#reblog this and i'll kill you
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REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)
#moonbin#astro#moon bin#i don't want to be here right now honestly i just wanted my last post about moonbin to be the ones where hes smiling as my last memory#it kills me to see my posts reblogged with sad messages now#and i still can't believe this news either#i've been mia anyway but now im even less inclined to go on tumblr rn#im so sorry for everyone including family/friends of bin#and himself but i cant think about that bc it will break me apart#rest in peace bin i'll miss you more than anything
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daily life arc miura haru. does anyone know who i'm talking about. do you guys remember her. i still can't believe what happened to her 😔
#katekyo hitman reborn#khr#khr text post#miura haru#the fandom confessions blog reblogged a confession about the girls and how it's kind of a shame they're always given more depths through#the badass/girlboss who now knows how to use weapons route#and it made think of haru because like. of all the khr girls imo she's the one that route actually makes sense#both narratively and character wise#like if her characterization stayed the same post daily life arc and she was given decent focus and room within the story#post future arc or somewhere along i could have totally seen that happen and would have bought it no questions asked#like look me in the eye and tell me she wouldn't have gone 'so you're telling me you're dealing with the honest to god mafia?#okay so when do /i/ get a gun too so i can handle myself and give you guys a hand??'#i mean. she literally slapped then punched tsuna upon their first meeting because how dare he corrupt innocent children#and then challenged him through a duel wearing armor because how dare he not see the wrong of his ways#then tsuna saved her and she was /immediately/ like 'oh you're KIND and care about the people around you? okay nevermind i'll just become#the future vongola decimo's wife'#also she was literally right there when they attacked the tomaso's headquarters#and was also there to witness tsuna's 'first kill' and was like 'it's okay tsuna. i'll wait for you to come out of prison' lmao#she's so unhinged#she's so funny#she's ready to throw hands at all times no questions asked#amano free my girl she can do everything the boys are allowed to do too 😔
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i know i haven't spoken about the annihilation of gaza here at all yet, i've been more actively sharing posts and information on my personal accounts on ig/twt/fb etc. however, i'll say this here right now—if you support isr*el or are staying "neutral", i need you to actually go ahead and block me this instant. this is actual genocide, actual ruthless murder of innocent people and children. if you are not firmly on palestine's side, i do not want you on my blog, or to even breathe the same air as me. kindly remove yourself from my space. thank you!
#₊˚ପ⊹ soliloquy .ᐟ#free palestine#palestine#i've been feeling so sick and so helpless.#have been using tumblr to tune out whenever i feel too overwhelmed but fuck that. children are dying. little kids are getting killed.#i'm not going to talk about this situation all the time because genuinely i can't fathom it#it's been affecting me so much. i feel so horrified#but i'll be reblogging regularly alongside my usual posts#so if you don't want to see that either#you are free to leave!#thank you very much
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Golshifteh Farahani playing the piano in Si tu meurs, je te tue (2011, Hiner Saleem)
#golshifteh farahani#si tu meurs je te tue#if you die i'll kill you#hiner saleem#french - kurdish cinema#dailyworldcinema#do yall reblog clips idk skdfh#shesnake#video#gfarahaniedit#the pain of only seeing her in films made by western directors for years now#this was soo
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W-well, we- we finished the... WE FINISHED DECORATING THE TREE. And. Uhm- I FOUND A STRANGE HAT. IN THE DECORATIONS BOX????? And. SPY SAID I SHOULD TRY IT ON. And then he- we uh- mweheheehehe-
UHM. Apparently the WEIRD PLANT on the bow was MISTLETOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought it was holly, but I was NOT about to correct him!!!
HE DID NOT TELL ME HE WAS GOING TO TAKE THIS PICTURE. You can barely see our lovely PATRIOT tree!!!!!!! Oh well. I've got something much prettier to look at anyway...
