#reid vents

[fragmented-light-sys]

numbness, anhedonia, weed and dissociation.

thats it.

-Reid

[m00nchi16]

Maybe unpopular opinion: I’m tired of reading fics where they’re enemies to lovers or they’re casual about their feelings I want to read them feel so much for each other that they feel sick because they love each other so much like the gods intended!

(I have bpd and love so intensely and no fanfic has properly described how intense my love can be)

[frankiebirds]

[guppygiggles]

I had a pretty rough evening, in a mental illness kind of way. I’m alright, and I’m still going to keep going with tickletober, but I needed to take a break and draw something for comfort tonight. It’s not graphic or anything, but it’s a little sad, so I’ll put it under a cut.

I love you. 💙 Thank you for being here.

[cherry-png]

AmberLynn Reid doesn’t understand she is also very privileged.

ALR loves to bring up how thin people are more privileged than bigger people will ever be, and I’m not going to deny a majority of society does tend to favour people who aren’t as big.

But ALR fails to acknowledge just how privileged she is as well. The fact that she’s able to plate herself more than three times a day is beyond a privilege. There are times, mainly in my past (I’m doing a bit better nowadays), when I didn’t know when my next meal was. There was a time when I literally was only able to eat my melatonin gummies for two days because that was the only source of food in the house.

I’ve literally had large portions of my hair fall out just from brushing or washing it because of how malnourished I was. ALR is so privileged to just film a stupid, half assed vlog and have enough money to pay her bills, stock her fridge and cabinets, and still be able to afford stuff for her three pets and buy bathroom essentials (shampoo, toilet paper, soap, etc).

I literally don’t want to hear it from her that she grew up poor and had a traumatic childhood, because guess what. There are so many people who share similar childhood experiences as her (such as myself) and aren’t using it as a random defence mechanism.

You don’t get to use ‘I had a traumatic childhood’ as a response for pity. I’m not going to deny ALR may have very well had a traumatic upbringing and grew up poor, but that fact that she currently has the ability to pick herself back up but actively chooses not to is just… and don’t even get me started on the way she self sabotages omg…

Okay I’m blabbering on now, sorry for that. Disclaimer; I understand eating disorders (in the context, an over eating disorder) can very much take over your life, and a rough upbringing won’t do anything to help it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to pick herself back up though. ALR is privileged in certain ways where other people struggle; Having an easy source of money (imo), being able to plate her food, etc.

And I’m genuinely not sorry if I sound mean in this post. ALR is not a ‘good’ person imo. Even if she decides to pick herself up, get her act together, take responsibility, and becomes a genuinely decent human being… that won’t erase all the harm she managed to cause throughout the years (speaking from the perspective of a person that experienced an abuser very similar to ALR for years).

[lights-on-the-ridge]

another paying customer

aka bunny’s last night in the barn

[i-live-in-spite]

I wish I could say that Lia from the naturals gets likeable and the last 2(fully fledge) books are a little fuzzy. But Lia in the naturals and killer instincts I hate so much. "You didn't do any but get caught" the fuck you mean, Cassie(the main character) could be just going to the basement for literally anything, and people argue(in book) that since Cassie is a profiler she shouldn't be in the basement..but honestly she has a right to be there, because profilers look at scenes too. And the only reason she got banned was because Sloane(their inhouse Spencer Reid) built something. Like.. Cassie didn't ask her to do it, didn't even put the idea in Sloane's head. Lia is just fucking jealous because she knows Cassie would be better for Micheal(their pretty boy™) and she could actually heal Dean's wounds. Like it's not her fault you and Micheal are horrible for each other, and y'all don't try to be better. Their relationship is mostly built on pissing off dean and ignoring pain and their feelings. Like Lia is so bitchy because Cassie just wants to try to help, and it leads to people getting hurt..it's almost like she didn't tell Micheal to follow her and dean when they went to a safe house? And it's almost like Cassie thought she could trust the person who told her and dean to go to the safe house like..? Lia sucks

[sushi-rat]

"My child is completely fine"

Ma'am. Your child is listening to an asmr audio of their favorite character saying "I love you" to them because of the intense desire to be near someone who doesn't mind that they're a little messed up and broken mentally and physically but life has shown them that people like that only exist in media, which they've been using to drown their sorrows for years due to immense isolation from their peers

[wniemocy]

Exams eathing my ass in and out. Also I hurt my hand while doing comic. Shit happends and I'm not fast enough to pick it all up and throw to the bin.

