#really goes to show a lot of you don't care about us outside of performative reblogs

[djuvlipen]

saw someone saying I derailed my own post about the Romani genocide and that I appropriated the holocaust by bringing up the sex trafficking of Romani women that's currently happening in Europe... ohh some of you are unredeemable fr

[chaifootsteps]

I think the thing that bugs me most about the 'Stella was always evil and you guys just ignored the signs!' crowd is that they don't seem to realize there's like, scales to how bad characters are?

Stella of season 1 is classist, shrieks a lot and is focused more on her own needs, but there's a difference between that and who she is in season 2 - a 2D abusive monster who in her own words only exists to torment Stolas

the Stella of season 1 didn't seem like a nice person but there was enough room to imagine the marriage had at least been civil once even if it had never been loving (the photo of them all at Loo Loo Land suggests she came along for Via's sake, she phrases it 'our bed' not 'my bed' when she's angry at him for the affair)

fans point to her hogging the covers and not wanting to get up as signs but those arguing about who should get up to comfort a young child and one partner stealing the covers isn't signs of pure evil. it's a sign that Stella is focused on her own needs re: the covers, but not immediately getting up to Via doesn't make her evil since the writers didn't bother showing it's not a pattern that she doesn't pull her weight in the parenting department. same with her not saying good morning to Via when she's older - it's not unreasonable that she's a bit distracted by her husband cheating on her in that moment.

speaking of, the writers caused themselves problems with opening on the fallout of the cheating, because it leads most fans to assume that what they're seeing isn't Stella's usual self and we'd expect to see what her usual demeanor is later, when she isn't in the middle of being furious with Stolas.

the closest s1 gets to showing Stella as the flat baddie she'd become in s2 is her ordering the hit on Stolas, but again the writers fumbled the bag because we don't know if her doing that is unusual for them being in Hell or not. Were we really supposed to think Stella is uniquely bad in s1 when other characters yell at each other just as much as she yells at Stolas (Blitzo, Loona, even Moxxie sometimes) and other characters perform hits and act like attempted murder is nbd (IMP)?

Same with the lack of worldbuilding around how nobility works - fans claim she just cares Stolas slept with an imp 'like a plebian' but then the rest of the show is so wishywashy about whether it matters dating outside one's own social class that it comes off like she was just given this prejudice so she can look uniquely worse (even though Stolas is just as classist, just in a different more objectifying/fetishizing way)

Exactly. Seasons 1 Stella wasn't a pleasant person, but she still shared a bed with Stolas and was upset that he cheated on her in that bed specifically, used to go with Stolas and Via to Loo Loo Land, and the portrait of them together sees her looking almost happy. Stolas starts to say "We weren't in love," showing awareness of the root of the problem, that neither of them wanted this. All of that goes out the window with S2, where we're meant to believe Stella was evil incarnate since she was a toddler and Stolas is God's saddest victim.

Not that it would have saved her either way. In this fandom's mind, "raises voice to Stolas" and "a violent, irredeemable person who deserves humiliation and death" are synonymous.

[unb1nding-t-b0y]

Transphobia/ micro aggression idk story cuz I see a lot of posts talking about transandrophobia but not as many stories about experiencing it. (Maybe it's just my Tumblr algorithm but regardless posting will hopefully help that too)

Anyways I'm 21 recently started transitioning and I've been performing at a drag place for a little bit. This elder queen (I don't even remember her name I think she was trans but with drag queens that have spent their lives In Drag it can be difficult to tell even when you hear them talk about themselves because many of these people kinda use male and female names pronouns etc interchangeably etc. I'll use she -her pronouns in the story because I'd rather not accidentally misgender a trans women and ik she doesn't care about being she/hered even if she is a cis gay) Anyways she asks bout me and I tell her my name, pronouns, and identity as one does in queer spaces. Upon hearing I was a trans masc she immediately feels the need to tell me the story of the time she *gasp* almost slept with a trans man. The story goes like this.

