#redeemable-for-surgery

[mourningmaybells]

I really need to list down the pillars of (the cult of) clairvoyant kings sometime.... i keep forgetting

[samkerrworshipper]

narcotics | arsenal x reader

summary: reader has a drug problem.. her arsenal teammates help her to realise and overcome it

warnings: mentions of drugs use and abuse

this was so tough to write for me and hit home sooo fucking hard buttt also very fulfilling so i hope you enjoy

You’d never intended for it to get this bad.

Injury, surgery, recovery, drugs.

So many drugs.

That was what happened when you had major surgery, when you were an athlete, they showered you with every single kind of drug that they could, to distract from the pain and to try and start the recovery process as soon as possible. It was good, especially post surgery when you felt absolutely no pain, it was great, and it allowed you to be a lot more mobile after the operation than you would have been if you hadn't been medicated.

It was good, being pain free was so incredibly good.

That was all you could focus on, your whole recovery revolved around being pain free, tearing your tricep was a pain in the ass, but as far as football was regarded, you were hopeful to return to the pitch as soon as possible.

You didn’t need your arm to kick a football or play on the pitch, so the whole entire focus of your recovery was to make the pain bearable so you could return to the field as soon as possible.

For this reason, the doctors just kept refilling your scripts, handing you bottles and bottles upon pills, it was their job to get you back on the field to help Arsenal redeem themselves from the fall from the champions league.

You were back on the pitch in three weeks, which was almost psychotic considering that your tricep scars were still bandaged and covered in gauze.

It was procedural for you, you fell into a routine of relying on the drugs to get you through a game, to take off the edge of the pain that originated in your arm.

It was fine, it was good.

For months, the doctors filled the bottles for you, they kept filling them, past the point of where you medically needed them anymore, it was just routine for you, just a part of your day.

You woke up, and you took pills with your morning protein shake and breakfast, then you car pooled to London Colney with Beth and Viv. Once you arrived at training you ate a protein bar, which you consumed another set of pills with. Then typically as a team there would be a morning gym session, after gym there was lunch, where you would consume another set of pills. Then there was training, afterwards before recovery you inhaled another set of pills.

It didn’t really worry you, you needed the pills, they were the reason you were able to play, they were the only thing that was keeping you on the pitch.

It felt that way to you at least, even if you were months past the injury, it just felt like you needed them, that without them you would be hopeless.

So, even as the weeks passed by you continued your routine, but as every day passed by it was clear that your teammates were becoming more aware of your reliance, the concern and questions becoming far more frequent.

You insisted that you were fine, that it was the doctor's orders, even if the doctor had told you months ago that you needed to eventually wean yourself off the pills.

He was the same doctor though who continued to fill your scripts and hand you pills like they were candies.

Eventually you would stop, you would, some time, it was just something to get you through the day, something to make it easier for you to deal with everything that was happening in your life.

The first time the word addiction was thrown at you was in the most abnormal situation.

You were sitting in the locker rooms, early on a wednesday morning the likes of Katie, Jen, Beth and Alessia surrounding you as you all casually joked around.

It was all common conversation, trivial basic stuff, until Katie pivoted towards you, her whole body turning in your direction as she sent a question your way.

“Y/n, is there any history of addiction in your family?”

It’s spoken so casually, and for whatever reason you’re the only person in the group taking a double take over what she’d just asked you.

Everybody else was just kind of waiting for your answer, all eyes on you as they watched on carefully.

“No, why?”

Katie just nods her head, her eyes not leaving you and the curiosity in them.

“Just curious, Less and I were talking earlier about it, one of her cousins struggled with it majorly after having surgery, just interesting to think about, it’s just a really tough topic.”

It was blatantly obvious that there was an underlying message underneath her words, at the time though you had been completely oblivious to it.

“Yeah, well I couldn’t give any info on that, both of my parents were in the army and were as clean as whistles, my two brothers were the same, and as far as my aunts and uncles go I’m fairly certain they’ve never touched any drugs beyond paracetamol and tylenol.”

Your words are measured, calculated, trying to decrypt the overarching question lying beneath the surface of Katie’s random spiel.

“It’s definitely interesting to think about, considering how many surgeries our team has encountered in the last little while.”

Katie is digging around, for something, but you aren’t quite sure what.

“I’m not the one to ask about it, Viv and Beth are the ones who have been doing all the research.”

Katie seems to get the message that you don’t want to talk, but you can’t ignore the way she continues to look at you with a mixture of concern and annoyance whilst you tugged on your uniform and trainers.

When you thought her eyes had slipped from you, you turned into your locker, taking a sip of water before pulling two pills from your bag and slipping them past your lips as discreetly as you could.

You thought you were discreet, but when you turned back around to head out of the rooms and into the gym, and realised that all of your teammates' eyes were on you, you realised that this whole ordeal had become quite the spectacle.

You ignored the on looking eyes, especially those of Katie and Beth’s, which were practically burning holes through your body.

You avoided their eye contact, knowing that if you met their eyes it would give them a space to confront you, something which you were looking to avoid for as long as possible.

You somehow managed to make it into the gym without any further troubles, but when you did make it inside the gym you were met with some similar looks from your teammates and captains who were already occupying the space.

You got straight into your program, your mind reeling about how exactly your teammates had come to the point of pretty much accusing you of addiction.

You weren’t addicted.

You just needed the pills to take the edge off, there was nothing wrong with knowing your body's limit. Sure, you’d been told it was safest to start weaning off them after about a month on them, but you needed them, you needed them to be the same you, the old you, the pre-injury you.

You weren’t an addict, addicts were frantic and uncontrolled and definitely couldn’t play football.

The gym plan for you was fairly simple, a lot of tricep exercises and some upper body work that you finished off fairly quickly, within the hour you were heading back to the locker rooms, to grab your jumper and some pills before heading off to the lunch room to see what the chefs had cooked up today.

Kim, Leah, Katie, Viv, Beth and Jen were all sitting inside the rooms, the six of them hushedly talking between themselves. You did your best to ignore them, beelining straight towards your locker, throwing on your hoodie first before reaching into the pocket in your bag where you’d left the container early.

You felt around, confused for a few seconds when you didn’t immediately feel it.

You shoved your hand deep into the pocket, again your fingers touched nothing but the mesh of the inside pocket in your bag. At this stage, your hands begin to shake, you pull your hand out of the empty pocket, maybe you put them somewhere else.

You begin to rifle through your bag, searching incessantly for the one pill bottle that you need so desperately.

It’s not in your bag, three searches confirm that.

Maybe it’s fallen into your locker somewhere?

You pull out your things from the cube, searching desperately for your sweet relief.

This can’t seriously be happening, how the fuck could you have possibly lost them?

“Kid, what are you looking for?”

You ignore Beth’s question, continuing to toss your locker, even though it’s blatantly obvious that they aren’t hiding anywhere, they’re gone.

“Kid, what’s wrong?”

You pivot on your heel to address Beth, but your eyes are glued to Leah’s hands, or more so what Leah has resting in her hands.

The little orange bottle, the sacred fucking bottle.

“This whatcha looking for?”

You try your very hardest not to slip up, not to give it away too much, not when it’s very likely that whatever this is, it’s a test.

“Why have you got my pills?”

You decide to pivot with a question, it seems like the best decision.

“Why are you still on pills?”

Leah’s words are cut throat, they hit you hard.

“Because of my surgery.”

It’s an ominous answer, maybe it’ll save you from the vice captain's anger, maybe it won’t.

“You had surgery four months ago.”

Leah’s words, whilst they are a statement, hold questioning behind them.

“I don’t see how anything between my doctor and myself matters to you, he’s given me a script for medication, one that I use.”

It’s definitely the wrong thing to say, Leah looks offended, Kim looks like she’s about to kill you, Beth and Viv just look sad, Katie and Jen look like they don’t really know what to say.

“It’s not our fucking business? You should have been off pills three months ago, it’s my blood business to know when my teammates are continuing to take drugs way past the point of it being logical.”

Kim’s voice is angry, but not the kind of anger where it’s directed at you, it’s more the kind of angry where she clearly wants answers that you aren’t giving her.

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you, my doctors fill my scripts, beyond that it’s none of your business what I take and don’t take to get through sessions.”

Kim’s face scrunches up, Leah’s looks similar, it’s funny to you sometimes how similarly they captain.

“You haven’t had any complications, you should have been completely pain free months ago, why do you still need pills? Why do you need them so frequently? Don’t think that we all haven’t realised how often you are taking them, you’re going through them like a bag of candies, it’s not healthy.”

Kim’s right, it leaves you a little bit gobsmacked and takes you a little bit to recover from what she’s saying to you.

“I’m playing well, am I not? Beyond how I am playing on the pitch it’s none of your fucking business.”

When you think about it, swearing at Kim was possibly the stupidest thing you could have done, but you suppose there isn’t any coming back from it now.

“It’s not my fucking business? Beyond being your captain I give a shit about your health and mental wellbeing, so when I see one of my best mates and teammates looking like they are fucking addicted then I am allowed to ask questions, questions that you are going to answer or else we will be having a very different conversation, one that includes Jonas and the medical staff and I promise you that it will end with a very different result.”

Kim’s words hit you right in the chest, you force yourself to take a seat, looking at the six women and taking in the guilty look across both Viv, Katie, Beth and Jen’s faces.

“You guys fucking ratted on me, for nothing? I’m not fucking addicted, people who are addicted are frantic and stupid and fucking unhinged. Do you think if I had a pill addiction that I’d be able to play, do you think I’d be able to do half the things we do if I had an addiction, I just need them to get me through the day, to get me through the work outs.”

