#reincarnation is my favorite angst
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“…and I told you of your past lives, every man you’ve ever been. It wasn’t flattering, but you listened like it mattered. In the next one, will you find me? I’ll be the boy with the pink carnation pinned to my lapel, who looks like hell and asks for help,
and if you do, I’ll know it’s you.”
— We’re In Love, boygenius
Movies listed below the cut.
Tombstone, Born on the Fourth of July, Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, Far and Away, The Last Samurai, George and the Dragon, Spartan.
#top gun#pete maverick mitchell#top gun maverick#tom iceman kazansky#top gun 1986#icemav#reincarnation is my favorite angst
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Going through my favorite webtoons, my recommendations are (in no particular order):
The Tyrant's Sister
The Villainess Flips the Script!
Mother's Contract Marriage
I'll Save This Damned Family
Marriage of Convenience
Saving My Sweetheart
Bring the Love
Seducing the Monster Duke
Little Miss Sidekick
My Father, the Possessive Demi-God
Honorable Mentions:
I've Reincarnated Into a Handmaiden!
A Talented Maid
Your Ultimate Love Rival
The Fantasies of a Stepmother
A Wicked Tale of Cinderella's Stepmom
Villains Are Destined to Die
For Better or For Worse
#rambles#all of these are/will eventually be romance#looking at my list of faves though i honestly didn't.... realize my taste in romance and relationships were like....#more relationships of equality haha#for the most part independent and a strong (not feminist strong) mcs#and male leads that for the most part let the mcs do what they want#the mcs are not necessarily women that can do anything and everything falls in their favorite#they're not necessarily headstrong or super smart or calculated#the relationships are not necessarily heavily skewed to one side of the other#i-if u ignore 'what it means to be you'#don't read that one if you dislike angst and no comfort but like the payoff is sooooooooOOOOOOOO GOOD#the honorable mentions are things that i generally did like but had flaws in some way#but still otherwise pretty good#the 'mother's contract marriage' and 'my father the possessive demi-god' have actual non isekai'd/reincarnated kids as the mc#the first one the mc is absolutely lovable and cute but not in a forced and annoying way. you can tell she's a kid but she has depth#the second one is like.... wow. i love the bond between the sisters in the second one and just mc in general. i just really it a lot
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Til The Sun Turns Black
SYNOPSIS: Your soul is bound to his and you're destined to follow him across the multiverse. When the TVA finds you and sends you to the Void, you feel your chance of finding him has slipped through your fingers. But what you find there is more than you bargained for.
PAIRING: Worst!Wolverine x fem!reader
WC: 13.1 k I apologize for nothing
WARNINGS: smut 18+, mdni, mentions of drinking, angst, peril, some fluff, implied age gap (I guess?), mental trauma, miscommunication, Wade being Wade, dirty talk, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, cowgirl, missionary, cock warming, sex with feelings, unprotected p in v
A/N: Thank you so much for all the love on Soft Edges! I was not expecting that kind of response when I posted that story, so thank you <3. I had the idea for this story in my head since after I first saw the movie. I had no idea my one random runaway thought would turn into this. Also, this story would not have been finished if it weren't for @joelsgoldrush. She let me tease her for WEEKS with this and act as the ultimate sounding board. And she's overall just a delightful human being and I'm so glad I've found her.
The TVA agent sits staring at you, an odd and uncomfortable smile on his face. Like he isn’t quite sure he knows how to smile but had seen it once on TV. You also don’t think he’s blinked in the past several minutes. It makes your eyes water just thinking about it.
“I don’t understand why I’m here.”
“Ah, yes, well—“ the agent clears his throat and smoothes a hand down his chest. “You’re a threat to the multiverse.”
You squint your eyes at him and wonder if you’re lucid dreaming. Or trapped in some bizarre fever dream, but you can’t remember being sick. “The…multiverse? As in, more than one universe?”
He nods once. “Precisely.”
It’s your turn to stare as absolutely none of this is making sense. The morning had started off normal—wake up, shower, coffee at your favorite local corner store. You had barely finished your latte when you were apprehended and taken to this bland room by a man who must own insane stock in eyedrops.
“You see, we’ve been watching you for quite some time,” he continues, oblivious of your growing confusion. “A handful of reincarnations, actually. And we believe we’ve finally pinned it down.”
His words sound insane.
You were a low level mutant at best. You’ve been able to deeply sense and influence emotions in others since you were six—a standard empath if there ever was one. But reincarnation?
“Reincarnations? I’m sorry but—”
You feel it coming then, that all too familiar prickle of deja vu creeping up your spine and setting deep in your brain. The room begins to soften, the corners blurring and you feel disjointed, separate from the you sitting in the chair.
“Ah, see. We’ve pinned it down.”
The world tilts on its axis and your mind explodes into brilliance, the memories of hundreds of alternate versions of yourself firing down your synapses, leaving you as raw and exposed as a fresh wound. The pain is all consuming as you gasp for air and desperately try to quell the throbbing in your skull.
Your hands grip the edge of the table, desperate to clutch at something solid to root you in reality as the kaleidoscope of memories swirl before your eyes, colliding and merging with one another. All the timelines converging down to a single point of existence within your mind. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve experienced this process, the return of your memories—the return of your consciousness—was always accompanied by a torturous sensory overload.
“You see? You have extensive knowledge of the multiverse. And that kind of knowledge is coveted and dangerous.”
Your vision blurs as the memories keep slamming into you and you can’t help the primal scream that rips from your lungs, the pain in your throat a welcome distraction from the torture in your head. And then, amid the chaos, a single figure emerges in crisp focus, a face you’ve seen thousands of times.
“Logan.” His name comes out in a whisper, your voice trembling.
You know he’s not actually in front of you and instead a mirage, a figment of your overloaded neurons, but his presence calms you.
“Yes, Logan. You two are quite fond of each other.” The agent stands and you squint up at him, wanting to be anywhere else as you regain your memories. “But never mind him. We can’t have you traipsing around with all that knowledge in your head.”
“No, no, no, please. Please just let me find him,” you beg, hating the desperation laced in your voice.
The last thing you see before being sent out of existence is his creepy, uncanny smile.
+++
The Void was bullshit.
It had been a month since you were unceremoniously dumped here.
Maybe.
You weren’t really sure.
Time had no meaning, each day seeming to stretch on for eons and simultaneously in the blink of an eye. And for every single one of those moments you’d been focused on one of two things: finding a way out and not dying.
You quickly learned you had a better chance at survival if you stuck to the outskirts and avoided others. So you squirreled yourself away, sheltering in an abandoned cabin and hoping beyond hope you could figure out a way out of the desolate cesspool you found yourself in.
Figure out a way back to him.
Back home.
+++
You don’t venture out unless you have to.
The Void is full of phantom emotions left behind by its previous inhabitants and the cacophony overwhelms you. Rage, terror and despair so thickly envelope every surface you feel like you’re choking. It’s beginning to wear so harshly on your nerves you wonder if you might actually go insane here.
There was a tension growing in the Void. You’d heard whispers of unrest within the factions, Cassandra hungry for something to sink her teeth into. The undercurrent of rage has increased in the last couple of days and it’s enough to set your teeth on edge.
Stuffing a backpack with a few essentials in case you get stranded, you ready yourself for a supply run. The thought of leaving the perceived safety of your cabin has little appeal, but you’ve been putting it off for far too long. There was a small cache only a few miles from your cabin that other survivors kept stocked with extra provincials. You were hoping for something good, anything other can canned food or cereal. Or Spam.
Tightening the straps on your backpack, you take one last glance around before stepping out into the forest. It’s eerily quiet, no birds or animals chattering to fill the silence, just the crunch of your shoes against fallen leaves. The Void has always felt oppressive to you, the air just a little too heavy, but there’s something lingering today that makes you feel on edge. Your skin prickles with anticipation and you pat your belt for the knife you’ve stashed there.
Just in case.
You’re half a mile away from the cache when you feel it—the inky slick of anger. It catches on the air and wafts towards you in waves. You slow your steps as you approach the road and come to a halt when the battered van comes into view.
Your breath hitches in your throat.
You’d recognize those claw marks anywhere.
Your heart races as your eyes trace the deep, jagged cuts gouged into the metal and the large swathes of blood coating the ground and what you can see of the interior of the van. Instinctively your hand tightens around the hilt of your knife and you crouch down low behind a fallen log. You scan the area for any signs of movement and find none, but you know Logan is stealthier than you and wouldn’t give up his location willingly.
The van door creaks open on its battered hinges and you inhale sharply as Logan stumbles out of the vehicle covered in dried blood and sweat and more knife wounds and bullet holes than you can count.
The sight of him ignites a spark of longing that blooms in your chest and makes you physically ache. You can feel him. Your lips remember the hungered warmth of his mouth against yours, the way he’d nip at your bottom lip so you’d open up for him. Your skin remembers the calloused rasp of his hands and not just the greedy grabs when he needed to claim you, but the light brushes of his fingertips against your palm as he held your hand, just to remind himself that you were real. Your nose remembers his scent, woodsy and clean, like the earth after rain.
Shaking your head, you push down the memories and peer back over the log. A slight breeze wafts through the air and you watch as he sniffs, his head turning in your direction.
“Fuck,” you curse lowly, trying to crouch further out of eyesight.
You hear the metallic snikt of his claws and your pulse quickens. There’s no point in hiding—he knows you’re there. You take a slow, steady breath before attempting to focus waves of calm in his direction, hoping to ease some of the anger wound around him.
His eyes lock onto yours, sharp and predatory and he shakes his head, trying to keep you out. “Who the fuck’re you?”
You draw back your power and raise your hands in surrender as you slowly rise to your feet. You toss out your name and silently hope for a spark of recognition. But he doesn’t know you. Not yet.
“It’s not safe out here alone,” you start, moving out of your hiding place. You walk towards him, his eyes following your every move. “There’s a cache just up ahead—”
The atmosphere shifts without warning, the anger you’d felt previously now melting into thick, cloying fear and desperation. You can taste the ozone and the hairs at the back of your neck stand on end as electricity sizzles across the sky. Glancing up, you see the dark, swirling mass of Alioth just beginning to form.
You look at Logan, panic racing along your nerves. “I promise I’ll explain everything to you later, but I know you, Logan, and right now I need you to trust me.”
Alioth’s presence is getting stronger and drawing closer, and every drop of tension and rage swirling within is beginning to weigh down on you, threatening to suffocate you.
Logan’s eyes narrow, but there’s a slight twitch in his jaw and you know he’s considering your words. His claws retract, but his muscles remain tense, coiled and ready to attack. You grab for his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin and the hard muscle beneath your fingers. “We have to go. Now.”
For a moment, you think he might resist. But then with a low curse, he follows you, his stride matching yours as you lead him towards the cache. The trees blur by, the wind picking up and beginning to toss leaves and loose branches into the air.
You’re operating on pure adrenaline and your heart pounds in your chest as you run, Alioth gaining speed and distance faster than either of you can move. Each gasp of air burns your lungs and your muscles ache with the effort of your sprint.
Still a quarter of a mile away from the cache, you know you won’t be able to outrun Alioth. The storm has consumed the sky, the sun diminished to twilight, as the thunder and groans loom ever closer. You turn towards Logan and yell, “It’s too close, we’re not gonna make it!”
Logan’s eyes flash with anger as you stop and turn towards the oncoming destruction. He grabs for your wrist, pulling you almost nose to nose. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he growls, chest heaving with the effort to breathe. “We can’t stop!”
His proximity briefly disarms you, his fierce gaze igniting something deep within you, but you don’t have time to dwell on those emotions. You take a deep breath in an attempt to steady your nerves. “I’m gonna try and calm it down.”
“What are you going to do, think happy thoughts at it?” he asks, his tone biting and sarcastic.
You know every cell in his body is begging to fight, aching to release his claws and tear Alioth apart with his bare hands. But this isn’t something brute strength can subdue.
“Just trust me,” you plead, your eyes searching his for some indication that he believes you. “Please.”
His stare is hard, but eventually his eyes soften and he loosens his grip on your wrist. “Fine.”
Tearing your gaze from him, you turn back towards the storm, now a full blown maelstrom of anger and destruction hellbent on consuming you both whole. You exhale slowly, pushing your own emotions of fear and panic as far down as you can. Instead, you turn inward and concentrate on every feeling of peace, calm and stillness you’ve ever experienced and project it outwards. Waves of soothing energy pour from you, an almost ghostly aura emanating from you as your power continues to grow. Alioth continues to surge towards you, the wind now flattening trees to the ground and lifting debris high into the air.
The fight is excruciating, every cell in your body shaking with effort as you continue to project outwards, the sphere of your influence growing. When the two opposing masses collide, you’re almost knocked off your feet by the force. You’re vaguely aware of Logan beside you, claws unsheathing as he steps closer into your protective shield.
For a brief moment, you feel the power of the storm ebb before it seems to press into you harder. Your knees begin to buckle and your stance slips. “I…I don’t know if I can hold it!” you gasp.
Logan doesn’t run but instead moves closer, giving you one solitary nod. You can feel Logan’s eyes on you, feel the doubt swirling behind them and yet he stays besides you, ready to fight.
His silent encouragement is enough.
You are not dying in the fucking Void.
Gritting your teeth, you continue to push. A guttural scream rips from your throat as black spots dot your vision and blood drips from your nose. You dig down, channeling every last drop of your energy into a final wave, extending yourself deep within the core of the storm.
The black of the storm begins to retreat and the wind begins to calm. As the first few beams of sunlight filter in through the treetops, your vision fades completely and the world goes black.
The last thing you feel is a pair of strong arms wrapping around you before your mind goes blissfully blank and unconsciousness claims you.
+++
You wake up in the cache.
Dust motes dance in the sunlight streaming in through the broken windows. The light is soft, definitely not the early morning glow from before you left the comfort of your cabin and you wonder how long you were out. With a groan, you try to sit up. Your body is stiff, every muscle in your body aching with the effort you took to banish Alioth. Wincing, you swing your legs out of the makeshift bed, the effort taking your breath away and you can feel the sickly creep of nausea climb up your throat.
A low voice cuts through the haze. “Take it easy.”
Logan.
You blink, trying to adjust your eyes to the light and find him sitting on the floor, one leg pulled up to his chest as a bottle of whiskey hangs between his fingers. He takes a long pull and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
“How long was I out?” you ask, your voice hoarse.
Logan doesn’t answer immediately. He reaches over at a box beside him and then rolls a water bottle towards your feet before he finally mutters, “A day.”
You accept the bottle with a nod of thanks. Taking a slow sip, you close your eyes as the liquid soothes your throat even as your body protests the movement. You’ve never used your powers to that degree before. Fuck, you didn’t even know you could. A perverse sense of pride licks at the edge of your exhaustion.
Lowering the bottle, you breathe deeply in an attempt to settle the nausea rolling in the pit of your stomach. You glance at Logan and find him watching you, his eyes sharp, calculating.
“You owe me some answers. You said you knew me.”
You meet his gaze, the weight of his words pressing down on you. After hundreds of encounters with different Logans, it was never easy explaining to him what you were. For a long time, you didn’t even have a name for it. All you knew was that your consciousness, all your memories, everything that you are moves across different universes and inevitably crosses paths with Logan. It always felt like an invisible string, guiding your soul to his.
“I’m a temporal nomad.”
Logan’s eyes narrow as he glares at you. “A temporal what?” His tone is laced with skepticism.
You take another sip of water, giving yourself time to gather your thoughts and push away the throbbing at your temples. “A temporal nomad. I don’t die, not in the way you think, anyway.”
Logan doesn’t move, but you see his grip tighten on the bottle in his hand, his knuckles going white. “You tellin’ me you’re immortal?”
“No, not immortal,” you reply, exhaling slowly. “When I die, my consciousness moves. I reincarnate in a different universe. Eventually I regain everything—my experiences, my memories, my feelings. It’s why—” you pause and take a deep, steadying breath. “It’s why I always find you.”
Your words hit their mark and Logan’s eyes flash with something you can’t quite decipher—shock, disbelief, maybe some anger. He sits up straighter, tipping the whiskey bottle to his lips without breaking eye contact. “You always find me?” he asks, his voice a low rumble. “We’ve met before?”
“I’ve lost count of how many time, actually,” you admit softly. “But in every reality, every universe, I find you. And we’re not just friends, Logan.”
Your words linger in the air between you and your heart pounds loudly in your chest. Logan stands suddenly, the now empty whiskey bottle clattering to the ground. He runs a hand through his hair before scrubbing it down his face, his jaw clenched as he paces within the small space. A mirthless chuckle escapes his lips. “This smells like bullshit, sweetheart.”
Your heart aches at his use of the word sweetheart. It’s one he’s always preferred for you, usually spoken with reverence, like a prayer falling from his lips. Except now it’s casual and cold, something with a sharp edge instead of softness.
“I know how crazy it sounds. Believe me, Logan, it took me several lifetimes to wrap my mind around it.” You stand, your legs wobbly with the effort and you wince against the pull in your spent muscles. “But I know you.”
His expression hardens. “Yeah? Well, I don’t know you. And if you really knew me, you’d know to stay the fuck away from people like me.” Logan’s pacing grows more hurried, his hands clenching into fists.
“I can’t,” you say softly, taking a tentative step closer towards him. “And I don’t want to. While I might not know the Logan in front of me or the nuances that make you different from the others, I know you.”
His nostrils flare and he lets out a low growl. “Stop.”
“I know the way you fight,” you continue, ignoring his warning. “I know the way you carry your pain as if no one else can possibly shoulder that weight. I know—”
“Stop!”
“—how you push people away to protect them, but that deep down you hope someone will push back. You may carry a lot of self loathing, Logan, but even you know you’re not heartless.”
Logan’s fist slams into the wall behind him, the sound reverberating in the small room. He stands there, chest heaving, his knuckles bleeding from where they made contact with the rough wooden planks. You watch as the raw skin knits itself back together, his head hanging low.
His jaw clenches as he wipes the blood from his hands, his breathing still ragged and posture rigid, itching for a fight. He glances over at you, his expression softer but still rough.
“We’re done here,” he growls, but his voice soft, more broken than angry.
Logan turns without another word and all you can do is watch him leave.
+++
You spend the rest of the morning dozing in bursts of fitful sleep, your confrontation with Logan taking its emotional toll. Your eyes burn with unshed tears and for the first time in your life, you feel as if you’re destined to wander this universe alone.
But you can’t think about it.
Not now.
Ignoring the ache in your limbs, you pack up what supplies you can and ready yourself for the walk back to your cabin. The sun is a couple of hours from setting, the world bathed in golden light, when you set out. Walking down the steps, you pause at the distant crunch of boots on the gravel. You feel your pulse thrum in your chest as the sound gets closer and then he steps into view, his eyes locking onto yours.
Logan.
The sight of him standing there fills you with a rush of conflicting emotions. Relief, angry, anxiety and you’re not sure if you trust yourself to speak first. He looks the same—tired, disheveled, but steady and strong all the same. Neither of you moves, unspoken words hanging between you.
“I shouldn’t’ve left,” he says finally.
For a moment you say nothing. Because it’s exactly what you want to hear from him. Except, because you’re beyond exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally, you say, “No, you fucking shouldn’t have.”
There’s definitely more bite in your tone than you intended, but the release of some of your pent up anger feels so good you can’t bring yourself to care.
Logan’s eyes narrow as you move past him and keep walking. “Wait, so I come back here to apologize,” he begins, following close behind you, “and now you’re gonna just walk away?”
“You know, you never even thanked me for saving your ass,” you say, side stepping a downed log. “Just started demanding answers and then tucked tail and ran when you didn’t like what I had to say.”
He grabs your wrist and you stumble into his grasp, your breath hitching in your throat as you stand almost chest to chest. “I didn’t fucking ask for any of this!”
His anger bleeds into you, curling around your skin where his fingers press into your pulse point. You feel your nostrils flare and you’re itching for something to hit as you stare up at him, his jaw clenched. Your heart pounds wildly in your chest and you know you need to reign in your emotions or you’ll ignite the fuse between you.
“You think I did?” you ask, pulling your arm from his grasp. Your voice is calmer, but just as sharp. “You think I want to relive the grief of mourning you over and over while also finding something new to love about you? You think I wanted to be banished to the Void all because my soul just can’t die when I do?”
Logan’s expression softens and he scrubs a hand down his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look. I’ve had a shitty coupla days here. And you’re saying a lot of shit I don’t understand.”
He seems weary, then, and any remaining anger you harbor towards him dies in your veins. You take a deep breath in and blow it out slowly. “You don’t have to understand right now. Just—just trust me. Please?”
You hate how your voice breaks just a little.
Logan nods then, the barest tilt of his head, but it’s enough.
He continues to follow you through the woods back towards the cabin and for a while neither of you speak. It should feel awkward, especially now, but it doesn’t. You’re so used to his brand of stubbornness and reluctance to see what’s right in his face that this is the most at home you’ve felt since you got here.
“So,” you start after a few minutes of silence, “how did you end up here?”
Logan huffs. “Some asshole in red spandex dragged me here and I said I need to help save his universe.”
“And can you?”
His step falters and you pause to look a him, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond the trees. “I couldn’t save mine.” The weight of his words linger, heavy with a burden only he alone has been shouldering. He doesn’t meet your eyes as he brushes past you and keeps walking.
“Wanna talk about it?” you ask, catching up with him.
Logan growls. “No.”
“Alright, maybe later then,” you reply and he simply ignores you and keeps on walking. “Where’s this asshole friend of yours?”
“I left him tied up in the van.”
You had long passed the spot where you found Logan by the beat up van and the road was deserted. Based on the subtle smirk on his face, you figure Logan already knows that. Whatever his relationship is with the stranger, he seems somewhat happy to be rid of him and you don’t push him further. Although, you can’t help but wonder what happened to the van and whose hands it fell into.
Logan’s gait slows as the cabin comes into view through the trees. He follows behind you as you clear the space, checking for any stragglers that may have come along while you were gone. Pushing open the door, you watch as he looks around, taking in the small space.
“You’ve been living here?”
“I wouldn’t exactly call it living, but sure,” you comment, throwing your backpack on the table as you sit down. You can’t help the groan that escapes your lips as your muscles relax. “You can stay here if you want. I didn’t just let you follow me for your sparkling personality, you know.”
Logan actually laughs at that as he sits down on the small couch. His face lightens up, eyes crinkling just a bit at the corners, and for the first time since you found him, he seems unburdened. A blossom of hope grows in your chest and you grasp onto it, holding tight to the one bit of light you’ve had in this month of darkness.
“Thank you,” he says softly.
You know he means for more than the offer to stay and you return his smile with one of your own. “You’re welcome.”
As the sun starts to dip below the horizon, you bring out some extra blankets and a couple of pillows and help Logan turn the couch into a makeshift bed. You turn to leave when you hear him ask, “You really find me in every universe?”
“Yes.”
“That sounds terrible.”
You give him a small smile as you lean against the doorframe to the bedroom. “Oh, it’s not all that bad. I get to fall in love with you all over again.”
+++
You wake in the middle of the night to the sound of low, panicked growls coming from across the room.
You quietly slip from the bed and tiptoe towards the couch. Logan writhes beneath the sheets, pain etched across his face as he wrestles the demons in his sleeping mind. Taking a deep breath, you center yourself and focus every fiber of your power in his direction, hoping the waves of calm can break through whatever battle he’s fighting deep in the recesses of his mind.
Logan growls deep in his throat, the sound guttural and raw, his claws unsheathing and tearing at the sheets beneath him in agitation. A fine sheen of sweat beads along his brow and pieces of hair are plastered against his damp forehead.
“Logan,” you say softly, trying to break through the fog of his nightmare. “You’re safe, Logan.”
Your powers are waning, the stress of fighting off Alioth having left you depleted. You push down the ache, the tug in your brain demanding that you draw back, and instead kneel down in front of him, trailing your fingers across his palm and over the pulse point in his wrist. He jerks at your touch, his claws coming close to your skin, but the contact is enough and you feel his pulse slow beneath your fingertips.
You continue to speak in hushed tones, your voice barely above a whisper. “There you go, Logan. I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
Logan’s breathing is ragged, his eyes squeezed shut. You can feel the tension in his body, his muscles rigid with the need for release. You keep your fingers against his wrist, your touch steady and calming, as you bring up your other hand to smooth the lines along his brow.
“There you go,” you continue to murmur, “Focus on my voice. Focus on my calm.”
Gradually, his growls subside and his breathing begins to even out as the nightmare loses its grip over him. His muscles lose their tension and relax and the frantic movements of his limbs subsides. With one final deep breath, he stills, his claws retracting and he settles back into a peaceful sleep.
You sit and watch him for a minute, taking in all of his features and simply admiring him for the first time since your last life with him. This Logan is different—they all are in their own way—but this one a little more than the others. He seems wearier, more worn down, his usual scowl lines etched deep. There’s an exhaustion in his eyes, too, you haven’t seen before and you wonder if this Logan actually ever rests.
As you stand, you feel his fingers circle loosely around your wrist and give a small tug. You look down to where he’s touching you, his skin hot against yours, and you glance up to find him staring at you through half lidded eyes.
“Stay.” It comes out in a low whisper and as you open your mouth to protest, he adds, “Please.”
You could never deny him in any universe.
The couch is barely wider than he is, yet he shifts to make a sliver of space for you to slot yourself into. It should be awkward, the way you press yourself between the couch and the solid warmth of his frame, but it’s not. You hitch your leg over his hip, forcing your legs to tangle, as you rest your head against his chest. His heartbeat is strong and comforting beneath your ear and you find yourself quickly relaxing into his touch.
As you fall asleep, you feel his arm curl around you, tucking protectively against your ribs.
+++
When morning breaks, you’re alone. The warmth of his body is gone and you find yourself shivering. Pushing to sit, you wrap a blanket around yourself before standing up.
