#really gotta work on the lengths
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 4 ]
{☆} characters arlecchino, furina, lyney {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 3.7k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ]
Fontaine was bathed in darkness, not even the moon daring to illuminate where the common man fears to walk. The streets were bleak and empty save for the constant, rhythmic ticking and clanking of machines marching on endlessly, dauntlessly wading where even the bravest dared not to venture. Not even the sharp click of the Gardes boots followed the occasional hisses of steam as they walked the barren streets.
It was haunting, and it'd been like that for days now. It showed little signs of stalling in the slightest, too. Every inch of Fontaine was practically crawling with Gardemeks– like a swarm of rats skittering about.
Arlecchino had secluded herself in the Hotel Bouffes d'ete for days at this point, waiting– biding her time. Her nails clicked against the wood as she tapped at the table in a stilted rhythm, the subtle click of the clock mixing into the clanking outside, weaving in and out of earshot as the patrols slipped by. She reached forward after a moment of thought, reaching for the white king.
She leaned back against the chaise, tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of a patrol of Gardemeks as they vanished behind the rows and rows of buildings. It wasn't enough to keep her attention for long, however, her features twisting in disinterest as she glanced back to the chessboard– and the letter neatly resting beside it. The seal was unmistakable and a sobering sight, demanding her attention– the soft hues of blue etched into the shape of a dragon stared back at her in a way that almost unsettled her.
She had already parsed through it's contents hundreds of times, but she was met with only vague, flowing script that only served to irritate her more then anything– it filled the page top to bottom yet managed to say nothing at all. Her hand reached out again, but instead of reaching for the letter she plucked the black rook from the board, setting it down with a soft click.
Arlecchino had all the time in the world to sit back and observe her prey, but all that time would be useless if she lacked the information to act.
And he was quite tight fisted about it, evidentially. None of her inquiries or attempts to decipher any potential codes in the letter left her empty handed. She could not act without even knowing the reason for his summons– it was almost worded like a personal affair rather then one would expect for a foreign diplomat. In truth, she'd expected a scalding report on her operatives, but it lacked any mention of anything of the sort.
She was no stranger to people masking hostility behind pretty words and compliments, not that it was ever unwarranted per se– the Fatui did not create connections through honesty and genuine kindness. They have strong armed more then their fair share of people into cooperation to the point distrust is all the Fatui are met with outside of Snezhnaya. Every word was meant to conceal the deceit, every action meant to conceal the price later paid.
So she had been..skeptical of the letter, to put it lightly. She doubted the Iudex of all people would offer a hand to the Fatui without a price attached– a trap, perhaps, meant to lure in the most powerful piece left on the board. Her eyes narrowed, reaching for a white rook and moving it to the right.
Or he was hiding something. Something that he simply couldn't risk getting out to anyone, not even the Divine themself. A tempting prize, whatever it was.
..A dangerous prize, too.
She'd considered burning the letter and forgetting it all together– the risk was great, and she couldn't risk getting caught up by whoever else the Iudex may have on his side of the board. But she could hardly pass up the challenge and the prize that he fought so hard to keep from prying eyes and ears. Even her agents came back empty handed each time. She lazily picked up a black rook, sliding the white pawn aside.
"Lyney," Arlecchino drawled, crossing one leg over the other and turning her gaze to the door as it slowly creaked open. The pale visage of Lyney stepped through, though his siblings were noticeably absent. The weariness that weighed down on his shoulders was apparent in the slightest furrow of his brows and the subtle creak of leather as he clenched his fists behind his back. "Father." He choked out, the title dragged out by the sharp inhale and shaky exhale.
He looked out of breath, she noted.
The silence that lingered after the small exchange was punctuated only by the click of another chess piece being moved. She sets aside the black rook, letting it sit among the dozen other pieces that had been wiped off the board. She can see the conviction glinting beneath the fog of exhaustion, but if he would utilize it was another matter all together.
He had seemed to make his choice quickly, at the very least.
"Our contacts and operatives within the Fortress of Meropide have gone silent– all we have is their final confirmed missive.." His voice is confident, but it is rigid as the words spill from his lips. He takes a sharp step forward, unfolding his arms from behind his back and opening his hands– the small, water stained and messily folded note catches her eye, plucking it from his palms with a half hearted interest. "They believe the Duke left the Fortress of Meropide..and that he may be coming to the Court of Fontaine."
Her eyes narrow dangerously, nearly crumpling the thin paper in her hands– yet just as quickly, she collects herself.
But she cannot get rid of the bitter taste on her tongue, lingering as she sets down the note and slides it to the side, her lips pursed into a thin line.
So the Iudex had shown one of his pieces..she tightly grasps a black rook, tipping over the white rook, letting it roll against the board.
If the Duke was involved, things were much more complicated then she expected– he would be a problem, she was certain. She couldn't blame the lamb for fearing the wolf, either. Whether her agents had been killed or captured by the man mattered little. He had his ways, and he was a force that could instill fear in even them.
