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acacia-may · 1 year ago

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Am I Ready For Love? Or Maybe Just A Best Friend (HERO-Centric OMORI fanfiction)

Description: While playing "Mom Friend" to his college buddies' shenanigans, Hero is shocked to learn that he is widely considered the "Prince" of their campus. Though flattered, he doesn't feel he deserves the praise, especially seeing as his heart still missed the best friend and childhood love he had lost far too soon. He would always miss her and simply couldn't imagine being with anyone else...but that didn't mean he wasn't lonely. Even self-imposed loneliness wasn't free from sadness. When an unexpected conversation drudges up bittersweet memories for him, however, Hero begins to wonder if he doesn't have to be nearly as lonely anymore. He might not be ready for love, but a best friend didn't sound too bad...

Relationships: Hero & Brandi [Intimidating Girl] Friendship, Hero & Original Characters Friendship, Past Romantic Hero/Mari, Romantic Brandi/OC, Could be Hero/OC if you really wanted to see it/imagine it happening after the slowest of slow burns, but this is more about their platonic friendship and is very heavy on the past Hero/Mari angst. Mentioned Hero & Kel and Brandi & Bebe's sibling relationships and Bebe/Mikhael.

Characters: Hero (POV Character), Brandi [Intimidating Girl], Original Characters, Mari's Memory, Mentioned Kel, Bebe (Short Haired Girl/Fountain Girl) & Mikhael (The Maverick).

Genre: Hero-Centric Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Slice of Life, College Life, Lost Love, Developing Friendship, Developing Relationship, Greiving, Catharsis, Heart-To-Heart Chats, Hopeful Ending, Post-Good Ending, Hero Needs A Hug, Hero Deserves To Be Happy

Word Count: 7,779

Rating: T for some heavy themes and thematic elements (i.e. grief & healing from grief and trauma. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death & Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues including depression & suicide. Mentions of Underage Drinking & Partying) Some language.

Warnings: Major Spoilers for OMORI! Heavy themes and thematic elements (i.e. grief & healing from grief and trauma. Implied/Referenced Canonical Character Death & Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues including depression & suicide. Mentions of Underage Drinking & Partying). Some Language.

Link to original post on AO3. Please do not repost to another website. All other interaction (likes, reblogs ect.) appreciated!

A/N: This story (including it's title) was heavily inspired by the song "Turning Out" by AJR (which is just a shot to the heart when thinking of poor Hero 🥺❤️ Highly recommend), and this "Hero's Life After Mari" Universe was co-created by @randomsprinkles. Full story text below the cut.

Thank you so much for reading and cheers to good & happy things for Hero in the future! 💕

“You know, sometimes I think Kel is fine, but then yesterday he called to tell me he ate a whole can of spray cheese”—Hero sighed and shook his head—"nothing with it just the spray cheese…” He shrugged his shoulders, and Brandi laughed. Swapping stories about their siblings was one of their favorite activities—especially at these wilder college parties where they tended to gravitate towards each other in want of a familiar face and company that wasn’t completely wasted. Even though Faraway Town was small, and he had known Brandi nearly his entire life, they hadn’t really become friends until college and the hours they spent together reminiscing about home or making each other laugh with stories about Bebe’s hopeless lovesickness or Kel’s well-meaning but often silly antics. It was a relief to have a friend and a familiar face around, and Hero could never quite tell her how much that meant to him.

“Well, that’s nothing. Bebe is still lovesick over that moron who wears that ridiculous wig and calls himself ‘The Maverick,’” huffed Brandi. “How many times do you think he’s seen Top Gun? I’m guessing at least fifty, possibly a hundred.” As Hero stifled a chuckle, Brandi rolled her eyes as she leaned her elbows on the kitchen counter and poured herself another glass of something, Hero wasn’t entirely sure what and he didn’t ask. He had learned it was better not to.

“Well…his family does run the best bakery in Faraway Town, and—” Hero stopped. He was going to mention how Aubrey had been good friends with Mikhael for quite a while, but then he realized she probably had even less positive things to say about him than Brandi did.

“I guess, but that’s just his family, and even if they’re great, he’s just…”—she paused as if searching for the right word—“a bozo. I just can’t believe she’d throw away her future for some guy like that. She says she wants to go to pastry school now so she can work in the bakery. She doesn’t even bake! You just wait until Kel starts dating,” she warned with a heavy sigh. “He’ll be driving you up the wall.”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Hero chuckled. Truthfully, he was a little surprised that hadn’t happened yet, but Kel didn’t seem particularly interested in a romantic relationship right now, which Hero could respect. He certainly felt the same way himself, though for different reasons, but he quickly pushed those thoughts away and buried them, changing the subject. “Speaking of dating, how are things going with you and C.J.?”

Brandi’s mouth twitched into a slight smile. “Checking up on your handiwork, matchmaker?” she teased dryly.

Hero’s face felt a bit flushed. That hadn’t been his intention, but he fidgeted. “Are you upset that I set you up?”

