#red dwarf s4
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bellacatt-art · 18 hours ago
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Okay but fun little Red Dwarf fact because I'm screeching about this right now:
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Do you mean to tell me that one of my FAVOURITE Red Dwarf episodes ever was released ON MY BIRTHDAY??? 🤭‼️🩷🩷
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I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!! <33
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heedmyramblings · 7 months ago
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god i love watching long-running, british sci-fi shows with a literally ancient main character that looks much, much younger than he is, hologram technology, a non-human guy with an odd-shaped head, a species of cat-adjacent people, homosexual friendship, a small(-ish) blue spaceship, parallel/alternate universes, and a guy who is really interested in aliens
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zirafail · 1 year ago
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just rewatching s4 and admiring a boy and his fur hat <3
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thatsnoneofurdamnbiz · 7 months ago
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the ace rimmer theme my beloved <333
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zarophod · 2 years ago
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currently rewatching red dwarf again, but this time rating all the episodes out of 10!
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plasticfangtastic · 1 year ago
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American Royalty. Epilogue.
A Homelander x F! Reader/Dadlander fic
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A/N: Here's the epilogue hope y'all enjoy this last entry, it meant a lot to write this I just can't get enough of Dadlander fics, I hope S4 inspires me to write more dadlander fics or fics were I can put reader-chan or OCs as his spouse-- will post part 2 of the masterlist and update my pin post soon.
Epilogue
American Royalty
Homelander hurried downstairs, fighting with his tie as he rushed to the breakfast table, throwing the red string by the foot of the stairs in frustration, just stopping shyly by a mirror to make sure his hair was nicely combed, his phone buzzing in his back pocket– probably another missed call from an executive or Ashley about the upcoming shareholders meeting.
Forks and plates clink downstairs, as he makes his way past the kitchen where one of the maids is cleaning dirty pans, spotting the back of your head as you serve Ryan some juice.
“Good morning, uncle.” Said Elmo sitting on Homelander’s spot.
“Hello kid that doesn’t live here but still eats for free!”
“Father!” 
“Good Morning, princess.” 
He was quick to wrap his arm on your waist and kiss your temple, pulling a chair as he smoothly disarms himself from you.
He stares at Elmo who at the tender age of 15 is the same height as Homelander, he’s a muscular teen, a perfect 80’s movie jock even wearing a varsity jacket, his superhero suit a perfect match to Helena’s. 
Her jacket hanging on her chair and massively oversized, a puffy bomber jacket only achieving to dwarf her small frame– it’s a strong red, and the inside liner it's made out of Homelander’s own cape, her suit tight on her with a red X framing her chest something that had now began to bother her father, her shortie gloves laid next to her coffee, Elmo's was black with a white X on his chest.
Helena and Elmo were an odd match but that was part of the duet's charm, with her stuck at 1.55 cm in height while he was already 1.85 cm and growing, she was skinny and her hair slightly longer just past her shoulders, her bangs still blocking her eyes.
But as she lifted her face away from her tablet, he was welcomed by a beautiful young girl, Helena had everything that made you beautiful, like a majestic peony– she had blossomed to perfection, so pretty he would rub it in people’s faces about just how pretty his daughter was, even the dark circles under her eyes added character to her features. 
Elmo was a handsome boy and a concern, even if your daughter insisted she had no interest in the tall muscular teen, Homelander had begun to remind himself every so often that he couldn’t harm the child, he couldn’t scare him to keep him in line, for fear that Helena would lash back at him if he touched her best friend.
“No tie?”
“Don’t start princess, now eat something, we got an incredibly long day ahead lots of last minutes meetings–
“It's breakfast!” You interrupted taking a seat by his side– no work talk until you get to the office!”
He took a sip of his milk, turning to Ryan who was in an unspoken competition with Elmo about who could eat the most waffles– Ryan had grown to a handsome young man, a light stubble on his cheeks as he tried to look more mature, his hair messy, still in his pajamas which made Homelander’s eyebrow raise... somehow in this state it reminded him of Butcher specially with the growing beard.
“Excited about today?”
“A bit nervous” He chewed quickly, covering his mouth to speak– but am certain I won’t make a fool of myself in the interview”
“You will not fail the university admission interview. Godolkin would be suicidal to reject the son of Vought CMO and the  brother of the Senior Vice president of research and development.” He smiles– Besides I basically pa–
“Maybe he wants to feel as if he got into Godolkin on his own!” You interjected– Ryan has been a tremendous hero, saved dozens of people and has done everything to stand on his own. You’ll do great Ryan. I’ll be there for you and so will Genevieve.”
You look to your side, her face covered in maple syrup.
She looked up, her long white hair  it’s all puffy and a tad frizzy, short bangs on her forehead pushed back and her thick glasses sliding down as she tries wiping the sticky syrup off her lips, you check that her beige dress isn’t dirty.
“You’re going to take care of your big brother today aren’t you, my dove.” John said with his sweetest voice– gotta help him out when daddy is not around.”
He took a long sip of his milk, he looked past you just to get a good glimpse of his small daughter.
Genevieve had unsurprisingly been born just as different as she was extraordinary, her condition had been a source of concern at first– her vision quite poor, her skin sensitive to the sun and her eyes hurt under any harsh light but the V in her system had kept those ailments in check even if she was quick to sunburn it would heal within a day.
It had worried you as she stopped being baby, as she began to waddle towards her father that somehow Joh would cease to see his precious daughter and instead some sort genetic disappointment.
But John had adored her, every milestone was met with adulation and praise, everything he had missed with the other two he was experiencing them with Genevieve, both glued to the other’s hip, she was more than a clingy child, she refused to leave his side as a baby and a toddler-- at times she would even cried harder when hungry because she had to part her father’s side in order to feed, angry that it was you who was responsible for that… eventually you both learned it was easy to get her to latch if he was also feeding with her (for Homelander insisted on breastfeeding and no bottle) you could accuse him of being improper if he wasn’t cooing and falling asleep with your nipple in his mouth, his eyes fully glazed and his mind somewhere else, it made for an odd sight but you both didn't want broken eardrums plus it was somewhat soothing.
