#remember fb modules???

[mjrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr]

might join threads bc i'm bored but also for the investment oportunity

[haldenlith]

Binary Stars - Ch 1

I come bearing an interesting little thing. Remember my occasional rambling about my mind concocting a seperate universe with Uldwyn (base Uldren) and Hal? And it's a cyberpunk styled universe with magic? But it's not the Destiny universe? But it uses a lot of story elements and themes from it? And that I was hesitant to call it an "Alternate Universe" because of that? Well I started writing on that. Decided to start things actually from Uldwyn's perspective, and... I don't think I'm going to explain much past that. Just keep in mind this is different and not Destiny. Also, the "Arachas" are this universe's Eliksni. They're renamed because of being physically different. I don't know if I'll put this on AO3 or not given how and what it is. Also title is a working title. I'm at a loss for a better one. (Essentially put a Turian from Mass Effect, a Predator from the Predator series, an Eliksni, a spider, and a Necromorph from Dead Space into a blender -- congratulations, you have an Arachas.) Anyway, there is a content warning for suicidal ideation and general mature themes.

They trudged through overly sanitized, brutalist corridors of biocrete and steel. Tight grips on tired arms, dragging him along, boots echoing and drowning out the softer patter of his bare feet on the cold, cold floor. Lunar Penal Facility K-1 was nothing like the prison back home. His people’s prison. Petra might have thrown him in there and thrown away the key, but at least he was left with some dignity there.

Earth Coalition’s government had other thoughts on what inmates of their maximum security prison got. Dignity was not high on that list. It was low, scattering the floor in the processing room, with his hair they’d so unceremoniously shaved off. Clothing stripped away, discarded, as guards looked on upon his naked body, packing rifles high powered enough that he’d be little more than meaty splatter on the walls if they felt so inclined. They probably did, they just valued their jobs more. Undergarments and a jumpsuit was issued in place of the dirty but finer, high quality garments he was dragged in wearing.

He started to dig his feet into the polished floor, started to fight. The faint hum of servos whirred as the cybernetics on one of the guards kicked into a higher gear, wrenching him along, forward. His feet caught, and he felt their hands loosen.

They let him stumble and fall face first into the hard floor. A metallic taste graced his mouth. He’d bit his lip hard enough to bleed. A stinging pain that was nothing in the face of what he already felt.

“Get up.” They grabbed him, dragged him to his feet, hauling him in front of another guard – clearly an administrator, tired and uninterested in any inmate’s woes. His orange eyes inspected them, focusing. A Full-Body. Those weirdos that went and got themselves turned into robots. Green optics stared back, a modulated voice scoffing.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in, bloody and beaten. What do people refer to you as now? ‘The Butcher Prince?’ If I had my way about it, we’d chuck you outside and let you suffocate to death outside the O2 zone, but that’s too good for you.” The clicking and clacking of keys on the keyboard followed. A metal collar was fitted onto him, connecting into the port on the back of his neck. His own cybernetic eyes glitched and struggled to refocus. Everything did in him. The thrum of magic in his magitek augments died. It wasn’t a collar.

It was a muzzle.

He glared through the thick crysglass window at the administrator click-clacking away on the keyboard. “From this day forth, you are no longer Uldwyn Sov, you are simply Inmate #7050. I don’t know what kind of tea and crumpet shit you got back in that Plutonian prison you busted out of, but you’re not getting any of that shit here. We do not give a fuck who you were before, you are Inmate #7050 now, and you are just as much a piece of shit as every other inmate in here. Welcome to Lunaris K-1.” The FB’s green oculars narrowed, and the modular voice added in what sounded like a sneer, if they had the ability to make any kind of a facial expression, “Enjoy your stay.”

Clockwork. Everything was clockwork. Wake up was at 0500. Breakfast was at 0600. Showers, every other day, at 0730. Duties started at 0900, ended at 1700. If you behave like a good dog, you get a snack somewhere during that. Dinner was at 1800…

Part of him appreciated the rigidity of the schedule. There was no deviation. Deviation equaled punishment. Simple. Effective. It filled the void for all of a week.

Breakfast at 0600.

“Hey! Hey you, you smarmy bastard. I had family on Pluto. Family your fucking alien cult murdered.” Uldwyn kept his eyes on his food, tuning the man out. It was bland. “Hey, you fucking prick, I’m talking to you!” It was food, so he couldn’t complain, but he’d certainly had better.

A crude shiv was produced and aimed at Uldwyn. The man learned quickly how hard the tables were as Uldwyn dodged and responded in kind, grabbing and slamming the man’s skull into the table enough times to ensure he was unconscious. He went back to his food. The cafeteria was a little chilly, or maybe he was just still adjusting to the breeze he could feel on his head. The fuzz was growing out, but in its current form, the sparse, stubborn bits of white stood out a bit more against the dark black of his hair.

More people saddled up to the table.

Uldwyn heaved a sigh. “I’m really not in the mood.”

All of a week was all that lasted before his first real prison fight. He grunted as he was slammed back into his cell. The cybernetic shackles let out a shrill beep before disengaging, allowing him to get his arms apart. He sat on the bed and stared at the floor.

He pondered why he dodged the shiv.

Dying was easier.

“Dying is easy. You don’t get to have easy.” That bastard’s voice echoed in his head. He looked up and saw other inmates through the heavy steel latticework geometry of the front of his cell. Challenging glares and hungry eyes. He was a bird of prey with clipped wings in a den of hungry wolves, gnashing their teeth.

Dying. Was easier.

He had nothing to hope for. No spark burned inside. Not any more. It was all burned to the ground.

The next fight was during Duties. Back in the cell.

His people hated him.

Another fight at Breakfast.

His sister was gone.

The showers. That one was particularly rough thanks to the slick floor. He couldn’t help but feel like the guards had been intentionally slower to respond that time.

Even the people on Earth hated him.

“He’s done. He has nothing left.” He could hear that bastard’s voice in his head better than his own, at times.

Two fights in one day. Two different groups. The first was during Duties, which had been cleaning this time. They learned how well trained Uldwyn was, and how anything could be a weapon with him. The second was during Dinner time. That one was the worst. He was hungry. He didn’t get to eat anything.

Even the Arachas gave him a wide berth. He had a target on his front and back. He was arguably the most dangerous inmate in the prison, going by what he was in there for. Anyone else that had achieved his body count had been killed.

Dying was easier.

They got the easy way out.

He was shoved into a new cell. Four walls. Biocrete painted white. Sterile. Cameras, tiny, violating, sitting the corners. The thick door re-engaged behind him.

The Butcher Prince finally had his own kingdom, solitary and isolated. How kind.

A new schedule. Wake up at 0500. Breakfast at 0530, arriving through a slot, heralded by a mockingly cheerful AI.

“You have approximately thirty minutes to consume your designated meal. The tray, with utensils, is to be returned to the receptacle for evaluation. Missing utensils will result in a mark on the inmate’s record and immediate cell search.”

Showers now only occurred once a week – he assumed it was a week, it was hard to tell anymore – at 0700.

Then… nothing. Nothing. Nothing but his thoughts. Nothing but the silence. Nothing but the faint hum of a vent blowing in recycled oxygen.

Dinner at 1730.

“You have approximately thirty minutes to consume your designated meal. The tray, with utensils, is to be returned to the receptacle for evaluation. Missing utensils will result in a mark on the inmate’s record and immediate cell search.”

Lights out at 1900.

He curled up on the cot. His hair was just long enough to run his fingers through now.

His face itched. He’d not had a beard in… a long time. Even if it was only scruff.

Wake up at 0500.

Breakfast at 0530.

“You have approximately thirty minutes to consume your designated meal. The tray, with utensils, is to be returned to the receptacle for evaluation. Missing utensils will result in a mark on the inmate’s record and immediate cell search.”

Silence.

Dinner at 1730.

“You have approximately thirty minutes to consume your designated meal. The tray, with utensils, is to be returned to the receptacle for evaluation. Missing utensils will result in a mark on the inmate’s record and immediate cell search.”

Lights out at 1900.

Wake up at 0500.

Silence.

Wake up at 0500.

Dying was easier.

Silence and the same four white walls.

DYING WAS EASIER.

Wake up at 0500.

DYING WAS EASIER.

Why didn’t he let her shoot him? Why did he not shoot him?

Wake up at 0500.

DYING WAS EASIER.

He hated him.

Wake up at 0500.

Silence and the same four white walls and the memory of the man that put him here. “Now deal with the consequences of your fucking actions.”

DYING WAS EASIER.

He wanted to die. He didn’t want to live with this.

Wake up at 0500.

IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT.

This was hell.

YOU DESERVE THIS.

They should have killed him. The gun was there. It was loaded. It was pressed to him even after Petra was knocked unconscious and it was right there and he was staring right into those cheap dollar store synth-optics that the idiot had dared to compare to his own and he remembered sneering at the man and saying, “What are you waiting for?” And the man still didn’t do it.

Why didn’t he do it? That’s what he tore across the kingdom to do, right? It was to be a reckoning? Wasn’t it? IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. THE GUN WAS RIGHT THERE. JUST SHOOT.

I DESERVE IT. I DESERVE TO -

“Hey.” Uldwyn jumped at the voice. His orange eyes darted around the cell, the sleek cybernetic irises shifting and focusing rapidly as he inspected his space. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” He’s losing it. Of course he’s losing it. He already lost it. “You’re not crazy.” More voices in his head. More lies. Something new to come and whisper lies in his ear. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You were vulnerable. They preyed on that.” You’re just like them. “No, I’m not. Here, let me show you.”

A soft glow materialized in the room. A ball of light, pure, warm, with other wisps dancing around it. Barely larger than a baseball. It was like a rainbow. So… inviting. It undulated as it spoke, soft and kind. “See?” Uldwyn stared through his bangs at the ball of light only two feet away.

So inviting and suspicious.

“… Uldwyn, you have officially lost whatever was left of your mind. Well done.” The ball made what could only be best described as an “exasperated circle” in the air while sighing.

