#relevant not only bc of that reply that just posted but bc I have like two more in the queue
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a doc of omega yamo being a nuisance, you say?
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well…
#the doc sure does exist 🤷#me waiting to post this until i had compiled all the tags into the doc so it wasn’t just the empty doc i started with good intentions#that just said ‘yowling’#and then me not even doing that 😭 what’s in the doc right now? absolutely unhinged shit from ANOTHER yamo post. why#liv in the replies#anon i love you so much. this is the correct method to get me to do things (be interested) (bully me a little) (i have to write FOR someone)#maybe if i actually write something for omega yamo being a nuisance i will post snippets#and not have to create elaborate rules about posting them. also i keep telling myself it helps to be like. home & functioning to write#& maybe if i chilled the fuck out a little bit i would have the time to do fun things i like but i feel like i have been saying#‘ok once i get through this [semester/summer/working/class/season]’ for like. three years now but also i don’t feel like i have stopped ever#in my life so that may also be part of the issue. anyway! in the mindset now that i have to make time for things that bring me joy/creative#because otherwise there will never be time#but also telling myself that like. i work seven days a week 8.5-9 hours a day plus commute/classwork so it’s ok to only be able to come home#& do Adult Tasks & write my coursework requirements & ALSO i’m doing my fucking applications which i really really need to do & should take#priority & i am going to need to work very hard to do because. i don’t want to do them :)#so!!!! this is your daily tag dump on a post which it is not relevant to (on brand for me)#but also the point was to say thank you i love you please have 0 expectations because i don’t want to disappoint you#but i love your encouragement and am not taking it to be any pressure!! i just have to preface bc i am like this
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anyone: do you understand?
byan: dO yOu UnDeRsTaNd? literally fuck off
#relevant not only bc of that reply that just posted but bc I have like two more in the queue#where they're asked that same question so I've been thinking about this a lot#but they find that question worded in that way so. damn. patronizing.#it makes them feel really small in a way?#probably bc they've had it shoved at them in very angry & aggressive ways throughout their childhood#made to feel like some idiot kid who doesn't know anything & needs to be beaten over the head to get anything through#so they automatically get really hostile with anyone who uses it#even if it's not used in a patronizing way. even if it's someone they're close to asking.#this is definitely a weirdly specific thing to be so fixated on but it's been on my mind since I started writing all my drafts#and now that I've been reminded of it you all have to read it#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.
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ー ★ !! STRANGER
pairing : matt sturniolo x fem!reader
synopsis : having been dared to kiss a random stranger, you're the first person matt choses to approach
a/n : guys ive been needing to write another fic so badly that i got this prompt off of pinterest and i'm completely winging it (this is a cry for help. pls send reqs bc i'm running low atm.)
i hate how this is written & this is prob the worst thing i've done on this app but i need to post something so ur gonna read it anyway !
wc : 2.5k
nick, matt, chris, nate, and madi are currently on an expidition to the mall. they hardly ever hang out as a complete group, so everyones moods are sky rocketed from the simple fact of them all being together. it honestly doesn't matter what they're buying or where they are. they'll all have smiles on their faces regardless.
"i'm surprised nick isn't trying to record a video right now." chris says as the group enters a random clothing store. "it's one of the very few times we're all together and everyone is in good moods. nick would normally take advantage of that."
"just say you want to record and move on." matt grumbles, walking over to one of the racks to flip through the t-shirts on display.
"i don't want to record! i was saying nick probably would!" chris tries to defend himself, earning weird looks from everyone due to this very clearly being a lie. chris lets out a sigh when he realizes that nobody is believing him. "whatever. i'm just saying that i don't think we should waste the opportunity to make good content. the fans love nate and madi."
"woww," madi says sarcastically, feigning offence, "you're just using us for content?"
"oh, shut up." chris replies, dramatically rolling his eyes at her teasing. madi giggles and takes a sip from the cup of lemonade she got from lunch earlier today at the food court. everyone else already finished their drinks, she's the only one with anything leftover from the meal.
"i didn't bring the camera anyway." nick says with a careless shrug, causing chris's jaw to drop with shock. "i wanted this hangout to be authentic. just everyone laughing and smiling together as a group. no cameras. no new friends. just us."
"since when did you ever leave the house without your camera?" chris asks him with his jaw still hung loose on its hinges. "it's practically glued to your bag at all times."
matt finds himself zoning out of the conversation as he looks around at the clothes. their argument about recording is only relevant to him if they decide that they are going to record. otherwise, it's unimportant and frankly quite boring. and now that nick admitted that he didn't even bring the camera, the conversation is no longer of interest to him.
they continue to stay near the front of the store, nick and chris arguing about the camera predicament while nate and madi laugh at them from the sidelines. but matt strays away from the group. he has about eighty bucks he brought with the intent on spending it all today. well, at least half of it or more. so he begins to get distracted with the task of finding new clothes to add to his wardrobe.
he made a mental note before leaving the house that he wants more hoodies since the weather is started to get colder. knowing this, he wanders over to the back of the store. he's been here enough to know that there's a rack of jackets and long-sleeved shirts in the right corner beside the employee exit door.
matt flips through the clothing. he wants more bright colors in his closet. most of his hoodies are black or dark grey. nick said that his wardrobe looks like a funeral home and he needs something more lively. but nothing here seems to catch his eye.
"need help finding anything?" a random female voice asks him. he turns to face the sound and sees a worker standing to his left. you. and lets just say you definitely catch his eye — unlike any of the clothes you're selling. he likes the style of your hair, the color of your eyes, the shape of your face, the bridge of your nose, all of it.
damn! matt's never been this whipped for a random stranger. it's normal for him to find random girls attractive in public, but something about you is making him unable to take his eyes away yours.
"okay? i'll take that as a no." you say before turning on your heel and leaving. as soon as you walk away, matt feels the urge to call out and stop you, but he doesn't know your name. he was too busy admiring you to read the tag on your uniform.
he lets out a sigh before walking back across the store and rejoining the group, his mood now soured completely. when he walks up to his brothers, nick turns around with a camera in his hand, recording.
"what the hell?" matt says. "i thought you didn't bring it."
"he lied so he didn't have to film." chris says with an eye roll. "but i didn't believe him. so i dug through his backpack and guess what! i found it sitting on the very top, fully charged."
matt just nods, not having anything to say to that. plus, now that he's in a bad mood it's be best to stay away from the camera so his bitchiness doesn't ruin the video. he feels guilty for being like this while everyone else has such high spirits, but he can't help it. he embarassed himself in front of the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. there's no coming back from that.
the group exits the store and they begin to wander around. they're looking for a sunglasses store for nate so he can buy a new pair seeing as he broke his last ones while leaning out of the window of the van. the slipped off of his face — never to be seen again. but nate claims he needed new glasses anyway due to how old and scathed those ones were.
