#records about the countrys my family comes from available online and I’m like???

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

Is refreshing my Spanish more useful in my day to day life? Yes. Do I end up doing that? No, because I’m a fucking idiot who can’t focus properly unless I’m into something. I keep saying “I’ve taken three Spanish classes through elementary and highschool. Re-learning it has to be easier than learning a whole new language!” and then when I open Duolingo I go like “ooh, Norwegian. I would love to be able to read that!” and take the Norwegian lessons instead 😑

[potteresque-ire]

Hi I posted an ask regarding your view point on GGDD's safety by people shipping them openly by bus designs, digital hoardings in their country and various other ways. I am not sure if you have already replied because I can't seem to find it. If not, please notify in case you would be interested in posting, there is no pressure or complaints if the answer is not affirmative. Also, I am hoping to read your piece on current issue DD is facing in relation to Nike. I am sure a lot of people enjoy your straight, detailed and analytical thought process and information presentation. A lot of people especially ifans needs to understand the perspective and position an actor or any national level influencer/celebrity is in when they are a citizen of totalitarian regime.

I would love to read, if you decide to write.

Thank you for your blog. It is highly appreciated and welcomed.

Hello Anon! I sincerely apologise ~ my ask box has been very full, and I answer based on time availability (which isn’t much) and “urgency” of the matter (for example, the recent post on Dangai/WoH skipped the line because it’s current). My whim too, occasionally and admittedly; sometimes I’d like to take a breather and talk about something a little more fannish and fun (like window cleaning robots!) Above all, I prefer giving delayed but responsible, or even no answers over irresponsible ones, given some of the subject matter I touch upon. I’ll ... probably have to write up an ask box policy at some point.

Now, my thoughts about Dd’s current situation ... or maybe, my thoughts about the things around it ...

I should explain where my highly disorganised thoughts this time come from first. I’m a Hong Konger by birth, and I grew up at a time when it was still conventional for Hong Kongers to refer themselves as Chinese, following the tradition of referring to the (believed) origin of one’s paternal family as our own origin. I’ve never, however, sworn allegiance to the Chinese government; the two citizenships I’ve ever held are 1) United Kingdom (Hong Kong was still a British crown colony when I was there), and 2) United States.

The distinction between China, the country, and Chinese government, as the country’s rulership, has therefore always been clear to me. You can love, feel a bond with the country, its people and culture and its 5,000 year old history, without having feeling anything with its 71 years-young government with foreign (soviet) roots. To quote Hamilton: Oceans rise, empires fall, and just the central plains of China alone went through a total of 13 recorded dynasties, during which its border waxed and waned, often splitting what is now Chinese territory into multiple countries under different rulership that sometimes split along ethnic lines—China, in that sense, isn’t even historically a country as we define one today; it’s a piece of land in East Asia where different countries have taken over, risen and fallen. And the major ethnic group, Han, which also includes the vast majority of the current political elite, wasn’t always in control. The Yuan dynasty (1271–1368) was famously built by Mongolians; the Qing dynasty (1636–1912), Manchurians. Beijing, the current capital of China, began its illustrious history as The Capital City for the non-Han based, north-of-central-plain dynasties of Liao and Jin. Liao people were believed to be either Mongolic or Tungusic. Jin people were Tungusic, and would eventually become Manchurians. Xinjiang (新疆), meanwhile, was only under the influence of the ancient Chinese empires sporadically, and its formal conquest / incorporation by a Chinese dynasty didn’t happen until ~ 1760, and by the (Manchurian) Qing dynasty. Its late incorporation is also reflected in its name that means, literally, “New Territory”.

What does this all mean? It means: 1) Loving China =/= loving the Chinese Communist Party;  2) Chinese culture =/= Han culture; especially the Han culture infused with “Core Socialist Values” as defined by the Chinese Communist Party; 3) X dynasty’s territory (where X = one of the ancient Chinese dynasties) =/= What has to be People Republic of China’s territory.

And by writing down these three =/=, which I’d argue are simply conclusions from historical facts and logic, I’ve committed an act of subversion in the eyes of the current Chinese government. Remove the “/” in “=/=“, and you’ve got three of the most important talking points of Chinese propaganda.

The sacred, un-violatable rules the Chinese government tells its people.

Why do I mention them? Because the scrutiny, the attack on Dd read familiar to me, and is probably familiar too to all those who’ve kept even a brief eye on Hong Kong and Taiwanese entertainers who work in China. When a topic that violates one of these propaganda points makes news (for example, the HK protest, Hong Kong/Taiwan Independence), entertainers from Hong Kong / Taiwan—anyone who’ve achieved name recognition—are often placed under immediate scrutiny by Chinese netizens to see whether and when they’ll confirm their loyalty towards the Chinese government. The argument is that only those who display absolute loyalty to the Chinese government deserves to earn China’s money, and the main motivation behind this scrutiny, in this case, is mistrust: Hong Kong, after all, is crawling with British loyalists and rioters according to Chinese propaganda, with separatists who’re conspiring with foreign governments to overthrow the Chinese government; the democratic island nation of Taiwan, meanwhile, is supposedly a rogue child who has escaped its mother (China) ’s arms for the past 70+ years—the child who, by the way, shall be brought to their knees (along with into their mother’s arms) by military intervention. Both places, in other words, are serial violators of =/= 1) and 3), and not to be trusted. If their entertainers fail to affirm their loyalty towards the Chinese government, or if the timing of their patriotic display is perceived as off, vicious accusations—similar to those Dd has endured—will fly, and calls for boycott begin. 

Here’s a related observation, while I’m at it ... no one in c-ent is really allowed to keep their political views quiet, even if they’re not particularly well-known. No one can say, politics isn’t for me, it’s too ugly/too complicated/doesn’t fit my image and shove it under the proverbial carpet. Under an authoritarian government, control is exerted via politics, via propaganda that seeps into day-to-day language. It’s an oil slick that taints and swims in even the smallest crevice of life—there’s no where to hide.

And Dd is far more famous than almost all of these HK and Taiwan based entertainers. 表態 — a public announcement of his stance — is the only option left for him when he becomes the centre of a sensitive political issue such as this one. And there’s really only one stance he can take.

In that sense, what happened to Dd isn’t something I’m too worried about—this kind of attack under the guise of a “loyalty check” isn’t new; and the motivation behind the scrutiny of Dd is the safer to-take-down-his-career rather than political mistrust. I believe this storm shall pass soon, as long as his team doesn’t make an unexpected, big mistake. His non-fan fellow country people will probably view him with a more positive light as well: he walked the walk and did what he believed is patriotic — breaking a contract like this is no lip service when in China, performative patriotism is often lip service — reportedly even among the top Chinese Communist Party officials.

If I must find more defence for his stance ... please forgive me, Anon, but I don’t have much more to say than what I said last night, what I said before about China’s access to information—

—because, admittedly, following, talking about this incident is difficult for the Hong Konger in me, even if I’ve expected this kind of incidents from the moment I joined this fandom, even if I’ve expected, as I’ve learned from RL experience, that most people I adore in China will at some point support causes that I deeply disagree with. The online patriotic rally by c-motors and c-turtles under the associated Weibo tag, while impressive and good for Dd, is nonetheless heartbreaking/frightening for me to watch. Why? Because I know this can easily turn into a call to persecute all Hong Kongers involved in the democracy movements sometime in the future. Because I know the rally will probably be as impressive if this has been a call to persecute all Hong Kongers involved in the democracy movements. Frankly, I stopped thinking about Nike as I scrolled through the posts — I was thinking about the now impossibly wide gulf that separates most Chinese and a Hong Konger like myself; I was thinking about why a Gg / Dd performance can trend on Twitter in 10+ countries all over the world but makes almost no noise in Hong Kong or Taiwan, places that should’ve most easily fallen in love with Gg / Dd with their closeness in language and customs. 

As it turns out, the closeness has only driven HK and Taiwan away; the closeness only brings them more insight of the beast—the government that looms over, cast a long shadow over everything that lives under it, including Gg and Dd.

I was reminded of the fact that many young Hong Kongers probably see me as a traitor just for being a turtle — young Hong Kongers who are n>1 generation immigrants from China, who never spend years reconciling the conflicting viewpoints, the even more conflicting emotions when it comes to this ... almost irreconcilable difference now in political beliefs north and south of the China-HK border. Unlike the older generations who often have immigrants/refugees from China for immediate, un-severable family, who often don’t have the option to walk away from the conflicts, to simply point to the other side and call it evil.

And here are my even-more-conflicting emotions: 

While, over the years, I’ve learned to harbour no ill feelings to the vast majority of supporters of pro-CCP causes—I reserve blame for those who conceal the truth, who’re involved in its policy making, or people who live outside the Firewall and should know better (such as every HK entertainer who’ve expressed support)—I’ve also learned, over the same years, to be fully, painfully aware that every endorsement is still an endorsement for the regime to carry on its ways, and the damage is real, is significant even if the endorsers may not know about the true nature of their endorsements. 

A simple thought experiment: the sheer size of China’s population means it can easily control the narrative on English-speaking social media. The Chinese government already has a history of mobilising its people to scale the Great Firewall and spread its propaganda on, for example, Twitter. It has also mobilised fan circles for propaganda purpose. Again, as a thought experiment *only* (ie, SJD!), imagine the Chinese government mobilising Dd’s Weibo supertopic fans to spread misinformation about Xinjiang.

Dd’s supertopic has 5+ million members—all savvy social media users and many skilled in the art of comment control (a collective effort, performed by fans to bury critiques/dissent on message boards); the total number of Uyghurs in Xinjiang is ~12 million, but their communications are heavily scrutinised and they can’t really talk. Just for the sake of argument, we’ll add the ~ 70% pro-democracy HK population to Uyghur’s side: that’s another 5 million, but most of them aren’t good at raging a battle on social media.

Which side will control the narrative in the end?

And so: I understand why Dd’s statement is what it is. I don’t fault him for making it. Still, I can’t in good conscience say to anyone, myself included, that the statement is a personal opinion and doesn’t matter. It matters a lot. His announcement is another stab to the Uyghurs, and the knife is sharp because of Dd’s social influence.

(Today, I saw Dd’s name for the first time in a Hong Kong pro-democracy online news site.)

The statement carried this sentence:

國家尊嚴不容侵犯，堅決維護祖國利益 The dignity of the country is not to be violated; the interest of our motherland is to be resolutely defended. Firstly: it’s character-for-character propaganda language. Secondly: even if we do not consider the labor camps, this is the condition in Xinjiang’s city of Urumqi. Where’s the dignity of the people who’re living there and who’s preventing that from being violated? The interest of the motherland—what kind of motherland answers an allegation of human rights violation with “interest” (利=profit, advantage; 益=benefit)? What kind of motherland has “protects its interest” being synonymous with surveillance and abuse of its own people?

I have a motherland, but it’s not the one in this narrative.

The issues of Xinjiang and the Uyghurs have also become even closer to Hong Kongers since 2019, when the fates of Hong Kongers and the Uyghurs became intricately tied—as dual examples of Chinese government’s human rights violations and indeed, these two populations who previously had very little in common have shown solidarity with each other against all odds. Their connection being this one simple, awful fact: both having what they value most stripped away by the same government—the traditions, religion and culture for the Uyghurs, the promised freedoms and hopes for democracy for Hong Kongers. As an online meme goes: “Today’s Xinjiang; Tomorrow’s Hong Kong” — expressing the fear that Hong Kongers may soon be subjected to the same surveillance as the Uyghurs today, for the same reason of having put up a fight against who they saw as their oppressors (this article offers an objective summary of what led to the 2009 clash between the Uyghurs and the Chinese government, which precipitated the former’s treatment as will-be terrorists today)(Note the role the US played in this.). 

As such, I cannot look away from Xinjiang. As such, I cannot look at our two beautiful stars, Gg and Dd, without also seeing the flag with its blood red looming behind with its own five stars—the biggest of them symbolising the Chinese Communist Party.

How do I reconcile all the feelings? As I said, it’s a constant work-in-progress, possibly a lifelong one. Re: Gg and Dd, that’s what I tell myself at the moment: that my being an i-turtle shall not sway my view or silence me on any sociopolitical issues, that my being a fan of anything, anyone shall not mean any other human life is suddenly worth less to me, or its suffering, something I shall suddenly look away from. The moment this becomes true—that I find myself depreciating human lives, or ignoring the pain of others for the sake of my fannish pursuits—that’s when I must leave my fan identity until I find my discipline (I do understand the lure of a happy fandom bubble, and I’m far from immune to it). I’m a person before I’m a fan.

These are the rules of my world.

我的世界不退讓。

[lordeellaofficial]

an email from ella - 5.19.20

Well hello there. I realised the other day it had been a minute since we chatted, and I was missing you. Do you wear your hair long or short now? Did you take your piercings out? You’ll probably be pleased to know my hair is big and long again. I think after Melodrama came out I said I wouldn’t put out another record until my hair was long— both because hair takes time to grow, and I knew I needed time, and because I knew the next record would require the longest and wildest hair yet. In many cultures and religions throughout history, long hair has been viewed as a source of power and a link to the spiritual world, and I can certainly say that I have never felt more spiritually rich, and in touch with the voices that guide.