Your justification is weak, you know that, but you still believe in what you are saying, you don’t have a problem.

Kim’s face deflates, it looks like whatever she is about to say is going to be a lot more emotional and heavy then you are prepared for.

“Kid, you have a problem. How you manage to do it all baffles me, truly, you should not need pills to be getting you through the day, not when you are in recovery, not when your tricep is almost fully healed, Beth and Katie told me about it because they are genuinely worried, I am too. We’re all here for you, whatever you need.”

You shake your head, you don’t need help, you don’t need support, what you need is your fucking pills back.

“Can I have my fucking pills back?”

Leah shoves the bottle into her pocket, you know that you aren’t getting them back but it was worth a try.

“Are you fucking serious?”

It’s apparently Katie’s turn to be the bad cop.

“They fucking belong to me.”

Katie looks absolutely fuming, if it wasn’t for the whole situation you were in you would probably laugh about it.

“Not anymore they don’t, you’ve lost that fucking priviledge. This is how it’s going to go from now on. You’re going to move in with Beth and Viv for now, Lia’s searching your apartment as we speak, you’re done with pills, no more, you’re cut off. You’re going to get a fucking handle on your life and all of this shit or else you’ll be benched and sent to rehab or wherever Jonas thinks is the best place for you to sort out your fucking addiction, because that’s what this is. You can’t survive four hours without slipping some pills, that is seriously fucking concerning and all of us are so fucking worried about you. If you want to continue playing then there are going to be a whole set of rules and conditions because this can’t keep going, it’s unsafe.”

All the other women nod along with Katie’s words, you realised that you are definitely fucked.

“I’m a fucking adult, you guys have no right to be doing this to me, I don’t have a fucking problem.”

Katie rolls her eyes, standing up from her seat to walk over to you.

“Kid I am so sorry none of us realised earlier, maybe if we had it wouldn’t have been so bad, but you have to understand how bad it is, you should not be reliant on drugs that are prescribed to a person after a serious surgery, your attached. Not all addicts are frantic, you definitely aren’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have a problem and if you don’t stop it now, you never will. We all want to help you, however you need.”

You don’t really know what to do, everything Katie is saying hits you so hard, you can’t help but let tears fall, they’re wrong, you don’t have a problem, you need the pills, how are you supposed to be okay without them?

“Please, just give me the pills, I’ll do whatever you want, please, I need them, I’ll do anything please just give them back.”

Katie wraps you up in her arms, so tight that you worry about your ability to breathe, it makes everything stop for a few seconds, you forget about the pills, forget about how much internal pain you are struggling with.

“You know I can’t do that kid. How about we get you home? I don’t think you're in the mindset to train, Viv and Beth will leave with you, they’ll take you back to theirs whilst we finish up here for the day and then we’ll all have a chat about it later, okay?”

You pull yourself out of Katie’s arms, your face in a deep frown.

“You don’t understand, I fucking need them, I can’t live without them, what am I supposed to do without them? This is fucking crazy how am I supposed to play when you’re all forcing me to go cold turkey on the one thing that I rely on most.”

Katie’s hands move to your shoulders, planting themselves down firmly on you.

“No you don’t. It’s going to be a hard adjustment but it’s for the best. If we’re right and you are addicted, you’ll go through withdrawals, it’ll suck, but we’ll be here for you through it, we’re here to kick you in the ass but pick you up when you are hurting, we’re here for whatever you need.”

In a split second decision you lunge forward and directly at Leah, the blonde doesn’t expect it, and definitely doesn’t expect you to reach right for the pocket that you’d previously seen Leah push the pills in.

You don’t really know what your plans where for once you’d managed to obtain the bottle, but you knew one thing, you needed those pills and Leah was standing in the way of that.

Within seconds Jen and Kim’s arms were linked around yours, pulling your desperate form off of Leah.

“Please-Fuck please just give them to me, I’ll do whatever you need, please, I need them. I don’t need you guys, you guys don’t give a shit about me, I’m fine, I don’t want our help, just give me the drugs and leave me be, I’ll be fine, I’m always fine, I don’t need you guys. J-Just give me the pills and I’ll leave, I’ll never bother you guys again. ”

Kim managed to tug you completely away from Leah, whilst the older woman is significantly smaller than you, she was far stronger and you stood absolutely no chance against her.

You ragdolled in an attempt to make it harder for Kim, she replied to that by dragging your limp body up onto a seat, resting both of her hands on your soldiers just like Katie had, except for the fact that instead of Kim’s face being one of care and genuity, hers was stern and concerned.

“You don’t get to do this. You do not get to push us away because you want a fucking dose of drugs. We are family, family means so much more than some stupid object and the kid who worked her way here through the academy would have told me the exact same eight months ago. I know you have been through a lot, I know this injury has sucked, I know that you are going through a lot but you can’t push family away. We’re going to be here for you when you are at your biggest high and your lowest low, we are here through thick and thin. I can stand for you breaking down at ever minute of everyday if it means that we can help you, you can hurt us all as much as you want and we will continue to come back because whilst you might think that you are breaking us, you aren’t.”

Kim’s words just send tears running down your face and sobs coming out of your mouth.

Everything from the last hour is barreling directly at you, the realisation that maybe you aren’t as fine as you’ve been telling yourself, even if it feels wrong, you know what they are telling you makes sense, it hurts way more admitting that to yourself though.

Kim removes her arms from your shoulders, reaching for your torso and bringing you into another big hug, it’s suffocatingly painful and you swear that your skin prickles with the contact.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m sorry.”

You don’t know what you are sorry for, which probably makes the apology pointless, but it feels like it needs to be said, like you need to make some kind of attempt to recognise your wrongdoing.

“It’s okay kid, we’ve got you, it’s going to be okay, we’re all here for you, let’s get you back to Beth’s, hmm? I think you could do with a good nap and a proper feed. You’ve been working yourself to the bone, it’s time to let yourself rest. Take it from me, this whole routine you have for yourself, the over working, the pills, it’s only so long before you completely burn yourself out and trust a woman who’s been there, that is the last possible thing you could want, especially considering you are so young.”

Kim’s opinion and words are gospel to you, being another midfielder ever since you’d become a part of the arsenal senior team you hung onto every single word that she spoke, so having the Kim Little calling you family, it was something else completely.

“Please, just take me home.”

Kim nods, pulling back from you to reach into your locker to grab your bag before handing it over to Beth who gives you a little smile, it doesn’t quite reach her eyes though, that’s how you know that whatever is happening, it’s not good at all.

You try your hardest to wipe away the tears with the sleeve of your hoodie, but it’s a losing battle, the salty liquid continuing to flow freely down your cheeks.

Viv replaces Kim, her arm flinging itself over your shoulders and shielding you from the outside world.

Without much fuss the couple pulls you out of the locker rooms and as quickly as they can towards the car park and back to the same car you’d arrived in this morning, this time though it’s so much harder, it feels nearly impossible, especially knowing that instead of the normal routine that entails the couple dropping you back to your apartment, this time you are going back to theirs.

Normally, you’re very happy to participate in a dinner or game night with the duet, but you know what going back to Viv and Beth’s means, it means accountability, change, pain, things you aren’t really sure if you’re ready for.

Viv makes the decision to slide into the back seat with you, a constant comfort as you try to navigate exactly what has just happened.

The ride to Viv’s and Beth’s is a blur, Viv drags you out of the backseat and into the elevator, then into their apartment.

You're too lost to do much more than let Viv lead you to the couch dropping Myle into your lap, who is apparently more than happy to cuddle up under the blanket that Beth throws at you.

All you can think about is what your teammates had to say. About the nights where you’d doubled up on pills to mask the mental pain of all the pressure you were taking on of leading a midfield without Kim, about how you felt like you would cripple up and break if you went a day without your pills, about how for the last few months the highlights of your day has been the pills in the bottle instead of the people around you, about how you’ve been finding more happiness in drugs instead of the life you are living, about how your whole life revolves around pain meds which you didn’t even need anymore.

Addicted wasn’t a word you had ever used in a sentence with you and drugs before, but now, it’s all that you can think about.

Addiction.

It had never been a possibility for you, how could you be addicted? Nobody you knew had ever had problems with pills, you’d done countless injuries including pain meds and never had a problem. No injury you’d ever done had such a negative reception though, the fans were fuming, your teammates were stressed, you were pressured. You needed to recover, for the good of everybody, pain meds were the way to get through that so you’d taken them, to fix all of the problems.

That was the reasoning your brain was using, it wasn’t perfect, but it made enough sense.

Beth sat down next to you and you felt at peace enough to meet her eyes.

They were calmer than before, you felt similarly, calmer, less like you were at war with yourself.

“I was so stupid that I didn’t even realise, I thought I was doing fine, I was so fucking stupid.”

Beth takes a deep gulp of air before she says anything, it’s hard to watch somebody who you’ve come to care about so dearly look like they are struggling so heavily to communicate with you.

“You’re not stupid. It’s not your fault. A lot of people enabled this to keep happening and you couldn’t have known better, what matters most is we are here for you now, the sooner before the later.”

You nod along to Beth, bringing a asleep Myle up to your chest and clutching onto him, the puppy is so soft, a big contrast to how you feel at the moment.

“I didn’t want to let everyone down.”

Beth sighs an oh so familiar sigh, the same sigh you heard every single time someone out of the acl crew mentioned how they felt like they were a burden or a problem or like they were letting the team down.

