#remus; reply

[doodlemcjazzhands]

what if remus kisses sirius haha how weird would that be

[hyperfixation-fix]

Remus, arriving home from work: Born to meet my end, forced to make ends meet. I fucking hate my life.

Sirius, entirely unconcerned: You can meet my end any day, gorgeous 😘

James, covering little Harry's ears: I don't even know where to fucking start with this situation.

[serial-llover]

HELP; MARAUDERS FANDOM

I'm currently reading the HP series front to back but I'm really interested in all the marauders content I've been seeing online!

What are the most popular marauders fanfics? I'm unsure where to start so if anyone has any recs it would be greatly appreciated! I'm just trying to dip my toes into the fandom, I would love to read the different stories/canons.

Please if anyone has any recommendations on fanfics I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW!! (the most popular ones? the first one(s) i need to read?) whenever I search wattpad I become extremely overwhelmed by the amount of options lol. Thank you so much!

[whyareyouhere66]

Maybe some hurt/comfort platonic Professor Remus Lupin x gn student reader where reader also has lycanthropy (is a werewolf) but with anger issues. Remus can kind of guess, but after reader almost gets outed as a ‘monster’ Remus makes it his duty to teach reader how to control their anger. Father figure Remus 🫶 you can make it as angsty as you want <3

Here it is! This took way too long but it’s finished now, and I hope you like it! Thanks for requesting 🫶

!Father figure! Remus Lupin x GN !werewolf! Reader

CW: implied absence of father, accidental(kinda) self harm, slightly graphic descriptions, reader has anger issues, possible ooc Remus I’m not really sure

x

I should’ve stayed in.

I should’ve known better, really. But it seems I didn’t. 

Malfoy always has a way of getting under everyone’s skin- and it seems that the older he gets, the less afraid he is of doing so in front of teachers. You should’ve been more cautious getting into arguments with him in the middle of a class.

“Malfoy, L/n, you two separate yourselves right now.” Professor McGonagall scolds, glaring at where Malfoy stood in front of my seat. He had that same devilish grin on his face, even as I’m glaring up at him from my chair.

“Sit down, Malfoy.” I say flatly, but he doesn’t budge.

“And what are you gonna do, hm? I have no reason to be threatened by someone like,” he takes the time to look my up and down, not hiding the grimace to follow, “you.”

“Then why don’t you go sit down?,” I quip, “no one’s asking you to stay, the only reason I see is you’re enjoying it.” I see quickly how his grin drops, and he’s glaring right back at me now. 

“Is that your best comeback? As if I’d ever enjoy being near you,” he seethes, and I stand up with my hands running down my face. 

“You are so exhausting-“ I groan, only to feel a sudden shove against my shoulder. I snap my head towards him again. What is he trying to do?

“You filthy little-“

“Don’t touch me,”

“Draco! L/n! Back to your seats at once!” McGonagall shouts, the click of her boots taking a few quick steps closer before stopping. I don’t look at her, because Draco is already shoving me back again. His face is scrunched into a look of disgust, and anger, and I can only imagine mine looks somewhat similar.

I’m shoving him back before I can think, my mind ticking, yelling at me to not let him walk away proudly. 

Bursts of different voices, small gasps, are around me as Draco is lunging forward pathetically. His brain is racing the same way mine is- but i only get a second to try and block his hands before he’s backing me up towards the wall.

I grab his shoulders, trying to pry him off me, but my back collides with a shelf and my head gets thrown back against something, 

The pain sends a jolt through my body, something all too familiar, but it’s too late. 

My eyes surge, and I feel the bones in my shoulders cracking against each other while I fall. Draco is somewhere in front of me, stumbling to the ground, and Ms. McGonagall shouts again from across the room.

“Shit.”

My heart is pounding, my hands are sweaty, but all I can feel from my racing mind is anger.

Before he can come at me again, I stumble to my feet again and run out of the room as quickly as possible. Professor McGonagall yells at me, but I can’t hear her anymore. My ears throb as they grow, stretching and pointing at the ends. 

My back arches into its new form, hairs poking my skin as they grow rapidly. Bones give a sickening crack as they move inside of me, my legs unable to hold me up. And I can’t stop it- because my mind is hollering and it’s too late to pull myself back now.

A snarl echoes from the throat, fangs poking my gums. It hurts, it always does- but this time it got too close.

