#rest in fucking pieces ig!!! back to reading

[vipier-a]

not me going to innocently play video games and my tv actually BLOWING TF UP 💀 will somebody please tell god I am not his strongest soldier and I can’t take any more of his toughest battles

[fics-lovebot]

enhypen fic recs pt.2

main masterlist - pt. 1 - pt. 3 - pt. 4 - pt. 5

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

these are my personal favs, so pls reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

home for the bitchless - ( @hannie-dul-set ) on going au. crack, rom-com, rev harem. hee + 02z + txt soobin and beomgyu. housemates! au. LMAOOOO this has to be one of the funniest things i´ve read on here fr

When you catch the bouquet at a wedding - ( @scented-morker ) ot7. FLUFF. PLEASEEE I LOVE THISS, i´ve never seen any writing with this concept!

sassy - ( @jaysng ) fluff, slice of life. husband!jay, wife!reader. AAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO CUTE JAY IS SUCH A GIRL DAD!! :((

dni (do not ignore) - (@boyfhee ) ot7 smau. crack, fluff, vvv lowk angst. lmaoooo you know i love me some dramatic bf!jake

noona - ( @hoonvrs ) smau, fluff, a lottt of crack, noona!reader, jungwons older sister!reader, younger!sunghoon, SDKJAJHAS THIS HAD ME UGLy CACKLING AT WORKKKK, im livinf for the banter, they´re all sO MEAN TO HIM LMAOO

crash and burn - ( @hannie-dul-set ) fluff, two-part rom-com, skater!au. loser!enha ft. loser!sunghoon, THIS IS SDSJFKSJ LMAOO, i love it :3

safe and sound - ( @thatfeelinwhenyou ) jungwon au, dystopian, post-apocalyptic survival, horror/thriller, slow burn, ANGST. you cannot even begin to UNDERSTANF THE CALIBRE OF THIS ART PIECE RIGHT HERE, THERE´S JUST NO WWWAAAYYYYYYY I´M READING THIS FOR FREEE!, MISS GIRL THIS NEEDS TO BE ON GOODREADS OR SUMM OH MY GAAAAWWDDDD

sent, delivered, loved - ( @woniedarlin ) angst, fluff. idol!jungwon, hybe-staff!reader. the way i ate this whole thing UPPPPPPPPPPPPP UGHHHHHH, plssilovedit

the weave to my love - ( @mygnolia ) fluff, classmates to lovers, idiots to lovers, spiderman!riki, class pres!reader. yes yes yes yes yes, this is what i´m talking about, I LOVE ITTTTT. the banter is deff my favorite thing, love the concept as well

pics i posted on my ig story for my crush to see - ( @lattegyu ) ig stories, fluff, crack, smau, non idol!jake

brought the heat back - ( @jayniks ) smut, idol!jake, giving him a bj while he´s on weverse live sdlkjlsd WHEWW

hello kitty meets batman - ( @star-sim ) fluff, angst, lowkey smut, dark horror creator youtuber!jake, downbad!jake, beauty vlogger youtuber!reader. fans had no idea their fav youtubers were in a long-term secret relationship. THIS IS SO GOOOOOODDDDDDDD plsss, i wish i could read it again for the first time

things we never said - ( @hoonigiris ) very angsty, jake au. it’s heeseung’s wedding, jake’s had too much to drink, and really, he just misses you. perhaps what happens after are the things he should never say. This is realllyy well written, i loved it

taste of heaven - ( @moonstruck-muses ) vamp au, smut, fluff, angst, vamp!jake, human!reader. he´s keeping his true nature a secret. THIS HAS IT ALLLLL and the smut is so gewd too, pls i would love the see another part of this

waiting on calls - ( @miumura ) fluff, angst, exes to lovers, second chance romance, ex bf!jake, non idol au, I LOVE THISSSSSSS, its so different and well written

ouch my head - ( @jakesangel ) loser desperate jake, smau, crack, fluff, "when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her" this is an on going series, so so so entertaining and fun to read lmao

everything but nothing - ( @cherryrikis ) ANGST (i love that shii), non-idol!au, break up talk, football cap!jake, fluffy happy ending, comfort, i rrrreally wished i could read what the rest of enha did to make yn go back to her and jake´s house omg

sidewalk theory - ( @mlyscha ) FLUff, bf!sunghoon,, wowww ahaha so WHAT IF KMS RN AND CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF EVERYONES LIFE?????? THIS IS SO LDKFJHSKDFHLKSJHDLKGSHJGHL :((( miss girl this made me want to ugly cry and scream bc why is it so fucking cute :(((((((((((

fixed comfort - ( @paarksunghoon ) fluff, non-idol!sunghoon, "the one where sunghoon’s drunk at a bar and misses his girlfriend a little too much",,, SSSSSSO WHAT IF I TELL YALL THiS IS THE MOST SLICE OF LIFE-ISH AU I´VE EVER READ?????? it´s so domestic and cute and fluffy and perfect :((

random ass texts - ( ( @saursoob ) fluff, crack, downbad!dunghoon

freaky bf!hoon texts - ( @enha-stars ) fluff, crack, very suggestive, downbad!sunghoon, mentions of pee kink,,,IKYFL

pictures of bf!sunghoon enha sends you - ( @enha-stars ) text, fluff

emergency contact - ( @hoonatic ) ANGSTYYYYYYYYY, fluff, exes to lovers. weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that he’s still your emergency contact. i love it SO fucking MUCH plssss

the pussy eating competition - ( @karinasbaby ) sunghoon au, smut, HELLO???? THIS WHOLE CONCEPT IS CRAAZZZYYYYYYYYY, bc WDYM there´s a competition of how many times a guy can make a girl squirt under 5 minutes??????? IM- it´s good yall

crush - ( @star-sim ) fluff, crack, non-idol! bf! sunghoon, sleepy!hoon, dumb!hoon. AAAAAAAAA i love it :( so domestic and fun and cute and :((((((

[toriaaniin]

The only real couple here is L and A. You should ship them, they are really in love.

Thanks for the recommendation Anon... but NO. I'm here to ship one couple, and one couple only.

If Nicola or Luke find love and happiness with someone else, wonderful! Will I ship them with other people? No. Will I be happy for them? Absolutely!

The thing is, what I see between Luke and Nicola is unlike any connection I've ever seen and it's THAT connection - a soulmate connection - that I'm here for. When either one of them makes it clear that they're committed to another person (which they haven't done :: going on a "date" while being unwilling to post that "date" on your IG stories, or a friend walking you home after a pub night who then shields you because a photographer is papping you :: these aren't examples of committed, romantic relationships!), I will stop shipping Luke & Nicola. I will not, however and ever, stop believing in the divine love I witnessed through them.

And another Anon asked and suggested:

Anon: even though my blog is new-ish, my stats tell me that I'm not being laughed at. Because I'm posting your ridiculous messages, YOU on the other hand, ARE being laughed at. In fact my readers are going to laugh at you in the comments 😂🤣

Lukola friends - these aren't the only Anons to reach out to me these past days, but they'll be the only ones I'm going to respond to publicly. I decided to share evidence of their troll campaign so that you could rest easy in the knowledge that the Lutonia's (edited to add: and Jakolas [see P.S. below]) are panicked. They saw what we saw at the BOSS event and the pieces don't fit their "hot couple in love" narrative.

A situation that didn't make sense given the lack of contact between Antonia & Luke since the end of July,

A petrified Antonia who wasn't professionally styled, as though she wasn't a priority,

An angry and disgruntled Luke who cast Antonia's hand aside, then looked like he wasn't happy to be photographed with her,

Luke's eventual (3 days later) black screened IG story with a black heart (macabre!) and a link that required two navigation clicks to get to TT so that the viewer could watch a reel that listed Antonia as "guest".

To my way of thinking, the whole "date" was an orchestrated PR stunt aimed at deflecting gaze away from Nicola & their treasure during a time when the utmost privacy was desired by both her and Luke.

So the Lutonia/Jakola anon troll's strategy? Push us when they perceive us to be down in the hopes that we don't get up. Hit out with verbiage meant to feed doubts they think we have. They also (and I love this because it's so fucking hilarious!) work soooo hard to link obvious Nicola and Polin "Lady Whistledown" references to their sinking ships. Silly gooses. And of course they ignore that Luke has never claimed or clarified Antonia's status in his life... even now, after the BOSS event.

The trolling behaviour doesn't phase me in the least. I don't have doubts they can crush with their silliness. Nicola and Luke are soulmates. End of statement.

So troll anons: why not head back to your sinking USS Lutonia or USS Jakola and cast off for home before your ship sinks to the bottom of the ocean. From this point forward I'll be blocking those that send me messages like this. If you're inclined to message me similar bullshit, why not save yourself the trouble and stay in your own shipping lane.

Aaniin Xxx

P.S. I just discovered a kinda back-door way to see who these Anon posters are... and they're NOT officially Lutonia shippers. They're JAKOLAS!! What dickheads. To all the Jakeholes that are reading this post - fuck off to your own ship. You're worse than the Lutonias. Your desperation stinks like shit. I've also incorporated Jakolas into the original post above.

[slutt4ellie]

Summer Blossom

PT3 - Veil Of Petals

masterlist

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 4

Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.

Summery -> You and Ellie were now under the same impression, you’re friends once again, the rough patch of your friendship now supposedly over..if only it was that easy!

This chapter contains -> Heavy with internalized homophobia / A lot of this part is in Reads POV / Angst / Jealous!Reader finally makes an appearance / Cat also makes an appearance 🌚 / Cat and Ellie sorta have a thing / No established relationship but ig it’s implied / Denying of feelings / I describe readers clothing once / Kissing / Lots of confusion / Tensionnnnnnn / They’re both convinced that feelings aren’t reciprocated / Eventual smut! / (Lmk if I missed anything!!!) /

WC : 8k

(Not proofread)

You were desperate. 

You knew you put the nail in the coffin with Ellie.

You could easily sense how the atmosphere between you two changed. Sure you were “friends,” on good pages, but you both felt it. It couldn’t help but feel like the two of you were actively stepping over broken glass at the hands of you. 

You shattered that previous connection as soon as you yelled at Ellie. Agreeing with what the party attendees said, what Jack said. And you wanted so bad to think that maybe a part of that freakout was indeed valid. That the whole situation was the fault of Ellie. But it was just a shitty excuse, something to cover how you actually felt about her. A feeling that you aren’t sure you’ve ever truly had. I mean, the last thing you wanted to admit is that maybe you’ve fallen for a girl.

So you yelled at her without a second thought; you made her feel stupid, gross, like she was the problem. Because to you, that felt easier, far easier than accepting that maybe you not pulling back from her that night, letting your lips rest on her pale skin, mumbling that you were okay with what was playing out actually fucking meant something- 

You genuinely just wanted to ignore that there was a chance it wasn’t all on her. And you knew why. You knew that she was different; from the little moments where she would smile at something you said, it was embarrassing how fast your heart would suddenly increase in pace. Or when her touch would linger, and coincidentally you were hyperaware of anything and everything around you...

You’d like to think you’re not dumb, but it shouldn’t have taken Ellie assuring you that she didn’t see you that way, confirming to your face that she never actually had feelings for you, adding on how you were just her best friend; her uttering those sentences shouldn’t have made you realize that a friend wasn't all she was. It was laughable, because really, how was that the night where it clicked? You genuinely couldn’t wrap your head around that being the moment where you realized you liked Ellie. It was ridiculous.

And now, you’re coming to the realization that the Ellie you liked, that version of her, was gone. And the worst part was it wasn’t in the form of her being a dick or ignoring you. She never deliberately treated you differently. She was just more aware of how you two acted together. She didn’t lie on your bedroom floor, peeking over your shoulder to get a glance of your book. Rather, she stayed on your bed. 

Late nights filled with laughs, and often drives also stopped, and even if you wanted to, you couldn’t even fucking blame her. Ellie stopped making that effort, and in all honesty, you did too. It was a tremendous shift from the beginning of your friendship, which once felt so light, now felt extremely forced. Like you were trying to fix a broken piece of glass, it was impossible to hide those shatters.

Because fuck, it was to the point where the only time you guys would actually hang out was when Joel would come over to see your father. 

It was like she’d be scared to be in your personal space again, and even though you knew Ellie would never tell you, you were fully aware that the outcome of your friendship was your fault. And you weren’t even sure if you could fix it. 

You have a little over a month to spend at your dad's place, and then, soon enough, you’d go back home to your mom's, prepared to pack your bags and leave for college. And it was like a polar opposite from when you first arrived, because despite being desperate in the beginning to leave, you wanted nothing more than to have more time. Try to mend whatever you broke. Yet time was ticking, and you can’t stop the inevitable. You were sure to be leaving soon.

As you are lying on your bed, your mind racing with a billion different thoughts, the faint sound of a yell is heard echoing from downstairs. You sigh and sit up, pushing your palms against your mattress. You’re not even sure if you heard correctly. 

Much to your dismay, soon enough there was a swing of the door, and your father walked in with a bright smile displayed all over his face. “Do I have to get a megaphone for you?” He chuckles, his voice a little strained. 

A dry chuckle leaves your lips, quickly having them curl into a smile. With a light shake of your head, you respond, “No?” You pause and swing your legs over the edge of your bed; you talk as you rise to your feet. “What's up?” 

“Joel and Ellie are coming over today.” He pauses and then continues. “For dinner—and, uh, when Ellie gets here, I just need you two to swing by the grocery store and get some food.” He smiles thoughtfully.

