#reconnected with some girls i used to play games with :3 we played all day yesterday!

[guubiiz]

have exams this week 😔

[zerokurokawa]

hiii💗 i read some of your works and i can say that you’re really amazing at writing and i have one request to you to make fic or head canon (you decide) where bonten haitani brothers (which one you decide) accidentally have a daughter from their ex-girlfriend (who they had been together for long time) they don’t knew about anything because they were broke up for 17-18 years and she’s been living with her daughter in another country and after they come back they accidentally met each other and how would their reaction would be? how would they treat her?…

ill be honest i’ve read so many fics that was written topics like that but none of them we actually enough interesting… so ty for attention and good luck💗

Daughter From Another Lifetime | Bonten!Rindou x Reader <3

Once he found out that he had a daughter from your previous relationship, he would try to reconnect with you. He was shocked at first, seeing your daughter walk through the doors of his office, asking for him directly by name. 

"Hi, uhm... I'm d/n Haitani... I'm looking for my father, Rindou Haitani..." Your daughter would trail off, stumbling over her words as she tried to speak properly. She was intimidated by the office and the security guards. When he heard his name and saw a sweet girl come through the doors that looked just like him, he instantly knew that she was his. 

While taking her out to eat for lunch, Rindou began to ask questions about you. 

"How is your mother? I haven't heard from her since she... left me." He would ask, seemingly sad. 

"She's doing okay, she told me all about you and I've always wanted to meet you, so I came and found you!" She exclaimed, taking a bite of her food that she greatly appreciated. She was excited to of finally met her real dad after all these years. 

"Will you tell her I need to speak with her, d/n?" He asked nervously, not even touching the food that he ordered. He didn't have an appetite, for he had just found out that he had a child with the love of his life from many years ago. 

"I'd love to, dad!" Hearing her call him dad was what made his heart instantly melt. He decided right then and there that he was taking the rest of the day off to get to know his daughter. Rindou would take her shopping and buy her new clothes, shoes, and even took her to the arcade that he used to go to when he was younger. He enjoyed watching her play the same games he used to play. 

Thoughts ran through his head as he watched his child smile and have fun; like what would happen if he tried to reconcile with you? What could he do to win you back? He wanted this, he wanted a family. Seeing his perfect little girl made him want and miss you even more than he already did. 

Eventually, it was time for her to head back to you. Rindou made it a point to take your daughter home, hoping you would talk to him at least. Once they arrived at your apartment, Rindou got out of the car and walked d/n to the front door. He knocked nervously, straightening his suit and fixing his hair, trying to look as pleasing to the eye as possible. 

You answered the door and your eyes went wide. 

"D/n, where have you been all day?" You asked, gesturing for her to come inside while staring at Rindou, who was standing quietly in front of you with a slight smile on his face. He was trying to not seem upset or shocked. All these years, he knew you resented him for being involved with gangs, violence, drugs, and dirty money.  That's the reason you two broke up in the first place years ago - because he wouldn't let that lifestyle go. You ended up having to let him go instead. 

"Y/n, can we talk?" He finally spoke up. 

"Come in." You said with a stern voice. 

You sent d/n to her room while you and Rindou sat at the counter in your apartment. 

"It's been 17 years since we broke up, yet you never told me I had a daughter." He started the conversation, cutting to the chase. 

"We were kids, I didn't think you were ready to be a father. Plus, I was scared because of all of the things you were involved with." You went on, taking a sip of a glass of well needed wine. 

"You were pregnant, and you didn't even bother to tell me..." He trailed off, "Did you really not trust me to be around OUR child?" 

"I just told you exactly what went wrong. You never listened to me, not even once." You put the glass down and stared at him. 

"Y/n, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not listening and I'm sorry for everything that I've done that caused you to leave. But keeping my daughter a secret from me breaks my heart. I've only been around her one day and I already love her. Please..." He stammered with his words, trying not to tear up at the thought of you not wanting him around. 

"Please what, Rindou?" 

"Please, let me be there for her. I can support you both. You'll never have to work and she'll never have to go without. I have money, tons of money-" You interrupted him quickly. 

"Dirty money that you got from doing bad things, Rin." You said, assertively. 

"Please, I'm begging you. I can keep you both away from all of this. I can keep you both safe and sound. You'll never hear or see any of the things I do. I just want my family." He was begging at this point. 

"I'll consider it on one condition." You said after a moment of silence. 

"Anything." He sat up straight, ready to take on whatever conditions you threw at him. 

"You have to promise to be the best father you can possibly be to her. Meaning, you choose her over anything - your job, your money, everything." 

"I promise." He said, without a single doubt or hesitation in his voice. He wanted this and wanted you more than anything in the entire world. 

(A/N: I may make a part two to this if you like it! I enjoyed writing this.)

Update: Part Two

[kimmiessimmies]

Make this night count...

"Look at all the colours! Isn't it pretty, James?"

"Very. The view is great from up here."

"It was a good idea to book this room for tonight."

"I'm full of good ideas."

"We have made things difficult for her this year, haven't we, James?"

"For whom, lovely?"

"Our author. This. Us. It was never part of her plan, was it?"

"No, but, haven't we also made things great for her?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Well, we've made things great for us, either way, Sade."

"Cheers to that, lovely."

"Sade..."

"Hmm...?"

"You wouldn't let me kiss you under the mistletoe because of where it might lead, but... since we're here now... Will you let me kiss you for New Year's?"

"Umm... No, I don't think so...

"Oh... Sorry..."

"I'm not going to let you kiss me for New Year's, James, because I'm going to kiss you first."

"Wha..."

"Happy New Year, you."

"Happy New Year, my girl..."

......

....

...

"James?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think she'll let us be together in the new year?"

"We'll have to see, love... Let's make this night count while we're here..."

My dear followers,

This year has been very... intense... for me. I already wrote a long post about my mental health struggles, which put a huge stamp on my year. However, 2023 will also forever be the year I went back to my Sims, back to my stories, and back to Tumblr.

I spent five years away. Both because real life took over and because I had gotten into a rut with my Sims and the story. I never forgot them, though, and never stopped loving them. And suddenly, somewhere in February, it clicked. Everything fell into place, and I knew where I wanted to go with it all. In fact, it was this boy up here, my dearest James, who pulled me back. His story was suddenly clear as day to me. But how to begin? So, in March, I decided to just start writing. Then, I dusted off my game, found that all shortcuts and cheats were apparently in my muscle memory, and started shooting pictures to go with what I had written. And once I got going, I didn't stop. Everything I wrote in 2023 (and that's a lot!) even if it seemed unrelated, was geared towards James's story and the big moment that still lies ahead. However... As I've emphasised several times by now, I didn't account for this girl... So now it's like James said, "We'll have to see."

Coming back to my story brought me so much this year; I went from gameplay-based to story-based and found out how much I truly LOVE writing and how much it helps me, especially now that I'm going through rough times. Encouraged and inspired by someone dear to me, my story gained a title and came to Tumblr in full. I learnt to not only accept the benefits of poses, but how incredibly enhancing they can be to bring my ideas to life when used right. I reconnected with old contacts and made new connections too, some of whom proved to be true friends outside of this Tumblr/Sims world too. I've loved getting caught up on the stories I used to follow and discovering new ones. I've been amazed at how good CC has become in five years and pleasantly surprised to see there's still a good crowd playing TS3 in addition to the great things some of you are doing with TS4. All of this has been bright spots in my darkness.

And now we're entering 2024. I hope it will be light and bright for all of us. May the good days outnumber the bad ones and may we continue to feel the joy these little pixel-people bring us. Happy New Year to you and yours.

Much love. ❤️

-Kim

P.s. I know, I know; Some of you are now very disappointed you didn't get to see James and Sadie "making the night count." Just for all of you filthy animals I have one more post in this non-canon series set to go. Be forewarned; this one is very NSFW (And Not Suitable To View At New Year's Parties With Lots Of People Around) and will be labelled mature. I also have a sneaking suspicion it'll take Tumblr about 3 seconds to take it down, so I have an alternative post with Pillowfort link waiting in the wings. Going live as the the New Year hits where I am, at midnight GMT+1. See them making the night count by clicking here!

[purplemageddom]

Pls ignore, just some shower thoughts here.

I think I know why I have trouble making close friends now. To me, friends come and goes like flowers bloom then dies out. They don't last very long.

I made friends with a kid in kindergarten cause he was the first to talk to me. Even when other kids demand I stop playing with him so that I can join their group, I denied. I then watch as we go primary school and he completely ignore me to play with the other boys. (1)

In primary, I met another boy who I sit next to. We would play in the bicycle parking and pretend we were in a large maze. Even when other kids kept saying weird stuff about us and calling us lover dove. I then move to the city and never meet him again. (2)

In the city, I made friends with the girl next door. We would pretend we were actual siblings and play pretend and dance all day long. One day I suggest that I should go first on a game and ask why she never go to my house to play, we argued and she never answer my call at her door again. (3)

After a couple of years, a new neighbor move in. They had twins and the kids would ride bicycle all over my front door, leaving dirty tire tracks then screams and laughs loudly. I tried to tell them off and make friends with them in the process. They ask me to meet them at an empty area near our house to play badminton and I agreed. When I arrive, they swarmed and beat me with their badminton rack. I grabbed my racket and swing as hard as I can against the side of one kid's head and ran away(my parents used to participate in badminton competitions for their company so they taught me and my brother how to play). They never come over to my house again. (5)

In the new primary school, I meet a girl who seems to always brighten up whenever she see me. She would always ask to walk with me after school. Then my birthday came and she didn't show up. The next day I go to school to ask her why and she said that she felt guilty and that the only reason she made friends with me is because she sees that I have allowance and use me to buy her things. She said that she was moved that I cared so much about her and that she won't do that again and ask to be my real friend. I agreed but could never see her in the same light again. Ultimately, I avoided her for the rest of the school year. (6)

The year after, I met a girl. A loud and bold one. She would make me do things that I don't like and say embarrassing things about me. It didn't last long as on the last day of primary school, she pushed me down the stairs. I ran up the stair into class and threw a small plastic chair in her face. (7)

In the same year, a girl approached me and ask me for help delivering food to school(her mother sells breakfast food and my house was close to her). I agreed. She then call on me everytime she needs something like needing to cheat on some tests, needing to wake up at 5am to help her make food and shove food into my backpack cause there weren't enough bags. Needing me to design a poster for her breakfast food place for free. I cut ties with her not too long after. (8)

Secondary school, the teacher separated the class into small groups and I met 2 girls. A bold one and a quiet one. The bold one would always ask me to help her cheat on tests and skip classes with her. She scammed me almost 117 USD by the end of secondary school(my entire saving plus lucky money from primary to secondary school). The quiet one was kind but would never do anything she deemed too bold. Like going out to eat even though I offed to pay for her. I would go to her house and we would then vibe over Fairy Tail and Genshin Impact. We're still somewhat friends but I don't know for how long. Eversince we went to uni(different school btw), we haven't talk that much. I see her on her tiktok and facebook page and she did a 180°. She's now bolder and so much happier than before. I'm afraid that I will just hold her back if I reconnect with her. (10)

At the same time, I met 2 person online. Person one would always gusts about my cartoony artstyle at the time and say that I am brave for showing my drawings instead of just drawing anime like everyone else. I know person 1 meant well but it just seems like an insult at the time. We did become close but then I get jealous because they made a public post about who inspired them to become a cartoonist. I was not one of the people they listed even though they would always say it was me in private chat. That ended up with me blowing up and saying bad things to them and blocking them off. Person 2, who was also a fan of my artstyle at the time, was caught in the crossfire and the moment they showed that they like a different artist, I blocked them. You two are not on this site but I would like to apologize for my actions. It just feels like gaslight whenever you two praise me.(12)

In highschool, I meet a girl who is more like me than I thought. She's an artist, loves games and anime and somewhat socially awkward. That is until I found out that I'm depressed and try to keep a distance between us so I don't repeat my mistake like with person 1 and 2. (13)

I have been keeping friends at an arm's length eversince. I haven't try to make friends now that I'm in uni, even though this is the most important time to make connections. It's all going down hill from here. I have been more and more depressed to the point the praise "Die" or "kms" have become normal everyday talk.