My classmates could’ve seen me- they nearly did. 

Long claws make an ugly noise as they scratch the floor beneath me, I probably look psychotic stumbling across the floor trying to regain control of myself again. 

I want to hit him- I want to keep that ugly smirk off his face. 

My hands curl into a fist, and I feel the stinging pain of claws scraping the palms of my hands. The painful red that follows feels warm on my skin, I keep my hand still until the pain begins to keep the rest of me still.

My hitched breathing is loud, but slowly I feel my nails dulling, pulling out of my skin. I let out a gasp, face beginning to shift back to its original shape. 

My jaw throbs, and my fingers become sore as I desperately try to pull my self back into place. Bones are snapping, returning to normal while I struggle to hold myself up any longer. 

Heavy breathes fall, but I barely recognize them. My ears dull until they’re no longer long and pointed, my eyes fade from the sharp yellow back to e/c. 

“No, no no no,” I plead. 

“….y/n?”

I snap my eyes up to the new voice, and freeze when I see Professor Lupin staring at me wide-eyed.

He analyzes my shaking figure, and he looks at me differently… almost understandingly. 

I scramble to my feet again, stumbling away from him. 

“Wait!” He calls out, but I sprint away before he can follow.

It’s all ruined.

***

The next day, I refuse to leave the dorms. 

I slept in my closet last night, too afraid that one of my dorm mates would walk in and look at me the same way everyone else did before. 

About halfway through the morning hour, there’s a tapping at my window- and I recognize F/n’s owl, Ares, staring at me through the glass. F/n sent a note. 

I don’t want to read it. But I do- all it asks is where I am. 

I slide down the wall slowly, letting the note fall to the floor beside me. I feel so tired. 

Gosh- I was doing such a good job before. Whenever my anger would get the best of me, I’d find solace in an old closet or something, curl my hand into a fist so tightly it would unravel with red staining the palm. It would keep me stable- I had it under control.

But now?

.

.

A knock sounds from the door.

I don’t want to answer it.

I stare at it for a while, maybe I should. Maybe it’s F/n.

Eventually, I do open it.

Standing on the other side, is Professor Lupin, and I immediately freeze. What is he doing here? 

The look he gave me yesterday flashes in my mind, the understanding, the empathy. He speaks before I do, much to my relief.

“May I come in?” He asks, and I hesitantly step to the side. He enters carefully, finding a spot towards the center of the room, and I sit down on the foot of my bed awkwardly. 

“Look, professor-“ I try, only to be interrupted.

“It’s ok, I know.”

“…what do you think you know..?”

He sighs, looking round the room, as if searching for the right words. I watch cautiously.

“…I was about 4 years old, when I was turned.” He says- my eyes widen. Turned? Does that mean-?

“What..?”

“Well, that’s what you are, right,” he looks at me pointedly, “a werewolf?”

My heart stops when he says the word. Werewolf. 

He knows- he not only knows, but he is one, and I almost can’t believe my ears.

“You’re…you’re one too?”

Lupin nods, doesn’t even hesitate. Another sigh, before he continues.

“When I was bit, it was in means of revenge. I was used to get back at my father, and it’s affected my life ever since.”

Lupin paces the room when he talks, taking slow steps across the carpet. I feel a bit bad, knowing the burden of this curse. Professor Lupin looks at me again.

“It took me years to learn how to control it-  and if you’ll let me,” I can tell where this is going, “I want to help you learn as well.”

I pause, trying to think. I can learn to control it, to live with it. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. 

“…you’ll help me?” I ask quietly, looking up at him. His face softens slightly, and he nods.

“Of course.”

I don’t know what to say. He asks how old I was when I got bit, I tell him. 8 years old, on a camping trip with my mother and step dad. My mom didn’t know what to do, my step dad (at the time) hadn’t even warmed up to me much yet. I was left to face it alone. 

Professor Lupin’s eyebrows furrow slightly, and he nods. 

“So you had no parents to help you?” He asks, and I nod shyly. I almost don’t want to look at him, avoiding his gaze head on.

“It was kind of hard to, uh, connect with my step dad after that…”

He nods in understanding. I look away. 

“Well, how about this,” he doesn’t step much closer to me, and I look at him curiously, “do you know what triggers it.”

I nod once more, bending my fingers around each other on my lap.

