#renfield really fucked me up in a good way

[sad-gay-cowboy]

What you don't understand is he's really pretty

[spaceagebachelormann]

Hello! If you’re taking headcanon requests, may I please request headcanons for what Count Dracula & Erik the Phantom would be like as husbands?

dracula and erik as husbands !

✧ warnings — some mentions of death and possible spoilers for dracula and phantom of the opera. also like 2 sexual jokes i think

✧ additional info — i got so so excited by this request omg <3 if u wanna id rlly appreciate it if u sent me more requests for phantom of the opera and classic monsters!! also not really specific versions of them but i mainly had the book versions in mind

✧ m.list — nav.

ೃ༄ erik destler

he wouldn’t wait to marry you

like at all

the second you show him you’re willing to be in a relationship with him and he’s sure you won’t leave him he’s already planning your wedding

of course if you wanted to take it more slowly he might be a little impatient but he’d try his best for you :)

but he’d be so happy if u were ready to get married as soon as possible

the sad thing is he’d get so stressed while trying to plan it because he’d want it to be absolutely perfect because that’s what he didn’t get with christine

and he’d try to convince you not to worry about it or help plan the wedding becaus he wants it to be a surprise for you

however he’d talk to you about what you want <3

so unfortunately he doesn’t know a lot of people 😭 so your wedding audience consists of daroga, mme giry, and maybe christine and raoul if ur lucky and manage to convince them (but they’ll be a little on edge)

and u can invite ur family if they’d be accepting of erik!

once y’all are married it’s so sweet and romantic ohmygod

he’d make u breakfast and dinner every single day, even if he’s had a particularly bad day

he just loves doing things for you

he’d also love writing even more songs and sometimes even entire operas for you or about you, you’re his muse

before he was able to take breaks from bis work to focus on you for awhile

but now you’re married he just can’t be away from you for two minutes

will sit on the floor and talk to u while u shower

or he showers with u

his love language is spontaneously twirling u around and redoing ur wedding dance in the most random places

also carrying u to ur bed if u fall asleep on him or somewhere else, before marriage he’d just let u sleep there and make sure he doesn’t wake u up

such a sweetheart <3

ೃ༄ count dracula

takes his time to marry you

but that’s only because he takes a lot of time working out when and where to propose and shit

and then probably has the wedding planned before you even say yes

which obviously you do

he’d be a little cocky abt u saying yes ngl cause he already knew u would

but the wedding itself obviously takes place at night and mainly other vampires will show up, but he won’t let them remotely near you assuming he hasn’t turned you yet

if he has then go talk to them!! there’s no risk of u dying or getting turned by someone else!!

he’d also rlly like cooking for u and shit since he canonically had to sprint around his castle to make it seem like he had butlers or whatever 😭😭

how good is fucking amazing btw

like god damn

and obviously he has a comfortable ass vampire bed that he’d let u put 60 pillows on if u want

he’d also like have a thing for ur hair no matter how short or long it is

he likes standing behind u and running his hands through it when u do literally anything for funsies

and his fingers are really pretty and long and cold so they feel nice

he also brushes it a lot esp in the mornings

he also doesn’t even look another persons way when he’s with u

ever.

and his brides are now just. draculas sisters or wtv 😭

unless u want them to be ur wives too he won’t complain

as much as he loves you there’s time where he js like. wants personal time to go kill people think

id also imagine ur very close with renfield

like draculas kinda mean to him but ur rlly nice to him <3

like for example waving at him when u see him or just going “hi renfield!!”

renfields probably the one who found u ngl

i can’t think of anything else for him mb pookie 😔 i’ll add to this later

[froggywritesstuff]

lego flowers | teddy lobo

ship/pairing: Teddy Lobo x g/n!reader

fandom: Renfield

request: anon: pleasseeee teddy x gn reader fluff??? Post movie, renfield revives him and he's learning how to be a good person?? Xx

content warnings: ooc (probably), mentions of death/murder, idk how to write endings, swearing, teddy's insecure and an idiot, fluff, confessions of love, barely proofread

word count: 1357

A/N: i started and rewrote this three times cause i got so embarrassed thinking someone actually wants to read this and they specifically asked me to write it like ahh

When you’re dating Teddy Lobo, you say goodbye to most of the normal things in life. One thing being you never have to wait in line at the shops anymore. You don’t love the fact that it’s because half the people in the room are terrified of the Lobo’s and the other half are basically owned by the Lobo’s but what can you do? You could end the relationship, cut off all contact and start a relationship with someone not so dangerous and unpredictable. But your heart tends to speak louder than your brain some days.

Unfortunately, you had found yourself rather infatuated with Teddy. While he was rough around the edges, you really did love his company, and he had shown you that he loved yours. While engaging in romantic relationships with any member of the Lobo family - or any crime family for that matter - definitely isn’t the smartest thing to do, you can’t deny how happy you are with him. 

You weren't expecting him to die... then be revived by the same person who killed him. Any-who, you postponed going to therapy and helped Teddy move into your apartment (since he was legally dead and that's kind of an issue when it comes to renting a place to live in). There really wasn't much difference to your relationship since you basically lived with him before. However your apartment had much space less than the Lobo mansion had. Teddy however? He was acting differently. You supposed that dying and being brought back to life would do that to someone. Though physically, he was the same - he still had the black slicked back hair he thought made him look badass, and the big brown puppy dog eyes that severely contrasted his supposed badass look. But when he spoke, he seemed more reserved and careful, like he was overthinking every word he said to you. It was almost unnerving hearing him talk to you for the first time since he had been brought back. His cocky, arrogant demeanour was there but so faint you could barely recognise it. He reminded you of how he acted when you first started dating

When he texted you for help, you assumed he was still an idiot - something not even death could change - and hurt himself or got into more trouble with the police. You weren't expecting this.

You rushed home to your now shared apartment, welcomed by Teddy's loud swearing from your bedroom. You make your way to him, and knock on the door, your ears picking up the sound of his voice muttering a string of curses in frustration.

”Teddy? It's me.”

“Fuck- one sec.” you hear him sigh. The door is pulled open and you’re met with Teddy. His hair is dishevelled and his face has a frustrated expression, but his face soon softens when he sees you.

"What'd you need help with?" you ask, and you can just make out the red hue on his cheeks. 

“Uh…” he presses his lips together, before stepping out of the door frame. On the floor you see a pile of lego bricks, spread out in no particular order. The instructions are discarded off to the side, so you’re sure Teddy didn’t spare a glance at them. You walk further inside his room and inspect the lego further, seeing majority of the pieces resembling red flower petals.

"You're making lego flowers?" you see him nod his head, "Ok sure, why not…" you mutter, sitting cross legged in front of the pile of lego.

"So can you help me?"

You grab the instruction manual, “Yeah I’ve nothing better to do.” 

Teddy follows you, sitting beside you on the floor. He leans toward you to see the instructions, but you know he’s not registering anything he’s reading. You don't think he's even reading.

"I'm guessing you didn't read these?" you ask, despite knowing the answer.

An exasperated and embarrassed sigh leaves his pink lips, "They were too confusing, they didn't help."

You can't help but laugh softly at his words. He looks at you, eyebrows furrowed slightly, "Teddy it's lego. You just add one piece to another piece."

He rolls his eyes, the corner of his lips turning upwards, "Don't act like I should be ashamed for being bad at lego."

"Oh, you should definitely be ashamed."

"Well if you're so good at lego then help me already."

"I am and I will." you smile at him before grabbing some bricks from the pile and putting them together as the instructions say. You see him looking at the lego in your hands so you make sure to make the flower slower than usual, hoping he'll pay attention and be able to make one on his own. In a matter of minutes, you're holding a completed lego flower. "One down, eleven more to go."

"Eleven?!" he almost whines as he holds his head in his hands.

You roll your eyes, "Don't be a baby, it won't take that long." you shuffle closer to him to give him a better view of the instructions, "Come on, let's both make these and we'll get it done quicker." You're certain he'll slow you down but you know it'll be more fun doing it with him.

He lifts his head away from his hands and hesitantly grabs some pieces that match the ones printed on the instructions. After quite a bit of struggling and rebuilding (somehow he managed to completely break the lego into pieces just when he was almost finished), he successfully put together some lego.

He rolls his eyes when you start applauding and pretending to tear up, "I feel like you're patronising me."

"I can't imagine why."

You almost don't want to finish this bouquet. You haven't been able to spend genuine quality time with him in a long time. And you're not complaining about how pretty he looks in the evening sunlight, his face screwed together in concentration. But surprisingly it doesn't take as much time as you thought it would. Teddy places the last piece onto the rose which he adds to the bouquet and lifts it up hesitantly.

"Do you feel accomplished?" 

He thinks before answering (something you're still not used to), "No, not really."

"Great. So now what?" he just shrugs, staring intently at the bouquet. You stand up from the floor, "We should probably start making dinner."

“Wait,” he stands up, awkwardly looking down at the lego in his hands. He looks bashful as ever holding out the lego bouquet to you. “Fuck this is stupid. I wanted to make these for you, cause real flowers just die. And I wanted to thank you for still being with me and helping me through everything. You’re a beautiful fucking person who deserves flowers that don’t just die... I wanna be better than I used to be, and you're a big part of why. It took me literally dying to come to this, but I don't wanna die and not come back and leave you with a bunch of shitty memories of me being an asshole."

"You did this for me?" you can barely process his words as he places the lego in your hands, and his hands wrap around yours in the process.

"I-I know they're dumb, I just thought it would be cute and dumb." he sighs.

Your hands grip the lego tighter, your heart swelling, "It is cute Teddy. And I think you're really sweet for doing it. Even if I did most of the work."

"Can I make dinner for you? You won't need to help me at all, I promise."

You smile at him, "I'd love for you to make dinner for me." your hand reaches out to cup his cheek, "If you want to and not because you feel like you have to prove you're not an asshole." his eyes meet yours and his eyebrows knit together slightly, "I love you and whatever shitty memories you think I have of you being an asshole do not affect how much I love you."

He smiles at you, and you know it's a genuine smile, "I love you too."

[annabelle--cane]

okai renfield 2023 thoughts: the critical consensus is correct, this is not a very good movie, but I found it a lot of fun and if you're a dracula enjoyer who doesn't mind constant action scenes that are gory to the point of farce then I'd recommend giving it a watch.

and for some longer thoughts (ft spoilers):

not a whole lot of black characters for a movie that takes place in new orleans.

I liked how they leaned into the bela lugosi pastiche, they really went for it with dracula's design and the few re-made scenes, I found that really fun.

like many other tumblr users I have Problems with the way "narcissism" has entered the pop psychology lexicon, but I like the overall premise of reading dracula as a very mundane and recognizable kind of abusive boss.

I don't think this could have been handled well in a movie like this so I'm glad they didn't go for it, but I personally think there was room to do something interesting if they had adapted in renfield's psychosis. like, psychotic people are particularly vulnerable to getting trapped in abusive relationships and dracula wields a lot of "the outside world will hate you, only I truly care" over renfield's head, I think a more indie project with a similar premise could have really gotten into the weeds with that and said something meaningful about ableism and this "simpering minion" archetype which renfield has been assigned by pop culture.

I don't usually care about this too much but I noticed some fairly poor shot-to-shot continuity across a few scenes. ex., before the restaurant fight kicks off, rebecca steps directly up to the barrel of ted's gun and almost presses it directly into her forehead in a big emphasized act of defiance, but when we cut to different angles she's standing a good few inches farther away.

there was some fun set up and pay off, ex. the ant farm, the cocaine magic circle.

I enjoyed the evil milf, I must say. wish we got more of her but she just kind of disappears at the end

the fight scenes bored me at first but eventually they crossed the gore event horizon and became hilarious. sure, the sense of stakes kind of gets lost when our protagonists are regularly dropping like twice the bodies of the antagonists, but more importantly, renfield ripped a guy's fucking arms off.

