#reblogs are okay-if not encouraged-though i'm not one of those 'ReBloG oR YoU dOn'T CaRe' types of people.

[torchickentacos]

Physical Education Class and Ableism (AKA, 'Is my invisible disability actually invisible, or do you just close your eyes when confronted with a student in pain?')

I will not pretend this is a well-written discussion on the issues in PE. This is not that. This is an outlet of the grief and pain and genuine suffering that I, and many other students, felt through PE class- which goes far further than having a couple blisters after running the mile. I am in no way being dramatic or hyperbolic when I say that PE class leaves a long-lasting stain on not only self-image, but for some of us, our bodies. LONG POST. This IS personal and emotional (because years later I'm still angry at how I was treated), not a purely fact-driven dissertation, though personal anecdotes are relevant to the topic, and my emotional biases do not invalidate my points.

TW for ableism and brief mention of ED behaviours (clearly labeled and easy to skip over). This was definitively NOT fun to write, and I quite dislike talking about exactly how much disability affects me but I'm honestly angry enough to not care right now. Because every time I think about how I was treated, I get angrier and angrier. The wound grows deeper with each year I have to process it. I just want this to reach anyone else who is as angry about it as I am to reassure you that you have every right to be angry. A hell of a lot more people should be mad, too. I want people to get mad reading this. If you want, share it. Put it on tiktok without credit, for all I care (though actually please don't do that). If nothing else, just listen to kids when they say they're in pain.

To preface, I have never been able to do a push-up. Never. My shoulders and elbows just cannot support me. Any time we did push-up tests, I'd just sit on my ass because why hurt myself trying to do what everyone around me could do with ease? As for curl-ups, I think I peaked at 27 once. I never ran the mile in under thirteen minutes. Never did a pull-up. Was always last in every activity consistently (even during Ramadan, as a non-muslim who was not fasting- which, Ramadan and PE expectations are a WHOLE other topic that I am not educated enough on to make comments on, so I digress).

There were maybe three things I was good at, though. I could always far exceed everyone else in stretching and flexibility tests, and I was uniquely really good at gymnastics and hurdles, of all things. In retrospect, this is due to the leg flexibility needed for hurdle jumping, and I'm flexible due to disability- I'll get into that soon, though.

All of which is to say, I was bad at PE.

No matter what we did, for the most part, I'd be lagging behind and dizzy and in pain.

At first, I tried to push through and ignore it, determined to not fall too far behind my classmates. I was already a weirdo in the special ed program, didn't need another reason to feel like an outcast. I was already, at that point in time, missing large chunks of the year due to 'psychiatric help' stays, to put it mildly. So I just tried to keep up and never could.

Eventually, the complaining started. Or rather, the advocating that fell on un-listening ears. I started telling my teachers that running hurt and I didn't know why. That I was out of breath and my head hurt. This went on for a couple years and every single time the answer was 'well, you'll get half credit for the class if you walk today, but if you do that too much you'll fail'. So basically the answer I was given was to run with everyone else or fail class.

I started having a crunching knee. A clicking kneecap. Ankles rolling. Progressively getting worse over time. I started running with a limp. I started lagging even further behind. I started giving up entirely, opting to walk and take a bad grade because I could not keep willingly and actively hurting myself. One time, I even almost passed out after the mile and was told "well, put your head between your knees and see if that helps, then go back inside and get ready to go to your next class".

What that response told me was that I was being dramatic and lazy. The lack of seriousness they took it with told me I was just being overdramatic. So, I started believing them. Every time I walked up the school's stairs to the second floor, knees hurting and chest heaving, I just told myself I was out of shape and needed to work out more. I convinced myself I was lazy, just like they thought I was. I tried to get better. I tried to exert myself more and more in class only for it to hurt more and more.

The harder I tried, the worse I got.

I didn't understand it. Everyone around me was doing the same exercises and getting faster and stronger. Everyone else was improving or at least staying at the same levels of health. I was deteriorating, no matter how hard I tried to get into shape. I wasn't trying hard enough, maybe. SKIP RED SECTION IF ED TOPICS ARE TRIGGERING FOR YOU.

Maybe I was overweight, I thought (not true and led to some very bad habits that made me worse). I'd go from not eating lunch one day to eating two the next, trying ANYTHING that would make me feel like I was putting in the 'effort' to be healthier. Maybe I needed more food and more muscle. Maybe I needed less food and less fat. I'm sure we can see how this was an issue (that could have and would have been avoided had I been listened to).

RED SECTION OVER.

I was roughly thirteen to sixteen through all of this, if my math adds up (which it very well may not, since we can also put math in the disability zone for me).

I still get stuck in this thought pattern. I'm still working to get rid of these thoughts and attitudes in 2023. My last PE class was in 2018 if I recall.

I started skipping class. I was getting panic attacks and hiding out in the halls, in the bathrooms, trying to strategically schedule counselor meetings, doing anything I could to avoid PE class and the pain that came with it.

Eventually, though, after an eternity of pain and being told to suck it up, I stopped PE classes and fulfilled my credits for them (how I passed, I have NO idea- I can only guess my IEP team pulled strings for me behind the scenes). Only after this did I learn I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome (and some other random stuff that's less pertinent but definitely didn't help).

Ehlers Danlos or EDS is, to put it simply, a joint/connective tissue disorder characterized by hypermobile, super flexible yet weak joints that are prone to injury and dislocation. It comes with a plethora of comorbidities and other symptoms that aren't as relevant but still made it harder for me to work out.

Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome, or POTS, is where your heart rate spikes when you stand from sitting or laying down, causing dizziness and blacking out. For me, it also results in chronic hypoxia- low oxygen.

During exercise, my joints were not strong enough to take it. My joints would not stay in place and this caused injury. Want to know one of the owrst things people with EDS can do? High-impact repetitive exercises. Like running. The POTS made me dizzy and weak, and I couldn't get enough oxygen to sustain the level of exertion required of me to run.

I am now not ALLOWED to run by my doctor. I'm still working on finding a way to work out that is safe for me because the truth is, most exercises are NOT safe for me. Granted, exercise in specific ways are actually helpful and considered treatment, but this is with a physical therapist and medical professionals who know how to help you work out in ways that will help and not prove to be detrimental.

Safe to say, PE class is not that.

And here's the thing. Ehlers Danlos and POTS are what are known as invisible disabilities. Unlike amputees or people whose disabilities altered the physical look of their bodies, my disabilities are all internal. But they aren't truly invisible.

My teacher could have seen the way I was white as a sheet and stumbling after attempting the mile, the way I would almost black out once I finally sat on the grass. She should have seen the way I winced as I got up from sitting every single time. She saw me limping when my kneecaps were sliding OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS as I ran (but she likely assumed I was being dramatic and faking that limp). Invisible disabilities are not truly invisible. Through the easy bruises, the never-healing injuries, the blood pooling, the pallid faces and the hyperflexible joints, the rashes and reactions, through the pain and through all the times I tried my damn hardest to vocalize these issues, it was immensely visible if someone was willing to see it or listen.

She only ever saw the issue when I started to skip class because I was getting panic attacks about attending.

The last interaction I ever had with my PE teacher was at Graduation.

We had an outdoor venue due to Covid. By then, I'd had diagnoses for Ehlers Danlos, Postural Orthostatic Tachychardia Syndrome, and various other things, and I'd been out of PE for three years (I took two years of pe freshman and sophomore year, none during junior and senior, and had one extra year for a veterinary science thing).

I had seen her during our practice round, which took place in our gym. I'd asked her about the amount of stairs at the venue and about how much standing was needed, explaining my disability to the same woman who would force me to run with it. She said she'd make sure she was there to help me through it and to find an accessible way to get through the venue.

I get to the venue and she's nowhere to be seen. I walk to the area we were told to go to, no teacher in sight to take me to any shortcuts or to keep an eye on me. I sit in the line of students on the hot concrete behind the stage (where everyone else stood) in my comfiest, most supportive shoes that clashed with my graduation dress, among the girls in their best heels.

I graduate in the same way I took PE class- without her help.

Afterwards, she finds me. After I've walked and sat on hot concrete and sweated and been dizzy and steadied myself on walls and the ground.

She says, in the most condescending voice I could possibly imagine, that I seem to have been fine without her help.

It was obvious to me. This final act, this final stretch of forced self-sufficience on my part had solidified it to her- I had never needed all the help I had seeked. All the complaining had been just that- complaining. Skipped classes were truancy. To her, I'm sure I'm long forgotten as one of the lazier students she's ever had.

I don't recall her name but I remember her face as clear as day. I remember how I felt every damn time I walked to the dressing room, the pain as I took my backpack off in the locker rooms and felt how much my back hurt from it. I remember her every time my knee crunches as I stand up from my desk chair, every time I'm out of breath. Every time my shoulder aches after tossing a stray ball to the kids across the street from my grandmother's house.

I remember how she made me feel.

I want to wave my cane in her face. I want to make her take my vitals and WATCH as the blood rushes out of my face as I stand, to WATCH as my heart rate goes from 65 resting to 120+ as I stand up. I want her to hear how my joints crack and pop and snap. I want her to see my kneecap sickeningly glide out of place and into the side of my knee. I want her to have been in the same room as my mom and I when my Cardiologist said my oxygen levels from POTS hypoxia could have been confused with that of someone in heart failure. I want her to know how I cried in the car after that appointment.

Not because I want her to be miserable and sick with guilt, but because I want to prove to her that I wasn't a liar. I wasn't faking it. i wasn't seeking attention.

But I can't do any of that, not that it would help anything if I was able to and did. All I can do is sit here and type and seethe, as my wrist pain starts to shoot into my forearm and as my hands and feet grow cold from blood pooling- I've been sitting and typing too long, and now my hand skin is mottled and my feet are growing purple with that so-called 'invisible' disability that nobody saw in me.

I don't want consolation. I don't want pity. I don't need sympathy, though I appreciate it. What I want is for this to stop happening. I want disabled people to be seen and to stop being forced to do things that are harmful to their bodies. I want for schools to stop giving a letter grade to someone's health. I want some random thirteen year old to not have to go through what I did at their age.

