#recently rewatched one and cried

[mechanicalrock]

when he thinks he can't hurt me but he brings one ep 17 and one ep 18 to the table

[buttercupshands]

wait a minute

stop.

stop it.

[daddyplasmius]

hand on my stupid heart flashbacks

this is a No One Knows AU & Full Hazmat AU where Danny ended up in the Ghost Zone & didn't go back into the human world initially because he thought he was dead. by the time he realized he is, in fact, at least half alive, he'd already been missing for at least 2 weeks. will probs never finish homsh sorry. i wrote this a couple years ago in a haze & just haven't been able to finish it because i can't replicate the style, which i find is what i love about this fic the most. it wouldn't be the same without it. posting the flashback introsーwhich are meant to be read between chapters/the actual plot, starting after chapter 1ーcuz fuck it. excuse typos & shit, i never properly edited it, as i forgot it existed immediately after i wrote it original description of homsh: Danny Fenton has officially been missing for over a year. Maddie & Jack Fenton refuse to give up on their son. Sick and tired of the police running them in circles, and the case getting colder by the day, the Fentons turn to their last resortーPhantom. 800~ words (full unfinished fic is 20k~)

-

When Danny woke up surrounded by thick, green fog, and couldn’t breathe without swallowing heavy air that was more like water than anything, he was sure he was dead. The portal glowed behind him, illuminating the pitch darkness around him in soft, yellow, warm light.

He almost went back.

Almost.

He was dead. His parents were ghost hunters. They had drilled into his head from the moment he was born that he could never, ever panic in death. That he would accept it. That he would not be scared. So he would be prepared to be brave in the face of death and would not become a ghost.

He panicked. He did not accept it. He was terrified. And so he woke up in the Ghost Zone.

-

Danny went back through the portal when he saw some ectopuses acting… strange. Like they had an idea in their heads. Like they had a plan.

Which was weird, with animal ghosts. He had only been in the Ghost Zoneーmom and dad called it that, he rememberedーfor a couple weeks. Or, he had already been there for two weeks. Or maybe time worked differently and he was there five minutes, or four years orー

The ectopuses went through the portal and, despite everything, Danny went after them.

While he was busy reeling at being home, the ectopuses immediately attacked dad. Danny was horrified. Jack was overwhelmed. Danny stepped in, in a moment fueled by sheer adrenaline and stupidity, snatching a Fenton Thermos™ off a shelf and releasing his shaky invisibility. The ectopuses didn’t stand a chance. And when they were safely in the Thermos, he slowly turned around to dad, ready for the confrontation. Ready for the “what happened to you?” and the “where have you been?” and the “we’ve missed you”.

Dad scrambled to shoot at him.

Danny fled.

His parents didn’t recognize him.

-

The Lunch Lady attacked when Danny was mourning Halloween.

He’d waited all year. He made a costume that summer. He wouldn’t get to go trick or treating with Sam and Tucker this year. Or any year. For the rest of his lifeーor existence. Whatever.

The Lunch Lady appeared in the school and demanded in straight fury, “Who changed the menu?”

Everyone pointed at Sam.

Danny hadn’t known just how powerful ghosts could be. His parents never told him the specifics. Just that they were dangerous.

This ghost grew and her aura hit him like a hurricane, almost physically pushing him back. It was so strong that the students in the Casper High cafeteria seemed to feel it too.

The Lunch Lady was a much harder opponent than the ectopuses. She levitated meat. She used it as a weapon, and seemed to bring it back to life. She created weird meat creatures that grew sharp teeth and claws out of bones. They were mindless, attacking everything that got too close to the ghost. Danny would have run away without hesitation, if Sam hadn’t been in the crossfire.

Danny fought the Lunch Lady. It was a long struggle, but he caught her in the thermos after over an hour. When he turned to Sam and Tuckerーboth of whom he had to save due to Tucker trying to jump into the fightーall three of them bloody and bruised, he cringed. But a part of him hoped. Desperately.

Surely they would know him on sight.

“Wh-what are you?” Sam gasped at him finally.

Danny flinched as if she had struck him. “J-just… your friendly neighbourhood phantom.”

-

Danny didn’t know what possessed him. Oh. Pun not intended.

He just barely caught the Fentons leaving in the GAV, dragging suitcases behind them. He couldn’t help himself. What on Earth were they doing?

They were going to Vlad Master’s mansion for their college reunion.

It was a whole thing. But something was off. Besides all the adults reminiscing about the 80’s.

Danny sensed ghosts immediately but he couldn’t see anything. Unfortunately for him, Vlad could also sense him. It was two days of Danny staying invisible, and Vladーthe halfa? Is that what Danny is?ーtrying to kill Jack. Somehow, Danny managed to fight off Vlad, not turn back, and without the Fentons getting hurt. His secret intact.

VladーPlasmius, also learned about Phantom. And Vlad hated him. The manーghostーwhatever, seemed to only care about one thingーpossession. Of money. Of things. Of people. He was more ghost than Danny had ever seen. Vlad’s obsession was overwhelming.

Danny couldn’t believe someone so much like himself could be so disturbing.

[goodnightmemes]

BONES SENTENCE STARTERS / s06e09 “THE DOCTOR IN THE PHOTO”

❛ I can't imagine going from being a woman to being a mom. ❜

❛ When [name] was born, everything changed in my life-- everything. ❜

❛ Uh-oh. Looks like someone besides this chicken got murdered. ❜

❛ So what's the story, morning glory? ❜

❛ You're behaving strangely, and I'm asking you why. ❜

❛ When you describe people in generalities, like age and size, it fits a lot of people. ❜

❛ It's not like you, to forget things. ❜

❛ Well, I just wondered why someone of that importance could just disappear... so quietly. ❜

❛ "I will show you fear in a handful of dust." T.S. Eliot. We don't actually fear death; we fear that... that no one will notice our absence; that we will disappear without a trace.

❛ You're in a big hurry. You all right? ❜

❛ I, um... I have a lot of questions, that's all. ❜

❛ Burning the midnight oil? ❜

❛ You awake because you're intellectually invigorated or because you're worried? ❜

❛ For something to be objective, it must be separate from the mind, and nothing is separate from the mind -- ergo, ipso facto, Colombo, Oreo. ❜

❛ Ergo, ipso facto, Colombo, Oreo. ❜

❛ Not all of that was real Latin. ❜

❛ If there's no such thing as objectivity, then there's no such thing as measurement, which means that empiricism is meaningless. ❜

❛ That's very strange. ❜

❛ It's like a voice beyond the grave. ❜

❛ She isn't you. She's her and you're you. ❜

❛ I see, you're illustrating the fact that something can sound like something and not actually be that something. ❜

❛ You're giving me way too much credit. ❜

❛ Some people are very adept at keeping their pain hidden. ❜

❛ I'm sorry, I forgot, I forgot to tell you. ❜

❛ Well, usually when a woman doesn't report an assault, it's a domestic. ❜

❛ It's a myth that a person's intentions and desires can be seen in the eyes. ❜

❛ Stop making crazy eyes at my partner here. ❜

❛ I'm sure you've got a reason for not giving them what they wanted. ❜

❛ Why are you spying on me? ❜

❛ Doesn't anybody know me at all? ❜

❛ I think we know you as much as you'll allow. ❜

❛ What do you see? ❜

❛ What do you want me to see? ❜

❛ She's exactly like me. I mean, look, she is me. ❜

❛ You know, I wish you hadn't gotten [name] to come and talk to me. ❜

❛ Come on, I'm a meddlesome kind of a guy. ❜

❛ It was a rational decision. ❜

❛ It's not like you to pick up something that could be evidence. ❜

❛ People assume that when you are alone, you must be lonely. Like most assumptions, it's erroneous. ❜

