#remembering how in an English class one day the subject of maturity came up and someone made a good point about it not always being

[uchiha-gaeshi]

Minors DNI but also if I was 15 and someone told me that, I would be incensed.

[outofsstyles]

WILDEST DREAMS

a/n: soo I’ve been working on this for a little while now and I’m very excited to share it with you al!! This piece is inspired by Taylor Swift’s music video for her song Wildest Dreams. If you’ve never seen the video, or don’t remember it really well, I recommend you watch it *after* reading the story so you don’t get it spoiled! If you’re interested then you can watch it by clicking *right here!!*

Word count:  17.2k                     Rated: M, mature           

You agree to help your friend on her film project and Harry is playing your love interest.

“You’ve been frowning a lot and haven’t said a single word in the past five minutes, what’s wrong?” You looked up to your quiet roommate sitting opposite to where you stood near the kitchen counter. 

A playlist you both had made months ago, meant only for cooking days, as Nia had instructed, played faintly in the background. You hummed along to the melody of a song you didn’t really know the name of, but had listened to it enough to mumble the lyrics, as you focused on cutting banana slices.

Nia was the one who brought up trying out a new fruit smoothie recipe she had found while scrolling around on Pinterest. She was pretty excited after coming home with the groceries, ready to start the process. Which is why seeing her sitting quietly as she glared at her phone was a big sign that something was wrong.

“I think Jordan is about to pull out on us,” she groaned loudly, locking her phone and throwing it on the counter, running her hands on her face, “I can’t believe this is happening a week before filming starts.”

“Oh, that’s not good news” you said, looking back at your friend’s defeated state in front of you as you threw the banana slices into the blender. “What happened?”

“He said he decided to go with his cousin to Ibiza.” Her arms muffled her voice as she lied on top of them, sighing once again, “this is the third one that leaves, I might as well just cancel the entire thing and fail this class.”

You rolled your eyes lightly at her, shaking your head as you listened to her dramatic reactions. Being her friend for as long as you have, you knew how stressed Nia got with a project, specially something she was passionate about. She was always too hard on herself, trying to push everything to be as perfect as possible, which is a good thing when you focused on the ultimate results. But she often tended to over-stress herself, and that’s what makes you worry.

With this one in particular, you could tell how excited she was from the day her teacher assigned it. She came back home and rambled for hours on end about making her first film. Which is why when she begged you to be part of it, and you couldn’t find it in your heart to say no. 

It was a small production after all, it just being Nia and her partner Evan, whom you have known had gotten close to her in the past months. She assured it would a rather simple concept, with only two characters. The trickiest part being the fact that they would film it out of town, in a camp house that belonged to Nia’s aunt. You had agreed to it to make her happy, and with her promise of buying you chocolate muffins. Most uni students, however, didn’t seem as keen to sacrifice a week of their spring break as you were.

“You’re being dramatic Nia,” you reassured, turning on the blender and cringing at the loud noise that took over the place. “Maybe they just read on the script that they would have to kiss me a couple of times and got too nervous about it,” you tried to humor, raising your voice a bit before turning the processor off. Nia looked back at you with a serious expression, making you scoff, “calm down, grumpy pants, I’m sure Evan knows someone who can do the role, stop worrying.”

“All I do is worry, you know that,” she sighed, standing up to walk towards the cabinets behind you. She selected two matching cups that she had gotten for your birthday, one had Elsa printed on it, and the other Anna. You smiled as she placed them on the counter, knowing you always thought matching friendship objects were silly, but Nia loved it, so you loved it too. She looked vaguely at the blender, letting her shoulder weight down.   “At least we have a banana smoothie.”

“And something else!” You said, jumping on your feet to get to the fridge and retrieved a tupperware. You held it in her direction and smiled, “leftover spaghetti from Joe’s!” you exclaimed, attempting to brighten her mood. She looked back at you, grabbing the container from your hands, as she tried to fight back a smile.

“Yes,  how could I forget the leftover spaghetti?”

**

As the days passed by, the both of you had gotten more stressed out. Nia was still worried about everything related to her film project. With the days passing by and no one to fill the other role on the script, she found herself on a daily cycle of stress breakdowns. 

Just two days after your former cast partner dropped out on the project to spend his week on the busy beaches of Ibiza, she had bought three different boxes of hair dyes. And as you helped her turn her hair into a light shade of pink, she cried about how everything seemed to go wrong in her life.

Meanwhile, you had been struggling to fight your procrastination tendencies and try to finish as much work as possible before spring break. A task that was showing itself to be extremely difficult, considering your mind seemed more focused on binge watching true crime shows on YouTube. 

The blank document stared back at you from your computer screen, as you wished that if you looked at it for long enough, the essay would somehow write itself. Writing a couple of words but soon deleting them and going back to an empty page, you signed. Why was it so difficult to introduce a topic? You took a sip of the hot drink on the sparkly Cinderella mug you had chosen for the day, another one of Nia’s Disney-related possessions. 

You frowned at the blank document, your failure to write a single paragraph still open in front of you. You heard a light knock on your bedroom door, but before you could even say anything, you spotted the already fading pink hair coming into the room. 

Nia walked in jumping excitedly, saying your name in little squeals and almost tripping down as she made her way to sit on your bed in front of you. Breathing out, she looked at you with a big smile and messy hair before blurting out.

“We’ve got you a husband!” you stared back at her, arching your eyebrows. You knew she was referring to the role on the film, but you still laughed off at her choice of phrasing. “Evan got someone, it’s like his old friend or something, said he trusts him not to drop out.”

“Well, fourth time’s a charm, I guess?” you smiled at her. 

“We’re planning a pizza night this Friday, so we can, you know, set the details and all that.” She properly lied down next to you, playing with the strings on the hem of your pajama shorts. “Also so you two can meet each other, of course, you’re going to be married for a week after all.”

“The way you say it seems like we’re actually doing it,”  You laughed, finally closing your computer, and moving down to face her. “We’re just playing characters, Nia.”

“I know, I know… You’re really no fun, aren’t you?” She moved her arm up to support her head and poked you with her free hand as you rolled your eyes at her. “Also, he seems pretty cute, Evan showed me his picture, maybe you two can hit off.”

“I’m sure he is,” you tried not to fall for her attempt on teasing you over someone you don’t even know. Sure, you’ll be playing love interests, but you’ve done this plenty of times before, back on your theatre days. Kissing someone on stage doesn’t mean you have feelings for them in real life, and you knew that pretty well. You sighed, looking down at her, not wanting to engage into this kind of topic.

“Anyway, should we celebrate your new cast member and my inability to write a single sentence about art history?” you changed the subject, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. “We could watch Devil Wears Prada and make caramel popcorn.”

Nia gasped dramatically, “these are the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard coming from those pretty lips of yours,”  jumping to her feet as she pulled you to stand with her. She then ran out of the room, screaming back, “I’ll get the blankets and you start with the popcorn!”

It’s been years since you’ve known Nia, but yet the dynamic between the two of you has never really changed. You’ve always considered yourself very lucky for having a friend like her in your life. From the day you met her in your English class, it was like seeing someone you had already known your entire life; it was always that easy to be with her. 

You two became inseparable from day one.

Looking back, it’s crazy for you to realize how well your high school plans with each other had turned out. Most people you know had those friends in school they only really talked to because they saw them five times a week. But as soon as graduation came by they parted their ways and became only good nostalgic memories for one another. With the two of you, everything just worked out. 

You both got into the university you wanted, ready to get matching art degrees. On your second year of college, you moved in together. And halfway through the course, Nia just dropped out to enroll on an eighteen months film school. And that’s when she met Nate. 

You always knew she was destined to be that kind of person who just has one great love in her life. Which was funny considering that anyone who spent over five minutes with her and Nate in the same room could swear they would never work together. They just were those kinds of couples who are the polar opposite of each other. 

Nia was a little social butterfly, who could start a conversation with anyone about anything. She could talk for hours with the old ladies at the grocery store about how the new brands of beans are just not as good as the ones not as well known. Or chat with the yoga moms about a new reality show that had premiered on Netflix. She loved experimenting on new things, trying out new recipes or mix distinct colors together on her clothes.

Nate, on the other hand, just wasn’t much of a talker at all. Since the start of their relationship, he often stops by at your apartment -wearing a different shade of grey every time - but it would be a lot to say that you two have had a conversation for longer than five minutes. He just mostly kept it to himself. 

They balanced each other, which is why they worked so well.

It would be a lie for you to say you didn’t think about having something like that for you. You thought maybe you just weren’t the kind of person to have one meaningful relationship in your life. And that was okay. You’d like to think you’re better off on your own, anyway. But now and then you wondered how it would be to fall asleep in someone’s arms every day.

But you tried your best to keep those thoughts locked away in the back of your head. You knew that for the most part love is not really meant to last, Nia was just part of the lucky few.

**

The atmosphere in your shared apartment was cozy, as you waited for Evan and his friend to arrive before you started the pizza hangout, as Nia called it. 

You both had spent the day tidying up the place, trying to decorate it a bit with some fairy lights and nice pillows you found in your room. It had been a long time since you had done any kind of social gathering in your home, and Nia wanted everything to be perfect. She even insisted on making the pizzas herself, which took most part of the afternoon, and a lot of bossing around on her part. 

By the time the food was in the oven and the only thing left to do was wait, her boyfriend joined the two of you. 

She was very talkative and bubbly, as she usually is, getting the wine bottles she selected for the evening and placing them on the counter as she chatted with him. It was nice seeing her back do being her usual self after such a stressful week. 

You got the right amount of glasses, placing them next to the bottles, as you hummed along to the Declan Mckenna’s voice playing in the background. You weren’t really paying attention to Nia’s babbles, catching a word or two as she rambled about some dolphin documentary she had to watch for one of her classes. Pouring out a glass for yourself, you looked over to Nate who had a puzzled look on his face, as he tried to make sense of whatever rant his girlfriend had going on. You took a sip of your wine, and laughed lightly at yourself at the contrast between the two of them, something you had always found very amusing to observe. But before you could go further into your thoughts, the sound of the buzzer took over the small apartment.

“They’re here!” Nia gushed, as she quickly made her way out of the kitchen to get the front door, yelling back at you to get the pizzas out of the oven.

“Yes, ma’am,” you teased after she left, earning a light chuckle from Nate. 

Making your way around the kitchen, you took out kitchen gloves that had figures of little chicks printed on them, giving one last check inside the oven to make sure everything was ready, before opening it and taking out the food. You could hear Nia greeting Evan excitedly in the background, as she rushed him and his friend to come inside. As their voices got closer, you turned your back to the entrance, concentrating on not burning yourself while you placed both pizzas on top of the counter.

“There’s our star!” You heard Evan’s loud voice taking over the kitchen space, making you look over your shoulder and laugh at him. 

You turned around while taking off the gloves, as he pulled you into a tight hug, the strong scent of his cologne invading your nostrils. He wasn’t much taller than you, making him being considered short for a man. But his presence in a room was always so loud and bright that he seem much bigger than he actually is. You pulled back and looked at him, suddenly feeling underdressed in your own home. His entire outfit was bright red, being consisted of a jean jacket and silk pants, his eyes matching with vibrant eyeshadow taking over his whole eyelids.

“It’s very nice to see you again Evan,”  you smiled at him, his hands still holding onto your shoulders as he looked warmly at you. “It’s been too long! You look fabulous!”

“Oh honey, you flatter me too much! It’s why I love coming here,” he scoffed playfully, coming to your side and wrapping one arm over your shoulder as he guided you. “But tonight is not about me, unfortunately. It’s about the two of you.”

As you finally moved your attention to the kitchen entrance, you realized another presence standing there. A man, who you assumed was Evan’s friend, already smirking down at you as both of you approached him. 

You suddenly felt nervous under his stare while you could hear Evan commenting on something you didn’t really pay attention to. You had been taken completely by surprise by the man standing in front of you. Sure, Nia had mentioned to you once or twice that he was good looking, but you were not expecting this. 

It was a weird feeling, being this affected by someone you had just met, but you would have to be blind not to notice. His face was beautiful, a sharp jawline contrasting his soft skin, his fingers poked at his bottom lip as he smirked, you could notice the hint of a dimple forming on his cheek. His hair was short, but still long enough to see the shape of slight curls forming in it, some locks falling charmingly against his forehead. But what hit you the most were his eyes, thanks to the dim lighting you couldn’t really tell if they were a shade of forest green or more of a hazel tone, but you could feel your cheeks warming up from the way he watched you as you got closer.

His shoulders were broad, as he was leaning against the entrance, the hand that wasn’t poking at his lip resting inside the pocket of his brown pair of trousers. He wore a blank white shirt, partly tucked in, underneath a beige cardigan. The sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows, making you notice the tattoos hugging the skin of his arms. You felt a curious wish to know how many more you could find under all the layers of clothing..

As you and Evan got closer, he moved from his leaning position to stand tall in front of you. The smile never leaving his lips, and his eyes still watching you closely.

“So, darling, meet Harry,” Evan spoke up, gesturing you towards his friend. “He’s a pest, but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine”

“Way to give a first impression, E,” Harry rolled his eyes at his friend’s teasing, before turning his attention back to you. He moved closer, embracing you into a side hug “S lovely to meet you-”

You quickly cleared your throat, afraid that your voice would give you away, before saying your name. The attempt didn’t really seem to work, as your words came out higher than you had intended. You could feel Nia’s gaze turning to you on the corner of your eye, but tried your best to ignore it. He repeated it, before shooting a smile in your direction, the sound of his deep voice and the way his lips circled around the words making the hairs behind your neck rise.

“Okay! So how about we move this party to the living room?” Nia’s voice broke into the atmosphere. “Everyone can get their wine glasses and make themselves comfortable while y/n and I finish arranging the pizzas.”

She shot you a knowing look, before moving to get the wine bottles and handing them to Nate. Everyone shifted to get their glasses and settle in the other room, leaving you and Nia alone. 

You moved to get the knives and looked at the pizzas standing on the counter in front of you, calculating how you could cut out even slices on each. You could see your friend from the corner of your eye leaning on the counter staring directly at you.

“You know you can’t fool me even for a second, miss,” she teased, you could hear the smirk on her voice.

“I’m not doing anything,” you murmured, still not looking in her direction. She scoffed, elbowing you lightly as she mimicked you, saying your name in a high-pitched voice. You shot her a dirty look before shushing her, afraid the guest in the other room could hear her teasing. “I didn’t sound like that!”

“Oh please! You should have seen how you looked at him!” She rolled her eyes at you, “thought you were gonna drop down on your knees right then and there!”

“Nia!” you screamed in a whisper, your cheeks warming up at her words as you pinched her, making her squeal. You quickly shot a look at the entrance to see if anyone might’ve heard her, but they seemed to be enrolled in their own conversation. “Let’s just get this done quickly before they suspect we’re in here for too long.”

“Okay, cheeky girl,” she bit her lip and moved to get a knife to cut one pizza, but still eyeing you with a slight smile, leaning in one last time, “but I told you he was cute.”

Eventually, the two of you finished sorting out the pizza slices and joined everyone in the living room. Nia then rushed to join her boyfriend on the loveseat, leaving the only spot available for you being between Harry and Evan on the couch. She shot you a teasing smile, but you tried your best to ignore it and focus on finishing the wine glass you had poured for yourself earlier.

“Okay, so I’m going to need everyone to eat the food and tell me how good it is,” Nia pointed out to the center table where the  pieces of pizza laid upon, “I’ve spent the entire afternoon on these babies, so eat up!”

“You know that I’ve helped you with them, right?” you added, squinting your eyes at her, “some credit wouldn’t hurt.”

“You only laid the toppings on the dough so they would look even,” she snapped back pointing a finger at you, “I did all the hard work, so shush it.”

But before anyone could move to get a slice, Evan was already stretching out his arms to stop you from moving. “Wait a second,” he spoke, “I feel like I’ve watched enough seasons of MasterChef to be the first one to judge.”

“I mean, you are the best critic I know,” Nia pointed, leaning in to get a slice and offering to Evan, “but again, I don’t really know any other critics.” She humored as he took the food, making a show of analyzing it.

Everyone waited expectantly as Evan bit into the pizza slice, keeping a straight face that didn’t reveal much of his opinions. Nia leaned in his direction, nervously biting her bottom lip as she waited for his final verdict.

“You have to be honest,” she warned, observing him, “but know that I can get my feelings hurt pretty easily.”

“I don’t mind that,” Evan finally said, straightening his posture as he looked back to Nia’s waiting eyes, “I’ll say that it’s not the best pizza I’ve ever had,” he announced, “but it works.”

“You know what, I take it,” everyone laughed lightly as Nia visibly released a breath she had been holding in, “It’s not a bad review for a first time.”

The hours went by quickly as you eased into a conversation with everyone. It was nights like this you missed the most when the stress of all the accumulative work weighted on your shoulders. Having a more of a cool night to hangout with a few friends, drinking some wine and chatting about whatever topic came to mind.

As time passed, you could tell Nia and Evan got more agitated, probably due to the amount of wine they had consumed without even realizing. They chatted excitingly about Midsommar, their voices raising a bit too loud. But every time you tried to shush them, jokingly reminding of the neighbors next door, they would soon forget about it again.  You watched them babble, giggling when they would get excited on a certain topic and start to trip over a few words. 

You also felt lighter because of the alcohol, not as much as them, but still enough so you could feel your chest warmer and your mind a bit dizzy. You still felt an annoying tingle at the pit of your stomach when you felt Harry’s eyes fixating on you when you spoke, or when your hands brushed as you reached for the bottle at the center table. It was silly, and it made you feel like a teenager being in the presence of an attractive boy for the first time.

When it all quiet down eventually, Nia had dragged Evan to her room so he could give an insight on how she could decorate it. It was something she would do now and then, give her room a big renovation so the change in the space could make her more motivated, or something like that. Sometimes, if she felt inspired enough, she would change around the living area or  even your own room - when you allowed her, of course. 

Nate was still sitting on the loveseat looking like he was about to fall asleep at any moment as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn’t spoken a lot during the night, which wasn’t unusual for him, but he still managed to chat for a bit. 

That left you and Harry alone sitting on the main couch, with one person less it left you enough space to cross your legs, making yourself more comfortable. He was sitting on his side, his back resting on the big pillows by the arm of the couch, his chest turned towards you.

You reached for the wine bottle at the center table, realizing there was just a bit left, enough for a last glass for the two of you. “Wanna help me finish it?”  You turned to him with the bottle in your hand. He had a smile resting on his lips, as he raised his glass toward you so you could pour the liquid into it. You could tell his eyes were a bit cloudy, but you knew none of you had had enough to be drunk.

“Thank you, love,” he said, the raspiness on his voice as he spoke the pet name making the hairs in the back of your neck rise. You poured yourself the rest of the wine left, emptying the bottle as you settled it back where you got it. “Should we make a toast?” 

“Sure,” you replied easily, smiling at him, “what should we toast for?”

He looked away, puckering his lips slightly as he made a puzzled expression, a hand scratching at his chin as if in deep thought. You giggled at his dramatics before he pointed his finger up, his face turning into a big smile. He raised his glass in your direction, as you did the same. “A toast for being husband and wife?”

You chuckled, clinking your glasses together, “that’s fair,” you said, “ ‘s why we’re here after all, isn’t it?” you joked, taking a sip of your drink before settling it down on your lap.

“Sure is,” he mimicked, rising his glass to his lips, a smirk still adorning them as he managed to not break eye contact. He took a small sip before settling his glass back on the table.  He scratched the tip of his nose slightly with the side of his finger, before he relaxed back on the couch. “So” he spoke up, bringing your attention to him, “E told me you’re an actual actress,” he raised his eyebrows at you, “made me a bit nervous, love.”

“That right there is a lie,” you chuckled, biting your lip and shaking your head. “I used to do theatre back in the day, haven’t done any acting for years though.”

“A theatre kid, huh?” He laughed as you rolled your eyes jokingly.

“I’m aware we have a poor reputation, yes,” you said,  “I reckon we deserve it, but we weren’t that bad, I promise.”

He giggled, making your heart skip a beat at the sound. His smile was something you could easily get used to, the way it formed crinkles in his eyes and the dimples deep on his cheeks. You had to stop yourself for staring too much, moving your gaze to the glass on your lap.

“People are too harsh on theatre kids,” he reassured, “I think it seems pretty fun — only time I did it was when I played Elvis when I was about five, I think.” He added, resting his arm against the couch, his hand just a few inches away from your shoulders. “Had the time o’my life though.”

“You got main character though, that’s impressive,” you expressed, raising a hand to poke at his side playfully. “Have you done anything since your big debut as the king?”

“Can’t say I have, no,” he chuckled, “guess this is my big comeback, maybe I’ll get a call from broadway soon.”

“I’m sure you will!” You giggled, taking another sip from the glass in your hand.

You found it easy to dive into a conversation with him. You were both giggly from the wine, but it still seemed like you could stay like this for hours on end,  just talking to each other. 

He told you he wasn’t planning on doing the film, considering he never really thought about acting. But when Evan asked him if he could be part of it, he saw how desperate he was to fill the role, so he agreed. It warmed your heart to hear how fondly he spoke about his friend, telling you how willing he was to help, even if it involved doing something out of his comfort zone.

You two bounded over your mutual wish to become teachers. You found out he was studying Literature, a choice that for him as an easy one, considering throughout his life he had always been an avid reader. He said no matter how harsh thing got, he always found an escape between books, you could tell how passionate he was about it as he spoke about his favorite reads.

Eventually, you could hear voices coming closer from Nia’s room, as they seemed to be gushing about the filming that was starting soon. 

As Evan came into the room, he made his way to the couch, placing his hand on Harry’s shoulders. “Honey, as much as I wish we could stay here ‘til dawn, I’m afraid we must get going.”

With his declaration, everyone moved around to gather the dishes splattered across the center table to put it all at the kitchen counter. After some insisting -mostly on Harry’s part- on helping with cleaning, you convinced them you two could handle the task just fine. And they were the guests, after all.

Finally, you said your goodbyes, pulling Evan on a small hug, assuring him you’d do your best to do his script justice.

And as you came to face Harry, he leaned into a hug, giving you a last kiss on the cheek, before telling you how lovely it had been to meet you.

**

You had woken up with your door opening abruptly, making you jump a bit from the sudden change in the peaceful atmosphere from your deep slumber. Before you could process the situation in hand, Nia was already pulling out the covers and spitting out words at a faster pace than you could comprehend in your mind state.

“Get up already! We are very late,” She urged as you lazily scratched at your eyes before sitting up to look at her. “Evan is going to kill us!” She cried out.

Your head pounded slightly, making you search for your water bottle previously prompted by yourself the night before, knowing you would need it in the morning. You reached for it in your nightstand, taking big gulps as you watched amusingly Nia run around your room picking random clothes and throwing it in a duffel bag you had just noticed.

Resting the bottle down on your lap, you yawned lightly, still in the process of waking up. “Calm down Ni,” you mumbled, “We still have time, we’re only leaving at like, two.”

She looked back at you as if you had just slapped her across the face, your shirt falling partly from her hand. “It’s already one,” she informed, making your eyes bulge as you reached to check on your phone, confirming as it read 1:16pm. “We don’t even have our bags packed AND we got a sink full of dishes to wash.”

The minutes after that were rushed, as you two did your best to get ready as fast as possible. Mentally slapping yourself for leaving everything for the last minute, but still managing to pack your bag in record speed.

But as time passed and the list of things to do was still far from over, Nia phoned Evan and let him know you would need a few more hours to be ready to leave. To say he wasn’t the happiest about the news was an understanding, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

A couple hours later you were finally packed, and after a quick stop to shop for road trip snacks you were off on the road. 

You left much later than planned, and even if it wasn’t that much of a long drive, it was still 3 hours until you got there. The ride itself was mostly quiet, except from Lorde’s Melodrama playing softly in the background. You hummed along to the words, but apart from that there wasn’t a lot of talking between the two of you, all due to the limited amount of sleep you got from the previous night.

As you got closer, the scenery of open grass camps and blooming flowers at the peak of spring was a peaceful change of scene from the busy city streets you were used to. And when you finally got to the house, the sun was almost setting on the horizon. The sky being a satisfying mixture of blue and orange. There was a car already parked in, and as you got closer, you could see two figures sitting on the front stairs. 

Getting out of the car, you quickly made your way to where they stood. “Have you been waiting long?” Nia asked as you got closer to them. 

“Longer than I was planning to, I’ll say that,” Evan replied, taking off his sunglasses to greet you.

Harry came up from behind him, looking incredibly cozy wearing a knitted cream sweater. It took everything in you not to nuzzle on him as he met you with a quick embrace. You had to focus on keeping your breathing steady as you looked up at him when you parted. The sun coming from behind you doing wonders as it hit his face perfectly. His eyes were the prettiest shade of green as he smiled down at you before moving to greet  Nia.

“We’ve been here fo’ ten minutes, don’t listen to him,” he assured with a small laugh.

The house itself was much bigger than you expected, it wasn’t huge, by any means, but you had pictured a small cottage with barely any space for the four of you. The place, however, was big enough for you to have your privacy but still small enough to feel cozy and welcoming. 

You quickly found there were three rooms, and despite you arguing you didn’t mind sharing one with Nia, considering you two lived together, she still insisted that you and Harry had your own bedrooms. It was her way of thanking you for agreeing to help them.

After you got established in your respective room, you met everyone down at the kitchen. The place was loud with chatter as they played around while making dinner. Nia seemed to boss the boys around to cut the vegetables properly, as she concentrated on figuring out how to work the old stove. They laughed lightly as she cussed under her breath in frustration after another failed attempt. You watched quietly for a moment, before joining in to help her.

You finally turned the stove on with the help of a few matches you found laying on the counter, being able to cook with no more trouble. It was already getting late when you finished eating and gathered the dishes to lay them on the sink. Still, Nia insisted on watching one of the movies she had carefully selected on her extended collections of DvDs to bring with her. 

You decided to make yourself some tea while the rest of them moved around to arrange themselves for the movie night. After offering if anyone else wanted a cup as well, you were met with Harry’s warm smile as he accepted shyly.

Soon enough everyone settled down on the big couch to watch the movie. Evan took his place on one of the armchairs, while Harry opted to sit by the end of the couch, setting his legs on the footrest in front of him. As you walked in with your mugs, he gazed up at you, shooting a soft smile and muttering a quick ‘thank you’ as you handed him his drink.

He patted the spot next to him, indicating for you to sit, to which you happily obliged. 

“Wanna share?” he asked, holding up a blanket that lied at the arm of the couch. “There’s jus’ three of ‘em.”

“Sure,” you replied, moving to pull the blanket, so it was covering the two of you. You knew very well you could always get an extra one from one of the bedrooms, but you would never bring yourself to suggest it.

Finally, Nia entered the room with a small pack of m&m’s on one of her hands and the DvD case for ‘Love Actually’ on the other. She was quick to insert it on the player before settling down next to you. Pulling out the leftover blanket for herself, she lied down to rest her head comfortably on top of your legs.

It didn’t take long until she fell in deep slumber, cuddling up on your lap as soft snores left her lips. You pouted slightly down at her. The poor thing was exhausted from driving all the way, and the bad night of sleep the day before.

As the movie progressed, you could feel your eyelids getting heavier as well, the words coming from Keira Knightley’s mouth becoming more of a background noise as you fought to keep yourself awake. But before you could doze off, you felt Harry shifting slightly next to you. Suddenly feeling his arm hugging your shoulders, as he gently pulled you closer.

You moved your head to look at him but before you could say anything he shushed you softly and pulled you back in. “ ‘S fine, love,” he whispered, “can see that you’re tired.”

And with a half-woken mind and heavy eyelids you laid back on his shoulder and allowed yourself to snooze.

You woke up with him shifting again from under you, opening your eyes slowly to find the end credits rolling up the screen in front of you. You yawned lightly before sitting up, being careful not to wake a still-very-much-asleep Nia on your lap.

“Sorry,” you heard Harry say as you scratched at your eyes, “didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine,” you assured, your voice a bit raspy from your nap, “would have to happen, eventually.” You looked down at the unconscious girl lying on you, knowing you had to get her to bed so she could sleep properly. “We should wake her.”

“Want me to carry her to her room?” he asked.

“I think she’ll be okay,” you replied, gently calling her name so she could slowly wake up.

Surely, it didn’t take a lot of coaxing to get her eyelid to flutter open, as she lazily rose from her sleep.

You helped her to her room, afraid she’d trip down the stair in her hazy state of mind, still half asleep as she dragged her feet across the floor. 

As soon as she laid down in her bed, you made your way back to the kitchen to fix yourself a glass of water so you could go to sleep. 

It surprised you to find Harry still awake as you entered the space; he looked up at you from his position leaning on the counter with his phone in his hand. Quickly placing it in his back pocket as he saw you coming in, giving you a slight smile. “Thought you’d gone to bed.”

You reached for the cabinet Nia had pointed you to earlier where the cups were placed, picking one with little thought and closing it. “Just came here for a glass of water,” you spoke, moving the cup under the tap, “always have one next to my bed, y’know, in case I get thirsty and stuff.” You shook your head slightly, not wanting to ramble about the benefits of staying hydrated during the night just to make a conversation.

“Smart girl,” he joked, causing you to chuckle as you felt blush creeping out on your cheeks. You could see him coming closer to stand next to you from the corner of your eye, which didn’t help the tingly feeling forming at the pit of your stomach. “Excited fo’ tomorrow?” he asked, crossing his arms on top of the counter as he leaned next to you.

“Guess I am,” you answered, looking up at him and finding he was closer than you had realized. You smiled nervously as you met his eyes gazing down at you, before clearing your throat lightly. “What about you?”

“To be honest ‘m a bit nervous, love,” he confessed.

“Why’s that?” 

“I mean,” he started, his eyes still fixed on you, “ ‘s not every day I get to pretend ‘m married to a pretty girl like you.”

You could feel your heart skip a beat as he reached one of his hands to move a strand of your hair behind your ear. He kept his hand on your cheek just as his eyes seemed to gaze down at your lips, so subtly that it felt like you might’ve imagined it. 