“You’re not crazy! I’m real! I’m right here. Everyone here has loud thoughts, but yours are… especially loud. It’s like they’re screaming. Over and over. And you’re very bright. Your aura, that is. I’m sure you’re pretty smart, too, but I just wanted to clarify that.” Uldwyn arched up a brow.

“Bright. Right. And how do I know you aren’t some fresh new horror to torment me?” The ball of light dimmed, as if sulking.

“Oh. Well… I suppose you don’t know. All you can do is trust me.” Trust. What a peculiar word. He scarcely knew it anymore. A sigh escaped him. It wasn’t like he could do anything about this strange Entity choosing to occupy the cell with him. He pressed his back against the cold wall, stroking the short beard he now had. A short, patchy coat of black and white. At least his face didn’t itch anymore.

It was nice to hear a voice other than that of the AI.

“I know it’s a bit invasive to have done so, but in poking through your memories, I’ve seen other versions of you. I’d say you looked quite dashing clean shaven. Maybe that would make you feel better? Cleaning up? It’d at least be something to do.”

“What a wonderful idea. Let me just walk out and ask for a sharp object while languishing in prison. I’m sure they’ll just hand that and some shaving cream right over.” He didn’t even know what he looked like, truth be told. There were no mirrors in the cell. The only “luxury” he was granted was the luxury of knowing the time, communicated via an e-ink clock above the console by the door. Well, the console was a luxury, too. He wasn’t completely cut off. He could… make requests.

Hm.

“Oh well, you know, I was just… trying to figure out a way to cheer you up. Or… something.” The ball of light drooped, sulking. Uldwyn stood and lazily sauntered over to the console. It was sleek. A flat panel of glass. He pressed his hand to the sensor. After a moment, it beeped. The AI voice greeted him once more.

“Inmate #7050, what is your request?” He arched up an eyebrow.

“Um… I know this is a long shot, but is it… possible to get something to shave with?” It was ludicrous, but it wasn’t like he had anything better to do. The worst that could happen is being told no. There were a few moments of silence as a loading circle twirled on the glass.

“Inmate #7050, your request has been denied on the grounds that you would be armed with a sharp object with which to do harm to yourself.” That was exactly what he expected. “However –” He perked. “You may request to pay a visit to the barber facility that is provided as a form of enrichment to inmates. You have accrued one enrichment credit, which is sufficient for one visit.” He blinked a few times and glanced back at the ball of light floating in his room.

“I… alright. Yes, I… I’d like that. I wish to request a visit to the barber facility.” The loading circle appeared once more.

“Inmate #7050, your request has been approved. You now have zero enrichment credits. You may accrue more via good behavior. Your appointment is at 0630 tomorrow. Your allotted shower will follow.” Interesting. Uldwyn turned to look at the light floating by his cot. It shifted colors for a moment. He assumed that it was pleased with itself.

“… I’m not giving you any praise for this idea until after this ordeal, tomorrow.” The ball drooped in the air.

“Oh, alright,” it replied dejectedly. He returned to the cot, plunking down onto it. Dinner would come soon. Hopefully. “Still, at least you’re getting to have a little change of scenery, right? So that’s good.” Lamenting his inability to actually scan this odd little entity, he stared at it.

“So, what are you?” The ball of light expanded briefly, seeming to perk up.

“Oh, well, um… My kind doesn’t really have a name. We just kind of exist. I’ve heard some people call us ‘wisps’. Though, looking at the technical terminology of what is often defined as ‘wisp’, I don’t really feel that’s entirely accurate.” Uldwyn shook his head, which prompted his bangs to fall into his eyes.

Idly pushing his hair back out of the way, he inquired, “Okay, not a wisp. If I’m going to be stuck in a cell with you, I’d like to have a name for you or something.”

“A name! Right. A name. Um…” The ball floated back and forth before conceding, “I… don’t have one of those, either.”

“Of course you don’t.”

“Why don’t you give me a name? It can be a token of our new friendship!” Uldwyn affixed the light with a deadpan stare.

“Friendship.”

“Yes! You seem like you could use a friend!” An unintentionally deep jab by the odd little fellow. A soft groan sounded from Uldwyn as he pinched the bridge of his nose, letting his eyes slide closed.

“With all due respect, considering my past encounters with strange magical entities and creatures – which you appear to be aware of, thanks to rifling around in my head – I’m not particularly inclined to refer to you as a ‘friend’,” he paused, cracking an eye open. “A name, though… I think I can work with giving you a name, at least.” He let his hand fall to his lap and he stared at the ball of light. Smaller dots of light would sometimes flare and split off, orbiting it, before rejoining the mass. Like solar flares or…

Sparks.

“Sparky.” A new response was exhibited from the ball, as it seemed to frazzle and ripple in an irritated fashion.

“What?! No. I don’t like that name.”

“And I don’t like being confined to a cell for the rest of my life, yet here we are. You’re Sparky.” Sparky made a sound like a groan, sinking in the air.

“It’s awful, though! It makes me sound like I’m a dog or something,” he whined.

“Fine. Don’t have a name, then. I’ll just call you ‘Thing’.” Another new response: Sparky seemed to flatten out somewhat, resembling more of a flattened ellipse of light than a ball. He then returned to his spherical shape.

“Fiiiiiiine. I guess I’m Sparky, now.” Sparky’s presence made time tick by a bit more quickly, and before he realized it, Uldwyn heard the sounds of his food being delivered, along with the usual AI announcement about stealing utensils. The food was bland, as usual, though it was nutritious enough. As dehumanizing as the “Lunaris K-1” prison facility was, they did seem to at least try to keep the inmates fed and taken care of on a base “keep you alive” level. He’d hardly call “meeting the bare minimum” anything worth celebrating, though.

The harsh LED lights illuminating the room automatically shut off at 1900. Sparky was like a little nightlight in the darkness. If the security cameras watching the room could see him, there had been no indicator of it. Uldwyn still mostly suspected that he was hallucinating. Hallucinations were what got him in this mess, so how grossly fitting it was for him to be plagued with them in his darkest moments.

“Is my glow going to bother you? I can vanish for a bit so that you can sleep.”

“It’s fine.”

“Alright. Well… Good night, Uldwyn.” It was strange, perhaps even bizarre, to be wished well under the circumstances. It was ridiculous, even. Yet it was a small comfort, none-the-less. Not that it stopped the restless sleep, tossing and turning, punctuated by nightmares of laughter and screams.

O BROTHER MINE.

Sparky floated closer, summoned by the faint whimper that sounded from the slumbering man, only to dart back when Uldwyn woke with a cry, bolting up. Panting, he ran a hand over his face, trying to collect himself. He glanced to Sparky, who remained where he was, only a foot away.

“Are you okay?” The little light asked softly. Uldwyn simply growled softly and laid back down, pointedly putting his back to Sparky. He still found himself instinctively curling up, trying to find some sort of self-comfort. After a few moments, he heard soft humming behind him. He opened his eyes, but he didn’t turn around.

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to help. I thought maybe a lullaby would help,” Sparky replied. “Do you… want me to stop?” Uldwyn stared into the darkness, silently contemplating the question.

“No. Go ahead.” The humming resumed. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was falling for the same trap all over again.

[protected-and-loved-by-castiel]

Anger is more than an emotion we try hard to release, suppress, lash out, like, or dislike. Anger is instinctual and informs us of injustice, loss, unmet needs, hurt, boundary disruption, and truth dismissal.

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When something goes off early in life, anger comes as an alarm. But who was there to see and hear? When anger is not recognized, it's suppressed. More suppression of anger leads to more reactivity of anger later on in life.

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You may have a conversation with a friend/partner/parent and feel unseen or hurt and notice anger rising up through your body. And you may think that the other person made you angry or triggered you. The trigger is within you.

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This is not the anger "only" of this experience. This is your system remembering all the moments when it felt unheard, unheard, dismissed and suppressed.

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Integration of anger requires 3 elements:

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- acknowledging the loss, the injustice and the pain that anger is reacting to in the present moment: the injustice, the suppressed hurt, the unmet needs, the disconnect, the accumulated survival, the suppressed grief, the disrupted boundaries.

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- recognizing how much anger has been shamed, dismissed, judged and unheard. Changing our relationship to anger is foundational.

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- the nervous system having the capacity and safety to modulate the energy of anger

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Do you need practical tools to transform your relationship with yourself from pressure and confusion to clarity and empowerment?

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I created the audio practices inside The Self-Attunement Audio Toolkit to ease your way into an embodied healing experience.

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You can access the toolkit via my Instagram/FB profile or comment the word Attuned, and I'll DM you the details.

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Love,

Ally.

#nervoussystemhealing #traumaintegration #selfattunement #awakenwithally #dysregulation #embodiedhealing

Love,

Ally.

[faithfromanewperspective]

I’m so glad you had fun!! makes me feel less like I’m flexing my projects. First up I have to say: you are a musician!!! You’re not allowed to say that you’re not otherwise I will start thinking about 5sosxlondon symphony orchestra and I will cry. I find it so cool how you grew up around all that and just absorbed it all especially as the production side of things is probably the area of music I know least about!! It gets like that when you grow up playing with amateur musicians imo. You get complacent sometimes because it’s the only way to put up with how you sound as kids or even in the first few rehearsals when you’re all sight reading the music—like it gets better quickly but still. We’re often missing entire parts until the concert too and only get to hear them all together in the soundcheck. Honestly, I envy musicians who train themselves to sing/play the same songs over and over again and get so confident with them it can be all about the audience and really fine tuning the sounds!! It really is a different world, and it shouldn’t be. Music is music imo and there’s a whole lot of elitism in classical circles that we’d all do better without.