"you okay?" nate asks. the fact that he noticed matt's fatigue takes him by surprise. matt wants to continue sulking in his soured mood, but when he looks at nate's genuine worried expression, he can't help but confide in his friend about the events from earlier.
matt tells him about how he was looking for a jacket when you approached him. you came up so casually as though it meant nothing to you, when it meant everything to him. matt describes you, accentuating your beauty to paint the picture as well as possible. he tells nate that he feels like he's being dramatic, but he can't help it. i mean, you're a complete stranger whose name he doesn't even know. and yet he can't take his mind off of your guys's short interaction.
"i wish i had some wise words of advice for you, but i don't." nate says. "but judging just by the way you talk about her, you need to get her number or something. i've literally never heard you talk about a girl like that. you're fuckin' whipped, man."
"i agree." matt says. "but how the hell am i supposed to get her number when she's a literal stranger? i don't know anything about her."
"you know where she works." nate points out.
matt thinks about this for a moment before deciding that nate's right. he knows where you work and that's more than knowing nothing. someones job says a lot about them — how much money they make, what means a lot to them, etc. i mean, he's not the type of guy who gives a shit about your income, but if he wanted to know something about you, he could easily find out a lot.
"lets buy your sunglasses." matt says, confidence slowly overtaking him now that he doesn't feel like this whole thing is hopeless. "then, we can all go get a snack at the food court so i have some motivation to go talk to her."
nate agrees and hurries to catch up with the rest of the group. matt does the same, rejoining everyone now that his mood is boosted once again. they go to the glasses store and nate picks out a pair that he likes. the whole time, matt is back to normal. everyone notices the shift in his demeanor, but they decide not to point it out.
after nate purchases the glasses he chose, matt tells nick that he's hungry. madi agrees with matt, saying she could eat something seeing as it's been a few hours since they had lunch. not thinking much of it, nick agrees to go to the food court.
"fuck." chris says, sitting in the plastic chair beside matt. "i didn't know they had mozzarella sticks! if i'd known that, i would've gotten them too!"
matt just shrugs, eating another bite with a smug look on his face. chris shoots him a glare and scoffs, turning back to his cheesy fries with a frown. just as chris is about to insult matt, nick and madi come over to the table with their food. nick is still carrying the camera around, filming everything for their next blog. most of what he's filming will be edited out, but he's still taking the footage just in case.
as they all begin eating their food, nate — who had been using the bathroom for the past few minutes — comes back with a slushy and a small grin. he sits on the other side of matt with a weird look on his face. matt gives him a strange look and nate just giggles and looks away.
"i'm bored guys." nate says. "we should play truth or dare."
"okay." chris agrees easily. but nick shakes his head, not thinking this is a good idea. but chris insists. "c'mon, it'll be good content. plus we're not gonna do any stupid dares that will get us in trouble or anything."
when matt and madi take chris's side, nick has no choice but to give in play the game. his only condition is that he gets to ask chris first, and he has to pick dare. chris agrees to his terms.
"i dare you to say yes to everything i ask for the rest of the day." nick tells him with a sarcastic smile. chris rolls his eyes, but has no choice but to do as he says.
"can i go next?" nate asks excitedly. it's supposed to be chris's turn next since he was the one who did the dare, but nick answers dow him. he nods, letting nate go ahead. and chris can't argue since he has to say yes to whatever nick wants. nate grins widely and continues. "matt, truth or dare."
"dare." matt says without hesitation.
"i dare you to kiss a random stranger." nate tells him with a grin. "they have to be in the food court, though."
"what the fuck type of dare is that?" nick shouts. "we're not bringing random stranger into this! plus, isn't that against some kind of law? kissing random people can't be fucking legal."
matt is about to agree with nick, saying it's a horrible idea. but he notices nate flicking his eyes back and forth between matt and someone over his shoulder, gesturing for him to look at them. matt turns around and follows nate's gaze to find you sitting alone at a table. you're wearing your work clothes, sipping on a smoothie while scrolling through your phone.
matt changes his mind in an instant. "it's my dare, nick, not yours. so fuck off and play the game like everyone else."
with that, matt stands up from his seat, causing the legs to scrape against the tiled floor beneath it. he awkwardly approaches you with a giddy smile. god, he feels like an idiot. he feels like he went back in time to when he was a child, getting nervous to talk to literally any girl on the playground.
he stands in front of your table and clears his throat to get your attention. you look up at him and raise a brow in confusion. "mind if i sit down?" he asks, pointing to the chair beside you.
"go ahead." you tell him. you're still confused about who this guy is as he sits down at your table. he's attractive and seems sweet, but who is- oh. as he runs a can through his hair, you remember who he is. "you're the guy from the store. you were the one who stared at me instead of answering."
matt feels his cheeks heat with embarrassment. that's not the first impression he wanted to make. but at least you remember him! it's better than you not knowing who he was at all.
plus, you're not talking to him in a weird way. you're smiling as though you find his awkwardness amusing rather than strange — which it is.
"that's me." he says. matt glances over his shoulder at his friends only to see that they're all staring at you guys intently. chris waves him on, urging him to hurry the hell up.
"they're nosy." you say with a laugh. "i'm assuming they're your friends. otherwise, i'd be extremely creeped out."
"uh, yeah." matt says, looking away from chris to refocus on you. fuck. every time he looks at you, he's taken aback by your beauty. like time seems to slow when you guys make eye contact. "listen, they sent me over here as a dare. i'm supposed to kiss you."
you laugh at him for a second. but then you realize he's not kidding. he's being serious. "god, take me on a date first." you tell him sarcastically. matt laughs, but is still pretty serious about the dare. you feel weird agreeing to kiss a stranger, but it'd be even weirder if you were to say no.
not to mention, the boy beside of you is insanely attractive. it wouldn't be such a bad thing to kiss something this hot. "i'll let you kiss me if you agree to give me your number afterward." you tell him.
"i would have asked for it anyway." matt says with a teasing smile. knowing you have an interest in him as well gave matt a boost in confidence. and you honestly think that his confidence makes him even more attractive.
he leans forward and you do the same. you were expecting a small smooch the way little kids kiss at recess, but this guy went all in. he places one hand on the back of your head to tangle through your hair while the other hand cupped your cheek. the kiss was passionate and needy. and you fucking loved it.
when he broke it to catch his breath, you felt deprived of something more. you were practically craving this guy you met only a few minutes ago.
matt smirked at you before you guys exchanged numbers. you were still distracted by the fact that you guys nearly made out in the middle of the food court to process what was going on. as your confidence left, his was refilled.
"i'll come back to your shop before i leave the mall." matt says. "maybe next time i'll actually catch your name before we make out in the storage room."
