#recycling that one meme to cope

[one-hell-of-otaku-is-here]

If Natsume Souchirou has million fans, I am one of them.

If Natsume Souchirou has 5 fans, I am one of them.

If Natsume Souchirou has 1 fan, that fan is me.

If Natsume Souchirou has no fans, I am no longer alive.

If the world is against Natsume Souchirou, I am against the whole world.

Till my last breath I will love Natsume Souchirou

[radioactive-earthshine]

do you have any like,,, silly little konbart headcanons? just like,,, little things they do ya know?

!!!

You have come to right place at just the right time.

Here are a few silly little hcs for Konbart that they do (non exhaustive).

1.) This one is recycled from another post. They play "extreme hide-and-seek" where they hide over a huge area and have to rely on their special skills to find each other. Bart cheats at this. Kon caught him cheating and shamed him on social media.

2.) They banter! A lot. It took Bart a little while to understand how to banter but once he did he and Kon rarely shut up, much to the annoyance of everyone.

3.) This isn't even really a hc it is comic supported but they love making up their own game rules with existing games ie "Random Trivia". They love finding new ways of playing games and throwing in new rules or sometimes even combining games together in ways that only make sense to them. Most of the time the changes are just to make each other laugh but sometimes it's to make the games harder.

4.) Bart just slips little goodies in Kon's pockets randomly through the day. Little candies (Batman's lollipops) or tiny figurines he found discarded in the street.

5.) At least once a week they have to pretend they are raptors and 'stalk' each other.

6.) They make memes of themselves and everyone they know and send them back and forth, it's a coping mechanism.

7.) They make up sound effects and words to describe the various sounds they hear. "Fizzlezop" "Byobop" "Deededede... dop!"

8.) Kon has absolutely just reached over and tapped Bart's tongue when he's "bleping" while thinking.

9.) Sometimes while they are on patrol they have impromptu games of tag.

10.) They riff on movies they just aren't getting into. Because they both missed out on years of formative development they have a lot of movies to catch up on and sometimes even a classic and well loved movie just doesn't really capture them so they riff and tear into it. Not so silly here but really they do make sure to spend at least one night every other week just watching films to fulfill a baseline.

11.) Needless to say hypothetical conversations and ridiculous debates (part of bantering) is very common between them like "Can you really slap a chicken fast enough to cook it?"

12.) They have really silly little competitions like "How many dogs can I get to like me" or "How many pictures of random orange cats can I take" in a day and the loser makes dinner or whatever it is they decide on.

13.) Kon likes to touch. He's a very tactile (hah) person and thus will always look for an excuse to touch, or be touched by Bart. It's a game they play sometimes where they "accidentally" bump into each other. Or "accidentally" sit on each other or "accidentally" hug. Cissie just wants them to hug without it being dramatic sometimes.

14.) They sometimes come up with wild fake childhood memories and present them to the rest of their friends. The one with the most believable AND outrageous story wins and it becomes part of their official lore. They both get weirdly competitive about this.

15.) They cast themselves and all of their friends in movies and shows and have ridiculous debates about it. Kon just doesn't believe he is a Hobbit but Bart is absolutely correct when he insists Kon is Samwise.

16.) Butterfly kisses. Silly sweet little butterfly kisses.

17.) Obnoxious victory hugs that take to the air and involve a lot of screaming.

18.) Sweet/Silly, they trace words and shapes on each others skin and they have to guess what it is. Sweet because it is intimate. Silly because they will choose the most random of things sometimes. Most of the time it is sensual and sweet but Bart has to throw in sometimes "noodle" and it derails the mood for a moment.

[tipsygnostalgix]

Modern Gossip Girl AU headcanons (Blairena edition w boys and other characters mentions at the end):

Tw: alcohol, addiction, noncon, ed and drugs mention but its all mostly already canon. (hey, it's Gossip Girl).

Trans headcanons and gay headcanons. Long post.

Social media:

Blair is a girlblogger, she has a tumblr and a meme instagram account where she blogs about all her thoughts on creative mode

She loves to dress in that aesthetic and in her public ig she posts some looks but they don't get the attention she'd like. She also makes a lot of custom designs and gives a modern twist to the old money, school girl looks she had on the original gg. She is very inspired by alternativ, artsy, recycled fashion styles.

This one time GG finds her blog/ig and exposes her and she gets very selfcounsious about it but at the end everyone likes what she posts so she gets way more followers and becomes very relatable. People find that she's very smart and deep and funny.

Blair likes reading and doing reviews of the things she reads, mostly novels.

When she starts her online journey she did it when she was in a bad place and felt very alone but when people show her love and support she gets comfortable with herself and her following.

Serena is known for doing tiktoks showing her outfits and she introduces Blair to tiktok and forces her to do challenges where they change outfits and ppl have to guess which style is who, that's how Serena introduces her bestie actually and her followers start shipping them.

Serena is a party girl, it girl influencer but her sunny personality makes her very likeable online and so she has a big following. She wears an outfit that B personalized for her once and everyone goes crazy for Bs designs so they start making content w Bs clothes.

Blair and Serena together are the moment, whether they are on a tiktok or walking to school together or at an event people are there for them bc their styles are so iconic and together they match in the best ways. They both basically look like rich monster high dolls. They get vogue to do a note on them and so on.

Sexuallity and gender:

B for Bi, Blair is bi, she is so certain about it since she kissed Serena when they were tweens bc Blair wanted to practice kissing but she was scared to tell Serena because for Blair feelings are very important and she didn't wanna ruin her friendship w S. (She totally posted a lot of situationships memes and blogged about it as a coping mechanism later).

Serena is pan at first but after dating a lot of guys and not falling really in love with any of them she realizes she's a lesbian cause being w Blair fills her with a much stronger kind of love that surpassed all of the others and suddenly her lack of romantic interest and why she can't commit in relationships makes total sense for her and everyone.

Blair is trans, she knew it since she was very young so she had an early transition. Her parents supported her a lot, Her mom being a designer and her dad being gay, they knew all about it. Serena ofc was w her for all of it and was the first to know. When they were little they liked to play dress up w their moms designer clothes and thats how everyone found out.

Serena goes by she/they pronouns, and there's a point in her life where she just doesn't give a fuck about gender or pronouns cause she's very free about it like why do we have to have gender... can't we all just be people? She's very that mentality.

They are very disrupting and that's what makes them so special, more of a force together.

Drugs, addictions and mental health:

Blair vapes and smokes weed, she started smoking with Nate and they just hang out to smoke and talk about feelings, at first Blair had a crush on nate cause he was so charming and they dated but... well you all know what happened. After that they were distant but grew together again as besties.

Blair had an ed and she had an ed twt, Serena made her delete it when she caught her crying with it open. After that she went to a clinic like in canon.

Serena struggles with an addiction with alcohol, she started to drink to cope with stuff, but then she abused it and got to a very bad place and after intervention from her friends she got sober but struggles w it sometimes, she relays on Blair for support.