Shes at a drag night in some bar and a drag king approaches her and they hit it off. Shes into him and vice versa. They ditch the bar and make out in a car somewhere and when it's getting hot and heavy the dude pulls his strap out and tells her he wants to fuck her. All standard shit. But she goes on and on about how surprised and disgusted she was at both the fact that she's been fooling round with a "woman" and how off-putting it was to even suggest a BOTTOM get fucked with a dildo. She picks up. A. Drag. King. And gets surprised when he's trans. If a lesbian went to a drag night and picked up a trans woman and reacted in the same way people would call her an idiot for not bothering to have the critical thinking skills to consider that maybe that person performing gender up there is performing a different gender than they were assigned at birth. (Side note if you're gonna pick someone up without knowing anything about them you can't be mad about surprises. I swing both ways so a surprise is just fine for me but if you have a severe genital preference maybe fucking ask people before you're making out with them and wanting to fuck. Sorry you hate dildos but you should have checked, and honestly even if it's a cis dude you should at least try to verify that they get tested + use protection etc

Unfortunately the majority of drag kings I've run into have been CIS men. The place I'm in is very supportive and kind to cis men doing bare minimum performances (no choreography, no makeup, usually the dude just takes his shirt off at some point and that alone is enough to be praiseworthy. Or he wears a suit stands around and barely lip-syncs ) whereas drag kings that aren't cis or arent men are more often than not treated as outsiders.

The story also cemented what I was afraid of that ultimately I was viewed as an invader of the space. That for some reason cis queens and cis kings are more acceptable in a space that was pioneered by trans women and drag queens. The trans drag shows Ive gone to haven't had any trans men in them unless they are open call. It's hurtful it's alienating and it's frustrating. I AM STILL TRANS. IF YOUR TRANS INCLUSIVE SPACE ISNT INCLUSIVE OF ME ITS NOT INCLUSIVE. It's frustrating that as a trans man when I enter "trans friendly gay bars" I'm often treated like an annoying presence getting in the way of everyone else's dicks only zone. Sorry I don't have a cock but that shouldn't be a requirement to occupy these spaces and you can't call yourself trans inclusive when you really mean just cis gays and trans girls. At the time I couldn't really articulate how fucked up what she said was so I just kinda said some non offensive topic change and moved on but like most of the other queens ignored or avoided me and that moment I figured out why I always felt like the odd one out. Because I was.

[majaloveschris]

Hi Maja, I definitely feel the same way everything is different in this fandom, there was a time when it was fun talking about Chris or even gossip about him or his projects but now it's crazy, people attacking and insulting each other, critizing with hatred it's just awful. But I must admit what bothers me the most is how Chris has changed and not in a good way and it's not because he's married Alba whether people believe it's real or not, it feels like the person he showed over the years was fake and never really existed, he stopped being that man who seemed so down to earth, to care about important issues, now he's like every man in Hollywood so frivolous and apathetic, anyways I wanna say thank you for always being respectful.

It is awful, and it is sad to see that some people can't even express their opinions because others will immediately attack them. None of us knows for sure what goes behind the scenes, and those who say they do (if they don't have any evidence) are, in my opinion, lying about it. I think we all should be capable of having normal conversations about this situation, even if we don't see eye to eye. I think some people take this whole thing way too "seriously," but we have to acknowledge that, after all, the nature of their relationship doesn't have that huge an effect on our lives. Would it be a bummer if they were truly married? Considering Alba and her friends' behavior, yes, it would be. But it won't be the end of the world. We all have very real lives outside of this, and I know a lot of people really loved and respected him, and he was a safe place for a lot of us, but whatever this whole thing turns out to be, life goes on and we have to accept it.