The silence in the room was loud as you could almost hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears, as he leaned down just barely, getting closer to you. He looked down one more time at your lips, this time making sure you realized the unspoken question behind that action. You suddenly felt water pouring through your fingers, as the forgotten cup in your hand overflowed. This caused you to jump back a bit, quickly turning the tap off and resting the glass on the counter. 

“Oh my god,” you squeak, reaching out for a towel right next to the sink to dry your hand. “I’m sorry, that was-” you chuckled, glancing at Harry who seemed to watch you with an amused expression. “That was awkward, sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” He assured, picking the full glass and moving it in the counter so it was out of your reach. “ ‘t was actually quite cute,” he moved closer to you again, reaching his hand to hold at your jawline. 

You held back your breath as you felt his own hitting the top of your upper lip, your noses brushing slightly. 

“Been wanting to do this fo’ a bit now, love,” he spoke a bit above a whisper, his deep voice sending chills down your spine and making you grab at his sweater, ”would you let me?” his thumb caressed your cheek lovingly, “would you let me kiss you?”

You could feel your heart beating strongly against your rib cages, swallowing hard as you looked up at him. He was watching you closely, his dark emerald irises gazing down at you as your lips barely brushed. You nodded at him, trying to pull him closer.

“Use your words, darling,” he insisted, not budging from his position. “Wanna hear you say it.”

“Please, Harry I-” you moved your hand to grasp on his waist, “just —kiss me.”

Giving a satisfied hum, he finally leaned down, closing the space between the two of you. His hand remained stroking your cheek softly, as the other sneaked under your neck.

He moved his lips ever so slightly, his cupid bow founding its way above your inner lip, sucking on it gently. The kiss was teasingly slow, making you hyper aware of all of your senses. Your hands feeling the soft fabric of his sweater, grabbing at it as if asking for more. 

He moved the hand on your neck, pulling gently at your hair, making you angle your head up a bit. As his tongue poked to lick at your bottom lip, you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss.

You stayed like this for a while, pressed against the kitchen wall as you enjoyed the taste of each other. 

When you pulled back, he splattered a few kisses along your cheek, giving one last peck on your mouth before pulling back.

“As much as I don’t want to end this now,” he muttered, moving his hand, so they were both holding your cheeks, “We should get some sleep fo’ tomorrow.” 

“We should,” you agreed.

“We’ll get the chance to do this again,” he said, making you bite down a smile at the innuendo behind his words.

He gave you one last kiss before pulling away completely, reaching for the glass of water you had already forgotten about on the counter and handing it to you. 

You walked back to your rooms without saying a word, but still sharing glances and smiles along the way. And as you got to your respective rooms, you whispered quiet good nights before parting ways and closing the door behind you.

**

The days that followed were rushed, considering the filming had officially started. You two barely had the chance to be alone again, which was disappointing. But still you couldn’t find yourself time to miss the feel of having his soft lips against yours, considering the scenes you had with each other. What you did miss was being able to kiss him without it being written in a piece of paper, or having someone from outside tell you to. You missed the intimacy of feeling his tongue meet your own and having his hands pulling you close as you both craved for more. You missed the shared secret between just the two of you, that was knowing how it felt to have him all to yourself.

It was discomforting, earning for someone you barely even know. Jumping into a feeling you know there’s no way can end well. You both were playing characters. Lovers, yes, but it was all pretend. It didn’t help that he was so good at it. In front of the cameras he would be so loving that you often wondered how much of it was just part of the act. 

It was subtle things that made you think of it, like a glance across the room between takes. Him leaning close to you every time they called you to watch back something you had just recorded. Or when he sucked in your lip during a scene, so softly you could barely notice but still made your heart skip a beat.

But as much as it was nice to pretend that you two had some shared secret, you knew that the most likely scenario was that he was just doing his work and being friendly. So you tried your best to convince yourself that all of it was just your mind playing tricks, this way you could prevent yourself from inevitably getting hurt. That encounter in the kitchen was most likely his way of making things less awkward to when you inevitably would have to do it in front of a camera. That was it, nothing more. 

It seemed to have worked pretty well, you two had the chemistry Evan hoped for when he wrote his script. Nia kept teasing you with every given opportunity. You didn’t tell her about the late night kitchen situation, but you knew she could sense the ‘chemistry’ was not simply because you two were just that good at acting. No one was complaining though, considering everything was going so smoothly they suspected it could be wrapped up even earlier than expected.

Every time they would mention the possibility, you found yourself wishing deep down something would set you back on the schedule. You felt bad for it, and you never voice your inner thoughts, but you knew wrapping up early meant going home early, and you were getting a bit too comfortable getting to act all loved up on camera.

As if some kind of outer force had listened to your wishes, just as you were halfway throughout the week, mother nature seemed to be your biggest ally.

You had just woken up with the annoying tune of your alarm clock, one you had chosen for finding it soothing at first. But you soon found that those sounds are not meant to feel soothing at all, as it woke you from your deep slumber. You were quick to turn it off before rubbing your eyes softly and enjoying the warmth of your bed for a few more minutes. You could hear the gentle sounds of raindrops hitting your window, but barely paid any attention to it as you rose lazily, stretching your arms above your head.

Making your way down the stairs you first noticed Evan standing by the big window in the living room, looking out with a hand resting on his hip and the other one holding a mug. Behind him, in one of the armchairs, sat Harry, also drinking out of a mug as he read a book quietly. But as if he felt your presence as you got to the bottom of the staircase, he looked up, smiling at you as you made your way into the room.

“G’morning,” he spoke, alerting the man by the window of your presence as he turned around to look at you.

“Good morning,” you said back, before realizing the worried expression on Evan’s face, “is everything okay?”

“A disaster just happened, honey, look out the windows!”  he snapped, gesturing behind him where you could see the rain hitting the glass. The sky was dark with clouds, suggesting it was just the beginning of the storm that was to come. You looked back with a puzzled expression, knowing the weather was not the best, but as far as you remembered you had already shot all the scenes you needed outside. Evan rolled his eyes, “our natural light is gone, honey, it’s too dark to shoot!” he barked.

“Hey, no need to yell at her like tha’,” Harry looked back at his friend, attempting to calm him down, “ ‘s fine, we were early on schedule anyway, one day is not gonna delay it.”

He shot a look at Harry, his hand finding its way back on his waist as he let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, this is just incredibly frustrating.”

You smiled at him to assure it was fine, knowing how much stress he was putting on because of this project. “Doesn’t Nia have one of those light things you were using the other day to make the scene brighter?” You suggested.

Evan sighed, “that’s a reflector, it just— well, reflects the light, we would need the sun for it to work, and seems like she’s not showing her face anytime soon,” he weightened his shoulders down, clearly feeling defeated. “I guess today is our off day — we should use it to pray for sunlight tomorrow, otherwise I’m pulling my hair off.”

When Nia woke up, you could tell she was not happy at all with the news that filming had to be cancelled for the time being. She spent the whole breakfast whining and crying about the poor weather. You tried your best to console her, but knowing your friend you knew her dramatics showed off when she worried about something. She tended to overthink every scenario that could go wrong, which did nothing to help the pressure she put on herself.

The day went on as eventless as it possibly could, the rain outside just seeming to get angrier as time passed by. You did your best to distract Nia from her own head, asking her about the recent documentaries she had watched, knowing she could go on tangents for hours. You talked about crime shows you have started before filming and shared different theories you had on them. You even listened to her deep analysis of trashy reality shows she loved to watch and always tried to drag you to get into it.

You talked and talked with no end, considering there wasn’t much else to do. Nia’s aunt hated computers and refused to install any kind of wifi, leaving you with a shitty connection that barely loaded a five-minute video.

As the evening came by, and the raindrops still hit angrily at the windows, you decided to watch another movie — this time it was Evan’s choice of Freaky Friday. 

You volunteered to grab the blankets from the cabinets on the second floor, while Nia excitedly announced she would make popcorn for everyone.

Quickly moving along the hallway, you made your way in front of the doors and opened them. You could hear footsteps coming up the stairs as you tiptoed to  reach the top shelf where the soft blanket you had used the first night lied on top of. 

“Need help?” You heard a voice approach, looking over your shoulder to find Harry walking towards you with an amused expression on his face. You nodded, chuckling as you quickly stepped out of the way to allow him to take your place. He reached up, easily retrieving the blanket and giving it to you.

“Thank you,” you muttered, looking up at him for a moment.

“No problem, darlin’,” he said, fetching two other blankets  before closing one door with a swing of his hip. You closed the other one with a small giggle. You started to quietly move along towards the staircase when he cleared his throat, causing you to look up at him. He kept his gaze down before speaking softly, “After the movie, think I’ll go back to my room a bit early,”  he looked at you for a moment, “ ‘f you want to join me.”

You stopped walking to look at him arching your eyebrows surprised, not expecting this kind of proposal at this moment. He stopped a step ahead of you, staring back with nervous eyes and shooting you a shy smile. “I’m not saying we have to do anything, I just-” he spluttered, “just wanted to be with you, without the camera and stuff.”

You smiled at him, “of course,” you voiced, “sounds nice.”

Shortly, you found yourself in the same position as the first day. Sharing a blanket with Harry, but this time Nia was wide awake next to you with a bucket of popcorn plopped on her lap. Some people would consider her to be the worst kind of person to watch movies with, considering she would always get too excited and comment on every scene she could. You had gotten so used to it with time, that it felt weird watching a movie without her voice interrupting a scene every five minutes.

It got hard to concentrate on this one in particular, and not because of Nia’s speaking over the lines, but the sudden feeling of Harry’s hand resting on your knee halfway through it. Your legs were crossed on top of the couch, making part of it rest slightly on top of his as he eased his thumb over your skin.

As time passed, he moved his hand up a bit, finding its final place on your inner thigh, causing goosebumps to arise on the back of your neck as he caressed it softly. You caught yourself holding your breath multiple times, something he was also probably aware of, considering the position of his arm on the side of your chest. 

The tension between you two was almost palpable as the end credits rolled up. At that point you had prompted yourself to lean your head on his shoulders. He grasped your skin slightly before removing his hand and motioning his position to get up, making you pull back from him.

“‘m going back to my room now,” he announced as he got up, shooting you a knowing look, “g’night.”

You stayed back for a few minutes so as not to look too suspicious, folding up the blanket you had used and scrolling through your phone for a bit. Not long after you excused yourself, climbing the stairs two steps at a time.

You found him in the hallway, leaning in on the wall right next to his door as he looked down on his phone. As he felt your presence he gazed up, grinning softly before bringing his finger above his lips as to warn you to stay quiet.

The two rushed inside his room, trying to be as quiet as possible, considering your friends downstairs could come up at any second. He closed the door behind him, looking right at you as he leaned back. His room was similar to yours, the difference being a few more clothes lying on top of the small couch standing at the corner. The curtains hanging on the big windows were pushed open, allowing the moonlight from the now-clear sky to illuminate the place. 

Your breath got caught in your throat as you stared back at him, meeting his dark irises. He started stepping closer to you until he could lean his forehead against yours. His hands found their way caressing your jawline, one of them going as far as to pulling lightly on the hair above your neck. You held your breath, gazing up at him as you waited for his next move.

He smiled lazily, brushing his nose against your softly before placing a peck to the corner of your lips. He was teasing you, his hand leaving your hair to find its way down your body, paying special attention to the side of your breast before placing itself holding your waist.

You swallowed dryly, feeling your heart speed up as you pulled him closer, wanting desperately to close the space between the two of you. Too scared that your voice would give out your desperation, you moved one of your hands to the back of his neck and pulled him in. He didn’t think twice before finally closing the space and allowing you to feel his lips against yours.

The kiss started slow, both of you still trying to figure it out how it was to taste each other like this. His lips were soft, moving teasingly as he sucked on your bottom lip. Your hand pulled his hair gently, causing him to whine into mouth, licking at your tongue as he deepened the kiss. The hand on your waist moved up, caressing the side of your breast softly as he tried to pull you in as close as possible.

He started easing you backwards, considering neither of you were willing to break the kiss to watch where you were going. You felt the mattress of his bed hitting the back of your knees. You allowed him to lay you into the bed, parting for a moment so you could move upwards, laying your head on the pillows. Shortly enough he joined you, placing his elbows on both sides of your head, not wasting any time before closing the space between your mouths again.

The two of you stayed like this for a while. Slowly kissing each other, as your arm found its way back behind his neck and one of his hand caressed your cheek. You could get used to this, with him being the only thing you could sense. His taste. His touch. His scent. 

He was all you could think about.

When you finally pulled back, you could see his red, puffy lips even with the limited amount of lighting going into the room. 

He looked into your eyes for a moment, “you look so pretty like this, darling,” he murmured, his voice just above a whisper, sending chills down your spine. “Could eat you up.” 

A small whimper left your mouth, as he dove back in to spread kissed along your cheek and down your throat. You bit hard into your lip and swallowed back a moan as he sucked in a spot right below your jawline. You could feel him grinding his hips down on your tights, making you aware of the growing bulge inside his sweats.

You placed your hand on his shoulders, pushing him gently and disconnecting him from your neck. He pulled back, looking back at you with a puzzled look. You kept pushing him until his shoulders hit the mattress, reverting the previous position you both were in, as you stranded his waist.

Looking down at him, you wanted so badly to discover his body, to make him feel good. So you took the same position he had on you. Placing your lips against his neck and running your tongue against it, sucking in his skin. You kept doing it as your hand smoothed down his body, finding the hem of his shirt and lifting it enough so you could scratch at his love handles. He gave you a small moan, a sound so delicious to hear you that made you want to swallow him whole. 

Both his hands found their place on your waist, pressing you down so you could feel his need between your tights. You quickly pulled your head from his neck, giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“Please, love, just-” he grunted, looking up at you with pleading eyes. “Just do something, please, I-“

His hands gripped tightly on your waist as you rolled your hips against him. Neither of you could contain your moans as you repeated the movement, even fully clothed his bulge rubbed deliciously against the place you needed it the most. 

You leaned down again, this time pushing his shirt up as you made your way down his body, splattering open-mouthed kisses along his warm chest. You paid a special mind to the tattoos you met along the way, sucking spots over the wings of a butterfly inked on his stomach. As you licked along the leaves of the ferns that adorned his love handles, you felt one of his hands tangling in your hair, his hips rising slightly as he whimpered.

“A bit impatient, you are,” you spoke, feeling his belly tighten as you placed a playful bite under his belly button, causing another moan to leave his lips.

“Darlin’, please,” he whined, “Just- fuck, just need you right now.”

You decided not to tease him for too long, considering you needed it just as much as he did. Finally, you moved down once more to place a kiss above the hard on over his pants. He lifted his head, watching your every move as his hand that was placed on your hair pushed some strands away from your forehead. You wrapped your hand around the hem of his sweats, rising your eyebrows at him as you felt he wasn’t wearing any underpants. The thought of having such easy access to him making you press your thighs together, feeling your wetness already damping your underwear 

Slowly, you bit your bottom lip, keeping your gaze focused on him as you moved his sweats down, he raised his hips as to help you out. Once his cock was fully out, you stared back down at it lying proudly against his stomach. You ran your fingers gently along his length, causing him to hold his breath, his abdomen tightening once more. He was definitely bigger than anyone you had ever been with, causing your mouth to water a bit and your thighs to press together once again at the thought of fully having him.

You could feel him peering down at you as you wrapped your hands around the base and applied the smallest amount of pressure. The precum was already escaping from the tip and sliding down the tiniest bit. 

Moving your head forward you looked back at his waiting eyes, spitting on top of the head as you moved your hand up caressing it. This time he gave you an actual moan, throwing his head back at the pillows behind him. 

Looking down at him, you didn’t know where to place your lips first, wanting to bite and lick every part of his body. Finally deciding on sucking a spot on his thigh, right next to where rested an ink of a tiger head.

You kept the movement of your hand, twisting it and applying more pressure eventually as you watched him shift around under you. He raised his hips slightly as he pleaded under his breath for more, his hand firmly on top of your head as the other was thrown above his own.

You moved your thumb to run across his slit, caressing the head with a flick of your wrist as you moved your mouth to place kisses at the base. At this point he became a moaning mess, throwing his arm over his mouth as to muffle the sounds while you licked up his shaft.

“God- fuck- such a good girl,” he moaned on his arm, moving it out of the way so he could look down at you. “Doing so good, you feel so good- shit.”

Smiling at him, you jerked him off a couple of times before resting your hand at the base so you could replace it with your mouth.

You licked around his head, giving it a small kiss before you moved down as far as you could go. He cried out, tightening his grip on your hair and moving his hips up to meet your movements as you sucked on him.

He was desperate to reach his climax, and you were desperate to see him cum undone under your touch. So you started speeding up, your mouth licking at his veins, your hand helping you as you moved it along his dick. He was cursing and moaning over you, pleading for you not to stop. You kept moving your hand as you licked at his head once more before detaching so you could look up at him with pleading eyes.

“Almost there?” you asked, having him nod frantically at you, “will you let me have a taste?”

That seemed to do it for him, as he pushed your head back down, making you attach your lips to his head as you felt him shoot his load inside your mouth. You milked him as he came down from his high, feeling his softness on your lips as you swallowed down.

You sat up and looked down at his hazy eyes while he calmed down with heavy breaths. He adjusted his sweats quickly before moving himself up to pull you in for a frantic kiss. “God, darling, you’re a dream,” he spoke between kisses, his hands gripping at your waist as he positioned you to lie on top of him, moving one of them under your shirt, pulling it up slowly.

You quickly placed your hand on top of his stopping him from going further as you detached from him. He furrowed his brows at you. “I should go back to my room,” you said, “got an early day tomorrow.”

He gave you a puzzled look, “but you still haven’t- “

“it’s okay,” you interrupted, moving to get up from his bed, suddenly feeling nervous under his gaze, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Good night!”

You left his room before he could protest, wanting to slap yourself from running away like this. 

**

The next morning was thankfully much brighter than the one before, with sunlight shining through the windows at the earliest hours. You didn’t get a lot of sleep, tossing and turning around, replaying the previous night in your head. The thought of what could’ve happened if you had stayed imprinted itself in your mind. You started to overthink it. What did he even think of you? After running away like that? 

Your thoughts consumed you as you sat in of the stools in the kitchen by yourself, for the first time being the first to be awake. Your coffee running cold by the minute, as you frowned to yourself, taking a sip every so often.

It didn’t take long until you didn’t find yourself alone anymore, having Evan join you as he happily cheered about the nice weather. You nodded along to him, not really in the mood for talking as you anxiously poked at your nails.

It was when you walked towards the sink to wash your used mug that you saw Harry walking into the kitchen. His hair messy and his eyes sleepy, making you annoyed at how charming he managed to look even after just getting out of bed. 

He greeted you with a raspiness to his voice, his eyes lingering on you a moment too long as he smirked before moving to the cabinets. He stood next to you while you washed the dishes, grabbing himself a bowl while he worked on his breakfast.

Yours arms would brush every so often as you moved while doing your tasks, making you gaze at him. He kept a grin sitting on his face as he casually made a conversation with Evan, his dimple poking out the smallest bit, but still not looking back at you.

As soon as you were finished you left for your bedroom so you could get ready for the day, but not before sparing one last glance at Harry. This time his eyes were already trained on you as he chewed slowly his fruit salad. You felt your cheeks getting a bit warm from the eye contact, making you look down and leave the room with a speeding heart.

The work started early, as you ran around to keep up with the schedule after losing one day of productivity. 

Harry seemed to be in it for teasing you. His touches lingered longer than needed. His kisses were harsher, the need behind them being almost palpable. His gaze on you told you something you couldn’t really tell exactly what it was. Lust? Desire? You weren’t entirely sure, but every time you caught him watching you felt a warmth take over your face.

In one occasion, between takes, as Nia and Evan discussed the best position for the camera considering her broken tripod. You stood awkwardly waiting for their instructions as you played with the hem of your dress. You could feel him staring closely, looking up to find him with the same smirk he gave you in the morning. He looked quickly over your friends who were still trying to figure out the problem before leaning up close to you “Still haven’t let me have a taste, love,” he said quiet enough to that just you could hear, the words sending a chill down your spine and making your core twitch as you glanced back at him.

That same night, after you announced you’d tuck yourself in, just as you changed into your pajama shorts, you heard a soft knock on your door.  You opened up to see his darkened irises staring back at you as he quietly let himself in. And within a few minutes he found his place between your legs, your hand gripping tightly at his curls as you moaned into your pillow.

The  following day wasn’t much different, starting with a tight filming schedule that was coming to a close end. An exchanging of glances across the room and yearning touches with underlying motives behind them. Ending with you lurking into his room at the dark hours of the night, craving-filled touched and muffled moans.

**

The wrap up of the film was welcomed with a bittersweet feeling settling itself in the pit of your stomach. Knowing as much as you were glad everything had gone as smoothly as possible during this week, it was time to leave it all behind. 

You were nervous about how it would be with Harry after you got home. Was this the start of something that could potentially become a warm and beautiful feeling? Or was it just a lust-filled affair that would end as quickly as it had started? It made you anxious to think about it, not wanting to let go of it just yet.

Nia walked into the living room with two champagne bottles that had been brought up for this exact moment. The atmosphere was filled with chatter as everyone celebrated the end of the hard work. 

You were dressed in the fanciest clothes you had brought on your rushed-packed bag, which consisted itself in a black blouse and a loose pair of pants you stole from Nia’s wardrobe a couple weeks prior. But you once again could not compete with Evan’s sense of style, as he seemed right out of a cover with a hot pink turtleneck under a sparkly black dress that hung all the way to his feet.

But you still couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.

You watched as he laughed along at something that had been said, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before fixing on Nia as she offered to serve him the champagne she had just opened. 

He looked so good. 

Like you, he didn’t opt for a very glam look, wearing a simple graphic white tee with a rainbow printed on it, and a simple pair of checked trousers. But as plain as someone could argue it was, he still managed to look incredibly inviting, which made it harder for you not to latch yourself onto him.

You were coming into your sixth or seventh glass when it all died down. Your head was fuzzy, and you felt giggly as you cheered along with everyone about the successful week you had. Nia had already gone back to her room. She didn’t  drink as much considering she would have to drive early in the morning, wanting to leave most of the celebration for the premiere day. 

The glances stolen between you and Harry were getting more frequent, the longing in each other's eyes visible with the effect of the alcohol.

**

He had you pressed up against your bedroom door as he sucked in your bottom lip harshly. His hands gripped at your waist tightly, putting his weight against you.

You wrapped your hand around his neck as the other pulled at his shirt desperately with the need of having him close. You felt overwhelmed by him in the nicest way. Having his hips pressing against your own, making you open your tights slightly as you felt his arousal straining on his trousers.

You whimpered into his mouth at the feeling, suddenly needing him as close as possible. You could tell his desperation matched your own by the way his hand pressed on the side of your body and his mouth moved against you. His groans getting lost in your throat every time you tangled your fingers on his roots, pulling at it.

“You’re gonna kill me like this, baby,” he breathed out, his lips moving against your wanting ones, “so fuckin’beautiful.”

You tried to keep your shaky hands steady as they travelled down his chest, scratching as his tummy lightly under his shirt before you began pulling it up. He detached from you to quickly reach over his shoulders and pull it off completely.  He didn’t waste any time bringing his hand to unbutton your blouse, peppering kisses along your lips as he moved it down your shoulders, only to be met with your bare breasts underneath.

“Fuck me,” he groaned staring down at you, attaching your lips once again as he pulled you from the door as he fiddled with the zipper of your pants. You stumbled on each other's arms across the floor until you were met with the plush feeling of the bedcovers on the back of your thighs. 

You stepped out of your pants as they got loose around your waist and fell damply to the floor, allowing Harry to push you gently into the mattress. He quickly got rid of his own trousers, wasting no time before towering above you, connecting your mouths once again.

It was like no matter how close you were, it still wasn’t good enough to satisfy the craving you had. You still wanted more. Needed more. 

He was fully licking into you, his hands gripping your tights as he rolled his hips to meet yours. You moaned in unison at the feeling of your arousals meeting deliciously as he repeated the movement once more before parting your mouths so he could spread kisses along your neck.

“Harry,” you breathed out his name, dragging your nails along his back as you moved your hips up eagerly.

He moved his head from your neck o hover above yours, licking his lips teasingly as he looked down at you with dark eyes. He moved one of his hands to caress your cheek lovingly, as the other found your breast, his thumb grazing over your nipple. “Can I have a taste, baby?” he leaned his forehead against your, not breaking eye contact, “just a fo’a bit, then you can have me.”

You nodded frantically, brushing your nose against his. He gave you one last peck on the lips before moving down again to lick down at your skin. He pressed open-mouthed kisses at your chest, sucking harshly between your breasts.  His tongue moved along your belly, craving his finger into it playfully like you had done to him, making you squeal above him.

He finally settled down between your thighs, his hand gripping at them to keep it apart before moving teasingly slow to the hem of your underwear. Your breath got caught in your throat as you moved up to lean on your elbows, gazing at him, hyper-aware of his every move. 

He looked up, grinning like a devil, before moving his face down to nose gently at your mound. Pulling away, he pressed his hands on your sides, sliding your underwear off your legs as you helped him, raising your hips slightly.

You whimpered as you felt him kiss along your inner thigh, meeting your middle as licked you once. Your hips raised impatiently, making him smirk at you again before completely diving in.

You got lost in the pleasure as he licked his tongue into you, letting yourself fall back in the cushions behind your head. Your hand moved to grip at his hair tightly as he sucked in your clit, making you yelp and call out his name. His mouth was warm as his saliva mixed with your own wetness every time he licked into you.

Feeling your arousal pooling on your folds, you desperately needed to feel him as close as possible. Wanting every inch of him against you.

You pushed him from you, grabbing at his shoulder so he could move up to face you again. He didn’t protest, spattering quick kisses along the way before pressing his mouth against yours. The taste of champagne still lingering on your tongue mixed with your own taste on his as he licked into your mouth.

“y’taste so good, baby,” he groaned, parting from you as he moved to remove his briefs. The limited amount of light illuminated his face beautifully, making you able to notice the glistening of your juices down his chin. You felt your core twitch at the scene above you, desperate to have him fill you up.

“Please,” you urged him, grabbing at his hips to pull him down.

“Can I have you, darlin’?” His voice was raspy, as he looks down at you with hooded eyes, “‘d you let me?”

Your arousal blurred your mind, your grip on his waist tightened as you raised your hips impatiently, nodding along to his question.

“Have to hear you say it, love,” he spoke, leaning down to place kisses along your neck, “just say it, and you’ll have me.”

“You can have me, please, I-” you moaned desperately, babbling words without thinking, “I need you, please.”

He raised his head from your shoulders, giving you a quick peck before reaching down to guide his length between your folds. Your belly tensed as he rubbed his head against your clit, holding back your breath as he finally slid in you.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he choked, pushing his hips all the way, allowing you to feel every inch of him fill you up. You breathed out a moan, reaching your hand on his back. “‘s this all fo’ me?”

You whined out a ‘yes’, rolling your hips as a way of urging him to move. 

His movements began slow, his cock rubbing heavenly against your walls, making you clench around him. You both moaned and whimpered as your lips brushed.

“Can feel me deep?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours as he pushed his dick all the way in. You nodded, yearning for him to start moving again. “Can feel me in y’belly?”

“H, please,” you begged, gripping your nails on his shoulder blades.”Want you.”

“y’have me,” he kissed you hard before moving again, rolling his hips as he picked up the pace.

 The air around you was hot as you threw your head back with the delicious feeling of him hitting the spot inside of you. He was addicting. The salty taste of his skin. The touch of his hands gripping on your sides. The smell of his cologne faintly mixed with sweat. The sound of his skin meeting yours. It made you earn for him in every possible way. 

You felt your wetness dripping out of you as he pulled your leg up to your chest, allowing him to effectively hit deeper spots. The new position made a cramp start to creep up on your thight, but you ignored it to focus on the way his hips met yours.

Time seemed to pass like a blur as you pleasured each other, but soon enough you felt your orgasm building up. His thrusts became more frequent and smooth as he felt you clench more around him.

“that’s it, baby - fuck,” he grunted, moving his hand down to flicker your clit, causing to arch your back, moaning loudly. “Wanna feel you come for me.”

His cross necklace dangled over you as he watched you closely. You kept your gaze locked on his as you felt the feeling deep in your tummy take over your entire body. A moan got stuck in your throat as you opened your mouth to an ‘O’ shape, digging your nails further on his shoulders as you reached your high.

**

Getting home, you soon realized that throughout the week you had been so lost in your feelings with Harry that you didn’t even think of asking him for his phone number. 

The month that followed passed by surprisingly quickly. During the first week you were swiftly thrown back again into your old reality of course essays and textbooks. You hadn’t heard a word from Harry, and the most frustrating part is that he seemed to have settled his place inside your thoughts. You tried asking about him to Nia once or twice again, but every time she seemed to come up with vague answers and change the subject, so you figured she had other things to worry about. 

It was a disappointing end, to say the least. Even knowing from the start that being let down was the most possible outcome, it didn’t hurt any less. You often wondered if it had been something you’d done that made him pull away, or if he just wasn’t in it from the start.

By the second week you had gotten a job at a tiny local cafe you used to go after class to study and eat cinnamon rolls. That’s when time starting to rush by, as you found yourself busy through most of your day. Nia was working more than you’ve ever seen her. You two barely talked as she spent most of her time with Evan or inside her room editing. And as the week at the camp house got further away, it started to almost seem like you had imagined all of it. 

Having a lot of distractions helped, but you never seemed to push the thought of a certain curly-haired boy completely away. Sometimes during a tedious lesson you would daydream about the feeling of his lips against yours. Or right before you fell asleep you would think about the taste of his skin, how strong his hand were gripping on your thighs. Maybe even at work. When there wasn’t a lot of movement, you could almost hear the sound of his voice.

It was aggravating, the effect he left on you. It got to a point where you got angry; sometimes at him but sometimes at yourself. He was the one who had gone after you, and yet he was the one who disappeared. But again, he didn’t really owe you anything, and that’s what’s frustrating. You were the one who allowed him; you knew from the start that you would get hurt but you still went for it, anyway.

