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angel-of-hunky-doryness · 1 year ago

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The Conflicts of Disney's Hercules (Part 2): Hercules vs Hades

Or as I like to call it: why Hercules and Hades are the best example of a literary foil muddled and lost in its own movie.

LONG POST, sorry not sorry.

The hero vs villain dynamic is a Disney staple inspired by the many fairy tales and folklore from which Disney has long based their movies on. However, this dynamic went through a glow-up when Disney started their Renaissance period kicking off with The Little Mermaid (1989).

This era of Disney brought in much more personality and character to their protagonists, but also bringing in a new type of villain. Now this was a sharp departure from your atypical evil stepmothers and wicked villainesses that Disney was known from in their early days.

That's why when Disney decided to adapt Hercules (1997) the writers needed a formidable foe for Hercules to throws hands with to fit in to this new era where you had the likes of Ariel vs Ursula, Aladdin vs Jafar, Simba vs Scar, etc.

And in the Renaissance, Disney started leaning more into their Shakespearean influences. Nowhere is this more evident then Lion King (1994) and to a lesser extent- based on deleted scenes, the broadway version, and live action remake- Little Mermaid.

The reason I'm bringing this up is b/c, my dear reader, now we're getting to the Evil Uncle Trope.

Or at least a failed execution of it, b/c Disney did not utilize it well in Hercules. It's just barely touched upon.

Yes, yes, I know who the real villain is in the original myth of Herakles and that could be a reason it doesn't work. But Herakles vs Hera doesn't work well on paper when you remember that Herk was the affair baby and Hera is actively trying to smite him and this is a film meant for children. And something, something, she doesn't carry the kind of raw emo goth energy a walking-talking Bunsen burner can provide.

Jokes aside and the accuracy of the Greek Mythology presented, I think Disney Hercules was adapted well to a modern audience.

HOWEVER!

Now I've made it no secret in the past that I don't really view this hero/villain pair as the central conflict of Disney's Hercules.

That is mostly because whatever antagonism Hades and Hercules had going on it's very one-sided, and almost surface-level. Hades is over here having the biggest blow to his ego with a little bit of existential crisis thrown in for good measure.

While Hercules is absolutely vibing to the Muses singing the greatest mind-melting musical number of the film.

Not once do we get a character moment where this corn-fed farm boy ever stops to think, "Hey, Phil, I know Thebes is a bad place and all, but where do these mildly inconveniencing monsters keep coming from?"

In all two of his interactions with Hades(I'm not counting the opening scene, Hercules is a baby, fight me), Hercules never realizes in the entire movie how he was wronged by this tall glass of daddy issues.

Which are:

Flambe man kidnapped Baby

Lil sun spot is mortal now for plot relevance or smth

Attempted murder via the goon squad

Monsters keep coming out of nowhere after Herc saves the sassy lady from the Centaur(TM).

And Hades, to his credit, really doesn't care enough to tell him.

Why?

Because it literally never bothered Hercules. Hades is the obligatory monster of the week to Wonder breath. That kind of revelation wouldn't bother him, Hercules doesn't even know there's a prophecy about him. Hecc, home boy barely struggles with the Titans at the climax.

This is basically the Wanda-Thanos meme but the roles are reversed.

And I would like to emphasize, Hercules isn't bothered by the monsters Hades sends at all. He gets over it fairly quickly once he gets over his first battle jitters. If anything, the biggest issue Hercules is facing post-Hydra is that even though society has finally embraced him for his strength, he's still extremely lonely.

Which leads to this pivotal moment in the film:

What is the point?

He's still a freak, but this time after years of training he's finally useful. My pal Rudolph the Red-nose reindeer understands this predicament rather well. And the loneliness that Hercules feels b/c of his superhuman abilities is such a fascinating angle the writers of Disney Hercules go with that isn't emphasized enough.

And I can't stress this enough: The internal war Hercules grapples with, of being caught between two worlds, struggling with something he was born with and of doing everything in his power to fit into both of these worlds? Now that makes for a compelling demigod.

What's more, the strange shift in how society view his strength is such a interesting element that could have made a better antagonist than Hades was and I bet if this movie was made in this new era of Disney films (2015-Present) it would've executed it with this premise in mind. Since Disney has moved away from mustache-twirling villains and focusing on things like generational trauma and internal issues.

The fear and scorn Hercules once felt is now being turned to adoration, but wait, that's not what he wanted!

He just wanted to be treated like a person.

Take the discus scene, Hercules tries to play frisbee with the other teens in his neighborhood, but he immediately gets told to buzz off.

His goal of reaching Olympus isn't to reunite with his real family it's to finally be around others who are just as powerful as him, somewhere he wouldn't be out of place.

And the funny part about all of this is how well it ties in to Hades. Because Hercules upholding his duty as a hero is essentially what Hades did in his respective career until the moment he had his very own What's the point? moment.

Now first and foremost, I'm here to say Hades did his job. Regardless of how respectfully he did that in his later years....

No zombie apocalypses as far as I can tell, so kudos to you babe.

And that kind of job isolated him pretty badly when you consider Hades is with the dead instead of the other gods, almost making Hercules' dream the same as Hades'. However that dream has long since distorted and twisted from centuries of bitterness and anger.

Which adds another layer to their similarities. The dedication they had for their jobs isolated them even further.

And funnily enough, Hades and Herc were both assigned to this task by Zeus.

Now that we've established how similar H&H are let's see if we can glean how it played out for Hades by looking at Hercules' beginning. Hercules started out with so much determination and hope as can be seen in I Can Go the Distance (reprise). And as we follow Hercules to seek a teacher, to undergo years of training, and to follow through with all that he had been taught, Hercules never lost hope that he would finally be with people like him.

Well that is until Hercules' talk with Zeus.

And we learn Hercules has been putting himself through tons of risks and labors for nothing...?

He could've accomplished being a true hero back in his old farm town, and before you argue Zeus never explicitly told him to walk the path of a hero- then why did he send him to Danny DeVito???

And I'd like to make it clear I adore that Herc is being told off by his dad. Being Superman in Metropolis can go to one's head at his age especially now that he has proven time and time again how useful his strength is. Hubris is a major character flaw associated with greek mythology even if it isn't the flaw Herakles has in myth, keep this in mind for later as I explain what his flaw really is and how we see instances of it in the Disney film.

With that kind of journey mapped out, I bet about two drachmas and my 4 pound sponsor that Hades did the same as Herc. And as a result invested too much in his job for him to realize that he became disconnected to Olympus as a result.

Yeah, okay this is more conjecture and veering into fanfiction territory here and since I've been writing a fanfic on this guy for the past 6 years I tend to do that w/o meaning to. So if I ever start being a little too sympathetic on Mr. Brimstone Breath over there, take it with a grain of salt.

However, it is my personal headcanon since Hades did help Zeus in the original Titanomachy that my mans became extremely distant in his attempt to become a feared and respected god of the underworld.

And that came with its own reputation as mentioned in Gospel Truth Part II. Hades can get one-track minded and that applies very well to Hercules too.

So in the end, everything Herc and Hades were doing wasn't getting them any closer to what they really wanted: social acceptance.

And this was a big thing in Ancient Greece. The worst punishment a person could receive in those times was being exiled. Outcast. Permanent hermitage.

Let that sink in.

It can be argued that Hades always vied for Zeus' position, but I personally believe he did so because every other attempt he's made to change his circumstances after his What's the Point moment he kept hitting a road block either from Zeus or his arrogance to continue ruling a kingdom even if it isn't the underworld. Until he basically reasons, yup gotta take down the resident thunder dunder head.

And I think it's this factor of loneliness that both these guys share that really exemplifies or differentiates why each one is a great foil to each other. Hades is the dark reflection of what Hercules could be if he continued to toil after godhood/accepted into Mount Olympus to no avail for years and years and years.

It's a very similar trope we see in Kung Fu Panda with Tai Lung vs Po. And where Zeus fits into the role of Shifu.

Remember, both these two were serving their people, but Hades has been around far longer. After centuries, Hades grew sick and tired of serving ppl for basically nothing so he decided to put all his anger and frustration to force the world to bend to him instead.

But this is all hidden in between the lines so it doesn't hit home to the audience unless you take a deeper look into these two characters.

And all that I've talked about above is not even what we see in the film.

So, let's talk about what we do see.

Exhibit Alpha: All Hades Breaks Loose

As always, Hades is a showstopper. Don't tell him that btw he doesn't deserve it.

After executing a perfect 9.8/10 gymnastic spectacle, Hades shows up ready to pounce and do what he does best: Wheel and Deal with a trick ace up his sleeve.

It's so funny seeing Hercules talk to this guy, b/c he just had a falling out with his mentor and he's absolutely not in the mood to talk to this fast-talking flame head.

And Hades was ready to mop the floor with the guy, but b/c he can't get Wonder Bread's attention he has to whip out Meg a lot faster then he wanted to. He couldn't even savor the moment- it's like wasting a fine cigar.

But Hades doesn't skip a beat and like any mob boss, snaps his fingers, does a bit of blackmailing, and my beautiful boy catches on that if he loses his powers for 24 hours- talk about the confidence on Hades' part here- ppl will get hurt.

Hades, naturally, assures him things will be fine. I mean it's not like they're living in Greek mythology or anything. And after all, Hades assures him, Meg will be safe from harm.

They even shake on it. With left hands.....

And as soon as the two break apart, Hades doesn't hold back on telling his nephew how badly he screwed up.

Leave it to your estranged uncle to sucker you into a terrible deal and then outline why that was the worst mistake of your lifetime. Grade A uncle-ing I say. Wonder if he learned that from centuries of putting up with Zeus' offspring.

And while I have discussed this scene before in Meg vs Hades, we see here the same betrayal Meg had gone through with her ex, but now Meg is taking on the role of her ex. So let's look at it from Herc's perspective.

Anyone else feel their heart breaking when Hercules accuses Hades of lying????

But this is what makes the scene for me:

Despite everything, Hercules still chooses to fight.

You can really see the strength of Hercules' character here. Cuz despite his stupid decision, he still bares the weight of his responsibility even without his god-like strength.

Hercules faces the Cyclops as a normie. Hades would never.

