#reason i saying this is bc one of my dogs is dying and it fucking sucks

[izzy-b-hands]

My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.

[whywouldyoudothistua]

okay I had the strangest experience because I watched the first 3 episodes and went "this is great! a little silly but thats to be expected, no where near as bad as season 3" and then the last 3 episodes happened !! anyways

thoughts/take aways :

ty for letting them say fuck

aidan gallagher get out of the writers room and get a girlfriend

baby shark, seriously, that was at least 4 years ago

lila character assasination is CRAZY omg. she would never?? do anything with five 😭 her and five have hated eachother this entire time no matter how many years they were in a train station she would not get w his dusty ass

I dont understand how this happened except somehow aidan got leverage with the plot bc the GREENHOUSE?? SHOTS??? ARE LIKE IDENTICAL?? TO HIS WEIRD INSTAGRAM SELF INSERT FIC?? i hate this boy, get ur hands off my tua

also generally the way they have Lila act abt her family??? idk it feels like such a bland plotline to make her and diego hate being parents

the chubby jokes about diego are also crazy

the fives scene was so cringey 😭 i see what u were going for but it literally just gave citadel of ricks it was not good, and the rain man joke.

the plotline of klaus getting kidnapped was genuinely crazy to toss in there and play for jokes, they only acted like it was serious when the guy threatened allison like no he has been sex trafficking the hargreeves on screen for an entire episode

also while klaus being really paranoid of dying without his powers COULD have been a good plot line I feel like they did not do it well and it just ended up feeling like promoting his addiction

that goop ending was really weird, why'd they get gooped, what if they all died normally no goop involved, they window breaking shot was cool just have that massive monster kick their asses why goop

why did they imply Viktor is like treating all the women in town badly in the first episode 😭 viktor has NEVER acted like this. like please let trans men be GOOD men it doesnt men them girly to not treat women like shit

they act like sloan died and then never elaborated on it???

please explore why raymond left allison and fire aidan gallagher

klaus immediately going for the dog tags was actually rlly sweet almost cried

the two seconds of young apocalypse five were the best moments of the whole season

plot holes bc i was gonna be nice but you did this to yourself :

why is everyone calling it marigold like its not just random thing harlan came up with

"power up" THIS IS NOT WHAT ANY OF UR POWERS LOOKED LIKE UNTIL RN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING

and fives jumps are purple??? for the reason of ??? ??? why??

and WHY THE HELL DOES LILA HAVE LaZER EYES. ALL THEIR POWERS ARE LIKE THEIRS BUT SLIGHTLY DIF/MORE POWERFUL AND SHES JUST GOT LAZER EYES 😭

why were lila and five living like they were in the apocalypse in that train station when they clearly could pop up and time travel around??? like go up take a shower, time travel to sometime with stores, buy some meat, why are you hunting rats, theres literally a deli in there

also they were in there for SEVEN YEARS and never saw another five until the last episode????

I also really heavily doubt it would take five 7+ years to figure out the train system

also the way allison pours the marigold directly into klaus' wound and it just works 😭 how does it work both by drinking it AND ALSO BY POURING IT DIRECTLY IN A MANS GUNSOHT WOULD

what? was going on w Sy Grossman ?? did we ever figure that out?? did they just kill him off and leave us wondering?? why did he say he was Jennifers dad? was he actually with the Keepers? was he just working for Abigail?? no fucking clue

one of the hargreeves (i think luther) called bens death the jennifer incident in s3,,,, but they did not know the girls name and also allegedly had their memories wiped???? okay,,,

also i thought sparrow ben KNEW jennifer already cuz he had her name in his journal or whatever?? but now he doesn't???

why was she in the squid 😭 ?

honestly im sure theres more ive forgotton but omg, that was not good 😭

[chocsra]

if you’re ok with writing for multiple characters, could i request a platonic oneshot with chuuya and dazai x fem!reader who is apart of their “double black” (except ig it wouldn’t be double black anymore) and both mediates their arguments and instigates them? (maybe a snippet of friends to lovers between chuuya and the reader 🤭) tysm have a nice day!

"Unlit Cigarettes stained by Warm Lips"

15! Chuuya x gn! reader x 15! platonic! Dazai

A/N: ofc! yall i should keep my mouth shut bc i make too many promises i cant keep. HALLOWEEN IS SOON BTW AAAAAA

Content: stuck in a jail cell with your unfortunately idiotic subordinates, fluff, crack, mafia work, reader is MEAN, a little romance w chuuya, dazai may be ooc but i like to think that in this kinda dynamic he acts more like a normal teen, slight soukoku, smoking, lots of swearing, NOT PROOFREAD‼️‼️

"Missss.. [Y/N]s smoking."

You slap the lanky boy's shoulder harshly as you shove the cigarette box back into your sleeve, watching as your other subordinate's face contort in surprise as Dazai mockingly whines. "Ow.." he rubs his shoulder with bandaged fingers, the ginger next to him looks at you with amusement and confusion. "Where the hell did ya get that?" he asks, you sulk in annoyance from the whining bastard beside you, "Up your ass." a quiet click of the tongue from the ginger can be heard as you defy his genuine question.

Unfortunately, these two are your subordinates, your partners in criminal work, your associated murderers in the underground business. Even though Double Black is all scary and terrifiyingly violent, you thought they were a pair of funny, immature and idiotic assholes.

Dazai Osamu, a lanky, greasy boy wrapped in bandages, loved dying. Yes, he wanted to fucking die, but he doesn't. You sometimes question his skill of staying alive after that many suicide attempts, but it's alright, you suppose. The mafioso had messy brown hair and wore massive suits that did not fit him and constantly smells like dog shit. He claims he has a silver tongue with women but the only woman he 'has' is the front-desk suicide hotline lady. If somebody ever asked your opinion on him, you would answer.. "He's.. interesting."

Next is Chuuya Nakahara, a short, but strong arrogant boy who is frustratingly brutal. Veeery brutal. He's extremely competitive and takes every minor activity as a sweat-inducing challenge. Karaoke is a pain when he's screaming his ass off, simplistic cooking or baking is horrifiying because this shithead works like he's donating food to charity as if his fatass isn't going to inhale everything afterwards, and any sort of video game was devasting, any one.

He had short ginger hair and stormy azure eyes. His fashion sucked until Koyou, a fellow superior of yours knocked some sense into him. Chuuya had a rather small figure but fairly muscled. Yeah, he flexed his abs (ribs) in the mirror randomly. The boy loved fedoras, chokers and classic, fancy clothing that made girls scream 'DAMON TORRANCE 😍‼️' under his Instragram posts. If someone were to ask your opinion on him, you'd say: "He's an alright guy," with a shrug.

Some dumbass landed you three in jail for a reason you'd rather not speak of, and now you have to deal with the aftermath of waiting for your 'beloved' guardian, Mori Ougai to come bail you three out.

"Mackerel," Chuuya jabs Dazai's side, intensely glaring at him. "Why'd you get the guard's attention? I could've smoked." he hisses, causing the taller boy to snap back at him with an eyeroll. "Nah it's fine, I don't have a lighter anyway." you mediate the tension, boredly playing with the flimsy cigarette box in your hand. The redhead scoffs a little, leaning back in the concrete seat of the jailcell, impossibly manspreading further. "We could use Dazai's hot ass breath as a makeshift lighter.." Chuuya suggests with a smirk, the lanky teenager sassily scoffs, "Or rub pipsqueak's oily hair until it catches fire."

"Like- how would that make a fire?" you retort in amusement, "Have you ever been to a science class?" Dazai and Chuuya shrug in sync unshamefully,

"Was busy protectin' gangsta kids."

"Missed most of middle school 'cause of an attempt."

...

"Fair enough," you shrug back, fixing your hair. "Y'know, Boss is gonna kill us when he gets here." you add on, leaning your head against the prison wall. "I know, I'm not fuckin' prepared," Chuuya copies your movements beside you, loosely throwing an arm around your shoulder. Dazai's eyebrows knit in amusement and embarrassment at the sight, "Pipsqueak, you are NOT smooth." the ginger almost glitches as he flew away from you at those words, now chasing the brunette around the jailcell.

"'Playfighting between you guys is a fuckin' hazard, even for the mafia." you mumble, placing the unlit cigarette between your lips to feel the sensation once more. "This isn't playfighting! I'm gonna kill his ass!" Chuuya pants between missed kicks thrown at Dazai. "That's why [Y/N] thinks you give 'dog vibes'!!" the brunette retorts, bringing up a previous conversation based off you psychoanalyzing your coworkers.

