#reflection of the inner mind and its fears.

[esotericalchemist]

𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 - 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐒𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞: 𝐔𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 & 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

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This is the twelfth and final post in our 12-part series dedicated to helping you glow up using the wisdom of astrology. Each post has explored a different astrological house, uncovering its unique themes and offering insights to help you transform and thrive in every area of your life.

In this post, we’re focusing on the twelfth house—the house of the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and release. The twelfth house invites us to journey inward, confront hidden fears, and embrace the art of surrender. It is a place of quiet reflection, where old patterns are released, and profound transformation takes root. Glowing up your twelfth house means reconnecting with your intuition, healing deeply held wounds, and creating space for spiritual renewal. Let’s explore how the sign ruling your twelfth house can guide you toward lasting inner peace and self-discovery.

𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the hidden realms of the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and releasing old patterns. With Aries ruling this house, your approach to these themes is bold, dynamic, and action-oriented. Ruled by Mars, Aries in the twelfth house brings a courageous and fiery energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of confronting fears, initiating healing, and embracing spiritual growth with determination. Your glow-up involves taking charge of your healing journey, channeling your inner fire into creative solitude, and fearlessly letting go of what no longer serves you.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Courageous Release

Aries in the twelfth house empowers you to confront old habits, limiting beliefs, or emotional baggage with bravery. You have the ability to face even the most challenging aspects of your subconscious and release them through action.

To glow up in this area, focus on practices that allow you to express your inner struggles physically, such as journaling, intense workouts, or dynamic breathwork. Aries thrives on movement, so engaging in cathartic activities helps you shed old patterns and reclaim your inner power.

Embrace Aries’ boldness by setting clear intentions for what you want to release and taking decisive steps to do so. Your courage in facing the unknown paves the way for profound transformation.

Deep Healing: Active and Empowering Practices

Aries in the twelfth house approaches healing as an empowering journey of self-discovery. You thrive on techniques that encourage independence and self-reliance, such as martial arts, assertiveness training, or solo retreats that help you reconnect with your strength.

To glow up your healing process, focus on active methods that engage your body and mind. Energy work, yoga, or therapies that combine movement with introspection are particularly effective for you.

Embrace Aries’ dynamic energy by taking ownership of your healing journey. Your ability to take initiative ensures that you find solutions that truly resonate with your unique path.

Spiritual Practices: Dynamic and Grounding Rituals

Aries in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through action and embodiment. You find meaning in practices that ignite your inner fire and help you align with your personal power, such as moving meditations, chanting, or rituals involving fire or light.

To glow up spiritually, focus on rituals that balance your fiery nature with inner peace. Morning sun salutations, lighting candles during meditation, or creating affirmations that inspire courage and self-belief can deepen your connection to the divine.

Embrace Aries’ pioneering spirit by exploring new spiritual practices and tailoring them to your needs. Your willingness to experiment ensures a vibrant and personal connection to your spiritual journey.

Creative Isolation: Channeling Passion into Solitude

Aries in the twelfth house thrives in creative isolation where you can channel your passion into meaningful projects. Whether it’s writing, painting, or designing, your creativity flourishes when you’re free to explore your ideas without external distractions.

To glow up creatively, dedicate time to solo pursuits that allow you to express your innermost thoughts and emotions. Aries energy loves challenges, so tackling ambitious projects during periods of solitude can be incredibly fulfilling.

Embrace Aries’ proactive energy by setting goals for your creative endeavors and celebrating your progress. Your ability to channel your intensity into artistic expression leads to both healing and inspiration.

𝐓𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐔𝐒 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Taurus ruling this house, your approach to these themes is grounded, sensual, and focused on finding peace through stability and beauty. Ruled by Venus, Taurus in the twelfth house brings a nurturing and calming energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of healing through connection to nature, creativity, and self-worth. Your glow-up involves letting go of outdated attachments, embracing healing through sensory experiences, and finding solace in spiritual practices that ground and restore you.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Attachment

Taurus in the twelfth house encourages you to release attachment to material possessions, outdated habits, or relationships that no longer bring value to your life. Your healing process involves recognizing where you’ve held on too tightly and allowing space for renewal.

To glow up in this area, focus on practicing non-attachment and trust in the abundance of the universe. Decluttering your physical and emotional life can create a sense of liberation. Consider grounding exercises, such as barefoot walks in nature, to reconnect with simplicity.

Embrace Taurus’ steady energy by letting go at your own pace. Your ability to move through change calmly ensures that the process feels safe and empowering.

Deep Healing: Sensory and Grounding Practices

Taurus in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that engage the senses and promote relaxation. Your path to healing involves nurturing your body and mind through touch, sound, taste, and other sensory experiences that bring peace.

To glow up your healing journey, explore practices like aromatherapy, massage, or sound baths. Cooking nourishing meals, tending to plants, or practicing mindfulness through crafting are also deeply restorative.

Embrace Taurus’ love for beauty and comfort by creating a healing environment that feels serene and inviting. Surrounding yourself with natural elements like flowers, soft textures, or soothing colors enhances your ability to heal and restore balance.

Spiritual Practices: Grounded and Sensual Rituals

Taurus in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through rituals that incorporate the physical world. You find meaning in practices that ground your energy and help you feel deeply connected to your body and the earth.

To glow up spiritually, focus on grounding rituals such as yoga, gardening, or meditation with natural elements like crystals or essential oils. Expressing gratitude for life’s simple pleasures strengthens your spiritual connection.

Embrace Taurus’ sensual energy by creating rituals that celebrate beauty and abundance. Lighting candles, preparing herbal teas, or meditating in a peaceful outdoor setting enhances your spiritual experience and grounds your energy.

Creative Isolation: Finding Beauty in Solitude

Taurus in the twelfth house thrives in solitude where you can channel your creativity into projects that bring beauty and joy. Your creative glow-up involves immersing yourself in art, music, or crafts that allow you to express your inner world.

To glow up creatively, set aside time for activities like painting, sculpting, or writing poetry. Taurus energy appreciates slow and steady progress, so approach your creative work with patience and mindfulness.

Embrace Taurus’ grounded energy by celebrating the process as much as the outcome. Your ability to find joy in creating enhances your sense of fulfillment and peace.

𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Gemini ruling this house, your approach to these themes is intellectual, curious, and adaptable. Ruled by Mercury, Gemini in the twelfth house brings a dynamic and mentally active energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of understanding your subconscious patterns, exploring spiritual knowledge, and using communication and creative expression for healing. Your glow-up involves releasing mental clutter, engaging in reflective practices that stimulate clarity, and channeling your creativity into solitary exploration.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Mental Overload

Gemini in the twelfth house highlights the need to release old mental patterns, overthinking, or scattered focus. You may hold on to outdated beliefs, worries, or thought processes that keep you from accessing inner peace.

To glow up in this area, focus on practices that declutter your mind, such as journaling, meditative writing, or conscious breathwork. Consider digital detoxes or reducing distractions to create mental space for clarity.

Embrace Gemini’s adaptable nature by reframing unhelpful thoughts into empowering ones. Your ability to pivot mentally allows you to shift perspectives and free yourself from limiting beliefs.

Deep Healing: Intellectual and Expressive Practices

Gemini in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that engage the mind and encourage communication. You’re drawn to exploring your inner world through reflective practices like therapy, storytelling, or dialogue with trusted individuals.

To glow up your healing process, engage in activities like journaling, blogging, or even recording your thoughts to explore your subconscious mind. Reading self-help or philosophical books can also offer insights and expand your understanding.

Embrace Gemini’s communicative energy by sharing your experiences in ways that feel safe and creative. Talking about your feelings or turning them into art or stories is profoundly healing for you.

Spiritual Practices: Mentally Stimulating and Reflective Rituals

Gemini in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through learning and exploration. You find meaning in practices that engage your curiosity, such as studying spiritual texts, exploring different belief systems, or engaging in intellectual debates about the nature of existence.

To glow up spiritually, focus on creating rituals that stimulate your mind and calm your thoughts. Guided meditations, affirmations, or reading spiritual philosophies are excellent ways to align with your higher self.

Embrace Gemini’s love for variety by exploring different spiritual practices and finding what resonates. Your path to spiritual growth is flexible and ever-evolving, allowing you to integrate new insights as you go.

Creative Isolation: Mental Stimulation in Solitude

Gemini in the twelfth house thrives in solitude where you can channel your creativity into intellectually stimulating projects. Your glow-up involves using your time alone to write, brainstorm, or engage in research that brings your inner world to life.

To glow up creatively, dedicate time to projects like writing a novel, creating a blog, or even experimenting with poetry or screenplays. Gemini energy flourishes when it’s mentally engaged, so pursue endeavors that keep your mind active.

Embrace Gemini’s dynamic energy by allowing yourself the freedom to explore multiple creative outlets. Your adaptability and curiosity make solitude a rich source of inspiration.

𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Cancer ruling this house, your approach to these themes is emotional, nurturing, and deeply intuitive. Ruled by the Moon, Cancer in the twelfth house brings a compassionate and reflective energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of emotional healing, reconnecting with your inner child, and finding spiritual solace in self-care and nurturing practices. Your glow-up involves letting go of emotional baggage, healing through self-compassion, and cultivating spiritual practices that honor your sensitivity and inner depth.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Emotional Baggage

Cancer in the twelfth house urges you to let go of unresolved emotional wounds, past disappointments, or lingering fears that weigh on your heart. Your path to healing involves acknowledging your feelings and creating a safe space to process them.

To glow up in this area, focus on nurturing yourself through practices like journaling your emotions, engaging in inner child healing, or creating rituals to honor and release your past. Water-based rituals, like bathing with intention or visiting the ocean, can be especially powerful for you.

Embrace Cancer’s intuitive energy by trusting your emotional instincts and honoring the cycles of release and renewal. Your willingness to feel deeply is your greatest strength in letting go.

Deep Healing: Nurturing and Emotional Practices

Cancer in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that focus on emotional support, nurturing, and connection to your inner self. You are drawn to practices that allow you to feel safe and comforted, such as therapy, creative expression, or spending time in nature.

To glow up your healing journey, prioritize practices that soothe your emotional body, such as mindfulness, working with comforting scents (like lavender or chamomile), or creating a sacred space at home for reflection.

Embrace Cancer’s nurturing nature by being gentle with yourself as you heal. Surround yourself with people, environments, and activities that provide warmth and a sense of belonging.

Spiritual Practices: Intuitive and Reflective Rituals

Cancer in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through emotional and intuitive exploration. You find meaning in practices that foster deep emotional connection, such as meditation, prayer, or exploring dreams.

To glow up spiritually, focus on rituals that center on your emotional well-being. Moon rituals, reflective journaling, or working with your dreams can help you tune into your subconscious and align with your spiritual energy.

Embrace Cancer’s connection to the Moon by syncing your spiritual practices with lunar cycles. Setting intentions during the New Moon or releasing during the Full Moon can amplify your healing and spiritual growth.

Creative Isolation: Emotional Expression in Solitude

Cancer in the twelfth house thrives in solitude where you can express your emotions through creativity. Whether it’s writing, painting, or music, your creative glow-up involves channeling your feelings into artistic outlets that bring healing and catharsis.

To glow up creatively, dedicate time to projects that allow you to explore and process your emotions. Your sensitivity and intuition make you a natural storyteller or artist, so embrace these gifts in your solitude.

Embrace Cancer’s reflective energy by allowing yourself to work at your own pace. Your creativity flourishes when you honor your emotional rhythms and create from a place of authenticity.

𝐋𝐄𝐎 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Leo ruling this house, your approach to these themes is bold, creative, and heart-centered. Ruled by the Sun, Leo in the twelfth house brings a radiant and transformative energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of self-expression, uncovering your hidden gifts, and healing through reconnecting with your inner light. Your glow-up involves releasing insecurities, finding creative and spiritual outlets for self-discovery, and embracing solitude as a space to reignite your inner spark.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Fear of Judgment

Leo in the twelfth house asks you to release self-doubt, fear of judgment, or a tendency to hide your brilliance. You may subconsciously hold yourself back from shining due to past criticism or unresolved feelings of inadequacy.

To glow up in this area, focus on practices that build your self-confidence in private. Affirmations, shadow work, or writing letters to your past self can help you reclaim your self-worth. Use solitude to reconnect with your inner child and remember the joy of unfiltered self-expression.

Embrace Leo’s courage by facing your fears with love and strength. Your willingness to heal old wounds and let go of insecurities unlocks your fullest potential.

Deep Healing: Creative and Heart-Centered Practices

Leo in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that reignite your sense of purpose and creativity. You heal deeply through activities that allow you to express your emotions and connect with your authentic self.

To glow up your healing process, explore creative outlets like journaling, painting, or performing arts. Use these practices to express emotions you may have kept hidden and to celebrate your unique gifts.

Embrace Leo’s warmth by surrounding yourself with uplifting environments, even in solitude. Soft lighting, inspiring music, or vibrant colors can enhance your healing space and remind you of your inherent radiance.

Spiritual Practices: Radiant and Empowering Rituals

Leo in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through self-empowerment and creative exploration. You find meaning in practices that help you embrace your inner light, such as visualization, solar meditations, or rituals that focus on self-love and inner strength.

To glow up spiritually, focus on building a spiritual practice that centers on self-affirmation and reconnecting with your purpose. Sun meditations, gratitude journaling, or working with gold or yellow crystals (like citrine or sunstone) can help you channel Leo’s radiant energy.

Embrace Leo’s regal energy by celebrating your spiritual victories. Acknowledge your progress, honor your resilience, and take pride in your personal growth journey.

Creative Isolation: Rediscovering Your Inner Artist

Leo in the twelfth house thrives in creative solitude, where you can channel your artistic vision into meaningful projects. Your glow-up involves using your alone time to rediscover the joy of creating for yourself, free from external validation.

To glow up creatively, dedicate time to projects that allow you to explore your imagination and passion. Write a story, compose music, or design something that reflects your inner world. Let your creativity be a source of healing and self-discovery.

Embrace Leo’s dramatic energy by fully immersing yourself in your creative process. Treat your solitude as a sacred time to express your inner brilliance.

𝐕𝐈𝐑𝐆𝐎 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Virgo ruling this house, your approach to these themes is thoughtful, analytical, and service-oriented. Ruled by Mercury, Virgo in the twelfth house brings a grounded and introspective energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of organizing your thoughts, healing through intentional practices, and letting go of perfectionism. Your glow-up involves releasing self-critical tendencies, embracing spiritual rituals that foster clarity, and channeling your healing journey into creating systems that support inner peace.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Perfectionism

Virgo in the twelfth house often manifests as a subconscious tendency toward self-criticism or striving for unattainable standards. Letting go of these patterns requires recognizing where perfectionism is hindering your growth and embracing imperfection as part of the human experience.

To glow up in this area, focus on cultivating self-compassion. Journaling about your successes, practicing affirmations, or writing down moments of gratitude can shift your focus from what you lack to what you’ve achieved.

Embrace Virgo’s practicality by creating small, manageable goals for personal growth rather than overwhelming yourself with lofty expectations. This gradual approach ensures sustainable healing.

Deep Healing: Structured and Reflective Practices

Virgo in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that involve structure, analysis, and self-awareness. You excel in creating rituals or routines that bring order to your inner world and allow you to process emotions methodically.

To glow up your healing process, explore activities like guided journaling, creating detailed wellness plans, or analyzing your thought patterns with the help of therapy or mindfulness exercises. Organizing your space or decluttering can also be deeply therapeutic.

Embrace Virgo’s grounded energy by balancing reflection with action. Use your natural problem-solving skills to address emotional or mental blocks with practical solutions.

Spiritual Practices: Grounded and Mindful Rituals

Virgo in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through mindfulness, routine, and intentionality. You find meaning in practices that merge introspection with tangible action, such as daily meditation, nature walks, or integrating spiritual habits into your day-to-day life.

To glow up spiritually, focus on creating rituals that bring clarity and peace. This could include morning gratitude lists, lighting a candle to signify the start of quiet reflection, or engaging in simple yoga sequences that connect mind and body.

Embrace Virgo’s detail-oriented nature by crafting a spiritual practice that feels personal and intentional. Small, consistent efforts lead to profound inner peace over time.

Creative Isolation: Intentional and Purposeful Solitude

Virgo in the twelfth house thrives in solitude where you can channel your creativity into meaningful and purposeful work. Your glow-up involves using your alone time to create something tangible that reflects your inner healing and clarity.

To glow up creatively, dedicate time to projects that combine artistry with precision, such as crafting, writing, or designing. Virgo’s attention to detail ensures that your creative work becomes a source of fulfillment and pride.

Embrace Virgo’s love for purpose by setting intentions for your creative endeavors. Treat your solitude as a sacred space to bring your visions to life with care and focus.

𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Libra ruling this house, your approach to these themes is harmonious, balanced, and relationship-focused. Ruled by Venus, Libra in the twelfth house brings a gentle and aesthetic energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of finding balance in solitude, healing through harmonious relationships, and connecting spiritually through beauty and inner peace. Your glow-up involves releasing codependent patterns, cultivating inner harmony, and embracing creative and spiritual practices that foster balance and emotional well-being.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Codependency

Libra in the twelfth house often points to subconscious patterns of seeking external validation or relying heavily on others for emotional balance. Letting go involves recognizing where you may overextend yourself in relationships and reclaiming your sense of inner equilibrium.

To glow up in this area, focus on practices that encourage self-reliance and self-love. Journaling affirmations about your worth, meditating on the concept of balance, or setting boundaries in relationships can help you let go of old habits.

Embrace Libra’s desire for harmony by consciously seeking balance in your emotional landscape. Your ability to restore equilibrium in yourself creates a stronger foundation for healthier relationships.

Deep Healing: Harmonizing Through Beauty and Connection

Libra in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that promote harmony and beauty. Surrounding yourself with soothing environments, engaging in creative pursuits, or nurturing relationships that bring peace are essential to your healing journey.

To glow up your healing process, focus on practices like decorating a serene space for reflection, creating art or music that expresses your emotions, or exploring guided meditations that center on balance and inner beauty.

Embrace Libra’s Venusian energy by treating yourself to acts of self-care, like a spa day, a nature retreat, or engaging in mindful rituals. These small acts of care bring a sense of balance and nurture your inner well-being.

Spiritual Practices: Aesthetic and Harmonious Rituals

Libra in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through beauty, balance, and peace. You find meaning in practices that align with your love for harmony, such as practicing gratitude, engaging in mindful movement, or participating in ceremonies that emphasize unity and aesthetic appreciation.

To glow up spiritually, focus on rituals that create a sense of calm and symmetry, like arranging an altar with candles, flowers, or crystals. Meditating on themes of love, forgiveness, and harmony can also deepen your spiritual connection.

Embrace Libra’s artistic and relational energy by involving others in your spiritual journey. Sharing a meditation practice or attending a sound bath with a friend or group can enhance your experience and strengthen bonds.

Creative Isolation: Artistic Expression in Solitude

Libra in the twelfth house thrives in creative solitude, where you can channel your appreciation for beauty into meaningful projects. Your glow-up involves using your alone time to express yourself artistically and restore balance to your inner world.

To glow up creatively, engage in activities like painting, designing, or writing poetry. Libra’s love for symmetry and elegance makes you naturally talented in creating works that inspire harmony and joy.

Embrace Libra’s flair for beauty by treating your creative time as a sacred practice. Surround yourself with colors, textures, and sounds that spark your imagination and enhance your sense of peace.

𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Scorpio ruling this house, your approach to these themes is intense, transformative, and deeply emotional. Ruled by Mars and Pluto, Scorpio in the twelfth house brings a profound energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of shadow work, embracing spiritual rebirth, and delving into the depths of your psyche to release fears and emotional wounds. Your glow-up involves confronting your deepest truths, healing through transformation, and connecting with spirituality in ways that empower and renew you.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Fear and Control

Scorpio in the twelfth house encourages you to confront and release subconscious fears, unresolved traumas, or tendencies to hold onto control. You may unconsciously resist letting go due to fear of vulnerability or transformation.

To glow up in this area, focus on shadow work and practices that allow you to explore your emotional depths safely. Journaling about your fears, exploring therapeutic techniques like EMDR, or engaging in rituals for release during a New Moon can help you surrender old patterns.

Embrace Scorpio’s fearless nature by facing your shadows with courage. By allowing yourself to feel and process your deepest emotions, you create space for powerful inner transformation.

Deep Healing: Transformative and Empowering Practices

Scorpio in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that delve deep into the subconscious. You are drawn to practices that uncover hidden truths and offer profound emotional release, such as psychotherapy, energy healing, or breathwork.

To glow up your healing journey, explore transformative techniques like hypnotherapy, past-life regression, or shamanic journeys. These practices align with Scorpio’s love for uncovering the unseen and tapping into the mysteries of existence.

Embrace Scorpio’s regenerative energy by seeing healing as a process of rebirth. Each step you take toward understanding and releasing old wounds strengthens your sense of empowerment and resilience.

Spiritual Practices: Mystical and Transformative Rituals

Scorpio in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through mystery, intuition, and transformation. You find meaning in practices that explore the unseen and allow you to connect with your higher self on a profound level, such as meditation, divination, or working with the cycles of the Moon.

To glow up spiritually, focus on rituals that honor your inner depth. Practices like candle magic, tarot, or connecting with water (Scorpio’s element) can help you access the transformative energy of your spiritual path.

Embrace Scorpio’s passion for intensity by diving deep into mystical studies or exploring esoteric philosophies. Your spiritual growth is most fulfilling when it engages both your intellect and intuition.

Creative Isolation: Transforming Pain into Power

Scorpio in the twelfth house thrives in solitude, where you can channel your intense emotions into creative and transformative projects. Your glow-up involves using your alone time to turn pain into power, expressing yourself through art, writing, or other creative outlets.

To glow up creatively, engage in projects that allow you to explore themes of transformation, rebirth, or emotional depth. Writing a memoir, creating dark and evocative art, or composing emotionally powerful music can help you process your inner world.

Embrace Scorpio’s transformative energy by treating your creative process as a form of alchemy. Your ability to turn raw emotion into beauty and meaning is a profound source of healing and empowerment.

𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Sagittarius ruling this house, your approach to these themes is expansive, optimistic, and deeply philosophical. Ruled by Jupiter, Sagittarius in the twelfth house brings an adventurous and questing energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of finding spiritual freedom, exploring hidden truths, and releasing limiting beliefs. Your glow-up involves embracing spiritual exploration, letting go of mental restrictions, and using solitude to connect with higher wisdom and visionary creativity.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Limiting Beliefs

Sagittarius in the twelfth house highlights the need to free yourself from outdated belief systems or subconscious fears that hold you back from fully expanding into your potential. Letting go involves questioning assumptions and embracing a broader perspective.

To glow up in this area, focus on practices that challenge your inner narrative, such as journaling, studying different philosophies, or engaging in guided meditation. Releasing old fears about the unknown allows you to step into your spiritual power.

Embrace Sagittarius’ adventurous energy by reframing challenges as opportunities for growth. Your ability to find meaning in life’s complexities makes letting go an empowering process.

Deep Healing: Expansive and Philosophical Practices

Sagittarius in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that expand the mind and nurture the soul. You are drawn to practices that involve learning, travel, or connecting with global spiritual traditions to heal on a deep level.

To glow up your healing journey, explore transformative practices like spiritual retreats, breathwork, or studying sacred texts. Traveling to sacred sites or engaging with cultures different from your own can also provide profound healing experiences.

Embrace Sagittarius’ questing spirit by remaining open to the idea that healing is an ongoing journey. The insights you gain along the way help you grow into your highest self.

