#really rambling here good lord

[unknownarmageddon]

It Will Come Back by Hozier reminds me so much. of that one au, with thieving sneaky Killer busting into and stealing from fancy people at Rich Himbo Cross’s fancy people party

like. hell yeah

the idea ive come up with in my head is that killer is like, a street-living fella who swiped some fancy-passing clothes from a clothesline on an upperclass house’s balcony and periodically goes around taking from places that are rich and panhandling and shit and like

i keep picturing cross dressing in some lower class style clothes and going out with killer on dates in the Fun Parts of Town, where rich folk like him can’t go because they will get jumped and killed or just get tricked or something because they don’t know the culture in these streets well enough and like cross is like.

“so is there any particularly cool spots?”

and killer goes to be like, “oh well there’s a fight club in the market warehouse”

and cross is like “no, no, i mean like.” he points at the trees that can be seen over the houses and stuff and he’s like “in there?”

and killer takes him to a big water hole, and he’s like “ight rich boy, you gotta be careful, the tree rootsstick up from the ground-“

and cross, already really fucking giddy, has thrown his shirt off and he’s sprinting past and just leaping into the water and killer is like, taken aback for a moment and then cross comes back up and holds up a rock he hit his head on at the bottom of the lake thing and he’s got a big goofy grin and he’s like “A ROCK :D!!!!”

and then he spits out some mud and idk killer would lowkey be like, amused at it? cuz he had this idea that cross was a rich dude who’d spent his life in safety or something and never really had a taste of nature, so he thought cross would be hesitant at best, so to him, cross looks really out of place

and cross is like, bored of waiting, so he like, ducks into the water and scoops up the mushy swampy mud and hurls it at killer’s face and anyways im loving the idea of them goofing off in critter infested waters (cross totally gets snipped by a small mollusk or crustacean)

also, they’d totally use the vines that stretch around to swing into the water and climb them and shit

and then the rock cross found ends up like, being one of his decorations at his fancy house

so like imagine you go in a nice nice house, marble floors, chandeliers etc, and then there’s just an ugly ass rock with moss on it and it smells of dirt and it’s like, one of cross’s prized possessions and no one but him and killer understand why and i just love the idea lmfao

also, alternatively, cross has to go to some meeting and he shows up and one of the fellow rich dudes is like. “sir. is that. is that mud.” and there’s a smear on his forehead and he’s like “…it’s uhm. a birthmark.”

anyways ive been doing much think (literally made this all up as i went) on this au

OHHHH FUCKING ABSOLUTELY DUDE I LOVE THAT SO MUCH WAIT

Godddd absolutely. Absolutely

Augh I love that AU I really should write more for it

ALSO ALSO. about the lyrics and song and all that. YEAH. IT IS ITS SO THAT AU very real so true

[fumifooms]

Dungeon lord Chilchuck

What would his wish as a dungeon lord be? What would he be like? Headcanons & speculation post for fun. But I’ll start with analytic lead up because that’s always fun for me, though feel free to skip and skim.

When it comes to what Chilchuck’s dungeon lord desires could/would be like we have mainly 3 hints: His nightmare, his succubus and what the winged lion says to him.

Why: — From what we see nightmares are based on the person’s worst fears and insecurities, both Laios’ and Marcille’s nightmare were closely tied to their dungeon lord wishes (Laios’ dream monster being summoned to crush the ghosts of relationships that represented the pressure to fit in and belong, Marcille seeking control over death and aging through magic to avoid loss), the fuel behind their desire/goal if you will. Fear and deep-seated desires are seemingly closely tied, something also supported by Thistle and Mithrun’s reigns as dungeon lords (Thistle proving his worth through fulfilling his given duty + protecting his loved ones, being listened to instead of having to listen, Mithrun escaping rigid two-faced elven society and living in a wonderland where he has no enemies and he’s loved, free from everyone he knew yet propped up by the person symbolizing his brother being chosen over him, the bastard child).

— I’ve talked about the significance I assign to the succubi often by now, but rundown: What we see of each character is all very telling if you care to listen, it shows not only someone’s "ideal form" but what they want from it. Izutsumi’s is familial, offering a hug and comfort, Marcille’s is romantic with a character she knows and loves, offering a kiss on a hand and a connection regardless of how distant it actually is, and Laios’ is platonic, arguable at first but then Laios’ fear of judgement is placated and he is offered the picture perfect friend group that accepts his interest (if you want my full look at Laios’ succubus go here). They take on the most alluring form, most ideal person of their victim, even uncovering deep subconscious desires, so precisely and effectively to the point it leaves victims physically frozen before the object of their desire. Succubi and the demon are themselves tied in lore and it’s easy to see how similar their core skill are. Succubi don’t give a good idea of what a character would wish for on their own but they certainly give hints on what they crave, regardless of how you want to read it.