“You didn’t set us up. You just…talked him up to me until I finally agreed to go out with him, there’s a difference,” Brandi insisted, and Hero chuckled. He supposed that was true. C.J. was one of Hero’s friends from his fraternity, and he had had the most obvious yet sincere interest in Brandi ever since they were paired up for a legal research course project. Hero had thought they had a lot in common—spirited personalities, strong sense of justice, same Pre-Law major and aspirations to become attorneys someday, and, though he usually tried to stay out of his friends’ business especially their love lives, C.J. had begged him to put in a good word for him so she wouldn’t see him as just another dumb, partying frat boy.

Hero couldn’t blame Brandi for her trepidation around fraternity guys. They didn’t have the best reputation, and if Hero was being honest, he likely would have tried to avoid them himself if he hadn’t been forcibly dragged…er…recruited into a fraternity last pledge term. He would say it was a long story, but it really wasn’t. They needed someone to cook and to clean around their garbage heap of a frat house—a “Mama,” as they quickly deemed him—and Hero was too polite and conflict-avoidant to refuse when Kyle, a sports medicine major in his organic chemistry class, practically begged him to pledge for his frat. His harrowing tale of how they had eaten practically nothing but instant ramen every day for the past year was really the final straw. Now he cooked not only for the fraternity but also for all their guests when they had parties since keeping everyone fed and hydrated with water when they were binge drinking resulted in less vomiting on the carpet and less passing out on the living room rug or in the yard.

That was what he was doing now, after all, making sandwiches on the stove, handing out glasses of water, and keeping an eye on the dwindling bottles of booze. He handed Brandi the grilled cheese he had been making for her with a smile, and Brandi hummed. “Thank you. And thank you for setting me up too, I guess. It’s nice not to be hit on all the time anymore. It was getting pretty annoying.” She laughed, playing with the red glow stick bracelet on her wrist, and Hero chuckled in spite of himself before she quickly added, “I’m really just teasing. C.J.’s a great guy, and we are very happy, so I really do owe you one.”

Hero smiled and shrugged his shoulders. He was glad to help, and it was honestly really nice having Brandi around more often. She cleaned up after herself at least.

“If you ever want me to return the favor, just let me know. I know a ton of girls who would kill to go out with you.”—she laughed as Hero blushed—“I’m pretty sure you’re like the prince of our campus.”

Hero’s face burned. He was sure it must be bright red by now. It wasn’t the first time he had heard that, and it probably wouldn’t be the last, but he never could take a good compliment, even a joking one. “I’m sure that’s not…” he mumbled, but his voice trailed off as he grew suddenly interested in the spatula in his hands. He shook his head and ignored the heat in his cheeks as he changed directions. “Thank you…that’s very flattering, but um…I’m just…I’m not…It’s…” He began to trip over his words, unsure of what exactly he wanted to say, but Brandi thankfully cut him off with a tilt of her head and a knowing, sympathetic smile.

“It’s complicated?” She finished for him, pointing at the yellow glow stick on his wrist. He always picked ‘It’s Complicated’ yellow for these kinds of traffic light parties. It was just the easiest—saved him from the awkwardness of being flirted with and having to turn people down while also not lying that he was in a relationship already.

Hero nodded, and Brandi patted his hand with a soft, bittersweet expression and a knowing smile. She leaned closer to him so no one would hear her whisper, “Your heart’s still with her, isn’t it?”

Something panged in that all too familiar ache in Hero’s chest. He supposed that was one way of putting it. It wasn’t something he ever really talked about, but he supposed it was no secret that he had not had a relationship with anyone since Mari. The truth was, even if he had wanted one—even if he could move on from her, he didn’t think it would be fair—not to Mari’s memory or to whoever he could be with. He had already had a beautiful love story and, even though it was cut short, he felt that to even wish for anything more would be greedy and ungrateful for the time that he and Mari did have together. That said, doubt occasionally set in that that was a bit of an unreasonable notion all things considered—he had been only fifteen when she had passed and had his whole life ahead of him. In the deepest corners of his mind, he knew she would probably want him to move on and be happy again, but at the same time even if he could someday be ready to open up his heart again, he worried that he would never be able to give that other person the love she deserved. He would never be able to say that she was the one and only love of his life and would never be able to tell her that he had never felt this way about anyone. He would always miss Mari, and, now, the only heart he had to give had already been broken and painfully pieced back together. It was so busted and bruised that, if he was being perfectly honest, he had trouble believing that anyone would even want it.

“Hero…”

“It’s okay,” he cut her off with a slight, reassuring smile, and Brandi smiled back. “I’m okay.”

Brandi nodded. “I understand,” she said with a sigh before taking a sip of her drink. “But if you ever change your mind…if you’re ever ready…you know where to find me, and I know where to find a ton of girls who would definitely be interested.” She winked at him, and he playfully rolled his eyes though he scratched the back of his neck when he felt an arm drape around his shoulders.

“What’s going on?” exclaimed Kyle, his voice already starting to slur from too much liquor.

