#really went crazy on my alt lol

[mechanichuntsman]

old SFM dump/random shit # 1 (mostly re-uploads from my alt Twitter acct.)  [gonna separate these with the tf2-related, oc/sonas and the ones that are ss from sfm itself]

[thatone-churro]

y’know just as soon as i start getting comfortable with the idea of being open/relying on my dad and him being more comfortable with my choices than i feared, i can essentially throw all that out the window with how vehemently he yelled at me at the thought of my getting my septum pierced (even though i never said i was yet. i said my side before i decide anything else). also making underhanded remarks of me never getting tattoos other than the one for my mom. like okay don’t ask me why i don’t tell you about anything or talk to you or anything. what the fuck.

[fortunately-bi]

Do the followers know I'm a metal head? Do they know that I want to be covered in tattoos with an alternative look who listens to obscure metal bands and stuff? Or do I still come off as like, the nerd in the basement lmao

[lanalaynetalks]

Tenrou Island is one of my favorite arcs! I love this arc so much. I think this is possibly a controversial take. I don’t know. My favorite thing about shows is learning more about systems in the world. I think it’s just so interesting to see how wizards become s-class. This is going to be long. I am so sorry I love this arc so much. It’s a lot of Cana… I ADORE CANA. Plus a lot of Levy and Gajeel! I just think this arc features so many fan favorite characters so well. This is also before The Thunder Legon was nerfed so they have some cool moments. Just I love this arc so much!

1. I do think it’s crazy that they really just throw us into the arc with no filler episodes/arc between. I think this is one of the only arcs that doesn’t have filler episodes before or a filler arc.

2. Fairy Tail having a sacred place implies that other guilds do as well.

3. Something I find weird about S-Class wizards is why does the title follow you from one guild to another. Juvia and Gajeel were S-Class in Phantom Lord, but not Fairy Tail.

4. Silly thing time! Hiro Mashima trying to put all the main characters and main side characters on the island.

5. Lisanna and Juvia. I wish we kept seeing them as friends.

6. Evergreen and Elfman are one of my favorite ships and should be a main ship. It should be the big 5 instead of big 4. They were more together by the end than any of the other ships! I LOVE THEM!

7. Oh Mest… I miss your silly personality. Also how did he go from ok looking, to hot, to Nastu wannabe. I will be mourning when we see hot Mest for the last time.

8. Why did Makarov keep picking Cana? It seems a little cruel.

9. First Mavis mentioned. Mavis is one of my favorite characters of all time. I love her so much. Fairy Tail Zero is so good and made me love her more.

10. While pacing was my biggest issue for the last two arcs I feel like this is when the show found its pace. Without this arc the grand magic games would have not been as good as it was. I said what I said!

11. If I walked into the route and saw it was Mira I would have just walked away. Mirajane scares me the most out of all characters in the show.

12. I’m going to say it! I ship Lily and Carla! I said what I said!

13. I never got why Hades was so obsessed with Zeref. Because Zeref literally taught him how to use magic. I also wish we got more info on why he turned evil. It’s hard for to believe e he would attack Fairy Tail because he was a founder and was like best friends with Mavis. Him being Precht makes no sense because we never get a full explanation on how he turned evil other than he basically accidentally went down the alt right pipeline

14. I will never get over the Iron with a heart in the O. When I saw it for the first time I screamed and I still scream and fangirl over it!

15. Makarov talking Gajeel into joining Fairy Tail will forever be one of my favorite Gajeel scenes.

16. This arc is really when we start seeing Wendy come into her character and she becomes less of just the little kid to a true character.

17. It’s heavily implied you can’t say no to being Fairy Tail’s guild master. We see Makarov be like lol no and Precht being like lol too bad. Then we see Guildarts being like lol no and Makarov being like lol too bad! Then we see Guildarts being like lol as master you are now master again! Like can they really not say no?

18. I wish we could see Makarov in his prime. I know there has been discussion about how the series is going to continue. I don’t want next generation Fairy Tail I want to see old generation Fairy Tail. I want to see Makarov and his old team beating people up. I want to see Precht as guild master. Or even early days of Makarov being guild master! I would even be ok if it was like Fairy Tail Zero where it was a one arc story.

19. I do have a theory that Precht made Fairy Law. I don’t think it’s stated ever that Mavis made all the grand fairy spells but I maybe wrong. So that’s how he was able to make Grimoire Law.

20. Another theory I have is that Precht took care of Makarov after Yuri’s death.

21. Now this is an out there theory. I know it. I believe that Yuri called Laxus back to the island. HEAR ME OUT! We know that some things just happen in Fairy Tail especially with the living and the dead. Yuri promised to always protect Mavis also his son was in danger. His legacy (Fairy Tail) was in danger. I also think that it could have been Mavis, but I think it’s more poetic coming from Yuri.

22. Makarov saying it’s up to his successor and us being shown Laxus… I am going to call it right now. The end of 100 year quest we will be seeing Laxus becoming master. This would be a perfect way to end his character. This is not the post to get into it, but ya that’s my prediction.

23. God Slayers… oh the magic that was sort of forgotten about. How sad.

24. I will die on this hill. Laxus should have been the Lightning God Slayer. This would had been able to connect him, Ivan and Hades together in a perfect way.

25. This arc also has some of my favorite speeches.

26. One thing about me is I am absolutely sat every time Mirajane transforms.

27. Elfgreen is such an underrated ship.

28. I love Evergreen so much.

29. Capricorn is cool! I really like him even if he isn’t used enough. I love him! Probably second favorite spirit. First is Aquarius because I am an Aquarius and she is just awesome.

30. Favorite Juvia moment is when Meredy said she was wanting to kill Gray.

31. Also wow the show that has shown over and over again to become more powerful is to channel your emotions is showing how emotions makes people more powerful. I really don’t get why people give Fairy Tail so much hate using the power of friendship. It’s almost like we are shown over and over again that is literally how it works. More emotion = more power. It also makes me more mad now knowing the show was created because Hiro Mashima was lonely.

32. One of my favorite things to come out of this arc is Juvia and Meredy’s friendship.

33. Honestly Juvia vs Meredy is my favorite Juvia fight.

34. Cana my love. We both have daddy issues. She just like me for real!

35. Me realizing I’ve misspelled Gildarts name this whole time… oops

36. Seeing Cana’s mom’s will and seeing Cana’s cards being around it. I think her mom also used card magic.

37. Can we talk about how Cana was defeated by Laxus in her first S-Class trial. We don’t talk about this enough!

38. I truely believe that any minor inconvenience Cana threatens to use Fairy Glitter.

39. Fairy Tail having grand spells implies that other guild have grand spells

40. Rip thunder legion…. They aren’t dead they just get hella nerfed after this arc. Well more than they already were after the battle of fairy tail.

41. One thing about Gray is going to try to cast ice shell.

42. I love Ultear so much. She is one of my favorite villains.

43. Lily being scared of thunder and lightning. Adorable. I love him.

44. I do think Hades being a founder was added later on because when he revealed he was the second guild master he didn’t mention being a founder and I think that’s something that would have been mentioned.

45. LAXUS IS BACK BABY! ONE THING ABOUT LAXUS HE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE!

46. We are so spoiled in this arc. We got so much of side characters showing their skills.

47. So Nastu just got the flame lighting power. Honestly don’t understand how it worked! But I don’t care because it’s cool! Wanna know what’s not cool? The fact that Wendy is the only 1st generation dragon slayer to not get an extra dragon slayer element. I hope by the end of 100 year quest she gets something. I want cobra to give her poison. Because that would be badass.

48. The exceed side mission is so adorable and goofy. I LOVE IT.

49. To think of Hades just kept his Fairy Tail emblem he would have been able to win the final fight because the tree was restore

50. People say it’s a plot hole that Ultear was able to restore the tree because she said she can’t use her magic on living things, but I think it was just bad phrasing and really it’s like humans and animals she can’t us her magic on.