— Last bit is self-explanatory. To placate Chilchuck and win his compliance over, the monster that reads your soul like an open book offers to give him something specific. But! It’s also important to remember that the lion isn’t offering to fulfill Chilchuck’s dream world wish here, it’s a second prize, because his goal with what he promised Laios is that they’d stay in this world, away from everyone and everything else. Chilchuck wants to get away but is kept back, and it’s here the lion placates him with "hey it’s okay! You can’t do that but I can still give you this! This is enough right? It’ll make everything easier on you".

What each bit says: — Long version in another post. Tldlr: His daughters and family are obviously important to him, and this reinforces that he takes on the role of protector a lot, he’s constantly worried for his party members’ lives and implicitly his family’s. Safety and stability, both economical and otherwise, are his core values and goals, and he berates both others and himself if someone fails on those fronts. Here, there’s the fear of not being enough, of not having been able to protect, and of course of loss.

— Chil’s succubi are obviously sexual, and not only that but agressively and straightforwardly so. It’s not like Marcille’s where there’s personality involved, all they do is give him sultry looks and pretty smiles before jumping on him. His succubi aren’t like Izutsumi’s, always the same exact person and appearance, so it’s not someone but an appealing general idea. The idea of a sexual being he can regard as simply a gorgeous piece of meat and a good time no strings attached. In my interpretation, especially with my reading of Laios’ succubus where even with deep-seated desires negative emotions can be too intense to effectively freeze a victim, I think this doesn’t contradict his character. Relationships have been painful to him in the past, in the succubus scene when his wife gets mentioned his immediate reaction is to yell "Don’t bring her up now!", like with his habit of drinking and as a tallman liking his senses feeling dulled, it’s about not having to feel emotions with how difficult they are to deal with sometimes and just feeling good, or at least not having to think, for a while. If a succubus showcases someone’s ideal connection with an ideal person, then Chilchuck’s is with a pretty person that doesn’t stir any negative memory or drama, someone low stakes and low maintenance that doesn’t require him to manage or talk out feelings because there’s none involved in the first place.

— Once more, wife and family are important! He does long for his family, not only his wife but his daughters, and vice versa. This suggests not only that he wants good relationships with them but that he wants them to be with him, a family life. Far from the cut communication they all more of less have during canon, and perhaps far from their life pre-canon when he worked away from home a significant amount of time. We’ve seen recreations of people by the winged lion before with doppelgangers and monsters (naga), and though he claims he can make satisfying imitations, what we’ve seen is that they base themselves on the best memories of that person, like with Marcille’s dad, or twist behavior to be more pleasant, like Mithrun’s lover (and possibly twist appearances depending on the person’s view of them, but that’s Mithrun analysis). The line does suggest Chilchuck would want his family members as they are in reality and not idealized versions, but the circumstances are chaotic and urgent enough in the scene (and again the lion isn’t fulfilling Chilchuck’s wish but trying to make him content for Laios’) that it could just be the winged lion saying what he needs to to convince him the fastest possible, and like we see with Laios that can crumble to give way to deeper or more complex desires.

On top of that we just have general info on Chil. How does Chilchuck deal w his issues? What does he like to do? He likes alcohol and ignoring his problems. We have to remember there is a split between what someone would consciously wish for and what their soul uncontrollably irrationally craves. As always with Dunmeshi, there’s a narrative of irrational deep-seated desires vs active wants, what you crave vs what you strive for, what you dream of vs what’s actually good for you, the animal vs the human inside you, heart vs mind. Chilchuck craving a harem of hot babes in his fantasies but wanting his family life & wife back again is not mutually exclusive. You may crave becoming a monster and tasting what humans are like a little but still want to save the world & your friends more.

Btw can we adress the irony of him terrified of being the last one alive, of being left by his daughters and wife, of having left and coming back home one day to see everything gone or rampaged, yet not caring about dying of liver failure himself, knowing every time that he enters a dungeon there’s a real risk he may not come out. Die somewhere I can’t see you. I prefer leaving you than being left behind. He’s selfish and shortsighted like that… Chilchuck is selfless in many ways of course, but perhaps also due to his own relationship with his parents, he often undermines the effects he has on others in his relationships, both the good and the bad (he talks himself down about being cowardly and greedy yes, but never hints at his bad health habits, alcoholism and starving himself, may have affected his loved ones, doesn’t question his wife falling into a bad mood the night before she left, and talks about the possibility of dying here and there very casually, though obviously he tries his best to stay alive when it doesn’t concern his health).

Chilchuck king of "Let me just avoid and ignore my problems surely they’ll go away, things might work out and if they don’t well tough luck I’ll survive and I probably deserve it anyways". If I don’t look at it it will dissapear <3 Why care when you can simply not think about it.