(Yes I’m a fucking herb. Sue me!!!)

I hope you and your friends and family are staying safe. It’s a wild time. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in the past two months.

New Zealand is creeping back to normal. Shops and restaurants are open again. I’ve seen some friends. I feel so grateful for such calm, sensible leadership by our government, now more than ever. I know you may not be afforded that where you live, and I hope you’re taking it one day at a time and trying not to feel too destroyed by the news. I’m thinking of you all the time. It’s that time of year in New Zealand where it’s cold and clear. The light is bright and stark, with lots of contrasting shadows. The sky is the dark bright blue which signals approaching winter. The cars are back on the roads, which is a bit of a weird thing. The quiet streets had given me a glimpse at a different city, one where I could hear the sparrows in the huge London plane trees at rush hour. Maybe one day we’ll be back there again. I don’t know. The first three months of this year started as a blur, and began to sharpen. It was summer, a time of year which is usually so clarifying and special to me, but I was grieving hard for Pearl, carrying it everywhere with me. I found a note in my phone from November which said: I eat a grief sandwich I wear a grief coat I see a grief film. If you know how it feels to lose someone close, I’m sure that makes sense to you. Everything about you becomes a grief thing! The dreamy warm time of year I normally love so much — the beaches and the green fields — it all felt hollow without my boy beside me. I started going back to the studio again in December, just for something to do, and to my surprise, good things came out. Happy, playful things. I felt my melodic muscles flexing and strengthening. Jack came over to work in the studio in Auckland, and I went to LA. It flowed. A thing started to take shape. And then, of course, the world shut down. We’re still working away — Jack and I FaceTimed for over an hour this morning going over everything. But it’ll take a while longer.

I’ve been looking at some of your notes online, and I can feel the (extremely sweet, EXTREMELY flattering) desperation creeping back into your voices. You need it! The thing can’t come soon enough! I understand— I want nothing more than to feed you treats, pop perfect morsels straight into your little mouths. But as I get older I realise there’s something to be said for the pleasant feeling of waiting for something of quality to become available to you. You could have something of lesser quality much faster, but as the high quality thing comes into fruition, a warm feeling grows inside you. Do you know what I mean? I get this feeling when I make bread, or put my seedlings in after the last frost, or even when I wait for a particular package to arrive. Waiting, the thing that felt so pointless and annoying when I was young, is now this kind of delicious activity. In my opinion, the greatest treat I can give you is work that will last ten, twenty, thirty years. And that kind of work takes time. So if you can, I’d like for you to try tuning in to the time spent waiting for something of the highest quality to arrive. Enjoy the sensation as it builds. When the moment comes, our wave will crest super fucking high. I can tell you, this new thing, it’s got its own colours now. If you know anything about my work, you’ll know what that means. I knew I needed a break from touring at the end of the last cycle. I was finding the combination of brutal stage fright and having no fixed home and no connection with what I ate or where I lived extremely grim. I needed to make some food, grow some stuff, go to the beach a bunch, finally acknowledge (and kick) my social media addiction. I wasn’t sure if I’d tour again for a long time. And I still don’t know what touring is gonna look like for me, sensitive sweet pea plant that I am. But I know now how excited I am to get back out there. I want to be playing festivals again — hearing my intro music, watching the band walk onstage. I want to devastate. I want to see a huge line of you outside my hotel. I want to hug you all, and hold your hands. I want to do interviews, talk about the record over and over until I know it inside out. I want to do photoshoots, make videos. I want to eat summer foods in beautiful countries — ice cream and tomatoes and anchovies. I want to use my gift, and watch it grow. Who knows when it’ll be safe to do those things, but I’m craving them, and I wanted you to know. One of my favourite things about when we meet is the hug we almost always share. You say, “Can I hug you?” in a wavering voice, and I reach out my arms and hold you close for 10 or 15 seconds. Our hands rest on each others’ backs. In those few seconds I can feel all the love and care you have for my work, all the time you’ve spent listening and watching and decoding. And you can feel how deeply I care about you, how hard I try to make everything perfect so that I meet your hopes where they are. When it’s safe, I can’t wait to hug you again. The work is so fucking good, my friend. I am truly jazzed for you to hear it. Okay, that’s all for now. It’s mid afternoon, and really warm. I’m going to put on my new shirt and walk down to the water. Fish and fennel salad for dinner. I hope this finds you well. L xxxxxx

[newstfionline]

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Getting creative to help the homeless (AP) After three years on the streets, Tiecha Vannoy and her boyfriend Chris Foss plan to weather the pandemic this winter in a small white “pod” with electricity, heat and enough room for two. Portland this month assembled neat rows of the shelters, which resemble garden sheds, in three ad-hoc “villages”—part of an unprecedented effort unfolding in cold-weather cities nationwide to keep people without permanent homes safe as temperatures drop and coronavirus cases surge. “We just get to stay in our little place. We don’t have to leave here unless we want to,” said Vannoy, wiping away tears as they moved into the shelter near a downtown train station. “It’s been a long time coming. He always tells me to have faith, but I was just over it.” ... “Those (are) folks who would under normal circumstances maybe come into a drop-in center to warm up, or go into the subway to warm up, or go into a McDonald’s to warm up—and just not having those options available to them. What then?” asked Giselle Routhier of the Coalition for the Homeless in New York City.

Raise your mittens: Outdoor learning continues into winter (AP) Cindy Soule’s fourth graders in Maine’s largest city have studied pollination in a community garden. They solved an erosion problem that was damaging trees. They learned about bear scat. Then came a fresh layer of snow and temperatures that hovered around freezing—but her students were unfazed. Bundled up and masked, they scooted outside with their belongings in buckets. They collected their pencils and clipboards, plopped the buckets upside down in the snow, took a seat and went to work. The lesson? Snow, of course, and how snowflakes are formed. Schools nationwide scrambled to get students outdoors during the pandemic to keep them safe and stop the spread of COVID-19. Now, with temperatures plummeting, a smaller number of schools—even in some of the nation’s most frigid climes—plan to keep it going all winter long, with students trading desks in warm classrooms for tree stumps or buckets.

Explosion in Nashville that damaged 20 buildings, injured 3 people an ‘intentional act’ (USA Today) Authorities believe an explosion that occurred in downtown Nashville early Christmas morning and was felt for miles was an “intentional act” sparked by a vehicle. Police responded to reports of a suspicious vehicle parked outside the AT&T building just before 6 a.m. Upon arrival, police said an officer “had reason” to alert the department’s hazardous devices unit, which was en route, when a “significant explosion” happened. Three people were hospitalized with injuries, police said. At least 20 buildings were damaged, Nashville Mayor John Cooper said. The sound of the explosion could be heard from miles away, and people reported windows shaking from South and East Nashville. “It looks like a bomb went off,” Cooper said. The downtown area will be “sealed off” for further investigation and to make sure everything is “completely safe.”

US to require negative COVID-19 test from UK travelers (AP) The United States will require airline passengers from Britain to get a negative COVID-19 test before their flight, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced late Thursday. The U.S. is the latest country to announce new travel restrictions because of a new variant of the coronavirus that is spreading in Britain and elsewhere. Airline passengers from the United Kingdom will need to get negative COVID-19 tests within three days of their trip and provide the results to the airline, the CDC said in a statement. The agency said the order will be signed Friday and go into effect on Monday. “If a passenger chooses not to take a test, the airline must deny boarding to the passenger,” the CDC said in its statement. The agency said because of travel restrictions in place since March, air travel to the U.S. from the U.K. is already down by 90%.

Many just want a hug for Christmas this year, Queen Elizabeth says (Reuters) All many people want for Christmas this year is a simple hug, Britain’s Queen Elizabeth said in her annual festive message, saying it would be hard for those who lost loved ones to COVID-19 pandemic or were separated by curbs on social mixing. In her traditional pre-recorded Christmas Day address to the nation, the 94-year-old monarch repeatedly spoke of hope for the future whilst acknowledging millions of Britons would be unable to have their usual family celebrations this year. “Of course for many, this time of year will be tinged with sadness; some mourning the loss of those dear to them, and others missing friends and family members distanced for safety when all they really want for Christmas is a simple hug or a squeeze of the hand,” Elizabeth said. “If you are among them, you are not alone. And let me assure you of my thoughts and prayers.” “Remarkably, a year that has necessarily kept people apart has in many ways brought us closer,” said the queen, adding the royals had been inspired by stories of those who volunteered to help others in need. “In the United Kingdom and around the world, people have risen magnificently to the challenges of the year and I’m so proud and moved by this quiet indomitable spirit.”

For the European Union, It’s a Pretty Good Deal (NYT) The European Union emerges from fraught negotiations with Britain over its exit from the bloc with a sense of satisfaction—that it has maintained its unity and its core principles, especially the integrity of the single market of now 450 million consumers that is the foundation of its influence. And it is now looking ahead to its life without Britain. The final deal is a free-trade agreement that recognizes Britain’s desire to leave the single market and the customs union while preserving tariff-free, quota-free trade in goods with the European Union. To that end, Britain agreed to a mechanism, with arbitration and possible tariffs for violations, that would keep its regulations and subsidies roughly in line with those of Brussels, to prevent unfair competition. But the deal will require inspections of goods to prevent smuggling. The deal also covers many mundane but crucial matters of visas, health insurance, and air, rail and road travel. It treats Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom, as within the E.U. customs area to prevent the need for a hard border on the island, but requires some checks on goods going from Britain to Northern Ireland. And the deal reallocates fishing areas and quotas, given that Britain is now an independent coastal state.

Pope Francis celebrates low-key Christmas Eve Mass amid coronavirus restrictions (Fox News) Pope Francis celebrated Christmas Eve Mass on Thursday night amid coronavirus restrictions that reduced a normal crowd of as many as 10,000 congregants to a group of fewer than 100 people, according to reports. During his homily, the Roman Catholic leader urged followers to reach out to the needy, noting that Jesus Christ was considered an outsider. “The Son of God was born an outcast, in order to tell us that every outcast is a child of God,” the pope said. May the Child of Bethlehem help us, then, to be generous, supportive and helpful, especially towards those who are vulnerable, the sick, those unemployed or experiencing hardship due to the economic effects of the pandemic, and women who have suffered domestic violence during these months of lockdown,” he said.

Turkey debates law that would increase oversight of NGOs (Reuters) Turkey’s parliament began debating a draft law on Friday that would increase oversight of non-governmental organisations and which, according to rights campaigners, risks limiting the freedoms of civil-society groups. The government says the measure, covering “foundations and associations”, aims to prevent non-profit organisations from financing terrorism and to punish those who violate the law. Civil-society groups, including Amnesty International and the Human Rights Association, said terrorism charges in Turkey were arbitrary, and that the draft law would violate the presumption of innocence and punish those whose trials were not finalised.Investigations based on terrorism charges have been launched against hundreds of thousands of people under a crackdown following a failed coup in 2016. Hundreds of foundations were also shut down with decrees following the coup attempt.

Half of Russians sceptical Kremlin critic Navalny was poisoned (Reuters) Half of Russians believe that Kremlin critic Alexei Navalny was either not poisoned, as he and Western governments contend, or that his poisoning was stage-managed by Western intelligence services, a poll showed on Thursday. The poll, released by the Levada-Center, shows how hard it remains for Navalny to shape public opinion in Russia even as his case attracts wide media attention in the West and his own slickly-produced videos of what happened to him this summer rack up millions of views online. Navalny, one of President Vladimir Putin’s most outspoken critics, was airlifted to Germany for medical treatment in August after collapsing on a plane in Russia. Germany has said he was poisoned with a Soviet-style Novichok nerve agent in an attempt to murder him, an assertion many Western nations accept. The poll by Levada, which is regarded as more independent than state counterparts, showed only 15% of Russians believed what happened to Navalny was an attempt by the authorities to rid themselves of a political opponent. By contrast, 30% thought that the incident was stage-managed and that there was no poisoning, and 19% said they believed it was a provocation orchestrated by Western intelligence services.

Hong Kong street refrigerator keeps giving (AP) Most people who head to Woosung Street in Hong Kong’s old-school neighborhood of Jordan are visiting its popular restaurants serving everything from curries to seafood. Others may be headed for a lone refrigerator, painted blue, with a sign that reads: “Give what you can give, take what you need to take.” The door of the fridge sitting outside a hockey academy opens to reveal it is stuffed with packets of instant noodles, biscuits, tins of food and even socks and towels for anyone who may need them. Ahmen Khan, founder of a sports foundation on the same street, said he was inspired to create a community refrigerator after seeing a film about others doing the same thing. He found the refrigerator at a nearby refuse collection point and painted it blue. “It’s like a dignity, that when you go home, you open your fridge to get food,” Khan said. “So I want the people to just feel like that. Even if it’s a street, it’s their community, it’s their home, so they can simply just open it and then just put food there, and collect the food.” Khan’s blue refrigerator project went viral on social media and people have been dropping by to leave food inside.