This is the moment where Hercules rises above Hades in humility and upholds his duty despite the odds against him. This moment cements Hercules as a hero.

Finally the cycle of similarities is broken by Hercules' unselfish act. And it should've been in my opinion the moment he gained godhood and not the one below:

Yes, I know how important it is for Meg's redemption and to show how pure and true their relationship is. They're my emotional support OTP, okay, but what's more compelling?

Hercules being saved by the woman who just betrayed him, or Hercules risking his life to save the city of Thebes now that he's just like everybody else? He doesn't have his plot armor anymore, he's facing a giant that's already going ham destroying the populace while everyone is trying to escape. Isn't that true hero material? To stand and face the threat and buy the people time to escape?

But I digress.

And oh man, when Meg gets crushed we see a side of Hercules that was hinted at after Phil called out Meg for being a fraud:

We see Hercules' flaw.

In fact, the same flaw that Hades has as well:

Wrath.

Exhibit Beta: A Swell Consolation Prize

Hades loses. Big surprise there. I'm not covering the Titan scene since Hades and Herc just trade frowns and smirks, so imma leave that one be for this post.

But Hades really does sign his death certificate when he starts running away and reminds Johnny Beefcakes that he still managed to get him where it hurts:

And boy oh boy, when Meg died in his arms, Hercules has murder on his mind.

This is the first time Hercules has a vendetta against Hades (with 10 minutes left). A true, true vendetta. He was willing to let go tricking him by using Meg, but now b/c Hades knocked over the domino that led to Meg's death and the job title he holds, he's ready to go kick ass.

And Lord, the writers knock a home run to the impulsiveness that sits at this central character flaw of Herakles.

Hercules, our Disney version, is ready to cheat death, beat Hades to a pulp and do anything to get Meg back. Alcestis and Admetus style, baby.

So Herc grabs Cerberus and forces the bloodthirsty puppy to take him to his master.

And now realizing that he still has a chance of pulling one over on Zeus, Hades is willing to look over the abuse upon his pet and gets ready to use the wheeling and dealing technique.

And while Hercules does *convince*, and I use that word very loosely, to trade places with Meg, Hades agrees. While some have pointed out to me how clever Hercules can be this was not one of those moments.

Wow the son of my greatest rival??? Hercules made a really easy bargain that Hades was gonna propose anyway. Meg is insignificant in the grand scheme of things so who cares if she got a 'Get out of Jail' free card.

But, Hades messed up. Dude should've had his cake and eaten it too and just fished Meg out so Herc could take that dip and avoid what was coming to him.

Y'see Hades wasn't aware of the true hero clause Zeus randomly made up just like how Hades randomly made up a god-to-mortal potion.

So we get this ending with Herc's debt remaining unpaid.

I joked to myself as I was writing this post to include a post in my Hercules Conflicts series where it's Hades vs Hades b/c let's be real, Hades caused all of Hades' problems.

Self-fulfilling prophecies babyyyyy

Oy... Can you believe that now that Herc and Meg are alive and kicking as mortals they still owe a debt to Hades? Not the best ending, mind you. Sure, Hades isn't getting out anytime soon, so does it matter in the grand scheme of things?

But it is a sweet and well-deserved ending for our boy Hercules. Bc despite everything, Hercules realizes that the ppl who love him and know him for who he is: his adopted parents, his coach, and his girl that he would rather live out a mortal life with them instead of one with his bio parents. He knows now that the acceptance he has always been longing for has been realized and he'd rather have the life he knows than risk it all for a life that might make him all the more miserable.

And just like Hercules, Hades is now permanently stuck in the world he was forced into. Funny how they both ended up in the place they were actively trying to leave. It's a well-deserved punishment even if the dead are screwed without someone to keep the underworld in tip-top shape.

It's a shame Hades didn't meet Hercules sooner in the film because there is tons of material here that could've really had them be a formidable villain/hero pair up there with the likes of Aladdin vs Jafar. To have them actively oppose each other and force Hercules to grapple with the knowledge that this god is doing everything in his power to keep him off balance. imagine if Hades showed up early on just to gloat and mock the kid and confirm everything Zeus had told him?

Hercules could've grown up with that chip on his shoulder, wanting to be a fighter and a warrior just so he could take Hades on for realzies and take on the hoard of monsters he's sending to doom humanity. Just so it culminates in the classic: We're not so different conversation to mentally mess with the hero about his morals and life choices.

Could've been great.

Regardless, thanks for making it to the end, dear reader.

Till next time.

#disney #disney hades #disney hercules #hercules #my rambles #disney villains #disney megara #greek myth #greek mythology

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mostlyimmortal · 8 months ago

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Interview with the Vampire (S1): A collection of articles with Jacob Anderson (Part 1)

New York Post Jacob Anderson on ‘Interview with the Vampire’: A ‘beautiful rant about an ex’ (10/03/2022)

W Magazine Jacob Anderson Saw the Meme-ification of Don’t Worry Darling Happen in Real Time The Interview With the Vampire actor discusses binge-reading Anne Rice’s novels and his thoughts on filmic meta-commentary. (10/03/2022)

Vulture Interview With the Vampire’s Jacob Anderson on Power Struggles and Ethical Feeding (10/21/2022)

The New Yorker Jacob Anderson Scares Easily The “Interview with the Vampire” star ruminates on death and immortality while visiting the crypts under St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral. (11/08/2022)

Gizmodo Interview With the Vampire's Jacob Anderson on His Character Inspiration Ahead of the penultimate episode of AMC's Interview With the Vampire, star Jacob Anderson talks with io9 about creating many versions of one vampire. (11/12/2022)

The Washington Post In ‘Interview with the Vampire,’ Jacob Anderson is a complicated monster (11/14/2022)

The Grio Jacob Anderson calls AMC’s Black, queer ‘Interview With The Vampire’ series ‘very special, refreshing and rare’ Adapted from the 1976 novel of the same name, it has enjoyed critical acclaim for its execution, themes and tweaks to the original story. (11/14/2022)

Inside Hook Jacob Anderson Has Been Waiting His Whole Career for a Show Like “Interview with the Vampire” The actor explains why his part on the popular AMC+ series is the role of a lifetime (11/17/2022)

AMC Talk Interview With The Vampire Q&A — Jacob Anderson On Louis Falling Under Lestat’s Spell One Last Time (11/23/2022)

#interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #jacob anderson #louis de pointe du lac

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ultipoter · 7 months ago

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8, 13 and 18 for the ask game! (also hard agree on mother 3 ending. 😭 being a fan of smash and seeing the lucas memes in no way prepared me for ANYTHING in actual mother 3)

(RIGHT?? THAT WAS THE SAME WITH ME I knew Lucas from Smash and I knew he was a WIMP according to all the memes, so when I finally played M3. Man. That lil guy is stronger and braver than anyone out there. I want to replay Mother 3.)

8: Best soundtrack? Undertale/Deltarune soundtracks are on my frequent replay lists, can't go wrong with those. Also Tokimeki Memorial: forever with you soundtrack is So Good. It's so good. Like, listen to this. Or the ending song. Please listen to the ending song, it's so good. In fact I'll embed the ending song here

youtube

13: A game you were the most excited for when it wasn’t released yet? Story of Seasons: A Wonderful Life. I loved the original on the GameCube, played both boy and girl versions and the remake on Switch didn't disappoint!! 10/10 would make questionable parenting choices again-

18: A game you wish your friends knew about? Baten Kaitos is easier to play than ever, now that it's on the Switch. Come, let's be guardian spirits together,,

#MOTHER 3 AAAA #It's so #it's just so #man.#you get it friend #ask game

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kamenstranger · 6 months ago

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X-men '97 (mostly) spoiler free Review.

I'll be honest, when X-men '97 was announced I didn't think much of it. I've held a long stance of (at best) indifference towards reboots, remakes, or continuations of legacy properties. At worst, I hold a deep cynicism towards the often mishandling and cheap regurgitation to cash in on nostalgia.

The thing that most often goes wrong with such things is either it becomes so different one questions why it has X name attached instead of being a whole new thing, or it's so similar it does nothing new and only serves to callback fond memories and memes spawned from the original. It's a delicate balance to be familiar yet fresh. More often than not, it goes terribly wrong.

X-men '97 does not suffer that fate.

The most shocking thing about '97 isn't how much it feels like a proper continuation in every sense one could possibly achieve, but how better it is top to bottom. Sure, it has surface level nostalgia like the intro, callbacks, and the occasional campy tone (although never quite as much as the OG series, which lets be real, is for the better.) But it also understands how paramount it is to elevate and evolve the narrative with what the show explores, rather than relying on the familiar. The kids who grew up with the original are in their 30s if not their early 40s, and the ones that didn't remain children want more nuance and complexity. Not to mention the original, for all the good, is extremely flawed.

There's a story I read about Genndy Tartakovsky having a sign outside his office in the heyday of Cartoon Network that said something along the lines of "Make the Cartoons the way you think you remember." The idea being that a lot of people don't recognize the flaws in the shows they enjoyed at kids and have false idealized versions of those memories. '97 feels like that philosophy in some ways. It feels like all the legitimately good aspects cranked up to 11, and a lot of the lesser parts filtered out; an idealized version of what the original could be. In fact, Tartakovsky might be an apt comparison in another way, in that it feels as natural a progression as Samurai Jack with how it matured upon a revival, but without losing the parts that made the original so endearing.

Where X-men '97 hooked me was as early as ep. 2. Magneto gives a speech to the UN stating "As a boy, my people's homes were burned to ash because we dared to call God by another name. Then, my people hunted me with those who had once hunted them." The balls to go there hit like a truck and made me realize where this series was going. It might be trite to say "This isn't your childhood X-men" as if to imply some dark bend to the series. But no, this is simply an X-men that doesn't play coy with the analogies or side skirt death because of broadcast standards. It's an X-men allowed explore topics and stories in a manner much closer to the comics. The greatest example of that here is with Magnus, who for the first time is treated with a level of complexity I've not seen in any adaptive work.

