#maybe half a tsp each?

[khealywu]

dead heat btwn taco dip and buffalo chicken dip for me

I am honestly deeply curious about people's preferences from this list. Mostly as I just made one of these and brought it to a potluck and it is gone. Leave your distaste for Midwest cuisine at the door please. Yes, all of it will fluff you up for winter, that's like 63% of the point.

But for real? Which one do you just... almost hate yourself for loving the most?

[petermorwood]

@dduane found this on Out Of Ambit, and wants me to make it again as an entry for The Mind Palate.

Also to get better photos, because the one accompanying the original post is...

Unimpressive.

"Savoury mud" is what I called it then, and have no reason to change that opinion - but regardless of how unprepossessing it looks, It Tastes Just Great.

I'm thinking that some red and green pepper pieces would add a bit of colour, and wouldn't hurt the flavour. Maybe kidney beans, too...

That vaguely yellowish thing in the middle is a large chunk of butter, with which DD will happily garnish rice, kasha, colcannon, champ, porridge (with brown sugar) and of course a nice big baked potato.

*****

I've amended the recipe slightly, reducing the oil and salt by half and adding metric measurements - which are approximate, everything about this is approximate. It was literally something I just threw together without, as it says, referring to a cookbook or buying in anything special.

That said, I do recommend using ghee for Indian cooking if you can get any. It's very easy to make at home, similar to clarifying butter except for taking longer since it involves cooking (browning) the separated-out milk protein on the bottom of the pot to add flavour. There's plenty of ghee-making advice on-line.

OK, here's that recipe...

*****

Improvised store-cupboard dhal (dal, daal etc.) for when you can’t be bothered with a cookbook then going to the shop for more elaborate ingredients.

Ingredients:

½ cup / 125 ml vegetable oil OR 125g ghee (better flavour)

2 large onions, chopped fine

4-6 cloves garlic, chopped fine

1 tbsp. each of ground cumin, ground coriander

½ tbsp. each of ground turmeric, ground chilli, ground black pepper

½ tbsp. each of mild curry powder & hot curry powder (optional)

½ tsp. salt

2 cups / 500 g red lentils

½ cup / 125 g green lentils

½ cup / 125 g brown lentils

Boiling water

1 tbsp. lemon juice

Method:

Heat the oil, fry the onions & garlic until soft and glossy.

Add all the spices and fry for a few minutes.

Add all the lentils and stir everything together*.

Add enough boiling water to cover by ½ an inch.

Stir everything together, reduce heat, cover and simmer for about ½ an hour. Check occasionally, adding more water if required, a bit at a time then stir. (Don’t overdo the water. Preferred texture is like stew, not soup.)

Add lemon juice, stir, and serve with rice and / or breads like chapatti, roti or naan.

My recipe for naan is here.

This dhal makes a good side with shop-bought tandoori chicken.

*Alternately add lightly fried chicken or lamb cubes and 2 x cans of chopped tomatoes along with the lentils, reducing the amount of water accordingly. Simmer for ¾ hour, serve when meat is cooked, and call it a dhansak.

(It isn’t really. But it's delicious.)

[fuckingrecipes]

Easy Homemade noodle recipes

Egg Yolks: Start with 2, go up from there.

Egg Whites: Half of however many yolks you used

Water: As needed. Maybe 1 tsp per 2 eggs.

Salt: idk, a pinch. 1 Teaspoon?

Flour: Enough so it becomes a dough, and not mush. 1 cup per egg, with more or less added for texture.

Butter or Oil: idk like half teaspoon per egg? I just blop a little bit in there, eyeballing it.

Other shit: Add dried herbs or spices if you want. I like an italian herb mix in mine. Basil and Oregano and Black Pepper

--

Start with a pile of flour. Sort out your egg situation and dump those into the flour. Add a little water and oil, and mix it together for about 5 mins.

If it's crumbly and doesn't want to be a neat dough ball after 5 mins, add more egg yolk or water. If it's super sticky and making a huge mess, add more flour.

After 10 mins of kneading and adjusting ratios so it looks like a dough, divide it into smaller balls that are each about the size of a lime. Doesn't have to be precise.

Let those chunks of dough rest for another 10 mins. (yes, resting is important)

Use a rolling pin to roll out the dough as thin as you can, without putting holes in it. Anywhere from 1/4 inch to paper thin is fine.

Rub a little more flour on the dough if it wants to stick to the rolling pin or your counter surface.

Once it's as flat as you want, roll up the dough like it's a scroll, and slice it thinly.

You can toss them in BOILING water (or straight into broth/sauce), and cooking 'till done. Cook time depends on how thick your noodles are. After 5 minutes of boiling, take a noodle out and try a nibble. If it's not done, boil it some more. If it's done, take it off the heat. You can also fry the noodles in oil if you want.

Or you can save them for later by laying or hanging the noodles until dry. Could be on a counter with paper towels on either side of them... could be hung on a coat hanger... however you can get airflow to dry those suckers out for a couple hours. Then put in an airtight container in the fridge.

[lixel-5]

i don’t think there’s a id, ego, and superego analysis of TSP so i made one in like there minutes. please correct me if i mess anything up lol

first off: fuck freud he was fuckin weird. half of my psych classes are bashing on the guy. the ID/ego/superego theory is super cool though.

ok continuing

the id/ego/superego theory is that your personality is made of three parts.

the id is instincts and the superego is morals. they are complete opposites. the id is only driven by pain and pleasure, it’s selfish. the superego is driven by reality and being a good person.

the id will tell you to steal, while the superego is telling you to just leave it and get the money. they’re both tugging on you’re conciseness to listen to them.

obviously, this is Stanley and the Narrator complete opposites that can’t exist without each other.