I get what you say, and it definitely feels like there was a huge shift. He isn't that active anymore; he doesn't tweet or post on Instagram, he doesn't really interact with fans, and he doesn't seem to really care about ASP anymore, at least not on the level he used to. However, I kind of get him. While getting involved and getting "together" with Alba was a decision he made, I think we can be all honest here and say that some people take this whole thing too far. I don't like her, and I don't like the whole situation, but I think that what some people do is way too much. I get if people are disappointed; I get if they want to call them out; however, there is a place and a way to do that. Commenting under Jinx's posts or the shelter video is not the place, and calling him a pedofile and a nazi or bullying him because of his appearance is not the way it should be done. If he participates in an ASP video, he is a hypocrite; if he doesn't, he is performative. In a word, for some people, no matter what he does, he is the bad guy. So we can all understand, on some level, that he probably thinks that doing nothing is the best strategy now.

I still don't think that the past decades were a lie. I think it would be impossible for someone to play a role for 20+ years and 24/7. I hope one day we will see the old Chris again.

[bwbawa]

hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out

i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!

also please reblog for reach if you want to, thank you

ts bellow the cut :]

- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)

- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth

- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.

- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes

- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)

- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain

- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling

- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little

- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )

- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests

- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )

- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet

- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )

- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol

- bad perception of time

- got upset when things didn't go my way

- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces

loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly

- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.

- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.

related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.

- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.

- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.

- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?

-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child

- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew

- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)

- i think i had a specific routine of morning

- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized

- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do

- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat

- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.

- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times

- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)

-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally

- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.

i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing

just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.

[hotarutranslations]

Toki wo Koe Sora wo Koe no #Da-nce

Evening

Typhoon🌀

A lot has been affected but, How are things around everyone

For me I just, Go outside within the timing of it not raining, Within the weather forecast, and I went out without an umbrella😳🌂

Everyone please take care of yourself

If you're spending your time at home.. by all means,

Da-nce

Please watch😌🤍

With the dances posted this time, I really want you to watch.. Toki wo Koe Sora wo Koe!

I danced in in the intro and interlude, with Sayashi-san and Fukumura-san, I hope that the next girl who learns it, will really, really watch it😂🫶🏻

Even when you bend your knees a bit to lower your center of gravity, And the parts like, Meeting you in this world.. I'm very conscious of having a flat back

Don't arch or bend your back, The posture is of a flat back..

Its kinda! That posture isn't good to do all the time, I looked it up and found a case on it! lol

Its often used in dance, a flat back

I wonder if being conscious of it is the secret to looking beautiful..🫣🫣

Since we're barefoot in the MV..

I was more conscious of my feet😌🤍

With the toes, moreso feeling the ground with your big toe, and the compass-like movement in the outro? It looks very beautiful to draw the circle

Since I haven't properly learned ballet, Its my..image of it but,

When the big toe touches the ground, I think its beautiful as the knees face forward✍🏻

Turning your foot so all of your toes are on the ground, Do your knees turn outward? Do you understand? Did you try it now?

lol

I like thinking about beautiful things like that😌🤍

For those that are into ballet and jazz, you may say its too basic and not something you think about!?

Today, Please definite watch in particular,

Toki wo Koe Sora wo Koe🌎✨

I'll also watch it again..

Harami-chan no Harami Fan Radio♪

Ishida Ayumi and Sakurai Rio Got to visit as guests🤍

Play▶️List

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺Otoboke POPS

TokyoMX August 17th (Sat) 9:30~10:00PM Ishida, Sakurai, Yumigeta are appearing💙🤎❤️

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko" Ishida Ayumi Goes~! I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

🪩Hello! Project 2024 Summer ALL OF US "Vega" "Altair" From July 13th~September 1st Traveling To 7 Cities Nationwide All Hello! Project groups are performing🔥

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

Also,

Thank you very much, Talking about singles and albums, and putting each into words!

Really, thank you very much!