@kasqnxx @lvrsparadise @prettysturniolo @strniolo @urmyslxt @cupidsturniolo @opheliaofficial07 @thetriplets3 @sturn1olo-ffics @uhnanix @deadxrx @kitaysworld @lovelysturniolo @wilmalovegood @ladylokilaufeyson5 @sturniolopepsi @strnilolo @knowingnothingnoel @its-jennarose @lea0518 @slaysturniolo @sturnlover @tcvazq @ifilwtmfc @poopydroopt @cl0esblogg @ellaynaa @itzdarling
#luvsturniolo!!#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader
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"Why does Gohan have to go through an arc where he has to protect the planet/people from evil dickheads and maybe hopefully finally learn that he can't always count on his dad to save the world, and that doesn't mean he has to sacrifice the peaceful life he wants all the time? Why can't he stay more or less irrelevant like the rest of the modern DB cast who isn't Goku or Vegeta? You're not actually a fan of Gohan if you want his character to have depth and contrast!"
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Gohan "fans" don't want him to be happy.
#OP restricted replies and posts like these drive me mad so i had to reblog to comment on it#these gohan takes remind me of my mlp days where fans complained that fluttershy kept having plots where she had to be more confident#and just totally missed the point those episodes were trying to make#DBZ fans will complain that its just 'The Goku and Vegeta Show' (which is fair#super is so insufferable for that </3)#but whine when it tries to make its secondary protagonist relevant bc they didn't do it the way they wanted aka: with no real conflict#also because gohan is an incredibly complex character who's defined by his desire to equally live a peaceful life#as well as protect those he cares about?? either with his great saiyaman persona or not??#its why i hope gohan (and the other characters) is an actual main character in daima#i want him to finally realize he can have a balance in life as a normal earthling and a saiyan and not just rely on his dad to save the day#apologies if this ruffles feathers but yall will not turn my son into a boring softboy who only does slice of life shit
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So, I could be out-of-bounds here since I think you meant it as dark humor, but what did you mean in the tags of that 'israel-hamas war' post? I suspect you(and op) are criticizing that framing because Israel is obviously demolishing much more than 'Hamas'(and probably doing a terrible job of actually targeting terrorists- they seem content to reduce Gaza to rubble even if the brass of Hamas escapes). I'm guessing that by saying "joining the Israel-Hamas war on the side of Hamas" you mean, if they're going to conflate Palestinians with Hamas unilaterally, then you're saying, whatever the media wants to call Palestinian civilians- you still support them. I am asking anyways though bc, given reports of increasing antisemitic activity in the US and Europe, I am worried about the potential for blurring lines between the cause of Palestinian civilians and the alt-right individuals who are likely masking their antisemitism in the context of being anti-Zionist. Although Israel's government has been the source of Palestinian loss for decades, (it seems to me that) even joking about supporting terrorism is enough to reinforce the persuasion that Israeli/Palestinian Jews and Palestinian Arabs must be mutually-exclusive peoples. I don't think it's fully rational per se(tho I'm not claiming to have all the relevant information myself, and I'm white US American goyim so like- grain of salt-), but I think that existential fear is the incredible hurdle facing Zionist Jews. (Idc too much about the opinions of non-Jewish Zionists bc I don't grant that they are dealing with the same emotional complications at this time, although that doesn't stop me from arguing w my acquaintances abt their callous acceptance of US/Israeli propaganda.) I just think..... isn't it overall harmful to allow anti-semitic rhetoric, even used sarcastically, to enter the genuine humanist cause for Palestinian liberation? Or, have I misunderstood, and you actually are not in opposition to Hamas, or something else I didn't think of?
hi! thank you for approaching the question thoughtfully and with curiosity, i really appreciate it. i was being kind of flippant with that meme, but this is the only ask i'm going to reply to on the matter given that i am neither jewish nor arab, so i'm going to answer in earnest:
hamas is a political resistance movement with an armed wing, much like the black panthers party was, and like the bpp, a large part of the organization is dedicated to social welfare and civic restoration.
they have stated that they are not against judaism, but against the zionist project. they openly support political solutions.
labeling hamas a terrorist group is a propaganda tactic used by the united states and israel to justify the horrors of settler colonization.
hamas is palestine, a part of it, even if palestinians like any other demographic on earth, are not a unified, single-minded people. to declare hamas a separate entity falls prey to the imperialist lie that there is an enemy to fight "fairly" within the people they are displacing and exterminating.
am i rejoicing in the deaths of israelis? of course not. killing civilians and taking civilian hostages is a war crime, whether it is committed by the opresor or the oppressed. the israeli government is not its people, and many jews, within israel as well as in the US, are bravely risking their lives to publicly dissent the criminal acts of the israeli government. all loss of human life is a tragedy.
no one should ever be faced with the choice between annihilation and murderous violence after exhausting all other forms of peaceful protest and being massacred like animals.
but why is it that we consider a resistance group formed within a population with a median age of eighteen a terrorist group, and not the IDF, a US-backed military force with an annual budget of twenty billion dollars?
i am currently reading hamas and civil society in gaza by sara roy to learn more about hamas and the history of israel in palestine. i'll remember to post more excerpts which i am admittedly terrible at.
but all of the information above can be found by reading wikipedia. investigating with duckduckgo searches (not gonna pretend google isn't prioritizing propaganda, to be fair), and reading reliable news coverage like aljazeera and the many journalists who are at risk of, or have lost their lives, reporting on the ground.
i have also appreciated reading posts from @determinate-negation @opencommunion @fairuzfan @ibtisams and @bloglikeanegyptian amongst others
in conclusion:
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Hi!! I just wanted to say that the way you draw characters/use colors in your art is an absolute dream, I've never seen anything prettier. Do you have a specific way you pick/use colors, or any advice for coloring? You inspire my art so much, and I'd love to learn how to color like you someday :)
@braventheninth gonna reply to both of you here hope that's cool!
aaaah thank you so much I'm really honoured to hear you both like it and that it inspires you anon !! ;v; I don't actually know much about art theory-wise, aside from very basic colour theory that I always forget so most of my choices are pretty instinctual and based on my own preferences!
i can do my best to explain my thought process though! uuh it is. lots of text though just as a warning.
one thing I tend to do with almost everything is pick what kind of colour mood I'm going for! usually, since I love orange and also warm feelings, I'll aim for some kind of warm tone and when doing that I try to slide every colour I pick towards the warm end of the colour wheel. Blacks and whites are especially good for this! As a general thing I almost fully avoid picking any colours along those edges of the colour picker
instead I'll move all my colour choices a nudge into the square for the colours towards the tone I want (in this case warm) (the white is there be warm too I just forgor to type it).
and since I wanted warm colours for this drawing I desaturated the blue of Brain's pants so it would fit in better. I once heard someone say you should always pick one main colour and saturate fully and the further away from it on the colour wheel you got, the more desaturated your colours should be. I don't really do that bc I like my colours to stay bright but I do keep it in mind to mess around with sometimes.
