#remove from oven and let cool

[khealywu]

dead heat btwn taco dip and buffalo chicken dip for me

I am honestly deeply curious about people's preferences from this list. Mostly as I just made one of these and brought it to a potluck and it is gone. Leave your distaste for Midwest cuisine at the door please. Yes, all of it will fluff you up for winter, that's like 63% of the point.

But for real? Which one do you just... almost hate yourself for loving the most?

[gentlefxlk]

Olympic Chocolate Muffins! (since the recipe is paywalled on WaPo)

Cool the muffins and ganache completely before assembly, about 30-40 minutes

Makes 12 muffins

Muffin Ingredients:

¾ cup (180 ml) whole or reduced fat milk

¼ cup (60 ml) water

2 teaspoons instant coffee powder

½ cup (50 grams) unsweetened cocoa powder

4 tablespoons (56 grams) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

½ cup + 1/3 cup (145 total grams) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate chunks

2 cups (250 grams) AP flour

1 tablespoon baking powser

¼ teaspoon fine salt

½ cup (110 grams) packed dark brown sugar

½ cup (100 grams) granulated sugar

¼ cup (60 ml) neutral oil

2 large eggs, room temp

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/3 cup (60 grams) chopped milk chocolate, plus more for topping

Ganache Ingredients:

2/3 cup (115 grams) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate chunks

½ cup (120 ml) heavy cream

1/8 teaspoon fine salt

Directions

Position rack in the middle of the oven, preheat 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a regular sized muffin pan with liners.

In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine milk, water, and instant coffee. Bring to a simmer, whisking occasionally.

Add cocoa powder and whisk.

Decrease heat to low, add ½ cup (85 grams) of the chocolate chunks and butter, whisk until melted and smooth.

Transfer to a large bowl and cool slightly

In a medium bowl, whisk flour, baking powder, and salt.

To chocolate mixture, whisk in brown sugar, granulated sugar, oil, eggs, and vanilla.

Add about 1/3 of the flour mixture, whisk until incorporated

Add remaining flour, folding with a spatula until no streaks remain.

Fold in remaining 1/3 cup (60 grams) chocolate chunks and chopped milk chocolate, until just combined. Do not overmix.

Using a ¼ cup scoop or measuring cup, divide batter among 12 muffin cups, filling to the top of the pan.

Sprinkle additional chocolate chunks on top.

Transfer pan to oven, and immediately reduce oven temperature to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

Bake for 22-24 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Start on ganache now

Let muffins cool in pan for 10 minutes, then use a knife or piping tip to cut an approximately ¾ inch wide hole in the center of each muffin. (use the centers as ice cream topping or eat now!)

Let muffins cool completely.

GANACHE: in a small saucepan over medium-low heat, combine chocolate chunks, heavy cream, and salt. Cook, stirring frequently, until melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let cool completely.

Once muffins and ganache are completely cool, spoon or pipe ganache into the center of the muffin, until slightly overflowed. Serve immediately.

[kairoot]

── 𝒮𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝒩𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠． 에이티즈 (HYUNG LINE.)

‧₊˚ 𝓼𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when your pregnancy prevents you from getting a good night’s rest 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 : husband!ateez x pregnant! 𝑓．𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 : fluff 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 : no 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 : pet names, reader is slightly afraid of becoming a new parent, not proofread, lmk if I missed any !

— ( 𝓂𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑛’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠 ) : ateez song reference in here somewhere 😫 pls leave reblogs, they are much appreciated !! ♡︎

hyung line’s headcanons under the cut ! ♡︎

໒˚⋆ 𝓀𝐡𝐣.

as you sit up in bed, you throw the duvet off of your body. you felt like you were melting and the growing human inside of you wasn’t making your state any better, the kicks growing more and more painful by the minute.

you tapped your phone, the screen lighting up immediately as the time read, ‘2:34’. you sighed, running a hand down your face, growing irritated at the restlessness that you felt.

after giving up on trying to sleep all together, you ventured to the room next to yours.

it was your husband’s home studio, to which he sat in at that very moment, one side of his headphones hanging off of his ear.

he hadn’t noticed you until your arms wrapped around him, resting your head on his shoulder.

he jumped slightly, removing the headphones, “babe? what are you doing awake?”

you moved your arms from around him, standing next to him as a hand came to rest on your growing belly.

“your baby’s like a champion soccer player in here.. also, the room is warmer than usual tonight.” you chuckled.

he smiled slightly, his eyes coming to meet your stomach. he placed his hand next to yours, feeling the constant thump.

“sunshine… are you hurting mama?” he asked in a soothing voice, the baby kicking in response. hongjoong chuckled, rubbing where his hand rested.

“careful with her, okay? she needs some sleep. and so do you.”

with that, he closed the notebook that he had been scribbling in before, placing his headphones elsewhere. he turned off the lights in the studio before leading you back to your room.

you both took your spots on the mattress, cuddling in close. hongjoong’s hand came to your belly once more, continuing to rub it gently. soon enough, the kicking had ceased and your eyes had fluttered shut.

joong smiled, kissing the top of your head.

“love you so much, pumpkin.”

໒˚⋆ 𝓅𝐬𝐡.

the floorboards creaked beneath your feet as you entered your kitchen, flicking the overhead light on. you sighed, the cool air giving you some relief from the warm air you felt in the bedroom.

you pulled the fridge open gently, not wanting anything to fall over. the only thing that seemed appetizing to you was the last bit of leftovers that you and hwa had from the other day. you grabbed it from the top shelf, taking it over to the oven to heat it up.

as you transferred your meal into an oven safe pan, you heard soft footsteps behind you, causing a smile to appear on your face.

a pair of warm arms wrapped around you, larger hands resting on your baby bump.

“what are you doing up so late?” seonghwa mumbled into your neck, voice low and raspy as his eyes remained closed.

“come back to bed, love..”

“your daughters’ up, so i’m up.” you chuckled, making him hum in response as he placed small kisses in the crook of your neck.

“she’s always up.. how do you sleep at night?” he asked, letting out a laugh.

“i don’t.” you shrugged.

he giggled once more, watching you prepare your meal.

“do you want me to help with that? i’ll put on our favorite romcom.”

you smiled, nodding, “yeah, but i wanna get my food first.”

“of course, baby.”

໒˚⋆ 𝒿𝐲𝐡.

the light from the tv brightened up your bedroom as you sat against the headboard, watching one of your favorite shows.

the bathroom door opened and your husband walked out, hair springing in random directions. his gaze turned to you, seeing you wide awake and not an ounce of tiredness in your eyes.

“honey?” he looked between you and the television for a moment.

“what’re you doing up? thought you were asleep..” he walked over to the bed, settling back in his spot and pulling the comforter over his legs.

you shook your head, “no, i’ve been awake for a few hours now. can’t sleep.”

yunho slid down in the bed so that he was lying on your belly. your bundle of joy seemed to know he was there, as you felt two kicks right where your husband had laid his head.

he giggled, placing a kiss on your belly.

“hi, baby,” he mumbled against it, placing another.

your baby kicked and kicked, getting excited at the sound of yunho’s voice. you smiled but winced at the force of the kicks.

“whoa, whoa, okay.” he rubbed where the kicks were, not wanting them to cause any more pain.

“you’re too excited, love bug. it’s very late.” he spoke to your baby quietly, trying to calm them down. and it seemed to work in a way, as you felt your baby move around a bit but eventually settle down.

“why don’t you try getting some sleep, baby? i know how tired you’ve been.” he looked up at you, smiling softly.

“but i can’t.” you pouted.

“how about i sing to you then, hm? would you like that?” he asked, continuing the gentle rubs on your belly.

you nodded, reaching down to play with his hair as you closed your eyes, waiting to hear his voice.

໒˚⋆ 𝓀𝐲𝐬. (i swear these are just yeo’s initals)

you sat in the nursery that everyone had helped make for the baby on the way, refolding clothes and reorganizing. you tried not to be loud, seeing as it was nearly 2am.

you had crept out of bed about 30 minutes before, your thoughts not letting you get a wink of sleep. you’d been so caught up in your thoughts, worried that you wouldn’t be the parent that you wanted to be when your baby arrived. you and yeosang were first time parents so you didn’t wanna mess things up.

as you sat on the floor, the door to the baby’s room had opened slightly, your husband peeking in to see you sitting down.

“babe?” he called softly.

you turned around quickly, not expecting him to be awake.

“yeo.. what’re you doing awake?” you asked. you could tell that he had just woken up, as he squinted his eyes, trying to adjust them to the dim light in the room.

“i should be asking you that.” he chuckled, entering the room and leaving the door cracked.

he took a seat next to you on the carpet, looking down at the pile of clothes you had folded.

“you bored or something?”

“no,” you laughed. “i just..”

he looked over at you now, letting you know that he was listening.

“i just don’t wanna mess things up, yeo.”

“what do you mean?”

you sighed, “i mean we’re first time parents. i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s right for our baby.”

“honey,” he started, smiling, “yes this is our first time. so you know we’re bound to make mistakes, right? not everything will be perfect.”

you nodded in agreement, knowing he was right but you couldn’t help your overthinking.

