#(so yeah. it goes Cordelia➡️Jevil(??)➡️Eileen. lol he’s been through a lot)

[thebigshotman]

People from Spaul’s Big Shot Days: Cordelia

Cordelia was Spamton’s girlfriend during most of his time as a big shot, and although they were never “THE hottest couple!!” or anything like that, they still had a following and people thought they were cute together. A salesman dating one of his commercial models? How adorable! Or so they said back in 1997.

Cordelia is a Darkner with a lime green tint to her body, which has stereotypical “model” proportions (but definitely not as raunchy as the girls you see in those “play now my lord” banner ads 🙄), and a purple dress with simple textures. Her hair is pitch black and is made up of TV and computer cords, hence her name. If forced to FIGHT she can use them to zap her targets, but she would much rather ACT and try to talk or charm her way out of a situation.

Cordelia came to Spamton’s attention as the one non-self-absorbed model he saw one day at a haircare product commercial shoot. The two began to hang out outside of work, and Spam continued to book her for commercials, with or without Mike’s advice. She continued to agree to hang out with him, sensing how lonely he was and taking pity on him. The resulting relationship was inevitable and furthered Spamton’s becoming a household name…and his Addison’s jealousy.

It really seemed like they would last forever. And for the entire year that was indeed the case! She would join him for press conferences, the occasional photo would surface in magazines of them sharing a Butler Juice at the Color Cafe…the personal affairs of a businessman were never more important than the business itself to Cyber World, but it was an amusing diversion and sweet to see, for sure.

Hell, even at the very beginning of things going downhill in 1998, she was still there for him! Showing concern for his rapidly decreasing sales and offering to help him get rid of what she assumed were speech glitches from stress. But then, slowly, physical changes started happening to Spam (although the worst ones happened after the last phone call): Hair falling out in clumps, skin hardening from silicon to plastic.

At that point, Cordelia realized something had become deeply wrong with Spamton. And between all of that and him becoming increasingly distant, unknowable, and even a little mean to her, she decided to get out while the getting was good.

There was no official breakup, although she tried to leave some hints so it wasn’t so out of nowhere. One day Cordelia was there, the supportive girlfriend to Mr. Big Shot, and the next she had fled with Tenna (more on him to come 😉) to pursue a second life in the Chapter 3 TV World. Having lost both the last caring person in his life and the biggest person responsible for pushing the name Big Shot Autos out there, he completed shut down and locked himself away in the basement to pray to a broken down robot.

The last phone call came not long after. The rest is history.

Some days Cordelia wonders how he’s doing, if he ever got better. She would genuinely hate to see how he is now and feel deeply sympathetic, but wouldn’t get close out of fear for her image as a game show model in this new World being ruined. Besides, she knows her employer hates Spamton, and how he crashed and burned and threatened Tenna’s good name as a game show host.

What would he think if he saw them reconnecting?

*I TOLD YA KRIS, WE DON’T NEED AN YONE!!!

*AND W3 ESPECILLLY D0N’T NEED ANY [[get rid of cable, switch to satellite today!]]!!!!

*…

*…Why did you have to leave me, too?

(Extra dialogue if you choose to talk to Spam in his shop about “FRIENDS” again)