#really really hope this isnt a bad take
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So I've seen it generally accepted that Nonoy in the game is 14/15. I know this is because Nonoy's birthday records stop at 14, but I disagree!
Nonoy is the intern Dream Warehouse Keeper, a job she takes very seriously and is clearly trusted with. During the wish festival, you can see her going as far as the Swan Gazebo to collect wishes for the Warehouse, and from the main quest where we meet her we know that she's the one responsible for repairing and maintaining the Great Crane
(we also know she's adept at tinkering with machines, but thats not evidence to the point im making here)
All of this, to me, shows that she's probably closer to Nikki's age. I don't know what the school system is like in Florawish/Wishfield, but I imagine Nonoy's through school and fully into the workforce now. Same as Marques Jr, which would put both of them at 18/19, same with Nikki (who is/had graduated at the start of the story)
The birthday records, I never felt like they showed how old she was so much as showed her connection to her mother. Every single one of them mentions her mom, and the second one (her 6th birthday) mentions that her mom had tried to bake a cake with disastrous consequences. Her last entry (14) Nonoy writes that her mom's cake was a huge success. To me, that means that 14 is the last entry is a conclusion to the set up of the cake. I understand this saying that Nonoy is 14/15, but I'm just not 100% on it.
ofc its been a while since I've done the parts of the main quest that heavily involved Nonoy, so if there's something I'm missing I would love to know lmao
#ngl im making this point for several biased reasons#i identify a lot with nonoy and her being 14 is just weird to me#also i ship her with nikki and felt they had a lot of chemistry#and the 14/19 age gap is just not it ngl#idk i would love to hear other peoples thoughts#really really hope this isnt a bad take#infinity nikki#nonoy infinity nikki
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saw a bit of the one piece fan letter (?) animation thingy and god that style, the way it was animated and the different perspective (it was the bit with the marine guy ar marineford, possibly not even the full part) felt so .. different and refreshing, and i didnt even watch it with the sound
one piece has long lost me, it was my fandom before i got into zelda but around whole cake island i stopped reading/watching and with the reveal about luffys fruit it was the last nail in the coffin for me- still that animation is somethign else ....... almost makes me sad bc it looked so much more interesting than the actual thing is (to me)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#idk what that animation even is#bc its clearly professionally made but also a fan letter?#i almost miss one piece#but dont actually#its yet another one of those things that were my everything for years and years#until it started to turn into things i liked less and less until i was completely alienated from it#the same happened with my previous fandom before even that (transformers prime)#and im afraid its happening wiht zelda now too#even though at least with this one i got a more solid take on the lore and a big project to hold onto#still.... i dont want to lose zelda the same way#but its kidna already happening#i turned into a super lore guy with botw#and now i am just so .. indifferent to it#if totk and eow are anything to go by#.. even though eow isnt as bad as totk in any way i just ... dont care about the lore#and its kinda scary ......... i am so not interested in it ... idk i dont think it can all be bc of its format and style that isnt my thing#of course i am HOPING to like another zelda game ... but i really cant imagine they will make anything better again
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#controversial slightly radical political take incoming#im so sorry but i cant stand the 'vote blue no matter who' crowd like yall are the reason why we are in this mess in the first place#pushing unpopular centrist genocide supporting candidates and then acting shocked that they lose and blaming liberals not voting-#when republicans would NEVER push a candidate as far left as biden and hillary are right and thats why they keep winning#and acting like committing genocide being a red line to not vote for someone is a bad thing be so fucking serious#they would vote for someone who supported the holocaust in the 40s as long as they called themselves a democrat while doing it#the fucking tactic of vote for our guy because the other guy is ~worse~ instead of giving people something to actually care about#ISNT WORKING OUT SO WELL HUH who would have thought#genuinely that is why bernie made it so far in 2016. because he made people hope that things could even start to change.#and unfortunately trump also did that for his base. and even more unfortunately. the dnc saw that and stomped it out. and then THEY lost.#fear mongering fascism to people watching protesters against genocide getting beaten by cops under the administration youre pushing#isn't exactly that convincing. sorry.#like yeah. we need the majority in the house and senate for sure. but president wise? you cant convince me there is a 'less' evil option#like how dare you even insinuate that after all that has been done in these past nine months tbh#i think its the fucking sugar coating that really pisses me off more than anything#like. you do not have to make biden out to be a good man in any way just to make trump seem like a bad one. thats already established.#youre voting for evil. either way. just accept it. there is no 'less'. trying to absolve yourself from that is what pisses me off.#and 'voting blue no matter who' is what got us all here in the first place. convincing ourselves that here is a less evil in every situatio#sorry. im done now. i just hate seeing all those guilt tripping 'well now you HAVE to vote' posts on my timeline.#politics
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My roommate and I just had this two hour long convo about how everyone else makes it look easy and how we just keep falling behind and are killing ourselves just to catch up and now I feel so much better because I thought I was the only one. I have nothing to say about it I just thought y'all should know.