  You jokingly teased to get him a bra with a baby bottle just to make it easier for her– as her cries every once in a while would break the glassware, he briefly considered before thinking it was too much… despite that, her clinginess brought him no grief, those 7 months he stayed home had brought a side of him you’ve never imagine he possessed, he was sweet and gentle, extremely attentive with her… the guilt on his face whenever he did something with Genevieve that he hadn’t done with Ryan and Helena would wear him down– forcing himself to part from the baby to spend time with them as much as he could, your kids went to faraway places, overseas lunches, art galleries anything they wanted just to make sure he wasn’t neglectful… only to get home and immediately remove his little dove from your arms and place her on his chest, sniffing on her hair as if he was doing lines.
 By the time you both went back to work she would only really spend time in Vought’s daycare when Ashley, Ashley’s at the time fiancee or Helena’s PA weren’t available for when he wasn’t able to have her on her arms, eventually nobody minded that he had a baby in his arms, she attended meetings that Helena had no interest in and even those she did alongside her big sister, much to your daughter’s annoyance.
 Everything Genevieve did made him fluster and blush, his cheeks and eyes hurting from how much smiling he did, when her first word were ‘dada’ he was born anew, you remember that afternoon as you tried to clean her diaper while he pester you to do it correctly while unable to do it himself– he hadn’t left her alone for the rest of the week just wanting to get to speak more and more, he was heartbroken when he missed her first step but got it recorded from Ryan.
She loved the new cat he’d bought for Helena for her birthday and for a while the two had a one-sided feud for his daughters affections, even more so for his little dove love who seemed utterly fascinated by the hairless goblin.
 With every year his children spend with him– he grew softer and domestic, something you’ve never anticipated.
And a part of you grew more wicked as you were too happy that Ryan began to call you mom, you weren’t ‘Miss anything’ or Y/N anymore, once you found yourself cuddling him and running down the streets to not miss his school events, or staying till late to help him with a science project you were more than enthused when you realized you had become a normal family, he was your boy too.
You had grown to like this life just as much as he did.
The day he hung the cape he hurt as much as you thought he would. 
Homelander had died but he did not.
He bore his scars both as a reminder of that final battle with William Butcher… a painful victory, but of proof that he had survived to see his children grow.
His face had been scarred– starting from his forehead, crossing his lips and chin to make it down to his neck. 
The destruction of his face had broken him but as he saw that none of his children cared for his injury, only that he was alive and Genevieve would never knew anything else, it made it not just bearable but okay. It had been a hard road, a messy road but here he was still working at Vought, still running things and frightening every soul both above and below his station, finding his talents in Hero management taking Stillwell’s former position soon after then heading the marketing department as of two years ago.
You on the other hand had become co-owner of Lucci, after a second restaurant was opened– a more contemporary casual italian joint still serving award winning pizza but now more contemporary italian fair, part of the success had been the quality and ambiance but  being Homelander’s wife did brought a fair amount of foot traffic to your restaurants– it was far from what you’ve hoped to achieve but you had a business, away from Vought’s Tower after that little accident that cost Homelander his face nearly destroyed the company.
But like the flu, it came back the next season just the same.
“So ‘The Watch’ got the green light for being debuted at the shareholder’s meeting, the rest of the team arrived last night after that fuck up with United… and we have hours of photoshoots today” Elmo said as he read his father’s message.
Even with the events that took Homelander’s cape it did not kill his worth to the company, his children now carried the burden to live up to the legacy, which meant continuing with the superhero business.
Nigel had become your daughter’s manager and with Homelander as the one running the department it was a guarantee success, Helena had cared very little about the job, only doing the tag-team work to make you and Homelander happy, to her it was only worth it as just another way to keep her foot in as many aspects of her company as she could juggle.
Tragically she had to work as a Supe and you could tell how much she hated it by the grimace she was trying to hide.
“I just said no work… that includes you Elmo.”
“Sorry Ms. Gillman but Dad won’t stop messaging me.”
Homelander looked at his phone staring at a pic of the final line-up after they arrived to the airport, proud of his selection, he had vetted them, tested them and had been working closely with all of them for their debuts… perhaps Helena’s intellect was partially inherited.
“Is okay honey… is a stressful week… 'The Watch' is a 15 year long project… The industry has had a rough couple of years but test audiences and online response has been overwhelmingly positive, so Vought is very nervous about this launch… and we know Nigel and Sven are mostly nervous about Phantasma.”
“I’m not going to fuck it up, I just don’t want to do this nonesense. I'm busy.”
“The suit gets your funding. V30 might’ve been a success but the rest of your research is dependent on your public image.”
Helena grumbled not wanting to air out dirty iodine stained laundry, she looked down to see the family cat pawing at her leg asking for bacon which she happily obliged.
You settled in the entrance, trying to apply sunscreen to Genevieve as she seemed bothered by this new brand’s smell.
“It's not that bad, my dove.” Homelander came in holding two ties in his hand but no Helena, Elmo behind him looking stressed out– you have to bear it. It's good for you”
“It's yucky!”
“Daddy and mom just want you to be safe out there in the sun… I’ll go buy you a nicer one later, I promise.” He was considering firing the maid who purchased the wrong sunscreen in the first place but he would run it by you later– but first you need to go and take care of your big brother… think of this as your own suit.” He said with a smile.
“Is not a suit! Is cream!”
Her voice was airy, he handed you the ties and took the bottle of your hands instead, kneeling to press a fresh dot on her chin, she pouted but let it happen.
As he got up you wrapped a light blue string on his neck, tying it with more ease than he could ever muster, while Genevieve skipped towards the entrance to find her brother.