51. The Laxus ship that makes the most sense to me is that him and the thunder legion are just a poly relationship. Yes Elfman is apart of this.

52. Another reason why I don’t think Hades was always supposed to be a founder of Fairy Tail is because how did he not recognize Zeref as the man who taught him magic?

53. I love Gildarts and Cana so much! I know if Cana told him from the start he would have stopped going on his long jobs to take care of her. He is such a girl dad.

54. Everyone begging Makarov to let them stay and fight is another moment that makes me cry every time. Honestly the whole episode does.

55. Most iconic scene in Fairy Tail is them holding hands and no one can change my mind.

56. Mavis protecting her guild. Her babies! I love her. The foreshadowing of fairy sphere being more powerful than Acnologia.

Tenrou Island is one of the best arcs. It is also a soft reboot of the show. I can’t wait for the grand magic games. I don’t know if I’ll watch the clock arc. I haven’t watched it in years. It is always a skip for me because I want to get to the grand magic games. I know I missed a lot during this arc and forgot to write things down. I watch the show while working on my school work. I love talking about Fairy Tail so don’t be shy send me things! Thank you for reading me fan girling over my favorite piece of media! The grand magic games post will likely be multiple parts because I think it’s peak Fairy Tail.

[teefrlxg]

[OC]

Guess who has been playing Creatures of Sonaria (my friends dragged me into the game) Note: I drew a humanoid version in this post. I do not own these species; I only draw based on in-game species. -ˋˏ✄----------

✦ My regular OC, Onyx (also known as Zhan), but I drew them as Urzuk! I love this specie so much until I learn about the lore... I love them even more ToT ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

✦ This Flamerir is Ignite (alt name is Sebastian), Onyx's partner. I went crazy when I found the creature resembled my OC, so I grinded for the Fire and Volcano artifacts (3 fire, 13 volcano). I was impatient, so I bought the species right away LOL ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

✦ Teen Flamerir looks funny to me. He seems kind of bald. He's less bald than in the child form, but still kind of bald. I thought drawing Ignite as a teen Flamerir would be funny, but then, somehow, he turned out really cute here. ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

✦ Here is one more doodle of them hugging and sleeping during winter :-) (I love treating this post as my diary) ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────

✦ This is how I imagined them as creatures before the COS addiction got me. Ignite is a red lizard, and Onyx is just a really long horse/dog(?)

✦Here is another OC of mine on the left! Her name is Huaying, and she's a Nian beast :3 I only played COS for a week so... I was disappointed to learn that Taiyuelong is a monthly special creature... ToT) sad noise Anyway... see you in a few weeks (uni jailed me fr)

[allyougottado]

HI Doodle! How have you been? I've been kinda meh bc of college but thats beside the point. About your reblog of sending you a character (or in this case, coach haha) I wanna see your list on either Maybel or Joshua or Lumen Brooks(I'm indecisive about those 3, they've been filling my mind lately aaaaaaa), even tho they dont have much lore, I love read others HC, so I'm eager to read yours^^(sorry if they wont fill all the list thingy:()

i’ll try to do all 3 cuz i rly like these coaches as well 😎 (i'm skipping fave line and song i associate them with because... ppl dont speak in just dance and i'm not creative enough to associate coaches with any song other than their own map LOL)

maybel‼️‼️

fave thing about them: her design is so cute!!!! i love yellow and her dress looks inspired by poodle skirts with the little line (phone cord?) spiraling down the skirt lol it’s so adorable. i especially love the alt. design cuz purple sleeveless jacket is CUTESY (also she looks like she’s matching with joshua with the sleeveless jacket hehe 🤭 very CUTE💯💯💯)

least fave thing about them: nothing to hate abt her 😍

brOTP: love you like a love song (this headcanon was subconciously created by looking at ur art btw LOL)

OTP: JOSHUA‼️‼️‼️

nOTP: i’m ngl i have never seen any other ship with maybel in it LOL

random headcanon: she’s a softie but the one thing she’s loud abt is her #LOVE!!!! i probz got this from the straightforward and aggressively-lovey vibe from call me maybe (and the dance too), but also a description from the JD twitter lol (they describe her as the sweet one hehe)

unpopular opinion: idk i’ve never seen too much opinions that i disagree with abt her

fave picture of them: it’s scrapped but this is kick ass maybel from puppet master lmao

joshua😎

fave thing about them: the fake personality i made for him in my head 😼 and also his yellow glove probably

least fave thing about them: i'm gonna be really honest this part will probably be empty for almost everyone i’m not a person who hates easily 😭

brOTP: i always thought that #thatpower extreme and sorry looked similar to him (i think everyone else did too LOL) so YEAH they’re totally bros to me. i also group epsilon with those 3 but if i explain it will totally derail :P

OTP: maybel 💛🩷

nOTP: haven't seen anything too hateable yet lol

random headcanon: kuudere lolz. basically the exact same thing i said for maybel but instead of sweet and soft (🥺) he's like cold and serious on the outside but super hype and chill when he's dancing or talking to ppl he likes

also he’s probz the most normal compared to #thatpower extreme and sorry lol

unpopular opinion: once again, i haven't seen too much opinions i can disagree with lol

fave picture of them: this screenshot i took from youtube lmao

lumen brooks!!!!!🎸

fave thing about them: ur gonna be so shocked when you hear this but i love his yellow raincoat i want it for myself. also he has TEAL HAIR! TEN MILLION CHARACTER DESIGN POINTS TO YOU UBISOFT (blue hair=looks like miku=good)

also i like rock so his map is so cool. i like how they went with a quirky weird rock map instead of a depressing dark one like the two they added in 2023 like yeahhhhh lets switch it up a little (no hate tho i fucking love evanescence BTW)

least fave thing about them: WOAH it’s a bit too soon to hate lolz

brOTP: probz p1 and p3, zephyr reef and crimson riff. i know they’re most likely not even real but i’d like to think he treats them as if they were his bros. also it would be rlly funny if he just has crazy flow powers and can make stuff he draws real harold and the purple crayon style

OTP: nothing rn

nOTP: also nothing rn… that game needs to come out so i have more brainpower to think of cool stuff to say 😾

random headcanon: when u think punk he doesn’t really look like one compared to crimson riff but he probz acts like one lol. would probably hate ppl like night swan and nithe long. and probably kids in america too (she’s falling for the propaganda… 😔 lol) also he’s loud. idk why i think that it just fits to me lol. also everyone probably thinks he’s #CRAYZAY 🤪 but don’t worry bro. i understand you 🤝

unpopular opinion: idk at first i thought he would be chill with scotty but i somehow changed my mind like scotty’s too much of a sweetie pie and lumen is too feisty (to me hehe) i still like fanworks with both of them in it tho they’re funny. like clashing personality stuff is still very entertaining to me

fave picture of them: idk he’s only existed for a couple of months so there’s not much pics of him… probz the little cartoony promo art from twitter cuz i like how huge they drew his rainboots here LOL

(also hiii mey i’m meh as well LOL when i typed the first half of this post i was out at the mall and i feel like i embarrassed myself so hard there 😭 embarrassment still lingers and it sucks cuz i love the mall but whatever… I’M SENDING MY ENERGY TO YOU SO COLLEGE CAN GET A LITTLE LESS SUCKY 🫶💓)

[eiswolfzero]

https://www.tumblr.com/eiswolfzero/749748053308768256/httpswwwtumblrcomeiswolfzero7496571182353940?source=share

Possible twist to explain how infection got into world in the first place:

One of the ponies...is secretly a traitor and is purposefully doing this. They maybe went through the mirror portal or did something and got into context with Gen 1. They see how the world is simpler, more peaceful...or something that drew them to that. They spoke to the Gen 1 ponies and somehow....they agree to fuse together and so created a virus that changes ponies into their Gen 1 forms...so they can live in that happier first Gen paradise.

and if you wanna make it more intresting and add new phases....after a while of being one and then a while of being the other (like after sometime of twilight being her alt...) the memories slowly start to warm and fuse together to create a sorta harmony where they turn into a complete fusion of the two so they can both do their normal life but also have the peace of the Gen 1....like maybe they can talk to their alts in their minds.

