#remy beats the shit out of people

[finitevoid]

It was just as Crow and Remy were getting ready to storm the Tower in search of Pyhra that he arrived. Still dressed in the red dress he’d been wearing, blood running down his form. He pushed open the door to the roof with a trembling arm, breathing heavily through his nose, shallowly. The mark— the necklace they’d been trying to steal— was around his neck, glittering.

They hadn’t done this for any reason other than pride. To walk into the lion’s den and emerge victorious. They would be legends, for sneaking into the Tower and stealing its prized jewels. It would be a vengeance they could clutch in their small hands, the first major one they’d managed to enact. Any joy Crow felt upon seeing it died as soon as she got a good look at Pyhra.

There was a blankness in his eyes, punctuated by the way his hair was tangled and ruined, makeup smeared, skin covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She wondered, breathless, what possibly could have made someone who was so easily confident into this. 

Pyhra was on the front lines of the jobs, that part had always been obvious; but when things went sideways, he was supposed to call them. Remy’s specialty was raising enough hell to get Pyhra and Crow out. That was their job, same as it was Crow’s to get information and sneak in, and it was Pyhra’s to play point. His job this time had been to schmooze with the king’s advisor, to distract him while Crow slipped in through his bedroom window and steals the necklace. But by the time she got there it was already gone; they’d screamed into the comms, asking if he was hurt, in danger, anything. There’d been no response. 

And if he had called them, what would it have accomplished? They couldn’t fight against the security forces in the Tower, not with the entire ADF assembled at the party below. Six of the best Ability users in the entire world against the three of them? They would have died. No question. Whatever happened to make Pyhra look like this, he’d chosen to endure it.

Crow looked at him and resisted the urge to throw up, thinking about how much danger they thoughtlessly put him in. For their pride.

He was wearing a face Crow didn’t recognize, one that was all sharp edges where Pyhra’s face was soft; pale skin, green eyes, silver hair, sharp chin and eyes and pouty little lips. There was something about it she couldn’t place. Something about the way it fit onto him that felt… different, from the other faces he wore. 

He came to a stop where they were, standing next to the lip of the roof. Crow heard as the blood began to make little pattering sounds against the gravel beneath their feet. Remy said, “Holy Sun, Pyhra, are you okay?”

To which Pyhra replied by laughing. 

A barking, bitter, angry laugh that grated against Crow’s ears. Half-mocking and half-ironic.

He pulled a cigarette from his pocket with trembling hands. He attempted to light it with the lighter Crow had given him for the job, but everytime he got the flame underneath the cigarette, the shaking would jerk it away. Pyhra’s movements became more harsh, frustrated, and he growled when the cigarette once again stubbornly did not light.

Crow yanked the lighter from his hand, clicked it on and held it underneath his cigarette herself. She’d done this before, for him. But now, when he looked at her, it was like he was watching a stranger. Wary and guarded.

As it took, he leaned back and breathed in relief. The smoke filled the air, curling around him. Crow held the lighter out to him. Pyhra took it from her palm and, without hesitation, hurled it over the side of the building.

“Serves the little fucker right,” he hissed. 

“What happened on the job?” Crow asked.

Pyhra closed his fist around the mark, yanked on it until the clasp broke, and slammed it onto the ground. It fell with a sharp tink sound. Remy crouched down and picked it up, holding it up to the rapidly dying sunlight. 

Golden and bejeweled, made of solid metal and gems salvaged from the deadened ruins of the mines in the Old City, before they collapsed. One of a kind, immeasurably valuable, the pinnacle of rich indulgences. It would make them never want for anything. It would make them famous. It would give them their vengeance.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Pyhra grimaced. “I got it, didn’t I? Job well done.” 

“Not at your expense.” Because god, god, she needed to make sure he knew that.

Something in Pyhra folded, and he curled in on himself, shoulders bowed. Head tipped towards the ground, he said, “It wasn’t worth it.”

“It wasn’t,” Crow agreed, because it didn’t matter what it was, anything that made Pyhra look like that wasn’t worth it. 

A silence.

“What face is that?” Remy asked, still crouched on the ground, looking up at Pyhra. “I like it.”

It wasn’t the face he’d worn into the job. Pyhra lifted his head to stare at the sky, his back to them both. Then, he said, “Mine.”

“…yours?”

“It’s my face.”

The realization hit Crow almost violently. This was his true face. Not the one he’d presented to them— the one he’d worn in their hideout, the face he’d worn when he introduced himself to them, asking if he could join their vengeance. That face, with straw blonde hair and a smattering of freckles. Pyhra was a shapeshifter of an unmatched caliber, with a repertoire of lies he plucked out at will. But he’d always shown that other face to them, when he’d relaxed. He’d always presented it like it was his face. And that was a lie?

The face they’d always known him as— it, too, was a face constructed. A face made for, what? To look unassuming, good-looking and friendly? A face to show your closest friends and pretend it’s not a lie? A face for pretending, down to the word’s base level. 

Of course someone with the core Aspect deceit would lie to everyone. Crow had suspected as much, all this time. It didn’t ease the sting, nor did it calm the rapidly forming storm in her heart. It didn’t do much of anything, except make her angrier, because she’d known he was a liar but convinced herself that she was an exception. Convinced herself that she meant more to him than his deceit did.

The thing she’d noticed about this face, it’s uncanny oddness, was that it fit. It slipped seamlessly into the lines of Pyhra’s existence that the other faces simply didn’t— couldn’t. Finally, for the first time, Pyhra’s expressions fit the face they were on. It was nearly impossible to describe, because Pyhra was an exceptionally good actor. But it was like seeing him in color for the first time, like this was the way he was meant to look. Pyhra wasn’t lying.

Pyhra had been lying all this time.

Remy stood, “Thank you. For trusting us.” they said, reverent, staring at Pyhra like he hung the moon and stars. Blind and deaf to Crow’s hurt, they continued, “I love it.”

For one pulse-stopping moment, Crow thought they were going to say I love you.

Like this mockery, this fakery, like it was all they could’ve asked for; like they were bowing at his feet and praying for his love; so, so grateful that Pyhra has deigned to reveal to them his untruths. Thanking him for revealing said untruths, neck bared, eyes glittering with joy.

Pyhra, for his part, looked like a wild animal. Eyes flitted between them distrustfully, like he was debating bolting. And what was he afraid of? Crow’s anger, or Remy’s reverence?

“What happened on the job?” Crow asked, again, because the air was beginning to smell like the blood running down Pyhra’s skin.

“Nothing.”

“Why do you lie!” Crow exploded, all of the frustration piling up. This face, it wasn’t trust, it was a demonstration of all the ways Pyhra refused to trust them, refused to trust anyone; Crow had bared her heart and soul and all her ugly vulnerabilities to this boy, and he couldn’t even deign to show her his face?

Pyhra smiled like a star dying; not the wild supernova, but the way a star dies from their place on Earth: blinking there until it disappears, gone forever. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

“You’re hurt,” she whispered, shattering.

“I’m fine,” Pyhra lied, expression like stone. “I’ll be fine.”

Pyhra lied and lied and lied.

“Why to us!” Crow shouted. “Have we not earned your trust?!”

Pyhra pressed his forehead to his hand, still holding the cigarette. “He hurt me,” he sobbed dryly. “Are you really gonna make me say it?”

Crow fell silent. Remy pressed a hand to Pyhra’s shoulder, retreating when he flinched. “Nobody’s making you say it.”

Pyhra breathed, shakily, harshly, like he could scarcely remember how to do it. He was looking at Crow, guarded, lips pinching in that way he does. and Crow was halfway between laughing and crying, because that was such a Pyhra expression, on this stranger’s face.

Remy, gently, touched Pyhra’s shoulder. He didn’t flinch that time, simply breathed wetly, like he was a razor’s edge from breaking down. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Pain exploded in Crow’s heart and ricocheted through her whole body, until she was numb with it. Five years. Five years of her life in this fucking city, scrabbling her way through its trash like an animal. Five years and it’s nice to meet you.

Pyhra crumbled like a building turning to ashes. He dropped the cigarette, slowly dropping to his knees. Remy followed him, hand on his shoulder, until they were sitting on the gravel together. “It’s over now, Pyhra.”

And Crow was useless but to watch as tears filled Pyhra’s eyes and carved their way down his cheeks. She had seen Pyhra cry only once before, outside his apartment where his little brother couldn’t hear, sobbing into his hands. They hadn’t had any food, so Crow taught him how to steal.

Remy continued, “Pyhra is your actual name, right?”

Pyhra burst into giggles, wiping at his eyes, a little hysterical. “Yes!”

“Good!” Remy matched him, laughing. Then, Remy turned to her, smiling crookedly. “Pyhra wants us to meet him, Crow. Won’t you do it?” When Crow didn’t immediately reply, they turned toward the sunset, eyes going hazy. “This is just like when we met, when you think about it. Pyhra just has a way of surprising us, doesn’t he? I remember how he appeared in the base, and before you could flay him alive, he said, and I’ll never forget this— he said you’ll need me, if you want to get anywhere. And you were mad then, too, weren’t you, Crow? You didn’t want to trust him.”

Crow remembered it well. They’d been thirteen or so, Crow and Remy living in the hollowed out wall of one of the office buildings near the capital. They’d made it a game to get as close to the capital building as possible. The plan, back then, was probably to kill the king, or something equally impossible and dramatic, befitting their youthful immortality. And Pyhra had seen them, broke into their base, lounging dramatically on their threadbare couch. After he said his piece, Crow had crossed her arms and snapped, “Oh, yeah? Prove it, then.”

“And?” Crow ground out.

“And he convinced you by turning into you, and making fun of the way you cross your arms.”

She wondered if that was how they remembered it. To her, it had been about seeing her expressions, her cadence, her body language, mimicked so well by a boy she barely knew. He was mocking her, sure. But only by how he was able to become her, to slip into her skin like a well-worn jacket. He’d returned to himself, or what she thought was himself, grinning like a cat, and they’d welcomed him.

Remy looked at Pyhra fondly. “Y’know, none of the past is gone. None of the things we’ve done together are gone. We’ll always have those memories.”

Crow’s lips began to tremble. They were right, she knew. They’d shoved a lifetime of excitement into their adolescence together, and nothing would change that. Slowly, she knelt beside them both. Close, but not touching; hovering over Pyhra’s shoulder. She set a hand on his back, and he flinched. “You’re hurt,” it was not forgiveness. But it was what Remy had asked of her.

“Yeah.” She felt the vibration of the word where their skin touched.

Remy smiled at her, toothy and wide. “Let’s go home, okay?”

Home. What a loaded word. But that is where they went, silent as a funeral procession, hanging off of each other like the mourners. She and Remy were dressed for it, she would note wryly, many years in the future. Dressed in black to match the falling nighttime, Pyhra sticking out like a bleeding wound.

Crow wasn’t sure what they were mourning.

[abrushwithdeath]

"You should stay away from David Haller. He's dangerous. He'll kill you if you aren't careful."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard it all before," She rolled her eyes. Did they really, actually, think that their words were gonna change anything? "If ya tryin' t'scare me, it ain't gonna work. Yer gon' have t'say somethin' a lot worse'n that t'change my mind," She was used to this whole song and dance: David is dangerous. David isn't well. Be careful around David. Keep away from David. It was starting to sound a bit like static at this point. But, with that said... "Though I'll warn ya, if ya gonna try talkin' shit 'bout 'im, specially to me, ya'd do best t'mind yer words, 'cause I ain't above hittin' a person. An' trust me, ya don't want that."

[loving-barnes]

LOGAN HOWLETT - ONE OF US

A/N: CHAPTER ELEVEN is here! I will continue the story. I don't think I will rewrite it. I just needed to put out something and now, I can move forward and start some drama. Not now. Not in this chapter.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x mutant female reader

Warning: I have decided to not give any warnings. Please remember this story is 18+.

Summary: Y/N got an offer to become a member of the X-men.

Please, do not read if you are under 18. This story is suitable for a mature audience. MINORS DNI!

Words: 3000+

Important note: Again, Logan is a tall MF, because they fucked up in the movies. Also, Hugh Jackman!Wolverine. This is set in AU.

A TOUCH OF HOPE MASTERLIST | Chapter Ten

LOGAN HOWLETT - ONE OF US

The youngest students fell in love with their new English teacher. They wanted her attention all day, every day, which didn’t sit well with Logan. He couldn’t steal a quick chat with her in the hallway between classes, or a secret kiss while no one was watching. Before he had a chance, a kid or two would take Y/N’s hand, taking her away from Logan. In a blink of an eye, she’d be gone.

Y/N wasn’t blind. She saw how his nostrils flared when a student got her away from him. She sensed the disappointment when he couldn’t get his hands on her. Also, they wanted to be careful about their relationship - or whatever this was. Maybe people already knew about them. Suspicions were raised long before they became a thing.