❛ You seem distracted. ❜

❛ My biggest regret is not accepting what he offered me. ❜

❛ He asked me to look into his eyes, and... although it's not rational, I believe I perceived pain. ❜

❛ Musing out loud. In the years that we've known each other, I've never heard you do that before. ❜

❛ Tell you what. Don't be mentioning that to anybody else but me, okay? 'Cause they'll think you've gone nuts. ❜

❛ Do you think I've gone nuts? ❜

❛ I don't believe in intuition. ❜

❛ What, you think I took this job for the hours and the health benefits? ❜

❛ It's been a long day. I'm tired. ❜

❛ No. No, he's lying. That's not possible. ❜

❛ I don't like it when you two argue. ❜

❛ Thanks for eavesdropping. ❜

❛ Why are you taking this so personally? ❜

❛ I'm just tired. I, um… I haven't slept in a couple of nights. ❜

❛ If I said something like that, she'd rip my head off. ❜

❛ By the power vested in me by the Jeffersonian Institution, I declare you sleep-deprived.

❛ There's a cab waiting to take you home to bed, hmm? ❜

❛ How come I understand every word you say? Always? I don't have that with anybody else. Sometimes I just hear noise. ❜

❛ Come on, let's get you home. ❜

❛ That kind of mindset can be extremely difficult for someone who deals with death on a daily basis. ❜

❛ Over and over again, I've proven to you that I'm good at what I do. So, please, explain to me how it is rational in any way for you to disregard what I say? ❜

❛ So now I'm the one behaving irrationally? So that I can feel something? ❜

❛ You're not alone in this world. ❜

❛ I'd have been good for her. She should have given me a chance. Should have given us the chance. ❜

❛ Well, that's the whole problem with being an empiricist, right? Eventually, you run out of things to measure and smell and count. ❜

❛ There is such a thing as actual truth. ❜

❛ It seems to me you can't trust a brain that can't make up its mind about something as basic as which way is up. ❜

❛ There's no such thing as objectivity. We're all just interpreting signals from the universe and trying to make sense of them. ❜

❛ Following you to a bad part of town and saving your life. You know, the usual. ❜

❛ I'm not her. We're not the same person at all. ❜

❛ I can't prove any of this. But do you still believe me? ❜

❛ Maybe you just need a couple days off. ❜

❛ I'm all right now. Except I...I made a mistake. ❜

❛ Everybody has regrets. ❜

❛ I don't want to have any regrets. ❜

❛ I'm with someone. She's not a consolation prize. I love her. ❜

❛ You know, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, but those are the facts. ❜

❛ I understand. I missed my chance. ❜

❛ My whole world turned upside down. I can adjust. ❜

❛ Do you want me to, uh, to call someone to be with you, or...? ❜

❛ I'm fine alone. ❜

❛ I listened to the universe. I felt something. I'm sad. ❜

❛ That's so much better than dead. Or even dead inside. ❜

❛ I got my own story. Just like you. Just like everybody. I got my own sad story. ❜

❛ Three days. Three days for the world to turn right side up again. ❜

[ao3fujoshevik]

fuckin miss reservation dogs so much

[illiterateaffairs]

breaking point | stiles x reader

masterlist

pairing: stiles stilinski x f!reader (best friend/witch)

word count: 2,589

warnings: brief mention of having a period but one sentence! cursing, angst, kissing (oh my!)

summary: set at the end of 3b. you pride yourself on being the strong one in the pack so your friends don't have to be. but after recent events - watching stiles get possessed, losing allison and aiden - you can't push your feelings away any longer. thankfully, there's a sweet boy outside your window ready to be there for you this time.

author's note: i have so much i can say about the world in which this story lives but don't want to drone on and on...so another note at the end and more to come. hope you enjoy! <3 (and for anyone following me for jamie tartt x reader content...do not give up on me yet!)

You couldn’t remember the last time you cried. 

You think it had to have been when you were a kid. Maybe a scraped knee. Maybe after you had rewatched Bambi for the thousandth time.

What you do remember is the core reason you stopped letting yourself cry. 

Seeing Scott after his parents divorced taught you there were worse things in life than cuts and scrapes. You’ll never forget the look on his face the day his dad moved out. You and Stiles tried every trick in the book to make him smile but it took days for you to see his crooked grin again. 

Though, that was nothing compared to when Stiles lost his mom.

You had never experienced grief like that, that wasn’t a cartoon animal in a movie. It was anyone’s guess why your families let Scott and you attend the funeral, but the three of you were already codependent by eight years old. You were overwhelmed by the sight of seeing your silly, sweet best friend cry so hard, and it was harder to watch his dad fight through his own tears. Even Scott got choked up. But not you. 

Of course, you were just as devastated. Claudia was like a mother to you. But observing the equally upset people trying to comfort young Stiles made you want to be the one person in the room who could just be there for him and let him mourn. Even as a little girl, you had the selfless instinct to put your feelings aside and prioritize your friend’s.

You stay strong so they don’t have to; that became your mantra, even subconsciously. 

No matter what shit you were going through, you swallowed your own fears, pain, and anger so you could be there for whoever needed you. And that decision soon became a part of your programming. Even if no one was around, you never let yourself break, no matter the situation. 

You stopped crying during movies, no matter how depressing. 

The first time you experienced period cramps so bad you had to stay home from school, you just bit your tongue and didn’t shed a tear. 

As you transitioned to middle school school, and into high school, and your feelings for Stiles went from innocent crush to more, you pushed any heartbreak down when he looked right past you at Lydia Martin. 

Admittedly things have gotten harder the last year. Being there when Scott was bitten by a werewolf was startling but you swallowed your fear for him and focused on his well-being. You even held it together when you started learning of your own supernatural abilities and family secrets that changed everything you thought you knew about yourself. In moments of danger and near-death, you focused on making sure Stiles was okay. Making sure Allison was okay. Lydia, Derek, Isaac, even Jackson at times. You were physically incapable of taking a minute to assess how you felt about things, your mind just redirecting to concern for your friends and loved ones. 

There were some close calls. Mainly when it came to Stiles.

The night he played his first lacrosse game with you cheering in the stands ended with Gerard kidnapping and scarring him. The second you saw his face afterwards, you nearly let the damn break. 

It was no surprise that the last few months were particularly challenging. You could hardly stomach watching Stiles, Scott, and Allison nearly sacrifice themselves to save their parents, your hands plunging Stiles into the ice cold water. It was nearly impossible to watch him become the shell of who he was in the weeks following until he wasn’t himself altogether. 

And then Allison…

You felt the loss of Erica and Boyd heavily but you knew Isaac and Derek were taking it harder, so you were there for them. However with Allison…she was one of your best friends and that made it infinitely more difficult to bear. But she was Lydia’s best friend. Scott’s first love. They needed you more than you needed to cope on your own. 