Because if Celestia fully becomes her alt...how tf can she move the sun? Luna can't (I think, she didn't seem like she could). If the sun doesn't move, the world is done for. Sooo imagine if inside Celestia's mind (as an example) she talks to her alt and they make a compromise....two minds share a body...fusion...they work together. Make it so they can drink tea all the time AND still move the sun.

Sorry if this is too crazy. Got more ideas as o typed and had to keep ball rolling. Sorry if it's too much...I know it probably clashes with your original idea....so think of it as a funny alternate universe thing or just something to randomly think about for a laugh or idk lol!

Those are really wild ideas! Certainly something to think about for fun! (don't be sorry! I've done my part thinking up the G1 infection, if you want to take it further, be my guest haha!)

It would certainly add something sinister, the infection being on purpose, rather being on accident via Spike.

Makes one wonder how that talk and harmony between G1 and Original pony would go, since the G1 ponies would be the invading once, demanding space and mind and body. Couldn't have been easy!!

[vyvesvi]

chuang asia (chuang 2024) has just announced their list of trainees! as usual someone made a quick facts thread for the 18+ girlies so here are some trainees i'll be watching based solely on vibes :)

my main picks at the moment are xueyao, yiyu, rjing, & akina, but i'm sure thing will shift, as they always do!

jessica (03) is a trainee under sole u entertainment, although it's unclear what her specialty is. i noticed her because she looks a bit more mature than is typical on these shows! ig: twinkletwinklejessica

zeng xueyao (01) is kinda my main pick right now, she was great on chuang 2020! it's always exciting when chuang trainees breathe lol

maliya (02) / maria - not much is known about her, but like jessica i like her vibe, we'll see though!

p.amp (02) / pam is an actress, not sure what her vocal/dance abilities are. i like her vibe! ig: ppammelar

yuan ke (03) deleted her ig lmfao but she went to shanghai musical theatre academy so im expecting Vocals. she's also done some modeling work which makes sense because she's gorgeous

pailiu (99) is a thai-vietnamese model & influencer who competed in Miss Thailand. not sure if she can sing or dance but she kinda slays anyways for now so let's see. ig: pailiuuur

anh sang (06) is a former sgo48 member. she plays piano & is an okay singer (like elyn she has a nice voice but likely minimal training). ig: nguyenlengocanhsang

yiyu (02) was on the great dance crew & is a confirmed member of A class (or whatever they're calling it this season). her dance videos are really great, it seems like popping is her specialty

r-jing (03) is a former sm trainee who left when aespa was finalized. she was on the voice kids & she's an amazing singer. ig: rjing_jeeranan

elynn (02) is a youtuber & influencer. she naturally has a really sweet voice but hasn't trained formally as far as i can tell. she plays the guitar & the piano though, which is cool. ig/yt: elynleonggg

ninnint (02) is a model & dancer. her singing voice is just okay but her vibe is so fun to me idky. ig: ninninttt

preemmy (04) is a model & a friend of p.amp's. idk what her performance experience is but she's sooo pretty idk. whoever styled her duting the pfp shot is an opp tho. she's also a huge fan of into1 so this myst be really exciting to her, lmfao. ig: p.preemmyy

akina (99) is the lead vocalist & main dancer of the jpop group faky! her vocals are fantastic and im looking forward to seeing how she does! i hope they never style her like in this profile again though 🙏 ig: akina_faky

ikema ruan (04) is the theme song center & competed on gp999. it'll be crazy if she has a miu arc (gp999 → theme song center (pdj s3) → in debut line for the whole show)

shye (02) is a singer & producer from singapore. i didn't know her before this but im really enjoying what im hearing from her! if i had to guess i'd say she's on this show for exposure since her style is a lot more alt leaning. since it introduced me to her though i guess the plot worked! ig: shye.mp3

pream (06) is a dancer and a confirmed member of A class. she was a member of the girl group celeste before they disbanded and she's currently under gmmtv record. based on celeste's only song she seems to be a rapper & a dancer. ig: im___.preme

the csr girlies need no introduction so i won't introduce them lmfao. i hope that this brings them some attention but i don't think any of them debuting would be good for their group tbh. don't really understand the decision but 🤷🏿‍♀️

[sneezemonster15]

So this person @tiesthatbindel @neolavender @neolilac @itunisaaa @neosprivateacc who champions Sakura and holds that Naruto is straight (they said he wasn't gay, didn't say he was bi either, and didn't seem to question his sexuality at all),

who holds Kishi is heteronormative and homophobic (🤦), has been harassing me on my private message and askbox. Here as well. They are using multiple accounts to do so.

Sorry guys, I had to shut off my ask box because this person is just refusing to leave me alone, all because I wrote lol to their comment. I was polite to them, and slightly dismissive perhaps, but this person is making it a mission to gather their followers to block me and hate on me. But seems their only followers are their own alt accounts. Heheh.

I think they feel slighted because I won't take them seriously. They really went from calling my content stellar, and God tier, to harassing me and trying to report me because I wrote a post over a year ago where I talked about my community being on the receiving end of systemic ethnic and religious discrimination in my country.

And a lot more but I blocked them. They are not only badmouthing me but denegrating other SNS fans that I happily interact with. And I am baffled. They simply won't stop.

To prove their point, they also gathered screenshots from a Hinata stan called 'chhote-pandit' who harassed me and several other SNS fans last year, someone who threatened to feed our intestines to their cats for shipping 'brothers', and called SNSers horny fujoshis and dirty lesbians. That person was banned by Tumblr. This person's account also seems to be partially banned. Why are SS and NH stans like this? Bah. Like it's some type of neurosis.

They think Sasuke shinden is canon. Lol. Thing is they went personal, and petty. While I put effort to link them to my content for their benefit, they skipped all of that and started to harass me on my message boards. When I saw that they were spamming my posts, I blocked them. Like I would with any other person. And THAT was their undoing.

Ah. Now one would think I am affected. And I do feel bad, both for myself and them because I didn't deserve this much craziness for saying fanfic writers should dig deeper and presented a research based and well reasoned perspective. And they chose to take offense and take it to a personal level, getting petty, verbally abusing me.

Meanwhile they don't know anything about my ethnicity, my background, my struggles. And if I told them, I can promise they will take it all back. Heh. It can be grounds for even suing them. Yeah, it's that significant. I come from a very interesting (and rare) socio politico cultural intersection. But I value my privacy and anonymity. One other SNSer asked me about it politely and as a response, I left some reading material with them as answer. It explains it much better than I can.

I also am not really bothered as of now because I think I hurt their ego real bad. Just by not taking them seriously. Because I said lol to their comments. They have bigger problems than my dismissal of them.

Anyway, I understand fandoms can be challenging and a lot of people with strong voices get dragged for it on Tumblr. Especially in Naruto fandom. Heh. But the simplest way for them to deal with it was to actually talk storytelling and characters with me, like I did, by sharing links to my content. Instead they got personal while not really doing any of that.

The reason I am here is the story, my boys, Kishi and I find it a lot of fun interacting with other SNSers here. I am grateful that people even make time to read my long winding, seriously long ass posts. Hehehe.

So if you see some stuff somewhere where people are talking about blocking me or talking shit, that's what it's about.