“Brandi’s trying to set me up,” sighed Hero in a dry, somewhat joking way.

Kyle burst into raucous laughter. “Good luck with that. We’ve been trying too—since I’m pretty sure there’s not a girl on this campus who wouldn’t date our very own ‘Prince Charming,’ here, but he’s practicing to be a monk or something.”

“Well, you know, Kyle, it is possible not to have a relationship—it won’t kill you,” bantered Brandi with a frown.

“Ha. Ha. Very funny.” Kyle stuck his tongue out at her. “I know you think I’m a serial optometrist.”

“Monogamist,” corrected Brandi, as Hero covered his mouth with his hand and tried not to laugh. “How drunk are you?”

Kyle hummed, kind of teetering in place. “I dunno.” He turned to Hero. “Mama, how drunk am I?”

Hero sighed, reaching to pour Kyle what was clearly a much needed glass of water. “Here,” he said, avoiding the question. “Drink this. You’ll feel better.”

Kyle nodded and gulped down the water. Hero must have refilled his glass at least twice more, before Kyle leaned his elbows on the counter and asked for a BLT which Hero promptly went to work making. “Thanks. Look, I love my relationships. I just don’t want my friends missing out, you know? And hell, if I was that popular, I’d probably be taking full advantage of it—most guys would. Mama here is an actual saint.”

Hero’s face flushed red, but before he could begin to protest, Brandi interjected with a huffy, “I’m sure you would Kyle” conveniently ignoring his comments about Hero’s supposed sainthood. Her brow furrowed—her eyes narrowing at the green glow stick bracelet on Kyle’s wrist. “I see you’re on the market again. What happened to Tiffany?”

“Eh, didn’t work out,” shrugged Kyle. “We were too different.”

“Realized you didn’t have anything in common besides your love of sucking face?” quipped Brandi sarcastically. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“No,” he insisted, but then sighed. “Alright…sort of…but there were more problems than that.” He sighed. “You know…never mind. I didn’t come over here to talk about Tiffany.” He waved his hand dismissively before his face lit up like a little kid on Christmas. “I wanted to tell you guys, there’s this whole group of girls hanging out in the living room, and they think I look like Nick Carter.”

“How drunk are they?” scoffed Brandi.

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, I’ve always thought I looked like him. You think so, don’t you, Hero?”

Hero tilted his head. He supposed he could kind of see it. They had similarly shaped noses, heart-shaped faces, pale skin, light eyes, and blonde hair; however, the trait they had most in common was that curtain bangs haircut, and Hero was fairly certain Kyle had purposely styled his hair that way just to look like he could be in a boy band. Even so, he shrugged and said, “Yeah. You’re practically the sixth Backstreet Boy.”

“See,” he turned to Brandi with a triumphant huff, almost like the satisfied taunt a young boy might give his little sister. Hero chuckled lightly to himself. It reminded him a bit of Kel.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Brandi insisted. “Hero would say anything just to be nice.”

Hero’s face flushed. He hoped he wouldn’t get pulled back into this argument, but luckily Kyle didn’t seem to hear her, instead insisting, “And here I was going to say I think you look like Celine Dion, but now that you’ve been so rude to me, I don’t think I’ll say anything.”

“I don’t look like Celine Dion, Kyle.” Brandi shook her head before taking a sip of her drink.

“Aw, I think you kinda look like Celine Dion, babe,” C.J. interjected draping an arm around his girlfriend.

“Thanks, but I really don’t…” Brandi sighed, but C.J. cut her off.

“And I always thought I kinda look like Usher but with glasses.”

“Not you too…” she teased though there was a certain affection in her eyes and a twitch in the corners of her mouth. “What is it with guys comparing themselves to celebrities? I honestly thought that was just a girl thing.”

C.J. pouted playfully. “What? You don’t think I look like Usher?”

Once again, Hero could kind of see the similarities—oval shaped faces, wide cheekbones, warm eyes, dark skin, and bright, beaming smiles. They looked about as much alike as Kyle and Nick Carter though he wasn’t sure that was saying much, especially coming from him. Brandi, it seemed, was unconvinced.

“I think you look like C.J.” she said quirking an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not sure I know that celebrity,” he teased wrapping his arms around her neck. “Is he handsome?”

Brandi stifled a chuckle but playfully, pretended to ponder the question before finally meeting his gaze. “Yes.”

C.J.’s face lit up into that beaming, 100-watt smile as he looked into her eyes. Hero recognized that look, like Brandi was the only one in the room and they were lost in their own little corner of the world. She ruffled her hand through his tight curls, and he leaned in and kissed her.

“Get a room you two,” teased Kyle sticking his tongue out at them. With a flick of his finger, C.J. promptly told Kyle exactly what he thought of his comments before he cupped Brandi’s face in his hands.

With a bantering shake of his head, Kyle stared down at his green glow stick bracelet like it was watch. Hero turned away abruptly, his face feeling warm as if he had intruded on what should be a very private moment.