And then, tonight. Just as you finally put an end to the horror that was the Nogitsune, your pack was hit with another loss: Aiden. Lydia’s relationship with him was complicated, but that didn’t make her any less devastated as she ran out of the school and took in the scene. Holding your friend while she sobbed over the death of two of the most important people in her life is traumatizing, but reaffirming nonetheless; you had no right to cry when someone else was going through worse. 

It was an unhealthy and ridiculous thought, but it was what your brain had been conditioned. 

So here you were, slowly entering your room at an ungodly hour after making sure Lydia would be okay on her own. If it were up to you, you would have stayed with her, but she remained firm that she needed to be alone. And you trusted she meant that. You drop down onto the edge of your bed, heavily, the weight of the last few days - weeks, months, year - making you collapse. Normally, you could push any swirling thoughts away and mindlessly get ready for bed, but as you struggle to pull off your boots, your mind is racing. Scenes of Allison dying, Lydia’s scream, Scott’s face, Stiles collapsing, play in your head. Your lip is quivering. Your hands shake as you drag the shoe’s zipper down your leg. And then suddenly, the unfamiliar feeling of a hot tear streams down your face. You wipe at them hastily, trying to snap yourself out of it but they keep coming. 

You’re on the verge of hyperventilating when you sense someone outside your bedroom window, hearing something bump against it a second later. Without another thought, you’re up and pulling the curtain open, your hand nearly raised to cast one hell of a spell on whoever could be lurking outside at this time after the night you experienced. But your stomach drops when you see Stiles perched on the other side of the glass. Even quicker now, you pull open the window and yank him inside anxiously. 

“Woah, you’re quick. I didn’t even get a chance to knock,” Stiles mutters softly.

“Stiles!” you gasp out as quietly as I can, “What the hell are you doing? You should be in your home, asleep, resting, safe! And you’re risking your life for the second time tonight climbing up here!”

As you scold him, your hands grip onto his flannel, searching him up and down for any sign of distress. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Stiles whispers, his hands reaching out to gently rub your shoulders, “I’m okay, I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not,” you shake your head, “You should be home. You should be with your dad, the last few weeks have been killing him.”

“I texted him,” Stiles bypasses quicker than he should, “I just wanted to see you.”

You look up at him for the first time since he’s been in the room, your eyebrows pinching, “You what?”

“Yeah, I…” Stiles pauses as he observes your face. He gently lifts his right hand to cup your face gently, his thumb wiping a tear, “You’re crying.”

Shit. You’d forgotten about that. 

You swallow thickly, making half a move to pull away from him, but he’s instinctive and doesn’t let you get far. You start shaking your head, averting your gaze again and aggressively wiping at your own face in another attempt to hide. 

“No, I’m okay. I’m fine.” you insist.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Stiles argues. 

“No it's not,” you shake your head more, “God you shouldn’t be comforting me, you almost died tonight.” 

“But you’re allowed to be upset. A lot has been happening.” 

“But Lydia and Scott…”

“No, Allison was your friend, too. It's been a rough few days...”

“No, Stiles, stop, it's not that!” your voice cracks as you quietly exclaim, looking at him firmly now, “The last few days have been…awful. I am so sad about Aiden, and I am devastated about Allison, but I can’t stop thinking about how Scott and Lydia must feel.”

Stiles sighs, “You cared about them too.”

“I know that, but Lydia lost her boyfriend and her best friend within days. Scott lost, like, the love of his life. And that’s what makes my stomach hurt. My mind keeps going to how much it must be hurting them, and I can’t even comprehend it- I can’t even go there because it seems excruciating. And then I feel guilty for even thinking about that, when that’s not what happened to me. They lost their person, and you’re still…” 

Your voice trails off when you realize the implication of what you’re saying.

He’s your person and he’s still here. 

You feel your eyes widen as you process what you just admitted to your best friend. You take in his own surprised expression as he realizes it, too. His hands are still on either side of your face as you look down and sputter, trying to form another coherent sentence. 

“I just meant…so many bad things have happened the last few days, but the one thing I can't stop thinking about is how I almost lost you tonight…” you whisper. You force yourself to look at him again and his lips part, still in a state of…shock? Awe? 

When he doesn’t say anything after a few seconds, you hurry to fill the silence. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be saying or thinking any of this.”

You make another attempt to pull away from him, but he pulls you closer. 

“No, no,” he whispers.

“You don’t have to say anything to make me feel better, in fact that’s the last thing you should be doing,” you continue rambling.

“Hey, stop it. You don’t ever have to apologize, especially not to me. Just because someone may have gone through worse, doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to react or mourn or feel. You’re always so strong for us but it's okay not to be sometimes. And…” Stiles takes a deep breath, “You’re not the only one thinking about what-ifs tonight.” 

You look at him curiously as he continues. 

“What if I had been stronger? None of this would have happened - that thing couldn’t possess me. What if I had been smarter and figured out how to stop the Nogitsune sooner? What if I had really hurt you when he was in control? What if he targeted you the other night or tonight? What if we lost you instead. Despite everything that happened with everyone there, I can't stop thinking about you, you, you. What if I had lost you?” 

You feel your eyes beginning to well up again, at your body’s mercy with no way of stopping it. You could hardly process Stiles' words, in disbelief of the weight they carried. 

“Stiles…” you whisper, but are unable to complete the thought. 

“That’s why I’m here. I couldn’t stomach being away from you right now.” Stiles pauses, before taking a deep breath and continuing, “I'm sorry for not saying it sooner, and sorry for every second you have spent thinking I don’t feel the way you do. You are the most important person in my life, and all I care about half the time. I am…crazy about you. Maybe that’s a poor word choice after my mental state the last few weeks, but it’s true. And if I’ve learned anything from all of this, it's that life's too short. And I don’t want to spend another moment of my life not being with you.”

You stare at Stiles, forced to blink away stray tears. Your heart is racing and you’re still unable to form words, with a million different thoughts swirling in your head.

Not encouraged by your silence, Stiles starts to grow anxious, slowly stepping back and removing his hands from your face as he speaks again, “Was that…way too much, way too fast?…I can go.”

You hardly let him move an inch before you’re stepping back into his space and holding his arms firmly in place. 

“You mean it?” You ask emotionally, “It’s not just the near death experience talking? You really mean it?”

Stiles nods excessively leaning closer, “Every word. You’re my person, too.”

Your lips twist, as if trying to smile but your emotions are all over the place and it just leads to you choking out a sob. In seconds, Stiles' hands move from your face to wrap tightly around your waist as you sink into his embrace.

“I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t wake up tonight.” You cry into his shoulder as he rocks you back and forth. 

“I’m here. I’m okay,” Stiles whispers soothingly, “Mostly because of you.” 

You try to steady your breath as you reply, “Scott and Kira did most of the work.”

Stiles rubs your back, “Not just the ritual tonight. The thought of getting back to you is what held together the last pieces of sanity I had left.” 

You slowly pull back so you can look up at him again, “Really?”

Stiles nods, reaching up to gently wipe your face, “Yeah…I don’t think I could have survived any of it without of you.”

You take a deep breath, briefly thinking about how much torture the last few weeks have been for him, but push the thoughts away when it becomes too much to stomach. You tenderly place your hands on his face. “I’m sorry we couldn't bring you back sooner.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t think about that. I’m here now, yeah?”

You nod, your eyes flicking around his face, taking in every detail you can see in your dimly lit room. “Yeah…”

Stiles gently brushes a piece of your hair back, whispering, “Right where I want to be.” 