“Let’s keep this between us for now,” Y/N suggested after their first passionate night together. 

They were lying on the bed in her room, limbs tangled. Her fingers were drawing patterns on his naked chest as she was listening to his beating heart. Logan’s body was warm. All she wanted to do was inhale his scent all day and night. Hell, all she wanted was to lick his abs, but that was just her secret fantasy.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t want to jinx it,” she whispered. “Something good is happening and I fear I will lose it. I hope you understand.” 

Logan pressed a kiss to the top of her head, humming. To her surprise, he agreed. “We don’t owe anyone any explanation,” he said. “But I agree. We should keep this between us for now. To see how things will go.” 

“I think Storm knows,” Y/N said with a smile. “She was teasing me about it for some time.” 

Logan chuckled. “Yeah, same with Rogue. She was getting on my nerves. Always teasin’ and shit.” 

Y/N laughed. “Yeah, she always gave me the damn eyes - that look to nudge me to do something.” 

After another school day, the students spend their time outside in the sun. Even though it was autumn, that day was surprisingly warm and sunny. No one would have known Halloween was only a few days away. 

Logan was standing at the basketball court, talking to Remy. His arms crossed over his chest while his eyes stared into the distance. Of course, he was looking at Y/N who hung out with some of the youngest students. She had her body hanging from a tree, upside down, while another child did the same. They laughed and talked and the kids around seemed happy. Damn, she was good with them. 

She was fearless, caring and filled with something he couldn’t describe. He swore he would never let anyone close to him again, and here she was, getting to his heart without even trying. Was it meant to be? Where the fuck was his brain going with this? Since when did he start to believe in this shit? 

“Are you even listening, mon ami?” he heard Remy’s annoyed voice. Before the man could reply, Remy noticed. “Ah, the new girl,” he laughed. “She seems nice. Don’t you think?” 

Logan squinted. Y/N was no longer the ‘new girl’. “What’s your point?” 

“It’s just…” he thought about his next words. He voiced them carefully. “What if Scott is right about her?” 

Logan was only a second away from punching him in the face. “What the fuck do you mean, Gambit?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “She could be a danger to us and the kids. I just thought about what Scott said about her, you know? I know she saved the school. But Scott is the second hand in command,” he said. “I trust his instincts.” 

Logan’s fist clenched tighter. “Just because you trust his fucking instincts, you think he’s right? Get a life, Remy,” he spat at him and stomped away. 

“Come on man, I’m sorry,” Remy called after Logan and ran to him. “I only said it to see your reaction,” he laughed. “I see how you eye the girl. I knew these words would piss you off. You must really like her.” 

“Shut up,” he growled. 

“It’s very romantic, mon ami,” Remy continued. “You saved her, brought her here. Then you trained her and voilá, feelings were developed.” But he didn’t stop there. “I’ve noticed you changed your wild hairstyle, Logan. Your hair is more fluffy. You look like Prince Charming.” 

That was it for the Wolverine. He reached for Remy’s shoulder and brought him down on the hard ground. Everyone’s attention was on them. “Keep your damn mouth shut, Gambit,” Logan growled. “I have no idea whatcha talking about, but you as hell are getting on my nerves.”

“So, it’s true,” he laughed. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” 

A hand grabbed Logan’s shoulder and pushed him back. “Hey, woah big guy,” said Y/N. “What’s going on? Why so violent all of a sudden?” 

“He’s constantly getting on my nerves,” he huffed and stepped away from Remy. 

Y/N gave Remy a hand and helped him up on his feet. “Thank you, chére,” he smiled at her. 

A loud whistle echoed around the basketball court. Everyone turned their heads to the sound, noticing Rogue and Storm standing at the entrance door. “Now that we have your attention,” Rogue laughed. “The Professor wants to talk,” she continued. “He wants us to meet at the Danger room, now.” Her finger pointed at Logan, Remy and Y/N.

“Behave,” Y/N turned to the students, threatening them with a finger.

Logan shook his head. “You already have them wrapped around your finger, eh?” 

Remy had to laugh. The more he watched Logan talk to Y/N, the more he found it amusing. 

When they approached the two women, Rogue threatened Logan with a finger. “Touch my man one more time, and I will punch you in your face. I know you can heal in a matter of seconds, but you know damn well how painful my fist can be.”

Y/N bit her lower lip not to laugh at them. When she approached Storm, she wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Together they walked to the Danger room. 

. . .

“This is the stupidest idea ever.” 

Everyone was in the Danger room, ready to watch how powerful Y/N’s force field was. Charles suggested using Scott’s laser eyes to see if her power would withstand it. It was met with scepticism and criticism from both Y/N and Scott. Logan wasn’t fond of the idea but kept his mouth shut. He was worried Scott would hurt Y/N intentionally. 

Neither of them wanted to do it. They kept bickering, trying to convince Charles to let go. Unfortunately for them, he insisted. Now, both of them were standing on the other side of the room, ready to give the rest of the people a show. 

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Y/N. “Finally, we agree on something,” she grinned. “I was able to absorb a missile like two minutes ago,” Y/N argued. “I don’t see a point in doing this.”

Scott was standing with hands in his pockets, barely moving. “Are you afraid?” he smiled at her. He was mocking her.

“Are you?” she replied with a smirk.

They moved through the danger room, each taking a place on the other side. They were far enough from the spectators and there was a giant gap between them.

Her eyes shifted to the people standing at the entrance. Logan had his hands crossed over his chest, eyes fixed on her. Storm and Jean were leaning against the nearest wall, watching the upcoming show. Charles was in the wheelchair by Logan’s side. Remy held Rogue’s waist, head resting on her shoulder. The rest of the team had to attend classes and teach.

Y/N took a deep breath, closed her eyes and wrapped herself in a force field. She didn’t need her hands to do it. She could do it with her mind. Since she came to the school, she learnt more about it, how to control it and over time, it strengthened. When Y/N opened her eyes, they were all staring at her. It seemed everyone was impressed. Logan had a tiny smile on his lips. Was he proud? She hoped so.

“I thought she needed to use her hands. When did that happen?” Storm asked Logan and Charles. 

“During the attack,” Logan replied. “She was able to create multiple of them under pressure and stress. That’s when she made one using her mind. She had us both under them. And I was nowhere near her.” 

“Fascinating,” Charles said with a smile. “Tense and stressful situations can help speed up developing the power. She’s a fast learner.” 

“What did I miss?” Peter appeared next to them out of nowhere, eyes fixated on Y/N. “Damn, that thing is cool.”

“Don’t you have a class to teach?” Storm asked. 

Peter made a face. “Please, I wouldn’t miss this for the world. But no, I don’t. Have I seen her make it? Maybe I did. I don’t know.” 

“Your mouth’s running miles, Speedy. Shut up,” Logan glared at him.

Y/N concentrated. She cleared her mind, trying to think about nothing but the task. Her eyes glared at Scott, watching as he set the device on his eyes and blasted a laser at her. When it hit the forcefield, the laser got absorbed into it. She felt energy pulses running through her body. It wasn’t pleasant. Y/N struggled to keep it up. She had to admit that Scott had a powerful mutation. 

“God fucking dammit,” she cursed and lifted her hands in the air, trying to hold the shield up. She could feel her energy draining fast. A growl escaped her throat. A bomb would already be done. Scott’s lasers kept on going with the same intensity. She cursed a few more times. 

Y/N wouldn’t give up. She pushed through.

Scott stopped. The laser was gone. He didn’t lose his composure. A grin appeared on his face. “Impressive,” he commented. “Although, I didn’t go full power on you. You are not strong enough.” 

Y/N’s arms fell next to her body. The force field disappeared as she fell on her knees, breathing heavily. “Go fuck yourself,” she cursed. There was a big difference between the laser and the explosion. Their energy was incomparable. “Shit,” she mumbled, her head spinning. Slowly, she lay down on the ground, trying to ground herself. 

The sounds that echoed around her, from the people who were present, became muffled. Her eyes were locked on the ceiling which seemed to be kilometres away.

“Already napping, princess?” she heard Logan’s voice. 

Y/N raised her middle finger in the air. It was meant for Logan. “It was a stupid idea,” she huffed. “Thanks, Scott. It was fun,” she yelled. 

“Any time,” Scott laughed. The man moved to the group. “Is her forcefield strong? Yes. But, like I said, she’s weak. She was able to hold it for less than a minute. That’s not enough. She needs to train more, challenge herself.”

“She’s not weak,” said Logan. “You should have seen what happened when the school was under attack. You wouldn’t believe your cyclop eye.” 

Y/N’s eyes remained fixed on the ceiling, not listening to the conversation at the entrance. Her heart was beating fast. The energy flowing inside her was strong, pulsing. She needed to calm down. Her hands rested on top of her raising chest. Thinking back, a few months ago, she wouldn’t be able to do any of this. Now, she’s a different person - a different mutant.  Who knows what would have happened to her if she’d remained in the facility? What if she never tried to escape? What if…

“Hey.” Her eyes moved to the side, finding Logan standing above her. “You okay?” He asked. 

“I’m just trying to catch my breath,” she grimaced. “My whole body is vibrating.”

Logan laughed. “Come on, get your ass up, princess,” he reached a hand to her. She grabbed it and he lifted her on her feet. “Are you sure you are okay? You don’t seem like it.” 

Y/N looked at the group of people in front of her. “When did Charles get the ability to multiply? I see two of them… and Storm… and everyone.” 

“Jesus Christ, woman,” Logan huffed. “Don’t say you are fine when you are not.” He set his arm for her to grab on. He walked her to the rest of the people. 

Rogue chuckled. “Adorable,” she commented. “You really are a knight in shining armour.” She received one deadly glare from him. 

“You okay?” Jean was concerned. 

“Yeah, I just need a longer minute,” said Y/N.

“There is something we have for you, Y/N,” said Charles. “Come to the lab, please.” He wheeled out from the Danger room as the rest followed him. 

Rogue was able to steal Y/N from Logan again, giving him a big innocent smile as she did so. “Come on, sugar, we have something special for you.”

“Hey, don’t spoil it,” Storm glared at her.

“Oh, no,” Y/N sighed. “I’m not fond of surprises,” she whispered. 

“You’re gonna love this one,” Rogue sang excitedly. 

The group went inside the lab, everyone taking their place. Hank went to a metal-like wardrobe. With a click of a button, he opened it and reached for something that looked like a piece of clothing. He had a smile on his face. 

“Let’s make this simple,” Charles turned in his wheelchair, facing Y/N. “You’ve made a fantastic profess with your ability. It’s fascinating to watch your journey with us. The kids have bonded well with you, accepting you as their new teacher. You saved the school and the students, for which I am grateful. I think it’s only fair to ask you if you’d like to become an official member of the X-men.” 

Her mouth opened wide, not believing this was happening. Was this actually happening? “A-are you serious?” 

“Yes!” Jean nodded. “You’d be an excellent addition to the team. You already are.” 

Y/N’s eyes checked each and every member. They were all staring at her, waiting for her to say something. And Logan had a smirk on his face, eyes digging into hers. He wanted to know her answer. 

She smiled at them. “Holy shit, it’s like a proposal,” she laughed. “Yes, of course.”

Hank was the first to approach her as Rogue clapped her hands. He handed her a custom-made black uniform. He patted her shoulder. It felt unreal. 

A few months ago, she was beaten and bruised, not capable of using her power. Logan found her which was a miracle moment. Now, they wanted her to become a member of the X-men. They trusted her, except Scott. Fuck him.

“Wonderful,” Charles nodded. “I’m glad your answer was positive. I would like to talk to you more about this tomorrow morning. Since the formalities are done, everyone should return to their classes.”

It felt surreal. Was she finally fitting somewhere? A tiny smile played on her lips as Y/N kept scanning the new suit with her eyes, noticing every detail. The yellow stripes were a perfect combination to the all-black leather outfit. 

One by one, they left the lab, leaving Y/N standing there with her thoughts. They understood she’d want to process this alone for a moment. Logan noticed she didn’t move, eyes glued to the piece of clothing. His head turned to the rest of the team to see if they were paying attention while walking to the elevator. Quickly, he walked back to Y/N. 

He approached her slowly and put both hands on her shoulders. “You okay?” 

Her eyes lifted, all glassy and sparkling. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she quickly nodded, smiling. “I’m more than fine. I’m thrilled.”

“Good,” he smiled at her. 

She eyed him carefully. “You have a very handsome smile, have I told you that?” 

He raised one eyebrow. “Uh, that’s a first.” He leaned closer to her. When she raised her head, his lips pressed onto hers in a simple kiss. “You flatter me, princess.”

“Someone has to. I can’t make fun of you, tease you all the damn time.” 