The cabin is empty.
You try and ignore the sliver of panic that threatens to slip its way down your spine.
Opening the front door, you pause when you find him sitting on the dilapidated porch, staring absently out at the trees. He glances up at you and watches as you sit down beside him. You hug the blanket closer around your shoulders and sit with him in silence.
You don’t mention last night.
“So,” you start, “what’s the plan?”
Logan raises his eyebrow. “You planning on stickin’ with me?”
“If you let me,” you reply with a smile.
You listen as Logan explains the events of the past couple of days, including Wade’s abduction of him from his own universe and how they both became to be bloodied and battered in the van. Your ears perk up when he mentions Paradox and returning to Wade’s universe.
“You think he can actually get back?” you ask, willing yourself to not hold onto too much hope.
Logan huffs. “Probably not.”
“And yet you’re out here trying to think of a way to find him,” you say. “Why?”
A frown tugs at Logan’s mouth and he looks down at his hands. Eventually, he reaches into the pocket of his suit and pulls out a crumpled Polaroid. He tilts it towards you and you look down at the group or smiling people. “He’s got something to go home to,” he says, thumbing the edge of the photo. “I got nothin’.”
There’s something soft in his gaze as he looks down at the photo, some lingering hope he’s too afraid to put words to.
“I’m sure you have something, Logan,” you say quietly.
His expression hardens then, jaw tightening, as he slips the photo back in his pocket. “Had. Past tense.” Logan stands then and looks down at you. “Get ready. We’re leaving in five.”
+++
You get ready quickly, changing your clothes and splashing water on your face before making sure your pack was sufficiently stocked. You were hoping you wouldn’t be needing it for much longer, but you didn’t want to express that thought out loud. Despite Logan wishing to go back to find Wade, you knew he wasn’t convinced this would end well.
Logan’s already started down the path as you jog down the cabin steps, swinging your pack up onto your shoulders. Catching up with him, you hand him the Pop-Tart you pulled out earlier. “Breakfast? They’re unfrosted, because this is the Void, but it’s something.”
He looks down at you, a strange expression on his face, but he accepts your offer. “Thanks,” he says, taking a bite.
“So, where exactly were you headed when you both decided to maul each other silly?” you ask, keeping pace with him as you walk through the woods.
“Johnny had mentioned a resistance out in the Borderlands,” Logan answers, swallowing the bite of Pop-Tart. “Figured we might find some people who could help us get control over Cassandra.”
You nod. “You’re not far from the Borderlands. Maybe four or so miles from he cache. I haven’t ventured out that far, but I’ve heard there’s a few outposts where others have hunkered down.”
“Then that’s where we go.”
You walk in comfortable silence, leaving Logan to his thoughts as you travel further away from safety and into the unknown. You stop at the cache briefly, pausing only snag a few water bottles before moving on.
A couple of miles past the cache, Logan suddenly stops, sniffing the air. His posture goes rigid, on alert as he slowly moves forward, beckoning you to follow him. A few yards away, the beat up van comes into view, parked alongside a lodging that looks as if it was built into the very earth itself.
Logan’s arm darts out, stopping you. “Stay close,” he commands quietly, stepping cautiously closer towards the structure.
You follow behind him, every sense on alert as you step inside. The place is quiet, but then you hear it—the soft rustle of snoring. And then Logan’s soft, “Ah, fuck me.”
Peering over his shoulder, you find a sleeping Wade spread eagle on the bed. Logan side steps the bed, ignoring the sleeping man, and begins rummaging through the place. Finding a bottle of whiskey, he groans in delight, twisting the cap off and taking a long pull.
“Really Logan?”
He quirks an eyebrow at you, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “What else would you like me to be doing?” he asks, biting.
“You came all this way to find him and now you’re gonna just drink?” you ask in disbelief. It gnaws at you, his indifference. You can feel little frissons of indignation licking at your skin and you have to tamp down your emotions before they bleed into him.
Logan shrugs. “He’s asleep. I ain’t draggin’ him anywhere.”
You cross your arms, glaring at Logan in frustration. “I didn’t follow you here to watch you stand around and get drunk. Wake him up.”
He gives you a sidelong glance, his brow furrowing. You don’t relent, your stare pointed as he takes another long pull from the bottle. Muttering to himself, Logan makes his way over to the bed and gives it one swift, forceful kick.
Wade jolts awake with a loud, exaggerated snort. He looks between you and Logan, his eyes finally settling on you. “Who’re you?” he asks, looking around as if expecting an answer. “When did the script get rewritten?”
You look at him quizzically, your eyebrow raised. “Who are you talking to?”
Wade huffs. “The audience,“ he says, gesturing towards the wall.
“Does he do this often?” you ask Logan in a whisper.
“Hasn’t stopped since he fucking dragged me here,” Logan replies.
Your attention is diverted as Wade suddenly rolls from he bed, crossing the room and two large strides. He unsheathes one of his katanas, pressing himself against the wall and then he’s pinned on the ground as a woman pulls a blade of her own. After a moment, she lets Wade up and two more people follow into the room behind her.
Logan eyes each one with suspicion as introductions are made and you can feel the tension growing within him as he continues to drink.
You jump as Gambit uses one of his playing cards to burst the bottle of whiskey in Logan’s hands. Logan ignores your pleading look and Wade’s admonishment as he grabs another bottle with a soft, “Boo boo boo.”
When Laura enters, you feel Logan’s interest pique, something heavy weighing on him. They both look towards one another, taking each other in and you don’t miss the recognition in Laura’s eyes.
“Do you know her?” you ask Logan, sliding closer to him.
Logan shakes his head. “No. But Wade’s Logan does.” He takes another long drink from the bottle, eyes still trained on her.
Wade continues to talk with the group, recapping their time in the Void and how they managed to escape Cassandra’s lair. Logan punctuates the conversation with vitriolic quips of his own, drinking more as Wade tries to get the group to form a team.
You try to send your power Logan’s way, trying to bleed into him some calm, but he shakes his shoulders and brushes you off. “Don’t fucking bother, sweetheart.”
“I can help you, Logan.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask for it.”
As Wade rallies the group into a cohesive unit, gaining their support in taking down Cassandra, Logan huffs a bitter laugh. “You’re all fucking dead.”
“Oh, my god, read the room,” Wade chides.
+++
Logan storms off, one bottle of whiskey fisted in each hand. You want to follow after him, but Wade stops you. “Let him go, cupcake. Peanut’s in a fragile state and you’re too pretty to become mincemeat.”
You shoot a glare at him and brush his hand away from your shoulder. “No, he only seems to sink his claws into you,” you bite back, but the anger leeches from your voice.
“Spicy,” Wade comments, “I like you. The script editor worked overtime on you, I can tell.”
“Yeah, well the jury’s still out over here,” you say, but you can’t help the twitch of a smile tugging at your lips.
You glance over at the door and feel Wade sidle up beside you. “Seriously, cupcake. Chasing after him is like trying to catch a raccoon with rabies. Might be fun, but it’s not worth the bite.”
“Oh yeah?” you ask, peering over at him, “And how long have you known him?”
Wade pretends to look down at his wrist and taps a non-existent watch. “Four days, six hours and thirty-two minutes,” he says with a smirk, “but I don’t really like to put a timestamp on friendship."
With a groan, you plop down on the bed and rub at your temples. “Is everything a joke with you?”
“Mostly,” he chirps with a grin. He leans back against the wall and crosses his arms as he watches you. “But I have been known to press pause occasionally.” Wade regards you for a moment, a slight tilt to his head. “Honey badger does it for you, huh?”
Sighing, you lay back on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. “I have followed Logan through millennia, Wade. I can’t remember a time anymore where I haven’t loved him.”
“His mutant dick that good, huh?”
You half laugh, half snort and shoot him a pointed look. “Not everything is about sex, Wade.”
“Agree to disagree,” he says with a shrug. “We’ve all got emotional baggage, mine is definitely over the free to fly limit, but that guy? Literal mountains. Centuries worth, even.”
“Exactly,” you say, sitting up. “I’ve helped him carry more than you can imagine. Logan may push people away, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need someone to stay.”
Wade cocks his head, considering your words and his expression softens. “You know running after him isn’t going to fix him.”
“I’m not trying to fix him,” you reply. “He just needs to know someone is there for him.”
“Well, it’s your funeral, cupcake,” he says with a sigh. “I promise I’ll give a really moving eulogy. But, I do think if anyone is gonna convince tall, dark and brooding out there to join us, it’s you.”
You give him a soft smile as you stand. “Thanks, Wade.”
“And just so you know,” he calls after you, “I’m open and willing to being your mutant dick rebound.”
You roll your eyes and walk out the door.
+++
You step outside and see Logan sitting by himself in front of a fire not too far from the lodging. Walking quietly, you stop when you see Laura approach him and sit along side him. You’re close enough that you can hear their words—hear Logan tell her about the suit, about how he found the X-Men, his friends, dead.
The anger, the loathing, this Logan carries comes into focus and you can’t help but wonder how long he’s lived with this weight upon his shoulders. Suffering alone with only the bottom of a bottle to quiet the thoughts that scream in his mind.
As Laura eventually leaves, she catches your eye and gives you a small nod.
You feel a strange kinship with her. She too has memories of a Logan who no longer exists and who is radically different from the one she has now. You wonder what she’s thinking and have half a mind to follow after her when you hear Logan call out, “I know you’re there.”
You turn back towards where he remains sitting in front of the fire, the whiskey bottle now more than half gone. Closing the gap between you, you sit down alongside him and watch as he continues to stare down into the fading fire.
“How much did you hear?” he asks, taking a large swig from the bottle.
“Enough,” you answer simply.
Logan grunts and takes a long pull from the bottle, his lips glistening as his swallows get sloppy. “Well, now you know. I’m the worst Logan,” he almost spits, his tone dark and bitter. “You drew the short straw with me, sweetheart.”
“You know I don’t think that,” you say softly.
Logan doesn’t respond and instead finishes the rest of the whiskey, tossing the bottle somewhere behind him. Scrubbing a hand down his face, he looks over at you. “You actually gonna join them tomorrow?”
“Are you?”
“It’s a fucking suicide mission,” he answers. “You want to walk up to your death, be my guest.”
“If you’re so convinced this is a suicide mission, why don’t you want to go?” you counter, his ire beginning to bleed into the space between you and creep uncomfortably along your skin. “You afraid you might come face to face with actual death and realize that’s not really what you want?”
Logan’s gaze flicks up to your face, his eyes dark, dangerous. “You’re fucking pushin’ it.”
“Good! Someone fucking should be!” you exclaim, standing from the fallen log. Maybe Wade was right—maybe this was futile. In every universe Logan could be a stubborn ass, but this one was particularly obstinate. “Do you really believe you’re so unredeemable, Logan? That you’re just a vile mutant who doesn’t deserve sympathy after his friends were brutally murdered?”
You can feel his rage boiling just under the surface of the thin veneer of calm. His eyes pierce into you, pinning you in place as he stands to his full height, his fists clenched tightly.
“You don’t know shit about me, sweetheart,” he growls.
Anger simmers in your veins, threatening to burn you from the inside out. “Oh fuck you, Logan.”
He takes a step closer, his eyes narrowing as his lips curl into a cruel smile. “Yeah, you’d like that wouldn’t you? Me sinking into your cunt while you picture whatever version of me you think I am.” His voice is a low rumble, adding to the tension threatening to suffocate you.
Your breath catches in your throat at his words, and it isn’t desire that courses through you, but rage. Your skin prickles and his vitriol ignites something deep within you, something hotter and brighter than you’ve ever felt before.
“After all this time and everything I’ve told you, you honestly believe that’s all I want from you? You’re a fucking pathetic asshole,” you snap, your voice sharp and laced with venom.
Logan’s expression darkens, the smirk slipping from his face as his jaw clenches. “You got some balls sayin’ that shit to me,” he spits.
A small part of you is terrified of him, afraid that he might actually snap. Might actually unsheathe his claws and send you onto your next life without ever having truly lived this one. But you know him, you know him. His pain and rage isn’t towards you, but himself.
You risk a step closer to him, narrowing the space between you and you can feel the heat radiating off of him, mingling with your own fury. “Yeah, well at least one of us has a pair.”
Logan doesn’t have time to react before you channel your powers towards him, unleashing an explosive burst of energy that sends him staggering back. And then you smother him, smother him in thousands of years of memories, thousands of years of every single feeling you had ever felt for him in every universe you’ve known him.
The weight of your emotional onslaught brings him to his knees, but you keep pushing, switching from your feelings for him to his feelings for you. All the affection, all the love, all the comfort the two of you shared in every version of your coupling across space and time floods his mind.
You watch as his expression melts from anger into one of overwhelming vulnerability and pain. His hands, still clenched into fists, tremble beneath the weight of your power surging through him. He looks up at you then, his eyes pleading and your resolve breaks. Tears burn in your eyes and trail down your cheeks, wetting your lips as a scream rips from your lungs.
Your hold on Logan dissipates as you reign your emotions back under control. You stagger on your feet as your power diminishes, your chest heaving with ragged breaths and broken sobs. You can’t look at him, not yet. If you do, you might actually break. So you do something that you never thought you would do—you leave.
+++
Night in the Void is cool, almost bordering on uncomfortable like everything else in this godforsaken place, but for once it doesn’t bother you. You gaze up at the sky, the haze of distant stars and planets blurring together the more you try and focus on just one.
You’ve always loved looking at the stars. There was a comfort in knowing you could look up at the sky and see the same constellations in every universe, that there was always one constant among all the variables.
You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting before you hear the crunch of his boots on the earth, dried leaves and twigs snapping under his heel. Logan joins you on the ground, sitting with a heavy sigh. The maelstrom of emotions swirling within him bleeds into the space between you and you can feel it, thick and heavy and suffocating.
You risk a glance at him and he looks…defeated. His eyes are red-rimmed and raw and you see something in those hazel eyes you rarely see—fear. Not fear at you, although your guilt would rather have you believe that, but fear of himself, fear of feeling what you’ve shown him. Logan’s breath is slow, controlled, but you can hear the slight tremor in it.
“I promised myself I would never use my powers on you” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “I know what it feels like to experience that onslaught. It feels like drowning.” Your voice cracks and you fight to keep the guilt burning in your chest from consuming you whole. “And that was just a fraction of what we’ve felt across lifetimes, Logan.”
Logan stays silent but gazes at your face, eyes flicking across your features, drinking you in. The scrutiny makes you shiver. Before you isn’t The Wolverine, the X-Man people in his universe loathe, but a man left raw and vulnerable.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he says slowly, his voice rough as the words are pulled from him. “You shouldn’t have shown me that.”
You flinch, the weight of his words are a punch to your gut. “I know,” you whisper, wiping tears from your eyes. “I know and I’m sorry, I—”
Logan cuts you off with a shake of his head, his eyes now locked onto yours. “I already knew, sweetheart,”he murmurs, his voice low. “You feel like—you feel like home.”
Your heart stutters in your chest and for a moment you can’t breathe. The words hang between you, heavy and raw, the sound of them something you’ve been craving to hear.
“I am your home,” you reply softly.
Logan shifts beside you, closing the space between you as he slips his hand behind your neck and pulls you in. His mouth crashes to yours, his kiss urgent, rough and desperate.
You reach for him, gripping his shoulders as you kiss him back, the Void slipping away. There’s only the heat of his mouth, the rough scrape of his beard against your skin, the way his other hand tugs at your waist in an attempt to pull you closer.
It’s messy and intense and you don’t want it to end. Logan kisses you like a man starved, like you’re his last breath of air.
A whimper falls from your lips as he finally breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against yours. You’re both breathless, his nose softly nudging yours.
“Please come with us tomorrow,” you whisper against his skin. “Let me take you home.”
He nods once and that’s all you need.
+++
The morning comes quicker than anyone would like.
Nervous energy bleeds through the group, everyone knowing they’re on the precipice of life or death, that this may be the last day they ever inhale air into their lungs or feel the warmth of the sun on their skin.
Logan’s quiet, already tucking into Gambit’s liquor, as you sit down beside him. He looks down at you briefly, taking a long long pull before offering you the bottle. You take it from him and take a swig of your own, the amber liquid burning a path down your throat.
“What are you thinking?” you ask, handing him back the bottle.
He stares down at his feet, swirling the liquid around in the glass. “I honestly don’t even fuckin’ know.”
You reach for his hand and give him a comforting squeeze. He stares down at you for a moment and then drags his gaze up to your face. “Whatever happens Logan, I’ll be right there with you.”
Final preparations complete, everyone piles into the van, you tucking alongside Logan in the hatchback. The ride is mostly quiet, punctuated only with the few occasional quips by Wade just to ease the tension. You brace yourself, gripping Logan’s calf as Blade sends a rocket launcher through Cassandra’s front gate and Elektra floors it through the explosion.
The others leave the van first, forming a line of defense. You look up at Logan and lean forward to press the faintest of kisses against his lips. His fingers curl around your neck and pull you closer, deepening it just enough to taste your mouth.
“Let’s go,” he murmurs, pulling back. “Stay by me.”
You swallow hard, loathe to let him go, wanting to stay in the perceived safety of the van, but you simply nod and follow him to join the others.
Fighting erupts all around you and you stick as close to Logan’s back as you can. It’s a symphony of chaos—rage, fear and determination all swirling heavily in the air. You feel your power thrum underneath your fingertips as you channel those emotions back towards whoever Logan is fighting, hoping to disarm them—even if temporarily—with their own vitriol in an attempt to give him an advantage.
The air burns in your lungs as you move through the fight, your mind spinning as you gain distance towards Cassandra’s lair. You can see the others move around you—Elektra and Blade slicing down enemies with their blades; Gambit disarming others with his explosively charged playing cards; Laura fighting in a style all her own, yet so much like Logan’s; and Wade cutting down others like he’s having fun.
A clear path opens up to the ramp leading up to Cassandra and the others swarm behind you, allowing yourself, Wade and Logan to break free from the melee. Logan looks back at you just long enough for you to see the fear in his eyes. You try and remain stoic, even though your mind is racing with all he the ways this could go wrong, and give him a small nod of encouragement.
You stop short in front of Cassandra as she sits sipping tea, seemingly disinterested in the battle happening just outside her stronghold. “You two escaping I could live with, but coming back willingly…” she trails off, “Boys are so silly.” Her eyes dart towards you. “And you brought a friend!”
“I just need to get home,” Wade says, his tone serious.
“I’m afraid that’s not an option.”
Cassandra flicks Wade aside effortlessly and Logan’s instantly on alert, claws extended at his side. You attempt to direct your powers at her, trying to defuse the anger simmering below her surface. She rolls her neck and glances at you, intrigue in her eyes.
“Oh, aren’t you interesting,” she says, effortlessly flicking your powers aside. “I wonder what treats you have hiding in that mind of yours.”
Cassandra steps closer to you, her calculating stare flicking over your face. She lifts one hand up to you and from behind her, Logan growls and moves to attack. You watch, powerless, as she pins Logan to the ground with his own claws.
She tsks and looks down at him, “That’s enough out of you.”
And then, she’s in your mind, every nerve ending in your body on fire, ready to consume you whole.
You’re standing in a library, Cassandra at your side. Shelves extend as far as the eye can see, fading into an infinite distance. You walk aimlessly along the shelves, pausing at the entrance of a room simply titled “Logan”.
“Oh, now this is something,” you hear Cassandra say from beside you. “This is quite the collection you have.”
Your fingers reach out and touch the spines, the briefest flickers of memories emanating from their covers. “I’ve known him for so long,” you murmur. “Been with him through so much.”
You pause in front of one book, the urge to open it nearly overwhelming. Pulling it from the shelf, the pages flutter open and you gasp, the memories of that life flooding your brain.
You and Logan were married in this life. He worked a simple job, construction. There were no X-men, no missions, no danger. He kept his mutation a secret, showing only you when the memories got too rough, too unmanageable. You were his anchor. You had two kids—girls. And oh, how he loved them. Both of them wrapped effortlessly around his heart from before they were even born.
Tears spring to your eyes as the warmth of those memories flood through you. “I loved that life,” you whisper, putting the book back on the shelf.
“And who wouldn’t?” Cassandra agrees, placing her hand on your shoulder. “So effortless his love for you. So different from now.”
You glance over at her, confusion drawn on your face. False empathy tugs at Cassandra’s sympathetic smile. “Are you even sure he cares for you now? This Logan is so broken, more broken and unloveable than all these other Logans, hm?”
Shaking your head, you try to resist her efforts to batter you, to convince you your soul’s purpose is not worth it. Not worth him. “That’s not true. They’re all worthy. All capable and deserving of love,” you say, your fingers trailing along another spine. “Even this one. Especially this one.”
Cassandra’s face contorts then and…
She’s wrenched from your mind and you fall to your knees, blinking up as you see Wade holding Cassandra from behind, one hand holding Jaggernaut’s helmet to her head.
Your mind still spins as Logan and Wade confront her, their conversation a jumble in your mind. But you don’t miss her saying either they kill her, or she kills them. Finding the strength to stand, you rise and place your hand on Wade’s arm.
“If I stay,” you start, focusing only on Cassandra and ignoring the press of Logan’s gaze into your skin, “Will you let them go?”
Logan reaches for you and you pull your gaze from Cassandra long enough to press your palm against this chest. You meet his eyes, silently pleading with him to let you continue.
“Will you?” you repeat, unable to keep the pleading out of your tone.
Cassandra laughs bitterly. “You love him that much? To sacrifice yourself to save him? That Logan, out of all of them?”
You nod, feeling the tears burn in your eyes. “I love him that much,” you reply softly.
Logan grabs your hand then, forcing you to look at him. “Don’t,” he chokes out, voice thick with unspoken emotion, “Don’t do this.”
You smile softly as you reach up and cup his cheek, his beard rough against your palm. You don’t miss the way he briefly nuzzles into your touch, eyes fluttering shut as he sighs. “I love you, Logan. In all my lives, in this one and in the next one, too.” The first tear slips down your cheek as you look up at him. “I promise I’ll find you again, Logan. I always do.”
You press a kiss to his mouth, soft and gentle. It lingers for a moment, a desperate, bittersweet exchange as Logan tries to memorize the feel of you. His hands grip your waist, clutching almost hard enough to bruise, but you relish the pain.
Wade stands beside you both, uncharacteristically silent, his hands still holding Cassandra in place. His usual banter is gone, the weight of the moment not lost on him. “This is the worst fucking idea anyone has ever had,” he mutters, but his tone is soft. “And I’ve had some pretty terrible ideas.”
Cassandra regards you with a mixture of amusement and curiosity. “If I let them go, you’ll stay here with me in the Void. Be my ally.”
You nod, “Yes.”
Cassandra’s eyes narrow, calculating, weighing her options. Finally she sighs, “Fine. But you know…no one will remember this little sacrifice of yours. The next Logan won’t even know you.”
Logan growls and you squeeze his hand in gentle reassurance. “It’s okay,” you whisper, your voice finally breaking. “I’ll remember enough for the both of us.”
You step away from Logan, your heart shattering with every step. Wade lets go of Cassandra and you feel the weight of your decision settle heavily against your shoulders.
Cassandra pulls something from her pocket, slipping it onto her fingers. Before you, a portal opens up, just outside the boundaries of the room. Outside, the raging storm that is Alioth grows near and in that moment, you realize Cassandra was playing a game of her own.
“I figure,” she says, straightening the lapels of her jacket, “that they have approximately four seconds before they’re through.”
Your eyes flick to Logan and you memorize every detail, every emotion written across his face. With one final nod, he tears his gaze from you and he runs towards the portal, Wade alongside him.
And then, darkness consumes all.
+++
You’re unsure how long you’ve been out. The last thing you remember was Alioth screaming towards you, giving you barely enough time to cocoon yourself from his rage.
Cassandra is gone.
Wade is gone.
And Logan���Logan is gone.
You open your eyes and find Remy standing above you. He offers you his hand and helps you to stand. “C’mon, chère,” he says, nodding towards the open portal behind him, “Let’s go home.”
You’re not sure where home is any more, not without Logan, but you don’t have the strength to argue. From the moment you wound up here in the Void, you’ve been looking for a way out. Now that you have one, you know you need to take it.
Accepting Remy’s hand, you join him through the portal.
You stumble into a familiar room and are greeted warmly by a smiling TVA agent. She’s unlike the first TVA agent you met, her presence comforting as she says your name. “We heard you’ve had quite the adventure.” She looks over towards Remy. “Mr. LeBeau, if you’ll follow this agent here.”
Remy leaves with he other agent, turning towards you with a wink. “Enjoy your man for me, yeah?”
Your heart flutters in your chest and you look towards the agent, trying to suppress the hope you feel in your chest. She smiles and rests a comforting hand on your shoulder. From her pocket she pulls out a small device, pressing a few buttons on the pad. Before you a different portal opens and she gestures towards it.
“Welcome home.”
+++
You stand in front of the apartment door and hesitate before knocking. Your nerves flutter uncomfortably in your belly even though it’s been less than two days since you last saw Logan in the Void. But you’re out now—you both are—and the fear nags at you that maybe this isn’t what he wants. That you aren’t what he wants.
You stuff that thought down with a shake of your head. Raising your hand, you rap against the door three times and let out a shaky breath. When he opens the door, you feel as if the air has left your lungs and you forget to breathe. Your heart aches at the sight of him.
Logan stops short, his face falling into one of pure disbelief and all he can do is stare at you.
“Is that my stripper?” you hear Wade call from farther into the apartment. Logan continues to stare at you as Wade pops up behind him, his face lighting up in surprise. “Oh, hey cupcake! Didn’t expect to—“
“Get out,” Logan growls, turning his head slightly in Wade’s direction, his eyes never leaving yours.