#tf2#sfm#tf2 rp blog#tf2 ask blog#freedom fries#soldierspy#tf2 soldier#tf2 spy#REBLOG OR I'LL BITE YOU. I'M RABID /silly#my tags ->#avian killing machine#gay little man sighting#solly sfm sillies#EVERYONE LOOK. I MADE THEM KISS#I SPENT. SOSOSOSOO LONG. ON THE LIGHTING#YOU CAN BARELY SEE IT!!!!!!!!! BUT I THINK I LIKE IT.#i combined three cosmetics to make solly's little hat thing. i didnt like how Kiss King looked#i used the bow from the glittering garland which is just holly and not mistletoe#but like. YOU CANT SEE IT ANYWAY!!!!!!! RAAGAGAAGAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#does spy know its holly and just wanted an excuse to kiss solly? is it just actually mistletoe and solly is mistaken? who knows!
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Jason and the annoying kids he didn't want (and that he's only like 4 years older than)
#I'm reaaaaaally trying to work on my backgrounds... difficult... but you only learn by doing...#art#digital art#my art#illustration#oc#dc oc#oc: solitaire#oc: blackjack#character design#original character#jason todd#red hood dc#jason vs being a jungle gym for these kids that he just can't get rid of#Jordan has a soda he's having fun#also that third one is bc I like thinking that one of Jason's goons is just ridiculously pressed about them bothering Jason so much#but bro secretly loves having little siblings and feels lowkey bad about not wanting to associate with the waynes bc there are so many#these two will do though they're alright#why did they decide that hood is their brother ever? idk man char and Jordi are just LIKE THAT#jason: (clearly having a chill time with his funny kids)#goon: I will kill these children. get off my man.#this is actually based on some art I tried to make months ago and it just never worked out bc I wasn't rly sure how I wanted to draw Jay#back then AND my anatomy was just a bit awkard-er and I was WAY too nervous to try a bg#maybe I'll go find it and add it in a reblog?
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coloured version with an actual background coming when i feel like getting around to it
#rick and morty#morty smith#mortycest#evil morty#prime morty/evil morty#prime morty x evil morty#art#my art#bubblegumr1ck-art#i finished this last night but couldn't post it because my internet died#but in the meantime someone rb'd me complaining about the lack of mortycest LOL#shoutout to that person if you see this#also yea soz for killing this blog#i have been keeping up with s7 but i'm always at least a day behind so i've just been reblogging stuff to my main#i might make a text post after the final episode though (its in my drafts but i'd rather it not become outdated within one episode)#also if i make more art i'll post it here lol#ok bye
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Jacksepticeye being on tumblr is crazy. I follow him now and he responds to like everyone who speaks his name. Apparently he's had a tumblr since 2014. I didn't even realize he had a tumblr until he came back. What da hell are you doing here !!
#not a reblog#he wont respond to this one because I'm a small blog#and that's okay !!#man. I would've killed to have interacted with him a few years ago#I was like. obsessed with his content#I've calmed down now#which is funny#bc the time I finally have the chance to interact I'm like '...nah I'll let the guy rest'#he probably has so many fans trying to get his attention rn#Jack if you're reading this your Bendy and The Ink Machine video changed my life!!#so did The Boss (game)#also if you're reading this. Get out of here my blog has less than like 50 followers how did you find me#jacksepticeye
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In Offense to Emilie Agreste
Hello there everyone, and- ...okay, put down your pitchforks, I haven't even started yet! Before an angry mob gathers 'round my blog, allow me to explain what today's rant is about. Unlike Lila Rossi, whose existence makes me want to hurl bricks at my screen whenever she appears, Emilie Agreste is actually a pretty interesting character. However, there are things about her (both canon and implied) that have me giving this picture-perfect gal a very intense side-eye. So today I'll be talking about what I think of her character, why I think she could have been written better, why she absolutely isn't a good person, and how the narritive does her a diservice by reducing this poor lass to an insignificant plot device, just so her clinically insane husband can have a reason to bully teenagers in spandex!