I'm not always great at keeping this consistent, but I think it usually makes for pretty decent results... Other things I keep in mind are that when I pick the colour for my shadows I always make a little slide on the colour wheel towards the opposite tone of what I based my main colours on. oh and picking the right base colours ?? no clue tbh I always put every colour on it's own layer and then I spend a couple minutes adjusting them all seperately until I feel like they go well enough together. I usually avoid the bottom to right section of the square fully, bc I find they often get oversaturated and muddy, but that's just a personal preference I guess.
also since I enjoy the way coloured lineart works for my stuff I tend to mess around with layer settings for my lineart! usually the end results will look something like this:
where the clipped layer is clipped on to my colours folder. lineart is the only place where I just use plain black since I'm gonna change it with these layer settings later. it often still shows up as black for darker colours (and especially blues?) but it keeps a slightly coloured edge that I enjoy. if the blacks of the end result don't look good, messing around with the layer opacity usually changes stuff up. sometimes I'll also erase part of the lineart from one of the layers as a way to adjust.
I think what might be more relevant though, is the way I've been picking my colours for most of my recent posts though, which is. very differently. and also quite dependant on the fact I've been drawing on Tegaki! Tegaki has a limited colour palette that looks like this
only the 6 colour slots next to the bottom greyscale can be replaced by your own colours. As shown here I only bothered to add something to half of them; mainly the beige-ish colour I like to use for whites, a brown that I never use bc it's ugly with everything else here and a purple? that I only Think I added. both the brown and purple suffer from being too desaturated for the rest of the palette, which makes them stand out in a pretty bad way when used tbh.
I have. absolutely no idea what I'm doing with colours on this site though ngl. I think it just automatically pushes you to be a little more chaotic with the choices? a simple example is the green I picked for Link's tunic here doesn't really have any good, easy choice for shading imo. most of the "darker" green tones just feel more saturated, and it sticks out pretty bad as a shading colour for the more muted green I picked for the tunic. Removing those, the choice was either a mossy green or a blue.
and while the mossy green is still green, it feels far too dark a shading colour compared to what I picked as shading for the rest of the drawing. The blue has the added bonus of being closer to the purple I used for the black-ish parts.
I think my point is that it's really easy to push yourself to make some fun new choices when the tools you're using limit you a bit in a way? Looking at it now, I'm also seeing that the hands were lined with very different colours. I remember just thinking that I couldn't be bothered to find the exact same purple I used for the first hand so I just went with the first thing I landed on, that being a pink. But now I think it works pretty well since the one hand is lifted a bit more into the light and that goes well for a bright colour like pink. happy accidents and all that right ?
I am fully just yapping at this point 🧍 but the point still goes for most things drawn on this site.
like there was no reason to add the blues or reds or pinks to the heather here but I only had so many purple shades to work with. it might be less realistic but I don't think it would've come out as well if I had stuck to only the purple shades from my reference photo.
This ended up way way too long and I have no idea if any of it made sense or was helpful at all, but it was surprisingly fun to reflect on my own choices a bit more! especially since I often just do whatever I feel like I think it's helpful to sit back and consider what instinct actually tells me it's the right thing to do.
in an attempt to do something actually helpful uuh I recommend messing around with 2 specific things and switching around with them a bit; namely limited colour palettes (like 1 or 2 main tones imo) and then just going absolutely ham and just using whatever colour for everything (make them orange! put some blue and purple on the bark! leaves can be blue if they want to! (go more ham than I did tbh))
I think just messing around does so much for making some kind of sense of colours even without Knowing how they work. it's easy to say we should all study, but personally I'm pretty bad at it and it's more fun to just trial and error it... errors do happen a lot though omg do they happen, but that's helpful for figuring stuff out too!
#ask#when I called myself Yappinator 2000 on bsky this is exactly what I meant shfdiuhsdf#feeling a little sick and should've probably slept early instead of figuring this out but it was rly fun and relaxing actully!#considering how bad I've slept recently ending the day with lots of quiet pondering might be just what I need haha#I should probably get the triangle colour wheel so I can lessen all those colours I don't like to use but I'm too used to it being like thi#too tired to have imposter syndrome too tired to overthink whether I make sense. it's quite nice actually#I hope at least some of it will be helpful or fun :)#almost started overthinking anyway I am pulling myself back by the scruff and off to bed#sleep well everyone whenever you do <3#also. totally no secret tegaki agenda here totally 👀 it's totally not like I think everyone should at least try that site haha no waay#it's only full of cool and nice people just like here and you can draw silly comments to each other#and also runs better on chrome than firefox wink wink......... spleepy time..........
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So I got accused of racism and basically called an idiot for trying to point out a flaw in someone’s argument. Not cool.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e42b88b6331709d3c9c2c7bb35dac206/40d20dc4ad737cb2-45/s540x810/09ec8dea4c7740682c32d0883d9b0b4c0d664e26.jpg)
If anyone cares to read this thing, can they tell me what they think? I need other opinions <3
First off, like an utter buffoon, in my anger I blocked them before I could screenshot my replies, so you’ll have to take my word for it. If you know my account at least, you’ll know I’m not and have never been racist, or idealized the baby sister Cass trope (in fact, I detest it).
I see this meme talking about the usual: people™️ wanting Cass to fall into negative stereotypes bc it’s cute or whatever, and the op gallantly pulling up a panel in which Cass displays the opposite.
The flaw with this one was two things: the panel they chose was Helena Bertinelli in the Batgirl costume, speaking in full sentences, and it was captioned “… and she can talk perfectly well.”
Of course I don’t think Cass is some little helpless baby because “aww she can’t talk she can’t read” that’s disgusting. What I do think is that going all the way to the opposite end, saying “no Cass is perfectly fine she can talk fine she’s not impaired in any way” is ableist. Is that wrong?
Cassandra is a disabled woman, and I think that saying things like “she can talk perfectly fine” is just a bit canonically incorrect. It’s straight up denying that she has a disability, if you ask me right now. BUT.
In newer issues, where Cassandra is older, and has worked on her disability more, she’s shown to communicate in full sentences and such. It would be different, to me, if they had a picked a panel from any comic with her that came out in the last 5 years where she CAN talk well, and it’s not Helena Bertinelli in her costume.
So, I’m arguing with this person. My initial reply was just me saying that the panel was Helena, and Cass didn’t exist until later and didn’t talk until even later, with citations. I was being petty. Definitely ended up being a mistake. I apologize.
The op then replies, and I paraphrase because this happened a few minutes ago, that they have writers privilege so they’re right and I’m wrong, that my citations were incorrect because—oh my gosh—the Helena panel wasn’t a comic titled No Man’s Land, even though I said “No Man’s Land V2”, not the specific comic, and that I’m not as old as the comic, because that’s relevant/s.
