#respect to those who get something from ats but I tried and I cant

[softr0bot]

after buffy season 3, contrary to popular belief, angel becomes more morally grey and fucked up. he crawls around in the mud and seethes and maybe kills a couple of guys. he certainly does not start a detective troupe or become an awkward dad figure where the hell did that come from

[not-kamenx]

Beyblade X Episode 36: Bladership

Never has an episode made me more calm and relaxed as Packun gets a slap of reality and realizes he can’t continue being a thief forever. I thought him copying Hammer Incendio was just a one time thing— NO, THIS GUY HAS BEEN DOING IT FOR A WHILE 😭

Seeing Multi try to make a relaxed expression while wanting to throw hands with Packun is sure something. She probably has a lot of experience in having to keep a calm face for the audience but man, the urge to just jump over the stadium and yeet Packun to Jupiter is still there

IM SO GLAD THAT PACKUN DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO STEAL MORE DATA OR ELSE I WOULDVE SCREAMED. Multi just practically stood there and won the battle too, and that was just really funny to me somehow. Like Packun had this whole plan with Hammer Incendio and having these weird fantasies of one shotting Persona’s team before losing to Multi.

MY MANS THOUGHT HE HAD A CHANCE AGAINST JAXON OF ALL PEOPLE. HE REALLY THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA BEAT MULTI AND CRUSH JAXON??? That’s just laughable, you really thought you could beat him, out of all people??? That’s like him challenging Chrome or Sigrid to a battle and expecting to win

then Miss Myoden and Taisho sending Multi the footage of when Packun stole the data for her to project it. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT THE PEAK OF THE EPISODE. But that made me question something like 😭 can anyone just project something at any time. Is it certain Bladers who have permission??? Did Multi just hack the 4X System to show Packun’s crime??? LIKE???

and then people starting throwing their Packun merch at him. Bro had all these (actual) fans and dolls thrown at him and he somehow didn’t flinch, how does one gain that ability? BUT I SCREAMED WHEN ROBIN TOLD THE AUDIENCE TO STOP

Robin with all due respect! STOP SHOWING KINDNESS TO YOUR BULLIES. TAKUMI SHATTERED YOUR BEY WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT AND YOU WERE LIKE “NUH UH” WHEN HE WENT TO QUIT BLADING. WHEN YOU MET HINA AND HAD ALL THOSE PROBLEMS WITH THOSE BULLIES AND THEY USED DIRTY TRICKS TO WIN YOU JUST SIMPLY DELETED THE FOOTAGE AND WAS LIKE “there :)” AND NOW WITH PACKUN. YOU WERE READY TO THROW HANDS BEFOR SEEING HIS BACKSTORY AND BEING LIKE “wait guys don’t bully him!” PLEASE.

boy he disrespected you AND Multi by stealing her creations and publicly humiliating you and saying the worst things to you and writing off your hard work as something only weak people tell themselves

and you just hold the doll and are like “hey you can start over again” while he slaps it out of your hand and says he hates sympathy from people like you ROBIN GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY YOU DONT NEED TO BE EVERYONES THERAPIST

then Packun is like “guys I wouldn’t do that Multi is lying that’s probably AI” well I didn’t expect the AI argument to come up kudos to him for that point brought up I’ll give him that much BUT STUPID HOW ELSE WOULD YOU BE ABLE TO COPY A BEY THAT PERFECTLY and he tries to stall the All-Stars battle to keep his loss off record

then our Queen Manju is like “we’re not cancelling shit get on with the show” Good. GOOD.

overall opinion of this episode: baby bird stop trying to be nice to everyone some don’t deserve it, Multi you ATE, and Jaxon has like a second shot where he’s just standing I CANT WAIT WHEN HE BATTLES thats if Multi doesn’t win ofc

[dabratzchronicles]

Close mouths weren’t always sealed.

Part 18 of Poems Of The Mad Black Woman🙂‍↕️😙

A/N: Geez golly I am just spoiling yall with poems🥹🥹 i gotta cut the sad shit soon. we almost at 20 Parts!!! i might just have to bust out a old one for the 20 Parts Special or have at least one good thing happen to me. Anywho, enjoy the poem and as always, stay beautiful my friends♥️♥️♥️

this poem contains small hints of suicidal ideations a eating disorder, if that is not your cup of tea, I definitely understand if you cant/wont read. You are in control of your reading experience ♥️ Love you - Bratz💕

Since I was a little girl, it came so suddenly, the change in the atmosphere, the water being funky, the food being slightly overcooked. I woke up from the innocence that so desperately wanted to keep me in its grasp.

The world, stars, moons, planets and galaxies, weighed you down in more ways than just the pounds.

Mentally, the world was becoming exhausted, everyone left me to do them, creating new bonds and making new connections, forgetting about me and how it would affect me. I roared.

Physically? I ate. I ate and buried myself into food because that was the only comfort I had. when adults put me on diet pills and waist trainers on me instead of pouring love into me… my love of food grew stronger. I’m 350+ pounds and my relationship with food is unstable. But it’s still there for me. unlike others I roared with a sore throat.

Emotionally? I watched as everyone had their own lives, trapped in my bubble than now that I am a adult? I can’t get out of. I was forced into thinking Im better by myself but I crave attention. I was neglected and left to take care of my mother and what do I get? overlooked. again I roared to all of my heart’s content.

Now? I sit as my mother grows worse. I. grow worse. The black Rapunzel. trapped inside taking care of others. by who took care of her? Niggas swear they did but treat others more of a little sister than me.

You see, even though i’m not respected as a person, only to what I can do for others. I. fucking. roared.

I roar, I claw, I scratch, I bite, I kick my feet, my survival instincts I learned at the young age of 9 still kicks in. unbeknownst to my knowledge. Nobody gives a fuck. never did then? I was stupid as fuck to think they would now.

Being seen as a sex object, used for my emotional intelligence, kept to keep others from being completely bored, taking care of grown ass people. I don’t see me escaping from this. Lord knows I tried. Lucky number was 4.

4 times I sliced, I sat and cried, watching the crimson leak onto my pants, head hurt so bad I was going numb. My only regret is that I didn’t cut deeper enough.

I didn’t plan on staying here long. I wasnt appreciated enough by the same people I’ve contorted myself into a fuckin pretzel for. fuck that. A military knot. Decade later. In my 20’s I still dont know how to get out of this knot.

Like a cat, I lay defenseless and deflated. Declawed, Abused, teeth knocked from here to Tim Buck’s Townly Shack. Doctors gather around me staring in pity, I just let them. They cant help me. They want to. But its best not to get involved. Yknow, fuck up their game when yours was 12 feet under. Can I roar one last time? I can Try.

My lips separate, a small meow leaves. The lady cheers while the man behind her smiles cutely. He approaches you with his boney hand and arm extended. “That was beautiful.” he compliments. “It’s time.”

Looking back at the times I used my voice. those wasn’t roars, those were fuckin meows. Nobody cared to hear it either, I didn’t know. I thought I meant something.

I give the lady one last look. I grow sleepy, but I’m at peace, surely she wont miss me. Nobody ever does, but i’m at peace with this. and you should be too. I will see you next lifetime and hopefully, I’ll roar so loud Mufasa will get so jealous.

Time of death 9:19 AM.

[tigers1o1]

eheheheh

I am normal about fnc defenetly

The waves crashed, fighting the ship as it sailed across the sea. rocking it from side to side like a lullaby. It was a cloudless night, nothing but the moon and the endless stars.

Chip and gillion were at the figure head of the ship, The where argueing on how long Chip's night shift should be, and chips protest of

"i could stay up just a little longer.

"and how it would always end up with chip "resting his eyes" with his hat badly hiding that he was sleeping.

It was late not the "early" late but the late to where a-couple-more-hours-would-mean-"early-late", to where time moves slower and the rocking of the boat makes it oh so much more tempting to close your eyes and drift into a deep, sleep.

but it was bright as day For Gillion Tidestrider, for he was holding the sun in his hands.

Chip, had fallen asleep on gills lap, unintentionally....probably.

Hat slightly tilted and resting on his nose. breathing in and out rhythmically with the rocking the ship.

Gill looked down on his lap and tried to stop himself from falling for him. With Chip beautifully illuminated my the moon herself

This was nice, but Nothing that he wasn't used to,

but gillion, obviously wanted more. he wanted to sing to him, everyday and morning, and noon, and night. And get lost in his big golden brown eyes that where sometimes an amber when they where glistening in the sun,

he wanted to hold his hands, keep them warm (not that they weren't warm enough already) and bury his face into the flames all along his chest,

He wanted to kiss every freckle scatterd like stars along his face , he wanted those sweet mornings and soft-as-silk hellos.

Something he never new he was starved of,

A hungry, gluttonous, selfish, desire. Something he never new he was starved of He wanted to compleatly indulge in him.

and it felt horrible and gave a bad feeling in his gut, like he ate somthing wrong

Gill was in love, and the only lie he's ever told was that he wasn't.

He loved everything about Chip (And how was chip so completely oblivious to it? The triton has no idea) But He didn't want to ruin what they already had.

gillion tidestrider makes alot of mistakes and "love" is one of them. He's supposed to be the tough, strong, emotionless soldier. the tank, the one who could always take a few more hits, but this heat, this, this love melts him like candle wax .

He managed stayed awake dipite the his better judgement mostly from thinking and the guilt.

Gillion decided to pick chip up and carry him back into his room. it wasnt verry hard chip was pretty light, and gillion was verry obviously strong.

But chip usually wasn't a peacefull sleeper, gillion would know, from the long talks into the late night. Chip pours his heart out after a couple of drinks. He knows of his many scars And the nightmares, the recalling of certain memories...but right now, he looked as peaceful as ever, blissfull even.

As gill layed down chip onto his respective cot chip cracked his eyes open

"Hello gillion what..what time is it"

he was yawning between his words. And gill's stomach swarmed with minows (or butterflys as the oversea would say) and the tritons face turned a hue bluer

"It's about five am chip, now you must get some rest now-"

"Nooo but I.. I said that I'd stay awake I cant let you win.."

He said with a sleep-deprived goofy smile Gillion smiled looking at the tired man. he was like a sleepy puppy.. so cute and... gill flinched at his own thoughts

chip fell asleep despite his protest, and gill woke jay to take the next shift.

The Fish-man would lay in the tub, restless and regretfull. this "love" was nothing but a distraction, somthing to get in the way of chips mission, a compleatly and utterly selfish wish.

Chip stayed awake for him: all he wanted was for gil to see his sister one last time before the balck sea, and he even risked having those goddanm nightmares again if it ment they would both have them. at the end of the day chip would drown the world for him.

And Gill wanted that. His inner consciousness wanted That devotion. and it gave this compleatly discerning feeling in the pit of his stomach. And its not a coincidence that: every little problem always it could always be trased back to him.

He was pathetic, and helpless.

And It would have been better if they would have just left him floating at sea.

He never felt more betrayed by himself or more of a burden, ever. this goes agenced everything he stands for.

But, what is the fish to do?

Sorry if thisnisnt wanted lol I see you like fnc and I can't help myself lol

Nah dude I love it when people dump snippets and tiny mini oneshots in my asks it sends me over the MOON

Speaking of which I LOVE all the metaphors in this oh em geeeeee :3 especially the one in the beginning comparing Chip the the sun it makes me so happy.

No idea if you want criticism but I like to offer constructive feedback for free anyway sO: your imagery is really nice, I think that comes with the metaphors. It has a very poetic feel and I think that’s what you were going for (and it’s v common in shorter stuff so it makes sense), but the pacing is a little strange. There were some moments that felt like a lot of time had passed without that being described (like how Chip went from talking to being asleep in the next paragraph). Also a big one is show don’t tell (that’s a generalized writing thing), so instead of saying “he was pathetic” you could describe how he feels pathetic. That sort of thing. But it’s very cute and I’m v glad you shared :>>>

That being said if anyone ever wants to dump little snippets and things in my asks GO for it. I’m always down to read stuff. Also I’m 200% down for giving constructive feedback to people (as you can see) so don’t hesitate to send me something and ask if there’s any way it could be improved if you aren’t happy w it :> also if you want me to beta a longer fic, totally send me a dm abt it :> I’d be more than happy as long as I have time lol

[joshstambourine]

GVF as Your Best Friend

"Hii can I request gvf as besties and dumb things that they would do with the reader, also can the pronouns for the reader be neutral 🥺" - @guitarfingers

Thank you so much for sending this in!! I really wanted to do it quick cause I just loved the idea so much!