I love love LOVE your idea for vapor->lie to me (I’ve seen the connection story wise between them for a while and the way it leads so well into the teeth/twl/nitsw story) and then wwylm and bad omens!!! I’m def gonna give that one a go. Especially as we’ve got RAH versions of two of them which I absolutely love!! Can’t say when it’ll happen but for your question about how you adjust them to fit together vs how I do, I sometimes change the key sometimes modulate between keys depending (I’m really still messing around here).

for wildflower and high, I remember noticing their chord patterns were similar and I can’t remember if I changed the key of either of them to fit. I think I did it quite hurriedly and there’s a lot of touching up to do still and I might change which instruments have the melody in some cases and add in some harmonies or smth. I do find the intro quite clunky and I’m hoping to rejig it so best years flows over (maybe I will add kill my time. maybe that’s what it needs. idk. I’m also kinda thinking of overlaying a bit of best years into red desert). Anyway as you can tell it’s still a work in progress. One I really enjoy talking about!! Unfortunately I still haven’t figured out if you can send mp3s and musescore files or even pdfs of the score on tumblr, and I do know that not everyone is comfortable sharing their email or other ways of contacting them like fb messenger that these files can be sent by. I could attempt a screen capture video but I really have no idea how to do that and the concerto is 23 minutes long, so that file would be crazy huge and I don’t think it’d upload anywhere anyway. If you are comfortable though I will send it to you if you dm me your email! But no pressure of course!!

and thank you. For some reason I thought you were referring to two separate songs and was like ‘hmm the only one left is daylight and I’m pre sure that’s Not It’ (also like did they call Twilight scifi in it? That’s hilarious. The song is hilarious whether they did or not though and very clever imo). but yes I really do love your analyses and think we should talk more about their songs in that way!! Because they do have that substance that’s worth discussing and incredible music behind it (did you watch Ashton’s drumeo interview??) anyway I love all your other song progression ideas as well and I wish I could do all of them but I do need to be conscious of how much I commit to!! But I’ll never say never. And I hope you keep up your guitar and singing and telling your stories with your covers too (to me that’s the essence of being a musician)

I just came across your analyses of all the 5sos albums and can I just say: chefs kiss. amazing. from the way you approach them both musically and lyrically (are you a musician? you have a very good ear) to being able to tell who is singing which part of the harmony (when there’s more than 2 singing at once I have No Idea, and even when there’s just 2 I’m still a little hit and miss). so grateful you exist and did them!!! not only for my enjoyment purposes but also because of my crazy projects I’m about to tell you about just in case you’re interested

anyway, it started with the RAH version of teeth. I’m a classically trained violist, I’ve played in many orchestras, I looked and asked everywhere I could think of just to lay my hands on something like the score so I could maybe pull some musician friends together and play it. No avail. Then, sleep deprived and slightly manic and very unmotivated in the middle of writing my honours thesis I must’ve played that bass riff when messing around on my viola and was like ‘this isn’t even hard let me just open musescore’ and decided Luke’s voice best fit the cello and calum the viola and six hours later it was a whole orchestral piece with the riffs passing around the upper strings like the RAH version and also woodwind and brass instruments somehow and then the bass riff led me straight into thin white lies which quickly morphed into NITSW (and can I just say that bridge is the best thing ever when played by strings) and I was like, this is telling a story. That became the first movement of the concerto.

second movement had to start with the flutes playing the piano intro of lover of mine, then I borrowed ghost of you from youngblood and threw in lonely heart, all the ones in vaguely 3’s as far as timing goes went in, all satisfactorily longing (if mvmt 1 is Relationship Angst) ending on a reprise of ghost of you chorus a semitone up (I’m not even sure anymore tbh, it’s def less cohesive but pretty I think) and I tried to copy its RAH intro as an outro. By then I realised I wanted to make the third movement about self discovery that ended on red desert because the album is just SO SAD and it deserved a happy ending and I wanted to try fit as many songs from the album in as I could (no shame and kill my time didn’t fit thematically unfortunately and easier should’ve been in movement 1 but sonically it just didn’t go, at least not yet I’m open to attempting to incorporate any of those songs) so started with old me. I realised I could overlay it with best years. Weird choice I know but the chords and melody worked well enough (and I still don’t think best years has been brought to justice ngl). Then I overlaid wildflower with high which is surprisingly a combination that I love, and it worked music wise and I thought they offset each other alright?? I’m still not quite sure where I’m going with it yet. but then comes red desert and I did the RAH intro and the whole song with harmonies (does get repetitive and idk what to do with that yet) and it’s like. yay, I gave CALM a happy ending.

I guess what I’m asking is I want to do more of these for more of their albums or combination of them (like they’re genuinely so fascinating from a musical and storytelling lens I can’t get enough) and I’ve got some ideas but I want to hear if you have anything you can just hear coming after each other. like complete mess and red line or smth?? even moodswings and space between a rock and a hard place?? idk. just ideas. throw them all at me. I’ll do it and dedicate it to you

Okay, first, no, not a musician, it's just that my dad was a dj, so i grew up around a lot of sound equipment because he's very particular about sound quality and that totally developed my ear for that type of stuff and my interest for music is that much more intense because of it (i did teach myself how to play the guitar and i do sing, but, like, i don't have any real training) and I really appreciate you coming here to say these, because i have a lot of fun writing those. Also I saw your tags, don't know if you ever figured it out but the milf anthem is mrs all american lol

Second, I'm desperate to hear what you did with calm, from the description alone it feels like something impressive, I'm very interested to see how you overlayed high and wildflower because i can see it, but i can't really imagine how that would actually work sokaosksokas

And third, I actually have quite a few smaller combos i like to push together (i went through a mashup phase when i was learning how to play 5sos songs lol) but i usually go from lyrics and adjust the guitar to fit my voice, i have no idea how that could work for you, but one i always do is vapor -> lie to me -> why wont you love me -> bad omens (it used to be high at the end, but then they dropped bad omens and i liked the way that narratively bad omens closed the loop, you end up trapped in the relationship you know it's not working I like that a lot for this combo), i have a few weirder ones, that are mostly the ones that i never fully managed to make it work but i think they could, like moodswings into bleach, story of another us into close as strangers, i know you saw my post about rearranging 5sos5 to tell a story and for some reason i think you can overlay caramel and bad omens, and red line and you don't go to parties (this one i admitedlly don't really know, but i think the red line riff with the ydgtp riff could be something, just a feeling lol), there's the rhythm section mashup, tomorrow never dies -> babylon -> tears, that I think you can make something with the bass in all of them, for some reason vapor and me myself and i, talk fast -> not in the same way -> blender -> kill my time, this one i think its cool because of the 80s pop of the melodies and the progression of the story with the lyrics, lover of mine -> best years -> older -> ghost of you, again you have the narrative and i think the piano can work all of there to make this tragic love song. And this is everything i can think of right now, but i will probably think of more as soon as i hit post tho soaskookasas

But seriously, this sounds really cool, please let me know how it progresses <3

[sif-eya]

The Fight Against Fake News and Disinformation

Entry #16: 110722

As I was eating my breakfast this morning, my lola (grandmother) suddenly told me that the University of the Philippines - Diliman will now be closed. For those who don't know, the University of the Philippines is considered to be the 'best' university in my country. Now, going back to what I was saying, my lola was laughing nonstop as if she was really delighted that the said university will now be closed. I kept my mouth shut as I know that it's nonsense to argue with close minded people especially the elders. My family and I have different political views. My tita (aunt) then came to the dining room and of course, my lola told her about the news that she just saw on FB (Facebook). Although my tita and I have different political views as well, at least she knows how to fact check and differentiate a fake news from what is true. She then bravely told my lola, "I-check niyo muna kung legit ba 'yang nakikita niyong balita" (Check it first if it's from a verified source) and "Hindi naman lahat ng nakikita niyo sa FB ay totoo" (Not everything that you see in Facebook is true). I secretly smiled. Despite the fact that the University of the Philippines is considered to be the 'best' school in my country, those who support the current President considers it as a breeding ground for the NPAs (New People's Army, a communist group). That's why my lola was delighted because she is one of the people who thinks that UP (University of the Philippines) is not a 'worthy-of-the people's-taxes' university since it's a State University which means that everyone who's studying there is a scholar. Now, I also just remembered that the Philippines' ranking when it comes to reading comprehension is at the bottom. This just means that the Filipino citizens are more prone to being victims of fake news and disinformation in every social media platform that there is. Yes, the University of the Philippines will now be closed but that information is incomplete. Only the Academic Oval and other public spaces of the said university will be closed due to rising Covid-19 cases and not because it is against the current administration. Students complain about the repetitive lessons in school about dissemination of fake news and such without realizing the importance behind it. Somehow, the topic is not supposed to be a 'fun' one since this is a serious matter to be tackled. But from what I can see, despite the repetitive lessons in school, teenagers still continue to be victims of fake news everywhere. Why? Because of social media which causes their brain to be overstimulated to the point that they cannot identify a false information anymore as it can easily be masked as the 'truth'. Let's also not forget that short videos in reels are far more entertaining than a boring plain text in modules. We get easily swayed by aesthetic designs, misleading titles, up-beat songs, and totally unrelated thumbnails. However, we shall always remember to fact check and not let ourselves be victims of fake news and disinformation. Technology is continuously evolving and we should not take this for granted. The truth will always set us free.

[a-velvet-vice]

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[thedollardm]

Ok so I've made INSANE progress on editing ASOLAD CH 1: How the Turns have Tabled.

Like I did in a couple hours what took me 6 WEEKS on my old laptop.

If you want to know what I'm talking about, have a look at the pinned post on my blog.

But, to shed more light, let me tell you some of the highlights of ASOLAD

No Good/Evil Alignments, only Elements and Choices

The BBEG of chapter 1 is a 300 year old Lich.

He's also an Artithromancer

Yes this will be a Subclass available in chapter 2

There's a HEAVY focus on puzzles and Tactical Creativity as there are several battles you can't "win" in the traditional sense

The Lore of the world of Es'Trahn is told as a series of bedtime stories, recorded in a journal

There are flashbacks to the pro/antagonists of the events of 300 years previous, which set the whole plot in motion

I have outlined a 12 CHAPTER LONG EPIC CAMPAIGN that will see your PCs get to at LEAST level 20 in 2 classes by the end.