Firstly, let's quickly establish what we know about Emilie. I'll explain why I believe anything that isn't directly stated later, now it's just the basics. She and her sister Amelie are coming from a well-off family in England, presumably with quite high standards and expectations. We know little about her early life and it frankly isn't important, but she does at some point take an interest in the creative arts. She firsts meets her husband-to-be Gabriel when she arrives in Paris to further her education, and it's easy to assume they become friends due to similar interests. Then, later down the line, they meet Nathalie Sancoeur, with whom they scour the world to find the Miraculous jewels. After they do find the Butterfly and Peacock in Tibet, they all return to Paris and she creates Adrien Agreste, her son, using Duusu's powers. About twelve years later, she falls ill and "into a deep sleep" because the Peacock Miraculous was broken. This kicks off Gabriel's descent into madness and his crusade as Hawkmoth, which slowly drove him to insanity for reasons seen in this post. But still, this vague timeline leaves us with a lot of questions as to who she was as a person, and how she lived her life.
Before I delve deeper into this, I would quickly want to clarify the sources for the above information. We know from Represenation that Emilie met Gabriel when she went to Paris for educational reasons. I honestly don't remember if her field of study is mentioned, but considering she later stars in Andre's film "Solitude" it isn't hard to derive that said studies could be related. The high expectations from Emilie's family come from the fact that Gabriel had to change his name at some point in life, possibly because Emilie's parents wouldn't accept her marrying some "lowborn". Additionally, we know Amelie's marriage to Colt was arranged, so there definately is a sense of "securing the family lineage" here that exists in what remains of aristocracy today. In Passion, Nathalie is implied to be a treasure hunter of some sort at the time she meets Gabriel and Emilie, though how long she's been at the profession isn't clear. Still, they do work together to find the Butterfly and Peacock Miraculous. We see in Evolution that they are occupying the Agreste Manor with the Peacock in hand, so it's possible they purchased the house either right after their trip to Tibet or before. Other relevant information comes from the thumbnails of Emilie's videos and photos from the Passion episode.
As an aside, Astruc better give us that Tibet special, because I need more Agreste family Lore! These people made their drama the entirety of France's problem and while I respect that, I need to know more! Also, Thomas' quote of "a lot can happen when three people are in close proximity for a long time"? Pretty sure that's from Twitter btw, if you want to look it up. I see you, Thomas...I see you...
Anyway, onto exploring Emilie's themes as a character. From the very start of the show, we have a lot of clues that point to her being an angelic, kind and can-do-no-wrong type of character, at the very least in Gabriel's eyes. There is a whole other topic here about him being obsessed with the past and looking at it with rose-tinted glasses, but I digress. The portrait of Emilie in the atelier, her photo in Adrien's room, and Gabriel's fond remniscing all give us the idea that she was a wonderful, lovely person! In fact, we even get a bit of personallity added to her in the Simon Says episode, where Gabriel tells Chat Noir "you have some of her (Emilie's) flair for dramatics". So of course, she was goofy sometimes, which is a trait we see Amelie share at least a little of in the Felix episode, what with her Elsa-style entrance into the manor. For Season 1, we got plenty of information as to her character, even if we didn't know her name quite yet.
In Season 2 we get more of these examples of her being a wonderful person who is dearly missed, such as the whole plot with the above-mentioned Solitude movie, and Adrien wanting to go see it. Why exactly Parisian cinema is playing this movie in the first place considering what we know about Andre abandoning his career as a director is completely unknown and reeks of a plothole to me, but then again so do half the episodes in general. Point is, from very early on in this show we get a positive perspective on Emilie's character. Sure, there's a lot we don't know about her, but I'm sure her wedding day, her early years with Gabriel, their actual relationship, whatever she had going on with Nathalie, and the whole drama with her parents and later Amelie's husband isn't important...right?