“we’re a team, okay? you aren’t doing this alone, i’ll be with you.”

you didn’t respond to him verbally but just hugged him instead, silently thanking him. he held onto you tightly, rubbing your back and reminding you that everything would be fine.

᪥

TAGLIST: @haechansbbg @contyynishimura @sasfransisco @kgneptun @jungwonderz @enha-stars @dioll @jakesangel @cupidscourt @violetwitchmcu @haohaoshoe @randomgirl02228 @wonsdoll @powerpuffstuts @flwrstqr @elysianiki — send an ask to join.

[jjenthusee]

Aches

Pairing: jason todd x reader

A/N: i burnt my arm making baked potatoes and i wanted to write a drabble on that lol ENJOY :) comment ur thoughts

Summary: Nothing gets past Jason and you don’t mind a caring man at your side. You don’t know how baked potatoes led to an intimate conversation between you two, but anything for the man willing to drop everything for you.

Tags: potato troubles, fluff, hurt/comfort if u squint, soft jason, trigger warning: slight description of burns

Word Count: 1.4k

You stared wordlessly at the burn, oven mitts still in your hands.

You had seared two areas of your arm. It hadn’t hurt when you had accidentally touched the edges of the hot oven, but looking at it made your face scrunch.

The pain had only started once you looked at the damage. Two thin lines of seared skin, still slightly pink from the sudden heat.

Great.

You just wanted baked potatoes and you were going to place them on the rack, but at the cost of your lack of coordination, you grazed the oven with your arm.

The sound of water from the bathroom had shut off, Jason appearing in the corner of your eye as you stood there.

You were tired and another problem had been placed in your hands, or on your arm.

“What you cookin’ sweets—“ Jason lazily walked, trying to rub out the knots in his neck from a late-night patrol.

When you stood there, wordlessly holding oven mitts, had Jason sensed something was off.

Like the analyzer he was, his head perked up, a moment before he was assessing your entire body and kitchen as he briskly walked to you.

Despite being in his leisure clothes, he was ready for any sort of intrusion, but before he could pull out any sort of weaponry mounted to the underside of the kitchen table, did he spot the burns.

In a delicate motion, he turned your arm. You held onto the festive oven mitt as he adjusted your arm.

“Oh, sweets.” Jason softly whispered.

Judging by the preheated oven, potatoes, and the oven mitts you loosely gripped, Jason had put the pieces of events in the correct sequence.

“Lets get this cleaned up and then I can apply a cream.” Jason grabbed the mitts from your palms. “Then I’ll get you some medicine, in case it still hurts, sound okay?”

You nodded, looking down at your own mistake before you sighed.

“Yeah, thanks Jay.” You squeezed his forearm in a quiet thanks.

In a softened gaze, Jason rubbed your hand in return.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before. I’m gonna grab the first aid, you wanna sit on the couch?”

You let yourself sink into the cushions as Jason cleaned up what wasn’t already placed inside the oven.

He sat in front of you, his sheer size leveling out as he sat on the floor, removing the cap off the burn cream you kept in the first aid and placing a cool towel over your arm.

“Isn’t the floor cold?” You watched Jason focus on addressing your arm, first aid kit right by his side. His eyebrows firmly in a line—his concentration contorting his face.

It made you smile.

“It’s not.” Jason intently kept his eyes down, his lashes angled to his cheek.

You raised your free arm to play with his messy hair. It had fallen onto his forehead, spread in clumps.

“You’re lying. My feet were freezing earlier.” You continued to smile as you played with his hair strands, twirling his white streak in between your fingers. “Weather is getting cold, you might have to stay over every night to keep me warm.”

Jason had been growing out his hair the longer the two of you stayed together.

Partly from a passing comment that you liked his hair long and from how he felt comfortable enough to focus on his appearance for once.

He had struggled looking in the mirror for more than a passing glance, but with every reassuring compliment, cheek kiss, and late-night holding had he started to open up to the idea of treasuring his appearance.

Maybe it wasn’t initially for himself, but you wanted to lift him in the ways he had always worshipped your own skin, your heart—your entire self.

Jason’s chuckle interrupted your thoughts. Your eyes lost on the smile lines appearing on the edges of his mouth.

Your heart fluttered at the thought of how they would age as he did. How you can make him laugh and smile to make deeper lines.

You hand slowly drifted down to his eyebrow, to his cheeks, down to small scars littering his face.

Rubbing each blurred skin, sealing the past in a lightened patch.

Your hand drifted again.

Jason flinched at the feel of your subtle fingers at the edges of the misshapen “J” that littered his face.

Your eyes widen at the realization of your thoughtless movements.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t—“ You pulled your hand away.

“No, it’s—it’s fine. Really.” Jason clasped onto your fleeing hand with his own. Your cluster of hands hanging in the air.

In one breath, Jason slowly moved your hand back to his cheek. His eyes closing just before your finger touched back onto his scar—like he was bracing for the same sting he felt all those years ago.

You sadly watched the vulnerability of the man sitting on the floor in front of you. His large hands, gracefully aiding you to touch a deepened hurt that goes past the barriers of his skin.

As soon as he let out the breath he was holding, did you move your fingers again.

The trust he had in you, to touch him so casually made your eyes burn.

When you got hurt, to the smallest of cuts, he was always adamant in first aid, taking all precautions to make sure you were fine.

It worried you how he needed to make sure he checked all the boxes before he could be rest assured, so he didn’t toss and turn as much as he usually did.

You expected as much for tonight, knowing deep in your bones he was going to come back tonight after patrol to check up on you.

But what really made your heart sting was the sloppy care he gave himself. Not giving himself the time to heal in the ways he deserved.

You leaned forward, not caring about interrupting Jason’s work, before you rested your forehead on his hair.

You could smell his shampoo as you rested your eyes, breathing as you cradled his face and leaned your head.

Curling over him like a shield.

“Sweets, it’s okay.” Jason mumbled into your shirt. Despite his reassurances, he had leaned into your warmth, resting his face into the center of your heartbeat, counting each pulse.

“I know, I just…get sad. Not at you, but at the fact I want to grab onto every single being who made you hurt and hurl them into the sketchy dumpster outside.” You rubbed your head against his, tickling your face with Jason’s hair.

“If that’s how you feel sad, I don’t wanna see you angry.” Jason rested his hand onto your waist, rubbing circles into your side.

His words were playful, but you could hear the slight strain as he listened to your protective words.

You smiled to the feel of his hand and the bundle of limbs you created with the gentle man sitting on your cold floor.

“Gotham wouldn’t be able to rest until I’m done.” You kissed Jason’s head, still gently soothing the ache of his scar with your words and hand. As he subtly shook under your touch.

A moment of silence before you felt his warm breath on your chest.

“And I’ll be right next to you.” Jason barely whispered, his grip tightening on you. Your shirt wrinkling at the desperation.

You held Jason as he tried to hide in your embrace, suddenly feeling overwhelmed at your words—the angry protectiveness you held over him.

As you rubbed soothing circles on Jason’s back, you lifted you head at the realization that the oven was still on.

“Jay, I forgot to set the timer.” You gazed at the oven.

Jason lifted his head to look up at you.

“My potatoes.” You quietly murmured. “I didn’t get battle scars for me to not get a single cooked potato.”

Jason smiled as he calmed, slightly pulling out of your embrace while letting all his emotional tension slowly wisp away at your potato conflict.

“It hasn’t been that long. Probably still needs a couple more minutes.” Jason lifted himself to kiss your cheek, to soothe your potato burdens. “I still have to wrap this, so it should be ready by then.”

You sighed into Jason’s hair again. His messy stands moving at your breath.

“I’m going to lie to Roy that I fought off an intruder and saved us both.” You laid your head on top of Jason’s as you gazed at the enemy, your oven.

“And you got a burn mark?” Jason chuckled.

“Yes, a miscalculated punch.” You sighed deeply again.

“Whatever you say sweets.” Jason kissed the top of the bandages, rubbing your skin around them and then leaving a final kiss on your forehead. “Let me get your potatoes.”

[feyburner]

I have a new favorite soup:

Japanese Sweet Potato Soup with Crispy Soy-Maple Brussels Sprouts.

I have made this soup like 3 times in the past month. It hits every time. It is my comfort soup.

It’s crazy good. Extremely simple, but has such a unique texture and flavor profile. The Japanese sweet potatoes have such an amazing flavor that you don’t need anything else but some onion, broth, coconut milk, and a touch of soy-maple seasoning from the brussels sprouts. The sweet potato is 100% the star. It’s rich, nutty, savory-sweet, and the texture is a silky puree.

Here is the recipe.

