#5.19.20

[minnesotafollower]

List of Posts to dwkcommentaries—Topical: Cuba: 5.19.20-7.19.24

             No. Date             Title 1596 05/19/20       More Objectionable U.S. Statements About Cuba 1600 05/23/20       U.S. Insulting Proclamation of May 20th as Cuba’s Independence Day 1663 08/07/20       Cuba Eliminates List of Permissible Activities for Private Sector 1700 10/11/20       New U.S. Sanctions Against Cuba 1731 12/20/20        Strong  Recommendation for New U.S.…

[mysticalblizzardcolor]

Devotees are Krishna's messenger, as they deliver the messege of Krishna to you. They are the true angles and meeting such a devotee is a mercy of the lord.

After many, many births, when the results of one's pious activities mature, one gets an opportunity to associate with a pure devotee.

Then one is able to cut the knot of bondage to ignorance by transcendental knowledge, which bound him because of varied fruitive activities. As a result of associating with devotees, one gradually renders service to Lord Vāsudeva, that devotional service known as Bhakti-Yoga to Lord Vāsudeva, is the real path of liberation.

SB 5.19.20

[lordeellaofficial]

an email from ella - 5.19.20

Well hello there. I realised the other day it had been a minute since we chatted, and I was missing you. Do you wear your hair long or short now? Did you take your piercings out? You’ll probably be pleased to know my hair is big and long again. I think after Melodrama came out I said I wouldn’t put out another record until my hair was long— both because hair takes time to grow, and I knew I needed time, and because I knew the next record would require the longest and wildest hair yet. In many cultures and religions throughout history, long hair has been viewed as a source of power and a link to the spiritual world, and I can certainly say that I have never felt more spiritually rich, and in touch with the voices that guide.

(Yes I’m a fucking herb. Sue me!!!)

I hope you and your friends and family are staying safe. It’s a wild time. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that in the past two months.

New Zealand is creeping back to normal. Shops and restaurants are open again. I’ve seen some friends. I feel so grateful for such calm, sensible leadership by our government, now more than ever. I know you may not be afforded that where you live, and I hope you’re taking it one day at a time and trying not to feel too destroyed by the news. I’m thinking of you all the time. It’s that time of year in New Zealand where it’s cold and clear. The light is bright and stark, with lots of contrasting shadows. The sky is the dark bright blue which signals approaching winter. The cars are back on the roads, which is a bit of a weird thing. The quiet streets had given me a glimpse at a different city, one where I could hear the sparrows in the huge London plane trees at rush hour. Maybe one day we’ll be back there again. I don’t know. The first three months of this year started as a blur, and began to sharpen. It was summer, a time of year which is usually so clarifying and special to me, but I was grieving hard for Pearl, carrying it everywhere with me. I found a note in my phone from November which said: I eat a grief sandwich I wear a grief coat I see a grief film. If you know how it feels to lose someone close, I’m sure that makes sense to you. Everything about you becomes a grief thing! The dreamy warm time of year I normally love so much — the beaches and the green fields — it all felt hollow without my boy beside me. I started going back to the studio again in December, just for something to do, and to my surprise, good things came out. Happy, playful things. I felt my melodic muscles flexing and strengthening. Jack came over to work in the studio in Auckland, and I went to LA. It flowed. A thing started to take shape. And then, of course, the world shut down. We’re still working away — Jack and I FaceTimed for over an hour this morning going over everything. But it’ll take a while longer.