I think Stanley— and by proxy the player— is the id, impulsive and driven by pleasure.

the Narrator is the superego, wanting to complete the “correct” story and will do anything he can to get Stanley on the right path.

the id and superego were easy to define, toxic yuri/yaoi at its finest (someone make a portal version of this where chell’s the id and glados is the superego). the ego is… harder to figure out.

the ego is what balances the id and superego. i think it’s consciousness partly? it’s been a moment since we talked about it in psych class.

but, it basically compromises with the id and superego. it’s the reason of your mind.

lets say, you want candy from your little brother’s halloween stash. your id says to steal it, your superego says to ask for some.

your ego will think about both options. which is easier? will your brother miss the single piece of candy? the ego will decide weather you listen to the id or superego.

if Stanley is the id, and the Narrator is the superego, who the hell is the ego!

maybe the Curator? no, she just tells Stanley things rather than decide stuff. the Settings Person? no, they just continue the cycle of the Parable—

oh. the ego is the Parable itself. it’s what allows the id and superego to make the choice.

it’s an unconventional ego, but it works. it’s not really deciding, but it’s forcing the id and superego to make the decision.

i guess, i’m a way, it could be constructed as the player is the ego, the Parable is the id, and the Narrator is still the superego,

the player is what choose to follow the Narrator’s story, or venture into the the impulsive Parable.

i like the other one more.

Narrator = Superego

Parable = Ego

Stanley/player = Id

in a way, does the Parable being the ego make the Settings Person partly the ego too? because he’s the one continuing the cycle and allowing more choices.

ok final thoughts; the id and the superego being forced to make decisions on their own is such a cool concept though.

i didn’t proofread any of this btw

[nani-nonny]

OMG is nonny giving out advice?

You’re a baker, right? Desserts?

Is there an easy cookie recipe you recommend that is tasty? I’m visiting my nephews and I want to become their favorite tia through cookies like an abuelita

/gen

Oh my goodness hahaha!

As silly as this ask is, I suppose the simplest and most “grandma-like” cookie I can recommend off the top of my head is a thumbprint cookie :D

I made them for some family members during these past holidays, and made plenty to put into silly cookie tins like my late abuelita (although she didn’t make these thumbprint cookies, she made crisp shortbread cookies)

Thumbprint cookies require 7 ingredients, but no fancy pants measurements :D

1 stick of room temperature butter (1/2 cup)

1/2 cup of powdered sugar

1 egg yolk (discard the egg white or save it for breakfast, you decide)

1 cup of all-purpose flour

1 tsp of vanilla extract (or just a quick splash)

Pinch of salt

And any jam of your choosing, but I found it must be jam. Strawberry jam is a fun choice and one I use since everyone in my family prefers sweet fresas from the local farmers

Here comes the recipe portion hehe

The recipe may seem long, but it’s quite easy, and I’m explaining what you may want to avoid or be careful of when making the cookies :) you can ignore my cautionary comments :D

Mix the butter with the sugar in a medium-sized bowl so it’s light and creamy :D

Add the egg yolk and vanilla extract and combine

Add in the flour and salt, but be careful not to overmix your dough! (Flour doesn’t like to be worked too much, so mix it until you don’t see any more big floury lumps or flour streaks :D I suggest adding a little flour at a time while scraping the sides of the bowl.)

Let this dough rest in your fridge, not the freezer, for at least 30 minutes and at most 1 hour. (Although, I may have accidentally left my dough sit for 2 hours and it came out fine regardless…)

Once your dough has chilled, preheat the oven to 350 F (or 175~ C I can’t remember the temperature for Celsius at the moment and I’m too lazy to check my notes)

You’re going to scoop about a tablespoon of dough (maybe half a scoop of a regular spoon? I don’t know how big your spoons are but my spoons disgustingly vary in size) and place on your parchment paper-covered cookie pan about a cookie’s width apart. I have specific cookie baking mats for this so I don’t know the measurement hahaha! It saves time :D Make sure to ball it up in your hands!

Next, you’re going to lightly press your thumb into each ball of cookie dough, or press a teaspoon or tablespoon covered in powdered sugar, into the dough balls to create an indentation!

You want to fill each indentation with your jam! Don’t overfill your cookies, because they may ooze out like little volcanoes.

Once the cookies are ready, place the cookie pan into the oven to bake for about 10-13 minutes. The time depends on the type of baking pan, the amount of cookies on the pan, and how big your dough balls are, so keep an eye on the first batch.

The cookies are done baking once they have reached a golden color on the edges! Remove them from the oven immediately and let them cool—they will continue baking once the pan, so be mindful of that.

Once the cookies have cooled enough to touch, move them from the pan to a wired tray. (This prevents from overbaking on the warm pans but also makes room for baking more cookies if you don’t have more than one pan. I recommend putting the dough and the baking pan into the fridge in between baking the cookies if possible, so the dough doesn’t lose its firmness and the pan is easier to use)

Once the cookies are completely cooled, dust with powdered sugar! (I’d recommend drizzling with icing, but that requires a few extra steps which im too lazy to do.)

Be sure to store in airtight container! :D

[foxxxyana]

Hey you!

It’s fall and you’re probably thinking “damn I wanna make a hearty stew but I don’t have a recipe in mind maybe a cute girl could give me her recipe for beef stew and show hole while doing so?” Well I’m not showing hole for free but I do have a pretty damn good stew recipe that’ll make your holes quiver more than a chilly lot lizard at a truck stop Arby’s.

In some seriousness I made this a couple weeks ago, came a little eating it and I want to spread that seed of joy as much as I can this Mariah Carey season.

———

Alright so here is a list of ingredients in very rough measurements

1 pound stew beef (could also be any fairly lean and cheap cuts of beef) cubed

1 cup of carrots chopped or whole baby carrots

One medium onion chopped (any variety is fine but I used yellow onions)

1 pound of red potatoes quartered (you can add another half pound if you love potatoes a Samwise Gamgee amount)

2 32 oz cartons of unsalted or lightly salted beef stock (+ maybe one smaller carton or jar of beef bone broth to add a bit more flavor or top off the pot if the stock doesn’t cover the ingredients fully)

Some all purpose flour like maybe a quarter cup if that

Finally some red wine vinegar

That’s it for the bulk items, you can add or subtract anything you want with something more your taste like celery instead of carrots or russet potatoes instead of reds. The world is your stew so get wet and have fun with it.

The spices are the key to this dish since it brings out a lot of the subtle flavors of each component

2 tsp Thyme

2 tsp Rosemary

1 tsp Tarragon

1/2 tsp red chili flake

1 tsp parsley

2 bay leaves

2 tsp black pepper and salt

Garlic (if using fresh garlic 2 cloves to start and if you want add another clove if using pre minced Jarlic use about 2 heaping tsps)

And finally the crucial ingredient. 1 and 1/2 tbsps Garam Masala. I used a pre made mix and this what it looks like and what spices it has exactly

If you can’t find this then get as many of this spices as you can and mix them together using the ratio of 2 tsp coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, and cumin, 1 and 1/2 tsps of black pepper and celery seed, then 1/2 tsp anise, allspice, clove, and salt, you can leave out the salt and pepper and just add a little bit more later on.