“Yeah, uh, my anger is…” I clear my throat, “yeah.”

“Great, then we’ll start there.” He says, as if it was an obvious fact. “Meet me after classes tomorrow, preferably by my classroom. That’s when we’ll start.” He begins to walk towards the door again, and I watch him. It’s so new, I’ve never even told people about such a burden before, yet here I am. Before he can leave, I stand up from my bed.

“Wait, professor.”

He turns to me curiously.

“…thank you.”

***

The first “lesson” was a bit of a messy one. 

He asks me how I currently handle my anger, and I hesitantly look at the scars littering my palm and the heel of my hand.

“Ah, I see…” he trails off. I nod.

“Yeah…”

By the second lesson, he’s telling me what happens in my brain when I’m angry- and how to keep calm.

“It’ll sound like a cliche, but controlling your breathing.”

“Definitely sounds like a cliche.”

“Yeah, well, it works, sit down”. 

By the 5th lesson I’m already sensing a difference in how I’m feeling- it’s like my body is more relaxed, my brain isn’t as high wired as it used to be.

But I’m weren’t sure- until I got tested.

It wasn’t Draco Malfoy this time, though they were close in obnoxiousness. A Ravenclaw, by the name of Riley, continuously pestering me after getting paired up for a project together. She followed me down the halls after class, ignoring all my attempts to brush her off.

Can’t she take a hint? 

I turn another corner down the corridor, and she tells me once again how lazy I am. I feel myself getting more frustrated, heart beating faster, and I stop walking in the middle of the hallway. When I turn ti look at her she has the face of someone who just got fired from work- and I want to tell her that no one riles her up as much as she does to herself. 

The first throb in my gums, I freeze, and turn away quickly. Her voice stops, thank god, and I feel her curious gaze burning holes into my back. 

“It doesn’t matter,” I tell myself, “it’s all cool.”

I close my eyes, blocking the memory of her voice, and let my breathing slow until it’s balanced enough for me to no longer feel the ache in my jaw. 

My eyes open again, I’m normal.

I’m normal- holy shit. A grin spreads across my face and I check my hands just in case- nothing. My body didn’t change at all. 

I whip around, not looking at Riley even as she throws another comment my way.

“Uh huh, yeah.” Is all i manage before I’m pushing past her and starting to jog down the hall.

“I did it,” I say to myself, “I did it!”

I’m basically running by the time I’ve made it to Professor Lupin’s classroom, knocking on the large wooden door a few times before he answers.

“Y/n?”

I grin at him. “I did it!” I exclaim, “I did it- I controlled it!”

His face begins to light up, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

“What?” 

I step into his room, but still spin around to face him. My cheeks are beginning to hurt from my smile but I don’t falter.

“I controlled myself, Lupin, i didn’t even change at all!”

His smile grows and he looks at me. “That’s wonderful, I’m so-“

Before he finishes, I step forward and hug him.

I didn’t even expect to, I just feel myself wrapping my arms around his torso and grinning like a mad man against his coat. His arms lay against my back in return in a  fatherly embrace, so simple yet I could never miss it. 

“Thank you” I say, and he smiles above me.

“Of course, Y/n.”

[alter-ego-xxx]

I'm searching for your remusXjamesXreg hc post from about a week ago, but i can't find your post anywhere :(

(it was so good why did you delete it)

So instead i was wondering if i could ask you for your thoughts on their first threesome? How did that start?

Were you looking for this? Because I don't think I deleted a post recently? Also they're all under the jegumus tag.

Also idk if you saw it but I already answered an ask about how they got together (you can find it here).

nsfw

Now, for their first threesome, I think it was quite tender. I imagine that after they finally had "the talk", they started kissing and with time, the three of them got needier and needier. I think James was the first of them to lose his shirt. Since Reg and Remus were the ones with the most tention previously, they end up on the bed first, with Reg in Remus' lap, grinding down on him while kissing.

Overall, James is the most experienced and sees that this tention needs to be resolved as fast as possible so he talks Reg through riding Remus. Later he gets his dick sucked as a thank you.

[seriousbrat]

What I find comfortable to say is pathetic about James is his righteousness. We see that in SWM when he tries to get Snape to apologise to Lily (I get the sentiment, but you're simply not in the position to do that?), and when he meets Snape on the train and genuinely thinks wanting to be in Slytherin makes you morally inferior.