Which meant the possibility that her operation was already compromised was far too real.
What had the Iudex so concerned he had gone through the trouble of bringing in the Duke and herself? The Fatui was one thing, but to specifically request one of it's Harbingers..
The Prophecy? The thought had her clenching her fist, but..no. If it were to rear it's head now, the Iudex could simply not afford to waste time on his contacts deciphering his nonsensical script– If the prophecy were to be the issue, there time would be limited to mere minutes in the worst of cases. Which meant it was worth biding his time in order to ensure absolute secrecy.
So if not the prophecy, then what?
Her next moves were..limited. She was already walking on eggshells considering her position and the reputations of the Fatui– especially with a Harbinger in the midst. If they caught wind of her operations, they'd weed out her operatives and be on guards for any snakes that lingered in their garden.
She reached for the chessboard again, picking up one of the white rooks from the board with a scowl. The sharp click as she sets down the white rook and sets aside the black pawn draws a shaky inhale from Lyney as she moves another black pawn, the dull click of the pieces drowning out the distant clinking of machines.
..A draw, perhaps.
The pieces were all falling into place– the players of this game were slowly being revealed. Whether she could secure her victory..she was unsure.
She wasn't even sure who her opponent was. Only that the Iudex himself was but another piece in their game.
Arlecchino reached for the board again, yet this time she hesitated. Perhaps she could still swipe the win from beneath them, if she played her cards right.
She would simply have to capture the king– or, if need be, let it end on a draw. Either way, she would not concede. She could not afford to concede. Down to the last piece, she would drag out this match until she was in a position to force their hand into the outcome she desired.
She stood slowly, picking up the king piece and observing it for only the briefest of moments before she set it down on the table, taking measured steps around the table and across the room. She was hunting a much more dangerous quarry today– it would be no simple runaway traitor this time.
"Do you remember the directive?" She inquired coldly, her hand lingering on the door for that long, tense moment. "..Yes, Father." Lyney faltered, taking a hesitant step back and bowing at the waist. "Then do not stray."
All that was left was the silence and click of the door shutting behind her as she disappeared down the hall, her boots clicking harshly against the floorboards. The rest of the agents knew better then to linger in her path as she stepped down into the lobby, adjusting the cuffs of her sleeves. She barely even acknowledged the Fatui agent standing at the ready by the heavyset doors, their gloves hands held out with her cloak held loosely in their palms. She quickly snagged it from them, tugging it over her board shoulders and clasping it around her throat.
With a quick tug, she brought the hood up over her head to conceal her sharp features, lifting her hand and placing a neatly folded note within their waiting hands. She had only one chance to make the right moves and secure her victory– no matter the cost.
Each piece had it's purpose.
Oft, that purpose was a bloody and horrible end– but for the grand goal of the Fatui built on the backs of the dead, it was an honor.
She didn't bother speaking a word as she dismissed them with a wave of her hand, pushing open the heavyset doors and stepping out into the barren, damp streets. The rhythmic clink and whir of Gardemeks was still distant– she needed to move. Her boots clicked and splashed in the rain soaked stone of the streets as she slithered between the buildings, ducking through the openings in the patrols.
It was almost too easy.
She tilted her head back, taking in the towering Palais Mermonia with a scowl, her hands clenched into fists. The final moves were being played– the king was within her reach, yet she felt no more confident then when she began.
The air carried a sense of unease, thick and heavy, filling her lungs until she felt her breath still in her chest– listening to the empty, bleak night that seemed so..quiet.
She'd done her fair share of research, had more then her fair share of her agents try to peer into the Iudex's office or the Archon's supposedly hidden chambers, but every attempt was a failure. She had to give them credit, they were quite elusive when they wished to be. Though now she only thought about it bitterly– this was all a risky gamble, in the end, and only time would tell if it paid off.
With minimal effort, she'd managed to pull herself to the flat, tiled roof, eyeing the massive tower peaking out of the center cautiously. At least here the wandering patrols down below weren't likely to notice her..she could hear them passing by the spot she'd been in only a few minutes ago, just beneath her. She pulled the hood further over her face, peering through the sheer darkness of the night for any oddities, but it was almost impossible to see in the dark.
Her boots clicked softly against the tiles as she approached the tower jutting out from the Palais, her hand gliding along the smooth stone, pressing against odd indents or crevices. If it was for the Archon's chambers, she doubted they made it very difficult– she'd only met the woman once, but she doubted the Iudex make it all that complex just from a brief glance. And it surprised her little when one of the stones sunk into the wall, gears whirring as the walls split open to reveal a stairwell straight into an inky black hall. Only the barest hint of light peaked under the door at the bottom, but it's occupants must have heard her, considering it went out not a moment later.