They were grabbing every straw in the bale. And here’s where I messed up: I replied. I was snarky. I told them they were grabbing straws, and I thought their argument was flawed, even though some of it was correct.
A MAJOR POINT THOUGH: in my last reply before this lovely message up top, I concluded that I thought their argument was FLAWED even though their point that people shouldn’t infantilize Cassandra was CORRECT.
Apparently they didn’t read it before responding to it, they were just so excited to point and yell “I’m big you’re little” that they didn’t see my response in which I very clearly stated that I did not like or support that trope.
Ok, I’m tired. In conclusion, I recognize now that trying to argue with anyone online is beyond stupid and will only get you called names and shouted at behind blue light. I apologize for being petty, and not just letting a (minor, in the grand scheme of things) note of ableism go and continuing on with my night. From here on out, I’ll know to never post any critical comments. It’s better for everyone to just remain calm and scroll past what you don’t like. Call this a learning experience.
My goal here is not to get any sympathy, it’s just that I’m pretty much always unsure if I did or said the right thing (in this case regarding the content of the argument, not the fact that the argument was had), especially online, so I want to get some other perspectives to tell me if I was horrendously wrong or not. This persons comment rattled me, and I know I messed up, so I want to know what someone else thinks of the situation. I also don’t want to be known as a bad person in case op had the same idea, so this is my side of the story.
Anyway, thank you if you reply. Have a good day/night.
#cassandra cain#dc comics#dc#batgirl#tumblr drama#the talking to assholes kind#if I wake up tomorrow and it turns out I was way wrong I’m gonna die/gen#anyway#it would be awesome if someone could read this and tell me if I was way wrong#that would definitely help for future references if I was#sigh#this just made my whole night#just the false accusation that I like that trope made me about crash out tbh#also their tone like it’s giving Mrs. Trunchbull I’m right your wrong I’m big you’re little and such#I wish we were a civilized fandom and could talk to each other#summary of this is just I went erm actually and op crashed out on me#sorry the end
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(BTW I'm very down with wanting sapnap being dead for being sapnap I just wanted to be sure I was hip qirh the kids and pissed for the Correct reason)
DLSKFLSJFSKF SORRY I WAS OUT TOUCHING GRASS WHEN YOU SENT ME YOUR FIRST ANON.
Also in hindsight I worded this answer like you have 0 clue who Shartnap is but I'm gonna keep it that way for anyone who sees this and Doesn't Go Here At All.
Here's a good overview post abt Crapnap from my friend.
This Specific Instance we're wishing death upon him more than the default amount because he's participating in Squidcraft, a Latino-made/hosted and primarily Latino-played Minecraft competition with a big cash prize. (Aka that irrelevant ass sweaty ass racist Texan is literally only playing to win more money he doesn't need. He also won last year's SC 🙄). Last year there were a few non-Latino players (like him), but this year there were a BUNCH, most likely thanks to the existence of QSMP. There were Americans, Brits, and French just to name a few!
My mutual @pixiecaps has been the most outspoken on my dash about the dumbshit being in Squidcraft, so I'll tag them here and they can add any additional context they see fit in the reblogs or replies. They might have insight or perspective that I don't bc they're Latino and I'm not. 👍🏻 And this was baby's first Squidcraft for me purely bc QSMP members were in it, so idk much abt previous ones whereas Pix might.
It's annoying enough that Crapnap is in the competition at all, but yesterday a bunch of other previous DSMP members (Philza, Tubbo, Foolish, to name a few) all died in one of the games together and were thus eliminated. Shatnap's petty nobody poopy ass was literally CHEERING when they all died, which is poor sportsmanship for one (he has none tho let's be real here), and two: No Toxicity is one of the competition rules. So by all means, he should be investigated by the Squidcraft mods and (hopefully) disqualified for his bullshit.
And some additional context bc my guess is this all plays into why he was so outwardly toxic like that: Tubbo has outspokenly hated the Dr*m Team for a while now. He also had direct beef with Shatnap bc the dumbfuck tried migrating to Kick (basically Twitch for bigots & predators, to say the least).
AND, most relevant and recent: Philza was just on Tommy and Jack Manifold's podcast Shut Up I'm Talking about a week ago, and on the Patreon version of the episode the three of them talked about how Dr*m is a piece of shit, they all hate him, and how nasty and weird he was behind the scenes during DSMP, especially to Tommy.
Dr*m Team 100% knows this was all said, bc a) some of it was clipped ofc and b) Dr*m fucking posted the DSMP world download as damage control after people started talking abt what was said on the episode bc god forbid he look bad and get negative attention for 2 seconds. He's been begged by numerous people for LITERALLY LIKE 3 YEARS to drop the world download and only JUST did it to do damage control and make himself look all good and innocent or At Least distract people (spoiler alert: didn't work, he just made himself look even more pathetic. He basically gave the people who correctly hate him a gift in addition to clowning on him).
Shartnap literally lives with Dr*m, so there's no way he doesn't know Tommy, Jack & Phil have spoken some of the truth TECHNICALLY PRIVATELY. IT WAS ON PATREON BEHIND A PAYWALL.
Soooo yeah. As usual, Dr*m Team fucking sucks ass (many such cases, no one is surprised). Crapnap is the ""last remaining"" of the Dr*m Team to not have some Extreme horrific controversy and that's what keeping him able to be in competitions like this, rather than isolated to a shitty corner with the other two dumbfucks. (CLARIFICATION: He DOES have controversies. You can assume what some of them are based off of things said in that post I linked. Plus the Kick thing. But in comparison to Dr*m [a groomer, among other things], and George [sexual predator, among other things], Shatnap is ""the least awful"" of them, which is almost definitely why he's still ""welcome"" in competitions like this one).
Additional silly context: I'm calling him variations of shit because he openly admitted sometime earlier this year that he shit himself (or at least sharted) on stream.
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if i may confess something. i think its great that the xiv fandom specifically is so oc friendly (probably bc its the only game ive been into that leans really far into customizable protagonists like this). but oh my god i do not like it when i am talking (about anything, honestly) and a stranger replies with how it's relevant to their wol. me seeking out people's oc lore because they intrigue me is very different from taking whatever im saying and going 'this is about my character here is all their lore right now'. i am not a springboard for the creative endeavors of people i dont know unless i explicitly agree to do so. i do not like posting my silly little thought and having it immediately be derailed by someone who didn't bother to read it well enough to understand that it was not an invitation. sometimes i'll even post a rhetorical question to highlight something about the worldbuilding or system and i'll still get people replying to me earnestly about how their hyperspecific wol lore gets around this even if i highlight that it's a rhetorical question and the specificity of the information offered makes it a moot point. wanting to talk about your oc is fine just maybe do it on your own post and not mine. evergreen ot3 post abt how internet strangers do not want to be approached with information about your oc unprompted.