...

I forgot where I was going.

[so-bitya]

OK so I want to share some self-indulgent ideas of Otona!! because what i missed the most while watching was the friendship between all the girls?? Teamwork makes the Dream work yes?? So here's some episode ideas i thought of <3:

a switch between Karen's and Kurumis relationship, that instead of Kurumi looking to Karen to get spoiled, it's the other way around. Kurumi shows up to help Karen reorganize her life (she's a slob after living alone) and helps her take it easy a bit.

komachi and urara have a misunderstanding that the both of them are enjoying their success! that they're super happy, thus feel ashamed that they aren't in comparison. a down to earth convo between them about the pressure to keep succeeding

kurumi and urara dealing workplace harassment???? (still not over that director sorry <3) that standing up for yourself is even scarier as an adult because the consequences are so much more dire?

more stuff with the time plot? that some of the girls, like urara and komachi, want to cling to the past, so their using their abilities to escape reality? While rin and karen don't even want to be precures anymore, because of they prefer their adult lives and want to avoid confronting the past?

Something with the boys as well? Coco's insecurities as a king and inability to live his life is weighing him down (him becoming a teacher again, Kurumi as prime minister pipeline). Show how Nuts has changed from the past, being less prickly and cold and more open with his feelings. him lowkey missing the girls too and the shenanigans they got to in the past?

would have loved a Rin and Komachi episode. They didn't really hang in the previous shows and it would be a nice development of "we became better friends once we grew older" like Rin showing up to Komachi's house to jog in the morning and finding a hobby together. Which helps Rin to relax and take her mind of work for a while...

RIn and Nozomi's relationship hits a rut, not used to how different they are older and ideals wise, only to support each other in the end no matter how different they are now they'll always be there for each other.

Karen being upset that it turns out the girls have been meeting up on discord, (she misunderstood because it was only for games at first, something she didn't have time for) but finds out how much they ask about her well being and talk about the group being together. She also joins them that night for the first time to play amoungus or somethin

kurumi fights with nozomi again, finding her too childish even as an adult, especially regarding their different jobs. She's a fancy secretary and nozomi teaches primary, only to reveal she's actually very jealous how nozomi loves her job and how fulfilling her work is. Nozomi helps Kurumi find a new dream? that you don't have to stick to one for ever?

regardless how the romance turns out, make it like after a low point (like after nozomi has a fight with coco?) that the girls show up for a big drinking party at her house, all complaining about their lives, and have a great night out, only to wake with hangover the next day and whine that they're not as young as they used to be.

would have loved a sort of mid finale episode? where Urara has distanced herself from the girls assumedly because of her success, but because she was so gloomy about her work. Have Syrup be the only one keeping in contact with her?? because he can fly and can keep up with her job moving her constantly? and he's the one to reconnect her with the girls, and they all show up and support her, the episode ending with all the girls together finally, listening to her new song at the play.

And because the girls transform and fight at the play's premiere!! Precure's comeback is nationally watched and people root for them again (and negatively rely on them to solve all their problems??) AND Nagisa and Honoka get in touch with them again, because they saw them live on TV instead of appearing out of nowhere??? (Nagisa, Honoka, and Hikaru adult designs pls!!!)

feel free to add any more ideas yall!

[thebigshotman]

People from Spaul’s Big Shot Days: Cordelia

Cordelia was Spamton’s girlfriend during most of his time as a big shot, and although they were never “THE hottest couple!!” or anything like that, they still had a following and people thought they were cute together. A salesman dating one of his commercial models? How adorable! Or so they said back in 1997.

Cordelia is a Darkner with a lime green tint to her body, which has stereotypical “model” proportions (but definitely not as raunchy as the girls you see in those “play now my lord” banner ads 🙄), and a purple dress with simple textures. Her hair is pitch black and is made up of TV and computer cords, hence her name. If forced to FIGHT she can use them to zap her targets, but she would much rather ACT and try to talk or charm her way out of a situation.

Cordelia came to Spamton’s attention as the one non-self-absorbed model he saw one day at a haircare product commercial shoot. The two began to hang out outside of work, and Spam continued to book her for commercials, with or without Mike’s advice. She continued to agree to hang out with him, sensing how lonely he was and taking pity on him. The resulting relationship was inevitable and furthered Spamton’s becoming a household name…and his Addison’s jealousy.

It really seemed like they would last forever. And for the entire year that was indeed the case! She would join him for press conferences, the occasional photo would surface in magazines of them sharing a Butler Juice at the Color Cafe…the personal affairs of a businessman were never more important than the business itself to Cyber World, but it was an amusing diversion and sweet to see, for sure.

Hell, even at the very beginning of things going downhill in 1998, she was still there for him! Showing concern for his rapidly decreasing sales and offering to help him get rid of what she assumed were speech glitches from stress. But then, slowly, physical changes started happening to Spam (although the worst ones happened after the last phone call): Hair falling out in clumps, skin hardening from silicon to plastic.

At that point, Cordelia realized something had become deeply wrong with Spamton. And between all of that and him becoming increasingly distant, unknowable, and even a little mean to her, she decided to get out while the getting was good.

There was no official breakup, although she tried to leave some hints so it wasn’t so out of nowhere. One day Cordelia was there, the supportive girlfriend to Mr. Big Shot, and the next she had fled with Tenna (more on him to come 😉) to pursue a second life in the Chapter 3 TV World. Having lost both the last caring person in his life and the biggest person responsible for pushing the name Big Shot Autos out there, he completed shut down and locked himself away in the basement to pray to a broken down robot.

The last phone call came not long after. The rest is history.

Some days Cordelia wonders how he’s doing, if he ever got better. She would genuinely hate to see how he is now and feel deeply sympathetic, but wouldn’t get close out of fear for her image as a game show model in this new World being ruined. Besides, she knows her employer hates Spamton, and how he crashed and burned and threatened Tenna’s good name as a game show host.

What would he think if he saw them reconnecting?

*I TOLD YA KRIS, WE DON’T NEED AN YONE!!!

*AND W3 ESPECILLLY D0N’T NEED ANY [[get rid of cable, switch to satellite today!]]!!!!

*…

*…Why did you have to leave me, too?

(Extra dialogue if you choose to talk to Spam in his shop about “FRIENDS” again)

[bisluthq]

Thank you for the advice about my friend! I really appreciate it, and think you're right.

I have been socialising with more people and making some new friends, which has been really good. Though, in general, i'm not particularly social. I mean, i'm not as bad as i was in primary or early high school (because JESUS Christ), but still. I don't have a part-time job, and i generally haven't hung out with people outside of school since year 7 (excluding last year where me and the mentioned friend saw a movie). But, if and when the opportunity presents itself to hang out outside of school hours, I'll definitely take it up.

Anyway, in the midst of all this, something funny/strange happenend. Yesterday I had to walk home, and since there's a chip shop across the road from my bus stop, and since I was feeling pissy about the friend thing, I decided to grab something even though I wasn't that hungry.

When I went in, I ran into this girl from my class (we've spoken a few times but aren't very close. We sit at the same table but so do like 6 other people so😭). Anyway, that day we'd played a game, so we got to talking about that. Then I mentioned that I was walking home, and she offered me a lift. The walk wasn't far, but I accepted anyway because I'm not particularly athletic, and it's a 10-20 minute walk even though it's not all that difficult.

Anyway, that whole interaction made me feel better. It felt like some kind of sign from the universe that things would be okay, and in the moment, I kind of needed it. I think I'll be alright, but obviously, it's still a hard time.

See? That’s awesome!!! That’s something to celebrate!! It hurts A LOT and it’s okay to feel that hurt. It’s okay to be upset. But you’ve got to look on the upside - this is a chance to try new friend groups and extra murals and/or maybe a part-time job out and meet new people. Also depending on where you are and how the subject choices work (I kinda figured UK system based on the college comment and I still lean to that or former Brit colony now with that “years” thing and the chippy lol but you confused me for a bit by saying “grade”) you might be doing subject choices that don’t have your friend in with you and that’s another cool opportunity to make new friends?? I doubt you picked the same 3 so like there must be people who don’t overlap regularly? That’s an in. Just ask for opinions on homework or whatever.

This SUCKS but it’s also a HUGE opportunity for you. You two might reconnect btw but don’t spend time waiting for it. It’s not worth it. Like focus on finding shit that’s making you happy right now - and you’re doing that!!! And it’s awesome!!!

I’ll tell you one more friendship breakup story that hurts more to this day than that girl I was friends with throughout school and into uni and then she “broke up” with me that is similar to your story OR the friendship breakup that in effect was just a breakup because we never kissed or fucked but we dated like we were tooooo close and uncoupling was as hard as any breakup. The MOST HURTFUL one wasn’t those two, which like were for the better for all of us. The MOST HURTFUL one was one of my BEST friends in school (from primary all the way through into uni but we went to separate unis) and we used to actually say like we’re best friends and whatnot and anyway when I came out as bi she just… stopped talking to me. Like she just stopped all communication. She bumped into me once and asked me if I was turned on during sleepovers and I was like “… no???????? WHAT?????” and then she was like “so you’re saying I’m ugly?” and I was like “………. NO??????” Crazy ass homophobic cunt.

Also I made peace with that fact but my house now is in the same area as her parents’ and she had her wedding at her parents’ house so like VERY close to me and actively didn’t invite me (the other friend in the story went; my remaining HS bestie didn’t go but was invited because that friend thinks this girl is homophobic and is on my side and didn’t want to like go there even tho she’s straight af lol but for me she skipped it - they were never that close in school so it was also not a huge snub but it was weird I didn’t land an invite while living up the road from the venue) and her parents and I have the same local as a result obviously and I always worry about bumping into them lol.

anyway THAT’s a bad friendship breakup. Where friends are picking sides and where I genuinely think she’s a huge cunt and she thinks I’m a pervert and stuff. Your friendship breakups and the other two of mine that I mentioned are just opportunities for us all to grow 🤷🏻‍♀️

[creativewritingproject]

The Train (Road) Not Taken

Summer was always an exciting time in India. Summer brought with it hot sweltering heat but along with that came mangoes, no classes, and plenty of time with friends and family. It was a custom for all children to visit their cousins living in other cities and spend a few days with them. This was a time to reconnect with family members, eat summer special delicacies, get pampered by uncles and aunts, and of course the continuous bickering with cousins about who had grown taller over the year.