(Tw noncon) Serena tried coke with Georgina but left it after Blair found out and got really upset about it. Blair got into a fight w georgina about this and the other noncon stuff she did to Serena in canon. Georgina gets cancelled.

Serena and Nate both have adhd and struggle together in class and then in life. Blair, Chuck and Dan helped them study.

Relationships (Everyone):

Like I hinted, Serena and Blair eventually get together. They are the main focus of the story, not in a romantic way but in a soul mates, best friends who love eachother kind of way, the romance ends up being all the things they do for eachother, the risks taking and the heartbreaks and finally the realization. Blair loves reading romance novels and wishes she were in one but little does she knows... until she realizes and starts to obsess with Serena as her prince charming.

Blair has a thing for Jenny at one point but then she sees Serena is dating Georgina and totally goes insane with jealousy and the need to get them apart. Jenny notices a fixation with Serena on Blairs side and gets emo and dark about it, teaming up with Georgina to get Blair and Serena apart. This doesn't work and Jenny realizes too late that she fucked up but at the end of it the only thing that was right was her intuition that there was something going on with S and B that was more than friendship. Jenny gets very heartbroken. She had pictured a life alongside Blair as very famous fashion designers, she hates Serena for taking that away from her.

Serena tries dating Dan and Nate. First Nate and she friend zones him, then Dan and they both realize they are gay together and become besties. Dan goes to Serena with relationship problems. Serena goes to Dan with Blair problems.

Nate, Chuck and Dan are together... Chuck and Nate were besties as kids but Chuck is basically Max from the new gg and started to have a lot of relationships while Nate is more of the romantic type. He falls for Serena first but in doing so he meets Dan and totally falls harder and fast for him. When they start dating Chuck notices and gets jealous, like someone touched his property. Chuck shares this with Blair and Blair just tells him to get over it and since he's the great Chuck Bass, he shouldn't have a problem with getting Nate back. Chuck tries this but Dan doesn't let him, they start an enemies to lovers arc fighting for Nate and then falling for each other. Is so much drama w them.

Georgina is obsessed with Serena in a toxic way, she can't stand Serena's love for Blair being stronger than Serenas love for Georgina so she does pretty nasty stuff to get Serena away from Blair, this ends up blowing up in her face and getting them closer than ever.

Chuck is also trans, his dad was not cool about it and he had a harder time transitioning but he did it anyways. Hes also bi like Blair. Him and Blair are the t4t it couple. They try dating like Serena and Dan but end up as besties who scheme together for Nate and Serenas (and then Dans) love. Nate is pansexual and Dan is gay. Nate uses he/they pronouns and feels about gender very much like Serena. Dan is the only one who is cis.

Well I know this is long but the thing is that I've been thinking about this since I watched gg for the first time like a year ago or smth. I know the fandom is very cishet but idk maybe someone likes this so I'm putting it out here.

[a-second-chance-su-au]

FIRST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

Tapas Link! | FAQ! | Discord!

Shoutout to @inkquill256 for helping me with the coloring on this one!

I ramble about this page down below the cut if you wanna read that lol.

Likes are great, but reblogs are what really help me out! Thank you!

So first thing’s first, since this is based on the actually show- which had the same shot multiple times in different cuts- I am doing the same thing here. Cope + paste a sketch, bring in some old backgrounds, you get the drill lol.I only drew 2/7 panels on the bottom page, the rest of the background were recycled from the first!

It’s not plagiarism if you steal it from yourself!

On another note, there’s a new meme format now.

Go nuts lmao

On another note, thank you so much for 2000 followers! You guys absolutely rock and you’ve made my week tbh. I love each and every one of you so much, I hope you know that. <3

If you haven’t already, vote in the 2000 followers poll! It decides how we celebrate, and lets you give me feedback on the comic! It can go a few different ways, and I want to see what y’all want most. If I can work those in, it would be really cool!

Going back to the page, stop reading if you don’t want to be told what’s going on! I am going to talk a bit about Spin’s illusion powers and how they work. It won’t be giving away too much, but this is your formal spoiler warning!

Stop reading...

Last chance to look away...

Okay, we good? Epic.

As I talked about in this meta post, Spinel has illusion powers, as shown in Drift Away from the movie. I am using those here. They don’t always happen with a sparkly sequence- the first time/this episode is going to really be the only times we see that happen, just like in the show when a gem introduces a new power for the first time. Think Pearl doing the “HaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA” thing when summoning something out of her gem for the first time, or how when Garnet got rid of her gauntlets the first time, light swirls around her hands for a solid 5 seconds (or more??). Same thing.

Spinel DOES have limits to this power. I will not tell you what they are just yet, but she can handle a lot all at once. She’s had thousands of years of experience. However, all the experience in the world doesn’t mean anything when it comes to making illusions real. She can only control the visual- texture, sound effects, special effects, and all of that kind of thing are out of her control. Keep your eyes peeled for that. ;)

K, thanks for reading this far. I hope you enjoyed, and plEASE send me your memes. I wanna see what y’all do with it lol.

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)

John: Am I cute

Six: Whatever makes you happy

--

Marina: Where’s my perfume?

Eight: I drank it

--

Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that

Five: I feel like doing that to you

--

Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen

--

Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts

Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE

--

John: *attempts to do something but fails*

Nine: Bitch thought

John: Shut up

Six: Bitch thought

Five: Bitch thought

One: Bitch thought

Eight: Bitch thought

Adam: Bitch thought

John: I hate you guys so fucking much

--

Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???

--

John: Raise your hand if you love dogs

Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish

--

Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead

Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up

--

Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.

Six: Become a lesbian

Six: Adopt a cat

Six: Plant a garden

Six: Live in a forest

Six: Destroy the patriarchy

Six: Travel the world

Six: Fuck shit up

Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*

--

Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl

--

Adam: Dude, are you high?

Sam: What? No

Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-

--

Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???

Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-

Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019

--

Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!

Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-

--

Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN

Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*

--

Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn

John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you

Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars

--

Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?

--

Literally anyone: *laughs*

Eight: Giggles

--

Hannu: No sad, just ball

--

Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-

--

One: Can I use your headphones?

Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-

One: Shut up you dumb fuck

--

Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch

--

Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?

Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?

--

John: What even goes on in your mind?

Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...

John:...

Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop

--

Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.

--

Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?

Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?

--

John: Hey, are you gay?

Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-

--

Six: *opens her online-shopping package*

Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?

Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-

--

Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away

--

One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?

--

Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!

Six: Ok pay me then

--

Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies

--

Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-

Nine: I don't know you

Sam: Bitch-

--

Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me

Marina: Why?

Ella: Why the fuck not?

--

Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*

John: Why'd you laugh?

Five: It's a coping mechanism

--

Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's

Sarah, horrified: The WHAT

Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds

--

Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-

One: I will fucking drown you

--

Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS

--

One: Oh my god she's so cute

Adam: She has a girlfriend

One: Sharing is caring

--

Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL

Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH

--

Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else

John:...

Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away

John: Um...

Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag

--

Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money

--

Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately

Six: No

Sam: What?