Spiritual Practices: Expansive and Visionary Rituals

Sagittarius in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through exploration, faith, and a connection to universal truths. You find meaning in practices that align with your thirst for knowledge and freedom, such as studying astrology, exploring world religions, or practicing gratitude.

To glow up spiritually, focus on creating rituals that inspire hope and connect you to the bigger picture. Practices like sun-gazing, creating a vision board, or affirming your belief in abundance can align you with Sagittarius’ expansive energy.

Embrace Sagittarius’ love for exploration by experimenting with spiritual techniques from around the world. Your open-mindedness allows you to incorporate wisdom from many traditions into your personal practice.

Creative Isolation: Visionary Exploration in Solitude

Sagittarius in the twelfth house thrives in solitude where you can channel your inner philosopher or visionary. Your glow-up involves using alone time to expand your creative horizons and dream big, whether through writing, teaching, or creating art inspired by your spiritual insights.

To glow up creatively, work on projects that connect your inner world with universal themes, such as writing a book, creating inspiring art, or designing workshops. Sagittarius energy loves expansive ideas, so don’t shy away from ambitious projects.

Embrace Sagittarius’ optimism by treating your creative process as a joyful exploration. Your ability to weave wisdom and inspiration into your creations makes your work uplifting and transformative.

𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Capricorn ruling this house, your approach to these themes is disciplined, grounded, and deeply purposeful. Ruled by Saturn, Capricorn in the twelfth house brings a structured and transformative energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of releasing control, finding wisdom in solitude, and using introspection to build a foundation for lasting growth. Your glow-up involves confronting and releasing internal blocks, embracing spiritual practices that focus on resilience, and pursuing healing with patience and determination.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Control and Rigidity

Capricorn in the twelfth house highlights the need to let go of rigid expectations, fears of failure, or subconscious patterns of self-doubt tied to a need for control. Your glow-up begins when you release the weight of perfectionism and learn to trust the process of transformation.

To glow up in this area, focus on practices that encourage surrender and acceptance, such as meditation, journaling about your fears, or breathwork. Letting go of the need to micromanage every detail of your life opens you to new possibilities.

Embrace Capricorn’s determination by setting intentions for gradual change. Your ability to take measured steps toward freedom ensures lasting growth.

Deep Healing: Structured and Empowering Practices

Capricorn in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that involve structure and long-term commitment. You excel when you incorporate discipline and consistency into your healing journey, making even the most profound transformations feel achievable.

To glow up your healing process, engage in practices like therapy, creating a step-by-step wellness plan, or establishing routines that prioritize self-care. Rituals that incorporate goal-setting or journaling your progress can provide clarity and a sense of accomplishment.

Embrace Capricorn’s grounded energy by viewing healing as a process of rebuilding. Your steady approach ensures you emerge from challenges stronger and more resilient.

Spiritual Practices: Grounded and Practical Rituals

Capricorn in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through grounding and purposeful practices. You find meaning in rituals that emphasize stability, structure, and connection to the natural world, such as mindfulness, working with Earth elements, or meditating on long-term intentions.

To glow up spiritually, focus on creating a disciplined spiritual practice. Setting aside time for daily meditation, gratitude journaling, or working with crystals like black tourmaline or smoky quartz can help anchor your energy.

Embrace Capricorn’s love for tradition by incorporating rituals that honor ancestral wisdom or cultural practices. Your spirituality flourishes when it’s both meaningful and rooted in action.

Creative Isolation: Building Foundations in Solitude

Capricorn in the twelfth house thrives in solitude, where you can channel your creativity into building something lasting and meaningful. Your glow-up involves using alone time to work on projects that align with your vision for growth and impact.

To glow up creatively, focus on long-term goals like writing a book, starting a personal blog, or crafting something tangible that reflects your inner journey. Capricorn energy excels when paired with patience and persistence, so embrace ambitious projects that challenge and inspire you.

Embrace Capricorn’s focus on mastery by treating your creative endeavors as a legacy. Your dedication and hard work turn your dreams into enduring achievements.

𝐀𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Aquarius ruling this house, your approach to these themes is innovative, visionary, and deeply intuitive. Ruled by Saturn and Uranus, Aquarius in the twelfth house brings a revolutionary energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of freeing yourself from outdated beliefs, embracing spiritual evolution, and exploring unconventional pathways to healing. Your glow-up involves breaking free from subconscious limitations, connecting to a higher vision of collective growth, and using solitude to innovate and inspire.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Mental Constraints

Aquarius in the twelfth house asks you to release rigid or outdated thought patterns that prevent you from embracing your uniqueness. You may unconsciously hold onto societal expectations or fear being misunderstood, limiting your ability to fully express your individuality.

To glow up in this area, focus on liberating practices like journaling to reframe limiting beliefs, exploring radical ideas, or using affirmations to affirm your unique brilliance. Releasing the need for conformity allows you to align with your authentic self.

Embrace Aquarius’ inventive nature by daring to question the status quo of your inner world. Your willingness to think differently ensures profound emotional and spiritual breakthroughs.

Deep Healing: Progressive and Transformative Practices

Aquarius in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that are unconventional, forward-thinking, and aligned with collective growth. You heal deeply when you embrace practices that connect your inner transformation to the larger world, such as group meditations, humanitarian projects, or technology-assisted wellness tools.

To glow up your healing journey, explore innovative therapies like sound healing, energy work, or biofeedback. Joining communities that focus on mental health or spiritual awakening can also provide support and insight.

Embrace Aquarius’ visionary energy by viewing your healing process as a pathway to inspiring others. Your ability to blend personal growth with collective evolution empowers you to create meaningful change.

Spiritual Practices: Visionary and Evolving Rituals

Aquarius in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through innovation, universal love, and a desire to understand the greater cosmic design. You find meaning in practices that merge intellect with intuition, such as astrology, astronomy, or studying metaphysics.

To glow up spiritually, focus on rituals that expand your understanding of the universe. Stargazing, meditating on the concept of interconnectedness, or exploring sacred geometry can align you with Aquarius’ higher frequencies.

Embrace Aquarius’ progressive nature by staying open to exploring new spiritual practices and technologies. Your path to spiritual growth is about constantly evolving and adapting to align with higher truths.

Creative Isolation: Innovating in Solitude

Aquarius in the twelfth house thrives in solitude where you can dream up revolutionary ideas and creative solutions. Your glow-up involves using your alone time to explore futuristic projects or artistic visions that push boundaries and inspire progress.

To glow up creatively, engage in projects like writing about futuristic themes, designing innovative art, or brainstorming solutions to global issues. Aquarius energy excels in spaces where creativity meets purpose, so pursue work that resonates with your desire to make a difference.

Embrace Aquarius’ originality by giving yourself the freedom to experiment and explore unconventional approaches. Your ability to innovate during moments of solitude is a gift to both yourself and the world.

𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝟏𝟐𝐓𝐇 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄

The twelfth house governs the subconscious, spiritual practices, deep healing, and the release of old patterns. With Pisces ruling this house, your approach to these themes is intuitive, empathetic, and deeply spiritual. Ruled by Jupiter and Neptune, Pisces in the twelfth house brings a mystical and imaginative energy to your inner world, emphasizing the importance of surrender, divine connection, and healing through compassion and creativity. Your glow-up involves releasing illusions and fears, embracing spiritual practices that align with your intuition, and allowing solitude to fuel your imagination and soul growth.

Letting Go of Old Patterns: Releasing Illusions and Fears

Pisces in the twelfth house invites you to release subconscious fears, escapist tendencies, or illusions that cloud your path. You may unconsciously hold onto fantasies or fears that prevent you from fully accessing your spiritual and emotional potential.

To glow up in this area, focus on gentle practices that help you surrender and trust the flow of life. Guided meditations, visualization exercises, or writing down fears and releasing them in rituals can help you let go of what no longer serves you.

Embrace Pisces’ compassionate energy by forgiving yourself for past mistakes and embracing the beauty of imperfection. Letting go of fear clears space for divine clarity and peace.

Deep Healing: Gentle and Intuitive Practices

Pisces in the twelfth house thrives on healing methods that nurture your emotional and spiritual core. You are drawn to practices that encourage introspection, connection with higher realms, and the release of emotional burdens.

To glow up your healing journey, engage in activities like dream analysis, energy healing, or working with water as a healing element. Spending time near the ocean, taking healing baths, or simply sitting by a river can be profoundly restorative.

Embrace Pisces’ empathetic nature by allowing yourself to feel your emotions fully and process them in a safe, loving space. Your intuitive connection to your inner world leads to deep and lasting healing.

Spiritual Practices: Mystical and Creative Rituals

Pisces in the twelfth house connects to spirituality through creativity, intuition, and transcendence. You find meaning in practices that help you merge with the divine and explore the infinite, such as meditation, prayer, or artistic expression.

To glow up spiritually, focus on rituals that enhance your connection to the divine. Try practices like automatic writing, painting as a form of meditation, or exploring music that resonates with your soul. Connecting with your dreams or exploring the Akashic Records can also deepen your spiritual practice.

Embrace Pisces’ mystical energy by approaching spirituality with open-hearted wonder. Your ability to merge intuition and creativity into your spiritual path allows you to transcend the ordinary and access divine wisdom.

Creative Isolation: Dreamlike Expression in Solitude

Pisces in the twelfth house thrives in creative solitude, where your imagination can flow freely and connect you to higher realms of inspiration. Your glow-up involves using this alone time to create art, music, or poetry that reflects your inner vision.

To glow up creatively, immerse yourself in projects that allow you to channel your emotions and spiritual insights. Pisces energy excels in creating ethereal and dreamlike works, so let your imagination guide you without judgment or limitation.

Embrace Pisces’ dreamy energy by allowing yourself to lose track of time in your creative process. Your solitude becomes a sacred space where magic and healing intertwine.

Masterlist this series - TikTok (Matrix of Destiny) - Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

[plutosunshine]

Where you will find your healing?

The ruler of the 12th house

The 12th house in astrology is often called the "house of the unconscious," dealing with themes of spirituality, isolation, and hidden realms of the psyche. However, it is also deeply connected to healing—particularly on a spiritual and psychological level. Healing in the 12th house is not about the physical body but the soul, mental health, and the release of karmic burdens. It's where we confront and resolve deep-seated fears, self-sabotaging behaviors, and unresolved emotional pain.

The ruler of the 12th house—depending on which house it governs in your natal chart—can offer key insights into the paths or methods through which you may experience healing. 

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 1st house

You might be highly sensitive to the energies around you, often feeling that your inner struggles are visible, even when trying to hide them. Healing, in this context, requires self-awareness—acknowledging and understanding your hidden wounds instead of avoiding or suppressing them. Practices like journaling, introspection, and therapy can help bring these subconscious patterns to light.

With this placement, there is a strong need to express what is typically hidden. Healing may come through showing up authentically in the world, revealing your vulnerabilities, and allowing yourself to be seen, flaws and scars included. Art, creative expression, or public speaking can serve as powerful outlets for releasing buried pain, transforming those deep-seated wounds into something that empowers you.

Because the 1st house relates to your identity, self-image, and physical body, healing may also come through developing self-compassion and acceptance. Often, with this placement, there's a tendency to be too hard on yourself or to internalize the suffering from the 12th house. You may feel like you're carrying a heavy burden without even understanding why. However, developing compassion for yourself, recognizing your limitations, and being kind to yourself are essential steps toward healing. Mindfulness and meditation practices can help cultivate this sense of compassion.

This placement can indicate that spiritual growth and healing are central to your life path. You may find that your healing journey requires a spiritual or mystical approach. Meditation, energy work, or even time spent in solitude and retreat (a key theme of the 12th house) can help you process these deep-seated issues and bring peace to your soul.

Since the 1st house also rules the physical body, there's a direct connection between your subconscious and your physical health. Healing your deep-seated wounds may require body-based therapies, such as yoga, breathwork, or somatic experiencing. This can help release stored traumas in the body, making the connection between mind and body essential for your healing process. Attending to your body's needs and listening to what it's telling you can be a profound way to address long-held emotional or spiritual pain.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 2nd house

Healing may come through working on your sense of self-worth and how you manage your material resources. Since the 2nd house relates to finances and possessions, you may find that grounding yourself in managing money, acquiring security, and building stability can be therapeutic. Developing a healthy relationship with what you value materially can help ease deeper anxieties rooted in the unconscious.

The 12th house represents isolation and the subconscious. Placing its ruler in the 2nd house suggests you may find healing by withdrawing from the material demands of the world at times. You might benefit from moments of solitude, where you can reflect on what you truly value and connect with your inner self. Meditation, spiritual retreats, or creative solitude can offer profound healing and allow you to realign your priorities.

This placement can suggest that certain old beliefs about money, self-worth, or material security, rooted in the subconscious patterns, must be let go for healing to occur. You may be carrying hidden fears or anxieties related to scarcity or self-worth that, when confronted and released, will open the door to both spiritual and material abundance.

Healing with this placement often requires you to blend the spiritual and material worlds—finding a sense of peace, security, and self-worth by tapping into the deeper, unconscious layers of your psyche. Reflecting on your relationship with money, possessions, and inner values will be crucial.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 3rd house

Healing can come through communication, learning, and connecting with your immediate environment.

In this context, you may find that expressing your deeper thoughts and emotions—whether through journaling, talking with siblings, or close friends—helps you release buried feelings and heal inner wounds. Healing could also come through engaging in meaningful conversations or learning something new, particularly in areas that help you better understand your inner self.

Activities like meditation, mindfulness, or even writing about your experiences may also serve as powerful tools for self-awareness and emotional release. Traveling within your local area, taking short trips, or spending time in familiar environments also offers a sense of peace and healing, helping you process your emotions more consciously. Finding ways to bridge your inner world with your everyday interactions can unlock powerful healing energies for you.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 4th house

Healing involves connecting with your home, family, and deepest roots.

In this case, you may find that healing is deeply tied to your family history or your relationship with your home life. Addressing unresolved issues from your past, particularly childhood experiences or family dynamics can bring you peace and closure. Spending time in your home, creating a nurturing and safe space for yourself, or even reconnecting with your family can help you heal emotional wounds that you may have been carrying unconsciously.

This placement also suggests that inner peace may be found through introspection and solitude at home. Practices like meditation, journaling, or simply retreating into the quiet of your private space can help you process and release deep-seated fears or anxieties. You might also find that exploring your ancestral roots or understanding family patterns offers powerful insights into your subconscious and aids in your emotional healing journey. Ultimately, grounding yourself in your personal and emotional foundations will be key to unlocking deep healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 5th house

Healing comes through creative self-expression, joy, and embracing your inner child.

In this case, healing is found when you allow yourself to engage in activities that bring joy, fun, and spontaneity. Creative outlets such as art, music, writing, or any form of artistic expression can help you process unconscious emotions and release internal tension. These mediums connect you with deeper parts of yourself, channeling hidden emotions into something positive and uplifting.

Romantic relationships and love experiences can also help you heal. You may find that engaging in heartfelt, playful connections helps you heal emotional wounds tied to fear or vulnerability. Likewise, embracing your inner child—reclaiming a sense of play, adventure, and excitement—can unlock healing by releasing the weight of hidden fears and anxieties.

The 5th house also governs self-confidence and individuality, so healing comes when you allow yourself to shine and embrace who you are unapologetically. Finding joy in hobbies, spending time with children, or indulging in your passions can help bring about deep emotional and spiritual healing, reconnecting you with your true essence.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 6th house

When the ruler of the 12th house is in the 6th house, healing is found by merging your subconscious or spiritual needs with practical, everyday actions. You heal through routines, work, health care, and service to others. Daily habits, such as regular exercise or mindfulness, help bring emotional stability, while serving or helping others can provide a deep sense of healing.

Work environments might reflect subconscious fears or anxieties, offering opportunities for self-growth. Holistic practices—like yoga, meditation, or energy healing—are especially beneficial, as they connect the mind, body, and spirit. Addressing psychosomatic symptoms or hidden emotional patterns tied to past experiences is also key to healing.

In essence, healing comes through structured routines, health-conscious habits, and service-oriented actions that balance physical and spiritual well-being.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 7th house

Your healing process is likely to be intertwined with your relationships. Partnering with others—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—can help you access parts of your subconscious that need resolution. Issues like trust, boundaries, or hidden fears may surface in partnerships, but these relationships also offer profound opportunities for growth and healing.

Since the 12th house has a spiritual or karmic nature, its ruler in the 7th house suggests that certain partnerships may feel destined or karmic. You may be drawn to partners who help you uncover deeper spiritual lessons, and through these connections, you can find peace and emotional healing.

Relationships may force you to confront fears or unresolved issues from your past. Through the mirror of partnership, you can see your own subconscious patterns more clearly. This can be challenging, but facing these fears with a partner’s support leads to healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 8th house

Your healing process is deeply transformative. This placement indicates that in order to heal, you may need to face significant internal changes. You are likely to go through cycles of release and rebirth, shedding old psychological baggage and emerging stronger. This process can be intense but ultimately leads to profound healing and personal growth.

The 8th house is where we encounter the shadow side of life—fear, trauma, loss, and taboo subjects like death and sexuality. The 12th house ruler suggests that you can heal by diving into these areas, bringing hidden fears and traumas to the surface to process and release them. This may involve facing past wounds or subconscious fears that have been buried but are ready to be transformed.

The 8th house rules intimate, deep bonds with others, especially through emotional and physical closeness. Healing can come through these powerful connections, where you learn to trust and surrender control. Vulnerability in intimate relationships allows you to release long-held emotional patterns and find healing in shared experiences.

Since the 12th house relates to spirituality and the subconscious, the ruler in the 8th house suggests that your healing may also involve spiritual transformation. Exploring mystical or esoteric practices, meditation, or engaging in inner shadow work can help you transform subconscious fears into personal empowerment.

The 8th house is often associated with crisis or loss, and while this can be challenging, it also represents opportunities for deep healing. You may find that healing comes after significant life transitions—whether through financial change, the ending of a relationship, or confronting mortality. These events push you to go deeper within yourself, leading to healing through acceptance and transformation.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 9th house

Healing may come from exploring spiritual teachings, religious practices, or new philosophical ideas. Engaging in deep contemplation about the meaning of life, purpose, and the universe can provide clarity and inner peace.

Travel, particularly to foreign lands, can offer solace and rejuvenation. Exposure to different cultures, spiritual traditions, or sacred places can bring about profound healing experiences.

The 9th house also rules higher education. Healing could come through engaging in study, whether formal education or self-guided learning. This can include reading philosophical works or even studying healing modalities like yoga, meditation, or psychology.

The 9th house, with its connection to belief systems, offers a potential path to healing. Reexamining your personal faith or finding a new belief system that resonates with your soul’s deeper needs can provide a strong foundation for emotional and spiritual healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 10th house

Healing and spiritual growth are closely tied to your career, public life, or social status.

With this placement, you might find that engaging in meaningful work, pursuing a career that helps others, or taking on a role in the public eye brings deep personal healing. You could also be drawn to professions that involve caring for the less fortunate, working in hospitals, mental health, or spiritual fields where you support others behind the scenes. Healing can also come through achieving a sense of purpose and recognition in your work and overcoming any fears of failure or feelings of being unseen.

Balancing your private spiritual needs with your public responsibilities is crucial. If you use your professional life as a vehicle for service or healing, it can be a source of profound fulfillment.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 11th house

Healing and spiritual growth are closely connected to your friendships, social groups, and long-term aspirations.

With this placement, you might find healing through meaningful connections with like-minded people or by being part of a group that shares common ideals. Participating in humanitarian causes or working toward collective goals can be a source of deep fulfillment and spiritual renewal. You may feel drawn to helping others within your community or engaging in social movements that bring healing to yourself and society as a whole.

Additionally, your spiritual growth can emerge through your ability to connect with people who help you expand your consciousness and allow you to express your unique vision for the future. Your healing journey might also involve balancing your need for solitude with your desire to be part of a larger collective, finding ways to contribute to the greater good while nurturing your own inner world.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 12th house

This placement signifies a deeply introspective and spiritual journey toward healing.

You may find that solitude, meditation, spiritual practices, or time spent in retreat from the outside world are essential for your healing and personal growth. You’re likely to feel a strong connection to the unseen or mystical realms, and engaging in these areas can provide significant healing. There could be a natural affinity for helping others in quiet, behind-the-scenes ways, such as working in hospitals, spiritual centers, or charitable institutions.

This placement may indicate a need to confront deep-seated fears, unresolved emotional issues, or hidden parts of yourself that have been suppressed. Healing might come from understanding and integrating these aspects of your psyche, working through karmic patterns, or releasing past traumas. Your spiritual journey is one of self-discovery, compassion, and perhaps even surrender, allowing you to experience profound transformation through solitude and inner exploration.

[rainerioun]

𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖣𝖮𝖤𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖥𝖴𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖲𝖯𝖮𝖴𝖲𝖤 𝖫𝖮𝖮𝖪 𝖫𝖨𝖪𝖤? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hi! Apologies for being a bit inactive lately. Been tied up with stuff, but I'm back with a reading for you all! Today, we'll delve into what your future partner could look like. Remember, just take whatever resonates with you. This reading is more so about what sticks out to you when reading.

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : APRIL 26TH, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

Zodiac Dice Roll. — Virgo.

Your future partner likely has an oval face shape with a more narrow jawline and chin, contrasted by prominent cheekbones. They're likely to have a slender physique, though proportionate in any case.

Tarot. — Six of Swords.

They give off a moody or unassuming vibe, seeming as though they don't express much. Yet, they're quite proactive in changing their appearance, whether it's their style, hair, or even their athleticism. However, they'll always maintain that aloof, 'leave me out of it' demeanor.

Additional. Hermit — Light : Seeks solitude to focus intently on inner life. Serves personal creativity. Shadow : Withdraws from society out of fear or negative judgements of others. Refusing to help those in need.  Pioneer — Light : Passion for doing and creating what has not been done before. Shadow : Compulsive need to keep moving on.

As I mentioned earlier, they are constantly undergoing physical changes in some way. They have an introverted and withdrawn aura. They could let their hair grow out and become a bit scruffy before impulsively cutting it off. They maintain a rather deadpan expression when simply existing in their own world. The image of Edward Cullen specifically came to mind when pulling the cards.

Specifics. — Take What Feels Right. High Cheekbones, Heart Shaped Face, Pale Skin, Brown Eyes, Curly Hair, Cat Beauty, Honey Eyes, Thin Eyebrows.

Yes, very vampire allure-esque indeed. Their eyes could appear normally brown but take on a honey-like glow under certain lighting. Their eyes are quite striking, considering they have feline type features. Although hair color didn't come up during the reading, I pictured them with dark hair that complements their skin tone.

Apocalypse : Cigarettes After Sex.

PILE TWO

Zodiac Dice Roll. — Leo.

Of course, they possesses striking hair like a lion's mane—thick, unruly, perhaps even a bit frizzy, something that immediately catches one's eye, possibly long in length. Their eyes are equally intense, matching their strong jawline. They exude a fierce appearance that naturally draws attention, whether they seek it or not.

Tarot. — Four of Wands [Reversed].

Your future spouse might have a more mature-looking face compared to yours or for their age. They appear quite stressed, with heavy eyes and noticeable wrinkles, particularly around their eyes, such as crow's feet and frown lines.

This aspect also reflects in their demeanor. They might carry an air of disappointment, even if they don't necessarily feel that way—it's just a testament to what they've been through. They tend to go for neutrals in their clothing choices, not leaning towards vibrant styles. Despite appearing restless, they naturally possess an attractive charm.

