#rengonemad

[rengonemad]

Hi there, do you have works for sale or write on commission?

Thanks for asking! I don't at the moment. I have a novel I'm planning on publishing in some manner soon, and I have toyed with the idea of creating a Patreon and perhaps taking some commissions there, as well as publishing my own work.

I haven't done it yet because I doubt my fanfic readers would be interested in that. I'm not comfortable taking money for creations done with copyrighted characters or worlds, so any fanfic I wrote for commission or Patreon would be off of Public Domain works only. The majority of the writing would just be my own original novels/short stories, and perhaps some of the latter on commission. (I do have quite a bit of original work, I just haven't tried to publish yet in any way.)

If anyone does wish to commission a fanfic from me, I will gladly hear your idea for free. :) I can't promise anything, but I love hearing new concepts. If I have the capability/desire and end up doing it, I'll publish it on AO3 for anyone to read.

[the-creative-lounge-blog]

Chapters: 3/4 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Yamato | Tenzou, Yugao, Shizune (Naruto) Additional Tags: Romance, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Hatake Kakashi is Bad at Feelings, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, First Kiss, 5+1 Things, Developing Relationship, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Eventual Happy Ending Summary:

June 24th.

There was nothing objectively special about that date. It wasn’t a holiday or a birthday (at least not Kakashi’s or Tenzō’s). It wasn’t the anniversary of any large battle, nor was it precisely the summer solstice.

But it was, unquestionably, the day that Kakashi had chosen to thank Tenzō, year after year.

  (Or: Kakashi thanks Tenzō in increasingly flustering ways, plus one time that Tenzō thanks Kakashi.)

[kalira]

I am super curious about your WIP "Sai, Sparklepuppy, and Sketches" xD

This one came about from discussion in my writing server! (As . . . many of my plans do or at least are affected by. >.>) I love my Dog-sensei & Sparklepuppy theme, as is no surprise I am sure, and it has been something of a plan in discussion for a while to add in Inkpuppy Sai - I have plans for this directly and have written a little with him inexplicably roped in with Kakashi-sensei and Sakura. Inkpuppy trying so very hard to learn how to be a Good Puppy and watching Sakura and Kakashi (and maybe winding up rather more animalistic than one might expect for someone with no blood link like the Hatake, Inuzuka, Yashagoro, etc.) and bonding with them.

This thread, however, worked off the idea that Sai sketches people around him with mysterious perceptiveness, among other things . . . and also that he was not entirely aware he was being adopted into a pack until long after it had happened. (Of course; poor silly Inkpuppy.)

A little snippet!

“Is that . . . us?” Sakura asked, and Kakashi glanced over to where she was stretching beneath the wide branches of an oak, Sai beside her with his tools. “Me and Kakashi-sensei?”

“Yes. Is it . . . bad?” Sai asked, looking at his paper.

“No, of course not!” Sakura assured him, smiling brightly.

 Kakashi’s perspective/observation of said drawing:

The larger figure was a large wolf lying in a loose curl near the trunk of a tree represented more by sketchy lines than directly drawn, a book with a restricted symbol lying open over his muzzle. Kakashi’s lips twitched. Near himself was a much smaller canine - a puppy - the lines of her body softer, crouched over a rather thick book lying open between her paws. There was a stack of more of the same just visible past her shoulders.

There may be more drawings featured in this, including getting Sai included. Honestly this WIP is a handful of very tiny scenebits and some rough notes mostly in my head, thus far.

Art as representation of both people (inside and out) and feelings/bonds!

(Check out my WIP list and ask me about anything interesting!)

[rengonemad]

Selfish Thanks

New fic! This is for the @tenzoscabin Theme of the Month Event for April: Celebrating Traditions! :3

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou Additional Tags: Romance, Fluff and Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Hatake Kakashi is Bad at Feelings, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, First Kiss, 5+1 Things, Developing Relationship, Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Eventual Happy Ending Word Count: 8,640

Summary:

June 24th.

There was nothing objectively special about that date. It wasn’t a holiday or a birthday (at least not Kakashi’s or Tenzō’s). It wasn’t the anniversary of any large battle, nor was it precisely the summer solstice.

But it was, unquestionably, the day that Kakashi had chosen to thank Tenzō, year after year.

