#resist as long as possible
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I actually did this in high school after the passage of the Patriot Act. And for every day until I graduated.
Some teachers didn’t care. Some teachers cared a lot.
But I never got detention.
Because, being the child of attorneys, I had read the school manual for student conduct. And wouldn’t you know, there was nothing declaring you had to perform the pledge, or even stand up for it.
Which I reminded the teachers who cared about it, with a photocopy of the portion about the pledge.
All I did was read a book. But you would’ve thought I was disrupting the lesson by just sitting and reading the way some of the teachers reacted.
But again, I never got detention.
And I did my work as usual, so the more fascy teachers couldn’t mark down my work without cause.
And at first, it didn’t seem to make much difference.
But by the time I graduated, more and more students were doing it too. Older kids. Younger kids. The more progressive teachers didn’t even bother enforcing it when I was a senior (year 12). Only a few dedicated conservative students even bothered.
But we never got detention.
And our point had been made.
dear usamerican high schoolers looking for a way to resist fascism: sit through the pledge of allegiance.
no getting up. no looking at the flag.
everyone will be looking at you. you'll be sweating like a fucking hippopotamus. your teacher will sternly tell you to get up. you'll feel stupid and that maybe its not worth it because you're just a kid in a classroom. but I'm here to remind you that there are no real life consequences to detention. there are however real life consequences to resisting a thoughtless performance of nationalism.
#story time#us politics#donald trump#american politics#writing#9/11#the patriot act#patriot act#war in Iraq#war in Afghanistan#all i’m saying is#resist as long as possible#even if it’s just sitting and reading a book
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— And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions? — Only during thunderstorms, sir.
THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) / DARK SHADOWS (1966)
#don't mind me just absolutely insane about the possibility (probability!) that vicki saw tsom the year before coming to collinwood.#the boom mic in the stairs shot is always cracking me up.#finally me and you and you and me just us and your friend steve (the boom mic operator)#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure,miss winters.#gifs.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#➤ roger collins. ┊ I and my ghosts want a drink.#➤ victoria winters. ┊ because she’s lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#there's obviously far; far less of a christian overtone in ds — but i wonder if you couldn't make the argument that it isn't also#on some level about belief?#belief; namely; in the ghosts that roger resists and vicki with both arms embraces;#faith in the not-so-minor deity liz stoddard; choosing to follow her doctrine even in the face of conflicting truth.#one might consider collinsport a faithful congregation taking sermons from the mount — from the mouth of the reclusive ascetic;#conveyed by loyal (devastatingly; sacrificially loyal) disciples.#and vicki; searching for belonging; for a home; for a family; falls very lamb-like into the flock.#all old gods of course demand their sacrifices in blood: burke; namely; but also matthew; bill; roger (so-attempted)#if i were pushing it (which I always am) you could go so far as to say collinwood's son rises from the tomb.#''but the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night'' etc etc. demanding; first; sacrificial livestock; then virgin blood.#anyway! I digress.#''they say confession is good for the soul. well; my soul needs purifying.''#vicki as the prototypical virgin — the clean slate without history; clear water with neither dirt nor blood —#in which roger cleanses himself (somewhat forcefully!); to wash away guilt and suspicion;#the force of virtue that prevents the intrusion of sin; either through the wood of the confessional or very literally at her bedroom door.#''an innate sense of goodness'' etc; besides being something of a conduit between this world and the next:#re. the seances; the appearances of josette and bill; the various and varied encounters with supernatural; the time travel;#as one might expect of an angel ... or a saint. and one could argue that she goes on to restore roger's faith —#if not in the goodness of the world at large; then the existence of goodness; or in the worth of belief itself.#anyway. long way of saying i love man x his governess whether it's catholic or satanic. sign me up.
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the settler colonial zionist state is not sustainable in any way
#and then they go and make boots made from vegan leather for the idf or smth .......... like what AND they pour cement into wells??#trying all possible avenues to legitimize breaking international law lmao#free palestine#palestine#gaza#long live palestine#glory to the martyrs#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#long live the resistance#death to israel#climate change#greta thunberg
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thinking about viktor flipping through jayce’s notes like. this bastard signed off on the bottom of EVERY page? he’s an idiot. he’s tragically got a point. ugh fucking hell I need him carnally.