#madi posting#she said when you're stressed you brain sends out the same neurons it would if you're in pain#which makes sense why i feel like I'm dying all of the time#but all our friends make it look so easy#idk it just makes me want to die like this really isnt easy for me at all#and then i feel bad about not being able to do all the extra stuff they do#because i can barely do what's required of me#ugh sorry for venting on the main it'll probably happen again#i guess the thesis of the blog is that no matter how badly you fail as long as you don't abandon yourself then there's still hope#as long as i don't abandon myself i can succeed#or reach something close idk#what does success even look like??#if being a child was just taking it and taking it and taking it#being an adult is just like getting up getting up and getting up
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"isnt the new magu song a lolibait song" god u people dont have brains do u.
#the answer is no#unless IF AND ONLY IF u EXCLUSIVELY think yuki HAS to be her ''canon'' age#which its shown IN THE VIDEO shes not being considered as such#but u people also get fucking weird about high schoolers too despite the rate at which teens irl do r18 things together#anyway thats an instrument not a person hope that helps#u people would HATE himitsu no houkago. songs that i frequented when i was like 14 knowing very well what it means#please stop having knee jerk reactions to things bc u dont want to be associated with 'the wrong things'#and take some time to actually think about it & whether people are over reacting or not#because AGAIN its more important to understand why something is bad (for real)#than to act out of fear and try to never do anything bad ever#if u want to be mad at magu be mad over them liking the stupid wizard franchise bc this really isnt what ur saying it is#'but yukis vp was a child when her vb was recorded' yes. thats still Just An Instrument right now however#maybe its a good thing. weed out all the weak people who cant use their brains.#make it safer for me to try & make eng magu fan friends#anyway yes ik what the songs saying. no its not fucking lolibait.
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Just a little follow up on that last post but just in general I think one of the reasons I've really stopped caring for railing on the Playtime devs... Is just because it feels like so much of it is just speculative nonsense trying to make every single thing they do secretly evil or lazy or bad. Why isn't it enough to discuss the Actual bad things they did [the fact they used to run a shady content farm before doing game work, the fact they tried to sell lore to their fans via NFTs, etc] it's hard for me to engage with content that rightfully critiques that bc oftentimes they then spiral into speculative 'so now we have to tell you why this moment where an employee blinks in the game is code for the devs secretly stole all their code from Bendy and kill babies as a hobby'.
Which makes me turn off my brain and not want to take any other points they make seriously, bc like I said if you lie to me to try and convince me of your point, I'm not gonna take anything else you say seriously bc I won't know if it's true or just something you made up anymore.
It honestly feels like everyone just keeps making shit up bc Poppy Playtime used to be the internet punching bag but now that the NFTs thing isn't the hottest topic to discuss about it anymore we all just need a reason to make fun of it and the people who like it. Which just kinda feels like unfair cringe culture, because if our real problem is the devs being greedy and shady why isn't the same effort put into roasting similar devs like the Bendy team? We can't suddenly say 'well actually being a bit greedy isn't That bad' when it's a team we like instead of one we all decided is 'cringe n bad'.