You might not understand Mister "my love will stay strong through months of work travel and also 4 years of separation" and Mister "well idk my siblings and me are kinda strangers and my dad is dead but that’s kinda whatever", but typically relationships need some form of maintenance and emotional availability…

The actual headcanons finally

I kinda have 2 routes in mind for dunlord Chil and both of them are centered on "I care too much, i wish things were easy", so first is a lot like his succubi, it’s full on indulging in his guilty pleasures like alcohol and bodies and it’s to keep him in a constant state of thrill and euphoria and distracted, unfeeling about stuff that really matters. "Nothing matters except that I’m enjoying the moment!" vibe. He gets to live a life worthy of Dionysus, with alcohol and women and debauchery and like— never having to think again, never having to feel anything but pleasure again, never have to feel guilty or shitty or angry or sad. He has a harem and gets everything on a silver platter.

Breaking news demon magic-induced rush of euphoria and power still not enough to cure this man of his self-hatred nor his capacity for thought!! But in his case a state of euphoria is what he seeks I think, to kinda mask or replace the Everything Else.

The other is what I think closer to what canon suggests, with what WL implied too with "I’ll make you a new wife and kids like the originals!! 😊", it’s a (spoilers) Wandavision type thing where it’s a slice of life where he’s never at work and always at home and the family eats lunches at the dinner table together and everything and everyone at any moment is just. Happy. No issues. It was all a dream, this is real and everything is fine and your family is perfect and happy. I like to think the timeline would be wonky, his daughters would fluctuate in age, but he’d want to be there for what he missed, would want them to still rely on him and look up to him like when they were young, would like to forget that they’re now independent adults and the distance that grew between Chilchuck and his siblings is happening between them as well. Chil would want doppelgangers of his family imo, at its core just a general wish for a peaceful happy family life with no drama, no need to compromise, a little paradise of unconditional love and no consequences. It’s for sure straightforward, but Chilchuck is a man with straightforward desires…

But see Chilchuck is a greedy man, and he wants it both ways without having to sacrifice anything or expanding any efforts himself. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. I think playing with these two opposite directions and mixing and matching is most fun. Him leading a life where he indulges in all his worst habits while still having everything he wants… Him getting to have BOTH his wife and any woman he can imagine up, his life like two sides of a coin he can flip at any moment where he’s partying then he’s at home enjoying the quiet and his toddler daughters playing with toys on the carpet. Christ when you remember it’s all an illusion that’s terrifying, the doppelgangers and succubi from the winged lion playing chilchuck ping pong.

A safe little haven both security-stability wise and emotionally. Gets to have both the relaxing and the thrilling in any dose he wants, mixed or separatedly. What I’d argue he had pre-canon too: Can live it up in taverns away from home, stays away from home for long periods of time, and can come back to home aka the symbol of relaxation and safety whenever he decides to. Something he can leave and come back to at will, an anchor he can trust in (until it’s taken from him and his wife leaves. Or in his worse nightmare people rush in and kill his daughters). The ideal of a house and family to a working man, perhaps…

I think it’s fun to think on wether or not these desires would be interesting at all to the winged lion… In canon he seeks out "rare/complex desires", common simple things like I imagine riches, sex, substances and pleasure would be are boring to him, he’s eaten those so many times already. So perhaps he wouldn’t last long as a dunlord, the WL would want to eat him fully quick, can’t keep him interested or waiting long for a meager meal, too much effort raising the cattle and too low quality meat. By making it more twisted or layered Chil’s desire would become more desirable to the demon, it’s part of what’s fun with the third option to me. But whatever. Has he ever eaten a guy with this much repression and self-sabotage... Like trying to get the meat out of a walnut, enrichment…

Other dunlord Chil takes I’ve seen that are fun and good:

@feelo-fick and @pluvio-floret have a dunlord Chilchuck AU project dubbed "tragedy AU" where Chilchuck is said to be "on vacation", in a weird delirious state, only half-there half of the time… From which he doesn’t want to wake up </3 Quoting Feelo, this is why the vacation thing is only a half-joke cause he is 1) letting all his responsibilities go 2) indulging in himself and 3) "spending time with his family" <- lie but you get what i mean. Additional comments that have me vigorously nodding: because changing is hard why cant things just be okay right now without the effort !!! Life is hard he’s so so tired he just wants to feel good… he just wants life to feel nice and easy for a sec while he can learn to breathe again and lose the stress and trauma he’s accumulated…….. spoiler alert yes !!! in fact a depressed person can suck themselves into their job and lock out the world who wouldve thought !!!