You hate how this one sentence has your body flooding with anxiety; obviously, you’re aware of how you and Ellie have hung out after the lake house; you just didn’t want to be trapped in a car with her…! You can already picture the awkward silence, both of you getting rather quiet in uncomfortable situations. And your silence leaves your dad confused; he awkwardly clears his throat before speaking up, eyes on you. “Does that work on your schedule?” He jokes, offering a different manner. Thankfully, it does help cloud your worries to a certain extent. 

You just nod, a light laugh leaving your lips. “Yes—yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” You smile at him before turning around to make your bed. Your best attempt to clean up your room before Ellie gets here. It’s also the moment where your smile instantly fades. 

Your dad has noticed a shift in your behaviour since the two of you came back from Joel's lake house. Probably even before that. 

Sure he was aware of how yours and Ellie’s hangouts suddenly stopped, of course being before your father dragged you to the lake house. It was extremely sudden; like as soon as Ellie left Joel sleeping at your house alone, her truck gone, was the same moment where your demeanour changed. Both of yours for that matter. Because of course he saw how you guys talked again after that lake house, but it wasn’t the same. You were far more distant with each other, Ellie only coming when Joel would be there to hang out with him. And he couldn’t pinpoint why. He just wasn't quite sure why the only person you’ve met since you arrived at his farmhouse is now the one he rarely sees you with. 

It was truly like your mind always has something going on inside of it. Zoning out was now a regular thing with you; every so often, in the middle of a conversation, it’s like the gears inside your brain jammed, like you were experiencing a feeling of mystification. 

But unfortunately, your dad being your dad, he just doesn’t think to mention it. He can only assume you're nervous about leaving your mom to go to college. Dwelling on it. And fuck, how you wish that was all it was.

Roars from outside catch your attention; the distinct sound of a truck pulling up is a telltale sound that Ellie and Joel are here. Your dad faces your back as you make your bed; regardless, he still talks. “Looks like they’re here!” He says feet trailing outside your bedroom. Quickly hearing how the creaks of the floorboards make their way downstairs. 

And as soon as your dad is gone, you shut your door and grab an outfit from your dresser, throwing it on as you try your best to fix your messy hair, hoping it now falls along the lines of being decently presentable. And you’re about to head downstairs, opening your bedroom door in preparation, but you stop. Though you can’t actually understand what they’re saying, there are three voices. Joel's, Ellies. And one extra. I mean, you didn’t think you were going crazy, but you were almost sure you heard an additional voice, a woman’s to be exact. It sounded soft, less raspy if anything, that being a clear distinction that it wasn’t Ellies.

And sure enough, you got further confirmation when you trailed downstairs. A woman was standing right beside Ellie. She seemed maybe a year or two older than you; she had tattoos trailing all over her arms and dark eyes, paired with raven hair. And you stopped to look at her for a few seconds and to say she was pretty; that would be a huge understatement, and without any type of warning, you were now immensely mindful of how you looked.

A wave of self-consciousness passed through you like clockwork.

Ellie's eyes were only on the woman, and you were almost sure she hadn't even seen you walking down the stairs. Not till Joel spoke up, his eyes locked with yours as he stepped forward. “Hey kid!” He smiles and continues softly, his accent thick. “Your dad tells me that you here are picking up a few things from the grocery store!” 

And as Ellie hears Joel talk, she finally pulls her eyes away from the woman, her green irises and soft smile now directed towards you. She awkwardly keeps her hand at her waist and waves at you. 

You feel like you have to force your eyes off of her, trying to give your full attention to Joel as you turn his direction, you give him nod to confirm what he said, of course paired with an awkward smile. 

And as you finish your sentence, you're locking eyes back with Ellie’s green ones. You give her a soft smile, waving your hand back at her. 

You try to ignore how the woman’s eyes haven't left Ellie’s side profile, like she's still trying to pin her attention. Although you feel a pang of uncomfortability hit your chest, you manage to talk, an unfamiliar ache staining the area right after. “Yeah—with Ellie, I think?” 

Ellie nods softly at you. And in what's coming, consistency, she looks right back at the woman. The same girl whose name you don't even know...! “Are you going to come with us? To the grocery store?” 

Fucking Christ. You look at the girl, then right back at Ellie. Who even is this, and why is she even in your dad's house? Why was she in the car with them? There are a thousand questions going through your mind. I mean, you literally saw Ellie less than a week ago; there was never even a mention of this woman? ... I mean, of course she didn’t owe you that; you just assumed she’d tell you. 

And it’s like Joel catches your unease and discomfort because he nudges Ellie lightly, directing his eyes towards your face; this has Ellie's eyes following, of course landing straight on you. She reads your confusion, leading her to quickly clear her throat; she manages to mumble out a shitty introduction. “Shit—sorry, this is Cat!” 

Joel smiles and talks, looking at you, then at your dad. “She’s staying with us for about a week, helping me with tasks around the farm! Right before summer ends!” He looks back and forth between you, Ellie, and Cat. 

The tension in the room eases to a certain extent; I mean that was better than what you were leaning towards. Yet it only further confused you in why she and Ellie seemed so…close? You didn’t really understand why Cat seemed so entrapped by Ellie's mere presence, but you tried to ignore it. It’s not your business. 

Ellie absently leans back and forth on her heels for a solid second; she looks at you and Cat. The silence now stretching for what feels like hours. She clears her throat before speaking. Eyes trailing back to the raven-headed girl, “We can head out now...?” Ellie looks at you. “If that's alright with you guys?”

You just nod and mumble out a quick “Mhm,” your hand moving to pick up your pair of shoes, sliding them on both of your feet. Ellie doesn’t necessarily wait up for you, her feet moving out the door before you even get on your second shoe. And of course neither does Cat.

It’s literally like she's some parasite stuck to Ellie, yet it’s like Ellie enjoys her presence! Like she doesn’t care that some woman is following her around...! 

And now, you’re of course getting the feeling that they don’t want you there.

Cat ended up taking the passenger seat without a second thought, so it left you in the back, alone. 

Now leaving you to watch as they interacted with each other.

Ellie would turn back every so often; she wanted to try and include you in their conversation, but you genuinely didn’t understand half the shit they were talking about. It was all about work, specifically work in the farm department, so for half the car ride you were just sitting there awkwardly! You already weren’t excited to be in a car with Ellie, but now you’re in a car with Ellie and some woman you’ve never fucking communicated with. 

You tried your best to push down your judgment on Cat; as the car ride went on, you figured that she seemed nice enough.?

She made Ellie laugh a lot. 

It reminded you a lot of how the two of you sounded before everything went down, and now you’re wondering if you had never freaked out on her that night, maybe that would be you in the front seat, making her laugh at stupid inside jokes. That feeling of reminiscing almost made this whole situation worse. It made you feel fucking sick to your stomach.

I mean anyone with a pair of eyes could see Ellie was equally as interested in the girl, like she couldn’t get enough of her jokes and conversation; you haven’t seen Ellie like that in a while.

And then the muffled sound of Cat's voice shatters through your train of thought, “So…how old are you?” Cat turns around in the passenger seat, eyes locking with yours. 

You pause, your eyes moving back and forth between her pair... “W-what?” You look at your hands nervously, shifting them back up at her as you finish your sentence. You couldn’t understand why you found this woman so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact she asked you a question as you were staring off into space. 

Or maybe how she’s had Ellie’s attention almost the whole drive...!

Cat just simply chuckles and looks at you, her dark eyes looking at your confused face, “Just asked how old you were?” She looks at Ellie and sorta laughs. Ellie's eyes shift to look at her, eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiles, cheeks noticeably turning pink before her gaze focuses back on the road. 

You look at the two of them and fight the urge to roll your eyes. It’s getting a bit theatrical at this point; no way looking at someone has Ellie's cheeks turning fucking pink. “I’m 18.” You look at Cat, clearing your throat in the process. “You?”

She smiles as she directs her attention back at Ellie. “Shit, Williams, didn’t realize you hung around 18 year olds?” She’s obviously kidding; you’re not stupid; you can tell she’s making a joke, but it was fucking dumb; Ellie was 19 for fuck's sake! “Shut up, man.” Ellie chuckles and looks at Cat for a solid second, eyes swiftly moving back to the road.

Cat talks and smiles, “I’m 21.” She chuckles, replying to your unanswered question. You watch as she looks straight back at Ellie. It’s like they couldn’t pull their eyes away from each other.

And you can’t get over how different Ellie’s acting is, like she’s trying to put on a show for some audience. However, the only audience is some chick. Like she’s throwing on some cool facade? It’s weird to say the least; Ellie never acts like this, at least she never acted like this when she was around you.

It makes you want to leave the car. Getting increasingly uncomfortable in the small atmosphere, you feel like they don’t want you there. Plus, the small comment on your age made you embarrassed. 

You just reply to Cat with a simple nod.

And it’s like your prayers are answered because the car finally parks in front of the store. You immediately unbuckle your seatbelt and open the trunk door to get out. 

And you’re starting to think maybe you were wrong; maybe Ellie was still mad. And sure, she had the right to be? But fuck, you were just in serious need of your friendship going back to normal; you hated being whatever this was. 

The worst sting so far was the fact Ellie didn’t even hesitate to open Cat's door for her, in the meantime practically ignoring you. You observe the two of them for a few seconds, neither of them even paying mind that you were in fact also in the car. 

You awkwardly watch as Cat tilts her head at Ellie, batting her eyelashes at her, as if she is starving for some sort of reaction. And a reaction she gets, because almost instantaneously, Ellie's cheeks stain a light pink. Cats hand now trailing her forearm, of course where her tattoo is. 

You’re grateful for the open surroundings of the parking lot. It genuinely made leaving them and walking straight to the grocery store easy, you having zero intent to wait up for them. 

As you were looking for your items, your head kept glancing at the list your father provided; you tried to distract yourself with literally anything. The sounds, the environment, anything that now surrounds you, and unfortunately nothing fucking worked; it’s like you could get your mind off of stupid Ellie. 

And it was ludicrous, outlandish even. She could even lock eyes with you for more than 30 seconds, yet you’re over here in a grocery store fully ready to cry, a familiar burn in your throat appearing. 

Ellie's soft voice has your train of thought snap, “So? What are we looking for exactly? She asks, green eyes on you as she smiles softly. You look around; you see Cat not too far away; she’s fully distracted talking to a worker; your best guess is her trying to find something.

You stare at Ellie for a few seconds, your hand moving itself as you hand her the list, intentionally trying to avoid making conversation with her. Ellie watches as you conveniently ignore her presence, in the sense that you won’t talk to her. That simple action makes her frown. 

“You alright?” She mumbles, awkwardly clearing her throat as her eyes don’t peel away from your figure. You look back at her, eyes finally locking as you nod. “I’m fine.” You say, your voice strong with the tone of confidence. It’s almost like you’re not only trying to convince Ellie there’s nothing wrong, but also yourself. 

You grab a few items from the list, pulling your eyes away from her, actively trying to distract yourself, way better than focusing on how Ellie’s shoulders deflate, catching the fact that you lied to her face.

Her eyes go soft, nodding softly at your response, hands trailing into her pockets. 

She doesn’t even understand; are you mad at her? Because that’s all she’s thinking, her mind is racing, trying to come up with any explanation as to why you suddenly seem annoyed by her. And just as she was about to talk, completely prepared to ask you once again if you were actually okay, Cat walked over in queue, her hand moving straight to Ellie’s shoulder. “You guys okay?” She asks softly; it seems like a general question directed to the both of you. But you see how her dark eyes trail to only focus on the auburn-haired girl. It’s clear to see Cat doesn’t actually care about what you're currently feeling. Clearly just trying to be polite. 

Ellie looks at you rather than Cat; her eyes are trying their best to read you, and for once she doesn’t care how she has Cat's arms on her. Ellie’s gaze lingers on you for an excessive amount of time; she notices how Cat's arms tighten slightly; however, to Ellie, it feels like nothing else at this moment matters. Her eyes are pleading with you, begging for you to break down this newly built wall. It makes the air feel heavy.

You both feel it...

You pause and clear your throat, picking up one of the final items you need. “I’m fine.” You spit out, your eyes shifting towards Cats; you again have to force yourself to look away from Ellie’s green irises. Because once again you noticed that desperate look in her eyes, trying to understand what she might have done to upset you. 

It never wavers either, even after you left the grocery store, all three of you getting in Ellie’s truck, journeying back to your dad's place. Her newfound concern has your chest tighten. The car ride back has a huge shift, everyone in the car growing more quiet than usual; you avoid talking as best as you can, eyes constantly glancing to your hands. 

It didn’t feel extremely long, the car pulling into the driveway shortly after you zoned out. It felt almost like your body moved itself, unbuckling yourself from the seatbelt, opening the car door to land on the ground, the soft crunch of the gravel falling under each pair of feet. The familiar sight of your dad's home offered some comfort, especially after being in a car with Ellie and Cat for so fucking long.

You were the first to enter your dad's home, creating some much-needed space between the pair. As you drag your feet through the home, you hear the sound of Ellie and Cat talking. You also catch the exhausted sigh Ellie lets out, and as you turn back, you see Cat leaning over into Ellie, brushing over her arm as she mumbles an incoherent sentence. 

You don’t stop to listen; instead, you continue with the grocery bags in your hand, and you try your best to pretend the tightening in your chest doesn’t increase. Instead, distract your mind by joining Joel and your father outside on the porch. 

Your dad quickly notices you walking outside and quickly smiles, stopping his conversation with Joel. “Took you long enough, kid.” He jokes a chuckle leaving his mouth. You see Joel snicker, a beer resting in his hands. You just roll your eyes, talking softly. “Yeah, well next time—“ you push the grocery bags in his chest, “you can get it yourself!” 

Your dad jokingly puts up his hands defensively; you look at him for a few seconds, mouth open, as you are about to talk. Yet the sound of the door sliding open caught your attention, your own eyes now peering behind you.