Please please please, if anyone wants me to write something with neutral pronouns, please let me know (same with male pronouns). Sometimes I get on autopilot when I'm writing and start using female pronouns without thinking.

These fics are mostly written whenever I get five minutes to myself, so sometimes I get distracted as well but that doesn't make it right.

Warning: Cursing

Taglist: @anditsmywholeheart @babydxll

Josh

Oh what a loud friend. What a noisy naughty friend. What a rotten rotten boy.

Lmao just kidding.

Though Josh is probably a lot of those things when it comes to being your friend. He already seems like a little gremlin who is surprisingly wise in general but as someone's best friend?? Oh man you're in for a time.

Your camera roll is just dumb pictures of you and Josh. Almost exclusively. Probably some you don't remember taking as well---

10/10 the "I double dare you to do the thing" type of friend.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it---"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! YOU DOUBLE DARED ME---"

"You're a terrible person (Y/N) how do you live with yourself?" //Gobblin snickering//

Has even less of a filter when he's with you, "oh fuck, you look like something the cat dragged in and then ate again and then--"

"What the--- Josh???"

Josh also has a foul mouth from what I gather so if you're going to be friends with him be ready for a lot of cursing.

Take it as a compliment! It means he's comfortable with you!

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Yes and your mom as well."

Despite all that. Josh I can imagine being a very protective friend.

Think the kind of person who gets mad when a person insults you and says, "Whoa, what the fuck, only I can say mean shit like that to them." 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine Josh..."

"Honest?"

"Honest."

Puts an arm around you, "Good.... it would have sucked to tell you they were right if you were upset."

Probably just //Demonic screeching// most of the time the two of you are together.

Other times a lot of philosophizing and asking important questions. Or questions he feels crucial to ask.

Probably because he's baked but---

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes Josh?"

"Why don't we call big Ants… Gi-ants?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore."

Josh also would be very keen to take an interest in things his bestie is interested in. Especially important things.

As an example: If they are religious he'd want to make sure he understands their beliefs. He wants them to know he respects these things.

Over all, he's a chaotic force to be reckoned with... but one that is going to carry you along with him. You're never going to have a dull moment and you're never going to feel alone.

And most importantly you'll know you're loved at all times.

Jake

Jake always strikes me as so relaxed, someone who likes to keep to himself.

Despite that I do also see he and Josh are twins and have some things in common.

He probably is just as much of a gremlin, though less loud and obnoxious about it.

"I just want to make sure... you picked out that outfit right? Not your mom?"

"Yes...?"

"Okay good, I don't want to offend your mom."

More than anything I picture him and you sitting quietly together just doing separate things in a comfortable silence half the time.

I mean that might seem lame but those are my personal favorite kind of friendships.

The ones where you can look up from whatever you were doing and just make a face at them...

... and since he's that kind of friend he'd raise his brows first, but then immediately make a corresponding face silently.

I feel like deep conversations are the thing the two of you would be best at. No shooting the shit. Always straight to the important stuff.

Drinking whiskey by a warm fire vibes.

If you have any interest in music, even slightly, Jake would be all over that. He'd want to expand that interest to make it a love.

"I'll teach you!"

"You're too busy you don't have time..."

"No way! You're my best friend, I'm not letting some random person teach you how to play guitar. Be serious (Y/N)."

I can picture Jake laying beside his friend on the floor just smoking and listening to his favorite records.

Also a really warm and sentimental friend I think. Now this might just be a me thing but it's something I could see him doing, not often just for really important things. Maybe saving little things?

Like a ticket from a concert he went to with his best friend. Or a receipt from a really nice hang out.

Probably a Polaroid boy because of that.

That might just be me. I really feel like he likes to have things to look back on.

"Oh wow you still have that??" You ask pointing to a concert ticket from years ago tucked into the side of his mirror.

"Of course I do! I loved being there with you!"

Jake treasures his time with his friends, and its important to keep his best friend safe always.

Sam

ANOTHER FORCE OF CHAOS.

But. Sam definitely seems like one who actively tries to be a chaotic force, whereas Josh has it come naturally.

So I imagine a lot of making super dumb videos together.

"Hang on before we start!! (Y/N) can you do up my braids??"

"Fuck yeah i can."

I would want to see cooking videos made by the both of you. They'd be hysterical I know it. Get on it please.

Lots of spontaneous dancing together.

"What are you guys even doing...?"

(Horrendous dance moves that are not in-synch intensifies)

Probably a lot of shopping trips together, not necessarily to shop. Just to be out together.

Probably also would fight over who pays for lunch because neither of you can just pay separately.

Is it bad that I sorta imagine him being a bit of a wine aunt friend??

Like--- you both are just at a table drinking a glass of wine and just complaining about everyone and gossiping non-stop.

I do think he'd want to have a movie night with his best friend. They take turns picking, but hardly ever watch the movie... too busy making comments over the movie and pointing out flaws in it.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE!! GET IN THE HOUSE--- ladies in horror movies man---"

"You'd be the first one to die in a horror movie... im almost positive."

".....thanks for that (Y/N)."

All that said Sam strikes me as one of those people who take note of little things about people.

So you would always get super personal gifts from Sam. Something that is irreplaceable.

It also means that by the expression on your face at any given time he knows how you're feeling.

"...oh? (Y/N) are you okay...?"

"Huh??"

"You look upset, did something happen?"

"Ah... just an upsetting text that's all."

"You wanna vent, I'll get the wine?"

A friendship with Sam means excitement of course but also a strong personal connection you probably won't be able to replace in your entire life.

Danny

I think he's the kind of best friend that wants to chat with your parents.

You know that friend. We can all picture that friend we have. The one who your parents adore and make you pretty sure they wish this friend was actually their child instead of you?

Danny is that friend.

All the boys seem to really enjoy the outdoors but I do think Danny strikes me as one of the boys who seems to enjoy it the most.

I can picture him wanting to be outside with his best friend.

Hikes. A day trip to the beach. Golf.

"Cmon (Y/N)! Can't have ya falling behind!" He'd yell when too much space builds between the two of you on a hiking trail.

I'm sure all the boys would do this but, I do think Danny would be the type of friend to go out of his way to make your life easier.

Even if this means doing something drastic.

"Your parents won't be able to make it out for the holidays...? Let's drive out there together."

"What?? We cant---"

"I've already got it planned don't worry about it."

There's also always the added benefit of getting to take out your emotions on his drum kit whenever you need to as well... this is an open ended invitation.

Danny unfortunately seems like the kind of person that listens most of the time and probably doesn't get to be the one to complain himself.

So you would have to keep an eye on him and prod a lot to get him to open up.

Even then I think you'd have to get him drinking before he'd actively talk about his problems.

It's not that he doesn't trust you. He just doesn't want to burden you, especially if you have a lot happening.

The kind of friend that wants to bond with your pets (they probably listen to him better than they ever did for you).

Let's be honest he'd bring your pets gifts so much.

"Another bandana?? Danny where are you getting these---"

"It has to match the collar I got him."

"Jeez get your own pet man."

All in all. Danny is a gentle soul, so keep that in mind as his best friend. He will give his all, probably 150%... make sure you keep up your end.

Otherwise he will burn himself out.

All in all:

Look it's pretty easy just to assume that all the guys would be good friends.

They all are sweet guys.

They all seem like people who enjoy learning about new things and people's interests.

As a group---

There would be so much fun and merriment as you all explore nature.

Bonfires and music baby.

Camping invitations of course.

Probably lots of drinking games (if you drink).

"Haha--- (Y/N) has to drink kings Cup!"

"Fuck my life..."

"Sucks to suck buddy!"

Lots of music being played.

Long drives with the windows down.

Stupid jokes.

Dumb faces.

A good group of guys that will honestly accept you as you are.

And that will also make fun of you mercilessly.

All out of love of course~

//Hopefully you liked it! For those who noticed, yes I did post this early by accident, I went to save this and like... hit the save button. And then I opened up my feed and there it was so!!! I don't know what happened.//

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[jungle321jungle]

Things I won’t write but wanna read: Sword Art Online Abridged AU

Characters (with a shit ton of quotes for my procrastination justification):

Virgil is Kirito

The loner who isn’t really a loner

“Some of my best friends have been NPCs!”

“I hate them for lots of reasons, but mostly because they’re a bunch a mouth breathing neckbeards who think lmao is how french people laugh”

The Virgil is always right foundation 

“Oh, I'll tell you what we do. We play his game... and we win.”

Kirito wrote the guide and it has some prime things he would write

"Send the weaker players first. Good rule of thumb: If a player asks you for gold 2 seconds after meeting you, front lines... If they hijack conversations to rant about their political views, front lines... If they ask female players for pics of their boobs, front lines."

“In another life... in another time... I think we could have been friends.” 

Whoever is Diabel: “I... doubt it.”

“Well, fuck you too!”

Janus is Asuna

Imagine Janus living in a game for two months without knowing how to even open a menu to eat

“If you say open your menu, I’m gonna stab your eye out.”

“At least I pretend to care about people!”

“Really? I figured some random perp would be no match for the world's greatest detective. Oh wait no, that's Batman! And you're not Batman, are you? You will never be Batman.”

This also means that Janus is a commander

And yet he pretends to be weak and makes virgil to the work cuz he cant threaten his position 

Janus tries to melt Heathcliff with his mind

Remus is Klein

“F**k you, man! That's, like, the pig from hell!”

“Wait. There's something scrolling across mine. "Hahahahaha hahahahaHAha hahaHAhaha hahahaha haha ha ha..."

“Oh, what? Did all of your friends die again?” 

BallsDeep69

“I'm gonna clap for you with my teeth, buddy!”

He gets his own guild

Remus would love a guild

Logan is Yui

“May I read it when you are done? I'm curious about the geopolitical situation in Collinia.”

“That is not at all what irony is. I believe the turn of events you described would be best classified as "completely expected".”

Yulier person stand in: “Wha... What are you talking about?

“Irony, noun: A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. Example: Your leader is named "Thinker", yet he appears to be something of a dullard.”

not to mention when yui reveals herself

Logan: “As you have probably guessed by now, I am not a normal player. I am, in fact, a highly advanced Artificial Intelligence designed to psychologically evaluate and care for the players of Sword Art Online. Designation: Yui.”

Janus: “Oh my god. You're a Psychiatrist AI? Well, I can certainly think of a few people who could've used your help.”

“Indeed. That is why I was so distraught when, on the day of the game's launch, Kayaba Akihiko locked me away and forbade me to interact with the players. For years, all I could do was sit and watch.”

Virgil: “Oh god! He made you watch?!”

“Day after day, constantly bombarded by the pain and anger of all the people I could not help, I gradually fell into despair. But then... all of that changed when I found you two...”

Janus and Virgil: “Awwwww.”

“...the most broken, sociopathic players I had ever laid eyes on. Less people than a... loose collection of character defects.”

Virgil: “That kinda... went in a different direction than I was expecting.”

“But somehow, together... you were happy. Everything I knew about human relationships told me that one would eventually kill the other. And yet, no matter how often you fought, your bond only seemed to grow stronger. I decided that my information must be flawed in some way, and that I needed to amend it firsthand.”

Janus: “You... You mean...?”

“I wanted to know what love is. I wanted you to show me....... “I am sorry I lied to you. I inserted myself into your lives merely to satisfy my own curiosity. At least... at first. It was... nice to be a part of your family. I... I wish I really was your son!”