Chapter 1 is as stereotypical a setting as possible in order to highlight all the diverse characters and cultures you will meet on your journey through Es'Trahn

All magic is based in Song

All ancient names and locations are heavily based on Ancient Persia

There's 2 whole chapters devoted to that theme (ch 5 & 6)

DID I MENTION ZOMBIES!?!?

FIKKIN ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE

The local priest is a drunk Protestant-esque preacher who reveals himself to be a retired Light Cleric

If your PCs don't take notes, THEY WILL PROBABLY DIE because there's a lot of puzzles that depend on remembering events and stories you uncover

So if you want to know more about the world of Es’Trahn, the village of Taichenbirk, or anything else about this module and series, PLEASE ASK ME!

I'm also on all the major socials (IG, FB, TT, TWIT, YT) under the same name, thedollardm.

[theurbansquared]

Guide To Avoiding A Loser Brokerage

by James Hill | theurbansquared

Brokers can be bastards and some even get better at it while other brokers are legitimate life-changing business Sherpas

A broker is supposed to guide you through a career in real estate much like a coach or pimp - offering protection and how to understand a complicated system better and direct it to revenue  without getting your neck broke while playing the game. I created and ran the most well-reviewed, largest full-service brokerage in the fastest-growing city in America.  This gave me access to nearly ever broker and their broker's pay structure and innovations. I also got the agent's version of my same broker buddies brokerages when they eventually joined my brokerage; hovering anywhere from 20–60 agents. Trending insider chatter has blame going to real estate brokers of decades past (and current) and how they’ve managed their agents - - letting unsupervised  agents with no experience run wild on the streets practicing on the public wearing out Realtor love and making a need for all the Mountain Dew-made Zillow-y options that currently exist.

Brokers are out of touch more than ever with today’s current media load, having to understand and use social media platforms for their advertising (since the private Town & Country affair that real estate once was is forever over and the landscape is a bit more like a half Juggalo, half programmer flea market).

Let’s dive into some situations and tenets that most agents don’t consider when choosing a brokerage.

Sales Volume

This is a bit of negotiating psychology and due diligence. Simply ask how much sales they (the brokerage) did last year and how much they’re currently at. If they don’t know these numbers they’re goons. If they don’t give it, you guessed it - they’re hiding something; their lack of revenue. I’ve hired and fired hundreds of agents and in interviews so few ask this question but it’s one of the most important questions you can ask as an agent and you need the information. An agent that doesn’t ask this has already given a tell that they’re not a top producer since they’re not interested in the production capacity of the team they may join. No bueno. Creep the brokerage as well obvi -- reviews, FB & IG engagement and current running ads, and make sure the company Christmas Party isn’t catered by Chic-fil-a at a Burnet Road dive bar.

Office

40% of your learning and 350% of your work will be done at the office. Those numbers will make sense 90% of the time after a few years in real estate. The rest should be on the streets - your car, properties, driving 75 mph talking and sending out docs, gorging on breath mints. Office, home, tiny homes, motorhomes have all blended into one larger conversation where work/live ethos are all in re-definition.

But, when you do need a more savvy moment in any market when people talk about borrowing or selling something that’s over $100K they don’t want to hear some bullshit too loud pedantic conversation seated right next to them at Starbucks or the local kooky coffee shop. In real estate Murphy’s Law is always in effect. The super important listing sign off that has to go well and they want to hear you pitch again before deciding? There will be someone (at this super ‘caj’ coffee house meeting) there projectile vomiting, or throwing cats, or something else tiresome or bad that takes more calls.

Speech and body language are massive parts of sales so when the entire set is thrown because a barista is running through a whole Sublime album. You want the most inviting cool office you can ever pull off at any given moment in real estate . Was that ever a question? There's a balance  -- you can't afford that year one or three, but it’s called real estate for a reason. Sexy, exciting buildings is what the brochure said when I joined. Also, it’s about style not size.

If you haven’t lost business to coffee house back pressure you really haven’t failed at agency properly.

Social IQ

Social reach is the only conversation now. Many brokerages won’t make it as the lead generating aspects of the industry aren't powered by a private MLS anyone and the publicly-hated ‘Realtor’ designation have both brokers and agents guessing about tomorrow. Calendars, best practices and free shitty tips & templates are the du jour of the day for anyone trying to get an agent's eyes. You can Google and get all the ‘basic’ social media dance steps, but with everyone at the same happy hunting spot, you’re being covered up, which leaves all your new artistic efforts fruitless and also squandering winning time.

Traffic, leads and engagement are all separate areas that have to be fulfilled properly and even this is in flux with historic corporations and current start ups all on the same advertising playing field. Social reach and engagement is about going to the consumer direct and becoming their friend with soft bribes -- free food, gifts, prizes (trips, events tickets) or industry work tools. The great news is, real estate has always been mostly consumer direct - start up a convoy at the grocery store (bar, church, meetup) and you’re in the car that weekend looking for houses with a new client. While you, your brokerage and the world are figuring out their exact social media mix, you need to make sure a brokerage isn’t lost on social media since many won’t be able to stay in business in the next few short years. Your brokerage needs to have a plan and and at best some presence on social media. Plus, they should be running low-cost performative marketing ad campaigns to get a feel for what and if set user groups are responding to ads. Anyone can post on IG but people engage on IG when they become inspired. A brokerage should have some sort of inspiration and relationship tied in with the local allure of their city --  or heading that direction.

Mentoring

Much like a neurotic buyer chasing an interest rate for their home mortgage (and then never buying a house) agents too focused on commission may miss the essential career need for mentoring -- for their clients and career. I had a 5 deal minimum for my new agents before they were ever unsupervised and received more commission. I've had new agents with celeb clients in hand and celeb agents with no clients in hand. No one wants to do business with someone with absolutely has no, experience but they do it because they like you as a friend or fam. Your mentor is the person riding shotgun with you at the beginning of your career. On many levels you want to be this person since they embody the position and role. You're literally and figuratively are borrowing experience from them and they deserve to be paid for it. You always have to strengthen your brand outside of your brokerage but if you don’t have any experience your brand doesn’t have ‘strength’ you simply have a logo and a drag & drop website where you're possibly talking about yourself and love of unicorns or football shit but the big boat deals you dream about in bed aren’t gotten this way. Remember, no unicorn could ever throw a football good without a lot of practice and a good mentor.

Support

Support in a brokerage is really communication and solutions for small problems, and systems for managing bigger ones with people. Most of the annoying things in real estate happen outside of the deal - contracts, calls, emails, docs, signatures, more docs. You typically want a super admin, broker, or agent manager that you can call and they pick up the phone. It’s pretty simple. With a mentor, admin, or broker you’re going to have a n 8:30 PM question or deal that’s going down. You’ll need printer help. Real estate always happens now (this was one of the main mantras in my office). Printing, prequal, weekend support and constant post dinner shenanigans.

Training

Meet Frank Miller, David Mamet, the Sex Pistols, Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Hendrix, Tom Hopkins, The World’s Greatest Detective and Conan The Barbarian. We had a lot of different inspirations for the style and ethos of our urban brokerage. The World’s Greatest Detective is Batman. It was a moniker that became popular in the seventies. We used this example about how important due diligence and proper Fact Finding techniques are for serving and closing deals for clients. (It’s almost essential to be inquisitive in real estate esp about property/development to have success). Training is largely your sales meeting(s). Although I don’t come from a car background I’ve mentored many car guys transferring to real estate (they typically are out of the industry within 2 years and are there only for boom markets). Car guys have meetings every morning 6 days a week and they’re not at 9 or 10 am. They’re already working.

free module: The Burger King Phenomena: Why Agents Do Less Working For Themselves Than If They Were Working At Burger King

Many brokerages have no training/meeting schedule (monthly doesn’t count -- that’s a meet and greet company pump and catch up meeting). If a brokerage doesn’t have training on a schedule then there is no training. You’ll possibly be thrown a 3-ring binder, or given some PDF’s, or links to old bizarre training videos or a soup sandwich of all three and sometimes even a bill for the training. An agent’s training/meetings and their attendance to them are the difference between an agent making it or not when you’re 24 months or less in the role as an agent especially in the fast turbulent waters of the current 2021 market where brokerage and agent purpose and pay are under attack. From my experience, new agents that hide die.

Media

Having a background as a creative director I’m aware with great detail of agency and brokerage media needs, the cost and time they extract, and the corresponding revenue they’re projected to bring back. Brokerages are looking for their purpose now as simply having a brokerage doesn’t bring in leads like it used to. This is fitting, since the digital dumbass brokers that that didn’t understand the importance of ‘the web’ rickshawed our MLS data and sold the agent/broker centric real estate system for their benefit while current agents are left with an empty greasy enough to-go box to curl up with. Brokerages were never media houses or ad agencies but now that consumer level graphic programs and website builders are ubiquitous and any agent after being licensed for 10 days can drag & drop a website up in 4 hours and make it look like a brokerage that’s been around for years. I know I’m going wide on the subject here but stay with me because this is the crux of where the industry and consumer are renegotiating roles.

A brokerage’s value proposition has changed drastically with the telecommute revolution that was only sped and strengthened by Covid. Also, generational knowledge base gaps in technology are more apparent than ever with technology as younger agents can often be more media savvy than their broker. The market is flooded with self appointed companies or gurus that are taking on the role of the classic ad agency (Mad Men) or media production house. Also beware of real estate coaches with little or no real estate experience offering to guide you in social media. Okay media can’t be used in apex situations (such as the luxury listings you’re after) and doesn’t draw apex listings. Beware of tapioca room temperature tips and general lists from companies that can appear informative but are really boilerplate low grade data to get your attention to ultimately upsell you on a paid service.

As an agent or a brokerage, consumer level graphic and website building programs can be a death ticket to your business as your competitors have the same tools and are cranking out the same type of style of messaging you are now. Now agents, principals, admins and in art class creating flyers. This has been done since the nineties as the valleys of dead agent careers is full of 2-day Microsoft Word (or any of their shitty office offerings) seshes to produce nasty flyers and presentations. These programs are fun and making bad flyers absolutely work related - the kind of work you don’t want’ related to your business because it’s adult crayon coloring. Activity does not equal production. Staying busy doing the wrong things doesn’t make money in real estate. Rather than spending agent winning time staying in the wrong lanes for way too long, get with a team or brokerage that are providing the most exceptional visual media you can find in your market. It used to be cool 2 years ago, now it’s the only thing that matters. Visual content.

free module: Better Agent Media, Less Agent Money (media tips and hacks).