By the time Ellie and Cat join, you hear their chattering, well…mainly just Cat's! You see Ellie positioned right behind her, her green eyes flickering towards you, now desperately trying to catch her gaze. You notice it, and you ignore it, turning around to look right back at your dad.

Ellie sighs. She stops for a few seconds; it’s hard to understand what the fuck is wrong when you refuse to even talk to her. And in that moment she hesitantly turns towards Cat, her voice soft as she speaks. “Shit—I think I left my keys on the counter. Do you mind?” Ellie says, eyes partially on Cat, and in a swift motion flicking back towards you. 

Cat nods; from your position, you can’t hear what she says, but soon enough the door is sliding open, closing only a few seconds after. 

Ellie lingers at the doorway for a few seconds; she’s currently trying to psych herself up. She didn’t get why she still cared so much about your interpretation of her; you guys are just good friends. She knows that now. And plus, she has Cat, someone who she’s 90% sure likes her. 

Regardless, nerves get the better of her, so she’s currently standing awkwardly with her hands stuffed into her pockets; it probably doesn’t help that her gaze is literally burning into your figure, only making her even more fucking nervous. She clears her throat and murmurs a short “Fuck“ feet now moving towards you, the porch creaking with each step. 

“Hey...!” She taps your shoulder lightly, her voice soft and careful. As you turn around, she watches as your gaze lingers on her face, not uttering a word. And that’s what sends Ellie into a state of panic; it was dramatic, sure, but you being completely silent makes Ellie’s heart increase in pace, that leading her to speak once again. “Are you alright? You just seem— She stops as soon as she sees a long sigh leave your lips, eyes closing as if you are exhausted.

It takes you a few seconds to push some words out of your mouth, and as you do, your voice takes a tired tone. “Why do you keep asking me that, Ellie? I'm fine.” It comes out a tad bit harsher than intended, and you watch as her face shifts, starting to materialize with a sad frown. She just awkwardly clears her throat, her hand coming to rub the back of her neck. “I don’t—I don’t know?” She stutters, her voice wavering; she's starting to wonder why she constantly bothers; it’s so clear you don’t fucking need to be checked up on. She doesn’t understand why she can’t get that easy information through her head. 

“I’m—I’m sorry... but I'm fine?” You look at her, your voice now soft as you softly reassure her, both of you looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds. For those few seconds, it feels like it used to. Ellie’s green eyes shining in the sun. You always liked how they looked, something you've never thought to even tell her, and maybe if it was like it was before, you would tell her.

You notice how her eyes are bouncing back and forth between your pair; she clears her throat out of nervousness, looking down as she says her next sentence. “Like, are you mad at me or something?” She asks, instantly awaiting an answer once it leaves her lips. 

You pause for a few seconds; your initial response is to completely deny it, because truthfully you’re not mad at Ellie…You don’t think you are? And shockingly, a large part of you wants to tell her the truth. But the fact that those words feel like they’re burning in your throat makes you second-guess that decision. In all honesty, it feels like you’ve hardly even accepted it yourself; you are sure you like Ellie, but admitting that out loud—no way...

You’re about to talk, taking a long, deep breath, eyes searching for hers. You want to try your best to lay it all out. Maybe give her a watered-down version of your feelings; that way it may not feel as scary. It’s simple enough to say the night in your bedroom meant something, where you laid your head on her chest, falling asleep in each other's arms. That doesn’t necessarily mean you like her? It just means that maybe that night didn’t need to be deemed as some mistake. 

“Ellie—“ 

As you attempt to speak, the sound of the door sliding catches both of your attention. The dark-eyed girl comes outside, her body moving straight towards Ellie, arm instantly looping around hers. She didn’t even stop to acknowledge the fact that you were just talking, and without a second thought, she spoke. “Couldn’t find your keys on the counter, sorry Els…” 

However, Ellie's gaze never leaves your face, and without delay, Cat notices. She sees how it falls on you, like the auburn-haired girl can’t pull her eyes away from you. And it’s like Cat noticing that; it only made her hold onto Ellie tighter, her hand trailing back and forth on Ellie’s forearm. Like she’s looking for a reaction. And although you feel one, you don’t let it show on your face, leaving it carefully neutral; it wasn’t as hard as you thought to act like you hadn't even noticed.

You see how Cat shifts slightly, a soft smile present on her face; it’s subtle, and it makes you wonder what she’s even trying to convey, and you know that this smile isn’t the result of holding Ellie. You see how she's staring right at you! And it makes you confused, because someone who seemed nice in the beginning is now seeming like a burden to have around, and sure she’s Ellie’s…friend, but it appears like she’s doing it on purpose. Intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable! 

And although it seemed obvious to you, Ellie, on the other hand, is completely oblivious. Or at least she's pretending to be; her eyes are still locked on you with an inexplicable amount of intensity, like she’s still awaiting your answer to her question. You watch as her lips part, as if she’s about to talk. You even believe she might, yet not even a second later her lips close and she turns, her green eyes now looking straight at Cat. “Ahh…okay, I think I may have just misplaced them.” Ellie smiles sweetly, clears her throat, and continues. “Sorry for making you look.”

Cat shakes her head and smiles. “It’s not a problem.”

And that’s how it often went. Two quickly became three. If Ellie was at your dad's place, so was Cat. Like they were connected, interlinked in a way. 

And to say it was awkward, that’d easily be putting it lightly. You felt like an unintentional third wheel constantly...! You watched as Cat made it a point to only talk to Ellie, regardless of whether she was in your space! It was comical really; you could be in your bedroom with the pair, and somehow, the conversation would always revolve completely around Ellie. It was as if you were invisible, or maybe some convenient backdrop to their little inside jokes. 

And as always, that's what was happening tonight. 

You would watch as Cat's eyes would always occasionally flicker towards you, as if she was making sure you were still watching as they bonded together; you’d also watch as they would immediately move back to Ellie, like some magnetic connection. Maybe it was dramatic, but even sitting in your small room, it felt like you were miles apart from them. Like you couldn’t break into their invisible thread that seemed to entrap them. 

And it wasn’t even like you wanted to be the centre of attention. It wasn't even about that…? But it was so hard not to notice how they were always talking, and you were just there; it felt like the hangouts were pointless. It was difficult to act like it wasn’t a big deal. And you knew that they were friends after all. You haven't seen them do anything other than light touches, which were always initiated by Cat. And you knew their closeness was not something to be threatened by; plus, Cat left in a few days anyway, her week with Joel quickly coming to an end. 

But knowing that made you sad, and not because of Cat; you were sad because you knew you were shortly after. After she was gone, you had less than a month to spend at your dad's house, and not dwelling on that became an impossible task. 

“Do you mind grabbing the drinks from Ellie's truck?” Cat says cutting off your train of thought. You stay silent for a few seconds, not only out of habit, but you weren’t even sure if she was talking to you; it takes Ellie’s eyes flicking towards you to understand that it was indeed a question directed at you. Your silence is what makes Cat chuckle, heat rising to your cheeks without missing a second. 

“Right...” you mutter, the words barely escaping your lips as you swing your legs over your bed. Cat is already turning her head, presumably to go straight back to meet Ellie's eyes, ready to spike up more conversation. It makes you sigh softly, your legs feeling heavy as you attempt to start moving forward. All you really want to do is leave your bedroom; being in a space with Ellie and Cat is starting to feel suffocating. The task already felt hard enough; your movements haltered and slow, it only got worse as Ellie stood abruptly, standing in front of you, which ends up blocking your path.

You look at her for a few seconds, your mannerisms expressing your clear confusion. Ellie's eyes are staring intensely at you, every so often looking back and forth between you and Cat, Cat's body still sitting on the floor. Ellie's silence comes to an end as she manages to spit out a stuttered sentence: “N-need a hand?” 

Cat's face immediately drops as Ellie talks, silently trying to express her distaste through her eyes; luckily, it doesn't work. Ellie doesn’t even notice Cat's dark eyes on her; all she can focus on is the girl in front of her, the girl who is you. When Ellie looks at you, she suddenly understands why your opinion of her still mattered so much. It’s hard to lose those feelings immediately, even after how persistent she was to lock them away.

Her gaze makes you nervous, eyes trailing to your bedroom door behind Ellie. You pause for a few seconds before attempting to break past her figure, all while forgetting there was still a girl on your floor, actively watching the both of you. Your voice comes out short as you move hastily, “I—I’m fine, Ellie. Thank you, though.”

Ellie quickly shakes her head, cutting you off as she makes eye contact with you once again. “No, no, I don’t mind. The cases are heavy, so...! She says awkwardly as she opens your bedroom door, and Ellie watches as you walk out of your bedroom door; it was clear that Ellie wasn't taking no for an answer. 

You turn around, watching as Ellie mumbles something to Cat. Cats face expressing nothing but a sour expression, she seems mad at Ellie, or maybe even you. Regardless, it doesn’t take long before Ellie leaves Cat alone in your bedroom; a part of you wants to feel bad, but then again, Cat clearly didn’t when she left you out of conversations. 

Ellie is quiet as she walks down the creaky stairs of your dad's house. Truthfully, both of you were doing your best to keep quiet; maybe it was out of awkwardness. 

She is trailing behind you, keys jiggling as she grabs them out of her pocket. And finally she talks, breaking that wall of tension both of you previously had up. “Cat leaves in 2 days, you know?” Ellie says softly, opening the door as you both trail outside. She unlocks her car, quickly grabbing a case of alcohol that Cat purchased.

“Yeah, but who's counting?” You joke, your eyes locking with Ellie's. Your manner has both of you ease up, stepping into territory that felt like how it was before that night. You watch as Ellie's lips curl into a soft smile, a chuckle leaving her lips as her eyes light up slightly. 

You instantly let out a soft sigh of relief; you weren't sure if she was going to laugh at your words. Both of you have been stale, so that little chuckle felt like endless confirmation that maybe it wasn’t doomed, your friendship that is. 

“I was just lettin’ you know!” She says, pausing as she thinks of her next words carefully. Her own mind drifting away from the woman who is still inside waiting for the both of you to return. “There’s a lake you know...?” A quaver in her voice as if she's nervous. 

You glance at her for a few seconds; you’re curious, maybe even a little intrigued. “A lake?” You dampen, eyebrow raising at her words. “Like…a secret one, or one I just didn’t know about.” The pause between the two of you lingers; it almost feels like Ellie’s opening up again, like the doors you were sure you sealed shut are starting to be pushed open, like those cracks are becoming visible once again. You both feel it. 

“How many lakes do you know about?” Ellie tilts her head, a grin on her face as if she's challenging you. Her words make you laugh as you shrug, your voice coming out light as you stare at each other. “I don't know—just what's so cool about this lake?”

“I don’t know; it’s quiet. Peaceful, if you will?” Ellie talks, a stupid smirk on her face as she says the last four words, eyes flickering down to the case of alcohol, promptly being held up in her two hands. “I mean, it’s a little out of the way…” She continues, eyes moving back to you. “But literally no one ever goes there; we could check it out.” Ellie smiles as she looks at you, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Okay!”

Three days later you guys do end up going out to that same lake Ellie mentioned. 

You found yourself sitting in Ellie's passenger seat of her truck; you genuinely couldn’t remember the last time it was just the two of you in this car, not being forced upon awkward circumstances. Granted, it wasn’t like it wasn’t awkward; the two of you didn’t really know what to talk about. Even so, the soft hum of the engine and the cracking of the radio filled the unwanted silence, which was nice. 

Cat being gone also felt like a breath of fresh air, the weight lifting off the space of you and Ellie. You really didn't realize how heavy the tension had been until it was gone; she was gone. Cat’s presence did always seem to hover, like she was lingering in a possessive sense. Her gestures always being small yet noticeable. Her hands always finding excuses to be on Ellie's skin, the way she would always inch closer during conversations, she would constantly try to claim attention in ways that made you feel left out, regardless of being the person who had been there first. 

The sound of Ellie's car pulling over to the side caught your attention, quickly snapping you out of your long train of thought. The tires were slowly crunching as they came to a stop; her car was now idling, sitting on a dirt patch beside the water. The lake stretches out before you; it was calm and still, the trees on the far side reflecting on the water. It felt like a place that demanded a slow breath, almost like it could wash away everything if you let it. 

“Well...!” Ellie said as she killed the engine to her truck. She opened the door and hopped out of her truck; the dust below Ellie settled as she swung her legs out, planting them firmly on the ground. You watch as she makes her way to your side of the truck, hand reaching for the door as she opens it for you. That little moment had the air change for you. “This is it!” She almost sounded tentative, but there was a flicker of something else, something you hadn’t heard from Ellie in a while. Hope, maybe? Reminiscences of desire for normalcy, it’s something that has been missing between you two for so long.

“This is it!” You repeat, your eyes locked on her as you step out of her truck. “It’s beautiful.” You say eyes locked on the water as you take it all in. The shine of the stars was clearly reflecting on the water; it was all so pretty. 

Ellie stood next to you for a few seconds, quiet at first as she took in the sight in front of her. Slowly she turns her head, eyes locking with you. “It is, isn’t it?” She smiles, the shine of the moon illuminating her eyes. You watch as her eyes move off of you, missing the moment where your cheeks tint a light shade of pink. You’re almost grateful she missed it. 

Surely she’s doing this on purpose... That’s all you can think, the realization making your head spin. And you really couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment. Caught in the sincerity of her expression. Again, a look you haven’t seen in her in a while.

“So…” Ellie says, breaking the newfound tension, her voice a little louder as she says her next sentence, “Are we going swimming?” She spits out, her eyes fixated on the lake in front of the two of you. Her tone is almost casual, with no teasing edge to it.