#ramblez#I hope all this makes sense Im not saying u cant dislike the devs of any of these games#just that the double standards on display really drive me nuts#sure playtime co tried to sell nfts but kindly beast laid off almost all of its employees and tried to sell its fans at full price a game#made by two people in three weeks last minute#if being greedy and lazy is really as bad as the internet says it is why arent the bendy devs the internets punching bag too#you cant have that sort of obvious double standard and then still expect me to think you take that topic seriously#bc when you only bring it up in relation to devs you clearly have a bias against and dont bring it up against devs ur bias towards#its clear that the greediness isnt actually the problem you care abt at least thats how it reads to me#anyways both of these devs suck but I dont think that means everyone at playtime co is secretly evil and in on it#a lot of effort is clearly on display in the writing animation coding etc and we shouldnt pretend its all awful just bc the ceos suck#same way I only level a lot of my problems with bendy towards mike n mood and not every single person who works on the games#bc clearly someone at JDS and playtime co cares a lot about what theyre making and thats really nice to see#its just that the ceos keep fucking up the product esp when it comes to Bendy-
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may all irony poisoned people have something serious happen to them that makes them have to be serious for once in their life and then make them realize how cringe and unhelpful and even detrimental to theirs and others lives their irony poisoning was and ditch it.
#amen#no i dont care about wishing something serious on you bc how serious that thing is is gauged by how deeply unserious you are#its gonna take something supa serious to make someone so painfully apathetic to give a fuck so............#buckle up bitch!#lets hope your apathy isnt so deep that it needs to be something really bad !
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low-coherency rambling in the tags
#the thing about IPL is that‚ at least as far as i see it‚ they've essentially been propagating and encouraging an auteur myth regarding him#which is nothing new or unique to them; i think that people (audiences) naturally want to ascribe some Great Man Theory to everything#it's hard to conceptualize the fact that almost anything that comes from a ''studio'' will be the product of collaboration#people naturally want to personify things and attach a human face to what they like#and studios (whether game or whatever else) will indulge this by generally seeming to pick one or maybe two people (often men)#to essentially be the main ''face'' or ''spokesperson'' for the product. it's branding.#and it has an effect even if people obviously are aware that someone isnt the ONLY person who's hands touch a work#i see it in the way people take this very personal parasocial tone in how they talk about the creators they like#which is just a subset of the problem of parasociality in general but in this case i mean how they basically put these people on a pedestal#because they seem them as singularly responsible for creating Thing They Liked because of the aforementioned spokesmanship#i've seen it in how people talk about (and talk to) j sawyer and chris avellone as if they're singularly responsible for fallout#anthony burch and borderlands 2. christian linke and arcane#robert kurvitz and disco elysium (but to be very clear im not saying that makes cutting him out of his own intellectual property acceptable#fucking i don't know.... jeff kaplan and overwatch lmao#and very much with dybowski and pathologic. like the kind of memes i saw people make about him and the personal way they'd refer to him#BUT that pretty much all stopped after 2021 or so at least in the fandom spaces i saw#because i suppose people realized that whether those rumors and allegations were true or not that they did not really know this person#no matter how much they liked ''his'' game. and that he might not be a good person at all.#which is good. i think people should take that kind of ambivalence by default instead of getting parasocially attached to anyone#especially to one lead figure out of an entire studio#and then winding up distraught and disappointed when it turns out their fave did something bad#like be distraught for victims sure. but don't tell yourself you understand this person because their fiction spoke to you#and you won't wind up feeling personally betrayed.#i'm rambling big time but basically i hope people start taking this view more#because among other things. putting these people on pedestals and singling them out as auteurs gives them social power#which allows some of them to engage in the awful behavior that leaves fans feeling betrayed in the first place#and i hope that studios and creators stop leaning into it too#if it really is true that dybowski is barely involved with the IP anymore then IPL should say that.#don't prop him up as the face just because he's the one everyone knows#maybe they think it'll get backlash if anyone but him is said to be writing the game because of how much they leaned into him as the auteur
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I'm actually having a great day today despite oversleeping a lil' but my fucking. Art motivation is back and I'm really happy about that. That said it's really funny how like. The last few days of October Happened and then I was kinda just in the torture labyrinth until now. My brief moment of sanity before either the mental exhaustion reclaims me or I have another mental illness moment.