I am absolutely begging to know what the thought process was behind the quinc(e)y morris allusions. I would assume that the implication is that rebecca and her family were distantly related to book quincey somehow, but then why do they have his first name as a last name and not his actual last name? why was her dad called morris quincy? I am flummoxed.

would love to do a proper comparison with bit 2019, focusing on how they play with the dracula mythos and portray vampirism as power imbalance, but that would require brain cells and I am sorely deficient on those.

[c-schroed]

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Or Why The Probably Most Accurate Movie Adaptation Of Dracula Still Is Not Accurate Enough

I mentioned some time ago - while salivating over the marvellous razor scene of Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula adaptation - that there is quite some stuff to unpack here. And now I found some time to unpack. So let's begin. I'll start with the good stuff, firstly the good stuff that's not in the book (i.e., the Flourishes), than the good stuff that's true to the book (the Well-Conserved). Thirdly, I'll make note of things that were, unnervingly, changed (by which I mean They Came Back Wrong), and then I'll deal with what is unfortunately left out from the book (the Missing). And finally, finally I'll rant over that two bad things that never were in the book in the first place (a section I'll call JUST WHY?).

So. A tragedy in five acts. Here we go.

Act I - The Flourishes

The razor scene. I think I dealt with this enough by now. It's perfection and I'll die on that hill.

The music. Obviously, Bram Stoker's gothic lil masterpiece is lacking some gorgeous score. But mourn no longer, because Wojciech Kilar cooked up some dashing, pushing tune for us, fitting perfectly to this dark tale of spreading darkness and deepening madness.

Some basic knowledge about blood groups. Yeah, Stoker can't be blamed for this, but still. It's a nice addition to remind us that we do indeed live in a world where blood groups exist.

The Westenra Estate. As much as I pity that the lovely town of Whitby did not make it into the movie, I do love Lucy Westenra's house. Because I'm a sucker for hedge mazes. Simple as that.

Those glasses. Those. Fucking. Nice. Glasses.

Act II - The Well-Conserved

The plot in general. Yes, there are a lot of maddening differences, as we will see soon. But still, this movie at least makes the impression that most of the people working on it had indeed read the darn novel. Which is something that I can't say about many other Dracula adaptations I have seen.

The costumes, the sets, the atmosphere. Well done, everyone!

The Actors. The good thing about being not native in a language is that one is not very prone to dialects that seem off. And as I happen to not be a native speaker of English, I have little problems with Keanu Reeves and Winona Ryder adding some US touch to what should be very, very, v e r y British characters. I even find Reeves perfectly fitting for the oh so darn young Jonathan Harker. And the rest of the cast is marvellous, too (with the exception of Winona Ryder, see below for details). Especially Tom Waits, who is hard-wired to the name of Renfield in my brain ever since I first saw this movie. And Gary Oldman as Dracula… Well. I think I already made clear what opinion I have about that sexy bastard.

Some lucky few of lovely quotes made it over to the film. Dracula's welcome. The Fowl Bauble of Human Vanity, of course. And Qunincey almost making me faint when saying "Little girl" when I least expected it.

Act III - They Came Back Wrong

The dates. Goshdarnit, the dates! It's an epistolary novel, so why make the effort of making up completely new dates for events that already had a precise date in the novel? I just don't get it. And it unnerves me. Every. Fucking. Time.

Time in general. Watching the movie after Dracula Daily makes it feel so very, very hasty. Jonathan travels to Castle Dracula like it's no thing at all. And the first few days in Castle Dracula are condensed into one weird evening.

Dracula meeting Mina before Jonathan is back. I really, really loved the book for avoiding the most terrible tropes. And then comes this movie, and struts right into this terrible pitfall.

Mina. I'm sorry, usually I love the work of Winona Ryder, but here she was way too bland. Maybe it was because her character had quite a revamp (ha. ha.) and no one cared to tell her what new approach she should take. But whatever reason, the clever, adorable train fiend of the original did not deserve this!

Act IV - The Missing

The Voyage of the Demeter is way too short. Where is "But I am captain, and I must not leave my ship"? Where is the poor sea captain tying himself to the wheel? And where is his funeral? Oh, I really missed all that. And, I mean, I don't mind hearing Anthony Hopkins read the lines, but would it have been such an expense to at least hire an additional actor to voice the correspondent or the sea captain?

Jonathan Holding Mina By the Arm. That's really not an objectively big issue. That's just me who fell in love with JonMina after reading this chapter. And almost no one does it properly. They deserve justice!

(Thanks a ton to @smieska for capturing my mood just perfectly!)

Act V - JUST WHY?

Elisabeta. Don't get me wrong here: All of the oh so tragic Drac backstory they invented for this movie is terribly unnecessary. But in this sea of uselessness, the tragically deceased wife of Vlad Țepeș that just so happens to perfectly resemble Mina Murray is an audience-insulting island of unoriginality. I mean, yeah, I guess someone wanted to add some romance to the story of Vlad the Fucking Impaler. Because, well, nineties or so. But Mina, of all women? Why not invent some new character that can be bothered with such stuff? Why ruin an all-nice JonMina ship? I don't get the whole new backstory, and I especially don't get this aspect.

Dracula raping Lucy in his shitty werewolf form. Everything about this is wrong. And it has no relevance for the plot. Just. Blergh.

Epilogue

It's cruel to watch Francis Ford Coppola's take on Dracula right after finishing @re-dracula. I know that now. Everything is still too fresh. It's a good movie, after all, but especially because it's quite good it is frustrating to be so terribly aware of all its shortcomings. In a few weeks or so, I would recommend it, again, I guess. As long as it's still Dracula Off-Season. 7 out of 10 points.

[visions--of--collisions]

for @spidereticas who requested 400 words of something I have fragments of: here is .. more than 400 words of an inspired-by/follow-up to I Get So Hungry (When You Say You Love Me) by AbiCats16, in which an experimental trial at Spider Society goes poorly for Hobie (and for Miles, in turn)

EXCERPT: untitled vampire!hobie sequel fic • hobie/miles, drama, romance, angst, friendship, established relationship; rated: m

“Ope,” said LYLA, somewhere close to Hobie’s ear. “Incoming!”

Peter crossed the cell to get the door, and Miguel dismissed the last of the medical team with a sigh. Miles’ anxious voice carried over the noise of their departure; Hobie rolled his shoulders and climbed to his feet.

“You’re cleared to go,” Miguel informed him, pointedly not looking up from his readings as Miles led the charge across the room with Margo and Peter in tow. “Your system’s clean, but I’m going to ask that you take the next twenty-four hours to rest. Margo here’s agreed to cover your patrols for the evening; Pavitr will take over when she’s done.”

“Just call me Renfield, I guess,” Margo drawled. She watched with raised eyebrows as Miles reached up to grab Hobie’s face, turning it this way and that like he was looking for physical proof that the serum’s effects had faded.

Like he wasn’t the one with the scars to prove its viability.

“Let’s not,” Miguel grunted. Hobie snorted. Margo hadn’t been privy to the trials until she’d shown up for her morning shift and Peter’d convinced him to rope her in, according to the texts Miles had sent from Medbay. Miguel hadn’t been happy about it then, and he wasn’t now, it seemed like, regardless of how much sense the choice made. He dismissed the projected screens with a curt motion. “There were no previous reports of any side effects, but if anything feels off, ping LYLA and come back to HQ. That applies to you both,” he added, with a meaningful look Miles’ way.

Miles made an affirmative noise, though his focus remained on Hobie. “You look wiped, man,” he observed. He thumbed across the hollow under Hobie’s left eye.

“M’alright,” he mumbled. He caught Miles’ wrist and managed a smile. “Better for seeing you in one piece.” There was an adhesive bandage matching Miles’ skintone just visible under the cowl neck of the sweatshirt Medbay must have supplied him with. The tall boots and the slate-coloured trousers had to be theirs too then, because getting him into anything that tight that wasn’t his Suit was usually a once-in-a-blue-moon kind of occurrence.

Miles chuffed. “‘In one piece?’ Are you kidding, I slept through the whole thing. I dunno what they gave me, but that stuff was potent.”

“This man was fully snoring and drooling when I walked in there,” Margo agreed. “Sheets fucked up, pillows on the damn floor. Giving the whole ward a free show! Pete really had my ass worried for nothing.” She folded her arms, tucking a neatly-folded bundle that looked awfully like Miles’ Suit into the crook of her elbow. “I thought I was gonna be hauling both your corpses through a portal, the way this dude was talking.”

“In my defence, you kinda blipped out of there before I could elaborate,” Peter pointed out. Hobie noticed he was still just in his Suit, for once; his memory of the night was all over the place, practically blank in some spots and almost excruciatingly vivid in others. MJ’s dressing gown had vanished in one of the latter - really, in the clearest stretch - after Jess and Miguel had burst in to rescue Miles before things went any further south.

Didn’t really take an educated guess to work out what had happened to it.

“Well, you know, you tell a girl one of her friend’s in a cell dosed up on Nosferatu juice and the other’s bleeding out in Medbay, it really lights a fire under her!”

Miles’ pulse was strong and steady under his thumb. Hobie didn’t remember feeling for it. He loosened his grip and let Miles slip free.

Miles grabbed his forearm before he could step back. “You good to get outta here?” he asked.

The hopeful tilt to his smile made Hobie’s answer easier than it probably should’ve been. “Yeah, mate.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m good. You?” he couldn’t help but ask. There was none of the feverish sheen or the washed-out look of his skin that had shocked Hobie into letting Miles go after their last ill-fated conversation, even though he was looking for it. His hair might have suffered a bit of shrinkage while he spent the night in a hospital bed, but it was negligible. 

The shirt was thick and its sleeves fell past Miles’ knuckles. He couldn’t make out any telltale bump where the gauze might be taped over an IV site. Hobie decided he’d ask when they had a second alone.

Assuming Miles was feeling up to that any time soon. Who could blame him if he wasn’t? “I have been ready, Hobes,” Miles informed him. He was smiling, his eyes creased at the corners in the way that meant Miles was laughing at him.

The knot in his stomach unravelled a bit. “Alright, shit. Don’t hang about on my account.”

Miles reached up just in time to intercept the folded bundle of his suit before it hit him in the head. “I am also ready to leave, if we’re all done here with this Twilight bullshit,” Margo chirped.

“Great. Thanks. How do you even know what that is?” Miles groused. He tucked himself against Hobie’s side, looping an arm around his lower back like he was ready to do the walking for him if need be. Hobie waited until Miles met his eye to drape his arm around his shoulders with exaggerated enthusiasm, pecking his temple when he glanced away sheepishly.

“Are you kidding, Pavitr lives for those movies! He’s got Collector’s Editions. Gayatri hates them and it’s like he doesn’t even care.” She oof-ed a bit as Hobie hooked his free arm around her avatar’s shoulders, but tucked her hand in between his and Miles’ sides readily enough.

“Huh. You know, that scans, actually,” Peter opined.

“Hmm. Espere un momento,” Miguel interjected, behind them. “You can go from here. LYLA, open access for Peter, por favor.”

“Y’got it!”

Peter rubbed his hands together. “Okay, where to, guys? Straight to ‘138 or should I drop you someplace else?”

Miles shook his head when Hobie glanced at him; Margo rolled her eyes and called up her mask. “Nah, mine’s good. I can give you the coordinates.”

Peter tapped at his Watch’s interface. “Go for it.”

Hobie rattled off the location of the first towpath bridge that came to mind; he hadn’t moored anywhere near there, but they could swing the rest of the way, and he had a better shot at finding Roxie the further afield they were. A minute later, the portal opened up a hole in the adjacent wall of the cell. Miles stuffed his Suit into his waistband, underneath the shirt.

“Okay, you guys, have a good one. Call us if you need anything! Me and Jess and Miguel are all burning the midnight oil this week, so don’t worry about catching us at a weird hour. Reach out whenever. Try and get some rest in the meantime, and make sure you eat, Hobie!”

The three of them waited in front of the portal, staring. “ … Anything else?” Margo prompted him.