Access

This is access to your broker. Brokers with families are typically less available. Your best bet as an agent is looking for a grinder broker who sleeps on the couch at their office. This person doesn’t have kids to build into so they’ll build into your career and you’ll get the most out of these brokers. Beware of cheesedick, apathetic, rich boy, bored brokers not around and more concerned with projects like a shitty vanity wine brand that their wife’s forced them to launch since she’s not living her best life anymore as an agent.

Style

What kind of style is your brokerage? Is there an opportunity to bring more style sophistication to the market -- standout in a smaller market? Or, are you in an ultra stylish market currently and butt hurt because you already have a little story about how you’re going to keep it real and be a Dockers wearing slob for eternity? The thing about style in agency is you always need to look like you can list a million dollar house. Oh, is it really that simple? Yes it is. You complicated it. Clients always care about their housing a little bit more than they care about your real estate career. They don’t have time to figure out why you’re wearing shoe styles from 7 years ago. Don’t make it hard for people to do business with you. If you’re ugly, even better. It can be a massive advantage. Everyone on the planet loves when someone who doesn’t fall into our general current ‘attractive’ spectrum doesn’t give af, looks great and puts themselves together in a stylish way that the viewer can understand (can I get away with Teen Wolf?). A great side benefit from this step in the right direction is it’s a great way to make someone who is conventionally attractive insecure.

You want to be in the same style as the people in your area but the secret is you need to lead that style pack if you can -- you always lead and dress apex. Years ago this was anecdotal but after over 100K hours in real estate a good suite (tailored) saved my ass and literally got me business. I listed the largest house in east Austin because of a suit (and got a front page story on the newspaper real estate section for free because the owner saw me walking into the next door neighbor’s house).

Offices, dress, logo, email signature are all elements of you and your brokerage’s style. Style in and of itself isn’t enough to be a top producer in real estate. I’ve had stylish and even celebrity agents that didn't do zilch, but style often is a fingerprint to something more.

Picking the right elements for your agent style is an art because you have to offer something from yourself that’s unique enough as well as something familiar (a bridge to your uniqueness). I have a background as a musician and also as a merchant sailor. Fortunately those are easy convo starters. You could be a philatelist and have some challenges, but regardless it absolutely will take a year or three to develop your own angle and style towards the market as you learn it and the agent role more.

Things that look attractive and familiar puts client’s psychologies at ease. So, if skinny jeans are in you better get in them (that’s like five years old now). You’re on stage. You don’t wear what the worker people behind the camera wear. If you want to wear boring shit get on the other side of the camera. If you want less leads saddle up to a forgettable brokerage. People have hard days. They want you to put an effort into your real estate agency role. Currently it’s a fried role so you’re dealing with that too. People love to be smiled at and sold and especially from someone who smells good. It doesn't ever get old. Don’t make them beg for your charm. Be a nice charming person with a shirt that fits good, it’s a powerful combo.

Get My Damn Paper

If you’ve never seen a werewolf in daylight mess with an agent’s commission after the deal’s done and funded. Admin? Who is the damn person who does the admin? (accounts payable is the icey pro word if you like). That person that you contact to get your commission check cut? If that person is a weirdo, or there’s an unfriendly or sketchy quality to the office or admin staff, do not go forward (don’t confuse this with new people or industry jitters). Grab some free coffee, leave the smarm and jet to the next brokerage blind date.

Software

CRM is an annoying conversation. Here’s the things with CRM’s - for all the work CRMs curtail, because of their complexity and existence and the work(time) they take to interact with you need to consider how much work you’re putting into operating the CRM software verses how much time it’s saving. Many times brokerages have expensive yearly subscriptions with per agent fees for their CRM which can make the brokerage have a zealot meth thing for the ‘team’ software and promise you can’t have a career without taking a bump too. To understand CRM better before it was a name, Client Relationship Management is what analog Proximity became. Let me explain -  being close to people in Church, bar, school, same building -- all give proximity. This becomes familiarity, then ease, then trust. People do business with people they trust & like. Once people disconnected physically and started using other means more contact attempts have to be made to work for or ‘prove’ worth.

Follow Up is a large component of most CRM’s and there are gobs of money for agents who follow up meticulously. Simply ask the broker what CRM they use and research it. Something to remember - unless you’re extremely busy with your career you don’t need a CRM. You can manage & database your clients & leads ‘by hand’ and strap it to the cloud with G-Suite/Google Sheets.

Brokerage Name

A small but important aside, if a brokerage have named themselves after a precious metal or a gem, or if it says elite in the name then it’s not elite. If it has the words prestige or worldwide or international it may not be any of those either. I know a handful of exceptions to this rule but this is a great dirty primer to use when choosing a brokerage that’s going to propel your career and have shrimp options at the Christmas Party.

[biracialalistair]

expanding on what i'd said earlier: the kids of my generation, the first generation of internet natives, we were warned constantly about the dangers of the internet and against giving out our personal information online (ie, before the rise of social media)

there were whole modules and minigames centered around teaching internet safety. (does anyone remember that mickey mouse island one) we might have rolled our eyes at the time but i think that mindset of anonymity was well-warranted because there are. there really are. creeps and pedophiles out there fishing for kids.

i lucked out, that the friends i made in those early days were good adults that established boundaries and looked out for me/protected me, but i also owe some of that to the precautions that were normal for that time. no one knew my real name, i didn't publicize my age beyond letting people know i was young, i CERTAINLY didn't give any location info. "plum" was a persona i created on the neopets forums, a separate entity from "jess" that became a whole person in some ways, as i migrated from platform to platform (ffn, ao3, various forums, and eventually tumblr). and if i ever did let any identifying info slip, the good adults were quick to remind me to keep it private.

now that i'm in my 20's i feel safe enough to let my internet persona and my personal life bleed into each other. (posting a selfie for the first time was terrifying, back in high school). however, i think this also owes to the rise in social media - platforms like insta, twitter, and fb encourage, are FOUNDED on, actually, people publicizing their personal lives. kids growing up in this era of internet sociality are pressured to make themselves known/public. and that's dangerous.

my whole long-winded testimony boils down to this: the internet has changed, and the way we use it has changed. but im really urging any minors that follow me to start separating your socials that are connected to your personal life (your insta or fb where you connect with IRL friends) and your purely internet spaces. there ARE dangerous people on the internet. they have not gone away, and if anything they're now even more emboldened by the turn in internet culture. at the risk of sounding like a mom please please please take steps to protect yourself. stay safe out there 💖

[shoeloading64]

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[theliterarywolf]

Just wanted to tell ya this: Remember like 2 or 3 months ago when i (an anon) commented on how non-English communities are free of drama? welp, i was dead wrong! i made the mistake of cheking out the latinamerican Vtuber community and there's nothing but drama every 6 seconds, like, it's filled with people constantly insulting others behind their backs and backstabbing. I then digged thru some more drama and found out that this sort of shit isn't exclusive of the new Vtuber community (1/3)

But also seems to happen with EVERY content creator, from Youtubers/Vloggers to admins on facebook pages (FB is still widley used in LatinAmerica btw). If i recall correctly, everything comes from a community called "Loquendo" which is a group of different ppl using a Vocaloid like voice modulator to make videos on anything, but it's mostly used on Criticism (AKA bashing on everything, specially on other "Loquenderos"). Ever since, bashing ppl became a passtime for any type of user (2/3) 

(3/3) On Spanish web communities. It's really sad seeing this type of shit happen specially since i was excited to see what the Vtuber community looked like around here only to find a Dumpster on fire filled with cheap Soap Opera's. STILL the only upside of this is that all drama seems to be focused around content creators rather that the content itself, AND all drama is apolitical, so there's no discourse about "appropiating Japanese culture" or any stupid Tumblr/Twitter shit like that.  

Oh no... Has Latin-American YouTube gotten to the ‘YouTubers using Voice-Modulators to post rant-videos’ stage? Ugh, I pity you guys, it took forever for Western YouTube to move on from that (it still happens, but it’s mostly seen as a joke. Seriously, when was the last time someone mentioned Foamy the Squirrel in an earnest manner)

That’s the unfortunate thing with a good portion of creativity-based YouTube, unfortunately. Seriously, look at the art commentary channel scene and take notice how many of said channels are nothing more than drama farms these days. And while sometimes it is good to learn about scummy shit going on (like the drama with that Antoons guy just being the worst kind of edgelord), other times its more ‘OMG, I heard from a friend of a friend of a popular Tik Tok account that such-and-such is majorly problematic. So, um... Go spam their inboxes with death threats, mmkay?’

I just wish we could confine that shit into one area of the internet so it wouldn’t spread. 

And, oh my God, why does it seem like there’s always someone trying to start drama where Vtubers are involved?

[k-r-a-s-o-t-aa]

sometimes i trick myself into thinking i like living in france then i remember that this country has no age of consent and literal pedophiles who rape 8 year olds are literary celebrities 

i cant wait to move to turkey and become a muslim like for real the west is too decadent i am DONE!! 

[joolshallie]

Finding mental health support at uni

Being at university or college can put a huge amount of pressure on you to perform optimally academically. This can cause a lot of people (including me!) to overwork, and eventually burnout. Other pressures of living alone (e.g. paying fees and rent) can contribute too, inducing new or worsening pre-existing mental health problems.

It is so important to reach out and find support at uni, a time when a lot of people are away from their family support-network for the first time. I’ve collated some resources and tips of ways you can reach out to get the support you deserve!

Friends as a support-network

This sounds obvious but your friends can be such a brilliant support-network!

Some people tend to withdraw or become isolated if their mental health is taking a hit. I always find that being with friends cheers me up and distracts me from academic stress (or any kind of stress honestly). 