INGREDIENTS

3-4 Japanese sweet potatoes (red outside, white inside—not purple Murasaki), peeled and chopped

1/2 large yellow onion, chopped

4-5 cups chicken or vegetable broth

1 x 14oz can coconut milk or cream

1-2 lbs brussels sprouts, chopped into thirds

olive oil, salt, freshly ground black pepper

2 Tbsp soy sauce

2 Tbsp maple syrup or honey

DIRECTIONS

1. In a dutch oven or large pot, sauté the onions in a little butter or oil until softened and just beginning to brown.

2. Add chopped potatoes. Add broth. Bring to a boil, reduce to a low boil or simmer, and let cook for 15-20 minutes until potatoes are fork tender. **If desired, leave a small portion of uncooked potato, chopped into matchsticks, out of the soup until after blending and then add back in during the last 20 minutes for a little texture.

3. Turn off heat. Using an immersion blender*, blend the soup until mostly smooth. Add the coconut milk and continue blending until you have a silky smooth, glossy puree texture. (In the beginning you can use a potato masher to give the blender a head start.)

4. Simmer another 15-20 minutes, stirring and scraping the bottom of the pot frequently to avoid sticking, until ready to serve.

5. While soup is cooking, roast brussels sprouts: Heat oven to 425°. Toss chopped brussels sprouts in olive oil, salt, and pepper. Spread in an even layer in a cast iron or sheet pan. Roast 30 minutes until browning, then mix together soy sauce and maple syrup. Drizzle over sprouts and toss and turn them. Roast an additional 10-15 minutes until very dark brown and crispy.

6. Add some of the brussels sprouts to the finished soup and use the rest to go on top.

*You can do this in batches with a blender or food processor, but be very careful: hot liquid in an enclosed space creates pressure and it will spit when you remove the lid each time. If using a blender, let it cool 10 minutes, then stir in coconut milk to cool further, then blend.

[emilieautumnarchives]

Orkus International (Nov/Dec/Jan 2007/2008)

This English edition of Orkus featured EA's "Mad Tea Party." It was printed in black and white, but colored versions have been floating around for a while. The magazine also included a Laced/Unlaced Poster.

Speculation: Because the scans I have are in German, I assume this also appeared in the December 2007 issue of Orkus Magazine.

Note: I typed out the German myself. Excuse any misspellings or weirdness; I don't speak German.

EMILIE AUTUMN: MAD TEA PARTY Taking time out from the madness to enjoy teatime doesn't mean you have to be sane...

Treue Fans wissen, dass Emilie Autumns Welt nicht hinter ihrer wegwelsenden Musik aufort. Mit ihrem Asylum hat sich die bildhubsche, arbeitssuchtige Victoriandustrial-Prinzessin einen ureigenen, geheimnisvollen und faszinierenden Kosmos kreiert, and dem man bisher nur auf ihren Live-Shows oder in den fabelhaften Booklets ihrer CDs teilhaben konnte. Nun jedoch offnet Emilie die Tore in ihre Welt und bittet die Orkus-Leser zu einer unvergesslichen Teestunde im einzigartigen Emilie Autumn-Stil. Kostliche Kuchen, unerwartete Dinge aus Marzipan, gar rosige Bonbonbs, Schoko-Schlemmereien... wenn Miss Autumn schon ze einer Teestunde ladt, dann aber bitte mit sehr viel Stil und Genuss. Und damit diese Teestunde im viktorianischen Asylum-Stil kein Einzelfall bleiben muss, hat Emilie gleich ihre Lieblingsrezepte mitgebracht, die wir fur Euch aufrgrund ihrer unvergleichbaren Sprache in unveranderter, englischer Form gesammelt haben.

Highly Doubtful Teacake with Very Suspicious Crème

What makes this teacake so very “doubtful” is the addition of fresh lavender, the historical meaning for which is “distrustful”. So be careful whom you share it with…

Teacake Ingredients:

1 cup milk

3 Tbsp. fresh chopped lavender flowers

2 cups all-purpose flour

1½ tsp. baking powder

¼ tsp. salt

6 Tbsp. butter, softened

1 cup sugar

2 large eggs

Instructions:

Grease and flour a loaf pan, and no, I won’t tell you what size because it won’t matter anyway. You’re going to use whatever pan you have, and I’m not holding that against you, I do the same. Half of my recipes were created entirely out of being on the road touring, and really needing to make tarts, but having not the proper equipment. Baking is an adventure, so do treat it as such.

In any case! After greasing and flouring, kindly preheat your oven to 325°F. In a small saucepan, heat the milk, adding the chopped lavender and bring almost to a boil, then remove from heat and let steep until cool.

Sift flour, baking powder and salt together in a bowl. In another bowl, thrash the butter about until it’s light and creamy and gradually add sugar, then eggs, one at a time, thrashing even more until the whole mess is light and fluffy and much prettier than you ever imagined raw eggs ought to be. Add flour mixture and lavender milk alternating between each addition, and mix until batter is just blended, no longer.

Spoon the flowery goodness into your mystery loaf pan and bake for 50 minutes, or until a wooden skewer inserted in center comes out clean. Leave your cake to cool in the pan 5 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool. When completely cooled, dust with confectioners’ sugar and garnish with sprigs of fresh or candied lavender. If you don’t know how to candy lavender, then read ahead on the section on candying rose petals and you’ll get the idea. Serve with a dollop of Very Suspicious Crème.

Crème Ingredients:

8 oz. cream cheese

1 Tbsp. heavy cream

½ tsp. fresh chopped lavender flowers

3 Tbsp. confectioners’ sugar

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

Blend the cream cheese with the heavy cream until smooth and fluffy. Add in the lavender, confectioners’ sugar, and vanilla, beating until silky and very suspicious looking. Serve with Teacakes of all sort, but especially highly doubtful ones.

TEA TIPS: When serving tea to your guests, be sure to present a variety of sugars. Piping tiny frosting flowers onto heart-shaped sugar lumps and displaying rock candy sugar in various colours will set your table sparkling! Save some for the rats…

Cyanide Tea Scones with Clotted Cream

Ah, sweet cyanide…what can we say about cyanide? You surely know it’s historical impact as a popular ingredient of both murder and suicide. But did you know that cyanide is derived from almonds? Being my personal flavour, you’ll see a somewhat excessive if not altogether inappropriate use of it in the following recipes. And as for the clotted cream, well, that sounds bad enough. Doesn’t it?

Scone Ingredients:

4 cups all-purpose flour

4 tsp. baking powder

½ cup sugar

1 tsp. salt

8 Tbsp. very cold, unsalted butter, cut into ¼ inch cubes

1 cup milk

6 black teabags of the best quality you can find, I prefer Twinings

2 eggs, beaten

½ tsp. pure almond extract

½ cup sliced almonds

1 Tbsp. cream

¼ cup sugar

¼ cup finely chopped almonds

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 400°F. In a chilled glass bowl, sift together flour, baking powder, sugar and salt. Using your fingers if you know what you’re doing or a pastry blender if you don’t, cut in the bits of butter until the crumbly mess is the size of smallish bees. Set the bowl into you refrigerator or out in the snow while you carry on. In a small saucepan, bring milk almost to a boil. Add tea bags, cover, and brew 5 minutes. Remove tea bags and cool. Beat in the eggs, almond extract, and sliced almonds. Gradually add tea mixture to flour mixture, stirring until just combined, no more.

Turn dough out onto a floured baking sheet and pat into a circle. Slice the dough into 16 triangular wedges. Alternately you can use heart shaped baking pans like the one I used here. Either way, brush dough with cream and sprinkle generously with sugar and chopped almonds. Bake 20 minutes or until golden, always best to sit right by the oven the first few times you try out a new recipe just to verify that everything’s going along as it should. Your oven is a unique creature you really should get to know, because no two are alike. Once done, cool scones on a wire rack. Serve with The Asylum’s Own Clotted Cream. Makes 16 scones.

Clotted Cream Ingredients:

½ cup cold heavy cream

3 Tbsp. confectioner’s sugar

½ cup sour cream

¼ tsp. almond extract

In a chilled bowl, beat cream until stiff peaks form, and don’t think you can’t do this by hand, because you can. As the cream begins to stiffen up, sift in the confectioner’s sugar. Gently fold in the sour cream, and almond extract, and voila! Clots galore! Chill until use. This fluffy topping for scones and crumpets is also called “Devonshire Cream,“ but it doesn’t quite have the same ring to it…clots clots clots clotty clots…

Marzipan Leeches & Plague Rats

Yes, more almonds…but that is hardly important when it is merely a delicious modeling tool for some truly gourmet bonbons. Marzipan rats will charm your guests, marzipan leeches will horrify them. Just let them wait until you’ve given them all names…

Ingredients:

1 package (8 oz.) Marzipan (baker’s almond paste, available everywhere)

¼ cup confectioner’s sugar

2 Tbsp. Amaretto liquer

1 tsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

1 thin-tipped paintbrush

To begin with, open your Marzipan and cover it with a damp cloth as it likes to dry out and then what have you got? Next, add a bit of the cocoa powder to a few drops of the liquer and mix it with the paintbrush, experimenting with ratios to achieve a palette of lovely browns that you can use to accent your rats and leeches. Sprinkle some sugar onto your hands and work surface and you’re ready to begin a life-changing adventure! 

Leeches:

Leeches can be sculptured in myriad ways, but I will explain my method as a mere example.