Cheerios. :)

[koqabear]

HELLOOOO i am back with my (hopefully) long awaited analysis/review!! i don't know what switch flipped in my brain last night but i woke up this morning with such an intense Yearning to read killer instinct after years an entire week and so... i did! i almost want to scold myself for how long it took me to finally read because why on earth was i depriving myself of yet another masterpiece?? literally as i was reading this i thought about how this could be just like that wattpad one direction fanfic that got turned into a movie with how good this is like you don't even get it...

i just finished reading so my brain is kind of all over the place huhu i wrote in my notes again because there's so much i want to touch on but nothing that i wrote is really coherent but i'm going to try my very best to write everything in a way that makes Sense. i think i might just spend an entire hour and a half, or even more, (edit: it took me even more, and not because i was typing but i because i got distracted) just trying to get through everything i want to talk about though because holy shit... there's literally just so much; i think i went straight into my notes just during the first scene where beomgyu and taehyun are trash talking each other just before their first ever fight, and i just couldn't stop thinking about that initial teaser warning about a "healthy dose of homosexual tension" because literally, the first note i wrote down was GOD THIS PLACE REEKS!! (read in the voice of that blue shark from spongebob that's like 'oh brother, this guy stinks!') i love it ofmmgmgng the cockiness. The undertones of homosexuality. Chef's kiss; in response to:

“If anything, I should be the one worried for you,” Taehyun mutters, a fake look of sympathy crossing his face at the thought, his voice patronizing as he continues, “I wouldn’t wanna ruin your pretty face.”

And then the way it just Kept Going when taehyun shows up at beomgyu's mom's restaurant and they're literally bickering at the counter like they're about to start fighting in the middle of said restaurant... you're crazy but i'm crazier because i was absolutely living for every second of it!

okay, in an effort to make this all Make Sense i'm just going to start off by saying i think one of my favorite parts of my whole experience with reading killer instinct was that it was written as if you were to read the alt text to an entire kdrama... which, in hindsight, i guess is kind of what literature for considering some kdramas are based off webtoons or some movies are live adaptations of books? lol? i don't know how to better explain this idea because it already makes sense in my head but i guess i really like the way everything flows so naturally into different scenes regardless of whether there was a cut or not and how you vividly depict the settings of scenes in a realistic way that it feels like the words i'm reading are happening around me or they're something i can easily visualize as if the setting was actually in front of me in the form of a show or movie; and this is something i really enjoy seeing... reading? when i read because i think it's just so so important that, as a reader, i can picture exactly what and where something is going on because not only does it add to the experience of reading, but it also i guess shows (?) in a way, what the writer was imagining as they were reading and... that's important! i feel like a lot of people kind of don't really pay attention to or focus on adding the details to describe the setting or atmosphere of where their story is happening and it's kind of just left up to everyone else's personal interpretation and imagination through word choice, dialogue, and whatnot. okay, so ig little tldr; i really like colorful descriptions! i can immerse myself better that way!

anyways back to the kdrama thing, the general idea of the plot i was getting in the beginning (i was still in that crazy bamtori headspace so my take was still very much centered around him and his existence... sorry <3) was like... it's supposed to trick viewers into thinking they know the obvious which is that the story is centered around beomgyu who's the average mischievous male "lead" — except he's not actually the male lead and they just want you to think he is — who is constantly getting himself into trouble and worrying his best friend, who just so happens to work at his mom's restaurant, sick because she has to go drag him out almost every time and then boom! here comes taehyun, and everything you thought you knew about what you were watching is chucked straight out the window because surprise! the male lead is actually the second one who you just met and not the first one you were suspecting the entire time.

also, kind of in addition to that, i kept getting like... mad at beomgyu lmfao? like mc was taking the words right out of my mouth!

“I asked for your help— three hours ago. Yet you still chose to be a brat and go back upstairs the moment your mother pitied you. You—“ cutting yourself off, you sigh, shaking your head before you’re picking the wet towel back off, turning your back to him, “I hope you realize how much she spoils you.” 

possibly the realest thing mc could have ever said i was getting Real Life Angry because most of the time momma's boy boys (? words) are can be so evil like they'll KNOW they're in the wrong too for taking advantage of their mom's kindness like that too and as i kept reading i would just get more and more angry at the shit beomgyu would say like the whole:

“You know, for a mere worker, you sure are involved in our personal lives.” Beomgyu’s words are hissed out and sting like acid as your eyes widen, gritting your teeth together as you watch Beomgyu sit back in realization— as though he didn’t know what he said until now. 

SOLFHJUSHGJIDURGH... i don't even think you understand how bad this triggered me, like i swear to god when i tell you i have never wanted to jump through a screen and hit a man so badly in my entire life... i genuinely wanted a go at him. you made it so hard to like him at all and be the crazy bamtori i am (this had to be on purposefudhughdrg) i genuinely hated him and before i started reading, i saw another anon send an ask about focusing on his character so i was like omg~ but noo. i literally wrote a note under this part saying, 'this man needs to die and go to hell. Mere worker.... MC IS HELPING YOUR MOM AND YOU LIVE. SHE GOES TO YOUR STUPID UNDERGROHND ILLEGAL FIGHT CLUBS BC SHES STILL WORRIED ABOUT YOUR WELLBEING AND YOUUU.... The belittling is fucking crazy im gonna die of cardiac explosion like a sim if he keeps this shit up' so for the entire first third of the story i was like JIN LET ME AT HIM!!!! also side note, it's kind of funny (as in coincidental) too because the other day i saw these tweets where it was basically like 'i think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren't as forgiving as their wives' and one of the responses to that tweet was 'husbands lose their minds a little when they realize their wives aren't as forgiving as their mothers'. now.. beomgyu is neither a father or husband in killer instinct, but he IS (or at least i thought he was at first!) a little bitch, so the way that both statements basically touch on how as men realize there's less and less bullshit they can get away with as there's more women surrounding them, i thought it was crazy to actually... be able to see that dynamic between beomgyu's extremely forgiving mother and mc who acts as this "uptight" older sister (and taehyun's instigating after made me absolutely livid i wanted to bite his head off) who always has to get him out of trouble just made me think of that and i was like damn! in essence, i was once again reminded that i hate men and the patriarchy, BUT as i kept reading i realized there were actually a lot more layers (what did i expect really... like of course there was, it's not a koqabear fic if there isn't insane characterization!) slowly unraveling as we get to the part where more about mc gets revealed and by the time jay was introduced, i had to stop reading just to write down everything i wanted to tell you that i noticed and liked because... seriously just by adding half of the industry into this story allowed it to be so much more jam packed with characterization and layers; i think you did a really good job writing their personalities and back stories and then when applicable, incorporating both of those into their fighting styles with characters like beomgyu and jay for example.

The things he could do with the prize money were endless— he already had a few ideas in mind, thinking back to his hardworking mother and how much she struggled to raise him on her own while still managing her restaurant. Then he thought about you, of the hard times he gave you, knowing how much you feared him going through the same things you did, of turning to a life dependent on fighting and gambling.

i wanted to jump off a building. So bad. and like i said, by the time jay got introduced i had gotten a pretty good gist of everything and i just want to say i love love love how everyone is characterized so differently and how you made it a point to acknowledge so many things when it came down to writing their fighting style and why they do it. i'm genuinely amazed at how detailed and intricate the world building for this fic is. it's absolutely insane. even though there's cliches like the spoiled rotten momma's boy who's an absolute menace to society and says or does things that make you want to slap him silly and tell him, just like many characters in the story had, to just use his brain for once and think. and then the weak kid who's filled with so much rage and a burning desire to protect himself with, what started as self defense, but allows/gets manipulated into having it become an unhealthy way of coping with his trauma and the only way he knows how to express his anger as he becomes the very same bloodthirsty monster he used to fear all those years ago the moment he steps into the cage... it's actually brilliant idk! i think there's just a whole, completely different and deeper sentiment you can get by simply reading it instead of watching it. being able to have this sort of epiphany, whether it was something you intended on incorporating or my overanalyzing, i think my general point still stands that it takes an amazing and extremely talented writer to take something that's generally viewed as a cliche or an overdone trope to the point that it's boring and express it in a way that feels new and even refreshing to read and realize.