The thing I love about Magneto is his versatility as a villain. He's full of himself, and goes too far in areas, but often still makes a good point. And even if he has those two flaws, is that much different than Xavier? Is his way ultimately more correct even if not 100% so? Conversely, you can easily turn him into a megalomaniac, unquestionably in the wrong-- yet still somewhat sympathetic because much of Humanity has reinforced time after time that it's oppress or be oppressed, with no alternative or in-between. That also makes him very interesting as someone who struggles to change their ways, to avoid falling down that slippery slope of becoming that very thing he so hates.

It should come as no surprise that this added focus on Magneto results in some killer lines throughout the run. The trailer made it clear that he would become leader of the X-men after Charles' apparent death at the end of the original series (as an aside, pay close attention to the language used when referring to Charles, it's very clever.) About half this season deals with Magnus building towards something beyond the school and beyond the X-men with the Island Nation of Genosha, creating a proper haven for Mutants to exist freely and in the open. He's honestly one of if not my favorite part of the show, both as a character and how that characterization helps drive the plot. Of course it's just one of many. Another big focus is Scott and Jean's relationship, the pregnancy, the fear of and eventual birthing of a child into a world that hates and fears them. That added dimension makes Scott a lot more nuanced this go around. Ideally, Cyclops should make difficult and perhaps unpopular decisions that are ultimately for the better, justifying his position as someone capable of making choices others would not. In practice, a lot of instances have Scott making boneheaded decisions and being a punching bag for Wolverine. People like to hate on the dude, and I don't blame them. It's very easy to make someone like that unlikable, and most of time, writers do.

But '97 gives a lot more personal scenes with him, showing how he's scared of his position, how Xavier's absence added a great weight upon his shoulders. Not to mention one of their greatest enemies-- the one ideologically opposite of Charles-- is entrusted with carrying on Xavier's dream, not him, not even another X-men. Then there's the baby on the way, everything that happens afterwards which is just the cherry on the shit sundae. I felt bad for Scott, the poor guy is sent thought the ringer this season. But that also makes him and his relationship with Jean legitimately interesting.

Meanwhile, the latter half of a show blows up into a much bigger cataclysmic event that actually manages to pull off some of the best suspense, trepidation, and "Oh shit, what next?" moments that few series achieve with such a level of success or frequency.

All that said, as much praise as I have for the story and characters… the stuff with Rogue is a bit weird and will probably be the most off putting aspect during the first half.

This is one of those parts I can't really skim over in a mostly spoiler free fashion, so get ready. For half the show Rogue spends a lot of time with Magneto after he takes over the X-men, and it's a source of friction for Gambit. And you think you know how this is going; Rogue obviously has some sorta past with Magnus no one else knows about, which makes sense given her checkered history, and Gambit is horribly misinterpreting that prior relationship as something more out of jealousy.

But no, Gambit was right. It was a lot more than just partners in crime. See, Magnus' whole electromagnet field can protect him from Rogue while the two still feel a touch, as it where, and they took full advantage of that way back when. So yeah, that's a thing that happened.

I get what they're going for; giving Rogue a complicated relationship with a major antagonist, how fair is keeping that information from Gambit, what does that even say about Magnus etc. The comics have done or tried similar things, often to a worse extent. (In fact this is based on a bit from Age of X) Still, it feels a tad weird here, and the age gap certainly plays a role. Which again, I realize is the point. I think part of the hang up on my end is Animated Rogue and Gambit always felt just a tad younger than say Jean, Scott, and Storm-- and the thought of the much older Magnus hooking up with an at the time technically legal Rogue bothers me. Not in an ageist way, but in a Jerry Seinfeld sorta way.

But I think that they're a bit more up there then previously thought. So if this goes back 5 maybe 10 years, that makes it feel less like Magnus was taking advantage of a very lonely and still naive girl, but having a fling with (at minimum) mid 20 something, which has it's own baggage, but is far less creepy and but in-line with Magnus' ego. His crimes against humanity I can forgive, but not acting like a libertarian. As for Rogue…I mean I wouldn't judge her anyway. Especially from her POV. I mean… look at Magnus.

If I couldn't have physical contact with 99% of people, I'd jump at exploring that magnetic pole, too.

That's probably the biggest "issue" I have with the story, and honestly I'm sorta coming around to it because it's told so damn well and leads to some pretty great bits. Rogue's argument with Gambit in particular is heart-wrenching.

And we also get some lovely scenes later in the series with Nightcrawler being a supporting brother to Rogue, which I just adore. I'll admit I'm slightly bias here because Kurt was one of my favorite X-men characters along with Remy, Rogue, and Magneto. So I'm eating good this season.

What I don't care for however is the romance between Forge and Storm. In fact, Storm probably gets the worst arc this season simply due to constraints and timing. It's not bad, but you can really tell hers was meant to be a larger and more intimate tale that was condensed down to what is effectively a single episode hacked to pieces. The passage of time is very poorly conveyed, so it feels like Forge proclaims his love after a week and one romantic dinner. Storm's more internal demons and struggles with her powers, while interesting conceptually, suffers from structural and pacing issues as it's split over two episodes shared with other stories. This is compounded with the fact one episode in-between those two is on the much more grandiose story of Genosha-- which is itself is grounded by that love triangle between Mags, Gambit, and Rogue-- not to mention a number of character deaths as the mid season "Oh shit" moment. The result is a vast cloud being cast over Ororo's narrative. We don't even get to properly delve into the Adversary.

There's some more minor things I can think of; the first episode is a little rough because of the dialogue being very hamfisted. It's made to be friendly to newcomers that didn't watch the original series, which I respect, but the consequence is some very weird statements of facts from characters to others that already know them. I think they knew this, which is why the much better ep. 2 dropped the same day. Smart. Outside ep. 1 it's handled much better. Slight spoiler, but if you know the comics you know about Madelyne Pryor, a clone of Jean with all her memories. OG Jean pops back in, but has a fragmented memory which allows for a much more natural flow of information as she slowly remembers events like the Phoenix and such.

Another use of conveying information to new comers is the newest member to the team, Roberto da Costa AKA Sunspot. Early on Roberto doesn't really have much going on, he's used similar to Jubilee as the audience POV saved by the X-men and that's kinda it. There's sparks between him and Jubilee, but for the most part his story takes a back seat to the much larger going ons. In fact I don't really think he ever comes into his own this season, although he is getting there by the end. However, I do think his character is used well thematically. Roberto's mother is a very wealthy business woman and philanthropist, and she's basically the stereotype of every rich minority liberal. She doesn't mind her son being a mutant, but she wants to keep it secret for social and financial reasons. She holds big charities for mutant causes, but will sell her own son out to authority figures if pressed. I never got invested in Roberto as there simply isn't enough time to focus on how that affects him on a deeper level beyond "Maybe Magneto is right." But I am impressed at showcasing that type of performative ally-ship, and with a parent no less.

I guess the last thing to address the new villain this season. I won't get into the story stuff, but if you know who Bastion is, then you sorta know where this goes anyway. And if you don't, then I won't really be getting too deep into that stuff. To be honest, I don't have a ton to say about him. He is quite different from his comics version to better fit within TAS universe, and he's sympathetic as a result of those changes. Pretty typical with this iteration of X-men to mix, change, and mash storylines across multiple decades. So nothing new there. I think he's a good threat, I like the portrayal of the prime sentinels, he's built up very well as a mysterious puppet master and power house; possibly too good given a "get out of jail free" moment with Jean in the finale. Theo James also does a good job making him sound calm, collected, almost emotionless-- but not bored, which a lot of people struggle with. I just don't really find him all that captivating or fun as a villain compared to say Magneto or Mr. Sinister. What he is, is a good catalyst. And I'm fine with that. X-men thrives on its melodramatic interpersonal relationships to carry damn near any story. Take characters you like, build'em up, have complex emotions, then throw them into scenarios to exacerbate all of that. If you can pull it off, you've got a fine formula for entertaining stories-- so long as you keep evolving those characters and scenarios. So, sure, I don't think Bastion is an all time great, but I'm more interested in the team having to deal with his shit and each other than him specifically, and I'm still getting other villains I do find interesting, so I can't really complain. But that's enough but the story, let's get into the other bits. Animation On the Animation side X-men '97 looks damn good. Comparing it to the original isn't even fair. The original studio, AKOM, was constantly threatened with firing because their output was routinely bad. Be that from a massive workload, poor management, crunch, Saban being a fuck stick, etc. Whatever the cause, the end result was not good. The first episode of X-men aired in an incomplete state, and that sort of trouble plagued the entire production. Heck, fellow Fox Kids series Batman The Animated Series terminated their contract with them for similar errors.

The first episode on '97 meanwhile takes every opportunity to showcase dynamic action. It probably has the most clever combination and uses of the X-men's powers; Scott using his optic blasts for movement, Gambit charging Wolverine's claws, Jean creating a containment field for Storm's tornadoes to increase pressure. That standard of quality is mostly maintained throughout. The biggest critique I can make is that some of the more subtle movements; raised eyebrow; slight head tilt; gritting teeth, tend to have an…off look. It reminds me a lot of the adoption of Flash in the 2010s and other digital animation, where every now and then certain objects just sorta float and slide in an overly smooth fashion, as if someone is simply moving a png around.

Another quirk is that there are A LOT of close ups of eyes. Sometimes that's an artistic choice, but very often it feels like a work around to avoid animating mouth movements for dialogue, showing backgrounds, other characters, and so on. And it's a trick used a wee-bit too much, one I'm hoping is ironed out by next season because it did become distracting by the end. But ya know, this is also better than Castlevania's first two seasons.

Voice Acting.

The voice Acting is great, no surprise there. Hell, the cast was the best thing out of the original series. While the dialogue and the delivery varied wildly, the voices themselves were generally on point, weird takes or direction notwithstanding. Those to me will always be the voices for those characters. I still hear Alison Sealy-Smith when I read Storm's dialogue in comic form, or Lenore Zann's Rogue, or George Buza's Beast. Most of the surviving original cast is back, either as their respective characters, or in other roles if they didn't want/fit the role anymore, as was the case with Catherine Disher and Alyson Court. Hilariously, Morph's original actor, Ron Rubin, now plays President Kelly.

youtube

Oddly enough Gambit's original VA, Chris Potter, returns but in the role of Cable. Credit where it's due, this Cable sounds similar to a much gruffer Cyclops, but in such a way that's clearly a different voice. So I think that was a good change.