“You could never let any of us down, not really, sure we’re all very worried about you, but shit happens, life fucking happens. Every single day we all struggle, every person on this world, life is a bitch and the worst part is that we have people holding us accountable for it every single day. Fans, social media, teammates, we don’t get a break, even when we need it the very most. As teammates, it's our job to love you no matter what anybody is saying, you are different to every single human on earth, you have different needs, you don’t have to try to be someone you aren’t, we love you best when you try not to. Do not think for a moment that you will ever disappoint us, sure we can be angry and annoyed and disappointed with your actions but never you directly. We all love you no matter what, just be whoever you need to, not who you think everyone needs you too.”

You don’t know what to say, so you chose to say silent for a few seconds, really observing what Beth has just said, the complete honesty behind her words.

“I want to do better for you guys Beth, I don’t want to be reliant on drugs that I don’t need, I just don’t know how to live without them.”

Beth nods, her eyes all glazed and watery.

“Then we’ll help you, we’ll do whatever is necessary to help you, just let us in, let us be there for you.”

[homestylehughes]

But Daddy I Love Him

instagram au.

♥︎ luke hughes x zegras! sister

♥︎ face claim: marsai martin

"He was chaos, he was revelry, bedroom eyes like a remedy"

yn.zegras

liked by lhughes_06, your.bsf and 165,908 others

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↳ yn.zegras having shoulder surgery is crazy, but look what happened to you?

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-----------------------------------♡-----------------------------------------

an: hey peopleeee... IM SO SORRY I LEFT. I'm back. I missed you guys. please forgive me PLEASEEEEE. new chapter, I haven't put anything out for this series in a WHILE, so I thought I'd redeem myself by starting here.. I hope you all enjoy, I hope you all are healthy and well. much love as always <3

tags🎀: @lukey-pookie-hughes43 @bruinsfan234 @bunbunbl0gs

[lookingforhappy]

Hi! I just wanted to say I really like your blog and the ideas you have for TUA. I have a question if you don't mind? If you've read the comics (I just got to read You Look Like Death and....my head hurt alot after) is there anything you wished they had kept from the comics for the show or vice versa? Personally I wish they had kept Luther and Five being twins in the show. I get why they chose not to do so but come on.

Five doesn't get his dog and then he also doesn't get his biological brother? I love the Pub scene from season 2 and it would have fit really well for them to learn it (just my opinion)

Thank you and I hope you have a lovely day! :)

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy my ideas!! I love asks lmao so no problem at all!

I have read the mainline comics and a few spin offs (the Diego & Vanya band AU one comes to mind??) but I'm a show main sadly. I like the comics as an informant to the show, so generally I prefer how the show depicted things.

I do want to briefly (edit: it was not brief... i am so sorry) talk about the Five DNA thing because that's one of the things I love in the show.

in the comics Five is genetically altered by the commission

this only works in the comics for me because every character is an asshole, Five especially (he literally prefaces this moment by bragging that he's fucked a lot of women). So for Five to have this excuse? to show horror at the very idea? that's a redeeming quality.

but in the show, they make every character likeable to an extent (recall that in the comics Allison rumours Luther into loving her), so this wouldn't have the same impact because it just makes Five less of his own person - removes the agency from his actions.

Five in the show is someone forced into a corner, and his actions in accepting and carrying out his job as an assassin, as well as his willingness to kill innocents and his own brother throughout s1 show how his experiences have made him desperate and ruthless in his pursuit of love and happiness.

it's a psychological exploration/study.

which to me, is infinitely more interesting. Five doesn't kill the board because his DNA dictates he will, he kills them because he chooses to. He is not cruel because his DNA dictates it, he is cruel because his experiences have made him that way.

and I think overall, this approach is adapted very nicely to fit the tone of the show, as all the same beats are hit. Five has been made into the Commission's killing machine against his will, and he is resentful of it,

but that doesn't mean he can undo the damage done, his psyche is forever attuned to this line of thinking no matter how much he hates it he doesn't know how to break the cycle of violence inflicted on him,

but because Five hasn't been genetically altered, he is fully responsible for his actions and he has to live with that.

the DNA altering in the show would feel like a cop out to me. and also the interesting aspect from the DNA altering is that he is essentially made into a psychopath (most famous serial killers are - Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer, etc.), which means removing his empathy.

because despite his dislike of the non-consenual genetic surgery, comics!five doesn't have empathy.

and show!Five is interesting because he has so much empathy, yet he remains a killer. he is never given the opportunity to use that for good.

without that empathy we wouldn't get scenes like this where he admits guilt,

and in all honesty, isn't it more interesting that the best and most prolific killer in the show possesses a large amount of empathy?

idk sorry I got sidetracked - I've seen a lot of people who say they prefer the DNA plot of the comics and I just feel like it's very contradictory to what a lot of people love about Five.

anyway, the only element of the DNA plotline that i'd want to see adapted further is the non-consenual surgery itself

largely because I love Five!whump and despite comics!Five claiming it was painless it's fairly obvious to see that it wasn't (and I love when this is expanded on in fics so much - no time, no time, dear brother o' mine is an amazing read because it deals with this)

but I also think it would do a good job at reinstating the commission as the villians they are rather than the weird, nebulous thing it currently sits as (Five would never entrust Herb or Dot to the Commission it's so ooc and it's canon??? Dot and Herb were both 100% in support of the commission's ethos, even if Herb was a bit shit at his job. Dot literally was in charge of the apocalypse and saw Five arrive & at no point thought that this was fucked actually).

plus, we already know they waited until Five was hopeless, alcoholic potentially passively suicidal, weak both physically and mentally, desperate. all likely to better control him.

what's to say they didn't also pick up him just in time to prevent his death? 45 years in a polluted wasteland can't be good on the body - and I don't about the general population, but most of the people I know in their 50s aren't fully grey. the stress was probably killing him all on its own.

they could have seen his death and gone back a few years/months/days to recruit him. but then that would mean they still have to fix whatever illness was killing him, and how do you do that? surgery.

perhaps that's how they recuit all of their agents. maybe that's how they get away with it not disturbing the timeline, take someone who was going to die anyway, and then force them into a debt of gratitude for saving their lives. idk.

I also think AJ was criminally underused. He's supposed to be the big bad of the commission, his character was originally adapted into the Handler but then they decided they wanted his design in the show or something.

I think his role in the comics is much more interesting, as a person who selected Five from a line up of assassins already in the commission and gave Five personal training, and assigned him to the JFK case,

I think he could have been adapted a lot better than he was, and like the surgery, he could have steered the commission back towards the villains they were always supposed to be - instead of The Handler (as amazing as Kate Walsh is to watch on screen I love her) we could have had AJ manipulating Five throughout s2.

as for Five & Luther, I don't mind them not being twins, because honestly their genetics are so different (Aidan is 20 something and he's probably going to stay at 5'5" while Tom is like 6'5", plus hair colour, skin tone, bone structure etc.) and we already know that they weren't planning on making them twins from the pilot script (Five is born a singleton to a polish teenager I believe).

I do think it would have been fun to repurpose this plotpoint for another pair. of the Umbrella's I actually think Five and Viktor pair quite well as they both have similar heights, hair colour, they both have that square jaw too. but I also think that this could have been an interesting way to give depth to the sparrows - Jayme and Alphonso could have been the twins.

Pennycrumb was... a let down? I don't think he should have been a big part of Five's character, but I also don't think he should have had 0 affect on it either.

otherwise??? honestly Hotel Oblivion was wayyy more interesting in the comics than in the show. I would have preferred something more in line with the comics but I think they were afraid of the classic horror elements and the classic superhero elements.

like the faceless bus boy guards

the hotel rooms, seemingly ordinary, being prison cells

the prisoners having enough freedom to move around the hotel and have relationships with each other but not enough to feel safe hanging around the hotel

i just.. i wish more of this had been incorporated into the show.

also.. art deco buildings.. my beloveds

this could have been the hotel Oblivion..

like ik they planned to go to japan to film s3 and that got fucked over by covid but like.. art deco is such a good aesthetic for a horror setting compared to the japanese style hotel we got (i've heard it called hotel orientalism as well so, theres that too).

if I had been in charge I would have had s3 focus on the mothers, develop their stories & why the umbrellas were given up for adoption & then linked this all to the 43 being the 16 instead. have the reveal be not that theyre dead but missing, non existant. because the children were taken by hargreeves to power Oblivion. if we somehow keep the kugelblitz then we use that as a distraction as to where and why all the sparrows keep going missing, and eventually the umbrella's numbers start to dwindle. until Oblivion is discovered and we find that every hotel room corresponds to a member of the 43 - maybe even have the brellies/sparrows numbers correspond to their door numbers somehow, or floor level.

idk I'm not a good writer but thats a bit of how i feel about the comics being adapted into the show..

sorry idk if i even answered your question? thank you again for the lovely ask!

[pocketmolly]

I just feel like we skimp out on the fact that Damian was canonically artificially aged 4 years too much.

Like in the new52, in order to not make Bruce a teenage father, DC had the brilliant idea that Damian was artificially made 6 years ago and his growth was sped up by 4 years in an artificial womb.

It makes the damian-tim beef so much worse because Tim isn't just beefing with a 10 year old, he's beefing with a 6 year old!!! Like can you imagine making a contingency plan to eliminate a 6 year old kid?

Furthermore Damian can also perform surgery, has attained an education level akin to multiple phDs and wiped out an entire species of batdragon? And the wildest thing is that he has also kidnapped and left villains to starve in a dungeon! Was that his equivalent of playing dolls or something?

And this is never addressed!!! There is no storyline where Damian tries to relive his childhood but sure let's have another Damian becomes evil and has to be redeemed again (it's the sixth time this year)

Please Juni Ba you are truly our last hope

[pinkthrone445]

Would you consider writing a part 2 for “The most wonderful time of year?” where maybe reader got pregnant by a one night stand or donor ands has a happy ending? Pretty, pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?