#xivposting#nothing specifically prompted this its just a feeling ive had abt this fandom for a while#awesome that this place is so open to exchanging oc info#but its supposed to be a mutually agreeable experience. strangers doing this to me is not mutually agreeable
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in another episode of Burns talking about TGED without reading the novel and only focusing on the webtoon as source material
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can we talk for a moment about Kim Suho and his Best Friend whose name I do not know (if it was mentioned before, pls lemme know)??
Now, I tend to focus a lot on the imagery of the narrative, like I mentioned before, since in the webtoon we do not have literal text to describe actual scenes, it has pushed to take its liberties on how it develops.
We have seen it on the mayor differences between N!Javier and W!Javier. (I was told.)
With that being said, my current theory in the matter is that Kim Suho is NOT a reliable narrator.
What do I mean with that?
SPOILERS,
(I will not post screenshots bc of spoilers)
In today's CH, we begin with a flashback of Kim Suho meeting w his rich Best Friend who he invites to the bath-house.
Now, Suho mentioned before on a previous flashback that his Best Friend invites him to eat out a lot just for the mere satisfaction of showing off his money. And while it's absolutely hilarious to think so, I do believe it wasn't the case.
In this new memory, Best Friend offers him the service for free, shaking Suho a lot, he questions him and the replies he gets are pretty simple, 'my mom owns the place', 'I'm helping her today', but all of that while he's making a very wicked smile.
This gave me the realization that all of this sequence is strictly within Suho's POV, which we can interpret the whole interaction was actually twisted to fit his narrative.
There's a high chance that Best Friend is doing all of these things out of real kindness and bc he does care for Suho.
But bc he refuses to believe ppl does things out of nowhere (like himself), he is convinced that he's being mocked.
For Suho, it has to be that way, he can only receive any kind of help as long as there's a 'catch', just the same way he gives help.
It also makes him upset to understand that his Best Friend knows his schedule well enough to show up at the proper time to ask him to hang out. Which in retrospect, is not that weird.
With time we all get to know when friends/family get off and on to work. It's not rocket science. But bc Suho is not making that same effort for his Best Friend, he assumes that that's the norm.
Why is he doing all of these things? Why does he know when he's free? How does he know he needs to relax?
Bc those are normal things to know of ppl one's close to.
But for Suho, he doesn't take that as relevant to give effort to. So much that he doesn't understand the simpler answers to those questions because he, himself, wouldn't answer them normally. They have to be negative.
Now, this made me believe that he's not being properly truthful with these memories, since he's convinced that all of these 'kind' actions were made w the idea of being mocked by.
After all, regardless of what was the memory, it's extremely normal that ppl will retell a story to fit their narrative.
In this case, that Best Friend just wanted to be entertained with Suho's struggles.
Now, this doesn't seems to happen when it comes to Javier, and the answer I came up for that might be a bit painful. Unconsciously, Suho probably still sees Javier as a fictional character and not a real person. So to give him effort doesn't seems wasteful since he's not 'real'
After all, this story falls into the same gender as Isekai, 'escapism'. So Suho wouldn't have a problem to blend and care for the new ppl around him bc they are not real. They are part of his escapism. Ofc I'm sure that is changing bc he's now seeing the family and home as his. It's just matter of time when he understands that he's actually building proper interpersonal relationships.
That's all I have for now, good night.
ps, if you don't agree, just block me and move on LMFAO.
#the greatest estate developer#tged#spoilers#tged spoilers#lloyd frontera#kim suho#character analysis#analysis#burnstalk
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Hiii so I just saw ur post and ask reply about proshipper antis and ocd and I wanted to give my two cents because idk I'm like self important or something? But I do think I have a good perspective as someone who's never truly affiliated with proship or anti proship (I'm also not a huge poster or anything so.)
I've been diagnosed with OCD for most of my life and also have been a victim of sexual violence, which is only relevant because when I was younger I had a debilitating obsession with being "found out" as someone who consumed noncon and proship content. I was really disgusted with it while simultaneously consuming and writing it myself, albeit privately which I thought made it "more okay". It took me a long while to leave this mindset because, as most ocd obsessions are, it was not congruent with reality. I feel the trap that a lot of people fall in to is within the labels of pro or anti, that there must be one or the other. Mainly people will label themselves as anti because it's, to me, an elitism of morality that only serves to detriment their own values. (Ie if you're pro-morals then you should seek to understand and rehabilitate, if you rlly think some kinks are so horrible that anyone who enjoys them needs to change.)
I've found that in the real world, among my friends who are on irl kink communities or who I just candidly discuss these sorts of things with, most don't have starkly pro or anti mindsets. I think it's strange that the very common mindset of "I'm really not into it but it's none of my business" is labeled as proship online. Ive never heard an incredibly anti sentiment be expressed as outwardly as it is online, because it's really just socially inappropriate to judge people's personal thoughts like that irl..? All that being said, I believe that if there wasn't this loud anti proship discourse online, I would have not been so distressed with my private thoughts before I was in recovery, and really the intensity with which these "thought crime" ideals are expressed only serves to make more people label themselves as proship. People generally don't like being judged for intimate things, shocker.
Valid experience and good opinions, anon :D
Tbh, my experience is kinda similar, though not exact. I always felt guilt for anything I enjoyed in fiction and that includes virtually all my kinks since they are mostly all fiction due to me being aspec! I think my guilt stems from religious trauma tbh. It’s a sin to be happy after all! Must be the devils temptation /j! Growing up in fandom, seeing people online saying all these things I enjoyed actually made me a bad person caused me feel like I was dirty. That there was something wrong with me for actually really mundane things. And my OCD fed off of that like a leach. I still to this day can’t let people borrow my phone bc my OCD tells me that people will do or say nasty things to me if they find out. “Find out” meaning that they see the fanart and fanfics that aren’t even on my device that I looked at somewhere in the past (not even recent!). Wasn’t until the last four-ish years where I realized that was dumb lol. It was a long journey of self acceptance that I still struggle with today. It’s hard to get past mental illness, but you can live with it and still be happy! It may never go away, but you can absolutely learn to tell your brain to stop being dumb as fuck!
Like, why would I be kicked out of my house for watching South Park as a child? I wouldn’t have been, but my OCD brain told me shit like that all the time! I’m not bad for having fun! Neither is anyone else!