like i mentioned before, i think it's just as important that there's characters like mc who feel like they're entitled to stop someone from going down the same path they did and feel responsible when they still do even though in actuality it's not their fault or doing at all, as well as beomgyu's mom like. ugh. i love how despite knowing mc's (and yoongi's!) history with those clubs, given they met there, his mom never once blamed or accused her for beomgyu's constant returns to those clubs or even implied that she was a bad influence on him. even when she gets the phone call that her son's in icu with an infection from getting stabbed at one of those clubs, instead of scolding mc or berating yoongi, two champions of the very illegal underground fight club she had to take beomgyu out of as an adolescent and now see him lay in a hospital bed in critical condition because of his involvement there again... she was happy and relieved to see them and to the point she gave them big ol' bear hugs like T_T i just love the little side found family you incorporated because being able to read the scene which is, essentially, what leads mc to be taken under beomgyu's mom's wing and out of that bad place with something as simple as "and you? will you be alright here?" followed by “if you’re ever hungry, you can always stop by. On the house,” then realize that that very same kindness without judgement she was shown is something she still remembers and cherishes is so beautiful and heartwarming idk like i can't even be ashamed if this is just me overanalyzing and being corny because i ate that shit up! licked the plate clean! not an ounce of anger or judgement in that fictional woman's body... having his mom, be a mom was just kind of the icing on the cake because there was still a character like her who existed in the world you created despite all the chaos within it. also joy too omg even though her time was fairly short, it was still nice to have that just-happy-to-be-here and carefree bubbly personality thrown into the mix of what is already a serious matter like illegal underground fighting, gambling, the welfare of character's like beomgyu; his mom; and mc herself because... like you wrote, mc's only there and out of where she came from because of beomgyu's mom and with him in icu racking up hospital bills from being in critical condition and getting treatment for it, his mom would be subjected to pay for all of that and it doesn't just affect her, but it affects mc too. just knowing that there was so much on the line for them, how mc blames herself for not doing better to save him and the years she's been trying to steer him out of that direction; there was just a sense of realism i experience reading and it was to the point that as i was taking these notes of what to say, i realized that in a way joy's character could even be angering to some...? because there's just so many things at stake and despite the rigorous physically taxing training to make ends meet by putting Everything on the line into this one, extremely dangerous glimmer of hope, there's still someone like joy who can lessen the blow just by existing and being there. This was not at all supposed to be this long but fuck it we ball!

all seriousness aside, because holy shit why did i start making comparisons to the real world when i was just talking about characters and personalities, there were so many times i laughed while reading this because even though. the story's not at all meant to be comical it is like in the very beginning i had to take a step back because no way my babygirls taehyun, beomgyu, jin, TAEYONG, and jeno are all here? also the whole thing where jungkook and mc very Clearly have something going and putting it in a TAEHYUN fic is so sick and twisted!! you know he taehyun looks up to him jungkook! 😭😭😭 the part where they're kind of having a little rival moment had me giggling because like beomgyu, i also wanted taehyun's head on a saucer in the beginning because aside from instigating and being a bitch with an attitude (telling mc to keep her nose out of beomgyu's business) after just having taken a jab at beomgyu by checking him when he said that him and mc are like family i was just. LIKE THAT'S CRAZY!?#@?! the little warning about him being a bitch was so necessary because i got whiplash reading how he'd interact with beomgyu and mc. just a very insane man, but he was still my silly little sharkcat (this is also a crazy thing to say sorry); despite them all being connected to very much Illegal and Shady things you kind of perfectly portrayed what being a "newbie" really is because there's seasoned veterans like mc and yoongi, aaand then there's taegyu. the part where he can't stop looking at where the gun is concealed took me out so bad like this poor boy 😭 he just wanted to fight and win some money fair and square then next thing he knows he's being sent on a mission to get that money back because his sparring partner got set up and, on top of that, stabbed??? HIS ASS DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THAT? also the way this next part flows so naturally had me laughing a little like. I feel like zendaya with tom holland right now but hear me out you were funny on Accident while writing this?

“You know I have a club to run, right?” it’s clear you’ve given up as you mutter a yeah yeah, softly, pouting like a child to the older man, “I can’t have this place running while you’re training that poor kid to death.”

“My regimen has results.” you say defensively, glaring at Seokjin, who simply puts up his hands in defeat, unphased by your attitude as he glances back at Taehyun.

“He looks like he’s about to pass out.” 

the pacing was perfect? so was the forced proximity. LET ME GET ON WITH THIS. okay, so back to the kdrama point i made earlier. that still stands! the late night deep conversations and life stories shared at a convenience store over a bottle of soju and cheap instant ramen despite the whole world wanting to fall apart right under your feet and the sky is willing itself not to come crashing down on you... that's something i love to see! honestly, i think by the time taehyun and mc started making progress...? in their relationship there was already so much i had to process, it was too much for my brain to handle and thoroughly analyze to comment on, so i just kind of blacked out and regained consciousness when there was that kiss of adrenaline from winning and taehyun not being given the chance to process any of it. Also making out in front of a hospital is crazy? in a good way though! still definitely not as crazy as like. literally everything else going on but aside from that i think the laaasst compliment i have is that. you're getting way too good at writing that little turning point where the tension between mc and the member just kind of Explodes everywhere. it was like gyu from camera shy possessed taehyun through the keyboard like. Sorry but the parallel between “How are you gonna make it up to me now?” and “I won just for you... Don't you think I deserve a reward for working so hard?” is crazy i'm sick to my tummysgjdjgdh. I need to be held after reading this – ml

HI!! When i tell you your review absolutely FLOORED me, you were so detailed and went above and beyond with your thoughts/analysis, i feel so appreciated right now i could cry :((( you’re fueling my ego right now, this is a bit dangerous…

as always, i go into detail under the cut ! if it all sounds insane i apologize bc i did indeed go insane a little! 

-[Taegyu and the intense… tension]

ACKSNDKS NO BE HEAR ME OUT. killer instinct was three seconds away from looking like a taegyu fic from how much tension i kept adding 😭😭 when i took a step back from the scene i remembered thinking “holy shit the mc hasn’t even showed up yet” like,,, i had to fight for my life to make her character relevant once she showed up??? this could’ve ended up as a serious bromance if i hadn’t been more careful 😭

-[descriptions and storytelling hehe]

thank you sm for picking up on this omg <///3 i think this story is one where i was really inclined to make everything really detailed? i feel like in a setting and world that intense, the environment is rlly important to include bc it adds to the storytelling!! especially in the opening scene, something must’ve possessed me bc i was just super determined to set the mood properly dksbdkd 

i really appreciate you pointing that out !!

-[i almost made gyu a love interest… (hides in shame)]

omg lemme just say, throughout the beginning of the fic i almost considered adding a sprinkle of unrequited feelings from Beomgyu for the mc, but i decided against it bc the idea of a “love triangle” in a story like this was straight up unnecessary; im so glad i did tho, because it allowed me to focus on a different dynamic i’ll get into in a bit! 

-[turning ml agianst beomgyu ?! / abt gyu, the menace to society.]

HAHAHA UR SO REAL FOR THIS 😭 when i was thinking of how i would write the mc, i knew i had to give her a reason as to why she was such a “bitch” to beomgyu— and lemme tell you, i absolutely despise a mommas boy, specifically one like beomgyu. he’s very childish and spoiled (on the surface, at least) especially bc his mother treated him like royalty growing up. she only gave him the best and always coddled him bc she was all he had and she wanted to give him the best life she could. so as a result, she raised a very rotten kid 😭 naturally, when the mc appeared and began acting as the strong and cold authority figure beomgyu never had, he didn’t really know how to react; which leads to him saying shit he has no business saying and acting like a damn fool. he’s learning, though! 

-[A small look into the mc’s past and how it affected her relationships with others.]