(Or: Kakashi thanks Tenzō in increasingly flustering ways, plus one time that Tenzō thanks Kakashi.)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30931889/chapters/76387715

[rengonemad]

5 Scars, 1 Decision to Heal

This is a gift for Dami over at the KakaGai Hell Discord! I hope you enjoy! >.<  Rating: General Pairing: Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai (can be read platonic or as the prelude to romance) Warnings: None, Read More is just for length Word Count: 2k

5 Times Gai made Kakashi consider Scars, and 1 Time Kakashi Understood

1. 

The first time Kakashi heard hushed respect in his father’s voice, they were in the presence of Sarutobi Hiruzen. That made sense, Kakashi thought: he was a man famed as the Sandaime, the Professor, the strongest shinobi in Konoha, and the student of both the First and Second Hokages. If there was anyone that the legendary White Fang would respect, it would be Sarutobi Hiruzen. 

The second time Kakashi heard hushed respect in his father’s voice, it was quite different. He was about to start at the Academy and a bruised and scarred kid in a green bodysuit was thanking Kakashi for an insult. 

“At this rate, this kid could become even stronger than you.” Sakumo said quietly, his palm a heavy weight on Kakashi’s head. 

Kakashi didn’t understand. The kid was weak. Not only had he been rejected from the Academy even though he looked a little older than Kakashi, but he was covered in dirt and abrasions. That meant he was weak enough to get hurt, and stupid enough not to hide it.

Kakashi asked for the kid’s name anyway. If his father respected these people, then Kakashi could do that much. 

It didn’t make sense, but Kakashi trusted his father. 

He trusted his father when he suggested Kakashi make Gai his rival. He trusted his father when he said that Sarutobi Hiruzen was a great man. He trusted his father when he said that Kakashi shouldn’t worry about him—that Sakumo was fine, even if it looked like he hadn’t left his bed since Kakashi left for his mission five days earlier. Even if the dishes were molding and Kakashi heard whispers about the White Fang, about his fall from grace—

Kakashi trusted his father. 

He did, until there was no more father to trust. 

Maito Dai and Maito Gai were the only people who attended Hatake Sakumo’s funeral. 

They cried more than Kakashi did.

Two weeks later, Kakashi moved out of Hatake Estate and into a chūnin barrack. It was a cramped, one-room affair, but that meant it was easier to clean. 

Most importantly, it didn’t have blood-stained tatami. 

It didn’t have any scars.

2.

The first time Kakashi got a scar that couldn’t be hidden by clothes, he got a sharingan and ninety-eight pounds of guilt to go with it. 

They were all signs of his weakness. Signs of his failures. 

But that didn’t mean he was willing to get rid of them. 

The Uchiha petitioned for the removal of Kakashi’s sharingan. There was no proof it had been given willingly, Fugaku said. (Disregarding the fact that not only was Rin a witness, but that the Yamanakas could have proven it from both of their memories if necessary.) It was sacrilege for a kekkei genkai to be wielded by someone outside of the clan. (The entire notion of shinobi having honor was questionable, in Kakashi’s humble opinion.) Keeping a kekkei genkai without a matching bloodline would kill the host by chakra drain—

—that part actually had some validity. Kakashi nearly died of chakra drains three times in that first year, before he finally figured out exactly how far he could push himself, how to recognize the warning signs when the sharingan began to consume more than Kakashi had to give. Effectively losing an eye meant an imbalance in depth perception and narrowed field of vision, both of which were easily deadly for a shinobi. Reading gave him a skull-splitting headache for the first two months, and his handwriting suddenly went from precise to nearly illegible and always slanted at an angle no matter how he turned his head. 

Rin looked at him differently, too. Even with one eye, Kakashi could tell. Her smiles were brittle. They shattered the moment she looked away. 

She often looked away. 

The scar was a sign of his weakness. The sharingan, a mark of his greatest mistake. 

It was a mark he deserved to bear. 

3.

Gai wouldn’t leave Kakashi alone.

Part of that was probably Kakashi’s fault; Maito Dai didn’t leave a body behind, but Gai held a private funeral for him anyway. Kakashi was the only one to attend. 