Speaking of Scott, Ray Chase is the new voice and he knocks it out of the park, absolutely perfect voice for the character that captures the smarmy routine Norm Spencer had. I'm frankly impressed how perfect he fills those shoes, while also adding a world weariness. Likewise, Jennifer Hales is a fantastic choice for Jean. She's played Jean before but this is much more influenced by Disher's performance. Ironically Hale's performance made me realize how perfect she would've been as Jill Valentine, and I'm sorta surprised she was never picked for any of the remakes. Additionally, Hale is clearly having so much fun in a villainous role as the Goblin Queen. In fact, her tone is slightly different for Pryor in general, but my god is the Goblin Queen stuff a joy. It's only like an episode, but Hale is just REVELING in being a baddy.

Nice to see X-men awakening things in people even years later.

Other new cast members include A. J. LoCascio, who does a great job as Gambit. Of course we have new addition Roberto, voiced by Gui Agustini, who fits lovely and speaks Portuguese to boot. Holly Chou takes over Jubilee and is so damn on point I had to double check it wasn't a time-displaced Court. You actually get to hear Chou and Court opposite one another and it is WILD how subtle the differences are. Ross Marquand is also pretty damn close to Cedric Smith's Xavier, albeit a tad younger sounding. One returning member I do want to give special mention to is Cal Dodd's Wolverine. Dodd was always a favorite, and like the others "the voice" of that character to me, and it's great to hear him again. Although I will note it doesn't really sound like 90s Wolverine, with exception to the penultimate episode where it sorta comes back. I'm not sure if they told him to do a rougher voice, if it's just the result of age, or if he's just getting back into it (Logan doesn't have many lines this season) but it's certainly different for most of the run. Every so often you'll also get a very slight inflection of an accent. Now Dodd is Irish born, but he doesn't have an Irish accent, yet I swear I hear one coming from Wolverine. Honestly? It weirdly works simply due to Logan's age and coming from Alberta, which was pretty heavy on immigrants from all the British Empire's isles. So…I kinda dig it, even if I'll always default to the OG performance in my head.

I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention the incredible music by the Newton Brothers.

But I also don't really know what to say about it beyond "That's some damn fine music and remixing of the Main Theme." Part of the problem is the Soundtrack isn't released at the time of this writing, there's only a single for the opening. But the harrowing vocal version of the theme, the BGM, all that's not released in a format I can point to and tell you to check it out, or even give a name to the ones I like. So... I just have to throw my hands up and say I love their work and am glad they're returning next season.

I hope they remix the second X-men theme from the later seasons. Final Thoughts

X-men '97 has been by far the most pleasant surprise this year. I loved the feeling of looking forward to each episode, wanting to know what events will transpire, waiting until next Wednesday for the follow up. Few series manage to capture my attention to the extent '97 did. In the wrong hands this could've been exhausting, but it's a masterclass in pacing and escalation without feeling tiresome. X-men '97 pulls off a perfect balance of new and familiar, maintaining and building upon a strong foundation of character drama to reach new heights that results in, above all else, an extremely rare example of a revival surpassing the original in every regard.

Now, I just hope the firing of the director wasn't a sign that Disney is going to sabotage this because the suits are rock stupid. Or that the series will become bogged down with cameos and references to other stuff. I gotta tell you, one of the best things was '97 not dealing with MCU and just having relatively subdued cameos and name drops. It was quaint compared to what it's like now. But that finale made me wince in spots. You can justify it all you want, but I'm tired, and I hope it's not a sign of things to come.

I couldn't figure out where to put this in the review, but I did want to mention a moment in ep 2 that I loved. Jean goes into labor and while Logan is driving her to the hospital, her powers go a little out of control and rips the roof off his vehicle. She made him a convertible.

They do not draw attention to it, no smarmy comment, just something that happens. But I have to imagine it was an intentional reference, and that's my favorite kind of callback. All that said, thanks for reading this. It's not often I do spoiler free reviews, but sometimes the format is just right for what I have to say without delving into a big plot synopsis. Hopefully, if you were cautious like me, maybe you'll check out '97 and find something you really love.

#review #x men 97 #marvel #Youtube

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destinygoldenstar · 2 months ago

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☀️ AnalyzGolden's Reactions To Disventure Camp Season 1: All Eliminations, Plot Twists, Etc. *Merge COMPILATION* ☀️

This Post is compilation of my reactions to Disventure Camp's Eliminations, Plot Twists, & Overall Big Moments.

For those of my followers who don't know, Disventure Camp is an independent animated YouTube show by OddNation Cartoons, that originated as a Total Drama fanfiction.

But due to legal stuff (Fresh TV HATES it when fan stuff of their shows get attention), they found a way around it by changing up the show to make it original, with completely original characters and settings. Because of this, they remade the first season after Season 2 was already done and published, and the remake (which is the version I watched) is the one that is canon to the show's story.

Btw, the original Season 1 that they made before this drama is now considered the 'beta' version, and it's not canon to the show's story. So you don't HAVE to watch the beta to understand anything, but it's there. (maybe one day I'll react to that too)

Obviously, BIG SPOILERS for this show.

So if you haven't watched it yet, I encourage you to watch it first and then check out these posts from me. The show is free on YouTube. They have it both in English and Spanish.

Check Out This Post For A Fast Travel To My Full Reactions To The Season

I AM planning on making more posts about this show, so look forward to those. (Including A Tier List post, compilations of the more funnier bits, etc)

With the exception of a couple of meme bits, THIS COMPILATION POST WON'T CONTAIN THE SCREENSHOTS. Tumblr has an image limit of 30 images per post.

So if you want the screenshots, see my episode reactions.

I also had to split this into two parts (again) because it got too big and Tumblr wouldn't allow it.

<< Premerge Compilation

Without further ado, let's get right into the CHAOS that ensued with this!

Tom's Termination

Why is Tom depressed?

"Can we speak?"

"I'm trying to wallow in the darkness in my heart."

"Shortly before I came here, I ended a relationship that was very toxic and I got hurt."

Oh he's telling Tom this. Okay. I approve. He deserves to know.

How many people have he told this to? Miriam, Ellie, now Tom?

"HEY GUYS, DO YOU THINK JAKE WAS IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP?! I CAN'T TELL!"

I'm not annoyed by it, I'm cracking a bad joke

"These aren't excuses for how I've been treating you, but I want you to know I feel terrible."

You yelled at him ONCE. And you apologized for it three times now.

I wouldn't count that as "I've treated you terribly this entire time".

I'm glad he's making this clear though. He knows when to take accountability.

"I said I was sowwy, pwease fowgive me!"

"I have a hard time trusting people, Tom, I just... talking to you makes me forget sometimes how shitty life can be. I don't want to lose that."

This is actually good on Jake's end. He's explaining his situation to Tom, not excusing it, and trying to be open and honest.

"After all this is over, I would love if... you and I... we... continue-"

"Jake."

Why is Tom so pissy? He wasn't like this last episode.

"I got a call last night... I got fired."

😨

WHAT?!?!?!?!

HE GOT FIRED?!?!?!?!?!?

WH-WH-HOW?!?! HOW-?!

*Golden.exe has stopped working*

OH MY GOD...

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT BEING WHERE THIS STORY WAS HEADING.

SO HIS MISSION FAILED?!

Maybe he'll explain it. I'll keep listening.

"A video in which YOU mentioned my work was uploaded to the Internet and my boss saw it."

OH...

*covered mouth* Oh my god...

JAKE, YOU FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR

THERE IS NO REPAIRING THIS

You got your crush fired, now you suffer significant consequences for the rest of your days.

Well Tom is DEFINATELY not gonna want to be around you ever again.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Not now."

"Tom, if you need anyone to-"

"I SAID NOT NOW."

*storms off*

GOD...

I can't imagine how that makes Tom feel though. Getting fired because of a guy you liked...

OH WAIT CAUSE I PUT TOM IN THE HEADING LAST EPISODE. SHIT. I CAUSED THIS.

I THOUGHT I DIDN'T JINX ANYONE LAST EPISODE.

Episode 8 Elimination + Gabby/Ellie Kiss

"Tonight, we won't just be reading the votes..."

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH MY GOD IT'S A TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND REFERENCE

THEY DID THIS SAME THING ON THEIR FIRST MERGE COUNCIL TOO

'GABBY'

YEAH YEAH WE KNOW...

OH GOD I'M SCARED NOW...

IT'S EITHER GABBY OR JAKE AND BOTH ARE GONNA HURT

'GABBY'

"This is for getting me out of today's challenge."

BEEF.

'GABBY'

And then it's gonna be all the Jake votes piling up.

'TOM'

OH WAIT THEY'RE VOTING TOM. WAIT A MINUTE.

NO IT'S TOM THAT'S GOING.

I mean I'm not saying that's a bad move, it's a good move, but...

'TOM'

OH I'M SORRY TOM. THIS IS IT FOR YOU.

'GABBY'

WAIT WHAT??!?!?!?!

NOOOOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!??!?!

SHE'S ON YOUR SIDE!!!!

"Now without Gabby, Ellie will have no choice but to return with us to her old alliance."

SHE WAS ALREADY WITH YOU, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT!

THAT RUINS YOUR CHANCES TO ALLY WITH HER!!!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!??!!

'GABBY'

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO COME ON THAT'S BULLSHIT

THAT'S A BULLSHIT GAME MOVE!!

DON'T DO THIS!!!!

'GABBY'

😨

"Gabby. That's six votes. You're out."

GABBY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm actually HURT

I'm actually DEVASTATED...

OMG GABBY NOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, I'm calming down...

GOD I'M MAD. I'M SO MAD.

"I knew something was wrong."

HUH, at least now Ellie KNOWS who to trust, right?!

At least Jake came CLEAN about who his alliance was voting for! Fiore's DIDN'T.

HUH, I WONDER WHICH ALLIANCE I SHOULD SIDE WITH

That's a nail in the coffin. Ellie is NEVER siding with the villains.

I hope that gameplay was sounded smart on your ends.

Okay no I'll talk about this later.

"They ruined my plans."

OH YEAH NOW SHE'S OUTTED.