For the summer after my fifth grade, my mother decided that we go visit her brother in Solapur, a small town in Maharashtra, India. It had been two years since she had seen him and wanted me to spend some time with my maternal cousins. Also, her cousin’s sister had given birth to a baby girl a few months back and I was over the moon as I would be interacting with a baby. And hence the plan was made, we would leave the very next day my school closed for the summer holidays.

Reaching Solapur was a task, a 5-hour bus, an overnight train, and a 2-hour bus again to reach my uncle’s house. We were joined by aunt Reema and her two children, which guaranteed that the journey would be as entertaining as the actual holidays to be spent in Solapur.

Like any other Indian family going to their hometown during the summer, I and my mother packed lots of gifts, homemade sweets, and clothes that could only be bought in big shopping centers in cities for my cousins in Solapur. We started early morning to get the first bus which would take us to the train station, with 3 huge bags we had a lot to take care of. The evening of the previous night, Reema’s aunt had called in to tell us that her husband had fallen sick and would be meeting us directly in Solapur. I felt a bit sad but nevertheless, I was excited about the journey. Unfortunately, mother also ended up losing her glasses the morning we left.

As we reached the hustling train station, I could hear the chatter of many people saying hellos and goodbyes, and the smell of hot Indian milk tea drifted everywhere, porters shouted and sped across platforms. I was tired and sleepy and was practically being dragged by my mother so that we don’t miss that train. Mother was very stressed, handling the three bags on her own, making sure that nothing is out of order. Finally, we made it into the train and now it was time to relax.

Throughout the journey, we played various card games and my mother told me stories of her childhood. Being very tired, we fell asleep instantly. We didn’t realize till breakfast was served the next morning that we had taken the wrong train and were headed to Srirampur instead of Solapur. The breakfast played a key role in our realization, on the train to Solapur the breakfast was the traditional Solapuri Poha but the breakfast served was Idli. And then when we spoke to the people around us, we realized that mother had made the mistake of reading Srirampur as Solapur because her glasses not being there.

After laughing over, it for a while mother figured out that we could visit her cousin’s brother who lived in Srirampur for a few days before heading back to Solapur, after all, there are a few advantages of having big Indian families.

[jjofalltrades]

Won't go into a big spiel about my burnout since the last two drafts ended up being more dramatically depressing than I cared to share. I almost went with a wildly Backstreet Boys gif to get the ball rolling, but I'll keep this newest update simple. So, let me just bullet point a list to get straight to the point. 1.) Diagnosed with extreme depression, anxiety, hypothyroidism, and ADHD with a new doctor who actually listened to me. Got myself nice and medicated to help fight off all this hormonal imbalance that was really screwing with me emotionally, mentally, and physically. 2.) My best friend and her dogs moved to my state. Even lived with us for a few months. As stressful as that change was, it's been a gift having her near me.

3.) I got hired at this amazing law firm contracted by the government. Not only does it pay better, but I love my co-workers. I'm intellectually challenged, which has done wonders for my confidence and social skills. 4.) My new daily routine allows me to wake up before the sun, eat a proper meal (3x a day), exercise, and sleep throughout the night. Which, who would have figured, has helped me lose some of the weight I'd gained during my darkest days as a stay-at-home-mom. 5.) Pushed myself to finally see a therapist who has helped me face some of the trauma I'd been packing away. 6.) I came out to my very conservative, religious, family. 7.) I planted my own garden! It's not much, mostly herbs, but I'm so damn proud of myself for reconnecting with the earth. It's led me down a more herbalist path. One, that has suddenly become a side business. I get to help heal people in more than one way and that's taught me a lot about who I want to be in the future. 8.) Lost my sister to cancer, recently. Which opened up wounds I hadn't wanted to acknowledge since I left my hometown. I had to face all that in the long car rides back there. Nothing shows you how much you've grown like stepping back into the past. 9.) The sudden death of one sister allowed me the opportunity to repair the relationship with our other sister. After admitting the awkwardness of showing affection, she voluntarily hugged me. Even told me she loved me. I don't think we ever did that before. We are planning a road trip soon with just each other, to build a new foundation of sisterhood. 10.) I came back to find a husband who faced his own reality about our marriage. How much he took for granted while I was away. He cooks, cleans, and is the primary parent who tends to all of our needs. We're celebrating our 10 year anniversary this weekend. 11.) I've always had a special relationship with my son, my first born. Unfortunately, I never got the same chance with my daughter. After she was born, I was left untreated with postpartum. I didn't think I'd get another chance to have the mother-daughter relationship I desperately wished for. But, as I've healed, we're closer. She wants to snuggle, play games, and run errands with me. We have a girls day where we spend the day doing whatever we feel like. I can't tell you how much I love her sweet kisses on the cheek and when she tells me she loves me. So, yeah, I dropped off the face of the earth. I would say I regret it, but I think it was necessary. I do plan to continue writing and completing my WIPs. I took the long road but here I am. Hello, again.

[airplanned]

Zelda Trill AU part 3!

It’s absolutely shocking that I’ve never written anything involving Star Trek.  SHOCKING.

So this was really fun and useless.  Enjoy!

***

Part 1

After his unpleasant time in Hylia's presence and his turning down an away mission and his mild sinus infection, Link was very much looking forward to spending some time with people who liked him and appreciated him and weren't about to spread rumors that he was untrustworthy or...or...

She wouldn't say anything about the actual mistakes he'd made.  She couldn't with implicating herself too.  If she took him down, he'd take her down with him.  But it was the things that he hadn't done that concerned him.  She was not above lying.

And he couldn't stop thinking abut her.  Not just Zelda, with her flashing hair and flashing eyes.  But hauntings of Tetra.  Of Sheik.

He'd made the mistake of reconnecting with her once.  He wasn't going to make that same mistake again.  He'd seen how it turns out, how inevitably after too long, people turn on each other.

He needed to spend some time with his short-term friends.  Friends who knew only Link and could pull him out of his own history.

He wasn't the last to arrive at Ruto's quarters for her weekly card game.  Most of his friends were endearingly bad at cards.  He half suspected that they enjoyed losing.  Otherwise they'd find something else to do together.

"Liiiink!" Ruto called.  "You made it!  I was worried, because heard you weren't feeling well."

He flopped into a chair between Yunobo and Russel.  "I've had the worst day.  I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Ruto preened.  Yunobo gave him a concerned look.  "We're all having...what's this again?"

"Andorian barley ale," Groose said, holding up his mug.  In addition to trying out card games every week, the group tried out "drinks from around the galaxy."

"Yeah, that," Yunobo said.  "But we can get you some tea if you want."

Link grinned.  See?  Best friends.

The door chimed and Ruto straightened.  "Oh!  Since Malon couldn't come, I invited the new girl.  Come in!"

Link's blood froze.

And there she was.  All the memories hitting him again like a hammer.

So maybe they weren't the best friends after all.

"Zelda!  You made it!  This is Groose, Yunobo, Link, and Russel.  Everyone, this is Zelda."

There was a chorus of "Hey, Zelda," and she flashed a brilliant smile at them all.  Her eyes met Link's briefly, then swept away without even the slightest hint of  reaction.  Groose popped out of his seat to pull out her chair for her, like a smitten gentleman, and Link thought he might throw up at the lovestruck look on his friend's face.  "Thank you all so much for inviting me."  She beamed up at Groose, and the guy's ears turned red with pleasure.  When he took his seat, he scooted it closer to hers.

Link would have to pull him aside later and make up something horrendous about hooking up with Trills.  Would Groose believe they had spikes?

"I'm actually feeling pretty bad," Link said, half way out of his chair.  "I think I should--"

"You do not feel bad.  You're just shy," Ruto said.  "This is why I didn't tell you a new person was coming."

Rude.

"Anyway, we're playing a game called Ben'tick and we need six people."

Ben'tick.  Of course.

Yunobo slipped a mug of tea in front of him and Russel grabbed his shoulder, pressing him back into his seat.

Zelda sat directly across from him.  Which meant they were going to be partners. 

"Excuse Link.  He's shy."

"You're both Trill," Groose said.  "Do you know each other?"

"There actually is a whole planet full of us," she teased.  Her half smile made his heart hurt.  "We don't all know each other."

"Oh.  Right.  Sorry."

That lie wasn't going to last, especially after their scene in the commander's office.  But he did appreciate it for the moment.  They could pretend they didn't know each other.  He could do that.

Goorse asked, "Have you played before?"

"No.  You'll have to teach me."

Link was ignoring her, so he didn't roll his eyes.  Tetra Hylia was a fiend at Ben'tick.  She'd taught him.  Her eyes caught his again, and her fingernail tapped twice against the table.  Shut up.

"Of course we'll teach you!" Groose said.  He stretched an arm over her chair to lean in and run through the rules.  Her eyebrows puckered in confusion, and she asked a series of simplistic questions.

Tetra would roll into a bar on the outskirts, and flop down into a seat at the highest rolling table, announcing that she was the best player in the quadrant, and proceed to take everyone's currency without a shred of guilt.  Zelda, it seemed, was ready to con everyone.  Not surprising considering Hylia was a champion liar.  Not surprising considering Zelda had a level of innocent cuteness that Tetra couldn't have pulled off.  She held up her hand of cards to show Groose and bated her eyes with her lips slightly parted.

"She'll figure it out as we go," Link said.

"Link's going to be your partner," Ruto explained, gathering up the card to shuffle them.  "Don't worry.  You're in good hands."

"It is good to have a partner you can rely on," she said.  Only Link picked up on the edge in her voice.

"He's good at this game."  Ruto grinned at him.  "If you need it, he'll carry you through.  And he'll kick you if you make a mistake."

That was a good idea.  He aimed a swift kick at her shin.

And missed.  "Ow!" Groose barked.  He glared at Link and retreated to his own seat, pretending that he was pulling in his arms to collect his hand of cards.

Zelda lifted her eyes over her fanned hand and smirked.  He was not going to survive the night.

She folded up her cards and tapped them twice against the table as if neatening them--A signal from a hundred years ago that she had four face cards.

Link sighed.  There was nothing for it.  He found a low number to throw out, letting her take the first hand.

#

Ruto threw down her hand.  "Okay, we have to have a rule where the Trills aren't on a team."

Yunobo said, "Don't the symbionts communicate with an electromagnetic disturbance?  I think they're talking to each other."

"No, it's the tapping," said Russel.  "We always thought the way Link tapped his cards was a tick.  But she does it too.  They're signalling each other."

"No way!" Groose said.  "Zelda would have to have played this before to know any signals."

Everyone groaned.  Ruto rubbed her temple.  "She has played this before.  She's hustling you!"

Groose snapped around to give her a betrayed look. 

She gave him a sympathetic look.  "Link was carrying me most of the time."  Then she gathered all the chips in the pot and pulled them towards her.

"I'm on shift at 0700 tomorrow," Russel said.  "I should get going." 

That effectively ended the night, and as much as Link tried to delay leaving so her wouldn't have to walk with her, Groose unfortunately noticed and shouted after him, "Hey, Fi, you making a move on Ruto?"