“Swimming? Ellie I didn’t- you never even mentioned swimming. You spit out, eyes struck with clear confusion. 

Ellie shrugs, a smile present on her face, specifically forming in the middle of her face, framing at the corner of her mouth. “Um, it’s a lake? I sort of assumed you‘d get the memo." She laughs softly.

You glance from the water to Ellie; you try to process her words. Sure, the offer seems inviting; the lake is calm and clear, but it’s not like you brought a bathing suit, plus the idea of jumping in freezing cold water was unsurprisingly uninviting. 

“Hold on?!” You raise your hand; despite the raised voice, your tone is not serious, a clear smile written all over your face. “You came here to what?- swim? After all that talk about it being peaceful and quiet?” You look at her with an amused expression; you have to force yourself not to laugh at her. “Plus it’s almost midnight, not exactly ‘perfect’ swimming weather.”

Ellie smiles and shakes her head proudly, her legs moving fast as she gets to the edge of the water. “It’s perfect swimming weather if you ask me!” 

“Turn around!” Ellie says hesitantly, her voice strong with undertones of embarrassment. Voice going soft and quiet. Bashful even.

“Why?” You ask, your voice instantly betraying your confusion. 

Ellie’s gaze flickers to the side, avoiding yours for a moment, before she groans in frustration. “Just! Turn around!” 

Your movements grow slow as you process her words, still not entirely sure as to what she's up to. Your eyes flicker to Ellie as she shifts her weight from one foot to another, clearly anxious. Those mannerisms make you fold, so you listen, turning around slowly. 

After a few moments you hear the sound of fabric rustling, followed by the sound of a heavy drop hitting the ground. And suddenly you feel frozen. 

Your heart genuinely feels like it stops for a few moments, completely caught off guard. Your brain is trying to process the fact that Ellie seems to be getting out of her clothes right behind you. 

You hear the soft sound of splashes not coming too long after her clothes hitting the ground, and finally Ellie speaks once again. “Alright! Turn around!” Her voice is also a little shaky, leading you to take it as she’s nervous too; that factor makes you feel better. A breath of relief leaving your system.

You try to steady yourself, now breathing slowly, as you move your body at sloth speed to turn around and see Ellie. 

You’re silently thanking the fact it’s night, the dark sky acting as a blanket over everything, the stars twinkling above, making you feel like they’re also watching this scene unfold. Soon enough you see Ellie swim closer into shore. “Okay, your turn!” Ellie shouts, looking at you, her sentence leaving you awkwardly standing. “What?!” You laugh out, No way. No way you're doing all this shit in front of Ellie. 

“The water feels amazing!” She yells out, splashing around with her arms as if she’s trying to prove her point. At the same time trying to calm her own nerves!

You stare at her for a few seconds. “You’re insane.” You laugh softly, your heart rate now starting to calm down. The idea of being in front of Ellie with nothing but underwear and a bra seems terrible, far too vulnerable. 

Ellie thinks for a few seconds, going quiet. “Look!” Ellie shouts, her figure now standing up in the water. You watch as she visibly turns around, as if she’s trying not to make this feel as weird as it does. And you do hesitate, eyes moving to the water below then to the starry night. 

“It’s nice in the water, I promise!” Ellie says softly, a smile evident in her tone. 

You look at her figure from behind, your heart picking back up again as you move your hands to the hem of your shirt. Hands moving above your head as you strip yourself of your t-shirt. The cool air hits your skin, and you feel the need to put back on your shirt, but you don't; you suck it up.

Your hands then move to your shorts, fingers accidentally fumbling with the buttons. The silence between you two is deafening, both under a silent understanding that maybe this moment deserves quietness. And in all honesty, when Ellie heard your clothes falling behind her, her thoughts ended up freezing anyway!

Not too long after ranting about how going in the water was insane, you're now just in your bra and underwear, hesitantly moving to the edge of the shore as you let your legs get covered with the cool water. It is cold but refreshing. 

“Can I turn around now?” Ellie questions, her voice soft as she breaks through the water's gentle movement. It’s softer than before, almost hesitant. The sound of Ellie's small movements almost sounds as loud as your heartbeat, which is saying a lot. 

“Mhm.” You mumble out, body still adjusting to the cool water. It’s up to your chest now, the lake pulling you deeper with each step. Yet it’s not just the water pulling you closer; maybe it’s something else. Like the way Ellie's voice sounds, a little more open, vulnerable, something you again haven't heard in so long before this night. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re both finally here, now in the same space together, the quiet acknowledgment that in this moment, you are both standing on the same ground. 

You glance over at her and really see her, in one of her most vulnerable forms, the same way she’s currently seeing you. The moon reflecting on both of your wet skin. You see as Ellie's eyes are fixated on you, the same amount of intensity yours are holding. There are no walls, no playful manner; it’s just really the two of you, laid out on a hypothetical table for each other to see. It makes your breath hitch.

You don’t even realize it immediately, but the initial space the two of you had eventually started to fade. The steady rhythm of your breathing, everything is unspoken yet clear; you both have crossed the line. 

And maybe it’s the lack of words that's encouraged Ellie to make her next move; there's a clear absence in her thought process, but can you blame her? The way you were looking at her, eyes locked on each other. It all came together to make her incredibly delirious. 

Her body shifts with a small wave of a movement. Her gaze never leaving yours, both of your eyes locked together. It almost seems like she's waiting for something, waiting for you. It’s silent, yet you both know what is playing out, and suddenly kissing a girl doesn’t seem as scary as before.

Ellie doesn’t even wait for permission; she doesn't have to. Her hand reaches out to touch your cheek, the other hand moving to graze your arm. You feel her calloused fingers. Her touch is light but unmistakably deliberate. She doesn’t pull away, and neither do you. It’s a simple connection but electric. 

And without thinking too deeply into it, Ellie closes the gap.

A/N -> after MONTHS part 3 is finally out!!!

I am SO sorry for everyone who I kept waiting, i’ve been on the other side of this and I completely understand how annoying it is to wait for someone to continue their series!

I swear life just got insane and I’ve been so so so busy, not the mention the crazy writes block I was going through!

I will make sure the next part doesn’t take as long as this one, yet i’m not sure how quick i’ll be getting it out.

( I have school, work, and sooo much more so I apologize in advance! )

Ily you all soooo much and thank you for understanding!

(likes and reblogs are always appreciated)

taglist: @diddiqueen @bready101 @mcqueeferson (can’t tag some ppl!)

[laughtalelogs]

❄love to keep me warm- nami x reader❄

❄ day 3 - accelerated heartbeat, kissing in the snow, “here, take my coat.” ❄fandom/character(s) - one piece - nami x reader ❄warnings - no beta reader, no warnings- just fluff, fem!reader - gendered language used once I believe ❄word count: 1.5k

❄ description - nami comes to your rescue, albeit unconventionally. The cold has a remarkable way of bringing people closer.

this one was really fun to write! ig you could call it a songfic for this laufey and dodie cover, I really recommend you listen while reading! shout out to my fellow gays, the nami market is dry asf :(

tomorrow is the lovely nico robin, and it'll be the first christmas themed one on the list!

check out the rest of the days here

“What’s taking all day?” Nami barks from outside the door, as you scrounge through piles of clothes beside your bed. It was an endless sea of cotton and poly-blends. Your red winter coat nowhere in sight. 

“Treasure isn’t going to find itself, ya’know!” Her voice booms again. The anxiety of letting Nami down gnaws at your stomach.

Fuck. She was going to kill you if you took any longer.

You sighed, collapsing helplessly on the pile. It was always like this for you. Docking would creep up on you, and your ill-preparedness always left you lagging behind in the pack. Of course, your coat would magically disappear when you were about to dock on a winter island. 

Typical. 

You hear your name screamed, and a chill runs through your spine. You could feel the clock ticking; it would be only moments before she took the matter into her own hands. You scan your bed, seeing a glow of orange peek out from the mess of clothes. You quickly grab the sweater, shoving your head through the hole as you run out the door.

“Here, sorry, I-I’m ready.” You say through short breaths, finding the rest of the crew has already made their way off the boat. That left your Navigator, a scowl adorning her angelic face. She donned a beautiful pink puffer coat that fell at her knees. You notice how it matched the soft rose that dusted her face.

 She puffs her cheeks out, hand on her hip. She onced you over, squinting as she inspected your frumpy, thin clothes. 

 “Nice sweater.” She nods, eyebrows raised.

“Oh.” You stare down at the shirt and your face twists in embarrassment. You had definitely seen Nami wearing this two weeks ago. It must have ended up in the monster pile by your bed. “I guess I owe you for this?” 

Nami shakes her head, shoving her hands in her pockets, searching for heat in the coat. It was pretty cold. The more you stood there with her, you felt the heat of the room leaving your body. 

“Is that all you’re wearing?”

“Eh, I’ll be fine.” You shrugged, rubbing your arm to quell the frigid chill from the winter breeze. You tugthe wrinkled sweater over your butt.  

Her eyebrows furrow as she pouted, not convinced. She goes to protest, but you don’t let her. 

“I won’t have time to be cold if we run!” You grabbed her wrist, tugging her towards the ladder. But you miss the way her face flushes red, silently following your lead. 

-

You were not fine. Your skin and lungs burned from the biting air, slicing its way through your body. With each step, you felt like you were going to freeze in place.  All of you had split up to search in the snow for the promised treasure on the island, with no luck. 

As more time passed, you were convinced people were sent here to die in the cold- much like it felt like you were doing.  You tried to keep morale high, but it was a harrowing feat through each chatter of your teeth. 

“Hey.” You hear Nami call behind you. You turn and see her running to you, her hair like a rare flower in the sea of white.  “You alright?”

“Remind me that I hate snow next time.” You say, as she reaches to dust your shoulders off, fingers lingering on your collar. You watch her face soften, pressing the back of her hand to your cold cheek. It’s surprisingly warm, and soothes your raw skin.

Her touch was gentle. It was enough to melt your numb body, heat rising to the surface where her finger traced your jaw. You try to stop trembling, but she quells more out with each touch. She bites her lip in worry, and you look up to the sky to avoid staring. “What happened to running, then?”

You give her an exasperated look that makes her smile at you, playfulness in her eyes. You sneeze, and worry is back in her face. She sighed, pulling away as she reached for the zipper of her coat. 

“Here. Take my coat.” Nami says, and with no hesitation, she began to shed the pink coat.

It was a simple gesture, one of concern and genuine care. Your skin prickles down your back at the thought, but worry crawls to the forefront of your mind. Your frozen fingers grab her hand, stopping her actions. She looks at you with shocked, wide eyes.

“No,” You say, laced in mirror concern as if you weren’t far away from freezing to death. “then you’ll be cold.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” She rolled her eyes, but her darting eyes and flushed skin betrayed her,  “I’ll be colder if I have to drag your frozen body around the island.” “What is it going to cost…?” You ask, and her eyes flash in something unreadable, a gentle look as she drops your hand. 

“Come on, why would I charge you?” She shifts her feet in the snow nervously, and you double over in laughter, voice trembling in the chill.  Why wouldn’t she? 

“Maybe we could share?” You offer a soft and shy smile. She returns it tenfold. 

-

You both awkwardly share the jacket, and it threatens to slip every time you both take a step. It isn’t working at all, but you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. With each fumble, your arms brushed together, hands daring to tangle into hers. Nami’s coat draped over your shoulders, you try to resist the urge to bury your nose in the sweet scent of her rubbing off onto you. 

You peek at Nami from the corner of your eyes, enjoying the shade of ruddy peach that covers her face, and turn away when she looks at you. You both make an effort with each step to keep in time. The trek silent as you both try to look for any signs of treasure, but it was proving hard to think when your body felt like it was on fire. 

You both take a break, breathing heavily, and annoyed but unwilling to give in. Maybe you weren't the only person enjoying yourself, as you turn to catch another look at the woman. You were about to ask her something, when a voice in the distance cuts you off.

“Oh, Ladies!”

Nami’s content smile immediately dropped, scowling as the lovesick cook made his way over to you both. 

“Are you two okay? I had been looking for you both.” Sanji wrings his hands nervously. The cook offers a cheery smile, worry coating his voice. You and Nami exchange wary gazes.  

“Did you need a coat?” Sanji’s eyes flit between the both of you, as he began to shed his own. You feel Nami tense up beside you.  “I am plenty warm, you could have mine.” 

“She doesn't need anything. Leave us alone.” Nami blurted out, eyebrows furrowed in rage.  Sanji’s eyes flash with an array of emotions: hurt, confusion, and sudden realization, before flashing a knowing smile at the irked Nami.  

“…I’ll just go bother Marimo,” He turns on a sharp heel, waving a hand in the air. “Stay warm, you two...” 

And as swift as he came, Sanji’s gone again, leaving you both with your swimming thoughts.

Nami is hot to the touch as you lean into her, flustered by your closeness, that feels all too apparent, when realizing how intimately ridiculous the situation is. You are the first to laugh, and she hits your shoulder. 

“What’s so funny?!” she demands.

You shake your head, her hot hand brushing yours again. “Nothing, nothing, I’m just thinking about how I am going to pay back for your generosity.”

“A billion berries.” She smiled wickedly, but it didn't match the sincerity in her eyes.

You could play that game. “Come on, cut me a deal at least. Half off since we’re sharing?”

“And how would I profit off of that?” She giggled, pressing a hand to shove again, but it stayed, fiddling with the pilling of the knitted orange. You stare at her, speechless, your toes curling in at the tender caress.

Nami’s hums softly, her breath fanning your lips, sweet and minty. “I think I know a way you could pay me.”