He was 16 and 11 in these instances, but as much as he grew and learned about the complexities of the world and the human psyche, his slightly childish black-and-white sense of morality was still his downfall.

We hear Lupin say Harry is a lot like James in this aspect, but I think one thing Harry has that James never quite developed to the same level is an enormous amount of empathy. Maybe it's foolish of Harry to not shoot to kill, but Harry managed to empathise with Voldemort, and I think it's safe to assume through Sirius and Remus* that James never managed to do the same with Snape.

*just considering that as adults, Sirius showed absolutely no regret, and Remus, tho he did recognise how bad their attitude towards Snape was, didn't quite recognise just how much it actually impacted Snape. So if Remus is the most enlightened end of the Marauders Moral Spectrum (not a great one altogether), and Sirius is the most clouded, I think James would sit somewhere in the middle, but probably more inclined to agree with Sirius.

Definitely, I agree!! Specifically, I think his hypocrisy about his righteousness is what's pathetic. I said this in the post about James that I linked, but a strong moral code (which James has always had) doesn't actually mean anything without true empathy and understanding towards others. Else it's all too easy to convince yourself that something does align with your moral beliefs. Particularly if those beliefs are very black and white and very rigid. We've seen this plenty of times through history and in the present day, where lack of empathy leads people to believe that X group is evil and that therefore the righteous, moral thing to do is to hurt them.

James believed that Death Eaters = Bad. That much is true enough. But in his mind this became Death Eaters = Slytherins = Bad. And specifically Death Eaters = Slytherins = Snape = Bad. Therefore, Attacking Snape = Good.

This is really just a justification for the fact that James found it validating (and fun, and easy) to pick on Snape. The Gryffindor vs Slytherin/James vs Snape/Good vs Evil dichotomy inherited from his dad was further established in his brain early doors when he met Snape on the train. Lack of empathy is common in teens, who, psychologically, tend to view the world as revolving around themselves. While I think a part of James (very small, very deep down) knew it was wrong, it was easy enough to feel justified in bullying Snape because there's a hint of truth to the worldview that Slytherins are, if not inherently evil, generally not good people. But that doesn't excuse cruelty, obviously, and I think James as a character is a good example of the fact that people who have """""correct""""" moral beliefs are still capable of cruelty.

I also think tumblr/twitter 'SJW' culture are places this is seen very clearly, when people who express opinions even slightly outside of what's considered acceptable, even if it's a simple mistake borne of ignorance, are dogpiled on and cyberbullied in the name of social justice, when in reality it would be much more productive and much kinder in many situations to just calmly engage in honest conversation. Certain spaces (echo chambers) do breed a lack of empathy, and in general people who have strong opinions but haven't the empathy to realise the world inevitably contains a wide variety of opinion, and lack the understanding to back up their own beliefs, tend to react with great hostility to anyone who doesn't share them.

Point is, you aren't automatically a good person because you have the 'right' beliefs. What matters is what you do.

Anyway I got sidetracked. But I also wanted to say that I think Lily is the opposite of James in this. She's empathetic to a fault. She has so much empathy towards Snape that she fails to see (or at least to really address) his problems and the danger he represents to her, at least until it's nearly too late. I'd say Harry is somewhere in between his parents, which is probably a good thing. Also I do think that because they were opposites in this regard, Lily and James were probably quite good for each other haha and balanced each other out, eventually growing towards a similar place somewhere between Lily's blind empathy and James's black and white morality. So he became less rigid and she became more structured (this is the new she was dramatic he was dynamic)

On the Lupin-Black Scale (lmao) I agree that at first James was more towards Sirius's end, but the way I see him, he later began to drift a little bit towards the Remus end. About Remus himself, I think he is an incredibly empathetic character. He's responsible for bringing Peter into the group. Similarly he picks up quickly on the fact that Neville needs a bit of encouragement and provides this quite subtly and quite effectively, and he also notices when Harry is distressed and helps him too. The trouble is that Remus's empathetic nature is at war with his need to be accepted, which is why he tolerates certain behaviours from his friends even knowing it's wrong. In this post about Remus from a while ago, I talked about the fact that Remus is a character full of similar contradictions, and very aware of them himself. His being a werewolf (the stark opposite of his kind, mild, thoughtful nature) is a really good metaphor for that!