#as much as viktor admires jayce I’m also 100% sure his face muscles are exhausted from all the eye rolling he’s doing#jayce is interesting because he’s literally a genius. like viktor’s intellectual equal. but he’s SO dumb! a little too naive and ambitious#and that combination is exactly why viktor can’t resist him period end of story#like OH he genuinely thinks he can make the world a better place — and together I really think it’s possible so long as I have him with me#but there’s two sides to that coin and we see it the second he tries to get involved in politics and everything starts falling apart#power and privilege and shortsighted decisions end up. well. they aren’t doomed but their trajectory sure is tragic.#rambling#jayvik
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Eyes on me – an interactive whump story. Part 5.
Previous part. Masterpost.
Content: institutionalized slavery, imprisonment, dehumanizing language, it/its for an inhuman whumpee, pet whump, whipping, blood, physical abuse, withholding of food, training, torture, intimate whumper, carewhumper, mentioned pet death, tell me if i missed something
Lord Teelo didn’t strike.
He lowered his arm, eyes never straying from holding the creature’s terrified gaze. The room reeked of blood, now streaming down the lord’s fingers in a warm waterfall. He worked hard on pushing his fury back, taking it under control as many times before. He was in control. He would show it, careful and persistent and levelheaded. He would make sure it remembered the lesson forever. The crop was not meant for punishments, it was too short, too soft – he hadn’t meant to punish it. He was going to be a kind and gracious owner. It had left him no choice!
He opened the door, finding the redheaded guard still in the corridor.
“Get a proper whip,” he ordered. “More chains – gods damned handcuffs, whichever idiot thought of leaving it like this?! And a knife, scissors – or whatever, something to file its atrocious claws.”
The guard stared at him, not in the face – at his arm. Lord Teelo felt it – the consistent drip-drip-drip of his blood. He didn’t feel the ache yet. Nothing but the quiet, cold fury he couldn’t wait to unleash at the world. Haltingly, the guard started, “Should I bring someone to take a look at–”
“I have told you what you should do,” his voice came out as a hiss.
“Yes, my lord,” the guard saluted and hesitated only a moment before running down the corridor.
Lord Teelo closed the door with a loud crash. He paced inside, steps echoing around the room, as the pain slowly started to radiate out. He hated it. Oh how he wished he could slice the thing’s skin just this moment, not waiting for anything and anyone. He picked up the crop once more, stoped before the creature – it cowered to the very corner between the wall and its cage, never letting its eyes away from him. Oh, now it was looking. It dared to look!
“You think yourself smart?” the lord hissed. “Think you did something good for yourself? Oh, no, you’re gonna regret this. You’re gonna regret this so much.”
The pain seeped into his consciousness with every heartbeat, radiant and nauseatingly familiar. He held a handkerchief to the cuts until it filled with deep red. He threw it away – it landed in a wet disgusting lump on the table, by the bowl of wet disgusting meat. Oh how the lord had tried to be a nice host, how he had tried to accommodate this, this–
“Damned, ungrateful, hateful beast!” Lord Teelo roared. The glass of the bowl nearly slipped from his bloodied fingers when he grabbed it, and then shattered to thousands pieces to the side of the creature’s head. Its dinner fell onto the floor, useless. Oh, it wouldn’t get any, it would have to work, to beg for any crumb from then on – it would regret, regret it so much!..
The door slid open soundlessly after a short knock, letting in the heavy footsteps and the clanging of metal. The lord turned on his heels, facing the guard. “And why in the world have you not brought a damned healer!” he hissed. “Can’t you see I’m bleeding out!”
The guard blinked. “But you have–”
“YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME?!”
He was struggling to breathe, chest heaving with effort. The blood was still warm down his arm, still bright on the broken glass and light wood of his floors. How could the idiot not understand!
There were chains in the guard’s arms and a leathery length of the whip. Lord Teelo snatched it and demanded, “Chain it up!” The guard hesitated, opened his mouth. “NOW!”
He did. The lord watched as he came to the beast, careful with his steps, cautious of it. It squeezed itself deeper into the corner. Lord Teelo could see it shaking. He was delighted to see it shaking. The guard reached out, the first cuff prepared, and Lord Teelo watched from a step away as it lifted its hands up, close to its chest. Its teeth were bared, pupils wide and eyes wider. It tried saying something, but what came out was only a mess of sounds with no meaning.