Fiore, you fucked up your entire game.

"You can make fun and celebrate all you want, but it won't last long! The three of you are still outnumbered."

OOF. And she just flat out said it.

"I am NOT working with you after this! You can't make me!"

"If you still had your totem, you could've saved yourself."

Yeah... should've kept that idol.

OH WAIT I PUT GABBY IN THE HEADING, I JINXED HER ELIMINATION, GODDAMMIT!!!

NO, I CAUSED THIS!!!

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT HER IN THE HEADING!!!

"I'm happy I saved you. You're the only person here who has ever taken me seriously, and possibly the only person I've ever met who has made me feel... valid."

💗

"Because you are! There's nothing wrong with you."

YOU BET THERE'S NOT. YOU'RE WONDERFUL, GABBY.

"I hope we'll keep talking when this is all over."

"We will."

*Kiss*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

YEEEESSSS!!!

*I got a 'Speak No Evil' trailer ad*

WOW. TONAL WHIPLASH THERE.

Tom Face Reveal + Tom/Jake Kiss

"Any update about your job?"

He got FIRED. I don't think you get an update after that.

"Anyway, I haven't been sure for awhile if this is what I really want..."

Oh?

You didn't want to be a spy?

"...or if I'm even good at it..."

Uh...

Yeah, you weren't, I'm gonna be brutally honest.

You can find a new job. One that you love. One where you can work AND maintain relationships.

"You think you weren't meant to be a spy?"

"I don't know. But it's not like I have a choice anymore."

Yeah... that's a hard situation. I can relate to that.

AH-!

OH MY GOD.

I DIDN'T-OH MY GOD...

"I don't work there anymore... I don't need this..."

So he WAS wearing that for his job! So he's ditching his career?!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH...

Oh THAT'S why...

I was thinking awhile it would be that he had a scarred face, but I wasn't sure. AND I was joking about it this whole time. God I feel awful now...

I'm trying to look at this properly. What happened? Was he in a fire or something? I can't tell cause it's a cartoon, but that MIGHT be burn scars?????

I don't know, maybe he's gonna explain it.

"My first job was a couple months ago. I was sloppy and I got found out. Things went wrong, and my captors... gave me this..."

😨

OH MY GOD, HE WAS TORTURED?!?!?!

HOLY-I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE GONNA GO THAT DARK WITH IT.

Holy god, I can't even imagine. I don't want to imagine Tom getting tortured like that.

"The boss wasn't happy. I was tasked to come onto this show as a contestant to investigate it. This job was my last chance, and I blew it."

Ouch...

"Were you using that mask to hide your identity or... were you...?"

"That's just an excuse. The truth is I... I felt ashamed..."

Aw...😢

"But you look good, Tom."

Awwwwww...💗

*Kiss*

...wwwwAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH

OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH MYY GOD!!!!

*I got out of my chair and paced around for a minute*

AAAAAAAHHHH💗

*I'm giddy and out of breath*

I didn't expect them to kiss today... oh my god...

YEEESSS!!! I FEEL VALIDATED!!!!!

Oh my god, Tom Face Reveal. AND... ship name kiss, IN THE SAME SCENE. That's too much for the feels.

Jam. It's Jam isn't it? I don't have jam on me right now.

I actually don't like eating jam. I'm not a jelly person.

Okay okay okay, I'm sorry. I'll keep going.

"...I'm not."

Aw 💗

"Attention campers! Challenge time!"

Oh screw you!

They're good for each other. They're actually good for each other.

I HAD MY DOUBTS. But they do work.

*I had to get water* (Y'all keep your dirty jokes about that)

Ellie Gets 'Disarmed & Killed' (BLOOD TW)

"What happened with your mask?"

Oh yeah they don't know...

God it's SO WEIRD seeing Tom without the mask now.

OH SHIT-

UM, HELLO?!?!?!

IM SORRY, WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!?!

“What the hell is that?!”

My thoughts exactly Ellie!

DID THEY WAKE UP IN THE FUTURE?! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!

I'M WATCHING A TOTAL DRAMA FANFICTION, RIGHT?!?!

"It looks like a-a-a person..."

"Like a dead person?!"

Tom, you killed a guy!

OH GOOD LORD-

YEAH WE'RE NOT WATCHING DISVENTURE CAMP ANYMORE

If you asked me what my predictions were for this show: "Let's make a PLOT TWIST in the middle of the show and turn it into a zombie apocalypse 'The Walking Dead' show" Would NEVER be on my list.

WHAT THE HELL

I mean if you know me, you know I like death game stories...

But surprisingly, I don't actually like zombie apocalypse stories. It's not just my cup of tea.

Because zombie apocalypse stories are just so bloody hopeless and there's absolutely no way out of inevitable fate. It's just "This is hell, wait till it's your turn to die."

And I just naturally find that less compelling than stuff like Hunger Games, Squid Game, and Danganronpa, where there IS a possibility to escape your fate, even if it's really small.

With these kinds of stories, I'm just waiting for everyone to die. So I get less attached.

That's just my opinion.

"Did you hear that?!"

"Sounded like gunshots!"

"Don't worry guys! It's just Tom killing a man! It's fine!"

"I KISSSED A SERIAL KILLER?!?!"

I mean, I WOULD say this is all a stage show. Like these are just people wearing makeup.

BUT YOU CAN'T FAKE TOM KILLING A GUY.

UNLESS YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH WORSE THAN CHRIS MCLEAN

"I don't care if he's a serial killer! HE'S MY LOVE! WE'RE LETTING HIM IN. WHAT'S THE WORSE THAT COULD HAPPEN?!"

"What's going on?!"

"Ellie why do you have ketchup splashed all over your face?"

"They looked like people, but they're not!"

"I would never kill a man! I swear!!"

"What if it was a woman?"

"...shit!!"

"Is that... a bite?"

OH SHIT

They're not gonna KILL Ellie, right?!

Cut off her arm, and she might be saved!

"...well, one step closer to winning."

GRETT. WTF?! YOU"RE A PSYCHOPATH!!!

I mean I'm not surprised. BUT WTF?!

"I think we... have to... cut off your arm."

NO I WAS JUST JOKING, YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT?!?!?!?!?

"GOLDEN IS OUR OVERLORD AND SHE TOLD ME TO SAVE YOU BY CUTTING OFF YOUR ARM!!!"

"Isn't this just a silly challenge?!"

GOD I HOPE SO

CAUSE THIS IS FUCKED UP

OH MY GOD THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING IT...

I'M SORRY ELLIE!!!

"So... this ISN'T a challenge?"

YOU THINK?!?!!!

NOW YOU REGRET IT?!?!

"I think I'm gonna faint."

I WOULD TOO.

ELLIE NOOOOOOOO

Alec & Miriam 'Die' (BLOOD TW)

Tom is probably the most equipped for surviving this.

OH GOD-

YOU CAN'T JUST HOLD A CHILD AT GUNPOINT, TOM

YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT.

"I'll put one right between your eyes."

Tom, you're done.

OKAY, RIP ALEC

Tom is NOT fucking around!

"Tom! Are you okay?"

"No worries. I got a body count in the double digits now. Cool, huh?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

MIRIAM NOOOOOOOO

WHAT?!! THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE!!

"Miriam, stay with me!!"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO...

NOT THE GRANDMA

"Don't leave me!!"

AWWWW JAKE NOOO😢

He's losing another grandma! 😭

"Coming to this camp was worth it... I didn't think my last days would end like this... but I'm happy they were with you... you are the grandchildren I never had."

😭💗

HE'S YOUR GRANDSON. DON'T LEAVE HIM.

NOOOOOOO

"Not again!!" *cries*

AWWW JAKE, HONEY NOOOOOO 😭

Don't Make Jake Suffer Challenge. Level: Impossible.

Yeah lets just cut to a six year old driving a bus. Why not?

I'M STILL MOURNING

Fiore Murders Everyone Else (BLOOD TW)

"I don't know... I don't think this will ever end..."

Can we give Jake a hug? PLEASE?

"Hey... at least we have each other."

THANK YOU💗

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER💗

NO GODDAMMIT

FIORE WHYYYYYYYY

“Hey guys! I got another trick I wanna show you. It’s called: ‘BURY YOUR GAYS’”

*Jake gets killed too*

Goddammit...

NOT A SIX YEAR OLD MURDERING MY BOYS

HOW DID WE GET HERE?!?!??!

"I'm sorry Grett, but I need this immunity."

Wait what-

*Murders Grett*

WELP.

This is how we got here.

A six year old is celebrating among her victims.

"WHOO HOOO!!! I KILLED EVERYBODY!!!!"

WHY IS TOM IN THE FAMILY GUY POSE?!?!?!?!?

"See that's my secret Golden. My mask protects me from getting killed, so I'm just faking my death."

"...oh wait I'm not wearing my mask anymore. SHIT-"

It Was All VR

...

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK?!

IT WAS ALL VR?!

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

HOW DID WE GET HERE?!??!?!?!?!

"Oh my gosh, my arm! I have my arm!"

"Oh my gosh, I've been in a coma for a MONTH! Cause I died on the first day!"

"Victory is mine! MIIIIINNNNEEE!!!"

All Fiore cares about is winning.

When a six year old is an even worse psychopath than Grett.

"Am-am-am I dead?!"

Jake. Honey.

EVERYONE is going to need SERIOUS THERAPY after this.

HOLY SHIT THAT IS TRAUMATIZING.

I can't even blame Jake one bit. He watched his friend get turned into a zombie and die. He watched his surrogate grandma die. He watched his boyfriend die. He watched HIMSELF die. AND IT WAS IN THE SPAN OF A MONTH

...nah, therapy ain't fixing him.

"A few hours ago, you fell asleep, and we put you through our hyper realistic VR simulator."

You guys are fucked up.

Even Chris McLean is saying that's fucked up.

"I'm just glad I have both my arms again."

Ellie's just done.

"Yeah TOM! Don't cut a woman's arm off! I'M VOTING YOU TONIGHT."

Watch it actually be Tom that's going and that's Ellie's reason.

I feel like Tom's story is done anyway.

"The challenge was to survive the zombie apocalypse."

