#idk if ill do it or do it well but i promise to atleast try

[siriuslygay1981]

Have y'all seen the hc where Remus is there when Sirius is arrested. If you haven't, you will now. If I had to see it so do you. So here's my mini version of that!!

Cw- lots of swearing, death, angst and heartbreak

✧⁠◝◜⁠✧ ♡ ✧

Sirius had just gotten there, had just barely comprehended what happened when a loud voice called out to him.

"Sirius black come out with your wand thrown to the floor!"

He wasn't sure what was happening still trying to grasp the fact that James...James was gone. Lily...sweet lovely lily was dead and Harry...just a small boy- he was...he's still here crying. His little screams echoed along with Sirius' racing thoughts, shocking him at the shrill and loud scream that came out of the small baby. He was so small, his tiny hand could barely hold two of Sirius' fingers.

His feet couldn't move, stuck to the floor before slowly snapping out of it. He had stumbled down the stairs after seeing them, had saw James on his way up and felt something inside him break. Half his soul was missing, like a vital fucking organ was ripped out. It was as if someone sucked the life source from his body, sucked the essence in which he was warm, was loved, was soft. Like a fucking sunflower as the sun set, for the last time, the flower wilted slowly, it's whole body sinking down in despair.

He'd never rise with the sun again, would never turn to see that bright grin that always had him grinning just as widely right back.

He hadn't let any air in as he pushed the nursery door open, he had seconds to comfort Harry before he couldn't take it.

He had stumbled back down the stairs and to the front door with bile rising in his throat. His hand was on the doorknob when the voice had spoke.

It was an order member...maybe some Aurors, they...they could help. Could get Peter and fucking kill him.

Rage took over, boiling, mad rage. He swung the door open, his face dark. Peter did this.. and he was going to pay, even if it fucking killed him, he was going to hurt Peter.

He was surrounded in seconds his whole body immediately wrapped in rope, he started to fall forward but two Aurors rushed forward and caught him, gripping him roughly.

"What-guys he's out there we have to-" he felt desperate as he spoke.

Sirius pushed the grief aside, first Peter had to go down then he could mourn both his brother and the betrayal of another brother.

Remus came into view, his face was ashen, it hardened as he stepped closer.

"Don't fight it Black. We already know."

Sirius huffed annoyed.

"if you already know them release me! We have little time before that rat 🐁 gets away!"

Remus' face went through a whirlwind of emotions as the Aurors started to drag him forward.

He struggled in their grasp trying not to think of the blank wide eyed faces of his brother and his sister in law.

"Stop. Just stop, you can't fool us Black, not again."

It was then he stopped fighting. Thought he misheard the first time. He felt the air leave his lungs, his stomach lurching up once again.

Black. Said with disdain..anger.

He..thinks I did this. He thinks I betrayed them. His stomach drops, his throat tightening.

"What-" he could feel the beginnings of laughter building in his throat. Nothing was funny, nothing except maybe Remus thinks he betrayed lily and James.

His laugh wasn't the typical one from a successful prank or some unfunny joke that was so ridiculous he couldn't help but laugh. No, no, it reminded him of his days in locked cupboards, bloody faces, bruised arms. The laugh of a rebel son spitting in the face of his abusers knowing he'd barely make it out alive for his disobedience. It was hysterical in a way he hadn't felt in so long.

"We know you were working with Voldemort this whole time Sirius. Give it up, you've already killed all our friends, isn't that enough?" Remus didn't make eye contact only spoke in his direction.

"You think-" he couldn't force more out, could barely choke out those two words.

"You-you think-" his heart was crumbling, he was shaking, he doesn't think he's ever felt so fucking hopeless. He didn't realize how much heartbreak, hurt- pain you could put in just two words until now.

He could hear the other Aurors murmuring and could see them eyeing him in disgust. He never cared before now, the ones he loved knew he wasn't like his heritage, that's all that mattered. Now though..he felt the world crumbling beneath his feet, more and more he sunk into the ground, into the concrete, he was weak and breaking as the seconds passed by in slow distorted time, he couldn't hold himself up.