Logan turned his head to the door, then back at her. “Ya know what, darlin’? Let’s go out tonight. Just the two of us.” 

Y/N’s eyes sparkled. “Oh? You wanna take me on a date?” 

He hummed. “Imma take you somewhere where we can be alone for more than five fucking minutes. I’m so fucking angry that those damn kids steal you away from me whenever I try to reach out for you.” 

She laughed at that. “I knew you were not fond of that. Logan, they are just kids. So, let’s go out, just the two of us. Let’s hope no one will want to tag with us.”

“You want me all to yourself, eh?” 

Y/N kissed him again. “Fuck yes,” she said. “Living here has been amazing. I adore everyone. But, I want to have some alone time with you. When we are alone, what do we do?”

“Fuck,” he said.

“Exactly. We fuck, we talk for five minutes and we fall asleep,” she snorted. 

Logan pressed another kiss to her lips - loving, gentle. “I’ll wait for you in the garage at eight. Oh, and, wear something warm. It’s gonna get cold.” 

She gasped. “Are you taking me on your bike?” 

“Only if you promise me not to fucking fall off it like the first time I took you on it,” he laughed. 

“Hey! I was wounded, barely conscious. Hell, I went unconscious. Plus, I didn’t even know you. Not my fault,” she frowned at his teasing. She clutched the suit in her hand while the other punched his shoulder. 

Logan laughed at that attempt. “Okay, okay, I get your point, darlin’. I’m just messin’ with ya.”

“I know,” she smiled. 

Another kiss happened. “Eight o’clock. Just the two of us.”

“Just the two of us.” 

[oceansprompts]

text message prompts

[text] You okay?

[text] GO TO BED!

[text] hey you better be alive in there

[text] SOS save me please holy shit

[text] call me this date is going so bad

[text] I have way too much shit to do.

[text] Honestly I'm really worried about you.

[text] Why are you trending on Twitter?

[text] Please let me come over and pet your (pet).

[text] We are in the same building, you could come talk to me.

[text] It's not going to work out.

[text] This is a terrible idea.

[text] people have fetishes

[text] They really do crucify anyone these days huh

[text] I don't know why but that really means me want to stab you

[text] That movie was awful.

[text] For the love of god please help me

[text] I fucked up. I fucked up really bad.

[text] I'm blocking you.

[text] YOU ONE BRAINCELLED BITCH

[text] I regret swiping right.

[text] Everyone lies on their dating profiles.

[text] That absolutely can't be an actual picture of you.

[text] This forced open my third eye and I saw the devil

[text] I'm like a child in line for the newest fucked up disney ride

-

[text] That's just all fucking sorts of fucked up

[text] Why are we here? To suffer? Every other day I get messages that cause pain

[text] In the department of old man fucking, we've got you beat.

[text] have you gotten any work done?

[text] I am beyond shame, try again

[text] You left your left your underwear at my place.

[text] Don't you dare put this on Facebook.

[text] My brother in Christ you're being haunted

[text] I want to wring you like a wet towel and slap you against a wall

[text] The mind is weak but the body is funky

[text] I'm a zombie the law can't stop me.

[text] Jealous of my massive honkers

[text] We left you to die to play minecraft

[text] She would never ever take away one of these stupid fucking hats

[text] I puked all over the Uber driver's backseat.

[text] I just took a screenshot of that and posted it to Reddit

[text] You said you'd be right back and it's been months.

[text] Can't we talk about this face to face?

[text] Yeah, you'll come learn I just have a thing for milk

[text] Why did you like one of my pics from 2014?

[text] Now's as good a time as any to exchange nudes.

[text] Why would you send me an eggplant emoji?

[text] I write five paragraphs, pouring my heart out, and all you reply with is k?!

[text] Who would dare to lie on the internet?

[text] When I die, please delete all my shit off the internet

[text] He's so hot, I briefly started texting like a straight person

[text] And because I'm god and I've decided that; no, in fact, I'm not done.

-

[text] I know you love bloopy reggae jams, now is not the time.

[text] You better not be standing catatonic in your room again.

[text] God has abandoned his children but unfortunately for you I pay child support and I will smite thee.

[text]: My neighbor just told me he can fix my water heater for 50 bucks. I’m skeptical.

[text]: Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy apples? I paid 10 dollars for 6.

[text]: I mean, I wouldn’t say I have a problem with buying Squishmallows..

[text]: Hey, so you know how you told me no dog? *sends pic* I don’t do well with no’s.

[text] Stuart Little is a bitch and Remy could take him any day.

[text]: My roommate just said that Lola Bunny is hot. I’m moving out.

[text]: Hey I posted that vid of you drunk, singing Ariana Grande, wearing all black and people said not to do it again. Sorry.

[text]: Do you think the price is ever right? Like, I feel like it’s not.

[text]: I booped your nose. Boop the last five people you texted or–nothing happens really.

[text]: I’m actually in the ER and it’s a long story that involves Best Day Ever from spongebob.

[text]: I fucking hate you–wait you’re not my ex. Who are you?

[text]: You ever ask yourself if birds see a bee and just go ‘wow a bee’? im high.

[text]: sometimes all i think about is–sour patch kids. bet you thought it was you.

[text]: I love you—not as much as I love my dog. But still a lot!

[text]: I found a cat on the way home and now it’s mine. But it hates my guts so this should be fun.

[text]: I have questions about the marvel cinematic universe…how long do you have?

[text]: why do donald duck and winnie the pooh not have to wear pants but other people do?

[text]: Hey you know that show floor is lava? I may have turned the apartment into that..this isn’t a joke, btw. the floor is sticky.

[text]: I bought too much soap off etsy and now I don’t know what to do with it…I smell like Captain America.

[text]: On a scale of one to ten, how many drinks would you need to sleep with me? This isn’t a tiktok trend…or it is.

[cowpokeomens]

Blood Born

Hi hello! Sorry I disappeared, life has just been happening lately no matter how much I tell it not to. Anyways, below the cut you'll find Noah Sebastian with a mysterious secret doin the nasty bc I'm nothing if not a monster fucker.

Warnings: Mentions of blood, mentions of weapons, dirty nasty p-in-v smut, Noah's monster cock (canon), praise kink, there's some biting too. I think that's everything but I'm really tired so if I missed something, let me know! Enjoy!

________________________________________________________

New Orleans had always been one of Noah’s favorite cities.

He’d been partial to the French, anyway. Liked the way they baked absurd little confections, the way they fucked without remorse- the way they’d put each other’s head on a pike just to get a leg up in court. He’d been fortunate enough to be endowed with a pretty face, and there were few things the French liked more than that. 

Which is where he found himself now, walking through the French Quarter, looking for dinner. There were approximately a million restaurants with old signs beckoning him inside, but Noah had lost a taste for that kind of food long before he stepped foot in this city. 

He smelled you before he saw you. 

It was the off season, if such a thing existed for a city like this. You were bundled up in a jacket, hurrying through the streets. It was chilly, even for this time of year, the wind making its way through your hair to whip in every direction. That must have been what blew your scent his way, the intoxicating scent of jasmine and an uninterrupted heart beat almost making him stiffen up where he stood, across the street from you. He mourned your scent as you ducked into a building, trying to escape the chill. You didn’t reek of alcohol the way most people in this area did- if he had to guess, he’d say you probably hadn’t had anything stronger than a glass of wine tonight. The thought of how that would taste had him darting across the nearly empty street to follow you into the building quickly.

He didn’t get a good meal often. The drunken strangers he usually managed to entice sated him in the way a pint of blueberries would satisfy a black bear. It was hard to find a sober person who would let you bite them, and the ones who did come along were, well, strange to say the least. As if he had any moral high ground. 

The inside of the building was warm, dimly lit. He spotted you immediately, in a far corner by the bar, alone. 

Blessed be to the old gods and the new. He thought to himself. He wouldn’t even have to lure you away from a group. He could easily seduce an individual, but multiples were hard when he was hungry. 

He made his way over to where you sat, sitting around the corner so he could face you, but not be in your personal space. “Whiskey neat, please.” The bartender nodded once, pouring something foul and cheap-smelling into a glass with an ice cube. Noah fought back a grimace at the stench. 

“Oh, come on, Remy, don’t give him the fucking Jack Daniel’s.” A voice called next to him. “If you want to cheap out, do Crown. Who the hell voluntarily drinks Jack?”

Noah slowly turned his head to where you sat, frowning at the bartender, who was rolling his eyes in return. He did remake Noah’s drink though, with something decidedly more palatable. 

As he sat the drink down and walked to another patron, Noah turned to you. “Thank you. I was having a difficult time coping with the thought of that on my palate.”

You flashed him a grin. Briefly, he wondered what it would feel like to breathe again. 

“No worries. Remy likes to give the tourists the bottom shelf shit, but you seem like the sort of guy who knows his whiskey.” You took a small sip of your wine, something deeply red that made Noah shift in his seat ever so slightly. 

He inhaled once. “Grenache?”

You raised an eyebrow. “You know your wines, too. How could you tell?”

He shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “Lucky guess.”

You cocked your head to the side curiously. “I’ve never seen you here before.”

“I’ve never been here before.” Noah responded, emotionless.

“January is an odd time to visit for someone who’s never been here before.” You prodded further.

Noah couldn’t fight the smirk on his face. “Must you always play with your food?” Jolly had sighed once. “Maybe if I had a better tour guide, I would know that.”

He turns to look at you know, registers every emotion that crosses your face. Your pupils widen noticeably, your back going a little straighter. You were making this too easy for him. 

“You’re in luck, I happen to know a gal.” You’re beaming at him- a sweet, lopsided grin as you take a gulp of your wine and introduce yourself. Noah watches the movement of your throat as you do so, responding with his own name. He takes a moment to drink you in. 

Your jacket is gone now, but you’re still wearing a sweatshirt for a school he’s never heard of (Which, to be fair, is most of them.) Dark jeans cling to your legs where they sway idly from the barstool, your feet not touching the ground. Your hair has been pulled away from your face, but a few wisps escape and kiss the sides of your cheeks. He realizes, almost startled, that you’re beautiful. 

A dignified kind of beautiful, not the otherworldliness that his kind manages. He knows he’s attractive, but it’s the same kind of beauty that humans see in tigers, snakes-  A warning sign, a mark of predation. The kind of beauty you admire from the other side of bullet proof glass. 

You, though- you’re so warm. He can feel your warmth, even from over here. It transcends physicality; Warmth that is visceral, in your eyes and your lips and the scrunch of your nose reacting to the cold. 

“Hey, you okay?” Your soft voice shakes him out of his thoughts. “You looked sad.”

His eyes lock with yours, finding such human concern that if he could have wept, he would. You looked like you cared for people. He had not been cared for in a very long time. 

“Yes, sorry. Zoned out for a second there.” He quickly finished off his drink. “I would love to take you up on that offer, though. It would be nice to see the city from a local’s perspective.”

He was a dirty liar. He knew the earth of this place before the French could even see it from their ships. It was wild then, and wild now- though in different ways. He could see the old wild in the eyes of workers practicing their vaudou and the shadows that lingered at the edge of the swamps surrounding the city. It beckoned, a siren’s call out to the murky depths of the region. Colonizers said they “settled” the territory, but everyone old enough to remember knows that lands like that don’t settle. 

He supposed he was, in some ways, a marriage of those wilds. He remembered the things that lurked in the shadows… and now he was the thing lurking in that same darkness, however many lifetimes later.

“You know,” You interrupted his thoughts again, grabbing your coat in the process, “You get this really old-and-wise look on your face when you zone out. Are you thinking about war crimes, or mac ‘n cheese?”

He smiled despite himself. “Mac ‘n cheese.” 

You blinded him briefly with a smile in return. He knew instantly that he would regret this, but followed you out the bar nonetheless, throwing a bill onto the counter without looking back. 

You walked alongside each other in companionable silence until you spoke up. 

“So, what brings you to the city alone?”

Noah smirked at the ground. You didn’t even try to disguise your inquiries. It was refreshing.

“I was supposed to be visiting friends, but they’re not here anymore.” It wasn’t a lie- not the truth, but certainly not a lie. 

You frowned. “You didn’t think to check that your friends lived here still before you came?” 

Noah shook his head. “I was actually just passing through- decided to stay a few days.”

You nodded, as if his non-answers made any sense. It reminded him of how he would nod at the eloquent words of his elders when he was a child, like pretending he was wiser than he was would somehow allow the wisdom to materialize out of sheer will. A thought occurred to him. “How old are you?”

“Oh, I’m 25.” You responded, turning to cast a glance up at him. “You?”

He found he didn’t want to lie to you. “Older than you.” Was the answer he settled on. 

You snorted, surprising him. He raised an eyebrow in question. 

“Come on man, that’s like, the most ‘Guy Older Than 27’ thing to say.” You rolled your eyes at him. He couldn’t remember the last time someone rolled their eyes at him. 