As you got closer to the premiere night that was planned, you started to get anxious. You would catch yourself daydreaming more often, not being as focused as you were. You even started picking your nails again, which is a habit you thought you’d kick it a long time ago. But truth to be told, you were nervous.

The thought about seeing him again made your heart race. You wished that you could somehow find a way not to go. Maybe ask Nia if the two of you could have a private viewing. You had even thought about bribing her with making your mom’s brownie recipe. But you already knew the answer before you even suggested it. This was an important night for her, and you would be there to support it.

You were overthinking this. Was it going to be awkward when you met him? How would you even greet him? Would he kiss you? Would he ignore you? Should you ignore him? All the scenarios in your head made you want to throw up and run away.

**

When the two of you finally arrived, you were greeted by a cheerful Evan, who jokingly teased you for being late. As you got into his house, you found a bigger group than you expected. It seemed like you and Nia were the last ones to arrive, as there was around ten other people in there. Some of them you recognized from being Nia’s friends, others you had never seen, but none was the one you earned to see the most.

Evan guided you across the living room area, “I’ll show you the kitchen so you two can get some drinks,”  He held up his glass as he spoke. Gesturing to the entrance of the room, “We’ll start everything in around ten minutes, so get ready.”

As you entered the kitchen behind Nia, you could feel her stiffen her posture a bit, before looking back at you. You frowned lightly at her, confused by her behaviour, gazing inside the room and finding immediately a pair of green eyes already watching you. It made you think back to the first time you were in this exact position, except in your own kitchen. This time, however, he was the one to approach you.

He looked really good, which did nothing to help the butterflies flying relentlessly in your stomach. He was in all black, a buttoned up shirt with a few buttons open, exposing a bit of the skin on his chest where a silver necklace laid upon. You swallowed dryly at the sight of his hand running swiftly through his hair, with a ring hugging each one of his fingers. 

As he got close, he greeted Nia first, giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning his attention back to you. He shot you a shy smile, before embracing you into a hug. You didn’t really know if it was your mind playing tricks but you felt him a bit hesitant as he greeted you and placed a kiss on your cheek. Pulling away, he cleared his throat, running his hand again through his hair, he almost seemed… nervous?

“‘S nice seeing you again,” he mumbled, “this uhm… ‘s my girlfriend, Jess.”

You could felt your heart drop with his words as you finally noticed a smiley girl coming to his side. 

She wasn’t much taller than you, her red hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail. She matched him with a small black dress that annoyingly hugged her body in all the right ways. You could barely register her greeting you, as you tried your best to keep a straight face to hide the shock that took over your body. You felt a heaviness at the pit of your stomach, a feeling so distressful that made you want to scream as an attempt to make it go away.

You didn’t pay a lot of attention as Nia made a conversation with the girl, knowing that’s what she did best. You kept your gaze directed to Harry, your eyes asking a million questions - you didn’t even think you wanted to know the answers to. But he kept his eyes locked on the floor, eventually looking up at the girl in his arms as she seemed to mention him. But never meeting your own.  Her hand was caressing his chest lovingly while his found their way on her waist, keeping her close.

“I think I’ll get something to drink,” you announced, realizing you might’ve interrupted the conversation as they stopped talking. You turned to Nia, “do you want something?”

She looked back at you with sorry eyes, “I should go with you,” she quickly turned back to the girl, “It was lovely meeting you, Jess.”

“Oh! Sure,” she smiled brightly at you two, her hand moving to rest on Harry’s chest, “we should go get our seats as well, right, babe?” 

You left the scene as quickly as you could, not wanting to hear any more of it. Looking at all the drink options on top of the counter, you tried to think which one could get you drunk enough to stop feeling hurt over someone you spent just a week with, but still sober enough so that you could pretend everything was fine. Before you realized, Nia was standing next to you, getting two plastic pink cups before she stared at you with guilty-filled eyes.

“I should’ve just told you about it,” she sighed, “I didn’t want to make you sad, but looking back it was probably best if you already knew.”

You turned your head to look at her, “so you knew it all along?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as you felt it close once again.

“Evan told me like a few days after we got back!” She rushed, “I don’t know if they were together while we were filming.”

You took a deep breath, knowing Nia was probably blaming herself for putting you into this situation. But you knew it wasn’t her fault, she would never purposely put you in this position if she knew about it before.

“You know what, it’s fine,” you tried your best to cover up the hurt and gave her a weak smile, “it’s not your fault Ni. It’s okay. I’m fine.”

She pulled you into a tight hug, “I’m sorry, bubba,” she said, “let’s get you something to drink so you can enjoy this party like the star you are!”

The two of you decided on the vodka mixed with watermelon juice, something you had never even thought of trying before but seemed to be ideal to handle the situation you found yourself in. You walked back to the living area, where people were already beginning to settle on the chairs. 

Following Nia, you prompted yourself on a seat at the edge closest to the door, opposite to where Harry sat with the girl. His girl. You thought bitterly, taking a big sip from your cup and cringing at the strong taste.

There was a speech you didn’t pay much attention to before they started the film, only giving a slight smile when you realized the mention of your name. 

Before you knew it, the lights were out and your face took over the screen. 

It was harder than you thought it would be.  Looking up at the scenes you had with Harry, knowing everything that happened behind the cameras. Knowing every touch and every kiss felt more than just playing a character. You knew the actual feeling of having him to yourself. But now staring at it right in front of you, it just left a sour taste in your mouth. 

You finished your drink barely ten minutes into the film, the feeling of your chest aching starting to become overwhelming as you watched your shared kiss on the big screen. You could feel your throat close once more, your eyes watering a bit.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you whispered to Nia sitting next to you, who gave you a sympathetic smile as you got up. You glimpsed quickly to Harry who had his eyes trained on you, the girl next to him leaning to whisper something in his ear.

You could feel the tears falling down stubbornly as you left the room. Standing in the hallway, you made the decision to turn to the front door instead of the back, not wanting to face anyone with reddish eyes.

You left the house, picking your phone with shaky hands as you managed to call a ride home, sighing in relief as your screen told you it was just about three minutes away.

You heard the door open behind you as stood on the sidewalk hugging yourself to get some warmth on the chilly night. You tried your best to swallow back your tears as you turned around, expecting to find Nia looking at you with pitiful eyes. 

To your surprise, the person standing there was Harry, looking like a deer caught in the headlights as he took in your tearful eyes. He spoke your name in a soft voice, causing you to look away.

“Don’t-” you interrupted, raising your hand at him, “I don’t wanna hear it.”

He frowned at you, not wanting to upset you more. “I’m sorry,” he hesitated, taking a step forward.

Your phone buzzed in your hand, as you watched your ride pulling in front of you. You looked back at him, “I’m sorry too,” you said before moving to enter the car. 

You spared him one last glance through the window as the driver pulled away.

[echo-three-one]

1 - A new Start

A new beginning.

Belinda smiled at the thought of her fresh start as she rolled over her bed and pulled her sheets, getting up as soon as she realized that it smelled different, almost like a masculine perfume.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she got up and realized that she was on the sofa, stark naked and there's a bare man's ass lying on the carpet.

"Shit." she muttered as her head started to pound and memories of last night quickly assaulted her still fragile mind.

She could remember going to the bar as soon as she unpacked one box and met someone there. She did her best to recall a name, but nothing rang. It seemed like she managed to sleep with this person without the effort of knowing his name, and that only happens when she's drunk and lets her guard down.

The man in question grunted and rolled as Belinda quickly tossed his shirt to cover his crotch, saving her from the view that she was almost about to see.

"Hey there, Jane Doe." he greeted with a cocky smirk as he slowly reached for his other clothes.

"Yeah. You got to go, now. I have work in an hour." She quickly shuffled and helped him leave her apartment.

"Really? Just like that? We gave each other an unforgettable night and I can't even get your name? Or a cup of coffee?" he joked as he pulled his pants up and buttoned it, his face looking like he was waiting for her answer.

Belinda just shot her an annoyed look.

"My name won't matter anymore. What happened last night was the old me saying goodbye to old habits. And that person who slept with you is no longer me." She explained as she slowly pushed him to the door.

"Well, I'm Russell. And don't worry Jane Doe, this is a small town. It'll only take me a few hours to get your name. See you around!" He winked as he closed the door and left Belinda staring at it for a few seconds.

He was right. This was a relatively small town and if he's a local, they're bound to cross paths anytime soon. And she admittedly enjoyed his company last night, but just as she told herself, that was the last time that she's going to do that. A new life meant that she must be careful with anyone she sleeps with.

With a self nod of approval and agreement to herself, she proceeded to prepare herself for her first day on her new job.

Ever since she was young, teaching was always her passion and she went all out to pursue her dream of sharing knowledge to the next generation. And after quitting her previous teaching job back at her hometown, she was glad that she got accepted in this new university as an English professor.

"Good Morning Ms. Belinda Ivanov and welcome to the university. Thank you for responding to our job vacancy on such short notice. You're like, the school's heavensent." The Dean, Helen Park, greeted, offering her a seat as she started to orient her about the university. Her British accent was distracting Belinda in a good way, as she dictated each word in a very convincing and understandable manner.

"Yes. I should also thank you for accepting my uh- application despite the previous records." Belinda shyly replied as Helen smiled at her reassuringly.

"Well, Miss Ivanov, those kinds of events rarely happen here as we cater to a more mature demographic and this school seeks talent more than attitude, so you are more than fit to be here. I'm pretty sure you have learned your lesson from your suspension and turned a new leaf, right?" She asked as she read her application.

"Yeah. A fresh start…" Belinda muttered as Helen nodded, her head turned quickly as soon as she noticed someone walk behind Belinda.

"Alex!" She called, causing the floor to squeak as the person's shoe made a complete halt.

"Yes, Miss Park?" Belinda turned to the person whom the dean called. A charming man, around his late 20s peeked through the ajar door and smiled at them.

"I'd like you to meet our new English Professor, Belinda Ivanov." Belinda shyly greeted the fine man as he was dressed in a brown sweater vest which was embracing his body nicely. Belinda shook off her thoughts as she followed Alex to the rest of the school grounds, trailing behind him as he ventured across the university halls.

Of course the first two men he'd meet would be extremely attractive, she thought to herself as she never bothered to pay attention to what Alex was muttering about and just admired his physical appearance. Old habits die hard, she added to her thoughts.

"The previous English teacher is on maternity leave. She used to sit here and you'll be taking this empty seat next to Russ." He explained as her head quickly turned to Alex as soon as he said that name.

"What's wrong? You know Russell?" Alex raised an inquisitive look at Belinda.

"Oh.. uh.. nothing. It's just a name that brings back memories." She lied as she sat down and set her stuff on her new desk.

She still had an hour left before her first class, so she started studying about her lesson plan. She did go over her introductory topic a thousand times over, but she was never too confident on delivering it. And while she was murmuring her lessons, she noticed something move to her left. She veered her eyes towards it and noticed that cheek scar and blonde hair. Who would've guessed that Russell from last night and Russell from the History Department would be one and the same.

Belinda quickly bowed her face down and covered it with her lesson plan trying to hide her from his prying eyes. Teachers slowly came inside the faculty room and all Belinda wished was for the bell to ring and let them all leave.

While she's thinking of her move to exit the area without getting Russell's attention, she felt a hand on her shoulders and let out a surprised shriek. Everyone else looked at her as her fellow female professor tapped her shoulder and wanted to give her a pen that fell on the ground.

The awkward silence was almost deafening as she met with everyone in the most embarrassing way ever. The staring stopped as soon as Alex introduced her to the whole teaching staff and most of the teachers greeted her a warm welcome.

While she shook hands and smiled with everyone in the room, she couldn't help but notice Russell looking at her almost mischievously. Remembering his statement about this place being a small town and he'll know it eventually.

Belinda couldn't remember most of their names and as soon as the last person shook hands with her, Russell quickly turned his chair to face hers.

"Hello, Ms. Belinda. Nice to meet you." He extended a hand and Belinda gulped. She quickly shook it as she felt his grip tighten around her hand, just like last night.

"You too, Mr. Adler." she said, peeking at his nameplate on his desk. Their eyes met for a second before Belinda quickly averted her gaze on the intercom system as it chimed in the first bell.

"That's one of my classes." She said, quickly getting up and leaving the faculty room. Behind her, Alex Mason quickly followed and walked her to her class.

"You look confident for someone who's new to this school. Do you know where you're going?" he asked as soon as he caught up with her.

"No." She hummed confidently, making the math professor chuckle.

"I could just ask a student, or look up a directory." She added, hinting that she didn't need any help.

"Well, that works too. But if you're also new in town, here's my number. I could… like, give you a tour or something." he said, reaching out a business card from his pocket. Belinda took the card and looked at it just before she took a left turn.

"Your class is this way." Alex pointed in the opposite direction and Belinda shyly thanked him before entering her first subject.

~

Belinda felt fine with the new setup, the new students and the new environment. The students were engaging about the idea of a new teacher and so far, her only problem was Russell Adler, the main person she's trying to get away from. And while she's thinking of ways to not talk to her seatmate, a sign just showed up in front of her on her way back to the teacher's lounge.

"Hey. Have you had lunch yet?" The fresh minty breath of the Math Professor, Alex Mason, wafted across her nose, a scent that felt good as his presence radiated too close in front of her. Belinda wasn't oblivious, Alex was extremely attractive, with his freshly shaved face, his neatly combed hair and his masculine scent, but she promised herself to focus on her career in this new town. Then another sign in the form of Russell Adler passed behind Alex and she was sure as hell that their eyes met before heading straight to the teacher's lounge.

"Sure… I don't know any good places to eat here. I appreciate the friendly gesture." Belinda shyly replied as Alex's grin spread from ear to ear.

"Great! Follow me. It's not too far from here and the food is great!" he cheered as they both walked to the exit, Belinda checking behind her to see if Russell saw the whole scenario or not.

The events were so quick she wasn't really sure if she's doing the right thing, but as long as she doesn't have to talk to the blonde man, she'll be fine. She could avoid him forever if she needed to.

"So, How'd you get to know Russell Adler?" Alex started off as he started to chew off his steak.

Belinda quickly twisted her fork around her salad, wondering if she should tell him the truth and get this over with. But seeing as Alex was sending him signals of admiration, she quickly dismissed that idea and proceeded to lie. Change was hard for Belinda, but it was what she saw best.

"He helped me out on my move, by accident of course." She replied as she took a bite of a slice of tomato.

"Ohh. Then why aren't you two that close? Did something happen?" He asked. He was getting curious and Belinda was starting to create a chain of lies which was not good.

"Well, it's just a chance meeting, there's nothing more to discuss after the move. So yeah… back to normal." She replied as she saw Alex's shoulders relax. Was he jealous? Belinda thought to herself.

"So, how was the first day?" He changed the topic as quick as that and Belinda started to feel eased. She could talk to him all day as long as it was not about her buried past.

"It was fine. I'm honestly glad that I felt comfortable in my first four classes. Usually the students take time to adjust to a new teacher." She explained as Alex chuckled.

"Mine's the same as always, blank expressions on everyone's faces. I mean it's numbers! Their faces are telling me like, The numbers Mr. Mason? What do they mean?" he laughed. Admittedly, being a math teacher feels hard, everyone hates you and wishes you don't exist.

"I tried teaching math once. They really hated every fiber of my being. And we also have supplemental classes every Saturday taking away my life." Belinda groaned as Alex nodded in agreement.

"I'll be in one of those after the first exams. That's why I'm making the most of these weeks." He smiled as he fished out something from his pocket.

"If you want, I have 2 tickets for a live band in the next town. It's on a Saturday evening and I could drive us there if you want." He reached out for one of the two tickets, sending Belinda on another tough decision. Now it's really clear that this wasn't just a friendly date.

Belinda carefully looked at the ticket and gulped as the pressure set it. The longer she leaves him hanging, the more awkward this situation gets. And honestly, she was totally free on a Saturday evening. Plus Alex looked like a good guy. So without further thinking, she took his tickets and nodded, making the man grin in excitement and probably doing an internal happy dance in his mind.

"Great! I'll pick you up at 7. I know it's still five days from now but I just want you to know that I'm happy you joined me." He says gratefulls as the two of them finished their meal and went back to the school to finish the rest of the day.

[sleepybutwriting]

Are you okay? | Fatherly!Yamada

_____

Pairing: Fatherly!Yamada x Reader

Summary: Hizashi sees that you, his favorite student, was attacked on the news and immediately goes to check up on you.

Request: “P1. Hizashi's favorite student lives alone and she fights a dangerous villian on her way to go home. She eventually gets out because the police shows up. Hizashi finds out through the news, (please capture his reaction) she goes into her apartment to find him sitting there, looking stern and worried. He's basically like a protective dad to her (just so it doesn't seem weird and inappropriateish) she's all battered and bruised and she tries to aviod the subject by nervously making jokes. P2. He confronts her about and she nervously tries to leave the apartment saying she had a thing going on because she didn't want him to worry about here and he basically cages her/traps her (again, not in a weird way, in a 'you're not going anywhere until you tell me what happened' dad kinda of way) Please make it long.I've requested this to other accounts and I kid you not, people refused to write it because it they didn't read/understand it right and insulted me then called it inappropriate. - Anonymous”

Notes: I had a difficult time keeping Hizashi in character, but I hope this is an okay end result.

_____

You were staying late after school to get extra help with English. It was your worst subject. And even though you hated the class, you loved your teacher. Yamada Sensei was always eager to help you when he saw you struggling. And you would stay after so many days that the two of you naturally grew close.

Your parents had died when you were young and of course, you had mentioned this to him. He was caught off guard at first, but it explained why you were so mature when compared to the rest of the kids in your class. He was ecstatic when you decided to share the information with him, it only succeeded in strengthening your already growing bond. At that moment he had unknowingly taken it upon himself to become your stand-in parent.

It didn’t take long until the two of you became a well-known pair. He was your favorite teacher. And you were his favorite student, and pretty much all of UA knew it. He always hyped you up before matches and cheered you on during. Even when you begged him to stop because it drew unnecessary attention. He even stayed late whenever you needed extra help on an assignment to make sure you understood everything.

“Okay, so which one of these sentences is incorrect?” He questioned, pointing over to one of the questions. They all seemed right to you, but ‘B’ stood out as being slightly odd so you just went with it.

“Yeah! All right, I think you got this down. You keep this up and you’ll rock next week’s test.”

“That’s perfect. I could really use another good grade if I’m going to get my average up.” 

“You’ll do great! Now all ya gotta do is rest up.” He encouraged, glancing down at his watch slightly before speaking up again “Come on, I’ll drop ya off. It’s kinda late.”

“Nah, I’m good. I could use the fresh air.” The two of you often stayed late so it wasn’t uncommon for him to offer you a ride home. He always slept easier knowing that you made it home okay. It stressed him out sometimes knowing that you were home alone with no one to look after you.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Yamada Sensei, I’m sure.” You assured him. But he still didn’t look like he was ready to give in. “I’ll go straight home. No shortcuts, no scenic routes, just from here to home.” He seemed to ease up slightly at your statement. And after making you promise to go straight home he agreed.

You had made it home fine. It wasn’t until you got there that you remembered that you didn’t really have enough food for dinner. You had forgotten to go grocery shopping earlier in the week and were surviving solely off of takeout. Not sure you could stomach another day of it, you decided to just go grocery shopping now, rather than putting it off for another day. What was the worst that could happen right?

~

After a long day at work, Yamada’s favorite thing to do was just cook. Working three jobs was always stressful. From being a radio host, to being a hero, and teaching, he barely had a moment of free time. But he loved all of it so much he would never give up any of it.

“Our top story tonight…” the news anchor cut in, successfully interrupting the quiet atmosphere in the kitchen, “villains attack.”

“Not this again.” Hizashi sighed, just about ready to change the channel. The one thing he hated more than villains was the media. Villains attacked everyday. And every day, without a break, the media constantly blows it out of proportion. 

Hizashi was just about to change the channel before he saw your picture flash across the tv screen. Immediately stopping him in his tracks.

“Local UA student is believed to have gotten caught in the middle.” 

The remote that was once in his hand had crashed against the floor. His mind was in a panic. Hundreds of questions were swarming to the point where he wasn’t even sure what to ask.

Always working, meant that he never had a personal life. And with no personal life, it meant that no room for a girlfriend or a family was ever able to be made. But he had always seen you as his daughter. You struggled more than the rest of the class to keep up, but that never stopped you from giving it one hundred percent all of the time. He adored you. And the thought of you possibly being injured was enough to just about stop his heart.

He needed to know that you were all right.

~

The police questioning had taken hours. You had been asked the same questions a million times.

“What were you doing out so late?” 

“What did you witness?”

“Did you notice anyone else involved?”

And your personal favorite: “Are you okay?”

That small question had come up more times than any other. From the officers who were the first to arrive on the scene, to the paramedics who you assured that you weren’t badly injured, to even the receptionist at the police station.

By the time the interrogation process was over. you were barely able to tell them your own name. Realizing that they had gotten all that they could out of you, they finally let you return home. One of the officers being kind enough to give you a ride.

But when you opened the door to your apartment, you had really wished they had kept you longer. You would have preferred being asked a hundred more questions to what was about to follow, when you came face to face with a panicked looking Yamada.

He thought that seeing you face to face would calm himself. If he was just able to see you, then he could prove to himself that the media just blew it out of proportion as usual and everything would be okay. But one look at you proved that that wouldn’t be the case.

Barely any part of your body was left without a mark. From small scrapes and markings to bigger bruises. Even your face was littered with them. You had a small cut in your bottom lip, as well as some slight discoloration on your lower eye. Even the way you stood, told him that you were in pain, due to the stiffness in your stance.

“Umm... I’m pretty sure breaking and entering is illegal, but since you gave me an ‘A’ on the last English assignment I’ll let it slide.” You grinned, fidgeting slightly while hoping to break his attention away from your injuries.

“How’d this happen?” he whispered, more to himself than to you. 

The softness in his voice had caught you by surprise. Never had you seen your teacher so quiet and at a physical loss for words. He was always so happy-go-lucky, and you didn’t like the change in emotion, that your state brought him too.

“I was just jogging through the park when some killer squirrel came at me,” you joked in an attempt to lighten the mood a bit.

He didn’t seem to find your joke funny. All he did was frown at your attempt to make light of the situation. “How can you even joke at a time like this Y/N? You could have been seriously injured. Do you realize that?”

His scolding was making you nervous. You pretty much raised yourself, having grown up without parents. So this whole ‘father’ vibe he was giving off was something that you didn’t know how to react to. You had never been in this situation before where you made someone worry about you like this.

It made you feel sad. Seeing the worry in his eyes, and the slightly disheveled look of his hair and clothes that were usually kept so well tame. And knowing that you were the cause only added to the unease of this foreign feeling growing inside you. All you wanted to do now was leave before you embarrassed yourself even more by crying in front of the man before you.

“Hello? Y/N, answer me. Do you realize what time it is? What were you thinking going out on your own this late.”

Your hand began frantically searching for the doorknob as you maintained eye contact with him.“On no! The time, I really need to go. I’m late for… meeting… I promised to meet someone so…” Unable to even finish your half-assed excuse, you tried to open the door and leave before he was able to question you further. But he caught on to what you were doing and walked over to you, quickly placing his hand over your head, and closing the door before you could leave. Successfully caging you in, eye to eye, so you were forced to talk to him now.

You were expecting him to continue on with his lecture even angrier than he was, but he surprised you when you heard his voice crack, almost like he was also fighting back tears. “I was so worried when I saw…”  He paused for a second, taking a deep breath in, in an attempt to calm himself. “I don’t know what I would do if you had…” Once again he trailed off, not even able to finish his sentence at the thought of you dying. “Are you okay?”

“Yamada Sensei, I’m fine. It looks worse than it is.”

“That’s not what I mean, Y/N. Are you okay?” He repeated this time with a slight emphasis. The more he repeated the question, the more you felt as if you would break.

“I said I’m fine!” You responded slightly harsher than what was intended.

The weight of everything was slowly coming down on you. You were scared. You were so scared that you weren’t going to make it. And if it hadn’t been for the police coming when they did, you probably wouldn’t have. You felt sick as those thoughts passed through your head. You’d never see your friends again. You’d never see your teachers again. You’d never become a hero.

“Y/N, you’re trembling,” Yamada whispered, slowly bringing his arms down and enveloping you in a hug. Allowing you to cry into his chest as he held you.

No, you weren’t okay. But Yamada would make sure you would be.

[kitsutaes]

pluto protector

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: fluff, coming of age-ish, bffs2lovers!, astrophysicist!reader, & artist!taehyung

word count: 2.6k

rating: pg-13 i guess

warnings: none

a/n: this is inspired by rex orange county’s song pluto projector, a song i love so so much. also this fic is split up into small parts & it focuses more on tae’s and reader’s small but important moments together !! i hope you like it even though it isn’t too heavily edited. p.s. thank you teresa / @sketchguk for looking this over !! you da best !!

summary: you and taehyung have been in the same galaxy, orbiting one another for as long as you could remember. but as time passes, gravity pulls you in closer and closer, ready for the two of you to collide.

Kim Taehyung was your protector. Just at the age of nine, Kim Taehyung held your hand as the two of you ran around the playground, feet hitting the wood chips that spewed around. His disheveled chocolate brown hair bounced around as he ran, eyes bright as he turned around to look at you. He had a goofy smile plastered on his face, exuberant as any nine year old at the park with his best friend should be.

“___! Let’s go on the swirly slide!” Taehyung yells, pointing at the bright red slide ahead. The playground near your neighborhood was huge since it was already part of an already massive park. While the park had its own variety of plants and wildlife, the playground consisted of slides, swings, monkey bars, and corkscrew climbers that allowed you to climb up and slide down like you were going down a fireman’s pole; only round and round instead of sliding straight down.

“Okay, but only if we go on the monkey bars next Tae!” You respond, swinging your arm that held his hand. Your eyes matched his, bright and bubbly. Taehyung nodded as the two of you climbed the blue steps that led to the big red swirly slide.

“You first or me?” Taehyung asks, letting go of you hand to grasp the yellow metal bars on the sides of the red slide. You roll your eyes, seeing his mischievous grin, basically telling you he was he was ready to go first.

“You.”

Sticking out your tongue at him, Taehyung takes off, gravity pulling him down until his sneakers hit the ground. He turns around, motioning for you to slide down.

“C’mon ___!” Taehyung calls from below. His arms are crossed as he waits for you to come down. You nod, your own hands gripping the metal bars Taehyung previously held onto as you’re seated on the bright red plastic. Letting go, you slide down, feeling parts of your hair stick up to the underside of the slide.

Taehyung’s eyes widen as he knows what’s coming next. You’re up and off of the slide, ready to chase him and zap him with your finger charged with static.

“___! Come and get me!” Taehyung giggles running off to the opposite side of the playground to avoid getting shocked. You’re right behind him, but you trip on your own foot, falling onto the wood chips.

Instead of a smile, you’ve got a pout on your face. Eyes turning red, brimming with tears, ready to cry. Taehyung’s looking back at you with a worried expression, heels turning around as he’s running back towards you.

“Tae!” You cry as his arms are helping you up, feet standing upright once again. His hands are gripping onto yours, leading you back to where your parents were.

“It’s okay ___, I’ve got you.”

At the age of twelve, Kim Taehyung was still your protector. Although you ended up with different teachers and classes, the two of you didn’t drift apart like most friends did as they entered middle school. Most kids ended up finding new friends, groups, cliques–forgetting and leaving the friendships they made when they were just a few years younger. But, you and Taehyung weren’t like most kids. The two of you stayed together in gravity’s grasp, never leaving the solar system you shared.

Just like always, after school, Taehyung came over to do homework with you since you shared the same subjects. His green backpack would be plopped onto your carpeted floor right beside yours, colored pencils and papers almost spilling out of them.

“You had to read The Monkey’s Paw too?” You ask turning around in your seat, nose scrunching at the thought of the story Mrs. Tang read to your class today that gave you the chills. It was a story written by W.W. Jacobs that just had to be a part of your English class’s “Poetry and Short Stories” unit and you couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Taehyung was seated on your bed while you were seated at your desk. Taehyung looks up from his math homework, nodding at you. 

“Yeah, I kinda liked it.” He says, giving you a small shrug as you shudder.

“It was creepy!”

Taehyung laughs at your expression, your face showing that you were totally repulsed that he slightly enjoyed the supernatural short story that was required to be read in every 7th grade class.

“Just a little bit,” he responds as he looks down at his homework, “I bet you’re enjoying science right now though.”

Taehyung was 100% correct, you were loving science this week. This week’s unit was about space and that was something you held close to your heart. There was just something about the universe, galaxies, protostars, and planets that intrigued you to no limit. You wanted to be like Neil deGrasse Tyson and Carl Sagan, exploring the vast universe full of the unknown. Just last year it was announced that Pluto would no longer be considered a planet and just that, broke your heart to pieces; Taehyung was there to witness it. Your love for the little planet was undying, feeling as if it deserved much more appreciation just like Neptune and Jupiter. In your eyes, Pluto was something special.

“Yes, oh my gosh! We get to make a presentation of a planet of our choice, and I’m still picking Pluto. I don’t care what Mr. Peterson says.” You scoff, a determined look gracing your face as you turn back around in your seat.

In that very moment, in Taehyung’s eyes, you were something special.

Graduation had finally fallen upon you. After days of graduation practice, you were finally here; sitting in the risers, that was placed on the fifty-yard line of the football field, clothed in your graduation gown that possessed one of your school’s colors. The night had overtaken the sunny skies, leaving you and your fellow classmates and friends underneath the shining stars as well as the bright stadium lights your school used for all sorts of events.

Your parents were in the stands, most likely with Taehyung’s family, along with other parents and family members of graduating high school seniors with their phones and cameras taking pictures to capture this once in a lifetime moment.