I WANT PEOPLE TO FUCKING LISTEN TO KIDS WHEN THEY SAY THEY'RE IN PAIN.

[catcze]

⠀「 Wearing his clothes 」 

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

「 FEAT : 」 Kazuha, Wriothesley, Neuvillette, Kaveh (separate) x gn! reader

!! Hello !! Haven't even had a shot of tequila for the night yet but I'm already writing, look at me go !!

[ #KAZUHA ]

This guy has the absolute comfiest sweaters and hoodies!!

They're the ones that are warm and soft from use, and that you know he's cared for over the years. They're also so good because they smell like him, too! Smells like sunshine and a light breeze, if that makes sense?

Kazuha's hoodies and sweaters are practically free range for you— at this point, half of the cozy clothes in your closet have been pilfered from him!

And he always encourages you to steal from him, too!

It's a cold day out today? Here, have his hoodie. No, don't worry about returning it. Just keep it over at yours and he'll pick it up sometime. (spoiler: he does not, in fact, pick it up)

Oh, he left his sweater behind at your place while you were hanging out? It's okay, just keep it for now.

But really, he does enjoy seeing you in his clothes! Like, for one, it's you wearing his cozy clothes, so he's insanely attracted to you when he sees that. And for another, it makes him happy seeing you all cozy and bundled up, you know?

[ #WRIOTHESLEY ]

For Wrio, his leather jackets and black button ups are the premiere option to snatch from him.

His jackets are insanely comfy! His leather jackets always keep you warm, and the way it drapes over you and smells like his cologne makes it kinda feel like he's giving you a hug :(

And as for his button ups, he buys the high quality ones, you know? None of those itchy ones that chafe or anything. His button ups are so good to wear, whether you button them up and use them as an actual shirt, or just wear them as an outer layer over another shirt.

Funny thing is though, though Wriothesley doesn't really care about which of his button ups you snatch, he's very particular when it comes to his jackets.

Like, he'll let you borrow them of course, and if you're on a date and you get cold, he'll drape it on your shoulders and let you wear it while he walks you home. He even lets you steal a few right out of his closet and scurry them over to your home, pretending that he doesn't see that your bag is noticeably bigger than when you came over.

But sometimes, you'll get a call from him late at night— "Babe, is my jacket with you?" "Which one?" He then names one of the many, many jackets you've stolen. "Oh. Yeah iIthink I have that with me." "Can I come over and get it? I want to use it when I go for a drive tonight." "At this hour?"

[ #NEUVILLETTE ]

Oh, Neuvillette's coats are to die for!

They're the good ones, the designer ones. My guy doesn't shop in the discount aisle— no, he's bougie.

His coats are incredibly cozy and stylish without being too bulky or heavy. They're big, though! Neuvillette is a big, tall guy, and his coats are the same.

It's almost like drowning in an ocean of (expensive) fabric when you steal borrow his coats. But you do it so often because they're so so so warm and cozy!

You always snatch some of his coats if you can— and Neuvi never voices any complaints. He just smiles, and sometimes even makes playful jokes about you going shopping in his closet.

It's to the point that whenever the weather's cold and he comes to pick you up, he brings a spare coat just for you.

He does the thing where he puts it on you, straightens it out, fixes your collar, makes sure you look presentable and nods to himself when he deems that you are— then ends it all with a kiss placed on your nose.

"That's your rental fee for all my clothes you've scurried away," apparently.

[ #KAVEH ]

HIS SWEATERS !!! They are sooo comfy !!

Kaveh buys his sweaters oversized and the kind that gives him sweater paws— those are the ones that you always go for when given free reign of his closet.

Can you help it?! They're oversized sweaters with sweater paws! And they smell like your boyfriend! And they're incredibly comfortable !

It's especially cute when you both go out in his sweaters— both of you look so cozy and warm, wrapped up in your big sweaters, holding sweater paws.

He probably spritzes his clothes with whatever perfume or cologne catches his fancy that week, so that you smell similar to him when you go out.

And! If one of the sweaters has one of those kangaroo pouch things, you guys hold hands inside the kangaroo pouch, so your hands stay nice and warm <3

He's such a cutie about it too. Kaveh always grins sooo wide when he sees you wearing his sweaters. Makes sure to hug you lots too, because you look insanely huggable like that.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for snapping and scaring a kid?

Okay first, some background, I (F20) am a sorta bnf in a fandom I write and draw for and I am a group of roughly 10 other kinda bnfs who do the same and are all 20+.

We all reblog from each other and support each other, and one unique thing we also do is block minors who are open about being minors that we see anywhere and/or that interact with us.

We DM each other their usernames to weed them out of circle even though all of accounts are PG and do not have and dnis or warnings that minors will be blocked. We don't let anyone know we do this, make no posts about it, no warnings, they just get blocked without any exchange.

There's a few reasons why we do this:

to encourage kids to not let their age be publicly know.

to make sure kids are not getting normalized to interacting with strange adults online

kids, to put it kindly, are fucking lame once you become a certain age through no fault of their own. There's nothing in common after a while. They don't understand adult life and can't relate in the same way another adult can, and this is just no good reason for an unrelated strange adult online to let a kid interact with them that's sketchy and weird as shit

I grew up lurking and with strict internet safety lessons. Nowadays, kids seem to not know how to lurk and basic internet safety anymore. I've tried to make post upon post warning them of the dangers of putting personal information, especially their age, online, but it's done nothing to make the minors interacting to act more safely.

But me and my friend group have found that the only way to get kids to lurk and not put their age online like they should is if they get loose access the things they want because of their age is public.

So many of the kids who follow me have been blocked and they realized why they're getting blocked and came back on a much safer lurker account. I know I'm not the asshole for doing this and encouraging others to do this because ultimately it keeps the kid safer.

What I do think I may be the asshole is when one kid in particular, I'll call him X, spent months testing me to figure out and confirm that I was blocking minors who are open about their age and then spent weeks after that threatening to call me out and accused me of being agist, a pedophile because why am I so scared to interact with kids, and lying about being cis-queer because queers wouldn't discriminate like this.

At first he was was just the usual kiddo with his age in his bio, so I blocked him, and while I didn't notice it at first, he kept making more accounts with his age in the bio and following me. I caught on when I was curious about why do many 14 years olds were following me in a row because normally is varied from around 10 to 17, and I noticed similarities across the account and realized it was one kid desperately trying to following me.

I figured I just keep blocking until he figured out how to keep his age offline, and it seemed to work when I got followed by an identical account with the age missing from any posts and the bio. I let him keep following, not interacting because he's 14 and that'd be fucking weird, but then a week into following me on this new ageless account I got a DM.

It was full of screenshots of me blocking him on he openly a minor accounts and then him just accusing of what I said above. I blocked, not caring to respond to a 14 year old, but he keep making burners to DM more and more accusation.

I just kept blocking without responding, not wanting to waste my time, but then he treatened to call me out for being all those things. I've seen first hand how life ruining those accusation and false callouts can be, how people see those accusations and do no research and let their instinctual disgust and fear of those people drive the accused to going offline or even committing suicide.

I did not want this, and the fact that this may become a possibility due to a kid who just couldn't accept not everyone wants known minors following them, made me super pissed off.

And so to "scare him straight" and to prevent him from making this callout post, I photoshopped screenshots of both a police and cyperbulling report being submitted and police thanking me for reporting this and how they'll check it out.

At the time, still being super angry, it was very satisfying to see him come apologizing, saying he'll stop stalking me, and asking for me to tell the police and cyberbulling that it was a fake report and that it's been handled.

I didn't bother responding and just blocked him, and this time, he didn't make another burner. In fact, he deleted all his accounts.

A few months have past, and now that my anger has melted into annoyance, and that annoyance into realization I may have went too far.

X, while annoying, and could have really hurt me with a fake callout, is at the end of the day, 14, still a little kid.

X probably just didn't know better and I could have just tried to talk to him and reason rather then scaring him. I feel especially bad because if he was a POC and/or an abuse victim still living with his abusers he may have and possibility still be fearing for his life. Also it made me look like a bootlicker and I would kill myself before I ever support a cop

So I'm wondering now if I may have been the asshole here for snapping and scaring a kid

What are these acronyms?

[smalltestaccount]

okay i think ive come to the conclusion that i dont really fit in with most other trans women, like personality wise, and thats okay. Like i think recently a lot of trans women, not just on tumblr, have been making me think i have to be kinky and bizarre or something, be blasé about transitioning or gender roles, or even just like be okay with some borderline harassing behavior. Its okay if that is you (except the harassing behavior some of yall need to work on that), but like thats not really me. Acting this way just makes me feel bad. Just ignoring that Im a total straightedge, that im like a 1 on the Kinsey scale now. Ever since i was like 11 my biggest desire is just like being a normal cis girl. I always am happiest embracing basic American femininity, and i only just re-realized this after after it helped me get out of a depressive episode (along with antidepressants and an increased estrogen dose). I don't care if im "enforcing gender roles", because i fucking love female gender roles (in modern American culture) cause they make me feel like not-a-piece-of-shit. Also i don't strictly adhere to many anyways. And i just don't think terfs would have any issues with cis girls who love the color pink, flowers, being boy crazy, and dreaming about being a mother. So like why should I feel like its wrong to like that stuff? I don't think there is anything wrong with it. And you know if you don't have that relationship with gender that is fine, you need to do what makes you happy, that's why feminism exists. I'm just saying I don't want to pretend like my personality is something that really just makes me uncomfortable.

I dont like when people here imply being a trans woman entails being sexual cause like i just want to be normal and that stereotype is harmful, especially to transgender children who are really likley to be targeted for some kind of sexual abuse because theyre trans and being trans is already sexualized more than it needs to be. Adults can navigate that to some extent, but not kids; I couldnt really navigate that when i started transitioning in middle school and im lucky it only stayed online. Trying to even somewhat fit in with tumblrs idea of trans women has made me encounter tranny porn on my dash and whenever i post images of myself I'm followed by gross accounts that just reblog that stuff . A lot of trans women don't hate it, because sex work is very much as part of the trans community. But honestly, seeing trans women be treated in those ways just makes me feel bad for the actresses and sick about myself and very dysphoric.