“I thought we’d skip the rebellious years with her.”
“What, you think Helena is out of hers?” you lightly chuckle– Ryan wasn’t too bad tho.”
“Ryan was delightful… Helena… thank god she’s Elmo’s problem most of the time.” he said while shaking his head.
“I’m not dating Elmo!” Helena came down with a large messenger bag under her arm and her tablet in the other– even if they love us online.”
“Your dad didn’t mean it like that… more like am your babysitter”
“Say that again and I’ll break your jaw.” she said sharply.
“Always so feisty… I feel bad for your teammates.” You say as your daughter grumbles.
They headed outside bickering about the usual things.
“You look handsome.” Your hands flatten his lapels, getting a feel of his suit– I’ll take Ryan and Genevieve out for lunch so make sure you and Helena eat, don't make me call Elmo.”
“If you ignore these” he pointed at his scars and the slight drop on his left eye– "I tell you at this rate we might have to adopt this kid.”
Admittedly you two had given him his own guest bedroom, and his parents just took you as their designated babysitter as they work and traveled for work tirelessly, but when the superhero business took place it was them who handle it, as you stayed home with the other two kids… regardless in his own way Homelander was fond of the kid who also ate him out of house and home.
“I think you look handsome with the scars…” You whispered.
Your arms wrapped themselves on his shoulders, he grinned sliding his hands into your hips and into your ass, giving you a playful squeeze.
“As I always say… it makes you look distinguished… is sexy.” he smiled for the breathy voice turned him on.
“I think the older I get the worse they get…”
“Oh John… the gray hairs and the scar just makes me wanna fuck you in the coat’s closet before you head for work.” you whispered with a moan.
You kissed him, the peck turned passionate, he lifted you just enough to make a passing maid fluster, your hands trying to control themselves to not mess up his hair, you squeezed at his neck and shoulders as his tongue explored yours.
“There’s children here!” 
Ryan covered his eyes, trying to rush past you two as he mimed some gagging, rushing to his bedroom to pick up a forgotten item before returning back down with a gust of wind.
“After you drop the kids… swing by the office” He leaned into your ear, his hand still in your ass– please. babe”
“Those fingers better be warm for me.”
He purred into your lips, hesitant to stop kissing you but as he heard your daughter shout about being late, he reluctantly freed you, as the maid handed you your coat.
As you followed, a small group had already formed on the street catching selfies with Elmo, Helena hid her face behind her gas mask wishing she could flip her finger to the annoying crowd as she entered the car after forcing herself to pose for some photos– Homelander waved you goodbye after kissing Genevieve. 
Ryan and Genevieve are already in the car by the time the crowd disperses and Homelander’s car departs.
“What?” Ryan still looked grossed out, his ears already picked up on what his parents had discussed– hey somebody is gonna have to kept your dad in a good mood when he finds out you’re applying for the Performing Arts program”
“I shouldn’t have to lie to him about not wanting to be a superhero.”
“Being a superhero is what will get your foot in Hollywood. The indie scene can be kind to you but if you want to be the next ‘Guillermo Del Toro’ or Miyasaki– you need to keep that suit to impress future investors, producers and studios.”
“So the same thing he says to Helena… he’s going to kill me.” He mumbles.
“Just dedicate your first Palme D’Or to your father… he’s gonna kill you over making animated movies instead of ‘real’ films more likely.”
He scoffed.
“Daddy don’t get angries!.” Genevieve took a juice box out of her backpack, struggling with her little chubby fingers to remove the plastic off the straw– you guys are meanies!”
“Oh Genevieve… you’re right… Daddy is a saint” You help her out, too young to catch the sarcasm– just let me handle your father.”
You leaned towards him, placing your hand on his lightly stubbled face after handing your daughter her juice, looking at him with adoring eyes, he was your sweet boy you could almost see a younger Homelander in him… no… a young John.
“Your father will be mad for a minute but the moment he sees a whole theater room fawning after your work… when he sees you happy beaming with pride… he’ll be crying while starting a round of applause if anything he’ll be so cringy… Leave it to me… besides you’re not staying in Godolkin anyhoo.”
“NYU in two years…” He leaned into your hand– He did… made a big deal when I qualified for South by Southwest… and… he did got pretty upset about not qualifying for that other one…”
“He was looking forward to booking those flights to England” You smiled softly– let him throw his tantrum, my sweet boy. I’ll be right there if you need me, Ryan.”
“Thanks mom.”
Homelander stood beside Nigel and Ashley as the photoshoot took place, a couple heads from marketing and media relations hovered around, the director of photography assistant drone on about the shoot but Homelander paid her very attention, his sight on the computer screen analyzing the images, ensuring his daughter got the best angles, he made his way to interrupt the photographer as he picked  “bad” shots, the man was used to helicopter parents trying to do his job in his behalf but superhero suit or not… nobody fail to recognize Homelander, so he listened.
“Her chin looks fat.” He mutters, the man swallows and just nods moving towards his assistant to take his camera once more, Helena scoffs ready for another round of torture– she better look perfect in these concept photos.”
The man nods rapidly.
“Show your powers a bit, princess.” He says towards her– "whose idea was to do a photoshoot in civilian clothes…?”
Homelander turned to Nigel.
“Makes them seem fresh. If they look stylish and beautiful in and out of the suit. People will eat it up… it would be easier if we could recreate what made ‘The Seven’ succeed, and other teams that try to be of that caliber but this isn’t meant to appeal to only the American market, so this works… heroes these days have to be approachable not godly figures …trying to set up a global network of superheroes alongside juiced-up V30 soldiers has been tricky.” Said Ashley-- so we gotta play perfectly."
He rolled his eyes, fidgeting with his phone, getting a glimpse at the other supes waiting for the turn or getting their make-up retouched.