"Why you!-" the smaller boy curses, flying off a wall aimed towards Dazai's head. "I'm not wrong though!!" you fling your arms up in surrender, smiling cheekily as Chuuya rolls his eyes. "After this fuckboy, you're next." You swallow thickly in slight fear. You swore you could hear walls crack and floors thump at the loud commotion, drowning out the poised footsteps towards your cell.

"Sir, are these your children?"

A kind, petite policewoman points to you three fighting like rabid animals. Mori Ougai, your tall, diabolic and terrifiying boss smiles fakely, watching his underlings fight in pure irritation.

"Unfortunately."

The tall brunette immediately halts as the ginger almost decks him in the face. Your hands stay frozen in the air as if you've been caught instigating a chicken fight.

Dude, you are so fucked.

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ headcannons: team stan with a careless friend✧.*

✧.* tags: college au

✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, eric cartman, butters stotch

a/n: I usually don't add cartman to these things bc he stinks+loser+annoying+suckmydick but I know he'd take advantage of someone who hod so sense of mortality so he gets a pass this time ig.

masterlist

Kenny

He mistakes the carelessness for spontaneity and immediately assigns you as his go to “lets do something stupid I just thought of” partner

He’s a “try everything once” kind of guy so it’s perfect that you have no sense of self preservation

“Kenny stand on the other side of the field, I wanna see how far I can throw my phone.”

“Okay.”

You both infuriate stan to no end

#annoyingduo in the best way possible 

Do NOT put the two of you in the same room at a party

All of a sudden there’s a 15 person game of just dance happening but there’s no screen?? You’re all just doing moves you saw on just dance

Everyday is a new adventure

Kenny probably has an eye out for you though

He can die doing something stupid and be back the next day but you on the other hand are not 

Gotta keep his partner in crime alive! There’s a bunch of other things on his “before I die (for real)” bucket list that you still need to mark off

Kyle

You just get caught up in the moment! You have such a wonder for life!

Kyle doesn’t get it sometimes seeing as he tries to view everything logically. 

He’s more like a babysitter when you both go somewhere

“You did not just spend $300 on knock off jordans from a random man on the street corner.”

“I did and they’re the comfiest shoes I’ve ever worn. He told me they’ll cure my posture problems.”

“Do you just believe anything someone tells you?”

“Coming from someone who almost cried when I didn’t use his Candy Crush referral code so he could get more lives, that’s really rich.”

Okay so he gets swept up in trends sometimes. At least he understands his own mortality!

After the third time you try to learn how to do a backflip and fail miserably, he has to leave the room to keep from screaming 

keeps a mental count of the things you do every day that should kill you

the current record is 14

Stan

He doesn’t understand how you can just go through your day without a care

Are you not afraid of dying? That’s like 32% of his thoughts during the day

“Fuck I dropped my credit card down the drain. Stan, hold my ankles while I reach down to grab it.”

“I can literally see the used heroin needles down there.”

“Okay and??? Not my fault the city doesn’t have a safe use zone, I need that card!” 

One time you guys were leaving a store and the alarm went off 

Stan turned to ask you if you got the security tags removed but you we’re already sprinting halfway across the mall

Not because you stole anything, but because you saw jimmy, clyde, and tolkien walking out of a store and wanted to say hi

And then you spent the rest of the day being lectured by an underpaid paul blart wannabe

Stan was freaking out because he thought you would get arrested for causing a scene or something (they find any reason to arrest someone in south park) 

But all you did was laugh in that light hearted, careless way you always do

Cartman

Bro will manipulate your carelessness for all its worth

You are now the second person he calls when he has some stupid plot that needs someone who doesn’t understand the concept of death

If kenny’s busy, you’re on speed dial

Honestly, you’re probably the first call because you’ll do something stupid without needing to be paid! 

Free labor!

Wanna work at dicknbaus hot dogs for 14 hours with no pay? It’s free hotdogs! You’re in! 

Hes an exploitative motherfucker 

Thats all im here to say about it

butters 

You’re going to give him a heart attack

One time you purposely kicked a medicine ball to see how far it would go and broke your foot

And he was more worried about your foot than you were!

“Oh jesus, can you move it?”

“Um… no I don’t think so. Lemme take off my sock”

“AH ITS PURPLE!”

“Oh damn, you’re right. That’s a nice shade though, I was thinking of painting my room that color!”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS”

Unlike kyle, he can’t force himself to ignore your careless nature

He’s always worrying about you 

He’ll suggest you both go to first aid classes or cpr training whenever you hang out “just for fun!”

but really he needs to know that you at least have some first aid knowledge if you're going to keep running around like death is a social construct

[bsaka7]

tagged to post my 9 favourite album with commentary by @mathewbaldzal !!!! we r two peas in a pod i think with having a lot to say about some tunes...

in no particular order...

different class (1995) - pulp. this is not my no1 album of all time because i don't have a favorite album of all time, but this album is in part representative of "getting into music" to me. i love 90s britpop, whatever that means for a random american and this is my fav of em all (though i do actually quite rate this is hardcore in pulp's discography). "common people" is one of the songs of ALL TIME. god jarvis's little sing-song sleazyness gets me. really, really, really great classic performance of it at glasto 1995...for some reason "pencil skirt" also always really hits.

home video (2021) - lucy dacus. the newest album on this list by a long shot, but it's had songs in my top5 year end lists since it came out. i've also seen lucy live <3. this album rises above some of the others in similar company (punisher - phoebe bridgers, the boygenius ep, etc) because i never get tired of it. "first time" "hot & heavy" "brando" and "triple dog dare" are nearly always standbys in my listening history. probably gonna be an album-i-listened-to-in-college classic forever...

songs of love and hate (1971) - leonard cohen. maybe none of my favorite leonard cohen songs are on this album, but as a single work, this album stuns me. possibly the most transfixing 44:21 i've ever heard. his lyricism in particular is -- i can't even describe it. the mix with his voice, the sparseness of the instrumentation at time, the harmonies. i'm not a big stories guy but in this, yeah, the songwriting, the stories. i don't think there's another album like this one out there, really.

if you're feeling sinister (1998) - belle & sebastian. the first time i heard this album, i thought i had never heard an album so perfect. i love songs off of it but i nearly always listen to it whole. i love, love, love b&s's early sound (twee, if you will), and stuart murdoch's lyrics really, really shine. this is one of my favorite albums to listen to when i have a headache because it's lovely to just, focus on but not grating at all. i really love "judy and the dream of horses" and "get me away from here i'm dying". really, a beautiful work

rumours (1977) - fleetwood mac. i was sort of scrolling through some of my playlists trying to decide what to put on this list (it's a bit weighted towards stuff that's in rotation now) and i couldn't leave off fleetwood mac (in part to represent the huge part of my music taste that is like. classics 1965-1980). stevie nicks was one of my earlier music obsessions (the OG was the beatles). so many wonderful songs and riffs. i know this was left off the original 12-inch but "silver springs" is one of my favorite songs forever and ever and ever...

nebraska (1982) - bruce springsteen. when it comes down to it, this is my favorite springsteen album. i do think his 1975-1987 run of albums is pretty much perfect but nebraska is a masterpiece in a way that i find hard to express in words. there's a sense of sparseness and distance in this work (in part bc of how it was recorded) that i find so utterly compelling i can't even describe. "nebraska" - especially this 1984 live version - is a perfect song to me. perfect. i also like a lot of the stuff that went into inspiring this album (notably flannery o'connor) and well. where it fits into springsteen's narritivization of his own life (dude was in the dumps).

all killer, no filler (2001) - sum41. this pick is a little bit representative of the era of my life where i basically exclusively listened to pop punk but if songs of love and hate is an album that's perfectly drawn out, this is an album that's perfectly compressed. like, the title is correct. this album is fucking TIGHT. i used to listen to it at a job i hated to make the 30-min intervals go by. and it's got such classics...."fat lip"..."motivation..." of course, "in too deep." SO good.

what did you expect from the vaccines? (2011) - the vaccines. maybe this pick is a tiny bit cheesy but it is a perfect encapsulation of the era of alt rock it came from. which i love. i really like the vaccines, i think they're super fun and i did see them in concert finally and they totally lived up to that. "wetsuit" is again...one of my favorite songs of all time. "if you wanna" is a perpetual banger.

age of consent (1983) - new order. again, an album that deserves to be listened to whole, despite how good "age of consent" hits alone ever single time. sometimes i think i like another new order album more than this, but i don't. sumner's voice just out-of-tune ringing out over that sound, that new order sound, the bass, that post-punk club vibe. they're a band that don't sound like anyone else, and this is the album most indicative of that. wow, every time.

a few narrow misses

boxer (2007) - the national. i didn't get the national until one day i did. "slow show." my god. hello.

very (1993) - pet shop boys. it's too simple to say this is an album about gay love because it's so embedded in it's context but. this is an album with so much love. psb are brilliant.

the execution of all things (2002) - rilo kiley. jenny lewis CALL ME. also like. you know "a better son/daughter". there's more.

a thousand suns (2010) - linkin park. i used to listen to this at 6th grade cross-country practice. first band i ever got into on my own. idk.

this is not only my favorite albums but a pretty decent summation of the broad strokes my overall taste. thank you again for the tag!! i enjoyed doing this a lot :). idk who has done this/on what blogs so if u have PLEASEEEEE send it to me i want to see!! i tag @lfcrobbo @upthebrackets @girlfriendline @odegoob @amandaleveille @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm @kritischetheologie @bright-and-burning @a-corn-field if any of u want to but no presh!!!