Additional. Mystic — Light : Revels in intimate union with the Divine. Shadow : Delusional rapport with the Divine. 

They have a divine look to their appearance, regardless of their modest and simple attire or styling. There's a hint of mystique about them, but I feel it leans more towards a deity-like appearance rather than a witchy vibe. I imagine your future partner resembling a god/goddess, genuinely embodying timeless beauty.

Specifics. — Take What Feels Right. Below Average Height, Legs, Medium-Length Hair, Prominent Mouth, Broad Nose, Copper hair, Medium Skin.

Your future spouse has a complexion you'd deem as medium-toned. When it comes to their hair, I envision it falling somewhere between medium to long length. Though a single color came out, you could interpret it as having hints of orange or red tones instead. Their mouth is defined by sharp, pointed features, while their nose possesses a broad, perhaps even slightly downturned shape.

Bernadette : IAMX. | Lucky Drive : Sarah Kinsley. | Who Is She? : I Monster. [ I think these songs perfectly describe their vibe. ]

PILE THREE

Zodiac Dice Roll. — Aries.

Your future spouse has distinct/sharp, broad features with thick eyebrows framing their face. Freckles, beauty marks, or subtle scars might adorn their face, too. Their shoulders are broad and sturdy. They could be tinged with red in some way. It could be in their complexion with rosy cheeks, hair, eyes, or they just wear a lot of red. Despite a muscular build, they still have curves, whether it's slim hips and wider thighs or a smaller waist and broader hips.

Tarot. — Three of Wands [Reversed].

It seems they may have a serious RBF, often appearing quite frustrated or impatient. There's a strong and confident demeanor about them. When envisioning their build or expression, I see Rhea Ripley 100%.

Additional. Hero/Heroine — Light : Passion for a journey of personal empowerment. Shadow : Escapism and a false sense of heroism. 

When we typically imagine heroes, we picture them as polished and composed. However, behind the curtain, they bear the marks of their struggles, with visible signs of stress etched into their body. Your future partner will be this way. Peel back their layers, and you'll uncover scars, calluses, and an overall roughness.

Specifics. — Take What Feels Right. Gray Eyes, Hawk Nose, Thick Nose, Scars, Thighs, Neutral Tone, Square Shaped Face, Hands.

What did I say about scars? It popped up three times at this point. Their skin tone has a neutral undertone, not warm or cool. Their nose is large and hooked. And those gray eyes? Unwavering. You could simply like their thighs and hands specifically, or there's something significant about them.

Hey Sexy Lady : Shaggy. | Blood Sweat & Tears : BTS.

PILE FOUR

Zodiac Dice Roll. — Pisces.

Your future spouse has round, soft lips, with dewy skin and eyes shining with tenderness. They have a dreamy aura, perhaps lost in thought at times. Their hair may tend towards the finer side. I envision them as 'dainty' and clumsy.

Tarot. — Four of Wands [Reversed]. | The Star.

The Star card suits them perfectly. They radiate both warmth and serenity, their presence quite calming. This reflects in their appearance, with a lively step and a clear sense of purpose in all they do. They have a whimsical charm, very cute!

Additional. Child : Orphan — Light : Independence based on learning to go at it alone. Conquering fear of surviving. Shadow : Feelings of abandonment that stifle maturation. Seeking inappropriate surrogate families.

In terms of aesthetic, your future spouse has a more colorful style. They appear youthful without seeming childish, dressing without fear and staying true to themselves, free from judgment.

Specifics. — Take What Feels Right. Alternative, Sparse Eyebrows, Long Eyelashes, Waist, Slim, Small Eyes, Green Eyes, Bald, Masculine.

This aligns with what I was getting at. They definitely have an alternative style. Although the energy initially felt 'feminine,' masculine came out. So, I believe this person is deeply connected to both aspects. They might also identify as queer. And while they could actually be bald, I heard in it a joking tone, given their naturally thin hair.

The Shining : The Neighbourhood. | Confidence : Ocean Alley.

PILE FIVE

Zodiac Dice Roll. — Capricorn.

Your future spouse is somewhat lanky but has hidden strength, almost described as lithe. They carry an almost stern and steady gaze, radiating seriousness and maturity. Their bone structure is striking, too. Unlike typical Capricorns, they move with a deliberate slowness, calculated in their actions. They are an alluring person. — I forgot to add that they have nice teeth!

Tarot. — Knight of Pentacles [Reversed].

I picture your future spouse as having a disheveled and unkempt appearance, but in a somehow intentional and controllable manner—it's a bit hard to put into words. Think of someone like Hozier in terms of what I mean. They might give off a slightly lazy energy, dressing in loose-fitting clothes. I don't think they enjoy changing their appearance much and prefer to stick to the same style. I imagine they lean towards neutral or dark colors, something easy on the eyes.

Additional. Messiah — Light : Serving humanity with humility. Shadow : Exaggerated belief that you are the only means through which a cause can succeed. 

This person is confident, fully aware of their own charm. I envision them with darker skin and dark hair. If you're attracted to men, I imagine them having some form of facial hair, perhaps a beard.

Specifics. — Take What Feels Right. Eye Bags, Light Freckles, Prominent Nose, Full Lips, Short Hair, Dark Skin, Olive Skin, Monotone Voice, Puppy-Dog Eyes, Brown Hair.

I think your future spouse aims for that bad boy vibe but doesn't quite nail it. They naturally give off that vibe, but they try a bit too hard to make it obvious. Perhaps they have freckles that become more visible in the summer or are barely noticeable. They aren't very expressive with their voice, but their eyes more than compensate for it, being a bit pouty, too. As for their hair, while I initially pictured it as long, it likely varies based on personal preference since short hair came out. Generally, they have a darker appearance overall.

Beautiful Is Boring : BONES UK. | Judas : Lady Gaga. | Too Sweet : Hozier.

PILE SIX

Zodiac Dice Roll. — Sagittarius.

Your future spouse has a wider face and a welcoming, cheerful demeanor. I see them with a cute button nose, sparkling eyes, and a pretty smile. They are bubbly and curious, with chubby cheeks and a curvier frame. Their expression reminds me of Armin Arlert. AHHH, I LOVE ARMIN! I HAD TO BRING HIM UP. T-T

Tarot. — Ace of swords [Reversed].

This person tends to get easily distracted, often appearing spaced out. Their appearance mirrors their emotions, reflecting whatever they're feeling that day. They're not one to settle on a particular style, constantly changing their look.

Additional. Shape-Shifter — Light : Skill at navigating through different levels of consciousness. Ability to see the potential in everything. Shadow : Projecting any image that serves your personal agenda in the moment. 

Yeah, they seem like a real shape-shifter. Always evolving, whether it's their physical appearance or their mindset. One day they might be all about frills and pastels, and the next they're wearing dark, sleek attire.

Specifics. — Take What Feels Right. Hazel Eyes, Button Nose, Tattoos, Neutral Tone, Fingers, Freckles, Hips, Round Shaped Face, Slim Nose.

It's kind of spooky how tarot readings can be so consistently on point with their messages. Hazel eyes were mentioned, but even if not, they have lighter eyes. They might have tattoos, but I'm not sure of what. You might find yourself drawn to their fingers or hips. I envision them as more heavy-set.

Primadonna : MARINA. | Paris, Texas : Lana Del Rey. | Black Friday : Tom Odell.

[uchizana]

CHORDS OF LOVE

synopsis: during an unexpected storm that traps you and karina, the talented guitarist of aespa, alone in the studio, she decides it’s time to stop hiding her heart. with the rest of the band away seeking dinner, the atmosphere crackles with the potential for confession. as the wind howls outside, will karina's brave revelation about her long-standing crush bring the two of you closer, or will fear of breaking the band’s sacred harmony send her heart spiraling into uncertainty?

pairing: rockstar!karina x bandmate!fem reader

warnings: kissing, none more that I know of

word count: 2.7k

— english isn't my first language so sorry if there are any grammar mistakes.

aespa masterlist.

jimin lets out a sigh of frustration, letting the pen fall free from the grip of her fingers, landing on the worn leather of the notebook. the pages are overwhelmed with half-formed lyrics, doodles of hearts and stars, and errant thoughts. it’s all a chaotic testament to her inner turmoil, a reflection of the pressure she feels to deliver yet another brilliant album. she drops her body abruptly onto the swivel chair, causing her to squeal at the sudden force, a sound that slices through the silence of the studio.

what was going on? well, jimin was trying to write a song for the next album of the rock band she was in—the band you were also a part of, and not just a member, but the very heart of its musical identity. it was complicated enough that the last few weeks had seen her pacing frantically when she wasn’t teetering on the edge of frustration.

the impossible task looms larger every moment, each hollow space on the page amplifying her every doubt. twelve songs, twelve distinct messages, and she still has nothing but crossed out words and half-formed melodies that refuse to budge from the intricacies of her mind

“hey! you okay?” comes a voice from behind her.

it’s aeri, her sandy-blonde hair falling over her face as she leans against the door frame, followed closely by minjeong and yizhuo, both of whom wear playful smiles. they giggle like schoolgirls as they watch her theatrical outburst, a wave of warmth washing over jimin despite her frustration.

“what was that for?” yizhuo laughs, her eyes sparkling.

“just trying to summon some creativity over here,” jimin groans, throwing her head back dramatically.

just then, a deep rumble of thunder rolls through the air, pulling her from her reverie. she jumps slightly in her seat, feeling the giggles of her bandmates filter into the little bubble of her frustration. aeri, with her ever-gleeful spirit; minjeong, always the pragmatist; and yizhuo, who somehow always finds the light in the chaos. they share a laugh at her expense, teasing her about how a mere thunderclap was enough to shatter her precious concentration. the light-heartedness brings a slight grin to her face, easing the tight knot forming in her chest.

“jimin,” aeri says playfully, “you look like the world’s weight is on your shoulders. relax a little. we have plenty of time before we need to head into the studio to record anyway.” the sincerity in her voice softens the ribbing, a reminder to jimin that she doesn’t have to shoulder this burden alone.

the thunder doesn’t just signal a storm outside; it mirrors the tempest within her. “i swear, these lyrics are just not coming together,” she admits, the words creeping out reluctantly. they mean more than just her struggles with songwriting—they seep into her personal thoughts.

“we didn't realize we were dealing with a diva here!” yizhuo jumps in, her voice light and cheerful as she shimmies her thin jacket over her shoulders. “relax, jimin. you’re going to burn yourself out. we have time before any of it matters.”

jimin scowls playfully but the laughter helps buoy her spirits. “you’re all just lucky i didn’t throw something at you,” she retorts with mock irritation.

“seriously though, don’t stress too much,” aeri advises, her expression more earnest now. “we have plenty of time before recordings. you don’t want to wear yourself out before we even get to the fun part!”

they all know how much it means to her—the thrill of performing together, the rush of being in front of their fans, the electricity in the air during their concerts. but right now, it’s hard to remember that. right now, it’s just the empty pages and the untamed notes swirling in her mind.

as the three of them discuss dinner plans, jimin shifts her gaze back to her notebook. the messy letters seem to mock her. she stares at the crossed-out lines, the hints of torn pages—a chaotic representation of her tangled thoughts. then she hears the unmistakable sound of jackets being zipped up, and her heart beats faster.

“what are you doing?” jimin asks, a hint of desperation threading through her tone as her eyes dart between them.

"we’re going out for dinner! we can’t just live on snacks while we’re working in the studio," yizhuo said, rolling her eyes as if it were the most obvious thing.

“we’re off to grab something to eat. something good, and then we’ll come back and keep working,” aeri ads, and you can see the kindness shining in her eyes. “you need a break, jimin. fresh air and a good meal might be just what you need.”

jimin watches as they exchange conspiratorial glances. just then, her eyes drift across the room and land on you, nestled comfortably in the corner of the couch. you haven’t moved to grab your coat despite the playful teasing. you’re her bandmate, the composer who has been behind the production of all the band’s musical hits, and the group’s guitarist—a presence that sends both comfort and confusion coursing through her.

your brow is furrowed slightly as you focus on your guitar. the twilight light reflects in your eyes, making it impossible for jimin to ignore the way her heart leaps just at the sight of you. there is something captivating, magnetic, in the way you lose yourself in the music, translating emotions into notes as you’ve always done.

and that’s the problem. over time, that admiration has turned into something else—something more profound. a crush that runs deeper than a passing fling or a drunken kiss. it’s the kind of affection that makes her chest ache when you smile, the kind that sets her pulse racing whenever you laugh.

“hey, you coming with us?” minjeong asks, breaking her reverie.

you look up from your guitar, a faint smile revealing a tenderness that tugs at jimin’s heartstrings. “i’ve got a few more things to work on, so I’ll stay here for now,” you say, your voice low and soothing.

jimin feels a rush of disappointment. she wants to invite you to join them, to share a meal and a moment outside this studio bubble that has kept them all locked in a creative frenzy.

“are you sure?” she asks, an urge swallowing her hesitation. “we could really use more brains. i mean, the sky might just help us to stir some creativity, right? plus, i’ve decided to try a new place that serves the best pasta in town!”

you chuckle softly, a sound she could listen to forever. “pasta sounds good, but i really need to sort out these lyrics before i can think of anything else.” your eyes dart back to the guitar strings in a way that makes her want to scream in frustration.

she watches you for a moment, the weight of her feelings hovering between them. the unspoken connection thickens in the air, but it’s the fog of uncertainty that keeps her immobile. how would you react if she confessed that her admiration had blossomed into something stronger? that every fleeting touch during practice ignited sparks that lingered for far too long?

“alright then, we’ll be back soon,” aeri interjects, clapping her hands together. “when we come back, you better be done with that song, or i’ll be taking that guitar from you!”

as the door swings shut behind them, silence envelops the room, leaving you alone with the sound of the rain trickling against the window, the storm still raging outside.

and then—there it is—this longing that has previously felt muted begins to pulse stronger. jimin's focus on her songs often distracts her from what lies just beneath the surface, a connection built on years of shared laughter, tears, and unspoken words. watching her struggle, you decide to take a risk, to bridge the gap widening between you both.

you rise from the couch, guitar in hand, and move toward her desk. the sight of the crumpled notes makes your heart ache for her, knowing she isn’t just creating music; she’s trying to carve out her place in the world.

jimin rubs her forehead and sighs, an audible sound of frustration escaping her lips. the tension in the room grows thicker; the air feels electric, charged with unspoken words and lingering glances.

“can't seem to get the right words out,” she mutters, her pen tapping against the page in irritation. you’ve been cooped up in this studio all afternoon, trying to piece together something worthwhile for the next album, but every sentence that flows from her pen seems to vanish into the void of her mind.

“ugh, i can’t think of anything!” she finally exclaims, tossing the pencil aside in frustration. it clatters to the floor, breaking the spell of quiet. leaning back on the chair, she tilts her head, exposing her delicate neck. the curve of her jaw catches the light just so, and for a moment, you forget about the music.

“why not try writing something about desire?” you suggest, your voice steady despite the flutter that ignites in your chest. it’s an idea that’s been bubbling in your mind since the last time you two shared that knowing glance, that electric chemistry lurking just under the surface. “you know, something forbidden?”

“desire…” she repeats, rolling the word across her tongue like a sweet melody. “that could be something.”

you nod, emboldened by the thought of igniting that spark. “yeah. something raw, something real—like secrets we keep or...”

“or that lingering touch we dare not explore?” jimin finishes for you, her gaze piercing through the dim light. there's a challenging tone in her voice, teasing and serious all at once, stirring something primal inside you.

“exactly,” you say, your heart pounding in rhythm with the notes you play. the tempo quickens, matching the beat of your thoughts. you’re both living in a world of unspoken possibilities, and suddenly, it feels like the walls of the studio are closing in, trapping you in this moment.

you set your guitar aside, the faint sound of strings vibrating mingling with the quietness of the room. the soft sound echoes like a heartbeat between you, creating a momentary pause where the world outside fades away.

“what do you know about desire?” she challenges playfully, a teasing smile breaking her earlier frustration. it’s a question that feels loaded as your chest tightens; you’ve known her long enough to recognize the weight behind her words. you can tell she’s not merely asking about the general concept.

“oh, i know a thing or two,” you reply, forcing a chuckle, though the truth is that you’re acutely aware of your own frustrations—of the yearning that’s been building each time you share a moment with her. each chord you strum, every late-night practice, has only made you more aware of how intoxicating she is, how your affection for her swells when you least expect it.

“like what?” she asks, leaning back the chair, her body subconsciously inching closer as if drawn to you. the light dimming, stripping away the outside world, leaves only the two of you.

you shrug, trying to mask the magnetic pull you feel toward her. “desire is…” you start, and the words spill forth unbidden. “it’s wanting something that feels out of reach, something you can’t have. it stirs up excitement and fear all at once.”

you take a breath and lean forward, resting the guitar on your knee, your fingers practically itching for more than just strings. “what if we wrote a song about—” you hesitate, the weight of your words anchoring the air around you, “—about the tension between... two people who want more than what they’re allowed to have?”

jimin's eyes shine with a spark that mirrors your own feelings. “you mean like us?” her voice is barely above a whisper, the question hanging uncomfortably yet intoxicatingly between you.

a pulse of vulnerability courses through your veins, and you search her face for signs, for permission, for something you hope desperately isn’t just a figment of your imagination. “maybe,” you manage, your throat dry as sand.

with a slight tilt of her head, jimin's expression morphs, shifting from playful to something softer, more sincere. “what if...” she trails off, glancing down at her notebook, biting her lip. “what if we expressed that desire? what if we were brave enough to put it into words?”

the silence stretches, thick with anticipation. you both know the unvoiced truth as well as you know every chord on your guitar. you’re no longer just bandmates; you’re two souls on the precipice of deeper connection, caught between friendship and something intoxicatingly new, dangerously thrilling.

“then we should be brave,” you say softly, inching closer on the carpet. the air thickens, charged with an energy you can almost taste. “just like the music we create.”

the silence that follows is charged, both of you holding your breath while the world spins outside your bubble. you can’t help but notice how her gaze flickers between your eyes and your lips, a magnetic pull mirrored in your own gaze as you take in every feature that makes her jimin—her tousled hair, the glint of determination in her eyes, those lips that seem to provoke a longing you didn’t know was possible.

you lean forward instinctively, drawn like gravity. “what if we…” you murmur, but you don’t quite finish the sentence. instead, your heart races ahead of your mind, and you find yourself inching closer, the distance collapsing between you.

just then, jimin's breath quickens; she takes a sharp inhale that slices through the electrically charged atmosphere. her eyes widen a fraction, and in her gaze, you see an invitation strung between confusion and that intoxicating desire.

slowly, jimin leans forward, eyes locking onto yours. there’s a shift in the atmosphere, an understanding that dances in the silence—an unbreakable thread tethering you to this moment. and then, in a heartbeat, the distance collapses.

your lips meet, tentative and ignited by the electricity pulsing between you. the kiss is soft at first, exploratory, as if you are both testing the waters of this new territory. it’s warm and lingering, sending shockwaves through your body. there’s a hunger, a desperate need to explore the intimacy that’s always been lurking beneath the surface of your friendship.

as you deepen the kiss, time seems to lose all meaning. the world outside the studio fades away; it’s just you and jimin—everything you’ve ever wanted. every secret glance shared during practice, every lingering touch of fingers in an accidental brush, all the pent-up emotions spill over. her hands find their way to your hair as yours cradle her face, and the kiss transforms, blooming into something fierce and intoxicating.

the kiss feels forbidden, electric—a culmination of all the moments you’ve shared, the chemistry that had always clouded your interactions. everything that had remained unspoken now dances into the open, painting the walls of the studio with a vivid hue of realization.

moments stretch into infinity, lost in the rhythm of each other’s breathing and the distant echo of the life outside the studio. when you finally pull away, foreheads resting together, both of you are breathless, hearts racing as you hold onto this fragile moment of truth.

“wow,” she breathes, laughter bubbling at the edges of her words. there’s a mix of disbelief and wonder in her gaze, and you can’t help but smile.

“i guess that’s one way to write a song about desire,” you murmur, teasing as you catch your breath.

jimin chuckles, her cheeks flushed, and for a moment, the weight of the world falls away, leaving only lightness and possibility. “let’s make it a good one then,” she agrees, eyes sparkling, and you both know that this is just the beginning.

as you sink back into the rhythm ,,,,,,,of creativity, the lines of your collaboration shift and blend. this time, though, it’s filled with a beautiful new tension, a music born from uncharted desires that will carry you through the creation of a masterpiece—together. and maybe, just maybe, what started in this studio would reverberate far beyond the notes, echoing through the very hearts of your songs to come.

[zzencat]

How To Energetically Get The Most Out Of Your School/Work Life - ⏳

Since we’re getting into the groove of things…let’s gaur!!!! For entertainment purposes.

From left to right. Breathe and choose the one(s) you can't keep your eyes off of.

TO ENHANCE ACCURACY BEFORE CHOOSING: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.

Pile 1 | boomer mentality?

• change your ways. Bad habits, weak ways of thinking- sure, it’s uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. Success is uncomfortable (I’m pretty sure someone super famous said that once maybe someone should remind me- 🤔) . You’ll find that if you look at things from a new perspective, a new angle, it’ll be beneficial for you in the long run. Just like looking at stress in a good way- there are studies on it that show that if you look at stress in a more positive way and use it to your advantage, you could really stretch out your life and live longer than those who were pessimistic about it (lol fun fact for you)

if you let go of the old, your luck will change. embrace these new changes, beliefs, environments, and people.

don’t keep your time and resources to yourself. allow for self reflection and transformations to happen!

big focus: don’t let history repeat itself. it’s time for a change! let go and let in.

—————————

Pile 2 | feeling stuck or stagnant

• pile 2, you tend to overthink everything. You let your mind run its course. That ain’t good news. It prevents you from reaching new heights- prevents you from even starting on something, just because of fear or even roots of perfectionism. There’s a huge lack of motivation, confidence, and trust in yourself- so much that even when I was pulling your cards they were hesitant to come out. it feels like russian roulette but it’s firing on its own. some people here might tend to overreact/throw a tantrum as well or be immature in situations that need sensibility (in this case, ya gotta take this time to mature.)

• I feel this group has trouble with balance in general. Nothing wrong with that on occasion but if that’s your default setting and you’re stuck in your mind all day, wondering about this and that—just a crazy clash of thoughts and ideas—ruminating and running around in a vicious cycle full of mental bullshit then it’s gonna stop you. It’s gonna stop you from growth, from achieving things, from getting started, from living life normally. That’s the bare minimum, isn’t it? All we gotta do is breathe and when life makes it hard, the brain works harder. The mind is truly the most dangerous thing and you have to embrace it, marinate in it, and pick at it. find out where the balance is between intuition, logic, and emotion.

you might feel restricted and the need to break free, but what you also need is a breather to calm down and assess yourself before making decisions. rmr, deep breaths.

•Do your own research, form your own opinions, figure out who you are, how you operate, and what you want in life. That’s how you begin to build character. That’s how you can move forward, even if it’s little by little. (A more stable foundation comes outta that too.)

big focus: practice self control. when they say “lead with your head,” they really mean the control center of logic, intuition, and emotion…but who’s doing more of the controlling here, you or your mind?

——————————

Pile 3 | “how could I miss that?”

• What you need to focus on is slowing down. it’s easy to miss things when we’re busy or taking on a lot of responsibilities. give yourself some love and care—tend to those inner callings. It’s good for your mental health as well. Remember: mental becomes physical.