Six: That's not allowed

Sam: Wha-

Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*

--

Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN

The pigeon on the sidewalk:

[my-reality-my-rules]

hihi!! so i’ve been trying to shift for a while now, and one of my biggest sources of motivation is shifting youtubers and listening to their stories. i’d like to believe i have a pretty good bullshit detector, so i can usually tell when people are lying, and one of my favorite shifting youtubers who i watch constantly definitely blatantly lied during a live. ever since then, i’ve picked up on different things they seemed like they were lying about, and now it’s got me questioning them and literally everyone else i watch on youtube, and if anything this person says was ever true. i guess i just wanted to ask if you’ve experienced this before you shifted for the first time and knew for sure it was real, and how you delt with it and kept yourself motivated. i’ve just been very sad and unmotivated in general and this has just made it worse :-(

[thanks for this ask!]

yes, oh my god. i like to corroborate some of these people's stories sometimes to spot any inconsistencies or half-truths. it makes me slightly irritated seeing some stories be recycled half of the time,, but what can you do 😒 not everyone's calling others out on it, but sometimes, the criticisms of having a differing opinion compared to the majority just aren't worth it. sub-comment arguments are just a pain to deal with.

anyways, the first times i did shift, i always looked for the details first. as in, the elements of things i know I've never seen or felt before. textures, sounds, feelings, and et cetera. it's one of the reality checks i often do. during my first times shifting; since, before then, I've never fully experienced it before, i had to make sure that i was truly comprehending what i was seeing. that's why my posts on my first shifts listed out the more specific details and designs of things.

it is demotivating. finding out that some of the people you follow fake it, for whatever reason...i feel betrayed, and severely disappointed. i just absolutely hate it when they lead you on with their stories, only to notice something off, and realise just what's happening.

initially, i took a break from trying to shift the first time i encountered this sort of issue. i also went on to look for other people's opinions on it—whether for proof or for validation, it didn't matter—i just wanted to see what the general conclusion was. in a way, i felt slightly comforted seeing others' reactions too. for the most part, i know I'd ignored it altogether at some point, and moved on.

it can bring some people down, and make them lose hope in shifting itself—which leads to others calling the shifting community fake, delusional, or attention-seeking. a lot of people say to believe whatever you want when it comes to shifting, but if the one giving you those beliefs admits or appears to be forcing it, then it's really going to seem there's no point in trusting the validity of shifting itself.

it's a hot mess. honestly? i really want no part in it. but as a shifter myself, i know i also have a responsibility in educating both non and baby shifters as well in these matters. i guess this blog is a way of me coping with it too, not just as a form of escapism. i dealt with my demotivation by pulling myself up and saying, 'hey, you know there's a problem. you know you can help. you've finally done it. so, why can't you do something for them?'.

just before i successfully shifted, i convinced myself to actively pursue what i wanted—that even on the off chance that it was all some hoax, at least i had something to cling onto, something to believe in, something that had kept me going. at least i took the risk. and you know what? it was worth it. it took time, lots of it, but it all worked out.

another way i dealt with it was through memes and shitposts. i have no idea if it's just my broken sense of humour or if they were actually funny but they did wonders to lift my spirit up. i don't know how to describe this—but tumblr memes and shitposts are just another kind of experience. there's simply something about them that makes their existence useful and entertaining.

the shifting memes I've seen and saved have actually helped a lot, even when i didn't realise it at the time. whether it's the irony or the relatability in these posts that get me, all i know is that they give me another reason to keep trying.

i truly hope you're able to overcome this issue. here—for extra motivation, i hope this also works.

[this is from a previous post btw]

have this cursed image. i hope this haunts you every time you feel sad or about to give up. then, when you remember it, your mind halts to a stop and you get the sinking realisation of 'What the fuck?', and 'What am I doing?'. make it so that you want to forget about this image, and run as far away as possible. when you do, i hope you recall this post, and realise how much you're missing out on by simply surrendering to your uncertainties. the changes could be not much at all, or they could be significant. either way, the line between skepticism and success is blurred here.

in all seriousness though, i will drag you around through your misery if it doesn't work. \(ಠ益ಠ\) YOU \(ಠ益ಠ\) WILL \(ಠ益ಠ\) SHIFT. even if it took longer than you wanted, or if it looks and feels harder than others make it seem, it will happen.

[zed-36]

It is my Thing to be into things w small fandoms and I’ve never seen a small fandom like this get so worked up about stuff like fan content. Ex. People tired of bad memes being posted daily and complaining and in turn memers being annoyed by fan fiction, fan art, and actual discussion and immaturely spamming memes when ppl say they’re tired of them.

You can’t force a fandom to produce content but it’s also logical to be aware that lazy meme production doesn’t do anyone any good mostly when said memes’ only relation is the image source and not the actual subject. All tiny fandoms I’m in are little communities with wavering activity and they’re all accepting and aware of that. No one is gonna force activity and we’ll take it when we get it. But acceleracer’s fandom seems to chase after what it doesn’t have- constant posts about how the series is dead and how Mattel has somehow betrayed us or whatever nonsense. And cope with it by circlejerking the hell out of a community like reddit. It’s not taken seriously enough to keep discussion alive and those who are so deep in circlejerk meme hell also seem to be the types who are scared of real “fandom” activity... ei fan art, fan fictions, head canons, new theories etc.

It is a disappointing backwards development w the fandom that I have tackled in posts before, a few years ago. People need to not recycle the same Mattel Betrayal posts and not spam the reddit with nothing but nonsensical memes, if they want a real fandom that feels new and interesting to stick around in. But again, ppl seem to do the opposite of what most fandom do to stay interesting. The fact I’m seeing people “retaliate” against the Reddit’s rule on memes is hilariously sad lol but it says everything about the less serious side that somehow still demands some sorta interesting content to randomly come their while. While not making it at all.

[evisxerate]

Mentioning this for like, the 3rd time on this blog but I hope that at some point the #actually bipolar tag gets like, helpful and informative posts like the ADHD, etc. ones cus it sucks to go on it hoping for some stuff similar to what I find through the others only to be bombarded w/ almost only depressing memes n shit

I mean don't get me wrong I relate to tons of the stuff on there too, and like I know most (or even all) of us are really depressed and are using humor to cope and connect but it's just like. the constant recycling of this depressing shit is a lot. and like, it'd be so nice to have some uplifting informative blogs here and there too, ESPECIALLY informative ones bc hearing experiences + info from other ppl with the same illnesses is rly helpful I guess

And while I'm at it some of y'all in that tag need to try to tag triggering stuff :') cus it sucks hardcore to go on there and see ppl talking about suicide and self harm and destructive behaviors that could potentially trigger others w/o any kind of warning at all, but maybe that's just me being sensitive or some shit? idk it'd just be nice to feel a little safer and more comfortable in a place that's supposed to be for like, everybody w/ bipolar disorder ig

Shruggggg

[canvasofthecosmos]