[manwiththemagic]

spn s1 ep4 "Phantom Traveler"

more notes on my rewatch!!

OMG this is the demon episode isn't it? IT IS ISN'T IT? IS IT???

ew an airport. Post 2001 too damn ☹️

"you know what are the odds of dying in a plane crash? 20-1?" BRO. not helping the puking man..

BLACK SMOKE!!

In through the eyes? That got retconned.

WHY WAS SHE NOT MORE FREAKED OUT HE HAD BLACK EYES. chick you are the reason everyone's dead.

HOW DID HE JUST OPEN THAT?? demon strength???

Rip plane

Wait does this mean demons could have done 9/11? wowza...

Early bird Sam!! “good morning sunshine!"

“you get some sleep?” “yeah.” “liar. Cause I was up at 3 and you were watching infomercials” LMAOOOO but also d'awhhhh :((( the nightmares!!

“it's not just her.. It's everything.” THE VISIONS FUCK YES. YES. YESYSYSHSHG

I love the visions plot lines!!

“your never afraid?” “no man, never.” *Sam pull out a knife from under deans pillow.* LMAOOO CLOCK HIS ASS!!

“Thats not fear.” uhhuh...

WAIT THIS IS THE DEANS SCARED OF FLYING EPISODE LMAOOOOO

reminds me of hunter corp Dean who legit has a private jet..

Random guy calls Dean about the plane issue whaaaa

WAIT THIS GUY KNOWS JOHN. HE HAS INFO.

oh gosh. “yeah he was real proud of ya! Talked about you all the time.” “...he did..?” FUCK.

I still I hate john. I HATE EM. always will 😋

“welp we're missing the old man, we get Sam! Even trade” “aha. No. not by a long shot.” THATS RIGHT. CAUSE UR BETTER MF. uhm anyways.. I like this old guy, hope he doesn't end up SAD AND DEPRESSED LIKE ALL THE OTHER OLD GUYS IN THE OAST 3 EPISODES.

Monster porn live on tape? LMAO JKJK!! demon gotta stop moaning tho.

They definitely aren't showing the crash because they don't have the budget, not because it's locked in a warehouse and you don't have clearance..

Wtf is Evp?

LMAO THE FAKE ASS “nOoOooo survIvoRsSss” they did NOT get that mf off the tape.

Dude sees shit, and is now in a ward. Common. Common.

DEAN STOP HARASSING MENTALLY ILL MAN.

sams puppy dog eyes back at it.

Black eyes 😋 OOOGA!!

okay wait why tf is this demon doing this. They don't just “do evil”...

This guy isn't a monster bro..

Wait are they actually going to the wreckage?

SUITS!!!

“you look like a seventh grader at his first dance! ☺️” SAM PLS.

OMG wait they had the budget holy shit

LMAO HELP ME HELP ME “what is that?” “its an E.M.F. reader.” “no I know what an E.M.F. is. Why does it look like a busted up walkman?” “cause that's what I made it out of! ☺️ It's homemade!!” “yea.. I can tell😒” SAM WOAH DON'T KILL EM!! LMAOSKSK

Sulfur on handle!!!

Oh shit actual homeland security is there..

LMAO THESE MFS GET CAUGHT EVERY EPISODE.

Run bitch runnnn!!

This poor pilot.. it wasn't your fault :(((

Oh shit he possessed.

Sulfur!!

Babies first demon.

NO BC WHY IS DEMON BRO DOING THIS.

Everytime.. 40 minutes in.. WTF

and another crash.. fun..

BUT WHY. JUST CAUSE??

“this isn't our normal gig..” how WRONG you are pal..

“this is big.” it's really not.. you fight GOD. by s2 demons are nothing to you. By s4 Sam's fucking one. By s6 Sam's been tortured for 100's of year by an ex-archangel who's basically his ex 🤷. By s13 your son is part ARCHANGEL. sooo...

Rip chuck Lambert— SORRY CHUCK? mbmb..

Nazareth?? Wtf is this demon on?

40 minutes? Wtf biblical numbers..?

Okay they got the flight attendant on the phone.

WHY PLAY ALONG LIKE IT WAS A PRANK. DUDE.

and she hung up.. girl your COOKED!!

Deans plane fear!! LMAOOO.

“your joking right..?" “DO I LOOK LIKE IM JOKING?? Why do you think I drive everywhere SAM??” LMAOSOSO

LMAOO DEAN WAS BORN TO BE A TEEN GIRL. “really..? Ugh... Man..” while rocking back in forth. He's so REAL LMAOSOS

Dean looks like he has PTSD LMAOOO

“your humming Metallica??” “it calm me down.!” LMAOOOO

“Hey! Say it in Latin!” “i know.” “Hey! In latin it's 'cristo'” “i know!!” LMAO I LOVE THEM.

“cristo.” “sorry I didn't..?” “cristo.” “??” “nevermind.”

Sam is honestly way kinder than me. I'd be making FUN of Dean but nah he's just like "no it's OKAYYYY just some turbulence dwdw.."

Dean you are so awkward.. it's def mr smiley

They found em!! It wasn't mr smiley damn..

Awh shucks.

BEAT THAT BITCH UP!! HE TALKED ABOUT JESS.

PLANE DOWN. PLANE DOWN.

DID LIGHTNING JUST STRIKE THEM???

okay all good now.

Nono demons killed jess. It wasn't wrong.

John redirecting calls to dean.. mf come ONNNNNNNN

Sam's peeved, rightfully so omg..

Kinda meh for an important episode.

[golbrocklovely]

here is my review of bridgerton season 3 part one, episodes three and four

my review of the first two episodes is here, in case you want to read them.

obvious spoilers ahead for part one and the books

episode three - forces of nature

ngl this episode is a little bit of slogfest for me. like the first half is good, but then you get to the second half, and it's just one ball, and it's the whole entire thing for the rest of the episode. and it's just a wee bit boring. but the polin moments in this episode are top notch so it's still a good ep lol

opening up with him having a sex dream about pen??? I KNOW THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT NOT IN YOUR WILDEST FANTASTIES MY ASS COLIN BRIDGERTON

the dream itself also being just him wishing that she would feel the same as him is honestly so romantic and sweet and god i am DYING

colin fucked his way thru 17 cities and ONE KISS from pen has completely altered his brain chemistry. i love LOVE

the scene of him in the drawing room with his family is honestly my favorite scene out of the entire show. i'm not joking. seeing him so uncomfortable and acting weird bc he doesn't know how to navigate hiding his feelings for her (even at just the mere mention of her name)… i love hopelessly in love men and i'm so serious

also awkward colin is the cutest so there's that lol

that pen and el scene…. how dare you shonda. first time i watched it, cried. writing my review rn, cried again. that shit fucking HURTS

polin's scene under the willow tree, fucking top notch. so funny for no reason other than bc nic and luke are amazing actors. 10/10

i just love that he needs to know why she's ending their lessons. like… cmon now colin lol

her saying we can't be around one another for a while and his "of course :\" i'm cackling my GOD

"i talked to pene-" "whatdidshesay???" that man is a love sick puppy and i'm loving every second of it

i love lady danbury. i feel like i haven't said that yet but i really do love her lol

i wish colin would have seen his shitty friends make their snide remarks at pen. i know we see him later stand up to them but god that would have been sort hot to see now…

lady mondrich… gorgeous dress omg

colin being told that his actions will help pen find a husband, and his absolute face of disappointment… the range luke has is staggering !!

colin's nasty look at pen and debling HOW'S IT FEEL NOW BITCH

finding out that the balloon is cgi was crazy to me. like???? what the hell do you mean that's not real?????

walk him like a dog pen !!

side note, his eyes are absolutely fucking gorgeous like… wow.