I absolutely agree with you that labeling the normal response to seeing something you don’t like, or meeting someone who likes that thing, as “ok not my thing but good for you ig” shouldn’t be a “proship” thing. I don’t like the pro vs anti divide all that much. But in reality, that’s how this internet argument is taken and seen. It’s rooted in it from a fandom history perspective (as lame as it sounds when I say it lmao). Normal people in real life don’t care about internet drama, and they don’t care what a proshipper or antishipper is. I honestly feel like a lot of people forget that, but I see a lot of people on the anti side of things applying their internet opinions to the real world. That’s why I’m concerned. I see a lot of antiship people dropping irl friends and spreading label against them too, and it’s not a healthy mindset or way to live. It’s fine to not have the same tastes, even being uncomfortable with someone else’s tastes. But I don’t think it’s healthy to worry so much that it affects your real life like how I see a ton of antis doing. Life is uncomfortable and it’s full of people who can make you uncomfortable. But life isn’t black and white, and people/things that make you kinda uncomfortable with certain things can also be things you could care less about. I know so many people in my life at least who I just don’t talk about certain subjects with for that very reason, but we are still great friends regardless of our differences! And they aren’t “bad people” either lmao
Proship vs antiship never should have been a thing. Imo, you’re either an asshole towards others for stupid reasons, or you aren’t and just agree to disagree unless someone’s causing real harm! Proshippers can be assholes just like antishippers sometimes lmao, so those aren’t synonymous!
#tw sa mention#tw religious trauma#asks#proship#profic#anti anti#profiction#anti censorship#anti harassment#kink mention
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Thoughts on TBB s2 finale
Spoilers under the cut. Most of this is a compilation of thoughts I’ve previously expressed on twitter and discord so nothing new to some of you perhaps! Disclaimer: I still love the show with my whole heart and greatly respect the hard work of everyone who worked on it, so please don’t hate on the show in replies and comments to this post. Either keep it to relevant constructive criticism of the narrative and thoughtful analysis/discussion, or make your own posts, thanks
Idk I was just left.. hollow after s2 finale of tbb, like, there were no upsides/positive stimulating moments? It didn't leave me with an excited feeling for what's to come, more like "this is very bleak and miserable, I want s3 purely in the hope of it getting better somehow". I really was expecting some sort of catharsis from tbb s2 finale but got the complete opposite. It's a tell that something didn't work for me when I got no inspiration to draw anything tbh. S1 finale was confusing and not all that happy too but it left.. idk, something to be hopeful about, something affirming to it, amidst all destruction and separation. I wonder what s3 will look like with this sort of a cliffhanger. Unless they somehow resolve it in the first few episodes of the next season, the whole format would have to be changed, no more one-off adventures between the main plot heavy episodes etc. Regarding Hunter and his complete lack of emotionality and motivation outside of his relationship with Omega, at this point I seriously can’t tell if the writers are purposefully writing Hunter in a way that makes him come off as, well, failing as a brother and a leader. All I know is that after each finale, s1 and s2, I’m left with a desire for him to own up to his mistakes to grow. I love Hunter a lot and I enjoy flawed characters with good hearts. But when they mess up, I want the narrative to frame it such, and for them to grow from there. Otherwise it’s just inconsistent writing. At this moment, I feel like Hunter needs a “redemption” arc as much as Crosshair, as far as family drama and letting each other down goes. This is why I was so happy when it seemed like they’d finally go to rescue Crosshair specifically (welp.) They needed to do that imo, Hunter most of all, he needs to own up to leaving his brother behind once and for all and actually *do* smth about it. Was it understandable when they had to flee and couldn’t come back for Cross before they knew about the chips and arguably after? Absolutely. Doesn’t change the fact that Cross was left behind and got hurt, doesn’t make it better. So even if Hunter’s decision is justified, his lack of regret over his brother getting hurt in the process is not. I can see him repressing it all bc that’s Hunter, he is the king of repressing his emotions for the sake of moving forward, but his issues do not excuse him, and I want him to gain awareness and grow past these issues. And speaking of Crosshair. It’s so weird, structurally if nothing else, how the previous few episodes built up all these emotional stakes over Crosshair, specifically his withstanding intense torture from Hemlock meant to break him just to protect his siblings, only for the finale to completely drop the ball on it. Tech sacrifices himself on a mission he specifically urged Hunter to go on because “Crosshair is still our brother” and then Hunter is like “yeah let’s not waste Tech’s sacrifice and forget all about Crosshair, okay?”. It made no freaking sense. S1 finale left me confused & unsatisfied with the way characters reactions didn’t fit some of their previously stablished experiences and narrative arcs. S2 put things in perspective for me somewhat, so my best hope is that s3 does the same to resolve my confusion over s2 finale. When it comes down to basic story break down, the core theme of TBB gotta be either about a family coming together, or it is about a family separating, one way or another. Until s2 finale I was convinced it was about coming together but now.. “We don’t leave our own behind” seemed like a clear set up for the coming together theme. Now it feels almost like a misdirection, an ironic twist to subvert our expectations or mb to explore how old convictions/priorities of these characters crashed against new realities of life. And now that they’ll never truly be able to be a whole family again (allegedly), my hope for the main theme to circle back to a family coming together in a satisfying way has been critically diminished tbh. I think it could still work with someone dying, but def not like this. Even if everyone else survives and sticks together and Cross comes back, he’ll never have closure over Tech’s absence, for example. There will be no satisfaction for us as the audience in his brother’s sacrifice on a mission to save him, no pay-off. Then what is the point? A character death is a very powerful tool within the story, so when it happens, it needs to be done extremely right to hit the right emotional chords and not just cause frustration. What frustrates me, personally, is not the factual death of a character in the canon version of the events, but when the presentation and use of it makes no sense to me in the story but the writers are trying to sell it to me as if it should. Then I feel like I’m being emotionally manipulated and nothing makes me feel more betrayed tbh. I can come up with an infinite number of explanations for Tech’s survival. It’s incredibly easy to suspend my disbelief and just say “somehow he survived”. But if the creators themselves actively try to beat me over the head with their insistence that no, it happened and I should be sad over it, nope. That’s telling, not showing. If you want me to feel strong emotion, make me, don’t tell me that I’m supposed to be sad over a character dying just because you decided to kill them to make me sad. As for Tech’s status, the whole Schrodinger Tech situation is exactly the same as Cross’s chip in s1 finale. Everything in the narrative (Hemlock bringing his goggles is sus as hell, 100% reads as hints at him recovering Tech and then lying to Hunter to manipulate him) points to it being one way (Cross’s chip still affecting him, Tech surviving) but knowing the writers, my gut tells me it’s exactly what they say on the surface with their words and he’s gone. I hope I’m wrong because the way this death was handled is meaningless and closes so many possibilities, like I mentioned above with the family coming together in a satisfying way etc. It just doesn’t work for the story beyond cheap emotional shock value imo. So here we are. I decided to chill until s3 and hope things will make sense as the story progresses and the intentions of the writers become clear. Right now they sure as hell aren’t.