• put yourself first for once. Connect with yourself and loved ones- go on one of them self dates- Yessir those exist 😳

• pile 3, you are easily the most efficient and speedy group- cards were legit being shuffled like they were being handled like a pro- but you know the con of that? You miss all the moments you could’ve had with friends, lovers, family. Yourself. You get to miss all the details because things are going too fast pow pow pow one after the other until it piles up and then you end up beating yourself up for small and simple mistakes…calm down and adjust yourself. You will be okay.

• I’m telling you fam- TAKE BREAKS. Give yourself moments to relax and rejuvenate before you push yourself!! You put too much pressure on yourself as it is

• connect with your inner feminine energy when you have the time—you gotta MAKE that time for yourself

• don’t be so neglectful in your relationships btw! Romantic, platonic, familial, wtv- learn how to manage your time so that you can separate work and assignments with social relations. Keep that communication up!! This includes your inner and outer voice. Reflect and acknowledge how you feel.

big focus: be more open minded to making new connections! spend more time with others. you’ll find emotional happiness and fulfillment in it :)

————————————

Ending Teddy note:

Hello hollywood people 😎 it has been a long minute! thank you for taking the time to read through this—YOU ARE AWESOME!!! Always remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! I’ll cya fam ciao :)

[bijoutarot]

Your Next Big Decision ✨

Pick an Image ✨💕

Image 1

The Path of Clarity

Reading:

You stand at a crossroads, your intuition pulling you in one direction while your mind tries to map out all the "what-ifs." The decision ahead is clear but you might be hesitating, unsure of the steps to take. Trust that clarity is on its way. Sometimes the most difficult decisions are the ones that bring the most profound growth. Take a deep breath and allow the answer to surface within you. The right path is the one that feels aligned with your core values and your authentic self.

Affirmation:

"I trust my intuition to guide me toward the right decision. Clarity is unfolding within me."

What is one thing you feel uncertain about right now, and how are you navigating that uncertainty?

Image 2

The Path of Patience

Reading:

The journey you’re about to embark on requires more patience than you anticipated. The decision before you is not one that needs to be rushed, but one that requires time to unfold. Trust the process and allow things to evolve naturally. You may not have all the answers today, and that's okay. Sometimes, waiting is an act of wisdom. Take time to observe, reflect, and let the right decision come to you with clarity and confidence.

Affirmation:

"I honor the pace of my journey. I trust that everything will unfold at the perfect time."

How do you practice patience in your decision-making process? Do you prefer to act quickly, or do you wait for things to feel right?

Image 3

The Path of Courage

Reading:

A sense of fear might be holding you back from making your next big decision, but remember that courage is not the absence of fear—it’s the willingness to move forward despite it. This moment calls for you to take a leap of faith, to trust that you are supported in ways you may not fully see yet. The risk is great, but so is the reward. Step forward boldly; the universe is ready to catch you.

Affirmation:

"I am courageous and capable of making bold decisions. I trust that I am supported in every step I take."

What fear do you need to overcome in order to move forward with your decision? How do you stay brave in the face of uncertainty?

Image 4

The Path of Wisdom

Reading:

Your next big decision isn’t just about what feels good right now—it’s about aligning with your long-term vision. You have the wisdom to know what is in your best interest. Trust your experience, and let your past lessons guide you. The path ahead may look challenging, but you are more equipped than you realize. This is the moment to trust your inner wisdom and make a choice that honors your true potential.

Affirmation:

"I am guided by my inner wisdom. I trust that the best decision for my growth will reveal itself."

What past experiences have shaped your decision-making process? How do you draw from your personal wisdom when faced with tough choices?

[soulofapatrick]

Sheltered by Love - Evan Buckley x Male Reader

Summary: You still have nightmares months after Buck died and came back from the lighting strike

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: none really

Y/N's POV

As the storm rumbled outside, the firehouse seemed to vibrate with each distant boom of thunder. In the dimly lit bunkroom, the rhythmic breathing of sleeping firefighters fills the air, the B shift getting as much rest as they can before they’re needed. I’m only among them as Bobby, Captain of the 118, sent me to try and get some sleep before the next call so I had settled into a restless nap, exhaustion finally catching up with me after a long shift.

But as the storm intensified, my dreams twist into something far more sinister. I found yourself standing in the midst of chaos, surrounded by flashing lights and deafening sirens. And there, at the centre of it all, was Buck—his vibrant smile replaced by a look of shock as a bolt of lightning strikes him down again. 

The jolt of waking up is abrupt as the lighting strikes Buck, my heart hammering in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins as the memory of the vision lingers, haunting me. With trembling hands, I push myself upright in the cot, sweat-soaked sheets clinging to my skin. Ignoring the fatigue that weighs heavy on my limbs, I’m stumbling out the bunkroom, feet fumbling against the cool floor in my boots. The storm outside mirrors the turmoil within me, each clap of thunder echoing the panic rising in my chest. 

The firehouse feels like a labyrinth as I stumble through its corridors, my heart pounding in my chest with each step. The storm outside seems to intensify, matching the turmoil within me, as if nature itself is reflecting my inner chaos. Hen finds me first, her presence a grounding force in the midst of my panic. 

She presses a gentle hand to my forehead, concern etched in her features as she tries to coax me back to bed. But I can't relent, not when the memory of Buck's vulnerable form still lingers in my mind, haunting me with its stark reality. I struggle against her, my voice trembling as I insist that I need to find Buck.

Embarrassing tears sting my eyes as I plead with her, my desperation laid bare for all to see. Hen's expression softens, understanding dawning in her eyes as she realises the depth of my fear. With a comforting touch, she leads me up the stairs to the kitchen area where Buck and Eddie are seated in the two armchairs, deep in conversation.

Relief floods through me at the sight of Buck, his presence a balm to my frayed nerves. But as I approach, my steps falter, uncertainty gnawing at my resolve. Will he understand the depth of my fear, the way his near miss has shaken me to the core? 

Hen's reassuring hand on my shoulder is all the encouragement I need. With a shaky breath, I step forward, my eyes meeting Buck's with a mixture of relief and vulnerability.

“B-Buck," I manage, my voice barely above a whisper. He looks up from his conversation with Eddie, concern furrowing his brow as he takes in my disheveled appearance.

"Hey, what's going on?" he asks, his voice gentle but filled with genuine concern.

As I stand before Buck, my heart racing with a mixture of fear and longing, he reaches out with a gentle yet firm hand, pulling me down onto his lap. The suddenness of the movement catches me off guard, but before I can protest or even react, I find myself cradled against his chest, his warmth enveloping me like a protective cocoon.

His concerned gaze meets mine, brows furrowed in genuine worry as he takes in my disheveled appearance. "Hey, what's going on?" His voice is soft, filled with a tenderness that sends a shiver down my spine as he asks again.

I struggle to find my voice, to articulate the jumble of emotions swirling within me. But as I gaze into his eyes, the words seem to evaporate, leaving only a raw vulnerability in their wake. Without waiting for a response, Buck wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer as if sensing the depths of my turmoil. I sink against him, my body moulded to his like pieces of a puzzle fitting seamlessly together.

The warmth of his embrace seeps into my bones, banishing the chill of uncertainty that had gripped me moments before. My palm instinctively presses against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my fingertips. In that intimate moment, there's no room for pretence or hesitation. It's just Buck and me, united in our shared vulnerability, our unspoken desires simmering beneath the surface. 

And as he rubs soothing circles on my back, I can't help but wonder if he feels the same magnetic pull that I do, the unspoken connection that binds us together in moments of crisis. 

"The lightning," I choke out, the words tumbling from my lips in a rush, my voice barely above a whisper. Buck's surprised sound sends a jolt of embarrassment through me, amplified by Eddie's studious gaze. I bury my face in the crook of Buck's neck, wishing I could disappear into the safety of his embrace.But instead of recoiling, Buck covers the hand pressed against his chest with his own, pressing it firmer against his heartbeat. The gesture is both comforting and intimate, sending a shiver down my spine as I feel the warmth of his touch seep into my skin.

Eddie clears his throat, breaking the tense silence that hangs between us. "I, uh, think I left something in the truck," he says hastily, his eyes flickering between Buck and me. "Hen, want to give me a hand?” 

Hen nods, shooting me a sympathetic glance before following Eddie out of the room. Alone at last, Buck turns his attention back to me, his expression soft with concern and something more. 

With gentle hands, he manoeuvres me until I'm straddling his waist, his warmth seeping into every fibre of my being. His touch is electric, sending sparks dancing across my skin as his thumb soothes over my cheek. 

Every instinct in me screams to hide, to retreat into the safety of my own thoughts and emotions. But as I feel Buck's steady gaze on me, a flicker of determination ignites within me. I force myself to meet his eyes, willing him to see the depth of my feelings, the longing that simmers beneath the surface.

And as if sensing my silent plea, Buck moves his fingers to hook under my chin, drawing me closer until our lips are just inches apart. The anticipation crackles in the air between us, palpable and electric, as he leans in to capture my lips in a soft, tentative kiss. 

In that moment, everything falls into place. The warmth of his embrace, the tender caress of his lips against mine—it all feels so right, so achingly familiar. And as we melt into each other, the outside world fades into insignificance, leaving only the two of us, bound together by an unspoken promise of love and understanding.

As we pull away from the kiss, our hearts beating as one, Buck's arms wrap around me in a tight, protective embrace. The warmth of his body against mine sends a shiver of contentment down my spine, and I find myself melting into his embrace, lost in the comfort of his touch.

"I'm here," he murmurs against my ear, his breath warm and soothing against my skin. "I'll always be here for you.” His words are like a lifeline in the storm, grounding me in the present moment and banishing the ghosts of doubt that still linger in the corners of my mind. With him, I feel safe, cherished, and wholly loved. 

As the thunder continues to rumble outside, a symphony of nature's fury, Buck's presence is the calm at the centre of the storm. He holds me close, rocking me gently in his arms, the rhythm of his movements a lullaby that soothes me back into the gentle embrace of sleep. With each sway, each comforting murmur, I feel myself drifting further and further into a blissful oblivion, the worries of the world fading away until there is nothing left but the two of us, bound together by an unspoken promise of love and understanding.

And as I finally succumb to the embrace of sleep, cradled in Buck's arms, I know that no matter what challenges may lie ahead, we'll face them together, hand in hand, hearts entwined in a love that knows no bounds. 

911 Masterlist TAG LIST - updated 21st Dec 2023

[deesseshesca]

PAC : How can you appreciate your body ?

I want to give you a hug ...

Good evening pretty soul ! I am so excited ... IS OFFICIALLY KINKTOBER ! DAY : 13-14

You want to have a sneak peak into my readings (for 2.22$), you can join my Chérie d'Amour (soul tribe)

SEX Doula =SALE READING

PILE 1

To appreciate your body more, begin by recognizing that the discomfort or doubts you're feeling are temporary. You’re not stuck, and by embracing the natural changes that come with life, you can start to see yourself with fresh eyes.

Use your inner wisdom to see through the insecurities that cloud your view. You’re sharp, perceptive, and capable of cutting through negative thoughts. Just as you respect your mind, show the same respect to your body. It deserves appreciation for its strength and uniqueness.

The habits or thoughts that have held you back are loosening their grip. This is your chance to free yourself from those old patterns, to accept your body in a way that liberates you. When you let go of that baggage, you’ll create space for something new—a healthy and loving connection with yourself.

Someone is about to enter your life, and this new relationship will reflect the love and acceptance you’re starting to cultivate within yourself. By embracing your body, you're preparing yourself for the affection and admiration that are headed your way.

💌 : Dear Chérie d'Amour, if you wanna to UNLOCK your sexual potential you can always join ''CHÉRIE D'AMOUR'' for only 2.22$/month you have access to audio pac, extended writing pac, collective pac. A place where we can build our little community. This week pac is : How can you give yourself self love in a sexual setting ?

PILE 2

To truly appreciate your body, start by giving yourself the kindness and care you deserve. You’ve likely been giving so much of yourself, but it's important to receive that love, too. This means recognizing your worth and treating yourself with the same generosity you give to others.

Right now, you’re holding on to past trauma, and it’s keeping you stuck. The trust issues you carry are impacting your relationship, but they come from old wounds, not from what’s happening in the present. Accusing your partner of things without proof isn’t helping; it’s only creating distance. You’ve been through a lot, and it's understandable that trust is hard for you, but by holding on to those fears, you're adding weight to the relationship that isn’t necessary.

You’re nurturing and strong, but it's important to nurture yourself, too. Give yourself permission to release the need for control or suspicion. When you stop letting your fears guide you, you’ll notice how much lighter things become. Your partner has shown you that they’re not doing the things you're afraid of, but until you trust yourself and the love in your relationship, these fears will keep resurfacing.

It’s time to slow down, reflect, and understand that your partner isn’t your past. The more you focus on healing and trusting, the more your relationship will thrive. By appreciating your body, you'll start to ground yourself in the present, letting go of those old habits that are no longer serving you. This will give both you and your partner the space to grow and love each other in a healthier way.

💌 : Dear Chérie d'Amour, if you wanna to UNLOCK your sexual potential you can always join ''CHÉRIE D'AMOUR'' for only 2.22$/month you have access to audio pac, extended writing pac, collective pac. A place where we can build our little community. This week pac is : How can you give yourself self love in a sexual setting ?

PILE 3

Okay, here’s the deal: to appreciate your body more, you need to stop thinking you're stuck in a cycle of feeling bad about it. That feeling? It’s temporary. Your body is always changing, and so can your thoughts about it.

You’re smart, and you know better than to keep being hard on yourself. It’s time to see your body the way you see your mind—strong and worth respecting. Don’t let your own negative thoughts drag you down.

Those old habits that made you doubt yourself? They're starting to fade. You're ready to let go of them and embrace your body for the amazing thing it is.

Once you do that, things will start falling into place. The universe has good things in store for you, but you need to clear out the doubts first. And guess what? There’s someone great coming into your life soon. By loving and accepting your body now, you’re making space for all the good things waiting for you.

💌 : Dear Chérie d'Amour, if you wanna to UNLOCK your sexual potential you can always join ''CHÉRIE D'AMOUR'' for only 2.22$/month you have access to audio pac, extended writing pac, collective pac. A place where we can build our little community. This week pac is : How can you give yourself self love in a sexual setting ?

[olvxva]

unspoken flames pt. II | joost klein x f!reader

part I

✦ wc: 3.2 k

✦ warnings: rpf!, angst, crying, nudity but nothing really descriptive, two fools finally sorting their shit out

✦ summary: no contact with Joost for weeks broke your heart. but maybe not all is lost?

✦ an: i had to use my inspiration and free time, so i guess it went pretty quickly lmao, enjoy <3

that night, when Joost closed the door to your apartment behind him, something inside you broke. maybe it was your heart, or maybe it was just your inner self that was torn in half after the blonde took a part of you with him, a part you couldn’t get back. that night, you didn’t sleep a wink. not the next night, nor the one after that.

the quiet sobs were the only thing that could be heard from your lips, as if all the pain you had been holding in finally found its release. the tears, which seemed endless, were only an attempt at relief that never came. you felt empty, alone, and yet, as if you had no right to feel this way, as if you were deceiving yourself.

Joost didn’t say a word. days passed and you sat in your silence, which was like an endless abyss. somewhere deep in your soul, you held a quiet hope that maybe he had changed his mind, that he regretted it. naively, you waited for even a single message, a single word. just one sign that you weren’t alone in this. but nothing came. the phone stayed silent and Joost seemed to have vanished.

it was pure torture. every corner of your apartment reminded you of your shared moments, as if every object, every detail, was a witness to your presence. no matter where you looked, in your mind’s eye, you only saw him - his smile, his gaze, his touch. in every silence, his laugh echoed, in every corner of the apartment, you still felt the warmth of his presence.

your thoughts kept returning to him, even though you tried to push them away. you kept searching for him, though you knew he wasn’t around anymore. every attempt to forget became harder, and with each moment you gazed at the empty spot where he used to be, your heart broke even more.

sitting curled up on the windowsill in the living room, you watched the crowded street outside. the world beyond the glass seemed to live to its own rhythm, completely oblivious to the storm inside you. people walked past each other, talking, laughing, but you felt completely disconnected from all of it.

five weeks had passed since that fateful night. five weeks with no contact. it hurt a little less now, but it still hurt too much. you still felt like you were standing still, stuck in a deadlock where each day was just a reflection of the one before.

the world moved forward as if nothing had happened, while you remained in place, trying to accept that nothing would ever be the same. from the flood of thoughts that once again began to gather above you like dark clouds, you were pulled by the sound of an incoming notification. before you could react, your heart skipped a beat. you reached for your phone nearby and tapped the notification that had popped up. as you saw the message, your heart instantly sank in your chest.

Joost: we need to talk.

one short sentence that in that moment turned your world upside down. you immediately felt a wave of emotions crash over you - fear, anger, sadness, and maybe even hope, though you weren't sure if you should trust it.

you flipped your phone in your hands, feeling the weight of the decision that now stood before you. your mind was swirling with conflicting thoughts. you knew you couldn’t ignore him. after everything, after he’d kept you in uncertainty for so long, you couldn’t just leave this without an explanation.

why now? why so suddenly? those were the questions you couldn’t come up with a reasonable answer to. so much had changed in the weeks that had passed, and though you tried to keep your emotions in check, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something inside you had died. maybe it was the end, maybe not, but what had happened would stay with you forever.

could "what was meant to be" still exist after all of this? you took a deep breath, closing your eyes, trying to gather your thoughts. you felt the unease in your body growing, as if waiting for something that couldn’t be stopped anymore.

me: where and when?

sending the message took you barely a second, but it felt like time slowed down in your head. the phone stayed in your hand, and you stared at the screen, waiting for a reply. each second dragged on endlessly, as if the world was deliberately holding its breath, playing with your patience. after a moment, the screen lit up with a notification, and you quickly read the message.

Joost: my place in an hour, i’ll be waiting.

the words were simple, almost devoid of emotion. you stared at the text, analyzing it as if your life depended on it. i'll be waiting. those words echoed in your mind.

without further hesitation, you stood up and decided to prepare. your movements were automatic, almost mechanical, as if your body had taken control of your mind. you opened the closet and began sifting through your clothes, trying to pick something appropriate - something that wouldn’t betray the chaos inside you but also wouldn’t look too indifferent. every little detail, every decision seemed bigger than it really was.

you were afraid of this meeting. part of you - the hurt and disappointed part - would have preferred Joost to remain a memory, distant and unreal. but there was also the other part, the more stubborn and emotional one, still yearning for his voice, for the way he looked at you, as if he saw something in you that you couldn’t see yourself. it was that part of you that pushed you forward, forcing you to grab a jacket from the closet and reach for the keys.

the walk to his apartment passed unusually quickly, almost too quickly, as if time was mocking you, shortening every second you could have used to gather your thoughts. the cold evening air wrapping around you didn’t help much either. your hands were damp with nerves, and your heart was pounding so loudly that you feared someone on the street might hear it.

you tried to organize your thoughts, the words you wanted to say, but instead, your mind kept circling around what could have happened.

before you knew it, you were already standing in front of his door. you stared at the gleaming number 12 hanging on the door, one you’d seen so many times before. you felt your hands tremble slightly, and your chest rose unevenly with every difficult breath. you slowly raised your hand, ready to knock. a thousand thoughts raced through your mind - what if he wasn’t alone? what if this meeting ended in even more pain?

finally, your knuckles met the wood, making a soft, almost shy sound. for a moment, the silence seemed to stretch on endlessly before you heard footsteps approaching from inside. your heart rose to your throat.

the door opened hesitantly. and then you saw him. he stood there, dressed in simple gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt. his messy hair seemed to stick up in every direction. his face looked tired, and his eyes held a shadow you hadn’t seen before. he looked the same, yet somehow, he seemed like a completely different person standing before you.

for a moment, neither of you spoke. you stared at each other, and the air between you was so thick, you almost felt like you could touch it. you didn’t know what to say. every word you’d prepared in your mind had suddenly evaporated.

“hey” he said finally, his voice quiet, barely audible.

“hi” you replied just as softly, feeling your mind suddenly abandon you.

his gaze drifted across your face, as if trying to read what was going on in your head. for a moment, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but for some reason, he remained silent, stepping back to give you room to enter.

“will you come in?” he asked, finally making a step back to let you inside.

without a word, you timidly stepped through the threshold, your movements slow and cautious, as if walking on thin ice. under the watchful gaze of the blonde, you took off your shoes, trying to control the trembling of your hands that started to betray you. you hung your coat on the hook, making an effort to avoid his gaze, which seemed to pierce right through you.

the atmosphere between you was strange, uncertain. the silence that settled was almost palpable and you had the feeling that every word or movement of yours could break it in the worst possible way.

when Joost moved toward the kitchen, you turned to him and almost instinctively followed. entering the room, you noticed how the blonde leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. he looked thoughtful, yet tense, as if he didn't know what to do next.

"anything to drink?" he suddenly asked, his voice cutting through the silence, but it sounded surprisingly calm, even though you could still see the shadow of uncertainty in his eyes.

"no, thank you, i'm not in the mood" you replied politely, trying to sound neutral "i don't want to impose."

Joost looked at you, and in his eyes, you could see a mix of disappointment. he fell silent for a moment, as if weighing every word he might say. his hands slowly dropped to the counter, and his breath became deeper, as if preparing himself for something important.

"y/n, you know you don't have to feel like that… you don't have to be afraid of imposing" he finally answered, his voice softer than before.

"Joost, you know, sometimes what you say is easier than what i feel" you replied, your voice trembling in your mouth. you looked him in the eyes, but you couldn’t hold his gaze for more than a moment.

the man slowly began to approach you, until your chests were separated by only millimeters. his hand gently caressed your cheek.

you could feel your whole body tense in that moment, as if Joost's approaching touch had the power to break everything. his presence had something that still drew you in, something that made it impossible for you to pull away.

"y/n…" his voice was barely audible, as if he was trying to find the right words "i… i didn't know what to do. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for everything i've done and for what i haven't done. for hurting you. for leaving you when you needed me the most. i know it's not enough, i know it can't fix what happened, but…"

he paused for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. in your mind, there was emptiness, as if each word he spoke was some kind of spell that took away your ability to think clearly.

"i don't know how to fix what i broke, but i promise you one thing – you won't have to go through this alone. i want to be with you, y/n. i'll do anything to fix this, if you'll just let me. if you’ll let me back in."

you found yourself at a standstill. part of you wanted to throw yourself into his arms, to feel like everything was returning to normal, but the other part still feared trusting him again, afraid that you’d be hurt once more.

"Joost, you left me" you began, feeling a surge of sudden sorrow and anger rising within you "you fucking left me!"

Joost stood frozen, his hand slowly dropping from your cheek as if every syllable of your words was a blow that pierced straight into his heart. his lips pressed into a thin line of helplessness.

"i never wanted to leave you" he said, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions "i never wanted to hurt you. i just… i just needed to find a way to understand what was happening. you know how much you mean to me…" he paused, as if unable to finish, as though every word he spoke felt too small to carry the weight of what he truly felt.

"mean something to you?!" you shouted directly into his face, unable to keep your emotions in check any longer "if i meant anything to you, you wouldn’t have left me hanging for five fucking weeks without a single word!" you stopped, feeling your heart break all over again "you just disappeared, like we were nothing… like i was nothing."

Joost clenched his fists, his eyes filled with turmoil, never leaving yours. his face inched dangerously close to yours, but you knew you couldn’t let yourself falter. with a swift motion, you stormed toward the door, desperate to escape the pointless torment of this confrontation.

before you could reach the handle, he moved in an instant, his body blocking the exit as he positioned himself in front of the door.