The guard squeezed its arm even as it tried to avoid it. It whined and fought back, tried getting out of the grasp, tried pushing him away, tried and fought and struggled as he cursed under his nose. Its claws went through the skin of his palm ripping out a sharp hiss. It managed to raise its hind leg as the cuff clicked around its wrist, its claws scratching against the metal in an effort that only delayed the inevitable.
Lord Teelo had little patience left. He stepped forward, connecting his heel with the middle of the creature’s tail. It yelped, flinched backwards – its head connected with the wall, and before it could regroup the second handcuff was in place. After that, restraining its legs was only a matter of time.
“Turn it around,” the lord ordered. Chains clang as it fought in an ever increasing panic. “To the wall, yes… yes, just like that.” The locks rattled, forced closed. The guard let the key fall onto the ground, forcing the creature to kneel. It hid its tail between its legs, whining as its head was pressed into the wall. “Is the chain short enough? Will it be able to move?”
“I don’t think so, my lord,” the guard answered.
Lord Teelo played with the whip, trying it out. “Good. Go fetch the healer– wait. I need – something sharp, something – to secure on its tail. See how it hides it? I need something it can’t hide from.”
The guard looked puzzled. He eased his hold in a test, and the creature threw its whole weight backwards, fighting the chains. They held. Kneeling, with its tail hidden and only back visible, it looked strikingly like a human. “Perhaps clothespins, my lord?” It wasn’t what he had in mind. What he wanted – it wasn’t that. Not this easy, tame solution.
“It would work,” he drew out. He would go to the smith when he had time. He had an idea, oh, that would be a genius idea. “Just this once."
He flexed his left arm and rubbed his right. It hurt as all deaths, but it had stopped bleeding. He failed to crack the whip the first time but managed it the second, inches from the creature’s back. The guard bowed, taking it as a sign to leave.
The creature mumbled and mumbled more, sounds a meaningless mush falling from its tongue. If Lord Teelo was generous, he could see it as an apology; he would not even entertain the possibility of giving in to it, of course.
The second crack was right by its ear. It flinched and curled up further but couldn't hide.
It wailed when the whip connected with its back – so loud, so quickly, taken by surprise. Lord Teelo bared his teeth in a smile and struck again, violent purple already flowering on the gray of its skin, and struck again without waiting – three, four, six, twelve hits in a row, as it flinched and writhed and cried out.
He paused afterwards, and saw as it tensed, first, its whole body shaking with the effort of breathing, hiccupping in what sounded almost like sobs. He waited, watching how it trembled more and more. He let it marinate in the anticipation, the fear coiling and coiling with no release, the stinging of its sore back growing as its patience ran thin.
When it raised its head, just barely, as if to look, the whip snapped through the air again.
It screamed out. He didn’t give it time to recover.
The lord hit it with no pattern, pausing and continuing at his leisure, until his arm grew heavy with pain and the creature nearly silent. Lord Teelo could only hear its labored breathing, air forced out of its body with every strike. Its back bloomed with purple that gave way to red when the skin opened, the new lines covering the rainbow pattern in an unstructured, repulsive mess.
Oh, he nearly pitied it, trembling pathetically in the corner. Then he rubbed his arm and the sharp pain was enough to remember why he didn’t.
He struck for the last time, lazily, with his left, and then a few more for a good measure. When a polite knock announced the guard’s return, he felt pleasantly tired, like after a good work out. He called out for the man to enter.
The guard did and the healer, an old woman the lord knew for most of his life, followed in. She looked the room over with stony, unreadable expression, and Lord Teelo met her gaze with a nice enough smile. “You’ve got your toy,” she stated and that was all the attention the creature got from her.
She made a quick enough work of the wounds: cleaned and bandaged them up after applying that miraculous numbing cream the lord appreciated since early childhood. The creature would appreciate it even more, he thought, glancing at the pathetic thing. It had shifted at some point, stretching its legs just a bit but keeping its head hidden. Its body shook violently, trembling so much it in itself looked tiring.
“Should I look it over?” the healer suggested, all business.
The lord huffed, “What would the point of a punishment be then?”
The woman looked him over with that annoying, unreadable gaze. “Call me whenever you change your mind,” she bowed and left when he dismissed her.
Lord Teelo tried the clothespins with interest, forcing the spring to coil and then letting it go softly around his finger, just a tad, until it started hurting. “Good enough,” he concluded finally and got up.