Truthfully, despite the awkwardness he currently felt at their extremely public display of affection, he really was happy for them—for all of his friends who wanted relationships and had found them. If he was being honest with himself, however, it did bring up some complicated feelings for him sometimes—made him feel lonely. It was a self-imposed loneliness, but that didn’t mean it was always free from sadness. He glanced down at the yellow glow stick on his wrist. The truth was it wasn’t all that complicated. Even after all these years, he still missed Mari, and he knew he would always miss her. It wouldn’t be fair to pursue anyone else while he felt this way—to put his new love in a situation where she’d feel like a second choice or a last resort, so he contented himself with being alone, probably forever. A bittersweet smile tugged at his mouth. Maybe he’d get a cat… he thought before turning his focus to making Kyle’s sandwich.

As he added the finishing touches to Kyle’s BLT, Brandi finally disentangled herself from her boyfriend. “We’re making Kyle and Hero uncomfortable,” she said, but C.J. shrugged, draping an arm around her shoulders.

“Eh, they’re just jealous.” He stuck out his tongue at Kyle, who stuck his tongue out back. Hero sighed. It was very juvenile, but he still chuckled in spite of himself.

“Hey! I’m glad I’m not tied down,” Kyle insisted with a dismissive wave of his hand as he took a bite out of the sandwich Hero gave him.

Brandi frowned. “Tell me, Kyle. Have you ever had a relationship with a woman that lasted more than two weeks?”

“Yes!” He nodded emphatically. “With Zuzu.” He paused then called as loudly as he could out onto the patio. “Hey, Zuzu! Come tell these morons how long we’ve been friends.”

A redheaded girl in an oversized sweater whipped around with a somewhat affectionate if bantering roll of her green eyes. “Too long,” she quipped, wrinkling her lightly freckled nose at them, as she walked through the sliding door back into the kitchen.

“You wound me, Zuzu,” Kyle gasped in teasing melodrama, clutching his chest. “What were you doing outside anyway? Aren’t you usually glued to Mama at these things?”

“Because he’s the only sober person here,” she teased, but she smiled at him. Hero’s face flushed. It was true that Zuzu, or Zoey as she was called by everyone who wasn’t Kyle, was generally his ‘partner in crime’ at all parties hosted by his fraternity or her sorority—spending the night helping him in the kitchen or passing out cups of water to the groups of plastered college students mingling around the house, and often helping with cleanup and dishes afterwards. Truthfully, he enjoyed her company and the conversations they had—talking and laughing for hours while making food, cleaning up or doing dishes together. Though he always felt guilty about putting a guest to work at his party, she always insisted she had a much better time spending the evening with a friend than she would have getting drunk and partying. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He felt the same way.

“Like you haven’t had a thing to drink,” retorted Kyle, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and staring down into her cup. Zoey merely blinked at him.

“I haven’t. I have a thermodynamics exam on Monday and need to study tomorrow.” She always blamed her aversion to drinking on her difficult civil engineering major, but Hero knew she just didn’t care for drunk partying. Now that Hero was thinking about it, Zoey blamed a lot of things on her difficult civil engineering major—not least of all the red glow stick on her wrist despite being contentedly single. “Married to school,” she always joked, and Hero often joked the same thing.

“But that’s tomorrow,” Kyle whined.“You and Mama are both such old people.” He stuck his tongue out at them, but Zoey just shrugged with a lopsided smile.

“Old people have more fun. You’ll understand someday, Kyle.”

Hero stifled a chuckle behind his hand, before turning his attention back to the stove.

“Brandi and C.J., back me up here,” Kyle sighed, but when he turned around he realized they had gone, probably to continue their PDA somewhere a little more private, if Hero had to guess, but he didn’t really want to think about it. Kyle huffed. “Whatever. Be boring old grandparents together, I don’t care. You’re the ones missing out.” He grabbed his cup, a beer, and the rest of his sandwich, leaving them in the kitchen alone.

“Don’t mind Kyle,” said Zoey with a shake of her head. “He can be such a moron sometimes, but he’s a nice guy, even if he acts like a kid especially when he’s drunk…But I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that.”

A slight smile tugged at Hero’s mouth. He had been roommates with Kyle for over a year now, and he could definitely attest to that.

“We’ve already hit ‘Touchy-Feely Drunk Kyle’”—Zoey tilted her head at him—“How hungover do you think he’ll be tomorrow?”

Hero quickly stifled a breathy chuckle, but he sighed. “I don’t know. He always thinks he can drink a lot more than he can handle.”

Zoey’s mouth twitched into a dry smile. “I bet you’re an expert on nursing hangovers now. It’s a shame that can’t go on your med school application.”

Hero laughed but immediately felt guilty for it.

“Give him one of those sports drinks with breakfast tomorrow—it’ll help. I keep a ton of them in our fridge back at the sorority house for when the girls go out partying or bar hopping.”

“You really are the mom, huh?” Hero replied dryly, and though Zoey smiled, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re one to talk.”