Reaching out to friends doesn’t have to mean having deep chats with them about your current mental state - it can just be reaching out to have that few hours of distraction, while watching a movie, or a big laugh and face-masks - social interaction could be all you need a that moment. 

Having said that, it is so so important to have friends you can sit down with at uni (and at home) and talk openly about your mental health and how you’re doing. The worst thing to do is suppress how you are feeling.

Friends can be really good at rationalising your thoughts, telling you when you need to reach out to a professional, or just listening to you if that’s what you need!

Personal tutor or member of university staff

I have a personal tutor and know of a lot of mates at other unis that have this kind of system. This is the person I would personally go with if I was feeling pressured or that my mental health was taking a hit. 

If they are pastoral staff they will often be more prepared to deal with students coming to them with mental health problems, so may be better able to signpost than a ‘regular’ member of staff.

If you don’t have a personal tutor or designated pastoral staff then just reach out to the lecturer/seminar-leader you know the best and would feel most comfortable talking to. When reaching out for support it’s all about you being comfortable with making that first step.

If you are struggling with an academic aspect of a particular module then it might be worth going to the head of that module and talking to them about it. They may be very understanding and offer extensions on deadline to remove some of the time pressure - or they may volunteer their time or some other resources to help you in that area.

University-linked services

Universities will have their own counselling services. Depending on your university and your particular situation the wait time for this can be quite a while, but it is definitely worth reaching out - the earlier you do so, the sooner you’ll be seen!

My university has a peer-support and welfare-rep system, where students go on training courses to be peer-supporters and are available to talk to you, and to sign-post you to resources that may help.

This can be a lot less daunting than reaching out to a professional or a member of staff. It is also a lot easier with students as you can just drop them a message on fb rather than finding them if that is less intimidating.

GP and the NHS

It may seem obvious but it can be hard to make time or think about going to the GP during a busy term at uni, but it’s important to make sure you get registered with a surgery so you can go to them if something happens!

Waiting times for adult mental health services are long but they are free which is something we cannot take for granted! Going to your GP and asking for a referral to a specialist team may be a really good move.

Talking therapies and counselling are really helpful for some, but other people may need or respond better with medication. GPs are the only way to go if you think prescribed medication may benefit you (or has in the past).

Online resources and helplines

There are a huge number of online services and helplines (often anonymous) that provide support (short or long-term). This is a list of some although it’s definitely not exhaustive! If you know more then please let me know/add to this (esp. if you’re outside the UK)

Helplines partnership provides a directory of helplines (organised in different categories) 

The Samaritans provide a 24/7 helpline if you call: 116 123, website here

Nightline Association is a student-run service for students. Their volunteers contact people via text, calls, emails or in-person, website here

MIND are a great charity offering advice and support to those with mental health issues. There may be a local service near you, or call 0300 123 3393 (9am-6pm, Mon-Fri), website here

SANE is a mental illness and emotional wellbeing charity. Call their SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (4:30-10:30pm, everyday)

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): specifically aimed at men, call: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight, everyday), website here for their web-chat (7hrs/day, everyday, UK only)

Men’s health forum provides advice to men 24/7 through email, text or online web-chat, website here

HOPEline is run by PAPYRUS which is a charity aiming to prevent young suicide. Call 0800 068 4141 (10am-5pm & 7-10pm Mon-Fri; 2pm-5pm Sat-Sun), website here

The NHS has a list of mental health apps it recommends here

UMHAN (University Mental Health Advisers Network) is a national UK charity. There is a section on seeking support as well as options to get involved with fundraising.

BetterHelp is the largest global online counselling service. You answer some questions and it pairs you with a counsellor it thinks is appropriate. This is not free and so equates to getting a private counsellor here in the UK; you can contact them via video-chat, online messages or calls.

I hope this helps some of you reach out and find some more support if you need it! Remember that your mental health and wellbeing comes before academics or anything else!

[studylizziee]

Starting University

Having started uni last year, I can really relate to the anxieties/fears that people have towards the start of September. So I decided to make this post which is a compilation of tips and advice I’ve accumulated over my first year of university. I hope it’s helpful :)

What to bring

it’s a difficult thing to strike the right balance between bringing too much and too little, but my advice is to err on the side of too little, as you can always buy things you’ve missed once you arrive (the only exception imo being decorations for your room from home)

a doorstop is a must! when you’re moving in my literal number 1 tip is to have your door propped open virtually at all times - it makes such a difference because then people will just stop to have a chat, or wave and say hi as they go past, and it just sends a friendly vibe

things that will personalise your room and make it feel like your space. This was one of the biggest things that combated my homesickness, because I created a sort of safe space for myself. So for me this was cosy lighting with lots of lamps (I brought 2 in addition to the one my uni provided) and fairy lights, posters on the walls, books on the shelf, pictures of my friends, cushions and blankets, and lots of cute mugs 

in that vein, get some command strip hooks that you can stick onto the wall - I used small ones to put my fairy lights up and larger ones to hang my jackets on 

for posters and pictures for the wall, I used blu tack

keep the storage boxes that you use to move all your stuff in with (I put shoes in one, misc stuff in another), and drawer dividers are a really handy buy too (I used them to separate my underwear)

don’t forget important documents/ID like your passport and driving license. There’s usually quite a lot of admin when you first arrive so it’s important to have these kept safely with you

if you drink, bring some alcohol and a mixer you like for pres

a bumbag for nights out is pretty essential - it’ll keep your phone, ID, keys and money safe, as they’re difficult to steal from and far more secure than your pockets!

make sure you have a medicines bag stocked with paracetamol, plasters, antiseptic cream etc, because the last thing you want when you feel sick for the first time at uni is to have to go out and buy medicines

I brought earplugs because I like quiet when I’m trying to fall asleep, and halls of residence are not exactly known for that.. also, walls are thin

there are nowhere near enough coat hangers provided, so bring some from home

I also 100% recommend taking a bike to uni! I cycle everywhere around campus because it’s faster and good exercise, and I also sometimes cycle into town rather than getting the bus (& if you bring a bike, bring a helmet, front and back bike lights, and a D-lock! They’re worth investing in I promise)

lastly, I recommend that the first thing you do when moving in is to do a big food shop! I arrived on a Friday night and planned for my parents to take me food shopping on the Saturday, but I forgot I needed something to eat for dinner on Friday and ended up having a freebie pot noodle that was in my room...

What not to bring

shared items like a kettle, toaster, toastie maker, blender etc (until you’ve communicated with your flatmates)

before I came to uni, in august I think, a few of my flatmates and I made a group chat on facebook (unis normally make a fb page with your halls of residence and you can find your flatmates from there), and sorted out who’d bring shared items. It was really helpful because the last thing you want is 5 kettles taking up loads of space in the kitchen! 

if you’re not able to/don’t want to message your flatmates before arriving at uni, I still wouldn’t bring these items as you can buy them once you’re there if no one else has them (which is pretty unlikely)

a bin and desk chair - they’re provided

too many clothes/shoes: I know it feels like you’re going away for a really long time but try to think realistically about how many things you’ll actually wear. Instead focus on making sure you have lots of layers, and clothes for all weather possibilities

an iron - I literally never ironed once while at uni - and yes, that’s as a person whose course requires me to go on placements and look formal fairly regularly 

unless you’re an avid baker I wouldn’t bring baking equipment like scales/mixing bowl etc. I only had a measuring jug and a roasting tin, which was enough to make cookies ;)

Freshers

Ah, freshers. The most over-hyped week(s) in existence. As an introvert, it was an exhausting period of time for me. Although I had fun meeting people and at the events I went to, it left me drained, and I also felt pretty anxious a lot of the time, especially during the first week. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy the whole freshers experience because it was, frankly, pretty overwhelming. Just remember that freshers is not at all representative of the rest of your uni experience, and it’s okay if you don’t love it.

Meeting people/making friends

I was equally excited and nervous when I moved in, and I was particularly worried, as most people are, about making friends. The first thing to say is that everyone’s in the same boat. Everyone is anxious to be sociable and make friends, especially during freshers, so make the most of this time to start conversations and get chatting with people. Although don’t feel you need to make long-lasting friendships during freshers - often people find that their uni friends aren’t the people that they hung out with in freshers.

Don’t feel pressured to go to loads of parties/nights out if it’s not your scene; there are other ways of meeting people, the biggest one being societies. My biggest regret from first year is that I didn’t try enough societies - I did choir and went to one netball training session (rip) because I thought I didn’t have time for anything else. I wish I’d taken up more opportunities and tried more things, because it’s such a great way of meeting like-minded people (and people from other courses)! 

When to leave your parents

This is a difficult one, and I know this was one of the things causing me the most anxiety. I’d read somewhere that you should just say bye to your parents when they drop you off and get on with it, because you have to grow up now. The truth is, everyone is different and needs a different amount of time in order to say goodbye. For me, my parents helped me move in on the Friday, and stayed the night at a hotel while I went on my first night of freshers, a pub crawl. The next day they helped me with my food shop/buying other things I needed before they left in the afternoon. I know both people who spent the whole first weekend with their parents, not coming to any freshers events, and people who said goodbye the minute they walked into their flat. Neither choice is right or wrong - just think about what’s best for you. I knew I needed a bit more time but simultaneously wanted to be part of the big first night, and I found a happy compromise for me.