You didn’t graduate a valedictorian or salutatorian, but at least you made it until the end. It may pain some to hear it but grades aren’t everything. Despite getting kids into higher level colleges, grades don’t and can’t define a person, you learned that the hard way. High school’s about learning about yourself and the people you surround yourself with. Are they real friends? Do they talk about you behind your back? To you, it’s about exploration, finding the people who fit you well and help you shine brighter like the stars, and hopefully avoiding space debris that just get in the way.

Taehyung’s seated a few rows above you with only a few people separating the two of you, meaning you’re still able to make faces at each other, winking and scrunching your noses while the ceremony proceeds.

He looks great, handsome even. Dark locks trimmed just for this special event, since his mom made him. His bright eyes are shining even brighter with the reflection of the stadium lights as you peer up to look at him. 

Seeing him like this, you realize how grown up he looks. Despite only being eighteen, the Kim Taehyung sitting a few seats away from you definitely does not look like the Kim Taehyung you met in 3rd grade. That Taehyung you met years ago is still somewhat the same as the Taehyung now, but just older, more mature–not mature, but more. It makes you realize how time flies, because it literally just seemed like yesterday where Taehyung first moved in a couple houses down from yours. Your neighborhood was full of elderly people, so when you found out a kid your age had just moved into town, you were ecstatic. Ecstatic to the point where you bugged your mother to take you to meet your new neighbors.

You smile to yourself as you look away, eyes reaching the stars that you were always fond of. 

This was a moment you hoped you would remember forever.

“I felt like gouging my eyes out.”

Taehyung’s eyes roll at your complaint. You just came out of your physics class with Mr. Garcia’s lecture picking at your brains during the entire hour and a half. You and Jungkook (the only person you knew in that class) walked out looking as if your souls had left your body; even though that was exactly what happened. The two of you part ways with a tired wave as he had another class to attend. 

Taehyung had been waiting for you since his class finished a few minutes before yours. He was nose deep into a book when you find him sitting on a bench just outside your building. His bright blue hair made him easy to spot anywhere. He made you dye his hair before the semester started, insisting on trying a brand new look.

Before the two of you graduated high school, you’d done college applications. You’d gotten into one of your dream colleges, opening the acceptance letter in front of Taehyung and your parents. Taehyung on the other hand, didn’t tell you what college he got into until after the graduation ceremony. It led to you punching his arm while exuding tears of happiness. Now, at the age of 21, you’re spending your time attending classes, studying for exams, while downing cups of coffee during breaks with your best friend.

“Seriously ___, your fault for wanting to be an astrophysics major.” Taehyung scoffs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head off to one of the coffee shops you and Taehyung frequent the most. Fortunately it was close, just a couple blocks away.

Smacking his arm away, you frown. “You say that every single time.”

“I’m just stating facts.” Taehyung shrugs, wrapping an arm around you again, and this time you don’t fight it.

Your own arm wraps around his waist, gripping onto a part of his coat. Taehyung, even though you didn’t want to admit it to anyone else but yourself, made you feel safe. Whenever he’d scoop you up into his arms for a hug, or just had his arm around you as you two walked down the street, it made you feel loved. Knowing that someone cares in this world full of fortunate and unfortunate events, is one of the greatest feelings in this world. 

“I wish I was still in astrology 101 or 102, learning about the stars, black holes, and the Milky Way,” You say, grinning cheekily at the man beside you. “—not the chocolate.”

“I literally wasn’t even going to say that.”

“Liar.” You snort, nudging his side with your elbow. The two of you have reached your destination, ready for caffeine that you’re desperate for. Taehyung’s arm has left your shoulder, a certain warmth departing with him, as he opens the door for you like the gentleman he’s always been.

“What do you want?” He asks as you both reach the cashier and glass display case showing an ever so wonderful variety of pastries to eat with an already amazing cup of coffee.

Peering through the glass you see some newly added goods, alongside the usual but you already have your order in mind.

“I’ll have a macchiato and some madeleines please,” You say to the woman manning the cashier with a soft smile, while taking out your wallet from the small pocket of your backpack. Taehyung’s hand stops you, handing his own credit card to the lady who grins cheekily at the two of you. She was around maybe thirty years old.

“Tae—”

“And I’ll have a hot chocolate please.” Taehyung’s lips are pursed, nodding his head as she repeats your order.

“You guys are a really cute couple by the way,” She smiles, handing Taehyung back his card along with the receipt while you’re left standing there staring at him with wide eyes as he thanks her for the compliment.

At the age of 24, you’d think you would have plenty of things figured out. You don’t.

But at this age, you’ve learned that things really aren’t constant in the world, and that everything’s prone to change. Although somehow, there’s one thing in your life that hasn’t really changed.

“Tae, where are we going?” You whine, head leaning on the car window. Taehyung had just picked you up from work, a long day of work, and all you wanted to do was go home.

You and Taehyung had been dating for awhile now, after he admitted his long time feelings for you when he took you to his studio and painted you your favorite planet in the Milky Way. His feelings for you were returned, having loved him ever since you were kids as well. Now, he spends most of his time at your apartment as if you two shared it; not like he didn’t do that before already. 

“___, you’ve asked me that 5 times already and I told you that it’s a secret.” He says, turning his head towards you for a moment before looking back on the road. You don’t see it, but he’s sporting a small smile on his face. Taehyung’s been waiting to show you this secret of his for quite some time.

Your head isn’t leaning on the window anymore as you recognize where you’re headed to. “Wait, we’re going to your studio?” The road to Taehyung’s art studio is one that isn’t too familiar but isn’t unknown as well.

After a few more minutes of driving and parallel parking (which actually doesn’t take Taehyung long to do it) you’re already standing in his studio, gazing at his works of art.

“Tae, these are incredible.”

While you’re gaping at his paintings, Taehyung’s laughing at your reaction to his creations. This is the first time in a long time you’ve visited his studio, and the first time in a long time that he’s shared his pieces with you. While you’re studying about outer space and the secrets of the universe, Taehyung’s in his studio painting his heart out whenever he wasn’t busy.

Whenever he was in the mood to paint, he’d enter this zone, totally blocking out anything and everything, letting his passion for the arts take over. Sometimes when he’d pick you up to have a cup of coffee or when he’d come over to have dinner at your apartment, he’d have paint marks all over his hands and occasionally his face. 

Like you with your science idols, Taehyung admired plenty of incredible artists who worked with various mediums like, Claude Monet, Keith Haring, and especially Vincent Van Gogh. Taehyung had this affinity for Van Gogh’s artworks that even he couldn’t fully explain why he loved them so much.

“Wait until you see this,” Taehyung says, reaching towards one of the canvases he had stacked and leaning on the side of his wall.

You’re so immersed into some of his other paintings you don’t realize he’s right beside you, ready to reveal one of his latest pieces. Taehyung loved to experiment with different mediums, always trying to find his niche. You noticed even though he painted a variety of things, he loved to paint scenery. You could feel yourself getting absorbed into his creations full of lush greens and calming sunsets, fluffy clouds, and sometimes quite the opposite.

“___,” Taehyung nudges you, poking your cheek to get your attention and it definitely works. You’re turning your head, eyes catching a painting of Pluto that looks exactly like the real deal, as if you’re seeing the planet with your own eyes.

“I love you ___. As much as you love this little planet and as many light years it would take to reach other universes out there.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

How have you been feeling lately? Have you been doing ok? Ehhh, ya know how it is.

Are you currently in quarantine? I mean, places have started to open up again and so many people are out living life like nothing and I’m just like....what. Towards the end of last month was the first time I left the house in 3 months and I haven’t left since, almost a month later. I’m definitely still quarantining. We’re still very much in the thick of this thing, it hasn’t gone anywhere and won’t for a long time. Don’t let the fact that places are opening up again fool you.

Do you wear a mask when you go to the store? I absolutely would if I ever went anywhere. And actually, masks are mandatory in California.

Does your state require people to wear masks in stores? ^^^^

Do you know anyone who’s had the coronavirus? A family friend had it a few months ago. She thankfully is fine.

What was the last sweet treat you ate? A couple spoonfuls of frosting lmao. That’s been my go-to treat lately.

Was it a nice day out today? It’s supposed to be 100F today... 

Is the weather nice where you live usually? Uh, most people would probably say that because most like warm, sunny weather. I’m not one of those people. 

What was the last thing you ordered online? A book.

Are you expecting a package right now? Aforementioned book.

Have you ever ordered anything from Wish? If so, what did you buy, and did you feel it was worth it? Nope. 

Are you a youtuber? If so, are you consistent with uploads? and how many subscribers do you have? Noooo. 

What is one thing you hate about summer? The heat!

Did you go outside today? It’s only 6:30AM, but no I won’t be going outside today.

What is the name of your youtube channel, if you have one? I have a YouTube account so I can subscribe and leave comments if I wish, but I don’t make videos.

What was the name of the last store or restaurant that overcharged you? Hmm. I don’t recall.

Is your room more often messy or clean? It’s a little disorganized at the moment. :/

Who is someone you miss? Loved ones who have passed away.

What is something you miss? I want to go to the beach and to the movies again. 

Do you feel like your emotions are often haywire? Yes.

Have you ever received a misdiagnosis from a doctor? Yes.

Have you ever been “diagnosed” with a mental illness from an online friend? who is not a doctor? If yes, isn’t that frustrating? No, I haven’t. 

Do you have any friends that you can trust and tell everything to? Like I always say, you guys honestly know the most.

What was the name of your favorite roommate you’ve had? I’ve never had a roommate. 

Do you have a favorite book that you’ve read multiple times? I’ve never reread a book, actually. I’ve talked about this before, but I just can’t do that for some reason. I can rewatch movies and TV shows, but not reread a book. I guess with the first two it doesn’t require my attention. If it’s something I’ve seen, I don’t have to pay as close attention to it. I can kind of tune in and out or have it on in the background. With a book, that requires your attention. And if I’ve already read it, I know what happens, and I guess it doesn’t hold my attention the same way? Or it’s harder to hold my attention, I guess. But then TV shows and movies, I do like rewatching because I discover things I didn’t the first time and things make sense that didn’t before, ya know? I’m sure that would happen with books, too, so I don’t knowww. It’s hard to explain, man.

What’s one book or book series that you’ve read multiple times?

What was the name of the funniest kid you’ve ever babysat? I’ve only babysat my younger brother and a couple of my cousins when they were kids. 

Do you enjoy babysitting? No.

Do you have any big regrets? Yep, plenty.

Are there things about your past that bother you? A lot of things.

What was the last thing you saw or read on social media that made you angry? There’s a lot to be angry about right now.

Do you often post about controversial topics on facebook? Nooo. I really never do. 

Do you think it’s a good idea to post about serious topics on social media? or do you think that it’s better to discuss serious topics in person? There’s a lot of benefits to doing that. Like, you’re able to reach a larger audience and spread information quicker. For some it’s easier to discuss things like that in that way instead of verbally or in person. There’s drawbacks, too. Misinformation is often easily spread. Things get misconstrued and interpreted wrong. Tone doesn’t come across the same. And some things shouldn’t be aired out for all to see and should be discussed in private. It really just depends.

What was your favorite book you had to read for school? A Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

Have you ever failed a class and had to repeat it? I had to retake a math course once while at community college.

What class in school did you hate the most? M a t h.

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Yeah, when I was a kid. I loved playing school.

What’s one childhood dream that has stuck with you, and one that has not? Hmm. Well, I definitely no longer want to be a teacher.

Would you want to re-live your childhood over again if you could? Absolutely. Take me baaaack.

Which do you like more: being an adult or being a kid? I really miss being a kid. This adult thing sucks.

At what age were you when you started to feel like you were mature enough to offer others advice? I wasn’t at all qualified to be giving advice when I was like 12, but there I was. I actually spent a lot of time on the AOL kid and teen message boards and there was a section to discuss things like mental health and struggles people were going through. I used to comment on those posts and chat with people giving out advice that I somehow had at that age. Or I guess thought I had. People came to me advice. My friends always did, too. I was the go-to friend for advice or to just lend an ear. 

Did your parents smoke or drink when you were growing up? My dad enjoys his beer, and every once in awhile something stronger, but that’s it. My mom will have a drink or two every once in a great while.

Do you enjoy bonfires? Yesss. 

Have you ever stepped on a sparkler? No.

What, do you know of, are you allergic to? Tangerines. Super random, I know.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulence? Yes.

What is your favorite version of the Bible to read, if applicable? NIV. 

Do you follow trends? or are you a trendsetter? I’m no trendsetter. I’m not much of a trend follower, either. I just like what I like and do what I want. 

Has anyone ever described you as a trendsetter? No.

Do you know anyone who used to be loving, but then turned cold? List three people you’ve known whom this has happened to. I feel like I kind of have these past few years. :X I’m not a heartless, non-loving person, but I just feel like I’ve been hardened. I’m guarded. I’m hurt. I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m so irritable and moody all the time. I’ve pushed everyone away. I’ve been distant and withdrawn and closed off. I feel I’ve been very selfish, too. I haven’t been there for others like I used to be and should be. I’m not social. So yeah, in those ways I do feel like I’ve turned cold.

What SAT subjects, if any, did you get a perfect score in? I never took the SATs. 

What were your best subjects in school? and what was your favorite subject in school? English.

Have you ever been abused by a parent or legal guardian? No.

Do you have a lot of wounds from your past? Yes.

Has anyone ever called you a jerk? I’m sure my former friends had a lot of choice words for me.

Are you a jerk? I don’t think I’m a jerk. But for the reasons I listed a few questions up I don’t feel I’ve been very nice. 

What color were your bedroom walls in high school? My walls have always been white.

Is there a girl or guy you wish you hadn’t let slip away? Yes, Ty. :/

Is there an old friend that you miss and would like to reconnect with? I miss them, but reconnecting now wouldn’t be right. I’m still not in the place to do so. I can’t give the attention and focus and energy to that right now.

Who has hurt you the most? Myself.

Have you been bullied? No. The only person who has been mean to me and put me down is myself. 

Which talent show, if any, would you most like to audition for? and have you auditioned for one? I have no talent. 

Do you know anyone who’s auditioned for American Idol? Nope.

Is there someone you think should audition that hasn’t yet? No.

What time of day do you usually feel your best? I haven’t felt my best in a very long time, but I like the time of day when I have my first cup of coffee and in the middle of the night when I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR. 

What’s one way in which you’ve changed within the last ten years? Oh, man. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way. 

Do you feel like time goes by fast, or slow? It’s weird. In the moment, day by day, it feels super slow. Some days it literally feels like the time froze or is moving extra slowly. But then before I know it, another week has gone by. Another month. Another year. Like, we’re already almost done with June and it feels like it just started. The past few months have felt that way to me. But then at the same time 2020 has felt like 84 years???

Who do you know who has died of cancer? No one, thankfully.

Has there been cancer in your family? Yes.

Have you ever stayed overnight in a hospital, and if so, what for? Yeah. I’ve had to stay months in the hospital after surgical procedures.

Have you ever been a victim of police misconduct? No.

Have you ever been so angry you wanted to sue someone? Uh, no. I’m angry with you, so I’m gonna sue! lol.

Have you ever been a victim of racism? I’ve never felt that, no. 

Have you ever deleted a friend on facebook for making racist comments? No, I haven’t had anyone on my Facebook make such comments.

What was the last thing you ate? Ramen. Surprise, surprise. 

What was the theme of your senior prom? I actually don’t remember.

Did you go to prom? I did.

Have ever been engaged or married? Nope.

Are you an aunt or uncle? No.

Do you live to glorify God and to do His will? Yes. 

Are you happy with the way you are living your life day-to-day right now? Absolutely not.

Do you feel like your life was better or worse six years ago? Wow, 2014. It was so different. I was in college and I wasn’t dealing with some of the health stuff I’m dealing with now. I’ve always struggled with depression, but I wasn’t in the low place then that I’ve been in the last few years. I actually had friends back then, too. I didn’t let myself go and neglect myself at that time. 

Have you ever made a huge, catastrophic mistake? It sure feels that way to me.

Do you feel like you are currently in a state of suffering? and that not all of your basic needs are being met? If so, how long have you been in a state of suffering? My basic needs, such as food, water, shelter, and clothing, are met. I’m very fortunate in that way. 

Do you hate social injustice? >> Nah, I love it. It’s just great. It’s the best thing ever– <<< Right?? What a dumb question.

Are you happy with the current social class you are in? Like I said, I have food and clothing and a roof over my head. I have the necessities. I also am able to have a lot of things that I don’t necessarily need, but just want and enjoy. That’s not to say that my family and I don’t have financial stressors, but we’re doing fine. 

Life isn’t fair. True or false? It’s not always what we think of as fair. It’s also subjective. What’s fair or unfair to one, isn’t to another. 

Do you hate that life is so unfair? There are definitely a lot of things that I don’t feel are fair and yeah, it sucks.

Name a few people who seem to have everything handed to them. I don’t really know anyone like that, personally.

Who do you go to when you’re upset? No one, usually.

Do you pray less or more than you did 5 years ago? Five years ago I didn’t pray at all.

Do you pray a lot? No. :/ That’s something I really want to work on.

Do you frequently have back pain? Yes, I have chronic pain.

What’s the worst side effect you’ve experienced for a medication? and what’s the worst withdrawal effect you’ve experienced from a medicine? I haven’t liked the way the anti-depressants I’ve tried made me feel. I also didn’t feel they were working, so it wasn’t worth it to me to continue taking them. Perhaps I just didn’t find the right one for me, but I’ve been afraid about trying more. I also worry about getting on and then eventually getting off them. I’ve heard about withdraw side effects like brain zaps and that doesn’t sound pleasant. I was fortunate that I hadn’t experienced that from the ones I was on. On another note, I have been on vicodin for several years for pain management and that would definitely cause ugly withdrawal symptoms. 

Have you ever used an epi pen? No.

What’s a name that you like but probably wouldn’t use for one of your kids? I don’t even plan on having kids, so.

What’s you name, and do you like it? Stephanie. Yeah, it suits me fine. 

Would you prefer to give your kids common names or unique names?

Do you feel like anybody values you in the way that you deserve? I don’t value myself, so I don’t feel I deserve to be valued.

Who have you felt the most valued by? I know my family does.

Have you ever been treated like you were inferior? Yes.

What was the name of the biggest bully in your high school? If there was one, I didn’t know. High school for me wasn’t at all like how it’s portrayed in movies. There wasn’t the snobby popular girl or clique that walked around campus and owned the school. There were popular kids, sure, but it wasn’t like that. And there also wasn’t the big bully who went around stuffing kids in trash cans or lockers or knocking their books down or something. I can’t say no one was bullied, but again it wasn’t like how it’s shown in movies and TV shows.

Do you ever sleep outside? No.

How many siblings do you have? Two.

Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child? I’m the middle kid.

How many kids do you want to have? Zero.

Do you want to get married? No.

Best date you’ve been on? Coffee shop and bookstore dates with Ty.

Dream date? Beach/boardwalk and Disneyland.

Ever kissed someone on New Year’s? Nope.

Have you ever had an experience so good you felt like you were flying? When I had too much of an edible.

Have you ever been in so much pain you prayed that you would die? Yes.

What brings you the most joy? My doggo.

What is your passion; what is it that would bring you the most joy and fulfillment in life? I don’t know. 

Have you ever laid your dreams aside because someone else wanted you to? No.

Who supports you in everything you do? My family.

Who always tries to stop you whenever you try to go after your dreams? No one. The only thing that has stopped me and got in my way is me. And my health. 

Do you believe in following your heart, in going after your dreams? Yes. If you have dreams and a passion, you absolutely should go after them. 

Do you wish other people would want you to be happy? Other people do want me to be happy. It’s my brain that doesn’t.

Do you wish you had someone who loved and supported you? I do.

[creativetomato]

Platonia

Chapter 2

toska – n. a dull ache of the soul, a sick pining, a spiritual anguish

 Weronika Anastazja Kucharska was rather pleasent company he had to admit. She seemed submissive enough, listened to him, followed his advice like a lost puppy would, and when she didn’t know something and had questions she came to him. She was depended on him. Which only played right to his hands.

Tom saw her as a little toy, a pretty doll with big eyes and silky hair, he could use and play with. But he didn’t use her and kept from playing useless mind games with her. In all of her submissiveness, in all her politeness and calmness, there was barely any honesty in her. It was as if she had no real personality of her own. Not really. As if she was afraid of showing who she was. Was it fear? ...or rather, she was hiding her true self, her true intentions which made him more wary of her than he’d like to admit. She was a mystery to him, a girl full of contradictions, a person he wasn’t able to read, an enigma. And he hated that. When he had tried out his Occlumency skills on her there had been no reaction, no thoughts he could read or memories he could see. Just blank nothingness. By lack of her reaction he guessed she hadn’t even realized he had tried to read her mind, so, it was only natural he didn’t leave her out of his sight. Because something he didn’t know or couldn’t control was something that could stand in his way of reaching greatness. With these revelations Tom started to observere her every movement, like a hawk watching its clueless prey. Because Weronika Kucharska was not a normal teenage girl. There was something wrong with her, something he couldn’t grasp and when he reached with his magic he could feel her own sizzling like hot water dropping onto ice. Her magic was chaotic and restless, constantly in movement. Usually restless magic was seen in magical children, not in taught girls that had wands and used magic. There was something hidden in her magic, something far-off, and he fully intended to find out what it was. Because someone who had no control of their magic could be dangerous. Not only to his plans but to students and teacher, to Hogwarts, as well. With these thoughts he had started to keep her near him and when he had explained the classes to her, showed her homework she could start to work on as well during the holidyas, he was disappointed to realize there was no genius behind her, just average intellect at best. Yes, in some classes she was better than others. She excelled in Anicent Runes. Her knowledge on runes and languages was marvelous, but when it came to Herbiology she was just mundane. Everything they had to write down, theory and essays, she was simply average. She really only exceeded in Ancient Runes, and to his surprise in potions. At least that was what he could tell as lessons hadn’t even started yet. Students would return in the upcoming days though, as classes would start next week again.

„How do you know so much about runes?“, he asked her one day after New Years eve, after his birthday, sitting with her in the Slytherin common room and working on school work. At that she looked up from her essay, her bright eyes looking into his dark ones. He wasn’t used to people looking into his eyes so directly. She didn’t even flinch. She truly was an enigma.

„It… It was an important subject at my old school.“, she told him and dropped her gaze quickly. Too quickly. Tom had observed how she tried to avert topics that had to do with runes and he wondered why. His fingers twitched with burning curiosity, wanting to dissect her like a toad. Because she wasn’t telling him everything and it irked him to no end not being able to read her mind. So he had to ask her: „Your old school?“

Weronika didn‘t look up this time and simply nodded: „I went to Czocha College of Wizardry. It’s a rather small school. I should have gone to Durmstrang, but they don’t take muggleborns. And the one school in Russia… I can’t speak Russian. But I can speak German and Polish, so I was send to Czocha. It’s near the border to Germany.“

Tom started to get intruiged by that school he had never really heard anything about. She must have seen, or rather felt, his disbelief, as small as it was. She could also be used having to explain where she came from, probably having explained to teachers which school she had gone to.

„It’s really small. Only around two hundred students. Most of them muggleborn because of Durmstrang… over there I learned English too, just in case…“, she finally looked up at him and he obersved her face, every twitch and every emotion that crossed her features. Now he was even more curious: „Tell me more.“ He hated not knowing something and in his mind there was nothing more powerful than knowlegde. Surprised by the demand in his voice she looked up to him before she slowly nodded: „Alright… so… there are five houses. I was in Faust, the house of knowledge and power.“ She scratched her neck in thought and put down her quill she had written with on her paper: „Every house is based on one culture and Faust is based on German culture. We learn Alchemy, Runic Magic, Arithmancy, Herbology and… erm… let me think. Ritual magic…“ She started to count the number of lessons with her fingers. She really was a forgetful person, something he had been able to observe as well: „Beastology, Magical Defence and Theory, and… Mind Magic. Sorry, can’t remember the rest. It’s been a while since I left and so many things had happened.“ An apologetic smile graced her pale features and Tom smiled as well: „It’s quite alright. Still, the things you were thaught seem different than here at Hogwarts.“ At that Weronika nodded: „That’s true. But I’m fine. I mean… Alchemy and Potions is basically the same. Runic magic always fascinated me the most. Together with…. Well, really everything that has to do with magic. I’m only not that good at theory. I am more the type of person who just… does things. And I don’t like thinking too much about them, which also, you know… depends on the situation, and sometimtes I do think too much. But, still… I’d much rather just act.“

„How… un-Slytherin.“, he chuckled at her and that was something she had not expected. Not at all. His chuckle sounded deep, and a little breathless, but he was just a teenage boy and she knew his voice would change and mature, become deeper with age. She felt a blush creeping up her neck as emberrassment rushed through her: „Oh, stop it. There is much more to being ambitious or cunning… And I’m actually a pretty good liar.“

„A good liar? Do you think all the Slytherins are liars?“, he mocked her and her blush deepend: „I- I didn’t mean… stop putting words into my mouth.“ Again he chuckled amused: „I apologize. Although, with what you’ve told me… rather wanting to act… you would fit much better into Gryffindor than into Slytherin, I think.“

„No, not really.“, she shrugged her shoulders, „Because… I don’t just act. I… plan. I decide. Or I just… I think about decisions and try to find out what outcomes they have and… yeah, I’d rather act, that’s true, but not before planning it. And I am ambitious about the things I want. Buuut…“

„…but?“

„Sometimes I have reaaaally bad impulse control.“, at that she laughed for a moment and he smiled with a nod: „I see. But I am still not convinced if you really fit into the House of snakes, Weronika.“

„Niki.“

„What?“

„Why aren’t you calling me Niki?“

„Because Weronika is your name and I like it better. I barely use nicknames.“, he simply explained and resumed working. A few seconds later he felt her gaze leaving his form and she followed him, the only thing being heard the scraping of quill on parchment as she still felt the burn in her cheeks.

-

Somehow, without realzing it, he had started to feel comfortable around her. She was just there with him, spending time together. Him reading, and her doing the same or writing or sketching something into her notebook. It looked well-used and reminded him of his own diary. He didn’t like it; didn’t like how well she fit into his life, how she had just made herself comfortable around him, sitting with him at the table, eating and him helping chosing the right food to not over extert her stomach. She was never too loud but talkative, never overbearing but ever present. Sometimes she would leave, probably exploring the castle or talking to the teachers, and going to the Hospital Wing to get checked as she still hadn’t fully recovered from her escape to the British Isles. At one point she had taken her bag and wore thick clothing and told him she would go to Hogsmade. She had Albus Dumbledores permission.

„And what do you want there?“, he had asked her and she had just shrugged: „I want to take a walk on the fresh air. I rather enjoy the snow, you know? And see what I can find in Hogsmade. See what kind of stores there are…“

„Shall I accompany you, then?“, he had asked her after that, which had not only surprised her, but him as well. Because he truly wanted to go with her, spend time with her. Because he didn’t want her to go alone into the cold. She had a reather weak constitution and he would feel much better if he knew she would have someone with her. Yes, that was the reason why he didn’t want her to go alone; because she was his responsibilty, nothing more, nothing less. It didn’t matter how only a few days had passed since she had been here, with him, a calming presence beside him, always there. He didn’t like that. Not at all. He drew his eyebrows together but she was distracted by looking and rummaging through her worn out leather bag, smiling: „No, it’s fine, really. I want to go alone, think about things and… well.“ Weronika shrugged at her own words before shouldering her bag again when she was sure she had everything she needed. With that she looked up and smiled at him, her eyes twinkling: „See ya, later, Tom.“

So, she turned around and left the Slytherin common room, leaving him standing there, not liking how this new girl still intrigued him and somehow wasn’t what she seemed. She wasn’t normal. She was like him. Yes, Tom realized, she was just like him in the way he was special. Because she was special, uniqe. He just had to find out what made her so special.

A few hours passed and when she came back Tom was sitting in one of the couches, surrounded by books, one in his lap. As soon as she came in he closed the heavy book to turn his attention to her. Her cheeks were glowing, her nose even redder from the cold winter outside. There were snow flakes already melting on her thick clothing and her hat, melting on her glasses as the snow flakes turned into little water droplets. She pulled the hat down and her messy hair was electrified and simply put a mess.

„Whew, let me tell you, it’s pretty cold outside.“, she sniffeled a little and he slowly got up from his sitting position to make his way towards her. He noticed how there were no gloves on her hands and unhappy with this new revelation he clipped his tongue. At that she looked up at him before he took both of her hands. They were ice cold. He didn’t like that. She could get sick and she still needed some time until she was fully recovered. He knew that from experience.

„When you came here you were already in bad health. You really shouldn’t have left while it was snowing this hard outside.“, he chastised her with a scowl he hadn’t realised he was wearing. He didn’t even look at her face as all his attention was on the hands he was holding and rubbing inside his own, trying to warm the cold skin.

„Tom, it’s… it’s fine, really.“, there was awe in her voice and only then did he stop. What was he doing? What was he doing? Acting like a fool, caring about her and her stupid cold hands. Yes, she was mysterious and he wanted to know everything about her, wanted to know why he wasn’t able to read her mind, but it didn’t mean he wanted to be close or intimate with her. The relationship he was building with her was just a means to an end. However, as soon as she stepped into the room he had been concerned with her wellbeing, remembering what she had looked like that first day; broken and weary, twitching at every sound and restless in a way that was too farmiliar to him. It had been over a week since then, and again, did he think about how she had carved a place beside him. No, Tom didn’t like that. Not one bit.

He dropped her hands as if he had burned his skin on her own.

Quickly he straigthened his shoulders and there was a command in his tone he usually only used with his knights: „Go, take a shower or a bath, and warm yourself up. I’ll wait for you, so we can go to dinner together.“ After his order he turned briskly around and went book to the place where his books waited for him. The silence that followed was heavy and filled with uncertainty but he didn’t care. He did not care. He shouldn’t care about other people. He should only care about himself.

Tom didn’t look up when he heard her steps leaving the room to get to her dorm room. The only reason he should keep her so close was to find out her true intentions and why she was able to shield her mind so well.