“Remember what we talked about,” Miguel said, before he could answer. He was squinting at something LYLA was showing him, half-turned away. Just in case anyone was audacious enough to hope for context clues or a clarification, Hobie supposed.

He didn’t need any, but it was the principal of the thing.

“ … Cool. Alright.” Even with her headgear donned, Margo managed to give Hobie a disbelieving look. “Catch you later.”

She nudged Hobie forward; on his other side, Miles’ hand closed around the arm that hugged him close, and they walked through the dimensional door.

*

The portal dropped them into the half-light under a bridge in Islington. Experience had quickly taught Hobie to note the coordinates that pointed away from nearby bodies of water (it hadn’t been a learning curve so much as one or two deeply unpleasant and inconvenient swandives directly into the Thames) so instead they fetched up against a wall covered in faded graffiti and posters and some piss, which was still better than the alternative.

Between the three of them, it was Miles and Hobie who managed to cling to enough of their wits to stick out a leg before they all face-planted into the bricks. Margo let out a surprised breath where Hobie had twisted her back by the shoulders, on reflex.

The ruddy cast on the walls dimmed and died as the portal closed up behind them. In the gloom it left behind, they collected themselves and took stock. Hobie lifted his right arm high enough to check his watch without letting go of Miles. It had been after ten in the morning when the last tests declared him free of any traces or symptoms; his HQ watch had already dutifully ticked over to local time. 17:02, the glowing orange face read.

“Huh. Well this feels pretty on-brand.” Margo’s gear shone lilac when Hobie turned; her silhouette was stark against the fog spilling into the far end of the tunnel.

“What do you mean?” Miles asked. He reached up and squeezed Hobie’s hand, waiting for him to take his arm back before he turned to consider the other end of the tunnel, which looked much the same.

“I dunno, the London fog, this Dracula nonsense. You know?” Margo put her hands on her hips, frowning as she glanced about. Her lenses multiplied. “Where’s the good ship Demeter at?”

“Not here.” Hobie stretched a bit and checked his web-shooters. “We’ll swing over. Haven’t seen Roxie in a bit; I wanna find out where she’s got to.”

“‘Find her?’ In that?” Margo said, doubtfully. Her peripheral lenses changed colour as she tabbed through different visual modes, casting soft rainbow reflections off the surface of the water. 

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Miles watching the rippling colours as he clipped on his web shooters and dug out his mask. Hobie adjusted his guitar strap. “S’fine, I know her usual spots. Let’s cut.”

Miles’ and Margo’s footsteps were bare whispers following the echo of his boots as Hobie lead them out onto the towpath. In the open, the mist hung thicker in his lungs than it did in the air; Hobie tugged his mask on and told them to stay close, just in case. 

The approaching rumble of a lorry made him straighten up, and the other two turned to follow his gaze. Briefly, as its headlights cut through the haze, Hobie’s eyes caught on the sliver of skin between the slouchy neck of Miles’ jumper and his mask, where the bandage underneath strained against the torsion of his neck. Then Miles turned to him, the lenses of his mask refractive and questioning. Hobie nodded and threw out a web after the truck, letting its momentum haul him off the ground.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

[nicoleanell]

I would love to hear your meta on the scene from Renfield with the priest and the vampire hunter, if you’d be willing to share!

SURE, THANK GOD YOU ASKED.

My thing with that scene is it was peak Give Renfield A Hug and also the most irredeemable thing he does in the movie short of destroying some kid's ant farm, and that instantly made me fall in love with him.

I like the fact they made Renfield an aggressively sympathetic character and at the same time not wholly innocent. Robert Montague Renfield is neither a good guy or a bad guy but he deserves to be okay. (Also he may come off way more "sane" as movie Renfields go but he's not a well person lol, and the fact he's in an all-gender support group for abuse survivors very rapidly becomes not so much A Joke as it is the Entire Point of the movie.)

In the flashbacks, it's totes played for comedy and riffing on the 1931 movie and there's a little bit of an "unreliable narrator" vibe to it when Renfield's like, it was good we had great times etc. :))) We don't really know how in control of himself he is or how much he's whitewashing. But then we get the church/vampire killer thing and there's like... the first seed of something more real going on. The movie tells us upfront that the last time Dracula was almost defeated he stopped it, willingly, and it wasn't normal vampire enthrallment stuff as much as a very human emotional choice.

There's some heavy-handed manipulation happening and it's *completely* non-supernatural. They'll lock you away. I'll protect you. I care about you. And Nic Hoult's big woobie eyes hold all the sadness and isolation and genuine hope/desire to be loved, and it's unhealthy attention but there's nothing better out there for him. 🥺 <- emoji rendition of Renfield and also me.

Oh and for good measure his "he really means it this time" internal monologue is 100% meant to sound like toxic/abusive boyfriend stuff he's echoing from the support group, which is A Joke in this movie until it's not anymore.

(Side note, I saw you mention this in another post - the mental institution headcanon is Valid. I would've liked for it to be explicitly in there somewhere but as far as I'm concerned nothing *contradicts* it and it's one of like 3 facts people associate with Spiders Georg over here. So I'll take that crumb that the threat of him getting locked up is just as likely to be in an asylum (again) as a jail. And yikes the legitimate fear of that being WORSE than the hell he's currently in.)

And the second he does the thing, some priest *completely proves Dracula right* by immediately throwing more guilt and blame on Renfield and being like YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE HE KILLS NOW. Which, fair! But also, dude, you're being the opposite of helpful here! Lmao fucking Catholics. He knows this! It's why he can't get out! Of course he chose Dracula and he did it on purpose and he did it because of trauma and it *cemented* him being trapped forever. This is the climax of an entire other movie in which Renfield is probably not the main character but would definitely end up my problematic fave anyway.

SO YEAH. Between that and the reveal he left a whole wife & kid, there's such an interesting theme of guilt/shame on top of self-esteem and learned helplessness issues I was not anticipating in this movie. It's important for him to get to a place of: "I want to blame this legitimately awful monster but I also did SOME of this to myself, and when I can accept that without immediately going into a fetal position, it gives him less power over me."

Does not remove his power completely! 'Cause Renfield 2023 is also not, like, saying that you can just Easily Decide To Leave Your Violent Abuser. But the affirmations about being enough and deserving better and seeking better in spite of having failed or fucked up before are important.

[iwillfightgodandwin]

(Minor spoilers for Renfield. Warning: This in a small rant about Renfield and how people criticize harshly on things that don't need to be.)

As an actor, I fucking love Renfield (2023). There is the beautiful colouring of the movie, the blending of 1930s film techniques with 2020 techniques, interwoven story telling with even little things coming up later, perfectly crafted relationships dynamics and each character has their own motives through the movie.

That being said, A LOT of things I've seen people talk about in the movie is generally negative. People agree that it's a decent movie, but some of the things people have a problem with don't make sense from a film/acting standpoint.

I've seen people say that Rebecca was unnecessary as a character and that her arc didn't mesh with the rest of the movie. I disagree. Renfield needed someone to show him that he didn't need to bow down and he COULD stand up for himself. However, the vampire hunter trope has been overdone. It would be tiring if Renfield teamed up with someone who knew what they were doing. So they gave us a parallel story. Someone who was heading in the same direction with the same goals, but not the same path.

I saw one person complain about how many different genres they stuck into the film. Let me be clear, it's a Comedy/Horror. They added Action into for several reasons. One of the main ones is because in a good action sequence you can get really good comedic bits. I also believe the person made a comparison to Marvel with it's setup. Honestly? It's just the way the film industry is heading right now. More action, more banter, more real in a way. Marvel is just one of the few big ones jumping onto the bandwagon, give it a couple more years, you'll see everyone doing it.

I also saw someone say (negatively) that Renfield was a bit of a thriller as well and to that I say "please google what a thiller is." You could classify 90% of action or horror movies as thrillers.

And to the people who say "what about the drama and romance? Those are in the film too!" Every movie nowadays has to have a romance arc. Trust me, as an aroace, it bothers me too. However the romance in the film never went anywhere. It was basically onesided and was pretty authentically dissolved into a friendship by the end. As for the drama, you try making a movie about toxic relationships without it getting too real.

All in all, there are some thing about the movie that aren't the best. There are some moments where too much was put in, and there were a couple where not enough was. But that's the beauty in film making, not everything has to be perfect, especially in a comedy.

I've noticed a growing trend in the past few years where movies (especially independent ones with a small fanbase) will get heavily criticized. I can barely enjoy movies nowadays without someone talking about how a movie was trash, or how it failed. It's disheartening, not only as a fan but as an actor as well.

I don't know, maybe this is a sign to start making videos on film techniques in movies. Balance out some of the negativity.

[tenebris-lux]

Both Harkers got shocks today. Jonathan saw the guy himself (already scoping out another target, it seems); and Mina learned that her best friend died. When last she left Lucy, Lucy wasn’t looking so good; but since then, Mina’s gotten letters saying Lucy had been going on outings with Art, was gaining weight, and had a date for her marriage. All of a sudden…. Dead. Out of nowhere.

And Jonathan already repressing what he’s seen, within the same hour. He really can’t deal with it now (if ever), so he’s protecting himself as well as he can.

Once again, Jack shows that he doesn’t always “get” people. To us, Van Helsing’s breakdown makes sense—the poor guy’s gotta cope, and from a third person, Art’s statement about the blood transfusion being marriage makes for all kinds of a situation. That was Van Helsing’s, “wow, that is so fucked up, it’s funny,” moment.

Sometimes when a topic haunts your mind, it starts connecting to random instances one witnesses. In Seward’s case, he’s obsessed with “insanity”. So, when he first hears Lucy’s symptoms, a part of his mind goes, “insane?” Lucy’s statement of what happened the night her mother died: “insane?” Van Helsing having a reaction that’s not typical to the situation: “insane?” I think he wants things to be black and white and easily ordered, but for a doctor of psychiatry, he knows so little. He’s completely off base with Renfield, and he doesn’t know what to make of all these other situations.

On that note … it’s a good thing he hasn’t met the Harkers. He’d make a beeline for Jonathan right now. That wouldn’t be a case of his brain asking, “insane?” It would be stating loud and clear, “INSANE.”

“… and laughed and cried together, just as a woman does. I tried to be stern with him, as one is to a woman under the circumstances; but it had no effect. Men and women are so different in manifestations of nervous strength or weakness!”

Jack, you are just so full of it. But it’s an interesting segment as Jack tries to “do the math” here. His believing in “classifying” people thwarts him. ‘Women do that, not men. Respond as you would to a woman. No effect… It’s because men and women are different, soooo … insane?’ The thing is, if you try to put everything in the world in their neat little boxes with no overlap, particularly people, most of it is going to come out “insane” or “abnormal”.

And Van Helsing, so patiently trying to explain to him that it’s mostly just a release of tension and bottled up emotion. He’s venting.

Yet despite all of Jack’s shortcomings, Van Helsing trusts him enough to “drop the act.”

Van Helsing knows that Jack doesn’t really think outside the box. I wonder if he has any idea just how narrow Seward’s views of the world are.

We know so little of Van Helsing’s backstory, yet he dropped a couple hints today. His son died—at what age, we don’t know, but certainly younger than Arthur. Most likely a child, and he would have looked like Art if he had lived. As for Van Helsing’s wife…

“… with my poor wife dead to me, but alive by Church’s law, though no wits, all gone…”

Could be dementia, Alzheimer’s, brain damage, coma …. a lot of things. Alive in body. But not the spirit he knew and loved.

… and that leads me back, once again, to the Harkers, and Mina’s worry at Jonathan’s relapse and then the way he seemed to forget about it all twenty minutes later.

She’s not breaking a promise by cracking the seal on the journal; she just hoped it would never have to come to that point. Alas, it has come. She needs info, and can decide what to do from there; how best to help, if help is even possible.

[the-goya-jerker]

What are your favorite movies? Any recommendations?

ALWAYS.

I love film. I love TV shows. I love to watch things.

I'll try to group these up. But they're below a cut because this will get long.