You can't survive a zombie apocalypse. Either you DIE, or you DIE.

"Wait, so you KILLED ME to get immunity?!"

YEAH.

If THAT doesn't prove to you that Fiore is FUCKED UP BEYOND REPAIR, idk what does.

"Weren't we in an alliance?"

"We were. But we got exposed last round."

ARE YOU DITCHING GRETT?!

YOU NEED HER FOR NUMBERS.

Idk why I'm asking at this point. These villains plans have been stupid these past two episodes.

I mean, it's not THAT bad here because there was no other option after they killed Tom & Jake. So...

I won't rant this time.

"You'll be distorted for a few more hours, adjusting back to our time, getting back to your body, all that kind of stuff."

"And you'll probably need YEARS of therapy."

Episode 9 Elimination

"What do we do? We have to decide between Alec or Grett."

Yeah, obviously.

At least Ellie doesn't hold beef about the arm thing.

*Grett Voted Alec*

Aaaaannnndd the villains are turning on each other.

Idiots.

*Fiore Voted Grett*

Wait what are you doing?

"That game is the closest I'll ever get to legally shooting someone in the face."

Fiore you are a psycho.

*Alec Voted Grett*

"Now that we're exposed, we don't need you anymore."

Welp. Grett's gone.

Unless the heroes voted Alec...

'ALEC'

We know.

'GRETT'

'ALEC'

OH THEY DID VOTE ALEC. WAIT A MINUTE.

'GRETT'

THE HEROES VOTED ALEC. WHERE ELSE WOULD THAT COME FROM?

'GRETT'

...wait what?

'GRETT'

Wow. Didn't even need to read all the votes.

Who threw their vote on Alec then?

*thinks about it*

Jake, why'd you do that? There's no reason.

"I might be thinking about turning on the heroes, you know?"

*sigh* Queen's time to go.

"Fiore, Alec, even though you betrayed me, I won't lie. I had a good time with you."

At least she's taking this well.

"It will be difficult, but I'll try and take what you said to heart. I'll stop trying to prove anything to anyone. In fact... that includes you."

"FUCK ALL OF YOU. PEACE OUT!!"

😂👏

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSS

Queen Queen Queen Queen QUEEEEENNNNN

👑

SHE SLAYED TILL THE END

...LITERALLY

Immunity Idol Found (x2)

"I found the clue to the location of an immunity totem. It should be right here."

NO WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT-

Okay he doesn't know of her thinking about flipping, to be fair. But still.

"I sure hope no one STEALS this idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Ellie's gonna tell Fiore & Alec, "Hey guys, I know how to save you guys. Tom has an idol. Steal it from him and use it for the council."

That's definitely a plan!

CAN YOU TELL I'M PARANOID SINCE THE START OF THIS EPISODE?

"This is Golden speaking in your head. There are impersonal ways to play this game and save yourselves. You DON'T have to hurt Jake that way. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL give him slay pass and I WILL torment you the rest of this season!"

"COME ON! Why Jake?! What did he ever do to you?!"

"This is not good. That totem gives Tom more power than he already has."

THEN STEAL IT.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

A Compilation Of 'STEAL THE IDOL'

"I sure hope no one STEALS the idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Steal it from him and use it for the council.

THEN STEAL IT.

steal the idol from Tom when he isn't looking

OR STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL.

"But how would they steal the idol?"

And when they're gone, STEAL THE IDOL.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL FROM TOM AND FLIP

Okay. Steal it.

NO YOU DON'T. STEAL IT.

STEAL THE FUCKING IDOL.

You could've just stole the idol.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

STEAL. THE. FUCKING. IDOL.

So if you STEAL it

and steal the idol.

YOU COULD'VE JUST STOLE THE FUCKING IDOL.

She could've just stolen that motherfucking idol and all her problems would've been solved.

But you could've just stolen that godforsaken idol from Tom and you wouldn't have had to destroy anyone.

ME AND THIS IDOL HAVE BEEF, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

Episode 10 Elimination

Elimination already? Damn...

This is gonna be UGLY...

"I did my part. Now who are we going to vote for?"

You know what the weird part is? I don't even know how this benefits you guys.

Tom has an idol.

You didn't even have to gaslight Jake. You could've just stole the idol.

I'm pretty sure the game NEVER said that the person who got the idol was the only one who could play it.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

"Vote for Jake."

What?

Oh my god, what are you doing??

Why gaslight him then?!?!?!

"Jake, we need to talk."

"Fine. I guess I should give you a chance to explain yourself."

PLEASE. PLEASE TALK.

NOOOOO DAMMIT

Don't break them up, please... 😭🙏

"I don't know what's wrong with Jake this time, but I'm sure it was your fault."

YES. YES IT WAS.

So they are voting Jake...

So they're gonna keep their mouths shut and not worry about the idol?

I mean if they don't know Jake's in danger, they can't play the idol, right?

I THINK that's what they're doing.

"Wait. I have something to say to Tom."

...what are you doing?

"It's about Jake and all the drama surrounding him."

What are you doing? I thought you were gonna keep your mouth shut.

What's your plan? You WANT Tom to realize you're using Jake?

"Oh wait, shit! It wasn't Jake's fault this time! Welp, guess our alliance is back!"

But they already voted, so... goddammit...

"I care because it was all a lie."

"Ellie told Jake that Tom has a boyfriend and he was cheating on him. She kept them from speaking to each other all day."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?!?

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GASLIGHTING JAKE THEN?!?!?!?!

"Wait, what?! Is this true?!"

Oh shit now he realizes.

"Goddammit Jake, you promised you would talk to me this time!"

DID YOU NOT HEAR HER?! ELLIE WAS PREVENTING HIM FROM DOING THAT!!!!

IF HE COULD, HE WOULD HAVE.

WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD AT JAKE?!?!

"Tom, I didn't know! I tried to talk to you, but Ellie told me not to!! Please you have to believe me!!!"

HONEY NO...

"Why are you listening to her?!"

"I thought I could trust her. I'm sorry Tom..."

"And you didn't think you could trust me?! After everything we've been through?!"

💔

I mean, okay, that is valid. That is on Jake.

"Children, children, stop fighting please!!"

Aw Miriam 💔😢

"Wait, this doesn't end here."

OH MY GOD WHAT NOW?!?!?

"Tom, we know about your totem."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU WANT TO GET ELIMINATED?!?!?

"Alec, Ellie, and I voted for Jake. So if you don't use your totem to save your little dumb boyfriend, he's gone tonight."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?

SO YOU'RE ASKING TOM TO USE THE IDOL. WHY?!???!! THAT SCREWS YOU OVER.

Unless she's lying and she and Alec flipped...

But THAT WOULD BE EVEN WORSE.

You betray Ellie, YET AGAIN. You LOSE HER as an ally.

Unless you're trying to boot her and have her be 5th place. BUT THEN YOU HAVE JAKE AND MIRIAM AS AN ALLIANCE TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS. YOU DON'T NEED TO GASLIGHT JAKE. YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Just convince Ellie to be on your side to get her to flip, vote for who you want out, convince Tom & Jake to go do something that forces Tom to leave the idol behind...

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

THAT IS THE EASIEST AND CLEANEST SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS.

AND YET YOU CHOOSE TO DESTROY THESE PEOPLE INSTEAD AND MAKE THINGS TOO BLOODY COMPLICATED.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?

"I'm sorry, I just can't leave here 4th place. I know if I stuck with you guys, I'd never make the finals."

"And you decided you'd mess with my personal trauma just to get further in the game?!"

YESS!! BE PISSED!!!!!!! CALL HER OUT!!!!!

"You're screwed up Ellie. You need help!"

"Actually... yes."

*snicker* Okay, that was good.

"I don't ever want to talk to you again!"

"No need to yell like that."

UM, LET'S BE HONEST. I THINK JAKE DESERVES TO BE VOCAL HERE. HE WAS GASLIT BY YOU GUYS.

"Times running out Tom. What'll it be?"

Don't play it Tom.

They're tricking you. Don't play it.

Though that's kinda bad on his end, cause that'd be him saying "Nah, fuck you Jake. Go to the bus and drive it to hell."

"Tom, please, I know I've been bad, but I promise, if you save me, we can talk tomorrow and work things out!!"

I don't think that's gonna happen...

He's begging so bad here 😭

You screwed up Jake. You screwed up...

"What's stopping you from believing another lie they tell you tomorrow?"

Insert my rant before here.

"Tom, I get that you're mad at Jake, but if he goes, you and I will go right after."

No I don't think that's how it's gonna work...

My heart is HURTING right now btw. I'm actually shaking.

"Why are you so relaxed?! If Tom plays the idol on Jake, we're screwed!"

EXACTLY. WHAT'S YOUR PLAN HERE?!??!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE.

"Can I please read the votes people?!"

The host is just done with it...

"I'm going to use my totem to save Jake."

Aw....

Even after everything he loves you... 😭

No...

They flipped. They HAD to have flipped...

'JAKE' *DOESN'T COUNT*

Oh no...

*I'm burying my face in my hands to hold back wet eyes*

'FIORE'

They flipped.

She's so unbothered. They flipped.

'FIORE'

They flipped.

*DREAD* THEY FLIPPED.

Is the next one Tom?

'TOM'

I KNEW IT

I KNEW IT OH NOOOOOOO...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO😭

'TOM'

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I have a bad feeling... Jake voted Tom cause he was mad.

He was trying to throw his vote on Tom to save the trouble, AND IT BACKFIRED HORRIBLY.

'TOM'

*Buries face in hands again*

I can't... I can't... no...

"I wonder whose fault that was."

Yeah...

"Tom, I'm sorry, please, you have to forgive me-"

"SHUT UP."

"YOU AND I ARE DONE. DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN."

💔😭💔

Oh my god...

Oh my god no...

No...

Oh god...

So... I'm not welling up bawling or anything...

But I am SHAKING.

I am SCREAMING.

I am on the verge of CRYING.

I fell nauseous, so add THROWING UP on that list too.

I'm so upset.

I mean I get it, villains gotta villain, but holy shit...

They were doing so well too. They could've been so great together!

THEY COULD'VE GOTTEN CHINESE TOGETHER LIKE THEY WANTED

GODDAMMIT...