-The most wonderful time of the year?- Part 2

Part 1

Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Gender: hurt, fluff

Warnings : (+18) strong words, fights.

Summary:Melissa makes the worst mistake of her life by letting you go when things don't go the way you wanted them to. Years later, fate pulls you together again, Melissa just hopes it's not too late to fix things.

I'm officially on vacation, so I hope I can write some more! Thank you for continuing to send requests, little by little I am answering all of them. I hope you have a beautiful year!

Melissa was stunned to see the hall where you had gone, it was as if the ghost of the past had visited her, all her bad decisions were coming back to her head, even things she had avoided thinking about for years had come back to haunt her. Why had she left you? Why did you look so happy since you left her? Why had you come back and no one told her anything? Were you avoiding her or was it a coincidence that she didn't cross paths with you before? Was she right to leave you to get on with your life and dreams? If it had been the right thing to do, why was she hesitating so much?

Why hadn't anyone told her that you had come back and that your son was going to the same school where she worked, if almost everyone knew that you had been her girlfriend? Why Barbara, her best friend, didn't say nothing, anything? Melissa looked at her friend who started packing her bag faster as she felt the redhead watching her

-"Why?..."-Mel asked in a very weak tone and her friend didn't dare to look at her

-"Why what?"-the older one played dumb

-"Why you didn't tell me she was back?..."-Her voice sounded pained, as if her friend had committed the worst betrayal, Barbara had never seen Mel so hurt by her fault and she was not liking it.

-"Mel... I'm so sorry, she asked me to... She told me she would bring her son here because it was close to work and because she had no one else to leave him with. She begged me not to tell you because she wanted to be calm without going through the pain of seeing you again... You know we promise parents confidentiality with some things and even though I wanted to tell you I couldn't... I am sorry..."-Barbara spoke in a calm tone, and her friend sighed in pain

-"It is ok Barb, I understand... How long has it been since she came back?"-Mel needed to know

-"About 3 months?... She told me they came back because of a job offer she had...I promise you that's all I know"-Her friend responded by trying to redeem herself

-"Thanks Barb... Let's go home"-Mel talked before going with her friend to the car.

For the next few weeks, Melissa watched you from afar every time you dropped off your son in the mornings and picked him up in the afternoons. Also in the recesses or lunches that she had to supervise, she observed your little one very carefully, seeing all the similarities that you and he had, you both had the same eyes that shone when you smiled and that laughter that animated any person every time you let you show it. The two of you frowned in the same way when something displeased you and your little one loved pasta just like you. It made Melissa happy to see how much the two of you looked alike, it made her feel like you were close and that she already knew your son because of how much you looked alike with him.

More than once, Mel saw how you were late to pick him up because your work took longer than expected due to some emergency, your son was used to waiting for you and was well-behaved, but she was worried that you had no one to give you a hand when unexpected things came up.

One day in particular, the hospital where you worked had called the school saying that it would take a while to get there because you were doing a big surgery, but Barbara hadn't come to work that day, so Mel offered to take care of your little one until you arrived. Your son had no problem staying with the redhead because he had already gotten used to seeing her at school, although at first he had stayed with her playing on the carpet and listening to the book that Mel read to him, soon he fell asleep curled close of the teacher, since he had had gymnastics that day and had exhausted his energy.

When you arrived at school you were surprised to see how the two of them were snuggled together while Melissa stroked his hair and your son slept soundly, at first the scene gave you tenderness, it allowed you to imagine how things would have been if you and Mel had started a family, but that same thought made you angry because you remembered everything that had happened with her. In order to get the redhead's attention and not scare them, you cleared your throat. Mel stood up carefully with your son in her arms, who settled on her chest with his thumb in his mouth, there were times when you forgot how small he was and that he was only three years old because of how well he behaved and understood everything. The redhead handed you your son carefully, you laid him on your chest thanking the heavens that he didn't wake up and murmured a soft thank you to her before turning to leave, but she grabbed your arm making you stop and you sighed

-"If you ever need it, I can take care of him if you want from time to time... You're not alone, you know"-Melissa whispered and you looked into her eyes

-"Look Melissa, I appreciate you taking care of him because Barbara wasn't here today, but I don't want you to get involved in our life, got it?"-Your tone was soft because your son was asleep, but your words were harsh

-"Hon, I'm sorry about what happened between us, but it's not wrong to ask for help, you don't need to do it all if someone it's offering to help you..."- she repeated and you sighed, you were too tired for this

-"I'll ask for help if I need it or I'll manage on my own, I just don't want your help, I don't want you near him"-You responded by looking seriously how her face transformed as she listened to you

-"Please I'm not a bad influence on him, you know I'm good with kids, I'm just offering you help, you don't have to be that mean..."- she responded with annoyance

-"I'll refresh your memory in case you don't remember, you left me, at Christmas, because you didn't want to have children or have a future with me, so don't come to pretend to be a good person to me or to him, because you were the one who let go of the opportunity to have a family, you let go of the opportunity to continue relating to me or my son. If you were so repulsed by the idea of having children or getting married, I don't want you around pretending that you want to take care of him or get to know him, because you don't deserve to know what a beautiful person MY son is... I didn't come back to rub this in your face, I just came back because I needed a better paying job so I could take care of him... "-Your tone of voice rose, but you tried not to scream so you wouldn't wake your child

-"I came back from you! You were the one that disappeared, I realize pretty soon what a big mistake I made and try to get back to you... I visited your family and they didn't wanna tell me where you were... I tried to call you and you changed your number, I went to see your sisters and I put up with their screams and insults just to see you, but no one wanted to tell me anything about you... I went every year, three times a year every dam year... I'm sorry okay? I was so stupid when I let you go... I just didn't wanted to hold you back on the things that you dreamed of..."-Melissa was someone with a lot of strength, but right now she looked so weak and fragile, so hurt and needy, she looked so remorseful

-"I wanted all that, I wanted marriage, pets, and children with all my heart, but I wanted to do it with you... And you let me go so easily..."-Your voice sounded hurt, too

-"And I regret it every day, every second that pass...As soon as you left, I realized that my life wasn't worth living if I couldn't share it with you, I would have given everything to have you by my side again, my stupid pride, my stupid ideas and everything I am, I would have left it for you to come back to me. It's been 5 years and there's not a moment where I don't think about you, how much I miss you and how stupid I was to let you go. How stupid I was to reject the things you wanted, that you wished you had, how stupid I was to have missed a life with you and him. Because now that I know him and see how happy he makes you, I realize what a big mistake I made by not joining you in this, you're an amazing mother and I would be lucky to be with you taking care of him..."-Mel whispered looking into your eyes and you sighed not knowing what to say or do. You didn't know what would have happened if Mr. Johnson hadn't come in to tell you he needed to close the school. You and Mel left school quietly, and after a simple goodbye, you each went to your cars and home.

The days began to pass, and though you hadn't spoken any more after that night, you noticed how something had changed between you two but you didn't know that. Melissa also noticed how now you recognized her presence with at least a small smile when you left your son at school and saw her, that little smile was enough to make her happy all week, seeing that you didn't despise her anymore made her the happiest woman in the world.

For your part, you wanted to talk to Melissa again but you were scared and didn't know if it would be the right thing to do or what excuse to use to do it.

It wasn't until a work conference coincided with you not being able to get a good babysitter that you had a good excuse to talk to her, but still, you consulted with your son before

-"Theo, mama has a work conference for a few hours, do you want to stay with the neighbor and her children?"-You asked your son but he shook his head, looking at you a little sadly

-"I want to stay at home... The neighbo's childen ade noisy and won't let me do what I like"...-He muttered, trying to cross his arms angrily, but it gave you tenderness when you saw that they were a little crooked and he couldn't cross it properly

-"It's fine, but I can't get the babysitter who always comes... Would it be okay if you stay with Melissa? The teacher at your school who stayed with you when I couldn't get there quickly, do you remember her?" - You consulted and he smiled a lot, nodding excitedly and jumping up and down

-"Yes, please, she does the best voices when deading and takes cade of me when the olde kids tease me, I like hed, mama!"-Your little one spoke excitedly and you sighed with relief when you saw that he agreed, you didn't know who else to call if he didn't want to stay with her. Praying to the heavens, you called the redhead and explained the situation, she agreed and in less than 15 minutes the eldest was already at your home. As soon as she arrived, you took the opportunity to get ready to go to the hospital and quickly explained some things to her

-"If you see that he wants to cry and you can't find an obvious reason, it is likely that something is overwhelming him, it may be loud noises or that the texture of his clothes are making him uncomfortable, in that case turn down the volume of things and offer him his pajamas, those clothes always calm him down... If you or him are hungry, there's food in the fridge, if he's sleepy, a bottle of milk before bed helps him sleep better... He knows how to go to the bathroom on his own... Let me think if I remember anything else"-You spoke quickly, and the redhead laughed, putting her hands on your shoulders and guiding you to the door so you wouldn't be late. Her hands felt firm but loving, as they did years ago when you started to get distracted from doing what you needed to do and she gently guided you.

-"Remember that I'm with kids almost all day, I know how to take care of them and if not, I'll send you a message, okay?"-She spoke and you nodded going to open the car, your son ran next to the redhead hugging her leg and waved at you with his little hand

-"Goodbye baby! Behave yourself and listen to Melissa, I love you my boy!" - You screamed smiling when you saw how comfortable he felt around Melissa, something that wasn't normal with other people. Then you looked up at the redhead smiling kindly-"Really thank you... I didn't know who else to call, I'll be back as fast as I can"-You smiled nervously

-"It's the least I can do... Go or you'll be late!"-The eldest spoke and you got in the car to go to the hospital.