She cautiously stepped down into the small crevice, her breath visible in the bitter cold air– her shoulders tensed at the subtle sound of muffled footsteps behind the door, her vision flaring with a molten heat between her shoulder blades as she reached for the worn handle of the door. The heat of her vision was enough to just barely heat the metal, her vision flaring like a quickly building inferno.
Arlecchino was prepared for a fight, if it came down to it.
The door creaked as she pressed against it, shoving it open with a grunt of effort and surveying the room with narrowed eyes and a biting remark on the tip of her tongue– the lavish opulence was expected, she supposed, but the lack of the towering figure of the Iudex was not.
Yet before she could get a word in or even take in her surroundings properly, the light flickered back on and she had to squeeze her eyes shut with a hiss at the sudden brightness. She could hear the door being shoved closed behind her, the hurried footsteps retreating just as quickly as her eyes adjusted to the light.
..This was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be.
She'd expected the Iudex, perhaps even the Duke if she'd been unlucky, not the Hydro Archon. She had half the mind to test her worth as an Archon then and there, her temper flaring like an uncontrollable blaze, barely kept at bay. It took all her self control to force herself to smile politely at the woman rather then snarl.
"Miss Furina," She sneered beneath her hood, x shaped pupils locked onto the startled, trembling Archon with thinly veiled contempt. "What a..pleasant surprise. You'll have to forgive my manners, I assumed I was meeting with the Iudex." She observed her body language carefully– the way her eyes darted about like a frightened rabbit seeking escape, the slightest tremble of her lips..
Arlecchino opened her mouth to offer another scathing remark, but her jaw audibly clicked shut as her entire body seemed to lock up. Even her vision went cold against her back, a chilling feeling creeping up her spine as someone, or something, crept up behind her. Their footsteps were almost silent, the slight rustling of their clothes the only thing she could hear over her heart pounding against her ribcage.
Arlecchino had always prided herself on being on the other end of that sensation– she was the monster, and her target was the prey frozen like a deer between the hunters crosshair.
It was a chilling feeling to have the dynamic shifted on it's head.
She couldn't even swallow, her jaw clenched so hard she could hear it creak as she tried to reason with her quickly splintering mind– a futile effort, her joints locking up almost painfully. Black spots were quickly swallowing her vision from the lack of air in her lungs, the sound of shuffling behind her barely audible over the ringing in her ears.
For a moment – a moment too long to have only lasted the seconds that it did, yet so quick it gave her whiplash – she thought she would hit the floor dead before she could even glimpse her assailant.
And then it was gone. She came crashing back into reality with a startled inhale, her lungs burning and her knees nearly buckling under her. The instinct to lash out and kill whoever had done it was intense, yet she couldn't bring herself to move even a finger– it would be so easy to twist around and ignite them with searing flames, but her feet were rooted in place.
She almost didn't notice the surprisingly gentle hands unclasping her cloak, tugging it off her shoulders, if not for the sheer intensity of the presence still lingering behind her. Her mind was still fractured, struggling to right itself after the ordeal, and it had her seething.
"..Are you certain you held back enough?" Furina croaked, the normally soft lilt raspy and almost hoarse. "Not– not that I doubt your capability, most Divine!"
Arlecchino felt her nails dig harshly into her palms, heat swelling beneath her skin– Divine? Had she lost her mind? The Divine was..
The Divine was upon their throne where they belonged. She'd seen them!
"Hm. Well, maybe? Sorry, I didn't think it'd affect you too." Their voice was sickeningly soft as they stepped around her like she wasn't even there, focusing their attention on the Archon who seemed more then delighted about it. "What gave you that impression, most Divine? Aha, I..was completely unaffected, as you can see! Perfectly fine."
Furina let out a small squeak when they pinched her cheek, but the almost affectionate smile that tugged at their lips revealed the lack of malice behind the action.
"You're a bad liar, Furina. You might want to sit down..please?" They didn't take her protests for an answer, gently pushing her to sit on the bed before abruptly turning to face Arlecchino once more, a forced smile on their lips. "Oh, good, you're..uh, not dead. That's good. I thought I fried your brain. Sorry?"
..Had she hit her head on the way here? The Divine should still be on their throne, yet she couldn't shake the weight of their stare– it felt tangible. She felt like she was standing face to face with the stars– galaxies and constellations bearing down upon her.
She grit her teeth and clenched her hands until she felt the sting of her nails against her palms, grounding herself in the pain through the sheer overwhelming nature of their existence.
"You.." She croaks, reaching out with a shaky hand and grabbing them by the collar of their shirt, lifting them up until their feet left the floor– she pays no mind to the startled protests of the Archon. Arlecchino would crush her like a bug before she even got the chance to intervene and they both knew it. "You shouldn't exist– you aren't them, and yet you..you're the imposter, aren't you?" Her grip tightens yet they face her without an ounce of fear, meeting her unyielding glare with a pondering look.