"You think I-" and he was laughing, and laughing and choking on sobs.

You think I did this? You think I hurt James and lily? You think I took Harry's parents from him? You think I killed my brother?

He surged forward cackling wildly, gasps and sobs mixing and melding with his manic laughs. This had to be a joke. Had to be a prank, it wasn't a funny one though, wasn't their usual style.

"Y-you think-"

You think I'm just my last name? You think I'm a black? You think I betrayed them? You think I killed them? You don't believe me? You have been getting closer just to expose me? You don't feel the same..

"It was a bit obvious, no?" Remus said suddenly angry.

"You were trying to gain my trust, my undeniable loyalty-" Remus' voice cracked and oh...oh how it hurt to see Remus explain his feelings away. Sirius wasn't feeling too well all of a sudden. It was hit after hit, he felt worse than the day Regulus turned death eater, felt sick and Merlin if he could just get some air into his lungs.

It struck Sirius all of a sudden, Peter bloody Pettigrew framed him.

"I think you should go for it, I mean you might never get the chance. With the war and all?"

"Peter fucking pettigrew-" he choked out astonished.

One of his best friends, his fucking brother had killed one of their own, had gone and framed him by manipulating his feelings.

"You would disappear at random times, not telling where you were or what you'd done." Remus continued as Sirius was shoved to the floor face first. He breathed out heavily his chest constricting as he struggled to breathe.

"You were the secret keeper, how bloody stupid do you think we are?" Remus shook his head as he stared down at Sirius.

I was framed. I was framed bloody brilliantly because I was an idiot. And no one will ever believe me. Not the man I love, not the friends I had made.

The only ones who know are dead and it's all my fault.

He felt the rocks dig into his face, into his arms and his jeans. He had thrown on an outfit ready for a small outing to the bar in Peters neighbourhood, knew he'd have a few drinks and head home. He even made a list because it was funny, knew he rarely finished lists but he wanted to rub it in Lily's face that he finished one today.

Check on Peter, go to the bar, go home, try to sleep for a few restless hours.

Check on Peter. He had walked up the steps to his flat, had knocked and got no answer, had grabbed his spare key he always hid in the plant and checked inside. He was already halfway done with the first thing, easy peasy.

"I'll be home all night pads."

Sirius was known not to finish lists- assignments, was often too busy with other things. He put things off, procrastinated as long as he could.

He felt his gut tighten with anxiety, wasn't sure yet-or maybe he just didn't want it to be true- about what the feeling of dread meant. He flew out of the house in record time, his long legs running as fast as he could.

To his bike and to the Potters and the door was ajar. It was eerily quiet and he went inside, He stood still for just a moment, his mind was blank.

He wishes, truly aches, to have finished this list. Wishes that it was just a silly nightmare and he'd wake up to go check on Peter. Would greet Peter and tease him about his new girlfriend he visited so often.

But now he was staring at the tall freckled man in front of him. His face was being pushed into the floor, a knee in his back as they waited for backup. He couldn't breathe- the world was crushing him under its boot, he struggled to speak, could barely get coherent words out.

"Remus I- I didn't...Remus it wasn't some grand plot. I L-"

"Black. Im not exactly surprised we are here, wish this could've been different." Moody interrupts, limping over with a grim face.

Sirius closed his eyes. There was no point. No point in fighting, Peter had got him, had pulled the biggest prank on the lot of them.

Of course he was a bloody rat. There were no signs, he had just been Pete, shy Loving Pete. Should he have noticed? He had suspected Remus at one point, and felt ashamed. Was he a bad friend for not noticing the change in Peter? Before it was too late, they were all scared he should've checked in more, surely. Should've Floo'd in or came over for tea. Ask how his mother was, asked more about his girlfriend.

Why fight when no matter what he said, what he did, they'd hold his last name against him. Guess his parents got their last kick of revenge on Sirius. They're probably laughing down in hell, glad he goes down as a traitor.