Roll a small ball of dough until it becomes a rope, then roll the rope between your hands until it is thinner at one end.

Curl the rope to make your leech, posing him in whatever manner you find suitable, keeping in mind his station and lineage.

Roll two tiny balls of dough for the eyes, and attach them to the top of your leech’s head, then make an indentation within each eye with a very small object.

After waiting at least 30 minutes to let the leeches dry, use your cocoa-liquer mixture to paint stripes and details onto your leech, and place him in a bonbon paper to be displayed proudly in your best leech jar.

Plague Rats:

Roll the rat’s body from a small ball of dough into an oval with one end pointed for the nose.

Roll two little dough bits into ear shapes and press them into the sides of your rat’s head in an appropriate spot.

Roll a thin snake of dough and attach to the rat’s body, curling it over his back for the tail.

Using the wooden end of your paintbrush, make the indentations for the eyes.

After waiting at least 30 minutes to let the rat dry, use your cocoa-liquer mixture to paint shadows and details onto your rat, and place him in a bonbon paper to be displayed proudly on your tea table.

Cucumber Hatred Tea Sandwiches

If revenge is a dish best served cold, then this is the dish they were talking about. The Historical meaning of basil is ‘Hatred’ and these delicate finger sandwiches are loaded with it…who’s cool as a cucumber now?

Ingredients:

8 oz. cream cheese, softened

3 Tbsp. cream

½ tsp. salt

¼ tsp. black pepper

3 Tbsp. fresh chives, chopped

6 slices wheat bread 

6 slices white bread

1 English (seedless) cucumber 

1 Bushel of fresh basil leaves (approx. 24)

Beat together the cream cheese and cream until smooth. Add salt, pepper and chives, blending well. Spread 1 slice of wheat bread and one slice of white bread with cream cheese mixture. Arrange a layer of cucumber slices on the wheat bread and top with basil leaves. Place white bread slice on top and smash sandwich down ever so gently with a rolling pin. Trim crusts, and cut into triangles. Repeat with remaining bread to make 24 hate-filled sandwiches.

Rose Petal Poison Sandwiches

Poison? Well, not if you go into your garden and pick yourself some fresh, chemical free petals. Otherwise, you’ll get sick and the sarcasm will be lost…

Ingredients:

6 oz. sweet butter packed in fresh rose petals1 overnight, softened 

¼ cup confectioners’ sugar 

1 cup fresh, clean rose petals (from your garden, pesticide-free) 

½ sliced almonds

12 slices white bread

To assemble one sandwich, spread two slices of bread with rose scented butter. Sift sugar over buttered sides of bread. Arrange a layer of rose petals, followed by a layer of almonds. Top with the other slice of sugared, buttered bread, and press down with rolling pin. Trim crusts and cut into triangles, hearts, rounds to suit your fancy. Sift sugar over sandwiches and top each with a candied rose petal (petals dipped in beaten egg white and rolled in granulated sugar, then dried until crisp). Repeat with remaining ingredients to equal 24 sandwiches.

Royally Mad Tea

A standard British Royal Tea is served with a glass of champagne and one o’ sherry. Call me crazy, but for my Royally Mad Tea, I prefer champagne and absinthe.

[kaijuno]

Beekeeper’s Lemon Lavender Cheesecake Recipe🍯💜✨

Ingredients:

For the Crust:

1 1/2 cups (180 g) graham cracker crumbs 🍪

1/4 cup (50 g) granulated sugar 🍬

1/2 cup (115 g) unsalted butter, melted 🧈

For the Cheesecake Filling:

16 oz (450 g) cream cheese, softened 🧀

1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar 🍬

3 large eggs 🥚

1/2 cup (120 ml) sour cream 🥛

1/4 cup (60 ml) fresh lemon juice 🍋

Zest of 1 lemon 🍋

1 tablespoon culinary lavender buds 🌿

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 🍦

For the Honeycomb Topping:

1/2 cup (120 g) granulated sugar 🍬

1/4 cup (60 ml) honey 🍯

2 tablespoons water 💧

1 teaspoon baking soda 🥄

Instructions:

Prepare the Crust:

Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9-inch springform pan.

In a bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and melted butter. Mix until well combined.

Press the mixture firmly into the bottom of the prepared pan. Bake for 10 minutes, then remove and let cool.

Make the Cheesecake Filling:

In a large mixing bowl, beat the softened cream cheese until smooth.

Add the sugar and beat until well combined.

Mix in the eggs one at a time, ensuring each is fully incorporated.

Add the sour cream, lemon juice, lemon zest, lavender buds, and vanilla extract. Mix until smooth and creamy.

Bake the Cheesecake:

Pour the cheesecake filling over the cooled crust and smooth the top.

Bake for 55-60 minutes, or until the center is set but still slightly jiggly. Turn off the oven and let the cheesecake cool in the oven with the door slightly ajar for about 1 hour.

Cool and Chill:

Remove the cheesecake from the oven and let it cool completely at room temperature. Then refrigerate for at least 4 hours or overnight.

Prepare the Honeycomb Topping:

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine sugar, honey, and water. Stir until the sugar dissolves.

Allow the mixture to boil without stirring until it reaches a deep amber color (about 300°F or 150°C on a candy thermometer).

Remove from heat and quickly stir in the baking soda. The mixture will bubble up.

Pour onto a lined baking sheet and let it cool completely. Once set, break into pieces.

Serve:

Slice the chilled cheesecake and top each slice with pieces of honeycomb. Enjoy your Beekeeper’s Lemon Lavender Cheesecake! 🎉

Enjoy!

[worldlxvlys]

hey babyyy i have an actual real req this time cause im too lazy to write it and i know you’ll eat it up (plus it fits dwb chris a lot)

alr, chris goes away on a trip to visit family or wtv and when he gets back reader surprises him with a freshly healed tongue piercing. do with that what u will

i love u bestieee

brownies

dealer! chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: smutttt, p in v, cream pie, oral fixation, oral (male receiving), drug use (edibles), cursing

a/n: I LOVE YOU @bernardenjoyer <333

CHRIS’ POV

when i opened her front door, i was immediately met with the smell of something sweet.

the scent of chocolate hung in the air, the warm air of her apartment making it feel inviting. there was music playing in the background, being overpowered by the sound of her screaming out the lyrics.

when i rounded the corner, i was met with the source of the singing. she wore a t-shirt of mine, it was long enough to just cover her ass.

she was wiping down the counter, though she was doing more dancing than cleaning. she was barely able to get the words out, her movements leaving her out of breath.

when she stopped dancing, she leaned on the counter in front of her to steady her breathing.

i quietly made my way up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. she jumped slightly at the touch, relaxing into my hold when she realized it was me.

“what are you making?” i asked, leaving a kiss to her cheek.

i felt her smile grow wider against my lips, “special brownies” she answered.

“special? what’s so special about them?” i asked as she craned her neck to look at me.

“you’ll see” she whispered, before closing the gap between us.

she had a small bit of batter on her lips, which i eagerly collected on my tongue with a swipe.

she took that as a cue to allow my tongue entrance into her mouth, which i graciously took.

as my tongue skimmed along the surface of hers, i felt something cool and hard rub against mine. i removed my lips from hers at the feeling, watching as a shy smile grew on them.

she stuck her tongue out, showing off the small jewelry that laid embedded in it.

“you- you got…” i was barely able to finish my question, my brain going wild with images of her tongue in different places.

“yup, you like it?” she asked, taking in my bewildered expression.

“what do you think?” i asked as i turned her body to face mine, pushing my lips back onto hers.

she let out a quiet moan into my mouth, her hand cupping my jaw as the other tugged on my hair.

my own hands found her waist, pushing it into the counter behind her while she began to place kisses down my neck.

“missed you so much, baby” she whispered into my skin.

before i could say anything back, i was cut off by the ringing of her kitchen timer.

i kept a firm grip on her waist, while she licked a stripe up my neck and pressed a kiss to my jaw.

i let out a moan at the feeling of her piercing dragging against the skin.

“i gotta get that, chris” she whispered against me, grabbing my hands. she placed a kiss to each of them before moving to the oven.

she grabbed an oven mitt and bent over to grab the brownies, giving me a perfect view of her lacy panties that were previously hidden under her shirt.

just as quickly as she had bent over, she stood upright again. she placed the baking pan on top of the stove, throwing the mitt onto the counter beside her.

now that the brownies were fully baked, the smell of the chocolate grew stronger. i went to reach for one, only to have my hand smacked away.

“chris, they need to cool” she spoke, “plus, they’re not even cut yet” she pointed out, moving the pan farther away from me.

“ok, then i’ll cut them” i spoke, reaching for a knife.

she let out a quick sigh before cutting me a piece and putting it on a plate.

“they’re your favorite” she spoke as she handed me the plate, a knowing grin grew on my face at that.

“edibles?” i asked, causing her to nod excitedly. she cut herself a piece of her own, quick to put it on a plate before burning her fingers.

we both ate our brownies, catching each other up on our day and talking about whatever came to our minds.

suddenly, she pulled me into a tight hug, whispering sweet words into my ear.

