front of anyone, so...” You admitted shyly, and the tall, yellow octopus just chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure they will love it. We can practice together.”

Well, you couldn’t refuse (especially when Koro-sensei offered to bring your favorite, foreign snacks...) and on class Christmas day you showed up with your acoustic guitar and a notebook full of chords and songs. Everyone was surprised and curious at how well you play guitar. After all, you’ve never even mentioned that you can play any instrument before. On the other hand, the class representative, and your boyfriend at the same time, immediately came up to you, asking if you were really okay; better than anyone else, Isogai knew that you didn’t like too much attention and big crowds. But you reassured him it was okay and promised your teacher you would do it, so you smiled at him and then took your seat under the blackboard with a wooden guitar on your lap.

The song you chose for the day was a song you wrote quite recently. It had a little bit of magic, and at the same moment it seemed very romantic and delicate. Even Karma seemed delighted with your beautiful play and soft voice that echoed from time to time between the walls of huge classroom.

At the end of the song, you decided to raise your gaze and simultaneously look at your all friends, three teachers and other half; everyone was really happy and positively speechless. So you gave Yuuma a slight wink, making him blush sweetly.

The young teenager definitely hoped you would show him more of your songs someday, not necessarily the happy Christmas carols Kaede and Ritsu asked for.

— ITONA (ft. dancing)

“... You never mentioned that you can dance.” He admitted softly, and you squeezed his smooth hand tighter.

“So... I mention it right now. It’s not a big deal, baby. I just ... like it and enjoy it a lot.” You giggled as you correcting the black sports bag over your shoulder, then opened the heavy door to the training room, immediately jumping up at the sound of loud squeals and greetings from your closest friends. “Guys, this is Itona Horibe, my boyfriend that I told to you before! Love, it’s Aki-chan, Yui-chan, Kazuya-kun, Saburo-kun, and our cameraman and editor Ryuu senpai. Most often, the five of us cooperate with each other when it comes to dance in groups of five people. And... today we are going to cover a song so I hope you’ll like it. I’ll go change and you all, please, don’t scare my boyfriend and give him something to drink!”

As a group leader, you often came up with choreographies and warm-ups for yourself and others. So, it couldn’t be otherwise this time. For the last week and a half you have been practicing the choreo you came up with and today you were supposed to record material for the video on your quite popular YouTube account. You were extremely excited, not only with the new content, but most of all with the fact that your beloved one would be able to watch it live and evaluate your skills that have been refined over the years. So as soon as you got back to the teens waiting for you, you kissed the light-blue-haired quickly on the right cheek and told him that he could sit against the wall, close to the table full of snacks and the contact for charging the phone.

Then you talked with everyone for a while, doing a short warm-up and reminding the cameraman about how to move the cam. A few short minutes later, you lined up in the middle of a huge white room with Ryuu in front of you. You knelt down in the center, of course, gently moving your shoulders to calm your rapidly pounding heart and heavy breathing, and when a song by Ariana Grande started playing all over the bright room, you all looked at the already activated camera, shaking your heads and then you got up from the wooden floor.

Itona... was speechless. He has never seen people dancing before, he has never even been interested in others, only you and what you like. Today he got to know your little passion, which turned out to be a breathtaking talent, and the boy wondered if you could do anything else; are you good at one specific dance genre or are you able to move your body in a completely different rhythm than he currently saw?

From Koro-sensei’s history lessons, when you two were in junior high, the eighteen-year-old remembered perfectly well that there is also classical dance, tango and breakdance. So could you also do that? He had to ask you about it later.

But now his curious gaze was focused on you and your huge, radiant smile, and the sound of feet hitting the ground. He also looked at your legs, tiny hands, stomach, and hair, while he wondered if he might learn to dance too, to be even closer to you and your hobby. After all, you looked so beautiful and so joyful... He wanted to share these emotions.