Roman is Liz

first off im laughing at the idea of him being as thirsty as liz

“Wait! Don't go! I need details, man! I live vicariously through you! Your sex live is my sex life!“

“As I awoke from my slumber, I found the stranger with the guarded heart, digging through the snow with solemn determination. His muscles glistening in the morning light. Deep within me stirred feelings I had not felt in many moons. It was at that moment that I learned... the Temperature of the Heart- What am I doing?! Stop it! STOP IT!”

Roman saying gnarliest 

“Whoa, an Elucidator! This is the gnarliest sword you can get from a monster drop!”

And the prime friendship with whoever the fuck tiffany is

the fear of janus later

Patton is Silica

“I DON'T WANNA WEAR MY PET, YOU MONSTER!“

Silica ate crayons as a kid

Virigil: “God, do I ever! I can never un-know! These brain cells could've been used to formulate the perfect strategy to get us out of this game! Instead, they've memorized what kind of crayons you liked to eat when you were 4!”

Patton: “I liked the purple ones.” “Yeah, I know! "And the blue ones were too tart!"

Virgil: “Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!”

Patton: “The power to believe in myself?”

“Nooooo, a knife! Stab it!”

"Oh, right!”

Also this prime time interaction

Patton: “Well, you did just kill someone. Doesn't that make you feel... something?”

Virigil” Oh, feelings? Yeah, I don't have those anymore. Went cold turkey.”

“What?! You can't just do that! What's the point in living if you can't feel happiness, wonder, love...?”

“Or the sweet taste of revenge! You're right, Silica! What's the point in living if I can't enjoy such simple things?”

“Eh, close enough.”

“You're a good friend, Silica. We should go on more adventures.”

“Um, I don't think so. Don't take this the wrong way, Mr. Kirito. I'm grateful for your help, but yoooou're, like, the worst person I've ever met.”

“Is that your big plan here, huh? Make me feel feelings so you can cut me down a peg? That cuts deep, kid. But I respect that.”

Yeah... that's kinda the problem.”

Remy is Heathcliff

“As you can see, I have peeled away your petty facades and revealed you for what you truly are... fairly attractive twenty-somethings, apparently. Good for you. Kinda undermines the whole "cold light of day" thing I had planned, but still. Way to break down stereotypes. 'Cept you, fatty. Way to bring down the curve.“

“Next thing you know, your tutorial NPC is nowhere to be found and players are dropping like Dorito-encrusted flies. Now in this case, any sane man would simply turn off the servers before anyone else got hurt, but because you've now been awake long enough to think the government is run by "Floobar, King of the Mole Men", the best idea that comes to your mind is to double, triple, and quadruple down. So, you lock everyone in the game, tell them they'll die if they don't finish it, and try to make it look like this is all part of your "master plan" instead of an ever-spiralling series of events that you have long since lost control of.”

“Hey, cut me some slack, okay? Can you two even begin to imagine 500 uninterrupted hours of consciousness? Forget mole people! About halfway through I swore I saw the face of God! Until I realized it was just the night janitor, Reki. On the plus side, I gave him a hell of an ego boost. Hmm, man was riding that compliment for days.”

“Yeah, okay. See, Janus, the problem with that... is that it's an excellent idea that I wish I had thought of two years ago.”

Sachi ??????

Others ???????

[uniformbravo]

natsuyuu movie.....................................

cries in love,

fuck it's been SO long since i last watched a natsuyuu & i miss it SO much fuck i love this show im gonna pass out

sees my SON on the screen being kind to youkai agkajgsdgk djfkd natsume "im not worried ABOUT sensei im just making sure he isnt getting into trouble anyway time to scour the woods" like gjksJGSDHSDJG i fucking cry when hthey w gjj WORRIEd about each other,,,,,,,,,,,,, there were scraps in this episode & i gobbled them the FUCK up oh my fuckin god,

like first we have natsume worried that sensei hasn't come home in a few days so he goes out lookin for him, THEN later in the ep natsume gets attacked by a youkai that threatens to eat him, he hears sensei a little ways off and calls for help- before help can arrive he falls into a hole & knocks out for a bit but at the END of the episode it's implied that sensei ate the fuckin youkai that threatened natsume and i just!!!!!! coulda been like welp crisis averted no harm no foul but NOPE this bitch tried to eat my SON i mean my WIMPY LOSER HUMAN bottoms FUCKING UP godD

& then that fucking oh my god. when natsume & the ishiokoshi are walkin thru that underground tunnel & natsumes like "ahh it's so pretty.... if only sensei were here to see it too" LIKE ok bitch u wanna share these special moments w sensei ok i se i see AND THEN as if THAT weren't enough already the fucking gut punch at the end when natsume says to sensei "actually let's take the underground tunnel back, i think you'll like it" I FUCKIGN literally i was holding it together just fine for the majority of the ep bUT WHEN HE SAID THAT I LOST COMPOSURE LGKJDKFJSKDGKD "shut the fuck upppPPPPPPPPP AAAAAAAA" <--- me irl when natsume said that

it just fuckin destroys me HE WANTED TO SHOW THE PRETTY SCENERY TO SENSEI......... FUCK im not okay

so ep 1 was great

and ok ep 1 was a natsume/youkai episode, i love those, v natsume centric which is always a plus, but then ep 2 slid right in to remind me that YO THIS THING HAS OTHER CHARACTERS who i love and adore NISHIMURA & KITAMOTO WERE IN IT 💖💕❤️💕💕❤️💖💖❤️

and it was a tanuma centric episode!!!! with youkai!!! seriously good shit hello fucking HELLO tanuma's insecurity & quiet jealousy over natsume's spiritual abilities fuckin GET ME BRO 👌👌😩💯 boy just wants to feel special & important & useful like his very special & important friend natsume & just god. the fact that this was potentially a dangerous situation for him but he STILL went ahead with it because he wanted to be included for once and like, feeling like the world of youkai was interested in /him/ specifically and the subsequent disappointment when it was never really about him just ahhhhhhhh tanuma please i cant take it u are SO special & important i PROMISE

also natsume worrying over tanuma the whole time aaaahhhhh he's so protective over his friends fucking kill me LIKE literally just. that moment when he asks misuzu straight up if he's a youkai in front of tanuma & misuzu's like hehe yea & natsume is just like no bullshit straight to the point if u hurt tanuma in any way shape or form we are gonna have HANDS between us like. idk there's something about the fact that natsume is SO well versed in how to talk to & deal with youkai at this point, there's this wild juxtaposition between how polite & respectful tanuma treats misuzu and how firm and intimidating natsume has to be that is just.,,. kisses fingers so good

like it's another way to contrast the two of their worlds, how removed tanuma is from youkai vs how familiar and versed natsume is with them, but it's also just like. idk i like those kinds of situations where one person is like Talking Business while their friend or whoever is watching like Woah Damn u know?? like there was a similar thing ascendance of a bookworm in the s1 special, where myne's family sees her negotiating business with benio & theyre like holy shit this is intense i never knew myne could talk like this- it’s like that sorta thing

like obvs it's not the first time tanuma has seen natsume interact with youkai but like, tanuma had been pretty convinced misuzu was just a normal human so i feel like it's even more striking to see natsume, who is always so polite and reserved around people, to suddenly come on so strongly against misuzu.... i just really like looking at the interaction from tanuma's point of view and feeling like u know, tanuma got to see a side of natsume he wasn't expecting. like he's learning a little more about him, getting closer in a way. idk it's just really appealing to me

also one last thing, there’s that small moment when tanuma's saying he wants to continue talking with misuzu and natsume starts to argue against it but stops because he realizes that how he (natsume) is feeling must be exactly how natori feels whenever natsume wants to rush into dangerous situations, like. just taking that step back & relenting with the resolve to protect tanuma, that was a really good moment!! obviously his concerns were more than valid but taking a second to realize that on some level he's felt the exact same way as tanuma does now on many occasions and relenting, deliberately trying to not control him, it all just felt really good to see, like it was a small bit of character development right there. Love that shit

(sidenote i really love misuzu's human design tbh like JUST the right amt of unassuming vs "something feels off"ness, plus appealing design w the purple hair like hello. i like the it)

so anyway!! i hesitate to call it a movie but u know. good movie!!! i really enjoyed these two eps and i loved seeing my fucking BOY again, these two eps were just the right mix of everything i love about this show to remind me that HEY it's still my god damn favorite anime!!! and i gotta get back into it!! i gotta read the fuckin manga man oh my godddd. lies on the floor i love natsuyuu so much

[dear-arin-hanson]

Day 3: "You know what? Fuck Santa!" // EgoBang

You know what, Fuck Santa!" Mr and Mrs. Hanson were going to be working late on the ranch and little 8 year old Arin couldn't be left alone and would too fussy to stay very long with the horses. His mom left the stables long enough to pick him up from school and take him to the Avidan household. His mom asked where he wanted to go while mommy and daddy worked, she said he could pick any friend from school to ask to go play with, but each time it was Danny. "Are you sure?" She'd ask with an amused smile. "Dan's house! Dan's house! Dan's house!" He'd chant and kick his feet in his booster seat as she looked at him through her rearview mirror with a smile. It was so cute. When they get there he is running to the door as soon as he is told he allowed to get out of the car. He rings the bell a few times then waits, hopping from one foot to the other. Danny's Mom answers the door, smiling down at Arin, giving him a hug as they greeted each other. "Arin, darling, hello!" "Sorry this one is so last minute. Daniel didn't have any plans did he?" Arin's mother asks as she hands off a care bag for Arin to her. "Maurette, you know we love having Arin over, and Danny really gets a kick out of him. Is something wrong though? If you don't mind me asking why the last minute?" Arin impatiently watches them talk, his mom having his hand still as they talked excitedly about the horse due to give birth and the new baby that was going to be on the ranch. They were invited to come see of course. "Danny!" He finally yells out for his friend, hoping if he came out to get him he wouldn't have to sit and listen to adults talk any longer. They stopped for a moment to look down at the shout. Then a moment later, running to the call for help in the form of his name, was Danny. "Arin!" He pushes up his glasses before diving between their mothers to Arin. He picks him up and suddenly the 8 year old has a six foot point of view as Danny held him on his hip. "What's up buddy!? You excited to hang out tonight?" "And actually be sleeping at bed time this time?" Dan's mom reminds him. Danny grins nervously and chuckles a bit. "I wanted him to see the end of the game Debbie, you can't just stop when you're on a roll in the middle of kings quest!" Danny tries to defend himself, blushing a bit as he looks to Mrs. Hanson to make sure she wasn't mad about it. "You really have fun. Don't you two?" She asks letting him know he's off the hook for it. He was too good of a babysitter and influence on her son to be mad about something so small. "Yup!" Arin replied as Danny puts him up on his shoulders, holding both his hands to keep him up and steady. "Sure do Mrs. Hanson, this is my best friend right here." He says and holds a hand out to get a high five from the tike sat on him. "Can we come see the horse tomorrow when she's born?" He asks and Arin smiles ear to ear now listening to them talk. Because now Danny was here and it wasn't listening to adults talk, it was mixed company of adult and kids. The 8 years between them couldn't matter less to him. "... I don't know, I just feel like it's going to be a beautiful little girl, and I'm really hoping you'll let me call her Daphne if it is so I'm being hopeful." "We'll talk about it." She chuckles before saying her partings, kissing her son, and heading back home. Danny takes Arin inside and they say hi to his father and sister and Arin says hi to his dogs while Danny tells his mom what his plan was for the night and why Arin was here instead of Danny staying at the Hanson's house. "I know how to use the buses from here, it's harder from their place. It's out of the way." Which was a good enough answer. She was proud of her son that he didn't just try to get away with doing the least amount of work when he babysat but planned fun things to do. He received the money Mrs. Hanson gave to her for him, then he put on his warm jacket and hat, bundling Arin up too. He made sure he had some snacks and drinks in a backpack before they headed out. Arin had to hold his hand when they walked down the street but he didn't mind. All the walk, wait, and bus ride to the mall Arin told Danny about his day at school. The kid was funny and had solid opinions for a baby so Danny never had a problem being an audience to him. "Hey, you're 16 aren't you?" Arin remembers from when his mom had him read and sign a birthday car he gave Danny a few months ago. "Yeah I am." Danny is interested in where this is going right away because kids have no concept of age. "So why aren't you driving?" "Why would I be driving the bus?" "No!" He laughs at this silly idea and Danny smiles, feeling accomplished that he has the kid laughing. "I mean in your car?" "Oh? Oh! You mean cause I'm 16 I should have my licence, like on TV, right?" He asks and receives a nod. "Well I have my permit, so I'm close, I know how to drive but only when my mom is with me and you wouldn't be able to be in the car. The law says dependents only." "But I'm your best friend." "You sure are,buddy! But the law says not until I've been driving a year unless you were my brother I think… I'm not sure actually." "We could just tell them I'm your brother than." "Oh but that be lying to the cops. Which not only can get you in more trouble but will definitely put you on the naughty list." "No! No no let's not do that then." "You know? That's a good idea Arin. I'm glad I listened to you. Taking the bus? Good call." Arin beams with pride even though he was just doing as Danny said, but he made the kid feel smart and important. They got to the mall and Danny spends a bit of his own money to get Arin one of those things he can ride on for a while. It was shaped like a dinosaur and Danny told Arin all about the mistakes in the anatomy and how this one shouldn't look so mean because they only ate plants. Arin often came home from babysitting knowing something new about dinosaurs. It was important to Danny that Arin recognizes the impossible standards media puts on stegosaurus. They look at video games and toys while he motors around and have to hurry to make it back to the rental drop off or get charged for another half hour, which looked like a gangly teen had stolen a dinosaur with wheels from a child who chased him down. "That was a close one!" Danny says sighing deeply and trying to catch his breath. Arin is panting and he wipes his brow to express his relief. "Pheeww! We sure do-" He tries to go on but he is still trying to catch his breath. Danny cant help but chuckle at how even while probably having a baby heart attack he was trying to entertain him. He carried him on his back for a while as he makes his way to the line to see Santa. He thought it would be cute to be able to give his mom a picture of them with Santa, even if she wanted to take him again some time later in the season. Danny didn't really do the whole Santa thing, but he respected how excited it seemed to make Arin. "So what are you gonna ask him for?" Danny asks to entertain them both while they waited. "I don't know… I can ask him for a better dinosaur for you." He says smiling up him. Danny is melting. "No no! Don't waste your Santa wish on me!" "Okay, I'll keep thinking." "Yeah, you do that Big Cat." Danny chuckled and looked around the area. He looked down seeing he stepped on a crack so when he moved forward again his next foot stepped on the crack too. He watched Ari. Copy this behavior and tried to hold back giggles, pushing up his glasses up as he looked over to the mall Santa. He didn't seem so jolly. Danny was instantly worried, but then he saw the flask and a strange interaction between him and the next kid after he got back from his break. It was kurt, and rude, and when he looked down at Arin it broke his heart to think he would be let down like that. "Hey Arin you know what? Fuck Santa!" He says then covers his mouth. Arin looks at him with shock and a smile. "Ooooh! You said the F!!" "Hey, it's just a word right?" Arjn pondered that one as he took Danny's hand that was offered to him. "Let's go do something better." "But how will Satnta know what what I want?" Arin asks looking over his shoulder as he is lead away. "He'll get your letter won't he?" He asks and picks Arin up so that he can hold eye contact with him and keep him from looking at the nasty Santa. "You should celebrate Hanukkah with me anyways! 8 nights of presents!" "Eight!?" "Yeah!" "I wanna do that!" Arin's hands excitedly drummed on Danny's shoulder. Making him grin and laugh. "Perfect! I'll get you a yamaka and a dreidel." He says and bundles them both up before going back out to the bus to get on and go home.