“missed you so fucking much” she spoke before pressing a kiss to the tip of my ear.

“missed talking to you face-to-face like this” she said as she placed her hands on my hips.

“missed kissing you” she spoke against my skin, trailing kisses down my neck. her hands snuck under my shirt, nails dragging across my chest as she moved lower down my body.

her eyes never left mine as she bunched my shirt up to my chest, causing me to take hold of it and pull it off of my body. “want my tongue, baby?” she asked, smiling when i nodded my head feverishly.

she folded the waistband of my sweatpants down, immediately running her tongue along the newly exposed skin.

i let out a groan at her teasing, moving my hands to tug my sweatpants down. “eager much?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at me.

she guided me over to a chair, lightly pushing my shoulders to sit down. instead of answering her previous question, i lifted my hips, pulling down my boxers and throwing them to the side.

i watched as a string of spit fell from her mouth onto my dick, making me squirm slightly as it rolled down my length.

she gave my tip a kitten lick, eliciting a groan from me as i gripped the sides of my seat.

i could tell the weed was starting to kick in, as her every touch seemed to drive me crazy.

she swirled her tongue around my tip, the coolness of her jewelry causing my hips to buck up. she held my hips down as she continued to tease my tip.

her droopy, red eyes met mine as she moaned around me, making my head fall back.

she ran her tongue along the underside of my dick, causing my hand to shoot out to her arm to hold onto.

“p-please, don’t tease baby. too sensitive” i mumbled out, fingers digging into her skin.

“but i like watching you get worked up” she chuckled, leaving kisses up and down my length.

spurts of pre-cum began to drip down from my tip, causing her to run her tongue along me sensually.

she looked up at me through her lashes as she moved her tongue as slow as possible, making me whine out.

“p-please baby, need you so badly” i spoke, causing her to tilt her head slightly. she removed her mouth from me altogether, making me screw my eyes shut in frustration.

without warning, she climbed onto my lap. due to my slower reaction time, i wasn’t able to process what was happening until she had sunken down onto me fully.

i let out a groan in surprise, hands shooting to her waist as she began to ride me. “so fucking needy, chris. this what you wanted?” she asked, her words slurring into each other slightly.

“yes, yes, yes” i heaved as my hands slid down to her ass, gripping the skin firmly as she moved on top of me.

she felt impossibly tight around me, her walls clamping down on me harshly. her hard nipples pressed against the fabric of the t-shirt tauntingly.

i reached for the bottom of the shirt before speaking, “can i-” i started.

she seemed to understand what i was asking before i even finished, nodding her head and raising her arms to help me pull it off.

i immediately wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer as i took one of her boobs into my mouth.

one of her hands came up to the back of my head, carding through my hair. her hips moved quickly against mine, never breaking their rhythm.

she pushed my head further into my chest, her head falling back as she became lost in her own euphoric world.

i drew my hand back to slap her ass a few times, finding pleasure in the way that she clenched around me in response with loud cries falling out of her mouth.

when i felt her begin to slow down, i tightened my grip around her, thrusting up into her. her loud moans bounced off of the kitchen walls, along with the wet squelches of my dick plunging in and out of her.

“chris, i’m so close” she choked out, nails digging into my back as she clung onto me. i brought a hand down to rub her clit, causing her legs to begin to shake around me.

“i got you, let go for me” i spoke right before she released all over me. she let out soft moans into my neck, continuing to grind down on me through her high.

“fuck, c’mon chris. i know you’re close, give it to me baby” she spoke between moans, leaving light kisses against my neck.

i let out a long moan as i held her down against me, filling her up with my seed. she shuddered against me at the feeling, nuzzling her nose into the crook of my neck as we both tried to catch our breath.

i rubbed her back gently, my chin resting on her shoulder as i held her close. i felt her back rise and fall, watching her breathing begin to slow.

“alright, let’s get you cleaned up before you fall asleep on me” i spoke, only to be met with the sound of soft snores.

too late.

masterlist

dealer chris masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nickgetsmewetter @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[leaentries]

saturday sleepies | jack hughes

summary: a lazy saturday turns into jack begging his girl to take a nap with him

warnings: some suggestive themes, swearing, not deeply proofread

wc: 1.2k+

a/n: was def inspired on this thought i had last night

The rain pattered against the windows, the smell of freshly baked cookies filling the room. A certain sleepy hockey player found himself staring longingly into the open kitchen.

You were fleeting about the kitchen, placing the hot cookies onto a cooling rack, not failing to grab a small piece for yourself. This lazy Saturday had mostly just consisted of you and Jack cuddling on the couch watching movies, but around noon you had got the motivation to bake a yummy treat.

Bending down to grab another pan, you missed the sound of feet paddling towards you on the hardwoods.

“Oh!” A startled sound left your throat at the harsh smack that landed on your ass. You jolted up, turning to face the smirking Hughes, “Was that really necessary?”

He nodded solidly, “Sweetheart, you can’t just put your sexy ass out in the open and not expect me to smack it. If you haven’t learned that by now, I’ve clearly failed as a boyfriend.”

You rolled your eyes, trying your best to fight off the growing smile at his words. Yet your smile was quickly dimmed as Jack moved to grab a cookie from the rack.

Swatting his hand away, you slightly scolded him,

“No touching! They aren’t cool yet, Jack. You’ll burn yourself.”

“But I want one now, baby.” He let out a childlike whine, “They smell so good.”

“Well,” You resumed getting the last pan, “You can have one when they’re completely cooled down. Besides, I have another batch I’m about to put in.”

Jack huffed, before stalking back to your shared room. You just chuckled at his behavior, knowing he wasn’t being serious. You quickly finished up the last batch, putting them in the oven and setting your timer. After cleaning up a bit, you walk back to check on your sulking boyfriend.

Biting your lip to keep in a laugh, you can’t help but be amused at the sight in front of you. Jack, who was now cocooned in the blankets, lay turned away from you, yet still managing to let out obnoxiously loud sighs to gain your attention. Gingerly crawling onto the bed, you sat beside the pouting boy.

“Jacky?” You whispered softly, “The last batch of cookies should be done in 20 minutes and then you can have as many as you want.” Despite your efforts to console him, he still kept a tight lipped pout.

“I don’t want cookies anymore.”

You found yourself rolling your eyes once more, “Then what do you want?”

He slowly turned to face you, sitting up against the headboard. His hair was disheveled, falling messily into his face. The shirt he had been wearing earlier had somehow managed to come off.

“You.”

Your eyes widened at his demand. Furrowing your brows, you shook your head slightly in confusion, “Me?”

He nodded, “Yes, I want you.”

You swallowed thickly, the air in the room suddenly becoming heavy. The darkness behind the blue in his eyes was enough to have your thighs clenching. Deciding to play into his antics, you replied, “What do you want with me?”

He didn’t respond right away, opting to pull your thighs to straddle his own. His hands found home on your hips, squeezing the plushy flesh under his fingertips. His lips leaned to press a soft kiss to where your heart beats rapidly against your throat. Jack smirked at the feeling of your pulse, his ego igniting at the effect he had on your body.

“I want you in every way, all the time, sweetheart.” He began to trail light kisses up the column of your throat to your jaw, “But,” He paused, pulling away slightly before he reached your lips, “Right now I’m sleepy and I want you to nap with me.”

Jack removed himself complete from your tense form, arms falling to rest by his sides. You sucked in a breath of annoyance, pushing off of him.

“What the hell, Jack?” You crossed your arms. It was now your turn to pout.

“Aw, don’t make that face, sweetheart. You know I hate it when you look upset.”

“Then don’t make me upset, Hughes.”

He chuckled, scooting to press the side of his body into yours. He placed a kiss on your shoulder, “C’mon, take a nap with me. You know I can’t sleep without holding you.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, choosing to be stubborn, “Can’t. I have cookies to finish.”

Jack let out a dramatic groan before flopping back against the pillows, “The cookies are gonna be done in 10 minutes, you can come nap with me after that.” You looked back at his distressed face, his eyes meeting yours, mouth opening to continue his plea, “Don’t make me beg, sweetheart.”

“Maybe I want you to beg,” You smirked, “Sweetheart.”

He grinned wickedly at you, “You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.”

Kissing his lips quickly, you got up before he had the chance to trap you in the bed. You could hear the tail end of his protests as you left the room to tend to your baked goods. Eventually, his voice trailed off, while you leaned against the counter, scrolling through your phone.

The timer had finally gone off, signaling the completion of your snack. You slipped on your oven mitt before carefully pulling out the hot pan and placing it on the stovetop. Glancing back at the bedroom door, you squint your eyes slightly, already expecting Jack to have bounded out for a tasty cookie. You grabbed your spatula, swiftly switching the cookies to the cooling rack, then making your way back into the room.

You assumed Jack fell asleep, due to his abnormal silence. Suprise took over your features, as you found the boy propped up looking back at you.

“Jesus, Jack. You look creepy as hell right now.” You grabbed your chest, clearly startled at Jack’s position.