✷ ⁠๑ ❥๑*｡⁠*ﾟ✷

Bonus;

"Even though we have overwhelming evidence that you were a spy for the dark side, would you want to do a trial?"

Sirius glanced up, his whole body numb. The wind blew against his newly shaved head, his shoulders hunched up against the cold. His limbs felt heavy, heavier with the chunky handcuffs and chains on his wrists and ankles pulling him down. The world was pushing down on him harder, overwhelming, constant, heavy, weight.

James was gone.

He felt a small piece of hope spark, he could get Peter, he could go home. He could mourn then sleep in his warm bed and cry, all he had to do was try to convince them of his innocence.

"We would administer Veritaserum-"

The hope died again, his eyes dimmed. Veritaserum-...he was doomed to this fate, he could see it all go down in his head.

'And how did you become friends with Mr lupin, Mr Potter and Mr Pettigrew?How did you get so close that you were the Potters secret keeper?'

'What are your thoughts about these three?'

The first ones were easy, 'Hogwarts of course.'.

'Well you see Mr minister of magic, we found out our best buddy was a werewolf and as we found a way to illegally help him we grew closer. Usually happens when doing highly illegal things together, builds trust.'

The third was a bit more complicated

'oh well right now I think Peter Pettigrew is a dirty rat, a traitor and that he was my brother and he will die a painful bloody death.'

'James...James was the air in my lungs, the love in my chest. He was the sun on my skin and I was saved by him. He was my brother, my best friend, my everything. And he's dead because of me.'

'Remus..I thought Remus was someone I loved. Really truly loved. He's the light in the dark, he was more than just my friend, he was someone I was willing to do anything for. I might even love him.'

Betrayed by two of his brothers, killed another and the love of his life doesn't believe him.

"No trial." He whispered cutting the Auror off mid-sentence.

What other choice did he have?

'And Mr black could you tell us who the werewolf is?'

'Remus lupin, it's in his name innit?'

Inevitably they'd ask, he'd doom Remus to a worse fate. Would condemn another to take his place in prison or an equally worse situation. He couldn't do that, not to Remus. He could see Remus speaking to Moody his body stiff as Moody nodded slowly to his words.

He was set in his decision when he saw Remus' thumb slide over the bracelet on his wrist. Remus was taking comfort in it, he could feel Remus on his own wrist, the bracelets magically connected in a one way call.

I'll hate you until I can't, love you even when it hurts. I'll be back and then...when I set everything straight I'll mourn more than just our past but our future too.

He looked away as Remus looked over to him.

I'm sorry.

[muikitoo]

Sooooooooooooo...

so...

Are you still taking requests?...

Idk what you are comfortable with doing or not... But if you are ok with it, could you do a Rise Leo x Reader anxiety attack?

*Nervous anime sweat drops 👉👈*

Like, maybe the Reader has been masking emotions all day and when Leo comes over they break down or catches them mid break down... Or something like that...?

Thank you!

*Runs away-*

Anxiety attack

Leo x gn! s/o who is having an anxiety attack.

Warnings

Anxiety attack, but the rest is fluff and comfort.

A/N:

I was actually pretty excited to write this. I hope it turned out well enough

- When he finds u in the middle of an anxiety attack, he panics. A lot.

- Quickly goes and gets you some water.

- He tries to calm you down, without necessary touching you or doing anything that could possibly trigger you more.

- breathing exercises/techniques

- after youve calmed down a little he tries to use reassuring words and hugs u gently(only if u let him).

- "Its okay. Youre safe now, i promise."

- it rally hurts him to see you like that, he loves you more than anything.

- After some time he'll ask to talk to you about what happened, if you dont wana talk abt it then he'll try and distract u/make u feel better (movies, games, cuddles, ect) and then talk about it whenever you need

Leo decided to visit you, worried. You hadn't texted or called him in a while. He thought you were just busy bc of school and that you'd visit the lair after your classes ended, but you never did.