#ramblings#i was like `oh its a matter of time until i slip its only a matter of time-` and im here now like i blinked and its like#ah yeah we're in the eye of the storm. sick. sorry to everyone around me LOL#last year the end of december was kinda really shit im hoping i get a break this year tho. since i kinda had. an entire shitass november#already. idk NJKDJSFNKKFGJ i feel like its especially bad since i have new people around and im still acclimating to.#knowing that these are people who will be in my life for the foreseeable future and wont fade from me the second our interests shift#weird! anyways#this isnt even a ventpost im chilling im just rambling. that clip of planton going through a wormhole or whatever and he#pauses to take a sip of soda and hes all chill thats how i feel rn. when we get closer to my birthday ill start to level out again i think
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something distinctly sad & frustrating internally about watching someone go through something chronically awful & similar on the face of it to your own horrors & wanting to reach out and talk to them about it to offer support & knowing that by nature of the similarity that is almost definitely the last thing they want/need & so you have to sort of watch from afar and psychically beam your words at them and hope it clicks soon
#the paradox of never wanting to be a burden. of becoming someone that doesnt annoy anyone#is that you feel guilt for talking about the pain with others#and so. you falsely but understandably think isolation will be the perfect solution#''if i isolate then im suffering but if no one hears about it no one cares and no one is bothered so i win''#is a fundamentally cruel take. is the thing. and it is so hard to accept that because of the guilt and the feeling that there is no winning#but the thing is when you isolate and suffer people are now both worried about you and feel discarded. feel hopeless. etc.#and i dont think you should do everything for others. and i think when you are making choices for others it is worth being#realistic about what you are deciding for them and knowing when it is irrational#bc the thing is people do care and that does feel uncomfortable#and you do feel guilty for people being ''bothered'' by your suffering#and i understand the instinct to say no! the point of me isolating is so you dont feel bad about me! stop caring!#thinking this is the righteous thing to say to someone when really it is just something that hurts to hear#i'm still learning it too. i'm not perfect at it. i'm chronically suicidal and always going back and forth with myself about all the horrors#two things:#1) guilt is not absolute as an indicator of rightness. learn to recognize when it is lying to you.#2) the best way to unburden yourself to others is to not kill yourself. to find hope or curiousity or whatever will keep you alive and#grab it fiercely with both hands. to start to be kind to yourself when it's hard and to at least recognize the goodness of others#instead of cruelly dismissing them. i don't think therapy is the only answer or even the best answer. i think too much is too expensive#to suggest anything that isnt something you can do on your own#and it is fucking hard and feels impossible and you'll have a lot of bad moments with it but like. i know you can get to a place where#you're not cured but you're not cruel anymore. and it gets easier from there#ugh none of this will ever get to that guy but i just really wish him the best and ill respect his wishes and not think abt it anymore#but just for the record that does hurt bc i care about people and it sucks when im not allowed to but thats his perogative and#he is his own person and i just really hope things look up for him soon bc hes cool and has nice art
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orv adaption announcements …………..
#good goddddddd im gonna be Such a hater about them i can feel it in my bones o(~<#i could handle a shitty live action bc im sure thats what han sooyoung would have wanted but . a Shitty Animated Show ?#i dont think my heart could take it …..#but i really really hope that wont b the case bc they can do some great stuff with it#IVE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT !!!! IMAGINE THE SOUNDTRACK ………. YOU COULD GO CRAZY WITH LEITMOTIFS… ..#imo orv isnt a story that needs visuals but it could work so well with audio ……….#translating the image of bleeding stories into whispers oughhghhgh#i wonder how adaptions could approach the ambiguity between lines spoken by kim dokja and the 4th wall ……….#it’s something that’s pretty hard to convey with audio so maybe they’ll keep it silent in the audiovisual adaptions#maybe with keyboard sounds …….. oooh thatd be so cool#but i feel like the voice the reader gives the 4th wall adds another layer to it does that make sense#pretty tricky to figure out how to translate the 4th wall outside of a medium with just text#solar-talks#god i hope they do something interesting with the starstream filter on dokja bc ill b honest i didnt like how when the webtoon got to#jihye’s scene in dark castle they just smacked sparkles on him and left it at that#ok i reread it in case i got it wrong but unfortunately . yeah . those arent eyebags you gotta make him look NORMALLER fuck offff !!!!!!!!!#i know they would never do this but it would be so fucking sick if they just moved around the features of kdj’s face ever so slightly to#give him some uncanny valley vibes#i want it so bad for the live action but i know they dont see my vision orz#they dont have to end up being Exactly how i’d imagine them im just begging the adaptions to make the best use of a different medium#put some Thought into it even ..