[daenysx]

do you mind when i share shorter fics compared to usual? i mean i don't really write long long fics normally but sometimes i reply requests with even shorter fics than drabbles and i'm wondering if you're okay with them or do you prefer longer ones?? <33

[inkyarcturus]

What do snupin order when they eat chinese food? 🥡🥢✨

I’m clearing out my inbox and realized I never responded to this!

I’m going to be honest I haven’t gotten much Chinese food in my life��� and I’m not British. From what I’ve seen British Chinese cuisine includes sauces I’ve never heard of here in America and chips? So I can not make an informed headcanon for them.

My personal go to order is lo mein with orange chicken, but, if I had to guess both of them seem more like people who would eat beef? Or dumplings. They’d definitely get dumplings.

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

can you do a fic rec/round up of some fics you really like pls! i think i've read most of the popular ones!

Okay yes!!! (I think some of these you’ll need to be logged in to see) I’ve read these this month!

Twenty two cards - drarry aurors fic series

57th Street On Fire - 90s coke dealer Remus Wolfstar AU (TW: drug use and mentions)

The Power Of The Dog - wolfstar, lawyer Remus and accused murderer Sirius

if I go I'm going on fire - wolfstar, Sirius sees dead people so he and Regulus decide to renovate their childhood home

Anything by suchsmallhands @shipsnsails I am obsessed with their work atm!!!!

Crude and Proud - soulmates wolfstar modern AU (TW: mentions of child abuse)

All bets are off - drarry, auror Harry and high baller gambler Draco!!!

The Defamation of Draco Malfoy - drarry, someone publishes fan fiction of Draco and Harry. Chaos ensures. One shot.

Hopefully this helps!!!

[quillkiller]

bestie we need some of your remus headcanons, i know they’re going to be amazing

wounded boy gets swept up by three boys who love him and each other so desperately fiercly, undying loyalty, and he stops hating himself. he gets a couple of genuine good and happy years where all four of them are the kings of the world. until it’s all gone in the blink of an eye and he stands alone and the wounded boy becomes a wounded and damaged man, who doesn’t really care or have the energy to try to be a good man

he has always been unpleasant. except for with the marauders. the kind of guy who doesn’t put in effort to be good company around people. his natural state is sort of bordering on rude even if it isn’t his intention. noodle. tall. wet sock

wounded —> scarred —> scars open back up (were always there) and never close again

[doodlemcjazzhands]

Hey ✨ If you got this! It is an ask game 🧑‍💻 Please! Tell us about your Favorite 🔮 Marauders Era character! 🎞 And send this! 💡 To two Other people 💌 Secretly! 🪞 Goodbye 🕊️ And tag with #maraudersaskgame 💫 So others! Can find it. And! always Remember... to free Palestine! 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉 🍉🍉 🍉🍉🍉!

😮hi! Thanks for the ask!

I'm gonna have to go with Regulus (or at least my perception of Regulus)

I see him as sort of a coward, but he still finds his own way to hold strong to his values and ultimately do the right thing, despite most everyone in his life having different views.

He treats Kreacher with kindness and respect when everyone in his close circle would say he'd ought to treat him with cruelty (even Sirius). And then obviously he goes off and does the whole locket switch-a-roo behind everyone's back, and I just think there's something beautiful about doing the right thing, even when you don't stand to gain any benefits or recognition from it.

Does he always make smart, healthy choices? No. Do I still absolutely adore his character? YOU BET I DO!

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

I dont think remus gets hornier around the full moon. I do like the idea that the further from the full, the easier it is to get him in the mood.

He, canonically speaking, doesnt like anything that reminds him of his lycanthropy, including his patronus shaped like a wolf. Part of it is due to the stigmatization and exclusion from the society he experiences as well as internalized self hate, but I do believe at least part of it is that he associates it with everything he fears - loosing control and pain. He gets sick for a few days before and after the full, during which he is very weak. The transformation is painful and sometimes leaves him hurt or wounded. Afterwards he is exhausted and again, in pain.

For me this doesnt sound like the greatest set up for sex. I think Remus gets moody and irritable, snappish and acts like he hates everything and everyone (Sirius has to fight tooth and nail just to get him under the blanket for a cuddle). The way I see the full moon's physical influence is comparable to getting a flu, rather than being on a period*. Someone in the replies to that one post mentioned a change in hormones, but unless you hc him as trans*, I dont really see how the full moon would cause that?