Israeli jets fly over Beirut, explosions reported in Syria (AP) Israeli jets flew very low over parts of Lebanon early Friday, terrifying residents on Christmas Eve, some of whom reported seeing missiles in the skies over Beirut. Minutes later, Syria’s official news agency reported explosions in the central Syrian town of Masyaf. Other Syrian media said Syrian air defenses responded to an Israeli attack near the town in the Hama province. The Syrian Ministry of Defense issued a statement saying Israel “launched an aggression by directing a barrage of rockets” from the north of the Lebanese city of Tripoli towards the Masyaf area. Israeli jets regularly violate Lebanese airspace and have often struck inside Syria from Lebanese territory. But the Christmas Eve flights were louder than usual, frightening residents of Beirut who have endured multiple crises in the past year, including the catastrophic Aug. 4 explosion at the city’s port that killed over 200 people and destroyed parts of the capital.

[forevermelodrama]

Lorde´s new letter

Well hello there. I realised the other day it had been a minute since we chatted, and I was missing you. Do you wear your hair long or short now? Did you take your piercings out? You’ll probably be pleased to know my hair is big and long again. I think after Melodrama came out I said I wouldn’t put out another record until my hair was long— both because hair takes time to grow, and I knew I needed time, and because I knew the next record would require the longest and wildest hair yet. In many cultures and religions throughout history, long hair has been viewed as a source of power and a link to the spiritual world, and I can certainly say that I have never felt more spiritually rich, and in touch with the voices that guide. (Yes I’m a fucking herb. Sue me!!!) I hope you and your friends and family are staying safe. It’s a wild time. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in the past two months. New Zealand is creeping back to normal. Shops and restaurants are open again. I’ve seen some friends. I feel so grateful for such calm, sensible leadership by our government, now more than ever. I know you may not be afforded that where you live, and I hope you’re taking it one day at a time and trying not to feel too destroyed by the news. I’m thinking of you all the time. It’s that time of year in New Zealand where it’s cold and clear. The light is bright and stark, with lots of contrasting shadows. The sky is the dark bright blue which signals approaching winter. The cars are back on the roads, which is a bit of a weird thing. The quiet streets had given me a glimpse at a different city, one where I could hear the sparrows in the huge London plane trees at rush hour. Maybe one day we’ll be back there again. I don’t know. The first three months of this year started as a blur, and began to sharpen. It was summer, a time of year which is usually so clarifying and special to me, but I was grieving hard for Pearl, carrying it everywhere with me. I found a note in my phone from November which said: I eat a grief sandwich I wear a grief coat I see a grief film. If you know how it feels to lose someone close, I’m sure that makes sense to you. Everything about you becomes a grief thing! The dreamy warm time of year I normally love so much — the beaches and the green fields — it all felt hollow without my boy beside me. I started going back to the studio again in December, just for something to do, and to my surprise, good things came out. Happy, playful things. I felt my melodic muscles flexing and strengthening. Jack came over to work in the studio in Auckland, and I went to LA. It flowed. A thing started to take shape. And then, of course, the world shut down. We’re still working away — Jack and I FaceTimed for over an hour this morning going over everything. But it’ll take a while longer. I’ve been looking at some of your notes online, and I can feel the (extremely sweet, EXTREMELY flattering) desperation creeping back into your voices. You need it! The thing can’t come soon enough! I understand— I want nothing more than to feed you treats, pop perfect morsels straight into your little mouths. But as I get older I realise there’s something to be said for the pleasant feeling of waiting for something of quality to become available to you. You could have something of lesser quality much faster, but as the high quality thing comes into fruition, a warm feeling grows inside you. Do you know what I mean? I get this feeling when I make bread, or put my seedlings in after the last frost, or even when I wait for a particular package to arrive. Waiting, the thing that felt so pointless and annoying when I was young, is now this kind of delicious activity. In my opinion, the greatest treat I can give you is work that will last ten, twenty, thirty years. And that kind of work takes time. So if you can, I’d like for you to try tuning in to the time spent waiting for something of the highest quality to arrive. Enjoy the sensation as it builds. When the moment comes, our wave will crest super fucking high. I can tell you, this new thing, it’s got its own colours now. If you know anything about my work, you’ll know what that means. I knew I needed a break from touring at the end of the last cycle. I was finding the combination of brutal stage fright and having no fixed home and no connection with what I ate or where I lived extremely grim. I needed to make some food, grow some stuff, go to the beach a bunch, finally acknowledge (and kick) my social media addiction. I wasn’t sure if I’d tour again for a long time. And I still don’t know what touring is gonna look like for me, sensitive sweet pea plant that I am. But I know now how excited I am to get back out there. I want to be playing festivals again — hearing my intro music, watching the band walk onstage. I want to devastate. I want to see a huge line of you outside my hotel. I want to hug you all, and hold your hands. I want to do interviews, talk about the record over and over until I know it inside out. I want to do photoshoots, make videos. I want to eat summer foods in beautiful countries — ice cream and tomatoes and anchovies. I want to use my gift, and watch it grow. Who knows when it’ll be safe to do those things, but I’m craving them, and I wanted you to know. One of my favourite things about when we meet is the hug we almost always share. You say, “Can I hug you?” in a wavering voice, and I reach out my arms and hold you close for 10 or 15 seconds. Our hands rest on each others’ backs. In those few seconds I can feel all the love and care you have for my work, all the time you’ve spent listening and watching and decoding. And you can feel how deeply I care about you, how hard I try to make everything perfect so that I meet your hopes where they are. When it’s safe, I can’t wait to hug you again. The work is so fucking good, my friend. I am truly jazzed for you to hear it. Okay, that’s all for now. It’s mid afternoon, and really warm. I’m going to put on my new shirt and walk down to the water. Fish and fennel salad for dinner. I hope this finds you well. L xxxxxx

[aavalanche]

tw: rape & suicide mention

I started 2020 freshly traumatized due to my second r*pe, out of the job I loved, just quit another cause shitty, broke and about to lose my place at my then residence, the love of my life had just broken up with me- dealing w the pain of hurting someone due to my own. I was returning (after 2 yrs) to a school that I had experienced terrible spiritual trauma+worst psychosis at. I was on the brink of leaving my family & financial support, just out of the church & then leaving my faith, and after the break up distant from the spiritual community had through my ex’s introduction. 

Come march, I had nothing left in me (again). My mental illness, shameless, plus amongst all the external happenings, i felt driven to my absolute end. I couldn't keep up with school, much less myself. A couple weeks in, I was in a mental hospital- my housemate entering my room as I was about to swallow my bottle of meds. 

It was when I was leaving the hospital that I found out how bad Covid was getting. I was not well, and ended up returning home, and in lockdown. I couldn’t imagine my world crumbling more, and then George Floyd was murdered. And here I am a black women, facing fear and anger and frustration to a degree I never had before. I watched in despair as our country showed its corrupt teeth once more, but in ways unprecedented in my lifetime...My thoughts and feelings on that alone, enough to fill a page, so stopping there.

Needless to say, I flunked school again. (And lost my therapist since they were provided through the school).

And now here I am, on the most beautiful and wonderful healing journeys. 

LOLLLLLLLLLL. This is terrible writing. I really just wanna record some of the events because this shit is insane. I literally do not know how I made it through this year, other than the fact that I am so resilient. And rn I’m so fucking proud of myself. Ive battled with my mental illnesses since middle school. and for the first time in my life, I genuinely feel capable of handling it, and genuinely healthily healing.

I feel like a completely new person. I am in love with life. I have healthy and wonderful relationships/friendships, a remote job, taking online classes. I am in tune with my divinity and goodness and wholeness. I am aware & connected to self and All. I am realizing that I am and have everything I have ever wanted. Goodness is mine and in me and in us all. Beauty is mine and in me and in us all. Hope is in me and available to us all. 

Anyway. Im just so fucking amazed. I’m not cured, but I’m healing. I able to look forward to more healing, and growing, and learning and exploring. I have so much love & compassion in me, so much I want to offer. I do not know what will come and that is ok. This moment is all that I have (all that any of us have) and right now I am safe and I am everything.

[lordebowie]

hello you

Lorde’s email to fans, 20.05.20

Well hello there. I realised the other day it had been a minute since we chatted, and I was missing you. Do you wear your hair long or short now? Did you take your piercings out? You’ll probably be pleased to know my hair is big and long again. I think after Melodrama came out I said I wouldn’t put out another record until my hair was long— both because hair takes time to grow, and I knew I needed time, and because I knew the next record would require the longest and wildest hair yet. In many cultures and religions throughout history, long hair has been viewed as a source of power and a link to the spiritual world, and I can certainly say that I have never felt more spiritually rich, and in touch with the voices that guide. (Yes I’m a fucking herb. Sue me!!!) I hope you and your friends and family are staying safe. It’s a wild time. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in the past two months. New Zealand is creeping back to normal. Shops and restaurants are open again. I’ve seen some friends. I feel so grateful for such calm, sensible leadership by our government, now more than ever. I know you may not be afforded that where you live, and I hope you’re taking it one day at a time and trying not to feel too destroyed by the news. I’m thinking of you all the time. It’s that time of year in New Zealand where it’s cold and clear. The light is bright and stark, with lots of contrasting shadows. The sky is the dark bright blue which signals approaching winter. The cars are back on the roads, which is a bit of a weird thing. The quiet streets had given me a glimpse at a different city, one where I could hear the sparrows in the huge London plane trees at rush hour. Maybe one day we’ll be back there again. I don’t know. The first three months of this year started as a blur, and began to sharpen. It was summer, a time of year which is usually so clarifying and special to me, but I was grieving hard for Pearl, carrying it everywhere with me. I found a note in my phone from November which said: I eat a grief sandwich I wear a grief coat I see a grief film. If you know how it feels to lose someone close, I’m sure that makes sense to you. Everything about you becomes a grief thing! The dreamy warm time of year I normally love so much — the beaches and the green fields — it all felt hollow without my boy beside me. I started going back to the studio again in December, just for something to do, and to my surprise, good things came out. Happy, playful things. I felt my melodic muscles flexing and strengthening. Jack came over to work in the studio in Auckland, and I went to LA. It flowed. A thing started to take shape. And then, of course, the world shut down. We’re still working away — Jack and I FaceTimed for over an hour this morning going over everything. But it’ll take a while longer.

I’ve been looking at some of your notes online, and I can feel the (extremely sweet, EXTREMELY flattering) desperation creeping back into your voices. You need it! The thing can’t come soon enough! I understand— I want nothing more than to feed you treats, pop perfect morsels straight into your little mouths. But as I get older I realise there’s something to be said for the pleasant feeling of waiting for something of quality to become available to you. You could have something of lesser quality much faster, but as the high quality thing comes into fruition, a warm feeling grows inside you. Do you know what I mean? I get this feeling when I make bread, or put my seedlings in after the last frost, or even when I wait for a particular package to arrive. Waiting, the thing that felt so pointless and annoying when I was young, is now this kind of delicious activity. In my opinion, the greatest treat I can give you is work that will last ten, twenty, thirty years. And that kind of work takes time. So if you can, I’d like for you to try tuning in to the time spent waiting for something of the highest quality to arrive. Enjoy the sensation as it builds. When the moment comes, our wave will crest super fucking high. I can tell you, this new thing, it’s got its own colours now. If you know anything about my work, you’ll know what that means. I knew I needed a break from touring at the end of the last cycle. I was finding the combination of brutal stage fright and having no fixed home and no connection with what I ate or where I lived extremely grim. I needed to make some food, grow some stuff, go to the beach a bunch, finally acknowledge (and kick) my social media addiction. I wasn’t sure if I’d tour again for a long time. And I still don’t know what touring is gonna look like for me, sensitive sweet pea plant that I am. But I know now how excited I am to get back out there. I want to be playing festivals again — hearing my intro music, watching the band walk onstage. I want to devastate. I want to see a huge line of you outside my hotel. I want to hug you all, and hold your hands. I want to do interviews, talk about the record over and over until I know it inside out. I want to do photoshoots, make videos. I want to eat summer foods in beautiful countries — ice cream and tomatoes and anchovies. I want to use my gift, and watch it grow. Who knows when it’ll be safe to do those things, but I’m craving them, and I wanted you to know. One of my favourite things about when we meet is the hug we almost always share. You say, “Can I hug you?” in a wavering voice, and I reach out my arms and hold you close for 10 or 15 seconds. Our hands rest on each others’ backs. In those few seconds I can feel all the love and care you have for my work, all the time you’ve spent listening and watching and decoding. And you can feel how deeply I care about you, how hard I try to make everything perfect so that I meet your hopes where they are. When it’s safe, I can’t wait to hug you again. The work is so fucking good, my friend. I am truly jazzed for you to hear it. Okay, that’s all for now. It’s mid afternoon, and really warm. I’m going to put on my new shirt and walk down to the water. Fish and fennel salad for dinner. I hope this finds you well. L xxxxxx

[nonagesiiiimus]

lorde sent an email!!!