He grinned anyway, not looking at you. “Fair enough. I am older than 27.”

You gave him a sidelong glance. “Why so cryptic? Scared I’ll send you back to the nursing home you escaped from-”

You were cut off as he crowded you up against a wall, staring down his nose at you, arms on either side of your head. “You’re kind of mouthy, you know that?”

“Then shut me up.” Your words were rushed, like they escaped before you could think them over properly. He hesitated for only a second, then leaned in to kiss you. 

You bloomed like a flower in spring for him, lips parting in a gasp, chest heaving as color rushed to your cheeks. He felt drunk as his tongue traced your lip, hands coming down to grasp your hips. You parted after only a few moments, breath ragged. 

“I live about a block from here.” Your intentions were not lost on him. 

He took a step back, gesturing for you to lead the way. You finished your nighttime stroll soon after, quickly pulling out your keys to unlock your front door.

Noah pauses at the door. Some of the superstitions were all too true. You turn around to face him, framed by the light of your entryway. 

“Well, come in then. It’s cold.” You urge him, holding the door open. He lets out a breath he didn’t need.

He follows you inside to the warm interior. He’s taking in your interior decoration choices when you pounce, pulling him to your mouth. He happily obliges, deepening the kiss and wrapping an arm around your back. He felt your hands come up to his chest, pushing him away. 

“Did you want to stop-” He began, until you interrupted him. 

“No, but thanks. I’m just trying to get us to a flat surface that isn’t my hardwood floors.” You gave him a sly smile, taking him by the hand and tugging him through the house. 

His eyes could see in pitch black, but he was still thoroughly impressed by how you could navigate in the dim light. You must have lived here for a while.

You flung open a door with ease, still pulling him behind you. He could see the bed as you shoved him onto it, crawling on top of him. He was grinning as you leaned in to kiss him again-

Then you stopped. 

He suddenly realized, not reacting quickly enough as you scrambled off him and flipped on the lights.

“Your teeth-” You began, then froze as you took in the sight of him. He already knew what you were seeing. Blood vessels protruding around his eyes. His irises, sclera- blown pitch black. Cold skin even paler than usual. He could feel them now, behind his lips-

Fangs. 

“What the fuck is going on?” You were too calm, given the circumstances, given your words. 

Noah could only imagine the look on his face; Shame, embarrassment, regret. “I’ll go-”

“No no no, nuh-uh. You’re going to stay right there and explain what’s going on or I’ll scream bloody murder and Mr. Joe will come over with his 42 and we’ll have real problems.”

Noah stilled, though probably not for the reason you were wanting. “I’m sorry, did you just threaten to shoot me? I grew teeth, I’m a big scary monster, you can’t just shoot-”

“Yes I can! And I will! I’m crazy! I’m not scared of sexy scary monsters, I’m from backwoods Louisiana, pal! I’ve been hunting! I-”

“You think I’m sexy?” Noah could feel his eyes returning to normal as he grinned at you.

“Shut up.” Your voice cracked, betraying you.

Noah stood up, cocking his head to the side. His fangs were retracting now, disappearing from view. He gave you a long look. 

You looked pissed, which was new. He was more accustomed to fear, knew how to respond to it, soothe it. You had a glint in your eye that looked different from just anger, almost like-

Betrayal. The earth whispered to him. 

He took a deep breath. He could still smell arousal on you. “I’m sorry, this wasn’t… how I wanted this to go.”

“Then how did you want it to go?” You threw back at him. 

“I- I don’t know! I thought we could hook up and then I’d leave when you fell asleep and I’d find some rando on the way home and-” He stopped short, unsure of how to continue.

“And what?” You prodded, sounding fearful for the first time that evening. Good. You should be scared. He was a monster- an old one. For all you knew he ate virgins and burned down villages. 

He looked down, unable to meet your eyes. “And… drink their blood.”

You exhaled, long. “You kill people to eat?”

His neck snapped up at you. “No, no! Oh my god, no. Just a nibble and I’m on my way-” He stopped at the giggle you let out. “Excuse me?”

“It’s just,” You straightened your face. “You eat people and refer to it as a ‘nibble?’”

“I don’t eat people.” He deadpanned, giving you a look. 

“You just drink their blood.”

“Right.”

You both stared at each other for a long moment. 

“So why-” You began.

Noah motioned for you to continue. 

You blinked. “Why the fangs, then? If you weren’t going to… y’know.” You averted your gaze.

A movement Noah quickly mirrored. “Oh, um. It’s like- an arousal thing. Pretty girl kisses me, fangs pop out.”

You were looking at him again. “You think I’m pretty?”

He met your eyes. “Yeah. Prettiest thing I’ve seen so far, and I’ve been around for a while.”

You took a slow step towards him. “How often do you eat?”

“Um, once a week, if it’s good. Maybe twice if it’s not.” He responded automatically, trying not to think about how bizarre this conversation was.

Your head tilted slightly. Another step. “How long has it been? Since you’ve… fed?”

He was watching you carefully now. Then, very quietly, he said “Two weeks.”

Something like concern flooded your eyes, and you almost winced at him. “That’s a long time to be hungry.”

He could see your jugular on your neck, pulsating with life. He said nothing in response. 

You took another step. “Would it help if you… fed on me?”

He looked at you sharply, processing your words in seconds. “No.”

“Why not?” You countered, cocking a brow.

Why not? The earth whispered at him again, voice a caress in his ear. He could smell you- Alive, fresh and-

Fertile. The familiar voice supplied. He fought the urge to roll his eyes. I’m not going to tell her she smells fertile, he retorted. 

“You can’t think of a good reason.” You assumed, staring almost directly into his silence. 

“I could hurt you.” He supplied helplessly.

“And that’s worse than hurting someone else?” 

He tried again. “No- it’s not, but-” A deep breath, “I can’t stand the thought of hurting you.”

You placed a hand on his arm, too warm and too close. “Then I’ll just hurt you back.” You were so close to him, when did you get this close- “You look awfully hungry, Noah.” You murmured, looking up at him through your lashes.

It was impossible for him to misread your body language as his hands came up to grip your hips, tugging you closer to him. He could feel your nipples hardening where your bodies met. 

“You can tell me to stop, okay? Whenever you want, just say the word and we’ll stop.” He was panting now, salivating in anticipation as his canines slid back out. 

You nodded. “I’ll let you know if anything changes.” Then you kissed him again, sliding your tongue over his fangs in a move that made him outright moan into your mouth. He scooped you up in what was obviously a feat of superhuman strength, chucking you onto the bed. 

He made quick work of your clothes, pulling your shirt over your head in a swift movement that had him pausing to stare. “Blessed be to the old gods and the new.” He breathed, taking in your pert nipples, breasts swaying at his hasty movements. He leaned in, running his tongue from your sternum, up through your breasts, stopping only at your neck. “Do you taste as good as you look, love?”

Your cheeks reddened. “Let’s hope so.” 

He grinned, a wicked, awful thing, tugging on your pants until they slid off, leaving you in just your underwear. “Wanna see a trick?” 

You did not want to see a trick, you decided as your body betrayed you and nodded anyway. 

He came down to eye-level with your mound, slowly and carefully hooking a single fang on the fabric, sliding it directly through your panties until they were completely torn open. 

You gaped, unable to form words. 

“Sorry, those were cute. I’ll make it up to you.” Noah promised as he spread your legs open for him. 

You felt exposed, vulnerable. Your entire body went red as he watched you. He ran a finger up your slit, making your entire body shudder. “Oh? Baby likes that?”

You nodded, blinking rapidly. Noah swatted your inner thigh, not enough to hurt, but enough to get your attention. “Use your words.”

Your cheeks grew even pinker. “Y-yes, I liked it.”

He leaned down, caging you in. “Want me to fuck you?” 

“Please.” You whispered. His eyes went pitch black again. 

“Good girl, already knows to beg.” He backed off of you, tugging off his turtleneck sweater, revealing a fully tattooed torso. Your mouth went dry at the sight. “Again.” He demanded.

“Please.” You obeyed, still barely above a whisper. 

“Prettier.” He demanded again, unbuckling his pants.

“P-please, Noah, please-”

“Almost there.” His pants hit the floor, revealing a pair of equally as inked legs.

“Please, I’ll be so good, Noah, please, let me be good-”

“That’s a good girl, good job. C’mere.” He sat back down on the bed, the outline of his cock clearly visible in his briefs. You wanted to feel, to taste.

You obliged his command, crawling over to straddle his lap. 

“Here’s how this is gonna go, pretty thing.” He began, sliding a finger inside of you as he did so. You gasped, latching onto his shoulder for support. “I’m going to get you nice and loose, then you’re going to ride me, like this. Understand?”

“Yes sir.” You stammered as he added another finger. 

“Ooh, nice manners.” He praised, dropped a kiss to your jaw. You shivered at his touch. “When you feel like you’re close, you’re going to tell me, and then I’m going to bite right-” he rubbed a small line on the side of your neck- “Here. Does that sound okay?”

You nodded, then remembered to say “Yes, yes, sounds wonderful, sounds amazing, Noah fuck me please-”

He chuckled quietly, lifting you up ever so slightly to align himself where he had pulled down is briefs. “You ready?”

“Noah I swear to whatever gods, old and new- fuck.” Your rampage broke off into a moan as he slid himself into you. His thrusts were short at first, letting you adjust, until you finally sank all the way down. 

You were panting when you finally bottomed out. “Big- ‘S so big.” You whined, clenching and unclenching on him involuntarily.

Noah’s breaths were equally as ragged. His hands had come to rest on your hips, thumbs rubbing soothing circles on them. “Whenever you’re ready.” He placed another kiss on your forehead. 

You waited another few seconds, then pulled up experimentally. The drag of him inside you had a long moan escaping your throat. You dropped down, gasping, rising up again. You repeated this until you were riding him in earnest, moans and gasps escaping you both. 

You didn’t know how Noah was managing to hit that bundle of nerves inside of you every time you sank down, but he was. You draped your arms on his shoulders, leaning in to kiss him deeply, fangs tugging on your lip ever so slightly. “You look so good riding my cock baby, look so good with a big cock in you, like you were made for this-” Noah’s profane train of thought continued on until it was white noise in your ears. You registered that your thighs were shaking from the effort, but you couldn’t stop, not when you were so close-

“Close.” You panted. “Fuck, Noah, I’m so close, so close-”

He pulled your hair to the side quickly, teeth lining up with your throat.

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum-” 

The world went white as Noah sank his fangs into your throat and you came, release squirting all over the both of you as your body shook. 

You panted as he sucked at your throat, eyes fluttering shut. One of his hands was rubbing at your back, the other snaked around your waist. You stayed like that for a few minutes more, until you almost felt light-headed and he released you with a soft “pop.” 

You blinked at him sleepily as he laid you down against your pillow. He stood up, tugging up his boxers and turning to walk away. “Are you leaving?” You slurred, sounding sad even to yourself.

You could hear his little laugh. “No, I’m getting you a snack and some water. I know I’m dreamy, but I can’t have the ladies passing out on me.”

You rolled your eyes as he disappeared, faint clattering alerting you of when he found the kitchen. 

When he returned, you were more alert, taking the water and gulping it down. You took a second to look at him. 

He was beautiful before, but now- wow.

His hair was silky, skin still pale but not so lifeless. His eyes were richly dark, amusement seeming to dance in them. “Y’know,” You began, “You’re really pretty when you’re not starving to death.”

If he could have blushed, he might have. “Back at you.” Was his response, handing you crackers.

You nibbled on them while he went about dressing himself. “You’re not staying?” You did your best to not sound disappointed. 

Noah shot you a smile. “Sadly, no. I have to get back to my hiding hole before the sun comes up.”

You nodded, looking down. “Will I get to see you again?”

“I have a feeling you’ll be seeing entirely too much of me.” Noah responded, sounding amused. 

“What makes you say that?” You questioned, confusion written on your face. 

“Because you broke the cardinal sin of running around with a vampire.” Noah grinned, looking devious. “You invited me in.”

[fungus-no69]

hope lovecraft is rolling in his grave as I write this. I hope more people write about eldritch horrors being gay and shit. lovecraftian gay sex… (i do not write smut)

Context: it is a beautiful day in rapechestershire and you are a horrible monstrosity

Content: Body horror I guess, reader is a little petty (deserved), dol typical bullying, brief and non graphic gore in Kylar’s, mentioned animal death in Remy’s (you are Eating The Cows), some spoilers for Ivory Wraith’s lore

Remembering to oxidise your body is a burden, making your heart beat is a chore, remembering to move the rest of your vessel with your expressions is tiring. What do animals even need these rigid pieces of flesh for?

…though you quickly realised the value of muscles when your meat began to droop around your faux bones which is something you’re fairly certain does not happen to mortals.