Over the next few years, Gai kept accumulating scars—some of them drawn by Kakashi’s own hand. They never tried to seriously injure each other—if weapons were involved, they fought until one part was disarmed or forced to concede. If taijutsu was the arena, then a successful pin for five seconds constituted a win. Kakashi never used fatal ninjutsu techniques. 

But accidents happened. Sometimes Gai didn’t dodge as quickly as Kakashi thought he would. Not hurting Gai in those instances became part of Kakashi’s practice, although not one he ever told his “Eternal Rival”. Gai’s ego wasn’t as untarnishable as he claimed it to be.

Gai’s scars steadily grew in number, overtaking his body with rough lines and calloused flesh. Kakashi’s own scars were fewer in number, but they, too, accumulated as the years passed. 

Their scars were different. Gai’s were a show of his dedication, the effort he put into perfecting something that no one thought possible of him. 

Kakashi’s laced his skin with memories that couldn’t be shut out. 

4.

When they were seventeen, Gai got rejected. He had brought her dozens of bouquets, composed entire sonnets, exclaimed about her to Kakashi every rare chance he got. Apparently, she said he was too much for her. Kakashi could see her point, but Gai really didn’t deserve the daffodils thrown back in his face. 

Gai only mourned for one day before he got up again, the same as at the end of any fight, and poured his sweat and tears into taijutsu. He used that motivation to master the fifth gate. 

Two months later, he was interested in another girl. He courted her with exactly the same amount of gusto as he had the first time around. This girl accepted. When she broke up with him politely two months later, Gai was still certain that true love existed, and absolutely willing to have his heart broken a million times over in order to find it.

Kakashi pretended to read while listening to his rants. He pretended to read while Gai sobbed in passion or mourning. He pretended to read while watching how the accumulating scars on tanned skin never reached Gai’s humongous, tender heart. 

Kakashi pretended that he didn’t think Gai was just as cool as he was ridiculous. 

5.

The first time Kakashi saw Gai truly affected by a scar, it wasn’t his own. 

Rock Lee was probably the first person in the world (other than Hatakes) who truly respected Gai. Unfortunately, while Lee and Gai’s ostentatious personalities, bullheaded stubbornness, large hearts, and bushy eyebrows all gave them obvious similarities, there were important points in which the two differed.

Those points led to Lee’s self-destruction.

While Lee had grown up in peacetime, with romantic dreams of shinobi and what it meant to be one, Gai had been faced with the stark reality of it from the earliest time he could remember. 

Gai understood consequences, and he understood how to judge an acceptable loss—at least, most of the time. Gai had known death firsthand before even leaving the Academy, and had seen his own father make the ultimate sacrifice of the eighth gate. He understood risks, and he had the ability to weigh them, whether most people realized that or not. 

Yet, Gai gave such tremendous power as the gates to a child who was full of more idealism than reason, more impulse than temperance. He gave that power to a boy who certainly would one day become a fine shinobi, but who had never seen death or destruction or the scars shinobi so often didn’t survive. Gai gave that power to a child who had never had anything more precious on the line than his own pride—and Lee suffered a powerful price for it. 

Kakashi couldn’t be beside Gai for those early days after Lee’s injury, because Gai wasn’t the only one who had make a mistake. Instead, Kakashi spent weeks sleeping for mere minutes at a time on a sheer rock face, training himself and his own childish student—one who had seen far more than many full-grown shinobi ever did—in the vain hope that they would both survive whatever Orochimaru would bring them next.

He thought that Sasuke’s past would teach him how to use his power well. Naively, Kakashi thought he had chosen better than Gai, that Sasuke wouldn’t suffer the same consequences.

He was wrong.

Kakashi and Gai had both failed their students—but Gai’s was an error of judgement, one in which he had placed his own history and capabilities onto a kid that wasn’t quite ready.

It took less than two months for Kakashi to realize his own error had been far worse. His own error had been one of the heart: specifically, of neglecting Sasuke’s. 

By then, it was too late.

The most painful scars, Kakashi knew by that point, were the ones he could only see, and do nothing to heal.

+1

Four years later, scars mottled the Earth itself. Konoha carried more than her share of them. Even months after Pein’s attack, rubble stood in half the districts and gouges were still being filled in with dirt and cement. Tenzō had long since erected temporary and permanent structures for the village’s basic needs, but post-war, there were too many necessities and not enough resources to allocate to them. One of the only projects completed during the first few months of the Rokudaime’s tenure was an additional ward to the hospital, designated for rehabilitating physically debilitated shinobi. 