I’ve been looking at some of your notes online, and I can feel the (extremely sweet, EXTREMELY flattering) desperation creeping back into your voices. You need it! The thing can’t come soon enough! I understand— I want nothing more than to feed you treats, pop perfect morsels straight into your little mouths. But as I get older I realise there’s something to be said for the pleasant feeling of waiting for something of quality to become available to you. You could have something of lesser quality much faster, but as the high quality thing comes into fruition, a warm feeling grows inside you. Do you know what I mean? I get this feeling when I make bread, or put my seedlings in after the last frost, or even when I wait for a particular package to arrive. Waiting, the thing that felt so pointless and annoying when I was young, is now this kind of delicious activity. In my opinion, the greatest treat I can give you is work that will last ten, twenty, thirty years. And that kind of work takes time. So if you can, I’d like for you to try tuning in to the time spent waiting for something of the highest quality to arrive. Enjoy the sensation as it builds. When the moment comes, our wave will crest super fucking high. I can tell you, this new thing, it’s got its own colours now. If you know anything about my work, you’ll know what that means. I knew I needed a break from touring at the end of the last cycle. I was finding the combination of brutal stage fright and having no fixed home and no connection with what I ate or where I lived extremely grim. I needed to make some food, grow some stuff, go to the beach a bunch, finally acknowledge (and kick) my social media addiction. I wasn’t sure if I’d tour again for a long time. And I still don’t know what touring is gonna look like for me, sensitive sweet pea plant that I am. But I know now how excited I am to get back out there. I want to be playing festivals again — hearing my intro music, watching the band walk onstage. I want to devastate. I want to see a huge line of you outside my hotel. I want to hug you all, and hold your hands. I want to do interviews, talk about the record over and over until I know it inside out. I want to do photoshoots, make videos. I want to eat summer foods in beautiful countries — ice cream and tomatoes and anchovies. I want to use my gift, and watch it grow. Who knows when it’ll be safe to do those things, but I’m craving them, and I wanted you to know. One of my favourite things about when we meet is the hug we almost always share. You say, “Can I hug you?” in a wavering voice, and I reach out my arms and hold you close for 10 or 15 seconds. Our hands rest on each others’ backs. In those few seconds I can feel all the love and care you have for my work, all the time you’ve spent listening and watching and decoding. And you can feel how deeply I care about you, how hard I try to make everything perfect so that I meet your hopes where they are. When it’s safe, I can’t wait to hug you again. The work is so fucking good, my friend. I am truly jazzed for you to hear it. Okay, that’s all for now. It’s mid afternoon, and really warm. I’m going to put on my new shirt and walk down to the water. Fish and fennel salad for dinner. I hope this finds you well. L xxxxxx

[daveysexual]

i’m taking a break from tumblr for a few days, love u all.

[ener-chi]

My practice has always been kind of like a game of hot and cold. If I’m supposed to be focusing on something, my energy will be drained and I will feel like shit for everything that I do except for the thing that I am supposed to do. For example, when I get the urge to do readings, I do them for a while. But when the Universe wants me to move on and do something else, suddenly doing readings takes up a lot of energy, and is almost painful for me to do them, and this continues until I move on. This is how my practice is guided, from doing readings, spirit work, energy work, or if I even need a break.

So why do I bring this up? Well... if I’m being honest... I’ve kind of fallen off the wagon for a while, in terms of my practice and my Path. I’m not really sure what happened, but ever since February... things just haven’t really been the same. I’ve been like, distracted. Sure, I’ve done some things in my practice off and on, but... something has been pulling me away from it. 

And I’ve been urged to go back. I feel like shit, and my energy is low, and I don’t feel good mentally, until I come back to my practice. But for some reason I keep leaving, falling off again, drifting away... and each time, I feel worse and worse. 

Well. I think last night I finally got the message. I need to focus on my Path. This is what I need to do. I need to stop being so distracted, and choose to practice again.

I did some stretches, and I felt my body pulling me towards my meditation cushion, which I haven’t touched in months. I did some Qigong for the first time in a long time, which I hate to admit, but it’s true. Throughout the session, I literally felt my energy moving, clearing, and getting unstuck, and my body was reacting physically in different ways; my nose got stuffed up and then started draining; my body itself suddenly got very hot and I started to sweat, even though my room is cold; I had sensations throughout my arms as I felt the energy move down it.

I decided to do a reading with my Kuan-Yin oracle deck, which again, I haven’t used in months. The moment I held them in my hands, I felt our energy connect, and it felt really good. Like... I felt energy coming out of the deck and into me, and it felt like it was telling me that it missed me. I did a reading for myself, and as always, it resonated. 

Now... everything is so weird?? Like... you know when you go on a vacation, for like a couple of weeks, and when you come back home, you’re home, but it feels so weird? Like it’s the same place you’ve been in before, but it’s different somehow. That’s how I feel now... with everything... my energy is doing some really weird things... 

Anyways, that’s why I haven’t really been super active with my blog. I’m not sure why, but things have been off for me for a while now. But... hopefully this is things finally turning around, and getting back into it. 

In other news... last night I had my first experience with Deities/Gods!

It was in a dream. The dream is super hazy to me; but in the dream, I was talking to a Deity, and I think I was working with them too. I don’t remember which God it was, but I do remember that they were female; a goddess. It felt like I was talking to another spirit, but they were much larger physically, and very powerful energetically. She was cool and collected and casual, but her power was immense and she knew it. 