The dangers of Ruto thinking that was true outweighed a brief walk in the hallway, so off he went, following awkwardly behind Groose and Zelda as they discussed his recent shore leave.  He went mountain climbing.  Link knew he fell, but Groose made no mention of that.

"I'm down that way," Groose said, pointing down a corridor away from the turbo lift.  "If you wanna..."

Link would have been better off if he'd left Ruto's claiming he'd needed to be somewhere else, headed to the opposite end of the ship.

Zelda laughed.  "No thank you, but that was a good try."

Groose beamed and gave her a thumbs up.

Link didn't have much choice but to fall into step beside her to the turbolift.

"You don't talk a lot, do you?" she said.  The edge in her voice was back, but not nearly as sharp.

"Leave Groose alone," he said.

"Why?  Are you jealous?"  The turbolift arrived and they both stepped aboard.  "Deck 7."

"Deck 5.  He'd not the brightest, but hes my friend, and I don't want him to get hurt."

"Because I'll murder him?  That's really the story you're sticking with?"

Link clenched his teeth.

"Look," she said.  "I didn't pick this assignment.  If I had a choice, I'd stay as far away from you as possible.  But I don't have a choice, and neither do you.  So are we going to make this work and ignore each other like professionals, or are you going to be broody and impossible forever?"

He turned on her.  "This ship is my home.  If you put a toe out of line, if you put anyone here in danger, if you do anything suspicious at all--"

"As if you wouldn't put this ship with everyone you claim to love onboard on course to fly straight into a star while you escape in a shuttle craft like the coward you are--"

The turbolift jerked and shuddered.  The lights flickered, and suddenly they were falling two floors, three.  They grabbed for each other's elbows as the emergency locks activated, hauling them to a stop with a sickening lurch.  For a moment the lights were off, the hum of the ship silent around them, and there was only the harsh sound of her breath and the fierce grip of her fingers on his arms.  The emergency lights came on, low and red, and they straightened away from each other, instantly on alert.

"We've fallen out of warp," she said.

"Fi to ops...Revali come in."

"Hylia to engineering."

"Fi to the bridge...Emergency override: doors open."

The doors did not open.  Zelda tapped at the dark console, before shaking her head and popping it open, immediately pushing her hands into the wires.  "Power's out.  Let me release the door locks."

There was a hiss, and Link crammed his fingertips into the slit between the doors, gritting his teeth and prying them apart.  The floor of Deck 8 was visible about a meter above the floor of the turbo lift.  The hallway was lit with emergency lighting as well.  Link shook out his hands and then cupped them, offering her a foothold and then hefting her up and out.  He hauled himself up after her and went straight to the console on the wall.

"Main power is down.  Some sort of energy spike."  He tapped away as she eased closer to watch over his shoulder.  She was so close that it pricked his neck.  "Propulsion is down.  Engines are running on auxiliary power.  Life support is functioning off the backup systems. And I can't reach anyone."

"What about comms?"

He shook his head.  "I don't know.  They're running on auxiliary power, so they should be functioning.  This is Lt. Fi to all hands."  They both stared vaguely at the floor, waiting for a response.  Link shook his head,  "Why can't we reach anyone?"

"A localized dampening field?"

"Maybe.  I need to get to the bridge."

"Preferably quickly."

"Yeah." He nodded.  "Let's go."

Part 4

[deanwinchesterswitch]

Weekly Fic Recs

Wow! There's barely any angst this week. Some sugary-sweet fluff and a ton of smut. 😏😂

The smut is mostly due to a dear friend who tried to kill us all with her kink bingo run. 🔥🔥🔥 But it was absolutely divine.

Many of these blogs and fics are NSFW-18+. Please honor any requests from a blog regarding no minors and heed the warnings for each fic.

All fics are from the SPN fandom unless otherwise noted.

-Drabbles-

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today ~ @thoughtslikeaminefield. Author's Summary: adoptdontshoppets asked: after you posted JIM Morrison/The Doors, now I suggest a drabble where before leaving on a hunt, Dean sings “Love Me Two Times” to his lady. Smut of the actual two times can occur or you can leave it fluffy (do you ever do that lol?)

Zorro ~ @there-must-be-a-lock. Author's Summary: Sub!Dean for wingedcatninja, who requested something inspired by the actual fucking canon quote, “sometimes you just wanna get slapped during sex by a girl wearing a Zorro mask.”

-One-shots-

Take Care of You ~ @imagineteamfreewill. Author's Summary: The reader gets a job at a store and meets the cute security guard, Dean.

Dancing on my Own ~ @waywardaardvark79. Author's Summary: Y/N was an actress on Supernatural, and became close with the boys before her character was killed off. You are attending your last convention and with the help of your best friend Jared, you hope that you are able to confess some long overdue feelings.

Being Neighborly ~ @luci-in-trenchcoats. Author's Summary: The reader is cleaning her gutters one day when her next door neighbor Dean comes over to have a chat…

Rules ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Jensen is strict with his rules and when Y/N breaks them, there are consequences

Halloweenaversary ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Dean and Y/N spend their Halloweens together every year, but year, something is different

Overtime ~ @soaringeag1e. Author's Summary: None (Dean x Reader AU)

Sensations ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Dean and the Reader play a game with some ‘sexy rules’

Laundry Service ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Dean has some messy dreams about the Reader

Free Bunker ~ @deangirl93. Author's Summary: Sam’s away on a case, leaving Dean and Y/N to enjoy some alone time in the bunker.

Did You Know? ~ @winchest09. Author's Summary: Dean Winchester was her best friend, and college roommate. After an afternoon in the library, he finds a book that piques his interest, bringing that home as well as the one needed for his studies. Relentless, the older Winchester doesn’t leave the text alone until an event happens that forces his hand.

Watch The Throne ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Sam finds a way to spend a little time with an old friend in Hell

The Boss ~ @thinkinghardhardlythinking. Author's Summary: Dean Smith CEO AU with Y/N as his secretary

-Series Chapters-

Apple Pie Life 3 ~ @wonder-cole. Author’s Summary: None (Dean x Reader)

Home To You-Twenty-Nine ~ @smol-and-grumpy. Author’s Summary: Dean enlisted in the hopes to help secure enough money for Sam to be able to go to college. Of course he didn’t tell Sam. Why would he? Sam would understand, right? Turns out, Sam didn’t get it, and is giving Dean the silent treatment for over a year. In Dean’s desperation to reconnect with Sam, Dean reaches out to his brother’s best friend. Little does he know that the hurricane named Y/N will turn out to be the reason he wants to stay alive and go back home for.

-MCU-

the things we carry with us ~ @pellucid-constellations. Author's Summary: You were injured on a mission and didn’t tell anyone, leaving your already rocky relationship with Bucky crumbling. Was it really hate he harbored for you, or was it something else?

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 1

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: AHH HIII💓omg im so excited to be writing a new fic!! this fic is gonna be different style than my last one but i hope you guys like it!! honestly, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa is the trio we all needed but never got. so enjoy my take on it ;) also there will be a new taglist for this fic so just lmk if you would like to be added! as always, requests and asks are open! okay enough from me, enjoy xx

•

One: Britney Spears poster

“Hey Y/N, can you grab this last box?” asked Bokuto. You nodded, picking up the box labeled ‘kitchen’ from the back of Bokuto’s car. Today was move-in day for your first off-campus apartment. You were beyond excited to start living with your 3 best friends: Bokuto, Kuroo, and Oikawa. From an outside perspective, your friend group would look chaotic and dysfunctional, and it was, but you wouldn’t trade those 3 idiots for anything.

“Okay that’s the last of it,” you said as you carried the box towards the elevator. You rode up with Bokuto and entered your apartment. Brown boxes covered the floor, music blaring from room to room.

“Oikawa turn it down or else we are gonna get a notice on the first damn day!” yelled Kuroo. You laughed as you heard Oikawa shuffle towards the speaker to lower the volume.

“Okay guys, everyone grab the boxes for their rooms so we can start putting shit away,” you ordered. The 3 stooges stood in front of you.

“Yes ma’am,” they called back, giving you a sarcastic salute. You rolled your eyes and grabbed your first box.

Living with your 3 best friends was something you never really thought would happen. You all had joked about it when you were kids but to have it became a reality was another story. You all grew up together so there was no surprise to how close you all were. You may have all gone to different high schools so college seemed like the perfect way to reconnect.

You and Oikawa shared a room while Kuroo and Bokuto shared the other. You and Oikawa had been glued to the hip since birth. You didn’t have many close ‘girl’ friends so Tooru was the next best thing.

“Jeez how many pairs of tiny sunglasses do you have?” you asked, looking down at the arrangement of color coded sunglasses.

“Well Iwachan got me them so I cherish them,” he explained. You laughed and continued to unpack your things.

Hours passed and your room was finally up to your standards. You went for something simple yet still your style. Kuroo and Bokuto had moved on to organizing the living room.

“OIKAWA!” yelled Kuroo. Oikawa jumped, giving you the ‘oh shit I’m screwed’ look.

“How many times do I have to tell you that the Britney Spears poster does NOT belong in the kitchen?” Kuroo clenched Oikawa’s Britney poster, almost to the point of ripping it.

“Oh so now you don’t like Britney but on the whole car ride here you were singing along-“

“OKAY we don’t need to talk about that,” interrupted Kuroo.

“She’s better than your stupid Periodic Table posters...” mumbled Oikawa. You tried to hold back your laughter.

“Hey you take that back! The Periodic Table of seasonings fits perfectly with the kitchen!” barked Kuroo. Oikawa rolled his eyes, snatching the poster from Kuroo’s hands.

“God you are such a nerd,”

“And you are such a tw-”

“DON’T YOU SAY IT!” Oikawa gave Kuroo the death stare. Their playful bickering was your favorite form of entertainment.

“Sorry sorry...twink” Kuroo ran out of the room and Oikawa was now chasing him.

“GOD DAMN IT KUROO!”

You bursted out laughing as you heard a crash on the floor, assuming that Oikawa was now jumping on Kuroo. Bokuto stood at the doorway of your room with a confused look.

“What happened?”

~

The four of you continued to organize your apartment until nightfall. Once everything was put into place, the boys crashed on the couch and turned on the TV.

“Should I pick up a pizza?” You asked.

“Is that even a question?” joked Bokuto.

“One cheese and one meat-lover?”

The boys nodded enthusiastically. You made the phone call and went to sit on the empty loveseat.

“It’s gonna be about 15 minutes,” you explained. The boys gave you a thumbs up.

“Guys we did it, we’re actually living together,” gushed Oikawa.

“Don’t go and get soft on me now Shitty-kawa,” you laughed. Oikawa turned to you and groaned.

“Y/N you ruin everything damn it. I’m trying to be a good, sentimental friend, and you just-“ you interrupt Oikawa by moving to the couch and jumping on him.

“JESUS Y/N I’M FRAGILE!” He complained as you sat on his lap.

“And you wonder why you’re a piece of shit,” you gave him a sarcastic hug. “But seriously, I’m so happy to be living with you morons. We’ve been dreaming about this forever.”

“Yeah, crazy to think we actually did it,” smiled Kuroo.