So, I would say the further from the full, the easier is to get him in the mood (not that the new moon causes him to be horny, but one might come to that conclusion, when he is - in comparison - more horny around the new moon than the full. this is just his regular level of horny, that gets suppressed when he is in a stressful situation & experiences pain and fatigue)

Alright, rant over

*That doesnt mean I dont see the parallels and analogies etc. Remus as a werewolf has a cycle and it makes it very easy to hc him as trans (for many reasons, not just bc of the cycle, obviously). And I do love a trans remus hc with all my heart <333 But then the change in hormones / having a cycle is an addition to or a stand in for the full moon transformation, not a direct result of the full moon.

[rosedive]

james sends this tweet in the marauders group chat. no one replies to him.

[seriousbrat]

Potential for both disaster and greatness, but what would Tonks and Remus have been as parents?

I think it’s worth taking into account that JKR wrote Teddy just so he could become an orphan. We didn’t have to be confronted with the fact that maybe not all is well after the war for werewolves. I think it’s fair to say that some of Remus’s worries would be justified and the Lupin-Tonks would be exposed to a fair amount of negative public opinions.

Yes, even though a lot of Remus's closest friends and allies go directly into the highest levels of government and would probably start pushing for change. It also helps that everyone in the Order was likely given war hero status, Tonks as an Auror doubly so. Obviously prejudice doesn't just cease to exist but in that Rita Skeeter article Teddy is famous enough to be written about, so Remus might be better off than the average werewolf, and his family by extension too. If Remus had lived I wouldn't be at all surprised if Kingsley appointed him Head of some kind of overhauled Werewolf Protection Office. And I wouldn't be surprised if that existed anyway after the war. But yeah, even so I think truly changing public opinion takes time so I don't doubt they'd face some prejudice.

Onto Remus and Tonks themselves, well I do think it would be a little bit chaotic. Tonks is very messy while I see Remus as very neat, so things might not always run very smoothly at the Lupin-Tonks home haha. But Remus is naturally a very good teacher so even though he might be a bit detached at times, I think he'd be a good dad in general, and he'd take it very seriously. And in this case Tonks would be the fun parent whereas Remus would be the more sensible of the two. Also Remus would be very prone to worrying and being overprotective.

I can also see them roping Andromeda in a lot for childcare lol. And probably Harry too, especially before James Sirius is born. But that's not a terrible thing.

[siriuslygay1981]

Have y'all seen the hc where Remus is there when Sirius is arrested. If you haven't, you will now. If I had to see it so do you. So here's my mini version of that!!

Cw- lots of swearing, death, angst and heartbreak

✧⁠◝◜⁠✧ ♡ ✧

Sirius had just gotten there, had just barely comprehended what happened when a loud voice called out to him.

"Sirius black come out with your wand thrown to the floor!"

He wasn't sure what was happening still trying to grasp the fact that James...James was gone. Lily...sweet lovely lily was dead and Harry...just a small boy- he was...he's still here crying. His little screams echoed along with Sirius' racing thoughts, shocking him at the shrill and loud scream that came out of the small baby. He was so small, his tiny hand could barely hold two of Sirius' fingers.

His feet couldn't move, stuck to the floor before slowly snapping out of it. He had stumbled down the stairs after seeing them, had saw James on his way up and felt something inside him break. Half his soul was missing, like a vital fucking organ was ripped out. It was as if someone sucked the life source from his body, sucked the essence in which he was warm, was loved, was soft. Like a fucking sunflower as the sun set, for the last time, the flower wilted slowly, it's whole body sinking down in despair.

He'd never rise with the sun again, would never turn to see that bright grin that always had him grinning just as widely right back.

He hadn't let any air in as he pushed the nursery door open, he had seconds to comfort Harry before he couldn't take it.

He had stumbled back down the stairs and to the front door with bile rising in his throat. His hand was on the doorknob when the voice had spoke.

It was an order member...maybe some Aurors, they...they could help. Could get Peter and fucking kill him.

Rage took over, boiling, mad rage. He swung the door open, his face dark. Peter did this.. and he was going to pay, even if it fucking killed him, he was going to hurt Peter.

He was surrounded in seconds his whole body immediately wrapped in rope, he started to fall forward but two Aurors rushed forward and caught him, gripping him roughly.