“Well, I’ve been waiting for you.”

“I had to finish the cookies,” You crawled under the comforter beside him,” I told you that before I left the room.”

Jack rolled his eyes, “I’ve had just about enough of these cookies. They’re stealing my lady.” He reached to pull your back into his front, burying his head into your hair, “Told ya, I can’t sleep without holding you.”

A soft smile graced your lips at his little confession. As much as he annoyed you and pressed your buttons, he knew just what to say to make it all worth it. This boy was completely and utterly whipped for you, and he wasn’t afraid to show it. Your sweet thought were interrupted by a sneaky hand making its way up your shirt to cup your right breast.

Jack was notorious for loving your breasts, making sure to show them unfiltered affection every possible chance he could.

“More like you can’t sleep without holding my tit. Let’s be honest here, Jacky.”

He didn’t make any effort to deny your claim, only shrugging his shoulders, “What can I say? It’s like my safety blanket.”

You shook your head at his comparison, “I’m glad my boobs serve you well.”

He kissed the back of your head, only replying with a soft, “Shh, sweetheart. I’m sleeping.”

Snuggling back into his warm frame, you close your eyes, finally succumbing to the call of sleep that Jack had been so desperately trying to pull you into.

[marozzoespabakingcooking]

Honey almond cake (basbussa)

Ingredients Lists

Cake

3 eggs

80g sugar

100g molten butter

100g almond powder

250g semolina

3 tbs orange blossom water

Syrup

300g honey

350ml water

50ml orange blossom water

Instructions

Cake

Put some water in a pan, and in a bowl (in metal preferrably), put the eggs and the sugar.

Put the water in the pan to a boil & then reduce the heat so it is steaming but not boiling.

Place the bowl over the water, and beat the eggs & sugar until it becomes really fluffy.

After that you can take the eggs off the stove, place everything in a stand mixer, and whisk at max speed for a few minutes (you can do it without the stand mixer but it'll take a long time).

Add in the rest of the ingredients and mix well.

Pour in a cake pan and cook at 180°C for 45min.

Take it out of the oven, let it cool down a bit, and remove the cake from the mold, and place in deep-ish plate.

Syrup

Put the water & honey together in a sauce pan, and put to a simmer.

Let it simmer for 10min.

Add the orange blossom water & mix well.

Pour slowly the syrup over the cake. It is a very thirsty cake, it will easily abosrb the honey syrup.

If the cake is fully saturated in syrup and cannot absorb anymore, then it's perfect, and no need to add more syrup.

NB

You can replace the honey with sugar but it'll be less tasteful.

The cake mold I use can be found on Amazon & Temu if you desire make it look like a honeycomb as well.

If the egg beating is too complicated, one can replace all of this with 10g of chemical yeast (baking soda) & 125g of unsweetened yogurt.

[lore-grandma]

Oh boy time for a recipe that’ll probably be thrown into the forgotten depths

Chocolate lemon cupcakes

Chocolate cupcakes

* 1 cup (130g) all-purpose flour

* 1 cup (207g) sugar

* 6 tbsp (43g) unsweetened cocoa powder

* 1 tsp baking soda

* 1/2 tsp salt

* 1 large egg

* 1/2 cup (120ml) buttermilk

* 1/2 cup (120ml) vegetable oil (I used a majority of olive oil and used about 1/4 cup vegetable oil, I didn’t specify any better because fuck you and I don’t wanna)

* 1 tsp vanilla extract

* 1cup (120ml) hot coffee

Lemon Curd:

* 4 large eggs

* 1 cup granulated sugar

* 1/2 cup lemon juice fresh squeezed, from one large lemon

* 1 Tbsp lemon zest from one large lemon

* 6 Tbsp unsalted butter cubed

Frosting

* 1 cup (240 ml) heavy cream, cold

* 2 tablespoons (16 g) powdered sugar

* 1 teaspoon (3 g) cornstarch

* 1 teaspoon (2.5 ml) vanilla extract

For the cupcakes

1. Preheat oven to 300°F (148°C) and prepare a cupcake pan with liners.


2. Add the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt to a large mixing bowl and combine. Set aside.

3. Add the egg, milk, vegetable oil and vanilla extract to another medium sized bowl and whisk together to combine.

4. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix until well combined.

5. Add the water to the batter and mix until well combined. The batter will be very thin.

6. Fill the cupcake liners about half way and bake for 18-23 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out with a few moist crumbs. (I have a shitty oven so I added ten more minutes to the bake time after I checked if it was fully cooked, just start off with 5 minute increments, if you want to be more cautious) 


7. Remove the cupcakes from oven and allow to cool for 2 minutes, then remove to a cooling rack to finish cooling.

Lemon Curd:

* Place eggs and sugar into a small pot, whisk to combine. Add lemon juice, zest, and butter. Cook over medium-low heat whisking constantly until mixture thickens and coats the back of a spoon.


* Transfer to a glass bowl and lay plastic wrap directly on the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Chill for 1 hours to almost set. 


Frosting

1. Chill the Bowl and Whisk: Begin by chilling your mixing bowl and whisk (or whisk attachment) in the freezer for at least 15 minutes. This helps the cream whip up faster and increases volume.

2. Combine Dry Ingredients: Mix powdered sugar and cornstarch in a small bowl. This ensures even distribution of the cornstarch in the whipped cream.

3. Whip the Cream: Pour the cold heavy cream into the chilled bowl. Using an electric mixer, start whipping the cream at a low speed, gradually increasing to medium-high as it thickens.

4. Add Sugar and Cornstarch: Once the cream starts forming soft peaks, gradually add the sugar and cornstarch mixture, continuing to whip.

5. Add Vanilla Extract: As the mixture thickens to stiff peaks, add the vanilla extract and continue to whip until well incorporated and the cream holds stiff peaks. (Probably make the frosting after the cupcakes have fully set)

Assembly

1. Remove the core of the cupcakes with a knife or a cupcake corer, you need a hole

2. Put almost solid curd in the center of the cupcakes, preferably with a piping tip.

3. Let curd set fully in the cupcakes for 1 hour more

4. Pipe on frosting, and serve

**note that this is posted on the same day is was baked, I can’t say how well the whipped cream frosting will hold up.

**a large cookie scoop helps with filling the cupcake liners. I used 2 scoops of the largest one I had

**normally you’re supposed to fluff your flour, but I was worried it would be too liquidy so I just scooped the flour from the container, like a heathen.

** I know I should half the recipe for the lemon curd, because there was a little left and it was overflowing out of the cupcakes a little, but it could be the fact the cupcake holes weren’t big enough. It wasn’t that much plus, you could mix the cake that’s left over from the removal of the middles with it, so idk.

I suppose I should put a useless story like all other blogs.

It was my possible step brother’s birthday and there was a mix up with the 2 cakes. Instead of chocolate raspberry and vanilla lemon cake, the bakery mixed up the flavors and reversed it. And me being weird I kinda liked it. So here’s a recipe that basically makes that cake. Why are these so long? Like that story was simple and easy. You could easily just say “my mom made this a lot when I was a kid.” Like I’m pretty good at writing a whole essay about something that doesn’t matter, evidence and an explanation, everything you could need. Would anyone even read this? It’s a recipe on tumblr, if I posted this on Pinterest maybe but even then most people I know don’t like citrus and chocolate. I offered some cupcakes to my grandma but I actively left out that the custard is lemon flavored, because I knew she’d make a virtual face at it. I want to show my creations but I can’t do that when no one is willing to try it. My mom was easy to convince because sugar. This is long because that’s the whole joke, for this whole piece about a simple story to be far too long when people just want the recipe. Would this bit even work? It’s all at the end, not at the beginning like every other blog does but I understand how frustrating that shit is. And like since I’m dragging it out it’ll only be more of a nuisance to the people wanting to see the recipe. Should I just half the lemon curd recipe? Do people even read the notes about the recipe? I sure don’t also. I also should’ve put proportions sizes but I don’t wanna put effort in remembering or counting. 8+6+1…. Uhhhh 15 cupcakes that I made. How likely is it that government secrets are put in these long bullshit paragraphs? I hope I get some criticism on this recipe there was a fair amount of research and rewriting. I forgot the name for cupcake liners btw, I had to ask my mom what they were called so that was a little awkward because I was making some more notes on the recipe while doing so. I wonder how I’m going to transport those cupcakes, I mean my grandma’s house isn’t that far of a walk but also it’s kinda hot and I don’t have any boxes also it’s night. Is this paragraph long enough that the joke gets hammered in? I don’t think it’s long enough but I could be wrong, I suppose I should write some more nonsense to add to the word count. Anbdndjdjelskxnjskwjsjzjksnsbsjkwksbhsjsksnsbsjkwndnzjsknwnsjsksks. Space. Ajkdndjoelndkkpl high ndkskskskndjjdksksnnsjsk. I got my cats some new toys recently, they’re touch activated and they make noises and move around. Of course I think they primarily like them because of the cat nip. I think I’m going to stop writing this, I’m getting bored and I don’t have much to say rn.………………………………………………………………………………………… I hope I don’t explode after this…………………………………….. my phone is spacing out this out weirdly, idk what that’s about…………………………………………………………………..do you think aliens are real?………………………………………are ghosts real?……………………………………………………………………. How do food bloggers end these anyways? I’ve never read the paragraphs but they have to at some point, right? ……………………………………………………………………..I think half the reason why food bloggers have such long paragraphs is because we’re encouraged to make a whole essay whenever we’re writing something. I know I am…………………………I’m probably wrong……………………. It probably forces more ads onto the screen at once………………….aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…………… I know it doesn’t matter but I wonder how the tumblr algorithm works, like do they prefer to show longer or shorter posts? Of course it could be our decreasing attention spans. I like spam, it’s not that bad, of course I’m probably a couple of sprinkles of salt away from death……………..I’m tired……………………… I think it’s time to stop typing, I think my space button is starting to die.