Hero shrugged. He supposed she had a point and not just because she was currently holding his “World’s Best Mama” mug with a dry yet triumphant smile.

“Well,” sighed Zoey gathering up some more of the dirty dishes scattered around the kitchen. “Since you’ll probably be pretty busy playing nurse tomorrow, we should probably get started on the clean-up tonight.” She looked around the room with narrowed green eyes. “It looks like a tornado stormed through here.”

With a weary sigh, Hero rubbed his forehead. Unfortunately, she was right. Given the sorry state of the kitchen alone, to say that the party had trashed their place would be a bit of an understatement. It would probably take hours to clean everything up—to say nothing of the several hours of cleaning Hero had already done to prepare for the party in the first place. Hero supposed he could do most of the deep cleaning in the morning when some of his fraternity brothers might be awake to help out, if they weren’t too hungover that is, but, truthfully, he wouldn’t mind cleaning up on his own—after all, he did most of the cleaning around here anyway.

With a sigh, Hero conceded that Zoey was probably right and he might as well start cleaning now. He reached out to take the mug and the rest of the dishes from Zoey and turned on the sink to begin to rinse them out. Hero shook his head. If he had a nickel for every minute he spent doing dishes in this house…

He felt a nudge on his elbow as Zoey joined him, rinsing off some of the plates she had gathered from the table.

“You really don’t have to do that,” he insisted.

“And leave you to clean everything up by yourself?” She paused but not long enough for him to even begin to protest. “I’ve been there—it’s no fun at all.”

“We got our dishwasher fixed,” Hero sighed with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

“Then this won’t take that long,” she continued. “All we’ll have to do is rinse them off.” She pointed a sponge at him with a certain determination in her green eyes that said this sorry excuse for an argument was over, and Hero knew she was right.

No matter how guilty he may have felt about putting a guest and a friend to work cleaning up his house, he was compliant and conflict avoidant by nature and had no stamina for arguing. She had insisted she wanted to help, and goodness knows he could use an extra set of hands. He would ultimately concede and even though she would insist it was unnecessary, later this week, he’d send her a thank you card with a plate of her favorite cookies or some flowers—or a more thoughtful gift if he could think of one. The last time she had helped him clean up after a party, he had bought her a set of Papa Chip coasters since, while they were doing dishes for hours by hand on account of the then broken dishwasher, they had somehow started talking about how they had both loved Papa Chip back when they were kids.

“And you don’t have to send me any coasters this time,” she teased, and Hero’s cheeks felt suddenly warm, wondering if she could somehow read his mind. “Not that they’re not great,” she added hurriedly. “You’re very thoughtful, but you really don’t have to do that.”

Hero’s face flushed red—he never could take a compliment—but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I know, but I felt bad and…”

“Well don’t,” she interrupted. “We’re friends, and I don’t mind helping you out. Besides, a bunch of my sorority sisters were giving me dirty looks for about a week until I lied and told everyone they were from Jared. I don’t know if they really bought it or just got over it.”

Hero’s brow furrowed. He supposed those coaters could be a gift someone’s younger brother would get for them—after all, Kel had gotten him a Papa Chip cookbook “just because,” once—but he wasn’t sure why Zoey had felt the need to lie to the other girls in the sorority house. “I’m sorry if I upset the other girls or made them angry with you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Zoey shrugged it off with a dismissive wave of her hand. “They’re just jealous that we’re actually friends.” She sighed. “I’ve tried to tell them that you’re actually pretty friendly and nice, so they could be friends with you too if they started treating you like an actual person instead of some kind of ‘Campus Prince.’”—she shook her head—“But I don’t think it’s been working.”

Hero blushed. Though he found it very flattering, he still couldn’t wrap his head around how he could have possibly become some sort of ‘Prince’ of their campus in the minds of so many girls.

“You should tell them I’m kind of a dork…” Hero sighed sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

“I tried that too,” she bantered. “But they didn’t believe me.”

Hero laughed, but his smile quickly faded. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop sending you things.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she repeated, a little more forcefully. “They need to get over themselves. I’m honestly kind of sick of the Hero fan club that goes on in our house.”

Hero’s face felt suddenly warm, and he resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. “Fan club?” he choked.

“Yes. You, Mr. Prince, are always the hot topic of conversation,” she teased with a lopsided smile. “If you asked practically anyone, they’d say you are probably the perfect man—even my sister who has this awful obsession with bad boys thinks so, which is really saying a lot.” She paused, and Hero stifled a chuckle. Zoey’s twin sister, Lorraine, was a sweet and bubbly girl despite her terrible taste in boyfriends, a topic often bemoaned by both Zoey and Kyle. A slight tint of pink flushed in his cheeks, he supposed it really was quite the compliment coming from her. “And it doesn’t help that you’re so mysterious.”

“I don’t think I’m mysterious,” Hero chuckled sheepishly, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

“I know, you’re not,” Zoey cut him off with a reassuring smile. “And I’ve tried to explain that to them multiple times, but they don’t really listen to me since they’re convinced I’m trying to steal you away.”