As if by a gravitational pull, your face inches closer to him, your noses brushing first, before your lips finally meet in a soft, timid kiss. Your first real kiss. It only takes seconds for the two of you to become more comfortable, any trepidations fading away as you practically melt into each other. You sigh as his hands move down the curves of your body, your own hands gripping his hair. You would have never, ever pulled away if you didn’t need to breathe. Stupid lungs. 

You stay in contact, pressing your foreheads together. 

Breathing heavily, Stiles asks, “Can I…stay here tonight?”

You nearly laugh, “If you even had half a thought that I was going to let you leave after this, you’re out of your mind.” Not even a second goes by before you realize what you had said, your eyes going wide but then you see half an amused smile on his lips.

Stiles shakes his head, shushing you as he pulls you back in for another kiss. 

After a few more moments of kissing, and after you finally change and curl up in bed with him, your thoughts turn back to the recent events and you find yourself crying again. But unapologetically, comforted by Stiles' embrace and the fact that he was feeling the same things as you. And that it was okay to feel them. You both mourn Allison and all the friends you've lost. And eventually, you fall asleep in each other’s arms. The last few weeks had fully broken you. But it was okay, because you had someone to help pick up your pieces whenever you needed. And you’d be there to do the same for him. 

---

author's note: lmao i never know how to end things. but there it is! my first stiles fic in years. some may have read some of my old work from a years ago, but writing for stiles was my one of my first forays into fanfic over a decade ago. i always fall back on my stiles hyperfixation and with the return of fall, its back in full force.

i envision this work as part of the oc/reader character i've developed (mostly in my head) over the years, where she grew up as stiles and scott's best friend, pining over stiles and eventually finds out she is a witch. however, i never fully committed to a teen wolf rewrite, so i've written a few tidbits a while ago. i have an overall narrative i think she follows, but i also love the idea of playing with different ways stiles and the reader can get together, and this was the idea i've had most recently thinking about season 3b. i imagine the reader had already admitted to her feelings, but the timing wasn't right so she's finally giving into them and stiles finally reveals he reciprocates them. i could go on and on about the details for this "world" and the many alternate routes it can take.

let me know if anyone has any interest is seeing more of witch/bestie!reader x stiles in all of its shapes and forms, and feel free to inbox me any questions/thoughts/anything. also let me know what you thought of this! it finally got me writing again after a year, so i'm a little rusty, but eager to get back into it again <333

and again, i haven't forgotten my jamie series...i am trying to get over a hump of writers block for the next chapter but after that i'm locking in. :)

[whereslynx]

Stepping in for Oscar “Spooky” Diaz.

pov: mothering a child who isn’t yours isn’t easy, especially if it’s the leader of the santos’ younger brother; you’d know, you’ve been doing it since the end of your high school years. but for oscar — god, for that man, you’d do anything.

PART 2 (LINK)

a/n: holy crap i was gonna make this a oneshot but i got carried away, so part 2 will be posted soon 😭🙏 this is basically context for part 2 skajjadhsjsh. anyway i hope yall are liking these idk, i got sad when i noticed that nobody was really writing omb anymore cause i rewatched it recently lmaoooo. req some stuff if you guys want, i don’t mind!!

☽✶•┈┈┈•◦❥◦•┈┈┈•✶☾

☽✶•┈┈┈•◦❥◦•┈┈┈•✶☾

To the world, he was Spooky. But to you, when those doors were closed and the night was young, he was Oscar. Your Oscar. The Oscar that you met in High School before he dropped out to aid not only the Santo legacy, but his younger brother, Cesar. And you knew how much he loved Cesar. If anything would’ve happened to him, Oscar would’ve burnt the world down with the fire of his own wrath. You knew this by the countless nights you two spent together whilst youse were still young. There wasn’t a hangout where he’d not mention Cesar once or twice, who at the time, was only a child. He’d tell you of the struggles that came with raising his younger brother with absent parents and having to lead the Santos at the same time, and how he feared that Cesar would recognise how broken his home truly was at such a young age. All you could do was plant sweet kisses along his neck and whispers of assurance that he was doing his best, in hopes of easing him of the burdens he was forced to carry.

So when he got caught up, restrained by those metal cuffs that took him away from the life he had tried so hard to keep together, he trusted you to look out for Cesar.

But you were just as lost as the child he left you with. You had just graduated high school one to two years ago, hardly making it by with the struggles of working as many shifts as you could at the local joint— and now you have a little boy to take care of. The weight of being freshly new to adulthood was dragging you down. You were anxious and frustrated that Oscar threw away everything and made you handle the aftermath. But putting your own feelings aside, you knew that Cesar felt exactly the same, maybe even worse.

He was fine during the day. The Santos would come by to ensure you and Cesar were well equipped, following Oscar’s strict orders to check up on you two now and then. You noticed that Cesar would search for Oscar in the crowds of the Santo men who sat on their porch and in their front yard, getting a bit agitated when he couldn’t spot him. It was only thanks to Sad Eyes who would often keep Cesar distracted from Oscar’s absence, occasionally bringing him a treat from the dairy around the corner or chatting to him about school, earning a silent but appreciative nod from you to which he’d smile in return.

But Cesar at night was a different story. It’d drive you silently insane when he’d cry for Oscar before his bed time, knowing that he missed his older brother as much as you did. His cries would echo across the hall, waking you from your sleep in Oscar’s room. Peeking your head into Cesar’s room, he’d be sobbing for the man who raised him. It broke your heart knowing that Oscar’s sentence was far from finished, which meant there were only so many more nights that young Cesar would spend crying for his older brother. Nights like those would end with you sleeping in Cesar’s room, holding him in your arms and cooing him to sleep with promises that Oscar would come home to youse one day until fatigue took you both to sleep.

You were blessed to say that it got easier as the years went by. You had a stable position at your job, and Cesar was already a teenager who followed the values you taught him. At this point, you were the boy’s mother, taking care of him not just because of the love you have for Oscar, but because of the love you have for him as well. For once, life felt lighter.

Cesar sat at the kitchen table, his gaze snapping to you as you pulled him out of his thoughts. “What’s wrong, mijo?” You asked, placing a plate of breakfast down for him with a curious look on your face. “Ah, nothing, I just—“ He mumbled, staring at his plate, “Oscars getting out soon.” he thought aloud.

With a raised brow, you sat down next to him, “Mhm, I thought you’d be excited that your brother is coming home. I remember how you wouldn’t stop crying for him when you were little.” you laughed, concern lurking in your eyes as you noticed how he clenched his jaw, he was tense at the thought.

“Hey,” you mumbled, putting your hand over his as he hesitantly turned to you, “I know you haven’t seen Oscar in such a long time. But everything will be fine. I promise.” you offered a reassuring smile, trying to read his expression for any chance of understanding. A short silence followed before he nodded, returning a half-smile and giving your hand a soft squeeze as a silent thanks. “You’re right, sorry. Reality’s just setting in, I guess.” He nervously chuckled, finally picking up his fork and eating his food.

Your soft smile never faltered, “It’s fine, eat your food and don’t be late to school. Tell Ruby and Jamal I said hi.” you reminded him, getting up from the table and walking to Oscar’s room— which at this point, was yours until he came home.