Arlecchino wanted to make them bleed just to see if she could, the urge to sink her teeth into skin welling up in her chest to the point she visibly snarled, her mask of politeness long . "You're the imposter." Her expression falls for a moment before she schools it into one of apathy, setting them back down and holding them there for a moment, finally releasing them after a tense moment. "Or you were supposed to be."
Hers brows furrow– she wants to demand answers, to throttle them for damning them to being nothing more then dolls for the supposed Divine to break at their whim, but none of the words come to her.
"..Why now? The current Divine has been in power for years, yet you descend now?" Her shoulders tensed, lips pursed into a thin line– it's impossible to ignore the truth that lay before her. The Divine is a fraud and this..imposter is the true Divine. How many years had they been in power, now? How many years were they waiting? Why did they wait? Was the suffering of Teyvat not enough? Was the blood that painted the steps of their stolen throne not enough?
She'd personally been on the wrong end of the Divine's wrath– she wonders..had they watched? Had they seen the cruel hand of their imposter and turned their back on Teyvat?
"I.." They hesitated. It made her seethe, her hands clenching into fists at her sides– her vision flickered, flames swelling within it's casing just to be smothered by the presence of the Divine. But once that spark had been lit, she refused to let it go out. "I didn't know."
The answer does not satisfy her. There is an itch beneath her skin that she cannot scratch, a fire that burns in her chest so hot it scorches even herself.
"And what about now? Are you content to cower like prey in the safety of the Palais Mermonia?" She snapped, taking a step forward, her brows furrowed and her glare intense– she can see the slightest bit of worry in their eyes. She revels in it. "Will you let them use your acolytes like pawns? How many more need to be broken on the steps to your throne before you act?"
Again, her vision flares and dims– it refuses to be used against the Divine that created it.
"Have you no answer?"
The room is silent. They do not speak and neither does she.
Even the world itself seems to quiet in the face of her accusations, fury boiling to the surface so hot it incinerated all it touched.
"I will kill them myself."
Their words are quiet, but they are not soft– there is a vindictive, searing anger that explodes out like dying stars within their eyes. The sight of constellations replaced by a void that would not be . The smell of ichor grows stronger– to the point she feels almost lightheaded.
"..I am aware that I have failed in preventing this, but I had no choice in the matter. Still," They muse, their voice like the tolling of bells. A solemn melody that stills the swelling fury burning in her chest, if only for a moment. "I will rectify it– I will tear down their throne of lies and let not even the earth tarnish itself by burying their corpse among it's soil."
They pause for a moment, holding out their hand– scarred and bandaged by the weapons of the devout, yet still they take upon the burden of dirtying their hands to save those who did not save them.
"Do you trust me, Arlecchino?"
Did she?
"Will you help me?"
She exhales heavily, meeting the starry iris' of the Divine with a scowl still tugging at her lips. Arlecchino trusted no one but herself.
"..Yes."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#arlecchino#lyney#furina#you do NOT wanna know what i got put thru writing this fic#trying 2 find out where arle was in the few times we DO see her and going down a rabbit hole of fuck fontaine and its layout actually!#I spent like 3 hours looking it up and checking in game it gives me a migraine thinking abt it. ew#anyway trying to write a really smart character is surprisingly difficult when ur as dumb as rocks#also used an actual chess match for this and gave myself an even worse migraine trying 2 make sure i didnt repeat moves or smth#furina doesnt get a spotlight yet just imagine her sitting in the corner trembling like a wet kitten you found on the side of the road#arlecchino goes thru a crisis more at 11#shes a tired single dad shes isnt getting paid enough for this okay#hands u a fic over half the length of the other THREE PARTS#ehe :]#is arle actually on ur side??? is she gonna double cross u???? who knows!!!!!#shes unpredictable she might stab u for funsies#anyway im gonna go nap in a ditch now this took SO LONGGGGG OH MY G-D#also just think acolytes who arent buddy buddy w reader and even resent them is so tasty#bc how r they supposed 2 know reader was a human vibing 5 minutes before their got eebied 2 teyvat..#reader gotta roll up their sleeves and get 2 WORK sometimes murder IS okay#they gotta fix some shit around here and that means committing several crimes all at once. sometimes more#a group can be g-d (just got here) their dragon (neuvi) their cat (archon) their dog (wrio) and their wolf (arle)
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is this the equivalent of a work pizza party
#im not trying to be ungrateful and so on and so forth nice gesture etc#this is coming from our head chef who is technically one of our managers but not The Manager#and its like whatever but. do you get me#anyway i dont think the shelf would even be a help to me my brother in christ i can barely fit my huge ass coat in there.#a shelf will not help this problem#ive also been thinking more and more that its really kind of stupid for me to have a locker on the 63rd floor when i work on 15#like if something happens i gotta take my ass up to 63 to get my stuff???#but its whatever. ive gotta get out of here but its fine#by the way these are like half size lockers. not the full length ones or whatever#whatever its fine in the torture chamber and none of this really matters anyway. thank you for listening
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i wanna have the time to work on this mkulia rivals to lovers tdi reboot rewrite fic so bad... y'all don't know the depths of backstory i've summoned for mk...