Nami pulls the coat over both your heads, a small tent that leaves you both shielded from the onslaught of snow.  You reach for her hand, giving it a small squeeze, savoring the way it slots perfectly in yours. She pulls you in by the collar, and there you both stand. You breathe in each other's air for what feels like an eternity, taking in the shadows of each other's face.

Nami breaks the soothing silence first. “I bet…” 

“Bet what?” You ask, enjoying the twinkle in her eyes.

“That just like snow, you’ll melt on my tongue too.” She whispers across your lips, her voice smooth as wine.  Your knees feel weak.

With all the confidence you could muster, you surge forward, pressing nervous lips to hers to test the theory. Nami’s lips are impossibly soft, meshing into yours tenderly as they return the sweet kiss. You wonder if they were made for this, a perfect heater for the chill of winter.

You sink deeper, hands squeezing hers tightly, as if it would all disappear if you didn’t. She rubs her thumb on the back of your hand, as if to remind you she was, in fact, still there. 

Your heart is pounding in your ears, and you feel high off the swirling taste of her.

Her prediction was spot on. 

I love the idea of nami always arguing with their partner over chivalrous acts like they're constantly trying to one up each other AAAHHH I kept kicking my feet and screaming while writing this, im too gay to handle the idea-

like these? check out my other fics! (x)

[ooffmlsorry]

A/N: Not a request but @makemake22 stumbled across an idea I was already toying around with so kudos to them lol same brain cell moment ig! Plus I mentioned Miremo in this post (and might again) so I figured fuck it why not. So uh...I guess this is a "Law Bends the Rules for You" Part 2

Read Part 1

Law Bends the Rules for You Part 2

Y/N is definitely a pirate in the making.

When you said "cat," that's what Law was expecting. A cat is something small, mildly irritating at best, sometimes cute, and wouldn't get in the way because it's yours. What he got was not that. What you presented to him was donkey-sized creature resembling a grossly overgrown Maine Coon that could light parts of itself on fire at will.

That's not a cat.

He could plan around a cat.

But you were a package deal. If he wanted one on the crew he'd have to take both. And admittedly, when you said it was the only family you had left he just...he couldn't, okay? Law had excised the hearts of a 100 pirates, removed them from their bodies with cruel precision, but he didn't have the cruelty to separate you from the last piece of home you had.

He would kill or be killed to have one person left from his past.

Plus, you immediately gave him a piece of your mind for trying to leave it behind when you found out the Heart Pirate's own navigator was essentially a polar bear.

He should've known you'd be trouble from that alone. Yelling at him in front of his crew.

Now he was alone with it...her...Miremo. You and the rest of the crew were exploring an island. Even you weren't sure why Miremo stayed behind, but she wasn't interested despite being cooped up on the Polar Tang.

"That's really weird, I hope something didn't make her sick," you had said, pulling at the skin around your fingers until it peeled. A nervous tic Law noticed you had. "Could...could you just keep an eye on her? Please? There's some supplies I really need to get and I'd ask one of the others but..." You trailed off.

Law wanted to say no. He really did. It's not his damn cat, nor is it his family. Sure, if the thing was sick or injured he'd try his best, but he's not a vet. He's a doctor. A surgeon.

Did you think he had all the free time in the world to babysit your animal? He's the captain, he's a doctor. He's got stuff to do. And yet...when you asked, he said yes.

Now here he was, having taken his work to outside to the deck of the Polar Tang to keep an eye on Miremo while she lazed about in the sun. That was a little under an hour ago.

Ridiculous.

Law looked up when he heard the pat of paws slowly approaching him. "Do not light my papers on fire," he said.

Miremo stopped and sat just out of touching distance. True to her word, he guessed(??) the creature didn't light it on fire, but she did swipe her paw against it curiously.

"Y/N-ya uses paper all the time, you know what it is," he said sternly. "Stop touching it." Miremo kept pawing at it until she was able to lift one enough to get her paw under it. "Stop!"

Law snatched the paper and glared at the animal who looked back at him with a neutral expression.

"Room!"

A small blue bubble enveloped them. Miremo stood up immediately, ears flat against her skull and teeth bared. It was hard not to focus the terrifying length of her fangs.

They glared each other down. "Don't make me..." Law warned. Miremo lowered herself as if ready to pounce.

Somewhere in Law's head he could almost hear your voice: Please keep an eye on her. Y/N would kill him...or at least try to. Your punches nor your sniper skills were a joke.

He sighed and let the bubble flicker into nothing. "No more messing with my work, understand?"

How does she manage this thing? Law marveled. Or get anything done for that matter.

Miremo relaxed slowly. She sat and licked her paw before scrubbing her ear and blinking at him curiously. Otherwise, she was still. "Good...kitty?" Law tried the phrase out, he heard you say it to her often. He grimaced, the words feeling strange in his mouth, and went back to work.

He got twenty minutes of peace before Miremo kept closer, slowly. Law looked up to make sure he wasn't about to get eaten or scorched then tried his best to ignore her.

And then a heavy paw knocked his shoulder. He sighed, "what?"

He was surprised to have Miremo nuzzle against his shoulder. Was she purring? "What? What did I do?"

Puzzled, that would be a word to describe Law. Utterly puzzled the the cat rubbed around him and purred. "Okay..." Miremo's fur was soft and warm like Bepo's but much longer. She smelled like embers and the soft scent of you. Law ran his fingers through it and scratched between her ears.

A soft smile spread on his lips, his work somewhat forgotten. How often did he get to pet a fire cat? "Clearly you're not sick or injured."

She purred more in response and settled down next to him. Shortly after she shut her eyes and slept.

LATER

"Captain! You didn't have to sit outside with her!" Your eyes glowed with appreciation. Truly, you would've been happy if he glanced at her a few times while you were gone.

You couldn't believe he'd moved all his stuff outside just to look after Miremo. It made your heart warm and something flutter in your stomach.

He had moved his books and journal back in to his office with your help. You insisted on it, which only made Shachi and Penguin snicker. He was decidedly not going to read into that. His friends are idiots, that's all.

"I did as you asked, don't read into it," Law said. "And don't expect me to keep doing it."

Except this was the third time I've done as you asked, he thought. The idea that he wouldn't be able to stop scared him.

You didn't notice Law's internal battle, just grateful that he had helped you even if it put him in a sour mood. "Well." You reached into your bag. "I figured you hadn't had lunch by now so..."

You placed the wrapped rice ball on his desk. "It's a thank you," you said, trying to convey how sincere you were, "and payment. I really appreciated it, Law, really."

"Sure. You're welcome, Y/N-ya."

With that you left to finish sorting out the items you bought. Miremo followed you out of Law's office looking pleased.

[channoticedmeuwu]

IMAGINING. . . SOOBIN W TATTOOS !!

p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — suggestive asfff, slight fluff, s2l!au kinda, | w — sexual tension type like a lot, pool scene, mentions of reader wearing revealing clothing (again it's literally a pool scene), mention of cigs somewhere + not really proofread

A/N — based on a thirst trap I saw on ig you have me on chokehold for the rest of the month <3 idc if the concept doesn't fit I needed it.

🖇️ READ PART TWO HERE !!

PARTIALLY INSPIRED BY ARIANA GRANDE'S “BREAK UP W/ YOUR GIRLFRIEND” MV & SONG

you've been friends with soobin for quite some time now— you kicked it off at a cafe when your friend wanted to meet up after coming back to town. she had a few other friends there with her, choi soobin being one of them. “dude, you have to meet soobin,” you recalled your friend telling you, that you he was this fun guy with a great fashion sense, and you'd just brushed her aside, not paying too much attention.

but now, you kind of wished you did. soobin wasn't anything like you imagined. you probably pictured an average looking guy with a personality that reached depths, maybe wore a few fashionable pieces here and there. but you didn't expect him to have wear the simplest outfits, and yet look like— well, the way he did.

you eyed him in a white t shirt covering all of his arms, the thin material subtilty revealing dark outlines on his skin, a delicate pendant around his neck and fluffy hair brushed aside to make room for his glasses. and when he smiled at a joke your friend made...shit. he was kind of cute.

and soobin made his efforts to talk to you, but you couldn't help but focus on his body language— his fingers gripping his forearm, his jacket riding down to show a few tattoos on his shoulder— and you'd mask a smile at him when you'd hear him repeat a question he asked you earlier, trying not to focus on the way his hand rested on his thigh.

and you'd see soobin when your friends hung out often— usually sitting in one of the corners of the table where you could observe everyone talk, and then driving people home in his car. but, despite his appearance, soobin was a sweet fucking guy. always offering you a napkin at dinner or lending you his jacket on a particularly windy night.

and everytime he stretched while he silently watched everyone talk at the table, you noticed there was something scribbled on his soft skin underneath his full sleeve shirt. and he'd catch you staring sometimes, his bangs falling over his eyes as he bent over to tap you on your knee, asking with a small smile if you're lost in thought.

so maybe, soobin had been growing on you. just a bit.

and the night you left a party after arguing with your ex about how you don't want to “try again,” some back and forth between bittersweet, blaring music & heated expressions flashing through shifting lights— your relationship had come to an end as abruptly as it had started, and you intended to keep it that way. refusing with a harsh pull, you rubbed your bare arms as you walked away, sliding between sweaty bodies in the tight room.

and you remember taking a seat outside, trying to wrap yourself in a shawl as cold wind nipped at your bare legs, muttering curses to your ex. the uncomfortably irritating sound of a couple making out in the corner was making your headache worse, as blaring music from inside muffled with the blowing wind.

you glanced down at your phone, knowing it'll offer you better entertainment than whatever was inside, when you saw a couple of texts from soobin a few hours ago.

SOOBIN

[11:12 pm] hey, y/n, how's the party?

how was the party? you scoffed to yourself, cigarette smoke wafting around in the air as you twiddled your thumbs hovering above the keyboard, trying to think of a response— when you reached over and pressed the call button, not really expecting him to pick up. “hey, soobin. I know it's super late, but can you pick me up?”

and soobin's response was a bit delayed, as if he was shocked you called, but he replied with something that sounded in-between a ‘sure’ and a hum, his voice hoarse. “oh, soobin. did I wake you up?”

“no, no. I was wide awake,” then you heard him yawn. your cheeks flushed as you tapped your foot to the ground, “sorry about that, soobin.”

he ignored your apology, mumbling at you to send him your location with another yawn. maybe you should have thought twice before calling him at nearly 4 in the night. but you didn't know that soobin was secretly over the moon at you calling him, he was just too sleepy to show it— every second he got, he had always picked to be your side. slowing down his pace to walk beside you, or discreetly allowing his fingers to brush against yours whenever he got a chance to, had his heart beating like crazy. you had his heart beating like crazy.

and when you finally sat in the passenger seat of soobin's car after a few more calls he made confirming your location— fuck.

you knew there was something suspicious about soobin always wearing a full sleeve shirt even in the hottest weather possible, but last thing you expected was him having an arm full of tattoos resting on the wheel, the other out the window. his designs slowly circled and disappeared behind the strap of his black tank top. and when your eyes trailed below towards his sleeping shorts, accidentally catching them riding up as he bent over to lower the aircon—

you snapped your eyes forward, feeling a blush settle on your cheeks. your fingers clutching the end of your shawl tightened.

and little did you know, soobin did it on purpose. he'd seen the way you looked at him, your eyes slyly (or not) slipping down to gaze at his arm flex when he scratched the back of his neck or readjusted his hair, a guilty, dark shift to your eyes when you'd notice his fingers on his thighs. and was it that bad to admit he liked it when he saw the expression on your face lightly change when you noticed a tattoo peeking out? you'd slowly press your legs together, a hand moving to hide your face as you'd look the other direction, trying to focus at the conversation everyone else was involved in. but he'd see you slowly default back to him, and everytime, he'd feel a tingle in his stomach when you'd lick your lips, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.