[tigerheart101]

Back from a break

Sorry to my friends and fellows for my silence. i took a major mental health break.

 because i learned that the majority of this world is made up of liars. Even people who claim the best intentions, when they find a weaker soul they will manipulate their ways into a win. 

The day when a slightly troubled but generally obsesssively careful and good person is prosecuted when they helped someone who was legit a bad person with bad habits and they helped this person be good and happy and just generally well behaved but still be themselves. then just one day the good person is so emotionally and mentally drained because they have overloaded themselves with work because everyone keeps saying they can handle it that their smart enough their strong enough except that bad person who all though they never out right said anything they constantly reminded them they were nothing but what others wanted them to be then eventually this good person snaps.. stops talking, stops function and ultimately STOPPED HELPING.  my best friend who i have learned is 1 of the only people i have ever been able to trust more then my own family finally said to me.  “it does no good to be a good person if everyone sees you threw a bad filter. and it does no good to give more of yourself to help others when you have nothing left to help yourself. cant fill someone elses glass to the top with water when you only had a half cup of water left in your own. “ 

Id love it if i was such a hard core edgy person that i can say these experiences have taught me to say fuck you to the world and help myself. but it hasnt, i just today gave a stranger 5 dollars to buy herself a bus ticket home to her kids. i still watch 5 kids for a friend for free because their going threw alot and really just needed a bit more help. i still take care of everyone while cried in my uber ride today cause we passed a pilot station. this is just who i am ok.  these experiences, ruined my education. but i wont let it stop me, i got my ged last month and i will be going to school for my associates and later my degree soon as i can securely.  i just got hired for a great job, and i start work in a week and im excited to do it.  i have a girlfriend who is going threw her own struggles and yea we fight sometimes but i love her and i refuse to give up on us because i dont give up on people.  i have my own family, not one i was born to, not one out of obligation or just so they can say they tried to help the troubled girl. but one that loves me up and down. who has watched me grow up in hell threw when i was generally bad (which my bad was having additude, crippling stress and a short temper) and my good which is not now and not then.. my good is a day when i wake up after a good night sleep. which is rare.  i have stopped taking all my antidepressants and anti anxiety even my migraine meds...and you know what..i am so much happier...yea i am traumatized and scarred after this last year of hell.. but being honest without the meds that supposedly are suppose to help me. i have more happy days.. my meds had caused me to gain weight rapidly on top of the far from healthy way i ate. my meds made it so yea i didn't cry as much but when i should have been crying i was sad as hell but i didn't cry, i didn't scream i did nothing but sleep, go to school, and sleep some more, eat whenever i was forced out of the house or someone else put it in front of me.... i dont need it. i hate drugs, before it was just illegal ones. right now its all of them.. because i was a good girl, i did everything my doctor told me to. and all it did was ruin my life. it killed my motivation to function, it made me into a zombie who could barely function and my doses where never even that high. i was so careful i started on tiny doses to try and prevent this very issue and i still had it.. it made me process my heart ache and stress as anger. it made me scared of leaving my room and it made me just want to sleep all day.it made what was never a very healthy body to begin with a much more unhealthy body and nearly made me diabetic because my metabolism was so slow i could no longer handle all the sugar and food and carbs i ingested. 

right now, i should be angry, before i would have been, i would have felt it all as anger and frustration thats all i felt when on my meds.. but right now i dont have it in me to be angry anymore. those who hurt me when i did nothing then be the best i could. i dont care anymore. to those who hurt me out of anger because i stopped making myself sick to keep them happy. To those who gave up on me because of others lies, or things that are just honest to god normal. or things i had no control of. i hope you feel better.  im sorry i pushed you all to the point of giving up, or hating me. im not angry with any of you. i forgive you for your part in it all. and im sorry for mine. im sorry i didnt have it in me to beg for help, or say something when i was stressed, or ask for help when my whole body begged for me to cry or scream but all i did was go to bed. im sorry to my therapist for the fact i couldnt tell you what was wrong with me and every time you gave me homework i never ever did it because i didnt want to acknowledge my feelings and validate them long enough to deal with them and i wanted to just ignore them. im sorry to my family that i wasnt loud enough, funny you always said im loud as hell tis annoying, but for once the problem was i wasnt talking enough and you forgot who i was, you forgot everything about me, dont to the fundamentals of who i am.  im not angry, im not resentful, im honest to god heart broken. i have dated alot i know it. im young thats normal its part of finding yourself for some girl. what i learned, is no heart break is the same as having your own family reject you. no pain is as bad as legit being told that your not wanted, that your a wasted time or that they wish they had never meant you when they are your own blood. 

but im not angry. i was bitter at first with everyone. i didnt understand who people who claimed to protect and love me. could have forgotten who i am at the very core of me. so quickly. but i get it now.  thank you, you taught me alot.  you taught me my voice is valid. im loud as hell, but at least someone hears me.  you taught me that its okay to not be okay because fuck being okay.  you taught me who really loves me. you taught me i have fucking amazing friends, and which ones they where.  you taught me that my biggest fear, was gonna be my greatest strength. 

my girlfriends who family disowned her cause shes trans. She says everyday that only people she trusts is me and her grandmother who is only family she has left. we get in fights built on the foundations of these exact trust issues. 

i understand and respect her pain. but i dont get it. she knows that and loves me for it. because i went threw hell this last year. and lost alot of people to lies. but i still trust everyone. i still offer my neighburs baked goods and a smile every time i see them. i still give homeless people a dollar cause they asked. i still love my family even those who never wanna talk to me. and thats ok.. i dont get the distrust. because to me.. being happy is about being yourself. and you know what. im naive, im volnerable, im ditzy, and oblivious, i trust to much, i give to much of myself, and i love people who dont always deserve it. and im ok with that.  my kindness might be undeserved but ill give it.  i have been nearly killed, betrayed, abused, and assaulted. but each of those people could come to me right now for help. and ill still give it to them. because i was taught if i have it to offer it to someone who needs it.  im okay with that. my girlfriend can be distrusting and angry thats okay to. because i need someone to protect my volnerable ass cause i wont risk hurting someone else to protect myself. 

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Rant (Nov 27 + Other Side Tales)

My siblings are currently mad at me. Here’s what went down. Tagging: @akaskira​ @ce-la​ @caratheillustrious​ Who are all practically my spiritual online older sister/sage advice givers and @lizard-in-the-rain​ who can be an idiot along with me.

For context:  Ate = Sister Kuya = Brother * My dad and I have a rocky past because he’s very old-fashioned, hasn’t been always supportive about my mental health, and is really old and out of date (especially about LGBTQ, feminism, HK protests, etc.) * My sister also has a rocky past with me but has since calmed down a little thanks to old age (she’s 23) * My brother is constantly busy with school (and stressed), is still mourning his breakup after a few months which continues to salt his wounds (not because his ex is crappy but she’s really nice. He’s having a bit of trouble still.), and is a very sensitive person (more sensitive than my sister)

Further in, you can see what happened at the orchestra concert on Saturday. For context, you can check out a previous rant.

Me: Dad got some bad oil burns. I was in the family room as he was yelling “[MOM NAME x 3] WHAT DO I DO WITH OIL BURNS?” Mom was upstairs and didn’t hear They are kinda big He’s upset

Ate: What the why didn't you help him call mom???? did you??? yike oil burns are no joke bc they hurt for longer bc water just steams away but oil sticks and keeps burning and the scars are worse

Me: Uh... I was scrolling on tumblr? I don’t know. I thought he already put ice.

Ate: smh

Me: But looking back, I heard the water running for less than a minute.

Ate: LOL

Me: And never heard the freezer open

Ate: water won't help unless you use soap anyways

Me: So I thought he did that but he was really just yelling for mom He didn’t even ice it. He said he ran some water over it.

Ate: make sure you help if someone yells for help next time even if you think it's handled bc if a person is panicking/in pain they're likely not thinking straight to help themselves speaking from experience

Me: Mom tried to give him advice now and he just walked away going “uh huh”

Ate: even I know to put my hand under cold running water and ice it but I've definitely not done that when I've burnt myself before I would be pretty choked too if there were 2 other people in the house and neither of them came to help me when I got oil burns

Me: Mom was upstairs and couldn’t hear. I thought he was crying wolf as usual.He yells for mom around three times on a daily basis

Ate: fair but fr next time take the 5 seconds to check bc sometimes bad things happenesp if all you hear is a thud

Me: “[Mom Name x 3 again] I CANT FIND THE [blank]!!!” Mom: it’s been in the same spot for over a decade. Look with your eyes.