Yeah no I'm not letting her off the hook. Aside from the obvious Adrien stuff that I'll get into in a bit, it seems suspicious to me that nobody can ever come up with anything negative to say about Emilie. And I don't mean a genuine character flaw, even if nobody is perfect, I mean just...something embarrassing? An old joke shared between friends from college, a little detail that sheds light at her sense of humor, even a fond recollection of something silly that happened in her youth. There's nothing. Aside from Gabriel saying she had a dramatic flair, which I will talk about, we know nothing about Emilie Agreste as a person. She barely feels alive, almost existing solely to be the "dead wife" archetype of the show. And okay sure, some of that is the fault of whoever was in the writing room when they try to bring her up. But come on, you're telling me Nathalie doesn't have a single memory or photo in that large stack of recollections that shows her being alive for once?
And of course I don't mean Emilie being literally alive, we see plenty of that. But think back to the photo with Gabriel, Audrey, Emilie and Andre for a second. As an example. I can't recal the exact details, but Emilie is standing to the side, closer to being out of frame than anyone else. In the middle of the shot, the other three seem to be having a good time, but she's only giving a polite, proper smile to her friends. Naturally, not every person out there is extremely expressive, but this is a safe space. Emilie is with close friends and everyone is enjoying themselves, yet her face looks like she came out of a portrait. When I noticed that little detail, I went running to find more. Aside from the videos that she left behind, we've never seen her speak or interact with any character excepting that Evolution scene where she first gets the Miraculous. So can we please think about this logically for a second? What kind of person is Emilie Agreste?
She was born in high society, with a lot of expectations on her shoulders and only her sister for company in her formative years, if Adrien and Chloe's sibling-like bond is anything to go by. And yes that's another post entirely, but they were childhood friends and he had almost nobody else his age to talk to, so I'm drawing a parallel. I won't speculate at all about Emilie's childhood, because frankly it's irrelevant to today's conversation. What I will say however, is that everyone we meet who has interacted with her has fond memories and good things to say about her. And every depiction of Emilie we get, even those not made by Gabriel, she seems to radiate perfection. And that right there is her character's theme. Being perfect. She presumably was the perfect daughter, the perfect (or at least a good enough) student to go to France in order to further her education, so on and so forth. But her family life very much isn't anything close to that. For one, her sister is stuck in an arranged marriage with an abusive a-hole who seems to have been spat directly out of a Texas steretype. There is no indication that Emilie knew about this, but...she also eventually let Colt borrow the Peacock Miraculous to make Felix. Clearly she entrusted Colt Fathom of all people with a magical artifact that can make sentient life, because sure, that seems perfectly reasonable!
Of course signs of abuse are hard to notice even when directly pointed out, but for the purposes of Emilie and Amelie, it seems fundementally against the good, pure and angelic character that Emilie has been presented as to even consider handing Duusu over to Colt. I'm ignoring the issue of Tomoe since that hasn't been explained, but there's clearly something wrong here. And now...now we come to Adrien's home life. We know that he has never been to public school before Origins, which happened only because Chloe enrolled him by the way, and Gabriel does allow him to go at the end of the day. We didn't know at the time, but it does seem reasonable for Gabriel to refuse him completely here, seeing that in hindsight, Adrien's class specifically becomes a hotspot for Akumatizations. But despite this danger, Gabriel still allows Adrien to remain in public school. Additionally, it's completely reasonable to assume that a pre-teen and later teenager would want more freedom to explore the world, and I find it incredibly unlikely that Adrien only expressed this after Emilie keeled over. Surely, this child would have wanted to make friends before then, especially if Chloe would brag about how many friends she has in school, which seems like a thing she would absolutely do to impress him. Sure, that last bit is speculation, but Chloe does act like this all the time in Season 1, so it's natural to consider that she did so before too! The thought of Gabriel being the permissive parent here, and therefore not the one keeping Adrien inside all the time...it really frightens me.
And just to be clear, this isn't a tinfoil-hat "Emilie is secretly evil" theory or anything like that. I'm just saying that she isn't perfect, never has been, and actually made a lot of mistakes during her life. Especially with Adrien. Because doesn't it seem like a loving mother's attitude to want to spend time with her precious son, showing affection and being with him at all times? As a reminder, unless the concept of adoption was never invented in this universe, Emilie Agreste could have just grabbed a child out of an orphanage at any point during her lifetime. But instead, she specifically wanted this one, Adrien. And what does she do to get her precious, perfect baby boy? Why, she scours the entire planet with her huband (possibly to-be) and her definately-not-side-chick Nathalie the treasure hunter to find a magic brooch that gives her the power to make him herself, exactly how she wants! Plot aside for a minute, doesn't that sound a little bit insane to you? The desire to have a child alone wouldn't drive anyone to go to such lengths, and this is assuming she is infertile or has some other problem that a good night under the stars with her pals Gabriel and Nathalie won't fix!