From over Logan’s shoulder, Wade wiggles his eyebrows. “Ah, looking for some afternoon delight?” he coos, slinging his arm over Logan’s shoulder and patting his chest. “This guy has been jerkin’ it constan—“
You hear the sknit of Logan’s claws as they unsheathe into Wade’s thighs. “Ah, fuck! Fuck!” Wade curses. “You’re supposed to be penetrating her, not me!”
“Get. Out,” Logan repeats, retracting his claws.
“Fine.” Wade pushes past Logan’s frame, limping slightly as his wounds heal themselves. “You’re lucky Blind Al’s already out playing Bingo. Or selling herself for blow. I don’t actually know her schedule,” he comments as he walks down the hallway. “Glad you’re home, cupcake.”
Logan barely waits until Wade is out of sight before tugging at the hem of your shirt and pulling you towards him. Your gasp dies on your lips as he drags you inside, shutting the door with his foot and pushing you up against the rough wood. Then his mouth is on yours and it’s warm and wet and wonderful.
His hands cup your face, fingers moving to tangle in your hair and you feel him everywhere. You whine as he nips lightly at your chin before trailing his lips back up your jaw, licking into your mouth as he kisses you deep.
Your fingers scramble for purchase, fisting themselves into the fabric of his button-down flannel.
There’s a desperation and urgency bleeding from him, as if he can’t drink you in fast enough, or hard enough, or long enough to satiate the longing that’s within him. And you’re feeling it too, an ache growing deeper in your belly, a need to be consumed by him fully and you whine into his mouth because he’s not nearly close enough to you.
A thigh slips between your legs as he kisses along your jaw and down the column of your throat, a moan falling from your lips as you greedily seek friction.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” Logan husks against your shoulder, pulling your hips harder against his clothed thigh.
Your hands cup the sides of his face, your fingers scratching lightly against his beard. You force him to look at you, his pupils blown wide. “I always come to you,” you say softly. “I always come home.”
He kisses you softly then, his mouth slow over yours and he drops his thigh from between your leg. You whine at the loss and he pulls back. “C’mere,” he says, grabbing your hand and leading you further into he apartment. “I’m not fucking you for the first time against a door.”
You follow him to the bedroom, your chest heaving with ragged breaths and you can feel the prickle of anticipation along your spine as he turns back to look at you. His eyes never leave yours as he shrugs off the flannel and pulls his t-shirt over his head. Your eyes trace the lines of his chest, the strong definition of his muscles, following the line of hair that leads to the top of his jeans. As you bite your lip, you hear his chuckle, “My eyes are up here.”
“Mmm, yeah they are,” you start, tugging your shirt off and shimmying your pants over your hips, “but the view down there is nice, too.”
Logan reaches for you, his large hands skimming over your hips, over the flesh of your ass and under your thighs, lifting you up and forcing your to wrap your legs around his waist. With an easy flick of his fingers, he’s unclasped your bra and you toss it aside with the rest of your clothes.
Kneeling on the bed, he lays you down, kissing his way down your stomach, his nose nuzzling along the top of your panties. “Do you have any fucking idea how sweet you smell?” His mouth is hot against your skin and he laughs as you tilt your hips up towards him. “You want me to fuck you with my tongue? Lap at you until you’re seeing stars?”
Molten desire shoots down your spine and you can feel the slick between your thighs. God, the mouth on him was going to be the death of you.
You prop yourself up onto your elbows and look down at him. “Just fucking touch me already,” you whine, and you hate how desperate you sound. “Haven’t we waited long enough?”
He presses a wet, open mouthed kiss to your inner thigh before dragging his nose along the center of your clothed cunt. You inhale sharply as he kisses over your clit before trailing his fingers along your hip bones and pulling the fabric down. His warm hands palm along your thighs and he opens you up, staring down at you with hunger in his eyes. And then his mouth is on you, his tongue licking a hot stripe through your folds before sucking your clit into his mouth.
“Oh, fuck,” you moan as his mouth continues to lap at you, pleasure tingling low in your belly and spreading through your limbs.
Logan hums. “Sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted, sweetheart.” His tongue dips down, collecting the arousal at your entrance. “I could die happy between these thighs.”
You trail your hands down over your chest, briefly palming each breast before you continue down and sink your fingers into Logan’s hair. His groan rumbles through you and you don’t miss the way his hips start to rut against the mattress, seeking friction.
His mouth and tongue continue to move over you, long, slow licks punctuated by gentle sucks and flicks over your clit and you can’t stop the grind of your hips against his face. You feel his smirk against you as one thick finger finally sinks inside your walls, nudging that spot deep inside that makes you squirm.
Another finger slips inside you and a low whine spills from your lips.
“You’re beautiful like this, you know that,” he says, voice rough, thumb replacing his tongue against your clit as his fingers continue pumping. “All blissed out and needy and desperate to come on my fingers.”
His words zip through you as he fuck you with his hand and you bite your lip. “C’mon,” he purrs, “let me hear all those pretty sounds you make.”
Soft whimpers spill from your throat as he continues to work you, that pull in your lower belly growing stronger and stronger. His hand never stilling, he kisses his way up your body, pulling a nipple into his mouth and then you’re coming, cunt clenching around his fingers.
Logan licks into your mouth to steal your cries as he continues to work you through your orgasm. Your thighs clamp around his forearm, the pleasure overwhelming.
He finally stills, pulling his fingers from you and you whimper at the loss. You watch through half lidded eyes as he licks his fingers clean of your slick and you feel that flame reignite in your belly.
“Take your pants off,” you demand, breathless, pushing at his chest.
Logan laughs, but allows you to push him onto his back. “You always so bossy after you come?”
You fumble at his belt, undoing his buckle and unzipping his jeans before shoving them down his hips. “Make me do it again and find out,” you taunt as his cock springs free.
He kicks his pants the rest of the way off and you sit back on your heels and admire him for a moment. Your eyes trail from his broad shoulders, down the contours of his chest and follow that line of hair down his stomach to between his thighs, where his cock stands, thick and ready.
“I will never get tired of looking at you,” you sigh, raking your nails down his thighs, deliberately not touching him where you know he wants it the most. “You’re so beautiful, Logan.”
Whatever response he has, dies in his throat as you finally wrap your hand around his cock, giving him one long, firm stroke. He’s hot and heavy and you’re aching to feel him inside you. But not yet. Leaning down, your eyes meet his and you trace your tongue along the underside of his cock, tasting the salt on his skin.
“Fuckin’ hell,” Logan curses, unable to stop the thrust of his hips, chasing your mouth.
You wrap your lips around the head, swirling your tongue over the slit and collecting the precum there before taking as much of him in your mouth as you can. Logan hisses through his teeth, fingers winding their way into your hair to help guide your movements.
“You’re so warm and wet, sweetheart,” he groans. “But I don’t want to come in your mouth.”
You give him one last stroke as you release him from your mouth and climb up to sit on his thighs. Logan pulls you forward by your hips and you gasp as your cunt slides across his cock.
“Line me up,” he instructs and you obey without hesitation.
Gripping him in your hand, you guide him to your entrance, notching him inside before slowly sinking down atop him. A sob chokes in your throat at the thick feel of him inside you, stretching you, making you feel complete. Your entire existence boils down to where he’s joined with you and you relish the burn.
His hands are everywhere as you start to move, caressing your thighs, your hips, up to your breasts and back down, tracing a map on your skin only his fingers can read. Praise falls from his lips in an almost nonstop litany, telling you how wet you are, how tight, how warm, how good you’re making him feel.
“Do you want to know how you make me feel?” you ask, breathless. You look down at him through half lidded eyes and find him just as flushed and wanton as you. “How you’ve always made me feel?”
You continue to rock back and forth on his cock, slow, deliberate movements that leave you wanting, needing more. Logan shifts his hips and finds the leverage to fuck up into you, the deep drag of his cock against your walls making you throw your head back and moan.
“Fuck,” he growls, his fingers sinking deeper into the flesh of your hips, pulling you somehow impossibly closer. “Show me, sweetheart.”
You brace your hands against his chest, raking your fingers through the damp hair there, feeling his heart beat beneath your palms. Leaning down, you capture his mouth with yours, the kiss sloppy as he continues to thrust up into you. You move your hands up his neck, your fingers collecting the sweat along his jaw and then, “Feel, Logan.”
It starts slow, an almost faint heat spreading from your fingertips as they ghost over his skin, your power beginning to pulse in time with your heartbeat. Logan gasps and his rhythm falters as the first wave of emotion hits him. You slow, too, your hips barely moving as you run your fingers down from his jaw, over the column of his throat and back to his chest.
Your palms rest against his ribs as you continue to pour into him all the love and passion he’s ever shown you over centuries. Logan stares up at you in reverence, his face soft as he runs his hands up your sides, over your breasts. He tugs you down towards him, his mouth hovering over yours.
“Do you feel, Logan,” you ask, your breath hot against his lips. “Do you feel how much you love you have in you?”
He draws your bottom lip into his mouth, biting softly once, before capturing your mouth fully, kissing you deep. You hum as his tongue swipes against yours and his fingers tangle in your hair.
A gasp pulls from your throat as Logan wraps his arms around you and flips your position, forcing your legs around his waist as he begins to thrust into you again in earnest. You feel him deep in this position, each thrust of his cock against your walls hitting that perfect spot inside of you.
“It’s too much,” he groans into your skin. “Never…never felt like this.”
You rake your nails along his back, relishing in the growl that falls from this throat. “It always feels like this,” you gasp, drawing your power back.
His arms slide under your shoulders, anchoring you in place as his hips continue to thrust into you. It’s lewd almost, the slapping of skin against skin and the wet noises from where you’re joined. His breath is hot and damp against your skin where his mouth hovers over the pulse point in your neck.
Your fingers snake into the short strands of hair at the back of his neck and your other hand slips in between your bodies, reaching for your clit.
“That’s it,” he moans, “use those fingers to get yourself off on my cock.”
You can feel where he’s sliding thickly into your cunt, the wiry hairs at the base of his cock damp with your arousal, and you begin to rub in time with his thrusts. Pleasure zips along your spine, every cell in your body afire at his touch. You feel that telltale tug low in your belly and you know you’re not going to last much longer.
He slides his hands down from your shoulders, following the curve of your spine, forcing you to arch your back. Taking the opportunity before him, he swirls his tongue over one nipple, then the other as he palms the flesh of your hips in his hands, angling your hips further up into his. A keening whine falls from your lips as he somehow thrusts deeper into you, making your legs shake.
Logan nudges your hand away from your clit, replacing your fingers with his own as he pushes you closer and closer to the edge. His eyes are focused on the sight of his cock thrusting into you and the slick smeared across your thighs.
“Logan,” you gasp, “I’m so close.”
“I know, sweetheart,” he rasps, dragging his gaze up to your face, “I got you. Takin’ me so well, so tight. Gonna spend the rest of my life tellin’ you how fucking good you are.”
His words tip you over the edge, your orgasm rolling through you as you spasm down on his cock, his name falling from your lips. He fucks you through your orgasm, each thrust of his hips sending aftershocks of pleasure along your limbs as he chases his own release. Logan’s thrusts grow erratic and you reach for him, grasping at his forearms, pulling him down to you.
“Come for me, Logan,” you murmur in his ear. “I wanna feel you come.”
With one final thrust, he comes with a groan, forehead pressed against yours as he spills himself deep within you. You can feel cock spasm as he lazily thrusts through his orgasm, using your body to wring out the last of his pleasure. You hold him close, pressing open mouthed kisses to his jaw as he finally stills within you.
Careful not to crush you, Logan pulls you to him as he rolls onto his side. He doesn’t pull out, tugging your leg over his hip to keep you close and full.
You smile up at him, brushing the damp hair away from his forehead. He sighs at your touch, a content sound that tugs at your heart.
“You really love me in every universe?” he asks softly, brushing his nose against yours.
“Yes.”
“Even this one?”
“Especially this one.”
You don’t know what the rest of this life holds, but you do know one thing—wherever he goes, you’ll be right there with him.
#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#worst wolverine#logan howlett x you#logan howlett smut#logan howlett x reader#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#deadpool#logan x reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett fanfiction
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It’s everybody’s favorite lantern! Ingo's partner pokemon's very chaos incorporated. Inspired by the very enthusiastic asks in my inbox, which I’ll be responding to under this cut ;0 Wanna see more? Check out this submas masterlist.
@euos-the-cat AAA thank you! I took one look at that waxy gremlin and thought "huh. I can do something with this."
@eventhetiniestbugs Yo. YO. HEADCANNON ACCEPTED. Litwick really is sort of a beatrice, isn't she? Being Ingo (and in part, Emmet's) unwilling guide. Reluctant friend. Best found family.
@answrs Thanks!!! I love sneasler and I need to draw her more. It wasn't on purpose, but it seems I've accidentally wrote myself into a Sort Of chronological posting (oops!) But sneasler WILL appear later (hopefully BEFORE my hyperfixation fizzles out haha)
@raynavan AhHEhEHEHEH. I usually don't dabble with too much angst, but yeah. On the plus side, uh, more chandelure emmet interactions! On the down side, well.
@blueisquitetired You learn to like rice. It's a staple in your diet, and while you may think its bland and boring, it becomes something you can always rely on during meal time when things get dicey. Or, well. It was.
@moothebloo ...DEFINITELY SAVING THAT FOR LATER. CHANDELURE ANGRY SHARPIE BROWS LETS GOO. (Idk if you're into rottmnt, but uh that's some donnie behaviors that I definitely approve of.)
@gender-nuteral-nut-boy First of all, amazing user name. you get all the gender. second of all (points at picture) she's doing finnee! She's doing So Great. Don't Worry About It. ((She has emmet, and later the gear station, and even later maybe even elesa. But Ingo's Hers, and that's a wound that can't be easily staunched.)) @ghostlykryptonitenight Ah,, you see, your first mistake is thinking she'll Remember. : )
Head cannon: ghost pokemon are not a direct reincarnation of a dead soul, and are more like… say, the mold that grows from a coffee mug left out for too long. But they have fragments of memories and dreams of cherished ones. Chandelure knows Ingo’s alive thanks to their bond. She vaguely knows her propagator probably knew Ingo’s identical great uncle or something. But those pieces don’t really connect until Emmet’s research, and she’s tired and faded and the simple act of trying hurts.
(She would leap through space and time for ingo. Chandelure and Emmet would do anything to get their muppet back, even if it means to salt the earth and unearth gods.)
#art#pokemon#myart#sketchbook#chandelure#lampent#litwick#angry night light#ask#mailbox#haha gottem#ghost pokemon are weird#look im a fan of the carrot but sometimes to REALLY get your point across you got to get out a stick#anyways giving the sentient light fixture emotions is my best bit yet#submas
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apt 302 | sylus q.
— summary: at first, your new neighbor was as mysterious as he was handsome. after taking some time to get to know him—or forcing your way into his quiet life—you realize looks can be deceiving. — cw: gn reader, neighbors au, neighbors to friends to lovers, profanity, innuendoes, jealousy, misunderstandings, stalker ex, alcohol use, guns mentioned, self-indulgent, allusions to reincarnation, angst, pet names, sylus being an insufferable gentleman, slice of life — dividers by: @omi-resources — notes: this grew way longer than i expected, soooooo you’re gonna hate me for what comes next. anyways, thank you so much for reading! — now playing: my favorite person now - she was pretty ost — tagging: @alfredosaws, @sinsodom @chuppiechanchan @hao-ming-8 @antonneva @sunsets-and-crows @leighsartworks216 @grabby-smitten @nebulorra @minniestarmj @elysiums-light @saiaise @queenofstresss @beewilko @aetherscribit @libriomancer @world-of-hearts @awkwardnurse @huachengnism
Information Technology isn’t as cushy of a field as you initially thought.
Sure, you have a desk job doing the most mundane of things—working the help desk, troubleshooting devices, re-imaging computers. But your job isn’t without its drawbacks.
Sometimes, the days are long and arduous. The constant customer interaction doesn’t help matters; you’re a bit of an introvert, requiring five business days to recover from just a few hours of socializing.
So, forgive you for seeking a little respite in the form of your favorite set of pajamas and fuzzy slippers as you ease into your apartment.
The weight of the world sloughs off your shoulders when the door leading inside clicks shut behind you. You sigh gratefully, the sound of your keys clattering against your entryway table, intermingling with that of your AC humming to life.
You hang your bag and sweater on the coat rack. Trade your uncomfortable shoes for house slippers, the soreness in your heels slowly retreating. The last vestiges of sunlight creep through the slits of your blinds to bathe your home in its ethereal glow before ducking behind the horizon.
Your apartment is humble. Has a natural, minimalistic vibe with bits of decor displaying your personality sprinkled throughout. You already pay the price of a kidney and two lungs to stay here. No use investing in posh furniture when your job sometimes requires you to pick up and go at the drop of a hat.
Your stomach growls whilst you draw your curtains shut and turn on some ambient lighting via your phone. You’ll eat soon, you promise. For now, you’re on a mission.
Quietly, you move through your home in search of your laundry area, thoroughly prepared to slip into your PJs following a shower to jumpstart your weekend.
Too bad a pile of sopping wet clothes awaits you when you open your dryer door.
“Goddammit,” said under your breath as you mash the power button. It won’t turn on. Figures. You kick the offending appliance. Stupid thing must be out again.
You had set your clothes to dry before you left for work. You were looking forward to snuggling up with wine and your favorite show, donned in comfy clothes. Seems your dryer had other plans.
You should’ve replaced it months ago when it first started acting up. You had hoped to salvage it a little longer; appliances don’t come cheap these days. Besides, you’ve had a darling neighbor to fix it each time. To extend its lifespan.
Speaking of which—
Chewing your lip, you pad over your cold, hardwood floor to snatch your phone from the coffee table. Fall onto your couch cushions with a devious smile twitching your lips. It’s getting late, so you don’t think to badger him into tinkering with your dryer tonight. However, perhaps he’ll let you utilize his. At least until you can use your day off tomorrow to shop for a replacement.
You hover your thumb over his contact, his name flanked by crow emojis. Contemplate calling him, but what if he’s busy? This is usually about the time he’s leaving. Instead, you settle for opening your messaging app, already conjuring an excuse.
(You): 🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛💥💥💥 (Sylus): lol (Sylus): good morning to you too. (You): 😒😒😒 dude it’s like 6 (Sylus): 🤷♂️ (Sylus): im just now getting up. long day at the office. (Sylus): whats up? (You): are you busy tonight?? (Sylus): not really. 😏 what did you have in mind ? (You): pause. not like that (Sylus): 😢 (You): my dryer’s out again (Sylus): ah. want me to take a look? (You): nah you already do so much (You): is it cool if i use yours tho? 😬😬😬 (You): i’ll bring you booze (Sylus): lol (Sylus): its fine sweetie. doors unlocked. ill be in the shower. help yourself. (You): 🙏🙏🙏
You take your time gathering your saturated clothes into a basket. On your way out, you snag a bottle of Merlot from your fridge.
No matter how often you’ve been here, you don’t think you’ll ever get used to how much more… put together Sylus’ place is compared to yours.
It suits him—the black and red furniture, the stylish accents littering his apartment. It smells delightful inside, a mixture of mahogany and amber enmeshed with remnants of food. Soulful jazz flows from a record player, fitting the sepia-toned glow of floor lamps and candles flickering on every other surface.
You toe the door shut behind you. Feel so small and out of place amid his decor. You’ve only recently started coming here, having spent much of your time together inside your apartment. Regardless, you navigate his space like it’s your second home, finding his washer and dryer set.
After starting your clothes in the dryer, you wander back to the living room, hands stuffed in the pockets of your cardigan. You take some time to admire the atmosphere. Fingers skim over the various vinyls organized on a built-in bookcase on the wall.
You snort with a half-smile. You know so little about your neighbor, yet you know just enough to be this comfortable with him.
He’s a music buff; that much is for sure. He’s clearly made of money if the luxurious furniture and his car are anything to go by. You don’t press him about what he does for a living. Figure he values his privacy above all else, unlike you.
You’re an open book. The primary yapper in your acquaintanceship, prattling on about your life and aspirations. And he just sits there, wordlessly nodding with a polite smile behind the rim of his glass. Where you would otherwise be wary of being in someone’s home like this, you feel safe around him in a way that almost terrifies you.
“Admiring the decor,” teases a voice from behind.
You jolt, spinning around like you’ve been caught stealing. You’re met with a smirk beneath scarlet eyes, twinkling with mischief. Strands of white cling to Sylus’ forehead, damp from the warm spray of his shower. He towels his hair dry, maneuvering around the living set towards you.
“Hey, you,” you greet, trying to play it cool. Like your heart isn’t hammering and heat isn’t branching into your cheeks. You attempt to maintain eye contact. It’s increasingly difficult to do so with his physique peeking through his t-shirt and sweats like that.
“Hey, yourself.” There’s amusement in the deep gravel of his voice. A smile in his eyes as he studies you, draping his towel around his shoulders.
You swallow. Try to divert the subject, motioning to his record collection. “You got some new tunes, I see.”
A chuckle is dredged from the bowels of his chest. You feel it pull in your stomach. “Sure did. Got something you might like.”
God help you as he reaches around you, the fine hairs littering your body standing on end, your mouth agape like a fish out of water.
Unconsciously, you step back, your spine softly thudding against the records display. Your heartbeat’s on a warpath, and you swallow against the dryness of your throat as the veiny, sinewy muscle in his forearm stains your periphery.
He gives you a bemused look before slowly peeling a record from the shelf behind you. Steps back to fish out the vinyl and settle it on the platter, replacing the record that was just playing.
You release a breath you were unaware of holding. Good job playing it cool, dumbass.
“You alright?” Sylus quizzes with a raised brow. “You seem a little on edge tonight, sweetie.”
You sigh, schooling an unconvincing smile onto your face. Try to ignore how the term of endearment glides off his tongue so effortlessly. You wonder how many other people he addresses like that.
“Work was…rough today. Kicked my ass. I’m tired.”
A snarling sound invades the space between you, heard over the gentle croon of the new music. Your eyes fall to your stomach. You rub it placatingly. In all your haste to have some dry friggin’ clothes, you forgot to eat.
“And hungry, too,” you sheepishly add.
You glance up, and Sylus’ gaze tracks from your stomach to your face. He smirks knowingly, motioning with a nod toward his kitchen.
“Figured you didn’t eat yet. I made carbonara if you’d like some.”
You smile wryly at his back as he pads away, carrying the scent of cedarwood and bergamot with him. Where would you be without such a doting neighbor?
You track him to the kitchen. Leaning against the threshold, you watch him procure a bottle of water from his fridge. It’s so very small, dwarfed by his massive hand.
“I suddenly got called for a Teams meeting five minutes ago.”
Your heart drops, the smile nearly falling from your face. And here you thought you’d have his company over dinner.
Suddenly, he taps your nose, drawing you out of your thoughts. You hadn’t noticed when he got closer, swaddled in the static of your bodies being so close. “Where did you run off to,” he rasps, searching your gaze for something.
The proximity of your bodies grows stifling, his warm breath glazing over your skin, dizzying. When he doesn’t find what he’s looking for, he steps back, leaving you shell-shocked and utterly confused.
“In the meantime, make yourself at home. You know where everything is,” he says, brushing past you with an air of finality.
You strain your ears for the noise of a distant door shutting before you make your move, rummaging through his cupboards and drawers for a plate and cutlery. After you’ve scooped a decent helping of food onto your plate, you settle onto one of his velvet couches, cross-legged and shoveling food into your maw.
The fluttering of wings piques your interest. You’ve hardly any time to acknowledge him before a tuft of black, iridescent feathers shines from Sylus’ coffee table. The crow studies you curiously, ingesting you with his beady eyes before he preens himself.
“Me-fith-toe!” you greet around a mouthful of food.
Said crow ducks away, dodging errant crumbs and spit flying from your mouth, cawing in protest. You give him a rueful look.
Sylus has a soft spot for animals. You noted it the first time you entered his apartment, greeted by his boisterous companion. Funny; he doesn’t look like the type to have such an eccentric pet.
But Sylus has found numerous ways of pleasantly surprising you, revealing parts of himself to you bit by agonizing bit.
“Chicken?” you say after finally swallowing, offering a forkful of pasta to the bird. Mephisto scrutinizes the food before resigning himself to pecking at it. You smile fondly, your eyes crinkling with mirth. “Mephisto, you cannibal.”
Lulled by the occasional flap of Mephisto’s wings and Sylus’ even tone murmuring things of business somewhere far off in his home, you fall into a familiar rhythm, quietly waiting for your clothes to dry.
You spend the remainder of your evening in your neighbor’s company, drinking Merlot and judging each other’s music tastes, long after your pajamas have dried and settled in the dryer.
“So, have you boned yet?”
You choke on your waffle. Pound on your chest with the heel of your palm to dislodge it. You turn narrowed eyes on the source of the question. She merely shrugs from across the table, sipping her mimosa as if she’s asked the most innocent thing.
“Bitch.”
“What?” She appears nonplussed, setting her champagne flute down with a definitive clack. All serious when she returns your stare over crossed arms, and you know you’re in for it.
“You talk about the guy so much I figured you would’ve already, ya know…” The humping gesture she makes under the table is a bit much.
You blanch. “No, dumbass, I haven’t boned.” Your voice peters towards the end of your sentence. And you peer down at the napkin folded in your lap, heat prickling your face.
You won’t deny Sylus is good-looking. More like he could be someone modeling Prada on a catwalk. Can’t pretend you haven’t entertained the thought of being a little closer to him, too. More than just the late nights spent talking or him fixing something you broke.
You shake your head. Of all the times you’ve been tucked away in either of your apartments, he’s never made a move on you. Sure, he’s said some pretty suss things. Flirted with you outside of your usual banter.