Dealing with homesickness

I was really homesick for, I’d say, the first 2 weeks. One of my big mistakes was that my dad came up a week after I’d moved in to bring my bike (don’t regret that bit, my bike is great), and it was actually more difficult saying bye that time around. It was wayy too soon. My advice is:

give it a bit of time before you see your family

facetime/call home regularly to start off with, and over time it will naturally become less often. For the first week, I facetimed my parents every night, and after that it was every 2-3 days, and by the end it was every one or two weeks

get busy! the absolute worst thing you can do is isolate yourself in your room doing nothing, because it gives you too much time to overthink. Especially for the first few weeks, keep yourself busy and take advantage of all the events on offer

Things to make sure you do during the first week or so:

Even though freshers is super busy, it’s important to make time to do some bits of admin

Register at your university’s GP/health centre

Find out where the student support service is/the telephone number you can reach them on

Get a phone number for maintenance of halls because you never know when something might go wrong (on literally my first night the shower didn’t work)

Find the library, cheapest food shop, launderette, and explore campus

The academic jump

The jump from school to university can be quite a considerable one. It’s not only harder content, but also a different way of learning from what you’re used to in school, with much more reliance on independent study. Don’t worry too much about the first term, because that tends to be a sort of re-cap where they bring everyone onto the same page. Use that time when the content is not as difficult to 1) have fun and do lots of non-academic things, and 2) attempt to develop your style of learning. People underestimate sometimes the fact that you have to learn how to learn. So try different things and see what works for you, so that by the time you start the ‘real work’ you’ll be a bit more prepared. Tips:

have a system - by second term I decided that my system was to make a summary, somewhat condensed document of notes for each week, which I filed in folders for each module. This works for my course, but what the system is doesn’t matter - the most important thing is to have a tangible goal of independent work (usually notes) that you want to achieve 

keep on top of things - I was sooo bad at this in first year, and have resolved to change things next year... I would do my set work for the week, but I didn’t do my weekly summary notes until the end of term and it was a mad rush. It would have saved me so much pain to do it as I went along

pay attention to feedback and learn from your mistakes

lecturers are an amazing resource and they love their subject, so if you have a question ask them! (either in person after a lecture/seminar or if that’s too much send an email)

make friends with your coursemates - you’re all in it together and it’s amazing how much you can learn from each other

BACK YOUR WORK UP! it doesn’t matter if it’s an external hard drive, dropbox or google drive as long as it’s somewhere! 

Cooking/Food

bring recipes or a cookbook - these are pretty essential for when you’ve run out of ideas (or if you haven’t done much cooking before!). My friend got me ‘The Hungry Student Vegetarian Cookbook’ which was great, as is ‘The Green Roasting Tin’. I especially loved the concept of the latter because it’s so simple - put everything in a roasting tin and bang it in the oven

cook in bulk! this is my number 1 tip. Put whatever you don’t eat in tupperware containers and freeze it - then, as my flatmate said, you have prepared your very own ready meals

most people have heard of the ‘fresher five’ (5kg put on in first year), but this can so be avoided by making sure you have your 5 a day, not having takeaways too often, and not overdoing it with alcohol

as I said, don’t get takeaways too often - it’s tempting, I know, but they’re mega expensive so you’re better off saving it either for when they’ve got a really good deal on, or as a special treat

consider eating less meat - any meat of a good quality is far more expensive than vegetables are! I’m vegetarian and slowly becoming more plant-based as I cut out dairy, and among its other benefits it’s so much cheaper

making meal plans can be really useful - you don’t have to have an elaborate chart, but when you do your weekly food shop, plan what you’re going to eat during the week. This also helps reduce your food waste

freeze your bread! I got this tip from @muststudy, who has a great post on cooking tips linked below, but this is such a good idea to stop your loaf going mouldy before you can eat it

cook with your flatmates/friends - around dinnertime was by far the most social time in my flat, as we all congregated in the kitchen to cook and have a chat. If you have similar tastes to a flatmate, consider shared cooking! My friend and I virtually took it in turns to cook for each other, or we’d cook a shared meal together, and it made what can become a chore a fun thing to do

General

There can be a pressure for uni to be ‘the best years of your life’, and to be having a great time 24/7. It might be like that for you, but don’t worry if it’s not - it’s perfectly normal to feel sad or lonely at times. I definitely did. If you feel that way, reach out to people and don’t keep things bottled up. Try to make the most of opportunities, and enjoy this exciting and novel period of time in your life :)

Useful posts / websites:

Budgeting: how to manage your money at university by The Complete University Guide

Cooking: essential cooking tips for uni students by @muststudy 

tips for starting university by @quilavastudy 

tips for freshers week by @dxmedstudent 

What to bring to university checklists: one, two, three 

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 4

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day91: I can’t post photos to the sister photo diary and it’s fucking me off. Using this as a place holder- last successful pic was 21/06/2020.

Day 92: Still awaiting Tumblr re: day 91′s entry. Meanwhile looking at other blog/diary sites. Very warm today, like it was throughout May. Boris announced a further relaxation in lockdown measures which includes reducing the 2m distancing instruction which paves the way for pubs, restaurants and other places to open on 4th  . It looks like the Ship will open 6th July, George on the 4th. I await to see the measures put in place before deciding whther it’s a goer.

Day93: Typing on day 94 - I received an email from Deryn from RCI HR concerning placement online module attendance, thanking me for my participation. I was somewhat confused. Was this a mistake or was I erroneously not icluded in the initial communications? I fired off an email to HR and WhatsApp’d Jim. He replied that I should take it up with HR.

I am worried by this. Furlough ends this week and I know not what the fuck is going on.

Day 94: Had a few beers last night, ‘cos I was feeling deflated over work. Finished Homecoming S2, which was very good, and cancelled Amazon Prime before the free trial ends tomorrow. Got up @midday but haven’t done jack shit today as my right ankle is playing up - it was twinging last night - apart from press ups. No word back from RCI but there was a notification that the email from Deryn was attempted to be recalled. Had a spat in Co-Op wth two lads who were ignoring the one way system and social-distancing. It makes my blood boil and I had to say something which ended up making my blood boil even more…especially as one of them asked me to ‘crack on’. It’s a pretty cool response actually, since I had them bang to rights but, at the time, I thought I was going to bust a blood vessel. I walked away having told him to not speak to me like that again and that he was a fucking arsehole! Didn’t make me feel any better though. Fog’s chatting later so I’m going to have a few beers right now (just gone 8pm) - I feel like throwing caution to the wind for some reason (probably work more than anything else).

Day 95: Typing on Day 96. I had a lot of beers with Fog the night before last and felt like shit all day yesterday. Still managed to drag myself up to Foggy’s and have socially distanced beers in his garden with Noel and Lord Irish of Michael.

Day 96: Feeling like shit. Third day of no walking ‘cos my ankle is a little sore although I did walk back from Foggy’s last night.

Day 97: Two walks and my usual stair climb today. Felt good to get back to routine. Plus, no booze yesterday, even tho’ it was a Saturday, feel better for it. I heard from Sue Cockings from HR on Friday, btw, still furloughed until further notice.

Day 98: I discovered, yesterday, that today is actually day 99 of lockdown since it actually begun on the Sunday evening that Boris Johnson announced the measures being in place - I mistakenly thought it began on the Monday. Tumblr still haven’t got back to me regarding reviewing why this blog is deemed ‘sensitive’ and I can’t add any more pics. While I am typing, Northampton are beating Exeter 0-2 at Wembley in the L2 play-off final. It’s funny that their fans can’t be there to see it. Football, in general, on its return after lockdown, without fans in attendance, is shit - like watching women’s football - too many empty seats.

Day 100: I have decided to number the days correctly (See prev’ entry). It’s a good time as I had to export , delete and recreate this blog on Tumblr since they have been non-forthcoming in my request for info as to why they deemed it ‘sensitive’. So, this is a restart, altrough seemless to the reader. On top of all that, I am writing this on Day 101! After restarting the blog diary I forgot to add the day’s entry! Bumped into Roger on my second walk, at the top of Basset Ford Place. We chatted for an hour or so. It was really good to see him and talk. We’ve made a promise to interact more...it seems both he and I allow ourselves to get down in the dumps (easy in self-isolation) and, as such, we shall try to reach out as and when. He suggested a walk together every now and then.

Day 101: I heard back from a charitable services company that Barry Haddon (who, coincidentally, I spoke with today) told me about (Auriga)and answered their email questions. BNarry rates them and told me they got him some decent results like he no longer has to pay Council Tax. I tweeted Chris Hawkes on Radio 6 this morning...he was asking for examples of sames names (’cos he had Dave Gorman on) so I told him about The Redlion and the ad the ‘other’ Tim put in the ET. He read it out! I created a photo album of 101 pics I’ve taken in lockdown and put it on FB including the Oundle Chatter group. The comments were great. My right eyesight is worrying, I cannot make out close up detail i.e. reading is blurred. I am going to start doing 10 press ups after each exercise i.e. three times a day. I decided that during my second walk so today I’ve done 20. Lastly, I have new neighbours I do believe. Hmmm.

Day 102: Emailed dad and Rita to have a rant about what dad thought of the Leicester lockdown and to share a link to my 101 photo album. Had a long Messenger chat with Rog.

Day 103: Typing this on day 104. Dad called when I was out ona  walk so we skyped when I got back. He looks really well! Advided me on how to cutt some branches that are hanging low (I asked him in the email yesterday). I then borrowed a saw, secateurs and green bin from Karen. I walked a long way today. My second walk was 9km.I then had loads of beers! The Co-Op car park seems to be the venue for youngsters to hang out. I was gone 2am before they finished partying. I (re)watched Steve Jobs. Wow....just wow. What a film and what a man!

Day 104: It was gone 1:30pm when I got up feeling the worse for wear. A chilli, chorizo and cheese omelette really sorted me out but no beer tonight. How my Saturday frame of mind has changed from just a few years ago. Elliot and Camilla dropped off a jar of japaenos (that Mil had WhatsApp’d me about) and, among other things, we chatted about a photo Tracie Garrett circulated featuring Ell, me her and a few others who met up to have a drink at The Haycock for Ron Gambling. In it was Cath and someone called Ross (who I don’t remember) who have both passed since the pic (July ‘99). I feel strangely saddened by it all. The pic itself is such a reminder of days past - it conjours up shit loads of different feelings.

Day 105: A few beers again last night so another late one (5ish) but up before noon. Finished watching a series called Condor. Pretty good - bit of a messy ending that is the norm with telly nowadays in that it is a little bit of a cliffhanger.