Oh, also, I recommend checking out the Does the Dog Die and/or Unconsenting Media page for movies on here. These check for common triggers for the first, and specific sexual content in the second. Both are quite thorough, and Unconsenting Media always needs more contributers.

Please, if you have triggers of any kind, curate your experiences, advocate for yourself. These sites can really help you.

If you like straight up horror:

The VVitch is an absolute favorite, I'm an absolute sucker for historical accuracy.

The Sudbury Devil is of a similar vein. It's weird! Don't get me wrong! The quality isn't the best, but I did like it!

St. Maud is another one, very religious and very creative.

I like the original Wickerman, but I don't really see it as horror... That guy was a dick and a cop.

The Wind is fun, I didn't like the ending much, but I'm really into atmospheric horror. There's a fun game based on it. (Even if I find the creator's other works a little... suspicious, ideologically.)

Bride of Reanimator has a special place in my heart.

V/H/S '94 is a recent watch of mine. Not every piece in it is good, and the framing device is weak, but I liked it for what it was nevertheless. Big youtube short films/ARG vibes.

Go watch Portrait of God on youtube. It's scary, eerie, and it made my stomach churn a bit.

Crimson Peak is also very very good. Very gothic, but I'm grouping it here for how violence is presented.

If you like things with horror elements that are more gothic than straight up horror:

Interview with the Vampire is a big favorite of mine. I love the books, the show, and especially the movie.

Donnie Darko is fun, very philosophical, a little weird, but I've loved it since I was young.

Ex Machina is interesting to me, I find it enjoyable, even though I have criticisms of how it handles some things.

The Tragedy of Macbeth is lovely. It captures the feeling of a stage play while also using the unique capabilities of film to propel itself into something uniquely good.

The Green Knight on the other hand is not a faithful adaptation. But it has something new to say and do, and I love what it does.

Poor Things deserves every big of hype it gets. If you haven't seen it, it's Frankenstein but with delightfully surreal worldbuilding. The world feels like a painting. Also it's very good as a feminist piece, in my opinion. If a bit singular.

The Love Witch is beautiful, and fascinating to me. I have a special fascination with wicca and neo-pagan movements though, as well as witchcraft and folk-magic.

For things entirely unrelated to horror:

Hedwig and the Angry Inch restructured my brain.

Technically HBO's Angels in America is a mini-series. Watch it like a movie if you can though. I watched it that way for a film class and it's closer to the original play that way.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is a very fun spy romp. Listen, just watch it and turn off your brain.

The John Wick movies, while "basic" are a beautiful ballet of violence and action. I do like the mythological elements as well.

The Harder They Fall fucks severely. It's a western centered on an entirely black main cast.

Mama Mia, need I say more.

I do not consider Renfield horror, but god if it isn't fun.

Dungeons and Dragons, sometimes you need a good, well made, movie that's kinda a little stupid.

Barbie Princess and the Pauper isn't good, but I like it.

Spider-verse. Like the whole series. I have a special attachment to these. They're utterly beautiful.

Cats. Is it good? NO!! But you should watch it anyway. Let the awful CGI melt into your brain, let it consume you and just watch. (Someone wants me to say you should watch the movie of the stage production instead)

Watch The Invitation. Go in blind. I'm begging you. Just give it a shot. Don't look up anything.

[my-little-wraithlings]

Good god, as a fanfic author that writes primarily whump and hurt/comfort (both emotional and physical), watching Renfield had me fucking quivering with need! My whole fanfic career is about making convoluted reasons for critters (characters) being in pain and being cared for. But good lord, I don't even need to work! This movie practically hand-feeds situations to you!

Anyway, my brain keeps rattling around with little fic ideas. A few quick fic ideas below.

Note: All the scenarios below can, in this state of being, be read platonically or romantically depending on your particular views. Personally, I don't ship Dracula and Renfield around the time of the movie but I honestly felt they've always had a romantic pull more towards the beginning of their relationship. Still super toxic/concerning but believable.

1 ) Robert is struggling to adjust to human life, mainly in the small ways. Now that he has his freedom for sure, he's trying to discover what to do with his time. He's not the brightest and each decade he's only had limited in any given culture so he's not really sure what activities/jobs are open to him. His therapy friends and Rebecca have helped him start over but he's still finding adjustment difficult. Because of the murdered cops, he's unable to get back to his apartment currently until the complex can be cleaned up and cleared for people to go back home. Meanwhile, he's living with Rebecca. The problem is that she is an incredibly strong presence and Robert is living in her "territory". It doesn't take long for Rebecca and Mark to recognize that Robert is starting to imprint on Rebecca as his new master. A reality they have to quickly work to reverse.

2 ) The setting is the past, shortly after Renfield has fallen to Dracula's alluring words. Things happen and they have to leave Dracula's current lair. On their travels, Renfield is injured during the day while he is moving Dracula's coffin. Renfield is still getting used to his new powers, the call of insects do not yet catch his cravings like they will in the future. As the sun sinks, Renfield feels himself starting to fade to wounds that were worse than he realized. Dracula is awakened and finds his familiar in a bad state. The vampire is struck by an unfamiliar feeling of concern. He has grown attached to his new servant. The relationship is new and delicate. An affection that has not yet turned smothering and abusive fills Dracula. He teaches Renfield the rewards of being a loyal servant by healing his wounds for the first time.

3 ) Robert's time as a familiar has made him more than a little strange by human standards. It's things beyond the cravings to eat insects. His skin is pale, his heartbeat is slower than a human's, his body runs cooler than a normal human. He's still able to get sick but it hasn't been something that has come up since work for Dracula. Now that his supply of Dracula blood is limited to a few jugs (I'm taking liberties, shush), he refuses to take any unless he is fatally wounded. When he catches the flu from someone at therapy, it hits him hard. He has no vaccines and his body hasn't had to make antibodies in a very long time. When the fever hits, it hits him. Rebecca is busy trying to juggle her life, keeping secrets from her sister, and helping Robert get his place back. She is struck with guilt when she finally realizes Robert is sick. His fever bumped his body heat up to that of a normal human being and Rebecca hadn't noticed right away. Despite the very real fact that people from Robert's time don't handle flu well, he's still refusing to take the blood. Rebecca does her best to help and the two snuggle up since Robert can't remember what it's like to be comforted while sick. While holding him, Rebecca decides she'll have to feed him some blood when he loses consciousness if this fever doesn't break soon.

4 ) (In the past) Vampire appetites are fickle things. When in an isolated area and there's no food in the nearby seasonal village, choices have to be made. Renfield is the human nearby. Though slight changes have set in for him, he still has the power to provide a meal. He's skittish and frightened by the idea. He has seen his master eat, it makes the bugs squirm in his belly. But despite his hunger, Dracula is being strangely patient with him. Renfield knows it is his duty and agrees to let his master feed before Renfield can cower away and need to be forced. It's a horrific experience!! Renfield feels even colder than usual but is important. He is left alive. And his master's gratitude is paid forward. Renfield is allowed to curl close to his master while fighting off the quivering torment and dizziness of blood-loss. Renfield smiles while he recovers, because surely this privilege means he really is important to Master!

5 ) also, any fuckin' excuse for broken ribs and stab wounds.

--

Okay, those weren't short but whatever.

This movie also really leans itself to being extremely easy to crossover with lots of stuff. I wish I was still caught up with NCIS: New Orleans. that'd be perfect!

[pinkiepiebones]

Have you written any Renfield lately? Can you send him on a grocery run for me?

I wrote this one yesterday but yes

... *squints at you* ... I'm assuming you are looking for "groceries" as in meals for the Count, yes? Well I'm not in the best brain space at this moment so let's fucking goooooooooo

To the Bad Ending. The one where the sun set.

---

Being allowed outside was almost overwhelming.

Renfield had spent... well, he wasn't sure of the passage of time anymore, but it had to have been months, months locked in a deep underground bunker- it was a dungeon with some stylish 21st century feng shui to it, really- ever since D- ever since his Master had reclaimed him.

Today he would prove himself and hunt once more.

He was a hunting dog, after all.

The sunlight was nearly unbearable. Renfield sighed and fished the gaudy sunglasses a Lobo had tossed him out of his jacket pocket. His old suit was long gone, as was everything he had purchased during his brief flirtation with freedom, save for the few things he was allowed to pack the night he was taken back.

Master had some Lobos bring some modern clothes for Renfield. They brought him thrift store goods and laughed about it like it was some stupid prank. He felt Wrong in these jeans and boots and tank top and too-small button-up that hung on him like a tiny jacket, but at least he didn't stick out this way. At least he could slip in and out of crowds better.

Renfield breathed deep in the early spring air. It was nice to feel the breeze on his skin. It was not so nice to feel Master's presence, spider steps of searing heat in the back of his brain, a constant reminder of his place in the world. A leash, in a sense.

Renfield let himself wonder. He felt his decades of experience coming back to him. The gaudy sunglasses helped to better disguise his assessments of people. Was there anyone passable? If he chose poorly, would Master ever allow him outside again?

The familiar had been thinking and walking. His long legs had taken him to a house. He knew it well. He knew sunflowers and garlic bulbs were planted all around. He had spent many evenings and nights in that house, embraced and loved.

He crept to the large window. There was just enough of a gap in the curtains that he could see someone he knew inside, stretched out on the sofa. A cat curled up on the back of the sofa.

Renfield smiled softly and pressed a cold hand to the sun-warmed glass.

Then a stinging pain filled his skull, fire flooded his veins and his vision diluted to greys and reds.

I send you out for a simple errand and you run back here? It's like you're inventing new ways to get yourself tortured at this point, servant.

"N-no, Master, I was just in the neighbou- it- should 't you be resting?"

I was stirred by the feeling of your betrayal.

"I'm not- I didn't-"

Well, if you're as devout as you're trying to say

Renfield felt his body jerk and move towards the front door

why don't you bring this one to me

Renfield felt his hand picking up the flower pot with the false bottom where the spare key was hidden

Although,

Renfiled watched his hand turn the key in the lock

association with you is sure to have ruined the blood. Hmm. A pity, I was going to savour making you watch me drain that one. No, no. I'm thinking. Give me a moment, 'kay?

Renfield felt tears burning down his face.

A moment stretched on for eternity.

Then Renfield's body snapped like a rubber band and he stumbled backwards. His vision blossomed with colour.

You have half an hour to bring me three women. Optimistic, naive, you know what I like.

Renfield nodded and scrubbed at the tears on his face turned and ran from the house.

Of course he knew what Master liked.

He was a hunting dog, after all.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

what are your favorite loki ships besides valki?

I had been working on a similar post that I left on drafts, so:

Valki. I came out of the movie theater shipping them because of their fight scenes, and that they're very good foils to each other. They're antiheroes that had to do awful things to survive with a bunch of trauma. Why did the Russos have to kill my ship in such a fucked up way? D: I was DEVASTATED and have still not recovered! I'm so fucking salty over this! I've never been so salty about a ship since Zutara not being cannon!

Frostshield (I feel like this is surprising knowing me and the fact that I've only watched the first CA movie. I love Lise's "Remember This Cold" fic series; it's so good I started shipping this). Probably one of my favorite Avengers to ship Loki with. I think they both know what it's like to be perceived as weak and feel alone, but they're so different at the same time.

Nebuloki. They have so much in common! Even Karen Gillan said she would pair her character with Loki. They might have met in Sanctuary.

Frostmaster. This ship is very good for Loki whump material and I love to put Loki through the wringer (Lise's dark fics, anyone?). The GM has God-like abilities and is a convenient obstacle/torturer for that reason. And the aspect of having to pretend to enjoy torture and all the mind games is good shit.

Frosthawk. It has Dracula/Renfield vibes. Fucked up and angsty. And I will find it funny when the thrall is like "Bitch, go to sleep. Eat something!" to his master who sucks at taking care of himself. I don't really care for Clint, but this ship is good for angst and fucked up mind control dynamics, and the occassional take where the thrall is like "Bitch, have you eaten?" to his distressed Master that sucks at taking care of himself. Reminds me of that post where someone was like "Loki forced his thralls unknowingly into caring for him rather than pure obedience."