“I LOVE YOU GUYS!” yelled Bokuto. You laughed.

“Bring it in guys,” you pulled Kuroo and Bokuto towards you and Oikawa for a tight hug.

“Oh so when Bokuto gets sentimental it’s totally fine...”

“Shut up Shitty-kawa and enjoy the hug.”

~

“Who is coming with me to pick up the pizza?” you asked. Oikawa was asleep on the couch and Bokuto was very invested in the episode of ‘Gilmore Girls’ that was playing.

“I’ll go,” said Kuroo.

“Okay come on then. We’re taking your car,” you snagged Kuroo’s car keys off the counter and ran out the door.

“Y/N-chan there is no way I’m letting you drive my car!” you heard him yell from inside the apartment. You quickly pressed the elevator button and jumped inside. Kuroo’s voice trailed off as the elevator moved down to the first floor. You exited the elevator and thought you had gotten away with driving Kuroo’s car.

“Not so fast Y/N-chan!” Kuroo snuck up behind you, picked you up, and tossed you over his shoulder. He took the keys from your hand and carried you towards the car.

“Tetsurou put me down!” you begged. Kuroo set you down in front of the passenger door.

“If you wanted to win you should have taken the stairs. And I’m driving silly,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes before getting in the car.

You and Kuroo drove until arriving at the pizza place. You waited in the car while he went inside to pay. For some reason, you felt nervous about being alone with Kuroo. You’d been alone with him a million times before, so why was this time any different? Of course, it had nothing to do with the grey sweatpants he was wearing. Or the fact that he drives a stick shift car and his veins popped every time he would shift gears. Or because you have had a crush on him since you were 6-years old. No, that had nothing to do with it.

Kuroo came back, opened the car door, and handed you the pizzas to hold onto. You rested them on your lap as the two of you drove back.

“I’m glad we’re are finally living together,” said Kuroo. You looked at him, the butterflies coming back in your stomach. “All of us I mean of course,” he clarified.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be super fun. Hopefully, we all survive,” you joked. Kuroo chuckled.

“It’ll be fine Y/N-chan,” Kuroo smiled, giving you a pat on the head.

~

When the two of you got back to the apartment, Oikawa had woken up.

“We are watching ‘Mean Girls’!” argued Oikawa. He was practically climbing on Bokuto for the remote.

“We watched ‘Mean Girls’ last time! I wanna watch ‘Unsolved Mysteries’!” said Bokuto. You couldn’t help but laugh at them.

“Everytime we watch ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ you end up calling Akaashi because you get scared!”

“Pizzas here,” you announced. All fighting ceased the minute you said those magic words. You grabbed some paper plates and napkins and watched as each of the boys piled pizza onto their plates. You grabbed yourself two pieces of cheese pizza and went to sit on the loveseat. Kuroo sat next to you while Bokuto and Oikawa sat on the couch.

“I’m picking what we watch,” said Kuroo. He turned on a volleyball game and of course, there were no complaints.

After stuffing all your bellies with pizza, the four of you decided to head to bed. You said goodnight to Bokuto and Kuroo and were now nestled in your bed. Oikawa laid on his bed.

“How was picking up the pizza with Kuroo?” asked Oikawa. You rolled your eyes.

“It was good,” you muttered. Oikawa laughed.

“Still not over that crush yet are you?” he teased. You groaned. Oikawa was the only one who knew about your crush on Kuroo. You let it slip during one of your all-night sleepovers you two would have when you were kids.

“So what if I’m not, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“You know that if you had just told him during high school, you two could be dating by now.”

You sighed.

“I don’t know. I don’t wanna ruin our friendship and he probably doesn’t even like me. I see no good outcome of him knowing,” you explained.

“You’ll never know unless you tell him.” As much as you hated to admit it, Oikawa was right. There was always the 1% chance that Kuroo would like you back. But, the friendship you two had didn’t seem worth risking. You just hoped that living together wouldn’t stir your feelings out of proportion.

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghmusings @vangoghpoets @lilnuances]

[cherryblossomflowers]

An Old Life Meets A New (Pt2)

Pairing: Jensen x Daughter, Danneel x Stepdaughter

Warnings: Slight Cussing, Angst, Fluff, Death Mentioned, Car Accident Mentioned, Anxiety/Depression

Summary: After the recent death of her mother, Harper must adjust to her new life in the Ackles home, this includes a new stepmother, half-siblings, and reconnecting with her father.

A/N: I’ve had many requests to post part 2, so here we go!

*ASK OPEN*

**MAKE SURE TO COMMENT TO BE TAGGED**

Part 1

Chapter 2

While on the highway towards his home, Jensen thought now would be a good time to try and get to know his teenage daughter. He leaned over and tapped her shoulder. Harper jumped a bit and pulled off her headphones.

Jensen smiled and spoke, "Sorry, I didn't realize you were that jumpy. I don't remember you being like that."

Harper shrugged and sat up, figuring Jensen wanted to have a conversation.

Jensen continued, "So I thought we could play a game. It's still about 15 minutes until we get to the house. Maybe this will help us pass the time."

Harper nodded but refused to look towards Jensen.

"So the game is this: I ask any question and you answer, then you ask me a question and I'll answer. Sound good?"

Another nod from Harper.

Jensen smiled, "Okay now, let me think." He looked around before a light bulb went off in his head, "Music. What do you listen to now?"

Harper shrugged and quietly spoke, "Pretty much anything. Rock, Country, Pop, Funk. I don't really like Rap though."

Jensen chuckled, "Yeah Rap isn't my first choice either. I'm shocked you still listen to Country considering you haven't been a country girl in 5 years."

"7. It's been 7 years, Dad," Harper whispered.

Jensen’s eyes widened and he sighed, "I didn't realize it's been that long. Sorry," he cleared his throat, "Your turn. Ask me a question."

Harper looked out the passenger window, "When did you get the truck? Last time I was here you had a Jeep."

"Oh, I got rid of the Jeep. It cost more to fix than to get a new vehicle. And I thought having a truck would be something different," Jensen said while turning off the highway to an exit.

Harper saw the exit and suddenly sat up, "Wait you live like 10 miles from here. Why get off at this exit?"

"Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you that I moved," replied Jensen.

Harper looked over at Jensen, "It's, um, it's your turn by the way."

Jensen nodded, "Hmm. Oh, how about dance? Do you still do ballet?"

Harper rolled her eyes and looked out the window, "I haven't danced since I was a kid. I gave it up about 3 months after not hearing from you anymore."

Jensen looked at Harper, "Don't tell me you quit because of me."

Harper shrugged at him.

Jensen leaned back, "That's such a shame. You were such a beautiful dancer."

"Well, people change. They grow up and find new hobbies and activities I guess."

Jensen sighed, "I'm sorry, Harper."

Harper sighed and shrugged, "My turn. How's Supernatural?"

"Well, it's funny that you mention that. We just wrapped up filming for season 15, the final season."

Harper whipped her head to him, "Wow, I didn't realize you finished it. I thought you would be on the show for years."

Jensen laughed, "Well, we all agreed 15 seasons is a good stopping point."

Harper sat back, "I didn't realize you've been on the show for as long as I've been alive."

"Crazy isn't it? That's how I met your mom you know," replied Jensen with a grin.

Harper smiled, "I know. That was my favorite story she told. You were filming the first episode. She was a make-up artist fresh out of college."

"She added way too much foundation to my face on the first day."

"And she felt so bad because you looked like an Oompa Loompa on camera."

"So I told her I would take her to dinner as a forgiveness."

"And the rest was history," both Jensen and Harper said at the same time.

The looked at each other and started laughing. Tears were running down their faces from how hard they laughed.

Harper chuckled a bit and looked back at Jensen after wiping her eyes, "I haven't laughed that hard in a while."

Jensen smiled at Harper, "You probably won't really like hearing this right now, but you even laugh like her."

The smile immediately fell from Harper's face. She looked out the window again and sighed.

Jensen's smile fell too. He sighed, leaning back into his seat, "I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry."

Harper shook her head, "It's fine. I've just been hearing nothing but that stuff for a week. How I look like her, sound like her, act like her. It kind of hurts now that she's gone."

Jensen laid a hand on Harper's shoulder, "I won't do it anymore. And if I do by accident, you can call me out on it."

Harper turned to Jensen, "Thanks, Dad."

Jensen put his hand back on the wheel and turned into a neighborhood. Harper's jaw hit the ground at the size of the houses.

They were huge! They were at least 3 story homes with a guest house, a pool, and a huge backyard.

The last time Harper was in Austin, Jensen's house was a 2 bedroom, 1 bath small home in the middle of nowhere.

Now he lived in a mansion home!

Jensen pulled into the driveway of one of the homes. The first observation Harper had was the second car in the driveway.

Jensen must've read her mind, "That's Danneel's car."

Harper replied, "Right, I forgot you got married like 10 years ago."

Jensen chuckled, "I'm surprised you forgot considering you were there."

Harper was 5 years old. Jensen had his wedding in New York, and had Harper as his flower girl. Her mom was invited, but she felt weird about going and didn't show up. Danneel welcomed Harper as her stepdaughter, and at the time Harper was happy about the idea.

That was the first and only time Harper had seen Danneel.

With how things are now, Harper didn't feel comfortable being around Danneel. Though she is her stepmother, Harper knows Danneel cannot replace her biological mother.

Jensen put the car in park and shut off the engine, "Before you ask, Danneel is with Genevieve getting their hair and nails done. She won't be home for a few more hours."

Harper nodded, unbuckled her seat belt, and opened the car door. Once she stepped outside, she grabbed her backpack from the floor and shut her door. Jensen got out of the truck and walked to the back of the car.

He reached for Harper's duffel, but Harper beat him to it, grabbing it herself, "I got it."

Jensen nodded to her and walked towards his front door. Harper trailed behind, looking around at the house.

Jensen unlocked the front door and opened it for Harper. She walked inside and again her jaw hit the ground.

She thought the outside was big, but the inside? Holy shit!

Her eyes immediately fell to the open living room. The entire back wall was a window with a back porch and a beautiful view. The bright, royal blue sectional caught her eyes right off the bat. There were small pillows on the ground with two chairs next to 3 acoustic guitars. There also were glass ball lights hanging from the ceiling, and the ceiling had the rafters exposed, which was gorgeous. The artwork on the wall looked locally bought as well.

Jensen walked inside and shut the door behind him. He walked over and saw Harper's jaw on the floor. He laughed and closed her mouth, "You'll catch flies with your mouth open like that."

Harper shook her head and blinked, "Your house is so...big."

Jensen laughed again, "This is just the living room. Come on, let me show you your bedroom."

Harper followed Jensen past the kitchen area and the small bar, up the small set of stairs to a dining table and a fireplace. Past that was another couch with a large flat screen TV mounted on the wall.

A small hallway was to the left of this room. Jensen walked in front of her and opened the door at the end of the hallway. He turned to Harper and nodded his head towards the room.

She walked inside and looked around. Jensen walked in behind her and leaned against the wall. Harper walked up to the bed and dropped her duffel and backpack.

Jensen cleared his throat, "It used to be our guest room, hence the no decorations and the plain bedding. But if you'd like, tomorrow we can go shopping. Maybe even get you some new clothes-"

"I like my clothes," said Harper interrupting him.