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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it here hfkshfks
So when I was tuning the violins today. Well it was the first time I'd done anything with them in a while. And tbh I should've loosened the strings before leaving them for so long, but I hadn't thought of it.
So I tuned up my main violin. It's always been easy to tune & keeps in tune near perfectly when it's played regularly. So it went by quickly, except... when I'm tuning, I like to check the harmonic notes when cross-checking strings, and for whatever reason, the G string's harmonic was like half a note flat. The string itself was in tune tho, which was weird. So I went to adjust the bridge a little bit, just in case that might help, and then the G string fucking SNAPPED!!!
RIP lmao
Good for me tho I've always kept spares in my case. I had 2 of each string, so I just went and put in the new one. First time stringing a violin in years and years, but it went perfectly fine!!
Back and better than ever!
Then I went to tune my electric violin, and it took me literally 10 minutes bc the pegs DID NOT want to turn. I had to literally grab a blanket to pad my fingers as I put my whole self into that shit. It hurt !!!!! But I got it eventually lol. My main violin is definitely the best one for playing out of the bunch.
#speculation nation#i played my electric violin more than i ever have today.#didnt actually play my main violin like i first intended. bc it was getting late and i felt. bad.#so i played the electric violin. it worked! but i find myself missing my darling#i should try to practice at least a few more times before next semester. to make sure im prepared for returning to orchestra#(which isnt THAT an exciting prospect. take THAT my reoccurring dreams born from orchestra longing)#i actually picked it back up surprisingly well. outside of the um. stiff wrist and finger pains.#my wrist will loosen back up in time. thats the main reason i want to practice some more b4 next semester.#that plus my finger endurance. i still have pretty great dexterity. like it just felt really natural.#but my fingers got tired quicker than they used to and the SKIN. my CALLOUSES. are NOT THERE.#gonna wait until my fingers r recovered before i try taking my violin out again tho#also my wrist is a lil sore. i was demanding a lot from it today too.#not as flexible as it is when im actively playing but i actually managed to overcome it fine.#did my shifting and whatever. vibrato. whatever. really the worst part of the wrist stiffness is the finger positioning.#instead of being straight down on the strings my fingers had a bit of a turn to them#so the sides of the tips are sore now. owie. but oh well i made it work.#certainly wasnt my best playing but i did the best i could considering the circumstances.#in retrospect picking violin back up after Years and practicing and (re)learning a whole song to audition that SAME DAY is kind of insane.#whyd i do this to myself. oh yeah cause im stupid. oh well at least im following my heart.#i hope i hear back from the orchestra professor before too long. now that ive done the rehearsal im like. oughhh. yknow?#we will hope that friday night was good enough to count as 'by the end of the week'. we will hope.
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why..... am i still awake......... coughs like i dieying
#thistle.txt#i mean my cough has gotten better. winning. somewhat. but i have been up the past 28? hours? which isnt ideal?#i dont know i kinda dont know numbers right now maybe its been longer.. i dont know......#just been very antsy due to thinking about the characters too hard for too long. i dont know why it odes that to me.#i have to think about NOVEL INTERESTING THINGS to survive. & well there havent been many interesting things to think about#kinda just like mold & spores figuratively...#caught a glimpse of whats going on at sment & closed my eyes. ahh... horrible horrible. not good stuff over there. not good.#oh my god. dpr in one month. shaky breath. they better not put any fucking lame songs on the setlist!!!!!!!!!!#fuckk i think rome did mood at that one concert last year i hope he does it again#tried to think of a song i dont want him to put on the setlist & couldnt find one. really? surely theres one#i thought there was a song on miito i didnt like as much....? hm. oh well more good music for me#maybe it was avalon but like so long as it doesnt take the spot of a song i REALLY like im fine w avalon. its not bad#& its hard to be mad at music once im seeing it live#now live........... well alli ahve to say is he should release more music some time. maybe. think about it.#not to be ungrateful or anything.#fuck my voice is like SHOT shot i forgot i cant speak at any kind of high pitch rn..... well i do like the deeper voice lip bite emoji..#i have no reason to talk out loud though good night
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I'm not gonna be responding to these anymore, I don't want to have to think about this rn, but I'm keeping the posts up