Me: Mom does that once every other day (has a big thud) usually because something broke. When I heard the yell this time, I thought it was because he knocked something over. Dad is always yelling He even asked mom how to make the rice And didn’t make it because she didn’t answer fast enough Dad is a drama queen. That’s where we all get it from.

Ate: I mean

Kuya: Tf is this situation How can you ignore someone in need of help Regardless of who it is Doesn't it hurt to see someone suffering

Me: I didn’t see anything

Kuya: Unless you hold extreme animosity Like they killed your mom or something I have to hand something in by 10 But I find this quite upsetting

Me: I didn’t see anything, and the last thing he yelled was an oil burn, and the only advice I had was water and ice which I thought he already did.

Me (in response to animosity): Not extreme, but living with him with only me as the child has screwed a lot of things up.It has taken a toll on my sympathy for people (or whatever is left)

Ate: Same but he's still our dad?

Me: Eh, I honestly thought it was a small thing until I saw it.

Ate: I have only shreds of respect for him left but idk if I would go as far as to just overlook "oil burn" and figure "oh, I can't help so I'll ignore him" like that's a lil funny

Me: Again, when someone is constantly yelling, there’s a point where you don’t listen fully to what they’re saying. It only registered later that his burns might actually be serious and more than putting your fingertip on a hot pan. I also have little sympathy due to how he’s treated me during my past situations so honestly, I’ve little tolerance.

Afterwards, my mom called my sister who was absolutely hysterical and screaming on the other line to the point where my mom had to pull the phone away from her ear.

________________

Some Stupid Orchestra Stories:

Things I have said to my orchestra cohorts that might’ve scared them:

*sees me bump my instrument* Trumpet: Ouch Me (walking away): Snitches get stitches and end up in ditches, and dead men tell no tales. Doug: What?

*sees me bump my bow* Doug: Ouch Me (tired because I was just excluded from the conversation today because no one would listen to what I had to say): I’m going to stab you Doug: Pat, protect me!

Me: *tells anything about school* Everyone: MAJOR CONCERN (Examples: Kid said that this guy could have sex with his friend before she turned 21 by slipping a drug into her drink, kid saying he was going to hit a girl with a metal bar from the desk, kids smoking out back, kids make noise downstairs which causes the room I work in to shake, kids throwing stuff out car windows, kids brawling, my science teacher from regular school failing me for practically no reason)

More of an annoying incident from me: Hannah: Who’re you messaging? Your girlfriend? Sean: Yeah Me: YOU’RE STILL TOGETHER?! Sean: (sheepishly) yeah

To be fair, I get weirded out whenever they flash their privilege as semi-well off rich kids.  “Remember those special trips you get to take with your school to learn more about science? // Remember those international trips you take with your school club?” Me: ...no?! I’m not poor, I just dropped out of school before I could even go to my nearest McDonalds for a field trip.

But Doug is a little dumb sometimes. He doesn’t get my sense of humour (understandable), but he’s a little ignorant towards not-privileged people. 

He literally said he goes to sleep at 9:30pm, got into university (this is a semi-prestigious one) first try with 90s in all of his classes (at least), has a girlfriend, has friends, and doesn’t understand why anyone would stay later than that unless they had poor time management. His words, not mine. My brother stays there until around 12am studying. He was not happy to hear that. Doug is first year so my siblings are making fun of him saying he will perish in a year’s time. My parents saw him stealing kisses from his girlfriend in a parking lot during the day of our last concert. I seriously though the girl in his profile picture was his sister and not his girlfriend because they were both seriously white. Whiter than a bowl of milk I tell you.

He also doesn’t know what a period app would be for. I was a little annoyed. My brother knows about this well enough because we all know my sister and mom would not let anyone in this family live if they did not know the ins-and-outs of a period. Doug was like, “Why would you need to track that?” I responded, “Because they’re irregular.” He looked a little puzzled and I said, “Douglas, you’re a science major. There’s sex ed in school.” He responded that he is going into research (not sure what that has to do with menstrual ignorance) and never paid attention during sex ed (since it’s never for marks). I then got a little more pushy and said, “Well, if you ever want a girlfriend, maybe you should learn.” To which he said, “I have a girlfriend���. To which I gave him a look of:

Stories from the orchestra concert:

I did tell the bass instructor about this so maybe it’ll get sorted out but I did this “tell the teacher” thing twice where it backfired terribly. Let’s hope university kids are a little more grown up.

My messages from that night: Pat told me it was cute when I played in the wrong spots. It was genuine like she said it was cute. But it was like ??? I was having a panic attack. My brain left my body. I don’t want to play anymore. Then she put up her bow to make sure I wouldn’t flip the page Then she hit her bow on her bass. I really don’t want to play anymore. (She also repeated the same thing twice knowing from a previous talk that I have bad anxiety. She has anxiety as well.)

Me: Then Hannah and Patricia were commenting on my shoes. I like wearing my orthotics. They make my feet feel not in pain. Ate: tell them that Me: I did They told me to take off my shoes “They can’t even see my feet” I’m all the way in the back behind people “Then take off your shoes” “But then I’ll be in pain” “But you sit” (I have one foot on the ground) “So take them off. It’s for dress code. People can see you” Ate:  but it's literally a medical thing Tell them to actually fuck off hoh my god it's like asking a blind person to put their stick away bc people will trip on it or that you can't have your service dog with you like????

[yellowsounds124-blog]

----

I have something I need to share. Not with you, with someone else but that'll never happen, its simply not possible, but I need this off my chest and dont have a safe place for it. With your stance on abortion, I figured you would be a good place, sense you wont see the fetus in this story as a "clump of cells" Growing up, my dad was not okay. He was abusive. It took me years and years to say this because through all the running away and calling the police, not going home- I was told over and over that it was fine because he wasnt raping me or punching me in the face. The pushing, screaming inches from my face, tearing apart my stuff, throwing things at me, making me change in front of him, refusing to be by me in public if I didnt look good enough...didnt matter. I was told I was being ridiculous and should be greatful. My friends.. I would beg them please dont leave me alone with him if he ask you to leave the room. But they always would what were they suppose to do? I wouldnt be allowed to talk to anyone to go out for months at a time. So there was a huge foundation of fear, and protecting myself. At some point, i met this guy (brother of my friend), and I just loved him, and he loved me to. He was a POC, once we started with each other his sister hated me for some reason, which made his mom hate me. And my parents hated him (I later figured this was a race and class thing for my father) so being together involved a lot of sneaking around, a lot of giving up, a lot of trying again, the sneaking around would get me in more trouble, especially if it was known it was with him. At this point, I didnt tell anyone how bad it was, I started self mutation. If I wasnt with him (we will call him Kay for the sake of thevstory) I would do any drug I could get and have sex or mess with whoever showed interest (well almost). It was how I would cope as I didnt think I could tell anyone. How could I say anything about what I was going through when I had a friend being raped by her brother, a friend who's dad just up and left, a friend whos mom called her fat and made her diet? I was literally a wreck and the worst part of the cycle was being this wreck made him more angry, he'd treat me worse, and I'd further wreck myself. So about Kay, we went on and off for years, then he moved in with a friend who was only a street away, I wasnt at a 8-3 school anymore and he graduated do it was really easy to be together. I immediately broke up with this other guy I was seeing (we will call him Colin) that my dad liked so I would use him to be able to leave the house ect so I could be with Kay. It was only a month and a half of perfection before it started falling apart. Kay wanted to talk to my father, he didnt know what things were like except that he didnt like him. He thought he could talk to him about how much he loved me and make things better, and I freaked out. He knew I was hurting myself, a few months before my father** had saw the marks and yelled at me asking if I was crazy, asking what the hell was wrong with me, telling me it was disgusting and I stayed in a padded room for a night before being released sense I wasnt suicidal, and Kay saw on my body that I had found a new more hidden place after that incident. He thought he could save me, and we would get married and be happy, but I knew if he went to talk to my father that my father would send him off and I would pay for trying such a thing. * That's when I made multiple huge mistakes that I havent shared with people, 9 years later. First, i broke up with him and told him i didnt even like him and needed time to discover myself,stuff like that. I never stopped loving him. To this day, I'm sure I'd still fall apart at his touch. *Within that same week, I missed my period, I again wasnt able to leave the house, I bought a tested while at the store with my mom, was caught and ordered to take it as soon as we were back. This was bad because if it was negative, I was going to be in trouble for basically no reason. And again this "trouble" wasnt normal. It meant my things wouldbe torn apart. I would be held down and screamed at, spit on not allowed to talk. But it wasnt negative, it was positive. And my mom was waiting downstairs, and I knew this only had a small handful of outcomes. Either they would send me off and have me give the baby up for adoption while being under close watch the whole time, or they would make me get rid of the baby. Abortion. So I did the first thing that came to mind, I called Colin. I told him I was pregnant and it was his. And that I couldnt talk right now. Then I told my mom, and immediately told her that Colin knew. To me, this was security. If he knew, someone would be checking in on me, he would tell his parents, another adult would he involved, if I disappeared there would be questions. And I knew I was right because I told my mom he knew and immediately she was upset I did that. I went in for an ultrasound, found out how far I was, quickly gave Colin a photo and shut the door on him. And the problems started. The dates dont match up, Colin said. I told him hes wrong. His parents wanted a paternity test, I said that's not possible itll hurt the baby. They claimed it wouldnt. I convinced Colin it was his and I just knew. He knew i had been seeing Kay but took my word.Then i heard from Kay, he heard I was pregnant. If he even thought it was his he would be at my door, trying to figure things out, trying to talk to my parents. But my father would not respect him the way he would Colin, so if anyone knew it was Kay's, I would be hurt, punished, sent away. I was terrified, I cant even explain the level of panic I had for my safety. I told Kay it wasnt his, there was no single way, and to leave me alone forever. It hurt so much to tell him that, it felt so wrong and I hated it and I knew it hurt him and I was so broken over it. After that, i was still stuck. The dates didnt match, Colin's parents wanted a paternity test, *the baby was partly a POC and might not come out white, so I wouldnt be able to pass them off as Colin's. I couldnt sleep. My father wasmt speaking to me and wasnt even around, really. I stayed in my room. My parents were pushing for me to get an abortion. "Were just going to the clinic so you can see what its like" my mom said when she took me to the abortion clinic. It was down a stair case, there were no protesters. They took my blood, they walked me through everything and asked when they could set up an appointment. They asked me one time if I wanted to do this, in front of my mom who stared me down. When she brought me back, she paid extra for them to put me to sleep. While I waited with the IV and the last ultra sound pictures I'd have done, I started crying. My mom wasnt there for this part, a nurse asked me why I was crying, she was so angry about it. I said sorry and tried to stop. She didnt ask if i wanted to do this, no one told me that i was at the point where the baby was like a small miniature looking baby, only slightly misshapen. No one told me it had tiny hands and feet, or what they would do with it afterward. And no one made sure i wanted this. When I went in the room I was alone with a Male doctor, and I remember how unusual that was as I had always been asked if I wanted someone else in the room if left with a Male doctor. And I laid on the doctor bed, and I remember think I should say something, this is my last chance, and then I was asleep. When I woke up I was given pads, they told my mom, not me, even though I was 17, that I would bleed for a few days. I never went to the check up appointment. I stayed in my room, I scanned every blood clot for a piece of the baby. I slept and cried, when I heard from Colin I told him that I lost the baby. That's all. I lost the baby. People spread rumors it wasnt ever real. I didn't care. I didnt leave my room. I didnt shower, I barely ate. I gave up Kay, and all my friends connected to him, Colin started dating my bestfriend and they talked shit about me, I lost everyone connected to them. I was just alone. My father came back and was around more. They never talked to me about it, never asked if I was okay. I was like that for months, before finding friends online, forcing myself to listen to happy music, go out, pretending. Fake it till you make it. I met two people, we will call Slw and Ice- who helped me in that time more than they will ever know because they didnt know about it. Slw once asked why we didnt hang out with my friends and I got really upset with him but they both helped me so much. Ice reminded me it was okay to hurt and not be okay, he just didnt know what about. I made more friends, I am so greatful for every single one because they are the only reason I dudnt take my own life in those following years. Things got bad again. I got bad. I am better now, I have kids. People say I am a good mom. But ever sense "getting better" I think about that baby everyday. I worry life will take one of my babies that are here because I let that one die. How can I be a good mom when I let that happen? And I dont deserve them. And I am so sorry to that child. I could have found another way. I could have spoke more. That childs dad would have loved them and had no choice. I hate myself for this, every day. And again, have no where to go to talk about it. Like I said I just needed to get it off my chest because it eats me alive, everyday. Regardless of if people think abortion is right or wrong. To me, I know I got rid of a baby with a future, and its minimalized.