And then Cabinette I know posted about his dunlord take once but I don’t have the link, in which Chil has a lot of nosebleeds because of mana overload which is fun and interesting to think about imo~

In dunmeshi, where characters get underground pockets of the world as their playground disconnected from everything outside and the rest of the world, it’s important to remember to face reality even if it has conflict and people with different views and stances from you, it’s something Chilchuck and Marcille and everyone needed to learn, and the thing with a dungeon lord AU is that you imagine a timeline where he fails to <3

A timeline where his dungeon lord wish is to desire nothing bc hope and want has only ever hurt him would also go so hard. Very universal thing though I suppose.

… And this is why a Chilchuck-centric Coraline AU is really really interesting and fitting and topical— Ok that’ll go in a separate reblog/post at @Fumiku I need to let this end

[pastelaspirations]

So, u h.

H O W. HOW, I ASK. ALL I DO IS POST ART ONCE IN A BLUE MOON AND MAKE REALLY CURSED REBLOGS. LIKE, I'M SO VERY GLAD YOU'RE HERE, BUT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW OR WHY YOU'RE HERE-

I also like. Make really angsty, ungodly long fanfics that I do absolutely nothing to promote on this dumpster fire of a blog, but that's besides the point- ANYWAY. HAVE SOME REALLY SKETCHY DOODLES THAT I DID TO THANK YA MAD LADS ;_;

Thank ya, thank ya, you absolute mad lads. I will uh... continue to do what I do. Thank you for joining the ride, even though it's less of a ride and more that I found an abandoned theme park ride and decided to ride it as a prolonged death wish and you inexplicably strapped yourself in next to me with the moldy seatbelt-

[millenniumringg]

I’m alive …. Fics and drawings might take a pause for a bit though :-( but it is for good reason I am becoming a learned man

[athousandbyeol]

i'm going through millions of emotions right now because of thamepo's trailer only God knows how much this drama means to me 😭

[invece-sto-sdraiato]

Okay. Um so. Finally I got the selection letter for that college I’ve been wanting to get in. But i got a seat for civil engineering. Which was my third option. Are there seriously THAT many people who got mechanical before me?? How?? My second option was ECE which is totally out of the question since almost 70% of all the people came for that one.

Help why are my hands trembling :(

[queerofthedagger]

sometimes people say things in tags that reveal such a severe misunderstanding of a character (cough cough arthur) and it always makes me slow-blink at my screen like.... you do you girlypop but also the self-restraint not to screenshot and pick it apart does not get acknowledged nearly enough good fucking grief

[toxifoxx]

scratches back of head

[k-illdarlings]

commuting is so tiring and now my knees feels like its gonna fall off bc of how much im walking

[tvrningout-a]

when i finally have some free time, it’s over for y’all 🔪

[steampoweredlovemachine]

let's give it up for f/os that you will probably never be able to define your relationship with but are an ultimate source of comfort anyways

[nem0-nee]

MILGRAM? whos your favorite priosn entity

HMMM- Just a disclaimer first!?! I only know Milgram by the songs! I haven't seen the interrogation/voice dramas/etc just yet- My Milgram knowledge is so smol ;v;

[Deco*27 is one of my favorite producers, so I casually just dip in a bit for the songs]

Personally, love Mahiru just because of how catchy her song is. Don't get me wrong- that girl has some loose screws, but GOD her song SLAPS 👏

I used to like Mu, till I saw her in the second trial 💀 Another banger song yes- bUT HOLY FUCK did she get cocky?!?!

Like [After Pain] hit really hard for me when I first listened to it back in 2020- BUT SHEEESH?!?! Seeing [It's Not My Fault] got me going 💀 I didn't see that curveball from a mile

...Still lowkey like her though... It's not my fault (pls laugh /j)

Will probably update this when I get deeper in the Milgram hellhole™ But for now, these two are my picks! (Sorry in advance if it's illegal to like either of the two, I'm not in the loop 😭😭)

Would also like to know y'all's favorites- brainrotting with others can be fun shsjswhsis

[Also- Proseka x Milgram collab when- JKJK...unless?]

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

!!

[ofyorkshire]

GOSH. goooooooosh. watching an ep of ozark and i take it back. bj would trust ruth. and he would love her oh.

oh is it weird i see a lot of them in each other. she's much more ready to use her teeth but bj admires it. doesn't really... agree with what she does, a lot of the time, but he gets it.

the leniency he gives for people just trying to survive, man. bj would get it, and he would not hold it against her or think any less of her for it. even if he's at a point where he's trying to keep his nose clean, he'd look the other way for her. might even help her, a little, as long as it was something he believed would be a one-off and wouldn't keep him in trouble.

[blackmesa-vr]

🥊🏆

[clannadhymn]

I love how you draw Lord X… he is so scrunkly in your style

YOU GUYS,,,,., /pos

THANK YOU SO MUCH I'M GENUINELY SO FUCKIGN FLATTERED