"What-guys he's out there we have to-" he felt desperate as he spoke.

Sirius pushed the grief aside, first Peter had to go down then he could mourn both his brother and the betrayal of another brother.

Remus came into view, his face was ashen, it hardened as he stepped closer.

"Don't fight it Black. We already know."

Sirius huffed annoyed.

"if you already know them release me! We have little time before that rat 🐁 gets away!"

Remus' face went through a whirlwind of emotions as the Aurors started to drag him forward.

He struggled in their grasp trying not to think of the blank wide eyed faces of his brother and his sister in law.

"Stop. Just stop, you can't fool us Black, not again."

It was then he stopped fighting. Thought he misheard the first time. He felt the air leave his lungs, his stomach lurching up once again.

Black. Said with disdain..anger.

He..thinks I did this. He thinks I betrayed them. His stomach drops, his throat tightening.

"What-" he could feel the beginnings of laughter building in his throat. Nothing was funny, nothing except maybe Remus thinks he betrayed lily and James.

His laugh wasn't the typical one from a successful prank or some unfunny joke that was so ridiculous he couldn't help but laugh. No, no, it reminded him of his days in locked cupboards, bloody faces, bruised arms. The laugh of a rebel son spitting in the face of his abusers knowing he'd barely make it out alive for his disobedience. It was hysterical in a way he hadn't felt in so long.

"We know you were working with Voldemort this whole time Sirius. Give it up, you've already killed all our friends, isn't that enough?" Remus didn't make eye contact only spoke in his direction.

"You think-" he couldn't force more out, could barely choke out those two words.

"You-you think-" his heart was crumbling, he was shaking, he doesn't think he's ever felt so fucking hopeless. He didn't realize how much heartbreak, hurt- pain you could put in just two words until now.

He could hear the other Aurors murmuring and could see them eyeing him in disgust. He never cared before now, the ones he loved knew he wasn't like his heritage, that's all that mattered. Now though..he felt the world crumbling beneath his feet, more and more he sunk into the ground, into the concrete, he was weak and breaking as the seconds passed by in slow distorted time, he couldn't hold himself up.

"You think I-" and he was laughing, and laughing and choking on sobs.

You think I did this? You think I hurt James and lily? You think I took Harry's parents from him? You think I killed my brother?

He surged forward cackling wildly, gasps and sobs mixing and melding with his manic laughs. This had to be a joke. Had to be a prank, it wasn't a funny one though, wasn't their usual style.

"Y-you think-"

You think I'm just my last name? You think I'm a black? You think I betrayed them? You think I killed them? You don't believe me? You have been getting closer just to expose me? You don't feel the same..

"It was a bit obvious, no?" Remus said suddenly angry.

"You were trying to gain my trust, my undeniable loyalty-" Remus' voice cracked and oh...oh how it hurt to see Remus explain his feelings away. Sirius wasn't feeling too well all of a sudden. It was hit after hit, he felt worse than the day Regulus turned death eater, felt sick and Merlin if he could just get some air into his lungs.

It struck Sirius all of a sudden, Peter bloody Pettigrew framed him.

"I think you should go for it, I mean you might never get the chance. With the war and all?"

"Peter fucking pettigrew-" he choked out astonished.

One of his best friends, his fucking brother had killed one of their own, had gone and framed him by manipulating his feelings.

"You would disappear at random times, not telling where you were or what you'd done." Remus continued as Sirius was shoved to the floor face first. He breathed out heavily his chest constricting as he struggled to breathe.

"You were the secret keeper, how bloody stupid do you think we are?" Remus shook his head as he stared down at Sirius.

I was framed. I was framed bloody brilliantly because I was an idiot. And no one will ever believe me. Not the man I love, not the friends I had made.

The only ones who know are dead and it's all my fault.

He felt the rocks dig into his face, into his arms and his jeans. He had thrown on an outfit ready for a small outing to the bar in Peters neighbourhood, knew he'd have a few drinks and head home. He even made a list because it was funny, knew he rarely finished lists but he wanted to rub it in Lily's face that he finished one today.

Check on Peter, go to the bar, go home, try to sleep for a few restless hours.

Check on Peter. He had walked up the steps to his flat, had knocked and got no answer, had grabbed his spare key he always hid in the plant and checked inside. He was already halfway done with the first thing, easy peasy.

"I'll be home all night pads."