I may have underestimated, Emotions towards it…⚠️

I was like wao~~ to hear that, there were so many feelings towards me

lol

I had a lot of interviews yesterday, Also radio and shows, As I've said at various places in Miyagi, I plan to enjoy, this period of time the most since announcing my graduation,

I guess I'm the one who won't let that not happen🕺

For my birthday this year, Alrighttt I'm the birthday girlllll🕺🕺 I spent it saying things like that←

I'm sure I would certainly be the first to do thattt🕺 It seems funnn🕺

Everyone, please look forward to…my attitude?

see you ayumin <3 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12863896339.html

[alarrytale]

I’ve been studying to become a therapist and one of the first things I’ve been told is that therapy doesn’t work for everyone and isn’t necessarily a cure for someone. Louis never said he opposed therapy. It sounded like it doesn’t work for him. He did take his sister to therapy and rehab, even took her to Egypt for intensive rehab. He also paid for therapy and rehab for that xfactor contestant when he was one of the judges. Lottie has made it clear that therapy helps her and that’s great but again it’s not for everyone. Louis is often in touch with his emotions openly and has teared up many times while performing on stage so that’s not apart of a lad image at all if we’re going to stereotype. He’s also said in Interviews he’s not afraid to cry. Louis is very emotionally expressive when he sings Saturdays also. I was happy to see he included that song during his longer set. Louis must really love that song or has formed an attachment to it because he really lets it all out during singing that song especially. I noticed he does have some of his previous little mannerisms peeking thru more and more these days too. I saw his popped hip make an appearance a few times in these performances recently. Made me smile that he was feeling at least a little more relaxed. It’s good to keep in mind though that we really don’t know Louis. We don’t know how he’s feeling or handling his grief & trauma, nor should we as fans. He could be trying therapy now for all we know. We don’t know how often he drinks outside of the public eye either. So to say he’s handling his grief thru drinking, etc seems like it’s just not our place as outsiders to judge. I do remember Louis losing a lot of weight during the time he must’ve learned his mom was ill til her passing so that was very visible at the time. Dangerously skinny from a few pics. If I remember correctly they even wrote an article about his thin appearance and fans concerns for him. I think Louis is one to see the glass 1/2 full always but in reading some previous interviews and even the article with Lottie yesterday I got the sense that he feels the need to take care of others, just as Lottie does. Emotionally that’s a heavy weight to bear, but I think the optimism thought process does keep him on more of an even keel.

Hi, anon!

I hope Louis at least has tried therapy, before deciding it's not for him. Or that he goes from time to time. I think it should be mandatory for people in the spotlight, people who went from rags to riches, closeted celebrities and people who worked under SC to get help dealing with the pressure, the supression of yourself, the mistreament and having to deal with a shitty, corrupt industry who boycotts you.

I personally think Louis would greatly benefit from therapy. He's lost his mother figure, who he used to tell everything, he heavily relied on his vocal coach (Helene) as a life coach and motivator, and as a confidence supplier. He's got a friend clinging to him wherever he goes and acts as a comfort goat to him. I have never seen anyone more in need of therapy actually. He should be getting professional help. I'm pretty sure Oli's advice to Louis would be to blaze up to forget and repress stuff more. He can't move on until he deals with his issues. He's been pretty stagnant for years now. He's still super nervous before shows. He still relies on liquid curage to do his job, and his stoner brain is affecting his performance. He also acts uncaring about his health and appearance at times and that's concerning.

I don't care what anyone says, Louis would benefit from therapy. He needs to be told he's not responsible for his siblings, he needs to be told he's good enough and make a plan to be less reliant on his bad coping mechanisms and get some healthier ones. He needs to want to do this for himself though, and it shouldn't be forced, but he would benefit from it, i'm sure. It won't fix everything, but he needs to start somewhere.

I also think it's important to distinguish between having an alcohol issue that's born out of surpressed emotions due to trauma vs. not having an issue, but you’re promoting alcohol as something cool to your fanbase and using it to enforce an image. If it's the first he's not to be judged, i just want him to get help. If it's the second, then i take issue with that. If it's the first, masked as the second, then that's enraging and i blame his team. Regardless if it's the first or second option he's promoting it, even if it's unintentional, and i'm just not down with that. I'm not liking what i'm seeing.

