#red i’m dying

[itstivan]

where were all these influx of fanfics back in 2022-2023?!?

WHERE WERE ALL THESE INFLUX OF FANFICS DURING THOSE 406 DAYS?!

[frownyalfred]

I love all the headcanons about the batkids reaching certain ages and realizing how insane it was that Bruce did (thing) at that age, but I ESPECIALLY love the image of a mid-forties Jason landing a little too hard after his last grappling line and realizing that, holy shit, Bruce’s knees must have been splintering at this point. AND he had a broken back??

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason (maybe on a dare, maybe because he’s loopy etc.) calls Bruce (or any of the Bats, really) to tell him he loves him.

Bruce is convinced Jason is either dying or about to.

[depressedfungus]

Baldurs gate isn’t a dnd game it’s a really really really hard dress up game

[ravenpureforever]

Red Tornado: You are all insane and I want to study you under a microscope so I’m your babysitter now

Robin:

Impulse:

Superboy: Hey what the fuck

[sixoclocker]

hi (makes starlo a red giant star early)

hey lol (steals all of his hydrogen EARLY so he’s FUCKED UP and RED instead of a MAIN SEQUENCE STAR and he can’t NUCLEAR FISSION!!!!)

here’s an extra doodle

he can talk in full sentences but a lot of the time it’s just too taxing along with everything else he has to worry about

[flowersforfrancis]

[actuallyirish]

If this is not the cutest thing…. How adorable… I can’t… he’s so proud… and Alex sounds so happy… Like… WHAT…

[you-wanna-know]

I would like to remind you all that I can be cute sometimes

[deadsetobsessions]

Y’ALL LOOK AT THE HEADER MY BESTIE COMMISSIONED FOR ME!!! IT’S SO CUTE!!!! I’M DYING LOOK!!! AT!!! HIM!!!

You can find find the artist on twitter: @chaaarco

[aplan-and-astorm]

I just did a synopsis with @thisisntmybedroom

The Marston’s waist game is CRAZY

[jeireilostt]

I’m going clinically insane from the lack of SBG content

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Actor Au!

Where Batman and Co. are the most popular TV series and they’re currently filming Jason’s death.

Only Bruce goes so deep into acting he breaks down for real upon the part where he arrives at the warehouse and digs through the rubble for his child.

[heroesriseandfall]

I know the Tim fandom trope of the Batfam not finding out about his missing spleen until later is mostly for angst and humor so it’s not necessarily worried about the technicalities—but just to be more serious for a moment, I think it’s unlikely Alfred wouldn’t notice a fresh surgery scar when he was wrapping Tim’s injuries from the fight with Ra’s, right after they reunited.

Given it was a recent emergency surgery, it would be pretty obvious I think? Especially since Tim kept clutching that area when he woke up, either from that injury or another one from this issue:

Red Robin #12

And Alfred had just spent the past few months having not seen Tim since the day he opened a grieving Tim’s bedroom door to find him gone (unless he saw Tim briefly during Blackest Night, but even still). Then Dick finally brings Tim back to Alfred unconscious and bloody…I just think Alfred would be giving Tim a very thorough checkup and would NOT miss a recent splenectomy scar.

All this to say this doesn’t mean people can’t ignore these details for fun but I think we could always be milking a lot more angst out of Red Robin #12.

[abooklover]

Lines/things in the red white and royal blue movie that make me scream and laugh hysterically (bear with me cause there’s a lot):

‘an urge I currently share’ (Ellen)

‘Making it was one of the most depressing moments of my career and I once saw Mitch McConnell eating a banana’ (Zahra)

‘You can hate prince Henry all you want but the minute you see a camera you better act like the sun shines out of his ass and you have a vitamin d deficiency’ (made even funnier cause of how literally this turned out) - bonus ‘what if I set myself on fire’ (Alex), ‘we’d ship the ashes to Heathrow’ (Zahra)

‘That’s perfect, you can kill me and I won’t have to go’ (Henry)

‘That’s what makes you so charming. That and your eyelashes.’ (So fucking glad they included at least a reference to this. Taylor’s lashes were working fucking overtime in this movie.)

Henry’s text with the attachment and ‘but we were ever so careful, dear’ (One of my favourite texts in the book and I’m so glad it made it into the movie)

‘Can you think of anything more wasteful’ (Alex), ‘Perhaps this conversation’ (Henry)

Henry’s weird little attempt at dancing while chugging out of a champagne bottle with on fist pumping weakly into the air (he is so me it hurts)

‘He grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football’ (Alex)

‘Princes aren’t allowed to be gay, you should know that’ (Nora)

Alex trying to look cool for when Henry walks into the red room (we love an awkward boy)

Alex and Henry jumping apart to do the most unnatural things (Alex inspecting flowers like it’s his job and Henry perusing the bookshelf) like the idiots they are when Amy walks in on them making out

‘Are you still…’ (Alex) ‘Like Stonehenge’ (Henry), ‘or Big Ben’ (Alex)

‘Henry and I are much happier against walls’ (Alex)

‘Are they known for their homosexual tendencies’ (Alex)

‘And I thought Alex Gabriel Claremont Diaz was a mouthful’ (Alex), ‘He is’ (Henry) - and the fucking looks that followed it (kill me now)

‘I went to an English boarding school dear, trust me you’re in good hands’ (Henry)

‘Once, unsuccessfully’ (Henry)

‘Oh gee kid I’m sorry to interrupt your process of becoming but you’re the one who decided to put your dick into the heir to the British throne’ (Zahra), ‘Technically I’m the spare’ (Henry), ‘Not talking to you sir’ (Zahra)

‘Every time I see you it takes another year off of my life’ (Zahra)

Alex’s ‘Noooo..’ and the little laugh he does

‘If I’d had more warning I could’ve made you a PowerPoint presentation’ (Ellen) - another incredible callback to the book

Oscar Diaz’s affectionate ‘you little shit’

‘I’ve been thinking’ (Alex), ‘I seriously doubt that’ (Henry) and Alex’s mimick of it (absolute gold)

‘Or find herself at the top of the staircase with Phillip around’ (Bea, you literally had no right)

Zahra’s face when Alex starts mooning over Henry after his speech, then Zahra saying ‘oh my god, I just have to do everything round here’ and do not get me started on her whole speech to Shaan (greatest thing ever)

‘You might be lousy at keeping secrets kiddo, but I’m not’ (Zahra), ‘Zahra, I could kiss you’ (Alex), ‘Touch me and die’ (Zahra)

‘They can’t keep you locked away forever’ (Alex), ‘We really need to get you a book on English history’ (Henry)

The way Stephen Fry says ‘homosexual’

‘You still haven’t noticed my tie’ and Henry’s little smile afterward (oh how far we’ve come)

BONUS: ‘Do you think anyone noticed?’ and Henry’s exasperated sigh afterward

[potato-jem]

SHOOT ME DEAD. DEADER THAN DEAD. PLEASE