Sitting on the bed, you sighed, biting your lip in thought. You knew Cesar didn’t know what to expect with Oscar coming home, he never really did well with change. His overthinking remaining testament to it all. But although you were reassuring him, not even you knew what to expect. ‘Surely everything would be okay. Right? Cesar will be fine, safer even.’ You thought.

Right?

[zombiigrll]

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INSECURITIES. ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 1.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ hurt to comfort, use of y/n, spoilers for twd 6x9, carl and reader are already in a relationship .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ you help carl after he gets shot. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ ive been rewatching the early seasons of the walking dead and seeing everything carl went through again makes me SOB HYSTERICALLY. so ofc i needed to write this and make you guys feel my pain 😈 my creative juices have also been flowing a little bit more recently... but its also a little short too......... hope u dont mind 🙏

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he never showed any of his insecurities to you before. he always made sure that you felt comfortable telling him things, but he would never fully open up to you.

you were aware of his mother passing, that his dads friend died, and just how he's experienced so much death. but he never told you how anybody died. he wouldn't tell you no matter what.

that was until the walkers flooded the streets of alexandria.

as always, you were by carls side. you held his right hand in line as you two along with rick, michonne, jessie, ron, and sam walked through the herd in gut-stained ponchos, attempting to lead them to the quarry nearby.

but everything went downhill. fast.

sam saw something in the herd. no one was sure what, but he freaked out. his cries were loud, and gave away his position.

the walkers killed him, then they made their way to jessie, who had refused to let go of sams hand.

and if it wasn't for you using your machete to cut her arm off, carl would've died, too.

you thought that was it, that you would just have to slash through some more walkers to get somewhere safe, but not yet.

you looked to the side and noticed ron pointing his gun right to you.

but right as he shot, michonne stabbed him.

you were supposed to get shot. but due to the timing...

"dad..?" you heard carl from your left.

you turned to face him, and you immediately noticed his eye.

it was gone. a trail of dark crimson leaking from his socket. you caught him before he could fully fall.

"no.. no, no!" you cried trembling as you held him.

rick runs over and picks carl up. you and michonne pull out your weapons and begin clearing a path with adrenaline coursing through the three of you.

you guys eventually make it to the infirmary.

rick places carl onto the bed. the rest of that night, a loud ringing played in your ears.

your mind raced wildly. thinking of all the possible outcomes, but you were sure he was going to die. i mean, he was shot in the face.

after the nurse helped patch him up the best she could, you sat on the opposite side of rick. rick held one of his hands, you held the other. you rested your head on top of his shoulder, sobbing.

rick was crying, too. praying for carl to be okay.

that's when you felt his hand hold yours back, tightly.

you lifted your hand up to look at rick, and he had the same expression. he was holding both of your guys' hands.

your sobs turned hopeful as you began to smile.

...

a few days had passed. carl was awake, thankfully. he tried to get you to leave the room, but you refused.

"i don't want you to see me like this." carl strenly spoke, his voice cracking slightly as he attempted to hide his face.

you walked over to his side, putting your hand up to his face to carefully cup his now scarred cheek. you turned his face so he could look at you. "i'm not going anywhere."

he sighed and closed his eye, knowing he wouldn't be able to make you go away. "i don't understand you."

"what?"

"after everything i've done.. you're still here with me." he lightly chuckled. "i'm really not a good person, y/n. theres so much you don't know about me."

"nothing you could tell me would make me believe that." you shook your head, moving your hand down to his and holding it tightly.

"you say that now.." he turns his head away. "if i told you what i've done, you'd think i'm a monster. you'd hate me."

"you're not a monster, carl. what are you talking about?"

"i've killed people. a kid i didn't know the name of, my dads friend.. my mom." he kept his eyes shut as he spoke, his voice and body trembling.

you held his hand tighter, looking at him softly. "i'm sure there were reasons to all of that. i don't believe you're a monster."

carl stayed silent.

you brought your other hand up, moving his hair behind his ear before holding his face.

"i love you. no matter what." you smiled at him with your eyebrows furrowed. "no matter who many people you've killed or hurt, no matter if you've done shitty things in the past, no matter how many scars, i don't care. because i love you."

he opened his eye to look at you, he quickly sat up and put his arms around you, putting his head in the crook of your neck.

"hey.. be careful for your eye." you put your arms around him carefully, your hand on the back of his head.

"i love you, too." he silently mumbled. "i don't understand how i got so lucky with you."

you laughed, kissing the top of his head. "i've done bad things too, carl. it's just something we can't avoid now. it doesn't make us monsters." you pushed away from the hug, leaving your hands on his shoulders. "i got lucky with you, too. in my eyes, you're an angel."

his eye moves all over your features. you knew he had been adjusting and learning how to see without his other eye, but seeing it happen right in front of you was a bit difficult to witness.

"i should've been the one that got shot. you saw me kill jessie." you sighed, your gaze turning down to the floor. "he was aiming at me."

carl shakes his head. "it's not your fault. it's no ones fault. if he had shot you, i think he would've really killed you. but i got shot, and i'm alive." he smiles at you, tilting his head as he continues taking you in. "i'm glad it was me."

you tilted your head, pursing your lips slightly. "i guess either way, no matter who got shot, no one would be okay with it." you laughed, trying to make light of the situation. "...you should get some rest."

"i know." he moves away and lays back down, looking back up at the ceiling.

you stand up, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on his forehead before turning back away to the door. "goodnight, carl."

"wait."

you turned back around. "hm?"

"...could you stay?" carl asked, his voice softened.

your lips curved up into a smile, walking back over to him. "of course." you sat back down next to him, holding his hand again, similarly to when he was first shot. "get some sleep, okay?"

he nodded, closing his eye. "alright. i love you."

"i love you too, carl. always."

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[atrociousgargamelitis]

Not what I usually do here, but I have to. The new helluva episode. It broke me. It tore my heart apart and stomped on it. I can genuinely feel my soul hemorrhaging. A little part of me perished today. I legitimately got a headache.

Here's the thing. Blitzø's feelings are completely valid. I recently rewatched the show while I waited for the full moon to come out and he is right. Stolas, especially in the first season, was pretty classist. Blitzø did have a point when he said that Stolas treated him like one of his butler imps. He literally called him "my impish little plaything".

Stolas has had TREMENDOUS character development. He understood that the transactional deal was not in fact ideal or something to look forward to and he stepped up. He made a truly selfless move and acknowledged his feelings. But here's the thing. He also didn't give Blitzø a chance. He got in his own head so much that when Blitzø failed to understand his feelings at once, he gave up. He thought that all of his worst fears became true and because he overthought it SO much, he just gave up.

But Blitzø. Blitzø didn't shut Stolas off because he didn't have any feelings. He shut him off because he wholeheartedly could not believe that someone loves him and wants to be with him regardless of any physical or material gain. And you know what. He did try. He told Stolas how he felt. Everything. How he thought Stolas only viewed him as a measly imp that fucked him raw. And Stolas had NO FUCKING CLUE Blitzø felt like that.

This episode broke me. I ugly cried. That's not to say I didn't like it, of course. This episode was a masterpiece from every single view point. The voice acting, the visuals, the dialogues.

I think so highly of you. I didn't realize you thought so lowly of me.