“…fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren't as forgiving…”

“…husbands lose their minds a little when they realize their wives aren't as forgiving…”

the way that both of those quotes had me in pieces. i think a big reason as to why i like the mc is bc of the relationships she’s made with the choi family and also bc of how she carries herself despite dealing with a lot of trauma. she’s a very strong and independent woman who refuses to take shit from anyone, especially men; i only briefly touch on her backstory bc i didn’t want to write anything triggering that didn’t really need to be written full-depth, but the mc doesn’t come from a loving family— at all. it’s the thing that led her to a life of crime in the first place, which is exactly why he became so protective of beomgyu; he has the one thing she’s only ever wanted, and that’s a loving parent that would go to the deepest pits of hell to rescue him. to me, adding the choi family was like granting the mc rest— which is why she was able to fit herself into their life so easily, and why she makes herself into a sister-figure that keeps beomgyu in line; just so she can prevent him from becoming another ruthless monster in the world. 

-[me going insane over characterization]

again, thank you for pointing that out eee!!! one thing i always enjoy the most about writing is characterization! i genuinely find it fascinating to see how writers bring a character to life, so i find it very important to try and make my own characters interesting and layered 😭 i think my favorite part about having so many characters in killer instinct was the fact that i could add a deeper sense of life through the way they interacted with each other and the relationships they made! who they knew, whether they liked them, the way they acted and talked around/to them, it all aids in characterization !  it’s genuinely one of my favorite things about writing, so you bringing it up means a lot to me <3

-[wow, gyu’s all grown up.]

i think that by the time beomgyu decided to join in the fightx tournament, he really matured as both a son and a friend/family to the mc. sure, he had always used his reward money to help pay the expenses of the restaurant and rent, but it was only because it felt more like an obligation as a son to him— but as he grew older and became more involved in the underground fighting scene, he began to realize just how important his family was to him, even if it was too late to outwardly express it with confidence— even more so when the restaurant began struggling a bit and the mc had to overwork herself as a result. and yeah, he may have gotten a bit blinded and carried away by the prize money from fightx, but he only wanted to give back to the two people that raised him and never gave up on him, even when he grew to be a little bitch !

-[me rambling about fighting styles 😔]

not to keep geeking out abt my characters but i had soooo much fun writing everyone’s fighting styles— it really let their personalities shine through and it made me think about what each character was like on a deeper level. i think joy is one of my favorite (and more obvious) examples, but ya, choosing to do an mma au instead of simply boxing was the greatest decision ever :))

-[my thoughts on movie adaptations lol]

thank you so much, seriously omg :(((( i’m so glad that you think i gave these cliches justice haha, i honestly wondered if jays character was a bit… much..? but i do agree with the whole deeper sentiment through reading thing, because there’s just some things that can only be conveyed through words; i feel like that’s why i’ve found some movie adaptations a bit empty or lacking— because at the end of the day, i feel like even the smallest details and choice words really help elevate a character’s thoughts and emotions, but not everything can be expressed in a movie. 

-[Ms. Choi is literally an angel idc] 

Ms choi is both the sweetest and most emphatic character in that story <3 she’s an absolute sweetheart who, despite everything she’s gone through, has learned to always look on the bright side and not let the negativity get to her— after all, it wouldn’t be very good for beomgyu to grow up with a vindictive and resentful mother, right? in the end, everything about Ms Choi goes back to her son; which is why, during the scene where the mc and gyu first meet, Ms Choi is able to get a good grasp of the mc’s character— even more so when she opens herself up to visiting her restaurant to even working at it. 

all that time of trust and growth only proved to Ms. Choi what she already knew of her (and yoongi, merely bc of the amount of time he spent glued to mc’s side while she worked) and that was the fact that deep inside, all she really longed for was the security and comfort of a good life, surrounded by loving people. and who was she to deny that from her ? <3

-[My weakness, the found family trope.]

if i had allowed myself to, i would’ve indulged in the whole found family aspect of this fic a lottt more. it’s genuinely one of my favorite tropes simply bc it destroys me every time, so the fact that you’re bringing it up is rlly satisfying to me :)) 

-[my thoughts about joy’s character]

i think joys character was also really refreshing to write; someone who, just like Ms. Choi, chose to cope with her situation and hardships by trying to remain positive and bubbly, even if the situation didn’t really call for it. and though her attitude may have made her seem insincere or insensitive, it’s just her trying to keep everyone on a lighter mood instead of letting them get too into their heads— and yeah, she’s definitely had times where people get angry and up in her face bc she seems to take everything as a joke, but that doesn’t stop her from caring in her own, unique way. 

-[thoughts on choosing idols + tyun, an absolute psycho.] 

NO BC IT WAS WAYYY TOO FUN PICKING THE IDOLS THAT WOULD FIT THE CHARACTERS 😭😭😭 like i know for a fact taeyong would be the last person in the universe to step into a shady and brutish place like that, but man does he have to appearance for it ! (along with jeno hehe) 

as for the jk thing….. no comment! ^v^

but seriously, taehyun was a little batshit insane in killer instinct 😭😭 a true instigator and fiend at heart, he barely has the power to control his mouth before he’s spitting out stuff that’ll get him in serious trouble. which,, has happened before, so let’s just say he also got into fighting as a defense mechanism! 🤗 (that is a joke. kinda.)

(ALSO THE SHARKCAT THING IS SO FUNNY BUT ACCURATE???) 

-[tyun, who did not sign up for any of this!!]

no bc i literally had so much fun when it was revealed that the mc was also a fighter 😭 it added another layer of superiority bc she now was both older and more experienced than tyun— so let’s just say the poor dude practically fell to his knees at the memory of him telling the mc she doesn’t know shit about the underground fighting scene skdbdkd 

but the tyun fr just wanted to cope in his own way, what the hell do you mean he’s going up against a tyrant's prodigy??? what the fuck!!

i also enjoyed myself a bit too much when the mc interacted with jin or yoongi, simply bc she could allow herself to let loose around them haha 

-[killer instinct and its lack of romance 😔]

i’m such a sucker for those types of typical scenes lmaooo like… can you tell i’m an avid kdrama watcher?? oooouuuh it’s showing isn’t it. 

but i seriously feel a bit bad for those who expected this story to have more romance 😭 i did think about adding more honestly, but that would’ve made the story longer simply because their development had to be slowww if i was going to be detailed. there’s so many scenes i mentally cut out simply bc i was like “ok i fr should get on with this.” 

one of them being a scene where they visit gyu and the mc gets to see the friendship between the two better— it allows her to see him in a new light and blah blah blah u get the gist huh 

-[my secret thoughts about the smut ahhhh]

making out in front of a hospital is indeed insane and if the parking lot hadn’t been empty the two most definitely wouldn’t have had any peace!! like, hello?? ppl are dying over here!

i honestly did get reminded of camera shy gyu when i wrote that line 🫣 also a little confession, i was not satisfied with the smut like. at all 😭😭😭😭 i felt as though there was so much more room to play around with their dynamic but i just didn’t?? and i blame it on the fact that i was telling myself not to get carried away for the sake of how long it already was 😭 

i actually wrote love fool bc i had finished killer instinct and was in a mood to write a more detailed smut out of pure spite 😭 love fool was neverrr supposed to see the light but i was so frustrated with myself that i decided well, fuck it!