Clearly, Emilie had something very specific in mind when going through all the magical, mystical and half-maddening hoops that she had to go through in order to make Adrien in the first place! She practically dragged her husband and their friend on a worldwide trip just to find some tiny bird goddess stuck in a brooch! Are you reading this correctly? And then after Adrien popped into existence (presumably by being carried to term, etc.) Emilie made sure to shower him with love and adoration. But she also kept him isolated, and secure. This isn't as much speculation as it is just reading between the lines, but Adrien seems constantly awestruck throughout the show when presented with new experiences. Not to mention another disturbing thing, she was put inside the life support pod with Adrien Amok on her finger! That's a huge red flag, right in front of us, but it's been ignored because Gabriel is the one who uses it on-screen. Consider that by the time he does use the Ring, Gabriel is well on his way to utter insanity, considering that Shadowmoth is already unhinged enough to quickly evolve into Monarch once the conditions are right. Gabriel has absolutely no chill when it comes to terrorizing innocent people, or using Adrien's Amok to control him when need be. So why is there an implication of Emilie doing the same when she should have been perfectly sane and not driven to desperation because of a loved one's loss like her husband? Again, go check out this post for a full Gabriel analysis.
I'm not saying that Emilie was evil or crazy or a psychopath or anything of the sort. I'm telling you all that she had control issues. Among all the other stuff we know, and with said information pool being tiny to start with, Emilie Agreste seems so intersting! There should have been a whole plot point about removing the rose-tinted glasses that her death cast down on Gabriel, Adrien and Nathalie! There should have been flashbacks to when she was alive! We should have seen her interact and show love towards Adrien! To her credit, Emilie did see that her death was going to mess with Gabriel's head tremendously, and left him a little video politely asking that he doesn't become an internation terrorist. You know, just as a failsafe. It sure is a shame that she never had that conversation with her husband when she was still awake, or that to our knowledge, never said goodbye to Adrien. The public narrative is that she "disapeared". Are you joking me? Of course Gabriel covered everything up, but this is never adressed!
The writers have a ironically perfect character in their hands! Emilie is a mystery to the audience, she has a complicated relationship with both the show's main villains (Lila doesn't count if she's in barely a dozen episodes), one of the titular characters, and is also literally the reason why the show's events kick off in the first place! But we are shown nothing of her for over one hundred episodes of Miraculous! Even Ephemeral, one of the episodes I hate the most in the whole show, could have given us a glimpse into whatever Gabriel's restructured world would have looked like! It was the perfect oppurtunity for us to see Emilie up on her feet and actually having a role to play, instead of just discount Mrs Freeze! Yes I know her name is Nora, I know it's not the same situation, shush, I'm making a "Emilie is in the basement fridge" joke. The writers and Thomas did this woman so dirty it's not even funny! And I am offended at her, because at the end Emilie serves no purpose than to have Gabriel be "sympathetic" in Season 2! There are a dozen plot threads just dangling around for them to rip out of the ceiling and play with, but Emilie's very existence amounts to absolutely nothing! A gravestone would have served as a better character, because at least there could be something useful writen on it! Some kind of descriptor that gave us any insight into her personality!