#i gotta finish amicus curiae first i still havent written the last 2.5 chapters#and i really want to finish the courtney time travel au sometime in 2025...#not to mention like. the insane amount of original writing i have to do if i wanna have a sustainable career as a writer lol#but the mkulia fic would only be about 9 chapters of dubious length so maybe i could write it after amicus curiae??#ah who knows#i really should get on a writing schedule#for both original work and fics
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the only wholesome eridan gets being that when he's dead, and his friends are dead, at least it means none of the people he emotionally cares about will die of old age too soon and leave him for centuries :,)
the true comfort of a doomed timeline in the end! easier to be in the moment with the people around you when you and all of them are actively being preserved as memory ghosts until further notice lol
#tmos opens mail#gl1tchypyr0#god that reminds me. theres two fics of varying lengths involving the dream bubbles i still gotta work on LMAO#maybe wont happen tonight considering its like. 2 minutes until i should really be in bed LMAO
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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it is once again time for the semi-annual expedition across pinterest in search of a picture that i'm not too self-conscious to take to my hair appointment
over the next two days, i will inevitably come to the conclusion that what i actually want is a different face and hair type entirely
#gotta be realistic about having baby-fine hair and conflicting priorities ya know?#i like how it *feels* better when it's short but i like the way it *looks* when it's a little bit longer#(i say 'longer' but like. it's just barely approaching shoulder length right now and it FEELS like i'm on some nona-level bullshit already)#tbh going really short would probably skip past the weird proportions/angles that i don't like#but we all know i'm absolutely not gonna keep it trimmed up nice. that's too much effort.#plus i actually like how my bangs are at the moment and idk how that would work#also kind of considering doing a bit more ~strawberry blonde~ this time. a lil hint of mercymorn. if you will.#idk!
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wait all the sudden im writing the coffee shop au i started forever ago for no reason and have no plot or plans for other than vibes???? what the hell is wrong with me
#maybe this will be like#a really short au#like i dont plan to make this novel length like rollins#maybe we'll conclude after one 'chapter' and then see if it goes anywhere after that#GOD I HAVE TOO MANY AUS#and im also working on the rollins christmas special???? help#tss#the starless sea#listen kristins got canon z and d under control i think its safe to leave them in her hands#aus on the other hand. someones gotta write em#i gotta kick us off maybe if people find several aus on ao3 theyll be like#oh i wanna write an au for this fandom too#gotta get it off the ground a bit
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He cleaned up nice
Didn't end up working as the townie i wanted him to be, but I'll never say no to a cute redhead. Even if we both know that's not his natural color.
#might make him a random celeb. hes got an undeniable sort of charisma.#or maybe i just really like redheads.#who can say.#simoleon#my kiddos#definitely gotta work on my CAS lighting and photo preset bc man. i might like the pics i accidentally took#with the gameplay gshade. better. oops!#well im still working on all that#its a wip.#does he look suspiciously like my OC Mark or am i just doubting my ability to make different faces again...#does every redhead with medium length slicked back red hair look the same to me...#anyway real interesting features on this guy imo#i feel like he DOESNT look like the same 2 guys i keep making over and over again#but also he kind of does.#ugh.#i will never shake this same face syndrome as long as i keep making hot guys#but will i stop?#unlikely.
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while im ranting about rpg stuff
there are some dudes with a really cool rpg monster-design book who have absolutely botched their kickstarter and are scrambling to crawl over the finish line before the campaign time runs out
today it was like "Friday! That means blog post day!" like guys you have been making blog posts every single day desperately trying to scrabble together a few more supporters
i get those emails cause i supported it, it's a really cool project I'd like to see succeed, but man theyve really dropped the ball. one of the guys is an 80k youtuber and they thought that would just be enough i guess?
also theyre asking for 75,000 BIG ONES like guys i have seen fully illustrated book kickstarters before. yours is UNDER 100 PAGES. there are entire original rulebooks and box sets funding for a fraction of that right now. i kindaaaa think theyre trying to squeeze out a bit of pocket money on that baseline funding goal.
honestly yeah theyre reaaally gettin a bit overconfident askin $75k for a glorified 80pg tables book in the indie rpg scene, especially for a book that's already complete?? i fully support trying to earn back your sacrifices and turn a profir on a project you had to make for free before you could sell it, but....
$75k..? 84 pages..? already written and illustrated? in the tabletop homebrew market, the most frugal "build it yourself" audience in all of gaming? ...really?