Im not saying that you cant express kinkiness and hyper-sexuality, because I dont want to dictate how you act any more than i want you to be dictated on how I act. But I also want to encourage thoughfulness in what you say. Saying you, yourself, is kinky and weird, is not that same as saying trans *girls* are kinky and weird. In the same way I'm not going to reblog tradwife content, I don't think its productive to make an "all tgirls be kinky" post. You shouldn't try to paint that image of other trans women.

As its the first day of june I'll just tie it up by saying that not all trans people fit into one personality and if you want to show support its best not to suggest trans women all act a certain way, and please don't think talking about "gock" is a good way to show support. This isn't a "kink at pride" discourse post in the very slightest cause I don't, and never have, given any shits about that, cause I've never been to pride. This is just me talking about how I fit into the trans community.

Im Alexa and I'm going to reblog and post shit i like, not what other people like or expect. That Includes not doing tummy tuesday cause i really only briefly did it out of fomo and peer pressure. And please don't say things about me that you wouldnt say about other women

[gamerwoman3d]

Maybe you don't like to reblog my explicit fics in order to keep your blog clean, and I'm cool with that. You need not do anything except enjoy the fics that I write.

I don't care about numbers. What I think would be cool is if people were *talking* about my fics with each other. Privately, publicly, podcast, in the bedroom, whatever, I just think that would be cool. I literally think it would be an act of rebellion.

I wish Net Neutrality laws were still in place so folks could do reaction videos to my fics. A mutual once said "I do be making faces (when reading smutty fics) though." But alas, the current internet landscape is too puritanical to allow space for such fun adult conversations.

So while I won't ask for likes or reblogs, I will ask for bookmarks. I will ask that you make copies. I will ask that you copypasta it all someplace where no one else can see it, like a diary app, your own private discord server, or emailing a copy to yourself. Screenshots are okay. Printing it out and snailmailing it overseas is fine as long as you're doing it legally.

I will also ask for private recs. If you know someone that you think might like a piece I wrote, I encourage you to reach out to them and recommend the piece.

I just don't think we talk about the explicit fanfics that we enjoy enough. But as long as publically talking about it can literally lose us access to what little of it we have, I don't have any hard feelings for those of you that do not like/reblog/leave evidence of your enjoyment.

I promise it's okay!

Some people will cry that fandom is dying or whatever. They might even say "If we have the numbers then companies have to listen! You gotta reblog to make progress!" But that simply isn't true.

Companies had the numbers before the policy changes that stopped adult discussions online. They've *always* had the numbers. Those numbers have always been astronomical: They don't care. Literally the only thing you can do in the USA to promote explicit fanfic and fandom spaces is figure out the politics behind the puritanical purge of in-demand fan content and fight back politically with your votes.

But if you can't even do that, just talking about the explicit fics you loved is an act of rebellion. And if you're not free to speak, then simply *enjoying* that content is an act of rebellion.

You need not feel a single drop of guilt from a lack of a heart/like/reblog/recommendation. Just by reading the shit in the first place, you already joined the resistance, engaged in the rebellion, and you'll always be cool to me.

[eisforeidolon]

https://www.tumblr.com/eisforeidolon/728491554945269760/it-really-does-seem-that-getting-too-deep-into

Okay but this was totally my ask. Lol.

You expressed the issue so well. The only thing I’d like to point out is that this reactor is watching for the first time, not rewatching the series, so they don’t know how it ends yet.

Anyway, your points about symbolism and how they could have multiple meanings are great. And the fact that extreme shippers only find significance in the things that support their ship or head canon, or only interpret things in a way that will end where they want the story to go, is so frustrating.

Recent example: Sam and Dean are talking about Eileen. And Dean is encouraging Sam to go for a relationship with her, if not a family which they both suggest they don’t want during the convo, and Dean says, “She gets us. She gets the life.”

In response to this convo I see shippers saying things like, Dean is encouraging Sam to have a family (which he just said he didn’t want), to move on without him. This shows Dean is letting go of Sam (so he can move on with Castiel, naturally 🙄). I’m sorry, but what in the history of the show tells us that Dean would want Sam to move on without him (if Dean is still alive)? In this conversation they both literally rule out having a (traditional) family. And Dean says, “she understands us.” Us, being the unit that is Sam and Dean because they are a package deal. Then, Dean adds that she understands “the life.” Someone could interpret that Dean just means that she understands hunters, but then why say she understands “us” first. Dean, who calls a break “we time” does not want Sam away from him, rather he thinks Sam could add her in to they dynamic because she is a hunter (gets the life) and already sees what Sam and Dean are like (us). This in no way translates to Dean letting Sam go, so he can run off with Cas (who he sees as a less vital than Sam brother and who he’s currently mad at, btw).

So, yes, I’m doing some interpreting here myself, but mine aligns with what the show has showed us about these characters for 14 years, whereas hellers see Dean giving Sam his blessing to have a relationship (not a normal brother thing, btw), and think this means Dean is ready to move on from Sam and stop hunting. So much extra meaning is piled on that was not actually stated, and that is not supported by past actions.

It’s insane to me.

Anyway, sorry for the rant, but it’s just so good to see people who still have logic and can apply that when interpreting a show, text, moment or symbol.

And, it’s not the fact that they ship destiel that bugs me, but the fact that they spend do much time trying to prove it, and losing their minds over the most innocuous interactions, that they can’t see the forest for the trees. Then they get mad when they don’t get what they head-canoned.

It was a great ask! I didn't directly reblog because I felt like I was going on a bit too much of a long-ass tangent. I will totally be waiting for that update about how the watching reactor (and yeah, totally my bad on saying rewatch when obviously if they don't know the ending it's a first watch, whoops). Because if it makes you a bad person to want to bask in their well-earned completely unreasonable disappointment, whelp, I'm one, too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But yeah, I'm with you, I don't care if people ship things I don't like. I don't even really care when people come up with what I think is bad meta - though I do like to pick it apart on occasion or read someone else's thorough dismantling. No, the thing that really completely baffles me is how those extreme shippers' mindset leaps from "this is a thing I would really like to happen" to "this thing must be meant to happen (because I want it)". To the point where they seem to become genuinely blind to anything that doesn't support the conclusion they have decided literally everything must lead to. (Except in the even worse cases where they aren't blind but angrily venomous instead.)

Like your example above about Dean, Sam, and Eileen - never mind every single tangled up bit of Dean and Sam's relationship in the show to that point and beyond, never mind his actual words continuing to talk about them as an us. Dean is totally telling Sam to leave him for Eileen so he can go be with Cas, that's the only thing it could mean. Another is that scene where Dean's in the confessional booth in season ten. Never mind the pretext where he's trying to draw a spirit's attention making the earnestness of the entire thing questionable, never mind how he thinks he's under a death sentence with the MoC, never mind Dean and Castiel's actual canon relationship, never mind how entirely shitty and restricted his entire life has been - those shippers can't think of a single possible thing Dean Winchester might feel like he's missed out other than boning Castiel. Just ... imagine watching the Winchesters' lives and actually thinking that's literally the only thing it could be. There are a million more random moments like that where they build a clue out of very very pointedly ignoring everything but what they want a scene to mean. Then they try to insist because they have so many, all those interpretations are valid and it must be intended! But the consistent element isn't a storyline, it's their own refusal to consider that any other possibility exists over and over and over again.

Genre, themes, actual explicit narrative, alternate interpretations, creator statements - if it isn't in service of the ship? It either magically doesn't matter, will change SOON, or is some kind of enemy action that should be righteously fought against. As if because they've invested their time and energy into sort of following the story, its creators now owe it to them to do what they want. I legitimately don't get it at all. The massive blind spots or the massive entitlement.

[cousticks]

Yo! I'm Cou, like in Acoustic! That's where the 'cousticks' comes from (mind blown, yet?) I'm a whole 21 years old, and would prefer they/it pronouns.

This account is my dumping ground for fandom posting, including analysis, aus (which you can find a list of here), writing, doodles, and more! You can find some of this writing on AO3, too.

I follow back from the url 'causticacoustic', as this is one sideblog of several. Please do not be alarmed by a purple Master Chief icon following you out of nowhere, or leaving asks, that's me!

Minors are welcome, but I'd prefer only my 18+ friends DM me. 18+ mutuals are welcome to my discord, too! Just send me a DM.

I encourage talking to me. Be it via asks (anon or not!), comments, reblogs, DMs, whatever, I love conversation, I'm just a little incapable of starting it, usually.

More blog info below!

Content

This is mostly a BSD blog. In the future it may also contain other media. Vanitas no Carte is probably going to make an appearance eventually, who knows what'll come after that.

Other media interests I doubt I'll post about here include:

the Halo universe

FLCL (only the og. we don't talk about the reboots.)

Portal games

Dishonored games

bad action movies in general

and more!

I also have other non-media interests, but I won't clog this up with them. You should totally ask me about them though.

I don't post or reblog anything NSFW. This is 90% because I don't want to forget to tag something, 5% because I'm ace and don't really need that here, and 5% because I don't want to make this blog a place minors can't go.

Tagging

Honestly, I'm not great at tagging upsetting content. If you need something specific tagged then leave me a DM or ask (anon or not) or something and I'll try my best to keep a running list of what needs tagged and how (I keep a Google Doc for myself for my tagging system and will happily add your needed tags to it). Chances are, you'd be seeing violence or blood. If you're in the BSD fanbase, I'm kind of making a blanket assumption that you're okay with that when you interact around here. If not? Good luck, I guess.

I give all characters their own individualized tags. I'm working on making them all short song lyrics. Please feel free to ask about any tags you see! Characters that haven't been given lyric tags yet are given the tag 'placeholder [character] tag.' If they're an au-specified character, such as from Beast, its specifically 'beast [Character] tag'. I have a handful of AU and/or concept emoji tags. If I ever see it relevant enough, I'll make a key for them.