the whole scene under that tent, him fidgeting with his hands the whole time, him looking so annoyed at her enjoying her time with debling, STARING AT HER MOUTH WHEN SHE LICKS HER FINGERS !!!! 14/10 i love it here

also here is something i need to note: i don't personally think he bought the cake (or whatever he ate) after she bought one so that he could taste what her mouth tasted like, which is what twitter has been saying. i personally believe that pen gave him the cake she bought when she said "wish me luck". bc we never see her eat, but we see him eat. and we never see him buy something. so… i personally believe she gave him the cake, as a sort of thank you, and he just watched her and ate it. which honestly would be weirdly hotter than him just buying the same cake as her and eating one.

the entire interaction between cressida, el, pen, and debling is so awkward i have to skip thru it. genuinely cannot watch it the secondhand embarrassment is killing me lol

why does he pull such a blue steel look after saying "it's good to be back" sksksk

ben and tilly… don't care. so sorry.

fran and samadani… also don't care lol

it's good to be back…………. but what about the debling guy? he seems weird right? lmaooo

colin springing into action seeing that pen could get hurt? HOT

pen basically almost getting hit bc she was staring too much at colin being hot? HYSTERICAL

danbury's brother is FINE holy shit

side note, claudia looks so much like my aunt it's actually a little bit scary lol

pen and cressida racing to debling…. sweetie you had no chance. cressida is built like a gazelle. take it from this short person here, you were never gonna make it sksks

fran and john meeting for the first time. so sweet.

the scene where colin talks about courage, i wonder if the heartbeat is supposed to be his or hers. i think it's her listening in on him and his words and then when she snaps out of it, that's when she goes to speak to debling.

debling's voice… smooth like BUTTER bb. just thought i would say it

el really gets on my nerves with her saying "it's probably for the best" shit. like i get why she's saying it, but again, it comes from such a place of privilege since she's a bridgerton. some of us have to get with a good match, el. god, you're making me feel sorry for cressida???? fuck me

colin and violet's scene together was just adorable. and her realizing he's in love with pen?? OMG I COULD CRY

i also love that the actress that plays violet wanted to be in the background when colin goes up to tell pen how he feels bc she thought violet would want to watch her son do that. these actors are pulling at my heart strings.

colin genuinely was about to kiss her, in front of everyone, and confess his love. WHY CAN'T MEN BE LIKE THIS

that whole scene was so intense and crazy i love it so much 12/10

i kinda feel like pen wanted colin to say something about his feelings. i don't think she had a clue how he really felt, but i think part of her hoped, even for a split second, that he felt the same about her as she did for him.

again, the english audio descriptor coming in clutch: (watching pen and debling dance) "colin's jaw tightens, he looks away… colin's eyes glistens as he watches, enraptured. helpless." LIKE?????????????

episode four: old friends

we all know why this episode is amazing. but we gotta go thru everything else too lol

her sisters literally not believing she could pull debling and she had to blackmail him… they are the worst and i genuinely hope (and know) that when her and colin get married she will have such a happier life without them in it. truly.

colin going back thru his journal, i wonder if we will get to hear more about what he has written, especially in regards to pen.

him wanting to be recluse bc he's heartbroken… my god colin, pull yourself together and go get your girl!

john really is mister steal your girl lol

for all of portia's faults, her speech on men wanting to explain shit to us otherwise they feel useless… she is 100% correct

colin immediately finding pen in any room he walks into I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT

him being jealous of debling and pen together i could fucking cackle

colin watching her thru a mirror GOD KILL ME NOW

i thought it was sweet the way debling asked pen how he should ask to propose to her. while i don't think he's a perfect match for pen, he's a good man regardless.

i want pen to have a love match, and i'm so happy she has it with colin in the end

you know what song would have been great to use? thinking of you by katy perry. such a gorgeous song and perfect for this whole love triangle going on.

i love that colin tries to get over pen but it's just not happening. he is so in love it's hurting ME lol

what i find fascinating about the scene at mondrich's club is that colin's friends are talking about all the women they have had sex with, right? and they ask him, and he brings up the contessa again, but they go on to explain "yeah but you didn't go into detail"… which basically means that even when he's supposed to be a rake and gross about women, he still couldn't commit to the bit. at most he explained that something happened, but then never went on to talk about her in a gross manner or be un-gentlemen like. god i love colin bridgerton with all of my heart.

his whole speech is so sweet and genuine, it's just a shame that so many men that would learn something from it aren't watching this show. that's just a sad fact.

portia is straight up mother gothel. all she wants is power and what good pen can give her by marrying debling. ew.

colin being fussy and not wanting to outright say he was feeling bad… what a baby lol

violet's speech to him just absolutely pulled at my heart. bc that's the thing, while anthony took the burden of being the man of the house and almost resenting his family for having to grow up so fast, colin was the peacekeeper. he was the one that wanted to make sure everyone was okay and happy. and that's what she means by never putting himself first. he doesn't care if he's in a bad mood or not, it only matters how his love ones feel, which is why he does whatever he can to make them happy and proud. and it's just a shame that so many ppl didn't understand that when they first watched and heard this speech.

pen looked so heartbroken watching the ballet. i think that was her accepting that she would never have that.

i love that in the trailer the candle sparks up, meaning that the love for pen is igniting within him. but in the show, it's blowing out, meaning that he's running out of time to confess his feelings. GOD I LOVE CINEMA

colin pushing past his "friends" THAT'S RIGHT BABY GO GET YOUR GIRL

god my heart breaks for pen. i don't get how anyone could say "debling is the better match" for pen when he literally admits that he doesn't think he'll ever love her. pen DESERVES love. so many ppl in her life have never cared or loved her, not in the way she deserves. and yall want her to continue to feel that emptiness? no way.

colin breaking all the rules to talk to pen when he easily could have waited to speak to her after the dance lmaoooo i love a crazy in love man

eros and psyche battling it OUTTTTT

debling realizing why she's at the window all the time. wow.

i kinda love that he was okay with colin being into pen but not pen reciprocating those feelings lol

portia yet again getting worst mom of the year award

the carriage scene…….. THE CARRIAGE SCENE

the first time i watched this scene, i was sweating SO MUCH by the end of it. genuinely it was obscene how hot i was (in more ways than one lmao)

also immediately after its airing, i watched it like 10-15 times. and i haven't seen it in probably over a week and i'm dying all over again for this review.

him running after the carriage, colin bridgerton the man that you are.

even while he is desperate and pleading, he is still kind and asking for permission GOD HE IS SO HOT WHY CAN'T HE BE REAL

his reasons for why pen shouldn't marry debling is laughable but i love it regardless.

his pleading face before he confesses… his EYES?????? you're fucking joking rn

his confession, hands down, is the best in the series. and hell, it's not even the last one he does omg i'm not gonna make it !!!!!

the fact that for a moment he legit thought she didn't love him back was nuts bro you are BLIND

genuinely anytime i watch this scene, i feel like i'm intruding lol like should i leave? maybe i should go sksks

every single shot of them kissing is hot and sexy and romantic and dear god in heaven i am LONELY

her running her fingers thru his hair…. god luke/colin has never looked hotter. he might as well as rolled his eyes back in head lol

it's titty season yall. TITTY SEASON BABY

i implore anyone reading this to find the clip of this scene without the music. not only bc nic and luke's moans are hot, but bc at one point he calls her beautiful and i think in that moment i died.

i think i could genuinely watch this scene 100 million times and notice something new every time

honest to god, one of the sexiest things about this scene is him watching her feel pleasure. like holy fucking shit, that is so hot.

moaning into each other's mouths??? you guys are absolute fucking FREAKS

colin saying the line about the carriage driver is so much better than pen lol

also in general show!colin is way better than book!colin. hands down.

the look colin gives her, both before their little kiss and than afterwards right before he gets out makes me fucking FERAL

him fixing her dress and hair is literally so cute i could cry

that once over he gives her when he gets out of the carriage…. why is he so hot?????

i just love how exhausted he is of her not understanding him sksksk

in conclusion i love love and i love polin. when part two comes out, no one talk to me bc i will in fact be an absolute wreck thank you and good night :)

[karmicpunishment]

KARMIE BELOVED hear me out. ada minecraft server.

