#respected but not suffocated
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My (finished sometime in the future) book on Marie Antoinette in pop culture/media/public consciousness is going to have a section on the infantalization of Marie Antoinette into a perpetual teenager that presents her as being in this Poor Girlhood stasis while ignoring her adulthood and especially her last few years, all while presenting an inflated version of life at Versailles in order to forward this narrative more strongly, and said chapter is gonna be hot.
#people who cling to the coppola aesthetic narrative will not be happy#like anyone who follows this blog knows I love MA but please stop pretending she was forever a teenage dauphine#one of the reasons courtiers hated her is because she was allowed to change etiquette as queen#she got irritated with Maximilien & Joseph II for not following etiquette they visited. It's not that she expected all etiquette to be gone#It's that she expected or rather wanted to live like a queen might live in other countries in Europe#respected but not suffocated#not bound by 'this person is rank B.6 so they get to talk before this b.9 person but oh wait an A.3 came in now THEY get to...' etc#a lot of people with this attitude also share the 'anything they read about versailles being wacky is true' belief which is just odd#like can we use common sense sometimes PLEASE
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#current mood: lh brainrot#imma start testing the line of what can and cannot be said on tumblr#just you wait#suffocating may not be the worst way to go#lewis hamilton#sir lewis hamilton#do not mistake my use of proper titles as respect for dumb british customs#its just the perfect excuse to say sir#formula 1#formula one#f1
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the Simon baby-trapping fic is finally finished but where Price was the fluffy, 80s sitcom (but one filled with gone girl-esque mutual manip, morally ambiguous shenanigans), Simon is what happens when you try to tame a rabid dog.
his idea of want in this is like a child trapping a firefly inside a pretty glass jar filled with shredded grass, leaves, broken sticks, dirt, and crushed flowers. everything is perfect; cosy. comfortable—
but he forgot to poke holes in the lid.
#simon is almost irredeemable in this but#love is smothering is suffocating is accidentally killing the thing you want the most because you can't help but hold on too tight et ceter#it's also like soooo foul#dni with this if you respect me in any way lmao#will probs be up soonish maybe#simon riley x reader#this is awfulllll#and is basically a warning#cod#call of duty
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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn
Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished
And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue
#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking#to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually#had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed#and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about#'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know#has reinforced that for me#'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect#then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie#I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3#They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that#anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them#cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit#I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt#ex christian#religious trauma#child abuse tw
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hey you guys know that even if the people inside that submersible are rich billionaires, dying in that metal tube at the bottom of the ocean is a horrific way to die right. like. yeah stupid choices were made by the people in there signing off on a waiver that says the sub is not approved by anyone and they could die. but it’s the fault of OceanGate for knowingly putting people into a Home Depot DIY sub rigged up with an Xbox controller all to make a profit on people’s curiosity.
#ra speaks#personal#oceangate#missing sub#be normal on this post or I’m going to be disappointed in you and hope you grow as person#listen I’m not touching the ‘site of a horrific maritime disaster being used as a tourist locale’ with a ten foot pole#but like the people in that sub are currently going through something incredibly traumatic and will be lucky to survive#and I know we all love to laugh at dumb rich people suffering the consequences of their hubris#but jfc maybe I’m insane but like on a human level can you respect the horror of what is happening to real living ppl for a goddamn minute#there’s also a good chance these folk aren’t millionaires#they’re probably upper middle class folk splurging for the start of summer vacation#‘oh but I bet they’re still rich assholes-‘ THERES PEOPLE IN THERE. THEY MIGHT DIE. WHY IS THIS SO HARD TO GRASP AS A TERRIBLE THING???#me. low empathy: wow this is horrible. I quite literally can’t imagine how the people down there feel but I’m sure it’s incredibly traumatic#dumbasses making memes: haha dumb rich kid and his dad are gonna suffocate in a metal tube lol
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compilation of my friend bribes for the polls!
for @lifeseriesfour : 3L Rentho for voting Bdubs; CYSM!Ethubs for voting Etho
for @tunastime : Tango; spacer!Etho
for @briseise : MSMP!Rendubs
#spooky.art#hermitshipping#rentho#rendubs#ethubs#tango#etho#ren#bdubs#also go read can you see me and as i wait i suffocate if you haven't already they're such good fics#by laurie and tuna respectively :]
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WHAT DOES YOUR HEART LOOK LIKE ?