“Well hello there. I realised the other day it had been a minute since we chatted, and I was missing you. Do you wear your hair long or short now? Did you take your piercings out? You’ll probably be pleased to know my hair is big and long again. I think after Melodrama came out I said I wouldn’t put out another record until my hair was long— both because hair takes time to grow, and I knew I needed time, and because I knew the next record would require the longest and wildest hair yet. In many cultures and religions throughout history, long hair has been viewed as a source of power and a link to the spiritual world, and I can certainly say that I have never felt more spiritually rich, and in touch with the voices that guide. (Yes I’m a fucking herb. Sue me!!!) I hope you and your friends and family are staying safe. It’s a wild time. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in the past two months. New Zealand is creeping back to normal. Shops and restaurants are open again. I’ve seen some friends. I feel so grateful for such calm, sensible leadership by our government, now more than ever. I know you may not be afforded that where you live, and I hope you’re taking it one day at a time and trying not to feel too destroyed by the news. I’m thinking of you all the time. It’s that time of year in New Zealand where it’s cold and clear. The light is bright and stark, with lots of contrasting shadows. The sky is the dark bright blue which signals approaching winter. The cars are back on the roads, which is a bit of a weird thing. The quiet streets had given me a glimpse at a different city, one where I could hear the sparrows in the huge London plane trees at rush hour. Maybe one day we’ll be back there again. I don’t know. The first three months of this year started as a blur, and began to sharpen. It was summer, a time of year which is usually so clarifying and special to me, but I was grieving hard for Pearl, carrying it everywhere with me. I found a note in my phone from November which said: I eat a grief sandwich I wear a grief coat I see a grief film. If you know how it feels to lose someone close, I’m sure that makes sense to you. Everything about you becomes a grief thing! The dreamy warm time of year I normally love so much — the beaches and the green fields — it all felt hollow without my boy beside me. I started going back to the studio again in December, just for something to do, and to my surprise, good things came out. Happy, playful things. I felt my melodic muscles flexing and strengthening. Jack came over to work in the studio in Auckland, and I went to LA. It flowed. A thing started to take shape. And then, of course, the world shut down. We’re still working away — Jack and I FaceTimed for over an hour this morning going over everything. But it’ll take a while longer.

I’ve been looking at some of your notes online, and I can feel the (extremely sweet, EXTREMELY flattering) desperation creeping back into your voices. You need it! The thing can’t come soon enough! I understand— I want nothing more than to feed you treats, pop perfect morsels straight into your little mouths. But as I get older I realise there’s something to be said for the pleasant feeling of waiting for something of quality to become available to you. You could have something of lesser quality much faster, but as the high quality thing comes into fruition, a warm feeling grows inside you. Do you know what I mean? I get this feeling when I make bread, or put my seedlings in after the last frost, or even when I wait for a particular package to arrive. Waiting, the thing that felt so pointless and annoying when I was young, is now this kind of delicious activity. In my opinion, the greatest treat I can give you is work that will last ten, twenty, thirty years. And that kind of work takes time. So if you can, I’d like for you to try tuning in to the time spent waiting for something of the highest quality to arrive. Enjoy the sensation as it builds. When the moment comes, our wave will crest super fucking high. I can tell you, this new thing, it’s got its own colours now. If you know anything about my work, you’ll know what that means. I knew I needed a break from touring at the end of the last cycle. I was finding the combination of brutal stage fright and having no fixed home and no connection with what I ate or where I lived extremely grim. I needed to make some food, grow some stuff, go to the beach a bunch, finally acknowledge (and kick) my social media addiction. I wasn’t sure if I’d tour again for a long time. And I still don’t know what touring is gonna look like for me, sensitive sweet pea plant that I am. But I know now how excited I am to get back out there. I want to be playing festivals again — hearing my intro music, watching the band walk onstage. I want to devastate. I want to see a huge line of you outside my hotel. I want to hug you all, and hold your hands. I want to do interviews, talk about the record over and over until I know it inside out. I want to do photoshoots, make videos. I want to eat summer foods in beautiful countries — ice cream and tomatoes and anchovies. I want to use my gift, and watch it grow. Who knows when it’ll be safe to do those things, but I’m craving them, and I wanted you to know. One of my favourite things about when we meet is the hug we almost always share. You say, “Can I hug you?” in a wavering voice, and I reach out my arms and hold you close for 10 or 15 seconds. Our hands rest on each others’ backs. In those few seconds I can feel all the love and care you have for my work, all the time you’ve spent listening and watching and decoding. And you can feel how deeply I care about you, how hard I try to make everything perfect so that I meet your hopes where they are. When it’s safe, I can’t wait to hug you again. The work is so fucking good, my friend. I am truly jazzed for you to hear it. Okay, that’s all for now. It’s mid afternoon, and really warm. I’m going to put on my new shirt and walk down to the water. Fish and fennel salad for dinner. I hope this finds you well.” L xxxxxx

5/19/2020

[mentalitchblog-blog]

Researching Your Family History on the Mississippi Gulf Coast and Beyond

The holidays mean many things to different people, but regardless of what traditions you follow, the holidays have a universal aspect among everyone regardless of religion and that is family. Whether you split the holidays driving between parents and in-laws, spend five hours on a plane trying to get to your parents' house, or spend a quite holiday season with just your spouse and children, family is an important part of the holidays.

It was during the holidays four years ago when "family" took on a new meaning for me. I was pregnant with my first son and suddenly "family" wasn't just my parents and grandparents. It was all the people who came before them that made up my family, and I needed to know more about them. I wanted to find my roots so my son could know his.

Genealogy has exploded in the 21st century with online databases making it possible to research your roots from anywhere in the world. In the United States much of this is thanks to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, more commonly known as the Mormons. The Mormons have been relentlessly collecting family histories and archiving historical documents for years. They have made this information available to anyone who wants it through local Mormon Churches, which will allow you to view their collection in their genealogist  rooms. They also have a wonderful online resource, FamilySearch.org, which points you in the direction of where to find historical documents, such as census records.

Another great online resource is Ancestry.com. You've probably seen the commercials about clicking on a leaf and finding out about your ancestors. Well, it's one cool feature amongst many. Just type in your family member's information, like name and date of birth, and you'll be amazed at what pops up. If your family roots lie in other countries, these databases are invaluable. In the years since they were first developed, international records have been continuously added to them making it possible to find your family in many parts of the world. In my case, as a first generation American on my mother's side, it made it possible for to track down my ancestors in England and Wales from the comforts of my living room.

Additional resources are local churches and other religious and social organizations. Many have begun scanning and uploading their records, making them available for everyone to see. In my case, I was able to search the parish records for the town in England my mother is from and was able to find baptismal and marriage records for many of my ancestors. Doing a simple internet search for the parishes in the area you're researching should help you find any available databases.

Online databases are a wonderful way to get started in researching your family. Not only can they point you in the right direction and provide you with archived materials, some provide the ability to create a family tree and document your sources. But what do you do when you've exhausted the online resources and have hit brick wall after brick wall? A trip to your local library's history and genealogy department is well worth it. For Harrison County, Mississippi, that department can be found in the newly built Biloxi Library on Howard Avenue. The library has numerous resources available for those who have deep roots on the Coast, as well as those who don't. It has microfilm of the Sun Herald, the Daily Herald and many other area newspapers, yearbooks from Biloxi and some from Gulfport, and numerous books and vertical files documenting the Coast's rich history. There are also resources to help people who aren't from the Coast research their family's history. In addition, the library has subscriptions to Ancestry.com and GenealogyBank.com, a national newspaper archival site. And of course the librarians at any of the libraries you go to can offer expert advice on where to turn when you're not sure what steps to take next.

For me, discovering my family history has been enlightening. I've managed to trace my family back to the 18th century, connect with cousins my family had lost touch with 30 years ago, and even found out my roots lie in completely different parts of England than what I had thought. Finding my ancestors has helped me find out who I am, something I'm able to pass onto my children and hopefully will be passed on for generations to come.

[kekekentyuh]

The Quirks and Qualms of Online Class

The global pandemic terrorizing us as of the moment has taken so much of our lives when limited social contact was introduced. Preventing the virus from spreading further has reduced our lives to crumbs, robbing a lot of us of the chance to create a better life for ourselves in the outside world, forcing us to powerlessly retreat within the walls of our homes. And sadly, to say the very least, even the education system wasn’t safe from the Corona effect.

Remote learning seems to be the next logical step that most academic institutions can come up with because of the whole social distancing thing. For a while, it was a step so many dreaded to take because of how evident it was that it was just a disaster begging to take place — the countless government officials continuously campaigning to push through with the academic year weren’t of good help either — although it eventually arrived to a point where it was the only thing they could think of. Some have already opted to use this means of providing as early as April to finish off the previous school year, or summer semesters in some university constituents, all in little steps, but in general, we all know how it is: this type of learning is new to most of us, especially for those of us who are used to face to face learning, and we’re all learning to adjust to it while we’re still contained indoors.

The university I attend already had us undergo the whole process of online learning during our Midyear semester last June, where we took a couple of subjects that we were supposed to enroll in for the summer had the world not gone batshit crazy, opting only to open the possibility of attending that midyear semester for those who are required to do so in their respective course program curricula. We held synchronous online sessions via Zoom, where meetings were recorded for everyone's access, making for more accessible resources for note-taking, and used the online learning platform Canvas as pilot testers (both accounts provided by the university itself along with our emails) that we utilized for transfer of information, like learning materials and paperless, digital submissions, generally, and it all seemed to work, for a term that lasted a month maximum. But even before it began, I had a lot of qualms and reservations, particularly on how it’s all going to play out, and how it’s going to affect my performance and my academic standing, because up to that point, I’ve never taken any class or required academic sessions within virtual online learning platforms (not that I was happy while I was taking it, anyway; it’s a hellhole waiting to burst like a pimple). And that was just for a Midyear semester, which was four weeks at most; given how they’re planning to have this coming regularly-paced semester (shortened for the purpose of everyone’s convenience, although I’m pretty sure that’s going to do more harm than benefit, especially for students) purely on remote learning accords, we have no idea how we’re all going to take it on, not with major subjects and a lot of skill-based outputs being asked of us, which are probably much, much heavier than the countless submissions we had to do previously. 

But you know what the boomers think: it’s all better than letting the school year just fly away, they didn’t have access to privileges like this so we’d better put up with it. Go now, plan later; and to that, I say one thing — you can’t stop a runaway train.

Even though one month of putting up with this mess is probably just a rough estimate of just how grueling an entire semester online is going to be, I would like to share a few of the things that I’ve noticed about remote learning that are not so great, and, to be completely unbiased, fine by my own judgment. I’m going to use the experiences me and my fellow Biology majors had whilst taking them to truly evaluate how effective it is for university students here in the Philippines, all with the company of you, my dear readers. This is, however, limited to the things we’ve experienced, and may vary for different situations, like from the point of view of a faculty member or a student of a different school, so please, take all of this with a grain of salt. We have no idea if things are going to play out exactly like they did previously, but it’s good to know a few things to prepare ourselves, right? Consider this as sort of a primer — from one lousy college student to another. If we’re going to deal with this bullshit, we’re going to look at it together. 

For starters, remote learning is kind of energy efficient — and when I say that, I don’t mean chill. God, no; it’s anything but. The main thing I really like about learning from home is that it saves us a lot more time and physical energy than how much we usually need to attend face to face classes. It’s a very striking point, and I’m sure some may see it beneficial, especially those who still need to put up with the commute to go on campus. We don’t have to worry more about budgeting our time between classes and activities outside, like what time we’d have to wake up so we can have more time to get ready for our day ahead, or where to eat and what to wear to go out. We can wear home clothes while attending classes (not like your clothes even matter, anyway; at least not in UP) and don’t have to deal with the headaches and heartburns you get when you try commuting in the Metro, since we’re all just indoors. And let’s not forget, for someone who attends a university situated in the middle of a bustling city with people of all shapes and sizes that you can never trust, being confined to our homes means we are in a much safer environment, where we wouldn’t have to worry about being robbed every fifteen seconds or won’t have to look twice so every passing vehicle gets a lesser chance of ejecting us off the street. We’re all sitting within the walls of our homes, so we have lesser things to worry about logistically, so to speak. Besides, stepping outside is even more of a risk now than ever, and making available materials to access at home may reduce the probability of that risk getting the best of us, so at least that’s out of the way, like it’s supposed to be.

One thing that also struck me about remote learning is how it’s heavily dependent on how you pace your studies and work. Since your learning environment consists mostly of you and the digital materials, apart from the synchronous classes some professors require, a lot of the time, the way you’re going to deal with this is mainly on how you decide to work on it and how your pace with regards to taking everything on would be, and since there are scheduled deadlines and exams, and you can’t afford to lose any of your precious time monkeying around, albeit the hard way, you’ll definitely learn to manage your time on your own. It’s not completely individual, as there were still group tasks and outputs to be submitted as a unit, but since you’re all alone in your workspace, it’ll all depend on how well you manage to properly do these requirements. Time management is a key factor in college, or in any school level setting really, a skill better than any studying technique you will ever come across, since it helps a student tackle the countless loads of work being tossed their way without it stacking up to immediate doom, and remote learning prompts one to find the method that allows one to work with the flow the easiest — kind of like the perfect key to crank up an engine.