Funnily enough I've only written Lokius and Sylki so far Out of spite because there were too many domestic fluffy human AUs for those.

[cleoluvrr]

The Last Days of Summer XIV (Rafe Cameron x Heyward!OC)

Warnings: violence, underage drinking, drug use, verbal abuse, jealousy, forbidden relationship, enemies to lovers, gaslighting + manipulation

Synopsis: Stuck in a situation she never dreamed of, Neriah Heyward blurs the line between Kook and Pogue; Rafe Cameron a witness.

masterlist

word count: 7.2k+

↠━ღ◆ღ━↞

“What do you mean, Sarah’s not here?” Topper says to Rafe. “I talked to her earlier. Supposed to meet her here. Supposed to pick her up.” He slowly approaches the other blonde who is now sitting down in one of the patio chairs on the side of the house.

“How would I know where my sister is, huh?” The older boy replies annoyedly. He pauses, leaning forward in the chair as he speaks to his friend. “And one thing you should know, Top, is…is I got nothing against you, even though you totally punked me that other night.”

Rafe had gotten home a while ago, I heard him pull into the driveway with the Renfield man and the off-putting blonde woman, who I now know as Ms. Limbrey. I heard him enter the house but didn’t see him, choosing to hide away with Wheezie in her room. He called my name a few times and I’m positive he checked his bedroom, only to find me not there. He banged on Wheezie’s door as well, asking if she had seen me.

She told him that I was sleeping in her room and shooed him away, which I couldn’t have been more grateful for.

I was still upset about last night, the way he spoke to me and dragged me around in front of strangers sitting heavy in the back of my head. Sure, maybe I was being difficult, but I had the room to be after being locked away in a room for hours while he spent more time with random people than me.

He returned outside with Renfield eventually and had been there ever since, leaving the Limbrey woman in the Island Room on her own. I, after much contemplation, decided to leave the security of Wheezie’s room and make myself home on the balcony.

Perched right above the patio, I had a perfect view of both the water and the three men below me on the concrete gathering spot.

I had been eavesdropping on the two, listening to them go on about some mysterious cross that the woman had been searching for, desperate for the magic cloth it came with. That was the reason for their sudden appearance last night, I assumed.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sight of a familiar gray Jeep pulling up into the Cameron’s driveway.

As soon as Topper hopped out of his car, I noticed a strange tension between the two blondes. They had always been good friends, but Topper was cautious in his steps as he approached the house, Rafe’s standoffish demeanor strong enough for me to read from up here.

They were keeping their distance from each other, which seemed strange to me.

“Really? Uh…” Topper says as he stares down at his friend incredulously. “Were…were you too coked-out to remember the fact that you were drowning your sister?” Rafe rises from his seat stand face to face with the younger guy at his accusation.

“What the fuck?” I thought to myself, leaning over the balcony to watch the interaction more closely.

What does he mean by drowning his sister?

“Drowning? I wasn’t– No. I wasn’t drowning her.” He walks closer to Topper as he speaks, voice dripping in denial. “I was provoked, all right?”

I can’t tell if he’s telling the truth or if he’s trying to convince himself of that.

Would he actually go that far? There’s nothing Sarah could have possibly done to provoke that response, if what Topper claims even really happened.

Topper says something that I can’t understand from this distance, slowly backing away and turning back to his car as he’s approached by the other light-haired boy.

“You think…you think I want her with John B? Huh?” Rafe continues, now speaking at Topper’s back as he stands frozen in his tracks. He turns back around tiredly and faces Rafe once again, tossing his arms by his side weakly. “Is that what you really think?”

“Is that where she is? Is she with John B?” Topper asks in a defeated tone. I guess I moved or made a sound because his eyes fly up to me standing on the balcony, capturing my gaze as I watched the two of them. 

“Where the hell else would she be? Huh? Unless she found some other sucker.”

Topper shakes his head at Rafe’s words, dropping his eyes from me and retreating to his car once again. I back away from the balcony’s edge, not wanting to be found out again.

“I can just track her. I completely forgot.” Topper says as he waves his phone in the air. “I can track her phone.”

“Are you spying on her?” Rafe follows him to his car, head tilted as the words leave his mouth. I can’t see his face from here, but he sounds just as weird out as I feel.

“I’m not spying on her. Rafe I just care about her. I want to make sure she’s safe.” Topper says to defend his very questionable behavior.

I didn’t think Topper’s obsession with Sarah could get any worse until I heard him admit to stalking her. He didn’t say it outright, but we all knew that’s what it was. She and Topper hadn’t been together since Midsummers, and I knew for a fact that she would never be okay with something like that.

My body shivers at the thought of Rafe doing something like that to me.

I watch as Rafe snatches the phone out of the boy’s hand, stiff arming him as Topper tries to grab it back. I can’t hear what they say from here, their voices too low for my ears to pick up. What I can see is the side of Rafe’s face from this angle, his expression perking up as if he’s just realized something by looking at the glowing screen in his hand. 

He tosses the device back to him, pivoting back towards the house with a quickness.

“Rafe!” Topper calls out behind him. Rafe pauses for a moment.

“Go home. Trust me.” He says facing Topper once again. “You do not want to be near her right now.” And with that, he speeds back into the manor with Renfield hot on his tail.

Topper looks up at the balcony again expecting to spot me again. I can partially see him from where I stand, but am out of his view from the patio. He shakes his head, turning to get into his car and leave. 

I stay on the balcony for a while, listening to Rafe, Limbrey, and Renfield converse on the floor below me. I can hear their voices from here but I can’t make out what they’re saying, words sounding muffled through the thick walls of the house. It goes silent suddenly, the voices now gone. I watch as Renfield exits the house with Limbrey, the two of them getting into an older car that I assume they came in.

I wait for Rafe to exit as well so I can go back inside, but he never comes. 

“There you are.” A voice says behind me as I lean over the railing of the balcony.

I nearly jump out of my skin, covering my mouth in shock as I whip around to face the person before me. Rafe stands in the doorway, watching me with an amused look on his face. He walks closer to me to close the large gap between us. I lower my hand from my face and he grabs it, raising it to his own to press his lips against my knuckles.

“I’ve been looking for you.” He tells me what I already know and I nod in response. “Wheezie said you were asleep in her room.”

“I know. I was hiding.” His head recoils, expression turning into one of confusion.

I knew he wouldn’t like that, and maybe I shouldn’t have even said it, but I didn’t care.

Rafe hates when I ignore him, even more so when it’s on purpose.

“Hiding from what? From me?” I don’t give him a verbal answer, choosing instead to look at him blankly as he awaits one. He scoffs, dropping my hand and letting it fall to my side. “Are you still mad about last night?”

“Do I look mad about last night?” I say. I cross my arms and push past him into the house, not allowing him a chance to give me an answer.

I hear him following behind me, voice calling my name as I walk through the expansive halls of the barely familiar residence. He grabs my shoulder before I can start to descend the staircase, forcing my body to spin around and face him. He looks mildly annoyed and quite upset, the expression almost making me start to regret giving him the silent treatment.

“Don’t do that.” His grip on my shoulder is tight, fingers digging to the flesh, but I give no reaction.

“Don’t do what?” 

“Ignore me. You know I hate that shit.” I shrug, face remaining stoic for the most part as he speaks to me.

“I’m not ignoring you-”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Neriah.” He snaps, the hand resting on my shoulder releasing me with a shove. “You’re walking around here with a stick up your ass for no reason. If anything I should be the one upset, not you. You embarrassed me in front of guests, that’s not okay.”

Any regrets I had were now gone the moment he spoke those words, swollen heart shrinking in anger.

I rolled my eyes at him, which only made him more visibly upset. I could see his teeth grinding together as he held himself back from saying something I’m sure he might regret later.

“You didn’t even know those people twenty-four hours ago, Rafe. Who gives a fuck what they think?” I snap back, voice raising slightly. “Of course I’m irritated, of course I’m ‘ignoring you.’ You treated me like some bitch off the street last night, and you just expect me to be okay with that.”

“I didn’t treat you like anything-”

“What exactly do you call dragging me around, talking down to me like I’m some insolent child, and then confining me to a room for the rest of the night?” I remind him exactly what he did to end up in this situation. 

“Well that’s exactly how you were acting, so maybe you should think about that the next time you decide to disrespect me.” Rafe says. My jaw drops, my brain taking a moment to process his words. “I was busy. I expected you to understand that, and go into the room like I asked you to. Twice, actually. But no…you just have to have your way.”

I laugh in his face, the action dry and humorless to convey my disbelief. I look around the hallway as if there were other people there witnessing the conversation before my eyes land back on him.

“Disrespect you?” I repeat, laughter dying down finally. “If anything I was the one disrespected. You disrespected my time, dragging me out of my house in the middle of the night to bring me to the other side of town so I could help you watch Wheezie. Rose wasn’t even out of town, so you lied to me. Which is another form of disrespect.”

“You willingly came to my house, don’t forget. And I didn’t lie to you, I said she was gone, not out of town.” He says as if it makes a difference.

“It’s the same fucking thing, Rafe!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me.” His voice is low, silently seething as I continue to tell him off. I scoff and turn away from him, starting my journey down the stairs.

“Okay, I won’t yell at you.” I tell him as my feet stomp against each step. I hear the horn blowing outside, the two older strangers reminding us of their presence. “Your friends are waiting. I wouldn’t want to hold you up.”

Rafe ignores the beeping, hot on my tail as he follows me to his room at the end of the hall. He enters the space with me and I turn to face him again. The blonde looks like he’s stopping himself from saying the same choice words that made me upset with him in the first place, lips sealed together firmly as he plants his eyes on me.

The horn blares in the front yard once again which breaks our staring contest.

Rafe huffs, tongue poking into the side of cheek. He begins to pace through the room, walking back and forth from the open door to the wall and back again with long, quick strides. He stops suddenly in front of me, hand curled into a first as he hits it against his forehead with gritted teeth.

“What’s your problem now? Hitting yourself isn’t gonna make me feel bad this time.” I fold my arms over each other once again, sick of his dramatics and ready to call Brye to come pick me up.

“Shut up!” He snaps, hands raking through his hair as he halts the assault on his forehead. His hands drop from the blonde locks, a pointer finger raising itself inches away from my face. He wags it at me angrily, his teeth gnawing aggressively at his lip before he drops his hand again.

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes as he inhales and exhales heavily. I watch him unamused, fingers digging in the pocket of my shorts to grab my phone. 

“Are you done?” I say, scrolling through my list of contacts. I feel the heat of his eyes on me as he watches me click on Brye’s contact.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m calling Brye to come pick me up and take me home because, clearly, you have lost your mind if you think I’m gonna let you talk to me like this.” He scoffs at me, angered once more at my words.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting you leave.” Rafe shakes his head at me. I raise my eyebrows at him, finger hitting the call button on my friend’s contact and raising it to my ear.

Why the hell would I stay here and be treated like this? He is clearly unable to show the basic respect of speaking to me like an adult, so why wouldn’t I go home before things got too far?

“Oh, am I?” Before the sentence has settled in the air, my hand is relieved of my phone. Rafe holds it in his hand, hanging up the call and shoving the device deep into his pocket. “Rafe! What the fuck? Give me my phone!”

“Now, why would I do that?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. “Obviously you aren’t going to make smart decisions with it.”

“Rafe, give me my fucking phone. I’m not asking.” 

“You see, that’s…that’s your problem.” Rafe laughs dryly, shaking his head at me as he stands in the doorway.

“I don’t even care anymore. Just give it.”

“You don’t make smart decisions, the right decisions. Disrespecting me in front of guests? Dumb decision. Thinking you're gonna leave in the middle of me…In the middle of me trying to have a productive conversion with you? Not smart. Hanging around those Pogues after I told you to stop doing that? Really fucking stupid.”

“What-” I’m cut off by Rafe’s voice.