-

When Weronika had left she had still been in awe. Back in the common room she had been surprised and even weirded out and somehow out of touch with reality. She could only stare at her now warmed hands he had held so lovingly. Because Tom had cared. He had cared about her and her well being, to the extent of even being worried. He had wanted to come with her, too. She looked down at her own hands and remembered the warmth of his skin. She never would have thought he would be this warm. And she should be mad too, with how he had ordered her to get warmed up, but she had been too awestruck. He had seemed like such a cold person from the beginning, and he just seemed like this unapproachable character; or maybe she just wasn’t used to such kindness anymore. And after spending this much time with him she had realized what a genius he was, how much he knew, and God, how good he was at teaching. Usually, when someone had tried to explain something to her she had not understood, people had grown impatiend, but not Tom. He stayed calm, answered all her questions as best as he could, was patient with her and wasn’t even angry when her mind started to wander again. And when he realised how restless she became, with her leg twitching uncontrollably, he would stop with homework or with whatever lesson they were doing, because before she knew it, he knew she needed a break. No one had ever been this patient with her. Not her friends, and not her family. She wasn’t used to someone caring about her like this.

Weronika took a deep breath and closed her eyes, her hands still in front of her as she had looked at them. Slowly her hands turned into soft fists. She shouldn’t get distracted by Tom. He was charming and good looking and his voice could do things she should hate. But she didn’t hate it. Far from it. Her body reacted in ways she had no control over and if there is one thing they had in common it was the love for control. Alright, she had to admit, she wasn’t that good at it, but still, she loved knowing everything about everybody, not because she wanted to blackmail or something, but because… just because. There was no real reason, really, only the traumatic experiences of her past that made her wary of others, and knowing everything about everyone made her feel safer. More prepared. Yes, it was all about being prepared in case someone had the ill intent of wanting to hurt her. Because she had been hurt enough in her life. By family, by friends, by enemies, by her own hands. And it was no surprise that she had no healthy coping mechanism when it came to her traumatic experiences and anxiety. To cope with her emotional anguish she liked to hurt herself, and she was good at hiding it. She opened her eyes and looked again at her hands. It wasn’t that she was cutting herself. Nothing like that. It was just that sometimes when things got too much, she couldn’t stop herself from harming herself until she bled in ways that wouldn’t leave scars.

Again she took a deep breath before going to her bed. Her thoughts returned to Tom and while she started to underss to get under the shower as he had instruced she wondered if he would still act the same when the other students returned from the holidays.

When she was finished with her shower she dressed into one of the uniforms she had gotten. Stockings and the green pleated skirt went to her knees, the design high waist as was appropriate for the decade she was in. She stuffed her blouse into the skirt and put on the beige soft cardigan that warmed her enough. Then came her brown leather boots she had came to Hogwarts in. They weren’t thick and not appropriate for snow, but good enough for Hogwarts halls. When she was finished she put her hair into a messy bun. She shouldered her bag that she had filled with schoolwork and her sketchbook before she decided to return to Tom. Dinner was waiting for them.

-

There were no words exchanged as they had gotten on the way to the Great Hall. They were pretty much the only students in all of Hogwarts, as all the students had left to their families to make sure they were safe from the raging war and danger that were both Hitler and Grindelwald. Tom had no family to return to and Weronika? Weronika had lost her family. With a gulp and a heavy heart she remembered her mother, her step father and her brothers, and how it gnawed at her heart that she didn’t miss them as much as a daugther and sister should. There were no friends to miss either; except the selected few.

When they arrived at the Great Hall they sat opposite of each other like they had the days before. She was still trying to eat slowly and to not over eat as he had warned her several times. At the memory on their first dinner together she looked up at him. Since she had returned from her short shower he hadn’t said a thing. He seemed to be colder than usual, withdrawn and she felt as if she had done something wrong. Nibbling on her lower lip she ignored the food before her as she thought of anything she might have done to anger him. But no. She hadn’t done anything wrong. Had she? Then why was she getting the silent treatment? The cold shoulder? Maybe she had overstepped her boundaries? She did that sometimes. Her mother had always warned her to not step out of line, to be the perfect church going daughter, so she always tried to be good, always tried to do nothing wrong. It didn’t always work; being good and sweet.

„…Tom?“, she saw the tensing of his shoulders and suddenly she felt her anxiety build up inside her chest into a tight knot. „Tom.“, she tried to sound more sure of herself, more secure, and was glad when she did a somewhat good job, „Are you alright? You… you seem different than usual… erm, have I done something… wrong?“

When he looked up from his meal he realized she hadn’t taken one bite and he also realized that she was worried. Worried that she had done something wrong. And her worry was honest. Through her glasses he could see the worry in her blue eyes. Tom had to admit he was angry. Not at her, although she was the reason for his anger. No, he was angry at himself, because he had gotten too attached to her. Yes, attached. To another person. In a matter of days. But it didn’t matter. Soon enough his knights would return and with that his attention would be drawn to things that had nothing to do with her. Simply put they probably had spend too much time with each other as she was the first person he had over concentrated on this much. Not even his knights enjoyed the amount of attention she received.

So, he smiled a reassuring smile: „No, don’t worry. I was just… thinking. In a matter of days the other students are going to return and with that my obligations. I won’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. Also, in the next few days I’ll have to prepare myself, too, so… I hope you will be able to study on your own.“

„Oh…“, that… that was not what she had expected. Not at all. Because they had become somewhat friendly with each other, too, which was… strange for her, to say the least. Having some kind of companion was strange and she simply wasn’t used to befriending people. Never was.

At his look she quickly tried to find the words for a better answer: „Ah, yeah, it’s fine.“ She smiled nervously at him: „Really, I get it. I just thought… well, nevermind. But I do hope you won’t forget me in all your obligations.“ Her answer made him smile a disarming smile and she blushed at that. Dinner turned peaceful and so were the next few days. And true to his words Tom had less time to spare for her. Which was fine, really. He had been nice and charming and forthcoming and he was just acting like a gentleman. Which only angered her. Was she really so easily swayed? On the other hand she had been exhausted, emotionally and physically, and she had needed a few days to recover. In her weakened state her concsiousness had wanted to lean on to someone and with Tom being so forthcoming it was no wonder she had chosen him. Truth to be told she still needed time to recover, wanted even to depend on him, but time was limited, at least for now, so it was only good Tom had put some distance between them as it cleared her mind.

She was here to change things that should never be changed, nontheless she wanted to try it. It was too late to stop now and she had already lost a part of herself during the process. The things she had done to be safe in an unkown future could be called immoral, but she didn’t have the privilege to be morally good. A long time ago she had realized that being ethical was just a cage people liked to build around themselves. It condemend them to untruths and comfortabilty and only allowed change to a certain point. Morals were things people hid behind like a warm cloak during a storm and after realizing that she had put away her morals to do whatever she could to protect those she had learned to love. Slytherins were loyal to a fault and she was no exception. With shame and new determination she tried to ignore her hurt feelings because she had no time for friendships, no time nor energy for useless comardrie that would only drag her further into a pit of anguish and torture. She had to figure things out, had to get healthy and well again and before she could do anything about her life in Hogwarts she had to think about repaying her debt. Because without him she never would have made it to Hogwarts.

Tom only distracted her and she had gotten too attached too fast to him. The reason for that were not unkown to her. She was a touch starved being – ironically hating to be touched by other people – and starved when it came to love and affection. Toms patience and gentleness, how fake it may be, was something she could fall into, a warmth she had missed her whole life, a carressing hand that should have been her mothers. She sighed; and ultimatly held Toms attention again. He seemed to misunderstand her sigh as he straightened himself before leaning forward towards her.

„Look, Weronika…“, he started quietly and she looked up at him, „I… enjoyed our time together. I really did.“ Why he told her that she wasn’t sure of, but every of his words could be a lie, even if they didn’t feel like lies. She lost her trust in people a long time ago.

„But I am Prefect and I tutor a few students. Also, I am part of the Quidditch team, and there are many other things I do in my free time.“, he explained to her and she wanted to tell him that it was fine, that he didn’t have to explain himself, and somehow she couldn’t. She just stared at him, touched at his attempt to make her feel better. Had she looked that saddened by the fact he would have less time for her?

„…it’s fine.“, she said and her quiet voice sounded uncertain and a little embarrassed, „You don’t have to explain yourself to me. We… We aren’t dating or anything like that… it was just… I think going through the things I went through… I think I just started to depend on you because I… I didn’t have anyone for a long time. It’s… It’s hard to explain but… gosh… Ich fühle mich so dumm… dumm, dumm…“ She shook her head, murmuring the last words to herself and he looked at her with a expression she couldn’t quite read. So, she smiled: „Sorry. It’s just…“ And before she knew it tears started to swell in her eyes. A break down? Now? Gosh, how pathethic.

Her fork fell onto her dinner as she started to wipe her tears from under the glasses. From out of nowhere he had conjured a handkerchief and held it out to her and she took it with mumbled thanks. As she started to wipe her tears away he took one of her hands in a comforting touch, his thumb stroking the soft warm skin of the limb. More tears started to wreck her body, accompanied by silent sobs that shook her into the depths of her soul. She wanted to explain herself to him, wanted to tell him it wasn’t because of him she was acting this way, but she couldn’t find the words, only holding on to his hand as if he was her lifeline. She didn’t know how much time had passed until she was somewhat calm, his handkerchief wet with her snot and her tears. She laughed then, a humourless sound: „Sorry. I just…“Then she shrugged and he nodded as if he understood. But Weronika knew he didn’t understand. No one understood. People may have went through traumas, but everyone was different, everyone percieved things differently, and no one would ever understand the pain she was going through. She was selfish in that regard and holding on to her pain and being afraid of losing all the other things she was still able to feel. Happiness had left her to die on a bed of tragedy a long time ago and now she had cloaked herself in the blood of her tears and forged a weapon with her pain, striking everyone who would dare to stop her from her goals, the only thing giving her the power to do so being hope.

„Ya‘ know…“, she started, sounding strange because of her stuffed nose, cheeks hot and eyes burning, „I used to dance ballet.“

At that a stunned look crossed his features but he kept silent and let her talk: „I started when I was really young. Maybe… four or something? Before I even knew magic existed. My family was poor but my mother wanted me to have a good life – a life she never had. So… so she send me to tutors for ballet and piano.“ She shrugged at that and tried not to look at him. Strangely he had not let go of her hand and had not stopped carressing her warm skin with his thumb. He had beautiful long fingers and big hands, a little rough from playing Quidditch. Hands worthy of a piano player. She liked the image of it.

„But at some point… only weeks before I got my letter for Czocha… we changed shoes.“, Weronika sniffeled and knew she needed to explain this, because she couldn’t imagine him knowing about the footwear of ballet, „At first I learned dancing in… in comfortable shoes. Made out of leather and silk, and… then… when I was good enough we changed to… to pointe shoes. They… They are very uncomfortable and… well, uncomfortable isn’t right.“ She laughed at that and wiped her nose with the handkerchief he had given her, the food now untouched and ignored by both of them, ignoring any curious glances thrown their way: „They are fucking painful. After training for the first time with them I wasn’t able to walk the next day. They… They are hard on the inside at the front, so-so that dancers may stand on their tip toes, and… and… God, it just hurt so much. So… So I stopped. My mother didn’t like that, of course, but then came the letter and… and it was blessing in disguise, really. And… And I hated pain, I still do, but... when I was still just eleven years old I thought that would be it. But by now I have went through so much pain, I just…“ Her breath hitched and she had somehow lost herself in her words, forgot what she had wanted to tell him with the little part of her life she just shared with him. So, she shook her head, before she tried to find the meaning behind her words: „What… What I want to say is… is… I… after all this pain I have went through… I guess I just sucked in the attention you have given me. So, it’s alright if you don’t want to be friends or anything like that. That... That’s all I wanted you to know, I guess. That I’m just this weird foreign girl sucking in any affection like a sponge.“ Her pointed look at his hand holding her made him realize what she meant, so he nodded. But he didn’t let go.

„I see… and I am sorry you have went through so much pain.“, he told her, his voice quiet but his gaze never leaving her, his eyes burning into her soul, „And I wouldn’t mind being friends with you.“ A slow smile twitched at the corners of his mouth and before she knew it she gave him a watery smile as well. Squeezing his hand thankfully for understanding her she finally pulled back her hand.

„And now I’m not hungry anymore.“, she laughed as if to say how silly of me when in reality she only wanted to change the topic. Tom humored her although he wanted to press her for more answer. Had she been anyone else he would have already used Legilimency on her; he would have unwrapped every single one of her secrets and read her like an open book. Instead he had to rely on her words and expressions, the way she cried and smiled and moved.

Hours later, when he was lying in his bed and thinking back to their conversation he mulled over her words; over and over again, analyzing them. From what she had shared with him pain had became a part of her life at some point. There was also a desire to be accepted and loved, to be held and embraced. When he had been a small child he had held the same desire, but now he scoffed at these romantic notions. He was a powerful wizard, he only needed himself. Affection wouldn’t help him achieve his goals, but girls like Weronika were dependend on them. With her tale she had shared the way he would be able to control and manipulate her. He smiply had to become the person she would confide in the most, the person she could lean to and trust. If she truly was as touch starved as she thought it would be easy, really, to get on her good side. He could whipser sweet meaningless nothings into her ear, make her blush, hug her and coddle her like a babe. It was a small price to pay if it meant he would be able to gather all her secrets like the collector he was.

A smile grew on his lips as he slowly drifted to sleep. Yes, it would be easy to turn her into his submissive little pet.

[whats-the-story-tc]

13th of March, 2020

"The One with V's Sister"

[REALLY LONG ONE. I got her back for a day, you best believe I'm savouring every single goddamn second.]

Shenanigans below the cut:

Another day, another ponytail. :-)

I dreamt with her again the night before. We were at this school event and I introduced her to my Dad. As they shook hands, Dad was wondering where he'd heard her name, then asked me if she was the one I always kept talking about. V just chuckled and said that I am her best student, but I never tell her stuff like that. Dream-me was probably blushing profusely.

Right. So. Morning. Bandana Friend and I were at the secretary's office to ask for something and lo and behold, there's V in her usual seat turned towards the door, hands glued to her phone, hair pulled back. I got really excited. I had two whole classes to drink in the sight, and I simply couldn't wait. "Whoop, there she is!" Bandana Friend told me. "Yeah, I saw her. And her hair is up!" We got excited, then remembered we said it loud enough that she could've heard. A laugh was had.

After that encounter, I was informed that we were to write a pretty important test in V's class that I didn't even know about. I tied my hair back as well, and spent the whole of my History class rather anxiously cramming anything and everything Grammar-related. Class ended, and my classmates were pleading with me to try and convince V to postpone the test a little, because she likes me. (It's not worth much, though. They say that about every teacher.) I told them that even though she does, she wouldn't listen to me, either. "There's no getting a plan out of that woman's head," I said.

Turns out, I was once again boo boo the fool. V decided to axe the test and have us write it a week later. I could've kissed her. I actually went: "MISS!" out loud from the surprise, hands thrown up in the air. And not only did she axe the test, she told us exactly what to expect and what we need to know, when we eventually DO write it. And, even though we'd previously discussed everything she mentioned, she took the time to go through everything once again, explain every important thing one by one. And she spoke English again! Okay, it was one word, when she brought up euphony, and said how everyone says German is a violent, angry language because of its phonetics, and brought up the classic "butterfly/Schmetterling" example I'm sure most of you are familiar with.

As she was talking about stylistic value, and how it can differ depending on the context, she brought up the very word she called me the last time we shared a walk, the one I translated as 'babydoll'. I immediately started smiling. Pleasant memories. And, as she went on, now talking paradoxes, she brought up the epigram I associate with her. Odi et amo. I looked away from her with a bittersweet smile. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. But the rest of the time, I couldn't keep my eyes away when I wasn't writing. There was always something to look at. Her hair, her eyes, her smile, her coffee mug necklace, her outfit and body (*cough* low-cut T-shirt *cough*) and basically everything. Cynical Twat (who no longer sits behind me) had his eyes on me for a while, while I was looking at her like she hung the stars. I think he's onto my ass. Fuck.

We also spoke about the other class in our year, as they came up. I asked V if they were ahead of us, as she said she keeps mixing up what she discussed with us and them, and she told me we were basically even at the moment. Then came the obvious question from Blond Boy in the Back: who does she like more? V was very reluctant to answer that, not wanting to generate tension between us, and only wound up saying that we were a lot more disciplined while the other bunch act more freely, and that she likes them and they'll mature someday. She also mentioned she has class with them in really unfortunate time slots and that not even the best class would want anything to do with her or her subject in 7th/8th period. I was about to protest, but I remembered it would be best not to. It's not like she'd respond, anyway.

Towards the end of class, we practised recognising different types of symbolism in poetry. There was this one about tree branches throwing black bouquets on the ground. I wondered what it meant — exactly until the very moment V asked us what it meant. That's when I realised it referred to shadows, and said it immediately. V didn't look at me, just pointed at me as she repeated my answer. She didn't have to reach far — she was standing right next to me. It was quite the common occurence in that very class, as she kind of alternated between standing at the board and by my side. Brb, gotta go get my tinfoil hat.

I also remember the two of us (ft. Comparison Boy I think, but mostly just V and me) having a short debate about whether or not this one famous poem was picture poetry or not. We were so persistent that V ended up telling us something along the lines of "Okay, it can be viewed as such, but technically, it isn't." Ha! Success :)

At the end of class, just to get a proper conversation out of her, I trotted up to her to ask if the definitions of metonymy and synecdoche I jotted down for myself after a bit of extra research were passable. She said that she'd word them a little differently, but technically, they were passable. Cool. End of story.

...at least I thought so. But more on that later.

She gave us back our earlier tests, one Grammar I fucked up here (I only got a B for it, my perfectionist ass can't take it), and the Literature one from here. A+. Huh. And, for once in her life, V actually signed a test! (I'm not exaggerating when I say I've never seen her signature in the past, nearly 2 years.) But what was best, is that when we looked at Debate Friend's test, couldn't finish her essay and barely wrote anything, under it stood, in red V-cursive: "I know you ran out of time." You guys, she gave her maximum points for it! We were full-on gushing when we saw it. Angels walk among us, I tell you.

Later, I had a splitting headache in (foreign) English, and told Curly Friend that I probably would suffer through my upcoming last class of the day if it wasn't going to be with V. I think I told her I always go to V's classes to catch a break. Not because they're easy, but because I can relax and listen to things I love hearing about, from a woman I love listening to. He told me that V was feeling pretty poorly, too (he had double class with her after she was with us), which surprised me. Aside from one story she told us about her dad (she mentioned both her parents today which she doesn't usually do), she was rather very smiley and energised from the very start of class with us. The only time I saw her be more serious was when I spoke to her after class. There was something about her eyes I noticed, but didn't think much into it. The usual sharp-cold fox eyes (I thought it through, they're more fox-like than cat-like), piercing right through the soul upon first glance. Now I realise how tired she must have been.

7th period Literature, aka where things genuinely started getting crazy. Whew. Here we go. Just before we actually got started, my homeroom teacher showed up and called V outside for a minute. You'll later see why. Then, class proceeded as usual. V set up everything, then put on a video about romanticism era here, at home. But, as per usual, V couldn't stop herself from making notes on the board and pausing the video to add her own commentary. Most of the time, she was crouching beside her laptop, with a complete disregard to me looking at her instead of the video whenever she did that. Once the video was over, she explained some things, her back against the board. She realised she got a whole person's name wrong, and, upon noticing she smudged the writing a little, she remarked "I hope I wiped the board with my hair again," and reached for her ponytail. I was laughing to myself. What do you mean again, love? My dearest, the train wreck.

Second video, about this play based on a queen's assassination in the medieval times. V said it was a tragedy, and asked us what a tragedy was. As I was trying to lace my thoughts together, I did notice that quick look she stole at me that basically said "Come on, Specs, you're the drama expert, say something or this is gonna get really awkward." Me and this other boy did manage to answer, though. After that, it was video time. V took a seat on an empty desk at the other side of the classroom, so she wouldn't block the view. Coincidentally, I had perfect view of both the screen and her. And that's where everything started getting mad.

She noticed. As I was watching her reactions, she turned to me and looked me in the eye before turning back to the video. And after that, though I didn't dare to look at her as much, most, if not all my gazes were returned. When the title character eventually stabbed the queen, she let out this extremely ridiculous scream straight out of a cartoon (well, they WERE cartoon silhouettes after all). I look at V, she looks back at me with this smile of "yeah, I know". Thing is, even in the next 'scene' with a trial, taking place presumably days later, the queen's body was still on the ground. I couldn't help myself, and asked "And they just left the queen there?" V burst into a grin as she looked at me to say "No!". This time last year, I used to get very Done™ looks for this kind of joke, and no verbal response at all. We're getting somewhere, ladies and gentlemen and enby people.

After the video ended, I actually raised my hand this once, to point something out. V was about to start speaking, but said "Yeah?" when she saw my hand up, dropping that train of thought immediately. I talked about how ironic it was that only the queen and her brother's silhouettes were black, and the rest of them were white. As I thought, it symbolised who were meant to be the good guys and the bad guys. I also brought up chess, which V agreed to, and I could see she was glad that there's someone who actively pays attention to detail.

I said it was mad before? Whoo, boy, then it's about to get insane.

Class ends, and V is packing. I was standing there anyway, so I thought I'd help a teensy bit, putting the projector cable away for her so she only had to deal with her laptop. I got a "Many thanks" for it when she noticed. And then. Oh, then. I'm standing beside her desk, not saying a goddamn word, and she, completely unprompted, starts talking to me about the play in depth. She didn't even call my name to get my attention, because she knew I'd be listening. (Been there, done that.) She told me that she finds the plot interesting, and as an adult, she can appreciate it, but the whole thing is written in such a dry and complicated way (she frowned saying this), that she can't help but have mixed opinions about it.

These are all things she mentioned in class before and needn't have repeated, but I was kinda glad she did. I let her talk, adding my own opinion whenever I felt like it, drinking in the fact that she wanted to talk to me specifically about it. I told her that as an actress, I find the characters interesting and I'd love to do this play because the plot really does sound interesting. The look she gave me... she looked me in the eyes, not a word said. It wasn't the fox eyes, it felt more like she was focused on me. There was a depth to it, a silent intensity. I have no idea what she could've been thinking, but I think she might have tried to imagine it. "We'll continue this on Tuesday." she told me, as the bell was about to ring. Lmao, as if.

But it didn't end there, oh, no. Sorry, you have to read a little longer. When she left the classroom, I realised: "Hold on there, V, I'm not done with you yet" and immediately went after her. She walked over to Art Friend, who was writing a test outside, at a nearby table, to check up on how she's doing. Me being me, as they finished talking, and more of my friends started to gather around, I decided to check up on how V's doing. And — you guys aren't going to believe this —, for once, she didn't ignore me asking her how she was! She said that even though she wasn't a hundred percent well, she was doing fine. She didn't plan on not being at school on Tuesday, but life got in the way. (She even explained how, we goin' personal in here.) She didn't say anything when I told her to take care of herself, but I didn't really expect her to.

(From here, our topics might not be in chronological order, because I literally don't remember how it happened.)

There we were, on opposite sides of that table, facing each other directly. "Is the weather changing again, Miss? Is that why my head is splitting apart?" I asked her, thinking adults always know about the weather anyway. "Maybe. Or you're just sick and we're all going to die." she told me as she was putting stuff into her laptop bag. "Oh, great. Bright future you're predicting for me, Miss, thank you." I responded, somewhere along the lines of this. I don't remember the exact thing. "We're all going to die one day, aren't we?" "Well, yeah..." "Just think about all the times we could've died as children..." Bright and optimistic topic in the middle of a goddamn pandemic, courtesy of our very own Miss V. But me and Debate Friend chimed right in with our stories anyway. If there are two people who are ride-or-die with V's weird shit, it's us.

I remembered what happened the previous day, Comparison Boy calling me by her name. "[Art Friend], should I tell her about [Comparison Boy and co.]?" I asked my friend out loud, because I know V absolutely hates not knowing stuff. "Oh, Lord, what happened?" V asked immediately, both elbows on the table, watching curiously. See? This is why I adore teasing her. It's the reaction. "Long story short, they don't call me by my name anymore." I said, not daring to look up at her, no matter how coy I was being. Inside, I was still afraid of what she'd say to being compared to me. "Whose, then?" No going back. "Well, yours, Miss." I admitted. Immediately, I heard a "No." of disbelief, and there we were, both of us grinning at the accusations and me talking about how different we are on the inside. "[Curly Friend] found me with his theory, too." V told me, and now I was the one not believing her. I couldn't believe he told her! "What theory?" Art Friend asked. V seemed to have a hard time putting it into words so I helped out. "That she is me 10 years into the future." Yup. That's an actual theory he has. V looked a little... not withdrawn, even though she was leaning away from the table, but... awkward? But to be honest, we both were. "[Curly Friend] is nice, I like him, but if only he had this much creativity for studying..." V said, to close the topic off. Bwahaha.

At some point, my homeroom teacher came over to us when she saw us chatting, giving V's shoulder a little stroke as she walked past behind her to get next to her. I saw V crack a smile, this little, but very pleased one. Theirs is an unlikely friendship, but I stan it so much. She asked V about how Blond Boy in the Back was doing, as he was quite pale, and V said she noticed (she even asked him if he was alright) but nothing really extreme happened. After all the times he'd disrespected her, it's amazing how much V still cares about him. Then, my homeroom teacher mentioned a potential new teacher who might be coming soon (not anymore I guess lmao) and I burst into a fed-up "Again?". We all know what happened last time, after all. V grinned and muttered a half-impressed, half-unbelieving "She says 'Again?'..." to herself.

Art Friend brought up a British actor, but didn't know his name. (I couldn't guess she was talking about James McAvoy until she said His Dark Materials.) She said she was handsome, and V immediately said "I think I know who you're thinking about, and he's not that handsome." I was fully hollering. It was a shorter-lived convo bit, but V mentioned that she cries at every little thing. Now, that's an exaggeration right there, Miss. Also, I'm not entirely sure it was at this point, but sometime during the conversation, I nearly reached out and took her hand as a comforting gesture after something that was said, but stopped myself as soon as my hand moved. I couldn't do that. I had to know my place.

You know what I'm going to miss most about seeing V face-to-face? Her incredibly telling eyes, that speak for her every given minute. This whole conversation through, she was looking at us with this soft, crinkled-up-to-the-point-they're-half-closed eyes, the look a mixture of bliss and calmness... maybe even pride at a push. She looked like there genuinely wasn't anything she'd rather do in that very moment, but talk to us. She is an angel, let me tell you. I don't deserve her.

When she eventually got going, Debate Friend ran ahead (I gave her a Done™ look for a joke and she just bolted off), while V and I walked together. "Are [Curly Friend] and [Debate Friend] related by any chance?" she asked me. "Same hair, same smile, similar personality..." "Well, if we can be compared, so can they." I smiled back. Then something happened I didn't and couldn't account for. Debate Friend shot back, though I don't exactly remember how she worded it, that V and I could be related as well. And I mentally took a deep breath, fully aware of the risk I was taking, and exclaimed, grinning:

"I have an older sister! I've always wanted a sister!"

I can't possibly begin to comprehend that smile. She didn't say anything, but she closed her eyes and her lips pulled up into this really bright smile, something like this emoji: 😊, discount the blush. It went through my mind later that she did it because she was annoyed with me or thought me stupid and she was trying to mask it, then I remembered... it's V. She wouldn't do that, couldn't pretend if she tried. So that leaves us with one explanation: she was glad I said that. She actually liked me saying that and didn't mind being called my sister. I still don't believe it. It was the same smile as the one she said that "Oh, come on!" with on Wednesday, so she might even have been... flattered? Impossible.

Once she called out Debate Friend for addressing a teacher by her last name only, no honorific, she walked away and out of sight, smiling and waving goodbye to us. And that was the last time I saw her in the flesh — possibly for a very long time.

Later that day, I mentioned her and how much she helped me to my psychologist, who used to work in my school a while back. Last time I was there and I spoke about her, she didn't remember V, but now she was fully aware who I was talking about, if a bit surprised. "I never would've thought she is so... sentimental," she said. Me neither, doc. Honestly, me neither. But here we are. She was glad I found someone who helps me this much and I wholeheartedly agreed. How could I not?

It's been a little over a week since all this happened. Online school is kicking my ass, but I'll be fine. I have her. Still... I miss school a lot. I miss hugging my friends and doodling in classes and the thrill of scanning the corridors for a glimpse of a certain Miss V walking past. Here's to hoping it gets better soon. Until then, all of you take care, stay safe and stay home.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

[thesinglesjukebox]

IDINA MENZEL & AURORA - INTO THE UNKNOWN

[5.83]

[Knock, knock, knock-knock, knock] Do you want to build a sequel?