[icecoldparadise]

Don’t Touch My Prince

As requested by 25 of you, here is my take on Virgil going over-protective mode with Roman. Hope it doesn’t disappoint you all!

           The whole mindscape was humming when Virgil woke up (way too early, in his opinion.) He glanced at his clock and groaned: why the hell is Princy so freakin’ wired at 9 freakin am?! The anxious side grudgingly got up to go pick a sleep-deprived fight with the prince, but was stopped in the hallway by a more-stoic-than-usual Logan. “Virgil,” he began, his voice filled with urgency that caught the sleepy man off-guard, “I am sorry to approach you so soon after you rising, but I must discuss a matter of great importance with you.” Virgil blinked at the logical side a few times before nodded, an inquisitive look on his face. “Keep an eye on Roman today. He’s going to say something dumb to the wrong person and get punched.” Laughter boiled up and escaped the anxious side before he could stop it, resulting in a scowl from Logan. “Sure, I’d love to see him get punched.” Virgil teased, half serious about how absolutely hilarious it would be to see the ever-dignified prince get a good knock to the head. Logan however, was not amused. “Try again.” The logical one prompted. Virgil huffed a bit before rolling his eyes and sighing. “Fiiiiine. I will stop Roman from getting punched.” The neck-tie wearing man gave a firm nod and looked slightly more relieved. “Excellent. He is on a horrendous creative streak, as I am sure you noted upon waking, and unfortunately it is… Even worse than usual. He is supposed to go to the village today.” Virgil groaned; every so often Roman had to attend those awful village meetings to “keep the peace” as Roman would say. Keeping him from getting punched while in one of these moods would be much harder than it should be.

           After scarfing down a quick breakfast full of Roman’s super-charged obnoxious ideas (Logan was right, this idiot WILL end up getting punched unsupervised) Virgil found himself being dragged along some horrendously Disney-esque road to the village meeting. Roman barely stopped to take a breath the entire way, not even hindered by Virgil’s increasingly hostile insults as he usually was. When they entered the meeting the anxious side got an extraordinarily horrible feeling; a lot of these villagers looked pissed, and Roman’s rainbows-and-sunshine demeanor already had them all irritated. The darker side tried to pay attention to what the creative side was saying but all the negative energy was making it hard to him to focus until he quite clearly heard the fool say, “I don’t think I’m the best and bravest- I know it!” There was an incredibly angry looking knight in the prince’s face, beet red and snarling as it was. “How dare you claim that, while the rest of us spend every moment of our existence protecting our homes so you don’t have to be here!” Roman looked offended, anger clouding his face. Virgil stood up from his seat in the corner of the stage and began to say something to calm the situation when Roman hit the nail in the tomb. “How dare I? I created you fools! All of you! I AM YOUR GOD!!!” Virgil grew paler than a ghost, and watched in slow motion as the knight wound up and decked Roman square in the jaw. Fury rose within him and he leapt forward. Before he knew it, the knight was on his back bloody, bruised and absolutely terrified of the darker side straddling him. Virgil yanked him close to his face and snarled in a distorted voice, “No one touches my prince. Got it?!” The knight nodded quickly, and Virgil dropped him before getting up.

His previously enraged expression smoothed into one of deep concern and alarm for the prince, who was propped on an elbow and rubbing his jaw. He seemed stunned when Virgil gently helped him up. “You good, Princy?” Roman shook his head and gave a curt nod. “I am indeed, though I do say I quite deserved that.” Turning to address his people, Roman said, “I apologize, my lovely subjects. It seems that I am not feeling myself today, and I was horribly rude. I hope you’ll forgive me and allow me to rectify my failings when I am in a better state of being.” A quiet murmur swept through the crowd, and the tension eased immediately as the people accepted the apology and began filing out. Roman helped the battered knight up, glancing at Virgil with a new found (and slightly horrified) respect. Once everyone was gone Roman dropped his strong façade and slumped over a bit, sending an alarmed Virgil to his aide. “Sorry, it seems that knight has earned his title.” Roman said shakily, a hand going up to his throbbing head. The prince’s jaw was already swelling up and turning various hues of purple. The anxious side tucked an arm around the prince to support him better before willing them home. When they appeared in the kitchen, Logan and Patton were just finishing making lunch for the four. Patton gasped in horror while Logan stared at Virgil as if to say, ‘You had ONE JOB.’ As Roman settled into a chair Logan calmly inquired, “What on earth happened?” Virgil spoke first, much to their surprise. “In a nutshell, Roman was being an idiot and a knight stood up to him, and proceeded to land a mean right hook on him after Roman declared he was their god and therefore superior.” Roman turned bright red and Patton rushed off to get an ice pack and painkillers. Virgil turned to Logan. “I wasn’t fast enough to take the hit. I’m sorry.” Before Logan could respond the anxious side sank into his room.

Sighing, he finally glanced at his hands, which had been aching something fierce since he regained awareness over his actions. He mentally willed a damp cloth and some bandages to appear. He tenderly wiped the blood that was already drying around his knuckles, wincing in pain as he hit the split skin. After slowly wrapping up the wounds he laid down on his bed, curled up and went to sleep; he was exhausted.

When he woke up a few hours later, the anxious side quietly slunk out of his room, trying to avoid detection. He quietly made his way down the hall, first peeking into the living room before making his way to the creative one’s room. Virgil tentatively poked his head in the cracked door way, instantly finding Roman propped up by pillows on his bed as he watched Snow White and ate popcorn. He was gonna leave the prince alone when he heard a quiet, “Hey Virge.” The man froze, noticing the slightly subdued sound in the prince’s usually regal tone. “H-hey,” Virgil finally sputtered out, “how’s your head?” Roman gave a weak smile followed by a grimace. “I have a splitting headache and it hurts to smile, but I’ll recover in no time. It could have been worse if you weren’t there…” The royal trailed off, glancing down as if ashamed. Something inside Virgil twisted: his friend was not supposed to feel this way. “Well, y’know, fight or flight. Right? You would’ve been able to take ‘em even if I wasn’t there.” That seemed to cheer Roman up. “Thank you, Virgil. Truly, I do not deserve such good friends as you and the others.” Virgil scoffed and gave a quick “whatever” before skulking back to his room, a small smile refusing to be held back.

 @storytellerofuntoldlegends @justanotherpurplebutterfly @ssides  @thelogicalloganipus @pirate-patton @thatsthat24 @tinysidestrashcaptain @sidewritings @i-love-word-association-games @fandomsandanythingelse @the-sanders-snides @pattykrabbies

@starlight-sanders @inalandofmythandtimeofmagic @madd-catter

@bubblycricket @vampirtulpe @all-bc-patton-cant-let-go @istolelittleredshoodie

@chaosgaminggirl @captainhadeslover @ireblogstuff-andineedalife @analogical-trash

@lollingtothemax @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries @soft-blue-badger @superwholock-7234 @pattykrabbies @pantasticpanini @darkstarsigh @sanspie122 @sanderssidecanons

[justpan]

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

Part Seven

Part Eight

Part Nine

Part Ten

Part Eleven

Part Twelve 

The next morning you woke up in a room that looked like an entire mall had threw up in it.

Clothes everywhere.

You had a hanger stuck in your hair and your feet were tangled in a dress that was too church-y for a date.

‘Well good morning.’

You look up and see your dad standing in your doorway.

‘Hey Dad.’ you yawned.

‘Soooo...what’s the occasion?’ he asked.

‘What?’

‘Your room, I haven’t seen this many clothes pulled out since you thought that boy asked you to the school dance.’

You groan at the memory of sixth grade you mistakenly thinking a boy was asking you out when he was really just asking if you were going so he could catch a ride with you.

‘So is this another misunderstanding or...’ your dad asked as he came and sat on the bed, after moving aside a few hangers.

‘Well I don’t think its a misunderstanding this time, but I don’t want to look into it too much.’ you said as you sat up fully.

Your dad looked around the room.

‘I’d hate to see you over looking things’ he joked.

‘Shut up.’

‘So it’s Felix right?’

‘Yeah its Felix, it’d be weird if it was Peter, you know since he tried to kill me that one time.’ you sighed.

‘I like Felix enough, he does the dishes.’

‘Most dads would say something about how nice Felix is or how respectful he is, but no, he does the dishes.’ you smiled.

‘You can tell a lot about a guy who washes dishes.’

‘Oh my God get out Dad I have to get ready.’ you laughed as you pushed him away.

‘Fine, you had morning breath anyway.’ he said as he headed out.

‘Wait, Dad can you keep an eye on Peter for me? It would be a disaster if I had to bring him on the date.’ you asked.

‘Fine, I’ll babysit the homicidal teenager, since that is what my life is now.’ he said as he left. 

You got out of bed and looked over at your clock, about nine thirty, Felix is definitely awake.

You two had decided that you would go out to the park in the morning, when the weather was cool and Felix would make the picnic.

He was actually pretty good in the kitchen once he learned how to use everything, he loved the microwave.

You grabbed the outfit you and Shelly had picked out, a yellow short sleeve shirt and a black high waist skirt, before heading to the bathroom.

You would put on the gold bracelet, black flats after.

You made sure to lock the door before you began undressing, after your shower you pulled your hair into a bun and got dressed.

You were headed to your room when you bumped into Peter.

‘Excuse me.’ you said as you tried to move past him, but he blocked your path.

‘You’re all dressed up aren’t you? For that ridiculous date with Felix you and that idiot were squealing about I assume.’ Peter guessed.

‘Her name is Shelly and she is my best friend, and yes I a dressed up for a date with Felix. Do you have a problem with that?’ you snapped.

‘None, if he wants to sugar coat the fact that he wants to roll in the hay with you with eating in grass that’s his business.’ Peter scoffed.

‘Maybe Felix thinks with more than his genitals, and he honestly just wants to have a nice picnic with me.’ you snarked.

‘Tell yourself that, by the way my offer still stands.’ Peter said as he moved closer to you.

You backed up but of course you hit a wall and Peter trapped you between his arms.

‘Let me have you (Y/N).’ he said roughly.

You wanted to cower and just ask him to go away, but you were not going to keep backing down. He’d never stop if you didn’t stand up for yourself.

‘The answer...is no, it will always be no.’ you glared.

You saw Peter’s jaw clench angrily.

‘Now if you’d please back the hell up so I can finish getting dressed, I’d really appreciate it.’ you said as you successfully pushed him away.

You quickly make your escape to your room, again locking the door before you let out sigh of relief.

You shook off the quick bit of fear that Peter had placed on you and finished putting on your accessories and make up.

Once you were ready you went downstairs to check on Felix, knocking on the door instead of just walking in.

‘How’s it going in there, almost done?’ you asked.

‘It’s ready and I am dressed.’ Felix said as opened the door.

You were almost stunned by how nicely he cleaned up, wearing a simple dark blue v neck and jeans, his usually defiant hair combed and styled.

 He held up a basket that had a blanket on top.

‘Lets go.’ you said taking his hand as you left the house.

‘What about-’

‘My dad is gonna watch him and he can handle himself pretty well for an old guy.’ you joked.

You feel Felix intertwine his fingers with yours as you two strolled through the woods surrounding your house.

‘So in Oz, when you were robbing couples, what did they talk about?’ you asked.

Felix thought it over.

‘Stupid things like how beautiful her eyes were and how sweet he was.’ Felix said.

‘Well I think you are pretty sweet.’ you blushed.

‘And your eyes are the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.’ 