[cameronspecial]

I was recently rewatching OBX S3 and realized we never saw Rafe’s reaction to Ward dying. So my request for you is to write a Rafe x reader where the reader was there when Ward died and had to tell him. They already had a sort of close relationship. Childhood friends/friend’s brother type idk. Anyway, thanks <3

Dead Dad Club

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Dead Dads

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.6K

Masterlist

Y/N couldn’t believe it happened. She never thought that when her best friend, the Pogues and she went to South America, she would watch her best friend and ex-boyfriend’s father die to protect them. However, that’s how she finds herself in front of Tannyhill, which now, belongs to Rafe because of the un-fake version of Ward’s death. She should be the one to tell him; she has to be the one to tell him. Because after everything he has done, she is the only one (other than Wheezie, who even though she loves him, favours Sarah) who holds any love for him. She knows he beat up Shrieff Peterkin and hurt Sarah, but she can still see the Rafe she used to love and she knows he still loves her. He made it clear when he did everything to protect her during her and the Pogues' escape from the cargo ship. 

Her knock sounds hollow as her heartbeat blasts in her ear. She sees his figure through the glass door. She’ll never get used to his shaved head. His mouth puckers at the sight of her and he shifts to the side to see behind her. “When did you get back? Is my dad with you?” She grimaces, “That’s what I came here to talk to you about. Let’s  go to the living room.” He nods, holding her by the fingertips as he leads her to the couch. They sit and turn to face each other. Their knees graze. She bites her lower lip to keep her tears in. He needs her to be strong right now. “Pumpkin, where is my dad?” She lets out a breath and the words spill out of her. “Your dad died in Venezuela. He ran towards a man trying to shoot Sarah and fell off a cliff.” Rafe freezes and his face whitens. The room grows quiet. “No,” he whispers. “No. No. No.” His voice begins to rise and he stands up to pass around the room. He whips toward her with a finger pointed at her and tears streaming down his face. “YOU ARE LYING. HE ISN’T DEAD. WHY ARE YOU LYING?” The sight of him breaks the dam holding back her own tears.

She cries, “I’m not, Baby, I’m not. I’m so sorry, but I saw his body with my own eyes. He goes through the first two stages of grief and goes right into bargaining. “If I had been there, I could’ve saved him. I should’ve taken him. I should’ve been there. God, please, I’ll do anything for this to be a lie.” He breaks down right before her and she rushes as he collapses into her arms. She drops to the floor with him, resting his head on her chest. “I know. I’m sorry, Baby. I wish I could say that I am lying,” she whispers to him, kissing his temple. His breathing begins to even out as he starts to remember the last time they talked before he dropped his dad off at the private jet. He wouldn’t leave the cross for her and he pointed a gun at her friends. 

“Why are you here? Why are you the one telling me this?” he questions. He looks up at her and she smooths down the hair at his nape. She kisses his forehead, “You were there for me when my dad died, so it’s my turn to be there for you. Plus, you deserve to have someone who loves you around right now.” He shows his gratitude by dropping his head into her chest and kissing the spot between her collarbones. For the rest of the afternoon, they helped each other grieve.

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld

[80smen-fanclub]

And another one, everybody. This one is incredibly personal to me. I have to admit I cried harder watching this scene than Henry’s apparent death (he just forgot to tell everyone he got into another plane, silly guy)

I spent three months studying in England before I dropped out after weeks of mocking my accent, the way I write or that I’m strict and not fun at all. I had so many questions, I just wasn’t sure why all that happened. I rewatched this scene recently. First time after going back home- and it felt like all the doubts and emotions from back then were finally out into actual words. So this scene really does the job for me

[obessedwithfictionalmen]

Co-Stars pt.5

Callum Turner X Actress! Reader

Summary: The story of one of the song Y/n wrote for a movie.

Warning: Mention of toxic relationships/ use of Y/n/ crying/

‘’Y/n, recently we’ve all rewatched Burlesque, and did you write all the songs?’’ The interviewer asked. ‘’Yes, all of them’’ she answered. ‘’What was the inspiration for Bound to You? It’s obviously a personal song and important for the movie’’ Y/n remembers what the inspiration was. It was Callum. Him and all the time that he proved to her that love was possible again.

Sweet love, sweet love, trapped in your love

I've opened up, unsure I can trust

My heart and I were buried in dust

Free me, free us.

The first time they talked about each other’s trauma was on the set of The Only Boy Living in New York, they talked about how Y/n got out of a toxic relationship, scared to love again. She was afraid to trust anyone again, but Callum told her how the person that is going to love her won’t hurt her, like her ex-boyfriend did. That day, she started to trust him, still afraid of rejection, but she trusted him.

You're all I need when I'm holding you tight

If you walk away, I will suffer tonight.

The night when she first cried in his arms was when she had a nightmare that he died. ‘’Please, be there when I wake up, I can’t lose you!’’ she cried. ‘’I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here in the morning. I promise Y/n’’ he said, hugging her tightly.

I found a man I can trust

And boy, I believe in us

I am terrified to love for the first time

Can't you see that I'm bound in chains?

I've finally found my way

I am bound to you

I am bound to you.

She fell in love with him when he did a big gesture for her. It was as a friend, but Y/n couldn’t believe he would do that. They were both working on Inside Out, she’d talk about Heath Ledger’s musical performance in 10 Things I Hate About You, then Callum tried to recreate it, singing the same song, but they weren’t in public, but still, Y/n fell in love with the British men that day.

-

‘’Bound to you was about Callum actually, about how I fell in love with him over the years and how he was always there for me, since day 1’’ She smiled, they’ve announced their relationship a month ago and the internet has never been more in love with a couple. The British men was next to her, listening to what she had to say about her song. ‘’Callum, how do you feel about that?’’ He smiled. ‘’I didn’t know that, but it’s really big, to have a love song wrote about you. I’m actually just remembering the lyrics and I’m really touched.’’ He smiled. They both looked at each other, love sparkled in their eyes. ‘’I love you’’ she mouthed. ‘’I love you too’’ he replied.

@Official_Y/n

@Official_Y/n: Throwback when I wrote my song 💚 #Burlesque

Like by 67 289

Comments

@User7291: That green dress!!!!

@CallumandY/n4ever: Stop the fact that this song is about Callum!!!!

@Austin_Butler: This is so cute!!!

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[yanderecrazysie]

Good day, I was actually the anon who requested oshi no ko… I hope you enjoyed it cause I just recently rewatched it cause I couldn’t move past Ai’s death.

But can I have Yandere Aqua and more specifically if you are ok with it, with someone from his past life like his young intern. Like someone he had an attachment to as a doctor as they spent a lot of time working together and become really good friends despite the reader not really being into an idol stuff. So after his death, the reader naturally mourn him and left his hometown because of guilt of not being able to find his body.

So flash forward reader is now a certified doctor for stunt doubles and meats Aqua in a movie set. Seeing you, his once meek intern now a professional doctor brings feelings from him. You are his only connection to his past life as Gorou and he can’t seem to shake you off the emotions you bringout from him. He sees you as someone he has to control to protect you from harm and this leads to yandere obsession.

Thanks for reading my ask and request. Although thinking this more clearly, I feel like there would be a significant age gap between intern reader and aqua but The idea won’t leave my head so I hope you’re ok with it as long as both Aqua and Reader are legal adults

Oshi no Ko was literally so good! I cried at Ai’s death scene, it was so sad! (Then again, I cry at everything on TV these days lol) 

I made Reader young at the start, but there’s still a large age gap obviously. Both are adults though, so it’s technically fine.