Of course, you can’t maintain a full rest while above water in this fashion. You’ve come to learn that humans do not particularly enjoy a mass of greasy limbs, mottled flesh and gunky mucus spread on the floor. 'Sleeping' is nice though, as limited as your opportunities are. Humans are fickle creatures and that also applies to their sleeping habits.

Nonetheless. You need to practise your human-form-making skills. And what better way to learn about appearing more human than to attend the industry of learning itself?

Whitney:

Why this blonde mortal took an interest in you? You're not sure.

One day they were there and they never left

They’re always poking at your vessel. Rude…

Thanks to them and their lackeys you had to learn how to fake falling over when punched because apparently it’s strange to just stand there and take a hit without flinching.

They know somethings wrong with you but they can’t put their finger on it, this leads to even more bullying

Most of their harassment is about how you look and act apart from the straight up sexual assault.

They once saw you slip up on your transformation because it was a particularly irritating day and you briefly reintroduced your habit of scaring off others by posturing.

Not your finest moment, I say. They passed out because your mutilated structure was too much for their poor human mind to handle.

Thankfully you can help them forget the incident or write it off as some weird drug induced hallucination. (by distracting them with something inconvenient when they wake up. Like an ice cube in their mouth. Or a cut to their gums.)

You can’t let something like that happen again

Sydney:

You don't know why they're looking at you weirdly. You have the correct amount of teeth this time. You checked.

They help you out when people ask you stupid questions like 'are you a ventriloquist?' 'how can you bend that far?' and 'hey where'd your elbows go?'

It’s always awkward to dismiss yourself during those encounters, considering your ‘schoolmates’ don’t tend to let things go and are rather fixated on following their more malicious instincts towards you than letting you leave. So Sydney’s help is appreciated.

You leave little gifts for them in the library. A book you found in the lake and dried, the foot of a rabbit (humans find that lucky right?), little shiny objects you discover while walking around.

You’re far from weak or incapable but Sydney’s interventions make keeping up the act more bearable.

Over time they find that they become enamoured with you and that’s terrifying to them. One, because they’ve never felt like this before and two, Jordan seems to disapprove of you in some way? They don’t explain why but they warn Sydney about you. Which raises some issues which you don't completely understand for all of your infinite (old) wisdom.

As they become more corrupted, they get a bit more pushy with their ‘subtle’ questions about you- thankfully they never nag for too long.

You fear that Sydney, loyal and kind Sydney, will leave you when they find your true nature. That they will find you repulsive like many before them.

Thus, you will hide your true nature from them. No matter how often they ask or the fact that they know something is off- you can never let them confirm those suspicions.

Kylar:

You see the way the shadows loom over this mortal- they are more connected to the other worlds than they realise.

This draws you to them in a way, having someone who is more connected to your home than everyone around you. And them to you, though you suspect this may have happened regardless of your identity.

Kylar is another anomaly in a sea of others who look different but are fundamentally indiscernible. If you were to cut open a human and pry open their ribcage, you would find the same thing in each one. But not yours. And perhaps not Kylar’s.

They seem to feel a strange compulsion to protect you. You’ve seen this type of behaviour with Sydney and maybe Whitney to an extent, but never to the intensity that a knife was procured.

You understand that the utensil is sharp but you're a little bit confused to why the students run away when they see it? Stabbing someone requires strength and you're fairly certain Kylar is not very strong.

Surprisingly, they were the first one to ask about why you speak the way you do. When asked what they meant they told you that you speak in a very formal manner. Your expression must have made a change in some way because they quickly apologise profusely for offending you. It doesn't.

If you sulk about it a little then that's nobody's business other than your own.

Harper:

You get sent to the asylum for your silly behaviour (crimes and general strangeness that does not pass for mentally healthy) and Harper tries to gaslight you "there are no tentacles they aren't real" explain this.

You don’t have a firm grasp on human behaviour yet, especially when it comes to being polite but c'mon. Even you know this guy is a weirdo.

They will inevitably learn about your true nature regardless of how hard you conceal it.

Hypnotism doesn’t work on you, your blood is too dark and thin to resemble a human’s, sometimes you forget to make your heart beat etc.

They’re not as freaked out as you thought they’d be but they do want to run some tests on you

You say no thank you because even if it’s just for ‘personal research’ you don’t want your inhumanity on record (and Harper’s a creep)

They attempt to blackmail you in a sense but you stand strong on your opinion. Who would they tell and even then, who would believe them? And then there’s the fact that there is no human nor invention that can contain or incapacitate you.

You may meet them on your vacation to Remy’s farm, they’re initially confused to see you there but just as easily accept it. As much as they want to understand you- you’re not exactly human, so they don’t expect you to act by the rules of humans.

It would almost be nice if they didn’t finish their little spiel by dragging you to a stage. Stares make your epidermis feel like there’s little bugs underneath it and you feel the urge to peel it off to escape the unpleasant sensation. You don’t, because that would reveal you.

You end your holiday by trashing their office.

Remy:

You originally came across their farm because you were hungry. Remy, of course, noticed the dwindling population of their cows and went to investigate. Lo and behold- they found you.

They don’t know for sure if you’re involved in the missing cows but they suspect you’ve stolen them or something. Not that you ate them.

You allow yourself to be captured, you could annihilate these puny humans if you wanted to but something tells you this place will grant you rest and food.

The fact they stole your clothes was mildly irritating but you can easily get some when you return 'home'. What do humans call it? The five finger discount? You're not sure what having five fingers has to do with saving currency but you appreciate it regardless.

You don’t develop transformations. You lack the biology to do so, but seeing other cattle develop their features tips you off to the fact you’re supposed to be gaining ears and such so you try to replicate them…

The farmhand who opens your stable in the morning almost shits their pants

You don’t try again after that.

Remy is wondering why their cattle are STILL disappearing.

Ivory Wraith:

They are much similar to yourself, tethered to this mortal realm through an object. Though their emotions are a bit more… uncontrollable than yours.

But perhaps that came with being human. Formerly, you suppose. Not that you would know what it’s like to be human.

They know your existence is eternal, will last for much longer than their own given their own circumstances.

Inevitably, they belong to this world and you do not.

Nonetheless you understand each other to a point, with both of you being non human and somewhat incorporeal.

They vaguely recognise you from long ago, a painting or two within the temple depicting a monster. They had never really examined it, being too unsettled to do so.

They also remember that during the schism, they felt the presence of something much larger than themself. They suspect it may be you, though they’re not certain.

No matter, you're here now.

…

It is the first time you have felt desire for something other than rest in centuries.

You have never been one to want. You do not experience emotion as deeply as mortals (or former mortals) do, somehow simultaneously deeper but so shallowly. You do not feel affection, and even if you have, it has surely been so long since then that you have forgotten. And yet…

You think this strange feeling in your fleshy midsection is the closest to love you can get.

[thatztyv]

Since Been

Description:

- Kordei and Oakley high school days

Word Count:

- 1.8k

Kᴏʀᴅᴇɪ Cᴏʀsᴏ

(core-dee-uh core-so)

"Girl if you don't stop looking at that boy", Remi said hitting my leg and making us all laugh.

"KC you still staring at that white boy?", Liyah asked after taking a sip from her water.

"First off he ain't no regular white boy", I said rolling my eyes.

"He's a white boy with an accent", Kass said sarcastically.

"I don't care what y'all say. That boy is fine", I said while opening my juice box.

"I always knew you liked white boys", Remi said while eating her tangerines.

"It's something about them", I said making Liyah laugh.

"Something like what?", she asked.

"I don't know but they make my lil cooter jump", I said almost making Remi scream.

People started looking at us.

"Y'all need to stop being loud", I whispered.

"You one to talk about somebody being loud. Don't act like you wasn't just screaming west side in the hallway as if you Tupac or somebody", Liyah said.

.✿.

"Alright everyone. Today is the day that we've all anticipated for in this class-", Ms. Walker started.

"Graduation today?", someone asked.

"Mane I wish BK", someone else chuckled.

"Well it's not graduation night", Ms. Walker chuckled. "Today we start the baby project. I have already picked partners for everyone. So when I call your name please come to the front."

After forever she finally called my name.

"Kordei Corso and... Oakley Caesar-Su", she said.

I walked up to her desk, along with Oakley.

"Baby name ?", she asked.

I looked at Oakley and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Tiana?", I asked.

"That's fine."

"First T name today", she said as she wrote it down beside our names on a piece of paper. "Take care of her."

She handed me the baby and gave Oakley the baby bag.

"Oh shit", I said when it started moving in my arms.

Ms.Walker arched a brow at me.

"My bad Ms.Walker", I chuckled.

"Okay now that everyone one has a baby", Ms.Walker started as me and Oakley walked to our seats. "You're all free to be single, divorced, or married parents. As long as the baby is cared for and healthy when it's time to turn them in then hey. See you all tomorrow!"

The dismissal bell rung and everyone jumped up, rushing out the class.

.✿.

(It's the next day and they're in the library by the way)

"Who did your hair KC?", Liyah said as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"I did and girl you know better than anyone not to just run your fingers through my hair", I said playfully rolling my eyes.

"Wait Kordei?!", Kass gasped pulling on my jacket collar. "What the hell is this on your neck?"

She pushed my hair behind my shoulder. I just suppressed a smile as I rocked Tiana side to side.

"Girl who been sucking on your neck?", Remi asked.

"Y'all gone make me drop my baby", I chuckled.

"Fuck that baby", Remi said reaching over the table and trying to slap her out of my arms. "Stop beating round the bush bitch."

"Tell us his name and give us the details", Liyah said.

"Well..", I sighed before Oakley approached our table.

"Hey KC, you think I can get Tiana? I'm going to Mr. B's class, and he said he'd give us extra credit if we were taking care of the babies", he said, unaware that Remi, Liyah, and Kass were staring him down.

"Sure", I said with a smile and stood up.

I gently handed her to him.

"Please don't drop her. She will literally scream and won't stop unless Ms. Walker deactivates it", I said reaching down and grabbing the pink baby bag off the floor.

"I won't", he chuckled while I put the bag over his shoulder.

"See you in sixth period", he said but more so asked.

"Yeah, take care of her", I said and squinted my eyes at him.

"Don't worry I will", he chuckled before walking off.

I sat back down and all three of them were staring at me.

"What?", I laughed.

"Was that white boy sucking on yo neck?", Remi asked before crossing her arms.

"Since y'all wanna know so bad", I said and playfully rolled my eyes. "Yes, Oakley was the one who gave me the hickeys."

"Oh my lawd", Kass said falling out of her seat.

"Jesus help us", Liyah said throwing her arms in the air.

"I would rather- I would rather go blind boy", Remi sang while shaking her head.

I laughed at them and rolled my eyes. "Y'all do the most."

"Did you enjoy it?", Kass asked sitting up.

"Yes ma'am I did", I said and nodded my head.

"Oh my lawd", she said again, throwing her arms up and laying back on the floor.

"I hate y'all", I chuckled after they calmed down and Kass got back in her seat.

"So how it all happen?", Remi asked.

"I was just over at his house so we could take care of the baby together...."

"Oakley I need a bottle!", I said as I rocked her side to side as she cried.

"I'm trying, I'm trying", he said and accidentally dropped the top on the floor. "Shit."

"You can't just pull a titty out and let her suck it", he joked as he picked the top up and rinsed it off.

"One, she's not an actual baby and two, ain't no milk in these titties."

He chuckled as he finally walked over to me with the fixed bottle.

"Thanks."

I put the teat in her mouth and she immediately started drinking it.

"God knows I wouldn't be able to handle a real baby", I sighed.

Oakley chuckled as he went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"You spending the night?", he asked drinking his water and leaning against the counter.

I looked up at him and saw he had a smirk on his face.

"Your brothers home? I haven't seen them in a while?", I asked changing the topic.

He chuckled before answering. "Nah, my mom took them to visit our Nana for the week."

"Got the house to yourself for a week? No wonder you asked me over."

"I asked you over so we could take care of Tiana together."

"Mmm", I hummed.

She finished her bottle and I set it on the counter before I started to burp her.

I absentmindedly started humming 'hush little baby' while walking around the kitchen.

"Good girl", I said after she made a burping noise.

"How's your music going?", I asked after handing Tiana over to him.

"It's going great actually", he hummed. "I think it's time for her nap."

We walked upstairs to his room. He laid Tiana down in the middle of his bed.

He sat down in the chair by his desk before I sat on his lap.

He put his hand on my waist, caressing it lightly and locked eyes with me.

"You never answered my question", he started before I put my head in the crook of his neck.

"Fuck", he groaned as I lightly bit his neck.

I brought my head back up and pulled him into a deep kiss.

He slipped his tongue in my mouth making me moan.

"Why you been acting different around me?", he mumbled against my lips after pulling back.