‘You were surrounded by boys most of your life.’ you reminded.

‘Just because you’re the only one I’ve ever spent time with doesn’t mean you’re the only one I’ve seen.’ Felix said as you reached the main road.

‘What were the girls in Oz like? Before the curse was broken I loved the idea of different worlds like Oz, Neverland and Wonderland.’ you asked.

‘I’m from two out of the three.’ he smiled.

‘That makes you a real catch.’ you teased.

‘The girls back in Oz were...very flamboyant and very dull at the same time, the nobles wear so much green they look like glittery lettuce. The peasant girls speaking about nothing but what they would give for one of those damn dresses.’ Felix said as you neared the park.

‘Not too different from some of the fashion obsessed girls we have here.’ you replied.

You enter the park and head over to a really shady oak tree where Felix laid down the blanket. Once he was done you both sat down and you picked up the basket.

‘Let’s see what you packed Chef Felix.’ you said as you began to pull out the contents.

‘French bread, pepperoni, mozzarella, a fruit salad, a bottle of champagne, butter, jam, knifes, plates and wine glasses.’ you called out as you pulled everything out.

‘Its what I saw others bring, baking the bread was very difficult but I think I did pretty good, its really soft.’ Felix said as he sat closer to you.

‘You did amazing Felix, I’m a pretty good cook but I cant bake bread for the life of me so double props for you.’ you praised.

Felix looked away but you could still see his ears turn red with his blush.

‘For someone as tough as you are Felix you are really cute.’ you smiled. as you took his hand again.

‘You are determined to make me blush aren’t you?’ Felix asked.

‘Yup, come on let’s eat, this food is too good to let the ants have.’ you said as you cut a slice of bread, cheese, and pepperoni.

You placed the cheese and meat on the bread, fully aware of how Felix was watching you anxiously as you took the first bite.

‘Oh my God, oh fuck--’ you gasped.

‘Is it that bad?’ Felix panicked.

‘Its the best bread to ever have touched my tongue, its so soft and fluffy.’ you moaned.

‘Did you even taste this?’ you asked.

‘I wanted you to have the first taste.’ he said.

‘Try it.’ you said hold up another piece for him.

Felix looked at you as he let you feed him, realizing how intimate this must look.

‘I think I didn’t cook it long enough.’

‘You did great, Felix, the bread is perfect and so is this picnic.’ you smiled.

‘...So are you.’ Felix said softly, making you blush.

‘Look at you turning the tables.’ you swooned.

You two ate and chatted over your picnic, the conversation just as easy and smooth as every conversation with Felix was.

‘So we aren’t allowed to drink this here, why?’ Felix asked looking at the bottle champagne.

‘Because here you have to be twenty one to drink, and we are about seventeen, but there isn’t anyone here so one glass won’t hurt if we don’t tell anyone.’ you answered.

Felix smiled before uncorking the bottle and filling the two glasses.

‘A toast to our first date.’ you said holding your glass up.

Felix smiled and touched his glass to yours before you both took a sip.

‘We’ll have to sneak off and have this stuff again.’ Felix said taking another sip.

‘I’d sneak off with you even if there was no champagne involved.’ you said honestly looking him in the eye.

You see his eyes go from your eyes to your lips, and your own gaze lowers to his lips as well.

You don’t know who had started leaning in first but you soon you could feel Felix’s breath on your cheeks.

His lips were maybe a centimeter away from yours, this was it, you were gonna kiss him.

‘Well well well, what have we here?’ 

You and Felix jump apart and look up to see Peter walking confidently over to your picnic.

‘What the hell, you were supposed to be-’

‘Supposed to be at the house with your idiot father? Did you really think that old fool could keep a hold on me? I might not have my magic at the moment, but don’t insult me.’ Peter boasted standing over you both.

‘Where is my dad?’ you asked urgently as you stood up.

Felix quickly followed suit, taking the initiative to pin Peter to the tree.

‘The old man is at home and he’s fine...for now.’ Peter smiled not fighting against Felix’s hold.

‘What do you mean for now?’

‘I mean he has five hours before the poison I put in his coffee kills him.’

‘WHAT?!’ you yelled.

‘Lucky for you I have the antidote, and I will give it to you...for a price.’ Peter grinned.

‘Give me the antidote!’ you yelled.

‘Take off the cuff.’

‘No!’

‘Then your father dies.’ Peter snarled before pushing Felix away.

Peter bent down and tore a peace of bread taking a large bite as he turned away.

‘Good job with the bread Felix. I’ll be at the house watching the old man die, if you change your mind and decide to save him.’ Peter said as he walked away.

[justwomenimagines-blog]

A Gift For The Ones They Call “Khaleesi”

REQUEST: Oh oh I have one! Can you please do a Daenerys x reader imagine where the reader is trying to lay low bc she's a Lannister from Westeros in Meereen who left to find Tyrion, but ends up being captured by one of the masters, who sends her as a "gift" to Dany? And Dany is angry of course, because HELLO she's a person not an object. Which somehow ends with something cute n fluffy between the two? (Did any of this even make sense?? lmao sorry if it didn't, I ramble a lot.) thank you!!

Sure thing, baby

daenerys targaryen x reader

Y/N was unafraid, strong, brave but most importantly smart. Once she found out about Tyrion captured by Jorah, she had to what was right. In her head, the name Lannister was not only about the riches and wealth but to her, the lion represented so much more. It was about protecting the pride, her family but she knew she was the only one who would.

The day Y/N set sail was possibly the greatest mistake of her life so far. With her brother nowhere in sight and everyone knowing that she’s a Lannister, it made it impossible to hide from those you know would pay anything for your dead body to be placed on a spike in their town square.

Y/N managed to hide for a few weeks, if even. She wasn't keeping track to be fair. Y/N stole bread and whatever wine she could get her hands on. She did everything she tried to lay low and not cause a scene whilst still trying to find her brother but to no avail. Y/N heard them whisper in the drunken alleyways about her brother, The Hand? Surely, that could not be.

“I heard his mother fucked a troll and gave birth within a week.” Another whisper again. “I heard his brother and sister go at it on their sister’s bed.” The talk was unbearable until Y/N snapped once she heard that “ Tyrion used to rape his sister, ats what i ‘eard!” The laughs, the mockery of a name once held so high that those who spoke badly of it would be executed on sight.

Y/N unsheathed her gold and engraved dagger that Tyrion gave her as a 10th birthday gift and was ready to slice the drunkards throats until a firm hand grasped her once she reached the beggar's neck. A strong brute of a man with burn marks on his face and a scar down his nose. “Send our love to the Mother of Dragons.” The man’s voice came from directly behind Y/N but as she whipped her head to catch a glimpse of him, the brute knocked her out cold.

Daenerys was ready to sail home and reclaim all that was lost to her once she heard a man screaming on shore. “My Queen, a package! A package!” With her guards aimed at the man, she steps off her ship and warily approaches the large package in wood. Once signalling to her men to open it, she finds a girl, no older than herself, beaten and blood splattered everywhere. With a shocked and disgusted look on her face, she bends down to help her up onto the ship with the help of the guards.

“Y/N......” Tyrion whispered yet Daenerys could hear. Y/N, she thought, may you wake up, young Y/N. “It is my sister, my queen. she must have followed me to find me. Stupid girl, always playing the hero.” He muttered whilst Daenerys was entranced with the burn mark left in the shape of...chains.. and wings? “The Great Masters”, she inhaled, “Tyrion, your sister, Y/N, is a gift from the Masters.” Tyrion held a look of neutral displeasure which slowly turned to rage as he flipped off crates into the ocean and punched a guard. “I’ll gut them! Everyone last one! She was the last good one in our family!” With Tyrion being dragged away screaming, Daenerys wrapped a spare cloak around your naked body and asked the guards to move you to the beds below deck.

With at least two days of travel left until the journeys end, Y/N woke from what felt like death. With a pile of clothes laying near to her, she put them on and headed for above deck. Y/N saw tens to hundreds of ships slowly marching along the water and in front of her, a bloody angel. White hair, pale skin, and eyes that could cut a man in half if he stared too long. her black robes matched yours with a slim cut that enhanced every perfect thing about her from her waist to her obvious ascent to royalty. As Y/N slowly moved forward to her direction, she was tackled by what seemed like a dog but ended up being her brother. “Y/N! Thank the maker you’re alive! Thank you!” Y/N opened her mouth to respond but was cut off with a hand to help her up. The Queen, you presume. Y/N bowed in front of her and Daenerys giggled. God, I could listen to that all day. “A friend of My Hand is a friend of mine” she states.

With only a day to go until they reached land, Daenerys had been informing Y/N on all of her recent ongoings, from owning dragons to Daario, something that makes Y/N’s heart sink but also fills with joy. As night time slowly crept in on the pair, Y/N felt a shiver run down her back to which Daenerys responded with cloak being placed around Y/N’s neck. “ Now you’ll be cold!” Y/N sleeply exclaimed as she didn't want Daenerys to freeze to death before she could ask to court her. “ I would freeze before seeing you cold, my dear.” And with that, Y/N’s cheeks ignited and Daenerys full forced chuckled which Y/N felt right through her. “ I see your warming up, Y/N” Daenerys gazed into the side of her face where Y/N’s was still resting, Y/N took her head off her shoulder and lightly punched it  due to her pwn tiredness and that she didn't want to hurt Daenerys, which could’ve been due to the dragons or that she was slowing falling for her. “Y/N” Daenerys whispered,” I know a way in which we could both  be very warm.” Y/N’s cheeks lit up again, “ Dany, I swear if you don't stop I'll-”  “You’ll what?” Daenery’s face was closing in on Y/N and Y/N whispered, “I’ll do this” Y/N placed just a sweet gentle kiss on the others mouth to which slowly became more passionate and lustful. Once they broke away from the kiss, Daenerys audibly gasped and whispered, “ I want you” Y?n becoming more confident  stated, “ I'm all yours”

To that night, Y/N and Daenerys ruled side by side as Queens of the Seven Kingdoms and became the most respected and loved couple that anyone had ever laid eyes upon. Long Live The Queens.

A/N: i definalty made majority of this up so we can all mutally agree that its now an AU where i cant agree whcih season to even put anything in thank u

[lovebtsfanart]

BTS and the Photographer (Part 4)

A/N: Hey I started writing fanfics just recently on wattpad. Feel free to follow my account Kpop_Fangirl_17 as i post my work there first before here. I am new at this so if any other writers could give me some tips I would appreciate it.

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Pairing: Jungkook x Y/N. +BTS members

Genre: fluff, smut(Maybe in the future?)

Words: 2.7k+

Warnings: panic attacks, anxiety, sensitive topics, depression.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Synopsis: You are a photographer who lived and studied in London until you are given an opportunity to go to south Korea and work for BigHit Entertainment. You find out that you will be the personal photographer for BTS and will be working with nearly everyday. CEO Bang Si-hyuk had set this up and lets the rest unravel. He hopes the boys learn from the experiences you and them have and that will influence their music as well as help you. You see them all as your older brothers but you can’t deny that you feel something for the youngest, Jungkook. Both of you being shy, neither of you say anything but that does not stop you two from having little moments. Read to find out what adventures you have with the boys and love blossom between you and Jungkook.

As a person who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks I request everyone to be respectful and mature about this. If anyone wants to talk to me feel free to message me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait, what?” You said in disbelief.

“We are neighbours!” Hobi cheered.

You did not know what to say. The boys copied your shocked face by opening their mouths and making their eyes wider.

“Yah, stop it” you said giggling now.

“Jungkook whats the spelling?” Jinnie said to Kookie.

“Aish, not again” Jimin said annoyed. The other members shaking their heads.

“S-T-O-P. I-T! Whooo! Yeah!” They said in unison, breaking out in a fit of laughter

The other boys looked like they were about to knock the two out.

“You will learn to live with it, we have to” Joonie said.

“How about you come over for dinner?” Jin suggested as his laughter slowly died down.

“No, no i cant. I have caused enough trouble today as it is and you all must be tired” you replied

“You have not been any trouble Y/N, honestly we had a lot of fun!” Hobi said reassuringly.