"i won’t let you run away" he said, his voice trembling "you’re not going to make the same mistake i did."

you looked at him, feeling anger and pain begin to mix with something else - maybe fear, maybe the desire to understand what really happened. but you couldn’t give him that satisfaction. not now.

“Joost, move the hell out of the way!”

his eyes narrowed, as if the words you spoke were a blow that landed straight in his chest. he stood there for a moment, analyzing you, and you felt a wave of frustration building inside you.

“y/n, stop” he said quietly, but his voice carried something that sounded like desperation “i won’t let you leave, not without talking. we need to sort this out.”

“just move!” you shouted, unable to contain your emotions. you shut your eyes, trying to calm the rising ache in your chest.

“stay, i’m begging you…” his voice broke suddenly.

Joost grabbed you by the waist, and you felt his body suddenly sink down in front of you.

you stood there, staring at him, feeling his hands tighten around your hips. his breathing was quick, uneven, and his eyes, filled with boundless desperation, looked at you as if pleading for forgiveness, for something he couldn’t find within himself.

you felt as though the entire world had stopped around you. you stood frozen, uncertain and disoriented, with Joost kneeling before you, his face buried against your waist like he was seeking refuge. you held your breath, afraid he might vanish in an instant. your hands reached for his chin, forcing him to look at you.

“Joost…” you whispered his name, barely audible, feeling your hand tremble “what happened to us?”

you knelt beside him, feeling your heart pounding harder and your entire body shaking with emotion. without words, without thinking, you wrapped your arms around him, pulling his body close to yours. you wanted to feel him, to close the distance, even though every part of you screamed to run away. his warmth seeped through your arms.

he pulled you closer and your heart nearly stopped when you felt his body shaking in your embrace. then, in the quiet space around you, came a muffled sob, stifled against your chest. it was a sound that filled your mind, shaking you in a way you hadn’t expected.

you felt his body reacting to the pain he must have carried for weeks, as every tear fell down his cheeks, despite his attempts to hide them. you heard that sound, a raw reminder of how deeply hurt both of you were.

Joost finally lifted his tear-streaked face, and something inside you broke again that night. you knew that pain, you knew that emptiness, but seeing him like this now, seeing his face covered in tears, made you feel like something was shifting. maybe, despite all the hurt you’d both endured, there was still a chance to fix this.

“i love you” you heard his gentle voice, and for a moment, your heart stopped beating “i’m an idiot for realizing it so late.”

those words hit you like a wave, flooding you with a relief. you felt the weight of the weeks filled with silence and misunderstandings suddenly lift off your shoulders. you couldn’t stop the tears that began streaming down your cheeks.

“why didn’t you say it earlier?” you managed to whisper, your voice barely holding steady.

“i was scared, y/n” he said, his gaze locking onto yours “i was scared i wasn’t the one you were looking for. i felt like i didn’t deserve to be the one to make you happy” his voice trembled “and then everything got complicated… and i pulled away because I was afraid my feelings might hurt you. and you know what’s the worst part? that all this time, instead of fighting, i just let my fear control me. and now i see that was the dumbest mistake of my life.”

instead of searching for a meaningful answer, you simply leaned in and pressed your lips to his. Joost froze for a moment, feeling the delicate connection as your lips met. despite all the words he had spoken just moments before, this was what you both had longed for. the kiss was filled with unease, but also relief.

when you pulled away, you stared at each other in silence, as though both of you were trying to comprehend what had just happened. Joost gazed into your eyes, then took a deep breath.

“thank you for doing that” he whispered, though it wasn’t clear if he meant the kiss or the fact that you had let him back into your world.

you didn’t reply. instead, you rested gently against him, as if trying to convey everything you felt without words. just silence and closeness - expressing more than any explanation could.

“how about a shower together?” you asked after a moment, feeling the need to wash away the weight of all the emotions you had been through.

Joost looked at you, surprised, but there was something in his eyes that revealed the suggestion wasn’t strange at all. it was exactly what you both needed.

“sounds perfect” he said quietly, his voice still trembling slightly as if he couldn’t quite believe you were here, together, after everything.

he stood up, extending a hand to help you. Joost’s grip was warm and steady as he guided you to your feet. when you both stepped into the bathroom, the soft light reflected off the gleaming tiles, creating an atmosphere of calm. he closed the door behind you, and the silence that followed was different from before. it wasn’t the heavy, tension-filled quiet - it was something that gave you both space to simply be together, to be yourselves.

without a word, he moved to the shower, adjusting the water to just the right temperature. every motion he made was careful, almost reverent, as if he was trying to understand what you were feeling without rushing you. at last, he turned to you with a gentle smile.

“do you want me to help you?” he asked softly, his tone patient and unpressuring, as though he understood that you needed to go at your own pace.

“yes, please…” you replied quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, as you felt your heart slowly settling back into its normal rhythm.

it was a moment where you could let go, where you didn’t have to think about everything that had happened before. just about the now - him, you, and what you had in this present moment. Joost moved with deliberate tenderness as he began to lift your shirt over your head. finally, his warm hands traveled to the button of your jeans, and you felt your breath catch in your throat.

“it’s just me” his voice carried a soothing calm, grounding you in a way that reminded you you could trust him.

a moment later, you stood before him in nothing but your underwear, which soon joined the rest of your clothes on the floor. joost’s eyes roamed over you, filled with tenderness that made your breath hitch.

“please, don’t make me stand here naked by myself” you said with a small, playful smile.

Joost chuckled softly, the sound rich and warm, before starting to shed his own clothes. you watched him with curiosity, your gaze tracing the lines of his body. when he noticed your eyes on him, he paused momentarily, a faint hint of bashfulness flashing across his face before he offered you a soft smile. his body was marked with tattoos, each one telling a story, each one a piece of the man he was. you loved that about him - the way his tattoos painted a vivid picture of someone unapologetically himself.

without a word, he stepped closer, his hands finding their place on your hips. his touch was warm, steady. the sound of the water streaming from the shower filled the room, but it felt distant, merely a backdrop to the moment. every touch, every movement, was careful, infused with intimacy, as though the entire world had melted away, leaving only the two of you.

you stood face to face now, completely vulnerable, with no barriers between you. as you stepped into the shower together, the warm water immediately washed over your bodies, creating a small, intimate space where there was no need for words or explanations.

Joost positioned himself behind you, and you felt his hand gently glide across your shoulders, as if he wanted to shield you from the world. you closed your eyes, letting the warmth of the water and his touch calm your nerves. all the weight you'd been carrying for the past weeks slowly began to melt away. you felt his hands move across your body, massaging it, each movement lifting away the remnants of fear and pain.

“you don’t have to say anything” he whispered, pulling you closer, so you could feel his breath on your neck “i’m here, really.”

in that moment, you needed nothing more. just the warm water, the silence you shared, and the feeling that, despite everything, you had both found your way back to each other.

"i just wanna say one thing" you started, resting your head on his chest "i love you in a way that's hard to put into words."

[thecosmicangel]

Do you feel you’re struggling with manifesting? Well here’s a manifesting rant + my experience & advice.

Hope you find it useful and helps you out 💗✨

You may not notice or realize but are you forcing things to happen? If you are too focused on "forcing" something to happen in the physical reality/3d it will just bring in more resistance & "blockages or delays", instead of trying to force the 3d to change or make it happen, focus on shifting your perspective, because if you are trying to make something happen or force it to happen it most likely means you still don't believe you have your manifestation & you don't believe in your power to make things happen. I must admit that when I was beginning loa and using affirmations I would affirm for hours expecting myself to get instant results ( I was forcing myself to see & make things change in the 3d through affirmations). I was thinking that the affirmations were going to bring me the manifestation but then I would see no proof or movement show up for me which would make me think I didn't have my manifestation and that affirmations weren't working, but I realized affirmations aren't going to make anything happen if my mindset was still not changing. I would affirm for hours and then look for evidence or signs everywhere, which was me assuming I didn't have what I wanted. I was expecting instant results in the 3D when my mindset was the same & NOT changing yet. Affirmations are a helpful method to help you shift your mindset to believe in your assumptions & shift into desired reality. Its not that affirmations create your desired reality, it just helps reprogram your mind to change your perspective. If you catch yourself looking at the 3d to prove you right so you can then believe its possible or that it's already yours, you are not standing firm in your belief that you are the god of your reality and still giving the 3d more validation than yourself. If you truly believed in your manifestation being yours & that it is already done ,you would let go of the need to force a change in the 3d / validation from the 3D. Trust that eventually with repeating your affirmations you will get to the point where you believe what you are affirming, you will also understand that you are the operant power & the only change you need to focus on is your mind, your affirmations will become your dominant thoughts and will start to reflect back to the 3D= you experiencing your manifestation in the physical reality.

Now I don't mean to discourage anyone because we are experiencing the human experience and it's normal to experience sadness, anxiety, anger, or be impatient. Whenever you catch yourself thinking from lack, having negative thoughts, doubts, fears or looking outside of yourself for validation remember to take back your power and remind yourself of your power as the god of your reality. Affirm that everything you want is already yours. Be gentle and patient with yourself, even though things can happen instantly & overnight it is also normal for it to take some time to see the inner change manifest into the outer world. All you have to focus on is thinking in your favor and making sure your thoughts are in line with the new story & stop giving power/attention to the old story or thoughts that are not in line with what you want.

Time is simply an illusion because as humans we experience things in a logical sense or pattern, look at time as a way of measuring a set of pictures in motion. Think of it as if we didn’t experience time everything would be like watching a fast forward video on a loop and eventually you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from the beginning, middle or end it would all just become a loop of pictures playing at a very fast speed and eventually the picture wouldn’t even be visible. The subconscious mind doesn't experience time, it is able to experience everything now that is why we are able to use our imagination. Tapping into the quantum field where infinite realities is possible with imagination. Think about it, whatever you want to imagine you could do so in this instant. Now i want you to imagine that you are in planet mars and it's snowing pink snow and you see a purple elephant walking in front of you. Did you imagine it? well you experienced that instantly as soon as you read it right? Well that's exactly what we mean when we say if you want validation go to your imagination/4d because the scene I described exist in the moment you imagined it you experienced by seeing it in your inner eye, you would only have to saturate your mind to believe you are there now and eventually you would see it in the physical form. Now some may say " well that's impossible because there's no way a purple elephant is in mars and its snowing pink snow" well that's not going to be possible for you if you have all those limiting beliefs, but if you were able to imagine it its very possible & real. Now some people may say " well its hard for me to visualize" well stop assuming that its hard. Start practicing visualization, start with small things and eventually work your self up to be able to visualize & be in your imagination with more ease.

Now let’s talk about dreaming, we all have dreams when we sleep right? Some dreams we don’t remember but we do most of them. I personally believe that dreams are our subconscious mind traveling to different dimensions or parallel realities, some dreams are more based on our subconscious programming, that is why you may dream of things you have been watching or hearing because our subconscious mind picks up on everything & our dreams are just a recollection of everything stored in our subconscious minds. Nightmares are just subconscious fears. Our subconscious mind is always telling us a story through our dreams about our deep beliefs or simply giving us glimpses of many infinite realities. This is why some dreams could seem prophetic because we get to travel different dimensions/ realities in our dreams. Lucid dreaming is when you become aware that you are dreaming which allows you to take control of your dream. Which is the same as real life, once you realize you are the god of your reality you are able to take control of your life and manifest what you want ( you are no longer sleeping on the fact of your power & who you are). Lucid dreaming can also be used as a portal to be able to astral project which is were your astral body is able to leave your physical body and you are able to go anywhere in the astral realm. The astral realm I would compare to our imagination/ 4D, where you can encounter other entities, spirits and things not visible to our naked eye. Now you see how you’re able to dream, lucid & astral project where so many things happen & time wasn’t a concern. Another phenomenon you hear so many stories of is people who go into comas for years and they wake up and say they remember the day before so for them time didn’t happen they simply woke up the next day, or some of them wake up and say they had a whole life while they were in a coma and wake up shocked that it wasn’t “real”. People are amazed at how such thing is possible but it may all be due to their subconscious being impacted due to accident/ trauma that put them in a coma which shifted them into a different reality, when they wake up from the coma they shift back to the reality they were in before the coma. (Now I have gone into a rant about dreams and parallel realities etc, so you may be like what’s your point? My point is that time is AN ILLUSION & that parallel infinite realities exist and we are always experiencing & have direct access to the quantum field everyday in our sleep/ meditative state, so why do you not believe that you are able to shift into your desired reality? Or rely so much on logic? Or just having doubts that affirmations aren’t working or doubting the law? The power of the subconscious mind is so big some can’t even comprehend how powerful it is!)

Now back to manifesting; A tip I would suggest is to meditate or take some time to pay attention to your thoughts or what your current beliefs are when you are not affirming, pay attention to any limiting beliefs, fears or doubts and why you have them. Once you catch these thoughts, replace those thoughts with the opposite affirmation , so for example if your manifesting an SP and you catch yourself thinking " what if he's with someone else" , " he's too busy to text me" or " what if it doesn't work out" make the affirmation " he only has eyes for me, he only wants me" ,"he always makes time for me, I am his top priority" , “everything is always working out in my favor all the time and things are better than I could ever imagine”. Stop worrying about the what ifs instead change your perspective to “ what if everything works out exactly or even better than I can imagine. " or affirm that you do not have any doubts about whatever it’s is you want. Basically for any negative thought simply replace it with the opposing thoughts that aids your new story.

Now remember even though you don't see movement in the 3d, trust that things are moving in your favor. Affirmations are a helpful method to shift your mindset in your favor, and helping you remove all limiting beliefs. Something that helped me realize I had my manifestations all along was that we are not "trying to get" our manifestation, what we are doing is removing all the limiting programming. We already have everything we want but the limiting beliefs, fears and doubts are in the way, giving off the illusion of lack. Fear is simply (False Evidence Appearing Real). Limiting perspective/ beliefs are obstructing our awareness that we already have our desires. We are already experiencing the life we want but we haven’t caught up to that moment yet in the 3D.

As always remember the power is in you, what you give your power/ awareness to becomes the dominant thoughts, which become your reality. So if you are seeing things that you don't want remember you gave it the power to become so, or it's simply just old programming playing out. The 3d, ego and time are always the last to the party. When you begin to reprogram your mind it might seem like all of the sudden opposing thoughts, fears and doubts begin to fill your mind but this is simply the ego trying to hold on to the old story, the ego is always trying to protect itself because it is scared of "dying"/change so it will do anything to protect you. The ego is aware of the internal change, it knows that what it knew & was familiar with is dying out so it goes into panic mode & fights for its survival. Just reassure yourself everything is fine, there is no reason to be scared and simply continue to feed into the new story that you want.

⚡️work on regulating your nervous system, there is tons of videos on YouTube with nervous system regulation meditations, and breathing techniques. I usually do this every Sunday to reset & regulate my nervous system, but you can also do this as needed if you are dealing with lots of anxiety.

⚡️Worrying/ doubting is giving power to the things you don’t want. ( as long as they are not your dominant thoughts they won’t manifest)

⚡️before I was able to receive my manifestation in the 3D I told myself to look at it as a movie , my desire was the end of the movie and everything in between was the unfolding / current reality / present moment. Even though I watched the ending only ( my assumption/ affirmations) I didn’t know how the movie was going to unfold. Even if the movie showed no clues or did not point at all to how it would it end, I already knew the ending of the movie so I wasn’t going to question it because I already saw the ending and knew it would happen for a fact. (If you are not seeing any movement, it doesn’t mean things aren’t happening for you, you will eventually be hit in the face with all your manifestation in full force).

⚡️From my experience I realized I had manifested my breakup with my sp, I realized I started to think of the worst scenarios, what could go wrong due to past relationships, I also started assuming that my sp was going to become distant and end things with me and that ended up happening. The same power I had to create the breakup was also the same power I had to bring us back together. When we were apart I realized how I had manifested/ created him to act the way he did whether for good or bad, this realization was shortly after I found the law of assumption. Sometimes it’s helpful to analyze or reflect back on how you have manifested previous things whether people/ money/ situations/ literally anything. It helps you become aware of your thoughts / beliefs or if certain methods helped more than others . For me I realized day dreaming or ( visualization ) is a strong method for me.

⚡️limit your loa, manifesting content to a few couple people. Too much information can lead you to feel lost or feel like you aren’t doing enough.

⚡️stick to a method / routine that works for you, you don’t have to try every single challenge or method. This implies you feel what you are doing isn’t enough or isn’t working.

⚡️you create your rules, you don’t have to stick to anyone’s rules, you don’t even have to take my advice you decide what you want to believe in or what you believe to work for you.

⚡️be patient with yourself!!!! Things can change in your favor at any moment now! If you are having a “bad day” and catch yourself spiraling, feeling anxious or everything is the opposite of what you are manifesting, simply give yourself some time to breathe and collect your thoughts, when you have ease down your nerves remind yourself that even with what you are being shown you can still change things because you are the god of your reality, nothing is impossible.

⚡️stop looking at the 3D for progress or proof!! Always go within.

-xoxo, the cosmic angel ⭐️🪽

[lotusmi]

healing your journey in 23 steps

⭒ Edward Art series in a nutshell! 💌 As you probably know, I summarized all 23 posts from Edward Art series! You can read all those posts fully here. This post is the collection of my fav quotes from every single part! » Edward teaches the law based in Neville books and lectures. His posts made my journey lighter and more simple, so I hope you can feel lighter reading it too! I really recommend you to read it :) If those quotes don't align with your personal beliefs, just ignore it ♡

💬 may u have a lovely read... ♡

1: No one or nothing to change but Self

Remove having to get things. Remove stress. Simply imagine what you want with the feeling of actual freedom to do so.

fulfill it mentally (your desire). Remove rules. Remove consequences. Remove the outer-world when you imagine. Remove all ideas of what you "should do" or "have to do." Do what you want (within).

do not care about how it will happen or when, or even if it is possible.

★ Do not stress yourself trying to change the mirror, but focus on changing self. Go within and fulfill your desires in imagination.

2: Let go of control, and control Self

There is no objective reality.

"Never blame, only resolve." - Neville

let go to the HOW. let go of controlling your outer-world and control yourself. The world is reflecting self. And "Self" is everything you think you HAVE and ARE.

do anything you wish in your mind. You are so powerful in your mind that NOBODY can imprison you. It is entirely up to you, to be what you desire to be in your mind.

3: He who will not live by love must be subdued by fear

You can remove ALL your fears if you do what you want in your mind.

the goal is to NOT change each and every fearful thought. It is not to argue and contemplate on the fear.

NEVER BLAME YOURSELF FOR FEARFUL THOUGHTS. Never blame, only resolve them within. You have the power to resolve to what you want. Don't waste that power on blaming yourself.

you are ALWAYS GREATER than what you are creating in your mind.

We are NOT trying to manipulate reality or force some change upon this physical world. That will happen NATURALLY. Why? Because your world is REFLECTING SELF.

CHANGE SELF BY DOING AND HAVING WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR MIND.

Do you not realize you only get what you want when you give it to yourself?

4: Inner self must be exalted

It comes down to who you think you are. Who you are identifying yourself with. In order to feel completely free, you must identify yourself with the one within you.

When Neville says "Leave the world just as it is and change self. No one to change but self," he means the self that is within, the only self there is. Why leave the world alone? Because it is only an expression of "SELF!" Why does he say to change that and that alone? Because "SELF MUST BE EXPRESSED," that is the Law. You don't have to doubt "is my imaginal act going to come to pass?" Who is doubting? "SELF!" Who is worrying? "SELF!" What gets expressed? "SELF!" YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST THAT SELF WILL BE EXPRESSED!

Discard the outer-world and that includes your identification with this body. This is ALL an EXPRESSION OF THAT "SELF."

identify yourself from within and you will grant your every wish from within.

since you identify yourself with outer-world and outer-self instead of your True Self and inner-world where everything is possible, you remain stuck.

identify yourself, not with this world, but with the one within, the one who is truly desiring.

5: Imagining is FUN

Thoughts come FROM your FEELING.

thought HAS NO POWER OF ITS OWN. That means the thought HAS NO TRUTH IN ITSELF.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY IF YOU ARE HAVING THE "RIGHT" THOUGHTS OR IF YOU SAYING THE "RIGHT" THINGS IN YOUR MIND. NO MORE TRYING TO THINK PERFECTLY.

You create the feeling you want and from that thoughts come. That is a STATE [!!!]. Remove this idea that beliefs are hard to change and they are blockages in your subconscious.

bring yourself back to the Creator. Stop identifying yourself with the thoughts and understand they are coming FROM the FEELING.

FEEL what you have ALWAYS WANTED to feel, you will NATURALLY THINK-FROM that position. THAT IS A STATE. THAT IS LIVING IN THE END.

FREE YOURSELF IN YOUR MIND ENTIRELY. Stop caring if it will happen or what will happen, REALITY IS YOUR MIND. IT REFLECTS "SELF."

6: Honey

REMOVE ALL RULES!

"Should I? I Must! I Have To!"

These are rules we create in the Mind. Why do we do it? We do for the simple reason that we are trying to control the world. With our physical actions we are trying to control it.

(People who create rules) think the world is outside of them so they create all these rules to control it.

Start with the feeling that, "I can have and feel whatever I want in my mind."

★ free yourself of the rules you (or others) created. Free yourself in your mind. Fulfill your desires within as you want to.

7: I Am not going to tell you "You are Crazy"

we should do everything we want in our minds with no fear. Doing what we want, which is so simple, frees us.

The moment I have any desire in me, I fulfill it. I don't care what it is, how "big" or "small"! I DO NOT CONDITION IT OR WONDER IF IS POSSIBLE ANYMORE OR "GOING TO WORK".

If you really see your mind as the reality, and you fulfill your desires within, you will see how stupid it all is.

the greatest Self-Concepts, the greatest Feelings, the greatest Thoughts are the ones you WANT to have.

start with changing self radically. See yourself entirely different by feeling what you want to be.

When the feeling or desire comes upon you, THAT is the time to ACCEPT IN FULLNESS! Do not wait, do not put it off. Accept in fullness. That is truly what you want to do!

8: Feeling & SELF

Studying [the law] is one thing, actually accepting it another.

EVERYTHING is an assumption. All those thoughts you are thinking are assumptions, and THE MIND DOES NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

how does one feel? The word is ACCEPTANCE. ACCEPT (your desire) ANYWAYS, ENTIRELY ACCEPT IT IN THE MIND!

Create this wonderful habit of accepting every wonderful desire that comes to you. Then you will become normal.

I thought we were suppose to manipulate and control the world. I thought we were suppose to imagine a scene and repeat over and over until it happened. I was wrong. "NO ONE OR NOTHING TO CHANGE BUT SELF!"

when you are panicking about so-so or what might happen or this or that, remember ONLY CHANGE SELF! There is nothing else to change, or nobody else you must change!

SELF is the way to control and manipulate the world. SELF is who you think you are and what you think you have WITHIN! This is a feeling.

9: If I Am then I will Be

"Nothing to change but SELF", "Feeling is the secret." Well, if there is nothing to change but self, how is feeling the secret? In order to change self, it changes through FEELING. This is so important because so many times, I have and others repeated countless affirmations to see little if any results. We repeat it 1000 times, hope it "sticks in the subconscious." Then we hear about feeling so we force feeling into it, and it changes us for a bit but then it becomes exhausting. It becomes exhausting because we feel that we HAVE TO feel this specific feeling or else.