But the thing about remote learning is, for a whole student system not entirely prepared and properly equipped for it, the cons outweigh the pros — by about a mile.

To put it simply, limited contact is much more stressful in the parts of those who are actually involved in the setup, which are, primarily, the student and the teacher. Home environments, right up the first bullet, are not all conducive learning environments. This is entirely dependent on various factors, which may range from more personal ones, like unfavorable familial setups or various distractions at home, or more logistical ones, like the location of the home itself, all contributing to numbers and numbers of disruptive tendencies, none of which are under the child’s control, which may result to their lack of focus or increased anxiety. Home environments are not made for learning, unlike schools and universities where students are free to study without any distractions, and this may hold back the smooth process of their learning if continuous and entirely destructive — and there’s nothing the students nor the instructors can do about it but stress out. The number one most notorious culprit of them all, undeniably, would be the alarmingly appalling mediocrity of the Internet connection the majority has access to, which, on particularly bad days, may result to unfavorable situations almost unexpectedly, like constantly being cut off from the session and unclear instructions from professors, mostly, who have unfavorable access to the Internet themselves. The constant unannounced power cutoffs in some parts of the country (which is, personally, my biggest qualm and pet peeve that I have developed during quarantine) would come in at a close second, especially since a lot of these blackouts have no given range, much to the dismay of the consumers. On top of these are some unexpected inconveniences, like glitchy learning environments and faulty instructor-to-student communication, brought by lack of time synchronization, mostly, that may not seem like much, but can make this whole experience a whole lot shittier than it actually is. 

And what’s even more stressful is the few solutions to these problems can all but do so much; mobile data as a substitute for WiFi connections can only give us so much with promos and the money it costs, but in the end, it’s still no match for the data requirements synchronous meeting platforms like Zoom or Google Meet require, so it’s best to just skip the class than waste your time and data trying to reconnect. Instructor-prepared course packs, which contain all materials needed for the subject, definitely designed to cater to students who lack the resources to make it to online classes, may work, but there’s still a lot of considerations that need to be made for their evaluations, which, preferably, need to match with the rest of the class they’re in. I know — no one wins here, except probably only the officials of our crappy Internet providers, happy that they still have a lot of people to leech out of.

The curriculum of the various degree programs students are enrolled in are at stake, because so much adjustments need to be done in order for them to be suitable for the online setting that they all, well, don’t feel like genuine learning methods anymore. Skill-based programs, like mine in Biology, for example, are particularly affected by these changes, since the materials and the opportunities for us to learn the skills we need for our degree are out there: at the labs, at the campus, out at the world. The pertinence of the development of methods to teach these practical courses with limited contact cannot be denied, but actually fulfilling those requirements physically and learning them with your own experience is something with much more impact, and that can’t be denied, too. The limits imposed on learning these necessarily skills will also limit the students to what they’re being given; if they’re given half the materials to make a bun of bread, they’ll only come up with half of that bun, because they’re given so limited resources. We don’t even know how lab classes will take place — how are we supposed to be sure we’re going to learn from them? Not only that, but the curriculum coming to play is at stake, too; take synchronous evaluation procedures, for instance. Does anyone want to take a quiz or an exam with relentlessly flopping Internet, with electrical power that plays Russian Roulette every single day of the year? Of course not, because you want to do as well as you possibly can in this exam. Do you want to wake up to a blaring, incomplete grade because the assignment file you’ve busted your ass for just didn’t make it through the portal, although you swore to your underwear drawer that you did? Of course not, and that’s why checking the submission box three times is almost nothing. So much of the learning process is being compromised and limited by a lot of factors outside of our control, it’s almost impossible to bounce back into the much-favored learning headspace we all desire to be in. We’re spending so much time worrying about not being able to learn because of so many things around us glitching that we lose, albeit gradually, our focus on actually learning.

These factors all narrow down to one big boulder about to trample one smacking detail within us: our mental health. It’s already bad enough that we’re dealing with the health crisis erupting everywhere around us, a health crisis that doesn’t seem to want to tone down anytime soon, and hearing and seeing so much of the tragedy it’s bringing to our country continuously, but we have to also constantly worry about whether or not we’re learning the right things or submitting the right things on time and still making sure we’re doing our best despite all of it. Imagine the constant anxiety and the rigid schedule of a regular semester multiplied thrice, all dumped online — with a few adjustments here and a few tweaks there, but almost inaccessible to some, and too much for many. You're not even sure, at any given point within the months-long span of supposed learning, if you're doing it to actually absorb the knowledge, or just fulfilling it because it's a requirement, and just hurriedly making sure everything is taken care of because you don't have any more energy to drag it on longer. That’s how mentally draining it is. And I get that I might be exaggerating (I have an underlying tendency to do so; forgive me, my bad) but who’s to say that it may not ring true for some? If you’re anything like me, who finds comfort in the company of peers, in the little things like building a routine and sticking to it, distracting yourself with new, uncharted things every day, and managing your stress outside the confinements of a house, then it’s probably taking a huge toll on you, too. 

But all that’s nothing compared to those directly affected by the pandemic, like the family members of healthcare workers, those whose main modes of making a living were laid off due to contact protocols, and, most importantly, those who lost so many people dear to them because of a virus no one can contain. I can’t explain how much my heart cracks in my chest when I see a student looking to social media to ask for a means to fund his schooling, or when a person I rarely know is knocking to ask for a few pesos to get their ailing family members through. Remote learning, online classes, really, would work just fine — if you belong above that margin. If you have access to resources without going scathed, have nothing else to do but focus on what’s important for you, and leave the rest of the world outside your door. The exclusivity of remote learning is striking, and it’s extremely absurd how much people want to push through with it despite so many consequences for so many unwilling benefactors  — six million children, to be exact — left behind. Children should never have to beg, lose themselves, or destroy themselves to be able to learn, because it’s their right to be given a chance to be the best they can by pursuing this education to the fullest extent. Apparently many people disagree.

Let me call remote learning for what it really is — a temporary aid, unsustainable way of dragging the students to uncharted waters. It’s a band-aid solution, meant to temporarily do what needs to be done while the future is still unknown. So many calls to stop the year from coming up have been put out there, as well as so much postponing and halting of the flow of inconcrete plans, promising to improve, but time and time again, to nothing; and amid so many calls for help, just within the education sector, there has been no reliable answer. Academic Freeze, which aims to halt the school year altogether, is not a plausible way of resolving this, as it is only student centered; although it may be beneficial for us, a lot of employees in the education system may lose their modes of income as well, which may lead to a shortcoming in their part. But given that, we also cannot turn our backs from the fact that so much of the student population, almost six million, will not be able to enroll, because education is a right that every child must be given, and if one child deserves to go on studying, they all deserve to. And postponing the opening of the academic year and delaying what is to come can only do so much.

Contain the pandemic — that’s the answer. If this administration, particularly the department concerned with this issue, truly cares about the rights of every Filipino to quality, equitable, culture-based and complete basic education, then they’ll take the necessary steps to put an end to this and protect not only those rights, but, to the administration itself, the welfare of their people.

Delaying the problem isn’t putting an end to it, because what’s only slowing down is going to gain momentum later on.

So many thoughts and so many words! What did you think about these experiences? And if your’re from the Philippines, what do you think about the Department of Education’s response to this rising concern? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Let me know by reaching me through the Inquiries page, or through my social media here I'd love to hear from anybody!

Like always, I wish everyone is doing well, being safe and secure, and in good health! I hope everyone is taking care of themselves by sanitizing and garnering a healthy lifestyle! It means a lot to me that you're here reading. Thanks for staying, and I’ll see you on the next one!

[melaniegutierrezjournalist-blog]

Remote Guest Speakers Enrich CSUN’s Virtual Classes

From the comfort of her living room, Mayra Lopez, a third-year journalism major, got to hear from professional role models — journalists from ABC and NBC.

The journalists spoke to a class of students who produce the Valley View News broadcast program. All journalism students and faculty were invited to join through Zoom.

Since the switch to virtual classes, there have been many changes to the way students are used to learning, but there are some rewards in the new ways that some departments are dealing with this transition. CSUN’s Department of Journalism has taken advantage of this situation by bringing in guest speakers over Zoom to speak to their students about various topics, including tales from the front lines of the day’s most pressing topics.

“I really like talking to working journalists,” Lopez said. “Now that I have so much free time I’ve been going to a lot more [guest speaker events].”

Lessons from national experts

The journalism department isn’t the only department on campus enhancing its classes with experts from far away. Nearly every college has in some form included guest speakers in their rosters. Some of these guest speakers were already scheduled, either in person or virtually, and others were invited after most of campus closed, adding to the virtual learning experience.

The guest speakers come from all over the country, in a wide range of professional fields, including biology and finance, and marriage and family therapy. Some have spoken to a single class, while others were available to students throughout a department.

The speakers have helped prove that although the move to virtual learning was unplanned, the lessons can still be meaningful.

Before the switch to virtual learning, Ray Hong, professor and associate chair of the Department of Biology, had invited speakers from schools including Stanford, Washington State and the University of Mississippi to speak on campus for weekly BIOL 490, Tutorial Studies and BIOL 692, Biology Colloquium seminars. With travel to campus now impossible, Hong worked to move the seminars to the virtual space, where they were still available to all biology students.

“In a way, more students can now be in the front row seats in a virtual environment,” Hong said.

Deaf Studies professor Lissa Stapleton offered a combination of pre-recorded and live guest speakers to her DEAF 360, Deaf Culture, and DEAF 496B, Black Deaf Communities, classes, some of which were pre-planned to be virtual and some of which were originally intended to be live. The speakers for the Black Deaf Communities class were national and international experts, all of which were always scheduled to participate via Zoom. For her DEAF 415, Deaf Community Service class, a live panel was turned into a series of interviews of grad students and faculty members from across the country to expose her students to programs outside of California.

Engaging online

At least one virtual guest lecturer came from not far away — Wendy Murawski, executive director and endowed chair for the Michael D. Eisner Center for Teaching and Learning at CSUN, joined professor Marty Eisen’s special education class to model co-teaching. This was supposed to be a face-to-face endeavor, but the educators adapted.

“We wanted them to learn they don’t need to give up student engagement or differentiation just because they are in an online format,” Murawski said.

In professor Mu-Sheng “Shane” Chang’s FIN 434 Life and Health Insurance class, students were also offered the opportunity to speak with professionals, including Cristian Iglesias of The Cheesecake Factory Inc., Steve Eilers of General Reinsurance – a subsidiary of the Berkshire Hathaway Inc., and Leslie McKee of Aon, who provided a worldly view on risk management, reinsurance, and healthcare.

“The students learned about relevant subject matter from these practitioners,” Chang said. “I firmly believe their presentations were very rewarding and successful to help students better understand how risk management concepts lectured in this class are applied outside of the classroom.

The Department of Urban Studies and Planning even held mock interviews for graduating internship students with department alumni. The alumni who participate usually live within driving distance, but department chair Rob Kent said the virtual format allowed for participation of alumni from the San Francisco Bay Area, Oregon and Washington.

“It is a great event for students and for alumni alike,” Kent said. “Students get to meet alumni who were in their shoes here at CSUN before and to learn first-hand about the profession and the job market.”

Connecting with students

Adolfo Flores, a journalist at BuzzFeed News based in Texas who graduated from CSUN in 2010, has visited campus several times before. Recently, he joined professor Jose Luis Benavides’s Spanish language journalism class via Zoom to talk about his experiences reporting at the border.

“I’m able to give students advice I wish someone had given to me,” said Flores about chatting with students at his alma mater. “I also see it as a way of giving back the time my professors put into me when I was in college.”

While having guest speakers in their classrooms is nothing new to the journalism students, the new virtual format has allowed students an easier access to these events. Before, a challenge for many students was getting to campus on days they wouldn’t normally have classes.

“It may be easier in this format, because one of the challenges of getting guest speakers anywhere on the CSUN campus is that people always complain about the drive,” said Department of Journalism Chair Linda Bowen. “Now, they don’t have to leave their houses.”

CSUN Today editor Jacob Bennett contributed to this story.

This story was originally published on CSUN Today.