[vro0m]

Sorry if you don't really care about this, but I'm a big Lando/McLaren fan and think McLaren manage him in all aspects just fine, and probably show more care for him and patience with him than a lot of teams would with that "ripping himself to shreds after every race that doesn't go to plan" mentality.

McLaren actually have tried to help him with that mental aspect of it several times. Andrea has talked about how they've added a therapist to their traveling team, both for their drivers or for any of their traveling staff to talk to if needed. Beyond that, I know last year — when it really was Lando screwing up in quali more so than a team error thing — Andrea Stella mentioned several times how he was going to discuss this with Lando and see if a sports psychologist would be something he should consider and actually made quite a few encouraging comments in the media about how he didn't need to torture himself over the mistakes or what ifs, they just needed to work together as a team to figure out how to avoid those errors in the future.

And coincidentally enough, in Lando's newest Beyond the Grid podcast, he himself discusses how this has been his preferred method of coping with tough race results, and he even goes as far to accredit that mentality to WHY he got into Formula 1 and is basically like "So why would I change it now?" He mentions trying other things to cope with race results, and none of it being quite as effective as his whole beat-himself-up-over it, debrief with the team to learn what he/they can do better next time, and then let the anger/disappointment/frustration go.

He's actually talked before about how Sochi impacted his mental health and how he did actually attend therapy for a while after it, essentially because he did his whole "beat-himself-up-over it, debrief with the team to learn what he/they can do better next time" but couldn't quite reach the letting the emotions of that race go. And that's definitely not something he shies away from sharing or talking about. He is very outspoken about the mental health care he has received when he's felt he needed it.

I'm not saying it's a healthy way of coping with disappointment necessarily, but McLaren have tried to intervene when it's become too severe. It's mostly just the fact that Lando doesn't seem to want to change or conceal this side of himself; he actually seems to think if makes him perform better at following races. I'm guessing he's told the team as much as well, because I know there was a race late last year or early this year where Andrea was yet again asked about it and basically gave a similar answer to Lando - "that's just his process, he'll be fine and he'll bounce back stronger next time" type answer. McLaren definitely have helped him with the mental side of things though, really going all the way back to his rookie year if you listen to some of his early 2021 interviews about mental health.

Honestly it's good to know! I like that they're taking it seriously, and that he feels like he can talk about it openly.

I personally hope it's not as intense as it looks like from the outside because I have a hard time believing it can be worth it if it is but how would i know, you know?

Obviously none of us know him or how any of it actually is IRL so. Yeah.

[the-everqueen]

001: Sandman - A random thought

002: Rose/Corinthian

003: Rose Walker

sandman - a random thought if the corinthian has multiple apartments, does he hire cleaners? or is there like, dreaming magic that keeps the places dust-free? or does the corinthian have a secret assigned cleaning day? (imagine him in an apron and rubber gloves scrubbing the kitchen.)

send me a ship - rose/corinthian when i started shipping it: i think it was after reading heavy lies the crown? that fic is just...mm. delicious.

my thoughts: coco/rose plays with so many themes i find fun. what does it mean to be a person. what do you do after a narrative has ended but you still have to live. what is the difference between devotion and love. can you ever truly love god or is that relationship fundamentally fucked. what if god was also just the girl whose brother you saved and she thought you were some kind of potential guard dog. what if god held your leash and you liked it. what if you bit the hand that feeds you and it still came back for pets.

what makes me happy about them: the thing is, i think rose fundamentally understands the corinthian as a person, in a way that dream never will, because dream knows what he really is was made to be. meanwhile the corinthian understands rose as both human and Endless (because that's his whole function). they get each other. also i'm a diehard believer in giving the corinthian to one of sandman's female characters, because frankly anyone is going to be better at handling him than dream once coco is outside the realm of "favorite" and it leads to Fun Shenanigans.