The creature flinched when his boots stopped by its form but didn’t try anything. “Poor thing,” he drew out and crouched, ran his fingers along its back lightly, brushing fingertips over the painful ridges of future bruises. Its breaths hitched, but it didn’t make a sound. “And all you needed was to not act like a brainless brat to avoid all this. You have no one but yourself to blame, silly thing,” he told it. It didn’t answer, shivering under his touch but not attempting anything stupid.
“But maybe you can learn,” he hummed and moved his hand down to where its tail started. It tensed even further, if it was possible at all. “Let’s just make sure the lesson sticks, huh?” It curled up even further as he tagged on its tail, releasing from under the creature’s body. He flickered it back and forth and rubbed between his fingers and was satisfied when it sobbed and shuddered but remained motionless otherwise.
“Like this, yes,” he muttered. With the softest touch of his second hand, he stoked its head. “But look at me now. Eyes on me,” It didn’t understand. He caught a fistful of its fur and tagged. “Eyes on me.”
Too drained to resist, it lifted its head as he guided it. “Eyes on me,” he demanded again, and it either guessed or truly learned – its gaze settled on him, focusing to the best of its ability – and, oh, what a pathetic mess it looked, eyes bloodshot and wet in ways he’d thought only a human's could be, dark lines from where it pressed into the floorboards marking its cheeks. There was something red around its mouth – did it bite itself, the poor thing?
Lord Teelo clicked his tongue, smiled softly and released its fur. It settled back instantly, curling up again. Its tail remained in his hands.
He picked up the first pin.
It must have assumed at first that he was just playing like he had been, – at least, it didn’t seem to tense up too much, nor expect the sharp pain when he released the spring around its tail. It shuddered, head whipping up, staring at him once again. He smiled. Picked up the second clothespin.
It tried to get its tail free – oh, it tried as much as it could without hurting him, but he tightened the grasp and played with the pins as it couldn’t help a new whimper, and hushed it and urged it to sit still. “That’s for you to remember the lesson better,” he told it pleasantly. It must have cried, body shaking again, and tried to kick just once, the movement stopped halfway through by a short chain.
Lord Teelo wondered how many pins would be good for it – should he go with the whole set the guard had brought? He settled on five, at the end, a nice even number not even halfway through what he had. He was feeling rather merciful and forgiving, and it sounded just so pathetic.
He called the guard in to urge it into the cage when it was done. It didn’t even try fighting, following the man's tagging and pushing until it was inside, drawing its limbs close and curling up to fully fit. Nearly immediately, its fingers itched towards the pins, human-like thumbs ready to work on the problem. Lord Teelo snapped his fingers to get its attention.
“No,” he said, words dripping with finality. He reached through the bars and tagged its tail outside. “The clothespins stay here for the night,” he told it. It probably didn’t understand – there was so little thought in its eyes. He let go of it hoped for its sake it understood what he meant. He didn’t want to have to punish it so soon for their lack of common language.
When he went to sleep, the shaky breaths and the rare clanging when it tried to settle more comfortable sounded like a lullaby to his ears.
In the morning, his arm stung mercilessly and unendingly, and no melodies of birds and gentle sunrays could make his mood better. He turned lazily, letting his eyes fall onto the cage. The creature was curled inside of it, eyes shut tight and ears flickering restlessly. Its tail fluttered too, freed at some point from the pins, one of its hands curling around it protectively.
Lord Teelo felt stuck between endearment and irritation. He moved and the cuts on his arm ached, and irritation won.
“Hey… you,” he called and realized he hadn’t come up with a name. He should think about it as some point, he decided grimly, and banished the thought of the last pet he’d named, back in childhood. That was a just a cat, a stupid spoilt creature with too much attitude. The lord remembered the way it looked, painted red and unmoving, after crossing one too many lines.
The creature didn’t move at his call, either. He picked up an extinguished candle from his bedside table and threw it towards the cage. “Hey!”
There was no reaction. With an undignified groan, he forced himself on his feet and towards the cage. He rattled the key across the bars, the way that always seemed to get the creature’s attention.
It didn’t react. It was outright ignoring him!
Had it learned nothing?!
He reached through the bars and tagged on its tail, finally getting some response in return – it flinched weakly and grimaced. Slowly, its eyes fluttered open, but didn’t settle on the lord. They looked as if through him, unfocused and dizzy, and a pang of worry cut through the just rage when they closed back and its chest heaved, struggling for breath.