[purplesurveys]

858

Who named you? Both of my parents did. My dad came up with my first name, my mom with the second. On edge about anything at the moment? On edge is irritable right? I hate how hot it is rn, and it’s literally almost 11 PM. Pretty sure I’ll be giving myself a second shower for today, ugh. The thing that last shocked you? My mom unknowingly watched a jumpscare video earlier and since she likes keeping her phone’s volume at a high level, I got to hear the demonic scream that came with the jumpscare -______- My entire family jumped but I was the only one who started to tear up hahahaha Ever have dreams that come true later on? Like, sleeping dreams? I guess, but they’ve all been deja vu stuff. Like a random thing will take place in the present and I’ll just suddenly remember that I saw it happening in a dream before, if that counts. Is it sometimes hard for you to accept what people are saying as the truth? I guess, especially when I’ve become used to a different side for much longer. For instance I really loved my grandpa and always saw him as this gentle giant who liked telling me trivia, so it took me a while to accept that he had his issues with alcohol and that he’d turn into a different person whenever he consumed it.

Who is worse: The liar or the hypocrite? Hypocrites are annoying but when it comes down to it we all have our hypocritical tendencies, honestly. I’ll go with liars. Is your mom your number one fan? No, she’s very passive about my successes and will always make it a point to look like she’s not interested enough about what I dabble in. The one time she looked genuinely supportive and excited for me was when I passed UP, and that was because that was her dream for me. Do you sing in front of people? Neverrrrrr. I only do that when I’m drunk enough at a club and my voice is guaranteed to be drowned out.

Is there a scent that makes you feel nostalgic? Sure, there’s the smell of nature in my old school, my grandparents’ cabinet which has given off this musty smell for as long as I can remember, and the scent of my dad’s luggage whenever he arrives back to the country. Last time someone had a bad opinion of you? The last time I was around to hear it was last week when my mom hurled insults at me and my siblings, but I’m sure others have spoken badly about me behind my back. Was it for the wrong reason? Yes. Would you rather ask or be asked? Ask/be asked what? Who are you the most uncomfortable around? My mooooom. I get very wince-y when I’m alone with her...I feel like a barrage of insults or criticisms is gonna be thrown at me any second.  Are your parents overprotective? They were I was never allowed to join in the Friendster craze because my parents took the 16-year-old requirement seriously, I didn’t have my first sleepover until I was 16, I wasn’t allowed to go to anyone’s house but Katreen as a kid, among other limitations I had to live with. But idk, for some reason something must have flipped in their heads and I was suddenly allowed to do a bunch of stuff when I turned 16. Is there a part of you that you've tried to bury? Yuh, my entire childhood. A recent creation that you're proud of? Hdjshjsjdh I made onion rings a couple of weeks ago and they turned out yummy and I was really proud of it. It was also the first time I made any kind of food from scratch so I was ecstatic when I took my first bite and discovered that it wasn’t bad at all. Who's your favorite comedian? Not really into comedians...I’ll go with Grace Helbig, even though I primarily know her for her YouTube stuff. What makes you squeamish? Injections. What do you like in your omlettes? Everything that’s available. When I’m having a breakfast buffet at hotels I just tell the chef to just put in every ingredient they have at the omelette station. Who has your heart? My two dogs and my girlfriend. Do you have any online friends that you wanna keep, but not meet? Continued from last night because I was tired enough to pass out in the middle of this survey, apparently. Not really. I always find myself wanting to meet online friends. The worst I’ve felt is not wanting to meet an online friend again after I’ve met them, because irl them turned out to be a big dickhead. What’s something you want that has not changed as time has passed? To somehow get into the pro wrestling industry in any kind of capacity. Are you gullible? Sometimes. Though an exception to this fact is that I can somehow always sniff out whenever a parent or a friend has a surprise for me, so I’m rarely 100% taken aback by them. Does it take a lot for the opposite sex to impress you? I’m easy to impress in general. Are there seriously subliminal messages within Disney movies? I don’t care. I watch Disney movies to feel like a kid, man. I ain’t got time to look for symbols that flash on the screen for 0.0000001 seconds. Should cloning ever be allowed to happen? I don’t know enough about biotechnology to hold an opinion that I’m confident with, honestly. Your last injury was what? I have a bit of a gash from when I hit my right hip on the corner of our dining table. I’m pretty sure I also recorded this as my last injury not too long ago, and I swear this is a new gash LMFAOOOOO fuck I’m so clumsy. Are all of your friends going to be lifelong? I don’t wanna set anything in stone. I said my high school friends were gonna be forever, and I couldn’t be any more wrong about it. How long can you stand hanging upside down? :P I can’t even get into that position in the first place, lol. Should pot be legalized? I don’t know. I guess. I haven’t heard any instance where it seriously harmed a person. Weed is generally a taboo subject where I live – and the only thing I know about it is that it’s dealt by the richer, more boujee college kids lmfao – and a consequence of that is that I hardly know anything about it. Is" Family Guy" too random? Random wouldn’t be the first word I’d use for it? but yeah it can be, sometimes. I do remember finding some scenes a little bizarre. Do you have any friends that you love but they annoy you a lot? Yeah this was definitely me with Katreen in high school. In college, the only person I can think of is Mils; sometimes Reiven. Who would you live with if you got kicked out tomorrow? My grandma. I’d move back to our old home, basically. The most repulsive tactic the opposite sex uses? Obviously I wanna avoid generalizing but I’ve encountered so many screenshots of dudes throwing a fit when someone turns them down, or gets surprised that politeness ≠ flirting. It’s so annoying but at the same time I can’t get enough of those screenshots too lol. Are you impatient with really shy people? No, I’m one myself. I have a lot more patience with quiet people than with extroverts. What's gonna happen in year 2012? The year didn’t end, I got into One Direction, I got braces, I met my best friend, and life started to slowly look up from there. Do people consider you "easy to read"? You’ll have to ask people. What's your least favorite curse word? Cunt. Eugh, I winced just typing that out haha. What's a pet your parents never let you have when you were a kid? :( I was never that desperate for a pet. We had enough stray cats that hung out around our house because my grandma would always give them leftovers. Have any websites that have become a habit? Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, YouTube. Who do you wish you could change, if anyone? My mom, but it’s too late for that now. Has your house ever been broken into? Never. That’s a fear of mine, too. Do you always give your honest opinion when people ask for it? I guess. I’ve stopped being blunt, but I’ll always add a bit of truth into what I say.

[missmeltycat]

Quick Statement From Stanza Part 2 - COVID19 Lockdown Stuff

I will make this in English rather than any other language, as the majority of my fans and followers speak it as their first language and it will be easier. To those of you already on lockdown, like myself (I am on day 12, a little ahead of most in this country due to coming in contact with someone who potentially has it), there are many things to help you work out your boredom. It is early days for some and some of you have been isolating for quite a while, either way don’t be discouraged! Thank you for following advice and doing your part! (Heck knows so many aren’t and are being selfish.) It can get lonely, or boring, so this is where I will try and help out with some ideas! Many of you are probably isolated from your loved ones and are finding it both sad and lonely. Some of you may have girlfriends/boyfriends, mothers and fathers, or just very good friends who you have no been able to see. I sypmathise entirely. I have not been able to see my mother, who is like a best friend to me, for weeks now and it is tough. However! We use messenger video chat twice a day to talk to each other. This is one way that we are beating the feeling of isolation. Why not try setting up a regular video call with your friends or family? If you don’t use messenger, why not try Skype or even Discord? Discord is easy to use and allows for video calls as well! If video is not an option for you, try to keep in touch using regular calls. Use messenger, or Discord as a way to just call people up. It’s free and you won’t rack up a huge phone bill as a result. As for activities, there are many options available depending on your capabilities. Take this time you have to try some of the following:

Learn a new skill - There are many resources out there to help you learn something new. Books available online PDFs, Youtube tutorials, you name it. The sky is the limit!

Draw things every day - Take this time to draw something ecah day. Even if you consider yourself unskilled, it doesn’t matter! Try using it as a creative outlet, maybe try drawing something each day you are indoors that documents how you feel and how you overcame it, or even just things that make you extremely happy.

Write! - This one is something I think people need to do more of and Tumblr is actually the perfect place to do it. Like the above suggestion, why not document how you feel, or write things you have always wanted to. Got a great idea for a story? Do it!

Cooking and baking - This is a great opportunity to learn how to cook/bake, or to create new recipes based on what you have in your cupboard. Sometimes coming up with new meals on a limited budget or limited cupboard stock can be tough, so lets get creative! I have been creating a lot of things from basic cupboard staples lately myself and it’s been super fun! If people want any advice on reducing waste and recipes, feel free to ask!

Exercise - Of course I’m going to talk about this. It would be weird for me not to, right? ;) Exercise is a very important thing during isolation. While we are allowed some exercise when in lockdown, it is not enough for your daily needs. This is why staying active indoors is a must. It not only helps your immune system, it also helps your mental wellbeing! There are many ways you can do this as well and you don’t need fancy gym equipment. Tinned goods can actually be used as light weights for you to hold, bags of sugar too. You can even create your own dance routines as you clean and cook! Maybe even set yourself a goal to do a set number of squats, or push ups per day!

Schedule - I know, I know. Some of you probably cringed at the word. I’m not a fan of schedules myself. (Shock horror!) But, this can actually be a big help. With a structured day you will find that, not only will you be more productive, but your days will be fulfilling and less boring. Start with your breakfast. (This is important! Don’t skip it! Even if it’s just a banana, or something small like a yogurt, don’t skip! COFFEE DOESN’T COUNT!) Schedule something light to begin with so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Maybe something like watering your plants, or taking out trash from the night before. That way you can build up your motivation. Then move on to something like the laundry or dishes, then as the day goes on make the chorse a little bigger. Have your meals at set times each day and train your body so that it expects them. Try not to miss any if you can. After each meal, scedule a lighter task and build up again. But, one important thing... Make sure to always schedule yourself your own free time to enjoy yourself! This is VERY important! Your mental health also relies on you to have fun and do what you love.

Some other misc ideas:

Make a list of things you want to do after this calms down. Now, we don’t know how long this is going to take, but I know plenty of people are doing this. This can be simple things like riding your bike in the park, to things like visiting that museum you always wanted to, or travelling to another country. Even something as simple as making more time for your friends and family. Make your lists (Keep it realistic, of course) and give yourself things to look forward to!

Join a Dungeons and Dragons session, or start one

Join an online craft club

Join an online book club

Grow some plants or even vegetables and fruit (I have potatoes that I will be planting soon myself!)

Read that book you’ve been putting off reading

Contact nursing homes to see if you can set up a video call with some elderly folks to help them while they are also isolated from loved ones

Play that game you’ve been wanting to but keep putting off

Paint something

Refurbish an old piece of furniture with a lick of paint or two

Get fit (See tips above)

Learn a new dance move each day

Learn a language

Learn a new word each day and try and use it (This works well with drawing and writing! You can base the art/writing around that word!)

Sew those darn clothes you’ve been meaning to repair for ages (Alternatively, learn to sew! It’s an important skill and helps make clothing waste less extreme when you don’t end up tossing that shirt that has a hole in the underarm.)

Photography! Photograph things in your environment. Document your isolation. Let the world see things in your life in new and interesting ways. (Obviously, stay safe and don’t identify anything too personal such as your address and street, etc.)

Make music! Learn to play an instrument, or make music if you already know how to play. You can even download programs to create music digitally! (I highly recommend Fruity Loops Studio if you can afford it! I’ve used it for years!) You can even collaborate with friends by recording your part, they record their parts and you can mix together to create something amazing!

Call your neighbors if you know their numbers. I’m sure they’d love the chat!

MOVIE MARATHON!

Quit something. Now is a great time to quit that bad habit. Whether it be just a bad habit you have like being lazy, or even something like smoking, alcohol, or even drugs. Why not make it your goal to come out of this clean and healthy and free of the things that hold you back?

OK I need to add some elf propaganda in here somewhere, so here we go. Try and make it your goal to include fruit and veg in your diet every day. See what creative ways you can include it, say hiding it in other foods, making brilliant new recipes or even smoothies!

Whatever you end up doing, stay safe, stay healthy and stay occupied. And if you feel down and lonely, remember that we are in this together. Just send a message! I’m always around!

I also have a Discord for anyone should they feel low and need the interaction. It’s full of decent people and even has an emotional support channel:

https://discord.gg/FyDMxq7

[hiddenbeats247]

Spotlight - Andrew Cassara

Today our Spotlight – Andrew Cassara. In light of all that’s happening right now with the current lock down its great to see new music coming out to keep everyone just a little more entertained. Andrew is an up and coming artist from right here in Ottawa and we got a chance to chat with him (from a distance) about his music and new single Bad Bad. Check it out!