Drawings are tagged #doodles. 'Personal' not really content posts are tagged #sticky note. More put-together posts I intend to actually circulate in the world are tagged with the fandom and relevant characters / novels, ex. #bsd dazai, #bsd fifteen, etc. People I interact with frequently might find themselves with their own tags as well! Mutuals, please don't think I suck for not giving you a tag or something pretty pretty please. My brain is very tired so I'm limiting it to those that appear often I promise I'm not slighting you personally on purpose.

Asks

I love getting asks. They can be actual questions on my thoughts, chain mail, insults, little gifts, whatever. I don't care. I love them and will treat them all with care. I have anon enabled and will always have it enabled. I'm also a big fan of ask games and have a ton of them tagged under #ask games. Those are all active all the time forever (though if its an older one you'd have to specify) I just like having things to talk about. Please talk to me.

This is very long and says absolutely nothing. Please direct all questions, comments, or complaints to the ask box.

[fountainpenguin]

hi my friend shared one of ur rancher posts with me on twt and i went INSANE- so i wanted to know if u had a twt? (cause thats where im most active for ranchers stuff) :0

?? My post has broken containment??? Incredible. If that's the one I just posted tonight then that's insane skldjf

No, I deleted my Twitter back in like... 2019 or 2020? I was only there to keep up with publishers and PitMad but then I never used it... never looked back, ha ha.

You're welcome to hang around my blog if you like (I use the tag #Team Rancher for all my Rancher commentary, reblogged art, or original art and I like to think I have a pretty good tag system so you can follow me if interested and blacklist stuff from other fandoms you don't care about; I try to talk positively about my fandoms, keep things clean, and not hate on anything since I like having a peaceful fanspace I can sink myself in and step away from the outside world :) But I'm multi-fandom, so I've got a mixed amount of stuff and it's okay if that's not for you).

-> If you haven't looked yet, I encourage you to browse my Team Rancher tag and check out some of those awesome artists and fellow fandom members!

I do have a very active AO3 account. I regularly post MCYT and non-MCYT content there, but you can specifically subscribe to my Pixels Imperfect series on AO3 if you only want emails for my MCYT content. It's a series, but it doesn't have to be read in order (It's just where I keep all my "morally gray pixel people living their best lives despite the outside world being total anarchy" stuff).

Specifically, tomorrow I'm posting the first part of a short story called Criminal Experience and Chapter 1 involves Tango visiting Mumbo's llama farm. Jimmy's not there, but maybe you'll still enjoy if you like Tango, ranch animals, and/or are curious to see if you like my stuff and my Tango portrayal :) [EDIT - Link]

-> I also posted some Jimmy content this past Tuesday; he makes his first big appearance in Chapter 6 of Dog's Life.

Again, totally fine if this doesn't fit what you're looking for since I'm giving you "Tango content" and "Jimmy content" but not specifically "Team Rancher content"... that's just all I've got right now! But I love talking about them and their characterization and you're always welcome to hit me up if you like!

I don't have anything that is specifically Team Rancher on my to-do writing list, but I'm working behind the scenes on a "put all the Life series into a single coherent timeline and making everything as canon as possible" project, so there will probably be some Team Rancher there. It's Scar-centric so I only have the Clockers nailed down right now, but the Ranchers were my faves so they'll probably exist in some shape or form in that series.

That series is called Neighborhood Watch, though I don't have anything posted for it on AO3 yet so I can't link you that one :')

-> If you are a Team Rancher fanartist/fanwriter and you use Twitter to post Rancher content, feel free to reblog or reply to this post and self-advertise! (But keep this post sfw, please)

[Psp psp even if you don't use Twitter, feel free to reblog or reply because I'm firmly a Tumblr user but I'd also love more Team Rancher in my life <3]

I'm glad you enjoyed my post! I really like Team Rancher... they are just very kind to each other and I could talk for ages about how they passed Scott's compatibility test with flying colors even though he was trying to rig it so they break up SLDKFJSLDFJ <3 Tango and Jimmy were just super kind to each other and incredibly comedic... Double Life was such a fun series. I miss them.

I've got a ton of Rancher fanart reblogs in my drafts/queue but I'm trying to space them out to avoid slam-dunking my followers, sldkfj. We love Team Rancher in this household. Thanks for stopping by!

[csial]

CSIAL: a single muse, mutuals only rp blog featuring Osial, Overlord of the Vortex from Mhy's G.enshin Impact. Run by Charlie, 31, they/them, GMT.

If I'm not here, I can be found at the following: @resolutepath | @ncrthlandbank | @bardictales | @loiyaltie

I play g.enshin on the eu server, uid available for mutuals at request. I also play HSR & F.GO on EU servers and those uids are also available at request.

A STUDY IN: the burning embers of an ancient grudge, the ties that bind, the consequences of actions, that which lurks beneath the surface, living in the lion's den, coming to terms with a world you no longer belong to, jealousy and loyalty, biding one's time & the divine who did not rise.

AFFILIATES: daybreakrising (exclusive beisht)

MAINS: daybreakrising, maquiscursed (Shenhe, Neuvillette), vishapsking, alatusatlas / shameofice (Kosume), snowtombedstar / vagrantminor (Beidou) & sylvctica.

VERSES. || DOSSIER. || CONNECTIONS. || MEMES. || INTEREST CHECKER.

Rules beneath cut:

FOLLOWING; I follow people I want to write with / enjoy the style of writing of.  Takes me a while to follow back sometimes due to busyness, so please don’t be disheartened immediately if I don’t follow back on the same day especially as this is a low activity blog. No rules, no follow generally. I will not follow minors and tend to follow a 21+ rule generally. I also will not follow blogs that don’t use a tagging system as it prevents me being able to filter content for my dash should I need to. I will unfollow as needed to curate my own dash experience.

HARD NOS: teacher/student relationships, aged up minors exclusively for nsfw content, Kaeluc / incest, infidelity/cheating threads, pregnancy. I won't interact with any of the above. A personal trigger is cancer which I have blocked. I cultivate my dash for my experience and encourage you to do the same. I'm here to enjoy writing and I will softblock / unfollow if anything impedes on that. It's all about the experience.

REBLOGGING; Please don't reblog my hcs, I put a lot of work into them. Exceptions are if your muse is included / I wrote it for you as part of a meme. Reblogging to save things I have written for you if you enjoyed them is always okay (e.g. drabbles / hcs).

INTERACTION; Mutuals only. Inbox calls / memes / yelling at me on ims / discord about muse bonds are the easiest way to interact. Filling in the interest checker is also highly encouraged! If I see an inbox call I’ll like it, and  anyone I’m mutuals with is welcome to do the same whether we’ve  discussed or not. Same goes for memes. 100% support the idea of building pre-established bonds, I really enjoy having some idea of the vibe we’re going for, but absolutely happy to wing it too. I am slow. Things take me time and I write half my interactions out in notebooks on lunchbreak / while travelling so bear with me. This isn't my only blog.

DUPLICATES;  Great taste in your muse choice! Just for this muse I'm going to say I'm not particularly keen on engaging unless we are friends already. I've put a lot of work into building my Osial and I'd prefer not to interact with duplicates. Know I am cheering you on though, it's great to see others caring about him!

REPLIES/THREADS; Hobby not job. We go at our own pace here, replies happen when they  happen. I use queue/scheduling liberally. In terms of continuing asks, I  don’t mind continuing asks, but also will drop if I can’t see where  something is going. Please do the same!

SHIPPING; I’m invested in building relationships of all kinds, so please, if you'd like to ship (enemies, friends, allies, romantic etc.) reach out and let me know. I am open to exclusives for romantic ships only if the dynamic we build is strong and it makes my writing partner more comfortable and am unlikely to ship with more than 2/3 of any muse anyway. Osial is polyam and bisexual, and considers himself demiromantic. Beisht is always a part of his dynamics. See this hc for a full explanation. My Beisht is written by the incredible daybreakrising and we are exclusive.

SHIPPING PT II. While I have been hesitant in the past to discuss not s.fw content, I am open to currently providing we have an establised dynamic either ic and/or ooc (e.g. we're friends but you're not interacting with osial yet). Please bear in mind that it is something i will only discuss with people I am comfortable with. Suggestive content is still fine. We'll see where we get with threads etc., it'll likely depend person to person.

SPOILERS; Osial is in prison so he is never up to date in terms of content. That being said I will occasionally mention newer nations or characters and if these are recent releases I will tag anything spoiler-y.

[ashes-writing-corner]

Life update

Aka life sucks and I hate it

Tw for dark/suicidal thoughts (don't worry I haven't and will not do anything)

I'm trying so fucking hard to try and do better for myself. I've dedicated myself to a writing project, and one that I love, and I'm not getting anything for it. I don't know what to do for it. I get nothing. I get no likes. No reblogs. No followers. I actually lost one...out of SIX! Five followers on my writing blog and that's it.

I'm gonna try and keep things as organized here as I can because I am really damn emotional right now. I have had some really dark thoughts this morning and I don't know what to do.

For folks who don't know, I work at build a bear as my primary job. And I love it. I absolutely love it. It's been a big part of helping heal from some pretty bad stuff. The problem is I don't get a lot of hours. I get paid more than what I did when I was working fast food, but I don't work as much. I'm pretty sure you can see how this is a problem.

This is part of the reason why I started a patreon. I eventually do want to make writing content my full time job. I know it's not easy. And maybe I'm being a little hasty and expecting too much too fast, but I am in a pretty serious financial bind. I have a phone bill due, I have to put money on my bus pass so that I can continue to go to work. I also have a bearded dragon who I still need to get food and supplies for (no matter what he comes first. Mostly food. Little man eats better than I do). All the while I am struggling to feed myself and struggling to help my mom and my sister with bills. My mom's boyfriend is an abusive prick who barely does anything for her. He brings junk food to the table and that's about it.