“I feel like we should’ve been doing this 30 years ago to have some older supes in the different territories but this mentorship program was a genius move, Homelander, sir.” Ashley spoke proudly– but the girls are the best representatives of Vought and their countries.”
“Just shipping our recyclable waste overseas.” He chuckles in a creepy manner as his sight focuses on the other heroes– "I almost feel bad for Roman Candle, having to be stuck with Deep in Greece.”
“She has a good sense of humor about it” Ashley smiles at her direction– hopefully he stays there.”
The team was a pretty visually pleasant group, Phantasma and Poltergeist as reps of the American division, Roman Candle– a pyrokinetic Supe representing Southern Europe, the tomboy of the team, her playful pixie cut messy around her golden lyra band, her face covered in freckles, her suit a toga with a chainmail dress beneath, and armor gauntlets and boots, then there was Hex Trap– a powerful illusionist falling into her trap meant having a schizophrenia speedrun representing Northern Africa, her suit was rather casual, a victorian long sleeve blouse, leather shorts, fishnets, black combat boots, and gothic accessories, Hex was a statuest teenager, her hair long and braided and very much french-raised but they had another candidate for western Europe so Homelander handed her Norththen Africa; next to Elmo was La Tunda– a shapeshifter who could turn herself into a frightening beast, she was body positive but not offensive according to Homelander’s team, she was well liked in her country had she not been strong he wouldn’t have given her the opportunity, he had supervise her re-debut makeover– her outfit quite small and her middrift was a bit exposed but it was cheaper in the long run for her to destroy less material, and finally to her left about to have her donut re-fried was the team’s visual–  Joro-Spider a successful model, a dancer, social media influencer, a real idol and the representative of East Asia, her long black hair gave her an elegant look and her black, yellow and red suit her half hoodie and sneakers gave her a cool modern look, she was the 2nd most popular after Elmo leaving Helena 3rd in her own team, it aggrevated Homelander but she was a big draw for audiences.
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Homelander didn’t hesitate to laser that half-eaten donut making the girl squeal as she dropped the evaporating pastry.
“That’s your third.” She hides her face knowing not to piss him off– go wash your face.”
She runs trying not to cry.
“Ashley… why is Joro’s hair fucking neon-yellow?” He noticed the tips she was hiding in her hood– why was I not notified!?” He screamed.
“She showed up this morning like that!! We already talked to her parents but her fans” she nearly dropped her phone trying to unlock it to show him the hair reveal post, his ire calmed down at the sight of 200K and counting likes– it's a hit.”
“Tell her to come by my office after we are done here.”
Neither Ashley nor Nigel argued with him.
Late afternoon came and all he had left to deal with was the remnants of Helena’s tantrum, each photoshoot had driven her mad, and now she had locked herself in a closet, chunks of her hair trailing her path into the closet.
“Helena I can break this door, or Elmo can faze into that closet and get you out… but I don’t want to do any of that… I want you to come out. I’m not angry.”
He could see her cowering beneath some coats, he had displaced the crowd leaving them alone in the dressing room, he dropped to the ground resting by the door.
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to stress you out… I know between the shareholder meeting, your research and your hero duties you have enough on your plate… but this is a big thing for the both of us… for me… it would be easier if you could just be Dr. Gillman.”
“Can I?” Her voice was a squeak.
“Not yet… not until you take over Vought… after that you can be just my perfect and sweet daughter.”
The door opened slightly, she crawled towards her dad, letting herself be cradled in his arms, sniffling loudly, her once long hair had been cut short, barely passing the lengths of her chin, it was a choppy mess even more so than before, he rested his chin on her head as he wrapped her tight.
“‘The Watch’ means a lot to me… after Butcher did this to me… after his hooligans almost took down Vought… I thought it was over but with you… with you by my side we have worked so hard to rebuild this empire… I’ve worked so freaking hard to get my crown back just for you… just so I have something to give you… I know it's killing you, but this is the only way to bring together our fractured kingdom… for you to lead this new generation of Supes to greatness. We’re American royalty, Helena… it does not come easy to have so many burdens.”
Helena clung to his suit, trying to not pout any further, trying to stop herself from crying.
“The world needs us… it needs your brilliant mind to guide it… in 10 years I don’t doubt you’ll be the head of Vought and no doubt the rest of the world’s superheroes would be under your loyal command… but we can’t get there if we don’t make sacrifices.” he kissed her head, burying his nose in her hair, as he coddled her– or you rather hand your crown to Elmo? Ryan?"
“No… You think the public will love me? I’m not you… am not pretty… I can’t actually fly… am not even that tall! And I suck with people!”
“You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world. When I was your age I was locked in a cage having to practice speaking to people via intercoms and phones… and now I give amazing speeches! Is a skill that you can learn, and flying is cool... is a great selling point but you’re strong and a genius.” He kissed her again, glad that she was still so little compared to him– You’re my daughter and your mother’s daughter… you can do it… for a little bit longer.”
“Maybe Genevieve will like being a hero… it’s hard.”
“It’d be nice if at least one of you does.” His smile is slightly forced but he can’t bring himself to be upset– just to make me happy.”
“She can fly already.” She sounded mad against his chest.
“My little dove lives up to her name… but we need to build a world for her… a world for us Supes and you’re the only one that can do that.”
“I just have to work for a little longer for mom’s and your future…” She lifted her head not trying to get out of her father’s embrace, he looked down at his hand pulling on her nose playfully– I won’t waste 10 years of hard work over some shitty photoshoot. Sorry.”
Butcher had nearly taken everything from her, she had to do everything to make sure Vought would remain, she had to protect her mother’s livelihood and her father’s too, so here she was consumed by anxiety, slashing the hair that’s been played, pulled and burnt, sprayed and washed all day– her nose burning from all the chemicals and oils.