-[ml you are everything to me, thank you </3]

ml (who, as i currently type this, is no longer ml, i guess?) i seriously can’t begin to tell you how thankful i am for this— like, i’ve never felt more grateful for the fact that you took the time to write such a detailed, long review??? you are straight out of a writer’s greatest dream, i will never stop loving the fact that you went into so much detail with this— when i first received your inbox, i started scrolling… then kept scrolling… then kept scrolling…. and when i tell you my eyes widened so bad and my jaw dropped, i had never been so happy while reading a review <3

writing is made even more enjoyable to me because of people like you, who give me the opportunity to share my thought process and talk about universes and stories i absolutely adore <3 you are seriously the best thing that’s ever happened to me on this blog, and i sincerely hope that other writers are able to experience this joy for themselves as well haha 

[raymend]

Unironically its insane that there was "if you dont wear your binder at all opportunities youre not really transmasc" discourse. like i dont even know how to describe how crazy and invasive that is to make assumptions based off of ones' willingness to put themselves through pain especially when like .. There's diminishing returns if you have a larger chest like some people do not consider it worth it especially when it IS relatively expensive AND painful

like also too how that happened literally alongside the weird ass misinformation campaign of like how you supposedly could ruin your chances to get top surgery from binding too much ... its literally so vile how absolutely toxic these communities were for kids trying to find their identity and how hopeless and dark they made it seem.

like i cant help but get mad at the adults who popularized this narrative and the isolation this kind of thinking created. its so messed up to tell that to 13 year olds figuring shit out for the first time who are already often extremely vulnerable and depressed its like. Okay so youre telling a depressed teenager that life doesnt get better and that you only deserve to transition is youre in horrific agonizing dysphoria 24/7.... like i dont know how you do that and be liek Ahaha look at me one of the good ones....

i also think too like back to the isolation piece.. when you are jumping down the throat of other trans people in a weak effort to be the most normal and valid and socially acceptable "one of the good ones" people obviously you cant empathize with people with different experiences from you... which in turn would have caused you to realize whats wrong with this kind of thinking in the first place.

idk. ive been thinking a lot about it recently because i feel like it still has its tendrils in me in terms of how i approach gender nonconformity + how like ashamed i used to feel for wanting to dress feminine sometimes lol now that im around trans people that are normal about this stuff BECAUSE they didnt absorb it im like Wow this did really bad stuff to my brain at a really tender time in my development and absolutely wrecked the friendships i had at the time with other trans people LOL

i think it's easy to look at it as an online discourse of yesteryear instead of like a genuinely harmful ideology that veryyyy much went along with other right wing/alt right rabbit hole shit. its really bad + the way that some people talk about it its clear to see that they don't see the genuine harm it caused/causes like. Guys i dont think this was a quirky phase i think you need to actually deconstruct your preconceived notions of the gender binary and abandon your obsession with optics in order to be normal about this for real

[haechannabelle]

new years post featuring me getting sentimental and also shoutouts to my mutuals (and the girl reading this) 🎊🎉🎆

i started this blog back in august or september (time is fake, i don’t know anymore), and i feel so hashtag blessed to already have so many cool and fun mutuals to tag in a post, so i am making a post ! this is that post <3 so special shoutout to the following people:

@neonarcher @bangzchan @shuatm @pinkhaech @atinystraykid @seunieverse @kimsmingyu @kdongyoung @jsuh @ambivartence @felixyongboks @appiarian @8junhao @seuiqi @chxrry-chris @uwu-fullsun @sohnuts | even if we've never interacted i appreciate all of you so much that i decided to ring in my new years by writing this post !

ok quick 2022 highlights while i'm here (cue bgm seventeen - highlight, alt iz*one highlight. two bangers, either one will do):

2022 was actually the best mental health year i've had in like, over 10 years (we still got a loooooong way to go, but like. maybe i'm actually on the way up which is cool ??). i also ummm got into kpop in late july 2022 and my life has literally changed so much since (for the better, i feel). i saw nct-127 live in october and i cried the entire time, and i uhhhh got engaged (???!?!?!!) in november which is crazy (literally cannot believe another person wants to spend their life with me,, as a person who is generally very bad at receiving love that is SO wild to me but it is also literally forcing me to accept love and i am therefore getting better at doing that ! does that make sense ? i'm not fully with it rn, this is the latest i've stayed up in awhile lmao. anyways it's been a good year. i went to new york city and my fiancé and i spent entirely too much money on kpop stuff. we went to the beach also. and successfully held down the same job for a whole calendar year (never happened before). good year.

i want to do more art next year. i used to do art every day (literally for almost my whole life up until this past summer). i've had a massive creative block for months, i feel like i can only consume media and not create it and that has really sucked. but, i did make something recently !! something i will post very soon...spoiler it is a photo edit that i got a lil more creative with and i'm reeeally happy with it ! which is why i'm scared to post it LOL but i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna be brave !!

yeah, i think i will try and be brave in the new year. be brave and make art. vague enough to work.

also, i probably listened to 1,500+ different kpop songs in just the second half of 2022, that's crazy. can you imagine how much more kpop i can listen to if i apply myself this year ??? i am literally never bored anymore, thanks to kpop. and i have a lot of fun posting on this blog, so thank you to anyone reading this for being part of it ily happiest new year to you specifically <33

[sportsblr]

Ooooh please say more on gravy!!!

Anon, thank you for being my new favorite person sndnndsnns

Okay, so I have three categories: teams I think he should go to, teams I wouldn't mind if he went to, and teams that can go fuck themselves and I don't want him touching unless it's to level a hard hit on ice

teams I think he should go to

He's already on it, but I sure would like him to stay with New Jersey. I enjoy the current lineup greatly, and I'd like for him to continue to be a Devil

Vegas bc I think the glittery gold jerseys would compliment him very well (and also Nols is there and I love him) and the org could do worse than Graves

Seattle bc. Have you seen their color scheme??? Amazingggg also I loved visiting Seattle so

Minnesota bc I love that shade of green, and I think his eyes would really pop and I just really love the Mega Bill that was passed like a month or so ago and this is my chance to talk about it lol. Anyway look into what they've done and the protections for various communities etc there! It's fucking amazing given the general American political climate

Yotes bc I really want them to have a win in something at least, given their location issues currently. Also the colors and one-offs and alts are *chef's kiss*

Avs. Now, I know he just came from there, but hear me out! He looked really, really good in their colors 😳

Canucks. I enjoy their logo and color and alt jerseys a lot. Plus I loved Vancouver when I visited. It's *shane madej voice* a beautiful, gorgeous place!

Blue Jackets. I visit Columbus a lot even tho I've moved south bc I have friends up near OSU still etc etc and anyways, student discounts on tickets plus the fact they were shite this season means that it'd be cheap to see them and I'd love that personally anndnfjsk (and so would my bank account) Oh and also their third jerseys are very hot so :3c

teams I wouldn't mind if he went to

Calgary but only if Mony is there too bc of that mf 1-2 hit combo of tall, dark, and handsome men I'm in love with. But fr tho I've been a Flames fan for a bit now, so seeing him there would be nice~

Isles. I'm pretty neutral on them, but for the most part I do enjoy their games

Flyers. I like them, and I think it would be a fun team for him to be on and I want to see him interact with Gritty so badly

Dallas. I think that he would enjoy the area, honestly, and the team as a whole seems really fun. Also a team with Tyler, Jason, and Ryan??? I'd be dead on the ground

Sabres. Colors are nice, the blue would compliment his eyes 🥰

Edmo. They're chill, the team is solid insofar as I recall. It'd be a cool decision for him. Maybe Sol would enjoy it too, or at least enjoy me going crazy going stupid etc etc lol

Canes. The fast-paced play i think would be to his strength in the same way that the Devs are. But I'm still mad at them for kicking the Devs out 😡

Panthers. Gives Sol something to talk about that isn't Ratthew (affectionate) but also their playoff run was very sick and I think he'd add to their team rather than detract

Preds. Nashville is like 3 hours away from me so. Selfishness in location for this one 💅

Pens. I don't hate them, I don't love them. But bc of that stupid stanley cup "kiss me" commercial with Sidney being shown when the Pens won and that snippet of the autobiography with his agent or w/e I'm getting drawn back into the fold I thought I escaped several years ago lmao

Sharks. Fun colors, on the coast, lots of nice alternate jerseys/one-off designs (Chris Chow, the hold you still have on me after all these years 😔😔😔)

Blues. Nice logo, I really don't know a lot about them though.

Jets. Idk I just think they're neat :D

teams that can go fuck themselves and I don't want him touching unless it's to level a hard hit on ice

Chicago

Rangers, bc they used to be cool and fun and I liked them but then that rat bastard (not mtkachuk) got traded over so constitutionally and legally I can no longer be a Rangers fan until that rat bastard leaves

Ducks. I really don't have any strong feelings for them, but I just idk. I don't like them. Not a fan.