kyouka keeps taming animals (no one can bear to hit her. what if the dogs get mad at them. what if they have thorns armor. WHAT IF IT MAKES HER SAD.) and she is simply accompanied by a pack at all times

atsushi is still learning how to play and he builds these ugly-ass houses like we all did starting out but hes so proud of them (as he should be)

i was torn on dazai but i think it would be funny is hes so so bad at minecraft. he keeps walking off of inclines and dying bc he doesn't pay attention to his healthbar. he insists hes just playing on a higher level (hes actually rlly good at pvp and uses that for shenanigans but general play? he sucks so bad)

alternatively i think kunikida should be really good when he does play bc it would annoy dazai so much. i think he builds really nice houses and insists the game is just math but doesn't even play that often bc too much time gaming is unhealthy (it infuriates dazai that hes so competent despite barely playing)

i think ranpo plays exclusively for the chaos. he and dazai are a terrible combination (for everyone else) but also extremely funny. also i think he breaks minecraft in insane ways for fun when he gets bored and its a tossup whether the rest of the server suffers or benefits bc of it

tbh i think yosano should go feral in minecraft? like i think she should steal good gear from whoever has it and go kill to her heart's content. u cannot tell me she doesnt have insane amounts of repressed fury i think she should relieve that stress by going on adventures where she kills whatever she finds. yosano should 1v1 the warden powered by sheer spite i think

i think fukuzawa would not really understand minecraft?? but he gets on the server sometimes to spend time with the other members and has a minecraft cat that follows him everywhere (it took so many fish to tame. he worked so fucking hard for that ok)

OH MY GOD KENJI. I FORGOT HIM. THE BOY. i think hes so excited to play with everyone :) he can't build but he collects animals like kyouka and also provides the majority of the food for the other server members. hes like me fr just out here making massive farms of food and also collecting soo many farm animals in pens (he insists on not overcrowding the animal pens)

anyway i will end this by saying rip tanizaki hes the only remotely normal player on this fucking minecraft server

HI PAT!!! and yes yes yes to all of this

kyouka as an animal hoarder tamer is so cute and so real. kenji definitely does this too and yeah he'd totally make Massive farms. ranpo tells him he could make automated ones with redstone and he finds that amazing but also much rathers to just do it himself. they have huge buildings dedicated just to the animals they've collected and basically every name tag someone finds goes towards naming them all.

atsushi would 100% start out building the ugliest houses fr...all the dirt 4x4s and then the wooden box houses. he gradually gets better until hes a pretty decent builder. i feel like he'd also be the type to just get utterly lost in the game lol both in terms of directions (but he always writes down his coordinates) but also like he'd look up at the clock and realize he's spent 3 hours mining.

dazai being an utter disaster at the game is so funny to me. he's not allowed to go mining by himself because he will just die in a random cave and lose everything (also not allowed in the nether for similar reasons). he would be the type to purposefully hit a zombie pigmen just to make his fellow players lives worse lmao. the first thing someone gives him on the server is feather falling boots because he keeps walking off tall places (half the time on purpose the other half are complete accidents) it just makes him walk off things more but at least he's dying less because of it. he's an expert at setting up in game pranks though (usually on kunikida, the poor guy)

kunikida being great at minecraft is so near and dear to me now. i feel like he played the game a lot as a kid because lets be honest, its perfect for him but then kinda fell out of playing it as he got older. and then one of his students from when he was an assistant teacher reminded him of it and he got back into it. he definitely plays for like a couple a week to destress on his own private world where he has the most insane builds. he also is totally a resource gatherer/hoarder too, he's always giving the others supplies (though giving is a strong word, half of them just steal from him).

ranpo is also a disaster in minecraft i feel. he could build insane things but he doesn't have the patience for it honestly. same with redstone stuff, like he gets it but he doesn't usually take the time to do it. he's absolutely awful at pvp though and he gets lost ALL the time. he is the perfect person to go to when trying to find a special area or material, he always knows what someone needs. i also feel like he'd like potion making, idk why. he also really enjoys insane mod packs (though he makes other people install them for him)

yosano would totally be an insane pvp'er. she enjoys the other aspects of the game too but she gets the most enjoyment spending her nights beating mobs. she's not much of a builder but she does like to spend some time decorating the inside of ppl's bases. she's the kind of player to set off withers to defeat on her own for fun. she also plays bedwars lol and is a beast at it.

fukuzawa definitely has just a nice little house with like 5 cats in it. he logged on the first day of the server and then maybe like 3 times since but its okay. and absolutely no one is allowed to touch his house, under threat of ranpo's chaos lol. also no one really wants to destroy the presidents house, it just feels wrong.

tanizaki is just a fairly well-rounded player, like his builds aren't amazing but they're nice, he's decent at combat, he likes resource gathering etc. i feel like he and naomi have like several worlds of their own that they've kept up with for years at this point, with just like sprawling cities worth of builds. his favorite things to do in the game are probably just going on long journeys to find new biomes and fishing lol

[urtrickster]

markate thoughts i am poorly compiling into this post

gone gone gone markate is real and it's so sweet and sad and bittersweet and just mark and kate being so soso in love with each other and mark continuing to love kate long after she dies at the murder castle. i could write a fic for this if i were brave enough

tunnels au. remember that? i had a thought of mark and erin swapping places w jamie and kate nd being the ones to survive that night and just. kate dying in mark's arms as he begs her to stay awake. they had only just made up with each other, finally back together. it can't end here, it can't. but it does, with kate sacrificing herself to make sure mark made it out alive.

not really a thought just. sometimes i listen to the boy who could fly and it'll. just. 'i guess i never should have loved you, but i do forever 'cause you love me' + 'if you were gonna leave this world, how could it be without me?' + 'now it's all over my tongue and it still has no taste, 'cause without you, there is no me' markate.

imagine kate surviving and mark dying. imagine, in her grief, kate continuously dreams of mark. imagine dream mark trying to help kate move on. imagine it.

dark mermaid aus r where it's at just mark nearly fuckin drowning in the ocean after trying to take some nice photos only to be saved by mermaid kate and kate is like 'well i was going to eat you but you looked all scared and worried over that weird box of yours being in the water and it made me curious so im letting you live for now' and mark is like 'what the fuck' and then they fall in love

werewolf kate vampire mark that's it that's the thought

just a cute domestic scene of markate staying in for the day and existing together. mark occasionally taking a photo of kate here and there because he just can't help himself. kate asking mark for advice on scripts.

u know what fuck it kate can draw really really well and i think she likes drawing mark. mark takes photos of her and kate sketches him out.

sometimes i like to imagine that mark can play the acoustic guitar, y'know? so i'll sometimes just picture him absently playing the guitar while kate sits with him and just listens. doesn't matter what he's playing, she just sits there and admires him while he plays.

mark and kate still broken up but still very aware of each other's habits and preferences so well that whenever someone else needs to get something for one of them, they go to the other for advice.

markate the 30th by billie eilish.

but also markate i don't care if you're contagious by pierce the veil. yeah.

more on werewolf kate vampire mark. everyone literally everyone expects their roles to be swapped and are Very surprised when they see mark sipping on a blood bag with a massive fucking werewolf just chilling next to him.

kate having a nightmare. her and mark aren't together anymore but she still finds herself calling mark for comfort because hearing his voice always calms her down. mark always answers, and the moment he hears her voice he's dropping everything and showing up at her apartment in the middle of the night w some food and some shitty romcoms

markate at jerin's wedding and kate catches the bouquet.

okay now picture an au where tdim doesn't happen and markate didn't know each other. picture kate having a cute adorable little chihuahua that she takes to the dog park every week. imagine mark being at the dog park as well w connie. the chihuahua and connie become best friends which in turn means mark and kate see each other often and get to know each other. the dogs are matchmakers is what im saying.

i think mark and kate have 100% pretended to be a married couple for one reason or another. we don't know what happened in topeka. anything we want could've happened in topeka.

mark 100% teaches himself about crystals and shit and he 100% buys kate crystals bc the way her eyes light up and the smile on her face when he does is all worth it

me and kearney once talked abt mark having a youtube channel where he mostly talked about cameras and photography but occasionally played a game here and there w jamie and i just imagine kate being his number one fan that's all.

i actually think markate would thrive in a zombie apocalypse. don't ask where this came from im listening to speed by atari teenage riot and it made me think of zombies bc of lollipop chainsaw it's a whole thing anyways yeah markate zombie apocalypse au

uhhhh that's all i can think about rn.