"You be acting like I'm not there", I said making him smack his teeth. "I'd be wrong if I ghosted you though."

"Don't do that....Spend the night KC", he said before pecking my lips.

He kissed along my jaw and down to my neck.

"Mmm", I hummed as he sucked on my sweet spot, making me bite my lip.

I wrapped my arm around him and leaned into him.

"Girl you really let him do that?", Remi asked cutting me off.

"Y'all should see his neck. You'd think I was beating on him. That's why he had his hoodie over his head."

"Bitch", Kass said. "I can't believe you."

"KC did y'all? You know", Liyah said and motioned with her fingers.

"Oh nah", I said making them let out a breath of relief. "We ain't tryna make a real baby."

"Wait I just realized something.. you done been to his house before and ain't tell us?", Liyah said and hit my arm.

"It slipped my mind", I said making them smack their teeth.

"You stare at this boy everyday at lunch but it slip yo mind that you been done spent the night at his house", Remi said. "Woooow."

.✿.

"So today we're not going to be doing anything school work-wise. I'm just going to let you all focus on taking care of your little bundles of joy", Ms. Walker said after everyone sat down.

"You a real one Ms. Walker. Cause I don't think I could handle any more school work today", someone said making all of us agree.

I got up and moved to the back of the class, Oakley joining me soon after.

"This is getting too real. She pooped her diaper three times in Mr. B's class", Oakley chuckled as he sat next to me.

"She threw up on me this morning."

My phone started vibrating in my pocket.

Remi🩷

Y'all bet not be back there kissing 😐

Liyah🩷

I'll come in there and drag that white boy out of that room by his ear 👂🏻🤏🏾

Kassidy🩷

I got my eye on him 🥷🏿

Bet not be no more hickeys on yo neck

Kordei 🩷

Where the hell y'all at?

Kassidy🩷

Look at the door 🙂

I looked up and saw them looking dead at us.

Remi did a head-cutting motion then pointed at Oakley.

"Those your friends?", Oakley asked.

"Unfortunately", I sighed.

"Should I be worried?"

"No....Anyways", I said redirecting my attention to Oakley, ignoring them still standing at the door.

"You coming back to my house tonight?", he asked.

I squinted my eyes at him.

"You know so we both can take care of the baby. We want her to grow up with both of her parents", he said making me chuckle.

"If you just want me to spend the night again just say that."

"Spend the night", he said.

"You asking or telling me?"

"Kordei just spend the night again", he sighed.

"Ok", I chuckled. "Imma swing by my house and grab some clothes before coming over."

.✿.

"Seven years?! Time flies", I chuckled as I walked over to Oakley. "But one thing about it..."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my waist.

"You get finer everyday", I said before pecking his lips.

"You still kissing up on that white boy I see", Remi said as she walked in with Liyah and Kass.

"We be doing more than kissing now", I said, receiving a chuckle from Oakley.

"Just nasty", Kass said shaking her head.

"You know it", I said and winked at her.

[shokujin-art]

Tell us more about your DoL PC! :D

Sorry I took some time to reply this ask — I didn't know what to say for her since it's one of the rare game where I didn't think too deep of my MC and just play the game along with them. Sooo here's what I can say on her:

Rewriting down in case it's not readable on the pic :

Lyra / Succubus------------- Usually adopts a submissive or neutral attitude towards people around her but won't hesitate to be defiant if you get on her nerves. Owns both the S and M traits. Completely unbothered by exibitionism (Managed to turn the swimming class into naturism). Usually kind, there's certain persons that she straight up enjoy humilliating or make sure she'll be the one to have the final say (Leighton, Remy and Bailey) Facts--------------------------

Ended two times at Remy's farm and gave him and his farmers hell. (Weirdly now Remy has the "Looks up to you" status)

Totally flee Eden, the Black wolf and the great Hawk.

Ends up having a good business friendship with Briar.

Really uncomfortable around Harper after the asylum event, managed to have her revenge at Remy's farm though.

When at the farm, sneaks at night to meet up with Wren and destroy him at the cards.

Even if Bailey is a total asshole, she actually does wanna try and please him even if it's always unsuccessful.

Main interactions--------------------

Whitney First Love interest, didn't really like him at first. Was surprised when he claimed her as his girlfriend. Pretended to be it out of curiosity and fell for him in the end.

Sydney Second love interest "Oh this one is cute" World record of corrupting him. Enjoys greatly his new side.

Robin Adores him, protects him. Accidentally kissed him and doesn't have the heart to reject him now.

Kylar Scared of him. Started to like him out of pity after restauring his house.

Avery Crushed on him at first then quickly understood the term of Sugar daddy only please him for the money now.

Alex Loves working at the farm with him. Quite relaxing to be with him, a nicebreak from all the town shit. Ready to fight and beat Remy's ass for him.

[acrowwithakeyboard]

CVF fights and who seems to be able to beat who if caught in friendly fire

Putting a spoiler curtain over so it isn't taking up a huge chunk of screen unless you want to read

Basically what the tins got printed. While I try to rotate for a smaller group, sometimes my LDBs (mostly Ieama) has 8 people trudging along behind. When everyone aggros on a wolf the chances of someone NOT hitting a ally is never zero. There's been enough fights that I can figure who can beat who in a fight, tie with, or otherwise has a fluctuating score going. I’ve compiled more or less how the followers I currently have fare against each other in those fights. Now this is all based off of fights in my game, so if they are better in someone else's, I'll raise a glass for ' 'em!

Val: Spellswords are devastating. Pirates play dirty. Being both means he's not an easy opponent. He can take Redcap and Auri most times (unless Auri is far enough and has a clear shot she can take him out before his spells can reach her, while Redcap is a fast little friend and dodges his spells well). He hasn't fought Remi, though I think its just luck on that part, and it’s fluctuating with Tally and Xelzaz (I figure them to be a strategic lot, along with Nebarra), Gore has beat him down more than he’s won (their fighting lines really make for a scene) and he has yet to start shit with Nebarra, so we don't know yet if he would win or not. I'm thinking he'd lose though.

Auri: A very good archer indeed, she doesn't miss much, and constantly moves and creates distance between her and whoever messes with her. Can take down Nebarra and Redcap (the former usually isn't fast enough to get into close combat, and she has wicked aim when she's mad). She has not been in a fracas with Gore or Remi (by sentiment or luck I'm not sure) while Val, Tally and Xelzaz and can go toe to toe so the win/lose ratio is fluctuating. Generally, she fights the last three as an aid to someone else. Her taunts and fight lines about her eating her enemies hearts might also add a touch of fear into most of her opponents too. (Also, she keeps shooting me but I usually front line enemies, so, well call it an accident)

Gore: Generally, once he's set to beat someone's face clean through their ass he's not stopping, and will shrug off whatever is thrown at him to get the job done. He can and will fuck up Val, Xelzaz, Tally and Redcap if they hit him, (the first two have had wins, but Gore has beaten them more, the latter two... tried at least, but only managed once each) but he will get cut to ribbons if he pisses off Nebarra. He can adapt or overcome different opponents in close combat very well with his chosen weapon, and seems to have different approaches to each opponent. He will not hurt Auri or Remiel though. Not sure if he’s just never gotten aggro’d on those two or vise versa, if there’s a implemented code to keep him from going berserk on em, or he’s uniquely aware Auri will eat him should she kill him and just decided to Not Do That and Remi is, in his words, like a little sister so he wont hurt her no matter what, but he’s yet to fight them.

Remi: She generally gets people with a combo of skill and teamwork, and is pretty resourcful, Scrap helping out is also a given. Has beaten Xelzaz but apologized profusely, almost beat Redcap but stopped herself, and tried Nebarra but it, didn't go well. Most time if she is hit someone jumps in to help (Scrap automatically, but Gore also jumps in, and he can smoke quite a few folks in the party). She hasn't attacked Gore, Auri or Val, as of right now, BUT has had a near 10 minute long knock out drag down fist fight with Tally on a mountain in the Rift that ended in a tie and I’m waiting for round two to see who wins. They've yet to re-instigate the fight since. Scrap helped but she held her own very well without him after he was ejected quite suddenly from the fight.

Tally: He lasts a longer in a fight with people than other combinations, win or defeat. I chalk it up to him being used to close combat, working in and out of groups, and his experience in the Great war. Him and Nebarra are long time contenders and he’s won by both scrape of luck and strategy, has fought Xelzaz well and won more (only recently, not by much though). He got folded by Gore a lot when we first found him, still gets folded on the occasion, and he's only had one win against him. Auri has head shot him more than I can count but ultimately they are fluctuating, and Remi and him have had no winner but the longest fight I’ve ever seen between followers without one or the other falling. Neither were downed and I am waiting for the next one with concern and excitement.

Xelzaz: That Telvanni's stray firebolts have started a lot of fights. But as a good poisoner and a well taught wizard, he's got a good standing with most combatants. He has won some fights (Nebarra if he’s not right next to him immediately, Auri he has surprising good aim on though they are more or less equal) he can contend with Val and Tally for a bit, situational on who loses more, but apologizes to Remi and Redcap if he starts something with them, though he's been downed by Redcap. Gore I think has the drop on him with heavy steel and fast reflexes and the general bullheaded determination that affords pushing through being actively burnt and poisoned by Xel’s spells and weapons, so Xelzaz loses a fair bit more with him.

Redcap: Small body, big determination. He has beaten Gore, once. It was in Bleak Fall and he had 4 spears launched at him before he got close enough to hit Redcap, after which he made short work of the fight. He has had fights with him since but Gore is not an easy fight and gets the win now. Tally is his most recent win, (I got hit in the crossfire in that one), and he has taken Xelzaz down a few times but does stop the fight usually before that, same with Remi, if it happens at all. He’s been skewered by Auri, her aim is pretty damn good despite his small stature and speed, and he does damn well against Nebarra but ultimately loses (Nebarra usually gets him from behind first for some reason). Val can contend and win sometimes but hes small and VERY good at dodging Val's lightning. He also has skewered me and I and pretty sure I have died from a spear and low health combo once, so I’ll give that to him.

Nebarra is a vicious, embittered veteran of the Great war and it shows. Gore is often down in seconds, Remi taken off guard faster than you can say Dwemer, Redcap didn’t know what the Oblivion hit him, pretty sure Val hasn’t fought him only out of some begrudging respect for his skills. Regardless of these wins, him and Xelzaz have an Equal standing score more or less. Auri and Tally though are the closest thing to HR intervention to his not-so-appropriate comments on other races, but even then, those are hard won fights on their side. He's an old soldier doing whatever it takes to survive. This mer does not pull punches.

Finally, Scrap has taken down Gore, Auri, Xelzaz, Val, Redcap and a two of Xelzaz’s flame Atronachs, and they’ve all only fought him once ish to a completion. (the rest were stopped before his intervention) He attempted to aid Remi with her and Tally’s throw down but was blasted off the cliff by a well-placed ice spike. So, technically, Tally has probably the most wins against scrap in the group. But in conjunction with that, Scrap is the best fighter based on ratio of wins vs loses.

Ieama is one who has seen the most of these fights, and mostly let them resolve with a win before intervening. She is of the idea that beating the Oblivion out each other builds character and strengthens relationships. She is also a firm believer of 'talk shit, get hit' in Nebarra's case.

[shadowpeachceo]

Ninjago incorrect quotes I'm having too much fun

Nya: Alright, who’s hogging the Netflix account? I’ve been locked out all week!

Lloyd: Sucks to suck! I’m already on the 8th season of Friends!

Kai: Not me.

Nya: Don’t lie. I know it’s not Jay or Zane.

Kai: It’s not me, really!

Nya: …

Kai: …But it might be Ronin…

Nya: You gave Ronin access to our Netflix account!?!?

Kai: he wanted to watch Orange is the New Black!

Nya: I’m going to kill you.

*The team at Home Depot*

Nya: *pushed in the cacti display while wandering around the garden section*

Jay: *Shitting in the display toilets*

Kai: *Tokyo Drifting one of those flatbed carts down the aisles*

Lloyd: *Stealing paint chips for aesthetic purposes*

Zane: *Just wanted some goddamn lightbulbs and everyone ruined it*

Cole: *In the car sleeping*

*The team is asked what they would do with 5 children with only 3 chairs.*

Cole: Get two more chairs!

Nya: They can get their own chairs.

Jay: Make them fight for it.

Zane: You only need one chair to beat them all with.

Lloyd: I would never be near children.

Kai: Kill two.

Zane: A mouse!

Kai, pulling out a knife: Go back to where you came from or I'll stab you.

Nya, pulling out a frying pan: It'll make a nice meal!

Lloyd, giving the mouse cheese: You deserve a treat, little guy.

Cole, gasping: It's Ratatouille!

Jay: His name is Remi, dummy.