I want to draw so bad... I want to make more my re8 oc Andrzej stuff too.

Anyway have some cats

[osamucide]

having a very rough time and i just want kisses and cuddles from dazai

[abyssalcookie]

When the Devs are doing maintenance on CRK, please be respectful and patient.

I heard what some of you folks were doing on their official discord. And I am extremely disappointed in thoes individuals who threw their temper tantrums.

At least devsisters actually compassionate for the time loss.

For those who showed patience and understanding. Thank you.

Just remember when they have to do emergency maintenance it means they're trying to make the game better for you and make sure everything is what it's supposed to be.

[simp4eshal]

I hate my so called Father.

I hate my so called « Father » so much. I despise him, and the slut he took in as his wife and who thinks that she has a say in my future, in my life. I hate him for never being there for me, for always insulting me, for always being malicious and then blame ME for not telling him the truth. I hate him because he never does anything without motive, because he hits me, because I was so happy with my mom and my brother before he came (back) into the picture, because since he forced my brother and I to live with him we haven’t been happy, because he stops us from seeing and calling our mom (he’s jealous bc we’re closer) everychances he gets. I hate him because he forces me to have physical contact with him, and if I don’t want to or try to protest he insults me and menace to hit me. I hate him because since he’s in my life, I havent had a single real friend, i struggle to have relationships with people, i don’t believe in love and i’m in constant search of a fatherly figure, even if it means we’ll get romatical. I hate him because he makes my mom sad, and she tries to act like it’s not the case. I hate him because he never takes me seriously, because I can’t have a phone, can’t go out, can’t invite people, can’t have long hair, can’t wear rings or makeup, and so on. I hate him because he’s been hypersexualising me since i’m 11 yo. I hate him because since i met him, really met him, i’ve been waiting for the day I could finally live. I hate him because even when I’m about to start my last year of highschool, he’s still planning on dictating my future life. I hate him because he’s happy to see me suffer. I hate him because he made me feel disgusted by my body. I hate him because thanks to him I almost fell into anorexia. I hate him because I’ve been willing to die so many times. And most importantly, I hate him because he’s the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever known, and he’s the epitom of the man you should avoid having in your life, but he’s my « father », and because of that, I can’t really hate him.

[swaggysagiewagie]

Hey guys..

I wont be on for a couple of weeks

Quick mini vent

My rabbit died and my family is saying its my fault

So i just need some time to greave this

Stay safe 🫶🏻

[lonelymuffin]

me rn:

[cherry-png]

I need to start being a productive bitch. Like dude, I’m so tired of myself for setting some goals/deadlines for myself, and then not falling through. Like…. AmberLynn Reid who? LMAOOO

[fragmented-light-sys]

fuck them.

fuck the professionals who made me so scared of having bpd.

insinuating that their misdiagnosis was right and that my problems could only come from bpd which i was terrified about because my family heavily stigmatized the disorder and counted my half-sister with bpd to their "black sheep" because of things caused by her disorder. im not saying shes perfect but she definitely didnt deserve everything she got.

i was scared i was going to be fucking shunned if i "displayed bpd symptoms" at all. there were like 5 fucking other things to explain all of this but you just stuck with it, didnt talk to me about the diagnosis at all and just briefly told me that "dissociation could only point to bpd", made me believe for years that i was just destined to be thrown out by my family. it didnt matter how intelligent i am, i relied on them to find an answer and all they did was put a fucking stencil on me and send me on. i was scared for years that i had bpd and that i was going to get shunned and even if i knew it was a misdiagnosis, i was always scared that in reality i really am just.. too much, too dramatic for everyone if i let myself be myself.

btw: i dont see bpd in a negative light but my own self-perception definitely has affected how i see my connection to a pd that i dont have. im the only one in my family who tries to support my sister. just saying.