[harapeveco]

Knk beach episode plot we need and deserve:

They go to the beach for some stupid reason don’t really think about it they are just there

Mai’s van is just cartoonishly filled with beach stuff (umbrella, towels, at least 7 floats, beach chairs). As part of the joke they filled it with so much stuff Tobi almost dies squished by them. For some reason they also put him in the trunk but Baku wasn’t he had a seat in the back seat

Basically Tobi gets bullied a lot for my amusement. Also he doesn’t want to be there at all

Speaking of Tobi he’s wearing the same outfit as Yusuke in the beach trip but instead of blue swimming trunks and a white hoodie the trunks are bright orange and the hoodie is black. He’s dying bc it’s too hot but he refuses to take it off

Only Mai and Rei know how to swim while Monika and Tobi use the floats

Also Tobi doesn’t like water in this one he’s like a rabid dog he will bite you if you even dare to think about it (Rei is bitten but actually manages to make him go in the water)

Yuu and Nagi are there too actually but the joke is they are all trying to beat Yuu senseless while absolutely no one questions why Nagi is there. They are besties in this scenario but like they aren’t does that make sense? It does in my head

Ryou is just there too he’s looking from afar witnessing all the shenanigans but he’s not a part of it he sees some shit going on and decides that’s not his problem he just leaves he won’t put himself in a situation

They eat popsicles. The joke here is that when asked what the strange flavor of the popsicle is the answer is just “orange”

We can’t forget the watermelon bit. Tobi hits Yuu instead of the watermelon but that’s on purpose

Also let throw in some beach volleyball bc yes idk how that will go but it’ll be a mess for sure

At some point and don’t ask me why or how they are in a boat. There’s a storm coming (again don’t ask me why or how it just happens) and fucking Tobi falls into the water and is drowning like the loser he is so ofc everyone is throwing stuff he can use to float but everything is actually heavy and sinks. “Throw things that actually float!” He yells. “Here grab this rope!” Says Mai throwing a rope he can grab onto. “Here grab this other rope!” Rei throws the end of the same rope thinking it was another one. “ITS THE SAME ROPE YOU IDIOT” he screams and drown and fucking dies. After the storms ends everyone is crying, Rei laments “I will never forget his last words ‘it’s the same rope you idiot’ 😭”

Thats it’s that’s how it ends

Jk they go to shore and Tobi is there like a wet kitty with the bat (or stick) they used for the watermelon waiting for them so he can kill them. Cut to the persona 4 chasing scene you know the one

You may have noticed Yukito has not been mentioned throughout the story that’s bc I forgot about him just like how Eve and Newo do every chapter. Sorry Yukito ily

The end

[yallemagne]

I'm sobbing why does my dash have to be filled with reminders about Phantom Blood.

So, the thing about... actually crossing over Dracula and Phantom Blood is. It's complicated. So, Araki looked at vampire lore and said "this ain't gonna do it for me. not sexy enough. not enough gore. where are the man-dogs?"

Religious iconography doesn't kill vampires (it makes an honest effort. Dio gets impaled by a statue of Venus but he lives unfortunately). They use breathing martial arts to harness the power of the sun (which Bram doesn't even explicitly say harms vampires. what the fuck Bram, toss me a bone). AND EVEN THEN! I swear to god, ninety percent of the time Hamon doesn't even work against vampires because all of the highly trained Hamon masters get fuckin' decimated by a guy who turned into a vampire last week.

I feel like maybe crossovering the plots would be weird... but to have the characters interact would be interesting. And I'm not just saying this because I've spent too much of my life working on Phantom Blood rewrites. I love these characters, I hate what happened to them. Jonathan Joestar dies at twenty-one. Unfair, illegal.

But so, since I keep thinking about this and I've already posted nonsense about crossovers, I might as well dip my toes.

Warning that I don't go deep enough into Jojo lore to make this comprehensible to non-Jojo fans.

Okay so, Phantom Blood takes place from 1880-1889. So, not really a viable time to crossover with Dracula. I know some are more fast and loose about crossovers, but I'm the guy who gets mad at people who think Frankenstein was set in Victorian times. I'm insufferable is what I'm saying. The earliest you might place Dracula is 1890 since that's 7 years before the publication, but some people go with a later date (for context reasons? shit about New Women and stuff) or even 1897.

But whatever. I guess... you can lie about things to make a crossover work... but you can't change the timeline of Jojo's bc Araki is an author that actually tells you what fucking year it is in his manga which makes him a god in my eyes.

So, probably the best way to connect the Joestars to the Crew of Light initially is that Jonathan Joestar is nobility. Perhaps the Joestars have met the Holmwoods? Jojo and Arthur could bond over having no mom? And later, their dads dying at a very inopportune time? And their wedding plans being ruined?

Dio Brando was a lawyer (or still in university to become one?) but I don't think he would have gone into property law?? I think canonically, he planned to be corrupt and take bribes from criminals, but I've seen fanfics that hint at crossover potential just being Harker and Dio knowing each other because of their lawyering. I think that's neat. Dio thinks this man (with the same damn name as his stepbrother) is so insufferable. And Harker doesn't even have the excuse of being rich or having a stable family, he's literally also a poor orphan, it vexes Dio so much, "stop being so happy you're not allowed, you're supposed to be bitter like me".

Erina Pendleton is the daughter of a doctor and later gets into medicine herself to nurse Jojo back to health after his first... well his first BIG LETHAL fight with Dio. Her father could know Van Helsing? Or Seward's parents? I assume Seward's father would also be a doctor but I dunno. You know he got that asylum through nepotism. Anyway, bullies call Erina's father a quack, so maybe he could indulge in theories about vampirism like Van Helsing? We see nothing of him, but he gets sponsored to do some medical research in India. It seems like big deal research to me, but I wouldn't know. It wasn't plot relevant, it's just the explanation for why Erina is gone for the seven-year time skip.

Also. isn't it funny that Phantom Blood and Dracula both have a seven-year time skip?

But here's the big issue I keep slamming into like a fly knocking against a glass window. Phantom Blood takes place in Liverpool where the Joestar estate is. I mean, there's also some cavorting in London, and Dio is from London, but the characters all spend the majority of their time in Liverpool. Maybe I'm just... I'm thinking too deeply. After all, most of the locations in Phantom Blood are made up. And England is just so small.

Mixing the vampire lore would be the hardest. Vampires are OP in Phantom Blood, and I refuse to give Dracula that much power. Vampires don't even... use their teeth here. I guess the sharp teeth are just for se-- *gets shot* They just stick their fingers into your skin like silly straws and suck it out that way. And they are created either by wearing the Stone Mask or by feeding vampire blood to someone/just spilling vampire blood on a corpse.

There's not really themes to the vampires in Jojo's. Dio and Jonathan themselves represent duality, but like... vampire are not Un-Dead in Phantom Blood. They're just... hyper-evolved humans? How the Stone Mask works is that it pierces specific areas of the brain to crack some evolutionary code and give you cool powers at the cost of not being able to walk about in the sunlight. People who are turned using blood tend to become ravenous monsters or have to serve the vampire whose blood turned them, but those turned with the mask retain free will.

Dio can fucking... make his blood so cold that he can trap people's entire bodies in ice. He gets sliced in half with a cool sword and walks it off. His entire body is destroyed by Hamon but he cuts off his own head and places it on Jonathan's body. It's fucking wild, and I refuse to give Dracula that power. Also, anyone who turns into a vampire turns young immediately, no need to drink blood. I honestly still don't know why Jojo vampires even drink blood. I think it's just to be edgy. Nothing can kill these fucking cockroaches except stands and Hamon... and sometimes the vampires have stands... and sometimes the vampires have Hamon. And that's illegal, but it's happened more than once.

I'VE GONE ON A TANGENT.

THE GIST OF IT IS MAYBE JUST-- WOULDN'T IT BE COOL IF, ON TOP OF HIS KHUKURI, JONATHAN COULD BREATHE ON DRACULA AND KILL HIM IN AN INSTANT??

There, I said it.

[rayasland]

⌗ HASHIRA ICKS ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁

➜ a/n ; my apology for being off for a while 🤭 also, HAPPY LATE NEW YEARRR!! i cant believe its already march MASTERLIST WILL BE REOPENED SOON 🥲 part 2 when i decide to get my lazy ass out of bed [TYSM FOR 200 FOLLOWERS ILYSM 🫶🏾🫶🏾]

➜ warnings ; swearing, not proof read so expect some mistakes

➜ genre ; crack, fluff(?)