Jensen was stunned a bit, "Oh, um. Alright. Well, why don't you unpack and I can make lunch? Are you hungry?"

Harper shook her head, "Not really."

Jensen nodded, "Okay then. Go ahead and unpack, rest up a bit. I'll uh, I'll let you be," and with that, Jensen left.

Harper looked around her new room again and sat down on the bed. Tears filled her eyes almost instantly. She reached into her backpack and pulled out a picture frame wrapped in a scarf, her mother's scarf.

Unwrapping the frame, she set the scarf aside and looked at the photo. It was a picture Harper took of her mother swinging on a rope swing from a tree. The smile on her face, her hair from the wind. She could still hear her mother's laughter.

A single tear fell on the framed picture.

She stared at the photo for a bit. A moment frozen in time. Too bad there weren't more of those.

Harper hugged the picture close to her chest then set it on the nightstand next to her bed. She took a deep breath and sighed. She looked at her bags on the bed and set them on the ground. She took off her combat boots and her jacket from her waist. Afterwards she took her phone from her back pocket and set it on the nightstand as well as her headphones.

She then laid down on the bed and curled into herself, sobbing quietly into the pillow.

------------------------------

Masterlist

My Cherry Blossoms

@mlovesstories​ @chessurkait​ @adorable-minibot​ @desiredposion​ @idksupernatural​ @thevelvetseries​ @spnfamily-j2​ @let-me-luve-you​

[thelifedocumentor]

Nkuley Masemola and his iconic creative expressions

Nkuley Masemola is a multidisciplinary creative who works as a fashion model, DJ and stylist. Nkuley Masemola has modelled for iconic South African fashion brands such as Rich Mnisi, Thebe Magugu and Nao Serati. They also invite the young vibrant youth of Johannesburg to the eccentric scenes of Braamfontein through DJ’ing. With styling that transcends cultural eras and borders, Nkuley translates their experiences of navigating South Africa and the creative culture artistically into their photographs. The success they have garnered since working as a fashion model from the age of 17 is truly inspiring. In this interview we talk about what inspired Nkuley growing up, their artistic journey and the importance of being yourself in order to thrive in the creative industry. 

1. How was it like growing up in Pretoria? 

The funny part is that I didn’t actually grow up in Pretoria, it was more outside of Pretoria than it was Pretoria. I grew up on the outskirts of Pretoria - that’s the farms. Bronkhorstspruit is where I was from. And it was bland - I don’t know any other way to explain it. It was like growing up on a big sheet of white paper. I had to make out myself. It was an experience but it was also really overwhelming because no one there had progressed to anything. It was complicated but also a good learning curve. I always say I would have rather not. I would have rather had a soft life but I guess I see the benefit of growing up like that but it was overwhelming. 

2. What are some unforgettable childhood experiences you believe shaped who you are today? 

When I finally moved to Bronkhorstspruit, after my father passed on, my mom bought herself a huge mirror. I didn’t have friends, I didn’t have anyone. So the only thing I ever did was look into that mirror. I had all my performances there, I had all my interviews, I did everything with that mirror. I just became so self-obsessed, all of my art is self-obsession. Everything is all about me. It’s my self-portrait, it’s music that is about me, everything that is structured in a way that is like self-worship. So I think that particular childhood experience shaped me forever. I got harassed but I never got bullied. I never let anyone bully me. If it happens, I can just avoid it, I’m not gonna stick around. I was always inside the house. I would make up my own stories, live in my head, and wait for the day I move to Jo’burg. When it finally happened, I already had like self-discovered so much. That particular childhood experience shaped who I am today. I created my whole world, and now I’m living in it. 

3. How did you start modelling? 

Back home, there used to be this modelling agency. It was just high school kids who had high-quality cameras, more than it was a modelling agency. They were like, “Yeah you should be a model.” And I was like, “I guess.” It was never my thing. I take really good photos, but I don’t look like a model, I don’t present myself as a model. At that time, I wasn’t the typical male model. And so I was like I’m not a model. That happened and it wasn’t really serious. When I moved to Jo’burg, my friend and I had just come from registering and we were going past Kitcheners and my friend was with their friend. We were all speaking to a guy and he said, “Yeah you can just come back to my place.” We all went back to the place. Then I left my matric certificate at their place and then when I left and went back home, they were like, “You left your stuff here [matric certificate] and also, I saw on Twitter that you might have to drop out of school because you don’t have anywhere to live until March so you can just live with me.” This is the person that I met with a friend because they met on the streets of Braam, literally at the corner of Kitcheners. I lived with that person for 3 months. They literally got me into modelling.

The first day I got here they were like, “You’re a star!”. I was on a music video set, and they needed one guy and I had just moved to Jo’burg and put my bags down. My parents had just dropped me off. I put my bags down and went up to shoot the music video. After that, I had another job. It was quiet for a minute and then my friend asked me to escort them to a casting. Still, I was not in the modelling game, I was just deep in love at the time. So cool, I go to this modelling gig, and then when we get there, my friend doesn’t get picked but they’re choosing from outside. They’re like, “You? Come here.” I said that I’m not here to model what’s happening? They said, “No, just audition quickly.” So I walked and strutted to the wall and then when I came back I got picked. It was The Threaded Man show. After that, everything started picking up, everything just set off. That’s how that happened. I just started modelling after that. Still very weird. 

4. Wow! The Threaded Man was so huge at that time. 

I didn’t even know. I didn’t know who Siya Beyile was. I had just got to Johannesburg. I had no idea who anyone was. So literally getting calls from Rich Mnisi being hey it’s Rich Mnisi. When I found out it was Rich Mnisi I was like OMG! They were shooting for i-D. That is one thing I’ve always dreamt about - I’ve always bought i-D magazines at the taxi ranks. When they said, "You’re 17 you’re gonna shoot for i-D", I was like that’s crazy, that’s crazy. I shot for almost every magazine that I had back at home. In one year, I had Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and i-D. My mom was like, “Aren’t these the magazines that are in your room.?” It was my favourite flex. I didn't even know it’s gonna happen in terms of modelling. I had always imagined being a part of the creative team or like one day when I’m all the way older on the cover of i-D for doing something. But not a whole documentary that is based on us. That’s so crazy, that’s insane. 

4. Which would you say are your favourite fashion collections you have modelled for?

I really enjoyed the Rich Mnisi collections that I modelled for in the first year - I thought I looked really good in zebra print. Thebe Magugu gave me a suit and said “Do what you must with it.” That was really insane for me. Siyababa Atelier’s collection, Rich Mnisi’s collection and Nao Serati’s collection. 

5. The South African creative scene has truly evolved over time, but there’s still so much work to be done. What do you think still needs to be done to move the culture forward? 

I think South Africa needs to stop normalizing things and actually live in them. We need to stop trying to normalize things so much because we are othering them more than we think. We are othering people more than we think. We are regressing more than progressing. If we keep saying “Normalize trans women” - why? They’re women. Women are already normal. You don’t need to normalize women. It’s microaggressions like that. People don’t realize homophobia is just as serious as racism. The same way people are judging you because of your skin colour is the same way you are judging someone for loving someone. I think South Africa would be much better if they just lived in their truth more than trying to be these progressive people. We’ve been through so much, that we should know by now that we can’t risk having another revolution. We’ve revolved too many times. We’ve been traumatized too many times - we don’t need any more trauma. We just need to get that into our heads. We need to let go of the power game. The obsession with power in this country is a hectic obsession - that needs to be let go of. 

6. How do you find the experience of integrating fashion, music and creative direction together to tell a story? 

It comes easily because everything that I do is still self-obsession. Everything that I create is based on me so it’s not that hard. Self-awareness. It’s hard in that term that you know yourself so much that people want to digress you into this way. The only thing hard about it is people not understanding you and wanting to change you and who you are at that point. You already know who you are. Trying to accommodate everyone into your world because I’ve already said I am living in my own world, in my own space. In my own space, there is no need to accommodate other people. I think that’s the hardest part about it. It’s just me finding spaces for people in my world. In terms of navigating it, it’s always been me living out what I wanted to live out. It’s always playing music - when I DJ I play all the music that has registered with me. I’ve always been a Rihanna girl, I’m always going to play Rihanna. I’m always going to have the Rihanna aesthetic - the same way she does it. I’ve been studying Rihanna for the longest time in my life. The same way she does it. The same way she has this creative direction that goes into her music that also goes into her modelling - it’s really insane. That’s what I’ve always done. Rihanna, FKA Twigs, and FAKA do that in the most perfect way ever. That’s my thing. 

7. If you ever feel a creative block during a project, how do you reconnect and channel your energy? 

I like feeling things out. If it doesn’t happen then it’s not gonna happen. I was at a point where I was really depressed last year - I was at my lowest. I had never been that depressed ever in my life before. I told myself that I never want to feel like that ever again. For that to happen, I always have to be honest with myself. I have to know that I can’t do this right now. If I’m gonna go somewhere and I’m like okay you’re gonna have to model today but you don’t have the haircut. You look bad, you’re gonna feel bad and the pictures are going to look bad. So rather, we don’t do it. Rather sacrifice that and put me in a risky position but I’m not going to put something out there that I don’t believe in and don’t feel comfortable with. Being uncomfortable with something that’s seen by so many people is actually kinda crazy. It’s like uploading a picture of your pinky toe that you don’t like. I know people always say embarrassing yourself on the internet is being real, but that is always different for me. My realness is perfection. The real me is the perfect me. 

8. Which creative material inspired you on your overall journey - it could be a book, film, exhibition, art collection - anything really. 

Definitely seeing FAKA. Sitting down, talking to FAKA, and realizing that we have had the same life experiences. When I was 15, when I was a party girl - I still am, FAKA was like, “Oh you host this party called “Umrubisho” and I was like omg we used to host that party and FAKA was like we were always there. It’s so crazy how the Universe aligns like that - that’s insane to me. No one at that point understood what that meant to me but it just means to me my life is fine, I don’t need to worry about a lot of things. Life is just going to progress the way life progresses. I’m just going to get to where I need to get. A moment most pleasing to me was when FAKA was curating a Versace show. That’s so insane. That means anything is possible. That moment for me just sparked up everything. Thebe Magugu winning the LVMH Prize. Rich Mnisi doing Milan Fashion Week. Moments like that for me make anything. Moments like that for me are the most affirming.

9. Which brands and artists would you like to collaborate with in the future? 

I’m not a big fan of Kanye but I really love Yeezy and the direction that it’s taking. As much as I’m working with Adidas, I would love to go deeper into Yeezy like that. Of course, I want to be a FENTY girl so, so, so bad. All the luxury brands - not necessarily as a model but as a muse nonetheless. I would love to be a DIOR girl, I would love to work with YSL but most mostly, I want to be a FENTY girl. 

10. And lastly, which words of advice would you give to artists who aspire to manifest their dreams in this creative industry? 