Once he entered your apartment/house - it was awfully quiet. He felt his heart start to race, thinking about everything that couldve possibly happened. "Y/n? Hermosa? You home?" He said nervously. He was afraid, which he usually masks well, but this time he couldnt even think of that. He needed to make sure youre okay. The more he got closer to your room, the more he could hear faint sobs. He entered your room and saw you on the floor, shaking.

"Y/n!" He was quick to be by your side. He was confused and didnt want to touch you or do anything triggering. He quickly ran to the kitchen to grab you some water. He helped you drink some and then set the cup down somewhere and then turned his attention back to you. "Breathe, love. Breathe." He made you look at him as he told you to follow his instructions, breathing slowly - in and out.

"hey, do you mind if i hold you for a little while?" He asked after youve calmed down a bit. After getting your approval, he slightly scooted towards you and gently layed your head on his plastron, wrapping his arms around you. "Do you mind telling me what happened? Or do you want to talk about it later? As you amazing and handsome boyfriend i want to be here for you through this and help you anyway i can!" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little and wanting to earn atleast a small smile from you. You let out a shaky giggle, telling him about your stressful day and everything that happened during the classes. He listened carefully, petting your hair and humming every once in a while to let you know he's listening.

After having a talk and making sure youre okay, you decided to watch a movie. "You know what? Ill be generous today and let my amazing s/o pick whatever movie you want." He smirked as he pecked your head, getting comfortable in the sheets as he handed you the remote.

A/N: i wrote this in school so it was rushed. Im not that educated in stuff like this so if i got something wrong please correct me without being rude.

[ryanberga]

TMA has 5 seasons. One season = 40 episodes one episodes = let just say 30 minutes. One week = 8 days. 40 : 8 = 5 episodes. 5 × 30 minutes = 150 minutes = 2 and a half hours ( or idk 3 hours.). So TECHNICALLY i can finish TMA by the 5th week or atleast 1 month plus a week. Yes, i want to actually finish this. Cause i really love your reaction it made it seem so interesting. Also i went anon im afraid that my math is wrong. If my math wrong. Ryan ghost wrote this. I went off anon if im right.

From that tma math ask, yes i know there is a non cannon also q&a but im talking about the cannon one btw. Still it might be wrong ahskdldl-

omg FIRST OF ALL i'm no mathematician so i'm not gonna double check your work here lmaoo except to point out that a week is 7 days not 8?? also most episodes are closer to 15-25 minutes, very few are actually 30 mins or over! but if you want to listen to the magnus archives you definitely should! i think dedicating a couple of hours to it a day or setting a goal of listening to a few eps a day would be a good idea to get thru it quickly especially for the first season or two because you don't really see the meta plot much until the end of season 2/season 3 iirc. season 1 took me forever to get through because i wasn't too invested in it yet, but after season 2 i became addicted and listened to it literally whenever i was able to. so definitely keep that in mind if you don't feel like you vibe with the first season, just stick around and see if things improve in season 2 because everything does connect together and form a much bigger plot that you initially think

SECOND, i'm not sure if you mean you want to finish it in 5 weeks or if you want to finish it before the 5th season is over? but either way, the 5th season finale (and the grand finale!) isn't set to air until march, so you have plenty of time to catch up, don't feel like you're in any rush!! enjoy it for what it is instead of trying to meet a deadline :)

THIRD, i'm glad you enjoyed me crying over tma ahsjdks it was so much fun listening to it and tbh not at all what i expected it to be when i first started it. it's definitely the most interesting fiction podcast i've ever tried listening to, it's got horror and mystery and a great complex meta plot and emotional depth and great characters and wonderful character dynamics and explores really complex issues (such as morality, mental illness, trauma, etc etc), and it's also got great social commentary and draws fantastic parallels to real-life situations. i promise you, it's so much more interesting than i could put into words

and LASTLY, i'm not exactly sure what you mean by non-canon q&a? i'm not in the tma fandom or anything so idk all the ins and outs of it, but i know alex (the director of tma and the voice actor for martin) and jonathan (the writer and the voice actor for jon) do a q&a after every season ends, and those are all "canon" (unless they say otherwise, which they have done). regardless, while the q&a's are not at all necessary to listen to, they are HIGHLY interesting and i'd definitely recommend you listen to them when you're done with the corresponding season! not only do they answer some questions about things you might have missed otherwise, but they also go into their creative processes and talk about behind the scenes stuff, which is super fascinating. not to mention, alex & jonathan have a great dynamic and are very fun to listen to, you can tell that they mesh really well and are very good friends :)

sorry this answer got so long but uhh tl;dr this is my plea to all of you to please listen to the magnus archives🥺

[incoherentlynonexistent-blog]

I'm beginning to see how life works...