a tangled ball of red strings—who are you without the company of others? you aren’t sure, but you know that you aren’t fond of whoever it is. you are an actor, a pretty face and a pleasant song. many idolize you, or love you, but you can never be sure of how sincere it is. your heart is buried under the letters they leave you, sealed with a kiss. It can’t be untangled from the red strings they’ve attached to you. you deserve to find something, someone, true and faithful to hold your heart in place. you don’t have to be everything to everyone.
tagged by: @morningflew
tagging: @lcerys , @perzyr , @doloridis , @wolfkiler , @sanctamater , @divinehr , @daekarys , @daringthe
#dash games //#‘ who are you without the company of others ? ‘ absolutely miserable because she abhors the silence#she cant stand the silence#she’s the princess of dragonstone and therefore someone who needs to be respected and trusted and be able and capable and just#someone who can lead. someone who can DO all that’s expected of her#she’s the realms delight and someone who is adored and valued only for how desirable. how charming how likable she is#she’s so many things that come with societal expectations that don’t always fall in line with one another#and she’s expected to uphold all of them and adhere to such suffocating exacting standards to maintain the support that she has#‘ you can never be sure of how sincere it is ‘#like her age when she was thrusted into that exposure like it’s ?#she’s a little girl who wants to do well - she’s a little girl who knows the fundamentals of politics but nowhere NEAR the ugly sides#but like god that’s got to leave any child feeling so impermanent#as she could get pulled in any direction they want and nothing else would matter beyond if the masses were happy#and then she has children and those strings start to have names that do#hold her heart in place
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so fucking sick of the constant misgendering. it's exhausting. even from fellow queer people??????? who know me?????????? HELLO?????????????
#sorry i don't fit ur idea of queer but can u still show some basic respect & decency#pre-covering my hair i was constantly seen as non-binary or as a man or as intersex#and now??????? no matter what#i get referred to as a woman#by the same fucking people!!!!!! preaching “clothing has no gender”#ARE U SURE?????? CAUSE UR SURE AS HELL NOT TREATING ME LIKE I EXIST OUTSIDE MY CLOTHING CJOICES#most days i try to make myself not care but lately i've been realizing just how much i want to die because of how people perceive me#i don't want to change myself#but it's suffocating me#nobody sees me for who i really am except for spouse#and i am so so grateful for them#but when every single other interaction is just#so fucking transphobic and intersexist#i just want to curl up and die#changing the way i dress makes me want to die#getting misgendered for the way i dress makes me want to die#not having a place in the queer community makes me want to die#do u know how hard it is to be disabled intersex queer with DID which means constantly shifting identity#i'm lesbian im gay im trans both ways im ace im hypersexual im aromatic im poly it's EVRRUTHING#and so i fit nowhere#because i don't fit the mold :/#when i say queer in every way i mean it#and there's no real solution outside of finding community that accepts me and i cant even manage to get far enough into one#to even consider bringing up DID & the complexities it adds#cause y'all see someone in a modest dress & head scarf and go WOMAN#or see wheelchair and look the other way or continue booking in inaccessible places or not wearing a fucking mask#or don't want to be seen with someone visibly mentally ill#like..... i cant win. the only way i can get respect from my OWN FUXKJNG COMMUNITY is to change everything about myself#i'm so fucking over it#happy pride month ig
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Boston is just. A city, huh?
#a pretty okay city#quite small and suffocating in many respects#pretty in its own way#woefully lacking in theatre#but ultimately - just a city#wild#anyway im coming to you live from the public gardens for the first time in 5 years
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you inspire me to have kissy friends i love that but im still fighting being awkward about intimacy 😭💔
for me i understand myself and the way i love p well, and being v simplistic about it the line between platonic and romantic isn't there for me if i think ur cute and cool, i am just getting to know n appreciate u as a person! fundamentally.. which ways our connection blossoms and our dynamics will come about naturally :3 i am p open though!! i am honest and love giving ppl compliments and positive feedback; there r a couple different ways i could go about being more affectionate and intimate with a friend.
one is when u just are getting to know someone as a friend, u can ask about their boundaries and let them know u r affectionate with friends!! if they are too then there u go ♡
the other is becoming closer and comfortable with someone and u feel something shift in ur relationship, and u can tell them u would like to be more affectionate and if they r okay with that ask what they are comfortable with :3
the fun one is recognizing a mutual brain break going on realtime 👁️👁️ if you're not brave enough to say anything in the moment u can always confess later and tell them ur having Thoughts about them and get a feel for how they feel abt you. you can offer them More and it doesn't have to change ur relationship with each other.