Random Things the Zodiac Houses Rule

1st(Aries) House : 

what you sound like when yelling, sports, courage, infants, competition, temper-tantrums, the kind of facial expressions you make, muscle cars, making your presence known, introductions, exercise, unintentional injuries, war, what you’re prepared to stand up for

2nd(Taurus)  House :

land-ownership, bank accounts/debit cards, diet habits, ability to stockpile $ and resources, how it feels to live in your body, density, luxury, the stock market, steady income, museums & collections, spring flowers, farms, rich soil, the 5 senses, your comfort zone, what you’re most stubborn about, sculpture

3rd(Gemini)  House :

random talents/party tricks, daily life, cliques, the bubbling chatter in your head, media(books/apps/shows/video games), curiousity, snacks & candies, your neighborhood, running errands, trivia, phone calls, receptionists, post offices & stationery supplies, sticky notes, your handwriting, androgyny, brainstorming, lying/trickery/pranks, elementary school, cliques, sounds you pick up on

4th(Cancer)  House :

vulnerability & letting your guard down, the more nurturing parent(not necessarily the mother!), cravings, menstruation, cycles, hormones, puberty, middle school, your earliest memory, ancestry, interior design, how you act when hurt, memorization, habits, fluid retention, your innermost self, softness, warm foods, interior design

5th(Leo)  House :

gambling, what you put on a pedestal, creative projects, children, the area of life in which you’re most dramatic, shiny things, love affairs, popularity, birthdays & gift giving, play, high school, what you channel for a fun night with your friends, taking chances & rushing in wholehearted, the way you hold yourself, posture, what warms your heart, bold statements

6th(Virgo)  House :

physical healing, gut feelings(you have neurons in your stomach!), how you view your coworkers and act around them, adulthood, stress, filing cabinets, chores, clarity & practical knowledge, pets/house plants, recurring health ailments, routines, yoga, insecurities, servitude, repair, medicine/herbs/acupuncture/massage/spas, digestion

7th(Libra)  House :

not only what you love in others but also what you abhor, sugarcoating information, customer service/small businesses, mediation, law, what’s attractive about you, grace, law, giving, street fashion, sweet talking, dating, things you hate doing alone, marriage, chocolates & pastries, traits you project on others

8th(Scorpio)  House :

recycling & reusing objects, inheritances(can be $, sure, but also traits from your ancestral line), witchcraft/the occult, drains/trash cans/bathrooms(not an insult, they make the world a better place!), rotting, insects, trauma, psychology, impregnation, losing yourself in another person completely, purging, fevers, suppression-information that is CONSCIOUSLY shoved down and hidden, sugar daddies/babies/etc, intentional injury/scarification/tattoos, big ticket purchases, anything borrowed,  loans/credit cards

9th(Sagittarius)  House :

your go-to extravagant foods when you’re partying or on vacation, public transportation, buffets and banquets, intentional condescension and being on one’s “high horse”, coooooolllleeeeeege, weight gain, where you push things too far, what fills you with boundless joy, viewpoints you’d fight for, prophecy, excess, what you worship as a god, blind optimism, religion, the belief system that guides your life

10th(Capricorn)  House :

pressure, gravity, your stricter parent(not necessarily the father!), the energy left behind when you leave the room, how you want to be remembered, long-term goals, self-punishment and restriction, muscle stiffness, skeletal structure, ideal image of yourself, architecture, your internet persona, big business, management positions, time, walls, efficiency

11th(Aquarius)  House :

your reaction to being caught off guard, contained water, god complex/angelic attachment, likability, the kind of people you befriend, memes, technology & the future, the internet, astrology, bonuses and raises at work/lucky circumstances due to your connections, experiments and science, what you’re unintentionally condescending about because it comes so naturally to you, notoriety, electrification

12th(Pisces) House:

mold & mushrooms, media like gemini(especially video games for some reason), what your birth was like/how it imprinted on you, emotional healing, illicit substances, anesthesia, faint whispering and images you can barely pick up on, repression-information you SUBCONSCIOUSLY shove down & don’t even realize it’s there, fairy tales, sleeping habits, hypnosis, the astral plane and past lives, confusion, coping mechanisms, makeup/photoshops/illusions, celebrities(they surrender their lives to the masses), your methods of numbing pain

[gg-astrology]

Hi! I love your blog and it’s so so helpful. Thank you for your work! I was wondering what you think about a pisces sun and capricorn moon person?

Hey there!! 💕💕💕 Ofc sure, I’d love to Let You Know What I Think (I love them💕) 

[Below Cut: Pisces Sun - Capricorn Moon 🐠]

Surprisingly snarky, like once you get to know them thats their Main Method of Communication (*despite what Mercury they are, thats what they show to OTHER people)

Either they’ll get into a Fandom (and love it so much) or become a menacing Meme Machine, either way they can’t stop won’t stop. 

Will try to communicate with you using their interests (your shared interests) – jargons and the ‘culture’ will seep into them, but at the same time they’re just Big Nerds. 

If they’re into memes, they will definitely call you out for recycling old memes, but they themselves are the Real Culprit of doing that (and will buy you cute meme gifts they think you’ll enjoy– sharing the experience together). 

Insightful thoughts, broad and often selective in what they consume from others. 

Kind of like ‘yeah I’m really into Harry Potter but some of the stuff JK rowling did I definitely don’t agree with. I just wish she wouldn’t have done that.’

They have their own opinions on a lot of things, but they don’t really feel the need (maybe nervousness) to voice it out first.

Doesn’t like being pushed, or forced or stressed. They don’t cope well with that because they have their OWN needs/demands to go through. 

One of the most accepting people to others, because they have to go develop their self-acceptance themselves. 

Romantic at heart, if they’re into reading/poetry they will try to write their own as well. 

Usually, lets other people state stronger opinion first. And they’ll either agree with or give you a disgruntled face if they don’t agree. 

Surprisingly mild mannered to others, but not to themselves. Might ask themselves ‘why?’ a lot, like ‘why did I do that? why did I do this?’ in their lowest, they might ask ‘why am i like this?’ but let’s hope they don’t get there. 

Communicate visually, like show you a video/picture or leaves you text/letters/stuff. 

Is there for others, they’re the type of people who would make themselves available for others to schedule a hang out with or let others know they’re in the area (*if the other person is terrible at leaving the house/isolating themselves. The Pisces/Capricorn will take the initiative to make themselves avaliable for hang outs together)

Quiet time together is quality time. You don’t have to talk all the time, sometimes sharing the same table reading books and occasionally making quirky eye-brows and quips is good enough.   

Procrastinate stress/work by lying in bed looking at the ceiling (*if they talk through it, it tends to help them) 

Most likely, you’ll have a Pisces/Capricorn friend who has shown you the Best (Worst) Meme/Video ever so that you can have it seared into your  eyes/mind even when you sleep. To think of them when you’re not together. 

Pain should be Felt Together so that They Can Complain about it Without Feeling Bad. 