“Let’s go back to the office… that’s enough for today… you got your daddy’s talents! There’s more than enough good shots already, shame that your teammates are so god awful at this… you did great… amazing…” he kissed her forehead gently pushing her away from him, as they struggled to stand up– my sweet girl… you will do amazing things as the head of “The Watch” Vought better watch out..”
“The world you mean.”
He looked at her hair, lifting a few choppy strands in-between his fingers, letting out a soft chuckle.
“I can make this work. Leave it to dad.” he winked.
“Thanks… dad.”
The two-day extravaganza was about to culminate, the fair and meetings had almost ended and the new international team’s first iteration had been a resounding success, Homelander had been approached by his team regarding representatives for India and a NATO backed hero for the eastern bloc, a couple names being thrown: a young man from Hungary and a young woman from Ukraine… he wanted to kept the female ratio high due to future sex-appeal and to foster audiences to view these heroines like daughters or nieces that they wanted to support and watch grow… and maybe with time also fuck– he turned to Also Ashley to politely reject all male prospectives for the time being.
He took a long sip of his ginger ale as Ashley and other execs discussed providing China with their own supe after tentatively selling some small quantities of V30 just to test the waters… he scoffed at the idea, almost colliding with Andrew their stupid CFO over it, it would be easier if he could just rip his jaw off instead of repeating himself, it was weird to be the sensible one on the table for once, leaving the room before he actually killed a man, his eyes constantly flaring as the discussion heated up.
You nudge at his shoulder, inside the basketball stadium that has been transformed to encapsulate the magnitude of Vought, there was the lounge… ‘The Seven Oasis’– the acquisition of the Brooklyn Nets and the Barclay Centre had been divisive but sports was always a good source of income– It was paying off to have your own facility especially after such aggressive expansions.
You both stared at the floor below where only 1 hour ago The Watch officially debuted, the electricity was still in the air as the girls were still on stage partaking in a Q&A, after a lengthy introductory documentary, showing their profiles and accolades.
He turned to see you in an elegant but simple cream coloured two piece suit, in your hand a glass of moscato.
“Ryan is a natural in front of the camera… remember when he was just a shy little thing?” You said resting your weight against him, he shifted lightly on his seat to make you more comfortable, as Ryan and some attractive woman hosted the panel presentation– The Patriot… he plays the role flawlessly, hard to believe it's Ryan under the mask.”
His brows lowered and his lower jaw pushed forward.
“You cannot keep giving me the silent treatment, it's been days.” You remark but he didn’t make a sound– can’t believe it took me 10 years of putting up with you for you to finally leave me alone… guess my back can finally rest.’
He put his ginger ale down, glad that the room was so private, away from the relentless onslaught of annoying execs, Joro was delighting the audiences showing her powers as she swung across the ceiling with increasingly more unpredictable and aggressive movements, it was quite the sight getting the crowd rowdy, he looked away to give you a murderous look.
“I swear we told you.”
“Don’t gaslight me. The one who does the gaslighting in this relationship it's me!” He remarked with a bark– you should’ve told me!”
“Well what’s done is done.” You tried to keep a confident look on your face– now what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? Make Ryan hate me!? Just gotta smile like a good boy and deal with it!”
“Exactly!”
“I love you too.” He said with heavy sarcasm, He looked back on the stage listening to Elmo discussing his exploits in Ontario, his goals for protecting the America’s and looking forward to heading down to Mexico– He will continue his Superhero duties! Let him try being fucking Scorcese all he wants but he’s not taking the suit off!”
He smashed his fist on the armrest, breaking it with ease, younger you would have jumped in fright but now it was but a lull, no palpable sense of danger in his actions, you took a short sip of your drink putting it down on the floor, your ears picking up on Elmo’s answering the never ending barrage of dating rumors, being a handsome boy surrounded by a bunch of cute girls certainly put him in a phenomenal position but he treated the answer with respect saying that these girls were like family to him.
Homelander eyes spark as the question became about Helena, he awaited the idiot’s response but Elmo was more than genuine when he spoke of her like her sister, the bastard did sleep in his house enough, he even ended his answer referring to Homelander as his uncle, looking into the booth with a wink– Helena was doing her best to stay still glad that her gasmask covered half her face and her bangs hid her eyes so nobidy saw her pissed off expression, the interviewer turned to Helena about the same question.
“Too busy.” Her tone was playful– maybe when am older and not helping take care of the country! Just not with this doofus!” She elbowed him playfully.
Ryan gave her an approving nod, definitely acting like the good older brother he was, as he reviewed the next question and quickly proceeded to ask the one after.
The audience seemed happy about that, Homelander relaxed turning back to you.
“You have my support there… The Patriot won’t fade away… our boy isn’t stupid, he knows being a super puts him in a better spot than others… but I better have your support for his dreams, in the same way I have supported this grand vision of yours… in the same way you and I have supported Helena.” You rested your chin on his elbow– remember when Helena graduated from MIT… how happy you were?” 
He could still see his little 11 year old in her cap, a couple murmurs irritated him as they were incredulous to see a small child on stage, he had taken the job of her driver: flying her back and forth, he was happier when she went to Cornell just to make the trips shorter, her bubble was useful but you both were too worried about her going on her own meeting planes, birds and god knows what else.
He was one of those embarrassing parents that evening.
“Am not upset about him not pursuing Crime Fighting… am upset about being lied to… of course I’ll support him! What kind of dad would I be if I stayed mad about it!?”
“I’m glad you are still doing your best.” You stroke his chin letting him kiss your palm as he follows your tender gestures– Maybe we should start heading downstairs to meet the rest of the execs… heard from Ashley, Russia is throwing some big numbers.” 
“Oh geez can’t wait for ‘The Cold War 2: Electric boogaloo edition’ these fucking idiots… Where’s Genevieve? She’s probably tired or high on sugar” he started getting up leaving his mess for somebody else to clean, offering you a hand to help stand up– you look great… that skirt makes your ass look amazing, hope the whole place knows just how good my wife’s ass is…” He gave your behind a light smack as you foolishly took the lead– better than wine.”