Day 106: The Ship reopened today. I left a nice message on the Virtual Pub group page wishing them the best plus said thanks to Rach. I think it will be the end of the laugh we’ve had on the virtual site now. I expect to go through a bit of a miserabel time with people now venturing out down the pubs.We were once all united in lockdown - that will no longer be the case. Met Rog for a walk - did over 7km oncluding through Barnwell Picnic Park - I don’t remember it being that pretty. defo going to go there again. Got an email from RCI asking for all furlough workers to join a Zoom meeting tomorrow with Paul (MD) and Deryn (HR). Ominous! Went shopping in Asda and Farm Foods. £100 with NO BOOZE!

Day 107: The zoom call today didn’t tell me much other than we are being furloughed still, until further notice. It was susggested that we have a zoom meeting every 2 weeks and that RCI recognise we’ve be left out in the cold somewhat. I appreciate that very much.There were 30 of us on the call plus Paul and Deryn were in the office since they had to make peopel redundant today. Mark was in the office earlier to take receivership of the IT kits from those that left.

Day 108: I am well on the way to doing 1,000,000 steps in theree months (July, August & September) but at what cost. I’ve done well over 11,000 steps each day in July (actually, a lot of days in June as well) apart from one (8k) and I am feeling it. My right leg/ankle is sore! Day 109: I had another mention by Chris Hawkins on Radio 6. He asked for Brian May moments - apparently when he met Brian May he was so starstruck that all he could say was ‘thank you for the music’. I tweeted my story of telling Felicity Kendall to have a good life. Today, both my walks have resulted in me getting fucking soaked. Hanna S2 is on Amazon Prime. Time for yet another free trial (number 4 or 5).

Day 110: I have walked 144,448 steps in 10 days, well on the way to a million steps in three months. The Heist of the Century - an Argentinian film based on true events - watched it last night (well, over two nights, actually). A real life Ocean’s Eleven (but with 6). Brilliant film, brilliat story. I had issues signing up to another Amazon Prime free trial last night so I set up another gmail a/c just now and I think I’m in. I used Danny’s Gmail (which I created over 15 years ago!) and it didn’t like it - I think I must have used it before. I reckon I have probably had loads more free trials than I care to remember. Anyway, off to watch me some Hanna!

Day 111: Very tired as I type. Bed at around 5am, up at 13:30, normal exercises, cleaning kitchen cupbaords and I’m done in. It’s 10:30pm now, just cracked open a beer and about to watch a new Netflix film “The Old Guard”. I would continue with Hanna but Amazon Prime keeps fucking erroring. I will try to go to bed before it gets light (which seems to be my w/e norm nowadays!

Day 112: I have got into the habit of eating dinner far too late. It’s 10:30pm as I type and I am just about to have something eat. I’m not sure why I feel it’s wrong to eat so late but I do, I shall be trying to address it. Late night again last night (gone 4:30am) so today was a lazy day. Only on ewalk but it was 10km and I get up the above 11,000 steps needed for the 1m challenge. My stair climb, at around 9pm, fucking killed.

Day 113: Boring Monday.

Finished watching The Old Guard on Netflix. A Highlander-esque affair with Charlize Theron kicking ass like she did in Atomic Blonde. It was OK. Haven’t manage to lick the late night eating. It’s 10:05pm and tea’s still cooking.

Day 114: I have been looking at planning persmissions on the ENDC site for questions posed on the Oundle Chatter group on FB. There’s going to be two sites with 130 new houses on each and it’s causing concern. And so it should - the planning docs are very revealing. Objections are dismissed in such an off-hand way. It’s really quite insulting. I was awfully down today, during my first walk. I mean, really despondant (too difficult to describe here), which is a lower version of the norm - it’s been a good couple of weeks since anyone’s even asked how I am! A week since that post on my main blog. But, I powered through and am back to the usual depth! I ate at @9:30 pm tonight. Told ya!

Day 115: I am typing this on Day 116 - I ended up hainga  couple of beers last night and forgot to post. I had the most ridiculous toing and froing on FB and Messenger with Rachel (Harris) - it was piss funny. She is the first person in days, actually weeks, who has asked how I am! I watched ep3 of Hanna S2. Absolutely superb. She kills Marissa! Did not see that fucker coming...mind blown! Day 116: I have finally finished the thorough clean of the kitchen. Fucking drama. I am typing at just gone 10pm, about to eat (curry I made yesterday). It’s been a strange day, timings wise, last night’s drinking meant I wasn’t up until just gone noon which obviously didn’t help. I had a call from DSM group - I applied for an IT tech role, they want to see me tomorrow (Friday) for an interview (in Sibson). Interesting! (Although the contact, Helen, hasn’t sent the promised email!)

Day 117: Despite not getting a confirmation email, I attended the interview at DSM. It went OK (I was there for 90 mins). I went booze shopping in Tesco’s afterwards. Spoke to dad today also - he and Rita are well, as usual! I am feeling really knackered and achy today. I do hope it’s not anything to worry about.

Day 118: Up at 1pm. 9.79 km walk. Cooking meatballs, drinking beer, listening to The Blaze about to watch Deepwater Horizon. All good today!

Day 119: Similar to yesterday, up late, bloody long walk, watching Saving Private Ryan (which I started last night).

Day 120: Typing on day 121. Received an email from someone that works at the BBC for Shaun Keaveny’s show - they want me to do small claims court on August 5th. I’m becoming obsessed with getting my steps in - my second walk was extended to round Barnwell Country Park - over 17.5k steps - not the most I’ve done in one day but, for example, most in one day last month (June) was 14.7k. More importantly, I am finding that I can walk further (and for longer) and not have a hypo; not a great deal further, but over an hour.

[azuldemontana]

Module 7 collaboration blog post!

This week we’re doing a collaboration post on the Module 7 activates. Make sure to head over and check out Louis blog!

Modern Encryption Standards

Cipher text 1 & 5: These two both have to be an ECB, we noticed that if we put in two identical 16 bit blocks, the output would result in two identical hashes. This is due to the fact that ECB does not use previously encrypted data to increase confusion. 

Cipher text 2: For this one, we noticed that, unlike the other ciphers, no. 2 increased in length with the plain text. We realized that for however many characters we had in plain text, there were double that in the cipher text. This implies that it must be a CTR encryption method, that uses an incrementing counter combined nonce which is used to encrypt one character at a time. 

Cipher text 3 & 4: For these two, we can conclude that they are using CBC as consecutive blocks are not identical to their previous blocks due to the previous block being used to encrypt rather than the same key being used each time. 

Social Engineering with email Phishing

Reconnaissance: 

From Sarah's Instagram gives us quite a bit of information:

Child’s DOB: 2/12/14 (Bday referred to twice)

Mark nearly passed out in theater (Mark = Husband?)

Husbands birthday on 4/06

Dogs names (Bella, Jessie, Max(Sarah's fav), Jasper( Also Sarah’s fav = begal), Stella)

Sarah likes summer

Childs name = James

sarah.jenkins0583 (may 1983 = bday?)

Puppy love website:

David enjoys micro-brewing

Looks after dogs (Angela and Jessie, black pugs)

Sarah works in office, most likely manages FB page

Attack: 

Sarah isn’t very clued on Security wise, she sent back the Facebook credentials with our first attempt.

Getting the payment made was a little bit harder. David is a pretty simple minded man, so we found the best approach was to not use long sentences and just get straight to the point.

So it looks like David is strange kind of ‘human’ that will pay money if you include the key words “david” “payment” and “urgent”.

Knowledge Based Authentication 

This game was actually pretty fun... And kinda hard as well. Louis started as the ‘attacker’ and asked me questions and I tried to guess when he asked me a  Phishing question. The game went like this:

A: What is your proudest accomplishment? - I jumped the gun a bit here and immediately guessed this was a phishing question, and so lost on the first question. In hindsight this isn’t a ‘malicious’ question as a proudest moment normally wont be a single word answer, in most cases the answer to this question will involve some kind of story. So it doesn’t make sense for this to be a knowledge based authentication question. Yet in my defense, it could lead to the attack gaining information about you.

A: What’s the best single day on the calendar? - I proved I’m not very good at this game when I said this was also a phishing question... It’s not. It looks like it is, as often people use birthdays included in their passwords. Had Louis asked “what is your date of birth?” this may have been a phishing question.

A: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? - Thinking I had the hung of things, and not wanting to loose again, I guessed this was NOT a phishing question and told Louis that I wanted to be a fire fighter when I grew up. Thinking about it now, this was some crucial information I just gave and defiantly could be asked during knowledge based authentication.

Which! Now I tried to redeem myself and see if I could trick Louis into answering some phishing questions.

A: What is something that is considered a luxury, that you don’t think you could live without? - I started with a safe question to gain some trust before I started trying to get some useful information. Louis wasn’t suspicious of this one and answered the question to no consequences.

A: Where is the most interesting place you’ve been? - I hoped this one would fool Louis. We often use important locations in passwords, and some message authentication questions ask things along the lines of “Where was your first holiday?” (Looking at you CentreLink). However, Louis answered this with no consequences. The word interesting isn’t specific enough and isn’t likely to be used in a knowledge based authentication question.

A: What was the make and model of the car you learnt to drive in? - CentreLinks questions are appearing twice in this post now, this one is an obvious phishing question. So I started with a warm up question “do you drive?”, which Louis answered and told me that yes he did. Thinking I had gained his trust I then replied with “Oh cool, what car do you drive?”. But to no avail, Louis saw through my attempt and called out this question.

A: What city or town were you born? - Another malicious question, and I’m sure most of you can remember being asked something similar, maybe like “which country did you grow up?”, so Louis didn’t fall for this one either.

So it’s pretty clear that I’m not the best at getting OR protecting my information. Defiantly something to practice!! GG Louis.

Trump Phishing

Dear Commander and Chief Donal Trump,

I am emailing on behalf of the United States Department of Defense. We have recently discovered a major vulnerability in the official military communications systems that could lead to major consequences if left untreated.

It is vital that you provide us with the footballs launch codes immediately so we can detect if they have been compromised.

To do so, please encrypt them using our military grade encryption called 7zip, compress the file. Once it is encrypted, upload it from your own device to the following link.

www.securesafewebsite.ir.com

If you need assistance, please contact us.

Regards,

United States Department of Defense