There is no HAVE TO, but WANT TO. FEEL what you WANT to Feel. You discover what you want to feel by asking SELF inside. FEEL that. It does not matter what it is, just something you have always wanted to feel. This is what changes us.

Forcing affirmations, forcing feelings is not what you want. If you just changed the intention to feeling it because you want to feel it, because you want to fulfill all your desires within yourself with feeling, then you would be far happier.

SELF cannot fail at expressing. And SELF is ALL that you FEEL to BE and HAVE in your MIND! Allow yourself the freedom of FEELING what you want with no worry.

So SELF or yourself cannot fail you. You always express what you FEEL to be and FEEL to have. There is NO OTHER CREATOR IN YOUR MIND. None. You are doing it ALL in your mind. You give or you take. There is no other God in the Mind but you.

We are what we feel to be and have in Imagination and this dream world shapes to US.

10: Fearful Of Magnificence?

We should go beyond just granting wishes and start seeing ourselves highly in our minds.

You learn to stop fearing the wonderful feelings by seeing it is YOU who is holding yourself back.

Once you break through your own fear of wonderful feelings, you will see it was you all along. All fear are mental imaginings that you are creating within yourself. Knowing, you bring the power of CREATION BACK TO YOURSELF.

11: Self Identification

How can I BE what I want?

It lies in your IDENTIFICATION OF SELF. Do not be afraid but IDENTIFY yourself FULLY with the INNER MAN. The immortal you. The one that can do ANYTHING it wants. The one who owns the world and all that is in it. If you identify yourself with the inner man, you will be free.

The outer man see's nothing but limitations. He lives in desire. Too many of us have identified ourselves with what the outer-man HAS and IS, not seeing it is a reflection of the INNER MAN.

See what you HAVE and what you claiming yourself to BE WITHIN. THAT is what is reflected always.

You do not have to persuade others to help you [!!!]; all you need do is believe you are what you want to be and then let the world (which is nothing more than yourself pushed out) go to work to make your assumption possible. - Neville

How can you "believe you are what you want to be" when you the world is showing you otherwise? Again it comes down to "SELF" IDENTIFICATION. Conceptions of ourselves are what WE FEEL OURSELVES, OUR INNER MAN TO BE. The Inner Man has all the freedom to see and feel what it wants to be.

To the Inner Man EVERYTHING ALREADY IS TRUE, not to the outer. IT ALREADY IS SO, to the Inner Man. There is no convincing necessary, no 1,000 affirmations, no repeating over and over hoping it works, IF YOU IDENTIFY YOURSELF WITH THE INNER MAN.

You did not imagine "How" to get there, you are already there in imagination. Your issue is NOT in imagining the end, your issue lies in who you are identifying yourself with. If you imagine yourself in the end, which is easy, but then you identify yourself with the outer-man, you will breed nothing but frustrations.

"Disregard appearances, conditions, in fact all evidence of your senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire. Rest in the assumption that you are already what you want to be" - Neville

Leave the world as it is, with all of its denials and change yourself within and see how it is yourself pushed out.

So discard all beliefs of what you think you are, or what you have been called etc, and Identify yourself with the One Within and you will be free.

12: Personal Reality

stop thinking about the outer-world. You get rid of this 3D reality. You then FEEL that your inner world is YOUR reality. Your own PERSONAL reality, where you can do, have, and be what you want.

We are not trying to "make something happen" or "hope it manifests," rid yourself of these feelings. They will do nothing but block the wonderful feelings and experiences you want to have within. This is your own personal reality.

Once you create this personal reality where everything seems to go lovely, you will see that there is no one to blame for what you were previously imagining. Taking all responsibility for what happens WITHIN us, we can then use that power to change what we want WITHIN us.

13: No Permission Needed

Remember the outer-world is a reflection of what the INNER MAN has, is and does in their own Personal Inner Reality. That is you.

if we wish to have radical change, let's radically change the INNER MAN. Give the INNER MAN what they want. That is, radically change your own Personal Inner Reality.

"DARE to assume" DARE to FEEL (accept) what you want. Without doing that, you remain as you are.

THE INNER MAN NEEDS NO PERMISSION! THE INNER MAN DOES NOT CARE WHETHER OR NOT IT IS POSSIBLE! So in your Personal Reality, your Mind, understand you need no permission to FEEL what you want to feel. No permission whether not it is "possible". Identify yourself with the INNER MAN who is FREE to do, feel and be what they want!

Your Personal Inner Reality is not bound by the facts of this life. In the Reality Within, you can go back in memory and change what you want. It is YOURS to change!

Your Personal Inner Reality is not bound by the facts of this life. In the Reality Within, you can go back in memory and change what you want. It is YOURS to change!

Daily FEEL what you want to feel and experience what you want in Imagination which is your true SELF, the SELF that is reflected in front of you.

14: The God Of The World Of Imagination!

There is this world, the World of the Senses, and there is another world, the World of Imagination. There is a Man who experiences the World of the Senses, which we call the Outer-Man. Then there is another Man who experiences the World of Imagination. We call that Man the INNER MAN.

The Outer-Man sees the limitations and restrictions in the World of the Senses. The Outer-Man feels he is limited and confined to the ‘facts’ of life. The Outer-Man goes through life fully convinced that this World of the Senses is happening to him not from him. He uses only his five senses to move in this World. So naturally he feels like a victim and desires to control this world through the means of force, manipulation etc. The Outer-Man feels fear that life can throw at him things that he is not prepared for. Situations he does not want to encounter but since he feels powerless, he fears the future. Since he cannot change the past, he guilt himself over it. This is how he is limited.

Then there is the Inner-Man who lives in the World of Imagination. In this World, he is unlimited and can create what he wishes. He is free beyond measure and everything that he can be conceive of is his. Everything. Not one thing is not his because he is the Creator of it!

THERE IS NO OBJECTIVE OUTER-MAN. The Outer-Man is simply an expression of the Inner Man. The only Man that exists is the Inner Man. There is NO OBJECTIVE WORLD OF THE SENSES. The World of the Senses, is but the expression of the World of Imagination.

The Inner Man can convince himself that he is this Outer-Body living in this dangerous world but he is still the Inner Man fooling himself into that!

PART 15: Awakening

What the Inner Man FEELS himself to BE and FEELS himself to HAVE in the World of Imagination is what will be EXPRESSED in this World of the Senses.

you are an INNER individual living in the World Of Imagination. In this World, you are God. You can imagine anything. All things are possible here in this world, INCLUDING the FULFILLMENT of your desire. You can change SELF to what you want. And SELF is what you THINK you HAVE and what you THINK you ARE in this World of Imagination. Read that sentence again. And SELF, THAT SELF, is what is EXPRESSED.

As you read this, you are living in this 3D world. You own things within it, you HAVE things. Based on what you HAVE in this 3D world, you create identities for yourself. Remember, we CLAIM we ARE things BASED on what we THINK WE "HAVE."

stop identifying yourself with this 3D world, which is simply an expression of INNER SELF, if you stop identifying yourself with what this 3D person "HAS," and start identifying yourself with the INNER MAN, you will see the freedom.

in this 3D world, we give ourselves identities based on what we THINK (FEEL) we HAVE. So if we can identify ourselves with the INNER MAN, and in that world we HAVE the things we want, we can then give ourselves a new identity.

stop thinking you are "only imagining" this. I want you to stop thinking what you are seeing in your mind is "fake." I want you to stop reacting to what you do not want to react to you. I want you to stop FEELING limited by this World of the Senses. I want you to stop worrying about HOW or WHEN it is going to happen and instead FEEL secure KNOWING this 3D world reflects what your INNER SELF HAS AND IS WITHIN. I want you to FEEL you are limitless within because you are! You do not have to bow down to this world and accept what you THINK it says about you. I want you to FEEL yourself to be the creator of everything within you.

Can you accept that you HAVE what you want because you see yourself (INNER SELF) with it, and everything in this World of Imagination is yours and is real?

PART 16: "What Else?"

How I enter into a New State of Consciousness? Death. Death is the only way. How does one die to a State of Consciousness? By surrendering to the New State. You cannot enter into a New State taking with you all the limitations, questions, and worries of the Old State. The Inner Self must be exalted but it cannot be exalted by holding 2 contradictory States.

When you imagine having exactly what you want in your mind, you do not question anything, you do not worry, you do not wonder "what if," you do not entertain the Old State and its limitations for one second. You die to it entirely.

You cannot bring your current limitations, worries, questions and FEELINGS with you to your New State.

The States or Concepts you hold in the Imagination are nothing but things you "hold." That is it. You think because the concept you are holding is reflecting in your world somehow makes it more "real?" I assure you it is not. It does not really matter if it is being reflected.

PART 17: Dream The Dream

remove the outer-world and remove the idea of "trying to manifest" and simply have the attitude of changing your INNER WORLD to your liking. Here is nothing to do, nothing to force on the outside. You change it, you mold it, you feel it and you do it all within you. You create a new dream, a perfect dream within you.

To "try to manifest," is a feeling. "Trying to get, trying to resolve, trying to make something happen," are FEELINGS you take with you before you imagine. These feelings are what disrupt you from actually FEELING what you want to feel. Instead FEEL that you are solely going to re-imagine, or re-dream a new dream WITHIN YOU and you will change you FEELING how you feel within. These changes is what expresses itself in the world. So if you wish to change the outer-world, leave it alone. Leave it alone and go within and change THAT WORLD, the world WITHIN. Change who you are THERE, change what you have THERE, change how you are treated THERE. Dream up a new World Within!

PART 18: Expansion

what you are seeing in your mind is not fake. And not only is it NOT fake, you can shape it PRECISELY how you want to shape it.

In order to actually lose yourself in the imaginal act, one must accept it is real and let go entirely of the outer-world. One must suspend rational thinking, and just accept it is real.

In order to access this feeling you must not be afraid to assume it is Real. If you are not FEELING it then that means you are still bound by your senses and this outer-world. You need to allow yourself the Freedom to Expand BEYOND the rational mind that is keeping you from experiencing your Wish being granted. You cannot be afraid anymore to feel and imagine what you want.

PART 19: Boldness

Your Mind is your own Personal Reality and you have the power to shape it PRECISELY, and FEEL what you want in it!

This is about giving the Inner Self what you want.

PART 20: Receptivity

Now we come to Denying. That is to say that we must truly let go of what the Outer World is showing us. True Denial is not looking at your World and merely repeating, "It does not exist," but is actually ACCEPTING the new reality within you. You do not deny being unwanted, by stating your are not unwanted. You deny unwantedness with the ACCEPTANCE of being wanted. It is our ACCEPTANCE of our Imagination which is our DENIAL of the senses. So Denying is not something you do, it is the implication of your ACCEPTANCE of the Imaginal Scene.

To stress yourself on whether you are "denying" the evidence of your senses enough is an unnecessary stressor. You do not fight against your senses for they only reflect you. Because "True Denial" as Neville says is "total indifference." But to be totally indifferent about your senses, you must ACCEPT your Imagination as the Reality. To become "indifferent" is an emerging consequence of accepting Imagination as the One and Only Reality.

You cannot wait for the world to change to what you want. You must change what you are and have in Imagination. If you are tired of what your world is reflecting, you can be confident it will keep reflecting that until you change YOU inside your Consciousness. This calls for radically giving yourself what you desire IN Consciousness.

PART 21: Irrationality 

Chances are you truly are NOT giving yourself what you want because you feel some impossibly in it. Forget that. All things are possible in the Imagination. Do it anyway. Just do it. Do what? What you deeply want. Do you for only you, you Inner Self.

PART 22: The Dreamer

Never seeing he is the Creator, the Cause he always fails. The idea that he does not have to do anything, he does not have to work his way out - this idea is lunacy to the Outer-Man. He thinks, "No, there must be a way that I just have not figured out yet." So he goes on seeking outside of himself, yet he himself is a desiring self, and only seeing his reflection, he only see's his desires. Never obtaining them, always seeking them, frustrations, rage, jealousy all stir up within him. Hating his world, hating what he see's, hating his own reflection he wants to destroy it. He cannot win because he lives in a position of fear and failure, and what is within will be without because Man can only give what is within himself.

If only he were to stop hating his reflection, and saw that the mirror only reflects what he is doing, he would be free. If only he were to see the mirror is stationary and does not judge but simply reflects. If only he were to see himself in the mirror and see he is the Creator, he would be free.

He does not have to cope with his limitations, he does not have to fight his way out. He will stop feeling after his fears and become indifferent about them for they are his Creation and has no power over him.

The Dreamer abandons limitations and turns towards his desires and gives it to himself fully. The Dreamer will always dream beyond what his limitations dictate.

PART 23: Unconditional Thinking

To truly grasp the freedom that is attainable within you, you must understand the concept of States. A State is a belief about the yourself or what you believe you will experience, an attitude towards life. There are infinite statues (states) that lie dormant within you. They do not disappear, for nothing can disappear in Imagination. The acceptance that you are the State now, is what brings life to these dormant statues.

If entering into a New State within you is challenging it is because you have not accepted who you are within. You are not a State, but is God. As God within, whose permission are you asking for? To whom do you answer to? If there is only One Being within you, then who can stop you?

If you wish to rise as something New in Imagination, you have to give up entirely your currently thoughts/feelings, questions, worries, what you think of the world, what you think is possible, if you think you are worthy or not, if you deserve the New State etc.

"Don't tell me anything!" That is the secret. Total self-abandonment to the current State is the way to bring life towards the New State.

You have to die to what you do not want to express entirely, a true act of surrender. You can do it.

leave the world alone and go within and die to what you want to stop expressing and allow yourself to be what you want. Imagination is the evidence you are seeking for it is the only reality.

Assume all works in your favor to express your States. This is how the Imagination works. Everything within you is yourself for the taking. Think unconditionally.

💬 may u had a lovely read... ♡ i see u next post!

[gatorbites-imagines]

Hi!! Hope everything is going well!

Could I Please ask for some bottom buggy (mayhaps with some watersports since I saw you had a interest) or some ftm crocodile being fucked into submission!

Have a nice day.

Ftm Sir Crocodile x male reader

Ficlet

I love Sir Crocodile so much 🗣️ 🗣️

Reader is part of Buggy’s crew, cuz I thought that would be hilarious. Reader doesn’t have a devil fruit, but is still super kickass. Hes kind of the information gatherer, smuggler, etc, for the Buggy crew. Reader is also normal human height.

Mixed terminology for Crocs bits. Also, breeding/pregnancy? kink warning ig. but its just mentioned for the fantasy.

The Cross Guild appeared great for any outsider or lesser in the know members, which was most of them. They all saw your captain as someone great and almost godly, thinking he was so much more than he was, but you had been with him for many years, even before the Buggy pirates had even been created. Shortly after the execution of Rogers, Buggy had stumbled into your path and had accidentally saved your life, and from then on you had been by his side.

Most people thought of you as something akin to an accountant or treasurer, wearing an outfit that looked very much like that of a ringmaster, long red tailcoat and top hat and all. You were always one of the first to run away, giving you a reputation of a coward who couldn’t fight.

The only one who truly knew how much of a threat you could be, would be your captain and his inner circle, which you were also part of. You might not have been the strongest physically compared to someone like Mihawk, but no one could gather information like you could, smuggle like you could, or have someone “disappear” like you could. Your network was so extensive that even the one they called Joker, who you knew was none other than Donquixote Doflamingo, was jealous.

That was why you knew everything about Sir Crocodile and Mihawk before the day was over when the Cross Guild was formed. You cowered off to the side, keeping up your weak act as you flinched at their raised voices or the light reflecting off Crocodiles golden claw.

They believed you a weak fool who’s only worth was your quick mind and ability to calculate numbers quicker than most computers, which resulted in them mostly dismissing you. It was a role you basked in and felt comfortable, using it to keep your true identity under wraps. That was until they pushed your captain too far, as Crocodile especially seemed to take great pleasure in antagonizing and hurting your captain.

You were protective, most pirates were, if they felt any sense of loyalty to their captain. It was because of that, that you dug up a trusted contact, a celestial dragon with greater access to seastone than anyone else you knew. Using measurements from the moment’s clothes had to be made, a pair of cuffs in just the perfect size soon arrived to you with the post.

It was easy to press Crocodiles buttons, to get him worked up by acting stupid and pathetic, just the way you knew made his blood boil. It was even easier to enrage him so far that he chased after you, so blinded by his anger that he didn’t even notice how you kept avoiding his sand, or how you were leading him further and further away from the rest of the guild.

When he finally caught up, Crocodile caged you against the wall, hook digging into the drywall as he almost snarled down at you, cigar crunched between his teeth as his purple eyes blazed. But mild confusion crossed his face as your fearful expression dropped, his body straightening as your eyes met his head on. Before Crocodile could order an explanation, a feeling of weakness crashed through his body, making his knees buckle enough that you had to catch him, supporting his towering weight and bulk.

His vision swam as you started dragging him along, his feet dragging along the floor because of his height compared to your own. Crocodile felt dizzy and mildly nauseous, his eyes finally catching the heavy bands around his wrist, the one he still had left. “ssseastone?” he slurred out, voice lighter than the growl you were used too, cigar long forgotten somewhere along the journey.

In the beginning, you had planned on torturing him, the blades strapped to your person burning at the thought, but as you threw him down almost carelessly on a barely clad bed, a different through passed through your mind.

A slight thrill ran down your spine as his purple eyes burnt into you, his usual anger still present, but mixed with something else, something deeper and hungrier. Soft pants left Crocodiles lips, sounding faintly struggled as the seastone drained the power from his body, leaving him limp and pliant.

You could see the heat rising to Crocodiles cheekbones as you started stripping off your usual getup, tailcoat slid off your shoulders and neatly folded, top hat placed down with care. “What the hell are you doing…” Crocodile rasped from the bed, his pupils blown as an unfamiliar need unfolded inside him, the familiar thrum of pleasure running through body.

Maybe it was his weakened state, but he swore his cunt was pulsing with need, especially as you unbuttoned the stark white shirt you always wore, revealing a tightly muscled and heavily scarred body underneath, leather straps adorned with vials and weapons stretched across your torso.

Crocodile tried to shuffle his legs, maybe to squeeze his thighs together, or to spread them further apart, he wasn’t sure, but all he could do was a minimal twitch and jolt. “I planned on cutting you up, making you beg for mercy. But from the looks of it… you wouldn’t mind some other kind of discipline” you murmur, almost stalking towards him where Crocodile was splayed out on top of the white sheets.

You could see all his muscles tense as you let your hands climb up his legs, up his thighs and stomach, traveling all the way up his arms towards his hook. A choked off noise leaves Crocodile as you remove his hook with ease, like you had done it a thousand times before, placing it off to the side with care.

“Behave yourself” you tell him, squeezing the sides of his jaw to make his lips part. Crocodile tried to growl or snap a threat, to snap his teeth at you or somehow fight back, but his body was mostly unresponsive, his tongue feeling thick and useless in his mouth.

A shiver of anticipation ran through Crocodile as you moved again, settling between his thick spread thighs. Your eyes met as you reach for his belt, your brow lifting as if asking if he wanted you to stop. You may be a pirate, but you had class and manners, at least when it came to stuff like this.

But when all Crocodile responded with was a sour expression and glare, you make easy work of his belt and slacks, tugging them down his hips and legs, throwing them off to the side with little care. Your disregard for his clothes made Crocodile grumble, but the noise was quickly silenced as you pressed your entire hand against his slick underwear, fingers teasing his hard t-cock and soaked folds.

“Tsk tsk, look at you, bet you just need someone to put you in your place, is that it?” you mumble in an almost mocking tone, looking up at him with an almost feral hunger in your eyes. Crocodile chokes on the words that want to form in his throat, some kind of rebuttal perhaps, that he would never want someone as low as you to do anything to him, but as you pinch his cock between your fingers, it morphs into a shaky moan.

Crocodile’s boxers as easily pulled off, thrown to the floor with a damp plap, making his face redden further as you only find amusement in the obvious sign of his arousal. Kicking off your pants and boxers, you crawl up the bed and sit between his thick thighs, pushing them further apart to expose where he only grows slicker, hole clenching around nothing as if begging you to fill it.

“What would they say, seeing the great Sir Crocodile, spread out like this, ready to take the cock of a feeble weak treasurer” you taunt, pressing your hips closer to his, so that you could drag the tip of your cock up and down through his folds. The act has Crocodile arching as good as he can with the cuff on, his eyes squeezing shut as he clenches his jaw, a breathy noise leaving him, folds only growing slicker around you.

Maybe it was your size difference, with you being average human size, compared to Crocodiles almost 9 feet, or maybe it was his gut deep arousal, but his hole didn’t need much prep for you to be able to fit inside.

That didn’t mean you were just gonna give it to him, since this was supposed to be a lesson. A stuttery moan spills almost silently from Crocodiles lips as your fingers rub through his folds, barely pressing against where he wants you the most. He had never imagined himself in a situation like this, splayed out and dripping for you, someone he had always just seen as a nuisance, but here he was.

“Come on Crocodile… ask nicely” your tone is almost cruel as you push only two fingers inside him, barely felt because of his size, but just enough to rub against his wet gummy insides and leave him aching for more. Crocodiles jaw clenches, barring his teeth as his head weakly rolls to the side, as if to hide his face into the sheets.

“Or… I could just leave you here, thighs spread open, cunt glistening with want. Im sure someone will pass by, and who wouldn’t want a chance to fill this” as if to exaggerate your point, you push two more fingers into his slick hole, burying them as deep as possible into Crocodiles wet insides, punching a gasp out of him.

Crocodile seems to debate it, if he wants to put his pride aside for someone like you, but his thoughtprocess is knocked off course as you pinch his cock with your free hand, twisting it cruelly. Had he not been wearing the seastone cuff, his thighs would have clamped shut and a shout would have left him, but now all his body could do was tense up as a wet keen tumbled out of him.

“P…please” Crocodile finally mumbles, voice small and almost shy, but it can barely be heard over the wet slick sounds of your fingers thrusting in and out of him, his wetness running down your palm and wrist in the process.

“Hm?” you hum, the questioning tone in it clear, as if you didn’t hear him at all, giving his cock another twist just because you could. “fuck me… please…” is gasped out, Crocodiles insides clenching around your slick fingers as they rub and prod around inside him.

Your fingers movements slow to a stop, silence filling the room long enough for Crocodile to peek an eye open and look down at you. Your eyes are intense as they bore into his, the predatory flare in them making Crocodiles insides quiver. “Normally id demand better than that, but I’m starting to pity you” you scoff out, withdrawing your fingers from his hold with a slick noise.

Instead of wiping them off on the sheets, you use the large amount of slick that had gathered in your palm to slick up your shaft, releasing a huffed exhale as Crocodiles eyes widen at the sight. “I’ve thought about making you ride me, so you’ll have to make yourself take it, but we can’t do that right now, can we” you eye the cuff around his one wrist, making Crocodile growl and spit out a weak warbled “fuck you”

His insult carries no heat, clearly only for show, his glare quickly wiped off his face as you finally push inside him. Crocodile needs little time to adjust, resulting in you almost immediately setting a bruising rough pace, drawing in and out of him with loud wet slick noises, his hole gripping onto you as he gasps and moans.

Reaching down, you push his shirt up just enough to splay a hand across his lower stomach, a foxlike grin spreading across your lips as you watch his hips weakly roll into your own. “If you weren’t such an asshole, I could fuck you whenever. Imagine that Crocodile, walking around, cunt leaking my cum, as you try to play tough.” You chuckle darkly, tone thick and hungry in the way only a predatory animal could possess.