“She’s with Ashley’s wife, and thank you… you look cute in a turtleneck… maybe I get to see you out of it.”
As you left the suite, he stopped himself by the door looking into the crowd as ‘The Watch’ began to leave the stage.
“Was it worth it? Getting married and living with me and such.”
He could hear Helena's heartbeat finally calming down, Hearing Ryan speak kindly into her ear. You stared at him unsure as to what brought this on but whatever his ear was picking up might’ve stressed him out.
“I’m happy. I don’t recognize myself some mornings. But I didn’t think I was going to make it back then, always afraid CPS or Vought would take my kid away… wondering if I had a future to give her… then I realized I don’t want to recognize that old me…”
“Sometimes I miss that voice in my head but I don’t think I want him to come back… I like this… I like us… I like the Gillman’s… even the cat,  that fat lazy naked cat.”
“You love that cat, you give him chamomile and oat baths so his skin stays healthy!” You laughed thinking of Homelander and that tiny goblin mewling as he stroked his paws with some soothing balm cream made for cats– I like this too… I like that we made it work.”
“And you… you like me? Like you liked me the first time?” you were a bit incredulous at hearing this 50 year old man sound like a teen for the moment, his hand heavy on the door but jittery– I like you… like you lots.”
You blushed, trying to calm down as he swayed lightly on his toes.
“Well you certainly don’t come home covered in blood and guts as often, like when we first met… Jesus you ruined so many nice tops because you were such a messy but sweet boy… shame… I wouldn’t mind getting rid of some shirts” you giggled, you were always a little messed up, you had to be to find him lovely in the first place– I like you… a lot… so…do… you wanna go out on a date with me then?”
You twirled with your hair, biting on your lip trying to be cheesy, here you were a teenage girl  asking your crush on the school yard once again.
“Y-Y-Yes!” He swallowed, looking genuinely nervous– Should I get covered in blood for our date?”
“Maybe… altho maybe we should save that up for after Ryan moves to campus, Helena should be busy at work… and I get Ashley and her wife to babysit Genevieve… they want some more practice before the adoption finalizes…so promise?”
“Promise.”
His eyes glowed in a way no superpowered laser ever could imitate, he held your hand as he closed the door behind.
You both thinking about where to go for your next date.
“Maybe we could go furniture shopping and get a singular bed for our bedroom…” He said nervously.
“Maybe” You winked at him.
The end.
A/N: lowkey want to write a sequel to thsi fic but centering on Helena as she tries to be a hero one day so this its baity, also Helena is canonically a lesbian so she'll never be with Elmo as to how Homie will react well I always write him as canon Bi but he doesn't know she's gay yet so who knows.
Taglist: @demodemo909 @ghqst-fqce @immyowndefender @fromforeigntofamiliarity @thychuvaluswife
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variousqueerthings · 2 years ago
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thinking now about how many different versions of themselves they've met now as well. alternate universe selves, younger selves, copies of themselves, selves where they changed the courses of their pasts, selves that were born instead of them, etc. idk what this says, but something about the way the show tends to say "you are versions of yourselves that aren't all you could have been"
(of course now for the first time we've seen versions of them that are cruel and violent, and also rimmer's wearing a corset. much to unpack)
we're solidly in s4 of red dwarf, and delving ever deeper into just how much rimmer hates himself. curiously we had an episode in which it was established that rimmer -- according to his own standards -- couldn't make a better life for himself (in this universe) than what he managed, while lister could have (and potentially still could?) made more of himself and possibly may even desire to do so?
we're moving beyond the surface comedy of "one unpleasant man who's obsessed with hierarchies" and "one slob who couldn't give much of a toss about most things" although now the question becomes "will that development continue, or in the name of sitcom logic, will the characters eventually stagnate or even regress, so as to preserve the status quo"
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best-tv-theme-song · 1 year ago
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Round 1 is over, full results below!
Round 2 will start on Monday.
What are your most devastating losses this round?? Mine are Milo Murphy's Law, Gilmore Girls, That 70s Show, and Reba. (No respect around here for a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops)
Group A
The Addams Family vs. Fairy Tail
Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat vs. Goosebumps
Wizards of Waverly Place (S1-3) vs. Ed, Edd n Eddy
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood vs. Only Murders in the Building
The Backyardigans vs. Downton Abbey
Naruto vs. The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy
Dexter's Laboratory vs. Kenan & Kel
Parks and Recreation vs. Jujutsu Kaisen
Danny Phantom vs. Pippi Longstocking/Pippi Långstrump
My Life as a Teenage Robot vs. My Hero Academia
Sabrina the Teenage Witch vs. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (S4-7)
Little Einsteins vs. The Benny Hill Show
Teletubbies vs. Ted Lasso
VeggieTales vs. Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir
Lizzie McGuire vs. The Proud Family
Steven Universe (Original Theme) vs. The A-Team
Group B
Doctor Who (New S1-2) vs. Charlie's Angels
Thomas & Friends vs. Bob's Burgers
Community vs. The Brady Bunch
Adventure Time vs. Ever After High
Seinfeld vs. Ranma ½
Batman vs. Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Monty Python's Flying Circus vs. One Piece (2023)
Friends vs. Rocko's Modern Life
Sesame Street (S1-23) vs. Saved by the Bell
Total Drama vs. Monk
Full House vs. Winx Club (We Are the Winx)
Looney Tunes vs. Murder, She Wrote
M*A*S*H vs. South Park
Pinky and the Brain vs. Happy Days
One Day at a Time (2017) vs. The Suite Life on Deck
Pokémon (Pokémon Theme) vs. The Andy Griffith Show
Group C
Gravity Falls vs. Milo Murphy's Law
Horrible Histories vs. Leverage
Neon Genesis Evangelion vs. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers
The Simpsons vs. Samurai Jack
The Golden Girls vs. Wonder Pets!