A few minutes later, Melissa watched as your little son entertained himself without causing her any troubles, he painted and played with blocks while soft music played in the background.

She took time to observe a little, there was still a lot boxes on the house, but she could already tell that you two were turning it into a home. There were many pictures on the wall, mostly yours and your son and some with your family, she smiled when she saw one with all your friends in which she was included. There were many books on the shelf too, the top ones were yours and the ones at the bottom were your son's. The Christmas tree was the same, although Melissa knew that you loved to keep order even in the decorations, you had let your little one decorate as well, making most of the balls and stars be at the bottom of the tree where the little boy could reach, Mel laughed tenderly at this.

There were toy boxes in various places and the lights were soft, accompanying the fireplace light, giving a warm atmosphere to the house.

When she turned around, your son was looking at her with his eyes wide open

-"Miss Melissa... My mom said you wed a teached too like Ms. Howad, can you help me do my homewodk so my mom can sleep when she adives? Pweease?"-Your son begged her with big puppy eyes and the redhead nodded excited.

A couple of hours later, after doing homework, eating together, and playing some more, your son brushed his teeth, and after Melissa gave him a bottle of milk and read him a story, he fell asleep smiling and hugging a stuffed animal that she recognized, it was yours when you were a kid.

When you got home, everything was neat, clean and quiet, the redhead was sitting on the couch grading some of her students' papers. Seeing you enter, Melissa took off her glasses and smiled softly at you as she saw your tired face

-"Theo is sleeping, he did his homework, played, ate, brushed his teeth, and put on his pajamas before bed... We also sorted the toys together and after he fell asleep I arranged the rest, made pasta in case you are hungry" - Melissa spoke in a whisper to avoid waking your son, she also put her cell phone and papers in her purse before getting up to leave

-"I don't know how to thank you... It's rare that he stays with just anyone, he sees you as someone special"-You confessed and she smiled

-"He's special, I could spend hours playing with him and listening to all the things he knows about animals... Thank you for letting me help you and for trusting me to be with him... I'll go so you can rest, good night..."-The redhead gently caressed your arm giving you a small smile before leaving.

Weeks began to pass and the distant greetings turned into small chatter that was then followed by messages late into the night. You didn't know it was going on, you were just letting it flow.

A month after Christmas came your son's birthday, he gave his invitations at schools to whomever he wanted, and you were really surprised to see when Barbara, Mr. Johnson and Melissa arrived at the party you had organized for him. Your son was through the roof when he saw them and spent the whole party laughing and playing a lot with the other children. Your family was there too, and your sisters were looking at Melissa badly but you told them to control themselves.

When it came to opening presents, Melissa had given your son clothes with the same fabric as his pajamas to make him feel comfortable, that made you smile as you realized how much attention she had paid to him. Also she brought you a small puppy, to fulfill your dream of having a pet. Even though you knew your child would say it was for him, you almost burst into tears when you saw the little puppy.

A couple of hours passed at the party, your son, your new puppy and his friends were playing and singing with Barbara and Mr. Johnson, Melissa was sitting on the couch that was in the courtyard where the party was, you carefully sat down next to her and rested your head on her shoulder letting out a tired sigh and closing your eyes. Mel just looked at you and smiled, putting her arm behind your shoulders, bringing you closer to her, begging you not to walk away

-"You know... The first year you showed up looking for me, I saw you, but I didn't come out because I was mad at you... The following year I started to miss you and wanted to see you, but days before you went, I found out that the treatment had worked and that I was already pregnant and I thought that if I saw you, you would be scared and reject me again... Then the baby was born and I was even more afraid to see you... That's why I stayed away, it wasn't out of anger at you anymore, it was fear of rejection again... But I'm happy to see you again and to see that Theo is happy being with you too..."-You whispered and the redhead hugged you closer to her body

-"(Y/N)... I know how much I messed up and I want to see if I can fix this, because I don't want to miss another second away from you two, would you like to go on a date with me and your son?... If you don't want to, I understand, but if I didn't ask you I know I'll regret it"-She spoke sincerely, expecting you would reject her and push her away, but you just hugged her tighter taking advantage of her scent and the heat that her body radiated

-"We'd love to..."-You whispered, hiding more in her neck, watching your son's happiness and listening as the redhead's heart almost came out of her chest.

-"By the way, your sisters have been looking at me like they want to kill me since I arrived, but since you sat next to me, it seems like they're shooting lightning at me" - She whispered and you laughed

-"I know, so be careful what you do this time because if you don't, I'll let them do it"-You responded jokingly

[youhideastar]

WujiWatch: CQL Rewatch Episode 19

I’ve read some takes that Jiang Cheng must actually know right at the start that he has Wei Wuxian’s core (or that he’d have to be incredibly stupid/in denial not to) because he wakes up with a great big scar over his lower dantian. Other clues are sometimes cited – that Baoshan Sanren sounds exactly like Wen Qing with a cold; that the whole Baoshan Sanren plan makes no sense anyway; and later, that Wei Wuxian acts like a person without a golden core, in his physical weakness and his reliance on cultivation that doesn’t require one.

I’m sorry, but these are terrible takes. As a practical matter, Wen Ning says, after the big reveal, that the surgery took two days, and the title card post-surgery in this episode says “Seven days later.” Those five extra days were sufficient to allow Jiang Cheng’s—now super-powerful—core to heal the incision without scarring. (Indeed, one assumes that’s why Wen Qing kept him sedated for those extra days.) The Wen Qing-with-a-cold thing is fair, but it’s not exactly a smoking gun

As a thematic and psychological matter, moreover, the point about the Baoshan Sanren plan making no sense is, I think, not fair. Anyone with any psychological acuity knows that the easiest lie is one your subject already believes to be true, and after that, the lie your subject wants to be true. Wei Wuxian plays on this ruthlessly in shopping the plan to Jiang Cheng—but it works even better than he realizes, because he doesn’t know why Jiang Cheng lost his golden core. The details Wei Wuxian feeds Jiang Cheng—particularly his instruction that Jiang Cheng should pretend to be him, that the immortals will only help him if they think he’s Wei Wuxian, that Wei Wuxian has this one golden ticket he can redeem and he’s spending it on Jiang Cheng—would have felt deeply, karmically right to Jiang Cheng, because they resonate with the fact of his sacrifice. I lost my core for you, he’s thinking, so now you give up your immortal get-out-of-jail-free card for me. I lost my core by trading places with you; now I’ll regain it by stepping into your shoes.

Of course, Jiang Cheng is more right than he knows.

[human-blob-nessie]

The french senate on medical transition for trans and gender diverse youth

There was a vote today (28th of May, 2024) at the french senate concerning the law around medical transition for trans youth.

Context here

To be clear : THIS LAW IS NOT GOING TO BE ENACTED YET. IT HAS TO PASS THROUGH THE ASSEMBLÉE NATIONALE, WHICH HAS THE POWER TO MODIFY IT AND HAS THE FINAL WORD OVER WHETHER IS PASSES THROUGH OR NOT

Now, having said that, the debate at the Senate was very interesting. It was the first overview of the text by the political class, and was a good moment to observe the position of the varying groups involved, as well as what is important to each.

It's important to note that the Senate is heavily right-leaning, the most right-wing political assembly in the country, in fact. That's mostly because they're representative of the groups in charge of the communes, regardless of population, and our rural areas are heavily right-leaning, which makes for a lot of communes for a relatively low population.

With this context established : The text passed with a relatively wide majority (180 in favour, 136 against), which if translated to the Assemblée Nationale, would be way more disputed. (Center and left-wing being larger there). In this case, right-wing was in favour, left-wing against, and the center was very divided.

What does this text do

It contains 4 articles :

1 : The first bans HRT for minors, as well as any form of gender affirming surgery. It also calls for the creation of regional, specialized clinics, which do not exist here yet. The catch ? The list of said clinics has to be determined by the minister of Health. (To my surprise, nobody even discussed this part, which is, in my opinion, horrendous, as it could open the way to a future minister removing these clinics at any time.) It also includes a mandatory delay of 2 years between the first appointment and the prescription of puberty blockers, and its conditions include the nebulous "evaluation of the minor's capacity for discernment"

2 : It punishes any doctor ignoring these rules to 2 years of imprisonment and a 30 000€ fine

3 : The third article calls (in a very unclear manner) to the elaboration of a national strategy in child psychiatry, to try and give children the best means for their mental health. It has been heavily debated, as transitioning in France is not considered a psychiatric affection since 2010 (for context, this is before the DSM-5), although this has had very little effect in practice.

4 : This law has to be examined again in the 5 years after its (eventual) adoption.

The discussion

This is a very heavy blow to trans youth. The ban has direct measurable effects, and the creation of specialized clinics cannot be a redeeming quality as long as their existence directly depends on the Health Minister's will. It also opens the way for more bans, including for trans adults. (There are talks about the 25 y/o mark, just as in the Cass Review) Only 294 trans minors (according to the numbers cited today) in France are on puberty blockers, but the amount of minors on HRT has not been cited and is probably way higher. The text does include a line saying that people currently on it would be allowed to continue, but it would effectively stop anyone under 18 from benefitting from it in the future.

