#reasons i think im adhd
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."
i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much
#ask#deltarune#queenkaard#rouxls kaard#queen#art#doodles#conkreetmonkey#i mean its fine to draw ship art Just Cuz dgmw but i have Paragraphs of reasons why i like All my ships and it feels really good when i can#help people see the reasons why i think characters are cute together and why they'd work#i love feeling like im Doing something with my art. expressing something. explaining something. makes it feel meaningful#esp when i thought queenkaard was very Out There at first dhbsdjbhf i was like 'dude theres only gonna be me and 2 other people#who ship this'. and there was at first. now people dont think its a rarepair. i built this city goddammit. me and like 2 other people 😭#and im only half joking. i drew them so much because nobody else was. its still a rarepair to me. the fanart and fanfics are still#kind of sparse besides me tbh. but a LOT of people say 'i ship it because of cozy' and that makes me happy#there Are a couple fanfics on ao3 i havent gotten to yet only bc ive been tizzy about the gay car this year but i will read them eventually#anyway i still really love queenkaard i miss the blue people i cant wait to draw them more once the new chapters release aaaaaa#also since i mentioned i dont always respond to asks: i still read each and every single one of them#im sorry if anyone ever sends me something and i didnt post it. sometimes i go on ask-reply sprees and sometimes it just gets#answered months later dhbdsbjf. but please dont ever think i dont care about what you have to say i love hearing from you guys#and sometimes i just Forgor because adhd go brrt
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
these are all kind of Bad but this was the best of the bunch so i am posting it :p
i've been trying to draw vanessa more... she is so important to me... sun is here too i guess
#my art#probably wont tag this until later i dont want this in the tags#im mainly posting this because i absolutely need to talk abt something its been bothering me for awhile#im gonna censor this stuff (i REALLY dont want this in the tags) so just bear with me#why doesnt the 🌞&🌜 fandom talk abt v/nessa more. why do we not do that#their entire character is meant to parallel her#there's like a million tiny parallels for them in the games. they were both teased in the hw1 dlc and are both associated with that#🐰 & 🌜's animations (and even their designs) have several similarities to each other#there's a lot of cutscenes and parts of sb where one shows up after the other does.. 🐰 going to the daycare after greggy leaves#🌜 dragging feddy away to parts and service and v/nessa immediately showing up there#the entire 6am ending sequence ???#literally like the only reason v/nessa isnt more popular is bc like 90% of her character is hidden in unused content#and because 🌞&🌜 are the skinny handsome mysterious and tragic tumblr sexymen#and when they become so isolated from their source all of their parallels to her are used to instead repackage her character into a more#appealing design for everyone to fawn over and consume#.. im being dramatic but AuUGGHTHHF IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH PLEAAAE3 pleaseee please i love her.#its so hard being in the 'i want to kiss this robot' fandom when you dont actually want to kiss the robot#i just think theyre an interesting character 😭 and also my adhd brain obsesses over them endlessly so im just stuck here HFJSJGJD#anyway these tags got way too long dont read these. im going to bed now
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
Is it just me or do psychiatrists (or I guess whoever is in charge of diagnosing?) never like to be straight forward with their answers. They never say “I can confirm, you have X” or “You’re X”
They always seem to say something like “You definitely display traits of X” or “You have symptoms of X”
I’ve looked this question up and apparently this is on purpose because they want the patients(?) to be able to decide for themselves what they want to do, and to not let a diagnosis completely dictate their mindset or actions or something along those lines. Which is like- understandable!!! But!!!!!! This doesn’t help with my imposter syndrome???????????
When tryna get diagnosed with ADHD a couple months ago, I was told that tho I definitely had traits and stuff, it would be difficult to explicitly say if I had ADHD or not because I’m autistic and have anxiety, which can cause many overlaps in symptoms and whatnot which makes everything a billion times more confusing. But despite that, they still prescribed me ADHD medication (YIPPEE :D) but I’m so confused fjdgkfhfj
CAN I say I have ADHD then?? Or just “traits”? It’s when I got diagnosed with OCD all over again fjdgkfhfj. DO I REALLY HAVE OCD???? LIKE YEAH I HAVE ALL THE SYMPTOMS OF OCD AND IT NEGATIVELY IMPACTS MY LIFE EVERY SINGLE DAY ALL DAY BUT WHAT IF I DON’T ACTUALLY HAVE IT???