A blush filled his cheeks, and he turned away from her abruptly. “What?”

“You know, the idea of men and women just being friends, is a little beyond them, I think,” she quipped. “It’s ridiculous, but can you blame them? I mean in their minds you’re a real life ‘Prince Charming,’ and even though you’re interested in women and could have pretty much any girl in the universe you wanted, you’re really, really single.” She chuckled, as Hero buried his face in his hands. He could almost picture that bright, cheeky grin on her face, though he wouldn’t—no, couldn’t turn to look at her again. “You’ve got to be hung up on somebody, otherwise why haven’t you chosen from the hoards of adoring women who would kill to be with you?”

Hero’s face grew hot. He was sure it must be bright red by now. “Zoey…”

“It’s a big topic of conversation is all I’m saying.”

Finally, Hero managed to pull his hands away from his face, if only because his eyes were beginning to burn from the soapy dishwater. “Can you please tell them that I’m very flattered,” he stumbled, still blushing furiously. “But I’m just so busy with school that I’m just not…really looking for a relationship right now?”

Zoey shrugged. “Tried and failed, but I’d be happy to tell them again. Don’t expect them to believe me though. At this point, everybody’s making up their own theories.”

“Theories?” Hero choked.

“You know you have your normal ones like you’re too busy for a relationship or you had a bad relationship in the past and just aren’t ready to put yourself back out there again. Then there are the ones that you actually already have a relationship, but you’re very private about it so no one has ever seen or heard of her. There are a couple of wild ones in this category like she’s a celebrity so you have to keep it a secret so the press doesn’t find out and you end up in a tabloid.” She winked at him. “Just like in a movie.”

“You are making this up.”

Zoey shook her head. “No, I swear I’ve heard that one, and that’s not even the craziest one. I’ve also heard a rumor that you’ve been promised in an arranged marriage since birth so that you can take over as the CEO of a toaster strudel empire. And, of course, my personal favorite: that you have an eccentric billionaire uncle who wants you to inherit his vast fortune but only on the condition that you remain a reclusive bachelor just like him.”

Hero laughed in spite of himself. “That’s—none of those are true…” He cleared his throat. “Except the first one about me being too busy.”

“I know, and that’s what I always say. Everybody keeps coming to me and asking about it like I have some secret, inside knowledge or something, but I have a theory just like everybody else,” she joked waving her hand dismissively.

“You have a theory?”

Zoey stopped but shrugged. “I mean…not one that I just sit around and think about, but you can only be asked the same question so many times before you start thinking…” Her voice trailed. “It’s not one I ever tell anyone,” she insisted. “If anyone asks me, I always tell them exactly what you just said, which is that you’re flattered but too focused on school and your future to worry about a relationship right now.”

“Then what’s your theory?” he asked half-jokingly, half-actually-interested.

“You really want to know?”

Hero put down the plate he was scrubbing and shrugged. “Kind of.”

Zoey paused, and when she sighed, Hero fidgeted. “But you don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to,” he hurriedly added.

“No, I…” She stopped though there was the slightest tint of rose in her pale cheeks. “But it’s just a theory. I don’t want to offend you or…”

Hero’s brow furrowed. Offend him? What in the world could she possibly be thinking? His breath caught in his throat. She couldn’t…know…could she?

“I won’t be offended,” he reassured her quietly, but his heart was beginning to pound. “Do you…not believe me? Because it really is true. I’m very busy with school and—”

“No. It’s…it’s not like that,” she cut him off with a sigh as she placed her sponge on the counter. “I really do think that you are very busy with school—studying for your classes and the MCAT and all of that. You just don’t have the time or energy for a relationship right now, but…I don’t think that means you don’t want one.” Zoey paused, her voice growing quiet, and she met his eyes. “I think you do want a relationship—otherwise you wouldn’t be so lonely.”

Hero inhaled sharply—his breath getting caught in his chest. Biting his lip, he looked away from her, staring down at his trembling hands. He wanted to hide—curl in on himself—maybe figure out a way to laugh it off like Kel or Kyle might be able to do, but he was frozen, shocked. Of all the things she could have possibly…? No, that wasn’t the question. The real question gnawing at him was had it really been so obvious?

“Hero?” He could hear the concern in her voice, but he wouldn’t—couldn’t look at her. “Listen, I can just…stop there…”

“Is there more?” The question slipped out before he could stop it.

Zoey sighed. “Yes, but I feel bad. I can…”

“Go on,” Hero squeaked, barely managing a nod.

Zoey sighed again, and Hero wasn’t sure if she was even going to continue until she finally said, “But…the thing is…you don’t just want a relationship with just anyone. You—you want a relationship with someone you can never be with. And even though you know your love is doomed…”—she paused—“you gave your heart to her a long time ago and you can’t even imagine being with anyone else.”

Something ached in Hero’s chest. Somehow he knew that was what she was going to say, but he had to hear it for himself. He wished he could sink into the floor, could hide from her, from his memories, from himself again. And yet…there was a part of him that didn’t want to.