Jessica Doyle: Given Disney's current reputation for nostalgic repetition, I was pleasantly surprised to find Frozen II full of ideas -- in fact so full of ideas that almost none of them actually get developed with any coherence. (Whose voice was it again? And why is Olaf suddenly obsessed with aging? And how was a troop of Arendellian soldiers going missing without a trace for three decades not an issue? Et cetera.) "Into the Unknown" is as good a preview of the incoherence as any, as the song makes no sense narratively, psychologically (having spent all but the last six months of her life being taught decorum and self-distrust to the point of pathology, Elsa is ready to flee Arendelle because she... hears a voice?), or musically: the build-up to the chorus is repeatedly off-puttingly paced, most clearly in the "How... do I... follow... YOUUUUU" climactic line. But then again, I can say all this with authority because my older daughter, who was well finished with the first movie, is insisting on playing the soundtrack on the way to school. Maybe stuffing your sequels full of ideas and not worrying too much about the implications is more profitable than Bob Iger is willing to admit. [4]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: It's impossible to discuss "Into the Unknown" without discussing the massive success of "Let It Go." "Let it Go" was the rare type of cultural touchstone whose power was almost universal: it sold 11 million copies the year after the movie came out, won an Academy Award and Grammy, reached top five on the Billboard Hot 100, was translated into 44 different languages, and arguably paved the way for Disney to release a second movie and Broadway musical. Winter 2013-2014 when the movie came out, I remember singing this song in French during French class; in 2020, I'm putting on a musical production of Frozen with my students in China and every one of them -- inexplicably, even the ones who really don't speak English -- knows the words to the chorus. This is all to say: expectations for the second Frozen soundtrack were sky-high, and thus, "Into the Unknown" has been sold as the new "Let It Go" almost since before the movie was even released. (I'd argue that "Show Yourself" is a better thematic follow-up, but never mind me.) So does "Into the Unknown" live up to the hype? Not exactly; but to no fault of its own. The song works perfectly well as a way to advance the character development of Elsa and is gorgeously sung. Idina Menzel sells trepidation, fear, and excitement convincingly, and harmonizes with Aurora beautifully. It pays tribute to its listeners too; if "Let it Go" is a child's anthem about becoming the person you have always been despite what others think, "Into the Unknown" is the adult version of that, a song about escaping the comfortable life you've built in hopes of finding something new about the world and yourself. The song is doomed to live in the shadow of its predecessor, but is still excellent in its own right. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: "Let It Go" was, for all its power, an introspective ballad that turned on the first Frozen's theme of the liberating wonder of self-discovery. Its successor, "Into the Unknown," is tasked with maneuvering great wedges of plot into position, meaning it has to be the film's showstopper as well as taking on narrative weight that "Love is an Open Door" and "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" bore first time around. (The piano flurries that form the intro deliberately invoke the latter.) Aurora's four-note motif, the sinuous call that leads Idina Menzel's Elsa out of a resolved story and the security of her home of Arendelle, is appropriately otherworldly, but the song needs far too much to be overwhelming to allow that delicate melody the space it needs to be as entrancing as it is supposed to be. But "Into the Unknown" does eventually manage to be more than stage-setting; "Are you someone out there who's a little bit like me/Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be" is a couplet that speaks to that deep-seated sense of strangeness Elsa sees within herself and which has made her movies more than a toddler-sized-blue-dress dissemination mechanism. Something else helps: Menzel's horizon-shattering wail when she hits "unknown." The voice that defied gravity on "Defying Gravity" has the heft to move these big wedges of plot to where they need to go. [7]

Katie Gill: Whereas "Let it Go" was "Defying Gravity" reskinned, "Into the Unknown" is every musical theater "I want" song reskinned. Elsa wants to see how far she'll go, she's gotta find her corner of the sky, and for once it might be grand to have someone understand. As such, it's something we've heard before. A decent re-interpretation of something we've heard before with downright beautiful harmonies near the end, but something we've heard before nonetheless. "Into the Unknown" also fails in the job it's supposed to do: be inoffensive and singable enough that five year olds or my drunk ass can sing it through all the way without disaster happening. That last "into the unKNOOO-OOOOO-OOO-OOOOOWN" is very nice and very powerful and is comprised of notes that six-year-old girls and my exceedingly alto range cannot hit. But, like "Let it Go" before it, this is a song that Disney has carefully crafted and reverse-engineered and is putting so much pressure to be an actual hit. Of course it's going to be decent. Not as amazing as "Let it Go," which is easily a [9] on a good day and a [10] when I'm drunk, but a solid song nonetheless and one that I won't mind hearing when Idina inevitably performs it at the Oscars or when my five-year-old second cousin starts happily talking to me about Frozen at the next family reunion. [7]

Jackie Powell: Although Elsa doesn't build an ice castle at the conclusion of this power ballad, "Into The Unknown" doesn't need to be accompanied by gigantic visuals for it to be a much more complex and fascinating song than its predecessor. This track soars and it uses a potent string section, predictable but equally fun percussive cymbal crashes and Aurora's eerie dies irae gregorian chant as a counter melody. There's a certainty in "Let It Go" and that must be one of the reasons why it caught on as much as it did. But the difference in "Into the Unknown" is its obvious ambiguity in subject matter and tone. It's not sure of itself, but I don't think that detracts from its quality. That's why I don't think it's really all that comparable to "Let It Go." Its goals and motives are different. It's more mature in lyrical plot and composition. "Into the Unknown" takes leaps and breaths just as Elsa does when she's contemplating her next move. That's the beauty of the track, which composers Kristen Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez have addressed. Each line in each chorus is symbolic. In every "Into the Unknown" within the refrain, Idina Menzel takes a leap sonically. First, she travels an octave higher, which is a relatively safe interval, but then that is followed by the much more difficult intervals as the chorus ends. Menzel's voice goes up a ninth followed by an eleventh. Vocally she's out of her comfort zone, which pushes Elsa to do the same. The melody is clearly a bit choppier. It also bounces especially on the couplet of alliterations: " I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls." Its dynamics are much more defined and that's credit to Menzel, who wanted to sell the track as more than a "Let It Go" B-side. The extended queer metaphor that Elsa represents is able to flourish under "Unknown." Although it really shows itself much more later in the soundtrack. [7]

Edward Okulicz: Yeah, look, Frozen II: Heterosexuality Reclaims the Throne of Arendelle gave me plenty of feels too, but I always preferred "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" to "Let It Go," so this wasn't one of the Primary Feels Sources. The use of Aurora's four note call as a leitmotif is pretty clever melodically, but forcing this song and its narrative pivot kicking and screaming into being an "I Want" song (subclassification: "I Must," which if it doesn't already exist, it, well... should) is unbecoming. The asides ("which I don't") feel unnatural away from the cinema, and while Menzel surely blasts with those notes I don't feel moved when I replay. [6]

Brad Shoup: It's quenching when, in the second half of the second verse, Menzel dips into some jump-blues phrasing. There was no way this thing was going to stay an Arctic tone poem, so I'm grateful for moments like that. Toss out the movie and have Menzel reel in the asides, and you'd have a fantastically mysterious piece of piano-pop. [7]

Thomas Inskeep: I've never seen either of the Frozen films, but I recall how annoying I found "Let It Go," from the first film. This is better (though still, of course, a big Broadway-style ballad); I appreciate how this song will likely speak to theatre kids who feel like the weirdos in their schools -- songwriters Kristin Anderson-Lopez and Robert Lopez, obviously, have a knack for this kind of thing. Having Broadway queen Idina Menzel sing it helps, as does the clever move of having Norwegian singer Aurora sing the part of the siren. Judged for what it is, rather than as a basic pop record, this is solid. [6]

Ashley Bardhan: As a recuperating former theater kid, I hoped this strange collaboration would be everything I wanted but couldn't admit. Unfortunately, it turned out to be nothing I wanted, which I feel comfortable admitting. I'm not sure what Aurora is meant to do on this track other than supply wordless, ghostly ooo-ing, which opens you to a sense of mysterious possibility that goes absolutely nowhere. Idina Menzel is a powerhouse and typically good at convincing us that we are in her character's world, but even she sounds bored at the incongruously triumphant swelling of orchestra during the chorus. She calls out from the overblown composition, "Into the unknown! Isn't it cool that I'm hitting this E-flat in chest voice?!" Yes, it is very cool, but less so that the last 40 seconds of this song is essentially musical theatre sacrilege. A money-maker high-note chorus into a painfully loud bridge that conveys absolutely no mood other than "me and Aurora are both singing right now," only to end with a very embarrassing, ham-fisted belted note? And they had the audacity to let Idina put a slide in there? No, no. No, no, no. No. [3]

Alfred Soto: No, no, I mean -- let me go. [3]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Even more than the first installment, Frozen II was lacking in songs that were memorable in and of themselves. "Lost in the Woods," for example, is really only notable for the animation that accompanied it: a montage riffing on '80s music videos that proved unexpectedly entertaining. "Into the Unknown" is the film's best song, but the music doesn't quite match what the lyrics are trying to convey: Why is the first chorus so bombastic when Elsa's not yet convinced to follow this siren's song? At least "Let It Go" knew how to accomplish a sensible narrative arc with its use of dynamic range. "Unknown" doesn't come together as neatly as "Let It Go" either, which found a lot of meaning in the evolving delivery of "the cold never bothered me anyway." The complaints could go on but at the end of the day, I can't really hate something that finds Aurora using kulning -- Scandinavian herding calls -- as a narrative tool. [5]

Tobi Tella: I was 13 when the first Frozen came out, and despite the fact that I probably should've been too old for Disney princess movies by the unspoken middle school social construct standards, I dragged my dad to see it in theaters. That probably should've been his first inkling that I was gay, and as clear as Disney's attempts to play on my emotions were as a shy insecure gay kid, the introverted, uncomfortable princess Elsa was the most accurate representation I had really found of myself in a kids movie. "Let It Go" was not only a cultural moment but a formative one and even though looking back as an adult I know that Frozen has flaws, I can't help but be empowered by it now. This song was set up to fail by its positioning it as "Let It Go II," and the seams of this one are far more clear; the chorus is literally just one phrase repeated and the lyrics are prime "leave nothing to the imagination or subtext and explain all your feelings." But I still feel an intense connection to this; maybe it's Menzel's strong and evocative vocal performance, maybe it's nostalgia, and maybe it's the feeling that even as a 19 year old my experience with my identity is not even close to over, the fact that there will always be unknowns which are horrifying yet intriguing (hello adult gay dating!). I'm not sure if this is a great song, or even a good one, but for a sequel with impossibly huge expectations it managed to evoke the same intense reaction that "Let It Go" did, so I guess Disney and their manipulations win this round. [7]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[mayquita]

Pictures of Reality (8/16)

Happy Thanksgiving for all those who celebrate! I’d like to take advantage of this festivity to thank all the @captainswanbigbang mods for doing an amazing job organizing this event. I’d also like to express my gratitude to all those who have given this story a chance, thanks for your likes, comments, kudos and reblogs. It means the world to me.

Summary: Emma Swan returns to her birthplace, Storybrooke, in search of a fresh start after a life marked by abandonment and betrayal. After a year there, she finds the stability she needed and also the possibility of learning about one of her passions, photography. Killian Jones, a former British war reporter with a tragic past, establishes himself in the same town as an instructor of photography, following in the footsteps of his best friends, the Nolans. What will happen when their paths cross? Will their common passion for photography help them heal old wounds?

Rating: M (Language, mature themes, implied sex)

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, mentions of the loss of a limb in an armed conflict.

Other ships / Characters: Although, obviously, this is a cs fic, Snowing plays a major role here, mainly David. In fact, the story contains three different points of view, those of Emma, Killian and David. Also, Henry appears in the story as Regina’s adopted son but he is not Emma’s biological son.

Beta: I’d like to express my gratitude, as always, to my beta @jarienn972 I’m aware that you have had to deal with a monster of more than 100k words and English is not my mother tongue, so I value your effort even more.

Artist / art: Go visit @imagnifika’s blog and enjoy her amazing art. There is no specific art for this chapter, but the picset of the previous chapter also serves for this. In addition, the photo from Emma's Instagram account will be part of the fan art that Kate has created for an upcoming chapter.

Art for the prologue/ Art for chapter 1 / Art for chapter 2 and banner / Art for chapter 3/ Art for chapters 4-5  / Art for chapters 6-7

Special mention to @saraswans , thank you so much for your perpetual support, for believing in me when I doubted myself and for offering ideas to make this story grow.

Don’t forget to go read and enjoy the rest of the amazing csbb stories and art.

Word count: ~ 10800 (116k total in 16 chapters)

Also on (From the beginning): Ao3 / Ffnet (Current Chapter) Ao3 / Ffnet

Tumblr: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

What to expect from this chapter?  It will be the longest of the entire fic for a reason, or for a few, actually. Several talks, a new couple in the making, some confessions, a snowball fight, photos (lots of them) and we’ll see if Killian is able to fulfill his part of the deal by helping his friends. In compensation for its absence in the last three chapters, this chapter will be written only from Emma’s pov.

CHAPTER 7

My dearest Emma,

I don't know how to start this letter... but I'll do my best. I don't even know if your adoptive parents have kept the name your mother chose for you. The social worker assured us that they had accepted, but I guess we'll always have that uncertainty. Anyway, for us, you will always be our Emma.

Today is a special day, your first birthday. I would like to send you my best wishes for this first celebration, the first of many, if only in the form of this letter, with the hope that perhaps one day, these words will come to you in one way or another.

Maybe we can establish a new tradition in our lives from now on, what do you think? Maybe we can take advantage of this special day to contact you through these little missives, to express how we feel in your absence, to convey that no matter how much time passes, you will always have a place in our hearts, Emma.

It's only been a year, but we've probably missed many of your most important milestones: your first smile, your first steps, maybe your first words. I hope your parents were able to immortalize those moments in some way. And maybe one day, you can help us to remember them through those images.

I would like to talk to you a little about us now. Your mother has already turned eighteen and has finally been able to leave the house of that evil woman, the person who managed to separate us from you. Now, she is living with us and nothing and nobody will be able to separate us - ever - despite all the obstacles that get in our way.

It's hard, though, to be separated from you and have no certainty of how you are, if you are growing up happy. I truly hope so and that with our act, we have managed to offer you a future. And maybe, in a few years, we will be part of that future as well.

Until then, I can only wish you a happy and full life.

Your father who loves you and never forgets you,

David.

Emma Swan. Storybrooke - December 9, 2017

The moment Killian came through the door to the classroom the following Saturday Emma knew something was wrong. As in the last class, the first thing he did was to look for her until their eyes met and he offered her a smile, but this time, his smile not only did not reach his eyes but it seemed forced.

Emma turned her gaze to the window on her left, and let her eyes roam the streets of Storybrooke, while a strange sensation settled in the pit of her stomach.

The images of their two shared kisses, those that she herself initiated, jumped into her mind at that moment as a reminder, or rather as a warning. Their dangerous game had begun at the moment when she, in a defiant and impulsive movement, had pulled him into a searing kiss, with the capacity of shaking her up and down both metaphorically and literally.

She had fled after throwing the "a one-time-thing" statement while cursing herself for letting her feelings, or rather, her physical impulses, cloud her reason.

She could not risk everything she had gotten when she decided to stay in Storybrooke, she should not let anything or anyone get too close to her heart since that would pose a threat, a possibility that it would be broken again.

But that damned Killian had gotten under her skin in such a way that she could not think of anything other than the softness of his lips against hers, his wrecked expression, his intense gaze bored into hers. She did not even need him to be in her presence, just a simple text sent by him or the memory of some of his explanations in his melodious voice were enough to make her body betray her, humming with a craving for more.

It was as if Storybrooke had weakened all her principles, causing the walls around her heart to begin to crack, as she had succumbed again to the temptation of his lips. And although she tried to convince herself, assuring herself that it was no more than a simple physical attraction, deep down she was aware that she was totally seduced by Killian.

Their second kiss had also been caused by an impulse. She could not bear to see the suffering reflected in his face, so she had acted in an almost desperate attempt to alleviate that suffering or at least make him forget for a moment.

Even though they had seen each other again after the kiss and his behavior had been the usual, perhaps he had understood her reluctance in the wrong way, or perhaps, even though she had not yet revealed much of herself, he had come to the conclusion that she was not worth the effort, maybe…

“Emma?”

The sound of a voice brought her back to reality. She straightened in her seat as her head turned in the direction of the sound, meeting Elsa and Anna and their inquiring looks, with a hint of concern in Elsa's eyes and one of amusement in her sister's.

"Are you okay?" Elsa asked quietly.

"Yeah, I got distracted." She mumbled a poor excuse, feeling a bit uncomfortable at their scrutiny.

"I bet I know the cause of your distraction." Anna said, tilting her head slightly in Killian's direction, her lips curled upward in a conspiratorial smile, as if they were sharing a secret, but to Emma, it meant that her sensation of uneasiness increased.

"Anna!" Elsa muttered under her breath, scolding her sister. Then she addressed Emma back. "Don’t listen to her. We just wanted to know if you would like to join us to practice."

"To practice..." Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion as her gaze roamed around the classroom. In fact, the rest of the students had split up into teams and were beginning to manipulate their devices. Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat wondering how long she had been lost in thought.

"We’re practicing white balance." Elsa came to her rescue while giving her a soft smile.

Her sister, however, did not seem so diplomatic. "Wow, you were really distracted.” She grinned at her as she cast a sidelong glance at Killian.

Was she really that obvious? She had to find out. "What do you mean?"

Anna rolled her eyes as she deliberately ignored her sister's warning look. "Do you remember that our ice cream parlor is in front of Granny's? We were witnesses of an intimate moment between you two on Sunday."

Emma felt a flush of embarrassment burning her cheeks as she wished to merge with her seat and disappear. She recovered rapidly though. No way was she going to show any hint of vulnerability to two people she barely knew. "It was just a kiss." She muttered in a dismissive tone while shrugging her shoulders.  "And we'd better start practicing." She added in an attempt to change the subject.

Elsa nodded and grabbed her camera, but Anna did not seem to take the hint, much to her disgrace.

"Just a kiss?" She snorted, getting some heads to turn in her direction. "Are you kidding me? You two were making out." Emma opened her mouth to interrupt her, but Anna continued with her speech. "And it's not that I was stalking you, or anything like that. I was just waiting for Kristoff, but you two were giving quite the show out there." Emma's cheeks began to burn again as her desire to fade or run away increased. At least Anna was wise enough to mumble her words, but after a small pause to take a breath, she continued. "Isn’t it the coolest thing? The teacher and the student sharing a romantic moment?"

"Anna - enough! Don’t you see that you're making her feel uncomfortable?" Elsa hissed, coming to her rescue again. But Emma’s relief was short-lived. After giving one last warning glance to her sister, Elsa turned to her, her lips drawing a shy smile. "I know it's none of my business, but you two make a beautiful couple, Emma."

"Ahem, ladies, I wouldn’t like to interrupt your deep conversation, but it may be more convenient if you leave it for the end of the class. We have work to do now." This time it was Killian who came to her rescue, although his intervention did nothing to mitigate her embarrassment. In fact, it was quite the contrary, as Emma felt like a child receiving a reprimand after committing mischief.

At least his attention call got her teammates to finally leave her alone. It was almost comical to see how their contrite expressions matched as they both turned their eyes to their respective cameras. Emma cast a sidelong glance at Killian, anxious and fearful of what she might find. When their eyes met, he cocked his head slightly and arched one of his eyebrows, as if he wanted to make sure she was okay. She nodded silently, curling her lips into a small smile. To her relief, Killian returned a genuine smile, while his eyes remained locked with her own, causing a warm sensation to spread to her heart, making the previous tension and uncertainty fade away.

The rest of the class continued smoothly. Once the two sisters decided to leave behind their gossip and focus on photography, Emma found herself enjoying the practice. Both, Elsa and Anna, were pleasant company and seemed to have a genuine interest in learning. She was grateful to feel included in a group, to be part of something, contrary to what happened in the first class.

The class came to an end without Emma hardly noticing. Reluctant to leave so soon, she took her time collecting her belongings as she watched the others leave the classroom. The last ones to leave were the two sisters and Emma tensed instantly, fearing that they would try to hook her into an embarrassing conversation again. That did not happen though, since Elsa practically dragged her sister towards the exit. Before leaving, both turned and waved, while Anna pointed her head in a non-subtle gesture towards Killian. After Elsa's last gentle pull, both finally disappeared from her sight.

Killian didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave either, since he remained in his seat, his gaze focusing on some files on his desk. After taking a deep breath, Emma slung the camera bag over one shoulder and approached him.

"I'm sorry for what happened before," she commented, pointing to her seat as she looked at him from under her lashes.

When Killian looked up and met her gaze, she swallowed and licked her lips instinctively, cursing inwardly at the power he had over her. Only an intense look on his part was enough for her to get lost in his stormy blue eyes. But if he also smiled at her the way he was smiling now, she lost all ability to function properly. Bastard.

"It's okay, lass." He replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "The only reason I interrupted the conversation was because you didn’t seem especially comfortable."

“Thank you… I guess.”

They remained silent for a few seconds, while Killian got up and began to gather his belongings. Emma stood there, hesitating whether to leave or wait for him, but then she caught a shadow darkening his expression, just as at the beginning of the class.

It was then that she remembered something. Killian had told her that he would talk to his friends to clear things up. Maybe that conversation hadn’t gone well? "Are you... Are you okay? You seem a little off.” Killian's face softened instantly. "Everything is fine, love. A little tired, that's all." Killian assured her in a tone that seemed convincing, but that did not quite reassure her, not when his smile did not reach his eyes. "You managed to fix things with your friends?" Emma insisted, because that was what friends were supposed to do, right? Try to comfort each other. Although she was not sure that this was the most appropriate way to bring up the subject. She needed practice in the friendship thing, a concept still so new to her.

"Aye, we did." Killian hurried to answer, his lips twisted in an attempt at a smile as he reached behind his ear to scratch. "It was a long time ago, I was just a child, that’s why they didn’t tell me, but everything is fine now."

There was more than that. Emma could tell by the way he turned his gaze away slightly as if he felt uncomfortable in some way. But she would not push, it was not her business, after all. "I’m glad to hear that." She said simply.

She did not want to leave, but she did not have any excuse to stay either. For that reason, she started walking towards the exit door. "I better go. See you on Tuesday?"

"Wait, I'm leaving, too." Killian grabbed the backpack and started walking in her direction. "In fact, I'm hungry. Do you mind accompanying me to Granny's to get a bite?" Killian dropped the invitation in a nonchalant tone, as if it had just occurred to him, but the glint in his eyes and that damn smile of his indicated something different. So, even at the risk of continuing to fall into his clutches, she accepted. "Yeah, I'm starving."

It was the moment they arrived at the diner and Ruby received them with a smirk while she arched her eyebrows meaningfully when Emma realized that this encounter was the closest thing to a date she had had in years. This time, the photography lessons had not acted as an excuse, nor was there a need to vent. Emma ignored both Ruby and those thoughts and instead dragged Killian to one of the more distant booths.

Emma had been honest with Killian when she assured him she wanted them to know each other. But the walls around her heart had been up for so long that it was difficult for her to find a crack that would allow her to open up. And this improvised meal would allow just that, a small step on the way to open, a means to share more moments with Killian. So, she left all her worries behind and focused on Killian. It was not a complicated task, honestly, especially when both shared the same passion for photography. Inevitably, the conversation ended up leading to that topic, although she did not mind in the least, especially when that meant listening completely enthralled as Killian told her some of his experiences as a war reporter. She was aware that Killian's experiences were far from the fantasy of a movie, that he had witnessed traumatic events and had had to immortalize the terror of other people. Perhaps thanks to his expressiveness or the cadence he endowed his voice with, or perhaps thanks to the content of his experiences - a mix of adventure, risk, and action, his explanations allowed her mind to travel with him to get an idea of what it would be like to live on the edge and feel the adrenaline running continuously through her veins. It was a way to add some emotion to her monotonous life, even if it was through someone else's experience.

He was in the middle of one of his stories when something seemed to catch his attention, causing him to fall into silence suddenly while his body tensed and his gaze traveled to the entrance. She turned in the same direction, looking for what could have produced that sudden change in him. What she found left her somewhat confused. Killian's friends, the Nolans, had just entered the premises and after waving their hands in greeting, they went straight to their booth, their faces adorned with warm smiles.

"Hey, guys, what a surprise to see you here!" Mary Margaret said in an enthusiastic tone, as soon as they got to where they were sat, while her smile grew wider. "Hi!" Emma responded by offering a tentative smile, not quite sure how to act, since, although she knew the couple by sight, they had never been introduced before. There was a small, awkward moment while they remained standing there, their smiles not disappearing from their faces as they glanced at Killian, who seemed lost for a second until finally, he reacted. After clearing his throat and scratching behind his ear, he made the appropriate introductions. It was evident that the tension had not disappeared from his body, but Emma did not have time to evaluate his strange behavior since, without hardly noticing, she was surrounded by Mary Margaret’s arms in an unexpected embrace. Emma was slow to react, stiffening at first, surprised by so much effusiveness for a stranger, not yet accustomed to so much physical contact. "It's a pleasure to be able to meet you properly at last, Emma." Mary Margaret did not seem to notice her stiffness, because the hug persisted a couple of seconds more as Emma patted her back tentatively. Luckily, she did not have to repeat the same action with her husband. David simply offered her his hand while giving her a gentle smile. "It's a pleasure for me too, Emma." Killian interrupted them then, "We’re in the middle of lunch. Would you like to join us?" His voice trailed off, while he directed his gaze to her, "Do you mind if...? "Sure, it's not a problem at all." Emma assured as she moved to make room for Mary Margaret. David chose to sit next to his friend.

All of them remained silent for a few seconds, only broken by Ruby, who came over to take note of their orders. Before leaving in the direction of the kitchen, Ruby gave her another meaningful look, which she deliberately ignored. She would have time for explanations later.

"How was the class today?" Mary Margaret was the first to break the ice, her gaze traveling from Emma to Killian. After listening more carefully, Emma realized something curious. Despite being American, there was a slight hint of a British accent in Mary Margaret’s voice, acquired after so many years living in London. "Killian has told us a lot about you and your talent." David added, not giving her time to answer his wife's question. A soft blush crawled up her cheeks, while Emma tossed uncomfortably in her seat. "Killian has also told me about you both. It’s good to be able to meet you at last." She was not accustomed to receiving compliments and even less to others talking among themselves to praise her. It was such a new feeling that she did not really know how to react. "And as for my supposed talent, it's not a big deal, I just push the button and sometimes I'm lucky to capture a good image." She shrugged as she glanced at Killian.

To her surprise, Killian rolled his eyes, the corners of his lips rising slightly. "Since it seems you don’t believe in an expert's word, let's see what another expert in the field has to say." Killian teased as he grabbed her camera. “May I?” She nodded as she held her breath. Of course, David would also be an expert in photography, how could she have forgotten? He was the director of the local newspaper, for God's sake. Her stomach tightened in knots of anticipation, feeling nervous about what David might think.

"We’ve practiced the white balance today.” Killian explained to his friend as he showed him the photos she had taken a while before. David frowned professionally as he studied the photos intently, causing her nerves to increase. "They could spend hours observing or taking photographs." Mary Margaret muttered to her side as she offered her a knowing smile. "But I don’t need to see your photographs to be certain of your talent. Killian has that special ability to discover hidden potentials, so if he's sure, so am I." There was something about Mary Margaret - maybe her soft voice, or her kind expression. Whatever it was, Emma felt enveloped in a sense of reliability and security. Emma smiled back in gratitude, feeling comfortable enough to trust them. "According to Killian, now I just have to learn to use that talent." "And he's right." David confirmed, still holding a professional expression, though his eyes showed a glimpse of something deeper than Emma could not identify. "There are good pictures there and that was just a practice. If you really like photography, you should continue practicing and learning. And listen to the professionals." Despite the content, his last words did not sound like a reprimand, but rather as a joke - at least she interpreted it as so by his casual tone and the wide smile that he directed at her, leaving behind his professional attitude. Still, that did not stop her cheeks from blushing again. Fortunately, Ruby arrived at that moment bringing the dishes ordered by the Nolans. When Ruby left, everyone seemed to forget about her and her damned talent, focusing instead on food. The food acted as a catalyst though, and after a brief pause, a new conversation about Storybrooke and the few places that offered food began. With the passing of the minutes, Emma felt more and more comfortable with the Nolans, and even Killian seemed more relaxed surrounded by his friends. She did not miss the effort they put into making her feel included in the conversation. The affection and familiarity they felt for Killian and he for them was evident, but the trust between them, far from making her feel excluded, caused her curiosity about these two most important people for Killian to increase. It was as if, knowing as much as possible about the Nolans brought her even closer to Killian. Maybe that's why she made an effort to improve her social skills by being open and participative.

"So, after so many years living far away, what made you return to Storybrooke?" Suddenly, Killian started coughing repeatedly. Emma narrowed her eyes in confusion, noting how his cheeks had turned a reddish color, his eyes watering. David was gently tapping his back while Mary Margaret watched him with a worried expression.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice, as she reached for his hand instinctively. "Aye, love." Killian managed to respond in a hoarse voice between coughs, while trying to catch his breath. "I just choked because of the bloody beer." After a few seconds, Killian seemed to recover enough though the tension had returned to his shoulders, making the suspicions that something was wrong to increase. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked again, her eyes never leaving his face. "Aye, lass, just a little tired, that's all." He assured through a weak smile that once again did not reach his eyes. "You should rest, which means that the time has come to leave." Mary Margaret gestured to David for him to get up, then she turned to Emma. "It has been a real pleasure to chat with you, Emma. I hope we can repeat it soon." Her soft expression and voice seemed to indicate a genuine interest in knowing her, which had the ability to warm her heart. David also offered a gentle smile before addressing his friend. "Go home and rest, I'll call you later." Only when they disappeared through the door did Emma realize that they had not answered her question. Something told her, however, that she would have a new opportunity soon. Suddenly, the possibility of adding two more friends to her, rather short list, did not seem bad at all.

//

Storybrooke woke up the following Saturday covered by a thick white blanket. Emma chose her favorite place in her apartment, a small bench under the window that opened in the kitchen, to contemplate the first major snowfall of the season, while holding a cup of steaming coffee in her hands, wrapped in her favorite blanket. It was kind of perfect. She could sit for hours watching the inexorable fall of the snowflakes. It was almost magical, and also calming, to see how the landscape transformed into a huge white canvas. Suddenly, the need to immortalize that magical landscape took hold of her, so Emma placed the cup on the kitchen countertop and grabbed the camera. After making the adjustments that she believed were necessary, she began to shoot. The calm did not last long, though. The moment she realized the time, she jumped as she hurried to her bedroom. She had been so absorbed in the snow that she had lost track of time. If she didn’t hurry, she would be late for the photography class. The little peace that still remained completely disappeared at the moment when she went out and discovered that her bug was covered by a thick layer of snow. She huffed in annoyance while raising her eyes to the sky. But she was not willing to let anything, not even the inclemency of the weather, make her mood worse, so, after she armed herself with a little patience and resigned to being late, she began to work to unearth her vehicle.

Twenty minutes later, Emma hurried into the classroom, trying to catch her breath, while noticing how a flush spread through her body from the exercise. "I'm sorry... the snow." She muttered an excuse, not bothering to look at Killian, walking to her seat as she began to remove her beanie and other outerwear.

"It isn't necessary for you to take off your coat, lass. In fact, you don't even need to sit down. We're leaving right now."