———

Ok now that we have ingredients let’s slap this bitch together

On medium high heat with a tbsp of oil or butter brown the meat off in a large stock pot, you don’t want to cook it through just getting some color on all sides, if it starts to smell like burning turn the heat down a little and add more oil, if you add too much it could get watery and not brown the meat effectively. If that happens just drain as much of the liquid as you can into a separate container, just before you take it off the heat and it’s almost all browned then add a teaspoon and a half of garam masala and then keeping browning until it’s a good color then set aside

Next in the same pot add your chopped onions with a little butter or oil and cook til translucent and aromatic, then add another teaspoon and a half of garam masala along with the red chili flake and garlic to wake up those flavors in direct heat then turn the heat down to med low and add your flour, go slow with this little by little, we’re not making a roux or anything just trying to cook off the raw flour taste to help thicken the stew a little down the line, you don’t have to add all of the amount listed just enough until it start to thicken and coat the onions

Next add your beef back in and stir a little bit coating the beef in the onion and flour mixture and then add a couple splashes of red wine vinegar just enough to lift the flour off of the bottom of the pot, make sure to scrape all the onion and beef bits at the bottom of the pot off with a spoon or spatula before moving on from this step.

Next add your stock and other vegetables along with all the spices including the last 1 and 1/2 tsps of garam masala. The stock liquid should cover all the ingredients but if not, add in your reserved bone broth or rest of the beef stock if you used bone broth earlier.

Let it simmer on medium low heat for about 1 hour, though you can leave this on the stove for longer if you want the flavor a bit more concentrated but no more than 3 hours.

And there we go! Serve by itself or over mashed potatoes, and make sure to take out the bay leaves! You can’t eat them. Also if you want it a little thicker just add some cornstarch and water to a small measuring glass stir to combine then pour stirring it well into the stew though keep in mind once you add the cornstarch slurry you cannot keep it on the heat for more then 5 more minutes. Any longer and the cornstarch will turn more gummy and nobody wants that.

———

Anyways here’s the only picture I took of the stew it may or may not be that flattering depending on how hungry you are.

Pictured is also a pot of garlic and sage mashed potatoes, I don’t have the energy to write that recipe down but if I get enough requests for it I’ll add it here.

Most importantly just have fun with it, if you want more hot spice throw it in, if you want more salty umami flavors add mushrooms or dark soy sauce, do whatever you want this stew is yours to customize as you please.

Anywho I hope you all enjoy my slutty slutty stew >:3

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Find Five Lines

Thanks @pluttskutt here!

Rules: post a line following each prompt, then change ONE PROMPT for the next folks!

A line about traveling

From The Secret Portal Part Two (Jedi POV)

Yesterday completed our journey across Sector 3 to al-Gharb. Dara kept up his end of the deal all the way, and even accepted a little less money from Eomma than the initial deal. The journey was long and monotonous, but it gave me time to read up on what our next stop was going to be. There was a large mountain range at the border of Sectors 3 and 4, and in order to cross it into the rest of the Sector without a transport, we would need to take a train.

A line about silence

From The Secret Portal Part Two (Lexi POV)

We usually talked for the whole thirty minutes about various things: class, Gwen’s relationship with Akash, or whatever had happened during the weekend in Alium. But today, several minutes in, we hadn’t really said a word to each other. I didn’t have to be a telepath to figure out why. Beside me, Ash had her eyes glued to her food. The silence was driving me insane. My knee bounced in anticipation. “So how’s band going?” I blurted out. “It’s fine,” Ash said.

A line about rage

From The Secret Portal Part Two (Robbie POV)

I turned on my back and glared up at the ceiling as if the ceiling was cancer itself. Part of me wished that there was something or someone to blame more than a disease—then maybe I could direct the anger I felt at an entity. How could anything take someone away like that? Leave them suffering for years, if not decades, and even in the peaks of hope, a disaster always follows. They do well for a while, then they relapse, and then they’re back in the hospital on the brink of death again.

A line about patience

From The Secret Portal Part Two (Gwen POV)

Lexi was tapping her nails on the table in rapid succession. We were currently all on Sublevel Four, which was a center for computers and offices, apparently. One of the rooms contained a long table for meetings, which is where we now sat. “I don’t understand why we need to wait until exactly five,” Maddie complained, shifting in her seat. “We’re all here.” “It’s the schedule,” Lexi answered, though by her tapping and staring at the clock on the wall, I could tell she was anxious.

A line about memory

From The Secret Portal Part Two (Lexi POV)

“Good evening,” I started. “My name is Lexi Morgan, and I am running for president of the orchestra club. I remember the first time I wanted to play the violin. In fourth grade, the Falcon Intermediate Orchestra went to play at Finch Elementary for the spring showcase. For one song, ‘Pop Goes the Weasel,’ all but one player of each instrument came out into the audience to allow one child to play the note A on ‘Pop!’ I was one of the lucky ones chosen by a violinist. Despite only playing the one note a few times, I knew then I wanted to play the violin. And here I am now, two and a half years later, as the concertmaster of the top orchestra class. [...]”

Tagging @laureleavess @museandquill @mk-writes-stuff @dyrewrites @eccaiia

+ ANYONE ELSE

Y'all's prompts: A line about traveling A line about silence A line about rage A line about fear A line about memory

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

[russetfoxfur]

I would like your thoughts on ISAT please and thank you

AAAAAAAA

im going through this in bullet points based on what pops up in my mind so i might jump from act to act. under cut for Major Spoilers

- color palette. stunning awe-inspiring astounding and the fact that its even acknowledged in-game (and then WONDERFULLY subverted by the scarlet of the world ending!!). i remember seeing isat fanart on the dash and i was like 'why are all these in monochrome' but it makes sense i literally cannot imagine siff with color

- i pronounced pretty much every name wrong (according to the wiki at least). what do you mean bonnie's name is pronounced like THAT. well except odile i called her odie on purpose