★ MITSURI !

she would DEFINITELY act like those vsco mfs. like you would be meeting up for a study date or something and she'll bring out the largest water bottle known to man and all while you stare at her struggle to lift it out her bag. to this day you wonder how she's able to carry that around everyday.

her nicknames get progressively worse. she goes from "hey my love!" to "i love you so much my beloved pumpkin kitty kat sugar boo boo!!"

i feel like she'd also be those mfs that make it so obvious someone is talking about them. except she does it by accident. "babe," you whisper, "see that dude behind our table? he's my ex. you remember elijah right?" and then she's turning right around, pointing and saying out loud, "elijah? ohhh your ex!" you just facepalmed as your ex turned around, giving the two of you a dirty look.

she'd try way too hard to seem intimidating (canon) but no matter how much she tries, as soon as the person she's arguing with says something rude back, she's sobbing on the ground. "ugh your lipgloss is soooo outdated." she says rolling her eyes at the person that insulted you. "you're one to talk about outdated. you have fucking scrunchies and a huge ass hydroflask that you never really even drink from anyways. also, those bracelets you're wearing are the presents i got for my 5 year old niece. on top of that you act like regina george from wish.”

you best know the next day she came into college looking like a whole other person. soon she got really popular for having the “glow up of the year” (i am having way too much fun with this 😭😭)

★ TENGEN !

overuses the same jokes to the point where its so cringe you have to cover your face out of second hand embarrassment. "why did the cow cross the road? to-" "-go to the moovies. i know," you say rolling your eyes. “how did you know!” he asks and you just stare at him like 😃

also texts like a he came straight out of youtube comments. "No one: Absolutely No one: My dog: Me: *laughs at a fish dying*" "HAHAHA BABE UR SO FUNNY HAHAHA" while in real life you’re texting that with a face straighter than drake (friends suggestion bc i literally asked her who’s the straightest person she knows)

he talks and acts like a british dad😭😭 “hey darling me and the rest of the lads are gonna watch the new chelsea game against arsenal.” and u think nothing of it until u start hearing them shout “PASS THE BALL YOU FUCKING TWAT!” and cheering as loud as if he were at a concert when his team scores.

he’s terrible at thirst traps ☠️ you were at an important work meeting when you heard a ding from your phone. it was a message from your husband. “Hope you enjoyed the show baby girl 😻🥵🍆” and you try your absolute best to not start bursting out laughing when you see the video of him thrusting his hips into the camera like ricardo milos. and to make things worse, one of your co-workers looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at and immediately started laughing. then everyone wanted to know what you were watching and the whole room erupted in giggles. safe to say everyone would make references to the video whenever uzui was around while the guy himself kept wondering if they were talking about him or it was just inside joke he doesn’t know about☠️

★ RENGOKU !

speaks really loud for no damn reason... (canon)

like you would be talking shit about someone in the cafeteria the he would be speaking so loudly basically the whole world could hear him. "babe, you know jessica from class 2?" you whisper, "yeah apparently she was caught fucking Mr Wilson to get a higher grade in chem.."

"i always knew jessica was a slut!" he practically screams, earning a few turned heads. "i could tell just by the way she walked up to me on wednesday!" you facepalmed as he continued to ruin not only his reputation, but yours as well. "and did you see the way she was practically begging for sir to screw her! like this girl would do anything to get laid!" by now the whole cafeteria (including the dinner ladies) turned to look at rengoku. some laughed and some gave him the nasiest look they could muster (her friends).

you were NOT surprised when an angry jessica made her way to your table.

he leaves the bathroom door open after he’s taken the most stomach-churning, revolting, nauseating, egregious, execrable, beastly shit so whenever he leaves, the horrible stench of shit makes you want to vomit your dinner out. and to make things worse, he always and i mean ALWAYS forgets to flush the toilet.

the smell was so bad you considered if it was a good idea to let him live with you.

“kyo.. do you mind closing the door after you do your business in the toilet and flush the toilet?” it was like talking to to a kid “or at least use the air freshener so i don’t have to smell it.”

and you almost rejoiced to the Lord when he immediately agreed and promised he’ll remmeber to close the door behind him (he still forgot a few times but it’s fine i think 😁).

all his clothing from socks to even underwear are fire themed. your friends always wonder how you manage to walk out standing next to him, who’s wearing a fire hoodie, fire trousers to match, and trouser nike’s. you once took him shopping so he can actually find another fashion style he likes instead of dressing like a 13 year old boy from 2015 but he resisted and continued arguing about how fire is like his own watermark. you eventually just gave up and suck it up when people on the streets laughed at him or gave him weird looks. he’s lucky you love him so much.

* RAYASLAND … 2023

[likesaly]

!!24 25 14 12 5 7 For Sagara, Yukinaga, Sataka and uhhhhh Eruno

Sagara

5 - I've already said the My Melody Anime OP so I'll give a different song for her, bc I've been thinking abt Winx Club again recently probably just any of the transformation songs, Sagara would love them fr

7 - I love how everyone draws her as cringefail as possible, her silliness cannot be contained /pos

12 - Sagara has a local weird girl status but it's not in a derogatory way it's a positive way because she's a good worker at Little Berry. She throws freebie sweets in her customers' orders.

14 - Yume Kawaii!!

24 - Asriel from Undertale (like in a way before he died and stuff like in 201X way)

25 - I thought she was silly, she was one of my favorites upon first playing the game

Yukinaga

5 - E.T by Katy Perry!! 4 Obvious reasons

7 - I'd say the same thing as above for Sagara bc they're vv similar

12 - He probably has a space themed bed room and I want to think has a rocketship shaped bed

14 - Typical teen 80s boy fashion

24 - Adam from Roblox Flicker (okay hi to my flicker moots if you're reading this but Yeah I know the lore has been removed/isn't canon anymore but I mean this in a reverse way for Yukinaga bc if I remember correctly Adam was an alien that pretended to be human and such so like ygs see my vision??)

25 - I never had strong opinions abt him but I did (and still do) like him!

Sataka

5 - For a second one (bc I added going down from the last ask game) I'd say Be quiet and Drive (specifically the acoustic version) by Deftones, not sure why but I just think Sataka on that one

7 - N/A (sorry man the majority of the talk for 1beat is literally it's main cast you can't even rlly find content for anyone else /lh)

12 - Sataka definitely took a shower after going into the public footbath, I'm sorry I'm not letting him live that one down /lh

14 - Ouji or Military Boystyle(?)/Lolita (I'm not sure what the masc name for the second one is)

24 - N/A - I don't think see anyone from fandoms I'm into bc I thought Abt this for a good while now

25 - I didn't have any at first but at the end of first playing File 02, I was like this man really went "Fuck you I am drunk and dying, you will not get the satisfaction of my death looking like an accident and have me die in vain" /POS

Eruno

5 - I read this and my brain instantly went Alone by Marshmallow (I have not listened to this song since second or third grade in my gacha phase I don't know why I thought that but take it ig /lh)

7 - I like how she's always drawn w Potete and Aira like her relationship w them is so important,,

12 - Upon being body switched (the og dog potete), Izuchi gave her candy and Izuchi regrets that very much bc she probably got on a sugar rush reaking havoc /lh

14 - Boystyle I don't think I have to explain myself for this

24 - Cat the cat from HELLO, HELLO WOLRD! (They have the same energy, like Cat got into Kotobukis house just to get food and got chased out like Lowkey Eruno vibes)

25 - Love at first sight (/p), she's so important

[witnessprotectionprogramurl]

0H0! who're these?!

OH HELL YES I GET TO TALK ABOUT EXOCOLONIST!!!!

ok so basically they're characters from a game called I was a teenage exocolonist. the game has a lot of stuff but it also has romanceable characters. this got very long so I'm putting it under the cut

the main character is sol (which is why they're in all the polyamorous relationships that exist with the romanceable characters). technically they don't have a personality of their own because the whole game is about making choices as sol so it wouldn't quite work yknow.

dys is the most perfect human being in space. sym is the most perfect alien in space. usually they kinda fall in love with each other even though dys should have been aromantic and to me he is. sometimes if you manage to interact enough with both of them, they fall in love with each other and with you (so sol bc main character). I can't remember how that ending goes tbh bc I got it a long long time ago but in my head sol, dys and sym stay in love forever and live happily ever after as trees or whatever.

now rex is also the most perfect human being in space. he's part dog also, not that that's relevant. the game never says it but he's aroallo and you cannot argue with me about it because you know I'm right. he's the best romanceable character because 1 he lets you hug him every season (technically you can hug him endlessly but like you only get friendship points for hugging him once per season) and 2 not only is he up for having a casual / open relationship, he also is fine with fucking as friends (the fucking is just implied btw like fade to black sort of thing), AND you can date him like. usual dating the same way you date everyone else in that game.

now marz is the most beautiful person in space. she is also insufferable for a while but I forgive her as long as she doesn't invent capitalism (canonically she usually invents capitalism yes). I love her she's done nothing wrong except for inventing capitalism. now the thing about her is that apparently no matter what she never ends up with a fixed partner (or so I've heard) and I think that's very aromantic of her. anyways she kind of always thinks rex is hot and gets together with him BUT if you date her first or rex first (tbh idk bc I always do the same thing and date rex and leave her alone god bless) then eventually one of them asks to make the relationship include them both. thus we have sol, marz, rex.

nomi (aka nomi nomi) is rex's best friend. they are canonically nonbinary and some flavor of aroace that is unclear to me because what the fuck is demi/ace supposed to mean like. is it demiro ace? is it demiace? what. but anyways if you keep bribing them to like you (as you do with all the characters) for all of eternity eventually they fall in love with you. I think. it's been a while I can't remember. they also fall in love with rex. so then we got sol, rex and nomi.

the reason why I hate sol, rex and nomi together is that nomi is aroace to me like non partnering aroace like they are so sex repulsed and romance repulsed throughout the whole game and then suddenly they're in love with their best friend who literally says they're like siblings earlier???? cmon.

anyways yes. thank you for asking me about my blorbos who I'm very normal about.