“Wow…” he barely managed, after a long, heavy silence.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“No,” he quietly interjected, his voice hitching. “That was…pretty spot on actually…”

“Oh Hero…” Zoey sighed. “I’m sorry…I…”

“Don’t be.” He fiddled with the sponge in his hands, and after a few intense scrubs at a particularly stubborn stain, he finally added as nonchalantly as he could manage. “I asked, and you were right…”

“I didn’t want to be right about this.”

Hero bit down hard on his lip as something burned behind his eyes. Scratching the nape of his neck, he let out a breathy, self-deprecating chuckle. “I guess I had just hoped that it wasn’t so obvious that I was so sad and pathetic...”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic.”

Truthfully, he hadn’t realized that he had even said those words aloud until she had spoken them back to him.

“And I don’t think it’s obvious—except to your close friends maybe?” She paused, sighing and placing a gentle hand on his arm. “She must have been special and very important to you. I think it’s sweet that you’re still devoted to her and there isn’t anything wrong with that, unless, you know, she’s married or something, in which case…”—she began to quip breathily, probably in an attempt to make him smile again—“but I don’t think you’re the type…”

Hero’s mouth twitched in the corners, but the ghost of his smile faded as he shook his head. “No, she…uh…” The words caught in the back of his throat. “She passed away.”

“Oh Hero, I’m so sorry.” Zoey wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. He took a deep shaky breath, staring up at the ceiling ignoring that prickling feeling in his eyes. When she pulled away from him, he somehow managed the slightest twitch in the corners of his mouth.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago…” He wasn’t sure if his weak reassurances were for her or for himself. “I should probably be over it by now.”

As he couldn’t bear to look at her, he could only imagine what her face looked like right now. He shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. “I’m—I’m sorry,” he spluttered. “I’m sorry for making you sad. I—”

“No,” Zoey cut him off. “You didn’t make me sad. Hero…if you want to talk about it, you can tell me. I’m your friend—I care about you.” She paused, and Hero bit his lip. He could feel her gentle hand running comfortingly across his shoulders. “You’re not going to hurt me. I can take it.”

Hero finally breathed—a long deep exhale of the breath he had been holding for far too long. She had no idea how reassuring those words were. Still…try as he might, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her. He opened his mouth, but the words got garbled in the back of his throat.

“Take your time,” she whispered.

After several deep breaths he finally choked out, “Her name was Mari.” His voice hitched, then the words began to tumble out of his mouth. “She lived next door for as long as I can remember, and I…I always thought she was just the most amazing person. She was smart and funny and very talented—she was wonderful at arts and crafts and gardening and a really gifted pianist. We even used to play together sometimes, and she was so kind and very generous—she was always going out of her way to help someone and make them happy. And when she smiled”—his voice cracked—”You would have thought the sun shined brighter.”

He paused, sniffled. “I think I loved her before I even knew what that was…And I couldn’t believe it when she felt the same way about me.” As a bittersweet smile tugged at his lips, his eyes grew misty. “We were high school sweethearts, until she died.” He swallowed hard—that familiar, hollow pang in his chest ached.

“We were 15. It’s kind of a long story but…at the time, we didn’t know how she died. We thought—I thought—she had ended her own life”—he inhaled sharply, shakily, unable to stop the words even if he wanted to—“It was probably the darkest time of my life. I was a wreck, and I blamed myself. I…I didn’t even know she was depressed. I thought if I had just talked to her—had just held her tighter, just loved her more—better then maybe she…” He stopped. Blinking back the tears in his eyes, he sniffled and cleared his throat. “But it was an accident. There were…witnesses…we found out later. She—she had a bad knee, you see, and…and she fell down the stairs…landed wrong and…” He stopped abruptly. “You—You’d think learning that would make the guilt go away but it…”

Hero swallowed hard, but he managed a shaky sigh. “But…But with time…eventually I just…threw myself into school and work and extra-curriculars. My parents had always wanted me to be a doctor, and all I could see was years of school, years of residency, long hours of studying and clinicals and work and I thought I could just bury myself in it—stay so busy that I wouldn’t feel it anymore, but it doesn’t ever really go away.”

He sniffled and wiped his eyes again with a shaky chuckle. “I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I…I’m usually pretty okay. It��s been so many years now, and it doesn’t hurt like it used to. But…but sometimes I’ll see a wave of dark hair or hear a name that sounds like hers or someone playing a waltz on a piano or our song on the radio and”—his voice hitched—“I just don’t know if I’m ever really going to be over it.”

He swallowed hard. “And you’re right. I can’t even imagine being with anyone else. It wouldn’t be fair—to her, to that person, I mean. What if—I couldn’t love her as much? And you know, I think maybe we all get that ‘once in a lifetime’ love in our lives and I’ve already had mine. It would be greedy to even want anything else. But…but mostly I think it’s just that I wanted to be with her forever, and”—there was a hitch in his voice as tears began to pool in his eyes again—“even now, all these years later, I guess I…I just still don’t know what forever looks like without her.”