“I tried to let you have autonomy, but clearly you don’t deserve it.” He says.

Is he being serious right now? It seems like he is, his face doesn’t show any hints of humor as he speaks. The sight concerns me, but not as much as his words.

“Who are you to tell me I can’t have autonomy, Rafe? I make my own decisions, I’m an adult. You don’t control me.” I scratch at my head, completely perplexed by his sudden change in demeanor. His calmness worries me. “Your input doesn’t really matter at the end of the day.”

“At the end of the day…at the end of the day.” He chuckles as he repeats my words to himself, scratching the side of his head.

My foot taps on the ground impatiently, completely over the interaction. The blonde pauses for a moment, a smug, sneer-like smile straying across his features.

The expression made me wary, my own facd scrunching up in distaste.

“At the end of the day, this is my house, and you’re my girlfriend. You do what I tell you to do, I don’t care if you don’t like it. That’s not my problem.” The car beeps again, the loud sound permeating through the air of the house.

Rafe throws his head back at the persistence of whoever is blaring the horn, visibly annoyed by the action. He walks past me to the nightstand by the head of the bed and grabs his keys, feet quick as he exits the room and closes the door behind him.

My head jerks back in confusion. Why’d he leave in the middle of a conversation that he was so adamant on having?

My ears perk up when the lock clicks.

I take long strides towards the door when I hear the sound, hand flying to the knob. I twist it, pull, and shake the handle but am met with resistance, the metal sphere completely immobile. I keep trying and get no results for the second, third, and fourth time I try.

I see Rafe’s shadow under the door, my boyfriend standing on the other side of the wood watching as I fight against the handle.

“Rafe, what the hell? Did you lock me in here?” I receive no response. I bang my hand against the door, first with my palm, then with my fist. “Rafe, let me out. Now.”

“I…I can’t do that. I can’t do that.” He says. 

“What do you mean you can’t do that? Unlock the fucking door!”

“No. No. I can’t let you leave, not right now.” I hear his feet slowly backing away from the door, shadow shrinking as he distances himself. “You need to calm down and think, so I’m gonna let you do that. Alone, since you wanna be that so bad.”

His footsteps stop somewhere around the end of the hall I assume, right before the staircase. I bang at the door with my fist again, and switch to using my foot to kick at the hard wood. He doesn’t make any movement which only prompts me to hit harder.

“Rafe, let me out right fucking now!” I yell through the barrier in between my banging. “I will climb out the window and I am so serious!”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He chuckles out and I can just see the smug look on his face as he says it. “We’ll talk when I get back.”

With that he descended the stairs, shoes hard against the wooden slabs as he landed on each one.

I stop banging, mouth agape as I stare at the door in shock. I don't know how to pick a lock, I don’t have my phone, and I can’t climb out of the window without falling two floors to the concrete below. I hear the engine of the car outside turn over and run to the window at the sound, watching as they pull out of the front gate.

Sitting on the bed with my jaw still brushing the floor, my mind races with thoughts. The main one being; has he lost his mind?

Of course I knew that he had a temper. I knew he had a problem with people talking back to him, that he didn’t like to be questioned by anyone, that he hated being ignored. I especially knew that he hated when he wasn’t in control. I knew that I wasn’t going to get away with doing all of those things in the span of twenty-four hours, but I didn’t care. I needed him to understand my grievances.

Never did I think he’d steal my phone and lock me away in his room for it.

My body perked up at the sound of footsteps in the hall. They were quiet, but my ears were hyper aware.

“Wheezie!” I yelled, practically flinging my body at the door. “Wheezie is that you? It’s Neriah. Hello?” I knocked on my side of the door rapidly,hand twisting violently at the knob.

I hear hesitant footsteps approaching the door and sigh in relief when she responds.

“Yeah, it’s me.” She says, her shadow peeking under the door. 

“Oh thank God.” I rest my forehead against the cool wood, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. “I’ve never been so happy to hear you in my life.”

“Are you okay?”

“Rafe locked me in here and he took my phone.” I wiggle the door knob again to add emphasis to my words. “Can you let me out, please? I don’t know what his problem is.”

She doesn’t say anything and silence fills the air. I wait, and wait, and wait for a response but receive nothing, watching her still shadow beneath the door as she stands on the other side. I knock again.

“Wheezie? Did you hear me?” I say between knocks. “Can you please unlock the door?”

“Um…” The girl trails off, taking a long pause between her words. “Rafe said not to let you out.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, not sure if I was hearing correctly. Blinking slowly, I watch as her shadow begins to get smaller, indicating that she’s moving away from the door.

“What? Wheezie, let me out.” Her footsteps continue to retreat back down the hall. “Wheezie…Wheezie!” I called out, banging at the door frantically once again.

“I’m sorry! Please, don’t be mad at me.” Is all she says before she leaves me completely.

I continue to bang on the door and call her name even though I know I won’t receive a response. I curse loudly, kicking the door in anger.

An idea pops into my head, body moving me to one of the windows on autopilot.

I lift the blinds halfway, fingers gripping the bottom of the window sill tightly as I pull up with all my strength. Just like with the door, all my efforts are fruitless. Upon further investigation, I discovered that the window had been painted shut.

I run around the room to check each one only for them to have the same fate.

“Fuck!” I yelled into the lifeless house. My hand ran through my braids, stressed as I thought about any successful escape plans. I feel the fate orange glow of the evening sun on my skin, the star giving me an oddly comforting warmth.

I was stuck here, unless I found a way to pick the lock. I didn’t have anything to research exactly how to do that, so that plan was foiled before it could go into effect. I can’t open the windows, I’m too big to fit through the vents, and Wheezie won’t let me out under instructions from her brother.

Letting out another loud curse word, I sigh heavily in frustration as I drag my feet to the door to begin my banging again.

I could feel my vocal cords straining from the rage filled screams I let out for what seems like forever, my voice echoing against the walls of Tannyhill. I cry out, scream, and swear as loudly as I can in hopes that maybe someone in the neighborhood will hear me and come investigate. The longer I go on, the more I doubt anyone will notice my voice from this deed inside the residence.

My face is covered in dried tears by the time I give up, throat raw from the endless torture I put it through with my howling. The sun had set and the moon had risen, the giant rock switching places with the yellow ball of fire high in the sky. My hands were stinging from the punishment they received from the hard wood of the door, knuckles raw and red from the incessant knocking.

I felt defeated, more than I did when I started.

Sliding down the wall next to the door I sit on the floor tiredly, energy drained from my pleas and demands to be released from Rafe’s bedroom being ignored. My head lazily lolls to the side to check the clock on the nightstand. 

9:17 PM. I’d been locked in here for over three hours.

I hadn’t spoken to my parents all day, the last contact we had was a note I left on the table in my rush to get here yesterday. They were probably worried, not enough to send a search party, but worried enough. If I got lucky, maybe Sarah would show up with my brother again and break me out of here. I don’t even know what I’d do when I inevitably see Rafe.

Rafe. The name weighs heavily in the front of my head as it comes to mind.

I was going to rip his head off when he let me out of here. The audacity of him to take away my only line to the outside world and then lock me away like some animal. The blatantly misogynistic language he spouted at me was enough to make me want to sharpen my teeth with a file and treat him the way a caged animal would.

At the sound of a vehicle pulling up outside of the house, my attention is pulled away from the clock. I push myself off the floor and walk to the window, the headlights shining through the open blinds. Rafe jumps out of a large truck with a big wooden storage container on the back half. Nobody follows him out, and the car he left in is nowhere to be found.

Where’d that lady and her lackey go? I thought to myself as I watched him lock the truck and disappear into the front door of the house.

I stay by the window, staring outside into the darkness of the front yard. I wrap my arms around myself, shifting my feet from one to the other. Rafe calls my name repeatedly as he pounds up the stairs and I ignore him, eyes glued to the street on the other side of the glass.

I say nothing when he unlocks the door, bursting into the room expecting me to be at his neck immediately. When I don’t even flinch, he calls my name again.

“Neriah?” He says. I swallow thickly at the sound, refusing to give him the satisfaction of my acknowledgement. “Are you okay? Can you hear me?”

I wait for him to get close enough before I make my move. When he touches my arm I spin around to strike him in his dominant leg, the blonde shrinking down to clasp his leg in pain. I kick behind his knee to further immobilize him. I ran past Rafe, who had fallen to the floor and was in too shock much to move, and into the hallway as fast as I could.

As I made my way down the stairs I could hear him recover quickly, feet pounding on the floor in the distance as he chased after me. I made it most of the way down before I realized he still had my phone with him. I jumped off the last three stairs, stumbling over my own feet. 

My clumsiness cost me a great deal.

Rafe’s strong arms wrapped around my body, leaning back to lift me off the ground. I screamed, dropping myself down in the same way when he tried to stuff me into the car a few weeks ago. I stomped on his foot and bit into the bare skin of his arm as hard as I could, desperate to get out of his hold. He howled in pain, arms loosening for a second as he gathered himself.

I took the chance to break out, taking down the hall again with him hot on my tail.

“Leave me alone!” I yell breathlessly.

My heart pounds in my chest when I’m suddenly met with a door at a dead end. I wiggle the door knob and almost cry in relief when it’s unlocked. I push it in and slam it behind me immediately, pressing my back against the door after locking it.

Rafe’s footsteps are close, hand banging on the door once he reaches it. I can hear each abrasive knock vibrating against my back, the sound making my heart jump into my throat. I swallow down a frightened whimper and step away from the door.

The room is small, it seemed like an unused supply closet from what I can see with what little light peeks under the door.

“Open the door!” Rafe shouts from the other side. He pounds, and pounds, and pounds against the door relentlessly, never tiring.

He goes at it for a full five minutes before I’m met with silence abruptly. I listen as his footsteps retreat down the hallway until they’re gone completely. 

I released a breath I didn’t even know I was holding and approached the door hesitantly, pressing my ear against it to make sure I was really alone. I gnawed at my bottom lip, counting to thirty before backing away against the wall behind me.

I shake out my hands anxiously, an attempt at stopping my anxious shivering. Sliding down the wall, I wrap my hands around my knees tightly. I waited and waited for Rafe to come back, unsure if it was safer out there or in here the longer he was gone. My breath had finally steadied, mind racing with the many possibilities for the rest of the night. 

I’d have to leave the closet at some point, right? If I stayed locked in here, I’d be just as much prisoner as I was in his room.

About twenty minutes went before I heard someone walking towards my hiding spot. I jumped to my feet panickedly, tucking myself tightly into the corner as my heart picked up again. They stopped in front of the door and just stood there for a moment, their shadow peeking from under the crack in the door. 

“Neriah?” A feminine voice called out, knocking gently on the door.

Rose?

“Neriah, sweetie, are you okay?” She knocks again, wiggling the door handle at the same time. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes, I can hear you.” I finally respond after a few beats of silence. I swallowed thickly, my throat still raw from screaming for hours. “I’m okay…”

“Can you open the door for me?”

“Um…” I eye the door cautiously. My fingers ball up into fists, nails digging into my palm to calm my nerves.

“Rafe is gone, honey. He left.” She says. I can hear her lean against the door. “You can come out now, Wheezie told me what happened.”

I gulped again, the sound loud in my ears. Hesitantly my hand reached for the lock, clicking it open slowly. I gripped the handle tightly and pushed open the door with great wariness. I squinted at the well lit hallway, my eyes not not used to it after being in the dark so long.

“Oh my goodness…” She trails off, looking over my shivering body in sympathy. She hesitantly reaches for me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders when I don’t recoil from her touch. “You must be so scared.”

I say nothing, too tired and voice too painful to use. We walk back into the main area of the house, Rose leaving me to sit on the couch in the living room. My head was on a swivel the entire time I was left alone, worried that Rafe would return at any time.

It would be smart for me to leave while I could, to find sanctuary at Brye’s house down the street until morning.

Standing up out of the plush cushions of the couch, I start towards the front door. I barely make it a yard before Rose is calling my name, grabbing my arm to stop me and pull me back to the couch.