“how are you? how was the party?” he gave you a sleepy smile in the car, his eyes glazing over you. you looked towards him, pressing your lips together at the way his hair fluffed up, his hand rubbing his thigh as he leaned his head back to the headrest, revealing the shape of his jaw—“good. met my ex. not doing that again,” you nodded, earning a small chuckle from him.

and throughout the drive, you felt yourself slipping into sleep, accidentally focusing on your reflection in the windshield instead of the traffic. your eyelids closing, the soft bass of a summer song playing in the background, the fresh car scent wafting around you— before the car would jerk, shooting you awake. “sorry,” soobin would mumble, throwing you an apologetic look before he'd suggest you lay your seat back, allowing you to sleep in a more comfortable position. and you remember refusing, curling into a ball to sleep instead.

and occasionally, a speeding car would pass by an intersection, and soobin would lean his arm out to stop you from falling forward as the car came to a sudden stop, a serious expression on his face as he asked you, “you okay?” and the two of you would trail your eyes down to his hand on your bare thigh, hearts skipping beats. and he'd snap his hand back, apologizing and trying to clear his intentions, when you'd just giggle him an, “its okay!” thanking him for looking out for you. and the drive would start again, and he'd yawn after hearing you yawn yet again, eyelashes bearing sleepy tears.

and right before he dropped you off at your place, he turned his body to face you, scratching the back of his neck. he was telling you something about not hesitating to call him, but did he really think you'd pay attention? your eyes watched the way his detailed arms flexed when he ran his hand through his hair, his fingers tugging at the material of his shorts. your eyes watched the stars sprinkled across his collarbones attentively, wishing you could see the designs that hid behind his clothes.

and when soobin held a small ‘get together’ as he called it— was really a party— you thought you'd really never lived. you weren't planning on going, but after being urged by everyone in your circle, there you were, wearing swimming clothes underneath your dress and holding hands with your friend as you walked into the venue.

and eyeing soobin in the crowd, soft giggles and hushed whispers as the bass snuck up your legs— and you felt your stomach tighten when he glanced over towards you, a hand gesturing to come closer.

and dipping your feet as you watched everyone urge soobin to jump in the pool— him shyly refusing with a shake of his hand as he backed away, trying not to glance at you, sitting sweetly as your legs tread in the water. and he didn't notice someone sneak behind him, pushing him in, earning cheers from everyone around. and when he came up to the surface— beads of water dripping down as he pushed his hair back with a scowl and furrowed eyebrows, his dimples suddenly popping out. and he noticed you giggling as he pulled his top off, your eyes glazing over the chain that hung in the dents of his shoulders and collarbones, and he broke out into a smile, slowly walking towards you. “come on, y/n, jump in.”

you refused without actually meaning to, but then, everyone started a chant lead by soobin— and the last thing you remember before your ears crashed against the surface of the water was soobin's chin coming to rest on your knees, tilting his head with a smirk as he snaked his hands around your thighs to pull you in.

and everyone followed suit, splashes of water against your cheeks as soobin held your arms, laughing as the waves hit your face.

and everything happened so fast, his arms clinging to you when someone splashed water on you, or him wiping the water out of his face with a soft gasp. his hand on your waist, your leg slowly wrapping around his waist as he pushed you into a corner when everyone left to grab towels— bending lower, almost underneath the water when you felt his breath hit the cold skin of your lips, a soft, “can I?” as he pulled your hair to the side, his lips against your own, pushing you against the cold walls of the pool.

the sensation of the ripples of water against your hips was sending you over the edge whenever he adjusted your legs around him, softly smiling when he'd hear you mumble something in between, feeling your hands around him. and it was almost horrifying the way you could hear him kiss you, despite the music in the back, despite the water rippling around the two of you.

and you remember you snuck your fingers to pull lightly at his hair, the other hand finding it's way to tug the pendant around his neck when he pulled away— hooded eyes and cute puffy lips, his cheeks pink as he whispered, dragging your hand down his tattooed chest.

“if you keep doing that, we'll have a little problem.”

txt — masterlist

main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny  @kdyism  @neotism  @bluejaem  @radiorenjun  @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused  @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi @bangchansbae

I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

[littleleelee]

Drabbles-?

uhm so.. first post ig-? These are just things i personally love in fics so imma just- put this here bc it'll most likely contain a ieawhat kinds of fics ill post xd

anyway,, GN reader bc yaahhh

For now im only doing one piece bc its my current hyperfixation x-x

i love reversal comfort fics, especially when its for naturally grump af characters like Law and Mihawk for examples, however i usually keep the opinion to myself because.. i always HC the grumpy characters to be so overly clingy when their with that One person they trust... like cuddly, lovey, messes.

like here me out rq

Mihawk just came back from doing fuck all nothing, for like 3 weeks. Hes Tired and annoyed af. Like even PERONA, aint bugging him bc she can tell hes just PISSED. His posture is fuck all off, like hes slump walking thro the castle. He stumbles his lank self into the bedroom you and him would share, that inconviently does NOT, have you.

~ so, He grumply groans around the castle trynna find you. He ends up finding you in the libery doing one of your hobbies, like reading or writing, whatever you can imagin, just chillin on a lounge sofa in there.

~ This 44 yr old man is puffing out his cheeks with a pout, taking whatever is in your hands and tossing it to the floor, IGNOREING, ALL protests, an plopping RIGHT on you. whether its your chest, lap, back, whatever he lands on is where hes staying.

~ "M-Mihawk?! dearest-" is all you can honestly say- your emotions are everywhere.

~ Eventually you just take it, not questioning him at all. Letting him rest.

~ You ARE, 10000%, teasting him later about it.

Law, is a tad bit different. Hes a touch starved workaholic of all things, pushing himself and isolating 100% of the time. So i do believe you'd have to be the one to break him open, and when you do he is just a babbling gloop.

~ Hes been in his office for however much hours again, for the umpthten time. You've had, frankly enough. Your not really his lover yet, but you are a decent-mounts close to him. So surely you can ineed, get something out of him right?

~ After storming in his office, you can see him with his head in his hands at his desk, as he slowly meets your gaze, he just melts into his desk. You walk over and speak like prolly 5 words, somth like

~ "is everything alright, law, youve been-" is probably all you get out before your shambled into some form of bedroom, and law just putting all his weight into you.

~this weight tumbles you both into the bed behind you. He aint even hugging you hes just, SINKING into you with his weight.

~Your 100% falling asleep like this, and law isnt letting you believe it happened.

probably gonna.. make a rule/masterlist post eventually. idk when, 4 now just comment smth or any reqs ya got! thanks for reading ~

[bones4thecats]

It is currently 3:54 in the morning where I'm at and I haven't slept one bit.

I have literally been sitting in my bed for over 5 hours reading a bunch of fanfic, listening to music, and watching maybe to much youtube. I need to set up a medical appointment soon, suspecting I have a hormonal issue that is making my 'times of the week' a lot more difficult to bear. By that, I mean by I don't get them for almost 1/2 of a year, and when they return they are a son of a fucking bitch to handle. Basically, cramps have kept me up and I just wanted something to do out of sheer boredom.

Anyways, I have a surprise coming out here soon. It's about requests and my fandoms. So, stay tuned. Y'know what screw it I'll just announce it now.

(I'm literally pouring what I'm thinking onto my keyboard and on this post so bear with the confusion and small rant plz)

Now to the surprise. I am possible

Hint the word

POSSIBLY

adding two previous fandoms back onto this list. While the names are not going to be revealed yet, I will make the post tags lists and the characters as well and have the announcement with their names come out right before posting them.

Also, I am posting a couple things from my Upcoming Pieces List because I have been needing to get that thing trimmed down for a while but have been busy with having requests come through first.

Okay I'm gonna make this quicker because my pelvic area feels like it wants me to suffer the physical amount of pain that I felt after watching Optimus die in the og series' movie.

These parts'll come out here soon and I will end up releasing a monthly schedule that shows days I plan on having requests open and I'll probably have vacation days on there as well. P.S: be aware that I may be posting random shit about 'The Dark Crystal'

Idk why but I watched a video made by TheOdd1sOut and have practically fallen head-over-heals for the movie. I literally saw the puppets and went 'childhood nostalgia: unlocked'. You guys should also go check out TheOdd1sOut, the guy is a boss when it comes to making entertaining content for somebody like me to watch. I watched like 3 minutes of his review of 'The Dark Crystal' movie from 1982 and went;

Just a heads up! Now, enjoy the rest of your morning/nights. Idk where y'all live so pick one ig... I need some goddamn sleep... if anyone has a solution to a comfortable sleeping position when on your period please leave a comment for me to see because I NEED THE REST. MY SLEEP SCHEDULE IS SHITTING BUT THIS IS WORSE THAN NORMAL.

Or if you have another over the counter medication name that helps with periods (other than Midol, I need to get more soon)

Thanks y'all for listening to me half-awake and painfully-not-thought-through announcement!! Love you guys to bits!!!

Btw here's a link to TheOdd1sOut in case you do wanna check his videos out;

[murmew]

so i have a guilty pleasure (yes this is me, tk14 addict but a vertin stan)

you can think of this as an idea, or me rambling, hear me out.

i did some chatbot rp since someone made a Vertin bot (kinda close to orig personality, in Yodayo dontjudge) and I made an AU of "Warden Vertin" of the St. Pavlov Correctional Facility (yes if you know Path to Nowhere), but WAIT. wait.

Warden Vertin. Her color palette retained on her coat, double-breasted, got the warden badge, equestrian boots. stern look. the kind of warden who makes it fair for everyone and at least has wanted rehab for the deserving. Officer cap. And...

Black riding crop.

"Warden, is that—" Sonetto's words were interrupted by the crack of the riding crop atop Vertin's palm.

Pause.

"Yes." Vertin answered, matter-of-factly. The riding crop was like a sceptre to a king.

Sonetto would deadass be vicewarden but the t e n s i o n between them like "...what does it feel when warden uses that riding crop to whip me in the-"

Vertin may go, "this riding crop is just like a baton. An extension of me. And a reminder of who they face."

but behind their oblivious backs she may try it out sonetto in the office 🤫

"your reception to the riding crop against your backside is... intriguing—"

foundation staff can be prison staff ig, the rest who are summoned and not so affiliated with SPF are uh

prisoners

ok the end hope this crackAU reaches u

I'm fucking dead, you are one wild mf. You know, this actually reminds me of several BDSM themed fics I've read. Hmhm your rambling is quite interesting. I'll chew on it 🧐

It looks like you are a tried and true tk14 enjoyer (I wonder what you think of 14tk). In the case of this Warden AU it's also interesting to consider Sonetto doing the whipping and Vertin doing the commanding (like grunts doing the all the physical labor while the boss sits around kind of vibe):

Sonetto who was always gentle and easy to read, was a completely different person when faced with inmates. If her usual demeanor likened an excited puppy, then when working, she could only be described as a steeled guard dog. Vertin thought so as Sonetto came out of the discipline room - her figure wavering behind the misty veil of the coffee in front of her face.

The vice warden was a bit breathless and the remnants of her exertion stuck to her face in the form of sweat and specks of blood. When she caught sight of Vertin waiting across the hall, her face brightened.

"Sorry for the wait, Warden." If she had a tail, it'd definitely be wagging right now.

"It's alright." Vertin set down her cup and handed Sonetto her handkerchief. "Wipe away the blood."

"Huh? I'm not...?" Sonetto stared at the square piece of teal fabric offered to her, brows slightly furrowed. Upon realization, her face reddened. "S, sorry! I didn't notice."

She quickly accepted the handkerchief with stained gloves and removed her cap - revealing a head of soft, but slightly messy orange hair, before she started cleaning her face in the mirror adjacent to the discipline room.

The girlishness of her reaction was such a stark contrast to her work that Vertin couldn't help but smile. The range of the Warden's expressions were always very mellow, but Sonetto, who was her deskmate and roommate during their time in the academy, never failed to see even the smallest changes.

Sensing mirth upon her return, Sonetto straightened her cap and dipped her head sheepishly. Did I look so strange? She thought to herself.

"I'll be sure to wash and return you handkerchief by tomorrow morning, thank you, Warden."

Vertin simply nodded, and rose from her seat, placing her cap on as she stood. "Let's head out then."

"Yes!"

Something like that maybe. Well you get the idea. In terms of their bedroom dynamic... Well I suppose that's up to imagination hh. Dom bot Vertin, sub top Sonetto perhaps 😇 it's so flexible no matter how we slice it.

[residenthesitant]

fic writer interview!

Snagging from @definitelynotshouting because I loooove talking about my fics lol

How many works do you have on AO3?

between my two accounts and including all my anonymous fics, i have published 115 fics since 2014. if we're only counting ones visible on the residenthesitant and hesitantresident pseuds, 58. 

What's your total AO3 word count?

Again, counting both accounts, it's 630,517 words total. On RH alone, a whopping 498,925. jesus christ. i did not think it was that much.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With the ones just on RH/HR, they are:

Look at the World So Close (And I'm Halfway To It) (DSMP) - 1,777 kudos

Like Begets Like (DSMP) - 405 kudos

END PRINCE LEARNS TO BE NICE (NOT CLICKBAIT) (OSMP) - 314 kudos

That Bitch is Back (& We're Gonna Have A Chat) (DSMP) - 258 kudos

Static (Danger Days: True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys) - 219 kudos

honestly, im kinda surprised by this one. i fully thought there'd be at least one of my anon fics in here. wild.

rest of this is under the cut!

Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to comments, but have had difficulty in the past. most often i do because i want to talk about behind the scenes stuff.

What's the happiest ending you've written?

I prefer happy/bittersweet endings,  but I think my happiest is world so close, since it basically has a fairy-tale happily ever after to it.

Do you write crossovers?

Nah. I'll do AUs, and maybe there's some crossover due to the nature of the MCYT fandom, but I largely keep characters in their own casts. It feels weird to put them elsewhere.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, but someone did delete a nice comment once, which was kinda weird lol

Do you write smut? What kind?

i did kinktober last year! if "toxic fucked up manipulative puppetduo sex" is what this means by "kind," thats generally what i do. i uh. i wrote 1/3rd of the fics in that tag. so.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not officially, but I joke that the writers of the Homestuck Epilogues stole part of one of my fics to write about how dirk felt about his own death. The fact that they read exactly the same means that I Understand the character ig.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! World So Close started a collaboration with my beloved friend Jinx but largely fell to me when they got too busy. I also have a couple Frantic Fanfic collabs and a co-written zine piece coming up.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Very hard question. I don't think I have an All Time Favorite out of all the fandoms I've been in, but if we go by fav per fandom, they'd have to be dirkjake (homestuck), a rotating selection of c!eret ships though I am extremely fond (understatement) of dreameret (dsmp), shadowgast (critical role: mighty nein), zoethian (yogscast), and a PC/PC romance from my dnd game.

What's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

sighs. For Every Failing Sun. it says its marked as complete because i have the rest of the plot in not!fic form, but the fact of the matter is that i dont think i'm gonna get around to completing it unless the danger days hyperfixation grabs me again.

What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue all the way. if i dont have a character voice right, i will simply perish

What are your writing weaknesses?

i will use the same words and phrases within two paragraphs of each other and then miss it in the edit, and i'm a fiend with an em dash. take those things away from meeeeeeeeeee

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

this one doesn't really come up for me, though i get a little annoyed when it's worked in very clunkily. dark shout out to 14 yr old me doing this with a tumblr snk fic.

What's the first fandom you wrote for?