And maybe he’s done things to confuse the ever-loving hell out of you—cooked you breakfast when you were drunk off your ass and hungover the next morning. Lended you one of his expensive record players. Shacked up at your place a few times under the guise of “coming to get Mephisto.” But—
Nah. He’s not like that. You’re just neighbors, right? Unofficial friends. Friends hang out all the time, right?
“He’s not like that,” you say brattishly, stuffing more food into your face. At least not with you.
You don’t miss your coworker’s fox-like grin spreading in your periphery. She taps her cheek thoughtfully, watching you like a smug sibling about to snitch.
“Sure, sure. If you say so. He’s still a man, though. He might not have tried you yet—”
“Hush,” you interject. The table shakes, cups rattling as you saw into your sausage with your fork and butter knife. You’re done with this conversation.
Try as you might, however, you can’t banish your thoughts revolving around him. Especially with your coworker watching you like that, silently egging you on.
He’s not that kind of guy.
He’s still a man, though.
You’ve repeated it like a mantra throughout your day, even as you mindlessly clacked away at your computer.
Work was a blur. An exhausting blur. Day gave way to the soothing exhale of night, and you were finally nestled in the quiet sanctuary of your apartment, on your couch, entertaining yourself with a game of Uno. It wasn’t much fun playing alone, but you needed a distraction from the mess of your mind when your favorite show couldn’t help.
It’s a quarter past 9 when a shuffling sound in the breezeway outside your apartment catches your attention. It’s accompanied by the echoed rasp of a recognizable voice, chuckling and murmuring indiscernible things.
You peel yourself from your couch as if on autopilot, nose pressed against the cold metal of your door as you peer through the peephole.
It’s your nightly ritual—waiting like an overzealous puppy to greet or send off your neighbor. You don’t always get the luxury of saying goodnight in person. Sometimes, he’s gone for days—weeks—at a time. You don’t know the semantics of his job, but you make it your mission to help assuage whatever burdens he shoulders whenever you can.
He’s there to help you, after all. Whether with a glass of wine, a warm meal, or his company.
So, forgive you for wanting to be a decent neighbor. And you would be tonight if not for the scene that passes through the fisheye of your peephole.
It’s Sylus, clad in something flattering and expensive. There’s no mistaking his broad back and shoulders. The purl of his voice, the wispy dusting of alabaster hair on his collar. But the smaller frame with him, well—
Your heart plummets into your stomach.
She’s pretty from what you can glean from the limited view of your peephole. Donned in a dress that’s form-fitting, voice high and light. Giggling silly things, fastened to Sylus’ side, held there by a virile arm draped around her middle. She’s drunk if the sloppy lean of her body is anything to go by. Sylus angles himself near her ear to whisper something, ushering in a new set of giggles.
You watch with your breath corked in your esophagus until they slide into his apartment together, their enmeshed voices fading from the stilled walls of the hallway.
Huh. Well, so much for him not being that type of guy.
You grapple with this new revelation, a furrow between your brows, hands falling listlessly at your sides. Numb as you drag yourself back to your couch, bouncing comically on the cushions.
You don’t even know why you’re upset. He's a grown man with a…life. You think.
It’s the first time you’ve witnessed him bringing someone to his place other than you, but it’s only natural for a guy like him to have options. He’s far from hideous. Has the gift of gab, for God’s sake. He’s charming and the very definition of masculine.
It just stings a little, knowing that it’s not…you that he’s touching like that.
So, you are definitely not flinging Uno cards onto the coffee table. Muttering things to yourself, gripping the stack in your hands so tightly, the plastic squeaks. What’s even got your undies in a bunch? The man’s not yours. You’ve never screwed around. Never really showed signs of wanting to, so it makes sense he would seek pleasures of the flesh elsewhere. His world doesn’t solely revolve around you as much as you would like for it to.
You’re halfway through a third round of angry card-flinging before a soft rap at your door nearly sends you some 30 feet into the air.
Stomping to your entrance, you peek through the peephole, and your heart works overtime when you catch sight of a wash of black and scarlet.
Internally, you scold yourself for how gullible you are. You throw the door open like you weren’t just cursing him and his stupid existence moments ago. Try to act nonplussed, crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe with a haughty look.
Of course, he would smell good. Look good, propped against the threshold like that, an amused cant to his lips, his physique devastating beneath the tight cling of his turtleneck.
“Hey,” he greets, the sound breathy and easy like warmed honey.
“Hey, yourself.”
He studies you for a bit. Eyes flicker over your face, and you tamp down the sparkling rush of warmth that wades over your skin at the attention. Even when you’re mad at him, your attraction still finds an annoying way of creeping through the seams.
“This is going to sound incredibly strange, and feel free to tell me to piss off, but…do you mind if I crash on your couch for the night?”
You stand up straight. Blink owlishly, mouth opening and closing. “Huh?” is all you’re able to muster.
He chuckles, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this side of bashful. “Yeah. It’s a…bit of a long story, sweetie.”
“O-Okay,” you say, rigidly moving aside.
“Thanks.” The charm is back on, turned up to max capacity. He brushes past you into your apartment, falling onto your couch with a huff. Quirks a brow at the mishap on your table, the carnage having spilled onto the floor.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but were you playing Uno by yourself?”
You ignore him, plopping cross-legged on a floor cushion adjacent to him. Bypassing the tick in your brow, you look off to the side, fighting the embarrassment threatening to take hold of your visage. Shouldn’t he be across the hall, entertaining his company?
“Shut up and grab some cards,” you grumble to dispel the green-eyed thoughts stewing in your mind.
“Bossy.” But he doesn’t contest you, gathering the abused cards to shuffle them.
The remainder of your evening slides by with comfortable quips. With booze and a break to catch up on Love Is Blind—somehow, he’d roped you into watching it.
You had no idea he was such a sap. Nearly forgotten how miffed you were mere hours ago.
He assuaged your worries with an explanation as the sun crept over the city.
The girl in his apartment was an old colleague who’d gotten drunk and convinced herself that she was anything but.
Being a good samaritan, Sylus brought her to his place to sober up since the apartment complex wasn’t too far from the main strip of bars. He didn’t want any issues when she inevitably woke up. Messing with drunk people wasn’t his thing.
So that’s how he ended up here, inhabiting your couch like he’d always been a part of the decor.
He didn’t owe you an explanation. You were just friends. Still, you couldn’t help the quiet smile that twitched your lips after he cleared the air.
At some point in the morning, you both fell asleep. He looked all serene, too big for your sofa, but comfortable. You watched his lashes flutter from your place on the floor, his lips parting with soundless exhales. Even in sleep, he maintained that guarded aura, his arms folded across his chest.
You were bleary-eyed, gathering yourself from the hardwood to fetch a blanket to drape over him. He shifted, and he was so pretty with the sun bathing him in an angelic glow like that, his hair bright like a halo.
You were about to retreat to your bedroom when an abrupt knock tore you from your reverie. You glanced at your guest, ensuring he went undisturbed. He needed the rest. He was a night owl, and something about the sun vexed him, so he typically spent his days sleeping when you weren’t impeding on his time.
You moved to the door, foregoing the peephole to open it. Big mistake.
On the other side stood Little Miss Pretty from the night prior, impatiently tapping her foot. Her hair was flattened on one side, and her dress was askew. By the looks of it, sleep hadn’t been kind to her.
“Hi, good morning,” she sighed, schooling her expression into fake politeness. She straightened herself as best she could, but the white patch of dried slob staining her chin did little to help her plight. You bit back a snicker.
“I’m looking for a friend. He lives across from you. His name’s Skye.”
You quirked a brow at that. Skye? Oh, honey…
You wondered how many other people Sylus had fed a fake alias to. Or if Sylus was even his real name.
“Haven’t seen him,” you chirped over crossed arms. Pulled the door slightly closed behind you, barring the woman from getting a peek at him, nuzzled up so cozily on your couch.
She sighed with slumped shoulders. A childish pout warped her lips. Her voice shifted into something more bratty. “You sure? Tall guy, white hair, red eyes? You can’t miss ‘em.”
“Not ringing a bell, hun. Sorry.”
It was taking all of you to keep up this ruse. You were fighting so hard to tamp down your amusement. This woman reminded you of an antagonist in a Korean drama, the way she was kicking and huffing about.
“Where the hell did he go,” she groused. You watched her draw her phone from the pocket of her fur coat, your throat growing dry.
Your blood turned to ice when a familiar ringtone chimed in your apartment behind you. You stiffened comically; mouth hinged open with shock.
The woman’s expression morphed into one of suspicion. She tried to look inside your home, the upbeat ring of Sylus’ phone still flooding the uncomfortable silence.
She narrowed her eyes, trying to assert her way inside. “What the fu—”
“Hey, girlie. Back the hell off before I call the police,” you warned with a hand pushed to her sternum. She insisted on being unruly, so you snatched your taser from the entryway table, the telltale blue sparks and sharp whip of static causing the woman to jolt back with alarm.
“You’re both insane!” she shouted from the hallway, the stomp of her heels reverberating off the walls as she made her way to the stairwell.
With a relieved sigh deflating your chest, you eased the door shut. Leaned against it, glancing at the man of the hour. He was still fast asleep, his leg dangling off the edge of your sofa. You smirked knowingly, shaking your head as you disappeared into your bedroom.
You’d let him sleep for as long as he needed. And you’d give him shit when he awoke about his taste in acquaintances.
(Sylus): hungry? (You): a little. was gonna make some ramen if you want (Sylus): 🤢 (Sylus): that stuffs terrible for your digestion sweetie. (Sylus): how about i make you dinner instead ? (Sylus): at the supermarket. need anything? (You): 😲😲😲 (You): you keep spoiling me and i might think you like me (Sylus): 😏 (You): nvm. no don’t need anything. lemme know when you’re back (You): i can help with groceries (Sylus): now who likes who? (You): fkdkos (Sylus): ? (You): sorry fat fingers
You have a nasty habit of not using your peephole as of late.
Your apartment came with one for a reason. Sure, your neighborhood’s been pretty tame since you’ve moved here. But that doesn’t mean the occasional weirdo doesn’t slip past security, roaming the halls and startling the other tenants.
You’ve found yourself forgoing the use of it a lot lately, given the only person who typically knocks on your door is the guy across the hall. And he usually calls or texts before he bugs you, but that doesn’t stop him from being spontaneous. You suppose today is one of those such cases after he manipulated you with dinner.
Maybe his hands are full, you muse, unlocking your door. Though you’re doubtful he can’t handle a few bags. You’ve seen him in action at the community gym, thick cords of muscle rippling beneath a tan stretch of skin.
You draw the door open with a smile, expecting to see a customary thatch of white. What confronts you instead sends a tide of dread washing over your innards.
“Oh, thank God you’re home,” breathes a voice you haven’t heard in months. A voice that still makes your body stiffen, and your blood run cold.
When your senses return, you step back into your apartment, thoroughly intending to slam the door in your ex’s face. They’re quicker, however, wedging themselves in the gap before you can shut it. Grabbing for you, a crazed look warping their features.
“Baby, please! Talk to me! I miss you!”
You bat at their hand, trying vainly to crush them, to scare them off. It’s to no avail, and you wonder if they’re coked up, giving you a run for your money as they try to bully their way into your home.
There’s a softball bat propped on the wall, and your fingers brush the base of it in your attempt to grab it. Something to defend yourself since your taser’s out of reach, tucked somewhere in your bag.
The sounds of your struggle intermingle, your voice strained and panting, please please please, and your ex’s caught between sobs of your name.
Just a little further. Just—
Suddenly, there’s no more resistance in your door. You stumble against it, a wild look in your eyes. And then, there is the noise of a brief scuffle. Of a back being shoved against a wall, of rusting plastic bags, of “Who the fuck are you?!”
Amid your panicked frenzy, you glance up to see a back to you. Barring you from the view beyond your threshold, and your body’s awash with relief as you register your savior’s form.
“You would do well to piss off,” seethes Sylus, and there’s an edge to his voice you’ve never heard before. You feel it furling in your stomach, burning your lungs. And in this moment, you don’t know who to be more afraid of.
Your ex makes a sound of protest, but you imagine the cut of Sylus’ eyes deterring them.
There is the scuffling of shoes across the concrete flooring of the breezeway, and you listen with bated breath until the cacophony fades at the foot of the stairs, willing your heart to ease down.
Scarlet eyes shift to you, brows knit with concern. “Who was that?” Sylus asks, tone cautious as if he doesn’t want to startle you more than you’ve already been.
You right yourself, smoothing out the wrinkles of your clothes. Finally grab your bat, waving it intimidatingly as you step aside to let your neighbor in.
“My stupid ex. Just know you saved their life. ‘cause I was gonna—” You make swinging gestures, the metal bat swooping in the air. The corners of Sylus’ eyes crinkle.
“Slow down before you hurt yourself.” He kneels to retrieve the bags he’d tossed down in his haste to intervene. You scurry over to help, gathering up spilled food.
Once you’re both inside, the bags placed haphazardly on the counter, you’re seated on your sofa, nursing the rush of adrenaline still spuming through you like the hot rush of a geyser.
“You need to get a restraining order,” says Sylus. He emerges from your kitchen with a tense set to his jaws, two bottles of Angry Orchard clasped between his fingers.
Plopping down beside you, an arm draped over the headrest, he shoves a bottle into your hand, side-eyeing you as he throws his head back for a swig.
You babysit the cider, the crisp condensation of it serving to ground you. “Yeah, yeah.”
“I’m not asking, sweetie.”
You bristle under the weight of his tone, feeling much like a scolded child. You know this. Should’ve done it long ago the first time your ex took it upon themselves to do surprise pop-ups at your place—at your job.
“And an alarm system.”
“I know, I know.”
“I can take you right now to look for one—”
“I got it, Sy! Fuck, I-I got it.” You release a weighted sigh, warring with yourself.
Not only do you feel silly for being so lackadaisical with your life. But now, you feel even worse for the seemingly impenetrable silence that settles between you. You didn’t mean to yell, frustration and adrenaline having burbled to the surface. He was just worried. No need to take your emotions out on him.
Sylus exhales slowly, an unreadable expression descending onto his face whilst staring at the wall.
“Sorry,” you murmur, unconsciously patting his quad. You don’t miss how he stiffens; don’t miss the tight coiling of tendons in his neck. You retract your hand, instead drumming your fingers along the bottom of your bottle.
“I’m assuming this isn’t the first time this has happened,” queries Sylus in an attempt to dispel the tense atmosphere.
You shake your head, shrinking into yourself. Stare at your lap, pulling at some frayed threads in your bottoms.
“How did they even manage to get up here?”
You shrug. The security guards at the gates aren’t always the most attentive. Besides, sometimes, the pin pad leading into the lobby malfunctions, making it easier for anyone to just slip into your complex.
Unprompted, you begin to bare yourself, explaining the possibilities of why your ex showed up.
Sylus listens attentively. Doesn’t interrupt you, watching the subtle shifts of your expressions as you speak.
You tell him that things weren’t bad in the beginning about two years ago. How your ex said and did all the right things, and they were wonderful. But they wanted something you weren’t ready for. You had some growing up to do, so you broke things off. Moved to another city, started a new job.
You didn’t bank on them following you.
The visits were random at first. Occasional run-ins at the park, the bar. Things soon blossomed into something more concerning when your ex found your new address after you relocated to another part of the city to ease the stress of the commute.
This was their second time making an appearance at your door. You knew you should’ve done something to protect yourself sooner, but you didn’t think much of it then. Figured they would live and let be. Today proved otherwise.
“You’re grossly naive, sweetie.”
You snort before gulping down the remnants of your cider. “Way to make me feel better.”
He chuckles, and it’s comforting, your thighs pressing together amid your dinky couch. “It’s what I’m here for. But I could understand how you could drive someone to such extremes.”
You glare at him. “What the hell does that mean?”
“It means…”
Before you know what’s about, he’s panning in, flooding your vision with the scarlet shine of his eyes. With the wispy dance of his lashes until his breath fans over your molten cheeks. Limber fingers sneak beneath your chin, slightly tilting your head back.
Warmth wades over you. Your breath swells in your chest. Lips purse as a mysterious shade of burgundy leaks over his irises. His voice drops a few octaves, husky, the sound of it pinching in your stomach.
“It means that you’re someone worth fighting for.”
You scoff, shaking yourself away from his hold. Ignore the bashfulness creeping into your face in favor of being a cheeky little shit.
“All right, Li Shang. Getting a little too serious over there.”
He huffs a laugh in response, popping up to grab another round of ciders from your fridge.
Ingredients sat untouched on the countertop as your evening eased by. You’d settled on a pizza, catching up on shows and talking, long after the moon had pinned itself to the center of the sky.
Sylus promised to teach you how to use a gun. He had plenty and would carve out time in his schedule to take you to a range. He didn’t press much after, instead letting the weight of your evening melt from your shoulders.
He was reluctant to leave you, even after sunbeams spilled through your blinds and you snoozed so quietly, cheek propped against his shoulder.
His hand never left your thigh. Possessive in its touch as he mirrored your affections from before.
It’s strange.
Today is your birthday. You’re enjoying yourself, filled with enough alcohol to tranquilize a small goat.
Your co-workers had dragged you out. Surprised you with dinner, a cake. Took you to the strip of bars lining the streets adjacent to your apartment complex. You were all smiles until your cheeks ached, and you’d nearly thrown up from laughing so much.
Still, you feel…empty. Like something is missing. Or someone.
You look at your phone for the umpteenth time. Scroll through your messages, reliving the moment in your head.
Sylus was the first to wish you a happy birthday. It made you swell with overwhelming happiness, knowing he’d woken up so early to be the first to say it. You don’t think you’ve ever cried harder when he sent a voice message of him singing “Happy Birthday.”
God, for everything he was good at, poor baby couldn’t hold a note to dig himself out of a hole. Still, you cherished the gesture, lying in bed for the first hour you’d been awake, replaying said message and rolling around your bed like an enamored teen.
Even now, you replay the voice note, holding the speaker to your ear. It’s hard to hear it amid the live band playing and the merriment around you at the bar. Try as you might to enjoy what remains of your night, you can’t keep your thoughts from drifting back to a certain smug figure clad in black.
(You): 🐦⬛🐦⬛🐦⬛💥💥💥 (Sylus): hows it going birthday babe? (You): 😭😭😭 (You): u shuld be her e (Sylus) im sorry sweetie. i had some work to catch up on. (Sylus): you must be having a good time. 😏 (You): fuk wrk 🖕🖕🖕 (You): am not drink ur dronk (Sylus): lol. you sound plastered. (Sylus): do i need to come rescue you? (You): hum (Sylus): ? (You): hone (You): home (Sylus): 🫤 (Sylus): we need to have a serious talk about you enabling autocorrect. (You): r u (You): home (Sylus): about to be. why ?? (Sylus): sweetie?
Somehow, you find yourself staring at the glossy, black numbers embossed on the top center of his door. 302. It’s ingrained in your memory. You’d probably find your way to his apartment with your eyes closed, driven to it by the familiar smell and homeliness it exudes.
You’re still a little tipsy. Took some time to sober up as best you could before ditching your friends and catching an Uber back to your complex. You had enough sense to gather everything you’d shown up with. Didn’t hitch a ride with any strangers regardless of how many of them tried to pull you into their arms as you stumbled out of the bar.
You had a one-track mind. Only wanted to spend the rest of your birthday with him.
With a goofy smile plastered on your face, you knock on his door. You’re singing that infectious song you can’t get out of your head when it swings open.
“Apateu-pateu, apateu-pateu,” you chant, shaking your hips from side to side.
He greets you with an omniscient smirk, eyes softening whilst leaning against the doorframe. “Well, hello, birthday babe.”
“Sup!” you return a little too enthusiastically, pitching forward until Sylus steadies you with his hands. You giggle like a drunken fool, peering at him. Hadn’t realized how good his hands felt, searing through the fabric of your top.
Come to think of it, you hadn’t noticed many things about him before. His lips are a pretty shade of pink. Skin textured, nose sharp, cheeks high. Little flecks of amber dwell between the scarlet rinse of his eyes. His hair falls into his face, damp from the shower he probably had before answering the door.
“I take it you had a good night,” he says, gaze painting a steady triangle between your eyes and mouth.
“Almost,” you whisper back, surprised by the huskiness of your voice. You lose yourself in the idle stir of his eyes. In the fragility of his smile, and you feel so safe in his hands like this.
You don’t know what compels you to do it. To conquer the space of hot, dizzying breaths between you. But, you sort of…well…
Your inhibitions hit the floor. With your fingers wrapped tenderly around his wrists, you angle yourself closer to kiss him. You almost pull away when he stiffens. But he seemingly relaxes, and his lips cautiously move against yours as he unconsciously guides you closer.
You cling to the sleeves of his sweatshirt. He encircles your waist in his powerful arms, fastening you to the hard press of his body. He kisses you like he’s waited lifetimes to do it, one hand molding around the apple of your cheek.
When your tongue sloppily prods the barrier of his teeth, he bristles. Draws away from you with a resounding smack, blinking wildly. You’re confused. Your heart sinks. You try again to draw him back in, but he gently pushes you away, shaking his head to dispel the bleariness. To chase away the spell that’s fallen over you.
“Baby, wait. No. Not…not like this,” he rasps through kiss-swollen lips, holding you by your hips. You’re wounded. A hot flush of embarrassment washes over you, and your brows knit together like those of a confused puppy.
“Wha-what’s wrong? Did I—am I—”
“No, no, you’re…you're perfect,” he soothes with a chuckle, a thumb gliding over your bottom lip. “Beautiful, even. I just…I don’t think now is a good time to do this.”
“Oh.” You deflate, a scorching film of tears clouding your vision. “Oh, okay. Um, I’ll just—yeah, I’ll go. I’ll…see you around, I guess.”
You slide out of his arms, too mortified to look back as you fumble with your keys. After he murmurs a hoarse, “good night.” Did you misread him before? Misinterpret his actions, his words?
You’re numb as you sink into your couch. Sobriety slowly creeps in. Stray tears blister your cheeks, but you don’t full-on sob. Can’t bring yourself to, instead laughing hysterically with your face buried in your hands, swallowed by the bleak loneliness of your apartment.
Happy Birthday, indeed.
#sylus x reader#sylus x you#neighbor au#neighbors to friends#friends to lovers#sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#sylus love and deepspace#qin che#sylus fluff#sylus romance#lnds x reader#love and deepspace fic#gn reader
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"YOU'RE AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE DAY I LOST YOU" (katsuki b.) !
features: katsuki bakugo
contents: fantasy au. angst. hurt/comfort/more hurt. mutual pining. barabrian!katsuki. fem!reader. childhood friends to lovers to strangers to lovers again. kidnapping. grief. crying. implied panic attack. major character death. no beta we die like men. 3.9k
notes: i've been yearning desperately to make bakugo say stoick's famous line from httyd2 (my second favorite movie)... if there's interest i'm considering continuing this into the canon verse with it being these two 'reincarnated'.
tagging: @saexy (for enabling and encouraging me in killing off characters) & @meristryker (for enabling me in the gc like a real one)
never in all his life did the great katsuki bakugo think that he would ever love someone enough that he could die. watching the loving smiles of his parents, the gentle caress of his father's hand to soothe his mother's unbridled anger: it made his stomach churn.
yet, at the tender age of seven, while on a trip to a nearby village to discuss the war shifting on the horizon, he finds himself absolutely smitten by their chieftain's daughter. wide e/c eyes peeking out from behind her mother's leg, hands clutching onto the hem of the long skirt.
katsuki finds himself enamoured in that instance, seeing sweet you, looking at the boy with such curious eyes. he stomps over to you: temper even fiery in his youth. his hand grabs onto yours as he hauls you out from behind the safety of your mother.
under the dim candlelight of the meeting room, flickering flames cast dancing rays across your skin. his chubby little face is scrunched into a scowl, tugging you out of the room and into the courtyard with a tenderness that betrayed his expression.