Fun fact, one common thing with OCD is self doubt, the need for constant reassurance and ironically enough imposter syndrome fjdgkfhfj
Kay but like what if I don’t actually have ADHD or OCD- What if I’m just looking for reasons so I don’t feel lazy or delusional- What if I just want an excuse for why I’m extremely anxious and overwhelmed by everything all the time-
I keep wanting to ask my parents the same question “Are you sure I was properly diagnosed and I’m okay to say I have X?” even tho I WAS THE ONE THAT DID ALL THE RESEARCH AND WAS THE ONE TO EVEN ASK ABOUT LOOKING INTO A DIAGNOSIS ANYWAY. Every single time I say “I have OCD” or “I have ADHD” I feel like a frickin liar for some reason
I love my scrambled eggs of a brain and it’s disorganised and imbalance of funky hormones and funky chemicals <3
#Jazzy dreamer#jazzy rambles#jazzy lore#Text post#ADHD#Autistic#actually autistic#OCD#AuDHD#neuordiversity#neurodiverse#neurodivergent#Imposter Syndrome#Obbsesive compulsive disorder#Mentally ill#In case ya couldn’t tell this stuff has been on my mind for a while#I don’t think it helps that for so many years now I’ve been called lazy#and told that I don’t try because I simply don’t want to do a thing#I’ve also been told I can talk about my worrys and struggles and stuff but when I do im usually told#Don’t be silly#which confirms my fears that I’m making myself miserable for no reason??#Like thanks for yer concern I guess-#I hope this makes sense#Fjdgkdgdkdh
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
if i wrote a comprehensive analysis of reading into otto's character from a queer lens (with extensive text citations) would you read it bc ive thought way too much about this for the sake of my silly anime fanfiction okay. i know too much about this topic now and i gotta let the energy out <33
#my thesis is that otto is so into subaru and all the animators keep shipping ottosuba (says the rz ottosuba shipper blog) and then#tappei goes “....huh did i just write otto being gay for subaru bc fans keep asking if ottos gay for subaru. huh. ........maaaybe”#the other part of my thesis is that otto is transphobic towards subaru-as-natsumi despite subaru being his crush for Reasons and that#otto cant be normal about relationships bc of *insert psychological analysis about his life*#theres just sooooo sooooo much subtext from ottos end that i just gotta ok i gotta. i gotta. when. when i got time. i prommys </3 if no one#else will i will <3#i started posting my more polished analysis stuff on rz reddit a little while ago but i think if i posted an otto queer subtext analysis id#speedrun myself into getting banned LJDFLJD oh well. very worth it.#listen today i got commplimented by my writing professor for having great writing and analysis and inside i was thinking#ah yes bc i write#anime meta in my free time LDSFJ but im flattered i just let the adhd take over!!!!#and once again if youre someone whos sent me an ask that i havent answered yet ill get to it eventually HAH <3#suffaru post
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dreamt Chan joined the sydney swan's afl team and you might be like Chan doing sport? Sounds normal. but you don't know what the australian football league uniforms look like.
#(sleazebag dream) lmao#afl just wears the SMALLEST shorts in the worls and a muscle jersey i.e full arms out#so. objectively funny sport for my brain to pick when we all know hes a soccor guy lol#ive never watched a match all the way through i dont even think im not an afl girl lol#also im pretty the reason my dreams are crazy is because i went off my adhd medication#maybe? idk. its a theory.#i should make a dream tag...
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
How 2 do well in school, which is starting soon, no glue no borax
#i think im smart. maybe. cuz my finals last uear were aparently AWESOME for some fucking reason#i was failing allll my classes tho#except like. gym. but the rest were legit all Fs#idk how i passed.....#im just godly#but fr ive gyat no motivation to do anything ever and honestly id rather kms than be there BUT i have a gf now and also the convergence ->#-> reboot hasnt come out so i cant die yet#ive lost most motivation for my hobbies at this point and now i gotta go back to that freakshow#SIGH#the ppl there are MEAN and some of the things they tey to teach us with suck ASS#PLEASE. IM SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT ENGLISH. IT USED TO BE MY BEST SUBJECT#😭😭😭😭😭#the thing we have to do stuff on tho SUCKS bc i can barely ever finish it in class cuz theres not enough time and i dont have the motivation#to do it at home so eventually i just stopped bothering with it#like i just stopped#honestly halfway through last year i just gave tf up in general 😭💀and they literally pulled me away and were like “r u ok....”#i dont remember where i was going with this#im eepy everything hurrts i dont wanna go back#i wanna be silly i wanna make straight As and Bs like when i was an little kid i want to make the ppl that care about me happy but.augh#vent post#I GUESS#mother get me tested + medicated challeng e level IMPOSSIBLE😭😭😭😭😭#ganvg im starting to think i may have smth besides the adhd.... hmmm.......