How did you get into music? When I was a little a kid, I was a huge fan of the Backstreet Boys. I remember how excited I was every single time their music videos appeared on television. I’d watch them and listen to their songs, and I knew all the words and dance moves, so I’d put on little shows in my living room for my family and sing and dance to their songs. Watching their concert videos and seeing all the bright lights and the fans screaming, it really inspired me. It started this dream about becoming an artist. That’s pretty much how I started becoming curious about music! Who are your musical inspirations? My inspirations have always been the Backstreet Boys as I grew up but as I started writing more and more songs, I started really getting into music from Maroon 5, Jamiroquai, Charlie Puth and lately Harry Styles. I’ve also opened my mind to learning about a lot of disco and funk bands from the 70’s and that really inspired me to add some retro flavours to some of the songs on my upcoming album. You’re incredibly popular on socials, and are super engaging with your fans, I was quickly scrolling through some of your followers, and you don’t follow very many folks. Who’s someone you follow that you wish followed you back? Man, that’s a really tough question! I’d say that a follow from Shawn Mendes would be pretty cool. I’ve been following him online for the past couple years and I’ve seen him live a couple times, so his career has been a good inspiration for me for quite some time. Plus, he’s Canadian too haha!! You’ve been making quite a name for yourself here in Ottawa, playing at Bluesfest, Glowfair. What’s it like for someone from here to be playing on stage where you grew up seeing the artists that inspired you? It’s quite a surreal feeling! I actually made myself a promise that I wouldn’t go to Bluesfest until I got the chance to be a part of the lineup. When I got the chance to perform on the main stage, because of the promise I made myself, I’ve never actually been to a music festival in my life so the whole experience meant so much to me. It’s one thing to see your favorite artists on the music festival poster, but to see your name on the same page with them, is a feeling that’s hard to explain. I felt really proud that day. You also recently played at the Live at Heart Festival in Sweden, the NAMM (National Association of Music Merchants), and in South Korea. Anywhere you want to hit up next? There are so many places that I’d like to perform but for quite some time I’ve had my eye on the Summer Sonic music festival in Japan. I think that would be a wicked time! I’m also really curious about performing in more countries around Asia! I often get messages from fans asking when I’ll be coming to the Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia and China to name a few; so, I’m really looking forward to making that happen soon! You were signed with Steve Gardiner when you were 17/18? What was that like? One day I received a message in my inbox from Steve inviting me to record a song with him in his studio and the next thing you know, he’s my manager/producer. We’ve been working together ever since, and I think we make a really good team. He’s probably the person with the biggest heart that I know and I’m really glad that life has brought us together on this journey. I owe a lot to him for believing so much in me to this very day. If you could have a dream collab who would it be and why? Recently, I listened to the new Dua Lipa album that just came out. It’s very disco influenced and it’s probably one of my favorite albums this year. Since our styles a pretty similar now, I think that would make a really fun collaboration!

You’ve been very vocal in trying to open up better dialogue for mental health awareness, would you like to expand more on that? Of course! A couple years ago I took part in the YouthXCanada Music Tour. We visited Youth Centres in many communities around Canada to perform shows for the kids and we spent a lot of time having open discussions about mental health and the stigma that revolves around it. Hearing all the stories from the kids in these communities and seeing how music can bring out smiles got me thinking. While all of this was happening, I later realized that I was experiencing my own issues with Mental Health and I started pushing it off to the side because I didn’t really understand what was happening to me. It came to me that there are probably millions of cases around the world that are similar to mine. It wasn’t until things got much worse that I started speaking out about it and made efforts to try and solve the issues. So, I think it’s really important that I try my best to show that our mental health should be cared for like any other wound and that it isn’t a sign of weakness. With your new single is dropping, any other big projects in the work? Yeah! On May 1st, I’ll be dropping my debut album Freak on Repeat and then I’ll be working on bringing the album to the stage! What was your creative process like for Bad Bad? With “Bad Bad” the creative process set the pace for the rest of the album in my opinion. We worked so hard making sure that the song could be the best it could. It was definitely one of the songs that took the longest because we fine-tuned the all the elements in the track so meticulously until we decided that it was good enough to master. “Bad Bad” was also one of the first songs that I actually co-produced in my song-writing career. It was some of the most fun I’ve had in the studio. I really got to express myself creatively in a new way and in turn it motivated me to push myself to be more open-minded and take more risks by experimenting in various ways with the music style I’m moving towards. What is the story you are trying to tell with your music? I write a lot of different stories throughout my songs but the story that I’m trying to tell throughout all of them is to enjoy the moment and have fun! What is the best music advice you have been given so far and what would your advice be to someone coming into the industry? Probably the best piece of advice that I’ve gotten is from my manager. He often tells me that I should think of my career as a marathon, not a sprint. So, it’s really important to look at the big picture and focus on moving forward steadily. There will be lots of up and downs and you always get 1000 no’s before you get that one yes that matters. So, if you feel like nothing is happening in that moment, take a step back and look at how far you’ve come since this day last year. It’ll give you a better perspective on your situation and what you need to do to keep moving and doing what you love. What do you want to tell your fans? I’m so excited to release my debut album Freak on Repeat. I’ve been working on the album for 2 years and the time is finally near. I can’t wait to meet you all and perform the songs live for you! With the current state of the world in light of the Covid-19 pandemic, I’d like to say that I hope you are all being safe and careful out there. I hope to see you all soon once all of this passes. Sending lots of love – Andrew. Check out the new single Bad Bad available now! Make sure to follow Andrew for upcoming releases and new. www.andrewcassaramusic.com Spotlight - Andrew Cassara

For your change to get your Spotlight contact us here. Read the full article

[rallamajoop]

On the history of the airline stewardess (and why she deserves so much more credit than you probably realise)

So, to recap: in the name of producing one short fanfic, I have now spent far too many months researching the history of the airline stewardess. It's safe to say I came to the subject primed to get sucked in hard (in brief: I hail from an RAF family on my dad's side, and there is a definite vein of aviation nerdery running throuth us all to this day). But as not more than a fraction of that material was ever going to make it into the fic, it seemed the least I could do to give a quick summary of some of the cool things I got to read while getting horribly sidetracked er, writing this thing, and why others might find them interesting too.

If it wasn't obvious from all those quotes in the opening paragraphs (most only-slightly-paraphrased from real news items), I have borrowed heavily from my sources in writing this fic. The bit about Heather's former roommate who kept her uniform pressed every day for months after her marriage, for example, comes direct from the life of stewardess Connie Bosza, whereas most of the rest of the anecdotes about Heather's housemates and homelife actually happened to Sherry Waterman. Usually I'd have worked harder to remix and reinvent, but here I found myself getting so attached to the subject that not sharing as much of these real women's stories as possible felt like the greater betrayal. But I'll skip citing every article I saved in the process (ask if you're really that curious) and skip to the meatier sources.

My own gateway to the subject came from Victoria Vantoch's book The Jet Sex: Airline Stewardesses and the Making of an American Icon, where, in an introductory spiel about the life of her own mother, she lays out the profession as a mass of contradictions. Not only does she cover the subject from the very first stewardess of the 1930's to the equal rights challenges of the 1970's which transformed the industry, the work serves as a fascinating insight (and sometimes horrifically so) into the realities of Cold War gender politics. Vantoch deliberately underlines the case that, just because this is a story about a lot of pretty women doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to be treated as serious history. Though there are places I wish she'd gone into more depth, it's an excellent introduction to the topic (and available as an ebook if you want a copy).

For real inspiration, however, I got far more out of From Another Island: Adventures and Misadventures of an Airline Stewardess—the personal account of Sherry Waterman, one of few real stewardesses ever to get around to publishing a memoir (Flying Mary O'Connor is another, but it's out of print, not available at my mainstay of BookDepository.com, and cost somewhat more than I felt justified in spending on ebay). Beginning around 1950, she worked for American Airlines for 6 years, and when she had exhausted the possibilities of domestic air travel, she transferred to Transocean Air Lines and spent another 3 years flying the Pacific. The result is remarkably readable and captures the scope, the joy and the absurdities of the profession with gusto. (Waterman really did, for example, recognise a surprised-but-flattered Dr. Edward Teller on one of her flights, and has stories to share about passengers getting stuck in aircraft toilets—though in reality, the size of the passenger was apparently the primary issue).

By contrast, though equally well-written, Sex objects in the sky: A personal account of the stewardess rebellion, by Paula Kane, was a much harder read. Like Waterman, Kane spent 5 years with American Airlines, beginning in the late 60's, but she describes an experience of growing disillusionment punctuated by incidents of sexual harassment so unpleasant that my rec for this book probably warrants a content warning. The rebellion Kane chronicles would not have been possible without the prior civil rights victories of the 60's, but the sexual revolution and changing nature of the industry had plainly produced an attitude of entitlement to women's bodies that would become infinitely worse before it got better (and this is one of few subjects I only wish The Jet Sex had covered in more detail). In the process, she captures a moment in her profession's battle not only for their own rights, but to make air travel safer for everyone on board.

I owe a particular debt to Kane's book for underlining something which had gone understated in my last two sources—namely the vital importance flight attendants may play in managing an evacuation from the plane in the event of a crash. And thus it is, of course, that my story obtained its set piece. (For the record, Sex objects in the sky is available to borrow from OpenLibraries online, and thus one of the most accessible sources on this list.)

For more on key role flight attendants can genuinely play in saving lives, I'd also recommend the Angels of the Sky series as the Confessions of a Trolley Dolly website, and the Air Crash Investigations episode Getting Out Alive. For one last great online source I discovered in the middle of writing the story, we have Winged Women: Stewardesses, Sexism, and American Society—a Master's thesis by Michele Martin, which is freely available online, and built around interviews with several retired stewardesses. Don't let the fact it's a thesis put you off this one—it's written in very accessible fashion, and works as a much-abbreviated version of The Jet Sex for a good overview of the history of the subject. It even includes an account of a plane crash where two quick-thinking stewardesses really were instrumental in getting every last person of the plane in the nick of time (most other real-life examples I'd managed to uncover to this point, the heroism of the stewardess was underlined by the fact that a great many people did not make it out).

I would love to say more on the subject, but I don't think I could better explain how this subject grabbed me the way it did than to quote from the sources themselves. So if, by some miracle, you still want to hear more, below you will find quotes from the introduction of each of those three key sources. I'd like to thienk they all, in their different ways, really speak for themselves.

Jet Sex: Airline Stewardesses and the Making of an American Icon Victoria Vantoch

In 1956, when my mother was in eighth grade, she dreamed of becoming the first female astronaut. She went on to become the salutatorian of her high-school class and won first prize in a model UN speech contest that awarded her a month-long, all-expense-paid trip to historical sites around the country. She subsequently earned a B.A. in Slavic languages from UCLA. The Library of Congress Aerospace Technology Division recruited her for her Russian language skills and she moved to Washington, D.C., where she translated Russian aerospace articles on everything from Alexey Leonov, the first person to walk in space, to metallurgy—all of which bored her to the core. She considered graduate school for international studies but did not have much savings and could not stomach the prospect of living on peanut-butter sandwiches for four years, so, in 1968, she brushed up on her Russian and interviewed for a stewardess position with Pan Am, which had just started flying to Moscow. She was devastated when the airline rejected her, but she managed to win a position with Eastern Airlines and her hometown newspaper chronicled her success. As a stewardess, she moved into a boarding house with Alice Paul, one of the twentieth century’s most famous women’s rights activists. While living with Paul, her life was a collage of contradictions. She lobbied on Capitol Hill for the Equal Rights Amendment at the same time that she went to work as a stewardess wearing pale blue hot pants. In 1969, she gave a speech to Congress in honor of the early women’s rights activist Lucretia Mott. The topic: gender equality in the workforce. That same year she also competed in two beauty pageants. She got married, had my sister and me, continued to fly, and spent much of her adult life feeling guilty about being an absent parent. Flying was never really about the money for my mother. It meant freedom from suburban life and office monotony, and participation in a public realm that was usually reserved for men. I rode on flights with her and felt proud—my mother was the stewardess. And since airlines allowed employees to bring their families on flights for free, by the time I was twelve I had traveled to twenty-five countries. Some of my mother’s early stewardess friends went on to get doctorates in chemistry, to work at the Department of Defense, to manage large households of their own, and to become successful attorneys. My mother, however, continued to fly until Eastern went out of business. Without a job at the age of forty-eight, she desperately campaigned for a stewardess position with other airlines. She created a colorful posterboard presentation that read, “I will die if I don’t fly” (along with—I’m serious—a song she wrote about her love of flying) and sent it to the American Airlines personnel department, which, after a series of interviews, hired her.

But this was the early 1990s and, by now, being a stewardess had lost its cachet. Around that time, in my early teens, I was interviewing for admission to exclusive New England boarding schools. During one interview that wasn’t going particularly well, the pompous interviewer in a tweed jacket suggested that I become a stewardess like my mother—“ because of my smile.” I knew then I would be rejected. My face burned. I stopped mentioning my mother’s profession. It was no longer something to be proud of. It had become an insult. My fascination with airline stewardesses began with my mother. It began with curiosity about how a talented public speaker who was nearly fluent in Russian and committed to women’s rights chose a career that ultimately allowed her to be written off as a vapid sex object and, ultimately, as a low-status service worker.

From Another Island Sherry Waterman

I was aware even then of so many little things commonplace to us, and yet so significant. These things were most evident in San Francisco, one of the crossroads of the airline world. A lei of wilted pikake blossoms tossed across a copy of the New York Times – both had been fresh that morning; two roommates had returned from Honolulu and New York. A pair of Alaskan mukluks and an aloha shirt crammed together in a suitcase; another roommate was leaving for Tokyo and returning via the Aleutians. Two stewardesses, chattering on the phone about their forthcoming vacations; each was going around the world in a different direction, and one was saying, impatiently, "Well, okay then. I’ll meet you in Egypt." Six roommates gathered around the table for a spaghetti dinner, pleased by the rarity of their all being at home together, and no one bothering to comment that at dinner the night before, all had been thousands of miles away, in different directions.