"i'm katsuki and you better not forget it!" his pitchy voice calls, still dragging you behind him. he looks over his shoulder, soft red eyes narrowed in what was an attempt to be intimidating.
but when he sees the relaxing of your eyelids, falling slightly in contentment, with a warm smile that rivals any feeling of victory: the mask of indifference slips in a blink of an eye. red dusts over the slops of his face, baby-fat painted the same carnelian as his eyes. his small hand grips tighter onto yours, as if he never would let you go.
your chubby little face stretches as your smile widens into a toothy grin, eyes crinkling at the corners. "got it, katsuki, i'm y/n!" he swears your voice is just like the lullaby his mother would hum while rocking him to sleep, bringing a rush of warmth through his chest.
that day, katsuki bakugou falls terribly in love with y/n l/n.
the two of you are deemed inseparable, hands always connecting like opposing poles of a magnet. pinkies intertwined stronger than any woven cloth. it's as pure and innocent as it can be.
if one were to see y/n, then it was irrevocably certain that katsuki was a few steps away. it sends rumors spiralling through the lands that there will be a union between the bakugo barbaricum and l/n dynasty. you're only eight when there's an attempt made for your hand.
the thought of two families as powerful as you and katsuki's joining was a fearful thing to many. it spelled doom for many weaker civilizations, those who had dug their own graves with their actions.
your family, blessed be you to have been born to loving parents in a world such as this, easily rejects the many proposals. the l/n dynasty is in a state of power where they are not forced to fend for their village: allowing you this freedom.
running through the streets of his stronghold, chasing each other for the sake of some game that was the farthest thing from either of your minds. katsuki feels whole when you are at his side. the world doesn't seem so ugly, he doesn't feel so angry, everything sings the hymns of the heavens.
he can't pull his ruby eyes off of your form by the age of fifteen. the katsuki you had known, baby-faced with a slight stutter, has began to fill out into a man. his shoulders broaden and begin to carry thick cords of muscle. the chubbiness of his cheeks begins to give rise to sharper angles. his whiny voice is pushed aside by a more gravelly tone. he shoots up like a sprout, hunching over slightly in faces that used to fit him so easily.
but he isn't the only one who is growing into his frame. your shoulders soften at the corners, collarbones visible with every slight movement. your baby fat begins to settle and collect on your hips, rounding them. those toothy grins of yours become framed by pretty lips, always looking soft as a pillow. clothes that used to drape over your like a sheet now feel tighter in certain places, stretching over curves that popped up overnight.
the two of you don't know what to do with yourselves, stolen looks when the other isn't looking. you still hook pinkies, but the touch sends flares of heat running up the back of your neck. it's like you were just meeting each other for the first time all over again.
katsuki feels like a damn sap with the way his heart thunders under his skin: threatening to burst out. he's too taken to notice the heat that was rising to your face whenever he was around, the way your hands nervously would grip onto the swaying fabric of your skirt. too blind to see that you were just as infatuated with him as he was with you.
hurried words, lingering touches, sneaking glances, the two of you had every hint of love right in front of your faces. yet, there's a hesitance that lingers in the back of young minds: afraid that falling in love would end up with no one catching them.
unsurprisingly, katsuki is the one who jumps first. it's a quiet night, the moon is high in the sky. his breath puffs out in front of him like smoke, winter beginning to show herself once more.
you looked too beautiful under the soft azure glow that the celestial sky casts upon you, he simply couldn't bear another moment without you known how much his very soul ached for you.
on the eve of his sixteenth birthday he whispers the words like a prayer, voice softened and gentle for once in his life. "y/n... you plague my every waking thought, i cannot let my heart beat any longer without it being yours."
e/c eyes widen as your head snaps to him, lips parting in shock. katsuki beats you to it, rough palms (once baby-soft) cupping your cheek with a tenderness he was unaware he possessed.
the stars illuminate the sunkissed slopes of his cheekbones, showing the fine lashes that fan out over his eyes. katsuki was ethereal, in every sense of the word, it catches your breath in a hitch. your mind stumbles through everything you could say right now, desperately trying to find the perfect response.
but when the pads of his thumbs drag over the apples of your cheeks, leaving a buzz in the wake of his touch, all rational thought leaves as you allow words to flow like a stream. "i have loved you longer than i have known you, katsuki." your voice is hushed, only filling the small space between the two of you: like a secret that only he and you would ever know.
it sends a trill up your spine when his eyes visibly soften, his face had been growing more and more sharp by the day but only when he was with you did the curve of his cheeks soften. he turns back into a boy around you, as you turn back into a girl when held so gently between his hands.
katsuki surges forwards, nose clumsily knocking against yours, teeth colliding with your own. he's inexperienced, never having kissed a girl, much less even though of kissing anyone but you. you both are a mess, giggling softly through messy pecks smearing over each other's faces. it feels like you're both those giddy kids once more, chasing the other through the cobbled streets of your village. he makes your heart sing.
it was even harder to be apart from him now, hands fully clasped together as you walk through the streets of either of your hometowns. yet, no one is surprised. neither of your parents nor his even bat an eye when you announce the courtship at a family dinner.
love is as natural as breathing for you and katsuki. inherently you have always known exactly what the other needs. he knows just how much you like the wildflowers that grow en-route between your homes. you know just how much he likes when you rise on your tiptoes and press a kiss against the corner of his lips.
it's young and dumb, a rush of big emotions and smiles that stretch your cheeks so far they ache. once you both are eighteen, katsuki turns the courtship into a betrothal. an elegant gold ring, with a garnet slotted right in the center, it sits pretty on your ring finger. his band is thicker, small e/c gemstones scattered along the surface. when in battle he loops it through a chain around his neck: pressing a kiss to the ring before charging forwards.
the world has known y/n l/n and katsuki bakugo have been in love for nearly twelve years, official for three, and betrothed for one. the bakugo barbaricum and the l/n dynasty have began making their plans to unify upon the wedding. it sparks a wave of unease in the badlands.
all it takes is an emissary sent from the dark forest for your world to crumble into shambles. a demon who seems to be the land's scourge reincarnated, hand that turn all to ash, pillages your beloved village. he comes in tow with a mimic and a fire mage. destruction rains as you are brought to the center as their singular demand is you.
your eyes lock with the demon's red eyes, a color that had made you feel so safe until now. the hair on the nape of your neck stands pin-straight as his hand extended towards you: palm up.
a flurry of emotions rush through you like a burst dam, memories of katsuki at the forefront. you want to be selfish, to damn him and his band of criminals to hell, to fight back despite the gravity of the situation. but he is bringing terror upon the people you swore to protect with your life.
so, you step forwards, soft hand sliding into his own. never had a rough palm felt like daggers against your skin, never had you so violently despised the way carmine shines in the light of blue flames.
to save your people, your family, the home you have known your entire life: you go. swept away in black mist. the last thing you see of that place is the bakugo horde rushing towards the gates, your eyes lock with katsuki's before the void claims you.
katsuki lets out a guttural scream as her charges head first into the miasma, falling onto the ground as the last wisp flows just through his fingers. his fist slams against the ground, hands gasping at the dirt you had just been on. he allows himself to cry in front of someone other than you, a wail echoing through the ruins of your village.
that day, you disappear off the face of the realm. no matter how many search parties are sent into the dark forests in the badlands, they all return empty-handed (if they return at all). katsuki keep his ring around his neck, so it beats against his bare chest with every movement: like a reminder of how it felt when his heart actually beat .
scars wind around his arms, around his biceps, over his forearms, across his shoulders. his face is hardened, permanent frown on the lips you used to kiss so tenderly. he's angrier than ever, fuse short as his attention span.
he is a shell of the man he had been, going through the motions of survival but never truly being alive.
this persists for a grueling two years. for seven-hundred and thirty days. for seventeen-thousand five-hundred twenty hours. he is separated from the only person that has ever felt like home, the woman he has loved longer than he knew how to read.
he masks it behind his ego, boisterous laugh to hide the ringing in is ears that hadn't been able to stop. he's more violent the field, less forgiving when in training with kirishima. the explosions that thunder from his palms produce a blackened smoke that lingers and settles in his lungs like a fog.
yearning hits him late at night when he lays alone in bed, a bed that you had once shared with him. silent tears pour, running down the sides of katsuki's face as he stares blankly up at the ceiling. his breath feels short as his chest heaves to get air in. the man's mind is clouded with the look on your face as those bastards took you. he can still remember every single little twitch of your expression when you finally saw him. he remembers the way your breath hitched. he remembers the tears that began to pool at the corners of your eyes.
but, most of all, he remembers not seeing you: for what feels like the first time in his life.
katsuki cannot recall when he finally fell asleep, or if he ever even truly did. his dreams are plagued with you anyways, so the line between memory and dream is thin as a tightrope.
he has a dream that he makes it in time to save you and wakes up alone. that one sticks with him for months, hanging over him like a shadow. if he was only a minute sooner, a stride faster, reacted quicker. maybe you would be in his arms right now instead of gods know where.
relief comes in a rumor that circles in a tavern that a woman with h/c hair and e/c eyes was spotted wondering through the dark forest. katsuki doesn't hesitate, he makes no effort to send out a scout party. he rides at dawn, horse hooves beating against the grass in a frenzied gallop as he makes his way into the badlands.
none of the rouges or thieves hope to stand a chance with him, the smart ones don't even try. he vanquishes the less fortunate with a single swing of his cutlass. the man doesn't stop to rest, only to water his horse and allow it to graze while he catches a brief nap.
his horse comes to a stop right outside the dark forests, whinnying in rejection to enter. katsuki doesn't blame the poor thing, this was the kind of place people went with no intention to come back from. he dismounts, not tying his horse off: it would return with a whistle.
the forest is eerie, yawning opening that is reminiscent of a gaping mouth. but he didn't fear. because at this point, he'd rather not come back if it meant he wasn't coming back with you.
footfalls crunching against leaves and sticks echo through the dim lit treeline. the canopy is so thick that it completely obscures the bright sunlight katsuki has just been under: the perfect place for criminals to hide. the trees creak and groan, as if the land itself was breathing and living.
only when he hears the snap of a twig does he stop, his head snaps around, a flash of h/c darting just out of the corner of his visions. the man's heart stops as he stumbles to pursue, not minding the whipping of low handing branches against his face. not when he could see you darting through the underbrush.
he finally sees you in the full when you run into a path dead-ended by brambles. it's really you. y/n, his y/n.
but you look over your shoulder with such a forlorn look it makes his heart ache in his chest. you don't believe that it's really him. "toga, this isn't funny, it's cruel to keep making me see him." your voice is rougher than he remembered, as if your throat had been worn. it makes his fists clench at his sides.
the mimic had been wearing his face, just to torment you?
just the thought of it sends a rage burning deep in his chest. he has no way of knowing what you have been through. katsuki couldn't protect you: like he always feared he would fail to do.
his steps toward you are hesitant, ruby red eyes softening the second he sees your face. his heart is pounding out of his ribs, it makes him wonder if you can hear it.
a rough hand reaches up to roughly tug the chain that held his engagement band around his neck, the links snapping and clattering to the ground. he doesn't even look at it. with a gentleness, he holds out the ring to you.
your eyes dart back between the metal and him, hands tentatively reaching for it. the thundering race of your heartbeat is all you can hear. your hands, once soft, now rough as his bush against his own as you roll the ring between your fingers.
katsuki's heart breaks when he feels the callouses on your fingertips. he lowers slowly to his knees in front of you, tears fighting their way to prick at the corners of his eyes. he looks up at you like you are the light in the world, a goddess before him. in a way, you are, because he had prayed to every deity to hold you again, even if it was only once more.
"you're as beautiful as the day i lost you." his words come out in a rasp. thick emotion coursing through his chest; nearly choking him.
he watched your eyes widen, tears pooling as you too crash onto the ground. your arms wrap tight around his neck, face pressed side-by-side with his own. strong arms encircle your waist in an instant, pressing you closer with an urgency.
"katsuki... oh gods, katsuki..." you don't even know what to say, just repeating his name like a desperate prayer. your cheeks are wet and your chest aches but you don't care, because he's finally here.
lips clash desperately, just as messy as the kiss the two of you first shared five years ago. it's a mess of teeth and tongue as your fingers tangle into ash-blonde hair, his hands finding the back of your head and your hip. he sucks the breath out of you, as if wanting to absorb you into his being.
and you'd let him if he asked.
carmine eyes search for e/c, his hands cupping your cheeks as he pulls back to study your face. it's like you never left. your eyes are tired, there's some grime on your cheeks, a soft scar above your eyebrow that you've had since you were thirteen.
the softest smile spreads on his face, forehead pressing against yours as his lashes flutter shut. katsuki lets out a deep sigh, one he had been holding for nearly two years now.
warmth blooms in your chest as everything finally settles back into place like puzzle pieces. your hearts beat in sync, you draw breath when he exhales, everything is right in the world once more.
but your heart skips a beat as your eyes open to see that cursed white hair with horns peeking out from below it. tomura shigaraki. a wicked smirk on his lips as he's leaned back against a tree, simply watching.
your hands grip tighter onto the back of the shawl draping over katsuki's shoulders, breathing turning shaky and ragged.
no. no. no. they couldn't take this from you. not again. not after how hard you fought to escape the league just at the fleeting chance of being able to see the man you love. this had to be some cruel joke, right? a trick of the light, maybe...
even you aren't naive enough to believe that, your eyes close as you lean against katsuki, head burying into the crook of his neck. your fiddle with his hands to slip the ring back onto it's rightful place on his third finger. a part of you had already resigned to being ripped away again.
after two years with the demon, you learned firsthand what shigaraki was capable of. and you were not going to allow katsuki to find it out as well.
your legs shook as you stood, a weak smile given at your lover's confused look. "i'll always love you, 'suki, you know that." his eyes widen as his head nods, brows furrowing.
"then let me keep you safe."
carnelian irises widen in realization as his head turns to look back, growl ripping from his chest at the sight of the scourge of the realm's protege. his hands immediately reach for the hilt of his sword, explosions popping in his palms.
but you're already beginning to approach. katsuki seizes you in one arm, hauling you away like the day you first met. he runs through the forest with you: knowing that shigaraki would not allow the both of you to leave.
he bounds over winding tree roots, holding you steady and tight against his chest. the impending sense of doom begins to crawl up the back of his neck, but he needs you to be safe.
with you in his arm, he stumbles out of the forest, shrill whistle leaving his lips as the sound of hooves grows closer. with ease he sets you up on the saddle, but he does not join. you realize immediately what is about to happen. "katsuki-"
"no. it's my turn to keep you safe, y/n. i've always loved you, and i always will. in every life i will find you, and in every life, i will protect you." his words bring tears to your eyes as you desperately stake your head, sobs bubbling past your lips.
shigaraki creeps out of the forest and he delivers a harsh smack to the horse's haunches, sending it galloping away. within a second later a hand is reaching through katsuki's chest, mocking laugh against his ear.
"how heroic. i'll make sure you die slow, barbarian."
never in all his life did the great katsuki bakugo think that he would ever love someone enough that he could die.
that was until he lay on the edge of the forest floor, lifeblood leaking from the gaping hole in the center of the chest. but he wasn't anguished: because he died for you, the only person who he would ever love.
okkotsuus 24
#mha#mha x reader#bnha#bnha x reader#my hero academia#my hero academia x reader#boku no hero academia#boku no hero academia x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo#bakugo#bakugo x reader#bakugou#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugo katsuki#bakugo katuski x reader
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KAGEHINA FICS MASTERLIST
• ⭐️🎖️ jellyfish, by mysterytwin — hinata makes a list of things to do before graduation; and that includes confessing his feelings to kageyama. a wonderful story, so heartwarming. my utmost favorite.
• ⭐️ in transit, by mysecretfanmoments — while riding the bus together, hinata begins to discover about his feelings for kageyama. absolutely lovely.
• dare, by majesticartax — kagehina’s chosen to play a dare in which they end up locked in a room, and, of course, revelations ensue. this one made me scream lots. rated m!
• you know all the strings (and know just how to tug them), by artemisia_hq — 5 + 1 story about kageyama being whipped and can’t say no and hinata saying yes. domestic fluff.
• like always, by artemisia_hq — during their last walk home together, hinata becomes aware of his feelings and decides to do something about it. short story, yet so cute!
• ⭐️ i wanna know you, and i wanna love you, by momochai — kagehina go on a day together, or better yet, a date; even though they’re not quite aware of it. i was dying throughout all of this, outstanding!
• you’re grabbing my hands like they’re handbars, by mountains_6 — basically tsukishima being a third wheel when the three of them travel to rio, based on the extra bit of the manga, lol. short and endearing.
• 🎖️ a hundred or so hellos, by iwillstillopenthewindow — kageyama reincarnates over and over and hinata continues dying over and over. angst. a lot of angst. but still goddamn beautiful.
• let me in on the open secret too, by switmikan74 — kageyama doesn’t know that he’s dating hinata, until he gets hints from a shoujo manga. that’s so fitting, definitely worth the read!
• highway verse, series by emleewrites — a pixel cars au that i didn’t think it’d catch me until i read it and had dreams about this fantastic universe.
• ⭐️🎖️ if it wasn’t for you, by halfbloom (diphylleias) — in brazil, hinata learns more about relationships and what it means to have a bond with kageyama. got my heart effortlessly. such a delight.
• ⭐️ one more thing, by marks — it’s tsukishima and yamaguchi’s wedding, and kageyama and hinata decide to go together. can i please have more of this? sweet stories like this makes my heart melt, i swear.
• 🎖️⭐️ i can do better, by buu — kagehina compete over everything under the sun, and that includes kissing. and some more. in fact, every kagehina fic by this author hits. and this one… made me feel stuff. rated m!
• ⭐️ no angels could beckon me back, by lilacnoctua — heated arguments lead kagehina to heated moments with each other. a hot story with great development. loved every part of it.
• from this day forward, by emleewrites — kageyama tries to propose; it goes as badly as you can expect. so funny, seriously! i could easily recommend every fic by this author too, as well as esselle’s, but i’m gonna list my favorites anyway, so hang on!
• soft serve, by tothemoon — kagehina drives an ice cream truck to help karasuno; as one might expect, feelings are involved in between. summer fic, brings a ton of good emotions!
• 🎖️ famous v-league players make fools of themselves on twitter dot com, by crone_zone — the appearance of one hinata shouyou through the eyes of twitter users. pure comedy and it’s a whole show. gorgeous!
• room to grow, by mysecretfanmoments — things are different in their third year and hinata’s still learning how to deal with it. ah, young love! the best kind.
• raining verse, by emleewrites — kageyama’s cursed to be a kitten, hinata’s the one who finds him. i love a magic realism au, so imagine my happiness while reading this.
• future’s kiss, by mervousmer — kageyama somehow travels to the future for a moment, and hinata’s there, all grown-up. come on, time travels also have my heart! this one’s cute as hell.
• ⭐️ dethroned, by setkia — kageyama counts his victories and losses against hinata in his mind. what a gem! short and fabulously creative.
• saffron and cayenne pepper, by dontsaycrazy — neighbours kagehina: one only knows how to set the kitchen on fire and the other one’s actually a chef, what could work between them? everything, that’s the answer. a hit!
• on quarantining together…, series by winterey — social media kagehina making lives while on quarantine. fun and addictive!
• conflict of interest, by zukushou — more of social media kagehina, this time with journalists thinking they’re rivals when they’re actually… yknow *gay for each other*. just everything i’d ever want for them.
• ⭐️ with suds in your eyes (and a smile on your lips), by hqkrys — established relationship kagehina take a messy shower together. overall just endless fluff, which melts my heart!
• a bento for dr. kageyama, by zukushou — hinata leaves food for his husband and causes gossip at the hospital said husband works in. hahaha, this is definitely terrific.
• the best laid hands, by mysecretfanmoments — kageyama doesn’t even know how to deal with his own romantic life, so it’s best if other people don’t ask for advice. but what if it’s an advice for hinata? you never know :)
• ⭐️ better than firewhiskey, by mysterytwin — hogwarts au with kagehina! someone should definitely find this author by the way and give them a big hug. i want to. they rock.
• chase the light, my love, by thebeaming sun — kageyama planning to propose and earning support of his teammates. established relationship kind of thing that makes me smile.
• hinata and kageyama terrorise a simple interviewer, satorou masashi, series by call_me_j — story told in the form of an interview, including post time-skip kagehina of course. remarkable!
• optical, by kvhottie — kageyama wears glasses; everyone freaks out. do i need to explain more? hella entertaining.
• never doubt i love, by gentle_autumn_rain — jealous hinata thinks kageyama got a boyfriend. he didn’t. love these small misunderstandings that lead to a confession! so good.
• of gentlemen and scoundrels, by mysecretfanmoments — historical au with kageyama as a gentlemen in london and hinata who’s… well, not very much like him. the writing and the sexual tension in this is spectacular!
• ⭐️ save the last dance for me, my prince, by zukushou — prince kageyama and bodyguard hinata, as this fandom deserved. and such a well-developed at that. charming!
• patience, by mistonthelake — surprisingly enough, hinata discovers about kageyama’s crush on him earlier than the man himself. a lesson in being patient.
• wrestle for victory, by emleewrites — after their fateful game, kagehina decides to compete over wrestling. that’s definitely something they’d do and it got me hooked.
• ⭐️ oh we play, in autumn days, by aruariandance — kagehina being silly boys and kageyama getting a phone. is it because he wants to text hinata? that, he’ll never admit. i’d give it a hundred kudos if i could.
• ⭐️ ridiculous, by festivetrickster — yachi has to spend some time with kagehina in their apartment. the way they live just makes me suspicious of their relationship. no, like, this is indeed so ridiculous but i like it so much!
• sunstruck, by orphan account — kageyama gets the help of romero to sort out his relationship with hinata. seeing introverted kageyama slowly but surely trust his teammate and idol with issues like this makes me proud.
• ⭐️ sun above your shoulders, by longleggedgit — even in an universe where they go to different high schools, kagehina meet each other anyway. everything’s delightful here!
• the missing piece, by akaashism (acciomerlin) — kageyama deals with the changes in hinata. just adorable, i giggled a lot.
• the trouble with soulmates, by navybluewings — our sweet cupid hinata’s journey to get soulmates bonds fixed! this au rocks.
• five star review, by emleewrites — hinata’s hired to paint kageyama’s wall and they start a “friendship” out of it. amazing to see this unfold, so nicely done.
• 🎖️ for the best of all possible worlds, by tinygumdrops (curryramyeon) — an au about kagehina’s relationship journey from across countries, including letters. they meet while being apart and we see it unfold. is there anything better than this? majestic!
• at the tip of your nose, by cloesh_scribbles — where kageyama’s obsessed with eskimo kisses and hinata’s obsessed with him. please help me after this, the fluff killed me.
• the video series, by sunnyslipper — kageyama and hinata breaking the internet over and over with their videos. funny and spot on!
• alexa, play waking up in vegas, by attackofthezee (noxlunate) — kageyama and hinata get married accidentally. the thing is, i can totally imagine them doing this. they’re absurd and lovely.
• meat bun is a love language, by icecreamromantic — kageyama decides to confess using meat buns. come on, it’s stupidly perfect!
• slipping through sand, by majesticanna — an au in which kagehina meet in brazil. just so warm, waaah!
• high dose, by akaashism (acciomerlin) — hinata convinces kageyama that, because of a health issue, he needs kisses. i swear, these silly boys will break me. this is excellent.
• why do i feel like it’s (fake) love, by izucaii — hinata and kageyama pretend to be boyfriends while in brazil. a gorgeous fake-relationship story!
• ⭐️ a best man’s worse problems, by villainphilia — tsukishima, the best man for kagehina’s wedding, prepares his speech while reminiscing how the two dumbasses got together. all of this is just marvellous!
• five proposals, by dayoldcupcake — kageyama proposing, hinata saying no. done with the intent of giving me diabetes. chef’s kiss!
• ⭐️ plain as day, by emleewrites — hinata has a low self-esteem and kageyama tries to make him realize how wonderful he is. i died and came back. truly stunning.
• kageyama tobio reads thirst tweets (unedited), by popcornpearl — after making a bet, kageyama reads thirsty tweets and tries not to blush. it’s harder than he expected. rated m!
• i’m lucky to have you, zukushou — the famous “just woke up high in anestesia and i can’t remember my own partner” trope. pure comedy, love this for them.
• ⭐️ the obvious is at eye level (but i might need a step stool), by dr_awkward221 — hinata watching sakusa’s relationship with miya and slowly realizing things about his own his kageyama. i loove this one, it’s unbearably good.
• ⭐️🎖️ let the light out, by uhohshouto — kagehina make a bet in which the other one must ask for something of the loser. kageyama wants a kiss… and then something more. seriously though, i can’t believe this; it’s a wonderful story, so entertaining. rated e!
• epic, by esselle — a surfing au with hinata as an instructor and kageyama as an arrogant professional. this charming scenario surely made my day.
• let’s take this offline, by pas_dautres — office employees kagehina who meet through emails and reports. i had to add this, because it’s nice, surely worth the read.
• 🎖️ these hands of time, these hands of mine, by fireheartaw — kageyama being introspective over their story together and apart. light angst maybe, but the narrative’s so interesting and captivating.
• discordant, by majesticanna — academic rivals kagehina meet again as professors. so short but so sweet!
• 🎖️⭐️ pursuit verse, series by emleewrites — a gambler hinata and an attorney kageyama based on the ace attorney game. never played the game. but the story? deserves to be printed. if you never read it, you need to. hear me out: you need to.
• ⭐️ getting it right, by akaashism (acciormerlin) — play pretend boyfriends for miwa who end up actually having domestic moments and finding out more about their feelings, hehe.
• know you better, by mysterytwin — bakery worker kageyama and spell shop owner hinata in a world of magic! great development and very poetic.
note that this is based on the fics i’ve known since i entered the fandom and that i truly enjoy. either they’re famous or not famous, i’m just adding them here for my future self contentment and for those who, just as me, wanted a full list of kagehina fics upon getting engaged in haikyuu media.
if you think i should add more and if you have recs for me too, i’m accepting them! thank yoou.
last update: 3/3/24
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Spawn Astarion Recommendations!
So I heard you guys want Spawn Astarion Recommendations too! I heard you :) Apologies if it took awhile it got hard to compile everything I read.
I honestly have read more one shots Spawn Astarion than series tbh. but here are some series I love! These are Astarion x Tav / You / OCs following the story from the game! I'll be happy to make another list for AU's! Another Ascended list is on the way too~ :))
I DEFINITELY RECOMMEND FOLLOWING THESE WRITERS TOO as they have really great HCs and One Shots!
The Arrangement by @fangswbenefits - This is one of the first ones I've read and how she wrote Astarion is just so ASTARION! The lines, the slow burn and the smut are exquisite as hell. I do suggest reading her oneshots too! Her smuts are so good I suggest reading it ALONE. XD ONGOING!
The Fangs Between Us by @feyascorner - Not your typical Lovey-dovey Astarion and Tav. Astarion actually felt betrayed and actually tried killing you! Can love still blossom? is it still there? Would you guys even be friends?! So much angst and but oh so goooood! ONGOING!
Shadows of the Past by @pastshadowsff-blog / PallidMoon - What's an Astarion story w/o the angst? I would definitely be devastated the moment Astarion left me! The process of healing and loving, the confrontations here are soooo on point! Have a good gale on the side too~ ONGOING!
Love at First Knife by @bg-brainrot - DEFINITELY A FAVORITE! Aside from the romance from Astarion and TAV you get the WHOLE GANG TOO! I'm a sucker on everything on this series! I can't count how many times I've re-read this while I wait for my other fics to update. ONGOING? I'm not sure but it gets updated!