#my book isnt the greatest comparison cause i didnt have to illustrate it but...#it's the same length and full color professional layout... for free#you understand youre asking $75k for an equivalent product... and both of ours are dwarfed by other full-scale projects out there#asking for <$20k... very often <$10k#with the same full scale original illustrations#idk man i just feel like youre askin comfy corporate costs for a personal passion project#if youre flyin solo you gotta tighten your belt man#again I'd love you to make $75k plus... but is it really a minimum price to ask for? you already made the book.#wouldnt focusing on just breaking even to start be better than setting a profitable minimum and possibly getting NOTHING back?#i kinda feel like maybe it's the artist trying to put a higher “per piece” value on his work.... but...... is this where you wanna do that?#idk man maybe it's a solid plan. “Yeah WoTC my rate is 50k for 10 full page illustrations so youre lookin at like at least 5k for a page.”#national art gallery atelier dudes dont even get that much per piece not a bad hustle
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Successfully got offline today instead of just scrolling through Tumblr all day. I wasn't really as productive as I planned, but I still had fun and some things can wait :-)
USER WAS PLANNING NEW ART PROJECT WITH TWO TO FOUR TABS OF THE SAME PDF FILE OPEN ON DIFFERENT PAGES, A WORDPAD DOCUMENT OPEN AND PARTIALLY COLLAPSED, SEVERAL NEW CANVASES AND THE SNIPING TOOL USED
#me#text#meme#i made you a clean house but i hyperfixated it#(knitting project)#i used art priject to he general but im planning selbu mittens! :-)#i finally figured out i could just take an ms paint doc with the exact pixel length and width of the portion of knitting i need#and edit THAT instead of trying to use the full tool on a tortured grid i made online and screecapped#which is significantly easier now#plus i realized i dont *need* to have the two motifs plus the side panels be *exactly* the specific st counts they are#plus with two spots just for space#that was just the rule in the pattern im stealing. which im really not bc im just using the st counr and dimensions since i know#the gloves fit or at least the fingerless gloves do. theyll fit as mittens i think#theyre not really meant to be strethed like gloves#i think.#i actually havent worn mittens in a while#i did steal the knitting project tho#underwing mitts are very cool and mostlt easy to figure out from ravelry images and project notes that list stitch counts and such#i did fuck up the thumbs but they were my first so its gucci#oh i gotta get some yarn sometime and find a glove pattern that works#i dont think i can use this one for it circumference wise#hm#we'll see
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ao3 stats game
tagged by @malcolm-f-tucker, ty!!
Rules: Give us the links to your wonderful words with the most hits, most kudos, most comments, most bookmarks, most words, and fewest words.
expect this to be skewed towards d20 bc while i haven't written much for that in a while it is easily the biggest fandom i've written anything for
Most hits: The Disappearance of Adaine Abernant - dimension 20 (fantasy high), 2,637 hits
Most kudos: ^, 193 kudos
Most comments: Extra Credit - dimension 20 (fantasy high), 73 comments
Most bookmarks: ^, 54 bookmarks
Most words: Starlight - oklahoma!, currently sitting at 34,091 words.
Fewest words: The Symphony of Hadestown - hadesotwn, 191 words. my first posted fic ever! look at her, she's so tiny, lol. my next shortest clocks in at exactly 400 words longer; even when i'm trying to be brief i tend to go on a bit, haha
i shall tag @tragedyposting @theresa-of-liechtenstein @kingfisherkink @grasslandgirl and @druid-for-hire! idk who else of my mutuals really uses ao3 at all so i'll just leave it there lol
#sasha speaks#let the poet bless this round#tag game#tagged for me#malcolm-f-tucker#ty!#starlight. man#i stubbornly refuse to abandon this one despite not updating it in over a year#i think it somehow has even less of an audience than any of my niche ass opera shit but i don't even care#it is my pet project and i have the whole thing planned out meticulously still#just gotta actually write it someday. i would estimate its current length is about a third of the hypothetical final thing#making it easily my longest and most ambitious work ever. extra credit is my next longest which sits completed at about 31k#my current don g wip. well i am hoping it won't get that long but who knows. i'm just at the start of it all still#also. man remember when i wrote for an Actual Fandom? lol#i still really like my fantasy high fics tbh i'm really proud of how they turned out and how much people have responded to them#even if i've more or less moved on from d20 at this point#if junior year ever drops i will be all over that shit once again but until then i've mostly set it aside#maybe i'll get back to spelling bee though. bugs me that it's unfinished and i know it still has some kind of audience that wants to see
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feeling sad about camp today
#It's like a weird breakup#Where I'm not working here next year because I simply can't do it anymor#But I live here because my partner is a director here#And the exec director i like as a friend but she makes me want to pull my hair out when she's in any position of power#Like. This is what sent me to therapy! This is what caused the various Bad Brain Times last year!#I am only doing better because of therapy and Zoloft and the fact that I worked really really hard this last year#At saying no#And naming and holding my boundaries#And expressing my needs#But like. Good grief. As a liberal white woman.#Somebody's gotta stop the liberal white women from getting too much power#This place brought me so much joy but now I have to hold it at arms length and I hate hate hate that#Partner doesn't even know if they'll last here past next summer. They're mostly here just trying to make things better.#*screams into a pillow*
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Hello!