Sirius was known not to finish lists- assignments, was often too busy with other things. He put things off, procrastinated as long as he could.

He felt his gut tighten with anxiety, wasn't sure yet-or maybe he just didn't want it to be true- about what the feeling of dread meant. He flew out of the house in record time, his long legs running as fast as he could.

To his bike and to the Potters and the door was ajar. It was eerily quiet and he went inside, He stood still for just a moment, his mind was blank.

He wishes, truly aches, to have finished this list. Wishes that it was just a silly nightmare and he'd wake up to go check on Peter. Would greet Peter and tease him about his new girlfriend he visited so often.

But now he was staring at the tall freckled man in front of him. His face was being pushed into the floor, a knee in his back as they waited for backup. He couldn't breathe- the world was crushing him under its boot, he struggled to speak, could barely get coherent words out.

"Remus I- I didn't...Remus it wasn't some grand plot. I L-"

"Black. Im not exactly surprised we are here, wish this could've been different." Moody interrupts, limping over with a grim face.

Sirius closed his eyes. There was no point. No point in fighting, Peter had got him, had pulled the biggest prank on the lot of them.

Of course he was a bloody rat. There were no signs, he had just been Pete, shy Loving Pete. Should he have noticed? He had suspected Remus at one point, and felt ashamed. Was he a bad friend for not noticing the change in Peter? Before it was too late, they were all scared he should've checked in more, surely. Should've Floo'd in or came over for tea. Ask how his mother was, asked more about his girlfriend.

Why fight when no matter what he said, what he did, they'd hold his last name against him. Guess his parents got their last kick of revenge on Sirius. They're probably laughing down in hell, glad he goes down as a traitor.

✷ ⁠๑ ❥๑*｡⁠*ﾟ✷

Bonus;

"Even though we have overwhelming evidence that you were a spy for the dark side, would you want to do a trial?"

Sirius glanced up, his whole body numb. The wind blew against his newly shaved head, his shoulders hunched up against the cold. His limbs felt heavy, heavier with the chunky handcuffs and chains on his wrists and ankles pulling him down. The world was pushing down on him harder, overwhelming, constant, heavy, weight.

James was gone.

He felt a small piece of hope spark, he could get Peter, he could go home. He could mourn then sleep in his warm bed and cry, all he had to do was try to convince them of his innocence.

"We would administer Veritaserum-"

The hope died again, his eyes dimmed. Veritaserum-...he was doomed to this fate, he could see it all go down in his head.

'And how did you become friends with Mr lupin, Mr Potter and Mr Pettigrew?How did you get so close that you were the Potters secret keeper?'

'What are your thoughts about these three?'

The first ones were easy, 'Hogwarts of course.'.

'Well you see Mr minister of magic, we found out our best buddy was a werewolf and as we found a way to illegally help him we grew closer. Usually happens when doing highly illegal things together, builds trust.'

The third was a bit more complicated

'oh well right now I think Peter Pettigrew is a dirty rat, a traitor and that he was my brother and he will die a painful bloody death.'

'James...James was the air in my lungs, the love in my chest. He was the sun on my skin and I was saved by him. He was my brother, my best friend, my everything. And he's dead because of me.'

'Remus..I thought Remus was someone I loved. Really truly loved. He's the light in the dark, he was more than just my friend, he was someone I was willing to do anything for. I might even love him.'

Betrayed by two of his brothers, killed another and the love of his life doesn't believe him.

"No trial." He whispered cutting the Auror off mid-sentence.

What other choice did he have?

'And Mr black could you tell us who the werewolf is?'

'Remus lupin, it's in his name innit?'

Inevitably they'd ask, he'd doom Remus to a worse fate. Would condemn another to take his place in prison or an equally worse situation. He couldn't do that, not to Remus. He could see Remus speaking to Moody his body stiff as Moody nodded slowly to his words.

He was set in his decision when he saw Remus' thumb slide over the bracelet on his wrist. Remus was taking comfort in it, he could feel Remus on his own wrist, the bracelets magically connected in a one way call.

I'll hate you until I can't, love you even when it hurts. I'll be back and then...when I set everything straight I'll mourn more than just our past but our future too.

He looked away as Remus looked over to him.

I'm sorry.

[loonyloopylupin96]

Not me having an identity crisis* over @stars-taylorsversion 's decision and then suddenly today realising just how right they were.