When He’s all but Forgotten How to Love Again by @bg-brainrot - okay another one from the same author, at this point just read everything!! okay, but what if TAV died and got reincarnated?! If you got an elf TAV this is definitely one for the books! I LOOOOVE this one a lot. Getting your memories back and seeking your lover out, would it be the same? Would he even remember you?! Surely he will right?! but what if he don't? hmmmm READ IT! ONGOING!
Astarion Talks In His Sleep by @littlejuicebox - This is a short series but this was just memorable coz WE'LL LOVE EVERYTHING in it. It's one of the happy endings you'd totally wish for and how this story got me gasping and giddy was just chef's kiss! You'll love her DADSTARION series too! I LOVE THIS FAMILY A LOT. :))
Cursed To Put My Hands On Everything by @maladaptive-menace - I recently found this and I got hook immediately on the concept! I also love the titles on this series, as the title says~ :)) So imagine you're doing your mundane things IRL and one tiring night you found yourself Isekaid IN the GAME?! You know you're effed up, how would you survive?! well at least you got your dream come true of meeting the gang in the flesh…specially the Pale Elf~ ONGOING!
Winter Holiday Challenge Fills by @justporo - So this is an all fluff from the Winter Holidays! I know it's not christmas anymore but if you missed it during that time who cares?! READ IT! Get all the fluffiness you need from this series! Check that full masterlist on their profile too while you're at it~ :)) FINISHED!
The Currents of Destiny by @lendeah - You and Astarion fights after he didn't go with the Ascension, left and scorn you to die screaming! But what if he sees all the what if that could happen?! Would his decision stay the same? FINISHED!
An Adventure in Making a Life by @redlittlefoxari - okay something different but maybe a PREGNANCY fic anyone? :D This was one of the fastest story I binged! You both just learned you're pregnant but an invitation from a friend comes forth! Maybe keep it a surprise for the gang? How would this pregnancy on the road takes you? ALSOOOO FREAKING LOVIING HUSBAND ASTARION UGGHH i can't~
I have more authors to recommend but we'll keep this list for now! I urge you to follow these authors too and check their other works.
Let me know if you guys are up for more recommendations! I have more to share! <3 Hope you enjoy reading them as I did! More reading buddies!
#astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#astarion fic#bg3#astarion ancunin#spawn astarion#astarion x you#astarion baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate 3#astarion x oc#astarion x durge#baldur's gate 3
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danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)
ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw
Nan Chan
an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪
I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!
How to Survive as a Villain
transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!
this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀
Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part
living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE
till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending
THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!
After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General
a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel
I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting
Married Thrice to Salted Fish
a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭
if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll
Xiao Jiu
about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama
this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅
Guanshan Muyu
wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!
man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂
I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇
"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"
It’s Not Easy Being a Master
transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀
this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout
Golden Stage/ Terrace
arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭
great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house
Sharing Rain and Dew
MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting
this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read
list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!
#danmei#reading recommendations#danmei recs#i didn't proofread this so if you see errors LOOK AWAYY#nan chan#how to survive as a villain#golden stage#golden terrace#living to suffer#til death do us part#guanshan muyu#after being forced to marry the evil star general#married thrice to salted fish#xiao jiu#its not easy being a master#sharing rain and dew
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Can you please do one where Oscar and Y/N get a cat together? Ty x
The Orange Tabby
Warnings: fluff with a little angst
Pairing: Oscar Piastri x fem!reader
Summary: you try to convince Oscar to get a cat and he caves.
a/n i honestly blacked out while writing this so let’s hope you enjoy!
“Babe please, just look at how cute they are!” you pleaded with the biggest puppy eyes you could muster, showing him all the cats that were up for adoption at your local shelter. “y/n, love you know how much traveling we do there is just no logical way we could have a pet right now, I’m sorry” he says pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, searching your face for a reaction, you just sigh and fall into his chest and mumble out “fine, I guess one of us has to be realistic”
Over the next few weeks you keep trying to bring up adopting a cat practically anytime you could. When he was working out, making meals, practicing on the sim, even some times when he was in meetings you would find ways to mention the beautiful orange tabby cat that they recently had received. In the kitchen Oscar was making dinner for the both of you, when suddenly you mentioned the orange cat again. “Enough y/n! I understand you might want a cat, but have you thought that maybe I don’t want one!?” Oscar yelled out of frustration, you stood there almost paralyzed, sure you’ve had your fair share of disagreements but he never raised his voice towards you. “Yeah, I guess I never thought about that, sorry Oscar.” you said and retired to the bedroom for the rest of the night. A sigh left Oscar, feeling regretful of yelling at you, he knew better than to come in the shared bedroom when you were both on edge.
In truth Oscar was trying to research how you guys could bring the cat along with you for the races, well along with getting the adoption papers in order, apparently he was a very popular cat having around 15 other people wanting to adopt him.
Oscar kept tip-toeing around the whole cat disagreement for the next week and just blissfully listened to explain why you were so hell bent on getting one. “Well my grandmother had an orange tabby cat when I was younger and he was my favorite thing” you said feeling emotional. He nodded along and held your hand while you explained, he decided enough was enough and he wanted to tell you the good news. “Love, I need to tell you something” he said practically bursting at the seams, you look at him to proceed with what he needed to say “I actually put in adoption papers for the orange tabby as soon as you showed him to me” he blurted out in a rush. “You’re kidding, Oscar Jack Piastri. You better not be messing with me” you said pointing a stern finger at him. “I’m being 100% serious my love, we pick him up next week”
Next week rolls around with lightning speed, you two have been out almost all day making sure you have everything you need for your cat. Except there was one problem, you couldn’t decide on a name. “Ooh how about Oliver, hmm maybe Thomas” you said very enthusiastically. Oscar just laughed “Seriously Thomas? What is he an old man? A tank engine train?” you huffed back racking your brain for a name you could both agree on when all of a sudden Oscar had a light bulb moment. “Wait what if we named him Papaya?” You thought about it for a moment and came to agreement on the name.
It has been the best 4 months with Papaya by your side quite literally, it was like your grandmother’s cat was reincarnated into him, he never left your side making Oscar a little jealous that the cat was getting more attention than him. “But loveee, he gets cuddles all day! What about me?” Oscar said pouting, you just chuckled and opened your arms for your clingy boyfriend. “Have I told you that you’re the best boyfriend?” you said while running your fingers through his hair while he laid on top of you. He mumbled out “Yes, at least twice a day since we got papaya” Looking up towards you, pure love behind his eyes.
#formula 1#formula one#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff
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𐔌 ENHYPEN FIC RECOMMENDATIONS !
A/N : hii and welcome to my first post !! This will be a small list of my personal favorite fanfics that i’ve read and that i highly recommend :3 i’ll also progressively add more fics once im done reading them, hope you enjoy <3 ( if there’s any mistake please lmk !! )
( read more below the cut ! )
HEESEUNG :
Trapped. by @gyuuberryy
genre : reincarnation au, supernatural themes, horror, suggestive content.
JAY :
No limits, ( part2 ). by @yeonzzzn
genre : strangers to lovers, smut.
Venom ! by @gyuuberryy
genre : one sided rivalry, office coworkers, superhero.
Taste like danger. by @jungqkook
genre : angst, smut.
JAKE :
Sims anatomy. by @021894s
genre : workplace romance, situationship, smut.
Bandaids. by @dazzlingjaeyun
genre : exes to ??, angst, fluff.
SUNGHOON :
the lighthouse. by @jjunieworld
genre : fantasy, strangers to lovers, angst, fluff, smut.
SUNOO :
( nothing yet )
JUNGWON :
Love 119, ( part2 ), ( part3 ). by @dksfml
genre : workplace romance, secret dating, fluff.
Ephemeral (second chance) by @hwanchaesong
genre : fluff, angst, suggestive content.
NI-KI :
I let the world burn for you, ( part2 ). by @elikajinnie
genre : dark romance, angst, horror.
Steal your way to my heart, ( part2 ), ( part3 ), ( part4 ). by @elikajinnie
genre : thriller, romantic crime.
The same heart. by @babeyun
genre : established relationship au, slight angst, fluff.
#enhypen#enhypen fic#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fic recs#enhypen heeseung#heeseung#heeseung x reader#enhypen jay#jay fic#park jongseong#jongseong x reader#enhypen jake#sim jaeyun#jake x reader#jaeyun x reader#jaeyun fanfic#enhypen sunghoon#park sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon fanfic#enhypen sunoo#kim sunoo#sunoo x reader#enhypen jungwon#yang jungwon#jungwon x reader#jungwon fanfic#enhypen niki#nishimura riki#niki fic
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oh my ***
Pairing: ateez (ot8) x reader
Summary: Everyone supposedly has a guardian angel, one that’s tasked to always keep their human out of trouble and on the right path of life. But you don’t just have one, you have...eight?!
w.c. 10.2k
Warnings: fluff, angst, near death experiences, threatening someone wooyoung with a bat, cursing, comfort, reincarnation, i think that’s it?
You wouldn’t necessarily consider yourself a lucky person.
You also wouldn’t really consider yourself an unlucky person either.
You just kind of exist, with the occasional good and not-so-good things happening to you.
Like when you somehow managed to score you and your friends front row seats to see your favorite group in concert. Or the time that you somehow managed to break your ankle and your phone all in the same day.
So, yeah, you wouldn’t say you’re the luckiest person in the world, but you’re also not the unluckiest person, so you’re pretty fine with continuing your life as is.
Today, however, has been going oddly perfect.
You woke up for the first time in forever feeling incredibly well-rested, which has not happened since before you hit puberty. The weather was perfect, maybe a little too perfect, but you didn’t care. You could finally open your windows completely to let in the cool breeze from outside, listening as the birds sang outside of your apartment.
Checking your phone, you also noticed that your paycheck came in a whole day early. Opening your bank account, you stared wide-eyed at the number that was deposited. It was certainly a much larger amount than your last paycheck.
Feeling absolutely ecstatic over how well the morning was going, you decided to make a trip to your favorite coffee shop and treat yourself to some breakfast.
Connecting your phone to your speaker, you selected your favorite playlist and allowed the music to flow through the apartment. Picking out some cute clothes, you began to get ready. As you finished washing your face, you also noticed that your skin seemed to be really nice today, with hardly any redness seeping through and the dark circles under you eyes had seemed to disappear over night.
Smiling brightly at yourself in the mirror, you finished applying your skincare before moving to get dressed and apply some light makeup. Once you finished, you couldn’t help but check yourself out in the mirror.
I look so cute today.
Giving yourself a wink, you let out a small laugh at your own antics before grabbing your purse from where it hung on the wall and stepping outside. Making sure the door was locked, you began the short walk to your favorite cafe.
You couldn’t help but admire how nice the sun felt on your skin. For the past few weeks, the weather had been anything but nice, and it almost felt like the weather had been reflecting your mood. With the project you had been assigned at work, you had been feeling so overwhelmed and stressed out that you often contemplated just quitting in order to get rid of the stress.
But thankfully, the project was finally done, you had received great feedback from your boss, and it finally seemed as though your little slump was beginning to improve.
Making your way inside the cafe, you walked up to the counter and ordered your usual drink as well as a small pastry.
A little treat for myself.
Sitting down at a table that had the best view of the street, you made yourself comfortable with your drink as you waited for your pastry. Though, you were pleasantly surprised when the man who took your order came out with two pastries instead of one.
“Um, I think you might’ve given me the wrong pastry,” you frowned slightly. “I only ordered this one,” you pointed at the pastry that you know for sure you had ordered.
“Oh!” the man smiled brightly. “No, don’t worry, it’s on the house!”
Before you could even respond, the man gently placed both pastries on your table, sending you a small wink and making his way back behind the counter.
You could feel your cheeks warm slightly at the man’s actions.
Damn, today really is a great day you thought, bringing the pastry up to your mouth and taking a bite out of it.
Holy shit this is so good too you hummed appreciatively.
After thoroughly enjoying your breakfast, you bid goodbye to the barista before making your way out of the store.
Hmmmm, what should I do now?
Glancing around, you remembered that one of your favorite bookstores was about a block away, and quickly made up your mind to go there.
Walking to the nearest stoplight, you pushed the button on the pole and waited patiently for the light to turn green. Fishing out your phone from your bag, you scrolled aimlessly through social media and responding to some texts your friends had sent. Glancing up, you noticed the light was now green.
Placing your phone in your pocket, you began to cross the street.
You were almost at the other side of the crosswalk when a loud screeching noise caused you to whip your head to the side. There was a car moving down the street in your direction incredibly fast, and you watched as people on the sidewalks jumped out of the way as the car swerved from side to side and hit things on the street.
Your heart raced you watched the car come barreling towards you. It felt like your feet were stuck to the ground and you couldn’t find it in yourself to move.
Right as the car came feet away from hitting you, you shut your eyes, bracing for the impact of the car hitting your body.
You barely registered the feeling of someone grabbing your hand and yanking you forward.
Landing roughly on your hands and knees on the sidewalk, you stared at the cement in front of you as the sound of the car slowly disappeared in the distance. There were people running up to you from both sides of the street, some yelling while others gently crouched next to you and asked if you were okay.
The strangers helped turn you around and you sat on the sidewalk unable to calm your racing heart.
“Th-thank you,” you breathed out, looking at the woman who was closest to you.
Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked at you concerned.
“For what?”
You swallowed.
“For grabbing me and pulling me forward. I couldn’t move and I though for sure the car was going to hit me,” you explained.
It was your turn to look confused when she opened her mouth.
“Honey, there was no one around you. I certainly wasn’t going to reach you on time and neither was anyone else.”
-
After the lady explained to you that the other pedestrians on the street had just barely reached you after you were already on the sidewalk, you couldn’t shake the feeling of someone’s eyes on you.
The strangers who had come up to check on you were incredibly nice, and after convincing them to not call an ambulance and that you could stand on your own, the crowd slowly dispersed.
The woman who had helped you insisted on calling a cab for you, even though you reassured her that you didn’t live far and you could make it home safely. She was adamant, saying that she wouldn’t let you walk home alone after what just happened and said it would weigh heavy on her conscious if she did.
Eventually, you relented, and waited with her patiently as she called a taxi.
When the cab eventually pulled up, she gave you a hug and said that she was happy you were okay and to get home safely.
Waving goodbye through the window, you watched as her figure slowly grew smaller.
Leaning back against the leather seats, you finally allowed yourself to process what had just happened.
Your day had been going so well and that car had quite literally come out of nowhere. Even though the lady who helped you said there was no one near you, you were 100% positive you had felt someone grab your hands and pull you forward onto the sidewalk.
Your mind wandered to your parents and the stories they had told you when you were younger of guardian angels.
“Guardian angels? What’s that?” seven-year-old you has asked your mom.
She smiled, softly running her hand through your hair from where she sat on the edge of your bed.
“They’re people who are assigned to watch over you and always protect you. They help you when you’re in trouble and make sure you always make good decisions.”
Younger you wrinkled her nose.
“They’re always watching me? That sounds creepy.”
Your mom laughed, tossing her head back.
After what you had experienced today, maybe the stories your mom used to tell you weren’t that crazy.
As the cab you were in slowly came to a stop in front of your building, you thanked the driver and rummaged through your bag looking for some cash to tip him.
He waved his hand at you, telling you the lady who had flagged him down already paid and there was no need to tip.
“I’m just glad I could get you home safely.”
“Oh,” you blinked, kind of surprised he was saying no to being tipped. “Well, thank you, sir.” You said honestly. “I hope you have a great rest of your day,” you said, stepping out of the car.
The driver bid you farewell and drove away from your building as soon as you walked through the front gates.
Sighing heavily, you made your way to the elevator in the building and walked into the old machine, watching as the doors closed and the numbers for the floors slowly climbed up.
Honestly, you couldn’t wait to into your bed and knock out. Way too much has happened today that was out of your comfort zone, to say the least.
Eventually, you reached your front door and reached into your bag to fish out your keys.
Searching inside your bag with your hand, your eyebrows furrowed when you didn’t feel the familiar metal of your keys.
I know I brought them with me, so where are they?
Taking your bag off your shoulder, you opened it up and began pulling out everything you had in there. You could feel the pit in your stomach get heavier with every item that was removed and no keys were found.
You eventually emptied out your entire bag and still, you were unable to find your keys. Leaning your back against your door, you slowly allowed yourself to sink to the ground.
They must’ve fallen out when I fell, you though bitterly. You could feel the familiar sting of tears in your eyes and you felt a lump in your throat.
This was the last thing you needed today.
You’re unsure how long you sat outside your apartment door, wallowing in your own misery.
The sound of footsteps brought you of your thoughts.
Glancing up, you noticed a tall man with short pink hair come to a stop in front of you.
“Is everything okay miss?”
Holy shit he has a deep voice
You sighed loudly.
“Not really,” you admit. “I lost my keys at some point when I was out today and my friend who has my spare is out of town for the week.”
You’re not really sure what compelled you to tell all this to the strange man who you’ve never even seen in your apartment, but something about him gives off a very peaceful aura.
You feel like you could tell him anything.
The man furrows his eyebrows and a soft pout forms on his face.
“Aw, I’m really sorry,” he sympathized.
You shrugged, there wasn’t really anything he could do to help.
He glanced around nervously. Why? You’re not quite sure.
“I’m, uh, actually one of the maintenance people and we’re here doing some routine check-ups,” he started.
Check-ups? The building manager didn’t notify me of anything going on this week.
“If you want,” the man continues. “I can go back down to the leasing office and grab the master key to unlock your door for you?”
You hesitate.
On one hand, this man is literally offering to go out of his way to help you out and unlock your door for you.
On the other hand, you have absolutely no way of proving he’s actually who he says he is. He could be a serial killer for all you know and you’ve basically just given him access to unlock your apartment and kill you in your sleep.
Giving him a once over, you notice the bluish jumpsuit he’s wearing and the work boots he has on. Quite frankly, he does look like he’s been doing some manual labor, so maybe he’s telling the truth.
“Okay,” you finally reply, albeit hesitantly.
Honestly, if he does turn out to be a serial killer and comes back to murder you in your sleep, you’ll make sure to haunt him for the rest of his life.
“Great!” he smiles widely, his eyes turning into the cutest crescent moons you’ve ever seen.
At least he’ll be a cute serial killer, you think.
“Oh!” he says, as though he just remembered something. “Also, my name’s Mingi! It’s really nice to meet you!” the man, Mingi, reaches his hand out.
Pushing yourself off the floor, you quickly dust yourself off before reaching out as well to shake his hand.
“I’m (Y/n),” you introduce yourself.
Mingi hums.
“That’s a really pretty name.”
You can feel your cheeks get warm.
“O-oh, thank you.”
It’s quiet for a few moments before Mingi speaks again.
“Okay, well I’m gonna go downstairs to get the masterkey really quick. Don’t get into any trouble while I’m gone!” he jokes, beginning to walk back down the hallway.
“I’ll try,” you laugh nervously, thinking about the day you’ve had.
If anything else goes wrong today, you don’t think you’ll have the willpower to keep living.
You’re only waiting for a few minutes before you can spot Mingi coming back down the hall.
Damn he’s quick.
“Got it!” Mingi says cheerfully, waving a small key in the air.
You smile back, feeling relieved that you can finally get inside your apartment.
He stops in front of your door, pushing the key inside the lock and wriggling it around a few times before you can hear the familiar click of the lock. Letting out a small “aha”, Mingi twists the doorknob and sure enough, the door to your apartment opens.
You might actually cry tears of happiness.
“Ma’am,” Mingi says in a fake posh accent, gesturing with his hand for you to go inside.
You let out a small laugh and walk inside. Mingi remains outside of your door.
“Well, thank you so much Mingi,” you say earnestly. “I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t showed up at the right time. My knight in shining armor,” you joke.
Mingi blushes furiously, bringing up a hand to rub the back of his head and looking off to the side.
“It’s nothing,” he says. “I’m just glad everything worked out.”
You nod, unsure of what to say next.
Mingi’s head suddenly snaps to the side, looking at something down the hallway, almost as if he heard something. You frown. You didn’t hear anything.
“Well, it looks like I have to get going,” he begins.
You nod.
“Better get back before the big boss gets mad at you for slacking off, huh?”
You say it as a joke, but Mingi only lets out a nervous laugh.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“Um,” you’re not quite sure what to say. “Okay, well thanks again Mingi, I really do appreciate it.” You slowly begin to shut the door.
“Anytime,” he sends you a small wave and bright smile, turning to walk down the hallway as you finally shut the door.
You don’t spend too much time thinking about Mingi’s strange behavior at the end, chalking it up to him having a really strict boss. Plus, you honestly can’t wait to change into your pajamas and knock out.
Dropping your purse on your couch, you make your way to your room and quickly change into your pj’s before flinging yourself onto your bed.
You hug the stuffed bear on your bed closely, feeling the tension and stress from your body slowly begin to fade away as your body succumbs to sleep.
-
You’re not sure what time it is when you wake up.
The lack of light coming in from outside lets you know that it’s dark, leaving you to assume it’s either really late or really early.
You roll back over, fully intending on returning to dreamland when the sound of hushed arguing catches your attention.
You groan, assuming it’s your neighbors who are always going at it. Seriously, if they argue this much, they should just break up. Arguing that much can’t be healthy for anyone.
You’ve just grabbed onto your pillow, intending on using it to block out the voices, when you suddenly realize that it’s only male voices you can hear. Sitting up, you strain your ears to try and catch more of what they’re saying.
You feel yourself freeze when you realize that the voices are coming from your living room.
You sit frozen on your bed for a few minutes, unsure of what to do.
Did these people break into your apartment? What are they doing here? What are they going to do to you?
Reaching out blindly, you attempt to locate your phone, hoping you can at least call the police before the robbers can reach you. Pressing the power button, your heart drops when it doesn’t turn on. In your excitement to knock out, you never put it to charge and now it’s dead.
Taking a deep breath, you try to think of a course of action.
Slowly getting out of bed, you reach under the bed to grab the metal bat that you keep in case of emergencies. Maybe, if the robbers don’t have any weapons, you can either scare them off or hurt them enough to grab the home phone sitting on your kitchen counter and call the police.
You cautiously make your way to the door of your bedroom, letting out a shaky breath before slowly twisting the doorknob. You gently push the door open, thanking whatever gods are out there that it doesn’t make any noise.
Now that the door is open, you can hear the voices more clearly.
“Why would you show yourself to her?”
“What did you want me to do? She was having the worst day, I wasn’t gonna sit back and watch her suffer.” The voice sounds oddly familiar.
Someone else hums.
“Don’t even say anything,” the original voice whispers angrily. “You should have never interfered earlier.”
“She was about to get hit by a car, hyung! What did you want me to do, let it happen? Then we would be back to square one all over again.”
It’s a different voice this time, slightly higher in pitch.
They’re talking about what happened to you earlier.
Who the fuck are these people?
You arrive at the corner of the hallway, gripping your bat impossibly tight and peeking around the corner.
From what you can see, there’s a few men standing in your living room. One with dark blue hair sits on your couch facing the kitchen, another stands with his back to the hallway where you stand, and there seems to be someone standing in front of him.
You can’t help but let out a small gasp when you realize the man standing with his back facing you has short pink hair.
Mingi.
All three men whip their heads around.
They stare at you wide-eyed, including Mingi.
You come out from behind the corner and point your bat at the men.
“Who the fuck are you?” you demand. “And why the fuck are you in my apartment?”
Your eyes dart around, trying to keep an eye on every person in the room. Your heart pounds in your chest and your hands are sweaty, but you’ll be damned if you go out without a fight.
Mingi takes a step forward, his hands raised slightly.
“(Y/n),” he starts.
He stops when you take a step backward.
“Mingi, if that’s even your goddam name,” you spit. You miss the way all three men flinch slightly. “What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?”
“Was helping me earlier just a plot to figure out where I live? Are you gonna kill me?” you question.
A crestfallen look falls on Mingi’s face. A small part of you almost wants to feel bad. Almost.
“No, not at all,” he defends. “Look, it’s kind of complicated, but I can explain. I just need you to put the bat down.” His eyes dart to the metal bat you have a death grip on.
You let out a harsh laugh.
“No fucking way. I don’t care who the hell you are, I need you and your friends to get out right now before I call the cops.” You demand.
“The cops aren’t going to help you sweetheart,” a voice comes from behind you.
You let out a scream, turning around and blindly swinging your bat. It hits something hard.
“OW!”
A man with long hair that’s black and silver hunches over in front of you, clutching his stomach. You stare wide-eyed.
There’s more of them.
And where the fuck are they coming from?
“(Y/n),” someone else says your name. You whip back around, moving backward towards the wall and making sure the men don’t leave your sight. You keep the bat pointed at them.
The man with dark blue hair siting on the couch is standing now, and he looks at you with wide eyes as well.
“Please, just put the bat down and we can explain everything to you.”
You shake your head vehemently.
“You guys broke into my fucking apartment and you want me to calm down?” You laugh incredulously. “Are you guys fucking insane?”
You miss the way the shorter male standing next to Mingi has disappeared.
Mingi frowns, looking genuinely saddened.
“I’m really sorry we have to do this.”
You furrow your eyebrows, now genuinely concerned he’s going to murder you.
“What are you-”
You don’t get to finish your sentence when you feel fingers touch your temple and you black out.
-
“What did you do?”
“What we had to! She already managed to hit Wooyoung and she was obviously freaking out so we had to calm her down!”
Someone snickers.
“Shut up Yeosang.”
“C’mon, you’re telling me it’s a bat that took you out?”
“She has a good swing! You should try getting a metal bat swung directly at your stomach and see how you feel.”
You let out a soft groan at the voices that surround you. They’re too loud.
You’re laying on something soft and it feels familiar as well.
Am I dead?
“You’re not dead.”
Your eyes shoot open.
Sitting up, you groan at the light that shines harshly into your room and shut your eyes. Opening them softly, you glance around. You’re definitely in your room, which is a relief.
But the eight bodies that surround you bring anything but relief.