Something was wrong.
He reached through the bars and towards its forehead, forgetting for a second it wasn’t a human. The skin under his fingers was blasting hot and sickly wet. It moved closer to his fingers, all but nuzzling against him.
Something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Updates every 7-10 days (depending on how much time I have and how obvious the poll result is) (unless something goes wrong and it takes me too weeks to get myself to write something. I'm so very sorry about the delay!)
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#okay that was rather long. I hope it's fun and worth the read!#“he was planning to be kind” yeah no keep telling yourself that#hes kinda pathetic in a way i find really entertaining to write#hes just having a full on tantrum over getting his arm scratched. the creature's paying for this tho!#I would like to talk to you about consequences btw! the creature is resistant but not immortal. it takes a lot to kill it but you just migh#i think its more fun if you know that you can push it far enough for it to outright die. so ill have options leading to this possibility :>#see how much misery it can take before its body gives out :>#...but also: please dont kill it im having fun#we need a name for it btw. please tell me what you think it should be called. well get to a naming poll eventually but ill need ideas first#also sorry for the delay! the writing wasnt writing. i would swear its an exception but no. its normal for me. it will happen again. sorry!#btw if some of you thinks (and finds the idea interesting) that the lords tantrum kinda sounds out of proportion and like the reason for it#goes deeper than a few scratches. yeah. yeah it does. i may have given him some trauma. and i might explore it#if you think its a fun thing to explore. tell me if you do!#whump#whump writing#writing#interactive whump#interactive writing#choose your own adventure#pet whump#slavery whump#nonhuman whumpee#intimate whumper#carewhumper
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While the World's Slowest Slowburn makes the most logical sense, between Kiran and Alfonse. In my heart. Moe manages to find a way to get in an overly handsy way too intimate WAY too soon I just got my ass ghosted or perhaps dumped situationship with Alfonse. In a demisexuality and trust issues honoring way. ALL under Moe's assumption, that "Well he's Not gonna get attached to me so It's Fine."
#moe tag#moe lore#BUT. A BIG DISCLAIMER PERHAPS. is i can NEVER make up my mind on any 'official' sequence of events.#still i cannot resist. thinking what would be the funniest most unique form of torture to apply here#like moe sucking alfonse off before they even kiss. alfonse along the way getting to know moe#is making some fairly reasonable assumptions all things considered. given the information he has#and in a nonjudgmental way ofc ofc#only. as he slowly but surely unlocks more information from moe. the reality dawns on him.#the one relationship moe has ever been in was long distance. he doesn't quite grasp all of moe's explanation.#but they seemed to be something akin to pen pals. they never had a chance to meet.#moe's character is funky bc it IS very blunt and upfront and honest to a fault. HOWEVER.#DESPITE. ALSO being So Bad at hiding things. despite all of that. it still manages do this sort of thing.#like. so much. not telling him that it was moe who ghosted its old friend. him not even finding out#moe has a brother. it just straight up did not mention that until alfonse trying to comfort moe is like#'you must miss your sisters terribly... 😔' and moe is like. in the most autistic way possible. well yes.#but this isn't about them actually.#this is WELL into being friends w moe at this point. again no solid timelines but moe keeps Pulling This Shit#and then there's. gesturing broadly to all of mani#like i am ALWAYS caught between what would be the most piningful payoff or what would be just the Worst way to do it.#and EXTREMELY often. the funniest option wins. also alfonse is going to kill moe w hammers.#maybe the secret here though is. there's still a slowburn occurring here.
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bad end au tweek lives btw <3
#south park#bad end au#tweek tweak#congrats! i like you too much as a character to kill you off!!#you get to suffer trying to survive on your own with no support bc you can't trust anyone to support you instead!#everyone still thinks he's dead tho bc cavisuwa is a LYING LIAR#and tweek leans into the misconception by going full ghost. his ass is NOT where anyone can find him#one of his early shelters ended up becoming a resistance base temporarily (long after he left it)#when he returned to it years after and realized ''other people have been here'' he freaked out and traveled as far away as possible#craig & cavi are the only ones aware that cavi lied about killing tweek btw. they have no idea where he ran off to#or what happened to him in the years that followed. but craig is certain he has to still be alive#refuses to believe anything else
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but its all old stuff - processing death of others, wanting to die yourself, doesnt really matter, my feelings havent changed and wont change for probably a long time. fear and loneliness do stay with you. but at least midground, i can write forever
#its so silly because i really wanted to talk to someone today. it was a bit of a relief to turn my laptop on and continue writing long#dialogues even if they had nothing to do with things i wanted to get off my chest#but how could i possibly resist giving these boys ridiculous imaginary problems and diving deep into them like they matter at all#anyway. good night everyone. lets have a good sunday tomorrow. im out of coffee#pogaduchy
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just wanna say im obsessed with your mind and i read your posts about kiryu like the morning paper. thank you for your service
(Sweats) e-even the ones about him laying eggs ?