Zane: ...I was going to say to just trap it and throw it out the window... what is wrong with you people.

Lloyd: So, did everyone learn their lesson?

Jay: No.

Kai: I did not.

Cole: I may have actually forgotten one.

Nya: Also no.

Lloyd: Oh good, neither did I.

Zane: *Exhausted sigh*

Zane: We’re kind of missing something guys.

Kai: Cohesion?

Lloyd: Teamwork?

Nya: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Cole: And Jay is not here.

Kai: Oh, and that, yeah.

Zane: Stressed.

Cole: Depressed.

Lloyd: Possessed.

Nya: Obsessed.

Jay: Impressed.

Kai: Chicken breast.

Everyone: ...What?

Kai: I just wanted to join in.

Zane: You know, when Nya comes over, Jay can get a little…

Cole: Psycho?

Kai: Scary?

Lloyd: Drunk?

Zane: All three.

Before Lloyd joins the team

Jay: The floor is lava!

Cole: *helps Zane onto the counter*

Nya: *kicks Kai off the sofa*

Kai: *lays on the floor*

Jay: ...Are you okay?

Kai: No.

Jay: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Nya: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging.

Lloyd: Waking up in the morning.

Cole: Waking up.

Kai: Waking up in the morning...

Kai: And seeing Zane.

Zane: Hey! Rude!!

Squad reactions to being called straight:

Kai: The fuck, no I'm not.

Nya: Excuse the hell out of you?

Zane: Ding dong, you are wrong!

Lloyd: Who told you that? And why did they lie?

Jay: Rude.

Cole: *punches the person*

Jay: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?

Zane: I accidentally fell down.

Cole: KAI PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay THEIR part of our rent!

Nya: Zane bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.

Lloyd: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Nya.

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*

Nya: I will not let you down.

Zane: Sounds fun.

Cole: K.

Kai: No, I'm fucking not.

Jay: Do I have to be?

Lloyd: Please god, I am so tired.

*the team at mega monster amusement park, in the teacups*

Jay, Cole, and Zane: *spinning a little and talking*

Nya, Lloyd, and Kai: *flying past them, spinning as fast as they can, screaming*

Cole: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Kai: Theft.

Nya: Disturbing the peace.

Jay: Aggravated assault.

Zane: Arson.

Lloyd: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Nya: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Zane: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Cole: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Lloyd: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.

Kai: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Jay: Mental stability, my old friend!

Nya: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Cole to Jay, who’s about to get married to Nya: Today, two families are becoming one.

Zane, in an ominous voice: Two families enter, one family leaves.

Kai: That sounds so threatening…

Nya: The Wedding Games…

Lloyd: May the bouquet toss be ever in your favor.

Jay: Beautiful.

Cole: Fuck all of you!

Lloyd: *dies*

Cole: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!

Zane: Bullshit. One month.

Nya: Nah, half a month.

Jay, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LLOYD JUST DIED!

Kai, scratching chin in thought: One week.

Nya: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.

Kid Lloyd: You hang out with Kai, Cole, Zane, and Jay.

Kid Lloyd: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

Zane: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip!

Jay: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill!

Cole: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out!

Kai: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times!

Nya: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up!

Lloyd: Throw a brick at someone to kill them.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Nya: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Lloyd: ...I did. I broke it.

Nya: No. No you didn't. Kai?

Kai: Don't look at me. Look at Zane.

Zane: What?! I didn't break it.

Kai: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Zane: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Kai: Suspicious.

Zane: No, it's not!

Cole: If it matters, probably not, but Jay was the last one to use it.

Jay: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Cole: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Jay: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Cole!

Lloyd: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Nya.

Nya: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Cole: Nya... Kai's been awfully quiet.

Kai: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Nya, talking to Sensei Wu and Sensei Garmadon: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Nya: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Nya:

Nya: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*the team in the bad timeline*

Cole: So what have you been up to recently?

Nya: Leading a revolution with Zane.

Cole: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Nya: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Cole: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Jay?

Nya: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Lloyd?

Cole: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Kai?

Nya: Cult leader.

Cole: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Zane: Doctor = $140,000 a year, Furry artist on patreon = $160,000 a year.

Lloyd: I think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh.

Zane: Sorry for the inaccuracies Doctor Yiff.

Lloyd: No matter how I respond I don’t look well, well played. I walked into that.

Nya: Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

Zane: Did you legitimately just tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in an university to give you a lung transplant?

Jay: Doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them.

Zane: You will die in 7 days.

Kai: It took doctors 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking it for attention while a furry artist I knew said “Sounds like Crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right.

Kai: Besides I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I?

Jay: You could if you weren’t a fucking coward.

Cole: This was like 50 consecutive punches to the face, what the fuck went on here.

Jay: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier.

Jay: Violently practices.

Zane: Violently studies.

Nya: Violently sleeps.

Kai: Violently shoots pictures.

Cole: Violently boxes.

Lloyd: Violently murders people.

Nya: Violently worries about the previous statement.

[pip-n-chips]

my misgendering kink has been going brrrr lately so here's some thoughts that involve it

How some DoL characters would react to PC coming out as trans

(CW/TW for transphobia for most of these! these guys are not nice)

Avery is against it if you're anything less than passing in public. They will make a point to make you appear as your birth gender as much as possible (i.e. controlling your clothing). What would it say about them and their reputation if word gets out that they're dating a tr***y?

Harper acts supportive when you come out to them during one of your friday therapy sessions, and is relatively indifferent for the most part, but they start to make comments asking if you're sure? Maybe this is stemming from something else? But it doesn't escalate until the asylum where they gaslight you into questioning if you really are trans, maybe you're making it up for attention. Their whole thing is getting you to accept your ""real"" self and make a point to misgender you very often. Constant gaslighting and hypnosis molds you into how they want and their goal is to get you to forget about this silly little phase <3 (extra note: if they find out you're taking hormones, they'll make sure the pharmacy refuses to sell it to you anymore for some bullshit reason)

Bailey is, well,, you might as well have just not told Bailey at all because they couldn't give any less of a shit. As long as you use it to your advantage and get them money, they won't bother you about it

Briar is fine with it, there's plenty of people into shit like that. They are similar to Bailey, in the sense that all they'd care about is if it gets you money. They'd see it as an opportunity and set up special shows, using all the fetish names for it they can while advertising

Eden is EXTREMELY against it. You're their wife/husband and nothing will change that, your gender is your genitalia when it comes to them. If you try to correct them, they will ignore you. If you push, they will have no hesitation beating the ideas out of you. (I can also imagine them putting you in the cage as an attempt to get rid of the ideas Society put into your mind). At higher love they might try to gender you correctly, but they still grumble about how it's Wrong

Kylar is probably supportive unless it means they find out that you guys have the same genitals, then you're in deep shit. They have a meltdown because now y'all can't make the babies they've always dreamed of. How could you trick them >:((( I feel like they'd have to grow on it though because you're still you, and that's all they could ask for (and if the opposite is true and they learn you guys can make babies,,, then prepare to fuck like rabbits because Kylar is not gonna waste a single second more)

Pure!Sydney thinks it's a sin and that you should spend more time at the temple, tries to guilt you with religion and has troubling thoughts of their own about being friends with/dating someone like you. Corrupted!Sydney would be full-on supportive, I'd think

Robin is also full-on supportive, and maybe your open-ness to them would help them come to some conclusions about themself

Whitney is Whitney. Telling them is a mistake because you've just given them a new thing to bully you about. If they gender you correctly, they do it in a mocking tone. Personally they don't really care though, as long as you're still their slut

Leighton doesn't misgender you, but they fetishize the shit out of you. Also blackmail blackmail blackmail (that's all I have to say for them tbh lmao)

Remy would scoff, but not think much of it. What silly ideas, you're just a cow, cows can't be trans. Go eat some grass.

[kieraelieson]

"One Emo Latte, with Extra Soulmates"

Chapter Four

Roll the Poll fic 1: Janus, Virgil, and Remy in a triad. In a Hurt/Comfort fic with a Soulmates universe and the prompt ‘housing’. AO3

Content warning for kidnapping, quite a bit of cursing, as well as societal and specific poly-phobia.

Janus wasn’t sure how this had happened. But he’d held the man while he cried, and now he had another damp cloth, wiping his face. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m like this. I guess I just haven’t slept and…” the man trailed off, hugging one of Janus’s throw pillows to his stomach. 

“Would you like me to take you home?” Janus asked. He hadn’t thought it through. But he didn’t regret it either. Regardless of what he chose to do next, this man didn’t deserve to be held captive and scared. 

The man’s face cycled from surprise back to teary. “I don’t have one anymore.” 

Janus pressed his lips together. Well, he had seen the man forcefully kicked out. 

“You’re welcome to stay if you like. As a guest. I won’t force you. Or if there’s somewhere you’d like me to take you?” 

The man’s face scrunched up, clearly caught between gratitude and suspicion. “Why would you do that?” 

Janus gave him a small smile and a shrug. “You’re like me. If I’m going to fight for us, how could I then hurt one of us?” 

“But—but I still saw your weird deal. A-and I can recognize you. I could tell the cops and— you definitely shouldn’t just let me go.” 

Janus’s smile became wry. “I’ll have to take the chance that you won’t.” 

The man just looked disbelieving. 

Janus set down his cloth. “I won’t ask that we start over. I’ve already done more than I expect to be forgiven for. But perhaps we could try introductions? My name is Janus.” 

Despite his disbelief, after a moment the man held out a hand. “Virgil.” 

Janus shook it gently. “I’m glad to make your acquaintance, Virgil. Would you honor me by being my guest? If you haven’t slept, there’s a bed you’re welcome to use.” 

Virgil rubbed his eyes with his sleeves. “It’s not fair to kidnap someone and then be all nice. Giving off real mixed signals.”

Janus couldn’t help chuckling. “I should not have kidnapped you. I’m truly sorry.” 

Virgil shrugged. “You had to. Someone saw you doing illegal shit. This is the weird part.” 

Janus kept chuckling, something traitorous in his chest doing little flips. “I’m well aware.”

Virgil blinked, slowly, and Janus could see as tiredness began beating his inhibitions. 

“I think… yeah. I might take you up on the bed. Would you…” The spark of fear returned to his eyes for a moment. “Would you put the gun somewhere? Out of reach.” 

Janus nodded solemnly. At some point, he would explain to Virgil that this particular gun was incapable of shooting, but this didn’t seem like the time. 

Janus stood, offering a hand to help Virgil up. Virgil didn’t take his hand, but did follow as Janus directed him to the bedroom. Janus left him alone and went back to work, but he was unable to get him out of his mind. 

••^*^••

Virgil curled up on the bed, feeling awkward about laying in someone else’s bedroom. The exhaustion was tugging at him far more than the awkwardness, however, and he was slowly relaxing. 

His mind was still full of swirling emotions, but fear had retreated to one of the smallest. The man- Janus, was definitely still doing illegal shit, but he was trying to help people with multiple soulmates. He may have kidnapped Virgil, but looking back, about the worst thing he actually did to him was to tie him up with tape and threaten him with a gun. 

Virgil frowned. Those were definitely bad things. So why was his brain trying to say they paled in comparison to what he’d said? Actions were definitely more telling than words. 

But those words. 

You deserve to meet your soulmates. 

You deserve to get to love them. To be near them.

They’d pierced somewhere deep within Virgil, letting light and air in, allowing him to want. And now he couldn’t stop himself from wanting. 

He felt he might owe Janus something deeper and more important than the kidnapping. 

And his mental image of Janus had shifted from the terrifying stranger in an odd hat, and now was all warm chest and soft words. And acceptance. 

They were alike. They both had multiple soulmates. Virgil had never met anyone else with multiple soulmates, at least not knowingly. Having his deepest secret not only known, but shared. It screwed up his self-protective instincts, already putting Janus as part of Us, when he should undeniably be a Them. 

Virgil’s brain flitted over the idea of helping Janus, and he tried desperately to cut off that possibility entirely. He was not about to get himself into criminal business just because a handsome man was just like him and trying to help and… oh fuck he was genuinely considering it. 

Virgil buried his face in the nearest pillow. This was idiotic. This was death wish levels of stupid. He should not be considering this!! He’d just been kidnapped by the man for fuck’s sake! 

••^*^••

It had been nearly an hour of Remy trying to figure out how to use a phone number to track a person. He’d stumbled across more information about Virgil than the anxious man would ever be comfortable knowing could be found on the internet, but no way of tracking where his phone was at the moment. 

And still the minutes kept trickling by. 

There were no new messages. Remy kept his sleeve rolled up, and checked it every few minutes just in case, but nothing. 

He was getting more and more concerned, both for his unknown soulmate, and for Virgil. 

He had one more option, either to help him, or to convince him that everything would be fine. Janus. 

Janus owed him anyway. 