But no, she's a blank slate! She's just some gal that showed up, found a magic peafowl and keeled over, ultimately leading to Adrien's sheltered home life, social awkwardness, and mommy issues! Because you cannot tell me that Emilie's parenting, no matter how well-meaning, didn't screw Adrien's early life up! She could have been the best mum in the world and it still wouldn't have mattered, because she considered him her perfect creation! Can you see the irony here? Can you observe the myriad of metaphors and the hundreds of ways this can get included in a story? Does Thomas Astruc and his team want me to have a mental breakdown??? Like, excuse me, honestly excuse me, but the sheer amount of offense I take both on Emilie's behalf and to her utter uselessness in this franchise is astronomical! I love this character! I really do! Wrote a whole alternate backstory for her where she and Nathalie are college roomates and everything! Heck, I love her so much that I did make her into a crazy psychopath in one of my AUs just so she can play a key part in that story as the Hawkmoth-equivilant! My love and adoration for Emilie Agreste reaches the god damned moon and back, but unless she actually has more than ten seconds of dialogue in some kind of flashback or prequel, I will continue to be offended! I'll continue to be pissed! And I'll continue to pray for the day where she becomes more than a practically irrelevant plot device!
Anyway, I need to cool off. I need to have a drink. I need to relax and take a break before making the post in defense of poor Chloe, because she too got shafted by the narritive, just like Adrien's mum. Expect it sometime soon, or at the very least when I'm not going insane over the fact that despite directly causing every major event in this franchise to occur, Emilie Agreste is a bigger question mark than the dude in a banana costume. Seriously, what the heck is up with Mr Banana anyway? I'll be seeing you all soon, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!
#miraculous ladybug#emilie agreste#rant post#character analysis#yolo rants#i have a dream#i'm here to tell...#about an emilie agreste that isn't a cardboard cutout!#no i'm not biased#i just want people to understand#that yes#emilie's choices kickstarted the whole show#and that's cool#but she's one of the most important characters#and does nothing!#she's reduced to a wax statue inside gabriel's basement fridge!#and there is actually a fic about that#somewhere on ao3...#but anyhow#point is i'm offended#both because of her#and on emilie's behalf#like please give this woman some dialogue#thomas would it kill you to use your characters properly???#cuz you not doing that is killing me!#anyway i need to take a break#feel free to give your thoughts in replies/reblogs#i'll go insane#so yeah#i'll see myself out
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trans woman on tumblr: i like cake
5000+ people simultaneously: so you're saying people who don't like cake should die? you'd shove cake down a random stranger's throat? if that stranger has a gluten allergy they'll die. what kind of fucked up person wants that? some people don't like cake and that's valid, ffs. btw 'cake' is slang for ass, you're not being subtle with your horny posting
#speaky girl#if you reblog this with the piss on the poor post i'll kill you. btw#this is not about reading comprehension.
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Mutuals reblogging my posts is the gayest thing anyone could ever do @gamble-skogmo
#reblogging as a metaphor for GAY#if you reblog this aria i'll kill you#gay gay homosexual gay#hello trans people on my phone#hello little gay people in my phone#196#r/196#rule#apartmentofawesome#:3#hungryposting
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if you have anything against Ukraine and ukrainians go fuck yourself for real and never interact with me, I don't care who you are I fucking hate you
those who stand with us and support us however they can are amazing people and I'm very grateful for them
#I'm not in the mood for anything fandom related the last few days so ig I'll just speak my mind#fuck you if you're a russian or russian supporter#and fuck you if you think you don't need to talk about Ukraine#reblogging a post about donation to the children's hospital isn't gonna kill you but you just don't care#but thank you to everyone who talks about Ukraine and who donates to help Ukraine#i've seen some nice comments from non-ukrainians who donated to the children's hospital that was bombed#and I'm so very thankful to the people who actually care and want to help#even if they didn't donate much or only shared information i want to say thank you to everyone who stands with us
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Song of the Day: February 19
“Good Wife" by MIKA
#song of the day#a spectacularly and unexpectedly horrible day but I got my queue restarted yesterday and I promised myself today I'd get a song up#I don't want to talk about the horrible part. I never know how to talk about really bad things without it feeling really bad you know?#but I did make some very good food today#I've never cooked much fish before but Duncan and I both really like it so I've been taking a swing at some simple-ish-looking recipes#I made a chowder the other day that was woefully underseasoned but I do know what I'd do to fix it so next time it'll hopefully be better#and today I made some pan-fried cod cakes that came out really really well and then later I seared a nice piece of salmon#overall I'm pleased with how the fish journey is going#if anybody has beginner fish recipes they'd recommend I'd be grateful for more ideas of what to try!#oh shit I almost forgot to mention the actual song!#song for today's from a fanvid I'll reblog in a second. again I must say I Do Not Go Here wrt 911 but the fanvid is /excellent/#and the song is great. Mika pulling no punches killing that high-energy depression sound as usual. love love love that kick-beat
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I've not officially come out to many yet aside from by changing my bio and some socials bc I've come out so many times in my life it doesn't even matter to me anymore. But hi 2 things.