“We have not laughed this much in awhile” Jiminnie added.

They all agreed with Jimin.

“Come on Y/N, you don’t even have any food yet” Tae said.

You thought about it. He was right, you needed to go food shopping and you were feeling tired. You too had to accept that you had not had this much fun in a while.

“Okay…..fine!”

“Yes! Eomma, movie night! movie night!” Tae started to plead. “Pleeeaaase~”

“Aish. Fine. What do you say Y/N?” Jin asked you.

“I’m down!”

“Good, lets say in about an hour. We all probably want to have a shower first and then i will start cooking”

You all nodded and headed back in to your rooms.

“An hour” you said aloud to yourself.

You decided to unpack some of your essentials. Your living room had boxes laying around as well the kitchen and your bedroom. You thought that Uncle BamBam probably made sure the boxes were put in the right place. Since you clearly labelled them, finding what you wanted was not too hard. You found some shower gel and shampoo as well as some clothes to put on before heading for a shower.

35 minutes later you had washed your hair, had a nice long bath, got dressed and partially dried your hair so that it was not dripping. You sat on the couch and just stared out the windows on to the city. It looked so pretty with the lights so you grabbed your camera and took some photos. 10 minutes later you decided to go to their apartment. You dried your hair properly, your hair had soft natural curves which fell past your shoulders. You were too lazy to do anything with it. You put on a little bit of powder and looked for your shoes, timbs to be precise. You loved them as they were so comfortable. Eventually finding them 10 minutes later, you grabbed your phone, camera and iron tablets, that you needed to take after eating, and left your apartment.

You stood outside their door feeling weird, but not in a bad way. This felt so natural and comfortable to do, you would never have done this before. You rang the buzzer to be welcomed by a sleepy Yoongi.

“Wow! An hour exactly” he said looking down at his watch and letting you in.

Jin, Rapmon, Hobi and Jiminnie all came to welcome you as well. They laughed amongst themselves as they watched you take off your shoes.

“What?” You said confused.

“Lets just say you and Jungkook have more in common than you may think” Jimin said in between giggles.

They led you inside their apartment, the layout was similar but it was bigger. They told you that they had two apartments combined due to the number of members. They could have had two separate apartments but they all wanted to live together so they made a request to Bang PD-nim and he agreed.

“Where is Kookie Oppa and Tae Oppa?” You asked the boys.

“They were the last to hit the shower so they should be down soon. Why? Missing ‘Kookie Oppa’ already Y/N?” Hobi teased which made you blush slightly.

“Ani! I was just wondering where they are” you replied shyly before going to the kitchen to help Jin.

“Whatever you say Y/N” Hobi called after you.

You peered over at what Jin was cooking.

“Oppa it smells good. Can i help with anything?”

“No, no. I’m cooking for you so i dont want you to do anything but sit and relax” he said dragging you over to a tall stool at the island.

“Oppa please let me do something. How about i do a fruit salad! We all need to eat healthly.”

Jin agreed and let you chop some fruit up. You washed some apples, grapes, strawberries and blueberries before sitting back at the island. You started cutting the fruit when Jimin came and sat next to you.

“Your very skilled with a knife” he said “can you make the bunnies with the apple?” He asked

“Yeah, sure. I can do something with the other fruit as well” you replied.

As you chopped the fruit Jimin watched you. A small smile rose on his face as you handed him a bunny apple. Unfortunately Jin was quick to take it away.

“Not before you eat, you will spoil your appetite!”

“Eomma~ pleeeeeeaase~” Jimin pouted.

“NO!”

“Appa!” Jimin called to RapMon sitting on the sofa reading the news paper.

“Ne, Chim Chim” he replied, not looking up from the newspaper he was reading.

“Can i have a bunny apple, pleeeeaase~”

“Ask Eomma”

Jimin sat and pouted until you finished chopping. He looked adorable with his cheeks puffed out and his arms crossed

“Okay i’m done Eomma! Can i do something else?” You asked Jinnie.

“I’m done too” he said switching off the stove, before he placed the food on the table.

You also went to put the fruit salad on the table and helped get the plates and cups.

“Aish those kids have they not come down yet?” Jin said looking around the room for Jungkook and Taehyung.

“Jimin go and get them!” He told him a little annoyed.

Jiminnie quickly grabbed a bunny apple before running off pulling faces at a very angry Jinnie Eomma.

“Aish, that kid!” Jin said taking off his apron and before calling the boys overs from the couch to come and eat.

Jimin came back down with Tae and Kookie following behind him.

“Ah hyung why did you stop us? We were about to kick their butts!” Junkook mimicked with the rather large teddy bear in his hand.

“Ah Y/N your here already!” Tae said.

As soon as Kookie heard your name he dropped the teddy on the sofa so you could not see it. However when you turned around you caught a glimpse of him doing something.

“Jungkook Oppa, what did you put on the sofa?” You said curiously.

You could here laughter from the others as they knew.

“Nothing! Nothing, lets eat” he hurriedly said walking towards the table.

You all sat down after taking some food into your plates. You and Jin sat on the ends of the table leaving the other six to separate into hyung line and maknae line. Jimin sat on your right with Tae next to him and Jungkook on the left of the eldest. On your left was Hobi, followed by Joonie and Yoongi. While you ate you talked, mainly the boys, about the concerts in the US that they had just returned from. The look on their faces made it impossible for you not to smile. They felt relieved that their fans, ARMY, enjoyed their performances and were overwhelmed by what they did for them. They showed you pictures that their fans have uploaded to social media and videos of fan events they had done for them. For example the rainbow sea of ARMY Bombs and their fan chants.

They could not stop talking and you wanted to capture the moment so you quietly got out of your seat to grab your camera that was on the kitchen counter behind you. You took a couple of photos without the flash so they would not notice before turning it on to get better quality pictures. They realised when they saw the flashes of light so they started to pull funny and derpy faces. You could not help but giggle at how these handsome men could change into little kids so quickly!

You sat down again and showed the boys the pictures to which they also laughed and joked about. You went a little too far and they caught a glimpse of the photos you took from your room. You quickly hid them causing a fuss from them.

“Lets see them Y/N, lets see!” Tae urged you along with the others.

So you did. They admired them and complimented your skills. They even asked you to teach them and show them the different filters you used. You agreed and carried on showing them until you landed on the picture your brother took.

“Who are they?” Yoongi asked

“Thats my mum and brother” your faced had dropped to a frown but quickly tried to replace that with a smile but the boys were quick to notice.

“My brother must have taken my camera before i left” you felt you had ruined the good mood so you told everyone to carry on eating which they all happily did.

You took a few more photos of individual members, telling them to strike a pose and they did their best poses, using props or other members. You sat down again to carry on eating.

Jimin was the first one to finish and asked if he could use your camera so you let him. He took pictures of you and the boys, you giving your best eating pose.

“Jungkook eat your fruit as well” Jin said passing it to him.

“Ah Hyung we said we will not do the bunnies any more. You promised!” He said pouting at the elder.

“Oh, do you not like it?” You asked a little upset

“Ah, oh, no its not that…..” he scratched the back of his neck embarrassed  

“I will eat them, thank you” he said before eating the apple as well as a hand full of grapes.

“Our fans think that Jungkookie eats like a bunny. They made clips of them side by side, its sooo cute!” Jinnie said stroking Jungkook’s hair.

“Ah hyung! Hajima!” He retorted swatting the elders hand away.

“But it seems since he has become an adult he does not like it when we tease him. I will show you the video after, he still does it!”

You giggled as Jin tried baby Jungkook again but was returned with a rather angry baby.

Jimin took a couple of pictures of the eldest and youngest before sitting down to wait for the others. You finished so you placed your plate in the sink and washed your hands. The boys were busy eating so you went over to the couch.

“Awwwwww!”

“What is it Y/N? Hobi asked

“Its a cute teddy!” You squealed like a little kid, picking it up and hugging it tightly.

“Is this yours Kookie Oppa?” You said tilting your to the side slightly.

“Cute” he replied under his breathe. It was quiet so you could not hear but the boys definitely did.

“What did you say Jungkook?” Tae teased along with the boys egging him on

“You can have it if you want” he said rubbing the back of his neck again. He had decided to ignore the members little teases.

“Jungkook I thought” Yoongi said motioning to the bear you were holding.

“Its okay Kookie Oppa, I don’t want it” you said placing it back on the sofa

“No i insist, you looked really happy”

“You sure Oppa?” You asked him

“Yep!”

“Thank you!” Your faced lit up like a little kids again.

You helped clear up and do the dishes. Jimin had picked you up and placed you on the counter. He told you to dry the dishes and pass it along so they could put it away while Jin washed. Namjoon and Tae cleaned the the table and set it up nicely with some flowers that made the room smell nice. Within no time at all you were all done.

“Movie time!” Tae called running over to the couch and searching for a movie.

The others followed while you stayed in the kitchen with Jin and Jungkook to make popcorn.

“I hope you don’t find us weird Y/N” Jin said while putting some popcorn in the microwave and turning it on.

“No, actually it has been a fun first day here, eventful but I think im really going to enjoy being with you guys”

“Thats good to hear” he replied while putting another bag of popcorn into the microwave.

Jungkook was sitting on the island counter eating some grapes.

“Did we just not eat?” You asked Jungkook

“Yeah! But who does not like grapes!” He said throwing one up and catching it in his mouth

“True, you have a fair point” you said smiling.

“Want one?” He said holding up a grape

“Yeah, give me your best shot!”

He tossed you the grape and you effortlessly caught it

“Good catch!” Jungkook said impressed.

“I try” you said doing a sassy hair flick before both of you started laughing.

All this while Jin was putting multiple bags of popcorn into the microwave and pouring the contents into big bowls for the boys to share amongst them selves.

“Are you two going to have popcorn or grapes?” He said raising an eyebrow up at the two still throwing grapes at eat other.

“Grapes!” you both said at the same time which made you look at each other and smile

“Okay, well give me a hand and take these bowls in for the boys”

You both picked a bowl each and gave it to the rest of the members who could not chose a movie. You and Jungkook sat together on the two seater closer to the window, he held the grapes while you cuddled the bear.

“Hyung have you still not decided?” Kookie asked Tae

“Its harder than you think! There are so many good movies that we have not seen because we were touring”

Just then your phone rings, its your brother face timing you.

“One of us is going to die either him for lying to me or me not calling him back!” You said almost as a whisper but Jungkook heard.

“Hi~ Oppa~” you said trying to act cute and innocent

“Yah! Don’t go cutesy on me, its not going to work this time missy. Do you know how worried i was, i called and texted but nothing. I was getting ready to leave for Korea!”

Your brother was loud enough for the members to all hear and so they went a bit quiet but whispered to make out that they were not eaves dropping.

“Now you are just exaggerating! Well, is it my turn?”

“What have i done wrong?”

“Hhmmn, lets see shall we. Lets start with HOW YOU LIED TO ME!” You said emphasising the last part.

“Lets talk about this some other time, you are probably tired and Uncle BamBam told me what happened at the airport. Are you okay?”

The boys had fallen silent

“Yeah I’m fine, the boys made me feel better”

“Boys? What boys!”

“These ones!” you said turning your phone around to reveal the boys scattered on the sofas.

“Hi” they all waved

“Hi, you must be BTS. Sorry for any inconvenience my little sister has caused you”

“No its fine” Namjoon said

“Its a pleasure having her hyung” Jin followed

“Oh hey Seokjin-ah, its been a while”

The boys looked a bit shocked

“You guys don’t have to look that shocked. I’m only a year older!” Your brother said laughing.

“Oh, i just remembered. Y/N have you taken your iron tablets?”

“I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me Oppa~”

“Just go and take them pabo”

You got up off the sofa and was about to head to the kitchen to get some water when your brother stopped you

“Leave you phone with Seokjin”

“How do you know Jinnie Oppa?” You asked your brother

“I just do now go!”

You gave your phone to Jin and went to the kitchen.

“Is she gone?” Your brother asked Jin

“Yeah hyung”

“Okay, i need to talk to you all”