[gnzma]

29, 30, 31

munday time ; ACCEPTING

[ okay im gonna leave 29 as the last reply bc im gonna be long one ]

30. what are your favorite RP tropes to play? (angst, hurt-comfort, etc…) ;; also asked by @murmursdraconic

[ i Love fighting threads!!!!!!!!!!

fights in which two muses are training together? hell yeah. fights where two muses are fighting it out but they're having so much fun making the other bleed? let's go!! maybe they also need to let out some frustration and that's the only way they know?? yipeee!!!! fights where both muses are really fucking angry and aggressive and go from two guys throwing hands to turn into beasts?? YESSSSS fights where one muse wants to kill the other but the other wants to make them See The Light and make them understand but the thing goes from playing defense to being as aggressive??? YAHOOOFDSANMNGMDFH!!!!

fights fun fights good ]

31. do you regularly play crack?

[ i wouldnt say i play it regularly, but rather. sometimes i wanna be silly, sometimes i wanna be fun. it's mostly quick back-and-forths and sillies and it's Fine uwu ]

29. what are your honest thought about your muse’s canon? // also asked by @rocketborn

[ are you ready for gio to rant about pokèmon writing :3 ]

for SuMo, which is also the canon i follow the most... I'm generally pretty okay with how they dealt with him. Like I always write him thinking mostly about that version, of course adding a little more of "adult content" (as in, him bleeding and dying and being Fucking Depressed in ultraspace mostly), but that's the version i fell in love with. I am and I will always be vocal about how rushed the final part of gen 7 was and how i'm DISGUSTED!!!!!!with the idea that a good ending implies team skull being disbanded (thus making it an ending where he didn't really learn to not run away from responsabilities :^)) but for the most part it's great and i love him.

USUM can choke fr fr ♥ I like the interaction he has with Hau in the Garden, but that's about it that was the beginning of Lusamine being woobified because This Woman Can't Be Evil I Fucking Guess (and while i have 0 idea of how hes handled in Masters i did see their interactions with mutual respect and i want to blow myself up), and by extention their relationship being instead written in a more healthy way that. i genuinely can't fucking see. like fuck off USUM all my homies hate USUM they did great with Necrozma they did okay with Rainbow Rocket i wish Guzma's personality wasn't Lusamine Guard Dog Except Without The Nuance Bc We're Afraid Of Evil Women Haha like cmon man!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have. so many mixed feelings about PokeSpe. i'm going to say it right away i think it's mid the battles are great everything else but mostly how female characters are written is okay at best terrible at worse. from the little i saw they really decided to keep his undying loyalty to Lusamine and i hate it here but i enjoy how they managed to write him slightly more unhinged.

the anime did him justice actually. I still think he wouldn't touch the League, ever, and he wouldn't get mad at Golisopod for an ability he should know he has (miss me with that "he's just pretending he doesn't know :)" the anime makes it very clear), but i like his competitivity and his arrogance and how they handled his finale a lot. with the years i made peace with aniGuzma and i think he's very neat despite my problems with the anime (coughlusaminecough). i'm not particularly annoyed with how they confirmed he decided to start a war on alola bc he couldnt be a trial captain either, with how the anime is written i can see that as a good reason actually idk i like how they managed to make him feel like a proper threat and a good "final antagonist". good shit

so basically the tier list is

SuMo except the ending 2. the anime idk 6. pokespe and at the 99th place usum

[aksannyi]

tw: death of a family member

ok so my mom texted me today, i'm in my 7th period block, students are working, i check my phone and the message is basically that my grandfather is dying. (my last living grandparent, not that it's super relevant but maybe it is? idk?) he's going into hospice, they're gonna make him comfortable. no idea how long.

my immediate thought is, shit, i gotta fly up there, can i afford it, etc. these are the thoughts i had at 1pm when my students were all doing their thing, i was also trying to keep them working and not show them anything was amiss bc it isn't their business unless i share it and also if any one of them gave me even a shred of sympathy i would have lost it and i don't want to do that, i will cry on my own tyvm lol

anyway. i look at flights, reasonable for flight + car. reasonable-ish. and i texted the ...w/e the hell he is bc someone would have to stay with the dog since he works 24h shifts

had an appointment today, did some errands. whatever. then i'm sitting here at home, listening to some music, just sitting there and thinking and thinking and thinking:

i don't want to go.

and it sounds selfish, and it feels selfish, and it feels shitty.

and anyway there's history here. so my first grandparent to go was my mom's mom in 1993. shittiest saturday morning ever. my 2nd grandmother died in 2017, right after hurricane irma, and my dad flew me up to say goodbye. i was at her deathbed with family members, it was hard, also my family was being racist (which is totally irrelevant but it still pisses me off how they got mad at me cussing but it's cool for them to just fucking say the n-word) (assholes)

then last summer, 2022, my dad texted me that my grandfather (his dad, obvs) was dying and he had like 24hrs. not enough time for me to have gotten up there to see him, so dad told me to call and then put me on speaker phone and i said my goodbyes to him that way. i'm crying thinking of it now, hardest fucking phone call i ever made.

and then i got fucking covid so i couldn't even go to the funeral, and my mom. this person. she makes a guilt-trip post on fb because both of my brothers could make it and i couldn't, and she's convinced she will never see all 3 of us together again (and she never ever lets us forget it) because two of us live at literal opposite ends of the country - PNW and florida, and the one who lives up there is in the northeastern part of the country so it's like almost as far away as you can possibly triangulate 3 people in the continental US. and it was like wow mom fuck you, like i wouldn't have come up if i didn't have LITERAL FUCKING COVID, no i was not going to drive 1200 miles or infect an entire fucking airport, i'm not an asshole. and also i just felt like pure crap, tbh. like physically.

anyway.

i'm struggling. i know that he wants to see me. he called me, when i sent the blanket (which some of you might remember, (this post: https://www.tumblr.com/aksannyi/722322909005299712/aksannyi-my-grandma-passed-in-1993-october-to?source=share) and he said how much he misses me and wants to see me because he knew then that his time was running short. it's very hard for me to get up there, and i generally just don't like it up there due to a number of factors (completely unrelated to him, but definitely related to other family members, like my mom and a psychotic aunt and several shitty uncles) and just the damn drama of everything that goes on up there that i moved away from for a damn reason.

and i'm like. i should go. i know objectively i should go. i should go because it's the least i could do for him, the one thing i can actually do that would make him happy. like fuck my mom, fuck my brothers, fuck my aunts/uncles and the entire goddamn stupid small town i'm from, just to see him. but the problem is that i wouldn't just be seeing him, and i don't want to Deal With Them. all of them. collectively.

(and also i don't wanna see him like that... when i went to see grandma, she had been on the decline for years. she wasn't fully coherent, didn't always recognize me. every time i went up there while she was still alive i assumed it'd be the last time i'd see her)

(my dad's dad, on the other hand, knew me right up to the end. he'd be absolutely thrilled to see me. every time. but he was also in his upper 90s and so i also had made peace with the fact that he wasn't gonna be around that much longer)

and like it isn't like i didn't know this was coming, like i'm not stupid, obviously. he's had a lot of health issues, mom would text us about his doctors diagnoses and shit so we knew it was coming. he's 86 now. it was inevitable. and that's like. ok. i have made peace with that. but i'm struggling now with this incredible guilt because i don't want to go.

i can afford it. it'll be tight but i can manage it. i can do a whirlwind weekend trip. i'll be tired as shit for work next week but whatever, wouldn't be the first time. but i just. i don't want to. and that's what's fucking me up, it's that i don't want to and i feel like shit about it. because i know i should. and do i suck all that shit up and just Deal With It dot com...??? i do, don't i. i need to. fuck me, this sucks ass.

well if you read all of this and you have any advice or anything i guess feel free, i just needed to kinda get this out and deal with it. i know either way i'll be fine, but like do i really wanna deal with my mother fucking guilt tripping me for the rest of her life (and probably mine bc she'll fucking haunt me when she goes istg) ugh. ugh ugh ugh ugh uGH. ugh.

ok fine whatever time to look at flights (it is too far to drive unless i take time off work and ngl i will need my sick days, for like actual sick days.)