1) I'm still transmasc (not in the sense of being a man, I've always been nonbinary) and I'm not changing my name and pronouns. If you don't fuck with he/him lesbians etc get off my blog. I love gender affirming surgery and HRT forever and ever and I don't regret it 1 bit in fact it makes me feel closer to both my gender & sexuality. I've known for a while but I've been actively pressured & discouraged to identify with both things at the same time
2) I didn't know it was not normal to think "wow lesbians are so cool I wish I could be one" help me. I may be stupid
#plz don't reblog this!!!!! I'll kill you. I'm shy#not to dox myself but thank you dyke night at the model#and thank you to my therapist for introducing me to journaling
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When I was eight, I learned an important phrase.
"Everyone knows..."
I heard it spat at my mother, the door of our dingy apartment half open, yellow light siltering in from the hallway and over the blankets on the floor that my brother and I slept in.
"Everyone knows gypsies don't pay rent. You don't have clean money."
Out by the end of the month.
I didn't know what that meant at the time, I only knew what it changed in my life.
New rules were thrust upon my brother and I as we carried out blankets and pillows into the bedroom in my grandmother's basement.
Don't put your things on the floor. It floods when it rains and it will ruin your toys.
Don't scream when you play, your grandfather works nights and he's asleep.
Stop speaking that language. Stop it right now. We do not speak Hebrew, we do not speak Sinte, we are not dirty.
We do not speak.
I learned to bite my tongue when English didn't express what I needed it to. To swallow down my culture and my religion like a bitter pill. A life saving measure that treated the shakes finding a swastika carved into my desk left.
We do not speak.
We are not dirty.
We have washed ourselves of the shame of our being. Our existence is to be scrubbed and scraped and swirled down the drain like the dirt left on our hands after pretending we are squirrels in our Bubbe's yard.
We do not speak any longer, we do not announce our existence in polite company, where our very being might soil their opinion of us.
There is no such thing as language beyond what is expected, what is allowed. English is to be spoken exactly as it should be, with each syllable matching what the christian born white men speak as they make their speeches behind pulpits and books I do not understand.
My first language, my second language, my third language I shared with my sister who needed it so badly.
Swallowed down, down, down, down.
Forgotten.
My hands could not move to follow hers, my tongue could not form the hymns and prayers I once knew. When my auntie spoke half in the language of our people, I could only stare and wish I knew how to do the same.
We are not dirty.
We do not speak.
There is safety in silence.
We do not speak.
#ok to reblog before you ask#idk if this is#poetry#but i'm tagging it as that#freeform#my writing#memories of having my very heritage and culture erased by my own family#i wish i could speak hebrew or sinte but it was something i was yelled at for for years#and now i'll have spurts where i try to learn it and then i drop into a shame spiral because it's wrongbadwrong#and i can't make any progress because of this stupid on off pattern#how do you unlearn shame that teaches you your very existence will get you killed
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Alright hear me out
Fuck Marry Kill ™️ game with Gary's characters!
@hudson-bay-girl @celestialsister0918 @historygeekfics @anakinnskid @m00nage-daydr34m
#gary oldman#feel free to do it if you're not tagged#feel free to ignore it if you wish and you're tagged 😂#i'll reblog with my answer later#i still have to make up my mind#it's not easy#game#fuck marry kill
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