I would say be yourself. It’s not a joke, really be yourself. Everyone always says this, and it sounds corny all the time but really but it took me at least 2 years to realize, be yourself. Don’t fake it out, be yourself in such a way that even if you are being fake, you’re being fake in a way that is beneficial to you. You’re being fake in a way that is not going to hurt you in the end. You’re doing chaotic things but everything you do must be aligned with you. Everything you do must not come back and bite you. Everything you do must be something that you’ve always wanted to do. Be selfish as much as you can because being selfish just means being yourself and be selfish in ways that will still benefit you. That’s what it has always meant. Just remain yourself because that’s all you’ll have. People will come in and out, but you’re gonna remain with the same person forever - and that’s gonna be you. Take care of yourself, you know what’s good for you, you know what hinders you. You know what you need to do, so just do enough of that to keep yourself going. 

[purplesurveys]

1175

What’s the last vegetable you ate, and when did you eat it?  My dinner had broccoli and bell peppers in it.

What was your last Facebook notification for?  It was Aliyah replying to our comment thread on one of my posts. There wasn’t anything in her comment that was worth replying to anymore, so I just reverted with a Haha react.

What bands have you seen live? Paramore, Coldplay (not super legally), and One Direction.

Tell me an interesting fact about your mother:  She almost became a flight attendant, but she failed the final screening because of her height. I think the idea of her nearly having a completely different career is very interesting.

What do you think is the most important thing to happen to you before the age of 13?  In my case, probably getting my period. I got my first one when I was barely 10.

What were you super against as a young child but aren’t anymore?  Chicken curry. I also hateeeeeeeed Dora the Explorer with a passion, but now I find the show hilarious haha.

What are your plans later today? My work sched this week had been so fucking PACKED, that I want to do nothing but catch up on sleep all weekend. But seeing as I’m a proponent of revenge bedtime procrastination, I also highly doubt I’d let myself fall into a nap (Exhibit A: Me currently taking this survey at 2 AM...) If anything, I’ll probably just continue watching BTS In The Soop and finally start on Season 2 of Bon Voyage.

Are you doing anything exciting this weekend?  Well, it’s the weekend already, so...that ^ I will also have to take Cooper to the vet this Sunday.

Who do you talk to the most? Other than my team at work, Angela. I’ve been extra talkative these days because of our now-mutual excessive love for BTS, that I sometimes feel bad that I keep bombarding her with messages.

What are some things you do regularly that make you feel old?  Talk to my friends who are still in college, especially when they update me about the current happenings in UP that I have absolutely no clue about anymore.

Who is your best guy friend(s)?  I don’t have any best guy friends.

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?  Neither; I’m fine with my tannish skin tone.

If you had a tiny scar on your face, would you get it removed or just keep it?  Keep it; I already do.

Have you had an x-ray in the past year? Nah. My last one had been nearly 5 years ago, when I needed to get my back checked for scoliosis.

Do you think your first love still loves you?  No. And that’s okay. :)

What is something that is “going right” in your life?  EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGGG I am so so happy with my life right now weeeee. I have the job of my dreams – I’m even working with THE ACTUAL K-POP GROUP SLASH PHENOMENON SLASH ICONS BTS for one of the clients I handle FHKDHGKHGFDKGHDKGH, I have the best and most supportive friends in the world, and I am now starting to grow my collection of BTS merch with my hard-earned money. Everything is going abso-fucking-lutely perfectly, and to think I didn’t think I would make it past 2020.

When did you feel ready to start dating?  Middle of high school.

When was the last time your pet bit you? If you don’t have a pet, have you ever been bitten by someone else’s?  I was play fighting with Cooper earlier tonight, and he got a little bit excited and ended up biting my upper lip quite harder than usual. It stung for a while, but it’s okay now.

Where were you the last time you made out?  I think it was my bedroom.

When was the last time you cried tears of joy? Yesterday.

How do you type your sad smileys?  Just this :(

Do you have “decorative hand-towels” that cannot be used in your house?  Nope.

What was the last soda you drank?  Probably the Coke I drank at an org event last year, pre-pandemic, out of sheer thirst. There wasn’t any water being served so I just gulped down the soda and tried to ignore the annoying fizziness. I don’t drink soda.

What was the last thing someone made fun of you for?  I was having a video call session with my workmates this afternoon as a way to end the week on a good note, and I recounted my experience of being locked out of the office while I was in the middle of a presentation for a client, and how I managed to get myself back in.

Have you ever had any type of surgery?  Nope.

Should kids be allowed to get tattoos/piercings without parental consent?  No.

Who was the last person to hit on you?  No one has in a while.

What was the last thing you decided not to do, that you were supposed to?  A deliverable a client asked me to do. It can wait til Monday.

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to tell someone?  Maybe straight up admitting to my mom that she can be hurtful sometimes. It’s hard because she never actually processes things like that and they do nothing but vanish into thin air, even though it takes everything in me to be that honest.

What do you put on hot dogs?  Mayonnaise.

Ever fallen in the shower?  Like once, when I was 10 or 11.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever called someone you care about?  Continued from last night. It was probably ‘bitch.’ Based on what I’ve learned from my mom, I put extra effort in particuarly watching what comes out of my mouth, because I know how words stick.

Do you think that things will get better?  I did, and now it has.

Have you ever legitimately saved a person’s life?  I think I may have. The story is a little triggering though, so I wouldn’t share it.

What’s your favourite book genre?  Doesn’t really count as a genre but I like auto/biographies.

Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?  I’ve felt like it, but I’ve never done it.

Do dogs like you?  Yes, at least for 99.5% of my experiences.

Would you say that you project an air of authority?  In certain circles. But there are some groups where I trust others to lead rather than me.

Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  Nah, because I’ve never seen one. But even if I did, I think I would be too scared to do it hahaha.

Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body)  One. I use it to wash my entire body already.

Have you ever been to one of the great lakes?  No.

Who do you know that had a baby recently?  The son of one of my old college instructors. I believe she had been born in March because that prof recently posted family photos on Facebook that celebrated the baby’s first monthsary.

Do you like Usher’s songs?  Not in particular.

When was the last time you went to a waterpark?  Not a big fan of these as I find them unhygienic haha. The last time must have been...like anywhere between 12-15 years ago.

Have you ever ridden a train? Just once, and I had to go with Jum because I didn’t want to go alone.

What do you eat your French fries with?  Mayonnaise. If there isn’t any available, I’d want the fries to at least be generously sprinkled with salt; otherwise I’d find it too bland.

Do you have family problems?  Nothing blatant, but I know we are more dysfunctional than how we make it out to be.

What’s the last food you ate that was stale?  Pizza. I got two extra large boxes for my birthday last Wednesday and until now we still have some of it around :((( I ate some slices at around 3 AM earlier and they were tough as fuck to chew, hahaha. Still good, though.

How do you like your grilled cheese?  I don’t have grilled cheese sandwiches often. Surprise me.

What is the most challenging meal you have ever cooked?  I don’t cook.

What was your favorite thing to do as a little kid?  I liked watching my cousin play video games; playing outside; and answering my friends’ autograph books (aka my pre-survey days, lol).

Have you ever been close to drowning? Yup but just once. I was swimming and was just about to come up for air when one of my cousins, coming from the bottom of the pool, suddenly started to playfully pull me down. I was nearly out of breath by then and he had a much stronger grip on me, so I struggled for a while and ended up panicking and thrashing around a bit before I was able to wriggle myself free.

Have you ever had a panic attack?  It’s rare that it happens, but when it does it’s really bad and there’s no telling when it would subside.

Do you like doing housework?  Some, and only if I’m in the mood to. If I feel like I have to do it, then I get lazy.

Would you ever get implants?  I considered it before as a teen, back when small-chested girls were still bullied or made fun of on an everyday basis. How fucked up is that? I’m so relieved at how much social media has progressed.

Do you own a robe?  No.

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? I have a younger sister but she’s barely a baby; she’s literally turning 21 this year. Nina.

Do you like crust on pizza or do you cut it off?  I like crust as long as it’s normal crust or stuffed crust. I can’t stand thin crust.

What was the last song you listened to?  Euphoria - credited to BTS, but it’s a Jungkook solo.

Have any of your family members been to jail?  Not blood relatives, but I know of super extended unrelated family members who’ve been to prison. Is there anyone that you feel you still need some closure with?  I don’t think so. Sometimes no closure is closure.

Can you remember when you first learned how to read?  I can’t, actually. All I remember is that I suddenly wanted to read everything by the time I was 5 and asked for nothing but storybooks every Christmas.

What event in your life has transformed your personality the most?  College. Gabie also had a very big influence on me during our relationship.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled?  Yes, but it was because it was already decayed.

Do you still want to be what you wanted to be in elementary school?  No, but I do elements of it in my work so that works out well for me. I wanted to be an author when I was in grade school, and today I regularly write various materials in my job.

What’re some TV shows that you would like to get into?  I just wanna get reconnected with The Crown again. I was already into it but I had to stop watching for a LONG time, because the show had some personal connections to my ex and so it seemed hard to get into the new season without breaking down lol. Now that I’m doing fine, I feel like it’s a good time to revisit the show.

How would you feel if you were drafted for the military?  Won’t happen here, but it’s the kind of situation where I wouldn’t really have a choice and would have to follow.

What is your favorite Queen song?  I don’t have any.

Do you know how to use any foreign currency? What do you mean, use...? Don’t you just use money to pay?? Hahaha or if you mean convert, then yeah I know how to do that with several currencies – US dollar, Korean won, Euro, Japanese yen, and whatever official name the pound has.

Been kissed by someone who you knew was “bad” for you?  Nope.

Ever taken an at-home pregnancy test?  I have not.

When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do?  I usually don’t have plans laid out on weekends these days anymore, so lately it’s all been a matter of winging it and just wanting to make sure that by the end of the day I get to say I made the most out of my free time.

What did you do on your favorite date with a guy/girl?  The time we did museum hopping + Italian dinner, or the one where we had French dinner + jazz bar.

What’s a movie you have seen in the theater more than once?  I never do rewatches for movies still in cinemas.

What is the reason you’re still alive?  I was stubborn and wanted to see if life would get better; I didn’t want to leave my dogs behind; I didn’t want to miss out on how potentially great and exciting my life could end up being; I didn’t want to cause and leave an even bigger emotional rift on my family.

I’m so happy I stayed.

Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom?  Yeah. Not the best decision, and I wouldn’t do it again lol.

Do you ever brush your hair before you go to bed?  Sometimes, so that it doesn’t look like a bird’s nest when I wake up the next day.

Have you ever had a dream about sleeping with a celebrity? (You don’t have to give details.)  I don’t think so. I have definitely imagined it in...other ways, though.

Has anyone ever told you that they needed you? Do you think they meant it?  Both in the superficial and loaded senses, yeah. 

How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about?  I felt kind of like shit, just because I slept for only 1.5 hours – my body automatically wakes me up by a certain time, no matter what time I fell asleep. And also because my back and shoulder muscles were killing me with how sore they felt.

Do you still tell your parents that you love them?  I show it, but I don’t say it. I’m pretty stingy when it comes to that phrase.

Have you ever said “I love you” to someone you weren’t going out with?  Yes? It shouldn’t be limited to people you’re dating? I express it to Anj and Andi all the time.

Have you ever been threatened before?  Sure.

Would you date someone with a physical disability?  Yes.

Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you?  Purely guessing, it’s likely. I’m not updated about her life anymore, though; life has been going on as if she never existed.