A tear finally struggled free from his eye and splashed down his cheek, followed by another, then another. Hero frantically swiped at them, but they wouldn’t stop. Zoey’s arms wrapped around his shoulders again, and she pulled him close.

He wasn’t sure how long she held him. How long he listened to the sound of her steady breathing, felt her hand gently tangling in the hair at the base of his neck. How long it was until she whispered, “I wish you had gotten your forever…”

It wasn’t until he felt the tremble of her shoulders, heard the way her voice had hitched over her words that he realized she was also crying.

He pulled away from her and finally looked in her green eyes—warm and teary. Hero swallowed hard. He had never learned what to say to someone who was crying for him. “Please don’t cry.”

“Sorry,” she said with the twitch of a bittersweet smile. “I’m not sure I can do that.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” he began to ramble. “I just—I…I really should be over it and I just completely dumped all of that on you and I was so…”—he struggled to find the words—“weepy and melodramatic and needy and…”

“No,” she gently cut him off. “You were real. Don’t apologize for that.” She wiped her eyes, and her expression softened. “Hero, what happened was so awful, and the idea of you having to go through something like that, it just—” She stopped. “That’s why I cried. You didn’t hurt me. I told you I can take it, and I’m okay.” She sighed. “And you know for what it’s worth, I think the whole idea of ‘getting over it’ is bullshit. There are some things in our lives that we’ll just never get over. We can get past them, but they’re still going to be there—we just have to learn to build a new life around them, so don’t beat yourself up. You’re still entitled to feel sad. Heck, you’d be entitled to never leave your room again after something like that, but here you are, out living your life, so give yourself a break, okay?” She nodded at him with a slight, reassuring smile before she patted his hand. “And for goodness sakes, stop worrying about me of all people. You don’t have to be the hero all the time. I know it’s your name, but…you don’t have to take it too literally.”

A light chuckle reverberated in his chest, and a smile twitched in the corners of his mouth. Before he could say anything, however, Kyle burst through the patio door.

“Woah…what’s goin’ on?” He stopped abruptly, and his expression softened. “Are you okay?”

Flushing, Hero swallowed hard nodding and sniffling as he frantically wiped at his eyes. He had completely forgotten himself and couldn’t believe he had just shared what was arguably his biggest, deepest secret in the middle of a house party.

Zoey thankfully jumped to his rescue with a remarkably believable, “We were doing dishes, and poor Hero got some dish soap in his eyes. We’ve been trying to rinse them out, but they got all watery.”

Though it took a few moments, Kyle eventually nodded in understanding. “Oh. That sucks, man,” he said patting him on the back. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Hero managed a slight smile but shook his head. “No, Kyle. Thanks, but it’s okay. I’m fine.”

Kyle nodded again, but Hero saw him glance over at Zoey as if waiting for additional reassurance or instructions. When she nodded at him, Kyle sighed. “Alright, well if you need anything let me know, okay?”

Hero nodded at him then handed him a glass of water. Kyle took it with a smile then walked off towards the living room. When he was gone, Hero sniffled again and turned back to Zoey, sheepish and embarrassed.

“Zoey, I’m sor—” he began to apologize again, but she cut him off.

“No. None of that, Henry,” she insisted with a pointed emphasis on his real name. He could tell she was trying her best not to smile as she said it, probably strange and unnatural for her, if Hero had to guess. It was strange and unnatural for him too. No one ever called him that, ever. He had, of course, told her that she could if she wanted, but she never had—not until now that is. Hero’s eyes widened. Strangely enough, he felt a smile tugging at his mouth and the light flutter of a chuckle reverberating in his chest listening to her say it.

“I’m serious. I’m going to keep calling you that until you stop that,” she insisted. “Stop being a ‘Hero’—stop worrying about everybody else for just a second. It won’t kill you to be a little selfish for once…and it’ll honestly make the rest of us look better,” she quipped with a slight smile, clearly trying to brighten his mood.

It worked. His mouth twitched into a small smile as he replied dryly, “I’m sorry. I’ll try…”

“Good,” she said, but her expression softened as she reached out her hand to him. “But really…how are you? What do you need? What makes you happy when you feel like this?”

Hero shrugged his shoulders. If he was being honest, he didn’t know—even after all these years, he didn’t know, but… just having someone there, having someone listen to him…he already felt better. His face softened, and he felt something warm spreading through his chest as he met her kind eyes.

“Maybe a hero sandwich?” he shrugged his shoulders with a gentle smile, and her face brightened.

She gently nudged him in the arm before playfully taking his spatula. “Great,” she said. “I’ll make you one.”

#hero needs a hug #poor hero 🥺 I only want good things for him #hero deserves to be happy #really inspired to write this after my will Hero find love again poll #warms my heart to know that so many people want good things for Hero #male-female friendship for the win!!#my fanfiction #thanks for reading #major spoilers for omori #reposted to my side blog

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