[sammylkcho]

Hey I was wondering if you could do a sprout x reader*g/n* (romantic/fluff) with just a reader who likes to bite him like in a vampire away since he’s like a strawberry so the reader likes to bite and just slurp the flavor like a vampire (I don’t know how to explain it so Srry if it’s hard to understand)

I decided to turn this into a half-headcanon with a oneshot because when I tried writing the full oneshot, I hated the result. So, here we are jnwdajkdsa

hope you like it! <3

—I feel like the first time you bit him, it was simply because a voice in your head said: "He's like a strawberry; strawberries smell good and have a tangy juice that makes them taste nice... would he taste like that too?" (A bit of a silly way of thinking, but hey, no judgment here)

—So... *sip*

—It happened during a hug, and you just buried your head into his neck and gave him a small bite, nothing too serious!

—Yes, he tasted exactly how strawberries would taste.

—Though Sprout’s flavor leaned more sweet than tangy

—Our dear Berry Boy must have been VERY confused when you did that

—"Oooh, they look like vampire marks! :D" That’s probably what you said after getting a tiny taste of him

—He likely just felt a slight tingle on his neck after you did it, unsure what to make of it

—Eventually, when the two of you discuss it and agree that it’s okay, it might turn into a peculiar but endearing little habit.

—Oneshot time!

You had been patiently waiting for Sprout to finish baking an apple pie that both of you had been craving for days. Today was the perfect day to make it since neither of you was busy—especially Sprout, who was usually the busier one as one of the mains.

While the pie baked, you kept him company, chatting about your activities over the past few days. You mentioned how Teagan had invited you for tea and how Glisten had given you some tips on "the perfect attire."

The atmosphere was cozy, almost domestic, as if nothing else in the world mattered except for the two of you. It was a sweet, heartwarming moment.

The timer Sprout had set finally went off, pulling both of you out of your little bubble.

He smiled at you before turning around to grab oven mitts and carefully remove the pie from the oven. He handled the tray with precision, ensuring he didn’t get burned.

Moments like these weren’t uncommon between the two of you. Sprout’s love for cooking, especially baking, often led to such shared experiences, where you’d keep him company in the kitchen and spend time together.

But this time, you didn’t tease him about how impatient you were to taste his creation, as you usually did. Your thoughts were elsewhere, swirling with curiosity as you kept watching him.

How would your beloved Berry Boy taste?

Sure, anyone would assume that Sprout, being a strawberry, would taste like one. But the idea left you unsatisfied.

You needed to know. Would his juice lean sweeter or more tangy, like some strawberries could?

“All done. Now we just need to let it cool” Sprout announced, his voice breaking through your cloud of thoughts.

You noticed the apple pie resting on the counter, steam curling lazily from its surface as it cooled. Oddly, you didn’t feel the usual craving for the dessert.

“Mmh... it looks delicious!” you replied with some enthusiasm, though your focus was elsewhere.

Before your sweet tooth could kick in, you stepped closer to Sprout and hugged him from behind, surprising him with the sudden action.

Resting your chin on his shoulder, you inadvertently loosened his scarf.

You pretended to nuzzle into his neck, eliciting a lighthearted chuckle from Sprout, who seemed to find your playful antics endearing. Then, without much thought, you gave him a gentle bite—like a cat—and even sucked a little to settle your curiosity.

It was..

Silence stretched as you tried to find the right words to describe the strawberry-like flavor of Sprout’s juice.

That’s it! It was a mix where sweetness dominated over tanginess. Unusual, but delicious.

Pulling back slightly, you inspected his neck to see the results of your impulsive act. The area was tinged a pale red from your playful nibble.

“You did that like you were some kind of vampire” Sprout remarked, his tone more amused than anything else.

“Oh, oh! Yes, like a vampire!” you replied with a soft laugh, still clinging to him like a plush toy.

It wasn’t a bad thing, you thought. If Sprout didn’t mind, maybe this could become a quirky little habit. You’d be his personal vampire, savoring his precious, sweet, and tangy “blood.”

[foodshowxyz]

Spinach and Ham Quiche

Ingredients:

1 unbaked pie crust (9 inches)  

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 shallot, finely chopped

4 cups fresh spinach, roughly chopped

½ cup diced ham

4 large eggs

1 ½ cups heavy cream

½ cup grated Gruyère cheese

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon black pepper

Instructions:

Preheat oven: to 375°F (190°C).

Sauté: Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add shallot and cook until softened, about 2 minutes. Add spinach and cook until wilted, about 3-4 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool slightly.  

Assemble: Place the pie crust in a pie dish and crimp the edges. Sprinkle the ham evenly over the bottom of the crust. Top with the spinach mixture.

Whisk: In a bowl, whisk together eggs, heavy cream, Gruyère cheese, salt, and pepper.

Pour: Pour the egg mixture over the spinach and ham.

Bake: Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the quiche is golden brown and the center is set.

Cool: Let cool for at least 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Tips:

You can use a store-bought or homemade pie crust.

Feel free to substitute the ham with bacon or sausage.

Other vegetables like mushrooms, bell peppers, or onions can be added for extra flavor.

If you don't have Gruyère cheese, cheddar or Swiss cheese are good alternatives.

You can freeze the quiche before baking. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator and bake as directed.  

[megumiluvv]

Choso is covered in flour. You’re on the floor, crying from laughter.

“Choso! You- hahaha! You can’t plop it!” You cackle.

Choso just sighs and wipes his face off, retrying the scoop of flour. He’s trying to learn how to bake, but he wants to do it all himself while you teach him, which is proving to be… a bit difficult.

You get up from the floor and move behind him, reaching around his large frame and guiding his hands. Choso instantly gets shy, but you don’t notice, instead you continue to help him make the cake from scratch.

“Like this…” you mumble, helping him dump the flour and use the whisk to mix the batter.

Choso watches your hand, the difference in your hands catching his eye. Your hands are so small and soft, his are large and calloused from the numerous jobs he’s had.

Soon enough, the batter is done, poured into a pan and put into the oven to bake. Yuji walks in curiously when he smells baking.

“What’s in the oven?”

“Yuji, don’t get too close, it’s hot.” You warn the little kid.

“We’re making cake.” Choso smiles.

“Why?”

“We just felt like it.” You smile.

“Is it anyone’s birthday?”

“It could be someone’s, but not anyone I know of.”

“So why make a cake?”

“Doesn’t dessert sound nice, Yuji?” Choso laughs.

“Okay!” The boy runs to play with toys while you help clean the flour off of Choso.

You wipe his shirt, then get close to wipe off his face. He watches you focus, your brows furrowed as you wipe off his forehead, tongue poking out and head slightly tilted.

You’re focused on watching his face as you wipe off the flour, watching his pupils get larger, his lips slightly part, eyes fluttering slightly as he blinks. You watch his gaze move down from your eyes, you can only assume he’s staring at your lips.

“…What’s the timer at now?”

Choso looks at the timer after a few seconds. “Um, 5:30.”

“Okay.” You back away and get the frosting ready. “When the timer beeps, poke the cake with a butter knife to check if it’s fully baked through, okay?”

“Okay.” He nods and watches you.

When the cake is done, he pokes the cake, it’s fully baked, and you let it cool for a bit then show him how to frost the cake.

You giggle and get some on his nose, so he retaliates and gets some on your cheek. You squeal and laugh, feeling him purposely go overboard and smear frosting on you. Eventually, the cake finishes getting frosted and your face is a mess, now it’s his turn to clean off your face.

His calloused hands are gentle when he holds your face, he’s focused and you admire his features. His hair isn’t up for once, eye bags are more prominent since he worked late last night, and his piercings are removed.

Once your face is less sticky, you cut the cake after dinner and Yuji excitedly eats it. The cake is delicious.

“So, Yuji, how’s Choso’s first cake?” You ask.

“Delicious!” The boy grins.

“Yeah? Did I do good?” Choso smiles.

“Yeah!”

You giggle and finish your cake, putting the leftovers in his fridge since you’re over here more than your own apartment next door. You go home and head to bed, thinking about how close you and Choso were earlier.