Emma stopped short, turning around to, this time, look at Killian, unable to hide the confusion on her face. "What?"

"Given that it's indispensable for a photographer to use the resources available or to be able to work in unfavorable circumstances, I thought we could practice taking pictures of the snow." Killian explained in that particular tone of his, with the ability to enrapture anyone who was listening to him. "In addition, we're lucky that I have found a spot in the nearby park which hasn't yet been altered. The white blanket remains intact, or at least it was ten minutes ago, so we better get going, before it's too late and someone ruins our work material."

All the others hummed in agreement, as they picked up their belongings, got up and started heading towards the exit. Emma, however, remained standing awkwardly, still recovering from the race to get to class on time.

"And remember guys, we must take special care with our devices in adverse weather conditions. We don't want our cameras to suffer any damage, do we?" Killian warned his students, earning some nods in response before everyone left the classroom, only she and him remained.

"Sorry, my car was buried by the snow." Emma made a new attempt at apology the moment they were left alone, while Killian approached her, causing the butterflies in her stomach to begin fluttering.

"It's okay, Swan, I figured it." His lips twisted upwards, drawing a frank smile, to her relief. All the weirdness of the previous Saturday seemed to have vanished from his features. Everything had gone well also in Tuesday's practice, his strange previous behavior seemed therefore to be an isolated event.

"There's another thing." He added as if he had just remembered it. "I have decided to invite the students, and you too, of course, to have a drink at Granny's this evening as compensation for my absence a few weeks ago, and also in celebration, since this is the last class of the year."

Emma realized at that moment, that the Christmas break meant they would not see each other and therefore, wouldn't continue with practices for three weeks. Her heart tightened a bit at that prospect, which did nothing to improve her dislike for this particular holiday. "You mean like a pre-Christmas party or something?" She asked, unable to prevent a hint of slight disappointment from slipping into her voice.

Clearly, he had noticed her discomfort since he did not respond immediately. Instead, he cocked his head and stared at her, as if he were studying her. "Look at it this way, it will be like an extra class since we will practice social photos." Killian offered through a half smile, his eyes never leaving her own.

He was so close that she could almost touch him. In other circumstances, or with another person, she would have been immediately intimidated by the invasion of her personal space. With Killian however, she had to repress the impulse to pull him closer to her. She was no longer sure if that need to feel him that close came from the momentary intimacy they were in, from the possibility that they were to be separated for three weeks, or simply from her undeniable attraction to him. But she had learned that lesson and had decided not to act impulsively again. Now it was up to him when he would decide to make the next move.

Fortunately, Killian had brought up their lifeline, photography, so she clung to that. She rolled her eyes in an attempt to hide how she was affected by his mere proximity. "You always have photography in mind, don't you?" She continued before he could reply. "And no, don't come with the excuse of sleep, because I'm sure you also dream of cameras and photos."

The way he chuckled caused tiny wrinkles to appear in the corners of his eyes, while his dimples deepened in a way too adorable for his own good or hers, given the matter.

"Well, lass," his tongue darted out to lick his lips once the laughter subsided. "I can assure you my dreams are plagued in most occasions by other activities even more pleasurable." His silky voice, almost purring, caused a liquid heat to travel to her very core while her mind decided to act on her own, imagining the content of those possible wild dreams.

The bastard knew the effect he was having on her. His lips drew a wide smirk while he reached out his hand, his fingers barely brushing her cheek. She held her breath, her skin tingling in anticipation, her gaze lost in the blue depth of his eyes. "Have I ever told you that I find particularly endearing the way your cheeks blush?"

His touch was as light as a feather, only a faint pressure of his fingertips touching her skin, but that was enough for a chill to run through her body, while her heart threatened to come out of her chest. A furious flush crawled down her neck to her cheeks, as Killian's touch became more intense, causing her instinctively to tilt her head so that it rested on his hand.

The sound of approaching footsteps broke the moment, causing both to jump while Killian withdrew his hand from her face as if it was burning.

"Oh, sorry, guys." It was Elsa the one to blame for the interruption. The poor girl seemed a little embarrassed when she entered the classroom, not daring to look at them. "I... I haven't seen anything, I just forgot my beanie." She muttered as she grabbed the garment and made her way back to the exit. Before leaving though, Elsa looked at her and gave her a soft smile of, she supposed, approval.

The small interruption allowed her to regain some composure. "At least it's not the worst she's seen of us." Now it was her turn to be smirking at him. Two could play the same game. She stuffed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans as she closed the distance between them.

She noticed his Adam's apple bobbing, while his brows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Her ice cream parlor is right in front of Granny's and she may have witnessed our little dalliance." She shrugged as she chewed on her bottom lip in a mischievous way. His gaze immediately strayed from her eyes to her lips while his pupils dilated. "And now, maybe it would be better if we leave, in case someone else comes looking for the professor." She wrapped the last word around her tongue making it sound almost indecent.

After offering him one last tempting smile, she turned around in the direction of the door. While walking, she heard a soft groan followed by a broken "bloody hell" making her grin to widen. She was playing a dangerous game, she was aware of it, but for the first time in a long time, she wasn't afraid of the flames of the game burning her, or rather, she didn't mind being consumed by the fire that she was sure Killian Jones kept inside

//

The walk to the park took only a few minutes. When they reached the spot chosen by Killian, Emma couldn't prevent a soft gasp from sliding between her lips, pleasantly surprised to observe the landscape they had before them. A long, white blanket covered the entire surface of the park while the branches of nearby trees also appeared laden with snow. Despite the cold, there was a kind of calm around them, as if time had frozen in the course of the snowfall, drawing a picture that seemed taken from a fairy tale.

She turned her head around to check the reaction of the rest of the students. They seemed equally dazed by the sight of it, all of them gazing silently with wide eyes and slightly open mouths.

It was funny, because Emma was sure that, in other circumstances, this landscape would have gone totally unnoticed by most of them, all too engaged in their daily routine to pay much attention to what was happening around them. But now that they had begun to observe the world through a lens and through Killian's eyes, an infinite number of possibilities opened up before them, allowing them to find beauty in something as dull as a town park.

"Well, guys, I see that the landscape has really left you a little impressed, that's good." Killian addressed them in that professional yet close tone that had Emma completely mesmerized. "Inspiration is the first step to getting good photographs, but remember, we're dealing with snow. The beauty of a snowy landscape is undeniable, but it can also be an added difficulty for us, the photographers."

"Because of the light." Aurora offered tentatively.

"Very good, lass." Killian gave her his most charming smile, causing the girl's cheeks to blush slightly. It was evident that most of the students had fallen under the spell of Killian since, where before there was hardly any interest, now there was a real desire to learn. "Indeed, snow is a great reflector of light, so if we want to achieve the desired effect, we must, amongst other factors, apply the correct exposure compensation."

Killian continued explaining, walking among them to make sure everyone was able to get the correct parameters before starting to take pictures.

Leroy, though, seemed to be losing patience since, a few minutes later, he snapped, "Come on - we're talking about white snow... it can't really be that hard to get a decent picture."

Killian stopped, turning to him as he tilted his head slightly and crossed his arms over his chest. His face seemed unperturbed, but she could feel his tension in the way the muscle in his jaw twitched slightly. "Go ahead - show us." He replied with an even voice while holding his hand out as if to emphasize his words.

Leroy seemed intimidated, both by the challenge that had fallen on him and by the scrutiny he was being subjected to by the others. Emma could not deny that she was enjoying the scene, since Leroy would show himself up the moment he took a photo in automatic mode.

He grabbed his camera and, after casting a defiant look at Killian, shifted his eyes to the viewer without bothering to touch the controls. He took a couple of shots and then observed the results on the screen.

"Well?" Killian asked, a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.

Leroy kept his eyes on the screen for a few more seconds until, finally, he rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of defeat. "The snow is gray." He admitted reluctantly.

"See? This is a clear example that we should never rely on automatic mode, not when we have so many resources at our disposal. Why should not we use them?" To his credit, Killian not only did not kick the guy when he was down, but he channeled what happened to continue teaching them. Her admiration for him grew at times.

The moment Killian gave the go-ahead, they started taking pictures. Although it might be contradictory, the action of pressing the button and immortalizing the moment was always relaxing for her. It was as if she lost track of time when her eyesight remained fixed on her camera's viewfinder. Today was not going to be an exception either since, almost without her noticing, Killian began to evaluate their results.

Emma watched as he dedicated the same time to all his students, offering smiles of encouragement as he praised them well for their effort, or for the good result obtained. She also observed how Tink, the only other single girl in the group along with Elsa and herself, lingered during her interactions with Killian, while maintaining an attitude that was perhaps too close, a wide smile and a fluttering of lashes included.

A strange sensation, which she did not dare to name, settled in the pit of her stomach while she did not miss any of their movements. That pull faded though when his eyes fell on Emma, his lips drawing that special smile, just for her.

"Excellent job, lass, as usual." He commented after contemplating her photographs. He held her gaze for a few more seconds, causing the flutter in her stomach to become more intense until finally, he cleared his throat and addressed the others. "And now, guys, I know you're looking forward to it. You can go play in the snow." Indeed, it seemed that all of them had been waiting for the words because, at that moment, they started running as if they were little children who had discovered the snow for the first time.

"And don't forget to protect your cameras!" He shouted at them in warning before they got too far away.

A laugh bubbled in the back of Emma’s throat at the surreal scene, the landscape no longer intact, but full of life now. She was about to make a comment about it to Killian when both Elsa and Anna hooked each of one of her arms. Before being dragged, literally, by the two sisters, Emma offered Killian one last look and an apologetic smile, to which he replied with a smile on his own and a nod of his head.

Emma let herself be carried away by the enthusiasm of the others, participating in group photos, making selfies and even she decided to also collaborate in the construction of a snowman whom Elsa, who loved the snow, decided to name Olaf. Even Leroy had left behind his permanent state of grumpiness and Archie, usually serious and the voice of reason, let himself loose a little by joining the others in their games.

She enjoyed more than she imagined, sharing laughs, jokes and knowing glances. She felt lighter, as if she had let part of her baggage escape, while the sense of belonging that had appeared the moment she arrived at Storybrooke became more intense.

Emma was so entertained that didn't realize at first that Killian hadn't joined their improvised snow party. It was Elsa who pointed at him, "What is he doing?" she asked, gesturing towards somewhere behind Emma's back. She turned to follow the direction of her gaze and found Killian, camera in hand, leaning slightly forward while he seemed to try to focus something.

Her eyes narrowed in confusion first and then widened in surprise when Emma realized what he was trying to do. The lens he was using, a macro if she was correct, was the one that gave her the clue.

"He's trying to make a photo of a snowflake." Emma commented almost in awe, unable to hide the pride she felt. She did not need to see the picture to know that it would be perfect.

"Wow, really?" It seemed that she was not the only one affected by Killian's talent, if the hint of admiration in Elsa's voice was indicative.

The fact that he was using his left arm and his prosthesis as if it were something natural in him warmed her heart. His initial reluctance to use the prosthesis seemed completely forgotten. She was not an expert on the subject but Emma sensed that one of the first steps to recovery after a traumatic event was adaptation and acceptance, and Killian seemed to be on the right track.

Almost without realizing it, she was holding the camera and pointing it towards him, immortalizing the way he was working. That was when Killian noticed her, looking away from the viewfinder, searching her eyes.

"Will you show me the result?" Emma asked as she approached him.

"Uh... I think it's better if we wait to see it on a larger screen, and I should also edit the image..."

Emma rolled her eyes at Killian's sudden reluctance. "Let me see if I've understood correctly. You're telling me you just made a picture of a snowflake and you're not going to let me see it. Seriously?" She rushed towards him in an attempt to grab the camera, but he was faster. Before she reached him, he raised the arm that held the device, leaving it out of her reach.

"Oh, come on!" She scoffed while pursing her lips. "I need practical examples if I want to learn how to make these kinds of photos." She did not give up, moving even closer to him, only inches away.

"Uh, maybe this was all I wanted." He leaned and whispered into her ear, his breath caressing her skin and causing a chill to run down her body. "It's freezing here, Swan. I needed a source of heat."

"You don't need to use a poor excuse for that, you know." She suggested, shooting him a provocative look from under her lashes. Indeed, it was as if the temperature had risen several degrees in the last seconds. "Could you show me the picture, please?" Her voice slipped between her lips in a soft murmur, causing the blue color to almost disappear from his eyes as his tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth in an almost indecent way.

For a moment, Emma forgot where they were, but the background noise of the other students brought them back to reality. Killian cleared his throat and, without separating from her, lowered his hand. "If you ask me that way..." He grinned at her before handing her the camera. Any chance of retort died on her lips the moment her eyes fell on the picture, leaving her speechless. Emma was amazed to see the small details and the defined geometric shape that had been captured in the image. It was like contemplating a tiny gem that nature offered them. "I want to learn how to take pictures like that." She muttered under her breath, unable to look away from the screen.

"The lens does practically all the work, actually. You wanna try?" Killian offered in a soft voice.

Of course she wanted to try. But before she had time to look through the viewfinder to locate a snowflake, Killian suddenly wrapped his arms around her and turned her, standing just behind her. "What the hell?" The moment she heard the impact of a snowball against Killian's coat, she realized what was happening.

Killian turned around again, keeping her behind him. "What did I say, guys? Be careful with the cameras!" He yelled, clearly annoyed.

"Sorry, Mr. Jones, it was not my intention." Emma recognized Robin's voice in that sincere apology.

"Your aim is just awful, mate!"

"Oh, shut up, Will!" Emma stuck her head out from behind Killian to see what was happening, it seemed like they all were involved in a snowball fight. Her heart skipped a beat since that was one of the activities she longed for the most as a child when winter came. Unfortunately, there were not many children willing to play with her in those years, so she always had ended up frustrated. But that was not going to happen today, Emma thought with determination.

She left the shelter offered by Killian, standing in front of him and helping to put their respective cameras in the protective bags, placing them on a nearby bench, far enough from where the rest were playing. "Thank you for your act of gentlemanliness. Now, it’s time for a revenge. You wanna join me?"

"Actually I was protecting my camera." He admitted while scratching behind his ear. "But I am always a gentleman." He hastened to add, his lips drawing a smirk.  "Even so, I would prefer not to be included in the snowball fight. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage here." The light tone in his voice and the half smirk on his face seemed to indicate that he was joking, but Emma also detected a certain truth in his eyes.

"Please, that's the worst excuse I've ever heard." Emma rolled her eyes, while bending down quickly and grabbing a handful of snow, squeezing it lightly with one hand to give it consistency. Then, without giving him time to react, she threw the snowball hitting him in the chest. "See?" She knew that she had acted correctly when he gave her a wild look while muttering, "You just started a dangerous game, Swan." This time it was she who received the impact on one shoulder. The war had begun.

And what a war! During the following minutes, they became fully involved in the game, sometimes as allies and other times as opponents, throwing snowballs, or receiving hits, running to protect themselves or to reach their target faster. Such was the intensity that they were depositing in the game that the poor Olaf, who stood in the middle of the battlefield suffered the consequences, being knocked down when Robin fell on it in an attempt to protect himself from an impact.

She did not remember having so much fun in her life, to the point that her stomach ached from laughing so much.

Killian also seemed to have the time of his life, if the perpetual smile on his lips, the brighter than ever sparkle in his eyes, and his cheeks flushed as much by the exercise as by the cold were indicative enough. If he was already very handsome, now he was irresistible. For that reason, she tried to stay away from him, since he did not trust herself.

In the end, everyone ended up exhausted, their clothes soaked and Emma was sure that the next day all her muscles would ache and she would have marks of different impacts all over her body, but it would have been worth it, without a doubt. The adrenaline rush had allowed her to release tensions and the game had made her feel even closer to the rest of the students. In fact, after the sad fate of Olaf, they decided to rebuild it, all of them working as a team while she was the person designated to take pictures of the action.

They were engaged in the task when she heard footsteps approaching. She turned to see who had dared to go for a walk despite the cold and snow. Her eyes widened in surprise when she met the Nolans right in front of her, holding hands.

"Oh, what a surprise! What are you doing here, guys?" Mary Margaret asked politely, her lips drawing a soft smile.

"Hi! Killian thought it was a good idea to go out and take pictures of the snowy landscape. Let's say we got carried away a bit by the circumstances." She commented, her smile matching hers, as she turned her head, looking for Killian.

Her smile faltered a little when she realized that Killian's previously relaxed features had now subtly darkened and his shoulders seemed tense. Emma frowned, surprised at the change in his attitude, but calmed down at once when the corners of his lips lifted up drawing a smile while he waved at them.

Maybe it was just a figment of her imagination since she was over-analyzing all his reactions, fearing the possibility that the shoe would drop at some point. Emma shook her head slightly, burying those thoughts in some hidden corner of her brain and instead focused on Mary Margaret and David.

"I can see that. You're doing an excellent job with that snowman." David chuckled softly and, after giving her a warm smile, went to greet Killian and help them in the construction.

"So, have you gone for a walk?" Emma asked Mary Margaret, genuinely interested.

"Yeah, in fact, despite the cold, the mornings after an intense snowfall are the days when I prefer to go for a walk. It's as if everything is calm, as if time had suddenly frozen. It's overwhelming and beautiful at the same time, something I missed back in London where life moves much faster than here." The longing was evident in Mary Margaret's voice and Emma could also detect a spark of sadness in her eyes. But what surprised her most, to the point of a warm sensation spreading through her body, was the fact that the two of them had the same thought about the snowy landscapes. She felt an instant connection to that woman she barely knew.

"I was thinking the same thing when Killian brought us to this place. It's like magic, really." Emma confirmed offering a smile of understanding.

They kept a light chat for a bit while Mary Margaret watched the others work and Emma took pictures. At some point, almost without realizing it, Emma looked away from the viewfinder and instead focused on Killian and all his movements. He, on the other hand, looked at her from time to time, offering her his most captivating smile every time their eyes met, causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter hard.

Out of the corner of her eye, Emma noticed how Mary Margaret's sight traveled from her to Killian, while she kept a thoughtful expression until her eyes widened suddenly, as if she had just realized something.

"Oh my god! You like Killian! And he likes you!" Mary Margaret almost screamed with excitement, causing Emma's heart to nearly stop at that very moment.

"What?" It was the only thing she managed to say before her throat went dry and a furious blush crept from her neck to her cheeks.

"Sorry, I didn't..." Mary Margaret's voice trailed off, while she seemed clearly embarrassed. "I mean... I had never seen Killian so happy, and you have that expression on your face as if..." Mary Margaret paused again, as if trying to find the right word. Emma held her breath, not entirely sure she wanted to continue listening to her. "... as if there were no one else around."

Emma looked away immediately as her cheeks burned even more and she wanted a hole to open beneath her feet and carry her away. She felt like a teenager who had been caught with her first crush. She was really that obvious? She schooled her features so as not to betray any more of her feelings.

But there was something else in Mary Margaret's words, something that on one hand warmed her heart, but on the other, caused a pull of fear to settle in her stomach. The fact that Killian's happiness could depend on her was a great responsibility, something she was not sure she could carry properly.

"We're just getting to know each other." She muttered, not daring to look at Mary Margaret.

"That's good."

They remained silent for a few seconds while she raised the camera again, using it as an excuse to keep busy.

"So, the meetings on Tuesdays are not merely academic, are they? Are they also a way to get to know each other better?" Mary Margaret asked tentatively, not willing to leave the topic of conversation just yet. Sensing her discomfort, she added. "I'm sorry, really. It's not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, it's just that... this is what we've always wanted for him, that he can finally move on, and it seems that this time he's on his way to achieving it."

"It's okay..." Emma shrugged, as a wave of gratitude washed over her, at the way she seemed to care about Killian. Emma wondered how he had any inkling of doubt about their affection for him. "It seems that we have a lot in common and we understand each other."

When Emma looked at Mary Margaret, she found an unexpected emotion in her features and a special glow in her eyes which she could not identify, but it was as if she was looking at her with tenderness and understanding, making her feel a little overwhelmed, but at the same time also safe, offering a feeling that she could trust these people.

Emma offered her a half smile and then turned her gaze back to Killian. When their eyes met, her heart skipped a beat. She did not care if it was destiny or just coincidence, but she could not be more grateful to have crossed paths with Killian and for once, she allowed herself to dream and trust that maybe this time her heart was not going to be affected, at least not in the wrong way.

Theladyswan Sometimes, a simple snowfall can offer you much more than a white blanket covering everything. Sometimes it means flushed cheeks, bright eyes and traveling to the past, becoming a child again. Sometimes it means a snow fight or working as a team to create our new friend, Olaf. Sometimes a simple snowflake may contain more beauty than the most precious jewel. Thank you for helping me discover all this and appreciate the small details.

 //

 "I kissed him. Twice." Emma snapped, not taking the time to assess the consequences of her confession. She had arrived at Granny's early, intending to talk to Ruby. After the brief talk with Mary Margaret, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about Killian and a possible relationship with him, but all this was so new to her that she found herself in need of venting with someone and the most appropriate option was her friend.

"You did what?" Ruby asked, wide eyes.

"Who did you kiss?" Another voice asked almost in unison - Graham, arriving at the most inopportune moment.

Emma bit back a groan and suppressed the urge to bury her head in her arms. This wasn't how she had thought the conversation would unfold. Graham took the stool next to her, implying that he wasn't planning to leave anytime soon. They both stared at her, one with an amused expression and the other with a slight frown.

Since she couldn't swallow back her words, she had no choice but to give an explanation, so, after letting out a long sigh of resignation, she continued speaking.

"I kissed Killian."

"That's my girl!" Ruby's face split into a giant grin as she lifted her hand for a high five. "I want all the details."

"Wait, wait, wait ... You mean the instructor?" Graham's eyebrows knitted together as he gave her an inquisitive look.

In response, Emma shrugged and wrinkled her nose. "Oh" It was all Graham said at first. Then he brought his hands to his heart, while his features twisted in an overdramatic gesture. "You wound me, Emma. What does that guy have that I don’t?" Although it was evident that he was feigning his annoyance, Emma could detect a hint of disappointment in his voice. Fortunately, she did not have to answer since Ruby came immediately to her rescue. "Oh, come on, as if you didn't have eyes for another blonde who sells ice cream." Ruby smirked at him as she arched one of her eyebrows, causing Graham's cheeks to turn pink while his eyes cast down to the floor. This was new... "You mean Elsa? Is that why you switched coffee for frozen yogurt?" Ruby chuckled as she lifted her hand for a new high five. Emma, instead, pressed her lips together, suppressing the laughter that threatened to escape. Graham looked truly mortified, as if he wanted to vanish right then, or flee away.

A pull of affection for him washed over her. It was quite adorable to see how the responsible and impassive sheriff lost his composure revealing how much that crush affected him.

"I believe we were talking about you, not me." He grunted as he pursed his lips, adding even more cuteness to the scene.

"He's right." Ruby agreed, of course. "So, two kisses and nothing else? What from now on?"

Emma shrugged, taking a deep breath. "I don't know... It's complicated." She admitted reluctantly.

"Complicated... You like him, he likes you. I don't see any complications there." The way Ruby put it made it really simple, but something else caught her attention.

"So, do you think he likes me?" She bit her lower lip, hating the vulnerability reflected in her voice.

"Oh, come on, Emma, everyone can see it." Ruby rolled her eyes and then looked at Graham for confirmation. He nodded, his lips drawing a small smile. "You just have to see the way he looks at you, honey." Ruby's features softened, as she reached out and squeezed her arm gently. "Listen, we know that you're a reserved person, and even though you don't talk much about your past, it's obvious that you’ve got a broken heart, but also, you've told us more than once that getting to Storybrooke changed your life. Now is the time to give your heart a chance to heal, don't you think?"

A warm feeling traveled directly to her heart, while she was extremely grateful for Ruby's words. She couldn't help to wonder how she had been so lucky to finally find two true friends who cared so much about her. She blinked a couple of times holding back the tears that threatened to spill.

"Speaking of the devil..." Graham whispered, his head pointing subtly towards the door. "Go get your chance, Emma." He winked at her, his lips curled into a smile of encouragement.

Emma turned her head to look for Killian. His face lit up at the moment their eyes met, his bright smile acting like a dart straight at her heart. She was so fucked up...

Before going to meet him, Emma sent a smile of gratitude to her friends, approaching Graham and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, guys, you're the best. By the way, maybe a blonde who sells ice cream will appear around here soon." The last thing she saw before getting up and going to meet Killian was how Graham's cheeks blushed again, while Ruby smirked at both of them, clearly enjoying the scene.

//

Emma couldn't deny that Killian had had a great idea in bringing everyone together to celebrate a pre-Christmas party. She decided to ignore the mixed feelings that these festivities entailed for her and instead, let herself get carried away, enjoying the company of Killian and her friends. Even Henry was there, flitting from one group to another, his smile never disappearing from his face.

The affection she had for the boy was undeniable. Her heart tightened in her chest every time she remembered that he had been the initial reason why she had decided to stay in town. She was watching as Henry showed one of his favorite storybooks to Ariel and Tink when an unexpected whispered voice into her ear made her flinch.

"I have some terrible doubts..." She hadn't even seen Anna come when she was suddenly right by her side, an expectant gaze and a wide grin on her face.

Emma didn't even have time to reply. At the moment when Anna was certain that she had gotten her attention, she launched herself with one of her interminable speeches, so Emma let out a subtle sigh as she armed herself with patience.

"I can't decide which couple is the most adorable, apart from me and Kristoff, of course... first, my sister and Graham, with those shy expressions, and those dreamy looks, and then you and the professor, all passion and unresolved sexual tension."

Emma almost choked on her drink when she heard Anna, feeling the blush creeping up her cheeks again. "We're not a couple." She mumbled weakly, cursing inwardly for letting herself get involved in these kinds of conversation.

"Neither are Graham and Elsa, not yet. But it's only a matter of time. Believe me, since I'm quite the expert here." Anna assured as she gave her a conspiratorial look.

Anna was right in something, though. Elsa and Graham made a super cute couple and it was evident that the feeling was not one-sided. And Anna and Kristoff seemed deeply in love, so she wasn't able to decide if it was a good or bad thing that Anna had compared them to those two powerful couples.

Fortunately, Anna soon found another target, leaving her alone with her thoughts. She looked for Killian, who had spent half the time at her side and the other half taking pictures of everything and everyone.

He was in his element, no doubt, involving different people and convincing them with his charm to pose for him. From time to time, he looked for her and even on occasion he took a picture of her from a distance.

"I still can't believe it." Emma winced again, hearing another voice, this time from David, right next to her. She realized that he was looking at Killian, an expression of disbelief on his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Just a few months ago, that scene - Killian taking photos so naturally, would have been inconceivable, and yet look at him now, as if nothing had happened." David commented, his voice revealing a mixture of relief and pride towards his friend.

"He has also used the darkroom that you prepared for him." For some reason, Emma found it important to let David know. It had been his idea, after all.

David then stared at Emma tilting his head slightly, as if he were studying her. He seemed to hesitate for a moment but then nodded subtly, as if he had convinced himself. "I'd like to express my gratitude towards you, Emma, since all this progress has been thanks to you."

What was happening today? Had everyone agreed to make her feel overwhelmed by emotions? Emma swallowed the lump formed in her throat as she shook her head. "I may have contributed at the beginning, but it was all Killian's work, actually. He was the one who saw the potential in me and decided to exploit it. But I can't be happier to have helped him, even indirectly, to regain the self-confidence he so badly needed."

David directed her that questioning look again, but to her surprise, she didn't feel intimidated, but curious to know what was going through his head. "I guess from your expression and attitude that you already know at least part of his past." Emma nodded as her lips drew a half smile. "He has been through a lot." David continued, without taking his gaze from her. "And, I hope you don't get offended, but your eyes tell me that your life hasn't been easy either, so I'm so glad that you found each other."

So do I... she thought, not daring to say it out loud. After offering him one last smile of gratitude, Emma turned her gaze back to Killian. She couldn't deny it anymore, he had crawled under her skin in such a way that he had made all her walls wobble. But this time, she wasn't afraid of her walls falling apart. Quite the contrary, she couldn't wait for the last brick to fall. Although something told her that they'd still have to work on the shield that protected Killian's heart, she could wait. She wasn't going anywhere.

//

Thanks for reading. Let me know what did you all think :)

Christmas has come to Storybrooke! After witnessing some resolutions of the new year, we will advance a little in time, until we reach the end of the course. We will also discover how Killian deals with the burden of guilt and regret. Will he be able to handle it?

[wolfpawn]

When Ghosts Come For Us

Chapter 58

NOTE This is based on the movie Crimson Peak, so if any of the subject matter in that was uncomfortable for you, you will find this similar. I will *NOT* be describing incest in this, it will only be implied, same as the movie.

Also, I do not own any image or gif used in this story.

HERE is the link to Chapter 1 on Ao3

Rating - Mature

Charlotte was practically shaking with excitement as she watched the carriage making its way up the road to Foxgrove. She had been waiting for her brother excitedly for a few days, knowing that there would be no way for him to respond by post before their arrival. The room was readied for them and for the past day, Charlotte waited patiently. A rider was sent ahead from the closest town to alert them that Edward and Joanne were there and awaiting permission to come to Foxgrove. As soon as the carriage turned up the path, she ordered tea and food be readied.

When the carriage came to a halt, she had to force herself to remain where she was, knowing that rushing forward was completely against social construct. To her side, Thomas stood stoically, though the manner in which his hand was on her was almost as though to assist her to remember that she could not simply rush forward. They watched patiently as the coachman dismounted his position to the front of the carriage and walked around the side to open the door. It felt like an eternity to Charlotte before finally, the occupants of the carriage came into view.

As soon as Edward began to disembark, Blake gave an excited bark and seemed to plead with his master, who had the good sense to have him put on a lead so not to rush into the freshly prepared soil for the new plants, to say hello. When Joanne came into view, Charlotte’s smile became all the wider and she walked forward, forcing herself to remain formal. She stood in front of them, Edward giving a slight bow and Joanne giving a slight curtsey. Thomas walked forward and received similar.