This is some shit Heather would do.

And did.

I mean... compare that episode to this episode as much as you'd like. I don't really care.

My heart is actually sunken right now.

That hurt.

I think this elimination broke me.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?!

Is Jake pissed? He's gotta be.

The Host's Crimes

OH HEY!

I thought you guys were eliminated! What are you doing here?

OH SHIT...

Um...

I didn't think we'd be dealing with MURDERERS...

Holy shit this just got a lot darker.

"When I found out at the hotel that Derek and Trevor were exterminating the animals in the forest, I was about to take justice into my own hands! But I remembered that the last time I tried, things didn't end well..."

"And how did you know it was them?"

"I may or may not have threatened the hotel receptionists so they would tell me the truth."

Oh my god Gabby, I love you XD

"I did all your spy work for you! You're welcome! Torture always works!"

(No it doesn't)

"I wanted to call the police! But with my record, I knew they wouldn't listen to me, so I remembered that you're a cop."

So Gabby's a delinquent...

Honestly I'm not surprised.

Also Tom was a spy, where'd you get this from?

"Then what are you? A ninja?"

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS ENTIRE TIME.

Me Getting Enraged Over Ellie Hurting Jake

Oh they made it. Cool.

Who gets the immunity though?

Talk it out? Please?

"Only one of us can win..."

"If you give this to me, maybe I'll forgive you."

Yeah, he does need it.

The opportunity is open, Ellie! Redeem yourself!

COME HOME. COME TO THE LIGHT. GET YOUR FRIENDS BACK.

"You know what? You can eat shit and die."

WHAT?!?!?! ELLIE NOOOO

NO YOU WERE DOING GOOD

WHY?!?!?!?!

"And 'BOO HOO, AWWW, I GOT CHEATED ON'. GROW THE HELL UP JAKE."

WHAT THE FUCK?! 😠

"You say you're a victim, but you're really just a sponge for drama. You feed off the smallest setbacks, acting as if the world's against you."

😠

"Tom probably saw it too."

DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT TO HIM.

"You have no right to shame me."

YOU HURT HIM. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!

"After you voted out Gabby, I never pulled this on you, cause I have some sense to not be a dick."

BULL. SHIT. 😡 THAT WAS FIORE AND ALEC.

"Maybe if you weren't so annoying, your boyfriend wouldn't have cheated on you."

*Paused the Episode on this frame*

...

So, this is being written TEN MINUTES after I paused the episode in that frame.

What happened in between that ten minutes was that I PAUSED the episode, got out of my seat paced around my room in rage, SCREAMED THE F WORD, I'm lucky my family isn't home at the moment so they can't hear me, and I left the room and paced around in my kitchen to calm down because I felt SICK, HURT, TRIGGERED, and ATTACKED.

Not the writer's fault. They don't know. But... OMG

YOU. YOOOOOUUUUUU

YOU CANNOT DO THAT

I am VERY EMOTIONAL in this segment if you can't tell.

YOU CANNOT SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

Maybe in a separate post, when I cooled my head, I'll talk about WHY this scene hurt me so much.

But my reason is not actually based off the characters. Roles swapped, I think I'd still react this way.

Bottom line is, remember when I said earlier that Miriam was calling Ellie out to help her?

THIS ISN'T THAT. THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE CALLING JAKE OUT ON HIS BULLSHIT', THIS IS NOT 'ELLIE GIRLBOSS MOMENT'. THIS IS SHAMING.

This is SHAMING someone with serious mental problems that need help.

This is not 'Oh, Ellie's ROASTING Jake right now, what a powerful moment for her! Hell ya, he deserved it!'

THIS TRIGGERED ME.

I actually KNEW this scene existed before I watched the show. But I had no context, didn't know what episode it was, didn't know when it showed up, and I didn't remember the exact dialogue. But it was in a clip of a reaction that was cheering for Ellie doing this.

I won't give names, I won't throw hands, that's not their fault if they see it that way. This is just VERY PERSONAL FOR ME.

I won't give massive details, because it's so personal, but why it triggered me? I HAVE BEEN THERE IN MY LIFE.

I HAVE BEEN THERE YEARS AGO, MULTIPLE TIMES, WITH MULTIPLE PEOPLE DOING THIS SHIT TO ME. Acting JUST LIKE how Ellie does here, towards me.

It caused me a lot of problems growing up. My family AGREED with the people doing that, so that was not fun. They said 'I needed to hear this. I deserved it.'

So I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. This shit does no favors to the person you're 'roasting'. If anything, this makes the behavior you're calling out WORSE. They act even MORE like this whiny bratty type as a way to cope with the thought that everyone hates them!

ELLIE. YOU CAN'T DO THIS.

THAT HURTS PEOPLE.

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S JAKE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU HATE JAKE. THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

YOU CAN'T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE.

I'm not saying Jake is innocent and doesn't deserve calling out. BUT, THAT'S NOW HOW YOU DO IT

EVERYTHING Ellie said in that was just... ANGERED ME. IT ANGERED ME.

I gotta calm down. I'm sorry. I gotta calm down. Peace.

Episode 11 Elimination

Oooooooohh god...

I'm actually feeling kinda hopeless.

I think I know who it is.

'JAKE'

Yeah...

'ELLIE'

Should've went for the gold.

'ELLIE'

'JAKE'

Aaaaaaaannnnnd I know Fiore's handwriting at this point.

It's over.

'JAKE'

*Long Depressed Sigh*

...I knew it.

We didn't get revenge. Goddammit.

"Whatever. I don't care."

"Spoken like a man who cares."

"Miriam, I'm so sorry to be leaving you. Maybe if I had taken things differently, none of this would've happened."

Yeah...

"Thank you so much for supporting me. Everything from my grandmother to Tom..."

Oh come on, don't make this sad for me.

"Don't fret, kid. I thought I wouldn't open up to anyone here. But you were patient with me, and taught me that I shouldn't judge people so quickly."

Yeah. He's chaotic like that.

"You may be down, but you're not out. Play your butt off Miriam. We'll see each other when this is all over, okay?"

Yes. Win for them, Miriam.

Awwwwwwww💗

...damn. I'm gonna miss that trainwreck.

Episode 12 Elimination

"You and I can also work together to become the final two after that."

GODDAMN. MIRIAM, YOU'RE COLD.

Okay, this is DEFINATELY a Survivor thing.

"You cannot grab the top with your hands and your feet must be on the line."

Oh. Okay. I was gonna say 'just wrap your feet around the pole' but you can't do that.

"Sounds easy."

"For you, yes, cause you're small."

But she's a child, wouldn't that make her less capable of endurance than Ellie and Alec?

How are you already slipping? We just started!

I say that like I would do better. I probably wouldn't.

NO MIRIAM

"You're much lighter than me. Do you think you can last longer?"

Oh you're not slipping and trusting Ellie, are you?

You're a dumbass.

"But unfortunately, I can't have us winning this."

YOU DUMBASS.

Does Ellie have my forgiveness for this???

Um...

That's a debate. First you apologize for the death threat. THEN we'll talk.

"What if they can't agree?"

"In that case, you and Ellie would go to one last challenge to decide who gets eliminated."

Oh really?

Is that what we're gonna do?

...or is Fiore gonna ditch Alec's ass? Did I call it?

"I choose Ellie. And I won't change my mind."

Okay.

"Well... I..."

Moment of truth.

She's gonna ditch him.

"Alec... I really liked you, and that's dangerous, because feelings are for weak people."

OH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH.

"I vote to take Ellie to the final."

I. FUCKING. CALLED IT.

😂

GET FUCKED, ALEC!!!!! GET! FUCKED!!!!!

"But after all I've done?! I protected you this whole game! I helped you win the zombie apocalypse challenge, saved your life in the cave, covered up your plans so no one would suspect you're a PSYCHOPATH, and you STILL eliminate me?!"

THAT'S ON YOU, YOU DUMBASS.

WHY WOULD YOU TRUST HER?!?! SHE'S A PSYCHOPATH! YOU KNEW THIS. YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.

"Yes, thanks for all that, but I don't need you anymore."

��😂👏

SHE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU.

WHAT DID I SAY?!

Yeah, she cares about literally nobody.

She WILL ditch these guys on the bus the moment she has the chance.

And she's gonna show no remorse doing it.

And when that happens I'm gonna be HOWLING.

WELL HERE I AM.

SHE DITCHED HIM, NO REMORSE, AND I AM HOWLING.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

I CALLED THIS.

"Oh come on Alec, out of everybody, you're the last one who should be talking about feeling betrayed."

GET. HIS. ASS.

"This doesn't concern you. Keep it to yourself, Ellie."

You betrayed her three times. She DOES get a right to say that!

See, THIS is a good moment of Ellie ROASTING someone who fucking DESERVES IT.

"Your parents were right about you. You are a mistake."

"Oh. I know. And I don't care. Oh, and I bet you'd know a lot about making mistakes."

AWOOOOOOOOOOOO

I do not feel bad for Alec at all. Let's be real. HE DESERVED THIS.

YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE PUT YOUR FATE IN THE HANDS OF THIS PSYCHOPATHIC CHILD. THAT IS ON YOU.

GOODBYE, SIR.

3rd Place

Oh yay, the demon child wins...

This is where Miriam goes.

YEAH THIS IS WHERE MIRIAM GOES

THEY'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT

AW, I'M SORRY MIRIAM. I WAS ROUTING FOR YOU.

"Tom... I... I can't go any..."

NO DON'T GIVE UP

"Wait... I need help!"

Wait what's happening?

"Oh... my heart..."

OH NO. WHAT?!??!

WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT?!?!

OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

YOU'RE GONNA KILL HER?!??!?!

NO THAT'S SICK. OH MY GOD. NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOO

DON'T KILL HER OFF, I LOVE HER. NOOOOO

NOOOOOOOO MIRIAM, NOOOOOOOO

CPR. DO CPR TOM. PLEASE.

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

LADY, YOU THINK?!?!?! SHE'S DYING.

"I can smell that million bucks calling to me."

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD WHAT

😲

I... I...

*AnalyzGolden.exe has stopped working*

...

... ... ...

So... let me get this straight...

She FAKED A HEART ATTACK TO WIN?!