Will you ever possibly go back to write part 1 dio x reader fics? I remember back then I used to thrive off of reading your fics with part 1 dio, especially the one called “midnight meeting with a manticore” ( I think it was called like that). I know you said previously you’re not sure about writing more Jjba fics as you are focusing on something else. If not, I just wanted to let you know that your writing is phenomenal. Especially the way you manage to create an atmospheric feeling in your stories as well as being able to bring tension in random moments (such as in midnight meeting with a manticore). Overall, you are really an intelligent writer xoxo.
Hey, Anon! I kept this in my inbox/email for a *while* partly because I didn't know what to say but partly because I just wanted to keep it and read it for when I pulled myself out of a depressive slump at last (and thus be able to actually interpret it properly), so I apologize for the delay! I have a few Part 1 related fics on the backburner and have for aaages I'd love to go back to, but I would really have to rebuild my confidence with writing again to manage it I think? I actually had an alt rewrite/variation for Midnight Meetings with a Manticore in the early stages a few months back i think, but didn't commit... but part of me still wants to go all-in on self-indulgence and do it anyway hahaha in terms of x readers, I'd have to sit and look thru my files to even know what I had ideas for ngl... it's been *that* long I was focused on other things for a while but... really dragged myself down about writing in general so it's been very unproductive... but that doesn't mean I still don't want to write! It just is extremely difficult to bring myself to work on things atm. I hope I can warm back up to it though! There's a LOT of JJBA related stuff (not just Part 1) I have half-started I could go back to as well... heh >:) But I digress. I really, really appreciate the time you took to send me this - the compliment really made my day when I first saw it in my email and it still makes me so happy/encouraged to read now! The fact anyone remembers my fics or thinks they're notable in any capacity and enjoys them is jhgfdjfhd so flattering, tysm! <3
#anon ask#reply#the x reader stuff I'll admit has been more on the backburner in favour of OC stuff#but... I have even less confidence posting *that* so it's COMPLICATED#I gotta really learn to just write what I want to for the heck of it and just... have fun - that's what the MMwaM rewrite was supposed to b#...that and a flex because I def think I got better (in some ways) with writing since then... heh#but yeah! between that and I really really need to sit and rewatch or re-read the series again... sheesh#but i digress - again thank you so much for the extremely kind words Anon!#I said it before but it seriously made my day (and is doing so again right now as I'm replying to it) <3 <3#im def not closing the door on jojo fics just yet... i really do think I just gotta work up the courage/confidence again after all this tim#or fics in general - but that takes practice! which means I have to sit down and write again for the first time in a while ;u;#last thing I think I even wrote (at length) was some CoD fanfic stuff because I had a bit of a hyperfixation for a short time hahaha
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taking a break from cleaning because i need to 1) pace myself and 2) spread this out over 2 days so that it doesn't get a chance to get too dirty again before i gotta do final tidying and pickup before the chaos ensues, but i've gotten a surprising amount done for like 20 minutes of clean and 10 minutes of Silly Shit.
#the whiteboard to-do list has been a game changer for me in general#like i don't often have a lot of stuff to put on it#but when i do it's really good at keeping me on track/focused#without being too overwhelming to look at#(or while it might be overwhelming as soon as you knock something off if the list looks too cluttered you can just erase it)#(and then bam less shit on your list both physically and mentally)#my productivity hack is 1) erasable to-do list and 2) find a 15-20 minute video to pop on and work to#you don't gotta pay attention to it but finding something you enjoy listening to is a key#i don't wear headphones while working because i don't have wireless ones and i rarely wear pockets indoors because fuck that noise#so i just pop my phone in a central location to where i'm currently working and let her go#if i have to leave the room i can hear it going and i know i gotta go back for it when i'm done#you just work for the length of the video and assess where you're at when you're done#if you did extra stuff that wasn't on your to-do list#write them down and cross them off - or just pretend you've already wiped them off the list because you did them#and since it's not on your list *now* you don't have to worry about it#i used to work almost exclusively to markiplier's prop hunt playlist but i've expanded for shorter bursts#because that's what i put on if i think it's going to take all day (and then i get about 45 minutes in and go alright i finished)#anyway ymmv if you even got this far or were thinking about taking my advice#i'm just telling you what works for me#and of course it's really mostly onlyhelpful if i've already got the spoons for doing shit that day in the first place lmao#speaking of which i did figure out where the extra spoons came from earlier this week#bad news boys: it was the hormone cycle and now i'm bleedin' out me vag again#okay real sorry if you got this far on the tags thank god this is my own post lmao
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Yep I need to take a break, eat, drink, maybe get tipsy, watch some Lupin III Series 5 and chill for second
#irrelevant babble#...survival simulators are...#I don't regret the addon I have for this Standalone Mod for an old Trilogy...#but jesu fucking texas toast hell christ...#it really made me remember how ammo and mags are two separate systems that work together...#and not a whole lot of games actually like...separate that for immersion like this addon has it#the tedious unloading of drum and large mags is...jfc I forgot how tedious it is#*sigh* I have the discipline for what this game simulates#but also it feels so different from reality...and I haven't done it in real life in ages...#probably why the length of it feels so odd and off in a game#like it's interesting as a game mechanic#then to have each loaded mag as part of an outfit loadout#then reloading gets more complicated that most games lack#which in total makes it worth while in the sense of a survival sim. Just gotta practice the rhythm of it all....#and not frantically reload after 2 kills with 5 shots gone#I'm still learning the survival ropes of this game and like...it's fun but also REALLY FUCKING FRUSTRATING HOW IS THIS LIKE THIS JESU#Sisyphus laughs at my own self inflicted torment with this game
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on set - nicholas chavez
summary: you came to bring nicholas food on set and he looks too good you gotta help him get off or maybe you're just doing it for yourself.