This was our way of life and it was natural to us. It was the way most of our friends lived and we often lost sight of the fact that it was not the way everybody lived. We were impatient with people who expected us to make dentist appointments three weeks in advance— who could know where she would be three weeks hence?—and we regarded a six months' lease on an apartment as signing up for eternity. We lived from city to city and felt at home in all of them, but we also lived from day to day, and never felt truly at home anywhere. During the first week in June, Dallas was our home and we loved it. Our roommates were among the best we'd ever had. Then the Texas summer hit with fierce intensity, and we raced to the airport with transfer requests clutched in our perspiring hands. Two weeks later we were settled by the sea in Los Angeles, and we spent the summer on the beaches. But the summer waned and the chilly fogs became more frequent, and it was time to move back to Dallas. So the transfer requests were filled out again. It was October, and one of us was playing Autumn in New York on the record player, and another one of us said, "Did you notice that tree on the corner has some leaves that are turning brown —just like the leaves back East?" So we changed the course of our lives with the eraser on a pencil.

We could follow the sun or the seasons with less planning than most girls give to a two-week vacation. We packed ice skates and swim suits in the same suitcase and used them both within 48 hours.

All of this was in the days before jets, but we still got around pretty fast, and we always measured distance in terms of time rather than miles. "How far is it to Dallas from here?" "Oh, four hours in a DC-7. Or were you speaking about a Six?" Short distances were figured that way too. A girl who lived in the beach area of Los Angeles would have her hair done and her shoes repaired in Washington, D.C., because it was "closer" —a ten-minute walk from her layover hotel. We were familiar with so many cities that sometimes we got them confused. I dropped a token in the fare box of a San Francisco bus and the driver stopped me as I started toward the back. "What's the matter," I inquired, "isn't that token for this bus line?' "Lady," he said, squinting at it, "that token isn't even for this country."

Sex Objects in the Sky Paula Kane

Almost lost in all the sexual innuendo of the Madison Avenue imagery is the primary reason why stewardesses are on board a plane, which is to enforce safety regulations and supervise the immediate evacuation of the plane in the event of a crash. And in crash after crash, the efficiency and courage of the stewardesses have meant the difference between passengers' lives and deaths.

Forty passengers and three crew members were killed in the December 8, 1972, crash of a United Airlines jet at Chicago's Midway Airport. But fifteen passengers survived, many of them because of the heroic efforts of the two stewardesses, Kathleen S. Duret and D. Jeanne Griffin.

The plane crashed into a block of houses one and a half miles southeast of the runway while attempting an instrument landing in scattered fog. Almost the entire front end of the plane was demolished on impact. The two stewardesses, who had been seated in jump seats at the back of the plane, rushed to open an emergency exit, but were driven back by raging flames. They worked their way along the right side of the burning cabin, clearing away the debris of galley equipment blocking the aisle. Then, one by one, they assisted nine surviving passengers to the exit and out of the plane, pausing each time to take gasps of fresh air before returning to the dark, burning, smoke-filled cabin. Six passengers found their own way out through breaks in the plane's fuselage.

The National Transportation Safety Board found in its investigation of the accident that most of the passengers in the cabin section died after impact as a result of inhaling carbon monoxide and other poisonous fumes from the fire. Those nine passengers lived because of the experience, the expertise, and the courage of Ms. Griffin, a stewardess for ten years prior to the accident, and Ms. Duret, a stewardess for seven years.

Yet their actions earned just one sentence in the sixty-one-page NTSB report: '"Nine passengers who exited through the rear service door were assisted by the two flight attendants; these attendants were the last to leave the aircraft."

Their exceptional bravery in carrying out their legal role on the plane, as stated in Federal Aviation Regulation 121391, "to provide the most effective egress of passengers in the event of an emergency evacuation," earned them no citations or awards from the airline.

Stewardesses who please customers, who receive complimentary letters, and provide exceptional "service," receive awards of merit from the airline. But apparently not stewardesses who save human lives. You have entered the weird, upside down, Alice-in-Wonderland world of the airlines. Presumably the companies are very concerned about safety, since the public's concern for safety on planes has been a major problem in attracting more customers. Yet in several areas the airlines display an incredible disregard for elemental safety. Hazardous materials are illegally shipped in cargo bins below the passengers' seats. Cabins are constructed with materials that in accidents emit a deadly, cyanide-filled smoke.

The stewardesses, in charge of safety in the cabin, are dolled up in miniskirts and coonskin caps, "hot pants," and other bizarre costumes. They are seated in unsafe jump seats, in unsafe corners of the plane, are always called "girls," and are treated like children by the company. And when they "grow up," they are encouraged to leave, even forced out after flying a few years, because they are no longer considered girlish enough. The tightly written script they are ordered to act out in the air, including the constant smiles, the constant engaging of each customer's eyes, the constant subserviance, makes it difficult and sometimes impossible for them to enforce even rudimentary discipline during the flight.

The sexual stewardess fantasy has a direct effect on the safety of flying. It also takes its toll on the psyches of the women who play the role. Stewardesses tend to have serious identity problems as a result of being treated like pieces of fluffy assembline line equipment by the airlines. We tend to move in regular stages from romantic idealism to disillusionment to frustration and anger and self-doubt.

[...] But in the past few years stewardesses have finally started to fight back. They have won a series of rulings by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that have stopped the airlines from forcing women to retire from flying at an early age and from banning married flight attendants.

[threewaysdivided]

Mental Health Help List

I’ve never really brought it up on this blog but in the past I have (and sometimes still do) struggled with pretty bad anxiety and depression (don’t worry: I’m doing perfectly fine right now). After talking to another user I thought it might be good to put together a list of strategies that I’ve found helpful during bad patches, in case they can help anyone else.

Disclaimer: Obviously these aren’t one size-fits-all and they certainly shouldn’t be used in place of a therapist. If you are struggling with these or similar problems, please seek professional help.

Mindfulness/Meditation Exercises

I know some will pooh-pooh this, but psychosomatics is an actual thing. It can be harder to bring your thoughts to a manageable place if your body is in a state of high alertness, agitation, panic or other stress. Calm one, calm the other.

Breath Slowing your breathing into a regular rhythm can do a lot to help you settle down. I find breathing to the count of four (4 second inhale, 4 second exhale) to be a comfortable pattern.

Grounding/Settling Exercise (long) This one comes courtesy of the School of Philosophy and is about pulling your mind away from your thoughts and fully into the present moment.

Find a comfortable place where you can sit/ lie with your arms and legs unfolded.  Settle into a comfortable slow breathing pattern and close your eyes.  Cycle through your senses:

Grounding/ Touch Fall down into your body’s weight. Feel the surface beneath you and beneath your feet, letting it press into and support you. Be aware of how your clothes hang on your body. Feel the air on your skin. Hold for 30 seconds.

Taste Open your mouth. Become aware of what you can taste. Observe but try to avoid analysing. Hold for 30 seconds.

Smell Focus on what you can smell. Be aware of the different smells around you without analysis or comment. Hold for 30 seconds.

Sight Open your eyes. Allow your mind to perceive colour and form without comment. Hold for 30 seconds. Close your eyes.

Hearing (I) Listen to your immediate surroundings. Observe without analysis or comment. Hold for 30 seconds.

Hearing (II) Extend your hearing out to its furthest. Perceive faint and distant sounds without comment. Hold for 30 seconds.

Rest Rest in the awareness of your surroundings and your body. Cycle back to any senses you found particularly comfortable. Hold for at least 30 seconds. Open your eyes when you feel ready.

Simple Sleep Exercise (short) Find somewhere comfortable to lie down.  Settle into a comfortable slow breathing pattern.

Grounding/Weight Fall down into your body’s weight.  Imagine your body becoming heavy and sinking into the surface beneath you.

Eyes Keep your eyes closed if possible.  Give attention to how your eyeballs and the area around them feels - heaviness, pressure, weight etc. Allow your eyes to fall back and rest in your head. If keeping your eyes closed is uncomfortable, find something that is easy to look upon. Hold your vision there and let your mind perceive form and colour without comment.

Thoughts Allow yourself to think without attempting to hold a chain of thought.  Keep a notepad nearby - if a thought feels urgent or like it needs further attention, write it down for later then let it go. If your thoughts start to become muddled, disjointed or nonsensical do not attempt to refocus - you are probably close to falling asleep and doing so will only bring you back to alertness.

Musical aids: Sometimes your brain will attempt to dwell and fixate on distressing thoughts/emotions despite the exercises.  In this case, it can help to play background music to give yourself an extra focal point that doesn’t demand your full attention.

Here are some of my go-to calming tracks: Gabriel’s Oboe (The Mission) Chance Meeting (Skyrim OST) Tundra (Skyrim OST) Atmospheres (Skyrim OST) Greenpath (Hollow Knight OST) Queen’s Gardens (Hollow Knight OST) Reflection (Hollow Knight OST)

Talk to Someone

If you’re on your own it can become very easy to start dwelling on harmful thoughts and fall into a cycle of negative reinforcement/circular logic that sends you into a downward spiral.  Even if you’re intellectually aware of the fact, it can be hard to convince your own brain when it’s being irrational and heading into unwarranted distress or self-loathing.

If you feel like you’re trapped in a negative thought pattern, one of the best things you can do is reach out to another person. If you’re not comfortable telling them exactly what’s happening, that’s okay - all you’re really looking for is a rational anchor who’ll be willing to stay with/ talk to you until your brain can break free of the spiral and focus on other things again. Once you’re out of the hole, you can make plans to see a therapist/otherwise handle things - right now you just need a leg up. (Important: You may feel like you are burdening, bothering, stressing out, interrupting or should otherwise avoid contacting anyone. This is irrational bullshit trickery on your brain’s part. Caring goes both ways; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying “Hey, I’m in a bad place right now and could really use someone to talk to.”)

What if no-one’s available/ I don’t have anyone to contact?

If you can’t reach anyone or are convinced that you shouldn’t bring friends/family into it, you can get help by contacting your local crisis support and suicide prevention groups.  They’re called crisis support for a reason - even if you’re reasonably sure that you aren’t going to go through with anything, you should still call if you’re in distress and need help.

America:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Call: 1-800-273-8255 Online Chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

Crisis Text Line: 24/7, nationwide crisis-intervention text-message hotline Contact: Text HOME to 741-741

Trevor Project: 24-hour phone hotline for for LGBTQ+ individuals (plus limited-hour webchat and text options) Call: 1-866-488-7386

United Kingdom:

Samaritans: 24/7, toll-free crisis line throughout the UK Call:  116 123 (UK),  116 123 (ROI)

Canada:

Crisis Services Canada:  24/7, toll-free, nation-wide suicide prevention and support network (plus limited-hour text and regional chat services). Call: 1-833-456-4566

Australia:

Lifeline: 24-hour nationwide crisis support, suicide prevention and mental health support services (plus limited-hour online chat). Call: 13 11 14 Chat: https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/online-services/crisis-chat 

Beyond Blue: 24/7 nationwide information and support for anxiety, depression, and suicide (plus limited-hour online chat). Call: 1300 22 4636 Chat: https://online.beyondblue.org.au/Webmodules/chat/InitialInformation.aspx

Follow this link to find additional help and support services in other countries.

Record your small wins: ‘Things I did today’

Going to give a shout-out to my Dad for this one.  During bad times it can be easy to convince yourself that you’re totally useless and unproductive.

Something he suggested, and that I’ve found really helpful, is to keep a log of all the productive or enjoyable things you’ve done each day.  And I do mean all of them:

Made your bed? Write it down.  Prepared food for you and/or your pet? That too. Tidied/organised something? Did laundry? Watered your plants?  Fantastic. Talked to someone (IRL or online)?  Made or reblogged (a) post(s)?  Found a cool video? Netflix Binge? Played a Game?  Yep, all of that. Left the house?  Ran errands?  Exercised?  Splendid. Did some work towards a project/ homework/ study?  Absolutely put that down. Actually finished a project or reached a milestone?  Biggest, Boldest, Fanciest Note you can.

The fact is that it’s very easy to discount all the small contributions you make each day - especially if, like me, you’re a former perfectionist or compulsive overachiever.  I found this list to be a good weapon against irrational self-criticism - a way to present my brain with solid, irrefutable evidence that (while they might not be big or fancy) things were being done and I was being productive, no matter how much I felt I wasn’t.

Make things

Being creative helps.  It doesn’t matter what you make, or what the quality is, the act of making gives you something to focus on that produces a tangible end result.  Hard to feel useless when you’ve got solid proof of your efforts right in front of you.

There are ~7.53 billion people on Earth, but there’s only one of YOU.  Take care of it.