... ... ...

😂👏

OMG THAT GOT ME

OMG MIRIAM YOU ARE INSANE

AND ELLIE'S OUT

😂👏

You KNOW this was done as revenge for Tom and Jake

KARMA IS A BITCH, ELLIE!!!!!!

Miriam used the slay pass! SHE ACTUALLY USED IT. I HAVE HER SLAY PASS AND SHE USED IT.

😂👏

THAT WAS SO GOOD

"What the hell was that?! After everything that has happened in this game, I lose a chance of fixing my life because of THAT?!"

I want to feel bad for Ellie, but I just DON'T.

OH MY GOD...

*struggling to calm down*

And the Winner Is...

COME ON MIRIAM

"NO NO NO! I WILL NOT LOSE HERE!! NOT AFTER EVERYTHING!!! MOVE YOU STUPID-"

OH GEEZ

UM....

IS SHE ALIVE?!

I don't necessarily care about Fiore's well being, I just don't want Tom to go to jail for child murder.

DON'T TELL ME THIS BLOW GETS HER TO PASS MIRIAM AND WIN

IS THIS A VILLAIN WIN?!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

OH THANK GOD.

...

I MEAN, IT'S BAD THAT SHE CRASHED IN FIRE, BUT THANK GOD SHE DIDN'T CROSS THE FINISH LINE...

God, I'm gonna have the police at my door now.

MIRIAM WON!!🎉

Deserved, honestly. That's a winner I can get behind.

The Hosts Get Arrested

*sirens*

Oh no XD

"TOM, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR ATTEMPTED CHILD MURDER"

"Vladimir Jensen, Trevor Mcgregor, and Derek Johnson. You are al under arrest for wildlife damage, destruction of protected property, and illegal deforestation."

OH.

OH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

THE COPS ARE DOING THEIR JOB.

"Well they really took their time, didn't they?"

I bet Tom is the kind of guy to say "COPS SUCK. OMG THEY'RE SO IMPOSSIBLE."

OH SHIT-

OH SHIT HE'S GOT A GUN

WELL THIS ESCALATED QUICKLY

"This is for killing the animals!"

😨

GABBY YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT-

😂

YES QUEEN!!! SLAY!!!!!!

NOOOO COME ON!!!!

COME ON DON'T PULL A HEATHER TO MIRIAM!

OH TOM'S GOING AFTER THEM HE'S GOT A HOOK IDK WHERE HE GOT THAT FROM THINGS ARE HAPPENING SO FAST RIGHT NOW-

OH GOD HE'S FIGHTING

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE

TOM DON'T DIE

OH NO

WAIT DID THEY DIE?!?!?!?!

OH MY GOD...

PLEASE DON'T TELL ME TOM DIED.

*cuts to black*

OH MY GOD...

What just happened?!?!

DID TOM DIE?!?!?!

New Host Reveal

Who are you???

"What happened to Jensen?"

"No one knows. They never found a body."

So he's not dead???

"How'd they let you run another season after this?"

Oh wait cause the old hosts got arrested, this is the new host. GOTCHA.

"What selection?"

"For the next season, duh."

Bring on the Season 2 cast.

"We need to decide the participants for All Stars."

Wait what? What about Season 2?

Does this take place AFTER Season 2??? Huh??? I am confusion.

#disventure camp #total drama #reaction #reactions #disventure camp miriam #disventure camp fiore #disventure camp ellie #disventure camp alec #disventure camp jake #disventure camp tom #disventure camp grett #disventure camp gabby #disventure camp trevor #disventure camp derek

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duckyfruitbat · 7 months ago

Text

I Play Spongebob Games for Content!

Last week I decided to dust off my PS2 and play some games, I then had the idea to tie it into this blog somehow. My eyes drifted to the bottom of my shelf and there were four Spongebob games I still had from my childhood. No reader I am not a masochist, I'm just a slut for pain. Let's not waste time and get right into it in the order I would've played them in growing up!

Revenge of the Flying Dutchman

This is the first one I ever had and also my introduction to the concept of saving a game. This one follows the story of Gary disturbing the Flying Dutchman's slumber and now Spongebob must find a way to put him back to rest. All the while the Dutchman starts taking his friends to be part of his new crew. I'm gonna say it here, this is the worst game out of the bunch. The controls are just floaty, and the jumping mechanic feels time consuming. The combat is awful, but I think the developers were aware of that so enemies often wait for you to approach, except for the stray snails they charge at you with full force. The character models are really rough around the edges, the worst one is Plankton of all characters.

This game is also doing something to my poor PS2. There are two loading screens back to back and I can hear my PS2 struggling and sweating just to load the inside of the Krusty Krab. It really should not be struggling with a game like this.

The weirdest thing out of this is that the eyes on the characters are individually animated. I don't mean the eyebrows, that would be normal and an easy way to make characters expressive. I mean that the pupils and iris's are individually animated. This only really works with the hypnotizing scenes as the characters are being kidnapped. It gives them a wibbly woobly effect, the effect works nowhere else. All the characters have a lazy eye and sometimes one eye just doesn't move in cut scenes. The game also has a few sound issues with the end cut scene having moments of silence.

Something really surprising is that I have not encountered a single glitch in this one. Props to the dev team for making it actually stable, Lord knows management didn't give a damn.

Battle For Bikini Bottom

Now here's an obvious edition to the list. This was the second Spongebob game I had and it was of course my favorite. It's one of those few licensed games that are remembered fondly and has a dedicated fanbase to this day. So much so that in 2020, the year of misery and hellfire, it got a remake for the modern generation. I played the Switch version for this cry for help that I'm calling a review, and it is what I remember.

BFBB is a standard collect-a-thon wearing Spongebob's skin, that is also fairly show accurate. Most of the voice cast is of course here, except for Clancy Brown, for what ever reason he wasn't in the original and he's still not here. At the same time it would be weird hearing the real Mr. Krabs in this game. There are plenty of good jokes here that have been immortalized into meme culture like Mrs. Puff smuggling stolen art works.

The levels are pretty fun, with plenty of missions and collectables in each to keep you busy. My personal favorite being the dream level that caps off with a joke from Patrick. The worst level though is the Kelp Forest, and it is painful. The stone tikis, and the caves are tedious, and I swear there is no way to beat Mermaid-man's sliding time without breaking the game in some way. I broke the game just trying to do a normal slide down. Honestly I think that this level could've been replaced by something else, maybe the boating school because that school has more appearances than the Kelp Forest.

Aside from my complaints the game still holds up pretty well, with the exception of the performance. I don't know if it's just the Switch version or just an issue with my copy, but as I was playing through it, I saw more and more glitches. At one point I was launched up into the void beyond the sky box, for no apparent reason from what I can tell. I mean I'd still play it again, this type of game tends to be my bread and jam.

Spongebob Squarepants Movie Game

This one was of course put out at the same time the first movie was making its rounds. It is what you'd expect from a movie tie in game, but only in the cut scenes. The cut scenes look and sound like a conglomerate of early drafts, concept art, and unused voice lines from the actual movie. The in game cutscenes are perfectly fine, so I was wondering why they didn't just use that the whole time. Then I remembered that this was probably made on a massive time crunch to make the movie release date. The game itself was made by Heavy Iron who also did Battle for Bikini Bottom, so they share a lot of assets with movie themed additions. Playing through both this and BFBB, it's clear that the enemies were just re-skins of the robots. Even the enemy introductions use the same formula.

Gameplay wise it is just like BFBB minus Sandy, with all the same attacks returning as well. The levels are fun enough, I remember spending a lot of time in Goofy Goobers, just listening to the silly music. The trench levels always peaked my interest, except for the bits where you go into so sort of angler fish, that was a little weird. In the end if you just want more BFBB, this is the game for you if you can look past the cutscenes.

Creature From The Krusty Krab

This was the standout surprise out of the bunch, this game suffers from not enough time and resources, but the creativity behind it is admirable. It's based on the dream episode where Spongebob is bouncing around everyone's dreams. It is a standard level progression system but a handful of these levels have unique art styles that are pleasant on the eyes and pretty creative. The first level is Spongebab having a Twisted Metal racing dream where everyone is drawn with intense expressions while Bikini Bottom is a diesel punk design. The second level is Patrick dreaming about being his self insert character for a super hero comic book, and the town looks like it was drawn in a comic book. Planktons dreams starts out as a pretty standard side scroller before becoming a monster movie, and from then on it is just the monster movie. Spongebob's sections have the most variety, starting as the race level, then he gets eaten by an alaskan bull worm and his next level is in there. What is with these games and having levels inside creatures, is someone into vore? Patrick ends up flying on a rocket in space and

Back to the monster movie bit, this is where the budget really went, it's on the box, it was in the marketing, it is a third of the game. It really worked backwards from the idea of giant kaiju Plankton. Starts with rampaging as Plankton, then Spongebob is flying around trying to find some way to stop him, then Patrick teams up with Mermaid Man to finally take him down. Each one has its issues but also I had a good time with it. Here's something interesting about this game, it has three endings, one for each character. They only unlock if you collect all the little goops for Patrick and Plankton, so a good reward if you like exploring levels.

Playing through this game, it had a lot of potential. No really, if it had more time and resources it could've been a pretty great game. There's mostly a lack of polish, there were a couple of minor bugs when an attack didn't hit when it should have. There were a couple of animation issues, the mayor character glides across the screen, some characters have their feet merging with the floor, and others are really stiff. One thing that was I found annoying was the characters talking a lot during gameplay, all the above have that but this one should have dialed it back a bit. Beyond those issues, this game could have been great, maybe on the same level as BFBB.

Conclusion (It's Passed My Bedtime)

So what did we learn from all this? That my opinion on BFBB was basic and expected? That I may be a masochist? Well yes, but I have found a couple surprises here, like with Creature from the Krusty Krab, I had no expectations going into that one. I had the least expectations for ROFD but it somehow didn't cause a fire despite its efforts, and the movie tie in was just a spin off of BFBB. This is making me reconsider the pile of licensed games festering in the corner, I may have to dig through it to see if I find any hidden gems.

#duckyfruitbat #gaming #spongebon squarepants #retro gaming #battle for bikini bottom #ps2

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