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what is your concern with the bots exactly? like i don’t understand what is actually wrong with them.
If they were just passively following, they'd just be a minor annoyance - inflating my follower-number and making it much harder for me to know for certain how big of an audience reach I have here (which is relevant for me to know bc I am a professional working artist - social media, even Tumblr, matters for my work life). But bots following you is usually only the first step. Once they've followed, the pattern is to start replying/messaging people who interact with my post, spreading whatever garbage it is they're spreading. Meaning, my blog becomes a node in the spread of their bot-nonsense. Suspect off-site links, spam messages, etc. So it's not just in my interest to report+block bots and potential bots - it's in everyone else's interests, too. Idk about you, but I don't super enjoy having my DM inbox filled with dozens of porn bot messages.
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you’re behind the post au askblog right? not looking to send character related asks here btw figured i should state my intentions first thing ^^
just curious as to how you kickstarted it? you closed off the inbox first thing bc you got so many asks, and i’m just curious, was there a buildup before you started it? or did you just make the blog and it happened to catch the right tags for a lot of people to latch on. :)
asking bc i wanted to start an ask/doodle blog of sorts myself and have close to no clue where to start ^^
though ofc, don’t feel pressured to answer me, i won’t be upset on anon or anything if i don’t get a reply lmao. have a nice day/night!!! <3
Yes I am!! I appreciate you clarifying, I admit I got a little nervous at first ghdsjkfsd
I did make a post here before I posted anything in the tags on the ask blog in case any of my mutuals or followers wanted to get in early with asks. I thought since I have a decent amount of followers on this blog (like 1.5k? jesus) it might be a good place to get the word out
But in the end I only got maybe 5 or so from doing that, and the rest (OVER 50) came from me making the initial prompting post and putting it in the appropriate tags.
I'm by all means no expert (this is my first time running a blog like that), and I'm working very slow to avoid burn out and just let myself have fun, but honestly an initial post to get the word out in the tags and introduce the theme of your ask/doodle blog is all you might need! The more characters relevant to your theme in the initial post, the better (more tags to post it in!)
#I think thats really all there is to it#At least in the DR fandom- as vespertin-y said we're all so hungry for it ghdsjkfsd#although I would say I might have been boosted a bit extra by the fact that I have a lot of mutuals in the dr fandom..#but still. 50 asks. holy hell#Good luck and have fun with your blog!!#pluto answers
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You don’t post as much about criminal minds or post as much writings about Hotch anymore like you used to, did something changed for you or is it more just that you’re busier and less focused on Hotch and cm as a whole idea because I feel like many a fandom user that used to be very active is not anymore and it makes me sad but I only want to understand better of why this is,
Also sorry for bad english I have been learning slowly more from writings
im gonna try to reply to this coherently although its a multi factored situation
i am busier, im trying to get back to my studies and i got laid off from my most steady freelance job which means worrying about money and trying to get more clients
im also trying to maintain a healthier routine, and doing that while also keeping my hobbies is really hard as a neurodivergent for some reason
i very much still love hotch and still think of him and of plots for him every day almost, but im going thru a very harsh writers block that is preventing me from writing, which sucks, and writing less means i post less fics which makes me feel disconnected from the fandom, so i end up feeling like my writing isnt really relevant anymore, and whenever my older fics get traction its always only likes so
i havent posted a lot about cm overall bc i had no means of watching it since amazon prime took the first 8 seasons off their platform, now i dooo but i started rewatching x files and im pretty into that at the moment
overall i think its just temporary things
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Hiatus Announcement
//I've alluded to it before but now I'm actually verbalizing it so!! Hiatus announcement be upon ye!! More specifically, a 'pseudo' hiatus, where I'll basically be putting entire blog on 'request only'— I'll prob keep lurking, likely keep posting About my blorbos, absolutely keep any threads, but... Gestures.
Tl;dr, because I'm not good about talking About feelings, and to try and talk about it would make me feel like I'm guilt tripping etc etc: I'm extremely low spoons, and about as low confidence, so I don't have the energy to be proactive and 100% initiate like... anything.
And it'd feel misleading to say 'oh I'm not on hiatus :)' as if I'm on full activity when I'm... not!
If you initiate stuff I'll return the favor and babble back, up to and including just asking me to do xyz (blorbo babbles, inbox raiding, etc)!!
(Edit/PS: As always my discord's available to moots, @/nethernor_i, but since I'll be lurking tumblr IMs also work as usual!!)
(Edit 8.4.24: Just to state the obvious for obvious's sake, again: PLEASE INITIATE/DM/ETC if you want anything!! When I say request only I mean it and so outside of that I'm gonna presume you're not keen on me / us doing anything.)
EDIT / UPDATE (8.7)
I said I wasn't gonna talk about the why's of my hiatus but I can't stop thinking about it and it's not not relevant to share even if it can't be helped so: that'll be below the cut since it's insecurity / vent / negative adjacent :')
Tl;dr, though: I don't feel comfortable here on tumblr anymore and that's what's impacting my activity / presence / confidence / etc, not just universally low spoons across the board. When I came back it was for sake networking for rp and making friends Through rp, but at current it's fizzled out and i'm much more comfortable focusing on private rp / rp groups than on here
(But if we have preexisting threads on here I won't drop them, juuuuust don't be afraid to add & poke me on discord to lmk when you've replied<3)
(again, this is below the cut for vent/negative/insecurity reasons, so if youre not up for that dwai) - any further Regular updates will be put above this section lol
idk I feel the simplest and most 'objective' way to put it is that my intent of 'keep dash tiny and small and palatable to prevent getting overwhelmed' is severely biting me in the ass bc it leads to extremely like... disproportionate? desires of activity??? where I'm looking to get lots of activity from (for example), like, ~5 people, but they are both not looking for turbo activity with me specifically and have interactions with 20+ people they're looking to keep up with (if, not necessarily, wrt longform rp) — on top of all the once-very-active moots that have dipped off into the void entirely, not just wrt ~our rp~
and like... subjectively??? i have like no sense of relationship decay, but exponentially horrific emotional permanence (the thing that lets you know you're cared about even when ppl are not directly talking to you or the like), and combined with the negative feedback loop of 'low confidence -> low activity -> less confidence bc less activity ->->' ???
it creates a very very Not Fun mix that makes me feel alone and lonely, like i'd be ignored even screaming in a crowded room, and feeling like what interactions i Do get are moreso an after thought or pity rather than reciprocated enthusiasm.
and its like. idk. it feels like law of diminishing returns but also w at least five secret spices of guilt about it—whether it's because i'm not 'trying hard enough' to 'earn' the 'attention', or because i'm 'blaming' ppl for the completely lighthearted nbd act of just... not making me a 'favorite' and making me feel 'entitled/spoiled' for just missing people
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