#phandom#dp#this isnt me backing down im just taking a sick day and Do Not need this rn#actually disgusting that this many people in our community is just. openly okay with this#and theyre turning it on me. as if im the one glorifying it wtf#not allowing asks on main#i really dont want to associate with this fandom anymore. any hope i had for it not being that bad is lost on me#and i hate drama and negativity and i feel like im fsrming that by responding to so many of these#i deleted a lot of other responses i was too tiref to deal with but still#might just block phandom tags altogether. i just dont know atp#ive had literally only two sane people respond out of the dozen unhinged messages#and that just doesnt feel good at all honesty. like what happened#sorry if this is overdramatic in anyway. i originally just dropped a post i thought no one would see#cause viewing this content after having blocked tags was disturbing to me#and a lot of people saw it. and a majority of those people were very outwardly okay w this#i dont gaf if its fiction. if you fantasize about that sort of thing youre disgusting and i wsnt nothing to do with you. end of story#tw pompuspep#tw
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rediscovering I have empathy? craaaazyyyyy
#beanie babbles#okay so this is gonna be a vent post but all in the yags#tw pet death#tw death#i hope dont think this is ablest language but its not precise language#Here we go#I never really doubted I have a capacity for empathy. It can be kind of hit or miss- amd even when I dont understand I try to be compassion#-ate. all that good stuff blah blah#Whats a lot more accurate to say is I dont really feel bad for dead people#I'll feel bad at the idea of somone dying maybe. I dont want living people to suffer and die just because.#I get upset when my friends are suicidal or when somone goes out and kills other people or even when a fictional charecter dies sometimes#but the mourning isnt about their death. it sucks that i cant hang out with them any more or that they cant experiance shit any more#but im not crying at a casket#But I did cry when I found my housemates pet bird limp on the floor of the cage today- the other one not seeming to even realize#This is the second time. The first one the birds were closer and the loving one wouldnt stop making noise tryong to get our attention#this one didnt mind as much- was just hungry and looking for some more feed. The feeders were empty and water gross#I stay with the birds every day and make sure they get excerize and enrichment because my housemate cant do that part#but i dont check the nessicities#so that was a shock. I refilled the food compartment after taking the dead bird out and putting them in a box#I dont think thats why they died. These birds have their wongs clipped before purchase and cant flay very well at all#But this bird practiced and was able to get a lot of height and distance as feathers grew back. But didnt know how to stop#Constantly crashing into floors and walls. Thats the main culprit I think#Its just weird that I cry easier over birds and fictional charecters and material things than my family. I feel guilty about it#Not that guilty i got all that angst out in 2020#vent post#not really actually this turned into an explination of events more#anyway#the actual post had nothing to do w9th anything bru
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Ya know what inktober or cringetober, what have you, I'll be drawing all these Isaac au shitpost nonsense baby. I FEEL ALIVE. WITNESS MY CRINGE OR LOOK AWAY IN DISGUST. IM LIVING! WRAAGGHHH
#i have not been able to draw this much in years dude#i went thru a whole sketchbook in just two weeks its freaking epic#my brain juices my hand juices theyre coming to life#too bad my fmla will end in november. god i wish i was paid to draw nonsense like this#and trust me you do not need to know or play isaac to know what the heck is going on#im the master of not knowing whats going on and the master of catfishing. i dont know anything and you shouldnt either#its all about wink wink nudge nudge but i take full creative liberties. im taking the reins and going into maximum overdrive#and i hope my new followers enjoy what im spitting. please take a gander at the other things i draw because i have bursts of hyperfixations#i just want to be free to draw what i want ya know. i always feel held back because it doesnt go toward with improvement or making money#but i really think i am improving right now by drawing all this stuff my brain is spitting. my hand tryna keep up with my thought patterns#its nice. and my hand isnt cramping. why? cause i keep taking breaks. me taking breaks yet still drawing this much#youll know you improve if can get thoughts and sketches down fast and comprehensible when you go to clean it up#im rambling but i jsut want you to know that i am happy. even if no one really pays attention to what ive beeb doing. be it this or my ocs#im having fun. genuine fun. i am so tired so goodnight. i lov e you guys
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