It's nothing like its portrayed in movies

It's not even remotely close to the books you read

Life isn't high school all the time

You may have been successful then

But being in the real world

You're unknown

You're unsuccessful

Nothing is garunteed

Not everything you work for is granted

Sometimes you just get left behind

And plenty of times you'll be left unanswered

All I see is working hard to live

And hardly living to work

I'm hardly living at all

So many negative thoughts

With a bad past

It's led me to believe this world is a horrible place

Not everybody will stay

Not everybody means well

Nobody is perfect

You Can't have the perfect life

The people who do you wrong will live life without punishment

Sometimes you're just destined to not have a Damn thing

Often you find yourself wishing for something

I wish I could be loved and wanted by someone....

This world has taught me...

That nobody loves anybody any more

This world is cold and dead

Perhaps that's my traumatic past speaking fir itself...

Not everybody has a bad life....

Even when you do right

Despite you being a good person

You're sentenced to a life of misery and pain...

I've yet to learn if anything will and can change.....

I'd hope so

This world has taught me to only become cold as the dark depths of empty space that surrounds it......

This world has taught me nothing but to fear death....

I know nothing but to wait for it because it's like that's all there's left for me to do....

This world has taught me that it's not really worth living in....

Why even bother when you get knocked down after a certain distance....

I don't know of anything more than failure.....

I fail to understand how my life has become this

I fail to have any hope that I'm meant for anything better....

I feel as if I'm just fighting a losing battle....

I know nothing of what I want

This world has taught me nothing but constant denial....

I refuse to try in fear of being rejected....

I've learned doesn't matter how hard I try

If I'm someone not as worthy as someine else....

Despite how much more I'm qualified and promising of a person

I'm screwed either way

"Nice guys finish last"

"If you ain't first, you're last"

The world has taught me that movies literally relate more to life than you think though

Talledega nights has it right....

I'm not in first

I'm in dead last

Heading toward the same finish line as we all are

Death....

I'm trying to be ok with being last

It means I'm taking my time

I'm enjoying every moment i have on this earth...

Even though I'm not wanted

I have yet to belong anywhere

I'm soaking in the last few miles that I still have....

I know we die in the end

I fear of dying alone

I fear of not having a life with anybody other than my family....

I understand life means more than that....

I'm just tired of always being by myself....

I'm tired of losing people....

Damn it

If this world has taught me anything positive

It's that every one is in your life for a reason

And I'm only living hoping to God I soon see why

I hope that soon everything falls back into place

Especially when it was falling apart so long ago

How far I've come

I see the brighter side

It's not completely over

But I do see a good change soon

I hope I'm right

I hope to God whatever it is

I hope its meant to stay

Ill do whatever it takes to make it so

I mean I'll do anything

If it prevents me from being alone

If it keeps me from getting suicidally depressed....

Than God please let it be...

Let this one be true

I feel like giving up

But this world has taught me that you have to see the brighter side of things

In order to get the big picture

Unfortunetly some things aren't always that easy

I'm not long from what I feel were my darkest days.....

I've never felt so much pain as I did then

Now it's still a recovering effort....

This world has taught me

That not all wounds heal at a fast pace...

Not all heart break kill you

But it leaves you close to it

I have my days

I beg for death

Because idk what else to do

I hate how things happen....

But once they've changed.....

It's a whole different ball game....

And I'm losing at that once again....

Go me....

Pretty much playing for pride...

When I die....

Even though it'll be alone

Atleast ill die proud to have left something that ill always will be remembered by