#Thanks for the ask !#HIIIIII thank you for reading my posts im really a serial rambler so that is no easy feat. i just had a lowkey nightmare that was insect#based so its nice to think about different kinds of eggs once in a while. sorry for the eggs i just learned the word gravid and i cant stop#saying it !!! i literally opened tumblr to make another post about kiryu i was gonna say he was probably antisocial in his childhood which#is really a miracle any girls managed to notice him at all. and i believe that he was very dismissive of his clothing and appearance because#you know when youre young and trans and havent realised it but you just randomly hate everything about your appearance and dont even knowwhy#i think his hair was always too long and too shaggy and he would let nishiki comb it sometimes because he really could not stand his mane#and sometimes when it gets wayy too long and shitty the sunflower caretaker would drag him outside and just cut a chunk of it off with a#knife and kiryu would have shoulder length hair for a little while... anyway i need to give him a little girlfriend like how rikiya had one#when he was in school because all trans guys need a little girlfriend or an all girl group of friends to be his girlfriends when hes a kid#so he can carry their shopping bags and wait for them outside the changing room etc and kiryu cant resist a girl so he gets a letter from#nishiki and he tells him yeah this is probably a prank to have you wait there for hours or there might be guys waiting to ambush you and#beat the crap out of you. and kiryus like Nobody beats the crap out of me except our dad. and goes to meet this girl and he actually agrees#to go out with her and this is the thing that keeps him in school because otherwise he would literally not go. like hed walk with yumi and#nishiki and the rest of the kids at sunflower that he doesnt care about to remember the names of. and he would just wave them off at the#gate and wander the town in his school uniform and then after school he’ll meet nishiki and possibly yumi at the gate (yumi probably makes#other friends but its a Must to walk nishiki home because he’ll get lonely) and when kiryu starts going out with this girl hes obligated to#walk her home so he already broke rule one but nishikis like happy for him But he has to walk home with some other random guys now and#eventually theyll broach the topic of ‘his psycho sister’ and nishiki literally has to beat a few guys up to defend kiryus honour and when#he comes back with news of how unpopular kiryu is with the rest of the guys because he looks better with short hair than they do and has a#girlfriend whos super cute. kiryu is just like damn did you commit social suicide to protect my honour? youre my best friend. but whatever#kids get over it fast. but parents dont!! and kiryu walks his girlfriend right to her front door and soon enough her parents are going to#find out that the boyfriend she keeps gushing about is a girl and straight up take her out of school to make her stop being gay and kiryus#like but ... im a boy ... punches the ground and screams to the sky. anyway enough about dysphoria simulator im here to talk about this guy#when hes a bit older because im salivating and shaking over the thought of his bootyass rip kiryu you woulda loved thongs. i think hed hate#ripped jeans but only because he thinks theyre a waste of manufacturing. its literally better for the world that kiryu decided 2 transition#because can you imagine if she was a girl and needed to wear a bra? like she would literally have an itchy back all the time which would#give her a hair trigger temper which means kamurocho a&e room will be very healthily plush indeed. god my battery is dying i need to take a#shower noww anyway really thank you for the nice message you are so sweet ... hi ...
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setting miguel’s canon and like—as adamant as i was not to give him the suitag (this feels wrong to not spoiler lmao) i think it arising during the heartbreak incident gives it different flavour
to an extent this is how he thinks of the hero game, and as sidestep he was at peace with that. okay with the demand to burn and ache and die, so long as it was in the service of something bigger. and then it happened, sort of.
and he went well that was a disaster. let’s not do that again.
like—his whole thing is about trying to crawl out of that hole. and failing. and trying again. it comes up at shitty moments when he’s standing on top of something tall, or when he’s in a really dark mood but there’s nothing he’s doing now that makes him want to die. that’s the whole point.
to be a cliche motherfucker, there’s nothing out here worth dying for, but everything out here makes him want to live—and that’s why he never wants to be a hero again. he gets to take care of his own.