“Where are you going?” She asks worriedly, face wearing an expression of concern. She sits a tray of tea down on the small, class coffee table in front of the chair before standing up to her full height again.

“I…I think I should go.” I rasp out painfully. “I need to go.” She frowns at the sound of my voice, sympathy joining the concern on her features.

“It’s not safe out there this late at night.” She says. She shakes her head, eyes moving to a window that showcases the dark, fall night outside before they land back on me. “I can’t let you walk home. I’ll drive you, okay?” I nod my head, licking my slightly chapped lips.

“My…My phone.” The words feel like gravel in my mouth. “Rafe has my phone.”

“Oh, honey you sound terrible.” Rose comments on the state of my voice. She ignores my phone comment and I blink at her, not sure how to respond. “Wheezie told me you were screaming for hours. I’m so sorry. Sit down, I’ll pour you some tea.”

“I need to go…” My voice breaks mid sentence. It makes me regret wasting it on screaming nonsensically for hours.

She shakes her head at me again, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder to guide me back down on the couch behind me. The blonde takes a seat next to me and leans forward to pull the tea set closer to the edge of the table, grabbing a decorative cup for me to drink out of. She tilts the pot over the cup, allowing the warm beverage to rise a little more than half way before setting it back in its place.

“Here you go.” She says, carefully picking up the cup and handing it to me. She smiles sweetly as I take it out of her hands. “Maybe it’ll help with the soreness.”

“Thank you.” I say quietly, awkwardly returning her smile.

I slowly raise the cup to my mouth and my eyes to the ground as I allow the liquid to fill my mouth. It’s warm and sweet, relief instantly filling my body as the tea travels down my worn throat. I take another small sip, welcoming the taste gratefully.

“Y’know…” The older woman starts, pulling my attention away from the floor. “Ever since you’ve been with Rafe, he’s been doing so much better.”

I swallow strongly, uncomfortable with the mention of his name so suddenly.

“He stopped being so…so aggressive. He started being so much more responsible, he’s been doing less drugs. He’s really been improving in the time that you two have been together.” She says. Her eyes are glued to me, the heat of her gaze causing a shiver to go up my spine. “I really can’t thank you enough. I know Ward would have loved to see him doing this good.”

“Yeah…” I take a longer sip of the beverage this time before lowering the cup to my lap. I furrow my eyebrows together, eyes dropping to the tea in my hands.

The aftertaste the liquid left in my mouth was different this time. I couldn’t quite pin it, it wasn’t bitter but it wasn’t very pleasant either. I silently smack my lips together, a dry, chalky feeling all over my teeth and tongue left behind by the drink. I place the cup back on the table, no longer wanting to consume it.

“Which is why I’m really sorry.” 

My brows knit together in confusion, not able to understand what she’s saying. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a bottle of pills, showing me the label. I look at her for a moment  before my eyes drop to the bottle in her hand.

“What is that? What are you talking about?” The tea barely helped, my voice still unbearable to use. 

“It’s Ativan, Neriah.” Her eyes fall to the tea on the table before they land at me again with a glint of guilt in them. My eyes follow hers to the tray, stuck firmly on the cup that was just in contact with my lips.

“Why do you have Ativan in your pocket?”

My eyes stay trained on the half drunk cup of tea sitting in front me, refusing to look away. I feel her gaze on the side of my face as she fidgets with the bottle, the pills loudly rattling inside. Rose stands up suddenly, grabbing the tray she used to bring the tea in and briskly walking away.

I jump up with her, swaying on my feet slightly. I squeezed my eyes shut, blinking away the stinging, dry feeling from not closing for too long. I follow her to the kitchen, my brain feeling heavy inside my skull as I think hard about how I’m going to get out of here. Leaning against the island, I watch as she leans against the kitchen sink and takes deep, soothing breaths. Her back rises and falls with each inhale and exhale.

“Why are you sorry, Rose?” She doesn’t answer me, but her breathing pauses for a few moments at my question. “Did you put that in my drink?” My tone is accusatory and sharp even with the gravelyness of my voice.

“I can’t…we can’t go back to the old Rafe, Neriah. We just can’t.” The blonde woman says, finally turning around to face me. She looks like she’s been stricken with an immense amount of guilt at what she’s done, but doesn’t look even a little regretful. “It has to be different where we're going.”

My head is spinning just slightly, limbs feeling heavier than normal. I clear my throat, the feeling of the friction making me wince in pain.

“Rose, can you just take me home?” It sounds like a plea, and it might as well be. “I’m tired and my parents are probably worried about me.” She sighs heavily as if there’s something weighing her down.

“I know, sweetie.” Her words sound slow in my ears. It takes me a moment to process the three short words, unable to completely focus.

“What do you mean, you know?” I force the words out of my mouth, wetting my dry lips with my tongue.

I was already tired before, but my eyes feel like they weigh a thousand pounds now. My limbs are weighed down just the same and I fight the urge to sit down on the stool next to me, knowing that it’ll only encourage my body to let itself rest. My heartbeat is slow despite the anxiety I feel which only worries me more.

I step backwards, shaking my head at Rose as I distance myself from her. I drag my feet to the front door, ready to walk myself home after the strange and unsettling interaction.

Before I make it too far, a familiar warmth wraps itself around me. I don’t have the energy to fight back with the same force as usual, my arms weakly pushing against the hold I’ve been trapped in.

“Where do you think you’re going, princess?” Rafe speaks into my ear. I can barely hear it, the words sounding jumbled and faded. “You should be sleeping right now.”

“Let me go, Rafe.” I say groggily. “I wanna go home.” My voice is even weaker, each word cracking as they exit my mouth. He chuckles at me, the sound vibrating against my back.

“We have somewhere to be in the morning.” He sways us back and forth, the movement only making it harder to keep my eyes open. I close them hard, a fruitless attempt at blinking away the sleep I’m fighting against. “Our new home.”

“What…what are you talking about.” 

“You’ll see.” Is the only answer I get before I’m walked over to a chair nearby and sat down forcefully.

I watch Rafe walk upstairs and disappear for a few minutes. My body was so heavy, and I barely had the energy to keep my eyes from closing like they so badly wanted to. He eventually came back down with my bags in his hand, smiling at me happily as he descended the stairs. Walking past me, he pushes the front door open and exits the house.

I peak out the cracked door and watch as he places my things in the trunk of Rose’s car.

A series of footsteps and low voices nearby capture my attention. I spot Wheezie and Rose hauling a limp Sarah though the house, barely able to hold herself up on her own. She looks worse off than me, I was at least able to sit up and keep my eyes open at this point. A thought hits me as I see her walked past me by her sister and step-mother.

If Sarah’s here, the rest of them have to be nearby. There’s no way she would come here alone, let alone leave with her family willingly. 

I drag myself out of the chair with the last of the energy I have, pushing my body out of the cracked front door. I don’t see Rafe anywhere, the truck he came in is long gone, but I can see Rose and the young brunette forcing Sarah into the backseat of her car. 

I don’t want to think about if that will soo be my fate.

“Pope!” I scream as loud as I can. I can feel my throat disagreeing with me but I don’t care, willing to push myself to make sure someone hears my voice. “Pope! JJ! Hello? Are you there?”

“Neriah, what are you doing?” Rose says panickedly, looking around the yard before walking towards me with a quickness. “We need to go-”

“Neriah!” I heard JJ’s voice call out in the distance. It didn’t sound that far, but I couldn’t see him from where I stood. “Neriah, it’s JJ!”

“JJ, help! Please help!” I yell. It feels like my throat is being ripped to shreds the more I push it to be louder. “I don’t wanna go!”

“Neriah, stop.” Rose grabs my arm, pulling my wriggling body to the car with her. “You need to get in the car.”

“Get off me.” I demand. I weakly fight against her, the rush of adrenaline wearing off now. “JJ, help me! Help!” 

I’m shoved into the car forcefully, partially landing on Sarah’s body. She was breathing but limp, clearly whatever dose she was given had to have been much stronger than mine. However, it was becoming nearly impossible to keep my eyes open. I tried my hardest to not nod off as Rose pulled out of the driveway, leaving Tannyhill behind us with all of the lights still on.

I pulled at the door handle, willing to throw myself out of the moving car. It doesn’t budge which makes me realize she must have turned the child locks on. My head falls back against the seat in defeat, watching the large house get smaller and smaller. I felt a few stray tears falling down my face, but my limbs felt like stones, arms too heavy to wipe them away.

Suddenly there was banging at the windows.

“Slow the car!” John B yells at the thick glass, fist beating against the moving vehicle. “Sarah!” Wheezie screams in surprise, the sudden noise startling both her and Rose.

“Hey, Wheezie! Unlock the door!” JJ shouts at the passenger's side of the car. He sees my half-sleeping form in the backseat, anxiety filled eyes meeting my low, defeated ones.”Riah! Neriah, oh my God!”

They continue to yell and bang on the windows, the car filled with so many noises that I can no longer decipher from one another. My eyes flutter shut, my mind too drained to keep them open any longer. Everything fades into the background the longer they stay shut, my chest rising and falling steadily. Slowly I relax, body releasing all tension as my head lolls to the side and leans against the cool glass of the car window.

I join the ill fate of Sarah, unable to fight against the effects of the drugs I had been dosed with as I watch my home fly by through the tinted windows of Rose’s car.

[vickyvicarious]

3 October, part 2

I am already so worn out

oh I love the several individual flicks of paper. The frustration and rage and deliberateness of him moving one page at a time to get to the right spot

"As I must do something or go mad," I. I........

"The teaching, big or little, could not have landed Mina or me anywhere worse than we are to-day." I AM SO SAD

their voices together...

THE WAY HE ASKS WHAT END

oh my god his little sniffle before "to work!"

NO I FORGOT ABOUT THIS we get to hear Renfield yelling agggggh I was not prepared at all and now I'm crying again

"the very first thing we decided was that Mina should be in full confidence; that nothing of any sort—no matter how painful—should be kept from her." I love how you can hear the rage at himself and determination to never ever ever fail her this way again

the fear, the trembled edge as he says "her eyes shone with the devotion of a martyr"

I love the way she says "I shall die." perfect delivery, gets across the 'like a fact' so simply and so well

"I would; if there were no friend who loved me, who would save me such a pain, and so desperate an effort!" She looked at him meaningly as she spoke." she is so good at manipulation. Something about the way she says this is perfectly pointed, so deliberately calm and not requesting but absolutely requesting and framing it as love and friendship and what is deserved

I really love the way he says "you must not die!" each and every time

"you must struggle and strive to live!" this sentence has such a good sound

"She was pleased with the prospect of anything to do" oh Mina

"Until it sets to-night, that monster must retain whatever form he now has. He is confined within the limitations of his earthly envelope. He cannot melt into thin air nor disappear through cracks or chinks or crannies. If he go through a doorway, he must open the door like a mortal." I think this is new vampire lore, that he cannot change shapes or anything during the day. It makes sense but hasn't come up I don't think

"the minutes and seconds so preciously laden with Mina's life and happiness were flying from us" I just love this phrasing

the house in Piccadilly that Jonathan hunted down. so, so, so glad he did

the way Jonathan says "the precious, precious time!"

"Don't - wait - more than need be..." he is trying so hard

van Helsing is so good at knowing how to get away with breaking the law <3

I wonder if this story about the guy who sold the stolen house is based on true events

van Helsing's laugh at the story is so nice

the way Art says "I can be of some use here" he is trying so hard to help. this is the only time he's wrong because his carriages are too fancy richboy for the situation

Jonathan not mentioning Mina's pointy teeth...

van Helsing's "do you forget" is SO king laugh. oh my god

the way Jonathan says "did I forget" lkadjsflkdjsf;kds

"I shall not forget, for it is well that I remember" Mina's hoarse voice...

the way Jonathan sighs when saying Mina was the most cheerful

MINA'S SCREAM AND THE MUSIC HOLY SHIT

"my poor darling" the way he says this

fuck, the way she sobs "Unclean" and "polluted flesh", how her voice cracks on "before the Judgement day"

JONATHAN CUDDLING HER INSTANTLY

"For a few minutes our sorrowful hearts beat together," this line

the way Jonathan says this line so softly: "There was hope in his words, and comfort; and they made for resignation."