- headcanoning that siffrin is from sky children of the light. hes got the cloak hes got the connection to the stars hes got the evil unswayable king. one could argue that sky is also a timeloop game (albeit one without much focus on it) due to eden reruns. the isle could be the isle of dawn. also both skykid and siffrin start with s let me have this

- on the topic of crossovers: narrator (tsp) and loop would absolutely be worsties. you cannot convince me otherwise. they Hate each other's guts and constantly piss the other off

- and on the topic of loop somewhat: GOD that boss battle. loop's eye cracking red.... loop looping..... LOOP USING THE SAME ATTACK AS SIFF........ and then siff winning and sparing them because they helped them get so far in the first place. TWO HATS...... so much dialogue becomes recontextualized its insane

- also THE DAGGER. i was sort of pissed off at loop throughout basically the whole game so when the dagger came up i jumped at the chance to tell loop to fuck right off with what they think and don't think is good for siff but then....... god the game treats suicide with as much gravity as it's worth it was genuinely so jarring to see the game contort loop in order to grant my wish (....HOLY SHIT) just seeing loop go all white-eyed and narrator-voiced.... and then the tree glitches into a warped version because thats loops tree and you just contorted loop......aaaaaaaaa. i did almost try to do One death with it just to see what it was like but loop's begging through narrator-voice was just.... it reminded me so much of narry's (tsp) begging in the zending and i was like "nope not using the dagger not at all"

- one major crit of the game is how hard it pushes familial ideals. i really dislike familial dynamics (thank you mcyt) and the fact that everyone was shafted so hard into very specific roles just bugs me. i do prefer it without the hard shafting but i'd rather them all be queerplatonic at best. come on guys platonic bonds are fantastic please please please stop making this a traditional family when i said i liked found family i did not mean literal family. more deep meaningful platonic bonds in the world please. also just based off how mcyt treats the clockers and stuff do i want to know how people treat isa x sif (whatever its called)

- another crit is the save system. this ones more minor but i wish you could save from any point in the game instead of just those little lights. just a small inconvenience.

- but back to positives im just going to dedicate a whole bullet point to specifically the bonnie-murder-and-subsequent-jumpscare. ill be honest i DID spoil myself for this one but i am glad i did it because even with the warning i was jumpscared by it actually happening. just... you try reasoning with the king because okay maybe this is a really extreme reaction and he can be reasoned with and then you can stop looping but the king isnt going to change if he wanted to change he wouldve done it earlier and then he forces siff to watch as the kid--the kid they gave their eye for, the kid they keep giving their half-immortal life for--is slowly and painfully crushed to death in front of their eyes. that is when you realize the king CANNOT be reasoned with. i saw a youtube comment that was like 'the reason bonnie goes blackout is because siff is actively flashback-ing to that moment and actively redacting all the gore out as it goes' and it has NOT left my head let me tell you. just... the way it shows siff's sanity slippage, and the way that exact blackout is then used in act 5 as an eerie callback..... god it makes me ILL. including the fact that the loop i got that on was one where the daydreamer dis-remembered their sibling AND the change god's statue had a different face and i was like 'siffrin is So Fine You Guys'

- also the change god. both the statue (love how its face changes at random, i only saw two during my playthrough but theres a whole bunch on the wiki) and the little quest thing. thats the ONLY OTHER TIME we see white-eyed loop through the whole game which. Well. also i think its cute how they talk with kaomojis with mira. best god ever would absolutely dedicate my life to that guy as well

- SPEAKING OF! best aroace rep ever mira love of my life /p she is ALSO a doubtful anxious "chosen one" who will murder to save her friends and loves them all so very dearly and also has a roommate who makes bombs. shes the best i love her i think she deserves to rip the king to shreds with her teeth

- ok so to preface this i was actually reliant on a map for my playthrough because like three times i accidentally looped to floor three when i was trying to see the library and i could Not take it anymore. but act 5 messing up the whole house is evil. took me like half an hour just to figure out how to get to a star crest because i kept ending up in the infirmary and getting stuck. i know im just experiencing the intended effect but like still. siff next time you have a mental breakdown due to the depression and insanity caused by being trapped in a timeloop without anyone else to speak with excepting an immoral god whose only goal is to piss you off as much as possible.... could you PLEASE remember the house better

- but on that topic.... god siff "the lost one" rin's crafts are very telling of their mental state. the fact that all the puns are gone from the attack names.... no more jackpot points because theres no one else to do jackpots with.... and then all three attack skills having no cooldown while the buff and the heal both do....... (that one in particular is making me have thoughts. it hurts more to heal and get better than to keep lashing out at any desperate hope you've got for breaking out without addressing your own issues.) i love the crafts in general because of the very personalized nature of the names but act 5's crafts and also the "just attack" craft are like. Siffrin Is So Fine You Guys Teehee

- my first impression of bonnie was "young and angry. yeah that's a pretty accurate descriptor of them siff." my current impression of bonnie is "how the fuck are they so good at cooking"

- i accidentally began act 5 before i finished a sidequest...... to be fair it was the sidequest w/ the chateau castle comics but like.... still. i was so close i literally just had to go back to that guy with the knowledge of that final issue. additionally the ghosts quest. i was trying to do a whole run of the castle (grindy purposes) and i got both ghosts on the first two floors before not getting the one on the third floor. it was evil it was so evil. damn you rng

- i love that one lesbian jeweller in dormont. actually i love the casual queer rep in general. mira's whole quest is about coming out as aroace in a world that Very Much does Not want that to happen. isa is probably trans. 40% of the main cast is non-binary. the lesbian jeweller. apparently mira's roommate has a crush on the head housemaiden but to be quite frankly honest the only thing i remember about claude is their name and that they build bombs. bomb-building lesbians ftw i guess

- ....okay yeah i did fall for the pineapple slices. In My Defense i was immersing myself in siff when i fell for it and i was Not Thinking about loop i was thinking "oh my god i love pineapple lets project my love of pineapple onto this traumatized punmaster". barked a laugh aloud when they said it was good. spicy :3

- also i did accidentally spoil myself for the ending but... somehow i arrived at the conclusion that the king was actually siff from before and that siff's climax would be defeating the king and then taking his place when the party tried to leave. thank GOD it wasn't that (i would've rioted) i love what we actually got much better.