I earn so little now that I practically can't even afford to put money away. I put any spare change I have away in a lock box so I can turn it in at the end of the month. But it's all getting to be too much.

And today it's just really hitting really hard. I can't get a second job because I can't handle two jobs that I can't control at the same time. I can write whenever I want so thats why I can handle juggling my job and this.

I thought when I moved my life up here to the north that I would get far more support. And it would seem so to anyone on the outside looking in. But since I announced my patreon launch, no one has supported me. No one has asked me how my writing is going. No one has asked me anything and barely given me any encouragement. I feel like no one actually cares. I feel like no one gives a damn except to make themselves look/feel good. And that sucks beyond words. It makes me feel used if I'm being honest.

My situation has actually gotten so bad that I seriously considered this morning trying to find a way to end it all. My parents down south hate me. My older sister doesn't speak to me even to check on me. And I thought that it was okay, that I didn't need them. I have my biomom and my sister up here and we help each other but it's just...not enough. I just feel very dark about everything right now. I'm not gonna do anything crazy, I don't have a means to and right now I'm just sad and feeling worthless and like I'm putting all this work in for nothing.

Essentially I'm working on two books at the same time. In addition to In the Heart of Winter, which I post here, I'm also posting lore on my patreon for my story to sort of help fill in the blanks for things I might not get around to in the story. And it's a lot of work. In addition, I also make the collages at the beginning of each new chapter, and I post those to my Instagram. Basically the only things I post there. I just...I feel like I'm doing all of this for nothing. And a part of me is wondering why the hell I'm even bothering.

And I tell that part of myself that I'm doing it because I want to. Because this is my dream. And dreams aren't easy. They're hard work and dedication. Even though I feel like my world is crashing down around me, I can't give up. I won't. It's not easy, but I've never needed easy. All I need right now is possible and that's what I'm going for.

If you can, if you read this far thanks, but if you can, please, please donate to my patreon, it's in my pinned post, and please follow my Instagram. Should also be linked or at least it's got the same name as my blog here. When/if I make a YouTube channel, I intend to link that too. I feel pathetic for this but I really feel like I don't have a choice.

Thank you

[triforce-of-mischief]

Hey! This is a trypanophobe lu x reader request, if you're still accepting those!

I was hoping for one with trypanophobe reader- 🐭💖✌️😮😣(mayyyybe 😫 but I'll leave that up to you), and for level of detail kinda both 💬 and 🙈? Like needs to know what's happening and how up until the moments before the actual happening, if that makes sense.

It's okay if you don't have time or don't wanna or if you gotta pick one of two I was stuck on for the last detail, because the trypanophobe stuff you already have out is awesome! I'm just excited to be here tbh

If it counts for anything, I also fit all 5 mentioned categories for who can make these requests XD

Thanks for your time!

Thank you so much for the request! Hope you enjoy! 💜

💛 Reblogs appreciated along with likes and comments!

💛 You can request your own scenario here!

💛 Content under the cut!

“Four? Four, wait, I don’t think I’m ready after all.”

He's a few steps ahead of you, and pauses right before he can enter the building. He looks back, concern filling his eyes when he sees you frozen in place. “What’s wrong? Do you feel dizzy at all? Like you can barely stand?”

You take a moment to evaluate yourself. Your chest feels tight, like an invisible force is constricting it. “A little? Not like I’m going to faint though, don’t worry. I just…” You take a deep, shaky breath. “I-it’s a bit hard to breathe,” you admit, and Four immediately returns to your side.

“That sounds like a mild panic attack,” he says, taking your hand and walking you to the door. “I’m afraid that you’re still going to have to do this, my love.”

You whimper and shuffle behind him, then you check in and sit down in the waiting room.

“Are you sure we can’t do this another day?” you try, gazing longingly at the door leading back outside.

“We’re already here,” Four points out. “It would be way worse to go through all of this anticipation just to delay for a few more days. I’m going to be with you every step of the way and you’re going to get through this, just as you do in all things.”

You sniffle and wipe away a tear. Your boyfriend is right, of course, and you trust him with all of your heart.

“Hey…” Four says your name at the same time as a nurse on the other side of the waiting room. He stands, pulling you up beside him. “Shall we?”

You really want to say no, but something in that gentle, caring expression encourages you to follow him. You try to imitate his confident posture and steady pace as you follow the nurse down the hall and into the room. Four keeps holding your hand as you enter and take a seat while the provider sets out the last of their equipment. You make sure to not look in that direction, instead setting your attention on your fingers intertwined with Four’s. He notices your trembling and smooths his thumb over your knuckles.

“Just like that, darling. Keep your attention on me,” Four says.

The provider asks, “Which arm do you prefer?”

You blink confusedly at Four, who tells the provider which hand is your dominant one.

“That makes sense,” you mutter. No need to put your dominant arm out of commission.

“Mm-hmm,” Four hums, the cadence soothing you further. He then tells you what the provider is doing as they complete every step of preparation.

“They’re feeling your arm now… they’re tying a tourniquet just above your elbow, it might feel a bit tight but that’s good, it’ll help make it faster… here’s just a cleaning wipe, it’ll be cold for a second.”

With your arm ready, you know what comes next. You realize that you're crying now, but Four cups your cheek, catching the tears before they can fall. You hiccup, then swallow and say, “Four, can you please-”

“Of course, dear,” he murmurs, leaning over until he is resting against your side. “Breathe with me,” he prompts, and you feel and follow his rhythm.

“Breathe in…” You both do, squeezing each other’s hands.

“And out.” The air leaves you, slow and steady, and you feel a prick of pain in your non-dominant arm.

“You’re doing wonderful, sweetheart! That was the hardest part, now you only have to wait. Which reminds me, did I ever tell you about the time when the Minish secretly kept me entertained during the most boring wait of my life?”

You rest your head on top of Four’s, nuzzling his hair with your cheek. “I don’t think you have, love. Tell me, please?”

Four launches into his story and the discomfort in your arm fades as you listen until you barely feel any pain at all. Before you know it, you feel a tug, then faint pressure as the provider holds a cotton ball to the site.

“If you don’t have any issues in a few minutes, you’ll be free to leave,” the provider says as they wrap a bandage around your arm.

“You did it,” Four whispers.

“I did it,” you repeat with an incredulous giggle.

Four looks up, a warm rainbow of colors swirling in his eyes. “And I’m so proud of you!”

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Shades of Winter - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You finally get to meet James Bucky Barnes. You two are an instant click but would this eventually lead to something good or something bad?

Word Count: 3140

Warnings: The reader talks about past memories such as: kidnapping, torture, starvation, violence. A bit of angst. Also If you like the Hobbit movies, I'm so sorry (yes this is tw) Also if there is anything else let me know.

Author’s Note: A little bit more in-depth on who y/n is in my Bucky fics. Other than that this has been in my archives for a hot minute so.

reblogs/feedback/likes are greatly appreciated & highly encouraged! But please, DO NOT repost/steal ANY of my fics!

It has been a couple of years since you returned to the Avengers Quarters. You had been on the run before the blipped happened. But you have finally told yourself that enough is enough. You always knew that the Avengers would be your family, so you decided to go back to them.

The first person you were excited to see after a while was Sam. So, you decided to go to his hometown and give him a visit.

When you arrived, you notice that there was a party. You felt a little bit left out. But you pushed those feelings aside since Sam didn’t know that you were coming along as well.

Once you laid your eyes on Sam, you knew that you needed to sneak up on him and scare him.

There was loud music playing in the background, so you took that as an advantage. You quietly sneak up to Sam, getting on your toes as you try to cover his eyes.

Sam turns around, putting up his guard. When he notices that you tried to sneak up on him, you could see the relief on his face. He didn’t think twice but to hug you. “Where have you been? You go incognito mode and don’t visit me. I’ve been worried about you.”

You hug him back, “I just needed a break from the world and traveled a bit.” You chuckled a little bit. “But I’m back and better than ever.”

He starts to ramble as you two catch each other up on everything that has happened the past couple of years. You two start to walk up to the docks. You notice how beautiful it was with the sun setting how the sun reflected on the water. You were amazed.

“Hey, I’ll be back. Do you want anything to eat?” Sam pointed to the table that had nothing but plates of food in it. Your small smiled formed on your face as you shook your head.

Walking around, you notice so many little kids running around and having fun. It was such a positive place to be. You could feel the aura around you just filled with joy.

Without noticing where you were walking, you bump into someone. “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t-“ you look back at him. The first thing that you noticed was his ocean blue eyes. You could stare at those eyes for hours.

Breaking the eye contact, you took a few steps back so that you wouldn’t be close to him anymore. “I’m Bucky.” He places his hands in the pockets of his black jean jacket. There was a smirk on his face.

“uh, y/n” you had a confused smile on your face.

“y/n,” Bucky says in a deep flirty tone of voice, he looks around, and that smirk became a smile. “I’ll see you around y/n,” he winked as he walked away.

Why did your name sound so much better when he said it. Something about him made you curious. You were on the fence if whether or not you wanted to know more about him or just let him be a mystery. But either way, you knew the moment you bumped into him, Bucky was going to become a trouble.

During the blip, when you helped, there would be moments that Steve would tell stories of Bucky when they were younger. In those stories, Steve would describe him as the most caring friend and always attached to a book such as The Hobbit.

Throughout the day, you would occasionally interact with Bucky. He would ask you random questions such as what your favorite color was? What flowers did you like? He wanted to get to know you.

“So, you are telling me that I should watch the movies and how there are three of them.” Bucky takes a sip of his drink.

You chuckled a little bit “yes, I like the book versions better. But it’s so nice seeing them come to life.”

“I’ll make a note of that, Doll.”

Going back home, you never expected to talk to Bucky again. You didn't have any of his contact information either way, and he didn't have yours.

A couple of days pass by when you receive a message from an unknown number.

10:38 AM "hey there, are you busy this afternoon?"

You decided to ignore the message; it might have been sent to someone else instead of you.

10:45 AM "shit, sorry, It's Bucky."