No one had come out of the Fourth Shinobi War without a scar. Some of them were simply more noticeable than others.

“Doesn’t the Hokage—” Gai wheezed as he struggled to pull himself into an upright position in the hospital bed. Kakashi remained by the window, listening to the sound of hammers banging in the distance. He knew better than to offer help for something Gai could do himself—no matter how much time, and pain, it could cost him. “Have better things to waste his time on than—visiting an old rival?”

“I’m hiding,” Kakashi shrugged. He glanced over his shoulder to see Gai’s expression. “Maa, no need to look so disapproving. It’s only until I make a decision.” He held a palm up in pacification. “I promise I’m not shirking my duties.”

“Ah.” Gai nodded wisely, but his voice was breathy, hoarse despite the water bottle he had already half-drained. “I have—every faith you’ll make the best choice!”

With entirely burnt chakra pathways, Kakashi could only imagine the pain and fatigue Gai was going through—at least a dozen-fold what Kakashi himself had ever experienced with the sharingan. It was a miracle he was talking at all. 

Well—not a miracle. Gai’s strength wasn’t the gift of any God. 

It was something he had formed himself.

“You still have faith, Gai?” Kakashi murmured. “Even after all this?”

Gai’s bushy brows descended towards the center, the corners of his lips tugging down as well to form a frown. He was always sharper than people knew.

Tanned and scarred fingers clenched around his bottle of water. Plastic crinkled beneath the grip that had lost decades of strength in a single, life-changing moment.

With Gai, Kakashi knew: it was strength that could be gained again.

“In you, Kakashi, I always have faith.”

Kakashi turned back to face the window. His fingernails dug into the meat of his palm, hidden within his pocket. The other hand rose. He brushed fingerprints against the scar that bisected where the sharingan had once sat—a constant reminder still of Kakashi’s biggest failures. 

But that scar no longer stole Kakashi’s sight.

That scar no longer stole Kakashi’s chakra.

That scar no longer blinded Kakashi to the changes he could make in the world, and in those around him. 

It had taken over twenty-five years for Kakashi to understand why Gai could be who he was—why he could accumulate scars that were only surface-deep, why he could take even worse ones in stride and use them to drive himself forward: 

Gai didn’t define himself by his scars.

Perhaps it was time that Kakashi learned how to do that, too.

(I, uh, also made this edit. xD I dunno why.)

[the-creative-lounge-blog]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Mild Gore, Horror, Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Tengu, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Tragic Romance, is it a happy ending?, i think so, But it's up to you to decide, Discord: Kakashi Lounge, 30 Minute Fic, Seduction to the Dark Side, Halloween Challenge Summary:

"My father, the first time I asked about you—he told me that Tengu were portents of war." Kakashi murmured. “I didn’t believe him.”

Iruka’s dark hair fluttered, breaking into the outline of the full moon. "Do you believe it now?"

[rengonemad]

Street Lights Turn On Too Soon

Written for ShikaSaku Week, Days 1 and 2:  Prompts: Streelights at Dusk, “I’m not the one you wanted, but damn it I think I could be what you need.” Pairing: Nara Shikamaru/Haruno Sakura Length: 764 words Rating: Teen Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort Tags: Pining, Unrequited Love Becomes Requited, This Is Just A Giant Metaphor, Shikamaru’s POV

The street lights always turn on too soon.

They try to illuminate the night when the world still believes it’s day. They reveal everything they have to give, while the sun is powerful enough to drown them out. They waste energy, trying to do something for which the world believes it has no need. They come to life at dusk, before creatures and the moon are ready for the lesser light.

Shikamaru knows she isn’t ready to see him. He knows that she can’t see him for what he is, not while her gaze is still turned towards the sun—even if her sun is steadily moving away, putting miles and mountains and memories between them.

But he can’t help but to try. He knows that, once the sun sets fully, she’ll be alone.

It’s not that he doesn’t think she can light her own path—he knows that she can. But he wants to walk it with her. He wants to illuminate her way and be the safety she can return to when the darkness encroaches. 