- king shouldve died for realsies. you do NOT just murder bonnie like that and then send siff into a panic attack and expect to get off with a sympathetic ending let me beat his ass up

- i literally cried at the ending. let me just say i do not cry at video games easily but like..... siffrin's loved. he's spent the entire game desperate for any scrap of attention, slowly spiralling as the loops keep happening and everything keeps falling out of his hands, convincing himself hes a disgusting manipulative bastard who cant even see properly.... and then when they realize that that's why he was an asshole to him, because he's been hearing the same rote lines over and over and he hasn't been telling anybody.... and then they forgive him. they don't forget--siffrin did hurt people, justified or not --but he's not an awful person for wanting to be loved, for wanting to have something to hold onto. he's terrified of being alone so much so that he inadvertently traps himself in a timeloop because he can't stand the thought of them parting ways. and it's not his fault. he can be forgiven. they still love him.

- (you know, while i was playing, i saw the universe belief and my mind immediately jumped to "and the universe says i love you because you are love". call me obsessed with mcyt, but it feels a little like it fits in isat, i think.)

- but siffrin's loved. after 106 loops (in my case), a thousand dead ends and red herrings, failed kisses and intimacy cravings and teammate murders and cheeky gods and trauma, so much trauma.... after they've run themselves ragged trying to break themselves out and nearly crashed and burned..... siff's finally free.

[kikuism]

made maybe the mostttt delicious scrambled egg i've ever had in my life, diced half an onion, sauteed it with 1/4 tsp each salt, pepper, thyme, chili flakes, added some halved cherry tomatoes and sauteed until they started breaking down, added in 2 whisked eggs, and towards the end half a slice of cheddar cheese

[yaaboi-jay]

Mac and cheese recipe for my followers (10 bots and some moots)

Mac and cheese recipe from me because why not (i like to cook and i made this so im egotistic)

On a stove, add a thing of macaroni and boil it in a pot. How long? Until it's cooked idk (do this while making cheese sauce

Get another pot. Probably something big enough to hold the mac and cheese so you can place the macaroni where you're gonna make the sauce.

Grab flour, butter, milk, cheese (mix of cheddar any anything else or not. If its pregrated, you can wash it to remove the starch on it but you can skip this, i dont think ot makes a difference.)

1. Melt a half cup of butter (8tbs) on medium. Not high, medium.

2. Put the same amount of flour in and mix it all up until it mixes and becomes like mash potatoes if they looked weird

3. Turn down hest to medium low. Do not let this go to high. Medium low. Make it hot but no boiling. If you mess this up you might burn it.

4. Add a bit of milk (like a a few tablespoons )and mix until there's no liquid and the flour butter parts are more liquidy than before

5. Repeat step 4 but add only a bit of milk each time. Remember don't add a lot all at once. Little by little. DONT add more milk until the previous milk is already mixed in. (If you want an exact amount, I think 3 cups but maybe a bit more or less but do less if you aren't sure. Like 2.5 cups)

6. If its all mixed and looks very much more liquidy, you can add more milk every time until you get like a thick soup. If you aren't sure, add less milk. it should not be too thick, it should still be a free flowing liquid. Always make it thick instead of thin if you don't know. Like Adam ragusea said, you can add water, you can't take it away.

7. Add cheese. How much cheese? You decide. Don't add alot all at once. Add like half a handful and keep going until it looks good. Remember that the sauce should still be a bit liquidy. It's a cheese sauce, not a cheese dip. If you don't know, just add half a handful and a bit more. You can add some later. Sauces are always more liquidy when hot so cooling it down thickens it. (Quarter of half a cup of packed cheese but I never pack it down so don't trust me. It's your food I'm just here for a guide)

8. Mix it all until cheese melts. Once you have a sorta thick sauce.

9. Add seasoning. Salt and pepper is a must. Maybe like a tablespoon of salt and 2 tsp of pepper. Remember if you don't know, add slowly and add less. You can always season at the end. Don't rush it. I add garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, and paprika. Chili powder and paprika and garlic powder and flavor. Don't skip those if you want enhanced max and cheese. you can always add at the end, don't tush

10. hey your pasta done? Strain it and add it to the cheese sauce. cool it down, come back in 15 minutes and taste. Grab a a bit and put it on a plate. If you don't like it, add some seasoning to the plate. If you like the seasoning, add to pot. If not, don't. Try out small portions to get taste right.

You got mac and cheese! Better than store bought, and more cost effective and delicious!

if anyone has questions ask them

[disaster-kitchen]

Campfire Pork Shoulder Tacos

5lbs pork shoulder, trimmed and cut into 2" cubes

1-2 cans of beer- you want like. A lager? Probably not an IPA, and a stout is going to be too dark. (This year was a can of Great Lakes Mexican lager and then half a can of their amber lager.) You can also use stock or water if you want.

Marinade (I mix the day before in a mason jar for easy transport, but I forgot to take a picture):

Equal parts orange juice and lime juice, fresh squeezed; approx 1 large orange and 3-4 limes (about 1/2c each)

1tsp dried cilantro

1tsp dried oregano

1-2 tsp whole cumin seeds (or 1 tsp ground, but really, get the seeds)

Pepper

2 1/2tsp salt

1 head garlic, peeled, crushed- approx 5-7 cloves (I would honestly recommend more garlic.)

Dump your pork and marinade into a ziploc bag and jhuzh it around, then throw it back in the fridge/cooler for about 2 hours while you get your fire burning down to coals.

In a cast iron dutch oven, add the pork and marinade/juices, one can of beer, and maybe a little extra salt and pepper. Slap the lid on and chuck it in some banked coals or a 325 degree oven until the meat is fork tender- check it in an hour. Take the lid off for the last half hour to cook down the juices and let the meat get a little smoke.

Warm your tortillas by the fire on the pot lid, and serve with sour cream, fresh cilantro, pickled onions, and some hot sauce. Cheese, guacamole, and salsa were also present but I'm a purist.

5lbs of pork will feed 6 very hungry people with nothing left over except regrets about overeating.

Some notes!

If you want to scale up, increase the amount of marinade liquid. If you want to scale down, reduce the salt.

This year it was done in 90 minutes (alarmingly ahead of schedule); last year the fire died and it took closer to 3 hours. Your cook time is going to be variable depending on your fire and how well trimmed the meat is. I have made this in an oven, but I do not remember how long it took.

If all the liquid cooks off, things will start getting crispy, which is great! Highly recommend. Just watch it, because you can go from deliciously crispy to charcoal very quickly.