#ooough…. miri ‘longing for a glorious end’ vs mig ‘the end is not as glorious as you think’#i love that textually u can say that the sui ideation is getting better. bc it is. he’s clawing himself up by his fingernails#he does on occasion wonder what it would have been like to just. stay ‘dead’ but that never lasts long#(he doesn’t like being told to do things)#the getting better is part of the process. the resistance is part of the process.#the endpoint is the endpoint that all of us share but reached as gracefully as possible#(which makes his dynamic w both chen AND ortega rlly. interesting actually)#auden yammers#miguel serrano
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what WAS the normal child response to learning abt climate change actually. bc I’m pretty sure ‘depressed for at least 6 months and becoming deeply fascinated by apocalypses for ~3 years’ was prooooobably not it but who am I to say
#did NOT realise how much this has shaped me actually#also am not exaggerating when I say depressed I. cannot remmeber a lot of it but my parents were Worried about me#anyway I joke abt how I’m a biologist now bc of pokemon and that is very true but this is probably a pretty big chunk too#it’s just wild like that happened when I was 11 and I was DEEEEEP in the apocalypse trenches until I was at least 14#I think I wrote my first longish story when I was? 13? about waking up after some massive chunk of time to a world with no people left#that concept rlly held onto me for some reason. just all the people suddenly disappearing#I’m saying all this like I’m not still rlly into apocalypse stories but it is a mere shadow of its former self#anyway I’m so grateful for the conservation module I took this year bc learning abt the state of everything + the way out of it#scientifically instead of piecemeal from the news and the shit I could read abt. has been rlly good for my everything honestly#didn’t properly sink in until two months ago I don’t think that year this is kiiinda what I would like to do with my life#bc I’d always been resistant to the idea of doing conservation or climate science or anything bc historically thinking abt it for too long#has been BAD for me and I didn’t think I could do that forever while keeping most of me#but now I’m at a point where like. okay very likely I’m gonna be an actual scientist. and while pure science is cool and worthwhile#and I still have feelings abt how there’s no funding or anything for studies without immediate practical applications#(THEY NORMALLY COME LATER AND EVEN IF THEY DONT ITS WORTH KNOWING EVERYTHING WE CAN KNOW SHUT UUUUPPP)#i do wanna do smth that’s gonna make a difference bc like I’m kinda in a position where that’s possible here#anyway my masters is gonna be ecology and hopefully with a microclimate focus which is cool as hell and will hopefully keep stuff open a bit#and I’m gonna try do as much as I can next year. there’s some very cool stuff happening I might be able to join#anyway wow this took a turn#climate crisis! woo!!#luke.txt
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israeli terrorists gang-r//ped a child for 3 days in 1949
from ‘state of terror’ by thomas saurez
notice the recent isr//eli obsession with imagined stories of brutal violent 'pelvis-breaking' - sexual violence enacted by Palest/n/an men onto isr//eli women - projection, at its finest. every zion/st accusation is a confession.
similar to how isr//elis faked stories of 'babies baked in ovens' by Palest/n/ans, when, IN FACT, it was isr//elis who threw Palest/n/an babies into burning ovens during the Nakba of 1948.
REMEMBER: the events described in the picture happened in 1949, meaning it is very likely that these isr//eli r//pists are alive and well today, living safely in stolen Palest/n/an homes, encouraging more isr//elis to go to G//za and massacre and r//pe Palest/n/ans. on Oct 7th, many claimed that the murder of these r//pists is 'terrorism' - i disagree. to me, at least, it is justice. this justice must be served to all isr//eli r//pists and murderers. anyone who holds the isr//eli citizenship is either directly involved or indirectly complicit in this violence.