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
I assume Jason just enjoys watching other people's family drama. He's like her hype man
It's nice to be reminded every so often that your life could be worse you could have slade Wilson as a dad it humbles Jason slightly
#ask#anon#he needs to be humbled#also funny idea that Jason likes watching rose and slade fight for the same reason i like the batfam#its cathartic to watch a family thats more fucked up then your own interact#onto cheerier news#i decided to finally peak at the results of that au poll#and ngl im quick surprised at how many votes the billy jason friendship got#honestly didnt think so mant of you were invested in that one#dw btw i obviously will be continuing all my aus especially the ones on that list#adhd brain just meant i was struggling to figurd out which one i should do first#this poll is just to put them in order#so yeah looking like your gonna be getting more reverse batkids soon#yeeyee
134 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every appearance of the red-haired menace that is early Laurence forces me to sit here and stew upon how I will fix his introduction in the rewrite. As a coping mechanism. Unfortunately since I can't remember the parts where his character isn't just harassment so I can't cook with the themes the way I'd like to. Like the way he calls Aph "my love" after she very explicitly in the text of the game tells him not to do that... bad vibes. I think I could rock with his character if he'd done the same sort of approach in hitting on Aphmau as heavily, but the moment she lays down an actual boundary, he backs way the hell off. I could even fuck with her trying to be subtle about the boundary and him not getting it and continuing to make her uncomfortable before she snaps at him and he apologizes, saying that he truly didn't mean anything by it, and he respects the boundary she lays like his life depends on it from then on out. It would create some immediate complexity in his need for explicit communication, and backs up the sort of deeper character hinting they seem to try to do when he's talking about Castor and Cadenza, this idea that he deeply cares, if being a bit pushy on accident. It would also make a good detail fueling the conflicts later on with the love triangle that can sort of prevent Laurence from looking like TOO much of a dickhead (him being unaware or misinterpreting situations, and the delicate nature of it making him uncomfortable asking questions, is a compelling reason to see somebody hurting his friends' feelings, and makes him significantly more sympathetic, opening him up for feelings of remorse and guilt).
#mcd#minecraft diaries#jeremiahs mcd notes#laurence mcd#i want autisic/adhd king laurence and im not even remotely joking#i think it would add a lot to his character to give him those struggles#if i'm recalling his character right anyways#i am still very early in the series#But i do recall vaguely there being conflicts where I was absolutely not on his side#and i had a very strong sense of justice as a kid so i imagine that i'm not making that up#but also its been 8 years so who knows#but i think he can still very much get off on the wrong foot with aph and it can still be good#i think honestly having him get off on the wrong foot and then work to make it up to her would be good as hell#bc it's a situation in which she sees him be willing to work on himself without much prompting#(aka as soon as he's told there's an issue he starts to work on it and she doesn't have to ask)#and she goes oh actually. you know what. maybe hes not a dick.#and she starts to be more comfortable around him over time#It might create this dynamic where it feels like he's always trying to catch up to her level#Always apologizing always being the wrong one#and then eventually when she does something that he can't just smile and bear#(as all friends hurt each other on accident one time or another#it is unavoidable we are but human and i believe Laurence would let a lot of things slide bc he knows how much she's had to forgive him for#And I can see as well it not going over well bc aphmau is not used to the idea of being the wrong one#and she had a reason for what she did and she gets defensive#Causing an uncomfortable moment of tension#I also think that there could be a good spot where Garroth is being more controlling as to try to protect aph and she is bothered by it#feeling in that moment very robbed of control and like he's not listening to her#and then here's laurence#who is willing to build himself anew brick by brick with her input#Like this is how I would overthink it if I wanted a true love triangle conflict introduced to the plot here
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
am i the only one who feels like aspecs have started doing to "allo" what neurodivergent people have done to "neurotypical"