Add more liquid if you're worried about things getting charred- more citrus, beer, or even water is fine. (Or all three, if you're ahead of schedule by 2 hours and panicking about things burning. You, too, can find yourself crouched over the fire like some kind of goblin, squeezing an orange into pulp with your bare hands.)

I added: the juice of 1 orange and 2 limes, half a can of amber lager, and a few glugs of water so the bottom of the pot and half the pork was submerged. The whole thing simmered for another half hour, and the liquid immediately turned into gravy. Delicious, delicious gravy.

I will probably try to replicate these conditions next year, without the panic. If I can pull it off, I'll figure out more consistent instructions. Or I'll have to make tacos more than once a year, oh nooooo.

The reviews for this year: "Wow, you can really taste the panic! This is the best batch so far!"

[employee052]

final designs for da three nars! (well two, virgils had his for months now)

cecil (red) n jarvis (yellow) lookin drippeddddd skfjsjfjsjf

for some lore n more oz rambling they are under the cut!:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALRIGHT LESGO

Cecil:

Cecil is the fully human Narrator. (in the sense, the one who got his third swimming pool), he is a retired VA whos enjoying his life post tspud and is just overal chillin(tm)

The two new narrators are basically to cover the whole ground of narrater interpretations. (ie. some guy in his room recording, a guy in his room speaking but digital, and a fully digital entity)

so this is the one that is just a guy who voices in the game!

(this isnt meant to be kevan brighting, think of his source is the og game, but with the addition of the extra content(the ads, the raphael parable, the stuff on the dev logs, announcement videos, etc from crows crows crows as canon)

pronouns are he/him.

hes a cis male whos pan

Virgil:

THE OG, MY OG GUY

Virgil is the half digital, half human Narrator. He used to be a regular office worker before being shoved into a computer and thus, becoming the voice for the Parable

His source follows TSPUD, my au La Vie En Jaune, (which you can read more of here!), all the art ive done with him on this blog, and the other things the narrator has been in (ie. dota 2, dungeons, audiobooks etc)

However, after Stanley and the Narrator find each other and break past the hard coded locks of the pARable, they end up in a more lighter version of the parable, more akin to a world the narrator, stanley, and lynne can pop in and out of. while also having more control and hold on themselves and the world.

the narrator is the first one to pop out of the parable, thanks to character!oz (my sona and the one that exists in this blog)

once the narrator gets a better handle at the real world, stanley and lynne follow.

here, hes a guy whos lived the parable and become a new person when coming back out.

He can hop between digital areas and the real world. which is how he is still able to do stuff as the narrator for dota, and work for other projects like dungeons and the multi media videos on yt.

his pronouns are he/they

he is a demiboy who is demisexual and omnisexual

Jarvis:

Jarvis is the fully digital Narrator. He is the one who was created in the Parable as a string of code turned AI.

His source and canon is just TSP, TSPUD, the demo, and the half life mod. He's experienced everything in the games a thousand times over and more.

Basically, hes the guy who pops between being just a voice or an ai with a model that follows stanley around the parable. he has control over the parable (to an extent ie. timekeeper and the developers) and is the one who wrote the story itself.

There is not much more to say about him really ajdjahf but despite the design and context, he isnt that much different from virgil

hes just more defensive, and more lost with living irl.

his pronouns are he/they/it

he is a non binary (smth smth "well, i dont associate with being either a male or female, i am still a binary entity. i am made of ones and zeros, stanley. so while my gender is non binary, my code is.") he is a pansexual demisexual

as of now, in an au idk what to call of atm (maybe just the three narry au) they are all living in the real world.

virgil popped into real life expecting to appear in character!oz's house but landed in cecils

meanwhile, jarvis got suddenly plopped into the real world. he doesnt know how to pop off but he doesnt miss it all too much

misses his stanley a bit.

[sniffanimal]

Hey boss do you have an actual recipe for that gyro bowl? Or do you just cook by vibes? Literally have been thinking about that thang for a whole day, lol

So, I've cooked *similar* things from recipe but I was going off pure vibes alone, BUT I can type up what I did in a sort of recipe-esque format for you! This may not be 1:1 exactly what I cooked, but it might be close?

Recipe for Donnie's Gyro Bowl below:

Ingredience (amount of each fed 3 people in excess, so maybe 4 servings?):

1lb Ground Lamb (can be omitted for a vegetarian friendly recipe, or changed for Protein Of Choice)

2 roma tomatoes

1 cucumber

1 zucchini

2 cans of chickpeas

1 large white onion

Dill weed (I ended up having to get dry, but fresh is better!)

Pearl Couscous (1 box, was roughly 2 cups of dry couscous)

greek yogurt (1 little cup of it)

1 lemon, or a decent amount of lemon juice

white wine vinegar

feta

"tuscan seasoning blend" which seems to be mostly basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, garlic, and fennel.

"taco seasoning" which I used mostly for its cayenne, i would have liked to use paprika and cayenne together instead of relying on taco mix

Garlic powder (again, would have liked at least minced garlic if not fresh)

onion powder

red pepper flakes

Olive oil, butter, salt, and pepper

preheat oven to 400f. Dice tomato and zucchini (keeping them separate), and halve then slice thinly the onion. Zest and halve the lemon then juice into a bowl/cup. Dice half the cucumber, then grate the other half on the medium/large size holes on a box grater (or really finely chop it into mush).

Put the diced cucumber and half the tomatoes in a bowl and add half a cup of white wine vinegar and some warm water. Add a few tsp of lemon juice, salt, pepper, and Dill. Allow to quick pickle while everything else cooks.

drain chickpeas well and mix in a bowl with olive oil and what feels like the right amount of tuscan seasoning and taco mix powder. the peas should look well coated but not like Caked with Seasoning. Toss to mix and then spread out in a single layer on a greased cookie sheet. Bake for ~25 minutes depending on your oven. They might make popping sounds while cooking, be not afraid.

Melt a little butter in a pot and then add the couscous to toast it a bit before adding the same amount in water and then a little extra, maybe 1/4 cup extra. Stir in a generous amount of garlic and onion powders and boil for uhhh a bit until all the water has been absorbed. If couscous is undercooked and all the water is absorbed then add some more and cook until done. Keep warm until ready to serve.