The question of surgery has been discussed, with cited cases of mastectomies on people younger than 18 (but never younger than 17), with at least one for which the doctors judged it to be taking priority due to the risk of self-harm is nothing was done. To that, the draftsman, who directed the revision of the text before it was brought the the Senate, responded (translated) "17 or 18, in my opinion there's no big difference" (clearly ignoring an example where doctors clearly thought it could have been a life or death difference)

The common factor among the defenders of this law was "protect the children" (of course), with arguments directly taken from the Cass Review, and debunked stats about detransition rates or the idea that "most kids grow out of their gender diversity". They also showed a huge distrust of trans youth in general, highlighting several times how they think children cannot know themselves in such a significant way better than parents would. They intensely rejected the idea of self-determination in general. Even the ones who said they accepted trans people defended a view that reeks of transmedicalism (i.e. "if you don't need medical transition, and most of you don't, you're not trans and you're falling to a trend")

The absence of trans youth themselves in the 300 page report behind the law project pushed some (left-wing) people to read or mention testimonies from trans people themselves, in an effort to actually bring us to a conversation that's about us but entirely decided by cisgender people. This was opposed with the argument that testimonies from detransitioners are just as moving, implying that this is just not an argument (totally ignoring the ratio of trans people to detransitioners, which makes one of them way more relevant when it comes to deciding for everyone)

A very important part of the discussion was whether or not the government should even try to pass laws on the subject. Most of the people against the project argued that these decisions should come from the HAS (High Authority of Health)'s recommendations, and not from politicians. The answer to that was to argue that this was "prudence until the HAS decides on the topic" (which implies that if they have recommendations, these would probably be in a restrictive direction). I want to highlight that someone on the left did bring up the fact that most interrogated experts do no feel like there is a need to change the law for this particular topic. (However, there is also a push to make legal sex change easier, which also has to be discussed by the Senate, but let's face it, will probably be rejected).

The pushback in several countries (Denmark, Finland and Norway were mentioned without any form of precision ; The Cass Review in England was precisely cited several times though) has been used as an argument to push this decision, arguing that "some of the most progressive countries are rolling back on this topic" and we should listen to what their experiences tell us. Interestingly, I heard no mention of the USA either way, except a weird mention of the US Declaration of Independence, which I can't make sense of in this context.

What next ?

Now we wait for the Assemblée Nationale to decide. This can be an extremely complex process, which can call for revisions, examinating whether or not it conforms to the constitution, and various ways to contest a decision.

The schedule for that is not set as I write this, as the Senate's decision was just made.

There are still strong chances for this to go either way, so now is the time to actually talk about it publicly. For that, I believe the timing might be decisive, as Pride Month is just around the corner and people will talk about this issue in this context. Whether that will turn opinions in favour or against that law, I cannot predict, but public opinion definitely can affect the final decision.

I will continue updating on this post as this develops.

France is currently in a decent place when it comes to the right to transition. It's relatively easy to see a specialist, though it highly depends on where you live, and the process can be relatively quick ; plus a lot of it is free, or at least partially covered by social security. It could be better, for sure, but this is actively making it worse, following the trend coming mostly from the UK.

Please reblog this.

(tagging my mutuals in hope it helps it be seen : @lenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @dog-with-anxiety @confused-ladybug @atomicdinosaur6969 @moonys-roof @hyalgor @elsulasnotdonewithyou @dirt-juice )

[onnahu]

So I was rereading DitF and there's something interesting there.

Because Sheila sold Jason out to the Joker, and then while he beat the shit out of her child, she smoked a cigarette, refusing to look, already regretful of what she did.

It's clear, she cares more about herself than Jason.

But then, when Jason frees her, she doesn't just run. She stays to help him get out to.

Is it the guilt? Did she want to somehow redeem herself? Or maybe it was as a thanks. Because Jason saved her even when he was dying by her fault.

And I want to know. What is Sheila's deal? We know she did some illegal surgeries on women in Gotham, but what was that? She was working at a refugee camp. Was she there trying to do something good, or because it was a place she could hide easiest?

What's going on with Sheila Haywood?

[eroguron0nsense]

Doflamingo, Love, and Arrested Development

This is mostly just me paraphrasing other Doffy metas and comments I've made but I kinda feel like the real tragedy behind Doflamingo's warped psychology kind of gets missed by people who focus more on his trauma in and of itself and get lost in discourses about having sympathy for characters despite their complete lack of morality and disregard for everyone (perfectly possible), or whether Doflamingo has any redeeming characteristics or genuine concern for anyone or anything outside of himself (he doesn't).

Doffy's story is fundamentally a tragedy, but not because of his childhood traumas or how drastic and painful they are; plenty of One Piece characters experience severe abuses or incomprehensible loss, but they're ultimately stories of how to find hope in the face of the incomprehensibly traumatic, or the salvation/redemptive power of love. Even characters who don't necessarily see their goals fulfilled (see Fisher Tiger, Pedro, Ashura Doji, EGGHEAD SPOILERS etc) aren't fundamentally tragic ones in the way that, say, Ace is, in that they die having fulfilled their goals to the best of their ability and knowing that people will carry on where they left off, even if they don't get to see the liberation they hoped for. Rosinante's story isn't a tragedy because he dies satisfied that he's given hope to someone he loves deeply (and to some extent tried to make amends for some of the guilt he clearly feels for participating in an institution that ruined that child's life).

Doffy, on the other hand, is a never-ending downward spiral from day 1. He was indoctrinated by evil people from birth and never has it addressed (his parents, for all their talk about living more simply than the Celestial Dragons, NEVER actually say "slavery is bad" to Doffy when he asks them why they don't own people any more and I have my own theory on why), who then suffers unbelievable trauma and has his sense of loss–both of his "birthright" and his innocence/ childhood–weaponized for evil. And he spends the rest of his life in this semi-permanent state of arrested development and violent entitlement. He can't have the station and privilege of the Celestial Dragons to... own slaves and live in luxury, so he builds a kingdom where HE reigns supreme and everyone who crosses him is killed or enslaved as a toy. His mother dies and he kills his father, so he assembles a cult-like "family" to try and compensate for the one he's lost/destroyed, but he doesn't and likely doesn't know how to love them in any meaningful way beyond being possessive of them and seeing them as extensions of himself (e.g. he's willing to kill anyone who makes fun of Pica because no one's allowed to antagonize his "family", but he also orders Monet to do a suicide bombing in Punk Hazard, and he's willing to sacrifice one of them for the eternal life surgery, etc). I think that might be why, even though he should know Corazon has every reason to hate and fear him, he's still so eager to take his brother in when they reunite as adults–he shouldn't trust him, and he eventually comes to suspect him of treason, but he's desperate to have a family and Corazon is emblematic of something he wants but can never have because he's a cruel stunted person who knows nothing but entitlement and violence and cannot process the idea that anything has value or merits selflessness and sacrifice.

Everything Doflamingo does is defined by trying to replace or compensate for the family and privilege he was "supposed" to have, but he doesn't love anyone or even understand how real love works because he's been taught to have no regard for human life and all he knows is that love = absolute servitude, that his interests are ultimately more important than the wellbeing of his "family" members, and that betrayal means death. And far be it from me to sympathize with a fallen aristocrat's deranged revenge power fantasies, but it does demonstrate how oppressive institutions inevitably deprive their own beneficiaries of some of their humanity, and consequently fuck them for life. Doffy craves genuine affection and has had his capacity for it permanently stunted by his former class station and indoctrination.

This craving for love combined with an inability to actually feel it in any meaningful way factors into why he's so obsessed with Law, who he kept hardcore projecting onto in the flashbacks and who he expected to turn out just like him. His brother chose Law over Doflamingo and even his undercover mission out of love, and for all his traumas and hangups, Law can find his own crew and friends who he cares about, and he's able to live on and find meaning even after losing EVERYTHING because Corazon genuinely loved him enough to die protecting him. Doffy, on the other hand, is doomed to a loveless, misanthropic, cruel existence where he tortures countless people to compensate, but he can't replace what he's lost and he'll never find it. It's not what Corazon would have wanted, but Law fighting for and honouring Corazon's memory in everything he does enrages Doffy, who will never be able to understand why they cared for each other so deeply, and why both of them are integral to his downfall.

[oneforthemunny]

pyramid ranking for the eddies this week 5/5 - 5/11

1 . janitor!eddie

2. older!dilf!eddie 3. hockey!eddie

4. modern!eddie 5. dom!eddie 6. boxer!eddie

7. cowboy!eddie 8.rockstar!eddie 9. mafia!eddie 10. bouncer!eddie

reasons below:

at number 10, bouncer!eddie. the fight blurb + the cheating lore was a lot this week and has ranked him last as the villain.

at number 9, mafia!eddie. he initially was ahead, maybe even second row until the latest blurb. the matching pajamas and pool blurb were very redeeming, but he ultimately sunk with that one. work on communication and compromise.

at number 8, rockstar!eddie. i shouldn't punish him for being in rehab bc he is getting better, unfortunately you hurt nb. the ten page letter did help and he's working hard, but still has a lot of work before he can regain our trust.

at number 7, cowboy!eddie. very flirty and i almost had him on the third row, but he's been a little too mean for my liking this week. i need to be coddled sometimes and need attention, that he did not give me. work on time management and reading a room, but keep wearing tight jeans and band tees.

at number 6, boxer!eddie. this ranking was because of the fluff that he gave us this week with the blurb. i love his mean, stoic, "i'm so serious" attitude but i'm weak at the knees at him being a little playful and silly in the privacy of his relationship. very intimate, channel that more.

at number 5, dom!eddie. secured spot number five with the sweet cuddling and babying he did this week. also for his creativity making the spreader. off to a very good start, i expect more from him bc right now he's playing it safe and staying out of the spotlight.

at number four, modern!eddie. was going to be lower bc of the lotion incident, but did buy me more + a little extra bc he had some extra cash and he loves me. i wish he'd get a little bit more attention bc he has so much affection to offer and that's overlooked here. do more to stand out.

at number three, the second row, hockey!eddie. he fucking earned this spot too?? almost was number two overall with the surgery blurb and the surprise??? very doting and a little nervous and sweet. he and older!eddie were neck and neck. love the silly goofy lover boy with a touch of chaos, want to see more of it.

at number two, older!eddie. the cursing blurb really secured him number one. the fact that he stayed loving and doting in both scenarios but can now be himself since he's in a happier place???? fuck gina, he's come out on top. plus my older eddie inspo love irl came in to see me today and made me melt, that might have been the deciding factor.

at number one, a shock to no one at all- janitor!eddie. the "i knew you'd like that" blurb had him winning by a landslide, but then he said- no get you somebody who can do both and went the sweetest route of all time. no competition, he's the rightful number one of this week. keep it up, we love you angel king.