As your cock rams into that sensitive spot inside him, Crocodile is finally starting to realize you are truly more than you seem, his cunt drooling a wet puddle under him on the sheets as you take him with a new hunger, a glint appearing in your eyes as your hand presses down harder on his stomach.

“I could knock you up you know, right here.” Is hissed out as you bottom out inside Crocodile, the words making him tighten up and shiver in want. “No one would find you so scary then, would they Crocodile. Waddling around, fat with my kid” you purr, letting both your hands splay across his stomach. It was all fantasy, but by God did it make Crocodile wet and wanting. Something about the fantasy of you, some lesser subordinate knocking him, Sir Crocodile, up, had him seeing double.

The seastone didn’t help with his woozy state, all attempts at forming words only becoming half formed and slurred, Crocodiles eyes going wet and glassy as that familiar feeling spread through his body. “in… inside me…” Crocodile slurs as you curse to yourself, clearly close to the finish line as well. Had it not been for the cuffs, he would have thrown his legs around you, squeezing you against his body to keep you inside him, but all he could do now was beg.

Crocodiles pride crumbled as your fingers squeezed his cock one last time, a pure orgasmic expression crossing his face as he gasped and moaned, his entire body twitching weakly as he came, wetting your cock and the sheets even further as the feeling thrummed through his entire body.

With a deep groan you bottom out inside Crocodile for a last time, letting your eyes squeeze shut as you spill inside him, coating his insides in a thick coat of white. Crocodile whimpers weakly at the feeling, trying to squeeze around you as if to milk your length for more.

He slumps against the sheets further than he already is, eyes falling shut in a relaxed exhausted expression. Crocodile barely notices as you pull out, white leaking out from between his folds to join his own mess on the sheets. He barely even notices you cleaning him up, only twitching and gasping softly when you clean up between his legs.

Its only when the seastone cuff leaves his wrist that Crocodile returns to himself somewhat, as the familiar feeling of his devilfruit washes through his body again. Squinting his eyes open, he catches sight of you getting dressed again, tucking on your shirt, then your coat, and lastly placing your hat on top of your head.

Even with his devilfruit returned to him, Crocodile still feels weak and exhausted, but the good type of exhausted one only gets after a good fuck. Part of him wants to ask you to stay, to hold him and pet his hair, to maybe mumble more dirty fantasies about knocking him up, and how you’d make him live as your pretty little housewife. But instead, Crocodile just grunts to get your attention, his attempt to demand to know where you are going.

“I have to get back to the others, since ill be taking over your duties for the rest of the day and tomorrow” you say, voice resolute and not allowing any denial or struggle. And normally Crocodile would have growled and rejected anyone taking over his duties, but for some reason, the idea of you taking care of him made him relax deeper into the bed, muscles lax and thoughts empty and calm for once.

Approaching him, you press a soft kiss to his forehead before telling him “this room is hidden away from everyone else, so take all the time you need. Ill check up on you later” as you pat his cheek. After telling him where the bathroom is, where he could find towels and replacement sheets and blankets, you were on your way, leaving Crocodile on his lonesome.

It took a while, but he finally pushed himself into a seated position before getting to his feet. The feeling of your cum trickling down the insides of his thighs as the familiar heat of arousal burning inside him once more, making Crocodile shuffle towards the bathroom you had pointed him towards. Even though you had just left, he could still get himself off a few more times from just the memory alone.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to be disciplined by you, he wondered how you’d react if he caused issues with your smuggling routes. The idea sent a line of heat up his spine as he stepped into the shower, hand quickly traveling between his thighs, fingers burying themselves into his still sensitive hole, fantasies of hungry glare and cruel fingers filling his mind.

[kserocopy]

The place where you find your priceless mind, A temple meant to offer you safety and quiet. The bank of your deeds, your sins and your hopes, Might turn into horror, the worst of your thoughts. An eye once blind by flattery and lies, Now gazes in terror at the triangle’s rise. In your mind, the most precious realm on earth, You left the door open — was it worth? what it’s worth? How can one small life bring the world to its end? A dream of nights spent playing games with a friend. But now as you close your eyes to find rest, The nightmare stirs, leading me to my acts. The worst human rot, in his fears, Attempts to find cheers, to hear the crowd's applause. Isolated and utterly lost in dismay, The loss of a friend, whose mind gone astray. Now it is late; the time has run out. I can’t wait any longer — no, not a doubt. There’s no chance for you to find a way out. This mind was infected; your inner voice loud, It shouted and cried until it lost its sound. It’s funny to note those avid attempts, That didn’t even seem like a petty hindrance. Deaf to the warnings, consumed by regret, Now watch where your deeds led you - all to my glad. How touching it was to see you so plagued, A reflection of choices that left all so frayed.

[mrsackermannx]

trust me with it | choso kamo

choso has experienced so much of what it is to be human already, but you're slowly making him realise that he's far more human than he thought.

word count: 7k

tagging: (ya’ll interacted with my interact to be tagged post back in November🥺) @meownotgood @sixpennydame @tomuraslut @romantichomicide95 @cathybarn @c-h-e-r-r-i-e-s @whatthefucksatan @loveackermannn + @p00pdev1l (have to tag you my beloved <3)

tags: 18+ canonverse choso kamo x fem!sorcerer reader, minor manga spoilers, (nothing plot wise is mentioned other than yuuji and megumi reuniting/implied culling games arc/ post shibuya incident arc), loss of virginity (virgin choso) but still soft dom choso, corruption kink too I guess?? choso has a big dick, breeding kink, size kink, slight praise kink, belly bulge, unprotected sex, use of "human/little human," light love confession/confession of feelings-so sex with feelings? low-key self indulgent, not beta read, vvv intense sex, possessive/smitten choso (slightly yandere at the end??)

author’s note 💌: (nov 23): hope this isn’t a little too ooc, ive been dying to write something for choso and this came to me so i had to write it! virgin characters are my faves to write🤭(june 24): I HAVE HAD THIS SAT IN MY DRAFTS SINCE NOVEMBER AND WANTED TO SET IT FREE😭😭😭

Choso had been plunged into a world of the unknown from the moment he met you. Before you, he liked to believe that one hundred and fifty years of existence meant that his wisdom would always be the indispensable weapon against which he truly feared—the unknown, and the humanity of his heart.

He was hardly a stranger to continuous, repetitive loops of thought but it felt as if his brain had rewired itself. Not even his inner world was safe from the insatiable need to be near you, his own thoughts searched for you when they dared stray elsewhere. 

He thumped the tile before him, hot water scalding his back as he willed his hopeless blood to answer him. It was acting on its accord all the time, his heart nothing but frenzied beating in his chest, not even his body in his own control anymore.

The need to be near you, to feel you and touch you in ways he couldn’t even explain was going to be his undoing tonight. Sharing a room with you seemed to send equal prickles of fear and excitement through him.

You reached out for your reflection in the glass as if you’d throttle it but chose to reach out and trail patterns against the window instead. You wrote nonsense for a few moments, before cursed energy started to zap through your fingertips in minute electric pulses. A shower normally reset you after a day like this, but you supposed this was a rather special circumstance. 

You were glad to be alive even though you didn’t feel you deserved it and the weight of your fellow sorcerers still slugged down your shoulders. The responsibility for your students was an ever present taste in your mouth. You eyed your tattered uniform beside you, all too grateful for the hotel robe Choso had insisted you wear after he picked apart the suitcase left by the last guests. It was soft and fluffy, perfect for how light your body felt after your shower and admittedly around Choso.

You gripped your stomach, the guilt demanding to be free. Your head was still fuzzy from how hot you’d had your shower, as you’d yearned to wash away all that had happened. But that would be a dream, “Satoru, I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” you whispered, laying your forehead against the cool glass.

Thankfully the wailing vibrations of a nearby car alarm rattled through the glass and then your ears, dragging you from the dark edges of your mind. 

You peered down below at the scene, squinting to figure out the cause of the chaos. Cackles of maniacal laughter followed sounds of crumbling concrete as your eyes darted from fire to fire. When one was extinguished another rose up in its place. Yet the neon lights of Tokyo still shone, a loyal audience and an ever present reminder of what life used to be like. 

It was pure anarchy, like waking up from one nightmare and going right back into another. Yet the world was not ending and then starting again it just kept ending instead. 

You weren’t sure what was worse, the hell out there, or the one in this room? Choso wasn’t quite sure either, he thought as much as he watched you intently from the doorway of the bathroom. He found he could often do so and never tire of it because there was a fluidity to your movements that calmed him, something that reminded him of water, like warm waves somewhere safe. 

He liked that about you, he liked a lot about you. 

You glanced at his reflection in the glass, and resisted smiling at how he watched you so attentively. Concern knitted his features into something soft and more approachable than the expression he usually showed everyone else.

He was so cute and serious all at once that it was infuriating. He towered over you in height and his hands dwarfed yours, every feature of his face was dark and perfect, and maddeningly symmetrical like he was crafted in heaven, like some kind of dark, beautiful, fallen angel. 

But nothing about Choso was what you expected, that you learned early. He might have looked intimidating, but he was careful and patient, he stopped to admire flowers when he thought nobody was watching, he didn’t always say a lot, nor did he smile often, but he had an array of expressions that always managed to move you in some way.

You sighed. You resented how he’d managed to send the usually calm waves of your heart into a frenzy, a full blown tsunami. 

But you couldn’t hate him, it was impossible. Not when every interaction you had together, you treasured so sincerely. You casted your mind back to just nights ago, when you were sitting together on a roof in some district, sharing konbini raided food together under the stars. He held his onigiri out to cheers with yours, a phantom smile on his lips before he took a bite. 

Or when your hand brushed his as you were walking back and he frowned at how cold it was, clasping it immediately on instinct with his large, warm hand. You tried to shake his grip but he shook his head and clasped it tighter, urging you to keep up with his pace. You didn’t argue it any further.

Then just this morning after passing through what used to be a department store. You all but yelped when you felt something hook around your throat from behind. But a hand landing atop of your head quickly stopped your thrashing, “It’s just me.” You heard the glimmer of his smile, turning with one of your own.  

He was still smiling, simply as if he was so fond of you that words were futile to express the depth. Your throat went dry as he adjusted the scarf on you, “I found this,” he murmured, before continuing ahead, turning to beckon you when you stood there frozen. 

This person often acted without words and out of pure kindness and it baffled you. You knew what he had done and what he was capable of, but every wordless gesture, reassuring nod, and the warm brush of his fingertips against yours had you rethinking everything about love. 

His deep voice settled through your body and calmed your rising nerves. He’d only said your name but it sounded like the unmistakable call to come home, it made you feel like a child again.

You were still standing at the window, then, he thought, no doubt thinking of other sorcerers, of Satoru, at least you knew Yuuji and Megumi were safe, only a few doors down.

“You should sleep,” he murmured, soft footsteps growing close until his body heat somehow billowed against your nape.

It was easier to face yourself than him right now, so you dared not meet your faces in the reflection staring back at you. “What are you thinking about?”

You wanted to speak but found yourself trembling, silent tears rushed to embrace your palms, staggering where you stood you tried to cover your eyes, but Choso was already there. You felt his strong arms lock around you, stilling the tremors that shook you. You stiffened at first before you melted, the hard pieces of you pooling to his feet like wax. 

“What are you doing, Choso?”

“I felt like it was right,” he whispered, resting his chin upon your head. Instinctively his hands cupped your cheeks, swiping away the warm tears rolling there. “You stopped shaking.”

You couldn’t breathe now for entirely different reasons, being handled so tenderly seemed to make you even more tearful. 

The commotion of the fighting in the distance seemed to unsettle you more, making Choso exhale suddenly through his nose. “I…wish you didn’t have to see that.”

Your lips parted, “I don’t want to think about anything anymore Choso,” you croaked. “I don’t want to think about anything.”

“Can you think about me?” he bashfully asked, stroking his hands through your hair. “I just want to help you.”

“I don’t want to burden you, just go to bed, okay?”

He stiffened against you, unhanding you to head over to bed.

“You don’t have to fight how you feel around me. I’m not one of your students.”

“I know.” You refused to let yourself crumble anymore around him, it was too dangerous, for so many reasons.

“We have to rest so we can fight,” he murmured. You turned to find him gesturing again to the space beside him. You sighed and he countered you with an even louder one. He crossed his arms as you smirked at the sound, “Don’t be stubborn. You need to sleep.” 

His bluntness was something he did to lessen the burden of talking at times, but when he spoke to you it felt as if he did it to protect your heart. It was obvious he didn’t always know how he should say things before others, but with you it came easy. 

You let out a bitter laugh, wrapping your arms around your cold body. “You know, Choso? The more time passes, I can see that you’re an older sibling.”

He decided to take that as a compliment, humming in gratitude before continuing to pat the empty space beside him. “Then listen, come here and sleep. You can’t sleep over there.”

He cocked his brow at you, “Can you?” 

“Listen, I don’t care what Yuuji says, alright? I don't trust you.”

You immediately covered your mouth as if to take the projectiled words back. You turned back quick enough to see the frown on his face before it was gone before he impassively said, “At least trust him.”

Your eyes held each other's gaze until you refused to be lost in the beautiful unsurety of those dark brown eyes. So you stared back at the moon instead, wondering how you found time crumbling into nothing whenever you looked at him. You were trying to ignore the pangs of your heart, asking it why it had chosen now to fall for this half-human, half-curse you found so utterly captivating. 

Even with your back to him the reflection of him was clear beside you, not willing to leave your side. He was wearing whatever clothes the last guests had left. A black t-shirt and some loose sweatpants, and his hair was loose and silky at his shoulders from his shower, and his skin was still flushed from it, too. 

The image beside you, and the reality behind you caged you in, forcing you to face your true desires and the guilt that was tugging at your gut. He was innocently offering you space beside him to rest and your mind was everywhere else. You couldn’t ignore how seductive he sounded when he spoke this late at night, or how the sight of him reclining against the headboard with his thighs slightly spread like that was so sexually charged it was making your thoughts run wild. 

Without his usual clothing you could see how thick his biceps were, and how broad his chest really was. You longed for him to touch you, to hold you, to explore you so he could learn what being human really meant.

His aura and general demeanour was so undeniably strong it had you wondering how much longer he’d play this game with you, and what he’d do to you if you gave him the opportunity. But a part of you also doubted that he felt that way about you, or anyone for that matter.

“It’s cold over there,” he pressed again, no malice at all, only concern. “Yuuji told me that I'm naturally warmer, it must be because my blood circulates differently…So, you really should come and sleep here next to me.” 

You were freezing in your robe, unwilling to put your tattered uniform back on. So, you finally abandoned the window ledge, “What are you gonna do if I do?”

His face furrowed, “Whatever you want me to do,” he sounded more like he was asking. He'd been around you long enough to pick up on the slither of the nuance aching to be acknowledged.

“I’d rather not hear you complaining any more beside me though.”

“Whatever.”

He cracked you a half-smile, happy to see you finally listening to him, even if you were being a brat about it. “Good.” 

You were sure you caught his gaze on your thighs as you neared the bed. You’d been chalking it up to him being curious, but the way his eyes had lapped over your bare skin tonight held something you could feel in your core. 

“Do you think I don’t notice when you do that? Earlier, too?” you blurted. 

His eyes darted to the door as if he planned to escape or as if Yuuji was about to burst in and declare that he room with him instead, rather than the tall black haired boy he’d been attached to the hip with since they reunited.

“I don’t want to fight with you. Yuuji respects you-“

He looked up at you, those dark eyes alight with something reminiscent of relief and perhaps yearning? His unwavering gaze sent flutters through you, it was like he was taking in every detail and leaving everything else alone.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d acknowledge my question at least.”

He pouted, noticing how your arms were tightly folded and how you were looking down at him with an indecipherable emotion. He hadn’t quite figured that one out yet, he thought, but he liked the look of it on you. It excited him somewhere, somehow. 

“Choso?” Your voice was a soft, hypnotising hum whenever you said his name all honeyed like that.

His mouth went dry as he really took you in. How the moon was creeping in to illuminate your skin, drifting down your throat to where your blood pumped. He briefly questioned whether all of these feelings were because your blood was special? How was it that you glowed like the sun and the moon had gifted you their light? Why were you so attractive to him? 

The bathrobe was much too big for you, the sleeves large and encasing your wrists, but it cinched in your waist. You had such an attractive shape, one that was so different to his own. He’d spent far too long trying to conjure up how you must look in his mind, but he could never form the image. Clothes were always in the way, taunting him, teasing him. 

“Choso!”

“Yeah, yeah-“ His eyes widened as you closed the gap between you both, kneeling tentatively in front of him. He quickly brought his legs to his chest and turned away from you. 

You scoffed, “You’re the one that wanted me over here so bad.”

Blood was thundering in his ears and his skin was burning so hot he feared he was about to explode into a thousand different pieces. He needed to hold himself together because he felt like if he looked at you he’d be doomed. Maybe his worst worries were true, he couldn’t be around humans like you, at his core he was nothing but a curse. What if you caused his body to show him yet another reaction? One that was weird? One you would hate?

“I know,” he mumbled, curling up on his side, he appeared to be shaking slightly, as he rocked his hips every few seconds. He was trying to elevate the pressure building in his lower half that was making him feel like he might burst. “I still do.”

You sighed, leaning over his body to assess his face. “Now you’re just worrying me.” You rested your hand on his forehead and he groaned. 

“Why are you burning up like this? Were you not supposed to shower or something? I don’t see how you’re any different from us in that regard?”

He groaned into his fist, “Ever since I lost my brothers, and I met Yuuji. I've been feeling and experiencing things I never have before. I thought the worst and the best were over. But now, you?” 

He was groaning like he was in pain. “I don’t think I can take it any longer.”

“Hey, calm down.” You bit your lip, “Take what? Should I get Yuuji?”

He quickly shook his head.

“Then I guess I’ll keep my eye on you tonight.”

The bed dipped beside him as you laid down, curling your body up like his. He froze, staring at you and your mouth, your lips looked so soft, he ached to touch them.

“Listen, I’m sorry for snapping at you. It’s not like I don’t trust you.” You paused, “You’re interesting, Choso. I’m just intrigued by you. I don’t know what you think of me, I guess that’s why I want to know why you stare at me like you do?”

His brows pinched together.

“Like earlier?”

“Was I?”

You nuzzled closer to savour the sweet treat of his scent. It was nothing and everything human all at once; sweet, and vaguely like metal.

“Maybe Yuuji hasn’t told you this…but like, you can’t just stare at people's bodies so obviously.”

“Their faces are better?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Got it,” he said slowly, but then he noticed you had nothing under your robe. He wondered if your nipples were hard because he could see goosebumps spreading over your skin.

His eyes settled on the space free from your robe. “And I…was staring at your body?” 

“Yeah.”

Your eyes followed his, watching him grow more shameless by the second. With every doubt you had, a shaky breath or a small noise would escape him, that had you questioning if he felt the same desire for you. Seconds felt like minutes, as Choso allowed his gaze to roam freely of you, as you allowed him to. 

“And…you don’t like that?” he whispered after what felt like forever, making your heart beat faster with all of these stolen whispers.

“You don’t like when I stare?” 

Time slowed and all other sounds ceased to exist to him, he could hear every bat of your lashes, and every hesitant swallow. He was watching you so carefully he barely blinked. “I want you to tell me why.” 

Then you did it, the thing that confirmed everything for him as you clenched your thighs together, ever so slightly. His own were locked firmly together, as he could feel something was happening there that he couldn’t explain. Maybe you were experiencing the same thing, he thought. He didn’t want to grapple with doubt when this might be the only time he had with you like this.

“It’s just not something you should do,” you finally replied, curt and crisp, but the way your voice shook suggested anything but. He could feel the heat emulating from you now. You were on fire, too, or at least he hoped you were, because he was finally at bursting point. 

“I want to show you what you do to me. Do you want to see?”

Your lips parted to speak but before you could he was sitting up and gesturing to the thick bulge in his pants. 

“This. This is mine,” he whispered, leaning in so his breath brushed your neck. “You know what’s happening to me, don’t you?”

You throbbed and pulsed for him, weakened by your desire. “You really are getting used to this whole human thing admirably fast. It’s endearing, honestly. You want sex and you’re already figuring it out?-“

“I don’t want to just get you pregnant-“

The tension broke with your laughter, “That’s not all sex is for, Choso. There’s many ways to do it, did you know that?”

“There’s another way?” 

“Choso, if I show you, you can’t go around telling everybody, okay?”

“Is it special?”

“Not every time. But it can be. Shall I explain first?”

“Yes.”

“People have sex because it feels really good. When a man and a woman have sex, yes, they can produce life. But people have sex mostly because it feels good, are you understanding me here?” 

He nodded, “It can be called fucking too. Sex is sometimes called fucking.”

He leaned closer with his eyes glued to your lips. “How did you know that’s what I wanted?”

You swallowed as he studied your face so intently, “Because you’re hard, right?”

He frowned in confusion, rushing to check his stomach, “Where?”

You couldn’t help but laugh again, “Oh you’re too sweet. Sit back.”

He let go of your hand and leant against the headboard awaiting your next move. You couldn’t help but wonder how long he could remain this composed? 

You carefully lowered yourself on his lap, watching him wince, you knew it was because his cock was probably growing more sensitive by the minute. Due to his abilities, his blood was in a frenzy everywhere.

“You’re curious, aren’t you? About my body?”

Your words were all he needed for his body to act for him, as he reached and ripped your robe open and apart, “Choso,” you stammered, “you should have asked!”

His hand cupped your throat carefully, thumbing your thudding pulse point. “I knew you wanted that. Your heart has been beating like this since you laid down. You want to show me your body too, and you want me to touch it. Explore it. Don’t you?”

He smirked at you, and he looked so gorgeous it hurt.

“You want sex, don’t you? But are you sure you want it with me? I don't know what to do.”

You lifted his chin and smiled, making that primal part of him go even crazier, “It’s okay. I still want it with you, Choso.”

In the rush of the moment he suddenly realised what he wasn’t laying his eyes on, and he gasped as he finally did, though all to himself. “I can touch you?”

You nodded and he worked the robe down your arms, he was mesmerised, brown eyes glimmering in the low light. His breath growing heavier at the sight, “You’re so soft,” he stroked you so gently it turned you into mush. His hands rose up and down the dips of your curves, over and over as he appreciated the unique shape of you. It seemed like he wanted to commit your every breath to memory.

“You’re beautiful,” he said under his breath as he cupped your breasts, rubbing your nipples with his thumbs. “They’re so beautiful…You’re so beautiful.”

He leaned forward to rest his face in your breasts, locking a hand with yours. As he listened to your frenzied heart and toyed with your nipple, mesmerised by your body. 

You ran your fingers through his hair and he moaned softly, pulling away to touch and grab at you all over again. His eyes locked on yours, watching the way you were getting worked up from his every touch. He noticed how much faster your heart beated when his hand stroked down your centre and neared lower. So he paused at your abdomen. 

“You’re…exquisite.” His eyes were in yours like they always were, intense and full of anticipation. “Here, this part of you too.” He was flushed all the way up to his ears. “What do I call it?”

You smirked, “My stomach?”

He was trembling, trying to contain himself. Shaking his head, he asked a wordless question. You smiled, and he took that as assurance to venture further, cupping the hot heat between your legs. “You look so pretty like this, when I’m touching you here,” he whispered, watching your teeth sink into your lip as your arousal drowned his fingertips. 

“My pussy? You’re touching my pussy,” you whispered. “Do you like it?” 

He nodded eagerly, “This is where I put mine?”