A flickering fluorescent bulb may be a shitty imitation of the sun, but has value when regarded as its own. It serves a different purpose. 

If she would let him, he would serve her.

But street lights always turn on too soon.

He wants to be the place she goes to when she’s walking alone at night and the memory of the sun leaves her cold. He wants to show her that, if there are shadows, there must be light. He wants to show her the beauty the world can have when it’s dark and quiet and there’s just the hum of electricity and clouds blotting out the stars. He wants to show her that she’s worth so much more than the bitter sun that leaves her every night. 

For her, he will burn at all hours. He’ll work until his filament is blown, and then he’ll replace it, if it would help her. He’ll be the kind of light she needs, even if the only support she desires is that of a friend. He wants more, wants to feel her light where it seeps through her pores, taste it radiating from her skin—

But street lights always turn on too soon. 

She passes him by without noticing he’s there, jade eyes reflecting the sun’s dying rays. 

When the sun is fully gone, he thinks, maybe she’ll see. 

She’ll see that the moon and the sun were never meant to share the same space. The sun has no regard for the moon; it will overcome it every time, and the moon will let it, thinking it can only shine when someone else casts their light upon it. 

Even if it isn't him, even if she finds another light—he needs her to recognize her own. 

But he knows, even as he asks, that she isn't ready. 

He knows that he should have waited until the sun was fully set. 

He tries to return her awkward smile, because she never owed him a chance at more, even if he had wanted it. 

He’ll still be there for her, even if she only touches his shoulder, never his heart or lips or palms. 

He’ll still be there for her, even if she finds another light she wants to share her world with. 

He thinks it won't be him, but there is consideration in her gaze that wasn't there before. Time doesn’t change all things—but as years pass and the sun sinks beneath the horizon, he can’t help the burgeoning hope in his chest as she turns jade eyes his way.

He swallows his pride and softens his smile. 

He can no longer see the reflection of the sun in her eyes.

He is content with this, he thinks. He’s content to see her facing the future instead of the past. He’s content to see her rising into the sky, even if it makes her untouchable.

He’s content if she’s happy.

The world revolves and steadily, slowly, she draws closer as he stands still. 

She walks through the shadows he casts, mingling them with her own. He holds his breath, prepares to accept whatever she has to say. 

She doesn’t use words. 

She steps into his light, and he feels warm. 

She carves a space for both of them, and the reflection in her eyes is his own.

She shines.

She reaches for him.

His heart pounds as her fingers cover his, and her lips do the same.

The street lights always turn on too soon—

But they last through the darkest nights.

[rengonemad]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Naruto Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka Additional Tags: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Awkward Flirting, Romance, Umino Iruka-centric, POV Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi is Bad at Feelings, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Character Study, Pining, Love Confessions, Kakashi Week 2020, lots of comfort, Kakashi just wants an excuse to see Iruka, Ok maybe he wants a little more than that, The rating MIGHT go up to M Summary:

Brushing debris off of the note, Iruka gently unfolded it, trying not to rip the damp creases.   "Ukki-san enjoys watering three times a week, gentle dusting of his leaves, and daily haiku readings. He tells me the light from your bedroom window is perfect. He would like to thank you for taking care of him, and tells me I owe you two favors now. Back in twelve days. P.S. A perfect mission report is worth at least four favors, sensei, so think of something else."

A henohenomoheji stared at Iruka in place of a signature.     (Or, Kakashi doesn't know how to ask someone to care for him, so he'll get Iruka to look after his plant as a proxy.)

[rengonemad]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Kushina, Hatake Kakashi & Namikaze Minato Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Umino Iruka, Namikaze Minato, Uzumaki Kushina

(Potential TW below the cut-off)

Additional Tags: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Hatake Kakashi Has Issues, POV Hatake Kakashi, Canon Compliant, Food as a Metaphor for Love, There's A Tag For That, Happy Birthday Hatake Kakashi, KakaIru Week 2020, Character Study, Pining, Self-Harm, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Kakashi Week 2020, BAMF Uzumaki Kushina, She and Minato do their best

Summary: 

It wasn't too difficult for Kakashi to ensure he was in Konoha every September fifteenth. Unlike ANBU, jōnin's lives weren't controlled every minute of every day.

Kakashi almost wished they were.

Then he would have an excuse to stop the self-destructive cycle.