In another pan, melt a bit more butter then add the lamb, stirring to break it up and brown it. I added a lot of the seasonings in different amounts, and some chili pepper flakes. Once cooked through, add half the tomato to cook with it. Once the tomato is soft and the lamb is fully cooked, remove from the pan and keep warm.

To the ~juices~ from the cooked lamb in the pan, add the zucchini and onion and cook well until the zucchini is soft and charred and the onions are soft. Season with Salt, Pepper, and Dill. Add more butter or oil if you didn't have any animal fats left over from meat.

To the greek yogurt, add the shredded cucumber, some lemon juice, dill, salt, and pepper. Stir to combine and taste to see if it's balanced.

To serve, put a layer of couscous at the bottom of the bowl, followed by chickpeas, the meat mix, the cooked veggies, the cucumber tomato salad, and then tzatziki sauce. Top with crumbled feta cheese.

The dish has such a mix of great flavors and textures and temperatures and heat and cream and lemon sour and its all just really really delicious. It did take maybe 40 minutes for me to cook but was soooooo worth it new favorite thing to cook for people.

Also if you were wondering, I went to the grocery store to buy everything I needed to make it more or less and it was about $35 and fed 3-4. The real expensive parts were the dill and the lamb, so those comprised $20 of it. If you already have dill, and omit or change the meat, it's a lot cheaper. Also its 2024 and groceries are expensive as hell.

[istherewifiinhell]

Carrot Pineapple Muffins

The recipe for the muffins seen here, well. Sort of anyway.

Recipe as written, on a page from maybe a website or book? I just have a photo copy I reprint as needed (read: as the paper falls victim to mishaps)

1 1/2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

2/3 cup salad oil

2 eggs

1 cup finely grated raw carrot

1/2 cup crushed pineapple with juice

1 tsp vanilla

Sift flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon and salt together in large bowl. Add oil, eggs, carrot, pineapple and vanilla.

Blend on low speed until all is moist, then beat for 2 minutes at medium speed. Half fill greased muffin tins and bake at 350 F for 25 minutes.

Makes 24 muffins. -Mrs. W. Atkins Agincourt, Ontario

Well thank u Mrs. Agincourt, the impact uve had on my life is not insubstantial. If you would like these muffins id def reccomend just making them as is...

however... u dont have a recipe in your life this long and Not Fuck With It.

Number One alteration that ive never NOT done (well maybe once by accident?) blend those pineapples. well it very well might be to ppls preference to have little morsels of pineapple in there. but a blended pineapple slurry just makes it like. applesauce muffins. just a nice moist texture throughout idk

Number 1.5 is u can make this a cake if u like. i guess thats obivious. BUT. Its good. i had this for many a birthday. ice that shit, normal buttercream please what is with the cream cheese obsession i dont know. do what u like but dont limit urself to expectation okay. Bakes into a nice really brown cake. U gotta bake this recipe like 'well done' if u want it to have any kind of structural intregrity so its kinda? crusty? i like it tho.

Number 2. ratios. in an impluse that im sure started in some healthy eating for the kids blah blah. but its just how i make it now. I tend to increase the pineapple and decrease the oil and use one egg? how much?? ehhhhhh..... like like a cup of pineapple. and 1/3 oil? does that math out? probably not idk. dont do it like how i do it maybe probably but thats how i do it

ALSO. MORE CINNAMON. Live deliciously. could go up to a tbsp of cinnamon honestly. Maybe even apple pie or chai spices. Could do whatever.

Number 3. definitional quibbles. "makes 24 muffins" whos muffins.... i find this tends to make me about 15 large muffins. maybe 16-18 if u want to be safe from over flow? and more if u want to fill em with a jam thing.

"finely grated carrot" using a grater with wholes less that like... idk half a centremeter gives me a bad time. u want like. chedder cheese size not parmesan.

oh also "salad oil" i use canola or vegatable. is that what it means by that? [makes i dunno noise] you could sub with various melted fats. there would be differences but not a big deal. butter or marg or coconut. whatever.

Number 4. Process. Oh mostly just I mix all the liquids together and then add them to the dry ingredients. (u could pop them all into blender together if u want) im mixing this shit by hand so u know. usuaully i do carrots a dry ingredient but that might not even be a good choice again ignore what im doing.

and again bake time. Ur really gonna want to check on them to to make sure their done. like toothpick check colour check whatever. their moist so its not a big like. over cook problem i think. AND i think theyre really good after sitting in the fridge or freezer and getting reheated (fresh baked goods are soooo tasty but a microwave is also a wonderful invention)

post thought. the jam. i dont usually fill these muffins usually i save that for applesauce ones, but i did last time. i tend to just heat whatever frozen berries, little lemon or lime juice. uhhhh maybe 1/4 cup of sugar? in a small sauce pan. how much fruit. ??? enough. i fill each muffin with like. a tablespoon. so idk. math that one out. needs to be a thick sauce! (however if its TOO thick then u also lose out on messy pick apart muffin treat. ur call) and chilled. if u wanna avoid Big Mess Muffin. lmao. u could swril the jam in or whatever else to but. effort.

[murielcook]

onion cheese cream sauce au gratin potatoes

Are you ready? okay

items for sauce:

1 vidalia onion (between softball and baseball sized)

1 stick of butter

1/2 large carton heavy/whipping cream (variable) about 2 cups

powdered cheese

garlic powder

onion powder

white pepper

3-4 chicken ramen packets, or 2 cups chicken stock

salt (very little if using ramen packets, more if using stock, potatoes soak up salt like crazy)

thyme

marjoram

mushroom powder if you're cute like that

reserve ham liquid if you have any (cut back salt if you do)

Items for finished dish:

2lbs sliced ham (thick deli slice style, round is easier, split into 3 stacks, cut into quarters)

about 4lbs potatoes

shredded cheese, dealer's choice

Steps:

thin slice potatoes. should be floppy. a mandolin is your friend. If using thin-skinned potatoes, skip peeling. otherwise peel first.

partly unwrap your butter and use it to rub the inside of your casserole dish

get your saute pan preheating

put basket or steamer in instant pot (important!), add 2c water and 2 ramen packets (or 2c stock), dump in potatoes, set on highest setting for 0 minutes (I was skeptical too but if they're thin enough it'll be fine) [source]