#maybe i shouldnt say this bc of. yk. what website im on#please dont kill me 🙏🏼#but idk#like... theres not a real archetypal 'neurotypical' experience#its just the absence of diagnoses#but it doesnt mean they dont have anything in common with austistic or ocd or schizophrenic people#but the way a lot of neurodivergent people (lowkey typically autistic & adhd) talk about neurotypicals#is the archetype of a person that doesnt actually exist.#and i keep seeing more and more that the aspec community is doing the same thing#with acting like the only true 'allo' experience is one of someone who's always attracted to someone#and has very strong emotions about it#basically acting like the person everyone sees in romantic media is Real#idk dude. having only one crush a year or not finding a ton of people physically attraction or whatevwr#are perfectly allo experiences#its just not what The Standard is... which should be a reason for us and them to be allies#not to say‚ basically‚ that 'none of yall are Real allos'#aromantic#aspec#aro#idk this is maybe more focused on aromanticism but i think it applies to asexuality too#asexual#ace#neurodivergent#o.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm back everyone! Just gonna take it easy for now. I still have some things to finish, and need to focus on my mental health. Just been distressed with anger and sadness, but I've been finding ways to soothe my negative emotions
#tippy rambles#weirdly enough coloring in coloring books helps me a lot- its a good distraction from the hurt /genuine#plus pretending vanilla is motivating me to do chores and take care of myself genuinely helps me out#although i will admit- i think one of the reasons for my mood is i have been forcing myself to keep my room clean every night and-#vacuum and do laundry every thursday... the adhd really disliked that. so maybe the rigid routine makes me feel trapped-#so im trying to find a way to keep my spaces clean consistently while at the same time not stressing out
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
i never fucking post sorry lmao
Say hi to...
HORIZON!!
I'll ramble about him this summer but basically he's a dumb stupid idiot boy. yeah
#art#star holder#star holder au#star holder oc#im crazy about this au bro#the adhd latched on to this for no reason#okay i think i know the reason#i love mythology#and five nights at freddys#so it was bound to happen
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I find it just hilarious how my mother will go all like "how can parents of disabled people not care to understand other disabled people". While she has a child with ADHD who she payed to get formally diagnosed (by that I mean she knows), and never ever bothered to search the symptoms.
#i mean she didn't even know poor time management was a thing#but its even in the shittiest symptom list#she probably thinks I have ADD lol#actually adhd#adhd#disabilities#ableism#tw ableism#i say hilarious cause how else would I react#i feel like there are other ways#like when something bad happens I just crack up laughing#ppl look at me and think im crazy#at the end I don't even cry#I for some reason genuinely find it all funny#I had a math test these days and at the end half of class was crying. I was laughing my ass off.#they probably thought I was either mean (and smart af) or really crazy#venting
107 notes
·
View notes
Text
being evaluated for adhd by having one of those full psych evals that last like two hours. scared frightened etc.... last time i took it i lied extensively bc i was 13 and thought they might tell my mommy if i said i had suicidal thoughts. and i still have a habit of lying to therapists bc i'm embarrassed......... AGH idk. what if i take it and they tell me that the reason im Like This is bc im genuinely just weird and shitty and not bc im mentally ill at all. SCARED
#which is dumb bc i have been formally diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses i dont think they can just take it back right?????#this is so stupid and cliche but what if i have been faking it........ all along........ Argh.#when i was in res i was put on adderall (bc the house psych just kind of experimented w meds LMFAO) and i had to go off them after like#two weeks bc it was affecting my appetite in a way i couldnt afford at the time lmao. but i do genuinely feel like it helped during that#time.... which is why i want to go on it again!!!! but im scared theyll just be like nah and i wont be able to take any of my meds anymore#is that crazy. am i being crazy rn. idk i truly do think most of my experiences w school and like. life could be explained by adhd and#when i was a kid they thought i had it but the two meds they tried didnt work for me so they just. kind of gave up#and i was really extremely unable to do school and graduated hs w an insanely low gpa and then dropped out of community college. LMAO. not#that people w adhd cant be good in school i just couldnt make myself do homework and couldnt listen in class bc i was too busy focusing on#listening. if that makes sense#IDK. idk. i know it's become like. a trend to have adhd is the issue and everything is being attributed to having it so im worried that ive#like. accidentally fallen in w that? even though ive thought i had it for forever and everyone has been like girl do you have this. IDK!!!!#idk. idkkkk im just like. genuinely scared. it's not the end of the world if im not diagnosed obviously but that means that#im just like this for no reason at all. and there's no way of helping it bc it's just the way i am. and i actually am just shitty n lazy.#epic. which incidentally is the proper name for how fucking long these tags are my bad. if you read this far sorry for being insane 👍