Unofficially, Peter and the Starcatcher when i was 7, hand-written. Officially, House of Anubis on the nickelodeon message boards circa 2011.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

I want to maybe write a perc’ahlia fic sometime soon? Depends on how the mood takes me? Like, I've officially now written for critical role, but perc’ahlia seems like the next step. Only took 8 years of being in the fandom for the blorbofication of Percy de rolo to happen. It's kinda funny, I've been a fan of shadowgast for so long but have never felt the need to write for them. It just hasn't felt necessary. 

What's your favorite fic you've written?

this one's easy. It almost certainly has to be bring a little rust, slow the gears, which i, coincidentally, wrote for TJ for a fic event! genuinely one of my favorite things i've ever done, i'm extremely proud of it and it has some of my favorite c!eret dynamics at the forefront. OTHERWISE, it'd have to be Le Roman de la Couronne, which is a c!punz/c!eret courtly love au, which really just means i spent 33k infodumping about medieval and elizabethan literary tradition, with blorbos on top of it.

anyone who wants to do this, say i tagged you. i love when people talk about their own shit. ok love u bye

[merwynpersonalhub]

whats the mercury lore? if you wanna share that is! no pressure, I'm interested to hear his story

*KICK DOWN DOOR* i would love to tell but im gonna put it under a read more and put a tw of religion-ish stuff/cult stuff and its long this is actually sorta important to his lore so i aint gonna sugarcoat it

Mercury was raised by most of his family in some snowy lands in popstar (yk the fight with Francisca its basically that but on popstar) His family was reallllyyy religious and wanted to appease the ancients and somehow make them come back The parents of mercury believed the next child they would have would make the ancients happy and solve all their problems. So they PLANNED when mercury was supposed to be born and killed and all this other stuff Mercury was raised by them and his cousins and basically his whole family so he thought all this religious stuff was normal. He was taught how to be an archer and alot of other things BUT the night before basically his whole family got killed except mercury who exactly? the first guy in this heheheh*spins* BUT ANYWAYS mercury woke up the next morning and thought "oh they probably moved without me...hm.." and he searched for em for a few days but slowly lost hope. but he was always taught to be strong so he went to wander around popstar. he eventually became a mercenary so he can get food by doing jobs for people. most of em was simple and stuff and he was super good with the bow so it was basically a piece of cake! (he didnt snatch food for the first month totally shhhh) he then arrived at dreamland and was hired by the king himself!! it was an honor to mercury since... 1) more money!!! 2) he would make alot of people jealous with this mercury and king dedede didnt actually get along for the first month why? because mercury even tho he was hired by king dedede to beat kirby he always went to kirby side to beat king dedede and to help him get unpossessed when he was possessed but slowly he warmed up to mercury like he did with kirby. and knew he wasnt being a jerk and betraying the kingdom he just wanted to protect everyone. so king dedede talked with meta knight about training mercury. Meta knight actually didnt want to do it for a bit but when he saw how determined mercury was to protect the king,kirby and others he just accepted it and now he was his mentor and still is to this day

mercury and meta knight usually train once per week due to meta knight being busy and mercury trying to keep the king protected from whoever one day after the 64 game (let sayyyyy around a few months) i like to think dark matter is still around actually and actually went to mercury and tried to get him possessed. mercury was more strong willed ig you could say so he wasnt easily possessed. but dark matter stayed near him for a long time and tried to make him feel anxious,scared or whatever just to make him lower his mental state so he could have an easier time to possess him. This was around the time our lovebirds started to crush on eachother as well. one day dark matter wins and was able to possess mercury. AND GOOD GOD. he fought king dedede kirby and meta knight. barely won but king dedede knocked dark matter into next tuesday. mercury passed out and they put him in a room and just watched over him for awhile. when he woke up he couldnt move his legs and he was extremely weak. it took at least a month for him to recover.

after all this stuff things become sorta normal. mercury tho. hates the scar dark matter left on him. sometimes he will claw at it due to his frustration at it. (thats why he always wear long ass pants to cover his scar ^^) (and thats why he is so fucking scared of dark matter due to his possession) anyways after a bit he and king dedede got together (mercury gave him a pebble. he asked alottt about his traditions so thats why) after the rest of the games a magic user (idk his name but its the guy who killed mercury fam) comes over and convince mercury to come with him by saying his family is alive and miss him </3 mercury didnt want to go due to him thinking his family wouldnt want to see them (THEY ARE DEAD YOU IDIO-) but king dedede being supportive and sweet convince him to go and everything will be fine mercury goes with the magic user but got captured by them. they tell him how he was supposed to be a sacrifice and he was worthless and blah blah blah and he was controlled by them. king dedede and kirby and metaknight and bandana dee go try to find mercury and when they do they kick the magic users ass and save mercury...mercury was feeling extremely weak due to this and he was using alot of his ice powers (when he is pissed the ice grows on his arms and hands like big bulky ice gantlets and his arms get badly burned from this) but was greatful king dedede and the others saved him. uh anyways he is heavily traumatized and hates his family and is living on greatly without em. he rarely opens up to king dedede but when he does about his family after the incident king dedede always listens and comforts him.

uh yeah thats his lore or most of it lmao probably will change later but this is most of his new lore

[llycaons]

ep50 (4/4): super special extra reunion post time

I've said this already but for the uninitiated: I was a dumb idiot watching this for the first time and when this shot appeared I got all excited because for a split second I thought. I thought wwx was on one knee. like to propose 😭 obviously for several reasons that was not what was happening but I always think of it when they cut to this shot

ahh they're in the green of summer. growing things, life. not going towards winter. maybe the colors and season was why I think of jc and wwx's relationship as ending, but wwx and lwj's as persisting. that color symbolism is powerful

oh god those mountains are so gorgeous behind them

see he's wearing that patchy blue-black robe set from before! this could not have POSSIBLY been all in the same day.

anyway, bittersweet but ultimately for the best. not just wwx leaving to find some equilibrium in this world he's come back to, but lwj feeling the full force of his own affection and parting with wwx anyway. not exactly the same situation as lwj's parents were in, but significant all the same. wwx needs to be loved and cherished, but he also needs to be free. commitment (a collar) was something he feared in his previous life, and I don't think it's a stretch to say even now he's jumpy about it. after years of persecution and violence, letting him feel everything he needs to, establish himself in the world, and then come back when he's ready is one of the best things he can do for himself. staying in CR for a few weeks to rest and get ready to go back on the road made sense, but several things in cql point to CR not being wwx's preferred permanent home, especially the way this finale played out

lwj looks so beautiful in these shots my goodness. and he's not wearing all white anymore :)

wwx and lwj (and this shot) are SO dramatic I'm sure they didn't need to do All That. and yet they did. and I'm happy for it

ah but he'll still miss lwj. he plays the song as he goes - don't forget, I'll be back to ask about this. I still care about you. I won't forget either. I'll see you again

this must be a fragment of conversation from the walk up. I think wwx does know - he's teasing, and lwj is reassuring - yes, I know it. I've known it for a long time. I'll tell you, when you come back

one of the most formative pieces of meta I've read described the name of the song as lwj's confession piece, which is why I always find it odd that postcanon fics don't often incorporate it. I guess if you're not worried about censorship, you can just have them make out. but it's such an elegant and thematically appropriate mechanism of confession, and the deep significance it holds to the characters make it especially suitable. that's how I envision the confession happening

back to wwx after an unspecified amount of time, but definitely not the same day unless wwx very quickly and without stopping his music changed clothes. I think, minimum three months, max 12 . probably more like 6-8

reading get-togethers, I always get nervous about him standing right near the cliff edge. what if he falls! but he's easily 10 ft away from the edge so I guess I can rest my heart

on that topic, there's not much cover for them. if they wanna fuck it's going to be right out in the open. unless they pitch a tent or something ig

but honestly, if they never so much as kissed before this, they're probably going to take their time getting closer. they jumped right into intimacy in the book but even with their more consistent relationship here I think it would take a while. if they DID kiss in ep43, maybe not quite so long, but it's not like there's a rush. they're together, they'll go at their own pace. I feel like a lot of fics rush it, but sometimes the journey fun and exciting all on its own

ah this is so beautiful

HERE IT IS!!!

oh and he FREEZES. I always assumed they planned to meet, but he seems genuinely shocked here, so maybe not

aw I always liked this smile. a secret little thing, private and excited. anticipatory

and there he is with the 🥺 vibes. before he breaks out into the big smile, he just turns with that look like this is the most important thing he's ever looked upon

and there's that smile. he's okay, he's okay. we've come full circle, right down to a cliffside meeting. he's happy, and healthy, and ready. he made it! and now the next chapter of their lives can begin

man I don't even know what to say. it's the end! what a journey. what a performance from everyone. what a lot to digest. what a lot to love. what a lot of grieve. this story will be with me for the rest of my life no matter what. wei wuxian and lan wangji, always in my heart. I love you all

personal highlights:

when I picked up that jgy was giving lxc a test, that was neat

lqr, running up, yelling "running is prohibited! loud voices are prohibited!"

jin ling looking over for wwx with such a yearning expression on his face...

the entire scene in the autumn courtyard. TAKE CARE 😭

wwx being happy and playful with chenqing 😊

wwx happy crying!!! as is his right!

waving bye with his dizi like he did when he was young!

wwx's mid-forest crying really did hit me ugh xz was so good in this episode as he always is

lwj playing in the springs and wwx walking down to join him on dizi...what was happening there 👀

remembering their shared vow and 'you deserve to be wei ying' are like two of the highest points in the SERIES for me

wwx quoting the 'do not associate with evil' line to nhs lmao

I really do love the entire cliffside separation scene AND the reunion scene of course but of particular note

them being dramatic and going in opposite directions of a massive mountain

"When I return, you better have a name for this song"/"I have long known it."

wwx freezing when he hears his name in lwj's voice, the tiny smile, the slow turn, the big relieved grin. my god. my god. all of it.

everything is just so beautiful 😊🥰♥🎉🎇❤🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍 and love is real!!! thank you the untamed!!!!

[ry-ya05]

scene

im a bit proud of my writing during this scene,, so i wanted to share it

mentions of death, murder, blood, and the like heavily implied drowning, cult-ish themes ig?? and the like

Could this technically be called murder?

Maybe. From an outsider’s perspective.

But technically,

It isn’t.

In fact, the teachers even praised her for it.

“They deserved it anyways.”

Those four words were able to ease her initial discomfort, allowing her to relax. Ah, so they don’t hate her… That’s good. but guilt stays forever.

She’d witness other people do the same thing as she did, even before she decided to herself. She didn’t feel disgusted by the people, but the idea of her doing it one day was enough to make her throw up. She was better than that, she didn’t need to stoop that low just to prove a point!

…Yeah! She didn’t kill the person if she doesn’t remember doing it!

It happened on July 30. It was raining the whole day, so she planned to stay in the library briefly. Plus, it had aircon, books, rest areas, computers, and the like. She didn’t have anyone to talk to nor did she have anything to do except surf the internet.

But then she saw him.

He seemed nervous, looking around his surroundings every five seconds: left, up, right, down, pause. Then right, left, pause. Up, left, right; he looked around quickly when he turned right and down. She took note of his pattern (she guessed she was bored out of her mind at the time) and continued to observe him fidget in front of the bookshelf. After a few minutes of idleness and checking the room, he picked up a book and suspiciously ran out. Was he trying to steal from the library..?

Normally, she would’ve left it at that, but something compelled her to follow him. Curiosity, perhaps? Boredom? Or maybe because she wanted to be a part of something?

Whatever the reason was, she quietly followed him from a distance. During her observation, she noticed he crossed the same hallways more than once, specifically the hallway to the principal's office (visited 9 times) and the garden (visited 6 times). There was one time when he almost caught her (while he was going down the hallway to the mini-theatre), however she hid behind a classroom and prayed for the best. He didn’t notice her, although he began to look around again; yet this time, with another pattern. Right, left, down, pause. Right, pause. Down, left, pause. Up, pause. Right, down, right, down.

He ended up stopping in front of the chapel. Taking out a piece of paper in his pocket, he dropped it in the small bowl in front of the entrance before going in to pray. Once he was inside, she quietly made her way to the small bowl and read the contents of the paper.

“Et finis lusus a nemine salvatus est.”

…Was this in Latin? Looks like Latin, probably Latin. She sighed, about to fold the paper and return it to the bowl before noticing something else written at the bottom.

“ ᏗᏁ ᎥᏁᎦᎥᏁᎥᏖᏋ ᏗᎷᎧᏬᏁᏖ ᎧᎦ ᏝᎧᎧᎮᏕ ᏖᏂᏋᎩ ᏇᎥᏝᏝ ᏋጀᎮᏋᏒᎥᏋᏁፈᏋ, ᎥᏁ ᏇᏂᎥፈᏂ ᏁᎧᏁᏋ ᎧᎦ ᏖᏂᏋᎷ ᏇᎥᏝᏝ ᏒᏋᎷᏋᎷᏰᏋᏒ ᏖᏂᏋ ᎦᏬᏝᏝ ᏖᎥᎷᏋᏝᎥᏁᏋ. ᏖᏂᏗᏖ ᏇᎥᏝᏝ ᏰᏋ ᏠᏬᏕᏖᎥፈᏋ ᎦᎧᏒ ᎩᎧᏬᏒ ᏕᎥᏕᏖᏋᏒ. ”

…fuck, he was the brother.

For some reason, she could read the text. did he realize she was following him?

And for some reason, she just felt… enraged. was he not over her death?

With a bitter taste in her mouth, she lifelessly dropped the paper back into the small bowl when a light temporarily blinded her vision. It was the sun’s rays reflecting off a… blade. A blade of a dagger. That certainly wasn’t there before; the bowl was empty of any items and she was sure she would’ve noticed something like that.