Kings. I don't like their vibes or their fans all that much. I really should've done a fourth category of "eh, they're whatever i guess", but we're here now and so I'm sticking with it.

Bruins. I like them, like they're entertaining, but I would rather him be an opponent to them for my own entertainment purposes.

Habs. Another "I just don't like their vibes" situation

Sens. This is a "I keep forgetting they exist whoopsie" thing

Bolts. They beat the blue jackets a few years ago to get the Cup and I'm still mad about it

Leafs. Soz I'm a leafs anti (‘ー‘)/~~

Caps. I don't vibe. I'm an anti. And Burky is gone so I have no reason to pay attention to them anymore

[localsurburbangoth]

11/22/24

Thanksgiving break starts next week. Most people don't have classes. Me however, I have a test on Monday and I leave on Wednesday I have to stay. I don't mind since I'm not really looking forward to going home. I just like the food and i miss baking. I have a calculus test on Monday. I'm really nervous because I need to do well on it or I'll fail the class. Any tips for calculus would be apricated. I have a big computer science project due on December first that I haven't started. I just hate how long they take and I never know where to start. My body is stuck in paralysis. Do I study for my test or start this project? I really need to do both.

The friend situation is the same. When I go home next week i will have Friendsgiving with my only friends back home. I cant wait! We are getting Korean BBQ.

I've never enjoyed the holidays. Its loud, bright, and overstimulating. I normally am forced to babysit my cousin and grandma. I like to just stay in the kitchen and bake/cook with my mom. Its loud but its simple. I get told what to do and I do it. I don't have to sit at the table all awkward while my extended family only talks to my older sisters.

The radio station is going really well. We went bowling and I had my show on Tuesday. I played another goth set and they enjoyed it. I think I have my show again this upcoming Tuesday? I'm not really sure, Ill have to ask.

Maybe this is just me, but I cant watch shows, movies, or youtubers I like while working. I made the mistake of rewatching Voltron before it gets taken off Netflix while doing my work. I didn't get anything done lol. I'm gonna miss that show. It got me on tumblr when i was younger. I reblog a lot of it on my alt account @chubbyduumpling.

Despite being upstate, my campus hasnt gotten snow, but back home has. It's been raining like crazy. I guess if it snowed I'd be begging for rain instead.

Tonight I plan on doing my CS homework and maybe starting the project. I need to study for calculus!

[moonlightdoesgenshin]

You wanna read about the history of Kazuha on my account?

No?

Too bad.

I didn't get Kazuha in 2.8 for Reasons(mainly that I had him on an alt acc), so I had to wait until 3.7. It was not fun not having him in the time in between. The amount of times I got a "No Kazuha?" in response to asking for advice was crazy lol

So, I tried to save for him for a while, like I started after Alhaitham I think? Might be wrong though it's been a while since then

I had a lot of slip-ups in-between, like I know I got Baizhu by accident at like 34 pity(I love him though no regrets) and purposefully got Nahida in 3.6 and Miko at 40-something pity(I hated her back then but I also love her now) during the first half of 3.7. I thought my chances of Kazuha were doomed.

So- weird thing about me, I cannot handle my pity not being a multiple of 10(or 0, 0 is also fine). I do not know why so don't ask lmao. So, after I got Miko, I was doing singles to get back to 10 to calm my stupid brain, and at 9 pity I got a Qiqi. This incident is actually the reason I still love her to this day, because to me in that moment, she saved me.

So, as Kazuha's banner drew closer, I saved up money and bought a $100 genisis pack so I could guarantee him on release(yes I spend money on this game, but I haven't bought anything over $10 for the past 6 months or so).

I got him at literally 1 pity. I did the first 10 pull, it was gold, and he was the very first one. This is still by far the luckiest I have ever been in this game.

I used the rest of my pulls on the weapon banner, and got a LoFI at 29 pity(which I was very happy about because I love Alhaitham) and had 40 pity towards the next 5 star.

I grinded out the pulls I could, and got another LoFI at 50ish pity. I had maxed fate points.

I wasn't originally going to push for FS, but a couple days before the banner ended the sunk cost fallacy got to me and I dropped another $100 on it and got it.(I have no regrets, but also don't do what I did lmao)

From there on, the Kazuha Year began. For ~a year after I got Kazuha and FS, I solely strongboxed VV for a year, trying to make him the best he could possibly be. I got the final piece for the first completed build on 7/15/24, and it looked like this at the time

1,013 em and 190 er. It was basically perfect.

I gave him his first crown, his burst, on 7/22/24, but I don't have a screenshot of that.

If I had made this post pre-5.0, that would be it. But 5.0 is here.

First, I hit soft pity(78) on 9/3/24 and won my first 50/50 since Hu Tao in 4.1 and got c1.

Then, I finally got enough sanctifying elixirs, and used them on a new circlet, making this his final build.

At this point in my account, c2 Kazuha is basically just an 8% boost to his elemental damage buff, so I wasn't going to really try to get it, but I do like Kachina as a character so I decided to keep going.

3 days later, on 9/6/24, I was on 10 pity, and did my dailies and ended up with 9 pulls. I decided to wander around Natlan a bit to try and get the final one to do a 10 pull.

I finished a series of puzzles, had enough pulls, and pressed the button. The wish screen lagged slightly, and even though that happens often on my tablet, I knew. That lag was different.

The wish went gold, and after a couple seconds worth of anxiety, I was graced with my very own c2 Kazuha

And 2 days later, I had gathered the weekly boss drops, and farmed the Liyue talent domain, and I gave my favorite character the last two crowns he has long deserved.

Now he looks like this, which until I inevitably give in and go back to VV, he will stay like this.

I'm so proud of how far I've come with him<3

[fakeaquarian]

blah

oof i haven't made an actual post on here in ages!!!! but i just wanted to vent about something because i dont feel like writing in down in my journal yet. ugh. yesterday, i went up to nyc to the glaad awards to see the cast and crew of rwrb and i saw everyone who showed up (casey, matthew, rachel, aneesh, taylor, and uma) but taylor didn't sign anything for anyone which is like so out of the ordinary for him. so then people were like 'oh he's running late' which i was like ok because he's often late to things lol but then later on we realized his stalker was there. like, the girl that stalked him to a concert and literally halfway across the globe to china. and she apparently was at the screening on thursday night as well so she literally flew from cali to see him again in 48 hrs. she hasn't done anything so like they probably can't like file a restraining order or whatever, but she is so creepy and she knows she's being creepy and doesn't care. she even went inside the hotel last night where they had the awards and was waiting by the elevators for him to come out!!! likee she's crazy!! and the staff knew about it but they were like there's not really anything they can do.

so taylor went in without signing anything or stopping, and then he apparently left out of some alt exit so no one saw him leave. i was on the way back from my hotel back to the hilton (where it was being held) and my moots was like 'yeah staff just told us he left' so then i was like to my lyft driver 'sorry i gotta edit this and just go back' and when i tell you i go back in my room and BAWLED rlrgjweklgjwlkgjk like i dont think i've ugly cried like that since zayn left one direction lejlkejglekgjkl like i had this whoooole plan like i made him two bracelets ( i did give aneesh the bracelet i made her and she was so happy!) and i was gonna give him this print of my moots art and i wrote on the back of it this whole thing which yeah embarrassing whatever idgaf and i was gonna get my book signed and it was gonna be amazing!! it was not though! none of that happened! i couldn't even see his face fully like he got out the car and went to hug some guy and then they like ushered him in so quickly.

i made uma a bracelet too and i didn't get to give it to her either. :( she stopped by a few people to sign books but she was VERY late like i think the show was about to start when she came.

i'm just annoyed tbh...like when will i have this chance again idk. it was very nice to meet cmq and matthew and aneesh and rachel though because i didn't even know anyone but aneesh, tzp, and uma were coming. so they all signed my book and im very thankful for that. there's just like no other event happening anytime soon so i dont really know when i'll ever have the chance again. sigh. fuck that stalker bitch for ruining for everyone.