The last time you dyed your hair, what color did you dye it?  I’ve never had it dyed.

Think of the last time you went out to eat. Who paid?  I went out by myself, so I paid.

Do you save at least 15 percent of your income?  Yeah. I had a very good saving streak in which I was able to save anywhere around 50-60% every month...and thennnn I became a fan of BTS early this month LOOOOOL so now I’m back to like square three when it comes to my savings haha. Like I still know my limits and when to fucking stop taking out money from my bank account, but I’ve been spending dramatically more than I have been in the last few months.

Do you ever go on Reddit? If so, what are some of your favorite subreddits?  I used to go much more regularly, to the point where it was a part of my daily routine. Now I go at least once a month. I usually check out the Ask Reddit (for anecdotes), Today I Learned (for trivia), and GMM subreddits. Sometimes I’ll get on the Squared Circle subreddit as well to be updated on wrestling.

Were you ever a flower girl or ring bearer in anyone’s wedding when you were little?  Many times as a flower girl, yeah.

Are your parents in good health?  Fortunately, yes.

Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative?  Nope.

Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?  Not that I know of.

Do you have a favorite pair of pajamas? What do they look like?  I don’t have pajama sets since I find them too warm.

Do you have any interesting pillow cases?  Eh, I don’t think so.

If something on your body hurts, which part is it most likely to be?  Shoulder muscles or my lower back.

Are you more afraid of spiders or bees?  Bees.

Have you ever worn fake nails? If so, what did the last pair you wore look like?  No.

Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you?  Native American.

[brokenbuttonsmusic]

Howard Tate: A Philadelphia Soul Resurrection

This post is a near- transcript of the Broken Buttons: Buried Treasure Music podcast (episode 1, side B). Here you’ll find the narration from the segment featuring the great Philadelphia soul singer Howard Tate, along with links, videos, photos and references for the episode.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Anchor or Mixcloud.

Music history is packed with bands and artists that had the talent, the songs and even the fully realized recordings to make it big, only to be passed over. Some miss their window, or worse, some get their big break, but somehow  self-destruct or fail to capitalize on it. It’s the reason why I decided to do this show. There is so much overlooked and under appreciated music out there to be found and enjoyed.

This next artist doesn’t quite hit any of those scenarios exactly though. Howard Tate got his break and made it happen. Howard Tate hit big and he hit fast. Tate said he came home from work one day and a big limousine was sitting in front of his door. 

“You gotta get in here right away. You gotta get a suit. You’re playing with Marvin Gaye tomorrow night.”

Between 1966 and 1970 Howard Tate had six top 40 R&B singles. And then he disappeared. Plunging into obscurity, almost as quickly as he soared within sight of the summit. Tate never completely crossed over. While he regularly appeared on the R&B charts, the highest he ever placed on the Pop charts was #63. 

Let’s start our dive into Tate, by hearing his highest charting single. One of three top 20 R&B hits in his catalog. This is Ain’t Nobody Home by Howard Tate. 

Ain’t Nobody Home by Howard Tate.

Here’s what the Rough Guide to Soul & R&B has to say about that recording and the chemistry of the whole crew who made it happen.

“With a groove laid down by keyboardist Richard Tee, guitarist Cornell Dupree, bassist Chuck Rainey and drummer Herb Lovell, the production of Ain’t Nobody Home by Jerry Ragovoy both borrowed from and influenced the music coming from Memphis and Muscle Shoals, and set the precedent for Atlantic’s first recordings with Aretha Franklin. While the music was great, however, it was Tate’s vocals that made the record. Sounding like a less overwrought Percy Sledge, Tate’s simultaneously Northern and Southern phrasing was impeccable, and economical use of his falsetto made it all the more effective.”

Tate had the voice, which many compared to Sam Cooke and Marvin Gaye. He also had a distinctive gospel-blues delivery that sticks with you for days. But the tunes came from somewhere else.

Before his quick ascent, Tate was singing in a group with Garnet Mimms. Mimms was the original singer of the Janis Joplin hit,  Cry Baby. He also introduced Howard to record producer Jerry Ragovoy, who co-wrote Cry Baby. Ragovoy is known for writing Time is On My Side for the Rolling Stones and another Joplin hit, Piece of My Heart. Clearly Janis liked the songwriting of Jerry Ragovoy. In fact, she also performed this Ragovoy composition that you’ve probably come across at one time or another.

That’s Janis Joplin singing Get It While You Can from her massive second album Pearl in 1971. What you might not know is that Get it While you Can was originally performed by Howard Tate, five years earlier in 1966.

Ragovoy was taken with Tate’s voice and began recording him as a solo artist for Verve Records. Ragovoy’s memorable, punchy Northern soul production paired with Tate’s soulful blues phrasing was a perfect match.

Here’s Howard Tate’s version, the original version, of the Jerry Ragovoy penned Get It While You Can.

That was Howard Tate with Get It While You Can from the 1966 album of the same name.

American rock critic Robert Christgau had this to say about Tate and his collaboration with Jerry Ragovoy.

“Tate is a blues-drenched Macon native who had the desire to head north and sounds it every time he gooses a lament with one of the trademark keens that signify the escape he never achieved. He brought out the best in soul pro Jerry Ragovoy, who made Tate's records jump instead of arranging them into submission, and gave him lyrics with some wit to them besides. In return, Ragovoy brought out the best in Tate.”

Despite the magical team up on early singles and a debut album, Tate recorded his second album without Ragovoy, instead working with Lloyd Price and Johnny Nash. Released in 1969, Howard Tate’s Reaction is more uptown soul than the grittier southern soul of its predecessor, but it’s another recognition worthy collection of performances.

Ragovoy and Tate reunited for 1972’s eponymous Howard Tate. This time an Atlantic release. Critics knock this album as being a notch below Ragovoy’s best songwriting, but I think it’s a worthy piece of Tate’s catalog. Tate sounds great, as always, and there are a couple of really explosive, interesting covers. The Band’s Jemima Surrender and this one.

Bob Dylan’s Girl From the North Country. Listen to this voice.

Howard Tate covering Bob Dylan’s Girl From the North County from 1972.

After recording a handful of additional songs—one single for Epic and a few for his own label—Tate retired from the music business. Frustrated with his lack of crossover, but downright bitter about how little he was paid for his successes, which again, included 3 top 20 R&B hits—he quit. Disappeared, really.

But not everyone was ready to forget. And while his name would fade from memories over the coming decades, Howard Tate’s impact was undeniable.

One of Tate’s heroes, BB King, covered Ain’t Nobody Home. So did Bonnie Raitt.

Ry Cooder and Grand Funk covered Look At Granny Run Run

Jimi Hendrix covered Stop

Foghat covered Eight Days on the Road and so did the one and only queen if soul.

And not everyone forgot. Tate’s old partner, record producer and chief songwriter Jerry Ragovoy made many attempts to track down his old friend over the years. He contacted old business associates and got them in on the search. They all came up empty.

A New Jersey DJ named Phil Casden had developed somewhat of an obsession with Tate’s whereabouts. Casden hosted a weekly radio show, spinning soul, blues and R&B and had taken to asking his listeners for any information about the missing (by this time) cult soul legend.

Even Verve, Tate’s old record company, had given up trying to track down the long retired crooner. The 1995 CD reissue of Tate’s Verve sessions included liner notes that flat out said: Howard Tate is probably dead.

''It wasn't sufficient to leave a story like that open-ended,'' Mr. Casden said. ''I had to find out: 'Is the guy alive? Is he dead?' There had to be something more than, 'He just rode off into the sunset.' ''

In 2001 the mystery was solved. Ron Kennedy, singer of Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes recognized Tate at a grocery store and the old pals played catch up after nearly 30 years. They exchanged numbers. Kennedy put the New Jersey DJ, Casden, in touch with Tate. Casden enthusiastically announced the good news to his listeners and the soul fanatics across the internet. Howard Tate was alive! He even put Tate in touch with a lawyer to help him recoup past royalties from his reissues.

Apparently Tate had quite a loyal following overseas. Eventually, a British journalist reached out to Tate’s old partner-producer Jerry Ragovoy for a reaction. The only problem was, Ragovoy didn’t have a reaction to give because he didn’t know Tate had been found. Ragovoy was elated at the news. After reconnecting with his long lost friend and confirming he was doing well, the next thing on his mind: could Howard Tate still sing?

Before we answer that, let’s answer this: where had Tate been all those years after walking away from the music?

After becoming resentful and disheartened by his missing paydays, Tate decided to go missing himself. He didn’t intentionally go into hiding, he just bailed on the industry that he felt wronged had him.

He worked as a securities dealer with Prudential for a while and then darkness hit. He lost his 13-year-old daughter in a house fire. In 1981, after 20 years, his marriage fell apart. Soon after, Tate unraveled too. He tumbled into drug addiction and lost everything. He lived on the streets for years, struggling to get by and feed his habit. Finally, in the mid 90s, he started to climb out of the hole. He cleaned up and found god. He became a minister and dedicated his life to helping the poor and homeless.

And that brings us up to the moment of his big reunion with Jerry Ragovoy and loyal fans awareness that Howard Tate was alive and well after all those years. But now more than your die hard R&B/soul enthusiasts were interested.

But did he still have that voice? Could Howard still sing?

Uh, yeah. Jerry Ragovoy was stunned at how strong Tate sounded after decades of being out of the game. And he was REALLY out of the game. Howard claims he never sang a note all those years. Not until Jerry approached him about recording a comeback album and got him into the studio. Tate also says he had no clue that Janis, B.B., Jimi, Ry or any of the others had ever covered his songs or took an interest in his music.

Howard and Jerry recorded a new album in 2003. It’s called Rediscovered. And remember that Elvis Costello quote from the intro to this episode? Elvis called Tate the missing link between Jackie Wilson and Al Green. Tate asked Costello to write a song for his new album and he agreed. 

Let’s here that now. From his comeback album, Rediscovered, more than 3 decades in the making, here’s Howard Tate with Either Side of the Same Town, written by Elvis Costello.

That was Either Side of the Same Town from Howard Tate’s first album after 30 hears away from the music business. But not his last.

Tate had quite the victory lap. He made numerous tv, radio and festival appearances in the ten years after his reemergence. He recorded two more studio full lengths and a live album. On December 2nd, 2011, Tate passed away of complications of multiple myeloma and leukemia.

With a superb first act and a spectacular resurrection that led to the near doubling of his recorded output, there’s plenty of Tate music to check out and enjoy.

Other sources for this segment are listed below.

I referenced several NPR features in this episode, including the obituary they did for Tate. 

Deep Southern Soul - This blog did a great post on Howard Tate. Lots of other good stuff here, but they recently announced they are closing up.

Gadfly Online - Another nice write up on Tate and his back story.

New Jersey new feature - The clip of Howard talking is from this segment. They did a feature on Tate’s rediscovery.

Trunkworthy - Post about Tate and his comeback. This site digs into music, movies and TV you might have missed. They also did a post about the Elvis Costello song featured in this episode. Elvis’ version is on The Delivery Man album. 

New York Times Obituary for Howard Tate

The Guardian Obituary for Howard Tate

Billboard Magazine, July 26, 2003 - Article about Howard’s return after 30 years.