If they’re ill, and their body feels like it’s out to kill them. Their melodramatic suffering increases by 3x (although they’ll be like ‘shrug its ok’) 

The first one to offer an ‘I’m sorry :(’ and sympathizes with you, they are There for you but they Will Not Solve Your Problems for You (*depends on other placements too, but they’re terrible enough on their own as it is they dont know how to actually help you if you don’t Self-Realize yourself) 

That’s all I have for now!! 💕 Thank you for asking I hope this is applicable to you too?? ;; 💕💕

[streamacademe]

Week 83, Day 577.

I’m not going to lie, things are pretty forking stressful at the moment. On top of my daily PhD project pressures, I am leaving for the US in three weeks, which means I have to get EVERYTHING sorted for that, both in terms of my work and personal life. Additionally, my housemate (and best friend) is moving out and my boyfriend is moving in within the next two months because we are all doing them adult things!! 🌟 This was a sudden decision and is going to be a huge transition for everyone involved, both in terms of material things and personal life changes. And although I am very excited about all of the above, I am also scared, stressed, and bloody overwhelmed!! 

I have previously mentioned that I am trying to be a lot more minimalist and sustainable in my life. I have been on the path towards this lifestyle for a few years now; it is definitely not an overnight process. However, to cope with all of the above, I have really kicked it up a notch lately. But before I go into that, I just wanted to share that, for me, minimalism is primarily about the following things:

Having more time (in so many contexts). ⌚

Having more clarity and being more focused. 🌱

Being a lot more sustainable and environmentally conscious. 🌍

Saving money. 💷

Making packing (especially for a 35 day trip) a lot easier! ✈

Being less stressed. 🌊

Personal freedom. 🌿

So, this weekend I had decided to brutally start re-tackling the items I own, primarily my closet, which although I have de-cluttered many times before has been/still is my biggest challenge. I started off with a total of 185 items, which may not seem like a lot to some people, but is a lot for someone who is striving towards more of a capsule wardrobe/project333 lifestyle. So, I took out all of those 185 items, cracked open a red bull, and ruthlessly started going through everything. It was tough, it always is, but I managed to get my stuff down to 139 items! That’s 46 items that I no longer needed, replaced by space and clarity; something I could really do with more of right now. ⭐ My next step will be to do the backwards hanger challenge over the course of the year, which will hopefully help pull out some of those last lingering items. Note: I have donated all of the unwanted items.

Photo: Me doing them minimalist things; took a total of 11 hours. 

Being minimalist not only MASSIVELY helps me in dealing with day to day challenges and stresses of the PhD and life in general, but it also helps me be a lot more sustainable. Here are some of the changes I have made:

Day to day:

I always carry a reusable bottle, bag, and coffee cup. ☕

I recycle as much as possible.

I use biodegradable items where possible. ♻

I have bought a mooncup (haven’t tried it yet, kinda freaking out). 

Travel:

I cycle or walk everywhere that is within a feasible distance (usually under 6 miles). 🚲

I am setting myself a challenge to stop collecting hotel toiletries just because they are free when I really don’t need them. 🚿

Food:

I am 4 days away from completing my 48 day challenge of going vegetarian for the Great Lent. It is true what was said in a recent mental resilience workshop I attended; if you repeat something consistently for 28 days it becomes a habit. Being vegetarian is definitely NOT a lifestyle I will continue pursuing, but I am going to be a lot more mindful about the quantity and source of the animal produce I eat. 🥗

I do my best to bring my own lunch to work. 

I am challenging myself to stop taking freebies of food or drink where it’s available, especially when I don’t actually want or need those items.

Consumerism:

I am making it a challenge for myself to stop accepting free samples of stuff.

Since de-cluttering my closet I am SO MUCH MORE aware of the temptation of sales, marketing, advertisements etc. and I am much more conscious of what I actually need. In fact, I am challenging myself to not buy any new clothing items until the end of the year, unless a particular item needs replacing. 👗

I am trying to purchase quality over quantity.

I no longer want to fall for “buy one get one...” schemes. 

I buy most of my clothes from charity/secondhand stores. 🛒

I watched a short video by Zanna van Dijk on sustainability recently, who mentioned that a piece of clothing/shoes needs to be worn at least 30 times for it to be a sustainable buy, and that really hit home for me. 

I know this post is very heavy on minimalism (oh the irony) and sustainability, but these two things are hugely important to me, both in how I cope with the weight of a PhD/adult life and also in terms of my values. If you’re interested on either of these topics, here are some good reads/podcasts/people I follow/listen to for knowledge and inspiration: 

Podcasts: Millenial Minimalists  and The Minimalists (both also on Spotify). Both cover minimalism in terms of physical items, social media, relationships, money, food, and emotional well-being. On the note of social media, I have been off of Facebook for almost a year now! I haven’t looked back once. 🎉

Person: Zanna van Dijk - I follow her content on her website, Youtube, and Instagram. 

Reads: Mark Manson - to be honest, all of his articles, but especially this one, and also this book. 📙

Have a wonderfully productive rest of the week!

Photo: A super relevant meme. Source: Tumblr.

[musingmycelium]

MMMMM gonna be THAT person and ask alllll the questions for the quizzy as companion meme for whomever you desire :D

:0! under a read more for obvious reasons ljlkjlkjlkjkj

1, 8, and 9 answered here

2. How would they meet the Inquisitor? depends on how they came to the inquisition! if he came with idrilla, and honestly that means linayel too, then he would meet the quizzy upon arrival to skyhold, having sent word of their visit beforehand [though not too far before]. if by himself he would just show up and request audience with them -making himself available as an agent.

3. What would some of their cutscenes look like?!! his haven cutscene -if triggered with appropriate approval- would be in the woods outside the main settlement, he’d take the quizzy out into the quiet snow and share some dalish mead with them and offer conversation if they would like it and silence if they don’t. at the end he’ll tell them they were looking overwhelmed and taking a step back to breathe always aides with that.a high approval quizzy can get a cutscene at skyhold in the garden: da’ean tending plants until he notices quizzy walking over, at which point he’ll ask if quizzy has ever tended plants before and will offer to show them what he’s been growing. 

4. What would their romance route look like? Would they be romancable?ever a quiet romantic da’ean is

5. If they romanced someone as Inquisitor, would they still fall for that person as a companion? How would that play out? How would they react to that person being romanced by the “new” Inquisitor?yes! so da’ean romances dorian and the iron bull in my canon, and depending on the quizzy he would romance an unromanced bull or dorian or both still. their relationship is pretty solid, though with da’ean as a companion there would be a few changes to their dynamic mostly in terms of da’ean doesn’t have to deal with the trauma of being quizzy lkjkljklj if either of them are romanced by the quizzy he’d approve so long as quizzy treats them well!

6. Write some of their party banter (in reaction to major events, scenery dialogue, or just shitting around. Askers can specify for which character/event, or leave it up to the writer).this honestly deserves a post of its own so like, i’ll do that.... later.....