And if he was in the cafe wanting an alibi the night before, he was almost sure to be holed up in his house ignoring all attempts to contact him. So Remy would have to go to him. 

That decided, Remy grabbed one of his emergency cold coffees from the fridge and got into his car. 

Janus’s house was maybe 20 minutes away. Remy kept his sleeve pulled high, glancing away from the road on occasion in case of further messages. 

He unlocks Janus’s door without bothering to knock first. 

“Jay! Gotta problem here.” 

Janus comes quickly around the corner, concern and alarm plain on his face. “What happened? Are you alright?” 

Remy gestures to his arm. “I am, but apparently my soulmate isn’t, and it’s got some weird crazy thing to do with my friend Virgil, and you’d better have some cool illegal way to track a bitch, cause I am not used to being a worrier and I hate it!”

Janus blinked several times at the barrage of words. Remy cursed at his slow uptake. “Come on, Jay! Open your little bag of tricks and help me out here.” 

“Virgil?” Janus asked, apparently painfully slow today. 

Remy groaned loudly. “Yes. I’ve told you about him before. And apparently I’ve got a soulmate near him, cause I was sent his number and a message for help.” 

Janus takes his hand, frowning down at his arm, bare of everything other than what he’d written himself. 

There’s the sound of a door from further in the house, and Remy has only a moment to wonder who Janus has over when a very familiar figure comes around the corner. 

“Remy?” Virgil asks, and then when he sees him, “Remy!” 

Virgil unexpectedly runs forward and grips Remy around the waist. They hadn’t really… hugged before. So it’s strange, but Remy’s concern being suddenly relieved at seeing Virgil unhurt outweighs that. He wraps a protective arm around Virgil. 

“Oh hell, nah. There’s some major explaining to do.” Seeing Janus looking guilty, Remy jabs a finger at him, sloshing the remainder of his drink inside the cup. “You. Talk. Now.”

Janus abruptly looks even more guilty. 

Virgil suddenly gasped, grabbing at Remy’s arm and staring. Before Remy can explain about his soulmate’s messages, Virgil is shoving his own sleeve up, holding it close to compare. 

Remy stared with wide eyes. It was Virgil. Virgil was his soulmate. One of them, anyway. 

“Oh, you lied to me,” he breathed out, not genuinely upset. He understood lying about multiple soulmates. He’d done the same himself many times. 

Suddenly, several things clicked together in his head, and he rounded on Janus. “What the hell did you do?!” 

Janus raised both hands. “There’s a whole story to it, Rem—“

Remy stepped forward, backing Janus against a wall, using his extra few inches to loom over him. “Better start telling then.”

“I’m fine… now,” Virgil said, sounding almost defensive of Janus. 

Remy’s eyebrows shot up. There was some Tea here. And he was Going to be told All of it. 

After a full explanation, Remy stood above Janus, his arms crossed. Janus looked supremely guilty, as he Was. 

Remy grabbed his arm, shoving the sleeve up. As he now expected, his scrawl was on Janus’s wrist as well. 

“I told you we should check if we were soulmates!” He exclaimed. 

Janus just stared with wide eyes, awe taking over his expression. He reached out softly to Virgil, comparing his arm to his as well. 

Virgil was just looking back and forth between the two of them with shock and wonder. 

“Alright babes,” Remy said authoritatively. “This is how it’s gonna go. You,” he pointed at Janus. “Are going to pull out your first aid kit and we’ll check Virgil over for any hurt he got from that asshole he used to call a roommate. Then you’re going to give us your bedroom for a nap, and treat us both to a good lunch when we wake up from a nap. After that, and only after, will we start to consider forgiving you.” 

Janus grimaced, but to his credit, he knew when it wasn’t the time to argue. 

“You,” he turned on Virgil. “Are going to show us everywhere that hurts. Once I’m convinced that you’re properly ok, then it’s nap time. I’ll let you make your own decisions on Janus after. As far as I’m concerned, he’s sleeping on the couch tonight and owes me about a hundred coffees.” 

Janus was starting to look genuinely dejected, and Remy grabbed his collar, pulling him in for a deep kiss. 

“Tonight we talk about being soulmates,” he said more gently. “And how we want to play that.” 

Virgil grabbed Remy’s hand in one of his, and Janus’s with the other. His eyes were shining. He didn’t say anything, but he squeezed both their hands tightly. 

Well! Discovering two of his favorite people were his soulmates. Not a bad day. 

[runabout-river]

I saw a video these days about jujutsu and I saw something that I never realized that Megumi is not a good person because he is willing to do anything for his sister, which makes him selfish and that he only saves those who he "deems" to be a good person and who qualify as a good person for him. his morality is very black and white just like geto. There's a line from him that is very realistic, especially today in the manga, that sorcerers are not heroes, an example saturo gojo.

I'd say that Megumi's ethics and morality had a little bit of a change in his life mainly: before Tsumiki fell into a coma, after she fell into a coma and during the Culling Games when Megumi decided to kill people to save Tsumiki.

Before Tsumiki became Kenjaku's victim, Megumi was seen beating up bullies. He did that because the bullies tormented others and deserved to be tormented back according to him. Yuji did the same but his reasonings seemed more altruistic than Megumi's who basically did what his father taught him ages ago.

At the detention center, he said that bad people shouldn't be saved and that only good people like Tsumiki should. That's black and white thinking but Yuji points out that Megumi doesn't even adhere to that philosophy because he saved Yuji even though he had the potential to cause great harm (like in Shibuya). Later Megumi does as Yuji wanted to do and brings back the name tag of one of the dead inmates to his mother.

So yeah, Megumi picks and chooses who he deems worthy of saving and as long as you are in the general vicinity of Tsumiki personality wise (like Yuji) you're good by him even though you also should be on his shit list (like Yuji).

You could say that from a hero's perspective that that's not fair but that's how Megumi chooses to act. He embodies everything he knows a true sorcerer to be in the Jujutsu Society including them not being heroes.

He resembles Sukuna in that respect where he selfishly decides on what and who is worthy of protection or formulated differently, who is worthy to live. Megumi's focus here isn't on his own hedonistic desires though like with Sukuna. His focus are people like Tsumiki and Yuji who he deems the most worthy of his protection and loyalty (but some general 'good things for humanity' isn't missing with him either.)

That's why he didn't kill Remi after killing Reggie. Heavily injured, he sought her out to kill her for deceiving him but because Tsumiki's soul told him not to he stopped that immediately.

[worldseer]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Oh lord, top ten of ALL media I loved? Fuckin' hell. Alright, just to cheat, I'm choosing to do this in no particular order and sticking to one media because I frankly do not have the capacity to process top favorites all at once. TOP TEN OF MARVEL COMICS/MCU IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier - Heavily relate to his issues, I've been told I look like him, and overall I love his character. Been obsessed with his character for years now, and I want nothing more than for him to be happy.

Moon Knight/Mark Spector/Steven Grant/Jake Lockley - Steven Grant is heavily relatable to me, and Moon Knight in general has always been interesting to me. I learned about the character before the show itself, and even his design itself draws me in. I'm a sucker when his cape makes the crescent shape too.

Ghost Rider - Nonspecific simply because all the Ghost Riders I know are badasses. If I had to be a hero/have the powers of any Marvel character, I'm choosing this one. Love the idea of the character, and wish it gets a good adaptation for film/tv show soon

Nightcrawler/Kurt Wagner - Gender Envy. Also heavily relate to him because of similar issues. Consistently struggle if I want to be him or be with him.

Gambit/Remy LeBeau - I love a sarcastic man with a bit of fruitiness, and a smug ass face. Also his powers are interesting as well, and he's frankly a genius for using playing cards as his usual weapon (mass produced and several on hand).

Spider-Man - Also nonspecific, since I grew up on watching Spider-Man cartoons so I love Peter Parker, but also after ATSV I've gained an interest in Miguel O'Hara as well. Peter in the comics always has my heart however, some of the lines he has in them are iconic as hell.

Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto - He's a villain I can't ever hate, and probably has the second power I'd choose if I had to choose a power from a Marvel character. I too would cause mass destruction if it meant that me and people like me would stop fucking yknow- being killed and persecuted. And bro is (usually) old as fuck as he does this, still kicking ass.

Matt Murdock/Daredevil - Once again, relate due to similar issues. Also what's more funny than a sarcastic lawyer going out to beat the shit out of criminals every night? Plus it's a bit unfair that he looks hot beat up. . . iykyk.

Wade Wilson/Deadpool - Self explanatory.

Loki Laufeyson - Similar thing to Bucky and Kurt: obsessed with character for years and a part of me wants to be them. Might have kickstarted my discovery into being nonbinary honestly now that I think about it. . .

[hatkuu]

hiiii hope ur doing well!!! just curious 2 kno if u have any dol characters u don’t like!? this is ur excuse to shit talk abt them cuz me personally i don’t fw leighton and remy!

- 🎀

okay im putting this utc BUT im ranting about my dislike for: REMY, BAILEY and MORGAN!

hhhhmmmmm. 🎀.... im a bit of a remy DESPISER!! because. listen. i'm trying to make a living out here on danube street!!! the last thing i need is to be snatched into a moving van and taken to a FArm??? where i am turned into a COW??? yeah nah. im a remy hater sorry remy fans. just. the apples and the hand licking?? only kylar gets to feed me in the basement!! but yes 🎀 i totally agree on not liking remy bc as well as just beating the shit out of me for being defiant, remy tattoos ALL OVER ME WHICJ IS SOOO FUCKKN EXPENSIVE TO REMove?! crying. hate remy. will most likely neevr like remy. ever.

i think. i think this is contreversial but. i dont like bailey... me personally, i think fucking my caretaker is a bit eeee.... (but then again im willingly getting held at knife point by a delusional little cutie sooo. shows how 'valid' my opinion is) and like, sometimes bailey is nice but. they just remind me of shane from stardew valley too much (bc bailey is MEAN) and i do not like shane from sdv.... (i picture bailey as shane FIGHT ME.) yeah...

then i just. dont like the creepy dude in the sewers. morgan... yeah no... i was fighting slimes and tentacles and lizard people THEN i had this mfer call me their kid and then FUCJ me?¿????? yeah no.mmmm..... sorrryyyy. not. for me. also i have a feeling they eat rats and that is just. nuh uh.

anyways THANK YOU 🎀🎀🎀🎀 THIS WAS FUN i love ranting about dol on here bc i will never ever breathe the words 'degrees of lewdity' irl EVER

[nachosncheeze]

Jane Doe

DELIGHTED! For this ask game

(also @rogue-thirteen, here she is!)

I'm gonna put a cut for spoiler purposes, because imma be going alllllll the way through canon and a little bit beyond.

How I feel about this character

Pretty sure the only character on this show I love more is Remi.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Kurt Weller OBVIOUSLY

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Rich. I know that was my answer for Patterson too, but Rich and Jane have a really special connection. They've both seen shit and they're both reformed and the lack of judgment and the way they encourage each other but also NEVER TALK ABOUT IT is so so so so so so so good. Butterscotch.

My unpopular opinion about this character

A) The infidelity and Avery plots made perfect sense and were actually pretty good.

B) Well I don't know if it's still unpopular now, but from the posts I've archived it certainly would have been during the original run: I don't see her as a mom. Bee notwithstanding (I headcanon that she adores her stepdaughter, but also worries about stepping on toes or inserting herself too much) I think being a mom would be basically unendurable for her. Being a good mom requires being 100% invested 100% of the time. She's not had a single positive adult role model since she was, what, 8? She's got enough trauma to fill an inland sea, and has never really had any therapy that didn't amount to some sort of reverse-gaslighting. She does not have the stability to be a full-time mom, and I reckon she knows it. I think the fosters were an attempt to do something for Weller, because he wanted a lot of kids, but I also think that after the kids moved on (did you know the average foster placement in USA is <18 months?) there were not any more. I do think that she would enjoy working with kids, especially troubled ones, as that's something where she can really use her shitty life experience; but in a context where she can go home and have a meltdown at the end of the day if she needs to, without traumatizing any kids under her roof. I think Weller would settle well into that also, despite having earlier said he wants a lot of kids. My post-canon headcanon is they start a nonprofit and work in mentoring roles. They have "their kids" at work but they can go home and find peace and heal at night. (Besides, how fucking messed up would it be for Bee, only there half the time, when the kids that aren't even related to them are there all the time? How are they gonna keep her feeling grounded? Shared custody things are already a mindfuck for a little kid. That just sounds like a nightmare.)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I'm honestly drawing a blank. I suppose I would have liked more of early season 3's Fewer Fucks Jane (she has fewer fucks to give), but I get why they had to hurry her off, because hyperconfident idgaf-Jane wouldn't have fit with the midseason plots, and just to let her be sassy and blunt would be a silly reason to drag out/postpone other story beats.