The moment that you read that, it was Bucky that sent you that message. You wondered how he got your number. Could it have been Steve? Sam? Nat? That gave him your number.

These thoughts were running through your head and were interrupted by that number calling you.

"So, are you busy this afternoon?"

"No, Hi, how are you? How is life? Just going right to asking me what I'm doing this afternoon, what a great start James." You said in an annoying tone of voice.

"Hi, Doll. How are you? There is that better," he said in a mocking voice. Even though you couldn't see him, you could tell that he was rolling his eyes.

You wanted to hang up, but a part of you didn't want to do it. "So much better, thank you." You said sarcastically. "I'm doing nothing later. I'm probably just going to go home and make some dinner."

"You can always say no. But I just bought the three Hobbit movies, and I wondered if you wanted to watch them with me? And Tony is throwing a party tomorrow, and I thought if you wanted to go."

This took you by surprise, it hasn't been an entire week of knowing him, and he is already asking you over to his apartment. "Yeah, that would be fun," you said once again sarcastically. You didn't mean to sound it like that.

When you agreed that you would watch the series with him and to the party, a part of you knew that you had done something you might regret in the long run, but the other part you wanted to see where this would take you, and you wanted to explore it. Something about him made you curious, and you wanted to know why. Why, out of all the people that you had met, he is the one that sparks curiosity in you.

Once again, these thoughts are interrupted by him "I didn't hear a no, so I'm assuming you said yes. I'll send you my address. Meet me here in two hours." He hangs up.

Two hours pass by, and you were unsure what to bring, so you brought a couple of snacks. Walking into Bucky's apartment, there weren't many decorations. It seemed like he had just moved in. There wasn't much besides a small sofa and a tv. It was a very dark place with little to no light coming through.

Bucky notices that you were looking around "sorry if I had more time, I would have cleaned a bit better."

Your eyes widen as you were confused. You look around once again. His place was way cleaner than what your apartment looked like. "you consider this dirty. You should see mine" Bucky goes near the light switch and turns on the lights of the kitchen.

The instant he turned on the lights, that's when you notice what he was wearing. He was wearing a white muscle shirt with a pair of gym shorts, and his hair was messy, and you were able to tell that he had a couple of curls.

If heart eyes were a thing, you would have had them at this exact moment. Bucky was way more handsome than he was when you first met him. As the thoughts continued through your head, you knew that you needed to stop them before you ended up drooling over him.

He points to his bedroom. "I'm going to go change. I have to hide this." He was referring to his left arm. He wasn't sure how you would react to it, and he thought that he should have worn something to cover it before you decided to show up.

You grab the wrist of his metal arm. "It's okay. I don't mind. Besides that, I think it makes you more attractive" the moment that the word attractive escaped your mouth, you could feel your cheeks turn red and your body heat rise. Why did you say that? Especially towards him. Your mind was full of regrets, but at the same time, you didn't care because he was truly attractive.

Bucky covers his mouth with his right hand, trying to cover his laugh. You playfully hit his arm "this isn't funny, Bucky. I'm so close to turning around and making you watch the Hobbit alone." You crossed your arms together. You were getting annoyed with him. All you wanted to do was come over and watch movies with him.

"Fine, I'll stop. But it doesn't mean that I'm not going to hold this against you." Bucky chuckled.

Bucky goes to his bedroom, brings a blanket, and tries to ensure that his place can be as cosey as possible, even though it was dark.

Halfway through the third movie, you could see that he was extremely disappointed. If he could rate the movie, you would 100% be sure he would give it a -1000 rate. "Why the fuck did Peter tell me that these were great. They are complete garbage" Bucky raises his voice. Deep down, he did enjoy the movies. He just wanted to see a reaction out of you. But you were calm since this was your 5th time watching these films.

You couldn't help but laugh at how disappointed Bucky was. He turns to face you and notices the face of amusement you had on "this isn't a joke, Doll. I thought they would be great." He rolls his eyes.

When the movie ended, he put on the sports channel and started to watch it. As much as you loved watching sports, you slowly went to sleep. You felt comfortable around him. It had only been a couple of days that you had met him, so you found it odd.

You fell asleep on his right shoulder. When Bucky felt that you placed your head on his shoulder, a small smile formed on his face, he was unsure why he felt comfortable with you. But he knows that you were going to be one heck of trouble from now on.

Bucky looks at you and notices that you were fast asleep. He can't help but to carry you in his arms and take you to his bed. He made sure to tuck you in.

After he tucked you in, he went back to the living room and continued to watch his sports.

------------------

Around midnight, you woke up. Not because you had a nightmare, but because you felt like you were in an unknown location. As soon as you woke up, you panicked and started to look around. You immediately went into fight or flight mode in case If you were in danger. Walking outside of the bedroom, you notice Bucky was sleeping on the floor.

Seeing him on the floor, you drastically put your guard down. You sighed in relief that you were with him and no one else. You go into the kitchen to grab a mug to make yourself tea. When you prepared your tea, you went back to Bucky's bedroom and opened the window outside to let some fresh air in. You wrapped yourself with the blanket Bucky gave you, and you held your knees up to your chest as you drank from the mug.

This was the first time you had ever woken up without having a nightmare. You wondered why was it because of Bucky? As your thoughts were running, you could hear someone come into the room. You turn around and notice it was Bucky. "Someone is up early." He chuckled.

A smile formed on your face. "It looks like you are up early too" you rolled your eyes.

There was silence between you and him. You hated being silent, but with him, you didn't mind.

"Is everything alright?" Bucky whispered. You turn your head towards him, and you nodded. "you can tell me anything, you know." He places his hand on your shoulder.

You lift your eyebrows, unsure if he was messing around with you. "I just met you, like yesterday. Why would I-"

"Five days ago, to be exacted." He said in a snarky tone of voice as he interrupted you.

"Fine, you want to know.” You looked away from him because you knew you would start being vulnerable, and you didn't want to see Bucky's reaction or what face he was making. “For the longest time, I've had nightmares back-to-back. But oddly enough, tonight I didn't have any."

"if you don't mind me asking," Bucky takes a big gulp before saying anything. He knew that you were a bit uncomfortable, and he didn't want to push you. "Why do you have nightmares?" "I used to have them constantly because of who I was. It took me time to understand that the winter soldier wasn't me, and jeez, till this day, there would be moments where I doubt myself, but I'm getting better."

Hearing him tell you a little bit of himself made you feel more at ease. You take a big breath before you start telling him why you would have these nightmares. "At a very young age, both of my parents were killed. My brother died as well, trying to protect us. One of the Hydra agents forcefully made me go to one of their camps. I fought for the first couple of months, trying to get out. But eventually, I gave up. I thought they provided me a roof to stay under, and even though they barely fed me, I was somewhat grateful. I could have it worse. They taught me how to fight, how to hold a gun, etc. When I was a teen, I was tortured, starved more than before, and experimented on."

He grabs your hand and tries his best to comfort you. He knew that this was a lot for you to tell him. "They wanted to see if they could make me into a mutant but with every little alternation of genetics. Nothing worked. Even if it did, I didn't want them to know about it. At that point, I just was numb; I didn't want to live anymore. So I let things happen to me. Hoping one day my body just gave up. Till this day, some of those things that they did I don't remember, nor I want to." You take a small pause as you heard yourself. You felt so comfortable telling him about your past.

Your voice started to crack as you thought more about your past. You tried your best not to cry. "After I escaped, I moved to Washington, Nat found me there, and I started to work at SHIELD. Nat was the only person that knew me and helped me get better."

Bucky was unsure how to react to what you had just told him. He had mixed emotions. He didn't know why he felt anger, sadness, grief, and disappointing feelings towards you. But he knew that it took you a lot of courage to tell him all of these things. He sits on the floor next to you and hugs you. The second that he hugged you, you couldn't help but cry. He was the second person to know your story. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I shouldn't have told you. You've been through much worse, and I wish you didn't-"

"Doll, don't apologize. None of this was your fault. I'm glad that you told me. We both didn't deserve anything of that." he held you for a couple of more minutes and let you cry. He wanted to tell you more, that he was glad that you left when you had the chance. That he hated that you were in that position, he wanted to comfort you. He couldn't find the words. So all he did was hold you.

After a couple of minutes, you were grateful that he listened to every word you said. But you were mentally exhausted, and you just wanted to go to bed. You got up and placed the cup on the nightstand, and started to get ready to leave. When Bucky grabs your arm, "stay the night, it's already late enough to walk around." His voice was small and a bit shaky. "You can stay in my bed, and I can sleep on the floor. Please stay."

You agreed to stay the night with him, and he goes to his closet and grabs you some clothes to sleep comfortably. They fit all baggy on you, but you didn't care. You didn't want to sleep uncomfortably. The moment you got out of the bathroom, Bucky chuckled as he looked how big his clothes looked on you. You ended up rolling your eyes.

Bucky laid on the floor next to his bed. As you were closing your eyes, you felt some guilt, so you look to where Bucky was lying. "Buck, come up here." You whispered.

"Nah, I'm comfortable sleeping on the floor." He turns around, facing away from you.

You grab a pillow and throw it to him "well, I'm not. So get your ass up here before I drag you."

"I would like to see you try, Doll." He chuckled. Once again, you threw another pillow at him, accidentally hitting his head. "Fine, I'm going." He grunted.

Lucky enough Bucky had a queen bed. So you had enough room for yourself and him. "One thing, don't invade my bubble, and we won't end up fighting. Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go to sleep."

Within minutes you two were in a deep sleep.

-------------------------

When you two finally arrived at Tony’s Party. Bucky couldn’t help but be curious about what was happening between the two of you.

He couldn’t help it anymore. He decided to ask you, “So, what are we?”

“What do you mean what are we, Bucky?” there was a confused smile on your face.

“yeah, like are we friends, or I don’t know?” he nervously laughed, unsure if he should be asking this.

You laughed a little “Friends is a bit too much. I don’t think we are there yet.” You teased him. You gently punched his arm.

“Are we acquaintances?”