Title: To See You Again

Pairings: Hoshino Aqua x Reader

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, significant age gap (legal adults)

Summary: Aqua sees someone from his past life again after 18 years. It brings up some darker feelings.

“You know, I can’t really get into this idol stuff, but it makes me happy to see you happy,” you giggled. 

Dr. Gorou couldn’t tear his eyes away from the TV, where a beautiful girl in a pink dress danced and sang on a brightly-lit stage. He gave a grunt of acknowledgment to show he’d heard his young intern. 

At just 18, you were the youngest person working in the hospital. It was clear you weren’t aiming to be a gynecologist like Dr. Gorou was, but your hometown was a small one and there weren't many options to intern at. 

You sat down on the bed next to your mentor, watching Ai blow a kiss to the audience, her eyes shining with emotion. Although you didn’t see the appeal in it, you understood that he had gotten into it from a young patient who had died. You couldn’t help but wonder if that death had scarred him somehow.

Scooting a little closer, you smiled up at Dr. Gorou. He looked at you from the corner of his eye for a moment, smiling back, before he turned his attention back to the idol on-screen. You stifled a sigh.

He’d never notice your feelings, would he?

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aqua stood idly around, watching the other actors practice their lines together. He’d already memorized his part of the script- it was easy compared to all the medical terms he’d had to memorize in medical school. 

“Quiet on set! Quiet on set!” Someone called out. The actors went quiet as a stunt actor got in place on set. Aqua watched silently from the corner he stood in.

The stunt double took a running leap through a glass window, taking the place of the main character, who had performed the scene just before this one. Suddenly, he stood up, clutching his leg and letting out a strangled cry. Sticking out from his thigh was a large shard of glass, blood beginning to seep through his pants.

“Cut!” The director yelled, leaping up from his chair. “Aqua, take him to the doctor on set!”

Aqua bit back a sigh. Why him? He walked over to the stunt double and offered him his arm to take. The stunt actor leaned against him, limping with each step and wincing in pain.

Aqua had never seen the doctor, but he knew where she was staying. He helped the man along the backstage hallway and to the office. He gave a quick knock and entered, helping the stunt double onto the bed.

Once he saw the doctor, his heart stopped. 

You were older now, probably around the age he was when he’d died in his previous life, but it was unmistakably you. He felt an irresistible tug at his heart when he looked at you, reminded of your smile and obvious crush on him.

For a moment, he waited for you to recognize him, but remembered that he wasn’t the same person anymore. Of course you wouldn’t know him. 

You had turned all of your attention to the poor stunt double in front of you, and Aqua was struck by the realization that you’d matured so much since he’d last seen you. You were a fully fledged doctor now, not just an intern. 

He was surprised by the thoughts that crossed his mind. I’m an adult again, so surely she’ll recognize me and want me again. And even worse, the childish reaction he had when he saw the wedding ring on her finger. I knew her first!

Back when he was Dr. Gorou, he had specifically ignored your advances. He was too old for you in his 30s, he had thought. But now, here you were, and the roles had swapped. Now he was the young adult, and the attraction had taken hold of him. Maybe it was hormones or maybe it was the fact that he finally had something from his old life in front of him.

He spotted a photo on your desk and leaned in to inspect it. He was shocked by the image- younger you standing next to Dr. Gorou. He just about choked on his tongue asking, “Hey, who is this?”

You looked up from the leg you were tending and followed his gaze. A sad smile crossed your face. “Oh, that’s my old mentor. He was a kind doctor that went missing, presumed dead. I miss him every day.”

Take that, (Y/n)’s husband. He thought victoriously.

“When can I see you again, Doc?” The stunt double asked as you bandaged his leg, “Maybe at a bar, just you and me?”

Aqua felt red-hot rage shooting through his veins. How dare he?

You giggled your sweet giggle, the one he’d missed for 18 long years, and turned him down. He didn’t deserve your laughter or your kindness, and Aqua seethed silently from it. You had pined after him for so long, why had you moved on?

Maybe your husband had forced you into a relationship. Threatened you. That’s the only conclusion he could make from this situation. After all, you still had his picture on your desk.

He’d take care of your husband for you, and then he’d find a way to make you see that he’s the same man you fell in love with all those years ago.

[qilingxiong]

四樓的天堂 | Heaven on the 4th Floor (2021)

One drama has crept into my life during the last days of 2024 to become my favourite one I've watched this year, and I barely know how to start talking about it. But let's give this a go anyways.

Heaven on the 4th Floor (四樓的天堂) is a Taiwanese drama starring Anthony Wong, Hsieh Ying-xuan, and Fandy Fan. I would call it mostly slice-of-life with some melodrama, as there's no strongly focused overarching plot. Rather, it follows a cast of characters and the struggles/hurdles in their lives they have to face, all of whom are helped/guided by the something all of them have in common— seeing a tuina masseuse named Tianyi (Anthony Wong).

I don't quite know how to describe the way this show develops, as everyone's arcs separate and overlap at different times, but I would say Heaven at its core is about healing. First and foremost about healing the relationship one has with their body and oneself, but also those with other people, with the past, and with the present-day world around someone. There's some interesting juxtaposition between the physical healing Tianyi can offer his clients, and the mental healing Hsieh Ying-xuan's psychologist character provides for her own, with a look at how one cannot do the work of the other. Some characters are recurring throughout the show, others you get to watch take a step forward in the span of one episode, but eventually, no one remains where they were at the beginning.

The character who has the most growth throughout all this, in my opinion, is Fandy Fan's Yuzhou, a young graffiti artist. It's by meeting Tianyi that he gradually manages to stop hiding from the past, but also start looking with hope toward a future, and find a way to be better in tune with himself, his body, and the art he creates.

Aside from healing, Heaven is also about loss, and how someone reckons with it. Past loss (the disappearance of one's loved ones, the yearning for something you never got to have), present/recent loss (the death of a family member, the ending of a relationship), and loss that inevitably lies ahead (the destruction of one's home and the fight to resist it, even if it's all in vain). Characters war with their grief and are forced to find ways to release and gradually accept it, and while my heart ached for different people at different points in time, it was beautiful to watch.

I cannot stress enough that with all this combined, Heaven is one of the most cathartic pieces of media I've ever seen. I cried an unexpected number of times, from the beginning of the show to the end, and it was never, ever in a bad way. The three leads especially did a truly incredible job bringing the viewer into their lives, taking them along for the emotional ride, and I wish all the actors had won awards for that (only one of them did, but she truly deserved it).

Production-wise, I also adore the quality of this show. It's somehow very soothing to watch, visually, and the accompanying soundtrack made me tear up several times. I had to shake myself out of a daze every time I took a break from watching; it both felt like I'd run a marathon, but also had been sitting still, head quiet, and had had someone tell me not to worry about anything else in the world for a while. (It also made me feel more physically present in my body. My shoulders haven't been un-tense in years, and I think thanks to Heaven I'm going to have to do something about that.)

In addition, this isn't the main focus of the show, but queerness is worked into it in wonderfully ordinary ways. There's more than one queer character and a trans character who show up in this, and one protagonist who is either heavily coded as or possibly explicitly aroace spectrum, depending on how much you read into it. Her arc ended up being one of my favourites; the show deals with her relationships lining up with aroace experiences in a way I haven't really seen onscreen before.