You tense up, your hands gripping at the sheets.
You can feel tears beginning to blur your vision and you can hear your heartbeat in your ears.
“Please don’t hurt me,” you whimper.
Someone lets out a sad noise.
“We’re not going to hurt you,” a deep voice comes from your right side.
You look over to see who said that. Familiar brown eyes stare deeply into your own, and the soft pink hair instantly allows you to recognize who just spoke.
“How can I trust you Mingi?”
A heartbroken expression falls over his face and he looks unsure of what to say.
“He’s right sweetheart,” another voice speaks up. “We’re not going to hurt you.” This time it’s another tall man who speaks. He has peach colored hair. His eyes bore into yours, and you feel slightly unnerved at the raw honesty that comes across.
You don’t say anything, opting to take a glance at all the men who are spread across your room.
A shorter man who stands closest to your bed sighs and takes a step forward.
“This isn’t how we wanted to meet, so please accept our deepest apologies for scaring you,” the man begins.
“We’re your guardian angels.”
-
The man, Hongjoong, had explained to you that they were in fact your guardian angels.
Typically, humans only had one guardian angel, he had explained, but you were assigned eight.
Guardian angels were also never, under any circumstances, to reveal themselves to their humans, but some people, Hongjoong glared at the man sitting at your desk with dark blue hair as well as Mingi, had broken these rules.
Which is why you were currently able to see all of them.
“How do I even know you’re telling me the truth?” You questioned. This entire situation was absolutely insane and you could barely wrap your head around any of the information that was just given to you.
“Well, we’ve been watching over you your whole life,” the blue haired male spoke up. “Ask us anything that no one else knows and we can answer it.”
You stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about different things throughout your life that no one knew about you.
“When I was in middle school and I asked out that boy a year ahead of me, what did he say?”
There’s no way they could know the answer to this. This is literally something I’ve never told anyone and I intend on taking it with me to my grave.
“He said no because you reminded him of his mom and that grossed him out.”
You stare wide-eyed at the man with medium length blonde hair that sat in the middle of your floor.
What the fuck?
“Don’t worry, you honestly dodged a bullet with that one,” another male with cherry red hair shook his head. “You know that guy ended up marrying his first cousin?” The man snorted.
You had no words.
You had never told anyone that secret because it embarrassed you so much, but clearly, the men in front of you knew it.
Maybe they’re telling the truth.
“Of course we’re telling the truth, we’re angels.”
The man with two-toned hair speaks up.
You narrow your eyes at him.
“Did you just read my thoughts?”
He shrugs.
“They’re very loud.”
You stare at him.
“Do you want me to hit you with my bat again?”
The man shudders.
“Please, don’t.”
Another voice speaks up.
“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” the man with peach hair pipes in.
You shrug.
“I don’t really have any reason to doubt you, I guess.” You hesitate before saying your next words. “Plus, I don’t know what it is, but you guys have this vibe,” you gesture your hand vaguely.
“It feels...safe?” You shrug, looking down at the spare thread you’ve been messing with since you woke up. “I felt it when I met Mingi earlier, but I didn’t know what to think about it.”
You miss the way Mingi’s ears turn red.
An awkward silence falls across the room.
“Well,” another man, the one who stands next to Hongjoong, begins to speak. “Now that that’s done, we should introduce ourselves. I’m Seonghwa,” he sends you a beautiful smile.
“I’m Hongjoong, as you already know,” Hongjoong says and you nod.
“My name’s Yunho,” the man with peach hair speaks up.
“I’m San,” the man with dark blue hair pipes up, sending you a bright, dimpled smile. You can’t help but send him a small smile back.
“I’m Yeosang,” the blonde one on your floor gives you a small nod of acknowledgement.
“I’m Wooyoung!” Two-toned hair chirps loudly. You can’t help but side-eye him slightly. “What?” he cries.
“Please don’t sneak up on me if you don’t want me to hit you again,” you warn.
A few snickers sound throughout the room.
“I’m Jongho,” the one with cherry hair tells you.
Your eyes land on the last man who sits closest to you.
“I’m Mingi,” he says. “But, you already know that.”
You nod. He still seems a little bit sad.
You hesitate, but reach out to softly grab his hand that rests on your bed.
“Thank you for your help earlier,” you start. “And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you at first.”
You glance around the room.
“But, you guys have to understand that this whole situation is kind of crazy.”
Seonghwa nods.
“We understand, and we’re sorry for scaring you so much.” He nods his head toward Mingi and San. “But those two broke one of the most important rules that guardian angels must follow.”
You nod, understanding what Seonghwa’s saying.
“Wait,” your eyebrows furrow. “I know Mingi broke the rule when he helped me get back inside my apartment, but what did San do?”
You look at him as he crosses his arms and pouts, reminding you of a scolded child.
“He’s the one that pulled you out of the street yesterday before the car could hit you,” Wooyoung explains.
Your eyes widen and you sit up even further.
“So I was right!” you exclaim.
Mingi raises a brow.
“I knew I felt someone grab my hands and pull me forward, but the lady who helped me said there was no one there!” You pout slightly. “I thought I was going crazy for a second.”
You look over at San.
“Thank you for saving my life,” you tell him sincerely.
San throws his hands up in the air.
“See? At least she’s grateful for what I did!”
Yeosang rolls his eyes.
“Of course she is, you idiot, she would’ve been dead if you hadn’t.”
This time, you don’t miss the way they all seem to wince at Yeosang’s words.
You frown.
“Yeah, actually,” you begin. “If you guys are my guardian angels, how come I almost died yesterday?” You look at them expectantly. “Isn’t the whole point of you guys being here to like, keep me alive?”
They avoid your eyes.
“We were a little...preoccupied,” Hongjoong admits.
You click your tongue.
“Well, at least San was there for me.”
You send a grateful smile to him, which he returns with slightly red cheeks.
“Hey!” Mingi whines. “I helped you too!”
You roll your eyes.
“Yes you did, you big baby, but San literally saved my life,” you emphasize.
“And I didn’t?” Mingi asks, offended. “What if I never showed up? You would’ve had to sleep on the streets and who knows what would’ve happened then?”
“Oh my god,” you groan, throwing yourself back on your bed.
“I didn’t know angels were this dramatic!”
Jongho lets out a laugh.
“The most,” he admits.
The sound of your stomach rumbling has a warm flush spreading across your cheeks.
“You haven’t eaten?” Yunho furrows his eyebrows.
“Mmmm, not since breakfast yesterday, I think,” you admit.
Wooyoung jumps out of his chair.
“Don’t worry sweetheart, I’ll make you the best meal you’ve ever had,” he sends you a small wink before heading out of your room towards the kitchen.
“He’s not going to burn my apartment down right?” You ask worriedly.
Hongjoong shakes his head.
“No, Wooyoung’s actually a really good cook,” he reassures you.
“Plus,” San says. “You have seven angels here to protect you if anything!”
You’re not sure if that makes you feel any better.
-
As it turns out, Hongjoong was right, and Wooyoung is an excellent cook. In a span of 20 minutes, he’s managed to make you an omelet that looks like it came straight out of a Studio Ghibli movie, along with some oatmeal, fresh fruit, and what looks like freshly squeezed orange juice.
“Wow,” you gape at the food.
Wooyoung motions for you to sit at the table.
“It was meant for you to eat, not just stare at.”
You happily oblige, sitting down at the table and bringing up the fork to your mouth, only to pause when you realize no one else has food.
“We don’t have to eat,” Seonghwa explains, reading your mind. “We can if we want to, but it’s not necessary for us to survive.”
You nod, feeling a little less guilty about eating in front of them.
Letting out a satisfied hum at the taste of the food, you send Wooyoung a thumbs-up. He smiles brightly.
“So,” you start, swallowing your food and taking a quick sip of your juice. “Now that I’ve met you guys and I know you exist, are you going to go back to being invisible to me?”
Hongjoong and Seonghwa share a look.
“Not exactly,” Hongjoong says.
You raise an eyebrow, motioning for him to continue.
“Now that you know we exist, we can’t exactly just disappear,” he elaborates. “It’s one of the reasons guardian angels aren’t meant to reveal themselves to their humans.”
You nod slowly.
“So, humans just never find out they have a guardian angel? Like, ever?”
Jongho mutters something under his breath. Yunho kicks his leg under the table.
“Sorry, what was that?” You ask, looking at him.
He avoids your gaze.
A tense silence falls over the table.
You notice how Mingi shakes his leg anxiously. San taps his fingers on the table and Yunho avoids your gaze.
You narrow your eyes at them.
“There’s something you guys aren’t telling me.” It’s not a question.
“I don’t think now is the best time to talk about this-” Hongjoong starts.
“Humans only find out about their guardian angels when their time is near,” Wooyoung says calmly.
Hongjoong glares at him. Wooyoung only shrugs.
“What? She was bound to find out eventually.”
“Their time?” You look around at the men that sit at your table. “Like, when they’re about to die?”
Yeosang nods.
You let out a small “oh”, looking down at the unfinished food that stares at you.
It’s silent as you think about the information they’ve just given you.
“The car,” you swallow. “The car that almost hit me yesterday. Was it,” you almost can’t get the words out. “Was it supposed to hit me?”
Your question comes out in a whisper.
No one responds, but when you look up, they all fix you with a sad look.
You nod.
“Okay.”
You push your plate away from you.
You don’t have an appetite anymore.
“I’m sorry,” Mingi whispers from your left side.
His large hand gently encompasses yours. You nod, refusing to look him in the eyes.
“But we’re not going to let you die.”
You look up at San’s determined voice, barely able to see him through your misty eyes.
“What?”
“We’re not letting you die,” he says firmly. “It’s not your time.”
You shake your head.
“I’m pretty sure if the universe decides it’s my time, then it’s my time,” you reply. You’re not sure if you’re saying it to convince them, or yourself.
“I can’t just avoid fate.”
Hongjoong sighs.
“San’s right.”
You send him a questioning look.
“We’re your guardian angels. We’re not going to let you die.”
“Screw what the universe says,” Yeosang chimes in.
You stare at them incredulously.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Look,” Yunho starts. “We’ve been thinking about it, and we’re pretty sure the universe is wrong about it being your time. We’ve been around for centuries, usually we have a good sense of when it’s going to be someone’s time and when it’s not.”
“And we don’t get that feeling with you,” Jongho continues for him. “We never have.”
“So, we’re going to do our best to make sure you stay out of harms way,” Yeosang finishes.
Your throat feels constricted and you can barely see through all the tears that have welled up in your eyes.
“You guys would do all that for me?” You choke out.
Mingi squeezes your hand.
“Of course. We’re not your guardian angels for nothing.”
You sniffle, looking down at your lap and bringing up your other hand to wipe at your eyes.
“Thank you guys,” you tell them sincerely.
“Anything for you,” Seonghwa smiles softly.
-
After the conversation at breakfast, the nine of you come up with a vague plan Wooyoung affectionally dubbed “Keeping Our Human Alive”. Despite the look you had given him, you had to admit, it made you laugh.
You all agreed it would be best for at least one of them to accompany you every day, more if any of them felt like tagging along.
“That way,” Hongjoong explained, “if anything unexpected happens, at least one of us will be able to protect you.”
You agreed.
“What about when I go to work and stuff?” You had questioned. “Won’t it be weird if there’s a different guy following me around every day?”
Yunho shook his head.
“Just because you can see us doesn’t mean everyone else can see us too. We can make ourselves visible to other people besides our assigned human if we want,” he explained.
“Oh, okay. Well, that certainly makes this easier then.”
“What would you prefer for us to do?” Questioned San. “Do you want us to remain invisible all the time or only at work?”
You think it over for a minute before shrugging.
“Honestly, whatever’s most comfortable for all of you. I would prefer if at work you guys are invisible, but while we’re in public and stuff, whatever you guys feel comfortable with is fine by me.”
At your answer, they all give you fond looks which makes your face feel slightly warm. Clearing your throat, you continue.
“Also, I was thinking about it and if you guys are going to be with me 24/7 now, we need some ground rules.”
Jongho chuckled.
“Technically, we’ve always been here, you’ve just barely found out.”
You realize he’s right, and the memories of every single embarrassing thing that you’ve ever done in the privacy of your own home comes rushing back to you.
“Well, yeah, now that I know you guys are here,” you stumble over your words slightly. “Privacy is really big for me. I don’t have many rules, but I just ask that you guys don’t show up unannounced or else that might really freak me out, and please, if you’re going to come into my room, just knock.”
Everyone nods their heads in agreement.
“And,” you continue, “no more reading my thoughts please.”
Only a few of them nod, which makes you grow slightly concerned.
“Is that a problem?” You ask, a slight edge to your voice.
“Not at all,” Seonghwa reassures.
“It’s just that we do get a little concerned for when you’re alone. Being aware of your thoughts helps us decide if you need our help at that moment or not,” Hongjoong explains.
You nod.
“I get that, but if at least one of you is going to be by my side every single day from now on, I really don’t think there’s any need for you to read my thoughts.”
You continue.
“Plus, it’s really just about privacy for me. I don’t really feel comfortable with you guys having access to every single thought in my head, no matter how big or small.”
Hongjoong and Seonghwa both nod.
“We understand. And we’ll do our best to respect your boundaries.”
“Thank you guys,” you send them a small smile.
“Plus, if I need any help or anything, I’ll just yell out ‘bat’ really loud,” you joke, referring to the bruise you might’ve left on Wooyoung’s stomach.
Everyone laughs except for him.
“Not funny,” he pouts.
You let out a small giggle, patting him lightly on the arm.
“You did kind of deserve it, my friend.”
Clapping your hands together, you let out a deep exhale.
“Now that that’s all settled, I need to go grocery shopping. All of you are more than welcome to come.”
A few of them look very excited, which both excites you and makes you slightly nervous.
“Thank you for the invitation,” Hongjoong starts. “But Seonghwa and I will have to pass this time.”
You pout slightly.
“Aw man.”
“Trust me,” Seonghwa starts. “We would love to go on our first official errand run with you, little one, but we have some business to deal with upstairs.”
He uses his index finger to point up and you look up as well.
Upstairs?
“Ohhhh, you mean, like, heaven and all that,” you laugh nervously at your lack of understanding.
The two men nod.
“But don’t worry, we should be back by the end of the day,” Hongjoong reassures you.
“Don’t worry guys,” Mingi slings an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “We’ve got this.”
Hongjoong and Seonghwa stare at the male by your side, slightly unamused.
“That’s what we’re scared of.”
-
It’s officially been about a week since your near death experience and finding out about your guardian angels.
While having all of them around had certainly been awkward at first, you’ve all slowly begun to fall into a routine. Sometimes, you feel as though you’ve known them your whole life.
Which, to a certain extent, you kind of have.
Something about having them around just makes you feel incredibly safe and warm inside. Not to mention the slight butterflies you’ve been experiencing around them, but you’re quick to try and cage them as soon as they appear.
Wooyoung and Seonghwa have taken it upon themselves to cook most of the meals for the nine of you. Every day when you come home from work, you can always count on a warm, freshly cooked meal to be waiting on the table for you.
“You’re kind of like my house husbands,” you joked to them one time.
Seonghwa blushed, while Wooyoung had blown you a kiss.
“Anything for you sweetheart.”
Yunho and Mingi are the two that typically accompany you to work, although sometimes Jongho will tag along if he doesn’t have anything else to do. Despite the tall men’s playful personalities, they were both incredibly smart and helped you with your work whenever you felt particularly stressed out.
San was certainly one of the more playful angels, you had noticed.
Although all of them were fun to be around, San was always the first to notice when your mood wasn’t the best, and he was the best at comforting you after a long day. A bad day at work usually ended with San waiting for you with open arms as soon as you walked through the door for some cuddles and quiet time.
When Wooyoung and Mingi had found out about this little routine, they both immediately demanded to be allowed into the “cuddle time” as they called it.
Jongho and Yeosang were the two individuals who you enjoyed spending some quiet time with. The three of you would usually wind down together with some tea and some books or a show. Although they were a little more reserved than the others, you still genuinely enjoyed your time with both of them.
But they certainly had their moments where they could be just as chaotic as the others.
Exhibit A was the day you walked into your apartment to see Yeosang and Yunho standing in your kitchen covered in flour.
“What happened?” you had asked, absolutely astounded by the amount of flour that somehow managed to cover every inch of your kitchen. You didn’t even think you had that much flour to begin with.
The two of them sheepishly admitted that they were trying to bake some cookies, but things had gotten out of hand.
Clicking your tongue, you walked over to the roll of paper towels to begin cleaning up.
“What am I going to do with you guys-”
You had just turned around when the feeling of something soft and powdery hit your face. You sputtered, staring wide-eyed at the two angels. Yunho looked at you and then turned to Yeosang, who avoided your eyes.
What followed next was a flour fight that resulted in a very long clean-up shift.
There was also the time you found out Jongho literally had the voice of an angel.
The two of you were headed to your local plant store to look for some new plants to decorate your apartment with when one of your favorite songs came on the radio.
Turning the volume up, you began singing along softly as did Jongho. As the song continued, his voice grew louder, and when the two of you reached a red light, you were unable to do anything except stare at him slack-jawed at the voice that was coming out of him. Only the sound of the car behind you honking was able to shake you out of your stupor.
Now, you guys have little karaoke parties in your car when the two of you are alone.
The only angel you had yet to spend a lot of time with, however, was Hongjoong.
The man always seemed to be busy, as he was hardly ever in your actual apartment. Most mornings when you woke up, he was gone and he wouldn’t show up until the evenings.
You would be lying if you said the hushed arguments he would have with some of the others didn’t concern you. They always occurred at night, when they assumed you were fast asleep. And they always revolved around the same thing.
“She’s not the exact same, and that’s okay, but you guys can’t keep expecting her to be the same as our (Y/n).” You heard Hongjoong say one night.
You had been unable to fall back asleep after that.
Today, though, you really needed to go to the post office, and Hongjoong was the only angel available to accompany you.
You stood awkwardly at the end of your table where Hongjoong sat using your laptop to do something.
“Uh,” you clear your throat. “Hongjoong?”
He looks up a little startled.
“(Y/n),” he acknowledges. “Is everything okay?” He looks at you concerned.
“Yeah everything’s fine!” You reassure him.
“I just need to run a quick errand and the others are all busy so I was wondering if you could go with me,” you trail off.
God this is awkward.
To your surprise, although you really shouldn’t be, he nods his head quickly.
“Yeah of course. We can go now, if you’re ready?”
“Cool, let me just grab my bag and we can get going!” You rush to your room to grab your bag before walking back to the front door where Hongjoong already waits for you.
The two of you agree to make the short walk to the post office, commenting on how the nice weather is today.
Exiting through the front gates of your apartment, you two begin walking down the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder in silence.
“So is-”
“I wanted-”
The two of you start talking at the same time.
You both let out a laugh and you can feel your shoulders relax a bit.
“Go ahead,” you allow Hongjoong to speak first.
He takes a deep breath.
“I just wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been acting lately,” he says as he stares into your eyes.
You have to admit, that’s not what you were expecting him to say.
“Huh?”
“I’ve been really distant and pre-occupied lately,” Hongjoong continues. “And I know you’ve noticed, so I want to sincerely apologize. There’s been a lot of stuff I’ve been dealing with and I don’t want you to think I don’t like this,” he gestures between the two of you, “thing we have going on.”
You shake your head.
“No, please don’t feel like you have to apologize Hongjoong. To be completely honest, I have no clue what it is you guys have to deal with in the first place, but I’m really grateful you’ve all gone out of your way to help me.”
You let out a small, sad laugh.
“If I’m being honest, I don’t really get why you guys are helping me in the first place. I’m sure you’ve all had hundreds of different assigned humans throughout your existence, so I’m nothing special.”
Hongjoong stops abruptly and turns to face you.
“That’s not true,” he says firmly. The serious expression on his face has you taken aback.
“What?”
“You said you’re nothing special. That’s not true.”
Hongjoong sighs and grabs both of your hands.
“Look, it’s complicated to explain, and I will tell you, but we agreed we all wanted to tell you together. So, if you’re okay with waiting, I can tell you everything that’s been going on as soon as we get back to your apartment.”
You would be lying if you said his words don’t scare you a little bit.
“It’s okay Hongjoong, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” you reassure him, softly running your fingers over his knuckles.
He shakes his head.
“I- We all want to tell you, and you deserve to know the truth.”
You nod your head.
“Okay. Back at my apartment it is then,” you send him a small smile, which he returns.
“Before we head to the post office,” you start. “Do you want to visit my favorite cafe with me?”
Hongjoong smiles softly at you.
“I would love to.”
You guys continue walking down the few blocks and after a few minutes, you both stand at the stoplight that sits across from the cafe. You and Hongjoong laugh at the stories you tell him about the antics Yunho and Mingi get up to when you’re at work. The light turns green, and you begin to cross the street.
“I’m telling you, I just told them about this lady in my office who’s always getting on my nerves and they made it their mission to inconvenience her in every way possible!” You exclaim.
Hongjoong lets out a hearty laugh and you smile widely at how relaxed he looks.
Just as your about to continue your story, you notice the wind blowing your letter out of your purse.
Cursing, you tell Hongjoong to wait on the sidewalk while you run quickly after the paper. The letter lands in the middle of crosswalk and you’ve just barely managed to pick it up when the sound of someone yelling your name makes you whip around.
Coming towards you at a terrifying speed is a car.
You stand frozen in the middle of street, unable to move your feet.
You barely manage to catch a glimpse of Hongjoong’s terrified face when you feel your body get thrown back, and everything turns black.
-
You stand in a green field.
The scenery is absolutely gorgeous and you can feel the warm sun and cool breeze on your skin.
Looking around, you notice a large, crystal blue lake in the distance. Your legs begin to take you in that direction on their own accord.
You reach the lake and crouch down, slightly dipping your hand in the cool water. Soft ripples make their way across the surface of the water and you can’t help but feel completely at ease in this place.
Whatever this place is.
As you continue staring down into the water, you notice your reflection seems to look different.
The you staring back has much longer hair than you currently have, and the clothes your reflection wears is older, looking like they come from an early Victorian age.
You tilt your head to the side and notice that your reflection’s head doesn’t move.
A voice sounds out through your mind.
“You need to go back.”
“Go back?” You whisper aloud.
Your reflection nods.
“They need you.”
Other you doesn’t specify who you two are talking about, but deep down, you think you already know the answer.
Your reflection sends you a gentle smile before disappearing. You watch as the water returns to its calm state before gently pushing yourself back up to your feet.
You take one last look around the field you’re in, before closing your eyes.
-
The first thing you notice is how dark it is.
You can hear the sounds of people talking and crying around you, and you can feel hands softly grabbing your body, but you’re unable to open your eyes or move.
“Please,” someone whispers over your body.
“Please don’t leave us again.”
You lose consciousness once again.
-
The next time you wake up, your entire body hurts.
You let out a soft groan, slowly opening your eyes and allowing them to adjust to the soft light of your lamp.
Something heavy rests near your right hand, and turning your head slightly, you can see a head of familiar pink hear laying down next to you.
Using what little strength you have in your body, you raise your hand and gently rest it on Mingi’s head. Softly, you run your fingers through the short strands on his head.
He makes an inaudible noise and turns his head over so that you can now see his face. As you continue stroking his head, his eyes flutter open. He looks a little bit confused for a few seconds before his body is shooting up and he stares at you shocked.
“(Y/n),” he whispers softly.
“Hi Mingi,” you reply.
You watch as tears well up in his eyes and he throws himself on top of you, mindful to not rest his entire body weight on you. You can hear footsteps rushing towards your room before your bedroom door is being slammed open.
You can barely see over Mingi’s broad back that covers your frame, but you already know who it is.
As Mingi releases you, you attempt to sit up, only to stop and hiss in pain when jolts of pain shoot up your back.
“Be careful, little one,” Seonghwa says, moving forward to help adjust some pillows behind you.
You thank him and take a moment to look around at each of the men that surrounds your bed. You notice the dark circles under their eyes and the way their skin seems to lack it’s normal glow.
“You guys look worse than I feel,” you joke, trying to lighten the mood.
Yeosang frowns.
“You’ve been out for 4 days, sunflower.”
You blink harshly.
“Four days?”
Jongho nods.
“The worst four days of our entire existence,” he says.
You look down at the blanket that rests on your lap.
“I’m sorry.”
You’re not quite sure what you’re apologizing for.
“No I’m sorry.”
It’s Hongjoong who speaks.
He comes to your side, falling onto his knees beside your bed and taking your hand into his. He leans down to rest his forehead against your hand.
“I’m so sorry, my love,” he cries.
“I should’ve known. I should’ve seen the car coming, I should’ve moved faster, I should’ve gotten you out of the way-” he sobs.
“No, Hongjoong,” you shake your head. “There’s nothing you could’ve done, the car came out of nowhere and it was too fast.”
“I don’t think you understand,” Yunho whispers.
“We swore to never let you pass before your time again.”
You can’t help the confused look you give them, but then, you remember the reflection you saw in the lake.
How the person looked just like you, but from a different era.
The arguments you heard Hongjoong have with the others.
Softly resting your palm on Hongjoong’s tear stained face, you speak.
“I need you guys to explain everything to me.”
-
All nine of you sit in your living room.
The boys helped you get settled on the couch, where you sit with San and Wooyoung flanking both of your sides. Hongjoong and Seonghwa sit across from you three while Mingi sits on the floor next to your legs. Yunho sits to the right of San and Yeosang and Jongho remain standing, but still close.
“This isn’t the first time we’ve met you,” Hongjoong begins.
“We’ve been very lucky to have met you almost every single time you’ve been reborn.”
Yeosang continues.
“The first time we met you was an accident. You happened to stumble upon me when I was helping a wounded human at the time. Soon after, I introduced you to the others.”
“But I thought the only time humans could see a guardian angel was when they were close to death?” You questioned.