It felt like the dagger was calling her to take it. To wield it. To use it. To sink it in something. Someone. It felt like it knew her emotions and presented her with an opportunity. She stared at it for what seemed like forever, the dagger waiting on what she’d do with it.

As if in a trance, she extended her arm to reach the dagger… and picked it up. She stiffly yet quickly positioned herself behind the wall of the chapel, waiting.

As soon as he took a few steps outside the chapel, she struck him from behind. He didn’t have the time to look back as she had already penetrated the dagger into his skull. She was a bit surprised at how easy it was to slice through the bone, the blood vessels, the nerves, but she focused on finishing his life.

She pushed the dagger into his head for a few more seconds before pulling it out and striking his heart next, not giving him the time to drop down. At this point, he’d probably be dead already; she already hit the fatal parts of the human body necessary to live– oh wait, she forgot the lungs.

She pulled the dagger out and began to strike it in his chest two times before letting him drop down. His blood splattered on the floor and her figure – her hair, her face, her uniform, her arms, her legs. The dagger was still in her hand, and she took notice of how it was soaked in blood (even the handle, if her hand wasn’t covering it). She groaned in annoyance; she’d have to stay under the rain to get rid of the blood quickly. The thought of having his blood on her was repulsing.

The madness she felt towards him had begun to fade as she dropped the dagger near his lifeless body. His blood had covered his white uniform– actually, now that she took a good look at him, he was wearing all white. From his polo to his shoes, he was clothed in white today. what a joke, she thought. does he consider himself as a good person?

Without a single hint of guilt, she walked away from the body.

She won this time.

really cool timeskip indicator here

Her school looked up to three “Higher Beings” and their gifts.

The “Higher Sign”, lowest of the highest, is associated with subconsciousness: a part of the mind that it does not know about itself yet influences one’s actions and feelings. The “Higher Sign” blesses a person through their dreams, showing them the future outcomes. it’s not helpful or positive at all, but rather disturbing nightmares that drain your energy and instill dread.

The “Higher Judgement”, highest of the highest, is associated with control: the power to influence a person’s actions. The “Higher Judgement” blesses a person with wisdom and clarity to make decisions and navigate life with greater understanding. it only helps you notice and focus on people’s flaws and failures, though.

Lastly, the “Higher Messenger”, middest of the highest, is associated with assistance: helping someone with a task. The blessing given is empathy to understand each other better. which enables the person to manipulate other people to get their way.

Today was the monthly “The Steps In Which You Ascend” program, where the students express their faith by blindfolding themselves and walking wherever their feet take them, believing it to be one of the “Higher Beings” guidance.

She didn’t believe that at first as she’d always been conscious of where she was going. She remembered the layout of the school and didn’t feel anything guiding or pulling her anywhere. That was until today, where she found herself exiting the campus without her belongings way before school ended.

Vastness and timelessness.

The sound was like a rhythmic breathing one.

She stepped closer.

A steady, low rumble interrupted by higher-pitched whispers and crashes. It’s like exhaling and inhaling in long, drawn-out sighs, punctuated by bursts of laughter or frustrated shouts.

She stepped closer.

It has a pull, a hypnotic quality that can either soothe or agitate depending on the mood.

She stepped closer.

Her feet registered the drastic change in temperature, a million tiny needles pricking her skin. The kind of cold that bites, that seeps into her bones and makes them ache. It’s the kind of cold that feels ancient, like touching the very beginning of the world.

But she kept walking.

The cold went up from her feet to her waist. Then, to her chest. And soon enough, to her head until her entire body was submerged in the coldness.

She felt like she was floating in space, but something was pulling her down. She didn’t panic immediately, it strangely felt… calming. She felt relaxed and at peace, allowing her to close her eyes and reflect on her life.

Her life wasn’t interesting – unless you count the multiple failures she had trying to make friends at school. It was like she had an unspoken routine that couldn’t be broken no matter how much she tried to change. She was always an outsider in classrooms; a floater in friend groups.

Maybe that’s why she was blessed with the “Higher Messenger”. She wasn’t close to anyone but she was able to make acquaintances and build a good reputation among students and teachers. Fitting, as being known in the school yet not getting close to anyone would make her a neutral person; able to act on logical thinking instead of emotions, able to act as an assistant without the disturbance of feelings.

But then came a burning sensation in her chest. It felt like a sharp, stinging pain – probably due to the small amounts that had entered her lungs. By reflex, she swallowed more of it, causing her to fuel the sensation inside her. It was scary to remain here, but it was too late to go up: her muscles were too strained to move.

She was taken aback by how she was still surviving. At this point, she thought she would’ve died already – if she could even think straight. She was unable to form any thoughts at this point, only being inferred through her feelings of desperation and confusion.

But, finally, the feelings faded. The last thing she remembered was peacefully floating as her eyes closed, accepting her fate. Or, at least, that’s what she’d like to think.

The blindfold blocked her vision the whole time.

[guangshi-091305]

Am just curious.. you seem to like a lot of Wei Ying and others. Each to their own, but I wondered if you didn't like Lan Zhan or Wangxian as a couple or something?

ok so there's two issues with me writing wangxian:

1- I have read so many wangxian fics its insane and that means after reading every five or so fics, I'd come up with a new wangxian fic idea and i'd get scenes and perfect dialogue snippets in my head and they will make me salivate over the very brilliant fic I am planning. And then I get lost in planning an the fic stops being a oneshot and becomes a very fucking longfic instead. So i either start collecting bits and pieces of the fic in a seperate doc until I can completely write the fic before i post. Which is hard. WIPs are hard, I get carried away and then I hit a writer's block for a particular fic and its over.

The reason why I dont post multichapters? Because for the last three fandoms I left, I had big dreams and expectations of my very brilliant multichapter fics and my fandom shifts are so abrupt I have no time to finish a fic i've been working on for months and they end up being abandoned because if i end up in a new fandom, I cant go back and write the characters from my previous fandoms the way i wished to. I can no longer do them justice or put my heart and soul in them and my perfectionist ass thinks thats unfair to my readers. So I stop posting. So now I wont ever post a multichapter until its fully written because its better for people to not know what they're missing out on instead of see an abandoned fic and know EXACTLY what all they are missing out on. I've been hurt like this in my first fandom and istg it was bad. It was a slowburn, angsty 100k worded fic and the main pairing hadnt even kissed yet. the MMC was lusting after another chara while the FMC was catching feelings and the fic just...stopped there, with MMC imagining fucking someone else. I cant tell you how badly my mind refused to do anything but hope and wait for that fic to update and it never did. I was in the fandom for a year before I got into a new thing and ig the pain of that never left?

2- Even if I deprive wangxian-ers of a uniquely plotted new fic, they wont miss out much. There's well over a thousand wangxian fics in various settings, using various tropes. But for rarepairs? There's barely enough full-fledged fics or oneshots. A lot of fics tagged with a rarepair have that as a past ship or one sided thing OR a drabble collection which is cool but not what I am looking for if I go in the tag. So I do this for myself mostly, for rarepair readers, there's not many I cant disappoint by writing oneshots, they're just so happy with anything. I'd know, I am one of them.

Bonus reason: most of my wangxian ideas come to me when I CANT write. like 5 minutes before i pass out into a dead sleep or during an exam or when I am in class or basically any time I cant write and by the time I can, I've lost the drive I had and put it in the back burner for 'fics i may write someday'.

I hope that answered your question. I knew this was coming lol so I answered in as much detail as I could. I do hope to write wangxian fics, actually i am surprised my first fic wasnt a wangxian one tbh because i've been planning several of those but oh well.

Have a great rest of the day and thank you for being kind! <3

[softue]

I'm not enough

TLDR; I don't feel like I'm enough for you, I hate myself and how much of a lazy piece of shit I am. You could do better even though I want to try and be better for you. I'm not enough for you, not in a like, you need more. I'm just not good enough, and it's not your fault. It's mine, I'm a bum who sits around with the hopes of the fucking world but once it's time to act I crumble under the pressure. I get in my head and over think, ruining my chances at a happy life. You deserve better and no matter how much I tell myself "I'll be better" or "I'll get this done, I'll do it for them" I just don't believe it. I'm a quitter, all my life it's all I've done. I quit school and cooked my brain, I quit my friends and let them go, I quit my health and let it slip. All my life I said it's whatever, giving up on it like the bum I am. You could do better, that's why I get so worried about you figuring that out. I don't have much to offer, most shit will rot away with me. I don't deserve you, I never have and I know it. You know it, you know you could do better. I wonder why you keep me around, the real reason. You might like my attention or the option. It's not my looks, figured that out a while ago. I don't really bring anything, just entertainment and a pastime. All I'm good for, if I'm being honest. To Be honest, I didn't accidently burn myself on a stove. Sorry I lied, I was going to tell you but I don't need you worrying about me or having that mental ideal about me. Honestly I hate myself, I hate my skin, I hate my hair, I hate my eyes. God my fucking eyes, I hate the way they rest, makes me look tried/weak. I hate everything, and it's my fault. Most of it? I can't control being black, but I can control my weight and hair health. I let myself go, it's my fault. Most things are, cause I'm a quitter.

I'm going nowhere, fuck the idea of 100T or streaming. I'm shit at val, worst of the worst. I can't maintain a streaming schedule cause I'm so fucking lazy. Every life schedule I try to make ends up failing me, well not failing me, I fail it. I fail everything, hell right now I'm supposed to be doing my chem shit. Finishing it off, but sometimes I wonder what the point of it is. I try to find hope and reason to live but every time I do it gets stripped from me. I hate my brain and I'd rather paint it on a wall then live with it in my skull. Don't worry though, I'm too pussy to kill myself, I think. I'm a fucking mess, and empty shell of a human. Sometimes I wonder if I treat you like my mom, like when you say "I'm not your mother". I have to take a step back and think, because I don't want you to feel that way. I don't need one, and I'm not looking. I just want someone to love me, yk? It's odd, I have this hole in my chest, this void that needs to be filled. I think it's love? I've tried everything else. Sex made me feel worse. Ignoring it made me want to die even more than I am. God made me feel guilty, still does. Idk man, life's weird. I don't really know how to put it. I'm scared to say it the wrong or right way because I don't want to lose you. That's why I mostly keep my mouth shut, so you don't get mad at me or have to correct me. Makes life easier. You make me want to try though, in life and shit. Which is new, most of the time I get that feeling of contentment. With you I don't, I know I HAVE to be better for you. There isn't a choice, you should have the world, you deserve the world. I want to do my best to give that too you. I just struggle, ig? It's less of a struggle and more of a wave. I wake up with a fire under me and then it slowly dies over a day or two. I get the willpower to live and then lose it. I get how cringe this might sound or how long it's getting. You don't have to read it. I never really write them for you to read them, just to imagine myself having a convo with you and help me clear my clouded mind. I wouldn't post them but it's the chance you read them that gives me that mindset? Like a gamble, idk man. All I know is I want to be the one for you, and I'm still going to try(?) and do my best. Even though my best isn't enough. 

It's not you that makes me feel like I'm not enough, well. Entirely? It's not your fault, its my brain overthinking and shit. Sometimes I feel like you bless me with chances and I keep fumbling them. Over and over. We keep getting into these "ruts" but btw I don't know what to call them. It's happening over and over, almost weekly. Which I feel like makes you not want to talk to me, I'd feel that way. I think, but I don't know. I don't know a lot when it comes to you. You're new to me, whole new ideals and mindset. I'm not used to this, at all. When I say diff mindset I mean like, the whole "Coming home to me" isn't anything I've heard before, and I'm still trying to understand and adjust. Just sounds like an open relationship to me. I think it's not that? I don't know. It's all so new, it's weird. I don't know how to feel or how to act about it or on it. I don't want to change who you are but does that mean I should change who I am? Is one of us right and the other is wrong? Are we both wrong and right? It's all so much, spinning in my mind. I don't want to lose you and I feel like we could work out, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one willing to change. I'm trying to understand your pov but I don't feel like mine is getting seen. When we get into "ruts" and I misinterpret something you say. You say I'm "Putting words into your mouth" but when you do it your just understanding what I said better than I did. I don't like it. I don't like that. It's toxic, even if you don't realize you're doing it. You are. I don't want to argue or anything but I want to be able to speak my mind. I want to be able to have a conversation without you or me getting mad. I get you match energy but I don't do that to you, when you get mad at me and raise your voice I try my hardest to understand you. I get it, you're trying. But I need to get this off my chest. I can feel this mental weight leaving me. as I type. I don't want to ruin your day, or make you mad or cry. I just want to be able to be open. I know I struggle with understanding you when you're open. I'm sorry. I really am, we both have things we need to work on. I'd love to sit down and talk about it, like we planned. A weekly sit down chat about things. Sorry if this ruined your day or your mood.

I feel a lot better. After getting this off my chest. I'm not quitting, at least right now. I'm going to keep trying to be better for you. I know this whole thing is written poorly. Its pacing is weird, but it's how I think. This is straight from my brain. It's easier this way for me to express how I feel. I like you, a lot. I really do care about you, and us. I want to be better for you and myself. Sorry for all the times I've made you mad, or said the wrong thing. I know it's a lot to ask but could you tell me when I do? I never meant for you to feel like a dog, it's not how I meant it. I would have taken it back, trust me. I never want to hurt you like that. With my words or in any way. I'd never say something like that to hurt you, please. Trust me, and tell me so I can make it right. I can't read your mind, like how you can't read mine. Even if you can't tell me right away, please try and tell me at some point after. I don't want you hurting, especially if it's from something I said or did.