Merlin vs. El Chavo del Ocho
Victorious vs. CSI: Miami
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic vs. Smallville
Good Omens vs. Good Luck Charlie
House, M.D. vs. Pride and Prejudice
LazyTown vs. The Big Bang Theory
Bob the Builder vs. Wild Kratts
New Girl vs. Infinity Train
Arthur vs. I Love Lucy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles vs. The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
The X-Files vs. Pucca
Group D
The Fairly OddParents vs. X-Men: The Animated Series
Sherlock vs. Monster High
Spider-Man vs. Revolutionary Girl Utena
Orange Is the New Black vs. Hunter × Hunter
The Office vs. Angel: The Series
Law & Order (SVU) vs. Arcane: League of Legends
BoJack Horseman vs. Wonder Woman
Jeopardy! vs. Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody vs. Taskmaster
Totally Spies! vs. Yellowjackets
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia vs. Ouran High School Host Club (Japanese)
Yuri on Ice vs. Samurai Champloo
Ducktales (1987) vs. Charmed
Mister Rogers' Neighborhood vs. Shaun the Sheep
How It's Made vs. Tokyo Ghoul
Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! vs. The Emperor's New School
Group E
Kim Possible vs. Once Upon a Time
The Great British Bake Off vs. The Legend of Vox Machina
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power vs. Gilmore Girls
Animaniacs vs. Pretty Little Liars
Zoboomafoo vs. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
The Umbrella Academy vs. The Muppet Show
WandaVision (A Newlywed Couple/Ep 1) vs. NCIS
Reading Rainbow (1983-1999) vs. Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Hannah Montana (S1-2) vs. Gilligan's Island
The Mandalorian vs. Dragon Ball Z (Cha-La Head-Cha-La)
What We Do in the Shadows vs. Inspector Gadget
Big Time Rush vs. Barney & Friends
Power Rangers (Mighty Morphin) vs. Young Justice
Futurama vs. Spy × Family
Succession vs. Bluey
iCarly vs. Code Lyoko
Group F
The Magic School Bus vs. Jackie Chan Adventures
Digimon Adventure (Butter-Fly) vs. The Last of Us
Star Trek: The Next Generation (S3-7) vs. Soul Eater
Zoey 101 vs. Xena: Warrior Princess
Dora the Explorer vs. We Bare Bears
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend vs. Carmen Sandiego (2019)
Star Trek: Enterprise (S1-2) vs. Mr. Bean
Sailor Moon (Japanese) vs. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (S1-2) vs. Red Dwarf
Death Note vs. Phil of the Future
Yu-Gi-Oh! vs. El Chapulín Colorado
The Flintstones vs. His Dark Materials
Game of Thrones vs. Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure
The Nanny vs. Haikyu!!
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends vs. Frasier
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air vs. Black Butler/Kuroshitsuji
Group G
Bill Nye the Science Guy vs. The Facts of Life
George of the Jungle (1967) vs. Veronica Mars
H2O: Just Add Water (S1) vs. Star Trek: Voyager
Star Trek: The Original Series (With Vocal) vs. Hawaii Five-O
Drake & Josh vs. Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman
Puella Magi Madoka Magica vs. Cowboy Bebop (1998)
Lilo & Stitch: The Series vs. Torchwood
The Twilight Zone vs. Wander Over Yonder
Rugrats vs. Columbo
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius vs. The Walking Dead
Hey Arnold! vs. Psych
Twin Peaks vs. Voltron: Legendary Defender
Dragon Tales vs. How I Met Your Mother
Stranger Things vs. Mission: Impossible (1966)
W.I.T.C.H. vs. Daredevil
What's New, Scooby-Doo? vs. Tiny Toon Adventures
Group H
SpongeBob SquarePants vs. X-Men: Evolution
Fraggle Rock vs. Stargate SG-1
Firefly vs. Scrubs
Codename: Kids Next Door vs. Inuyasha (Change the World)
That '70s Show vs. Bear in the Big Blue House
Cheers vs. American Dragon: Jake Long
A Series of Unfortunate Events vs. Black Sails
The Powerpuff Girls vs. Darkwing Duck
That's So Raven vs. Grey's Anatomy
Ben 10 vs. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Cyberchase vs. Reba
Malcolm in the Middle vs. Shake It Up
Teen Titans (2003) vs. Mob Psycho 100
The Owl House vs. I Dream of Jeannie
Assassination Classroom (Question) vs. Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake
Phineas and Ferb vs. Batman Beyond/Batman of the Future
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kirkenovak · 2 years ago
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*The Witcher fandom crying that they have to wait over two years for s4*
Meanwhile, me, from the Red Dwarf fandom: now listen here you little shits.
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red-dwarfer · 1 year ago
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Not a mutual and also not in message form but I saw your reblog about talking to people about Red Dwarf. So, question: who is your favourite side-character (from any episode/series) and why? :)
hi! this is my first ask so thank you :D
ace rimmer has to probably be one of my favourite side characters (obviously he is rimmer) but he also shows what rimmer could've been. ace rimmer shows the audience that he isn't useless. he just wasn't given the realisation at the right time to stop himself from being 'useless'
another one of my favourite side characters has to be camille (s4 ep1) she made kryten feel human affection and love, and it truly tests how he can break his programming. instead of following human orders and doing whats best for the crew, this is one of the first times we see him truly selfish and he does what's best for him and the people he cares about even if they don't want him to.
ALSO, i love it when people ask me things about red dwarf, so thank you so much!!!
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roseofithaca · 1 year ago
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Apparently a lot of people were not happy with S4 when it aired? I don't quite get it, though again I did binge the show when S5 came out so maybe it was different watching it at the time. But I'm curious if that's still the majority view.