Jongho nods sadly.
“You passed away shortly after meeting the rest of us.”
“In almost every single life where you’ve been reborn,” Wooyoung explains.
“We’ve managed to find you, but we’ve never been granted the luxury of time.”
You softly run your fingers through his hair, hearing the tremble of his voice as he speaks.
“The last two times that you’ve been born, we’ve been fortunate enough to be your guardian angels,” Seonghwa smiles.
“But in your last life, you passed away prematurely,” San says.
You turn your head towards him.
“A freak accident that we weren’t able to save you from.”
Mingi turns around to look up at you from where he rests by your legs.
“We failed you,” he whispers sadly.
You shake your head.
“You guys didn’t fail me. Not then, and not now. Just because you guys are angels doesn’t mean you can control everything that happens.”
“Sometimes,” you take a deep breath. “Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can’t always protect the ones you love.”
“But we have to,” Hongjoong says, looking you in the eye. “Not only is that our job, but for selfish reasons too.”
He looks down at his hands.
“We couldn’t take watching you die another time.”
It’s silent for a moment.
“How am I still here then?”
Hongjoong looks back up at you.
“We made a deal.”
You send him a questioning look.
“A deal?”
All the men surrounding you nod.
“What kind of deal?” You prod, noticing how they seem to hesitate to give you more details.
“Our life in exchange for yours.”
You inhale sharply, the sudden movement causing pain to shoot up your back. Wooyoung and San attempt to soothe your pain, but your mind is only focused on the information they just gave you.
“What?”
“We made a deal with God,” Yunho starts. “Our status in heaven as guardian angels, in exchange for the guarantee that you would live a full life.”
“What?” you say breathlessly. “Why, why would you guys do that?”
“Because we’re selfish,” Jongho says, looking at you with such tenderness you’re unsure of what to do with yourself.
“And we don’t care about being angels or having those powers and helping others if it means we have to live in a world without you in it,” Mingi finishes.
Tears begin to well up and spill out of your eyes before you can stop them. San and Wooyoung cuddle impossibly closer to you, hugging you tightly while the others watch on with misty eyes.
“Thank you,” you sob into your hands. “Thank you.”
They all smile.
-
It’s been about a month since you almost (should’ve) died.
In that month, the ex-angels did their best to help you recover from your injuries, although they certainly complained about no longer having healing powers to help stop you from being pain.
“Welcome to the life of being a human,” you rolled your eyes.
“This is lame, maybe we should’ve stayed as angels,” Wooyoung muttered.
You smacked him on the chest, ignoring his yelp and complaints.
“Don’t make me bring out the bat again,” you warned.
After you were fully recovered, you focused on helping the boys adjust to their new lives as humans.
“Why do we have to walk everywhere?” Mingi groaned, dragging his feet behind you.
You rolled your eyes.
He’s just like a little kid.
“Because my car can only fit four of you, but all eight of you decided to accompany me to the store,” you remind him.
He says nothing, but you could still hear his grumbling.
As they’ve slowly adjusted to human life, the nine of you have fallen into a smooth routine that’s oddly domestic.
Wooyoung and Seonghwa continue to cook the meals for you guys, and you all make an effort to eat at least one meal together a day.
Seeing as most of them aren’t morning people, you typically opt to eat dinner together instead.
You’ve also decided to introduce them to your favorite bookstore.
“How ironic,” you muse, walking hand in hand with San and Yunho as you all approach the quaint shop.
“What is, sunflower?” Yeosang questions.
“This bookstore is the whole reason I met you guys in the first place,” you give San’s hand a small squeeze.
He squeezes it back three times.
Later that night, when you’ve all returned home, you guys decide to have a small movie night.
After arguing over what movie to watch, Jongho insisted on watching a horror movie, which Mingi complained about loudly.
Not that it mattered, most everyone ended up falling asleep by the time the film was halfway over, including yourself.
You could hear the sound of someone moving around quietly in the living room and turned your head to the side, burying your face deeper into Mingi’s chest. The feeling of a blanket being laid over the two of you was welcomed.
You felt someone leave a soft kiss on the side of your head.
“Goodnight my love,” Hongjoong whispered softly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
You hummed in reply, falling back asleep perfectly content and safe in the presence of your lovers.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
a/n: my fic to celebrate hitting 50 followers, you guys are insane, i love you all so much and i hope you enjoyed this as much as i enjoyed writing it :)
#ateez x reader#ateez imagines#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez ot8#ot8 x reader#ot8 imagine#angel au#guardian angel au#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez comfort
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some more sebastian michealis content pretty please? ur writing was wonderful to read in "always yours", i love the way you described the bond he has with the reader
Twisted Love | Sebastian Michaelis
A/N: Thank you darling, Sebastian is actually my favorite person to write. His personality gives lots of room for creativity, so i hope you like this as well <3
CW: mentions of religion, female reader, fluff, hurt with comfort, angst, dissociation, panic attack (with comfort)
The afterlife is a topic that is constantly in question. The Buddhists will tell you reincarnation, the Christians will tell you heaven and hell. The Atheists will say there is nothing, or shrug and say 'i don't know'
Whatever the case may be. The only thing that was certain to you, was you already knew what was after death.
You had given it name, after all....
Sebastian Michaelis.
He was your life, death and the afterlife. You had bound your soul to whatever he had in that dark, sinister and ridiculously tall body of his.
If it even was a him. Demons were not restricted by something as trivial as genders and sex. He could take on the form of your mother for all he cared and watch as your face contorted into one of horror and concern. He could be your ideal lover on paper come to life. He could be a fictional man you fantasize over. It wouldn't matter to him as long as he got to fuck you and devour you after a certain amount of time, and your contract was finished
"Penny for your thoughts, my lady?" Said a deep and familiar voice that snapped you out of your existential crisis. Which was a much more reoccurring thing since the notion of God, demons, angels and Grim Reapers was apperently a real thing now. One you would encounter and ponder about almost everyday of your life
It amused Sebastian, how a tiny human racked her brain over a thing that was so normal to him, it was as natural and trivial as how humans viewed their reality. However it only concerned him on days where it made you dissociate or even have a panic attack when you began to think it over on top of your mental issues
"Darling?" He uttered the name so sweetly, so deadly. From the depth of his throat into a poisonous whisper in your ear. You shuddered, shivered at the hot water, you realized has been tepid for a while, and the sponge in Sebastian's hand had gone from firm and gentle scrubs to lazy little rubs.
"Yeah?" You whispered, your voice surprising you from how it cracked and sounded so...distant. Even to it's host.
"Y/N." The voice was more stern now. Deeper. You realized you hadn't responded to something he had said. Everything felt...timeless. Empty. So quiet your ears rang and you could see yourself across the room...
How your body swayed from one side to the other. Your nipples hardened by the now cold water. With a looming Shadow behind you... embracing you...trapping you....ripping into you—
"Mistress" Sebastian urged. Holding your face. His gloves and vest off. Leaving him in his white,button up shirt and black slacks. The seal of your binding bright and black on his sickly pale skin.
He leaned in, parting the knees that were hugging your chest so he could kneel between them. Uncaring of how water splashed around them and soiled his clothes. And how the temperature of the water began to warm with his presence
He gently cradled your head. Letting his scent, thick with a cologne you had picked bring you back, ground you. Your eyes were teary, blurry, black
Black beauty he had fallen in love with, strangely enough. Even stranger so, he didn't even know if it was love. He was a demon. Over 500 years old. He was around to bring the black death to all of Europe. He hadn't known, and still didn't if he had ever been human.
If Sebastian Michaelis, the butler of the Victorian era was ever human. He had never pondered it. Never cared. Why would he? He was a creature that could not die to anything of the world he helped shift, make and destroy, depending on what master he served
Sebastian never pondered the before, not..before you
Before you he would rip into any cheap soul he came into contact with to satiate his hunger. Before you, he had begun to starve himself, looking, searching for a specimen good enough for his tastes.
He still recalls how you cried out for him. For anyone to save you from your prison. How weak, delicate and fragile you were. So bony and teary eyed when his shadow appeared, ripped into every human who hadn't been you. Who hurt you
Perhaps even then he had already developed an obsession for you. A twisted devotion for you before he was even yours. Before you even called out for him, had you already been meant to belong to him amd solely his.
Just how you pondered the meaning and existence and purpose of humanity, he pondered you.
On nights like this when he held you in his arms, in the middle of a cold bathtub, dimly lit by a candle or two when you had your episodes. How you so desperately clung onto him. In your mind he didn't actually care. He had made it very clear the first couple times you tried to even utter any feelings for him, that he, a demon, was incapable and uninterested in feelings. Especially for someone of a life form so lowly as yours.
It was a necessary cruelty. Because even now he didn't know if he was feeling love for you, or a twisted, sickening obsession with you. All of you. There were days he wanted to kiss you sweetly, just as he was doing now. And days he wanted to rip into your chest, crawl into your skin and devour your soul.
He wouldn't call that love. Who would?
But if he had to call it love so he could feel your gaze soften, how your soul's taste would sweeten so much he could feel a burn in his throat without even tasting it. To see your teary eyes close and your soft face gently nuzzle into his chest in affection you tried so pathetically hard to convince yourself he could feel.
It was hard, really. To abide by the contract. When you would be so gentle with him of all people. Something would crawl into his chest where a heart would be and it would itch him to rip into himself and tear it out.
Whether he had been human once or not mattered not anymore. He told himself. But on days like this where he had wiped your tears, dressed you gently and tucked you beside him in your chambers, under your order for cuddles. He pondered if he was human, what could he have given you
Would he have been strong like he was now? Could he have the strength to protect you? Could he have bedded you as you liked? Gave you a child even, if it was what you wished? What would a child look like, one that carried his blood in their veins and your sweet face
Would he be able to care for you how he did now? How he pampered you and didn't let you lift a finger?
Would he have been a provider? Not let you work so you could stay at home, pretty and perfect for him to make love to when he came home tired,sweaty and longing to be in your arms
Sebastian pondered these feelings. Exhaustion, joy, pleasure, anger. Things that did not control him, that did not exist in him. In all his years of existence he never spared them a thought
But when he held you he felt them all.
A peculiar curiosity as to the what ifs of a human being. How they had so little time and spent most of it wasting away at a school or a job. How many never felt or experienced true love. How many never had someone to hold or be held. Never felt the joy of a son or a daughter or a loving parent
Did you feel these things? Before your parents died in that fire? Before you lost everything you had ever had and was taken as property for sick and twisted old men to do with you as they wanted? Did you ever want to be a mother? Live to die old?
.... Sebastian glared at your sweet little face. Puffy and pink from tears. Your lips swollen from his kisses. How your hands clung to his bare chest. Legs wrapped around his thigh. Your cold nose burrowed into his neck that sent shivers down his spine.
He didn't notice when he eyes began to water and harden. Glowing red under the moonlight through your window. When the warmth between you two became burning hot and his fangs dug into his lips
He listened as you occasionally whimpered when your dreams tried to darken into nightmares and he would hold you tighter, feel you soften under his arms.
Sebastian felt something warm and wet on his face. It wasn't your tears...no...no you had stopped crying hours ago and the sun was up...
It was up?
Sebastian shot up in bed. Breathing hard.
He couldn't breathe.
He glared at his palm. Wide eyed
It was dripping wet.
"Im... crying?"
#sebastian x reader#sebastian michaelis x reader#kuroshitsuji sebastian#kuroshitpost#kuroshitsuji angst#black butler angst#sebastian michaelis#black butler fanfic#black butler smut#black butler#sebastian michaelis angst#sebastian michaelis fluff#sebastian michaelis smut#sebastian michaelis comfort#black butler ciel#black butler sebastian#black butler season 4
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Hello, I don't know if you accept request but I have some ideas and I thought you might like to write about it. I hope you could make Fluff and angst story about Sanemi and fem reader. The plot is something like, while they were having hashira training they promised they'll retire and get married soon but unfortunately it was the same night that they were called out because Muzan just found the Ubuyashiki mansion.. So infinity castle happen annddd Fem reader died after protecting Genya from the attacks of the upper moon. Sanemi just just arrived and he get to hear her last breath... "Sanemi, do not mourn.. Because someday, in another life, we might have a family of our own.. But now, we still have score to settle... Do what you must..for everyone.... For us."
After that, Senemi give his best and fight. Until it was over. Peaceful at last, but he hope or wish that reincarnation thing happen in the future.. Because he would like to meet fem reader once again.
And it happen in the modern times, she became a wife with their three children and Sanemi was a police officer.
Sorry if it's long, hope the plot is to your liking or stuff and thank you for your time to read this
We’ll meet again
Sanemi x fem!Reader
warnings: angst-> fluff, cursing, injuries, death (reader, Sanemi) not proofread
————————————————————————
Sanemi waited outside your estate for your training to end. He planned to take you out to eat that night since it was your birthday. When he heard the door open, he leaned up from the wall and looked over at you. A smile crept onto his face when he saw you, you had let your hair down which was a rare sight. “Hey. Gosh you look beautiful.” You giggled as he held out his hand, waiting for you to take it. “Thank you.” “Of course. Are you ready to go?” You nodded enthusiastically.
The two of you were making your way to a nearby village to get food as your favorite restaurant was there. You both talked about retiring soon and starting a family as you were both getting to the age where you wanted to settle down permanently. As the two of you were about to reach it, Sanemi’s crow came flying in frantically. “Emergency, attack at Ubuyashiki Mansion!” You and Sanemi both looked up. “What the fuck?!” Sanemi yelled as he started off running, you behind him. The two of you were about an hour away, you wouldn’t make it in time. “Sanemi what do you think is going on?!” You cried out, looking for a sense of relief. “I don’t know, but it has to be bad.” The two of you continued to follow his crow till you came up onto the mansion. You looked over and saw the rest of the Hashira, even Tanjiro.
As Sanemi tried to run into the mansion, it blew up. He froze almost instantly. You held your hands over your mouth as tears started flowing down your face. “Oh my-!” You screamed. “What is going on Sanemi?!” He looked back at you with a shocked expression. “I-I don’t know.” It was rare that you saw Sanemi show any emotion except for anger, or even love, but this was different..he seemed distraught.
As the flames died down ever so slightly, you all ran up to see if anyone was alive. When you did, you saw a guy standing there in the middle with a woman standing before him, her arm in his stomach. He was being pierced with a bunch of giant thorns. You looked slightly behind him and saw Gyomei. You watched as he tried to behead the guy, but it didn’t work. Suddenly you heard him scream. “Everyone, it’s Muzan!” Another gasp left your mouth. “M-Muzan?!” You looked over at Sanemi and saw a face full of hatred. Suddenly, everyone charged at Muzan. You hesitated slightly, but joined. Multiple breathing forms were called out, but once you reached him, you fell. Everyone fell.
Sanemi had told you about a place that looked like this that him and Obanai fell into. You had unfortunately got separated from Sanemi as you fell. After falling for some time, you were put into a room. You looked around and saw Muichiro and Genya. “Where are we?” You heard genya speak up. “I-I don’t know-“ you cut yourself off as you looked up and saw Uppermoon 1. “Shit.” You quietly mumbled. You looked over at Muichiro who was staring at the Uppermoon. You could see he was trembling. You walked over to him and placed your hand on his shoulder. He looked up at you and saw you had a reassuring smile on your face. “It’ll be okay.” He seemed to calm down a little and nodded. ————————————————————————
The battle with uppermoon 1 was tiring. You and Muichiro were having difficulties fighting with him. You had been knocked back a bit and when you caught your breath and looked up, you saw he was going straight for genya. Being a Hashira meant you had to sacrifice yourself for others, even if it meant you’d be killed in the process. You ran and jumped infront of him, taking the blow that was meant for him. Your legs had been cut off in the process. “Y/n!” Genya kneeled down beside you. You pushed him away. “Genya, help Muichiro, not me.” He fumbled with his hands for a moment before he nodded and got up. You laid there, slowly going numb. That’s when you saw that familiar face: Sanemi. He saw you on the ground bleeding out and he ran over to you.
“Y/n! Oh my gosh, you’ll be okay right? No you will be okay.” He was crying as he lifted you up. “Sanemi, please don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry..” This however made him cry even more. You slowly felt yourself losing consciousness, body somehow becoming more numb. “Sanemi..maybe in another life we will have that family we wanted..but right now you need to leave me here and fight, help Muichiro, Gyomei, and Genya..do what you must. For everyone…for us.” Those were the last words he heard from you as you passed away in his arms. “Y/n? Y/n?!” He tried to shake you, but he was too late. He gently laid you back down and got up, rage filling his body. He joined the others fighting. ————————————————————————
Sanemi lost two people that night. You and his brother. And slowly, he was losing himself. He had heard of a thing called Reincarnation, and he prayed it was real, because it meant he had a chance on meeting you again. Slowly, Sanemi passed away from his injuries. Hoping to see you again. ————————————————————————
You had just finished making dinner when your husband walked in with his police uniform still on. “Hi sweetie, how was work?” He sighed as he took his hat off and put it on the hat stand. “Tiring, but it was good.” You smiled at him as you got the table set. “Well, dinner is ready, go ahead and sit down.” We walked over to you and tilted your head up and kissed you. “Thank you darling.” You smiled at him. You turned away and called for your three girls. “Girls, dinner is ready!” You both heard the slaps of feet on the ground as they ran to the dining room. “Daddy!” The youngest one has yelled. They all crowded him as he hugged them each.
The oldest looked over at the table and made a face. “Mom, you made broccoli casserole again?” You turned your head at her seeing the face she made. “Yes, I did.” You gave her a sweet smile and went back to what you were doing. Sanemi bent down towards them and whispered smth to them. “If you guys eat it, I’ll give you some candy.” Little did he know, you had heard him. “Sanemi, you know they don’t get sweets before bed.” He looked at the girls and saw the pouts on their faces and looked back at you and saw you weren’t paying attention. He turned back to the girl and winked at them. “Oh yeah, how could I forget? Sorry girls, no sweets tonight.” They all smiled at him as they took their seats.
That night was awful. The girls stayed up super late and you knew Sanemi gave them candy. He couldn’t help but laugh when you gave him a small slap on his arm once the girls finally passed out in the living room, 2 hours after their bedtime. ————————————————————————
Ty for the request! I’m sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted, but I hope you like it!
#viralpost#demon slayer#kny x reader#demon slayer x reader#sanemi shinaguzawa#kny sanemi#sanemi x reader#sanemi shinazugawa#demon slayer sanemi
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Erik/Charles AO3 Fic Recs: Part 1
shamelessly adding some of my favorite fics that I've read and posted on this blog already, but they'll be all in one place. some may be familiar or well-known, but hopefully, there will be some that are new.
if you visit this blog on desktop, you can filter by 'favorites' to find all my favorite fics at once; but for those on mobile, hope this helps!
Do You Love Me by cgf_kat
Summary: Charles and Erik have been married for 25 years, thrown together by a mandatory post-apocalyptic pairing system attempting to increase and strengthen the population. They have seven children. They have never spoken of love, but change is on the horizon. ReadingCherik Notes: Warnings for mpreg. One of the first Cherik fics I read, and I still think about it. Very well thought out plot with characters that we all love sprinkled in via wonderful ways. If you love a good apocalyptic fic, definitely recommend.
The stars incline us, they do not bind us by ikeracity & Pangea
Summary: Intergalactic Federation pilot Lieutenant Charles Xavier is assigned last-minute to a high profile mission: transporting over two thousand prison inmates from an old and overfilled prison complex to a newer, higher-capacity prison stronghold located on the outer reaches of the galaxy. Just as he's settling down for a long and uneventful ride, things take a turn for the worse after the inmates riot and stage a hostile takeover of the ship, leaving Charles to find himself at the complete mercy of cold-blooded killers and facing the chilling prospect that he might not ever make it back home alive. ReadingCherik Notes: Warnings for dub-con and non-con. These two authors are powerhouses on Cherik ao3, and putting them together created this beautiful masterpiece. Moments in this fic are heavy and tough, so if physical angst and hurt aren't you're thing, perhaps pass this one up.
The Courtship by danveresque
Summary: A story about a courtship that began five hundred years ago. ReadingCherik Notes: I cannot describe how much I love this fic. It's a reincarnation fic where the two main characters Erik and Charles are related to their old ancestors Magneto and Professor X. This fic tackles the age old question of, "If given another try, would things be different?", and this author paints a beautiful picture on the route to breaking the cycle of Magneto and Professor X's souls. 11/10, must read.
Space Jam by Pangea
Summary: Prince Charles Xavier is Deputy Commander of the TEF Heartsteel and the newest mission they've been assigned starts out less than desirable and quickly goes downhill from there. It's alright, though, he'll cope. It doesn't help, though, that he's in unrequited love with his best friend and Commander of the Heartsteel, War-Prince Erik Lehnsherr. ReadingCherik Notes: Another Pangea fic, but this one reads completely differently. Very fun, very light, and the tone of this fic is just a breath of fresh air. There are many fics in this series, this being the first; so if you want a lighthearted yet plot-filled fic, I'd recommend.
The World Outside Was Hungry by tzigane & Zaganthi (Caffiends)
Summary: He supposed that he wasn't the only member of the psychology department who heard voices, nor was he the only one who did not attribute it to illness. ReadingCherik Notes: Erik and Charles meet as teenagers. This is their love story with a twist that is so well-written. Closely related to the comics, but even without reading them, I understood. Great, great fic.
How deep is the ocean, how high is the sky by Kworei
Summary: Young Charles and Magnus on a date on a summer evening. ReadingCherik Notes: This fic was just so touching and warm when I first read it that it immediately became a favorite. Once again, aligns with the comics; and it's just pure joy with two young mutants who love each other.
Lift me from my preconceptions by LimerenceKing
Summary: Online dating is hard enough, but being both mutant and disabled made it much harder for Charles. He thinks he finally finds someone, and sets out to go on a date with her. // Author here, I’m disabled and I’ve seen a few fics try this sort of story, but I’ve decided to give it ago with my help from my own perspective. Here’s an actual disabled Charles fic for you :) ReadingCherik Notes: This fic, oh god, this fic. So good, so well-written, so important. I feel like we don't get this perspective enough in fics, and there's always a time and place for it; and this author just blew me away. Excellent fic.
Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours by madneto & Pangea
Summary: Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it. Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people. ReadingCherik Notes: This is a Fifth Element AU, and I love love love that movie; and this fic does it so much justice. Quirky just like that film, similar in all the right spots and different everywhere else.
#cherik#cherik fic#erik lehnsherr#charles xavier#erik/charles#charles x erik#erik x charles#charles/erik#charles xavier x erik lehnsherr#erik lehnsherr x charles xavier#readingcherik
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Good Omens Fan Fiction Friday (1/10/25) - "Mixed" AU Fics
Okay, this is a weird theme. But it occurs to me that some of my fave fics have been tales where one of our ineffable pair is mortal while the other remains a supernatural being. It's a rich starting point for fiction. And it brings some creative results.
Let's start off with The Scarecrow (M) by AppleSeeds in which a lonely Aziraphale inherits a 14th century home. One night, the scarecrow he's been talking to in the field mysteriously appears in his bedroom. It's a little spooky with a sweet ending. Also by AppleSeeds is Ghost (T) in which Crowley finds a posh ghost sharing his flat. Said ghost is apparently worried about him and makes him dinner and draws him relaxing hot baths. Imaginative story with a surprising ending.
I'll admit this next pick gave me pause. I avoided it for a long time before reading thanks to the explicit rating, presence of a sleep paralysis demon, and the dub consent tag. But when I took a chance, Be Still, My Love, Be Still (E) by @entanglednow quickly became a fond favorite. It's amazingly tender. And the writer finds a creative way to incorporate consent into a relationship where one party is paralyzed and unable to speak. I highly recommend this lovely story.
Want some demon/human fluff? Check out Blue Roses (G) by NotEvenCloseToStraight. The demon Crowley owns a flower shop across from a cute bookshop owner. He "talks" the flowers into behaving in a way that will ensure he gets a shot at making the relationship progress.
The monarch of comic asides, @wyvernquill, gives us a crossover with a famous musical in The Serpent of the Opera (T). The wily Phantom, er Serpent, kidnaps Eden Opera House's bookkeeper, Aziraphale. Hilariously oblivious Aziraphale assumes it was so he could play matchmaker for the Serpent with his true love. Loads of laughs. Fun to see the extremes to which denial can go. In 21 Grams (T) by @hakunahistata, Hell gives 7-year-old orphan Anthony the ability to see demons. As you can imagine, he's terrified. But he gets help from angel Aziraphale after praying. So thankful to @addledmongoose for suggesting this. I absolutely love it.
Aziraphale buys a cottage for a great price in @commodorecliche 's in the house we remain (M). But the books authored by a former owner, Anthony Crowley, who died on the property, keep turning up in surprising places. A sweet, ghost love story.
Crowley finds Aziraphale working in a library on earth after losing track of him a year after leaving the bookshop in Among the Stacks (NR) by MeinirRhos. But Aziraphale doesn't remember being an angel. And is apparently mortal? Of course, Crowley has no choice but to love him anyway. The opening line: "What do you wear to mourn when all you ever wear is black?" Yep. lots of angst but a happy ending.
My final choice is a fandom classic beloved by many. So if you haven't read it, I highly recommend the series, Pray for Us, Icarus (G & T) by Atalan. Crowley becomes human and reincarnates over 300 years. Aziraphale tries to restore Crowley to his immortal, demonic status but only ends up hurting them both. It will break your heart. And heal it by the end. I promise.
Did I miss your favorite tale of a mortal/supernatural pairing for our adorable Good Omens characters? Share in the comments. More recommendations each Friday--follow and reblog if you like what you see.
#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#good omens fanfiction#fan fiction#fan fiction recommendations#good omens fanfic rec#go fan fiction recommendations#go fan fic recs#go fan fiction#queue
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