#when i saw that picture for the first time i wanted to kill myself#i cant bear living in a world that not only ALLOWS it to happen#but constantly DEFENDS the mosnters who did this#and takes PRIDE in these vermin#jbtw this happened while israeli liberals were in power ! the nakba happened while israeli liberals were in power#leftwing or rightwing - if theyre israelis they are literally all the same#any self respecting human who has the awful luck of being born israeli should reject their citizenship as soon as possible#but of course many so called antizionist israelis or leftist israelis wont do that. i wonder why#free palestine#palestine#gaza#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#glory to the martyrs#long live palestine#long live the resistance#death to israel#israeli war crimes#israel#death to america#tw rape
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working on splitting everything out into proper chapters and it's making me laugh a little bc it's, the lead into this fic is like 8 chapters of build up just for the plot to sweep in from left field and knock you on your ass; i'd feel inclined to make it Less like that but tbh i think it's kind of perfect that way
#N posts stuff#bleed more fic#there's. frankly i don't think there Is a way to integrate the Plot in any better bc it is Functionally a very left field thing#even In The Text so i feel like it has to hit the readers and the characters the same way if it wants to read coherently#i absolutely will not elaborate if it's getting done this way i want it to be as much of a car crash as possible absolute T Bone#but if everything Goes Well then i'll have the final draft for this fic done by like. the weekend gd willing#then i'll sit on it for a week and give it one last read before i start posting chapters regularly#i thought about dropping it all at once but it's been so long since i've done a multichaptered fic i can't resist#Wish Us Luck my computer is killing itself with every page i make it open; took 25+ minutes to turn on for today's work klfjglj
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ants are coming out of my shower knob BUT i successfully put my ac unit in all by myself so who's really winning
#not a fan of bugs coming out of my plumbing so like. not entirely me#im very glad to have finally put the ac in tho. was trying to avoid it as long as possible but alas#it has been so warm n humid i could resist no longer for comfy sleep#illogical rambles
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via castiglioni, via orfeo, and every other alley in between via castiglioni and via santo stefano
#long post#n 1 and 5 some very nice graffiti today#n 5 nsfw. ish#n 2 i loooooove those old timey mail boxes i wonder if they're still in use anywhere? 🤔#n 3 that church has now apparently been repurposed as an university aula magna#(best possible use of an old church)#it was closed today but i NEEDDDDD to go inside#the facade looks like that because it was never finished btw which i love#exactly like san petronio :) bolognesi kings of starting shit and then running out of money halfway through. just like me <3#n 4 JAIL BREAK TIME!!!#so apparently this building was originally a convent (there's a church still right beside it)#until napoleon got to bologna in 1797 and said he needed a place to stash his opponents so he kicked everybody out &turned it into a prison#(a young pascoli was arrested at a student protest and held there for a year and spent all his time miserable cold and sewing apparently)#fast forward to 1944 this prison is being used to hold a lot of resistance and antifascist prisoners#so a group of resistance fighters decided they were going to Break In and get Everybody Out#they dressed up as nazis/fascist republicans bringing in new prisoners got the guards out of the way and then opened all the doors!#im gonna be honest reading about it this sounds like the easiest break in job ever like those guards were not smart#but still. kings!#i'm learning so much shit on these walks i LOVE IT#n. 7 apparently in 1341 45% of the population of the city worked in silk factories which i just think is 1 very cool and 2 very funny#and this house used to host a water silk mill! the first of its kind in the city! revolutionised the industry!#and i'm gonna have to read all about it now! [voice offside: you don't have to] no i gotta#n. 8 i overheard a tour guide saying this sign actually indicates a ww2 bomb shelter????#he might have been bullshiting those tourists#i can't find any info on this online but have it here anyway#n 9 and 10 LABAS! ✊✊#they just got kicked out of there unfort but i don't think they'll stay down for long#the hands on the wall are spelling 'LOVE' in italian sign language btw <3#txt
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ppl reading repent harlequin said the ticktockman bc of the blorbo poll.... my influence hehehe
#ramblings#ppl r like 'oh the themes are so straightforward its criticizing dictatorship/society/etc' and like...#yes it is. but its also about how important resistance is#and about how no action is without its effect#and about how in condemning something too severely you are still touched by it#and about how even if it does not seem to change much you can still make A change.#and how that effect will be cumulative#like the harlequin is there yes. but his pseudonym isnt just to protect his identity#its also so we can all relate to an extent. anybody could be the harlequin#and over time more people will be the harlequin#and forced conformity will never be universal#and even if you are forced to recant your beliefs still made a mark on the world#and recognition that sometimes the enemy is too much!#sometimes it is too big and you cannot stand against it#but! the very act of defiance for as long as possible is still worthy of remembering#and will change Something.#also i love the eclectic writing style its a lot of words and things and yeah#mar does reading
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