“I like that. We are for sure acquaintances.” You chuckled.

“you think it’s funny, but I can live with that, Doll.” He shrugs his shoulders.

And just like that, two strangers who never planned on caring for one another became the most inseparable pair.

[eisforeidolon]

You're so right, re: the sheer idiocy and arrogance of certain stans in different fandom factions claiming to be better or superior to others.

Just a few hours ago I saw an ask by a Jared stan complaining about Jensen wearing skinny jeans/pants (which is absurd to begin with, but I digress... apparently these people have nothing else going on in their lifes). They then went on to say, and I quote, "Is he really that full of himself that he doesn't notice that those pants bring out his fat thighs and bowlegs?"

So even Jensen's choice in pants is apparently an indicator now of how "full of himself he is", since he doesn't even notice his (non-existent) "fat thighs" and should be hiding his bow legs. Riiight. Sure, Jan.

I'm not even going to touch on the bodyshaming or the "mean girl developmentally stuck in middle school" vibes of it all (or the mind-boggling factual wrongness, considering the man has and always had pretty skinny legs).

And who liked/reblogged/commented on this without taking any issue whatsoever with what was said?

The usual people who like to claim that what they post isn't hate, "just criticism", and anyone who disagrees with them lacks critical thinking skills and just can't compete with their superior intellect (this one's particularly hilarious to me, as I've seen more intelligent and coherent takes even from hellers than 95% of what these people's blogs consist of... and also, if you constantly feel the need to keep saying how much smarter you are than everybody else... then it's probably not true :))

Also saw quite a few of Jared stans wanting to enact revenge on the verified journalist who called Jared homophobic on twitter based on what he said at Denver con. The words "get her fired" were uttered (though they've now been removed by the person who said that), among with encouraging people to write to her employer. While I in no way think Jared is homophobic and also think the "journalist" is an idiot to base her entire opinion on Jared on this one admittedly slightly messy word salad moment, this is still utterly vile and unacceptable. Lots of people are idiots who base their opinions on snippets they hear without doing any further research (even journalists, clearly) and that won't change any time soon. People still call Jensen homophobic for the anti Destiel things he said for the same reasons. That still does not make it okay in any way to try to get people fired, to doxx them or anything else along these lines.

But sure, you're so much better than other nasty assholes in the fandom. You can miss me with that bullshit, I'll believe it the day Misha suddenly turns into a decent person or confirms his super secret marriage to Jensen (aka never).

It really does baffle me how they can't see that yes, it is actually the same dumb shit when they do it, too. When it's Jared, every negative comment, no matter how petty, is hurtful and fair game to be mocked. When it's Jensen, it's just CRAZY anybody might care unless it's literally slander and death threats. Only their butthurt matters for reasons - which is what all the stan groups tell themselves to justify their own bad behavior. *I* am entitled to be an ass because people are SO MEEN to Jared/Jensen/Misha, *they* are just awful! It literally doesn't matter that Jared legit gets the worst shit, that doesn't actually oblige the rest of the fandom to just sit quietly while they act as dickishly as they decide they're entitled to on any given day. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Whining that they think Jensen's pants look bad because they emphasize a feature most of his fans actually like? Seriously? Just ... I really do not understand how people don't get that they're the joke if they post something that embarrassingly stupid. Like, you can see it when someone prattles on about how Jared totally sits in chairs wrong, but ... *whoosh*. I mean, I've seen some pretty dumb shit from hellers over the years so I still see a win in The Dumbest Stans Olympics as pretty far out of reach. However, I definitely agree that people who make a point of constantly telling you how intelligent or nice they are? Red flags a wavin'. I have seen my fair share of bragging from people who only really look all that intelligent, logical, and discerning if you're comparing them to Goob. And if that's your standard, you might as well just glue googly eyes on a rock and praise its intelligence because it can't make a fool of itself on a consistent basis.

As to the idiot journalist, I don't think we agree on that one beyond the fact that actual doxxing is never okay. In this case, the person’s professional name and  a publication are visible directly on the twitter where those posts of libelous nonsense over a fictional ship are being put. This “journalist” doesn't even know enough about the subject to know which actor is meant, let alone to understand that tweeted garbage is dead wrong regardless. For a journalist, that level of not giving a single solitary fuck about facts? Is grossly incompetent and calls the ability to do a job in that field into question. Sure it's just a tweet, but it does beg the question of what else the “journalist” isn't bothering to do the work on while happily slapping a professional name and reputation on anyway. So no, I don't feel sorry about the twitter getting spammed by angry stans calling that stupidity out. I don't even think it's out of line for them to contact the employer the “journalist” personally chose to link, pointing out that they’re being publicly associated with unprofessional, incompetent, libelistic conduct. If they were digging up employers that weren’t intentionally directly tied to the twitter where the tweet was made, that would be different.

[storyofmychoices]

Home: Where She Belongs

[Levi Schuler x Laura Day Masterlist]

Pairing: Levi Schuler x Laura Day [F!MC] with Lily (daughter) Book: Mother of the Year (chapter 16) Word Count: <1,600 (sorry it's a big long!) Rating: General

Prompts: @choicesaugustchallenge relaxation; @choicesbookclub : MOTY Replay Chapter 16 ; @wackydrabbles #108 (prompt in bold)

A/N: As a whole MOTY is a solid book, but one thing that I hated was the fact that instead of going home with her daughter after winning the court case MC sneaks off with her LI for a 30 diamond scene. I love those scenes, but that wasn't the time.

Synopsis: Following the celebration with their friends over the court case win, Laura and Lily head home for a private celebration, knowing they had won and no one would keep them apart. [Fluff with some comfort/care]

Bliss. Laura thought after some consideration. That's what this is—bliss.

Her body fluttered with a pleasant warmth that enveloped her in its comfort and relaxation. She breathed easily for the first time in weeks, the weight of the world no longer on her shoulders. She could simply enjoy the moment without worry of tomorrow.

She knew better than to expect the future to be sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, but for the moment, this was enough—actually, it was more than enough—it was perfect. The outcome might not have been everything she wanted, but it was better than what she feared. Lily was hers, and she always would be.

The voices of her friends surrounded her. They had all been eager to join in for a celebratory dinner. She had never needed to ask them to be there; they just were. She wondered how she and Lily would have survived in Goldcliffe without them; thankfully, they'd never need to figure it out.

Laura leaned forward, resting her chin on the back of her hand as she watched Levi play a game with Lily and Luz across the table. Their laughter was a melody in the night air, one that filled her heart with joy. Her eyes glistened in the dimming light. She wondered if the smile etched on her face would ever fade.

Lily's mouth opened, a silent yawn slipping out between excited explanations of her science fair project and how her newly rebuilt rocket was better than the previous one.

"It's late," Laura finally said, interrupting their game. "You've had a big day, my Stargirl. We both have. How about we head home?" Home—Laura couldn't help but smile at the word. Lily was going home with her, where she belonged.

"Okay," Lily agreed, without any complaining, knowing they had already planned their own little private celebration.

Laura said her goodbyes, thanking her friends once more for all they had done. Lily made her rounds, giving hugs and reminding everyone of the upcoming science fair.

"Thank you," Laura whispered as Levi drew her into his arms, holding her safely. "I couldn't have survived this without you."

"As much as my ego thanks you for that, you're the strongest person I know. You can survive anything." He brushed a kiss on her forehead as he leaned back, his attention turning to Lily. He pulled her into a bear hug that lifted her off the ground, causing her to giggle into his shoulder. "Goodnight, Rocket. I'm glad we'll still get to be neighbors. I'd hate to lose my partner in crime."

"I'm glad I get to stay too!" Lily beamed. "Do you want to come have celebration hot chocolate with us?"

"Celebration hot chocolate?" Levi set her back on the ground and bent down to her level. "I don't want to mess up whatever you and your mom have planned. You two have fun."

"But, there's extra marshmallows!!!" Her eyes widened, pleading with him.

"Extra marshmallows, huh?"

Lily nodded enthusiastically. "And whipped cream. And cinnamon! And chocolate syrup!"

"Wow. That is tempting." His gaze shifted to Laura, who was attempting to hide her smile behind her hands. "Are you sure?"

"Yes! You have to come!" She insisted, slipping her hand into his. "Right, mom?"

"I think she's right. I mean, how can you argue against celebration hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, whipped cream, chocolate syrup, AND cinnamon?" Laura shrugged in defeat as if though there were no other options than to accept.

"Then, there's nowhere else I'd rather be," Levi decided.

It didn't take long for the water to heat once they returned home. They worked together, moving through the kitchen as if it had always been like this—the three of them. Levi got the mugs ready with the powdered chocolate mix. Laura carefully poured water into each, leaving plenty of room for Lily to add all the toppings.

Marshmallows rained down over the three cups as she scooped large handfuls onto each mug. Lily grinned excitedly as she tipped the can of whipped cream, creating white, fluffy mountains, with one peak noticeably higher than the others.

"Do you think you need that much sugar before bed?" Laura questioned with a raise of her brow.

Lily's eyes widened, and she nodded enthusiastically. "It's a celebration!"

"Just this once!" Laura kissed the top of her daughter's head, her fingers trailing through her silky, black hair. Every day had always been a treasure with Lily, but now more so than ever. She would never take a second of their time together for granted.

Lily sprinkled cinnamon on hers and her mom's cups. "Do you want some, Levi?"

"Hmm‚" he pondered. He dipped his fingers through her cinnamon-dusted, whipped cream ridge, sampling it. "Mmm, that is good!"

"Hey!" Lily pouted. "No fair."

Levi laughed, a playful smirk pulling at his lips. He scooped up some of the fluffy topping off of his cup and dotted it on her nose. "Better?"

Lily's mouth fell open in surprise. Her hand was on the can of whipped cream again. The nozzle pointing at Levi, her finger hovering dangerously on the trigger, ready to set it off with the slightest change in pressure.

Their gaze narrowed at one another, the corners of their lips pulling up as silence fell in the kitchen.