Overall, I'm absolutely going to rewatch Heaven in the future, when I feel that I need to return to that story. If you want a grounded, very character-driven show to get gently lost in for a while, this is it.

(Though admittedly, I know this drama definitely isn't going to be for everyone. It's a little bit sleepy-going, and not everyone is interested in or is braced to deal with the emotions of the story. Normally even I'm not, but here I am. However, if you're interested, here's the trailer for Heaven on the 4th Floor:

And I don't tend to do this, but I'm also going to toss out two tracks that sound how this show feels, to me: In My Breath Again from the soundtrack of After Yang, and 披星戴月的想你 by Accusefive. Sit with those for a while and see what you think, if it helps you decide whether to watch or not.)

Note: Unless you have Taiwanese Netflix, you're gonna have to jump on the pirate ship to find this show. However, as far as I'm aware there have never been English subtitles made for it on any site, so if you can't read the Traditional Chinese in the episode raws, then you may have to sit this one out for the time being.)

[agatharkn3ss]

Hi! Maybe I missed it but how do you think: what could have caused "the battle" between Agatha and Rio? I mean besides the fact that Rio could have done something to Nicholas (as we believe), at the beginning she came to Agatha with a specific reason, was doing her job. And it seems that closer to the end of the show we may see the outcome of this battle.

Does she really want to hurt Agatha or it was just, ahem, foreplay? What if her "job" is a hidden mission like serving someone or following the code of The Death if there is one.

Everything is complicated by the fact that there is obviously a blood or some other marital connection between them because of which they cannot kill each other, therefore, she needs Agatha alive but for what purpose?

AGATHARIO AND THEIR FEELINGS

Hi! Sorry it took me ages to respond! I am still mulling over this and I can only provide some thoughts rather than a coherent theory. The more I rewatch the episodes and read Jac's amazing insights, the more I feel that "the battle" was because of Nicholas.

Agatha and Rio have such an amazing chemistry and it is very clear they have long history and are drawn to each other like magnets. So for them to be apart, something big must have happened. I believe Nicholas died in some tragic circumstances and maybe more recent than we think. I am still torn between what could've caused his death. I don't think any complicated Darkhold trade was involved, but rather it was a much simpler cause, which makes it even more painful to Agatha that she couldn't prevent it. So I think maybe he was hit by a car (which would explain Agatha's extreme reaction when Teen was hit in ep.1). There is a theory that maybe Nicholas, being a Blood Witch, had some powers himself. And that he used them when playing with Agatha. Since she couldn't control it, she syphoned his magic and he died. However, generally in Marvel we see that kids don't get their powers until they become teenagers and it sounds like Nicky was a toddler.

Either way, he dies and Rio has to take him because it's her job as Lady Death. Agatha would be pleading with her not to do it and bring him back, but there is nothing that can be done. So Agatha shuts Rio off, blaming her for taking away her son, but really it's just a way to block the truth that it was her own fault. She hates herself but projects it onto Rio. Runs away, acquires Darkhold and hides from Rio - as a revenge but also to hide from the memory of that tragedy. The only thing that she holds on to is Nicky's hair in that locket. And it HAS to be Nicky's hair, because every single time she pays any attention to it, we hear Nicky's theme playing in the background.

The thing is, Nicky was Rio's son too. She is also in pain and had to go through the torture of sending her own son to the underworld. And yet, instead of finding some comfort in each other, Agatha doesn't even give Rio the chance to express or talk through her grief. Even worse, she acts as if Rio did it on purpose, adding even more hurt. And then just disappears (literally ghosting Rio), without any explanation or hope that she will come back. Rio seems to always be so in tune with Agatha - we see the glimpses of it in the spell reality in ep.1. But when Agatha hides, Rio can't even "feel" her any more (similar to when Wanda cried over Vision's body and said "I can't feel you").

So when Rio can finally feel Agatha again and finds her, her first thoughts are probably that of absolute anger for the pain that Agatha's disappearance caused. But then she realises that Agatha is not herself. She's Agnes O'Connor and doesn't even remember Rio. So for Rio to get her revenge or any kind of closure, she needs to bring Agatha out of it. But in this process, as she gets to spend some the time with her, and she realises how much she missed her companion. And that anger slowly starts to give space to yearning.

So when she finally has the change to confront the real Agatha, she has this total mix of emotions - she is oh so angry and hurt, but she has also remembered why she fell in love in the first place. And that's why we get this "playful" fight.

For Agatha, this is the first time she sees Rio since Nicky's. So her initial reaction is "I hate you". She doesn't know what to expect from Rio and probably doesn't realise her pain - maybe she pushed the truth so far away and still believes that Rio taking Nicky away was a clear sign that she didn't care and didn't have a heart (seems like she only realised that during the "she's my scar" confession). So when Agatha chokes her, she means it, because she thinks she's fighting for her life. She knows she can't actually kill Death, but she will do whatever she needs to buy some precious time.

But Rio states "I missed you" and seems to be toying with her. She seems to be enjoying this because she is no longer as angry as she was when she first saw Agatha. She no longer intends to kill her. But she enjoys the physical punishment, taking the rare opportunity that Agatha can actually feel this pain for once and can't just magic it away. It feels like a little victory to be able to humiliate her.

Yet at the end, she probably realises this victory doesn't actually feel like she thought it would. Maybe she even feels sorry to be taking advantage of her when she's not even able to defend herself. And deep down she recognises that this hate and pain all come from the simple fact that she was denied Agatha's company and maybe there is still a chance to repair that.

So she softens her stance, drops the blade, gives in. Agatha is relieved but surprised (there is a tear). She doesn't know what to think about it. When Rio heals her, she doesn't know if this is an act of love or just to mock her.

I think this is why, when they re-join on the Witches Road, we see a completely different dynamic between them. They are confused. But also maybe enough time has passed that they can be near each other again. I think they are exploring it and are probably surprised at how easy it is and how well they still know each other. So when Rio next threatens her in ep.5, we see Agatha reacts differently - she immediately responds with a joke because she knows Rio is not going to hurt her. They enjoy the fact they can flirt and play with their dark humour "death" jokes again.

I think Jac Schaeffer pretty much confirms this in her ep.5 interview when she says "They’re exes, and so it’s that thing of, like, you haven’t seen an ex in a really long time, there is a lot of anger, there’s a lot of resentment, and a lot of heat in a negative way that comes out at the top. But if you are then put in a situation where there is, like, time in, and exposure to, and feelings are still there, and there’s also the muscle memory of that love, then you slip in to those behaviors."

Now. After all that, I still don't know what Rio's end game is. Why she came to find Agatha and warned her about Salem Seven. I think that maybe she has a job to do, one that Agatha won't like, but she's playing a triple agent so that she can protect Agatha in her own way.

They have yet to reconcile and have a proper conversation about Nicky. I think Agatha holds on to the locket because she still has a hope that she can bring him back somehow. Maybe the hair has some sort of spell that still binds Nicky to this world, making him a ghost. But Rio hates ghosts and could not bear it. She knows this would just hurt Nicky even more, so she needs Agatha to destroy the locket. So I don't expect them to just fall back into each others' arms. But I also think it would be highly inconsistent to just have these two battle to the end again.

Hope this makes some sense! I will have to take a break now and reread it after some time...