I’ve always been agnostic as to my beliefs on Deities/The Gods; I have some theories pertaining to them, but ultimately I’ve never had any experiences directly with them, so I literally did not have enough of anything to have any beliefs about them; hence the agnosticism. Now, I still don’t have enough to constitute a belief, but if I continue seeing this Goddess... who knows. Honestly, I’m down. If they want to keep communicating with me, I’m open to it.

This evening I spoke with an exchange student from China, and besides other school stuff, I asked him many, many questions about Chinese Medicine, and its’ prevalence in China. It’s very interesting; I learned a lot, about how things are run. I was always curious how much Western Medicine they used in hospitals and stuff, because Western Medicine does have some advantages. It turns out that they use Chinese Medicine for the most part; it’s much more prevalent than I thought it was. I asked which they used for a broken ankle, and he said “Oh, Chinese Medicine, definitely” which was a big surprise. He then went and showed me this like bandage/patch that, assuming it isn’t a really bad break, they put on the ankle, which heals them in a couple of weeks. The patch has a salve on it with Chinese herbs. SUPER COOOLL holy shit I had no idea that they did that. Anyways, apparently for most things they offer herbs, which I am glad that I am going to be studying herbs when I go to school for it.

Alright, that’s it for now. I’m quite tired; I have a lot of sleeping to do tonight. I hope that everyone sleeps well.

Blessings!

[brianajungwirthinstagram]

🌊

5.19.2020

[raicheu]

We've been looking at new houses to move into and they're outside of my home city. I often think about how you're only two neighborhood streets from me. I think about all the possibilities that we might bump into each other. I think about you a lot and wonder if you are the same. Someday, will you regret you let me go? Will all the songs about heartache be seen through by letter? I dont know how I still think about you so much and it's been so long. Im afraid of saying goodbye to us even though we ended long ago. I'm scared of losing all the memories and what you mean to me. If I could have things my way, I would never let you go. But, you let me go. You told me you didn't want to be with me, that you couldn't see tomorrow with me in it. How can I settle for the best when you're at your worst? How can I look at you with love when I know you don't want to love me anymore? I think letting you go is not the hardest part, but sorting through the conclusion of us where it wasnt really clear. Someday, you'll also be out of hometown. You'll meet a girl when you are 23 and you'll see how gorgeous she is. Her maturity and kindness will remind you of me, but you'll see her as her. You'll move on, just like how you want. Your memory of us will just be that of a child's, remembering where we constantly went wrong, where it would've gone wrong eventually, that the possibility that seemed endless before, had already ended a long time ago. All that's left are unfinished memories, buried and tattered by rain and mud in all the places that whisper our names, that speak softly of our love. A ghost of us closing the doors we thought we would always keep open. Someday, I won't live in this house anymore. I won't have the memory of me making you eggs, you sleeping under my bed, when we danced in my living room, and when we would nap together and I'd just stare at your face and rub your sweaty hands on my cheeks, whispering a thousand "I love yous"...

- one of infinity | may nineteenth, two-thousand twenty | one fifty-two a.m.

[avi-arts]

Day 1230: 

5.19.20 

hhhhhhhhh

[illuminatedpopcorn]

6 bags. Tue, May 19

[brianajungwirththrowbacks]

May 19, 2020

Briana on her Instagram story!

[bloodymentalinnit]

redownloaded instagram for a single day, worked up the courage to post to my story, randomly texted a few friends to share some things from my day, and all of this made me so anxious i deleted the app again. have concluded i will never share anything again for the next 5-7 business years. when did i become like this

[chunky-heels]

[beingallelite]

x

[fear-not-beloved]

Criticism is easy. What's rare and beautiful is a person eager to notice the good and communicate with kindness.

Let’s be rare.

// Lysa TerKeurst

[lordeellaofficial]

One of my favourite things about when we meet is the hug we almost always share. You say, “Can I hug you?” in a wavering voice, and I reach out my arms and hold you close for 10 or 15 seconds. Our hands rest on each others’ backs. In those few seconds I can feel all the love and care you have for my work, all the time you’ve spent listening and watching and decoding. And you can feel how deeply I care about you, how hard I try to make everything perfect so that I meet your hopes where they are. When it’s safe, I can’t wait to hug you again.

an email from ella - 5.19.20

[brianajungwirthinstagram]

B via insta stories

5.19.2020