“It is wonderful to see you both.” Charlotte forced her tone to be merely pleasant and calm when all she wanted was to embrace her brother and his wife.

“And us you. Thank you, Lady Sharpe, for your kind invitation.” Edward, knowing the gathered staff would be watching them carefully, acted as though it was not as personal a meeting as it truly was. “Sir Sharpe.” Thomas bowed his head slightly. “Dr Thompson, thank you for accepting our invitation. I hope the southern English coast was to your liking.” “It is colder at this time of year but not near as crowded, so we had a wonderful time.” Edward looked lovingly at his wife.

Charlotte looked at her brother and Joanne and to the quaint wedding bands they both donned on their hands. “We are most elated that you made time for us on your journey back north. Please, come in and get settled.” She encouraged the pair inside. “This is Mrs Matthews by the way.” The housekeeper stood forward on her name being mentioned. “She keeps this house in running order, her husband Mr Matthews is the butler and between them, I could not ask for a better pair to run Foxgrove. If you have any issue in your time here, do not hesitate to inform them, they are most able and facilitating.”

“I will have one of the servants bring the bags to your room.” Mrs Matthews offered. “Why don’t you get a warm cup of tea? I know Littleton’s tea leaves a lot to be desired.” “That sounds heavenly, Mrs Matthews, thank you.” Edward smiled. “I do not wish to speak ill of anyone but Joanne and I found their tea a tad…lacking.” “It is like pond water, there is no need to try and save feelings, it is horrid.” The housekeeper stated, causing everyone to give stifle their laughs. “I will have it brought out immediately.”

They all walked into the reception room where a fire burned, heating the room to a comfortable temperature whilst they sat down. “How was the coast?” Charlotte asked brightly.

“Wonderful, I...I never saw something so beautiful.” Joanne responded.

“I told Joanne that it is far more beautiful in the summer,” Edward added.

“Well, do not tell her, show her,” Charlotte smiled. “She deserves to see it.” Edward looked adoringly at his wife. “She most certainly does.”

The talk was very basic and light while they waited for their tea and such to arrive. After the last of the trays were left down, Thomas looked at the maid, “Thank you, Margaret, please inform Mr and Mrs Matthews that we do not wish to be disturbed.” “Of course, Sir Sharpe.” Margaret curtsied as she spoke and did as she was told, knowing that it was not unusual for Charlotte or Thomas to speak in private with the doctor and his now-wife. “If you require anything…” “Thank you, Margaret.” Charlotte smiled as she walked out of the room.

“I see Margaret is increasing her vocabulary,” Edward noted.

“She is liking it here,” Charlotte stated. “She is a very able young woman in every manner.” She looked at her brother. “Congratulations to you both, how are you finding married life?” “Wonderful, thank you,” Joanne answered.

Edward cleared his throat. “We’re sorry to have not waited for your return, however…” Charlotte waved her hand dismissively. “Please, to have to wait months for our return would have been madness. You were right to do as you do and I could not be happier for you both.” her smile was genuine. “I cannot believe you have achieved everything you have wished for in life, Dear Brother, I cannot express how happy that makes me for you.”

“I have some things I still wish to achieve, but overall, I can genuinely say, I could not be happier.”

“You are so capable, you will achieve anything you strive for.” Charlotte smiled.

Thomas smiled, seeing her same encouragement for her brother as she had for him. It was Charlotte’s way. She wanted to see those she loved happy and achieving.

“Where is Master Thomas, may I ask?” Joanne asked curiously.

“Thomas is usually asleep at this time. I have instructed for him to be brought to me when he is completed his afternoon ritual.”

Edward noted the displeased look on his sister’s face as well as the similar one on Thomas’. “You do not fit the role of a wealthy wife of a baronet.” “It means I am not supposed to tend to my son and I have to act as though I am incapable of basic emotions.” Edward chuckled. Charlotte always hated the propriety of upper-class society. He suspected that as long as she had enough to actually live, she would have been happier, and in his opinion, better suited to being the wife of a farmer over the wife of a wealthy businessman, or indeed, a baronet. “One would think you wish to return to Cumbria.”

“I do. There are too many people with too many ulterior motives here to enjoy the lesser cold.”

“You could always rent a house closer to Cumbria but not as north?” Joanne had heard of wealthy families doing such from time to time, even the nefarious Mr Brown did such when he entered an area.

“There are matters that must be attended to here, this winter. Even if the snows melt before it is dealt with, Thomas will have to return North alone. I cannot leave until it is all settled.”

Edward was somewhat startled by his sister’s words, but when Thomas nodded slightly in agreement, his expression both solemn and determined, he knew there was a deeper issue than his sister was willing to discuss at that present moment.

*

“Did you miss me?”

Thomas Jr beamed brightly at the woman talking to him, his arms bobbing up and down as he smiled and babbled at his aunt. She could never be acknowledged as such but as Charlotte explained to her brother, she very much wanted Joanne to be a part of Thomas Jr’s life. When he was older, she had informed them previously, she would tell her son of the familial link between him and the town doctor but only when he was old enough to understand that to say such a thing to any that was not a member of the family would have consequences for the doctor’s reputation.

“I think it is safe to say he recalls you somewhat.” Charlotte smiled.

“Or perhaps he simply is as pleasant and personable as his mother,” Joanne smiled. “Or is simply glad of a new face.” She looked around as she spoke, noting the stoic and expressionless face of the woman that was his nursery maid in the corner, giving her a withering look.

“I think that the situation for us all here,” Charlotte gave a warning glance at the employee who seemed to look at the far wall for a moment before stating she would check the nursey was being cleaned and left the room. “How is married life treating you?” “It is odd. For the first time in my life, I am not sharing a room with my sister but my husband. I….even saying such a title…” Though she sounded uneasy, there was no way for Joanne to hide the smile on her face. “It is wonderful.” “Good, I am so happy for you both. Thomas can tell you, I was like one that had taken leave of my senses as I rushed through the house to inform him of your impending marriage.” Joanne smiled as she thought of Charlotte’s insisting that her brother explain the odd relationship between himself and the wealthiest woman in the county, imaging her rushing through the large house they were now in to find her husband excitedly to tell him her brother’s news. “What news in Cumbria?”

“Very little. Mrs Phillips came to Edward’s a lot after your leaving, as you can imagine, you know how she and Mrs Davies are.” Charlotte nodded slightly. “Young Mr Grant, do you recall him?” “The undertaker’s son if I am not mistaken?” “You are not,” Joanne’s tone went cold. “I thought him a good man, I...He has besmirched my sister.” There was shame in Joanne’s face.

“Is she alright?” Charlotte asked worriedly.

“Perfectly so, she was all too happy for it. I knew she was smitten with him when he was interested in me but…” “You cannot control the actions of others.” “It made me so angry when I received mother’s letter. I get married, I do what is required before marriage and I am no sooner out of town with my husband and my sister acts in such a manner. It angers me so.” Charlotte nodded and simply listened to Joanne, suspecting she simply wished to vent. “Is she with child?” “Heaven’s alone only knows. I hope not, she is too silly for such a thing, she has not grown enough to tend to another’s needs, much less a husbands and a child's.” Charlotte nodded silently. “I’m sorry, the last thing you need is to listen to me discuss my wayward sister like some common…”

Charlotte patted Joanne’s hand. “Whatever your concern in this world, Joanne, you can speak to me.” “I am sure there are a few things you do not think that regarding.” Charlotte frowned for a moment before she noted the slightly embarrassed but also sly look in Joanne’s eyes, causing her to laugh, which in turn caused Joanne to laugh. “I concede, there are indeed some aspects of your life that perhaps we cannot discuss your woes of,” Charlotte acknowledged. “But I am a pen and paper away at all times, Joanne, please never hesitate to write me should you find yourself fretting anything.”

“Thank you, all things considering, I feel I can indeed speak to you on different matters.” Joanne smiled. “Actually, considering the topic of conversation, where is my husband?”

“And indeed mine?” Charlotte pondered. She had thought Edward would join them soon, if not both men, instead, they were joined by neither. She very much doubted that Thomas and Edward were in each other’s company as she knew they disliked each other at best and merely tolerated one another for her sake.

* “What do you think?” Thomas asked, showing it to Edward.

Edward, for his part, observed the object in his hand studiously. “You put a lot of effort into this.”

Thomas scoffed. “How could I not? Will it work, do you think?”

“According to the gentleman I spoke to, there is a possibility. It will be a first but being honest, none thought a machine could singlehandedly excavate an underground mine yet you have engineered one to do so. All discoveries are the result of someone’s engineering a single situation that allows it to occur. What does Charlotte think?” “I have not told her yet.” “Edward looked at him suspiciously. “Whyever not?” “I did not wish to until I was sure I could even begin to engineer it.” “And now?” “Now I fear to tell her also, for fear it fails.”

“What was it the inventor Thomas Edison stated, ‘I have not failed. I've just found ways that won't work.’?”

“I have found ten thousand ways that don’t work,” Thomas corrected.

“If this fails, then it fails, but you are trying, she respects that. She never ceases to commend your ingenuity and mind.” Thomas looked at him curiously. “My greatest error was asking her in politeness what you were doing whilst you were here only to get more information on your plans to revolutionise your machines than on her and my nephew. I think it came to just shy of three pages about some turning….thing to do with mechanisation. I have no idea what she was referencing, I have no idea what it is and I have no idea ho she knows what in Heaven’s name it was but she was adamant it would revolutionise some part of a machine you have. Not even the full machine, no a part. I do not know if you realise just how much my sister loves and respects you and your work.”

Thomas could not contain his smile at the reference to his work by his wife and of her clear interest in his work and in him as a husband.

Tags: @sigridlaufeyson @ilovekingt @perpetual-fangirl @lokiloveheart @whovianwookie86-captainxev @wolfsmom1 @texmexdarling @lokilover9

[httpsecstatxc]

I've always been a fast learner...

when I was a kid, I was above my reading level. I was in advanced programs, the district spelling bee (I came in 4th) Sometimes I would be able to understand or remember things better than the other kids, and be asked to help them on it (like practicing writing with song lyrics once, and none of them could remember the lyrics).

All of my childhood, I was praised on how mature I was for my age. I heard that word so many times. The more I heard it, the more pressured I felt to be the best.

When middle school came and I didn't have the attention span to focus, it became harder for me to grasp some of those concepts. I was still talented at reading and writing, and because I live in a southern area where nobody speaks grammatically correct, I was always the one to stand out in that area.

If I would raise my hand to answer a question, and got it wrong, other kids would laugh at me. I felt stupid, I felt like a failure. The only thing I was good for was writing and I hardly had the motivation to do that.

Eventually I lost the motivation to do anything. I would lay in bed all day asleep, stay up all night. I stopped trying in my classes and didn't care whether I passed or failed. I picked up self-harm, smoking, sex addiction, all while still in 8th grade.

But, that same year, I met some people who taught me how to have fun. Exploring nearby abandoned places, going to haunted houses and movie theaters and concerts, having fun in school and enjoying what I was doing. I got so caught up in this fun that I made some mistakes, and my grades weren't ever brought up.

I heard so much how I was so smart and mature for my age, if I applied myself. I heard so many backhanded compliments. I got bullied for being stupid.

The summer before I started high school I decided it was time to change. I wanted to go in a new person. I left therapy to go down my own path, began listening to happier music and wearing brighter colors. When school started, it was incredible.

The shy, closeted smart kid I used to be was wiped away. Chorus took away my stage fright and made me more social. Once I began to focus and care in my classes, my easy understanding of science and ability to call out the answers gained me a reputation as one of the smartest kids. Although I struggled some, I excelled in math and was able to call out the answers there too. Both of these classes to a point where the teachers would expect me to answer. They would ask me the question. I actually put in work in gym class, and enjoyed the experience, despite how painful it was at times. In chorus I won an award for most improved vocalist at the end of the year. My English teacher enjoyed my writing so much that she used it as an example for her class, and wrote a reccomendation for me to take Honors English 2 and Journalism. My science teacher wrote me a reccomendation for Honors Biology, which I wasn't supposed to take until my junior year. History wasn't my greatest subject, but I understood it more or less. I aced my exams and made wonderful grades. At the end of the year, I even met a boy I was happy with and am still happy with to this day.

Then sophomore year came.

HN English 2, chorus, journalism, and civics. All subjects I was wonderful in and made consistent As and Bs end-- though, the longer I took it, the more stressed I became. When second semester of sophomore year started, everything went downhill.

I took HN Bio (a junior class), Chorus, Math 2, and a college course for Technical Drafting/CAD.

I realized I probably hadnt been prepared to take a junior class my sophomore year, because although I had decent understanding, my understanding was not perfect and it took down my self esteem. I lost motivation for chorus. I was convinced I couldn't sing or act and never would be able to, because I just wasn't good enough. I didn't want to take chorus anymore, but I would be sad about missing out on all the fun. Math 2 was great, and I probably should have taken honors because my understanding was higher than others to a point where the teacher asked me how to help get the class to understand, and would give me my work early. Because of taking a college course, I felt pressured to take the program at the actual college itself, but in doing that I wouldn't have space to take all of my required high school classes and chorus AND the college program. I wracked my brain for weeks trying to figure out how I would do it.

I became more stressed, less focused, more confused. The less of a plan I had, the more I felt like I was failing.

It is still second semester of sophomore year, and I still don't know what I'm going to do, but class registry is coming up soon.

The moral of the story is...

Don't praise your children for being mature or smart for their age, because they will always feel pressured to be on top. And the moment they start struggling, they'll give themselves hell about it and let it drag them down into an endless pit.

Don't let your children and students think that they have to be ahead of where they're supposed to be, to be worth something.

I wish I had gotten to experience more of my childhood. I hear every day how I'm privileged, and maybe that's true but I wish I wasn't. I wish I could just be a sophomore without worrying about also being a college student and checking my GPA every 5 minutes. I wish I could talk about how stressful these things are without being called arrogant or accused of bragging.

I'm not saying you should encourage your children to be "dumb" but you should encourage them to have a childhood.

[pumpkinsite]

When I first posted to this school, her class was the first class I taught for the year. I was her class and Science teacher that time. Even though she is the youngest in her family, but her thinking is much more matured than you think. She was the class monitor and I still remembered how she assisted me in and outside class as well. I still remembered how she came up personally to me and told me that one of the buttons at my blouse had opened up. I still remembered her special gift for me during the Teacher's day. Guess what she gave me? A type of fabric for clothes, and I tailored it into a kebaya. Still wearing it now until today. I still remembered the time we went for the badminton match at Indoor Stadium. She was one of the competitors and also the president for our school badminton club. I still remembered how we celebrated Raya together with the other class members, driving around using my uncle's car. I still remembered how I kept asking her to use English with me after I took over her class as English teacher in form 4 and form 5. I still remembered how we chatted over her choices for subjects for her Form 6 and matriculation (thereafter), seeing her having doubts and dilemma on that matter. And guess what, she is now an UiTM student pursuing her dream as a Mathematic teacher in future. And I still remembered her saying that I drove quite fast on the road when she saw me somewhere. Hahha She is really a good former student to me and she stays humble all the time. Whenever it's sports days (or her holidays time), she would come over for a visit and greeted the teachers. Thanks for the memories, Zaimah. Take good care of yourself whenever you go. ❤️

[alvaroalarcon]

hello there sunshines   !  it’s me again, dallas … i’m also playing this dumb ass, who goes by the name of alvaro alarcón, and i’d love for any plots with him too. also still like to be friends   !    if you’d like to plot, feel free to like this post and i’ll gladly hit you up, or just message me heh. i’m working on updating the wanted connections page so i’ll add that later. feel free to take a look at wyatt’s for reference though.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

alvaro alarcón was born and raised in valencia, spain. growing up between beaches and palm trees, the everlasting warmth of the sun, the sand between his toes and afternoons spent in jardin del turia. valencia still remains to be his dream image and the place he enjoys calling home most, even when the united states became a second home to him with ease. he still lives in valencia, albeit having moved out of the family home, and is in moon valley temporarily for the summer. he’s a phd student in astrophysics and has a bachelor in astronomy   —   funded by the university and various interested corporations, alvaro’s working on a research project that involves investigating the supposed crash site, but also doing more astrophysical and astrobiological research. he’s staying in moon valley already for two months and is planning to stay for at least the rest of the year, however it depends on how long his research requires him to collect data in moon valley

his research at the moon valley crash site doesn’t, however, stay within boundaries. of course most of the crash site is off limits, even to a student who has explicit permission to do research there. it does mean, though, that everything’s a whole lot closer than it would be otherwise. pushing the boundaries of his research, he is starting to dig up old knowledge and dig deeper into studies such as biology, chemistry, astrobiology and even cryptozoology. the possibility of extraterrestrial life forms, it’s something that piques his interest. and he cannot let go of that curiosity.

the alarcón family is notorious however, mostly for their size. alvaro grew up a family man, and perhaps that is due to the many siblings he has. being the second youngest, he has four older siblings and one younger brother. alejandro, ana and pablo, of respectively 32, 27 and 26, are his older siblings. his younger brother, the nineteen year old rafael, is the one he feels closest to. he always shared a room with his younger brother, knowing that they didn’t have more room in the house. it were paired with the regular fights over playstation controllers, or who would be allowed a second portion for dinner first. or the hourly fights over privacy, the others constantly being around you. their family is hectic, chaotic, living in a house that only portrays the mess they are. anyone from the outside entering the household, hearing loud voices arguing over the sound of mama alarcón cooking in the kitchen and someone else streaming their music too loudly in their room would figure they were dysfunctional. however alvaro would not wish for things to be different. the close proximity they always had, the quite literal proximity, also enabled him to get to know his siblings and his parents like the back of his hand. their personas are like a second nature to him, he understands them without words, they understand him with a mere look of those hazel eyes. it feels effortless, even though it is not   — �� perhaps though, the effort feels worth it to all of them. family comes first in every situation to him, would in a heartbeat agree that blood is indeed thicker than water, and would give the world to see any of them happy. no matter the cost, he aims to see smiles on their faces. he might not see them every day, ever since he moved out for college. and the other family members might have wandered across the country more, yet there is the unconditional love that runs through the alarcón family.

alvaro never enjoyed language. spanish came natural, of course, but learning english already proved harder when he was young. perhaps therefore never entirely found his place in the courses that were entirely dependent on his language skills. never found himself interested in the stories of history, the explanations of geography, the beauty of language and translation. he were always distracted, struggling to keep his focus on the subjects that barely interested him. high school, however, did open the doors for alvaro to discover what he was passionate about. perhaps it were the universal language of numbers and formulas that initially attracted him, yet he were immediately more drawn to the hard sciences. long nights, hard work and many many classes further, he mastered the art of physics, chemistry and math. the numbers seem to make sense in his head more than words to, especially as a boy who struggled with expressing his thoughts eloquently in any language other than his mother tongue.

his love for these subjects, and also the influence of his dad, also sparked his interest in what now is the one thing dominating his life. he’s an astrophile, fond of the stars, the galaxies, the moon and the world beyond what is known. from a young age the dreams of becoming an astronaut were starting to appear, only dreaming of what setting foot on the moon would be like. not only feeling weightless, but as if he were indestructible. his father had been a high school physics teacher. he remembers the evenings they used to build their own telescopes together, sit in the garden behind their house and look up at the bright, clear sky to try and see whether they could identify orion. or whether he could spot his star sign, sagittarius. it were a bonding activity for the both of them, something that gave alvaro a step forward in comparison to his other siblings. but from very early on, these were dreams, interests and things he grew to love over the years. his dreams were empowering, even when they were merely dreams. he would not move on to be an astronaut, neither is that the aim anymore. after his high school graduation, he moved on to become an undergrad student in astronomy, and now moved on to become a graduate student in astrophysics. combining both what he considers to be the love of his life, and the numbers that make sense to him in his mind so easily.

it would be a lie to say that alvaro does not dream of working for nasa in the future. currently he is quite occupied, doing his research, yet it still remains however his goal in life to once be able to say he works for the biggest space organization in the world.

his persona in one word can be described as juvenile. far into his twenties, his soul can still be compared to that of a child. impulsive, reckless or perhaps even tactless, the spaniard is one that does not realize his own or others’ limits. it could be questioned whether he ever grew up, whether he ever matured. he fails to understand there are consequences to certain actions, avoids conflict like it’s the black plague and the act of fighting is something he dislikes more than he does waking up early. he would rather flee than face the consequences of his own actions, and most definitely does not deal with them like an adult should. alvaro lives in his own idealistic world in which he decides the rules, no one else does. in which he does not carry the burden or the responsibility, but everyone around him does. where he never lost the comfort of family, of others looking out for him.

by now, he might even be afraid to grow up. his birthday is a day he would dread if it were not for the celebrations bringing together his family and friends. the only numbers he doesn’t like, are those of his age. slowly but surely losing grip of the safety of the people around him, having to discover uncharted waters … it scares him, it frightens him and it is something he wishes to avoid at all costs.

this same juvenile phase is also combined however with a way of living life that is carefree. he carries a childlike enthusiasm for adventure, for exploration and for the unknown. he seeks things that others would not dare to get involved with, is an optimist by nature and never fails to bring a smile to his own face. perhaps coincidentally as well, he is truly a disney fan with peter pan being his ultimate favourite movie.

similarly, the boy is notorious for being a fool. he does not fear, he enjoys or perhaps craves being the center of attention and does not know the definition to the word shame. in the end, looking back on his family situation, you could say that his behaviour had always been heightened as a way to seek the attention he wanted. to stand out, to attract all attention to himself, to put himself forward. even among family he is notorious for his reckless actions, his ways of failing to see when danger could strike, for failing to see shame or possible embarrassment in any situation. perhaps it only gives him a more positive outlook on life, where he feels as if he is on top of the world in every situation, yet it also brings the opportunity for him to fall hard, for it to absolutely crush him seeing the reality of the world compared to what he envisions himself.

some headcanons then  !  first of all, he’s a natural flirt. he carries some kind of natural charm that gives him this constant flirtatious look. he is completely unaware and perhaps that only worsens it. he would flirt with your mother in front of you and be completely clueless about it. perhaps similarly, he also has issues identifying the very thin line between interest and possibly love. he barely had any serious relationships throughout the years, perhaps never feeling as passionately in love, merely entertained by the chase. alvaro falls in love hard and fast, and once he does however there’s no going back from it. also pan. will possibly fall in love with anyone.

he’s a gigantic football fan, and has always supported fc barcelona. despite growing up a bit to the south of the city, as a young boy he grew up watching the heroes such as andres iniesta and lionel messi, playing for the club he grew to love. he has visited them a few times when he still lived in spain, and still wears his jersey with pride whenever the team is playing.

some more random ones … he’s got the ultimate dream date being a picnic in the park or at the beach followed by stargazing at night. perhaps utterly romantic for a boy who does not date, however he’s just a sucker for the bright night sky. his favourite colour is green, as it reminds him of the outside, of creativity, of optimism. he always said to himself he wouldn’t move away from spain, not for a million dollars. is a gigantic lightweight, can not hold his alcohol. will drink two beers on a slightly empty stomach and drags on your arm because he wants to go skinny dipping in your neighbours’ pool. also loves karaoke, he’s not a killer singer but he’s a stage presence (  also a total sucker for the 80s and 90s classics  ).

[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[mysticseasons]

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir's Remarkable Teachers

(2012 - Ontario College of Teachers article)

OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALLISTS Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are living proof that sometimes remarkable people come in pairs. And just as a strong figure skating partnership has brought success to their careers, it took a pair of inspiring and understanding teachers to change each of their lives as students.

Tessa Virtue was six when she started to skate, and as a result her experience at school was different than that of most students. Her dedication to the sport meant having to adapt to rigorous schedules and miss out on many things, including morning classes. These challenges came as early as Grade 4. Fortunately for Virtue, she was never alone in the struggle.

“It was thanks to accommodating teachers who believed in me and understood my training commitments that I was able to succeed,” she says.

Throughout the years, Virtue attended a number of schools and met a series of teachers who made a difference. Harry Kemperman, OCT, a career studies teacher at Bluevale CI in Waterloo, was one of them.

It was thanks to accommodating teachers who believed in me and understood my training commitments that I was able to succeed.

“I moved to Waterloo when I was 13. I had skipped Grade 8 completely — for scheduling reasons — so I started high school younger and shorter than everyone else,” Virtue recalls. “I was even missing a couple of front teeth. I was new to the school and it was a very intimidating experience. But Mr. Kemperman made me feel welcome and supported, and he always encouraged my skating. He would send me motivational emails. I was really glad to talk to him when I was away.”

(Above: Tessa Virtue celebrates her Olympic gold with Happy Kemperman, OCT, at Bluevale CI).

Although she had Kemperman for only half a semester, she’s still in touch with him today and considers him a friend.

Kemperman’s memories of Virtue are just as fond: “She completely impressed me. She really knew what she wanted. She was driven, motivated and incredibly organized.”

Despite missing a fair amount of class time, Virtue finished with the highest mark in Kemperman’s course.

“There was a research assignment that the students had on what career they wanted to explore,” Kemperman says. “All the hockey players were researching how to become professional hockey players —or something connected to sports. I was expecting Tessa to research within the skating community but soon realized that her interests extended far beyond. Her presentation was about lawyers, and she did a fabulous job. That’s when I realized what a well-rounded kid she was.”

When it came to her skating, Kemperman says, Virtue was quiet and never one to blow her own horn. “Only after I’d realized that one of her competitions was in the Czech Republic did it dawn on me just what kind of skating potential she had.” Little did he know that five years later Virtue would personally invite him to a homecoming celebration in Ilderton, after she and Moir won gold in Vancouver.

Kemperman hopes that Virtue will keep chasing her dreams.

(Above: Scott Moir and Tessa Virtue catch up with Daniella Czunder, OCT, at signing event in 2009).

“She’s got so much to offer in so many ways, and I’m curious where she’ll end up, especially in her off-ice career. I know it will be something that she’ll be passionate about and go after 100 per cent.”

After Virtue’s first two years of high school, she moved to Detroit for training and found herself crossing the border into Windsor to attend school. She soon met Daniella Czudner, OCT, a teacher who went above and beyond for her students. Virtue was placed in Czudner’s Grade 11 English class at Holy Names HS, and an instant friendship developed that continues today.

“I could relate to her on a different level,” says Virtue. “She was always supportive of me and my schedule. Not every teacher understood the kind of commitment it took to train and compete.”

Czudner not only helped Virtue overcome academic hurdles, she encouraged her to have a healthy social life. “By Grade 11, people have their cliques,” says Virtue. “She [Czudner] showed me the ropes and introduced me to people. By the time I left that school in Windsor, it felt like home.”

The admiration is mutual. Czudner describes Virtue as “the most mature, focused and determined person I’ve ever met — and I’m not just talking about the skating. I remember how she went to the World Junior Championships and made sure she handed in her English essay before she left.”

In just a year they forged many special memories. Virtue and Czudner attended the school play together, travelled to New York City on a field trip —Virtue's first non-skating-related excursion — and even enjoyed a home-cooked meal where Virtue met Czudner’s family.

Virtue’s favorite subject was English, and according to Czudner she was a talented writer. Czudner still has a poem Virtue wrote about the importance of being prepared.

Czudner went to the 2010 Winter Olympics to see Virtue perform. She marvels at how her former student went from being a normal kid to a national celebrity in what seems like a very short period of time.

Virtue’s partner, Scott Moir, has reached the same level of celebrity. And although he has travelled the world and won countless awards for his skating, some of his fondest memories are from his public school days in Ilderton. He attributes this to having great teachers.

“I come from a very small town and went to Oxbow PS, which was very intimate,” says Moir. “I grew up with the same class of 30 kids from kindergarten to Grade 8, so I had a very normal school experience.”

(Above: Paul Marshman (left) and Gary Groulx OCT, (right) pose with Moir at Oxbow PS in 2010).

“He had a great personality — it was easy to relate to him,” Moir says. “He taught music, a class that not many of us liked, and made it about the history of rock and roll. It really grabbed our attention. It made school cool, and for Grade 7 students that’s really important. Learning about The Kinks and rock and roll bands was awesome.”

Marshman says that Moir was a hard-working student and an academic talent. “I remember his mother asking during a parent-teacher interview, ‘Is Scotty getting his work done?’ And I said, ‘Alma, he’s the only boy who always has his math finished. I never have to chase him for anything.’ He was dedicated. His parents had instilled in him that he wouldn’t be a skater unless he kept up his school work.”

Grade 8 was an equally important time for Moir, a year of discovery.

“I loved math,” he says. “The academic achievement that I’m most proud of is my Grade 8 math award.”

Grade 8 was also when he met Gary Groulx, OCT, a teacher who has left a lasting impression — they remain friends to this day.

“Mr. Groulx was definitely a huge part of my math award,” says Moir. He taught me that just because my schedule was different it didn’t mean I couldn’t learn and accomplish as much as the other students —a huge lesson that I would take forward into my secondary school education.”

For Groulx, Moir was not only a hard-working, dedicated and focused student but also an inspiring one.

“Scott gave me a necktie for Christmas, and on the back it said, ‘The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.’ I still have that tie and wear it on special occasions,” says Groulx.

Moir also gave Groulx a book of motivational sayings that he continues to use.

“Every week I put one of them on the whiteboard,” says Groulx. “I guess he does have a legacy here; he’s still a part of my classroom.”

It was in a similar classroom, years ago, that Groulx realized what an outgoing and sensitive person Moir really was.

“We had a boy transfer from another school who had some behavioural issues,” says Groulx.

The new student was described as being almost six feet tall and very intimidating.

“I asked that everyone welcome him and make him feel comfortable, but it was Scott who took this upon himself. The student really flourished, and I’m sure part of it was due to the friendships that Scott helped him develop. He and Scott are still the best of friends.”

After winning gold in 2010, Moir went back to Oxbow to speak at an assembly. Groulx was impressed when Moir readily passed his medal around to the kids. “There was no concern. It was typical of how he’s always conducted himself and interacted with everybody.”

It’s clear that in the eyes of their favourite teachers, Virtue and Moir are a class act. Striking a successful balance between athletics and academics is what helped give this gold medal couple their winning edge.

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