While that's going, peel outer layer off onion, cut in half, cut thin slices; lightly oil the pan then get them in there to start softening up, medium heat we're just sweating them

cut up your ham while you wait for onion

once onions have hit translucent stage, pretty soft, give things a stir, throw the stick of butter on top of the pile and let it hang out

mix spice powders with cheese powder in a dish; garlic, onion, white pepper, and cheese powder happen here. you want to end up with about 2/3 of a cup of mix here, possibly more if you're using stock and add salt. dealer's choice on what's most dominant, you know what you like!

once that butter is mostly melted, start looking for some browning. give things a stir; you're looking for SOME caramelization, not fully browned, we're going for a mix of onion flavors

potato timer go off? let it hang out for as much as 3 minutes before releasing the valve, then remove the potatoes to a bowl.

sprinkle your spice mix over the onion and butter and keep stirring until it's a paste and there's not a lot of liquid butter left

if it starts to stick or you're happy with the mix, start adding the potato liquid from the pot, this adds broth, liquid, and starch, whisk (preferably with a fork or spatula so your onions don't get tangled) quickly to turn the paste into sauce

begin adding cream, nice and slow while stirring

keep going, we're using about 2/3 cup of cream

stop when it starts to get thin, keep stirring for just a little while longer

turn up the heat a little to let that bubble and incorporate, prepare more of the powder mix, because you're going to want more sauce

put down a layer of potato just enough to cover the bottom, then take a ham stack and layer that over top, keep it light and sloppy for sauce flow

take a ladle and start spooning over sauce, make sure to get some onion in the mix, but don't get too greedy or you'll put all your onion in one layer!

turn down the heat on the sauce if you haven't - you might be starting to get browning on bottom - stir that up, add a dash more cream if it seems extra gunky (more like a glue than a sauce)

sprinkle about 2 cups of just-shredded cheese (loose) or 1 cup commercial shredded cheese (packed), you're going for a light distribution

next layer of potato, ham, sauce and cheese

at this point if you're like me, your sauce is running low! have no fear. get your oven preheating to 400F (convection, 425F regular)

take that round 2 powder mix, pour cream directly in it so you can make a paste

scrape that paste into your sauce mix then slowly add the remainder of your cream and stir while bringing the heat back up

This won't get as thick but as it's getting saucier, sprinkle on thyme and marjoram. maybe a tsp of each? evenly sprinkled across the top and stirred in

DUMP IT IN that potato pile, and top with 2c of cheese. go heavier on this, we want it to melt and brown, give the pan a gentle shake to help sauce distribution and stick it in the oven

you might have time to clean up some of the prep dishes while it's browning. check in 10 minutes on that cheese. keep checking every 5 or so after that until it's as brown as you please

DONE

oo you better let that sit because it's bubbling

Notes:

Feeds at least 6.

I have an induction cooktop so I can turn down my heat very quickly, if you don't, consider moving the pan off the heat briefly if you're feeling like it's browning at the bottom faster than you can stir/scrape it off or you're in danger of sticking/burning.

Stainless steel or another forgiving surface is your friend here so you can scrape without fear. non-stick users should keep a wooden spoon or spatula handy for being very firm with brown material in the sauce.

You don't have to use ramen packets, obviously! we always have extra because people make the noodles other ways around here so i ask them to save the packets to use as quick and dirty bouillon substitute.

More onions would be best if you have a 12" skillet or something else that can heat up more without too much layering; this would change the sauce situation quite a bit; it'd definitely take longer

heavy cream recommended for texture and thickening ability, you'll likely have to cut back and add more thickening agent (powdered cheese, flour, etc) if going a different route there

Shred carrots into little matchstick pieces to add in if you want to mix it up. parsnips or sweet potato could be interesting if you're into that.

mushrooms would make a good addition, maybe steamed on top of the potatoes then diced and added to the sauce as it's being built. or just quite a bit of mushroom powder, give it more earthy umami flavor.

The mandoline slicer I use is the "ONCE FOR ALL upgrade safe mandoline slicer": Affiliate link - I don't use it often, tbh, but it's perfect for mass batches of thin, even slices, especially if you have neck or back problems like yours truly. wishlist it and wait for a sale, imo. or check one of the many basically identical ones. but i can confirm i like this one.

[birdybirdnerd]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love <333

AAHHH oh boy time to perceive myself

Gotta say at the top of the list would have to be Somewhere Else, my ongoing TSP fic that I've been working on since 2018 (ignoring the two and a half years there I abandoned it whoops). > Stanley and the Narrator escape the Parable, and are forced to learn how to navigate being human and forming connections.

Battling for top stop of favorite, because it is THE most self indulgent thing I've ever written, is Fate or a Fool's Errand, a Pendragon/Final Fantasy XII crossover I've been working on since late 2021. It's currently on a break as I get some life stuff in order. > Bobby Pendragon, a young Bhujerban noble, is dragged away from his comfortable and familiar life and thrown into the middle of a continents-wide Revolution.

Unexpected Meeting (a Pendragon fic) holds a very dear, special place in my heart despite how old and honestly kind of clunky it is, because of two things: one, that it solidified a number of friendships that were tentative at the time of writing, that have become a few of my closest and longest held friends; and two, because it was the first introduction of my character Dr. Mary Joy, who has become so, so dear to me. Also WARNING this one both has graphic NSFW content and also uh. Suicide ideations and an attempt. Yeah. > AU where the war ends up going on for a lot longer, and Bobby needs a break. Visiting a bar, he ends up crossing paths with a seriously depressed Saint Dane, and everything changes.

anchors at your fingertips was a Magnus Archives drabble thing I wrote on Tumblr based on a long-forgotten post, and even though it was written prior to season five (or even the s4 finale maybe? Can't recall) it still holds a special place in my heart. Short and sweet, but. Guh. I love deep friendships. > Jon and Daisy find each other in the Buried, and then again at the end of it all

...okay this one may be a copout because it's technically a collection of stories but, Hundred Meetings is a Pendragon AU collection of first meetings between Bobby and Saint Dane and it's spawned some VERY fun stories in the (checks date) seven years since I started it. I ended up expanding a few as additions to the series and. It's fun. Its so fun. > As it says on the tin, a hundred (give or take (not actually lmao)) different ways these two could have first met, and possibly started falling in love.

Uhhhh oh god. Now I get to see how many writers I know that I could send this to.