the common thread is being communicative and talking about boundaries, and if ur having a hard time w emotional intimacy i think a great place to start is being more open and honest ♡ wear ur heart on ur sleeve. even if u don't feel comfortable or brave enough to tell ur friends u love them, there's nothing stopping you from telling them Why u love them. i love complimenting ppl and thanking them and telling them i had fun, i tell them when they look cute and love their outfits and what i love specifically or I'll hype up ur jewelry or hair change etc; if I'm feeling sentimental about something between us i will tell u how i feel and make sure u know u are appreciated.
i don't give compliments or praise or sentiments expecting anything in return, I'm just communicating my thoughts yk? take it as is and do with it what u will kind of thing, i just like being open!! i am of the opinion that people could stand to hear how great they are more often (✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) I'd like 2 think everybody likes feeling Seen, appreciated, understood, praised.
it's a lovely conversation starter but sometimes u just find someone u rly click with and as a dynamic i think practicing openness and honesty with each other on the little things makes room for u to be comfortable communicating bigger more sentimental and intimate things later on if ur friendship is going like that ♡
and with the boy specifically it was a combination of things.. we already had a great friendship and we had gotten a lot closer and more comfortable with each other conversationally, but phew i hadn't seen him in a good couple months i think?? and over that time i became comfortable with myself and Very t4t, and i got a lot hotter too when i went from fem to stem and he hadn't seen me in my masc era yet lol. not in person at least
anyways his birthday was coming up and i wanted to offer him a chain like mine and to make him a collar, and i was gonna go bring him his chain after work as a gift ^.^ ♡ when we finally got to see each other again oh my god lol he was in a sleeveless top w his arms out and For Some Reason i was more attracted to him than i had ever been 💀 i was trying not to stare too hard bc the whole time internally i was like AAAAA HE'S HOT HELP AKSKSKAK, BUT ☝🏾😌 I've had enough mutual brain breaks going on to know when someone's rly feeling me and i could tell lol. i originally just meant to stop by Real Quick but i ended up staying and hanging out for the evening (。ノω\。) i wasn't brave enough to say anything at first but i could not stop thinking about his shoulders and upper back and neck for like 2 days straight and i had to say Something.
being deliriously horny about him i was like GIRL OMFG DON'T DIE WONDERING TELL HIM SOMETHING and i sent him this 🙈
and he was glad i said something and was straightforward bc he was also having thoughts but wasn't sure if he could/should say anything ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡ so we talked about boundaries and we're still friends like we were but we're affectionate with each other now too and it's a sweet way to deepen our friendship. we r exploring being sweet friends together 👩🏽🤝👩🏾 butch4butch t4t real...
i have a good idea of how i want to navigate polyamory but putting it into practice and loving my friends more intentionally, fundamentally and to the fullest w my current perspective is new for me! and being affectionate in general is new to him, so I'm happy that we can be vulnerable and brave about it together ♡ i can be a lil clumsy and he can be a lil awkward but i think we're very cute 😌🥰 he's a good boy (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡
this ain't exactly a guide but it's a bit of what i got going on, take what u will from it (。・ω・。)ノ to be open with ur friends is a beautiful thing and i think things tend to develop naturally. i wish u the best of luck on ur quest w intimacy 🫶🏾
#v stoned rn so sry for rambling sm but i love love and could truly talk in sm other directions/depths abt it#so ty for the ask bc i am happy to talk and think about The Boy �� and yeah i hope this is at least a little helpful in some way#i have sm different thoughts and feelings about this man.. the way I've had a secret crush on him multiple times (。ノω\。)#he's very charming and considerate and is wonderful company#i think I've cooled off enough though and i rly enjoy what we have going on rn ^.^#i like having friends I'm like this with more than the idea of dating someone. esp after 11 yrs of monogamy#like the relationships themselves were great and there's 2 specifically when i say 11yrs bc i was w these ppl for 5 and 6 yrs respectively#but they were also socially isolating and suffocating and unsatisfying in different ways ૮ – ﻌ–ა i think what I'm doing is more fun#and fulfilling for me :3 i don't like having to live up to the Idea of a partner esp in a social/community way esp when the community is#cishet ppl and they push gender expectations on u but like.. in a gender dysphoria inducing way. obv depends on the fam#but it's just a lot less pressure and a different dynamic and it feels a lot more genuine and intimate in that I'm sm more#comfortable being open w my friends‚ and since the foundation is me loving them fundamentally i feel like#people who come to love me in these kinds of friendships like really love me for me yk? like i am sm more than just the role#i can fulfill for u and i feel like i can really be all that and be seen and be appreciated w my friends more bc the pressure's not#there interpersonally or socially. we just talk‚ we hang out‚ we're vulnerable with each other‚ we accept each other‚ luv each other for#who we are. no one's expectations are on us and we don't have expectations of each other. just some sort of sweet relationship that#can always be taken in whatever direction we want as long as we're on the same page w each other ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა
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what kind of catharsis do you need ?