Taglist: @samaraxmorgan @cherriee-ee @auor4 @chaotic-ish @meowsannie

Masterlist

[penkura]

Christmas Cookies

Summary: Sanji and your daughter Angel make this year's Christmas cookies and her wish makes him grateful for his life.

Note: Ahh this should be considered part of my fanfic 'knowing' and the two pieces I wrote that followed it, but don't worry, it's only the names for Sanji’s kids. :)

“So you’re going to help daddy make the Christmas cookies this year, right, Angel??”

“Yeah!!”

The little grin your Four-year-old daughter gives nearly kills Sanji every time, he still can’t believe she exists and that she’s yours, with her blonde hair tied into two little pigtails and her blue eyes shining bright at the thought of baking with him. He’s anxiously waited for this day ever since she was born, and now that she’s old enough, she can help him make and decorate cookies this year.

He’s so excited to share this with her and for Angel to enjoy more than just eating the cookies and icing.

“Is Sora gonna help?”

“He’s still a bit a too small, sweetheart, but we can make one just for him, okay?”

“Okay!”

It’s just Sanji and Angel on board that morning, everyone else has gone into town to stock up on supplies and you’d taken your one-year-old son Sora with you so he could have some time off the ship too. Sanji decided that was the perfect time to make the cookies with Angel and keep them from Luffy at first, knowing your captain.

Angel is excited herself, she’s ready to help make the dough and cut out the cookies, bake and decorate them, she has a plan in her own little head about what to do. She wanted to help last year and Sanji was prepared to let her, but she came down with the flu and was so upset about the fact she couldn’t help make the cookies that she didn’t even eat any of them. This year she’s perfectly fine and happy to help.

She listens to every instruction Sanji gives her on what to add and when, how much, and Angel is happy to do all the stirring until the ingredients really turn into dough. Sanji knew she’d be annoyed and impatiently to wait for the dough to chill, so he prepared some the night before once you’d gotten Angel and Sora to bed, and pulled out the second batch so she could cut out the shapes she wanted and he could put them in the oven right away.

Angel grabs one right away once the first batch of cookies are out of the oven, making Sanji grab her hand in return to stop her.

“Hey now! Wait for them to cool, sweetheart!”

“But daddy, I want one!” her little whine and pout make Sanji sigh, but he still shakes his head.

“I don’t want you to burn yourself, Angel. Let them cool down, then you can decorate them, okay?”

“Okay…”

Once the cookies are called down, Angel snatches up a few of the people shaped ones, going to work after Sanji gives her the icing she wants to use. He goes back to removing cookies from the oven and adding another sheet in, stepping outside to have a quick cigarette before going back to check on the cookies and your daughter. When he tries to look at what she’s doing, Angel almost throws herself on the table and pouts, trying to hide her work. It makes Sanji laugh before he pats her head.

“What are you working on, Angel?”

The pout stays on her face as she thinks, eventually sitting back in her seat and moving her arms out of the way so he can see.

“I made us…but I wanted show you and mommy…”

Sanji feels his heart swelling at that, and he just has to look, Angel starts pointing at each one and telling him which one is which person in her family.

“This one’s you and this one’s mommy,” of course he figured that, the one with yellow hair covering one eye and another with your hair color, “And this one is me, this one is Sora!”

It makes him so happy to see the way Angel has decorated her cookies, with the four of you and even the rest of your crewmates. There’s one with a little straw hat, another with three swords, one that she tried to make a long nose on, one with orange hair, she really tried to make one holding a book, one with blue hair, and another with an afro. She did make sure to grab one of the reindeer cookies and give it a pink and blue hat, and did her best to make one look like Jinbei.

Sanji still can’t believe how lucky he is, to have you and your kids and the rest of your crewmates as his family, while he hugs Angel close and kisses her head. He tells her he’s so proud of her and she did so well, she’s very talented at decorating cookies! She makes him so grateful that his life has turned out the way it has, having you as his wife and now your children, he and Reiju are on good terms and speaking, he still can’t believe that. Everything is better than he ever could have hoped or prayed for, he’s still beyond thankful you met that day at the Baratie and changed everything for him.

He almost missed the one with pink hair that has to be Reiju, before he notices one more that confuses him.

“Who’s this last one supposed to be, Angel?”

“Oh!” she grins at him before saying, “That’s the baby sister I want!”

Sanji nearly passes out hearing that, but doesn’t bring it up to you for a few weeks more, wondering if Angel forgot about it or not. He doesn’t even want you to think about another baby until Sora is at least three, so when he does bring it up and you laugh it off, he’s not worried you’re keeping something from him.

He just prays that Angel doesn’t get upset if she gets a little brother again.

[the-broken-truth]

Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara w/ Spider Society Teenage Female Reader

Summary: Since you were 10 years old, you've been a member of the Spider-Society. Now, at 15, Miguel has grown fond of you. However, when he mistakenly refers to you by his deceased daughter's name, you feel a need to pull away. Despite your attempts to distance yourself, Miguel is unwilling to let you go.

"Where is [Name]?" Miguel asked himself from his perch before his holographic tablets when Lyla materialized before him and informed him that [Name] was in another universe dealing with an Anolmany with Miles and Gwen but Miguel was unhappy to hear that news; he didn't like Name hanging around Miles or Gwen; he thought they were bad influences on her but she stayed on the straight and narrow path and Miguel couldn't be happier with that. Suddenly, a portal opened and the three Spider-People walked out of the portal with Anolmany in a webbed cage.

"[Name], come here for a moment." Miguel said as he pushed the holographic tablet away from his face and jumped off his platform to walk over to the masked girl, who pulled her mask off; revealing her young face.

"What can I do for you, Miguel? Miles, Gwen, and I are going to get some burgers and fries for lunch." [Name] gestured her thumb to her friends who just waved when they were mentioned but Miguel just looked at her.

"I have expressed that I didn't like you hanging out with them. You need to stay with me and I'll take you to get dinner later." Miguel said but [Name] shook her head and took a step back.

"They are my friends, Miguel, and they want to hang out with me before I'm sent back to my world and I want to spend time with them." She explained but Miguel was not happy to hear that - you were pulling away from him.

"Gabby, I told you not to talk to them. We are to monitor the Multi-Verse and then we are going to get dinner before I send you home." Miguel said and [Name's] eyes widened at the name he called her.

"What did you just call me?" [Name] said in a hushed whisper. Miguel was a little confused until he realized what he said and tried to apologize but [Name] just walked away from him and back to Miles and Gwen before the 3 of them walked out of the Spider-Society Headquarters to get their food. Miguel stood there with a heartbroken expression on his face but that soon faded away when he realized the real problem; it wasn't him, it was Miles and Gwen, they were turning you against him and he needed to do something about it. He turned and jumped back on his platform before doing some digging on your file - he was going to keep his little girl safe.

After lunch, you bid Miles and Gwen goodbye before you activated your gizmo to open a portal back to your Universe's Earth - it opened on the top of a building a few clicks away from your apartment and you webbed your way over there before entering in a window you always kept open in your room, the lights were off but as soon as you turned them on, you knew someone had been in your apartment. For starters, the room was clean and it hadn't been cleaned since you started the Spider-Woman Gig a while ago, your dirty clothes were now cleaned a folded neatly on your bed in piles of shirts and pants, and your undergarments were untouched in the basket by the bed.

You removed your mask and sniffed the air - someone was cooking in your kitchen. You grabbed your baseball bat, not wanting to reveal your identity as Spider-Woman to the intruder, and walked into the kitchen but the bat was snatched out of your hand by a red web.

Wait.

Red Web?!

"Miguel?!" You yelled at the man standing in your kitchen making lasagna that he was taking out of the oven with your oven mitts on his hands before placing the cooked food on the stove to cool and turned to face you.

"You're home. Sit down, dinner will be ready in a moment." Miguel said in his casual voice before going to wash his hands in your sink.

"What the hell are you doing in my house, cooking in my kitchen like you live here?!" You demanded to know.

"Language, Mija. Now, you got some mail while you were gone; you really need to do something about that water bill, but don't worry, I paid for all of your bills for the next 5 months." Miguel said as he walked over to you and ushered you to take a seat at the table.

"You didn't answer my question: What the fuck are you doing in my house?!" You pushed him away from you and glared in his face.

"Language, once again, Mija. I'm here to take care of you since you can't take care of yourself and you disobeyed me when I told you not to hang out with Miles and Gwen. You need Parental Guidance, [Name], and I'm going to be the one who gives it to you." Miguel said.

"Parental Guidance?! Miguel, you aren't my father and you never will be; I knew something was off about you when you calledme by your daughter's name but that's why I decided to keep my distance form you. Now, leave my house and don't come back here." You said as you pointed toward the door. Miguel just looked at the door before grabbed you by the arm and pulled you towards the chair and forced you to sit but before you could get back up again, he webbed you to the chair.

"We are going to have a nice dinner as Father and Daughter, you will watch your language and allow your father to feed you since you clearly don't know how to act like an adult." Miguel glared at you with his red eyes before walking into the kitchen to make the plates of food. You had to get out of here but how?