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#it's an old frustration. an old pattern of thought.#i just feel that i have a brain that doesn't hold information. that lacks the discipline to gain knowledge. that is incapable of deeper#thought. and i cant teel you how maddening that is. to sit in a room and listen to other people discuss a paper you read in depth 5 times#like it's the 1st time you ever heard anything about it. how is that possible? how do i work with that? i read and nothing sticks.#nothing stays with me. how??? i was talking to a prof recently who ive heard is hard on her students with disability accommodation. and she#was saying how she doesnt see these things as a disability. how we're just different not disabled. ive heard the phrase differently abled#a lot of times. and i get what she's saying. i do. ad i get why she's hard on them. she wants to push them. but there comes a point where#you are quote unquote differently abled and you run into a wall that other people dont have. then what are you supposed to do? work harder?#but what if that doesn't help? what if that just compounds the hurt that's always been there? what if that leaches away all the wonder? what#then? at what point does a thing become too much of a barrier? i think there's a reason i dont run into many other dyslexic grad student.#everyone has adhd. it's a place where those with adhd prosper. but dyslexia not so much. at least not with the level of hanicap i have#and everyone's really nice. they want to help. but there's nothing anyone can do for me at this stage. it's up to me to compensate for my#leaky head. and i kno im not stupid. ive got a piece of paper stating my iq is above average after correcting for uneven intelligence. but#i dont feel very smart most of the time. i feel more like my uncorrected iq score that comes out at just below average even with me trying#my very best. iq is bullshit but there's something to be said for that gap. im smart if unconstrained by language and time. but were bound#by language and we're bound by time so what am i supposed to do? is there anything i can do? im stuck with this forever. theres no getting#better or making it easier. my brain is wired in a way that gives me the reading skills of a child. forever. and i just have to accept that#and im trying to swallow around that idea easier because the only other option is to choke on it. but maybe i chose the wrong career path.#one of my lab mates said she wants challenges all the time and ive chosen a path that's challenges all the time but im jsut trying to do#what everyone else can without a second thought. it's deeply demoralizing. yet here i am. trying to be easier abt it.#maybe im just nit cut out for this. doing a job im not built for.#unrelated
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i wish there was more of an in-game reason to talk to npcs after you complete lvl 4 friendship/romance with them. i know there's the weekly wants but,, i don't know about other players but for me that's really not enough as there's no real incentive to do it once the relationship levels are full. it's like, yeah i can do it but also like, i don't have to. it's not a need.
i guess for some players it might be nicer/calmer that there's no pressure to keep talking to npcs? but for me, i just think it'd be nice to have an in-game reason to keep talking to them. as it stands now, the only reason i do talk to npcs is cause i want to, not because i need to.
#maybe its just the adhd but i have a somewhat one track mind when playing the game#and i dont talk to npcs unless theyre right in front of me And im not currently in the middle of something#like major object permanence issues and i straight up dont remember them if theyre not in front of me alhdf#But if there was an in game incentive to keep talking to them After lvl 4 then id remember!#like it doesnt have to be a quest or anything but like? yknow?#i think itd be nice actually if the relationship levels just went higher#theyd have to add more rewards to incentive players especially for characters they dont like#but it doesnt have to be every two levels! it could be like every five or ten depending on how far it goes#but i think its kinda silly that all the skills can keep going but not the relationship lvls#ik those are two different aspects of gameplay but still#the levels give players a reason to keep playing!! like i dont Like fishing but i do Want the aquarium#and i can only Get it if i get more fishing coins#yknow?#but with the npcs. there's no in-game reason/incentive to keep talking to them once you finish their levels#which i think is Very silly when so much of the game is character interaction !#anyway#aldhg
7 notes
·
View notes