"If it's war you want—" Lily began, breaking the quiet. "Then you shall have it."

Levi grabbed the plastic container of chocolate syrup, holding it up. "Two can play at that game, Rocket."

Lily stood in her chair, keeping her finger carefully on the nozzle. "I have the high ground."

Before he could respond, Laura stepped in, snatching both containers from them.

"Mom!"

"Laura," Levi moaned, matching Lily's tone but adding a teasing wink.

"You two are trouble!"

"Only the best kind of trouble, right?" Levi took his mug and lifted it up. "What do you say, rocket—partners in crime still?"

Lily lifted her mug, clinking it against his. "Space partners in crime," she added.

"How could I forget?" He took a sip of his cocoa as Lily did the same. Both of them ended up with whipped cream on their noses.

Laura sighed happily, watching the two most important people in her world laugh effortlessly together.

After about an hour of Lily vibrating from her sugar high and rattling off the names of all the stars in the night sky above them, she finally crashed on the couch. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth still attempted to finish the list.

"I think it's time for bed, my little astronomer." Laura helped her sleepy daughter to her room to get ready for bed. She tucked her carefully under the covers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Good night, my beautiful girl. I love you to Andromeda and back."

She paused at the door, taking another look back. A part of her worried she'd never have this moment again. The sight of Lily safely asleep in her bed, the glow-in-the-dark stars above her keeping watch as her daughter dreamt dreams bigger than she could ever imagine.

When she returned, she found Levi where she left him on the couch. She curled into his arms.

He brushed her hair back, kissing the crown of her head. "What do you need? What can I do for you? Lily wasn't the only one with a big day."

"This," she whispered, closing her eyes as she breathed in his scent. "Just hold me."

"Done." He hugged her closer, wrapping her in his warmth. His fingers caressed her back, massaging her tenderly. "I won't let go. I love you, Laura—you 'n Lily, more than I could've thought possible."

Her body trembled, and she let out a sharp cry. The tears she had pushed down all day erupted at the sound of his confession.

"Shh, it's okay. I've got you."

She buried her face in his chest, hoping to quell the tears that kept coming, not wanting to wake Lily.

"It's okay. You did good. Lily is safe. You're safe. It's going to be okay." He continued whispering tender encouragement in her ear as he kept her close, allowing the weeks of frustration and heartbreak to pour out.

Slowly, her breathing steadied, and her sobs subsided.

"That's it. You need sleep. Come on." He lifted her into his arms, much to her surprise. His brow arched as he caught her eye. "What? I said I wouldn't let go."

She nuzzled back into his neck. "Thank you...for everything."

"Shh, just rest." He carried her to her room at the end of the short hall, placing her down on the edge of the bed. He ran his thumb over her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears.

Her eyes were red and swollen. "Stay?"

"Are you sure?"

She stood to meet him, wobbling a little, not realizing how tired she was, but he was there to support her. She cupped his face. "I've never been more sure. I love you, Levi."

He kissed her softly. "Okay. Who am I to disagree with what the lady wants."

"Good. I'm not ready for you to let go yet." Laura slipped out of her clothes, grabbing a baggy t-shirt to put on.

"Great band!" Levi noted as he took off his pants and shirt and slid into bed. "I have the same shirt at home."

"No, you don't—" Laura climbed in, nestling into him once more. "—because this one's yours."

He breathed out a laugh as he rested his head on hers. He held her close, humming softly until she finally fell asleep in his arms.

Thank you for reading! I appreciate your support. Likes, reblogs, and comments are always amazing and make my day!

I hope you enjoyed this story. (Don't worry, Laura and Levi will still get their 30 diamond scene... that night just didn't feel appropriate for it).

Tags in a reblog, please let me know if you want to be added or removed!

[deepperplexity]

I see that you are hurt by dumb dramatic readers and it honestly makes me so sad because you are so brilliant and amazing and I look forward to everything you do~ ❤

I'm not hurt but pissed off tbh, and it takes a bit before I get there so... And not for myself as much as for others. I just don't understand why it's so difficult to read those 5-50 words that tell you what you need to know...

For myself it's more the audacity of some readers to demand a second part, a new chapter or another book as their first interaction with me - no likes, no comments, no reblogs, nothing at all - and then they come inte my inbox or DMs, or they comment somewhere with "I want a third book" or "Do a second part to this! I need it!" - excuse you?! The audacity of some.

Now, I know my readers, I know some are too shy to comment or interact and I know some devour everything I post while being invisible and that's okay, that's their choice even if it does contribute to creators not creating content anymore, but to not exist and then BOOM come and demand things of me? Um, no. And, to think there will be new content when it's not encouraged from the start or somewhere along the way? Again, no.

We, fandom creators, do everything for free. We labour for hours upon hours and spend extreme amounts of time, though, feelings and energy on our creations and trust me that will not last if there is nothing given back by the consumers - throw in sudden rude demands and creators will absolutely say "goodbye, I've had enough".

I've been close a few times, to just pack it up and not do this anymore. The thing keeping me going are all my loyalists. The ones who always comment, always interact, always takes those extra minutes to give something back almost each and every time. There aren't many as I write for very small fandoms, with a very specific writing style, but my loyalists are AMAZING. Some have even gone so far as to make me fanart for my fics and that still blows my mind. Sometimes I think of that when I feel like it's not worth it.

But, the thing is, I still get people who are demanding things (and I don't mean "Will you make a part two of this? It was so good I absolutely loved it! +Kudos/like +reblog" but the "Make a part two!" from new ppl who haven't shown any previous hints of existing and has done nothing to show they appreciate my work) and it drains me of my creativity. My will and want to create.

We are human. We have thoughts, feelings, wants and needs - that's where all the creative stuff we make comes from in the first place. That needs to be replenished, needs to be cared for and nurtured. That consumers aren't even willing to read the provided information, that is there for their benefit, and then proceed to comment in a way that is hurtful to the creator when the creator has done their job that isn't even an obligation but a courtesy is like expecting a colourful piece of art to take form when all you give the creator to work with is dried up brushes and a bucket of grey paint, if even that. You can't create a colourful rainbow like that...

I guess I'm just angry that some don't even take a second to think about what they are commenting, what they are saying or demanding of another human that works for free for your entertainment... You can't even say "Thank you" or press a button to share the thing you enjoyed? But you can deman them to work more, work harder and give you what you want without consideration for them?

(If you who are reading this feel attacked by this, think about why you feel attacked... Why you feel guilty... Why you are angered about these words... Think about it.)

And Nonny, THANK YOU FOR YOUR CARE DARLING! You are so sweet and I am very grateful to have people like you here. I hope you'll continue to enjoy my work for as long as it's here and as long as I keep producing new stuff ♥️ Thank you so much for your care and I hope this wasn't a far too long reply and I do feel a little silly because this got a little out of hand. I'm just so angry for creators. 😞♥️

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

🐇 : || RULES

Hello Hello ! Good morning, afternoon or night, depending on where you are! I see you've found my rules list! Thank you! I really appreciate you coming down here to read this for me! I'll try to spare you from having to read me prattling on, but I'd just like to get an introduction for myself out of the way; then we can get into the fun stuff!

Also, though it's not vital, please know I WILL NEVER BE MAD AT YOU IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY BREAK A RULE. I know it's easy to look at these rules as an ' if you cross, you die , ' sort of deal; however, trust me, I get it! I've accidentally broken rules, and I've had my rules broken; to err is to be human. If you make a mistake, we can always move past it. Just try your best, okay? It's all about respect and trying!

INTRODUCTION

Anyways! Hello! My name is Bunnighuleh; it's a pleasure to meet you all! But you can call me Bun or Bunni, or just outright Bunnighuleh if you'd prefer! I'm a 21-year-old, college student studying full-time! I mainly go by she/her and they/them pronouns, but I really don't care about labels, and you can call me anything you'd like!

BASICS

Respect my muses’ boundaries.

Respect my personal boundaries.

If there’s one thing I am, it’s slow; please respect that. It's nothing personal. I am just a perfectionist, I study full-time and my interest and energy are fleeting.

Please be nice! This is non-negotiable. I don't care if your muses are rude; I mean, I play Kondraki for god sake; however, OOC I expect you to at least give me common courtesy. Rudeness is not tolerated.

Please, please, please don't use me as a meme/musing source! The occasional reblog is not a big deal, however, I've recently experienced problems with backlogs of reblogs clogging up my notifications, so please go directly to the source!

I am multi-ship and a bit of a shipping whore to be honest. However, I do not auto-ship based on the canon; sometimes I will ship my muses with one another and give them interwoven stories. Sometimes this will mean my muses are not open to being shipped with; other times this means those characters can't be interacted with unless you accept this pre-established relationship. Of course- I will never force these relationships on you. However, please do respect them and my ability to ship or not ship my characters.

I also do what I want! It sounds silly, but my blog is highly canon-divergent and headcanon based. If you don't like that, that's okay, but don't try to get on my back over it!

I am very crossover friendly! If a verse isn't outright written about in the characters, then ask me about it! I can always whip something up for you!

I am 21+, and all of my muses are 18+ ( and often horror-centred ), so NSFW in terms of uncomfortable themes and sometimes straight-up smut WILL occur. If this isn't alright with you, please leave now!

Like I said before, I am uncomfortable with minors interacting because of the sheer nature of this blog, so please, if you are under 18, leave now.

Likewise, I do explore triggering topics regarding mental illness and trauma. If you are uncomfortable, please leave now.

Mun opinion and muse opinion are two different things!! Some of my characters are actually the fucking worst, but I'd like to think I'm not! Haha

I DO…

Encourage you to send asks, prompts, ideas, anything!

Encourage you to choose a muse, or several!

Encourage you to shoot me an ooc ask for any reason, even just to say hi! Especially just to say hi! Haha

Encourage you to not stress and take your time!

Encourage you to read up on my muses and lore!

Encourage you to remind me if you think I've forgotten!

That's about it though! If I ever add or remove any rules I'll make sure to post an update, but thank you again for reading this and I look forward to interacting with you all!