“Do you want to?”

He nodded again, “Can I…look at it? Closer?”

“You can do what you want with it, Choso.” You cupped his face, leaning close. “I want you to do whatever feels natural to you.” You kissed along his jaw as you spoke, he quivered at each one. 

“I think you’re more human than you give yourself credit for. A curse might have had its way with me by now and I know you must be bursting to try these new things as they come. So we’re going to do something special first.”

“What?”

“We’re gonna kiss. Kissing is done in all kinds of ways, you kiss your family on the cheek, normally. You kiss lovers on the lips. You kiss people you have sex with on the lips. It feels really good. Got it?”

“You’re going to show me though, aren’t you? You’re going to lead me.”

“Yeah, you ready?”

He nodded, “We’ll close our eyes, and then I’m gonna kiss you, got it? My lips will touch yours, and then you’ll let nature take its course from there. Don’t worry about being too rough with me,” you eyed his hands that were now resting at his sides, “You won’t hurt me. I’m a sorcerer, remember? It would take a lot to do that.”

“Then come here and give me your lips.” He tugged your mouth onto his, your lips meeting his eager ones, you thought he’d need a second to adjust to the sensation, but in a single second you were being slammed down onto your back. He clutched your face in his hands so he could kiss you without any distractions, it felt like he’d never let go. Everytime you moaned, he would too, like every kiss bonded you closer together.

He kissed you like he’d been waiting years for this, rutting his clothed cock into your naked, wet centre. You slid your tongue against his and he started to grunt, and his skin grew so hot against yours you wondered if he might set you both alight.

He was quick, and eager, pulling away to rip away his shirt, but earnest as he grabbed and then placed your hands on him. You made sure he felt your desire too, kissing all over him, finding that sensitive place just under his ear to suck and kiss. But then he was fighting you, just so he could kiss down your throat to get your tits once more, learning and learning.  “I can kiss anywhere?”

“Yeah,” you moaned.

His eyes darkened with lust as he gripped both your breasts, running his teeth all over them and sucking until your blood rose to the surface in the shapes of his lips.

“I saw a lifetime when I saw you. I saw you, and I felt it all. I thought that was your technique, that you were going to lure me in and kill me with your beauty. I was wrong. Thank you for giving me your body. Trust me with it.”

He was gasping against your skin, running his hands up and down like you were about to disappear. And if his words were intense, his actions were even more so. “I want to kiss you forever.” 

You had no idea what to reply to him right now, but there was something so beautiful about how direct he was, he loved his brothers, he knew of emotions, like love and admiration. He knew what he felt for you and he could put it into these words.

Falling for this man was hardly unusual when what you felt was so real. 

“I trust you, Choso. I want you to kiss me for as long as you want to.”

“I can kiss here then?” he said, throwing your thighs over his shoulders as he gripped your hips and leered at your pussy.

“It’s so wet,” he hummed in awe, before he closed the space and kissed it. He let out such a loud groan you had to shush him, but then that was just it. He was sucking all over so your juices could dance through his taste buds. He was licking and sucking on your pussy with so much zeal you were surely louder than he was. 

Choso was learning fast. He knew that you surely couldn’t be this wet like this all the time, he gathered it was because your body was readying itself to take him. Which also meant you wanted to take him, he wanted to take you. He’d yearned for you, he’d adored you. He adored this.

“I could do this forever,” he moaned, the grip bruising on your hips, as he locked you firmly in place so he could explore you. “Those noises of yours. Don’t stop. You won’t stop. I’m telling you not to stop them.”

“Yes Choso!”

He never thought the sound of his name could taste so sweet. He was groaning into you, sucking and licking until your swollen clit rubbing against his lips caught his attention. You prayed he’d be gentle as he spread your lips and looked at you, awaiting your reaction as he gave it a softer flick of his tongue. You shuddered so sweetly, squeezing his shoulders and tugging on his hair. 

“That’s a sensitive part of you, isn’t it?” He chuckled to himself, a grin on his lips, “My sensitive little human.” 

Your eyes widened at the words and he watched as more slick oozed from your throbbing sex. He laughed again, the deep sound reverberating deep in your core, he was so beautiful, so hypnotising. He brushed the hair from his eyes and kissed along your thighs, still keeping you spread. 

“I’ll be gentle with you. I won’t break you unless that’s what you want.”

The pleasure you were experiencing from a half-human half-curse should have been illegal, it probably violated some sorcery law somewhere but you didn’t care. Not when he was somehow saying and doing everything to make you tick. 

He kept licking and sucking until he found what you liked, and noticed the way you were shaking, the way your thighs were squeezing him tight so he didn’t stop. You gripped his hair, moaning his name as you came, the sweet taste filling his mouth until you had to forcibly push him away.

“Don’t keep your sweetness from me. That was all mine,” he grunted, travelling up your body with kisses. He took your face in one hand, his voice softening as he looked at you beaming in your afterglow, “Did I give you too much? Can’t take anymore of me?”  

You shook your head, barely able to catch your breath. “You made me feel so good, Choso, you gave me an orgasm. That’s important in sex, to give your partner orgasms, it’s what just happened.”

His thumb rubbed your lower lip, marvelling at the subtle mark he’d left from biting it earlier, and he smiled, “So you keep stimulating your partner until they can’t take anymore, releasing themselves on you.”

“You catch on fast.”

He grinned, kissing you deeply as he rutted himself into you. “Show me what to do,” he said breathlessly. “I need you, now.”

“Fuck Choso your cock, I can feel it.”

You started to tug down his sweatpants, taking the time to admire how broad and built he was, he really was no different from a human at all. He moaned with every press of your lips on his skin, he’d made them so swollen, kissing and biting on them like he was ravenous.

You released his cock from the confines of his pants and gasped, frozen at the sight. “Are you scared of me? Is it different?”

“No, it’s amazing…” you licked your lip, “It’s just so big.”

The warm weight of his hand landed on your stomach, he rubbed there, reassuring whilst also obviously trying to calculate this himself, “But you want it, don’t you?” he murmured, soft, “So we can make it fit, can’t we? We have enough of this together.”

He was so clumsy as he touched himself it made your heart swell, gathering the slick that was pooling down his cock. He took it, and made sure to cover your pussy in it, pausing when his finger slipped inside of you with ease. But then you moaned so deliciously he found his jaw growing slack, eager to keep pleasing you. 

“That’s why you’ve got this little hole haven’t you? It stretches to fit things inside, so it’s going to fit me inside like it’s doing right now.”

You quickly nodded, beyond fucked out by this man as he continued to stuff his precum into your pussy. “Yes Choso.”

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he grunted, stuffing in more of his fingers to fuck you even better. “Naked and free.” 

“You can put it in now, Choso. It’ll fit. I want it.”

“Because you want me don’t you?”

“Yes Choso.”

You watched him, gripping the base of himself and aligning his heavy cockhead to your opening. His face was lost in pleasure, lost to every sensation, he was beautiful like this too, you thought. 

“Only me?”

“Only you, Choso.”

“Then let me see everything,” he whispered against your forehead, large hands folding you and spreading your thighs wide. “You’re so beautiful. I want to see it all.”

“Please be gentle,” You whimpered, feeling him start to push in, you braced yourself, hanging on to him tight. 

He groaned into your cheek as he felt resistance from you, no matter how good you felt he’d rather die than hurt you. “Is there another way?”

“Lie down.”

He did as you said, watching in awe as you were quick to straddle him, oozing slick all over his thighs. You still wanted him just as much as he wanted you and that excited him to no end. Even if he was a challenge and clearly more than you were used to.

You hovered as you aligned yourself with his cock, and he moaned as you finally touched him. And as you sunk yourself onto his cock he gripped your hips so tight you yelped, before your voice melted into a moan in unison with his.

“More,” he whimpered, as you stopped halfway, panting at the sensation. “Let me in.”

“Trying, Choso.”

“I want to feel all of you. All of your pussy.” His voice was low, and close to breaking as you throbbed on him. 

“That’s it,” he stroked his thumbs in comforting circles, “Are you going to let me feel you?” 

You quickly nodded, teeth sunk into your lip. His voice was as arousing as his cock, “Give me a minute, Choso. I can do it.”

“Does it hurt?”

You nodded and he pondered for a moment before he took his thumb to your clit, rubbing until you moaned. Then slowly, naturally, as if your body was melting into his, you made your way down the thick inches of him.

“You’re doing good, so good for me. You can take all of me inside. You’re strong.” He was so out of his mind he didn’t even know what he was cooing to you, but he just wanted to put you at ease. 

“You pretty little human. Taking my body like this because you want your pussy fucked? Right? You like my cock inside you? Stretching you out?”

“Choso!” You groaned as he fully bottomed out, hands landing on his shoulders for support. “I love it, you feel so good. You’re making me feel so good.”

He whined at your words before composing himself, his lips trailing down your skin. “I am? Are you too weak now? Do you need me to help you feel good? Yuuji said you were a good teacher. He was wrong,” he taunted, kissing the side of your face as he gripped you.

His hands sunk into your ass as their final resting place, appreciating the softness there too, “You need to show me what to do, just once.”

“I can’t,” you whined, tears of pleasure flowing down your cheeks at how full you were. “Look at yourself. Your cock is so big.” You breathlessly gestured to your stomach. 

His eyes widened as he pushed his palm onto your belly, feeling how deeply he was penetrating you, “You have to use me and make yourself feel good. That’s all, Choso.” You barely managed your words, eyes barely open as the pleasure he was giving you threatened to break you apart. 

“I understand. Leave it to me,” he groaned, kissing your neck, as he started to move you off and on his cock, “We move together until we orgasm. You’ve never had a cock like mine so you can’t move, huh?” 

He experimentally snapped his hips into yours and you whimpered so loudly he soon followed. Although he knew nothing of what was lewd and what wasn’t, he somehow knew that the sound you’d made was nothing but filth and that he’d done something you’d desperately needed. 

He did it again and again, until he was drilling up into you and delighting in all of the sounds you were making, gasping from how good you felt. “Choso, your cock feels so good inside. It’s the best.”

“Then you never need another one, if only I make you feel this good. No other cock will ever feel the same,” he grunted, “You’re mine now, you beautiful woman.”

You kissed him messily in reply, barely able to form words as he fucked up into you until you were shaking and moaning into his mouth because you were coming all over him. “Then you’re mine, Choso. I showed you this, how to feel good. It won’t feel good if another human do-“

You gasped as his hand slammed over your mouth and you were on your back once more. He was folding you whilst holding back on finishing in minutes and he didn’t even know how impressive that was.

“Don’t say it. I don’t want another human near me like this. Only you. I told you, I saw you. I saw everything. I know that I’m different. But I can fuck you better, I know I can. You like what I’m doing to your body. I know, I know, I know, you do,” he chanted as he groaned into you, balls smacking hard against you as he ravaged you. 

All you could do was hold tight and brace yourself as you whimpered. 

“Mine, mine, mine. So, so, beautiful,” he grunted.

Tears pricked your water lines at the intensity, you felt so loved, and safe in his embrace like this. 

You could feel him twitching inside of you, and you could see him holding back. “When you orgasm, Choso. Your cum will be different, it will be messier than mine.”

“Is that the stuff that breeds you? It’s going to shoot inside you, isn’t it?” he stammered. “You don’t want it? How do I control it?” 

“You can’t, but that’s okay, I won’t get pregnant, I take something for that. So when you feel like it’s getting too much, give in. You can let go. You’ve already done so well.”

“I can fill you up with my seed?” He stretched your arms above you to take both your hands in a single clasp, cupping your chin with the other. 

“Look at me. Why won’t you get pregnant? Because I’m not fully human?”

There was a sadness in his eyes, but it was being blown out completely by his desire. 

Why was this man so hot without realising it? His brow as all furrowed, his face flushed, fucking you so hard it was now dawning on you how loud you both were being. “It’s a pill I take,” you moaned as he slammed into that spot inside that had you creaming on him again. “I-I told you.”

“Then I’ll pretend,” he grunted, gripping your hips hard as he fucked into you like he was trying to breed you.

“Like I’m going to fuck my seed into you so I can keep you forever. No man can have you if you’re filled with me.”

“I want your cum, Cho!”

“I know you do! You’re a needy little human taking my cock even though it’s too big for you, wanting my cum to fill up your pretty little hole.”

“I want it, I want it,” you moaned into his ear, wrapping your arms around him tighter. Your voice only made it worse, he pinned you down even harder, kissing and licking up your tears. 

He was whimpering now, all of the pressure building in his core, he could feel it, the very sensation you were talking about. “You’re lucky I haven’t split you in two with my strength. But you take it, you take me in your pussy, waiting for every last drop of me.”

The loud smacks of his hips on yours were no louder than your sounds. He was fucking you like he’d never get the chance again. 

“I wish I could breed you. Then everyone would know, I’d know. That you’re mine, all mine,” he was rambling as he came, holding you tight with his tongue down your throat. 

You felt the insane amounts of cum spurting inside of you until the noises were so lewd it was near comical. Until there was so much cum he was slipping out of you and coming all over your stomach and the sheets too. Your name laced in every breath.

He groaned out your name, falling into your arms so could put him back together again. You kissed wherever you could, praising him through your breathlessness. You both rested for several of these precious moments. It seemed like the night had finally calmed outside of the hotel too, as had you both, after purging what had been brewing between you both since you’d first laid eyes on each other.

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” he asked, running his lips across your jaw.

“No, not at all.” You continued to soothe him, running your hands through his hair. “But now we have a whole lot to talk about. I wouldn’t normally fuck someone so soon that I saw a future with.”

He made a little hmph sound, “Why?”

“It normally comes after getting to know someone.”

“We’ll have all the time in the world for that,” he said gently, flipping you below him as he caged you beneath him. 

“Won’t we?” he urged, folding up your thighs as he guided himself back inside. His voice was desperate all over again. “So,” he leant close, his lips brushing yours. He tried to resist, but gave in to taste your lips, taking the time to kiss you with so much unbridled affection it made your chest hurt. Before he finally spoke again, “So, stay alive for me, and I will for you.”

©mrsackermannx: do not repost, plagiarise, translate or modify my works.

[ajje-111]

Pick a Painting: General Messages

Pile 1: Lady in Blue [Two of Swords]

Pile 2: Woman holding man's head [Justice]

Pile 3: Four Women [Ace of Swords]

Pile 4: Two Young Girls [10 of Pentacles]

In usual tarot fashion, please take the following messages as what resonates with you. I hope these messages find you well. With peace and love, Hare Krishna.

-Wind.

Pile 1

Cards: Two of Swords, Two of Pentacles, & 10 of Swords (reversed)

Courage: I find the inner strength to face fear with confidence.

Balance: I bring a state of perfect harmony into my world, and I do so without judgment.

Hello to all the visitors of pile 1. I hope you are well. The colors blue and purple are very vibrant to me in this pile. Many of you may strongly connect to your throat and third eye chakra.

A current situation in your life is affecting these deeply connected qualities, specifically your ability to communicate. You are on the fence about how to approach a certain situation because you are unsure of the consequences that it may lead to. I picture someone biting their tongue a little before speaking up to someone who has a big say in their future.

You will be turning inward and taking this situation personally because it has triggered deep emotions within you that were unaware of.

Although I see you being able to find the courage and strength needed to restore balance in this situation, I do not see it happening without deep reflection beforehand.

If there is something that brings out uncontrollable emotions in you, listen to them. Our body reacts to all stimuli, not only physical but also emotional. Learn how to find balance in this situation.

Song: "Dem Haters (feat. Dwane Husbands)" - Rihanna

I hope this helps, be well. Thank you :)

Pile 2

Cards: Justice, Queen of Swords, Seven of Cups, & Six of Swords.

Failure: I understand that a mistake is only an opportunity to learn.

Perseverance: I know that I can do whatever I set my mind to.

Hello pile 2 visitors, I hope you are well. Purple is the color for you, embodying a sense of high knowing and openness of your crown and third-eye chakras. Very beautiful energy that you have created within yourself. I sense that many of you make sure that your thoughts are clear so you can operate throughout the day as efficiently as you'd like.

The message here is not for all of you, so please take what resonates with you. If you feel it does not apply to your well-being I suggest you stop reading. This message is for those who have left a certain situation in the dust. There is a person or situation that is showing me your complete disengagement. Much like the painting, you hold the dead head of whatever it is that you have left. Only you will know what that is.

I sense you feel that this situation was a failure, but I see you choosing to believe that it was not a waste of time. You're taking this fall out and learning from it, you're moving on to a better place and imagining what awaits you next.

Either way, this situation or person that you have decided to disengage with is the right decision. For some of you, I see karma dealing its cards in your favor. Continue to do what feels right for you.

Confirmation from your guides that you are on the right path.

Song: "Free Mind" - Tems

I hope this helps, be well. Thank you :)

Pile 3

Cards: Ace of Swords, Eight of Swords, Eight of Wands, Two of Pentacles, and Two of Swords.

Honesty: I can't always expect the truth from others, but I can expect it from myself.

Peace: I am a being of love, and I release all negative energy.

Hello pile 3 visitors, this pile is very in tune with the universe I can tell by the synchronicities within the cards. During my initial shuffle, I was supposed to only take one card but for your pile two came out.

I see honesty and peace being key ideas that you hold with your heart. If there is anything that poses a challenge to you I see that you do not take action without regarding your honesty and peace first. I see this to the point of you virtually not engaging with negativity at all for the sake of your own being. Which I totally understand, sometimes I have to do this myself. Not every opinion needs a thesis written about it.

I digress, your message here is that there is a certain aspect of your life that provides stability to you, it could be a job, relationship, pet, house, I don't know but it shows up as something that gifts you new ideas the more you engage and invest into it. This aspect restrains your creativity and restricts you from expressing ideas of honesty and peace. Similar to the painting, you feel claustrophobic in the world you're in and brings out a different side of your honesty and appears defensive.

I see that this situation or aspect of your life has caused you to not express yourself in the most peaceful of ways, but you see that as a sacrifice willing to take to be an honest person. You will not lie.

Some of you will leave this situation as is, you tell yourself you did all you could. You may be right.

Others of you will feel a sense of regret and guilt, remember that the past does not define you. You can move past this if you find it within yourself to be honest about the situation and see it for what it is.

You may be a water sign.

Song: "Wake Up Alone" - Amy Winehouse

That's all, be well. Thank you :)

Pile 4

Cards: Ten of Pentacles, Three of Swords, Three of Wands, Five of Pentacles, Five of Cups, & Two of Cups

Death: I am learning that endings are merely beginnings

Relationships: I am attracted to those people who serve my higher good.

Blame: I accept responsibility for my well-being

Hello, pile 4 visitors, a lot of messages I got for this pile specifically. I don't pull many cards out for my readings. But there was no need the cards honestly flew right out. Off the bat, this tells me that you are a very expressive person who doesn't hold any of it back and honestly refuses to. Some of you may be performers as a career or side hustle. Either way, this pile attracts those who are very creatively defined, talented, and intelligent.

Your message is that there may be something you've invested in that is not working out how you initially thought it would. For many of you, there was actual money involved. Some of you may have lost a large sum of money but that is not a message for everyone.

There is a project you are working on that requires you to be on 10 all the time. This means discipline, and you're only human but this project requires 100% focus and it shows up to me as draining, but it ultimately invests into your 10 pentacles, which is the abundance of your life. You see this investment as worth it even if you may have lost something of value or importance to you. Do not dwell on loss if you did lose a large sum of money. Think of the law of attraction, if you worry about what it is you don't want, all you will receive is exactly that.

A strong message to keep moving forward, reflect on how you're showing up in your relationships. Continue to connect to loved ones as they will remind you of who you are.

Song: "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" - Whitney Houston

That is all I have for you, be well. Thank you :)

[disruptivevoib]

Long Ramble about CCCC and my overall feelings on what the album means and such

Something I find important about CCCC is like.

The fact that all three of them are, in some way, trying.

Heart is emotion, he is prone to himself and being reactionary, in the moment. Prone to the past of learned behavior and trauma. Reactive and rapidly changing. He isn't going to make pure sense because he isn't based in logic or in societal ideals or views. He is an instinctual response to the environment and circumstances. His manipulation is not intentional. He has very little control of himself in the end. Its why Mind talks about claiming to relish entropy yet clearly needing help. But, Heart in earnest wants them to be okay and safe. He believes that Mind's control will drain the life from them. It will make things monotonous and the same. Too much order.

Mind in turn, believes Heart is manipulative with intention. He wants to control Soul or wants to just drag them all down with him into this depressive state. Mind is logic, he is the reasoning out of your emotional instinct. Your inner critique, and when unchecked, that inner critique goes from a guiding hand for your emotion to one that debates and bullies it. Invalidating its responses. Ultimately, though. Mind just believes he is helping. He is doing what must be done and telling the "hard truths" to Heart. And that Heart is being the petty child. Which- I mean. Sort of sure. But Mind is definitely fucking petty and childish. He's stubborn! Prideful! So ofc he is. Admitting you're wrong? No.. why would he EVER do that.. nuh uh.

Which is what makes Light so crucial. Mind asking Heart for help- but also. There is Soul.

Who while ambiguous in purpose, is mostly that background voice. Your inner narration. If Mind is Logic and Reason then Heart is Emotion and Instinct,, Soul is all that lives between it. And he is constantly silenced or spoken over or around. He does not get a word in edgewise until TSE. He may show up in the background occasionally but as much as Heart and Mind claim to want to keep him alive and help him, they also fail to actually acknowledge what he says.

Which is that they both are right and wrong. That this fighting is doing directly what they both feared it would. Soul is desperate by the end. He is angry and resentful because.. well. Self hatred due to intense self awareness and reflection is rather ig. Common. Im not a professional here but from personal experience, you get so tired of rehashing the same shit with yourself over and over. It all feels pointless.

The only out, by the end of it all to Soul is that if they cannot be Whole, whats the point? He is desperate. He does not want to die but he feels theres no other solution.

And. About Whole, Soul throughout the album seems to want that. At the beginning, to be Whole or Harmonious is to be mentally healthy, maybe even "normal" by society's standards. To be able to put a mask over your problems and be, again, "normal". It takes the entire album for Soul to realize that this:

1. isnt possible

And

2. There isn't anything evil or wrong with him for that.

Mental health is a struggle. But you are not evil and should not be othered because you struggle. You also do not need to be fixed for being a little different and people's opinion of you is not what matters most so long as you are happy (and not hurting others. Lol).

Thats what Two Wuv is entirely about as a song. Its a "fuck you. Fuck this! I thought I needed to be this! But I DON'T. Stop telling me who I am! How to be! I'm gonna be me!"

His entire arc is parallel to Heart and Mind's and is crucial in the culmination of becoming yourself again and accepting yourself.

But, as mental health will always be, this period of respite and self acceptance is not always forever. And as life continues or as you lapse back into a depressive episode.. you cannot help but forget what it is like when you're not this way- and hell! Vice versa too! Some people have this disconnect between the periods. Where the things from the depressive state seem dramatic or obtuse to you while you are doing better. And from the other end, you just want to be happy again.. but you get so lost in it all you can struggle to feel like you've ever been happy.

The album is about the human experience. It is about self-sabotage, mental illness, self-hatred and reflection and it is, maybe more importantly about self-acceptance and healing. Having a bit of mercy on yourself. Accepting that you are imperfect and that this is okay. And whatever flaws you may have that need to be mended or worked on, can be. And that who you are, for example, if you are queer, is okay. And no one has the right to take that identity from you! That the internalized ideas of how someone should be are not always correct or right. Not for you, at least. Stuff like that.