But S4 has a lot of stuff I love. Everything setting up Mary's departure is great and the exploration of grief is amazing, the Captain and Kitty moments are adorable, the Sorry Song, Julian and Alison teaming up to be chaos buds, Robin's whole big damn hero moment at the end. And also it has the best Christmas episode, and iPlayer includes that as part of the series. I've heard some people felt it became a little more serious and less comedy but I didn't really notice and the dramatic parts worked really well imo? Again, I've watched Being Human UK and Red Dwarf S7, I've seen how much worse shows can be when they shift tone.
I love the whole show but I guess if I was forced to pick a least favorite based on episodes I rewatch least, it's probably Series 1. Nothing against the quality, it's just the first three episodes especially feel a bit hectic with Alison very much struggling to keep her sanity, it can come across a bit cringy at times. Series 5 also has a couple weak points but that's mostly because pregnancy plotlines tend to grind the story down for me, it's just a personal thing, but again it has some amazing episodes and moments so puts it above Series 1.
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mystrothedefender · 2 years ago
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How about Top 5 Red Dwarf episodes?
This is super difficult because I'm a huge victim of 'is this a good episode or is lister just cute in it' (ductsoup my beloathed💕) so I'm gunna actually put effort into thinking about it 🤔🤔🤔 honestly though these are in no particular order but these are my 5 fav episodes:
1. The beginning (s10 ep6) It's just got so much in it. It's got cat acting like a cat, it's got rimmer facing some of his father issues, it's got lister in his cute lil red longjohns, kryten is super fucking funny in it. I love it.
2. Thanks for the memory (s2 ep3) Literally do I even need to explain????? Rimmer is sooo disheveled in it. He calls himself a simp. He gets drunk in his lil dancing cage. It has the sandwich speech in it. It has lister making some incredibly (not) heterosexual choices. Also holly wears that dumbass sleeping hat.
3. Waiting for god (s1 ep4) It's just such a good episode. A fun lil dive into what happened to the cats. I love that lister is like 'if I could have talked to them i could have straightened this whole thing out' while simultaneously letting rimmer create his own 'religion' around the garbage pod. I love that rimmer makes fun of lister for being obsessed with the cats thing while also obsessing over the garbage pod. They also argue so so much. I love them.
4. Justice (s4 ep3) its just a super solid episode?? Like. I watch it and its like 'yes this is red dwarf'. Everyone is very in character and oouuughhhh its just good ok? Everyone should watch this episode. Even if you don't plan to watch the whole of red dwarf just watch this one episode.
5. Samsara (s11 ep2) Rimmer dramatically throws himself on his bed after losing a boardgame. Also it's just a great episode.
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spaceweevil · 1 year ago
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I’m kinda just rambling here but I’m gonna list my favourite episode per season of red dwarf.. would love to see who agrees or disagrees 👀
S1- me squared
S2- queeg
S3- bodyswap
S4- white hole
S5- demons and angels
S6- rimmer world
S7- epiderme
S8- Cassandra
S10- Trojan
S11- officer rimmer
S12- mechocracy
And as a last thing… promised land > back to earth
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funnywormz · 2 years ago
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Hmm. Dealers choice for the bingo?
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i decided to do arnold rimmer red dwarf since i thought he'd be a fun character for this bingo, i hope you don't mind lol.
rimmer is like. the original poor little meow meow but he was doing it over 30 years before the term even existed. he's extremely fucked up and sad and genuinely a shitty bastard but also i feel so bad for him and just want him to be happy. but i would stomp on his head so hard if he was a real guy yknow. complicated feelings. there's so much interesting stuff going on with him and his backstory and the whole ace rimmer thing like GOD he has so much bullshit going on and i love all of it
i put not enough screentime/done dirty by the creators bc i feel like. a little frustrated by how he keeps on getting vital character development only for the writers to completely ignore it. he doesn't have to change much but seeing some of that growth stick would be nice.
and from s4 onwards the focus of the show shifts from him and lister's dynamic being the main driving force of the show and them both sharing the spotlight, to rimmer just being at the same level as the other background characters. which is like, fine, i don't rlly mind it, but i think the funniest (and also most emotionally impactful) moments in the show always come from lister and rimmer interactions and to me their dynamic is the heart and soul of the whole series. so it's a bit sad that they get less screentime together and there's less of a focus on rimmer, although this does change somewhat in s10 onwards (tbh part of the reason why i love the later seasons so much is bc they return to a lot of the things i loved abt the first two seasons). this isn't even because i ship them, although i definitely do lol, but just as a comedic duo they're just so so good
also i find it a little sad when rimmer's trauma and self hatred is played for laughs. i get that red dwarf is a comedy and all but man :( can someone actually give him a hug for real. or can he get actual therapy or something. bc he fucking needs it
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gcballet · 3 months ago
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The reblog tags truly did not disappoint.
I need to just stack this with gifs of happy Kryten living it large to correct for the tragic nightmare of his existence beneath the very silly facade.
Like, I truly just assumed that it was lab grown tissue bc of all the talk of GELFs in S4, then someone said like, brains from real humans like Frankenstein and I
Nope.
Also the apple suggestion. Just a tiny little plant cell. SAY APPLE.
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Not actually being a robot but possibly closer to a cyborg programmed to serve, unable to even lie, and he's still just a cheery little guy and super competent in a crisis and protective of his friends? Deeply disturbing and par for the course for Red Dwarf.
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We don't talk enough about the cyberpunk dystopia nightmare that (implictly) puts a tiny bit of human brain inside every mechanoid in the Red Dwarf universe
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goingdowntocowtown · 2 years ago
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thinking about rimmer, a man whose self hatred goes far enough as to blame himself for over 1,600 deaths, and lister, a man kind-hearted enough he refuses to shoot a seemingly unarmed, dangerous, known criminal in the back
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