warning: oral (m receiving), almost caught ig.
a/n: i need this man bad 😩
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i park my car and get the takeout my boyfriend asked me to get for him while he was on set.
i knocked on his trailer a few times then being met with him, Nicholas i can't lie he looked undeniably good.
a part of me feels bad because he's getting put into character for this role and i liked it. every bit of it.
the way his hair is styled, paired with the old money clothing. he was perfect. "you good?" not sure how long he was trying to get my attention but i just nod and walk into the trailer.
"you gonna be free tonight" i ask. Nicholas sits back down in the chair. "uh i don't think so" he checked the message he was given earlier this morning before coming to work
"yeah, no i won't be free why?" he asks giving me the perfect opportunity to perhaps get a quickie in before he has to actually get on screen again.
i walk up behind him, giving his shoulders a little massage then kissing his neck "I'd really liked if we could do something later" i try hinting to him that i wanted to fuck and im sure he caught on rather slowly than expected but he still did nonetheless.
"at work? what a needy girl" he coaxed. he took my hand in his and brung me infront of him.
nicholas manspreads his legs a bit so i can stand in between them "how bout you get that pretty little mouth to work then"
his cocky tone and the light pat on the side of my thigh; a signal for me to get on my knees sent my need for him through the roof.
i sunk to my knees not breaking eye contact. "this is what you wanted right?" he asked me with a smirk.
i give him a nod. but that wasn't enough for him he brings his thumb to my mouth dragging it across my lips "use your words baby" he cooed
"yeah- yes.. i want to do this." i fumble with his belt buckle, his eyes burning into my skull making me feel intimidated by his gaze.
i get the belt undone and pull his pants down, he lifts his hips a bit to help. "doin' so good already but-" he picks his phone up checking the time "-they're gonna need me in atleast 7 minutes" he places the phone back down.
his hard cock is freed from the confinement of his boxers. i put the head of his cock at my lips, kitty licking the tip before putting my mouth around him.
a low grunt is heard from him encouraging me to sink my mouth down further.
he grabs a handful of my hair and carelessly pushing my head down, i gag on his dick and im quick to remove my mouth off him "stoopp" i whine
"alright im sorry" he takes his hands away from my hair and puts them up surrendering.
a knock on the trailer door followed by a girl telling Nicholas he's needed on set. "5 more minutes!" he yells loud enough for the lady to hear from outside.
nicholas turns back to me and raises his eyebrows "see we don't have much time" he shrugs.
i wrap my mouth around him for the second time, already use to the length reaching the back of my throat.
he allows me to do whatever i please with my mouth; watching me take his length. i swallow around him and nearly choke when he accidentally jerks forward and thrusting down the back of my throat.
"shit.." nicholas drawls out throwing his head back at the feeling.
i change my pace, bobbing my head faster and using my hand to pump whatever i couldn't fit in my mouth. he whimpers softly, i looked up at him, his lips caught between his teeth, cheeks flushed and eyebrows knitted together while his eyes were screwed shut. perfect like i said before
"you're such a good girl f'me y'know that?" i hum in reaponse, the vibration around his cock made him moan loudly.
"sir are you ok?" the lady asked from outside; rattling the doorknob. "fine- just fine!" ,,give me one more minute please"
i swirl my tounge around his tip then using my hand to stroke him till he reaches his orgasm "m' close" he whimpers.
i put my mouth on the head of his cock and let him paint the back of my throat.
i wipe the sides of my mouth and rise from my knees while Nicholas pulls his underwear and pants back up. "lets finish up whenever i get home yeah?" he kisses my head and walks out the trailer.
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