7. What would be on their tombstone in the fade (what is their greatest fear)?da’ean’s tombstone read: Silenced and Forgotten

10. If Inquisition operated like DA:O, what would their gift items be? What would their approval and disapproval Feast Day items be?:o i don’t have the feast day dlc so i’ll skip that since i don’t have a base of ref for it lmao. his regular gift items would be flowers, dalish artifacts, and books. the two which would trigger cutscenes would be a small halla charm -a high approval quizzy would learn here about his sister, and an ancient looking book written in a mix of elvhen and arcaic tevene -da’ean would excitedly talk about it and with dorian’s help translate the book revealing it to be a dalish songbook.

11. How would they grow as a person? How would they compare at the end of the Inquisition as a companion to who they were as the Inquisitor?at the beginning da’ean is more reserved and less likely to actively engage with the quizzy, as he gets more comfortable and gets to know the quizzy he’ll open up quite drastically. in terms of character growth da’ean goes from someone who is still tied to the past and doesn’t look to the future into someone who actively makes the future the best it can be for himself and those he cares about -effectively taking his head out of his ass and learning to cope healthily with the past.

12. Do they believe the Herald of Andraste is really the Herald of Andraste?absolutely the fuck not. if the quizzy is also dalish there would be dialogue between them for how da’ean believes the quizzy is sent by mythal but otherwise no he doesn’t believe in the maker one whit, and andraste isn’t exactly in his good graces.

13. If the Herald didn’t have them tag along to prep the trebuchets, what would they do during the battle for Haven? (bonus: would they join in on the impromptu Dawn Will Come choir practice in the camp?)da’ean would organize the younger members of the inquisition and ensure they make it out of haven safely. and lmao he has a lovely singing voice but a chantry song will never fall from his lips

14. What nickname does Varric give them?songbird. which da’ean finds hilarious since his name means little bird

15. Without the influence of their decisions for the Inquisition, which of the companions do they get along with? Which ones do they bicker with?da’ean gets along well with bull and dorian [duh] and sera the best, though he is also friends with viv and solas and varric! he bickers the most with solas and cass.

16. What would the Fear Demon say to them in the Fade to try and discourage them?I HAVE. DIALOGUE I WROTE AGES AGO.... FROM MY LONGFIC SO I’M GONNA REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE THAT SHIT

“You’ll fail the Inquisition just like you failed your sister.” The silken voice of the Nightmare sent shivers running up Da’ean’s spine. He couldn’t explain the sense of wrong the voice gave him, even as the words it spoke wriggled their way into Da’ean’s thoughts like worms. The lie based on truth; how many times had he told himself it was his fault before, how many nights had he spent in fear of his own incompetence and inability to protect those he cared about. How long must he carry this guilt, a month ago he would have thought he would never be free of it. Helpless to his terror.

Now; as he saw the snarl on Dorian’s lips, the hard glint in Bull’s eye, the outrage pouring out from Solas’s entire body, he knew, he knew it was not through any fault of his own. His soiled past was not something he could change, but right here, right now, he could move on. He could chose to leave everything that burdened him in the hands of those who came with him. He could ease the burdens they carried without fear of making things worse.“Doubt me all you want, but you know the truth. It’s your fault the slavers caught her, and it will be your fault when Corypheus captures the world.” The Nightmare must be feeling desperate, it had already gone after Hawke and Stroud, and now it was focusing solely on Da’ean. The breath-warm air and disorienting light was causing him enough problems, but if the Nightmare grew bored of him, he would move on to his next target.

“If you think those are new thoughts Nightmare, you are dead wrong.” They were close, they had to be close to the rift. If Da’ean could hold his attention until they could flee, the rest of the part wouldn’t have to deal with it.“I’ve accepted my mistakes, I know what I’ve done.” The hard knot of old anxiety in Da’ean’s chest was gradually unravelling; his newfound beliefs, hard won and solid, slowing taking its place. “I am stronger for knowing myself, what about you Nightmare? What have you done that you regret, what things haunt your dreams?”

maker that’s old but i’m not gonna edit it bc i’m lazy and its late lkjljlkjklj

17. Where do they hang out in the Winter Palace? What’s their thoughts on the nobles/The Game?he’d be out on the open. area. thing??? where dorian is stan-THE COURTYARD, he’d be chillin in the courtyard. da’ean couldn’t give a nug’s ass about the nobles or the game and will show some harsh contempt for those in the palace with their noses in the air around him like he’s not even there.

18. What’s their reaction to a dragon showing up?“fuck this but also fuck this” and high fives bull

19. Once Corypheus is beaten, what do they do during the party? Do they stay with the Inquisition, or go somewhere else? What could the Inquisitor do to convince them to stay?during the party he’d be talking/drinking with sera and after the inquisition depends on his romance options. if he romanced dorian he’d follow him to tevinter bc Fuck You Bioware eat my entire ass to make sure he’s safe and to chill in the background since there’s no going back home. if he romanced bull or bull and dorian he would travel with the chargers as the newest member to the crew. a high approval quizzy could convince them to stay only if romanced

20. How do they react to learning abominations can retain their consciousness and identity, and even live peacefully with their spirits/demons, as seen in Stone-Bear Hold?psst. pssssssst... the dalish already know and you can take that hc from my cold dead hands.... BUT he’d be excited to see it recognized and would want to talk with the augur extensively

21. What do they think of the discoveries made in the Deep Roads? Do they make any comments on anything?Buck Fuckin Wild is da’ean’s take on the deep roads. he doesn’t like the claustrophobic feel they give him, he does have Some Thoughts on the titans and talks about them with idrilla.

22. If you have another Inquisitor, how would those two get along, specifically?UUUHHHHH i have his older sister idrilla who isn’t a quizzy normally but in an au she might have been the quizzy and they get along great!

23. In trespasser, what “gift” would they give the Inquisitor, if any?a halla charm! one linayel carved for just this purpose and it’s threaded on a strip of leather.

24. What are their plans for after the Exalted Council? Will the Inquisition staying in tact or being disbanded make a difference?he goes back to doing what he was doing before it, it doesn’t change much unless he was romanced and then its dependant on player choice

25. In the alternate reality, if they were corrupted with lyrium, how do they act? What’s their attitude about the end of the world/their inevitable death? oh fuck da’ean would fall deeper into depression, lose all sense of time/meaning and he would just end up with total and complete apathy

[daveywankenobie]

It’s 2am and my mind is racing.

I can’t sleep – and in any normal blog this would be the point where people would probably roll their eyes and say ‘he’s overthinking everything because it’s Friday and he has to weigh in tomorrow.’

However it’s not a normal blog. Nothing about anything is normal any more and I find that my mind has begun quietly screaming in silence as I’ve slowly watched things begin to turn both inside out and upside down around me.

I’ve internalised my feelings so much more than I have for many years lately because it’s been necessary. I can’t write with honesty and expose the lives and personal problems of others – and for the last two months this has largely been my issue.

Around the time I stopped writing (an unfathomable month and a half ago) a person close to me (not my partner) suffered a serious medical event that has had far reaching and long term consequences for their life.