tears .
You've been holding it all in for so long, haven't you? It seems like there's no time, no space to fall apart. But you don't have to pretend to not be hurting. The tide of pain in you is cresting. Let it out. There's no judgement here.
freedom .
You've had the weight of the world on your shoulders, haven't you. It's okay to put the burden down, stretch your legs -- everything won't fall apart if you just take a second to breathe. Go for a late night drive with the windows down and the radio up. Howl at the moon. Break something. You earned it.
tagged by @foolshoujo thank u!! ✨✨
#TAGMEME.#does this. goes to bed#steal if u want!#alsjawlkjfk i could ramble in the tags or i could sum up with Yeah#u dont get role as the protag/centerpiece of this paradise lost narrative without the weight of everything being on you#all the time + -as- the centerpiece you aren't allowed to cry because everyone is constantly#always looking to you for leadership and support#boy kings and fallen angels#the dark = shoujo satan of the artworks bit really isn't just an aesthetic#towa and argentine deeply respect dark enough to basically swear themselves and their lives to him#even if he straight up doesn't want it. it hurts him. he doesn't Want things to be Like That#but there's nothing else for him with the 'war' against the hikari/krad being an ongoing thing#what doesn't get destroyed dark and dai both save and protect and is in return protected#but those artworks as well aren't as strong as dark#regardless it's stated over n over in the manga the way that dark is linked and bound to the art for the cultural rev#bound to his tamers he's a free spirit but all of himself is completely dependent and tied#a burden too onto daisuke who does can and should be allowed to cry about it sometimes#but he's also kept busy. pushed and whirled from place to place#leroux's phantom had a lasso; for dark his presence enough. jutting into daisuke's life. stealing it away is suffocating enough at times
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Need a "Whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same" kinda love , instead I'm stuck with a suffocating "I need to be around every 5 seconds or I'll throw a tantrum" kinda love
#ridiculous honestly#like spending time with your lover is wonderful#and being deep in love and making time for eachother is great#but having to spend every single second together or they get annoyed is so suffocating#like fucking love me nicely or leave me alone#respect my space or get out of it#just venting idk
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...
#low iron levels and module assessment next week#plus worse mental health & suffocating loneliness#but let's gooooo#I am sorry if you follow me and see these sad posts too often#pretend that you don't see it or if it is too disturbing unfollow me#i mean this in a respectful way#this is one of only two outlets where I can let all the stuff out#i'm not always depressed tho trust me#personal
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honestly it's fine to fucking hate the rich but like I think there's a reason that people are so interested in this: it's not because people CARE. It's because it's a morbid fascination with death and the unknown.
#honestly like this freaks me out because they're either dead from implosion or going to die of hypothermia/suffocation/drowning in the DARK#it's scary! it's scary shit!#but is it a weird morbid fascination? yes#as someone who loves the water and respects the ocean as I know how to fish/boat/sail#you don't FUCK with the water#you respect her. you don't play stupid games#a bitch is struggling; ooc tag#oceangate tw#death tw
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👎
#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy#and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would#lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for#evidently not making it clear enough to her#cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean#and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my#composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im#in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite#and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses#my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her#and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other#friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP..#plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes#got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy ..#and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that#is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help#and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further#and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE#GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING#idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be#friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like#Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me#and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly#like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...
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godddddd i wish my mother wasn't going to live with us again.... even if it's for a short amount of time.
#it was suffocating as fuck when she was here#but then again that might have been because her and my stepdad were constantly arguing#but she would ALWAYS try and get into my personal space and it was just ickkyyyyy#i'm just hoping she's going to be more. idk. respectful since she no longer actually lives here....
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