~holding hands while pledging to save Mina~

HERE IT IS

"To one thing I have made up my mind: if we find out that Mina must be a vampire in the end, then she shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone. I suppose it is thus that in old times one vampire meant many; just as their hideous bodies could only rest in sacred earth, so the holiest love was the recruiting sergeant for their ghastly ranks." this line. and the delivery. almost soft at the end, but completely resolute.

van Helsing has at minimum 56 holy wafers left. and that is after his antics at Lucy's tomb. he really just took a giant sack I guess

Jonathan waving to Mina in the window <3 and her waving back <3

Art looking out for Jonathan's future <3 and utilizing his privilege and title

oh I love the frustration as Jonathan snaps "Eight boxes only out of the nine, which we sought!"

god, the description of Jonathan. love the music on "he is like a living flame"

oh I have always been pronouncing it "skolomance" in my head

"He is experimenting, and doing it well;" I love the delivery of this line

"Do we not see how at the first all these so great boxes were moved by others. He knew not then but that must be so. But all the time that so great child-brain of his was growing, and he began to consider whether he might not himself move the box. So he began to help; and then, when he found that this be all-right, he try to move them all alone." I really don't think this is the case. I think he didn't feel the need to move them all by himself at first, not that he didn't think he could

"He has just now, 12:45, come from Carfax hurriedly and hastened towards the South." the USEFULNESS. the PRECISION ABOUT TIMJE

"Now, God be thanked, we shall soon meet!" and "I would sell my soul to do it!" Jonathan is AFLAME

the delivery of the "w- for him" when van Helsing is scared they literally destroyed the boxes is so funny

oh I love the way van Helsing figures out his movements and the music as he does so

THE MUSIC AS DRACULA ARRIVES AND THEY FIGHT

so exciting kill him kill him

the slice!!!

the loot drop!!!!

again the disgust as JAck describes Dracula

I love the window breaking noise so much, not only just for itself but for what it means. Dracula is reduced to ungainly flight. he's snatching money off the floor and jumping out a window, tumbling to the ground. He's still losing money when he gets there!!!! (the ting is so good). Meanwhile Jonathan will skitter after him no problem at all

the way he says "You!" all scoffing but with a little edge to it. This whole speech. He is trying so hard to sound in charge and unbothered and terrifying and he is failing

Jonathan had no problem with the window but sadly a locked door yet again defeats him :(

Mina still finding time (and blood) to blush at descriptions of Jonathan's love for her <3

THE WAY SHE SAYS "Jonathan." so much love I cannot handle it at all

Mina speaking of pity for Dracula now... it's about herself as well of course. She is trying to sound so calm and compassionate but she is also so so so afraid here.

Jonathan's hatred for Dracula <3

"I, too, may need such pity; and that some other like you—and with equal cause for anger—may deny it to me!" Jonathan thinking well that will never happen because I will never let it.

The way she repeats "my husband". The way her voice shakes. I imagine her touching his hair as she talks about it...

The way he says "This, I know." The way he cries as he talks about how much more he loves her. I can't....

"I am not sleepy myself, though I am weary—weary to death." God, the way he says this line is agonizing. And how he gasps into his next breath... gahhhhh the way he starts to fall asleep as he writes

Mina's fear at someone in the hall is SO GOOD. And Quincey's so so so gentle "go back to bed. It's all right..." I love them so much I am crying about it, literally

oh SHIT there's music

OH YOU FUCKER YOU ABSOLUTE JACKASS

I literally tensed every single muscle in my body as I hear Dracula start to sing. Oh my GODDDDDD every line is so good and so inFURIATING holy shit the smug bastardddddd

the music is. so CHEERY. fa;lkdfjas;kdjlas god he is so delighted with himself this is. I cannot. ASJKDFLKDDJ DRACULAAAAAAAA

this song is amazing. with every single new line I. I- incredible.

[theputterer]

Good Things In 2023

It’s that time of year again! Time to remember all the good things that happened in 2023. I’ve done this since 2017, and highly recommend doing this as a fun way to reflect (and to have something for future reference when you are feeling Down.)

woof ok here we go

PERSONAL

I visited two countries I haven't been to before: the Netherlands and Iceland!

The Netherlands: mostly Amsterdam but did also pop down to The Hague for a day. Did the Van Gogh Museum, the Anne Frank House, the Rijksmuseum, the Bloemenmarkt, a canal boat tour, the Royal Palace, the Mauritshuis.

Iceland: I was there for less than 48 hours but I saw THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!!!! they were subtler than I expected but so cool. also did the Perlan Museum and a Lava Show, which ruled.

Related: I turned 30 this year!

My dear friend Sam came to visit me in Dublin in June! The highlight of her visit was going with her to see Hozier at Malahide Castle.

Speaking of which, Hozier dropped UNREAL UNEARTH which isn't personal, per se, but is very personal to me

My sister visited me in November! We squeezed a lot in her time here, but highlights were Glendalough, the Hill of Tara, and the Galway Christmas Market.

A few aunts went on a trip to Ireland this fall and I joined them for a bit up in Donegal, as well as a day trip to Derry, which I'd not been to before.

Completely fucking forgot about this but I did write a 158k word long ROGUE ONE / FRINGE AU, ENDLESS FORMS MOST BEAUTIFUL. it was a real fuckin bitch to finish, let me tell you that

I got really into MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE over the summer (don't ask) and wrote a couple short pieces inspired by the most recent movie, DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE: LADY LAZARUS and WORTHY THE NAME OF SIR KNIGHT.

I jumped back on my bullshit in October and wrote a long, extended epilogue to my BINARY STAR SYSTEMS trilogy: TWO DESERTS. the way the series ended was always correct and good but it was fun to write this extended epilogue focusing on the fallout, the question of what it's like to live past the end of your myth.

Anything bolded below is something I particularly enjoyed and recommend. 

MOVIES

2023 movies I saw and liked:

M3GAN

KNOCK AT THE CABIN

65

BONO AND THE EDGE, A SORT OF HOMECOMING WITH DAVID LETTERMAN

DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS: HONOR AMONG THIEVES

RENFIELD

THREE MUSKETEERS: D'ARTAGNAN

JOHN MULANEY: BABY J

SISU

THE LITTLE MERMAID

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE

ASTEROID CITY

INDIANA JONES AND THE DIAL OF DESTINY

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE

BARBIE

OPPENHEIMER

PAST LIVES

ELEMENTAL

A HAUNTING IN VENICE

CHEVALIER

KILLERS OF THE FLOWER MOON

BOTTOMS

THE ROYAL HOTEL

DREAM SCENARIO

ANATOMY OF A FALL

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES

EILEEN

NAPOLEON

GODZILLA MINUS ONE

FERRARI

2022 movies I saw and liked:

TAR

THE LOST CITY

WOMEN TALKING

TV

THE LAST OF US

PEAKY BLINDERS

BOOKS

super embarrassing how few books I read this year:

"Survival of the Richest: Escape Fantasies of the Tech Billionaires" by Douglas Rushkoff

"Donegal Folk Tales" by Joe Brennan

"Listen to the Land Speak: A Journey into the Wisdom of What Lies Beneath Us" by Manchan Magan

"Hell Bent" by Leigh Bardugo

"The Book of M" by Peng Shepherd

"The World We Make" by NK Jemisin

"The Echo Wife" by Sarah Gailey

"Daisy Jones and the Six" by Taylor Jenkins Reid

"White Cat, Black Dog: Stories" by Kelly Link

"Yellowface" by RF Kuang

"Ithaca" by Claire North

"Killers of the Flower Moon: The Osage Murders and the Birth of the FBI" by David Grann

"A Heart That Works" by Rob Delaney

"Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier

"The Crying Book" by Heather Christie

"In the Dream House" by Carmen Maria Machado

"Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels, and Crooks" by Patrick Radden Keefe

"Fleabag" by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

"The Hurricane Wars" by Thea Guanzon

OTHER GOOD THINGS

*some of these things are Good as in well-written or well-made, but maybe not Good in topic.

"Eurydice" by Adrienne Su

"What Happens to a School Shooter's Sister?" by Jennifer Gonnerman for The New Yorker. A high school student murders his parents and several students at his school, and his sister is left to pick up the pieces. really powerful story on unconditional love.

"A Friend Died, Her Novel Unfinished. Could I Realize Her Vision?" by Leslie Jamison for The New Yorker. the grief of losing not only a dear friend but her art as well.

"Fuck you, I don't know?"

Werner Herzog pronounces Eeyore.

George Washington's Dream for America, an SNL sketch.

Judi Dench performs Shakespeare.

"Walking Brittany Home" by Devin Faraci for Washington Post. a really beautiful piece on death and love.

This thread on the struggle of trying to be fashionable in Ireland.

"The Return of the Marriage Plot: Why everyone is so eager for men and women to get hitched" by Rebecca Traister for The Cut.

"We Were Never Supposed to See Our Own Faces This Much" by Lola Christina Alao for Dazed Digital. on social media and personal reflection.

sunwoof

this story about Jimmy Buffett I loved

"She Wasn't Able to Get an Abortion. Now She's A Mom. Soon She'll Start Seventh Grade" by Charlotte Alter for Time. the cruelty is the point.

had a pilot named Ken yesterday and he introduced himself by saying his job is plane

"Cillian Murphy might be the star of a massive movie atm but to me he will always be the guy that showed up in the rain to our abortion rights marches"

"The 'Troubling Reverberations' at the End of OPPENHEIMER, Explained" by Bilge Ebiri for Vulture. it's an absolutely devastating ending, but the fact remains: there was no other way to end it.

this obituary for the great Sinéad O'Connor.

Kiké Hernandez returned to the Dodgers!

this behind the scenes video from the filming of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE: DEAD RECKONING - PART ONE where Tom Cruise's co-stars watch him drive a motorcycle off a cliff.

"How Christopher Nolan Learned to Stop Worrying and Love AI" by Maria Streshinsky for Wired. good interview with Nolan, one of my favorite filmmakers / artists. (anyone who's ever read anything I've written is probably like yes, this is very obvious.)

"The Perils and Promises of Penis-Enlargement Surgery" by Ava Kofman for The New Yorker. an absolutely BONKERS but super important piece!

a new ending to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, lmao

"The Return of Ryan Gosling" by Zach Baron for GQ. really great profile writing going on here!

"LOST Illusions: The Untold Story of the Hit Show's Poisonous Culture" by Maureen Ryan for Vanity Fair. LOST is one of my favorite shows and has been super influential on my work. (again, this is probably very obvious). this piece is devastating in how it reveals the terrible racism and sexism behind the scenes of a show I have loved. important.

Henry Kissinger died this year (GOOD THINGS BABYYY) and this piece by Nick Turse, which came out in May, is a good explainer on why that's such good news: "Kissinger's Killing Fields".

"Talking With 'Swiftie Dads' at a Taylor Swift Concert" by Eileen Cartter for GQ. I thought this was very sweet.

The New York Times had an interactive feature about Connie Chung and her impact on young Chinese-American women, particularly the ones named after her. I love this video of her meeting some of them.

"Will A.I. Become the New McKinsey?" by Ted Chiang for The New Yorker. Chiang is best known as the writer of STORY OF YOUR LIFE which was adapted into ARRIVAL, so it's wise to listen to him when it comes to tech and science.

Loved this speech Mark Hamill gave about Carrie Fisher at her Hollywood Walk of Fame induction ceremony.

Accents white people can still do.

this absolutely incredible slapstick esque unintentional comedy scene.

As always, tagging anyone who’d like to do this!

@magalis @callioope @earnestfeeling @illuminahsti @fortysevenswrites @vaderkat @leaiorganas @garethsedwards @rifle-yes @buffyrat @alittlemomentum @i-am-slain @rogue-rook