They’ve moved from being independent to dependant practically overnight – and to see the deterioration whilst they fought to survive in hospital for two weeks was heartbreaking.

This was not just because of the pain and discomfort that they were experiencing at the time, but the emotional torment that it caused, both to them and those that care about them.

I started losing sleep almost immediately – and I’m not sure I’ve managed to sleep properly since.

Now in any normal blog this would be the root of my trauma, I’d talk through my feelings around how worried I am about them, why it’s meant I can’t talk, and why it’s de-railed my eating (which it has).

Biscuits have been a thing. I’m not going to lie.

Like I said though – these aren’t normal times in which we live and a sudden impulse to indulge in snacks seems to be relatively insignificant – because this person is not just gravely ill now – they’re classified as someone with a ‘significant underlying health condition‘.

With the last two months heralding the arrival of Covid 19 and the world turning upside down this person is also no longer the only and most significant thing I have to worry about.

Since I last wrote, pubs, clubs, restaurants, bars, cinemas, and leisure centres have all been told to close down.

All of a sudden there are people I love with ‘significant underlying health conditions’ all around me – and they all have to self isolate for 12 weeks.

Furthermore in our suddenly virus obsessed world people with a persistent dry cough and a fever have to self isolate for seven days – and anyone in their immediate household for  must do so for 14 so they they don’t pass on the infection on to others.

I’m in a bizarre reality now where it’s a worry to myself and my brother that my 80 year old father is taking public transport to a launderette to do his washing.

The television and radio are drip feeds of fear and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m terrified for what this could mean for myself and those I love.

Day to day I manage to hold it together and I do my job – but when I get home things are different. My partner can see it in my eyes just as I can see the weight of it all in hers. We’ve been sinking into each others arms for increasingly long hugs filled with sighs and occasionally tears too.

I’ve moved from what seemed like relatively minor worries about not having a career or working direction in life to getting a temp job in early January which now (in mid March) places me on the government’s ‘key worker’ list.

This is because my new job (although I never said at the time) happened to be a supporting role for the NHS.

I’m far away from front line that all of the doctors and nurses are on – but I’m close enough to them to get a sense of the scale of what is unfolding in the UK. Like me they’re nervous about what it means for the coming weeks and months as well as what the cost will be for their families, loved ones and personally.

There’s no hand sanitiser left in the world – and even if there was it probably wouldn’t matter.

On top of this the (surprisingly large number of people) I know who are suffering from ‘underlying health issues’ have almost overnight become ghosts and now I have an insight into what’s developing I fear for their wellbeing like I never have in the past.

In our developed and modern world we’ve been in control for so long – and now it seems like that (illusion?) is slipping.

All of a suddenly (if like me you try to shop after work) every shelf in every supermarket is empty – and even the most basic items are now seemingly out of reach to normal working people.

Furthermore they are fighting over toilet roll – and it makes my blood boil when every day when I walk past Aldi on the way to work at 8.30am I see people pushing trollies containing nothing but four packs of 12 roll toilet paper.

Who seriously needs 48 toilet rolls?!!!

It’s darkly comical that in a world where every breath we take contains the possibility of ingesting a potentially lethal virus we seem to be far more concerned about being unable to wipe our asses.

The memes are everywhere – and yet I’ve found it hard to laugh at the humour of it all.

Almost overnight (relatively speaking) I’ve moved from someone who usually wears his heart on his sleeve to being someone increasingly quiet and with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I know I’m not alone in this.

As social media organises itself around the problem of sudden and enforced isolation for the majority of the population I’ve seen the words ‘looking after your mental health’ again and again wherever I look online.

There are tips for staying fit and healthy, ideas about how to cope if you’re struggling with the enormity of Covid 19 and online sessions where people are forming choirs, orchestras, self help groups.

There are now and even online weigh ins.

You know it’s serious when Slimming World cancels all groups.

I’ve been off plan for two months now and in this respect things have not gone well diet wise. Loads of bad habits that I thought were gone forever have crept back in and I’m struggling to eat properly.

It doesn’t help when there’s absolutely no fresh food in the shops – but I’d be lying if I said that the sole reason I’m not coping with my food demons.

It’s comfort eating, plain and simple.

The mad thing is that this (a situation that would have filled me with a sense of personal failure in the past) is so far down the list of identifiable concerns in my life that it practically doesn’t even register.

I’m walking to work (I still need to go in to the office) along increasingly empty roads, on ever more silent pavements and the people I’d slowly begun to recognise every morning have withdrawn from sight.

The elderly Sikh lady I with oddly bright and clean trainers I passed daily down the road from her temple (presumably on the way to help or pray) is now gone.

The man in a high visibility jacket who rolled past me on his mountain bike always looking hung over near Sainsburys every morning is no longer there.

The student who was always smiling to herself whilst listening to her tunes that I passed by the recycling centre is now no longer walking to college with her brightly coloured blue laniard and badge.

The father and his son who every day sported a cheerful orange anorak (and is always in deep conversation with his dad) no longer walk hand in hand together along the road by the guide dogs for the blind.

The lady by the pub who always seems late and rushes past me to open her garage to get her little red car out is no longer turning the key in her lock.

The girl who stands by her garden wall near my house in a school uniform texting her friends as she waits for them is absent.

There are some people – but the faces I know are gone.

When I get to work there’s often barely anyone around – and I’m now sitting in a small room largely on my own (with occasional visitors) and working on the phone to try and help people who are just as worried and preoccupied as I am.

One area that I’m sure I’m not alone in though saying that I don’t know how to process what’s happening.

My partner is a teacher – and every single day that I’ve watched her leave for work recently (until yesterday when all the schools were closed to everyone but children of key workers) I’ve done so with a sense of dread and worry.

Five years ago I was alone, drunk, morbidly obese and flushing my life down the toilet. I didn’t have any fear of loss because I was certain I’d die through my own selfish and self destructive hand before anyone I loved.

Now that’s almost certainly not going to be true – and in the coming weeks things may well happen to reverse that stupid assumption in ways I could never have imagined back then.

Furthermore the spectre of my mother’s death suddenly looms large.

She passed away fighting for breath as her lungs filled with fluid – suffering from the side effects of chronic smoking.

Her hospital was calm, organised, well equipped and (despite what we may expect given political rhetoric about pressures on the NHS) well staffed and resourced.

She had a room to herself and the nurses caring for her appeared to be busy – but used to and capable of managing their workloads. They were able to respond to changes in her condition, and (somewhat amazingly) kept her alive much longer than I expected them to.

If what’s happening in Italy is going to happen here then we can expect a lot of very different outcomes and radically different care situations not just for people like her but everyone that needs support.

My primal fear of suffocation is (and has been for a few years) now inextricably linked to how she passed away – and the distress that I witnessed in her as she fought to breathe with her oxygen cylinders has never really left me.

Now it’s all back in my mind – because it’s on the horizon once more.

It’s real – and whilst I want to sit down and blog about positive things at the moment I just can’t.

I’m sorry.