[bakudekublogblog]

Katsuki is so fucking sick of hospital rooms. He hates the heavy scent of antiseptic, the too-starchy pillows, the way the bed crackles every time he moves. He hates the white-popcorn walls that he’s forced to stare at through the haze of heavy medication. And he fucking despises the plastic tube shoved up his nose with the quiet, but constant, beeping of several machines keeping tabs on his vitals. Everything about it sucks. The only slightly redeeming quality about this particular hospital stay is that he and Izuku are sharing the same room. Apparently, after Katsuki’s tantrum the last time they both nearly died, the nurses figured it was best for everyone if Izuku was put directly in Katsuki’s line of vision. And so there he is, still knocked out in his hospital bed opposite Katsuki’s. Half his head wrapped in gauze, face swollen with purple bruises, he’s bandaged just about everywhere, but he’s alive. Katsuki is too riddled with pain meds to do much other than stare at him across the room. But at least Izuku is there, hooked up to a heart-monitor, softly proving that he’s still breathing. Which gives Katsuki’s battered heart some much needed relief. 

Izuku still hasn’t woken up, though. Stupid, sleepy bastard. Always fucking sleeping when Katsuki is awake. How the fuck has Katsuki had three surgeries, one of them open-heart surgery, and he’s managing to flit in and out of consciousness, but Izuku is still out like a light? Katsuki thought Izuku swore to surpass him. Why the fuck does he think he can fall behind now? Katsuki scowls at Izuku’s tuft of fluffy green hair. 

Wake up or I’ll kill you , Katsuki vows.

Katsuki knows he’s in love with him. He should have known a long time ago really, but having his heart burst put everything into stark clarity. He can’t deny it now. Not even if he wanted to. The next time Katsuki greets death, he will do so without regrets. There’s so much he needs to make up for; he still has so much atoning left to do. He has to show Izuku he will be better and do right by him. Izuku can’t fucking die before Katsuki has the chance to prove himself. Even if Izuku never loves him back, Katsuki must at least prove that he can be good. That he is worthy of standing at Izuku’s side. 

Days pass and Izuku still doesn’t wake. Katsuki’s pleadings only get more desperate. Usually it’s just in his head, but sometimes, when it’s late at night and no one else is around, Katsuki will murmur to him aloud. 

“You don’t have to forgive me,” Katsuki whispers into the oppressive quiet of their hospital room. Only the soft chime of Izuku’s heart-monitor answers him. “You don’t have to be mine. Just wake up. Don’t make me live in a world without you.” 

Shadows dance as headlights stream through the curtains shading their window, and for a moment Katsuki thinks maybe--- but no. The car passes and Izuku hasn’t stirred. God fucking dammit. Katsuki doesn’t know why he’s surprised: of course Izuku can’t actually hear him. Tears prick at the corners of Katsuki’s eyes anyway. 

It becomes a nightly ritual. Katsuki’s mind is too muddled with medication to make sense most of the time, but at least it gives him something to do. God, he can’t wait until he’s off all this shit and actually, you know, move and whatever. His arm was so bent and twisted when he was admitted that they had to implant metal poles to strengthen it, and fuck if it doesn’t feel weird. Recovery Girl comes by every day to heal him, bit by bit so as not to exhaust his limited energy, and there’s a quirk specialist flying out from the states to repair Katsuki’s damaged muscle. They have assured him that with time and physical therapy he should get all his mobility back, but it gives Katsuki little comfort. He would cut the whole damn limb off if it meant Izuku would just wake up . 

“Please, for me,” Katsuki whispers, one night after a particularly exhausting round of visits from his parents, Izuku’s mom, and All Might. “Just this one thing. Just wake up. I won’t ask for anything else, just be okay.” 

Katsuki must drift off. The concoction of sleep-aids and pain medications dragging him into unconsciousness against his will. He thinks he might be dreaming when he hears ragged breathing and a soft croaky voice. 

“Ka— K’ch’n… Kach—” 

Katsuki jolts awake, his heart-rate spiking and his head spinning. He can’t have— it couldn’t be—

 “ Kacchan… ” 

[READ MORE]

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

I don't know if you've answered this question b4 but is Angel a toy or a human? it was shown that they were a toy in one of your comics but they bleed and lived outside the facility so presumably they look human enough.

Here's EVERYTHING you need to know about Angel.

Angel is only HALF Toy.

This was mentioned several times through the story and when I first posted them, basically the process of toyification to me is several convoluted surgerys and many experiments.

Basically, Angel was an orphan in Playcare, but they grew up smart enough to be recruited as an employee. Once they were an employee they found out the horrific trueth of what Playtime was really doing to the children and was terribly repulsed and frightened. In order to keep their reputation, Playtime Co. Typically turned employees that found out to much into toys- and they were planning on doing that to Angel.

Angel fled from the Playtime factory mid surgery- leaving half their body as unmodeled plastic and rearranged muscles, the other half (while scarred) is still relatively human. Most normal people think that Angel is just badly injured with plastic prosthetics, not that the plastic is actually part of them.

When they first fled, Playtime factory inexplicably shut down after everyone disappeared (hour of joy)...with no way to sue an abandoned company- Angel was homeless and unfortunatly most peoppe wouldnt hire them due to their general lack of....everything. theyre an orphan. They ended up taking residence in a kindly church and becoming a kind pacifist man of faith.

When they received their letter from Playtime about their missing coworkers, calling them back after 10 years? They thought it was a sign from God to save and redeem what they had done so long ago. The people they abandoned. The fact that they helped the factory before they found out about its darker side.

They've basically spent the last 10 years under the impression that they are partly responsible for what happened to the kids (they really werent...but they're guilt ridden.) And are using now, and their shared toyification with them, to redeem themself and the kids.

[randomfoggytiger]

If Mulder and Doggett Were Partnered in Season 8

@thursdayinspace, I got swept up in your alternate Season 8 idea. So, I sat down and wrote it up.

I'm operating under the assumption that Scully is pregnant; but if she weren't, Mulder and Doggett would still form a friendship along the same lines, albeit without a shared sense of loss between them. Deadalive would then focus on Scully's struggle to reintegrate after Kersh refuses to reassign her to the files, and Essence-Existence would follow other mytharc beats without a baby involved.

Lastly: Mulder would have to find out about her pregnancy in order for the level of emotional turmoil to remain equal.

THE PLAY-BY-PLAY PLOT

Scully is pregnant, and abducted.

Within. Doggett insinuates Mulder knows more about Scully's disappearance than he lets on. Skinner intercepts a punch from Mulder (having hovered nearby, knowing he'd act out in some way) and separates the two before Kersh becomes involved.

Doggett traces Scully's last movements to Mulder's apartment, where he clearly states his motives and intentions. Mulder notes but doesn't soften to Doggett's straight-forward sincerity, deciding to work around and largely ignore the other agent... until Doggett shocks Mulder with the results of Scully's blood work (a test she'd done before flying back to Oregon.) Shattered and desperate, he charges out to the UFO landing with Skinner after a call from TLG.

The flashes we get to Scully on the ship are in the same vein as Ascension, i.e. Mulder imagining worst-case scenarios.

The rest of Without unfolds; but it does open up a great opportunity for Mulder to lose it if he has to shoot Scully's clone (instead of Skinner's) to save Gibson. That, and the unprocessed grief from losing his pregnant partner-- again-- might cause him to collapse and (silently) weep. This humanizes him to Doggett (who lost a child, too); and the latter takes the x-files assignment with a little less resignation, seeing it as a way to redeem his own past mistakes.

Patience. Manbat. Doggett squares off with the sheriff at the house, cop style, rankling Mulder. Mulder later ditches Doggett for the cemetery and witnesses the sheriff's murder. The local police don't believe him, thinking his theories have wasted precious time; but Doggett ends up making a connection with past news reports (without believing fully them, of course.) The rest of the plot happens, yadda yadda.

Roadrunner. Events fall out the same, except Doggett has to walk Mulder out of town. Mulder won't apologize but does take what Doggett says on the chin, acknowledging his points silently.

Invocation. Not only does the boy's case tear at Doggett's wounds, but Mulder's as well: because of Scully and the baby, sure, but also because of Samantha and starlight. (That would have been a better episode overall, I think. Imagine if it were at the tail end of Season 8 after Mulder's return, squeezed between Alone and Essence. Alas.)

Redrum's the same.

Via Negativa is where it could get interesting. I have two theories: 1. Mulder ditches Doggett to chase a UFO sighting (and Skinner covers up for him); or 2. Mulder starts developing symptoms he's afraid might be linked to CSM's deterioration after the Amor Fati surgery, causing him to be down and out for the rest of the episode. The symptoms either stick long enough to be cured in The Gift or melt away, a nothing burger (like the canonical brain disease plotline.)

Surekill, Salvage, Badlaa, who cares.