I just need to start writing again, now more than ever – and share that I am struggling just like everyone else, but trying to find a way to cope. I want to reach out to the world once again and begin to talk openly about what’s going on inside my head, because it might help someone else as much as it helps me.

As we become more and more physically distant whilst we lock our doors and move into quarantine we must (as much as humanly possible) remain close and look after one another.

Plus – I’d like to finally blog at some point in the increasingly near future about the reality of what happens when the apocalypse arrives and there’s only one sheet of Andrex left.

Let’s face it – the puppy is soft, absorbent, loves to play in the shower and is infinitely re-usable. Furthermore if you have one with a darker coat (especially a puppy that doesn’t moult) then it’s practically the perfect crime.

So I guess I’ll leave you all (with a no doubt delightful) mental image there. It’s now 5 am and I’m no closer to being able to sleep – so I’m going to play a video game.

Part of me feels better for writing all of this down but I know there’s a lot more to come in the days, weeks and months ahead and I’m probably going to get deeper as time goes on.

I want you all to stay safe, stay healthy, and keep going – if only for the purely selfish reason that it would be nice to have someone left to read what I write when the dust settles and life eventually begins to return to normal.

Keep yourselves safe.

Davey

Use the puppy It's 2am and my mind is racing. I can't sleep - and in any normal blog this would be the point where people would probably roll their eyes and say 'he's overthinking everything because it's Friday and he has to weigh in tomorrow.'

[xyloophones]

3, 4 and/or 17 for the ask meme pls? :DD

3. name 3 underrated fic authors in your fandom

sdlakfjs ok there are!! a lot of super amazing authors in the yoi fandom!! but fun fact: im only user subbed to 10 authors lol?? and here are three of my favs

you. obviously??? yall if you don’t know, cookie is my fav author and i have no idea how i managed to trick her into being friends with me?? pls go read burning in her firelight, searching for a signal, and if ur into voltron Heathens if yall havent already !!

@selkiegirls (selkiegirl on ao3) who wrote Softness which is, literally, one of the softest things ive ever read go check it out

@gia-comeatme ( DefiantDreams on ao3) because?? hello i love you??? yall pls go read Once You Go Greek

4. what’s a fic that changed the way you write?

ok so!! neither of these are for yoi but

The World Ain’t Ready by idiopathicsmile is?? legit so gorgeous?? it’s delicately reckless in the way that being queer in high school just is and the characterization here is my fav in the entire les mis fandom and just?? it finished when i was a junior in high school which is the same year that the characters were in and just a lot of it hit home for me and im rambling now but the way the author portrayed grantaire’s mental illness just really taught me about how fiction can help me cope with my own illness and ahhhhhhhhh 

The Thirteen Letters by dropdeaddream and WhatAreFears is just so beautiful and poetic and like, hauntingly, achingly bittersweet in a way that i can’t really describe?? it’s like 3 am summer melancholy?? like it had me choked up the entire time 

theres a lot of other ones but these two really showed me just how much artistry could go into writing?? like listen before fanfic i was reading really bad YA (which!! nothing wrong with YA!! obviously i love it a lot but u know. the stuff i was reading just recycled the same tired plots and character types and ugh) but the internet and fanfic and fan communities really made me fall in love with writing

17. any crazy first-time fanfiction experiences?

……. omg ok so, cookie i think you already know this story but for everyone else:

my first published fanfic on ff.net was this self-insert crack fic for the hunger games and it’s really bad and i distinctly remember thinking at the time that i was a literary goddess

there was like?? a scene with pie scented sharpies?? and i remember thinking i was hot shit because after i published the first chapter i got 57 reviews and that blew my mind 

// fic writer ask meme!! //

[lynniesneezes]

The year is 2123, golf has been outlawed for over one hundred years. Mini golf, with it's model giraffes and scaled down windmills are still enjoyed by the masses, albeit with some modern technology and designs included. Instead of concrete animals and gimmick structures, it is standard to use recycled garbage or scrap to create an intriguing course. One of the more popular styles is that of the 21st century's popular reality show, Ninja Warrior. Other designs include neon tubes, pinball machines, and 3d memes.

How have the rich coped with these changes you ask? To segregate themselves, the rich created courses with holograms that create the atmosphere. These aren't your average holograms, no. These are realistic. Hologram animals walk and observe you, sometimes even get in your way, causing you to change your play, for if you hit your ball through them, points are deducted. You can program the atmosphere into any that you wish. I knew a debutante that programmed it to be her mother's office complete with a hologram version of the woman herself just so the daughter could hit golf balls at an image of her mother. Her reasoning was that matricide is ill advised and a little monetary therapy is better in the long run. The overly affluent started a new trend recently where they hold parties in their oversized homes where they repurpose part of it into a mini golf course. Golf Abode they're calling it. Reddrif Musk held one recently that utilized some of his ancestor's former possessions as obstacles. Rags to riches story Gilda Morry hosted a Golf Abode at her summer house. The pictures of the wealthy playing amongst old masters' statues such as The Thinker and Venus De Milo exploded on the net almost immediately.

Do the wealthy still bemoan the loss of their money given right to exploit resources for a few hours walk where they just talk and compete who hits a ball farther? Of course they do. But at least the only things they are exploiting now are their own houses and social media. Though, before long, I for see them creating a special event showing for entertainment channels whenever they have Golf Abodes.

i think golf should be punishable by death

[secondchaircellist-a]

🍟 🌎 💔 ⏰ 📊 ⛔️

Thought-Provoking Headcanon Meme | accepting |

🍟 - How does your muse feel about their body? Would they change it if they could?

She does think she’s a little bit on the thin side but over all she’s pretty comfy with it.  She thinks her best features are her legs and butt.

🌎 - Does your muse want to change the world? How would they go about it?

She takes a small approach like recycling, being kind to others, helping out the less unfortunate, etc...  In verses were she’s in SHIELD, she uses her position to help out where she can.  One good thing about being in SHIELD is the access to brand new medical tech to research cures.

💔 - How would your muse react to losing a romantic partner? How would they cope?

She would take it pretty hard.  Moving on would not be an easy thing for her to do at all.  Especially if her partner died.  She would likely need some therapy and a good network of friends to help her get back on her feet.  However, if it’s just a breakup she would probably be able to cope better.  It really just depends on how long and close she was with the other person.  

⏰ - Does your muse feel like they need to do things quickly or do they take their time?

Work related stuff she likes to take her time and make sure she’s thorough so she does a good job.  For everyday tasks, it just depends on what they are and how much time she has to spend on them that day.

📊 - How does your muse feel about the state of the world? Could it be better? Could it be worse?

It could be a helluva lot better :/  But she supposes it could be worse.  She tries to live life day by day and be a good person and sticking up for causes she believes in.

⛔️ - How does your muse react to others breaking the law? If they would do it themselves, what is their reasoning?

She would never intentionally break the law, if she did though, she’d own up to it and take whatever punishment she got.  As far as someone else breaking the law, it all depends on what laws they’re breaking.