The Gift. Again, two theories: 1. Doggett stumbles onto shady things Mulder did off-the-grid during the Via Negativa episode-- really, really questionable moral decisions-- to get answers. Skinner advises him to let it go, for everyone's sake. 2. Mulder disappears again and Doggett traces him to the magic man's house where he just misses Mulder being cured of brain disease (because Mulder took miracle man up on the offer, needing to be alive to find Scully.) He finds Mulder unconscious and the other man weakened by the procedure; and intercepts the local police's attempts to capture and rug sweep. He's killed, then healed. When both men recover, Mulder shares his own experience with near death (obliquely, as is Mulder's way.) The episode continues, the end.

Medusa is the first episode where they're both a team. Doggett stays up top while Mulder explores the tunnels.

Per Manum. Mulder becomes too emotionally involved, tying his IVF journey with Scully to the case. Skinner calls him out, saying he's "saving" the Haskell woman as a proxy because his own pregnant partner is missing. Mulder does not take the victim to a military base; but his truck is intercepted, he's knocked unconscious, and the woman is taken (by Doggett's pretend friend Rohrer), regardless. Doggett relays what everyone believes, but says he understands what Mulder's going through.

This Is Not Happening. The only changes would be that Monica Reyes starkly reminds Mulder of Melissa Scully, and that he yells for Jeremiah Smith to come out while cradling Scully's "dead" body.

Again, we hit a crossroads: does Jeremiah Smith heal Scully?

If he does, then Deadalive focuses on Scully's struggles working back from her abduction and "replacement" on the files (she'd likely flunk all the tests for field work because of her vivid memories and trauma, to begin with), not to mention her pregnancy.

If he doesn't, then This Is Not Happening-Deadalive Mulder will have to put on extended "medical" leave following Scully's burial. Kersh seeks dismissal but is held at bay by the optics of the situation. Skinner digs up Scully and bears the brunt of Mulder's anger when the latter isn't immediately told. Krycek doesn't make a deal with Skinner (both know there would be no gain unless Mulder's in that hospital bed) and yanks Scully off life support. One of two things happen: 1. the episode unfolds as usual or 2. Mulder chases him down and they have a conversation at gunpoint, with Krycek claiming his actions saved Scully's life, then threatening to exposure for Mulder's actions in Via Negativa if he's not let go. Somehow, Krycek gets away (likely because Mulder pauses long enough for Doggett to catch up and reason with him, revealing he'd learned the sordid details during The Gift.)

Three Words through Alone. Lots of trauma for Scully and Mulder, I'm sure.

THE FINALE

Essence and Existence.

The Supersoldiers can stay because they will give Mulder and Scully renewed purpose for Season 9. However, they are not indestructible, and are few in number (with only a few being able to turn because of Jeremiah Smith's healing efforts.) If they've infested government, then only a few key positions.

Option One

Essence: The plot unfolds like normal until Krycek drops in and saves Mulder and Scully from Billy Miles. He warns them about an alien elimination program to clean up loose ends (not because of some Messiah baby) and offers them a place to hide out. Mulder and Scully escape with Krycek's coordinates while Skinner and Doggett destroy Billy in the garbage truck.

Existence: After they leave, Knowle Rohrer contacts Doggett and warns him Krycek recently switched sides and is leading Mulder and Scully into a trap. (If Mulder has dipped into darkness during Via Negativa, all the more motive for his enemies to want him permanently out of the way.) Skinner and Doggett track and confront Krycek for information; and in the scuffle Skinner kills him to save Doggett's. They triangulate coordinates with TLG; and, realizing the location is in Mexico, call in Monica for help. Meanwhile, Mulder and Scully deduce they're being followed. Here's where the episode can get its Chris Carter drama: the two switch course without the viewers knowing, and Scully's labor and delivery happen (safely) concurrent to Skinner, Doggett, Reyes, and the Supersoldiers running into each other at the original location and fighting it out. The Supersoldier group isn't large enough to beat back the ambush, and retreat, setting up a problem Mulder, Scully, and the gang will have to deal with next season. Everyone gets home happily, the end.

Option Two

Essence is the same, but Existence takes a turn. Rohrer contacts Doggett to let him know the Supersoldiers aren't a danger to Scully or the baby. Their mission is to take back alien tech from the remaining Syndicate's grasp, which is against Krycek's group's interests. Krycek sent Mulder and Scully to a fringe Syndicate conclave, where Scully and the baby will be detained and tested in the hopes that their DNA will somehow unlock the elusive Colonization cure. (If Mulder did shenanigans during Via Negativa, all the more reason to eradicate him from the game.) Doggett and Skinner track Krycek, Skinner kills Krycek, they triangulate coordinates with TLG, call in Reyes, and head out.

Mulder and Scully either veer off-course last minute, wary, or follow-through on the plan and reach the compound.

If both agents reach the compound, they either 1. evade capture long enough for the Supersoldiers (who'd used them to find Krycek's group) to surprise everyone and burn the place down or 2. are captured but escape during the ensuing chaos. Mulder and Scully and the Supersoldiers go their separate ways, knowing their paths will cross again. William is likely born off-screen, the end.

CONCLUSION

And there we go!

Don't know what this accomplishes, but it was fun.

[your-queer-dad]

Hi! (Not calling you "dad" because I have trauma from an older guy forcing me to call him "Daddy".) I have a bit of a situation...How do I navigate this? For the last several years, I have been "best friends" with someone who is pretty much a HUGE part of the trans/LGBT community and fight for rights in our area. She herself is a trans woman. It's in quotes because the longer I know her, the more red flags and toxic traits seem to bubble up and that is someone you normally wouldn't see as a best friend. BUT I cannot end the friendship or call her out on it as she could easily have me disallowed from LGBT events throughout our entire area. It started pretty early on; she basically refused to see me as a man (I am closeted trans masc/male) in public because "I have made no effort to come out or LOOK like a man!". I am closeted because our area/my family tend to be very unsafe for trans folks and I cannot afford to move out of my parents' house right now. That progressed to her calling me "trans-trender" because I don't feel dysphoria, intend on being super femme even after I am able to transition, and don't want bottom surgery. (Top surgery and a hysto would be perfect for me.) From there, she's constantly going on about how trans men/masc folks are gross because we bleed every month and how trans femme/women who don't get bottom surgery are undeserving of support and are "gross and undesirable". (For what it's worth, I met her when she was still living as a man and always supported and loved her fully. She forgets she didn't just magically transition over-night...) But lately, it's reached a point that I don't think she could redeem herself in my heart anymore. (I am so used to being abused that her previously mentioned behaviors don't hurt as much as they should.) I met a really amazing person (also trans masc) and we have become inseparable and, during one of our more intimate chats, they came out to me as intersex which lead to a longer, more in-depth conversation about their body/identity which ended with me giving them links to things for support that I knew of but of course, I am not intersex so there's not much I could offer. So, I went to my so-called "friend" and asked her for some resources in the bigger cities since my other friend recently relocated for work. I have regretted that choice since... She launched into a whole thing about how "intersex people are being greedy by also being trans" and then DEFENDED the surgeries done on many intersex babies "because it doesn't happen THAT much and besides, the parents have to consent to it so it's not like it's a dirty little secret!" She's been stuck on that for a couple days which concerns me deeply because usually she "Drops it" after a couple hours. I am sorry for the ramble but this is running through my brain like a train and I just needed to put my thoughts out there. Posting anonymously just in case she sees this.

Hey kiddo, please don't apologise it's okay. I'm always here to listen and give support where I can. She sounds like a really hard friend to be around and I don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable with that. She completely ignored and invalidated yours and your friend's gender identity, that isn't fair even if she is trans herself. I'm so sorry kiddo. 🫂🫂🫂

- dad x

[girlwithadragonheart]

Deianira(Nira) got plastic surgery! I’ll yap about her below the screenshots:

She’s actually so babygirl 😭😩

Okay quick rundown: previously she was an Elf, she is now a tiefling.

Deianira (meaning killer of men) or Nira, is my redeemed Durge character. She is a (brace yourself) Zariel tiefling Paladin of Vengeance with an oath to Lathander to be redeemed and previously was Bhaal’s favorite child.

Nira is romancing Astarion(spawn run).

For some OC backstory:

Nira remembers everything. Well, almost everything. She remembers years she spent as Bhaal’s spawn slave killing innocents in his name. There were few kills she enjoyed, and those only included rapists and abusers, typically of the male variety (this is not to say she didn’t want to kill women abusers, the men are just more abundant no one come at me I know women can suck sometimes too).

She didn’t have complete autonomy, you see and the times she did, she was kept under close watch by our dear friend Sceleritas. She enjoyed Sceleritas’ company and he became the only one who truly looked after her in any sort of caring way. He wanted her best interest which was often to not defy Bhaal because he knew the sorts of punishments that would come about.

She begged him to let her leave and vowed they would never see her again and she would flee and be safe. Orin was after her anyway because her dear sister wanted to be the chosen.

So she left.

She pledged a vow to Lathander to be reborn as someone new and swore vengeance against her father and all evils like him.

Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Bhaal knew all and he could see all. He directed Orin and said if she would take Nira to the mindflayer ship to be infected then Orin would become the Chosen.

You know the rest. The only part Nira doesn’t remember is getting taken and infected.

Tagging everyone who interacted with the last post(don’t hate me lol):

@andauril @monsterlimbs @fleetstreet78 @chaoticbardlady99 @foxingoodtimes @confusedelk @hibiscus-tav @ava-nox @virgohaux @allymcfee @just-ilde @kirahlene @peacefullysouless @anabsurdistcryptid @madschiavelique