what makes me sad about them: the thing i'm grappling with in the la guard dog sequel is that, while they get each other, i'm not sure they can...fix each other. like, none of us can really "fix" each other, and both of them have deep-running trauma that goes beyond the other's capacity to heal. there's a part of me that could see a bad ending au where essentially the corinthian makes rose Worse, whatever that might look like. also, at least in canon, that they don't talk again before dream unmakes the corinthian. what does rose think about him, really, in the end? it feels very much like he's Trying with her, even if that's tangled up in his attempts to overthrow dream and save his own life, and even if inherently it's performative on some level.

things done in fanfic that annoy me: a lot of the wider fandom treats rose like a kid. which feels unfair, given that she's a) in her twenties, so a legal adult, and b) shouldering adult responsibilities plenty of her peers don't have to worry about. [insert rant about how Black girls aren't allowed to have childhoods but are also not seen as capable once they're adults.] most coco/rose people are already thinking about rose as a consenting adult and someone with very real trauma, but i guess the other thing would be it's easy to forget the corinthian is an inherently hungry thing.

things i look for in fanfic: ...fics of them at all? authors grappling with categorization of "thingness"? the absence of hob as some kind of uncle figure to the walkers.

my kinks: debates about personhood. pain play. unequal power dynamics. (this is a whole bhol characters thing, i think i just want someone to tie up that white dude.)

who i'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other: again, too poly for this question to ever apply to me. i'd like to see more Rose ships in general.

my happily ever after for them: well, that's just the la guard dog au.

give me a character - rose walker how i feel about this character: big. i care about her. i want to hold her in my arms. i want to bite anyone who looks at her as just a prop for morpheus. tv!rose is SO fucking interesting, the show fleshed out so much of her character in relation to her positioning as a young Black woman, and that is DELIGHTFUL, and i want more people to engage with her.

all the people i ship romantically with this character: obvs i'm writing coco/rose. there's a whole other unwritten thing that is cori/matt/rose as a poly triad. rose/calliope has Potential. rose/barbie, of course, is adorable.

my non-romantic otp for this character: i think rose and lucienne could be such good friends. another storyteller for the librarian??

my unpopular opinion about this character: rose is a lot less naive than people think she is. she's young, yes, but she's experienced, she's intelligent, and she knows her values.

one thing i wish would happen/had happened in canon: i hope we see more of rose in subsequent seasons! she features as a recurring character in the comix. i do wish comix rose had been more nuanced as a character - she's so much the coming-of-age archetype that she's basically not really a person anymore.

my otp/ot3: apparently i am a coco/rose truther. (let the everywoman fuck the eyeball eating nightmare!) but mostly i'd like more people to engage with rose as a subject in general, rather than relegating her to the sidelines or ignoring her altogether.

[rosysugarr]

Just watched genloss with the bff, start to finish. The ending still makes me want to throw a thousand fits in a row and Kathleen was extremely impressed with all of part three, but just. Did not get into parts one and two at all. Well, that's a lie-- she liked the Puzzler and thought folks in that part had good acting. But watching it with her highlighted something about the genloss experience to me? Which is that it plays very differently to an audience of people who regularly watch streams than it does to people who regularly watch normal scripted media.

Like. Kathleen had a lot of trouble with certain parts that I had no issue with, and I think it goes back to our expectations being incredibly different due to the difference in our media consumption? Like she just... did not care for the first part at all, while I liked it, but the difference is that it FEELS like a stream. Like. I'm used to those camera angles and tropes and performance styles while she isn't.

I'm not really going anywhere in particular with this, I just think it's really interesting that genloss hits so differently depending on whether you primarily watch streams or more mainstream scripted media like TV or movies.

ALSO. I wanna point out in my second full viewing, I really appreciate how the show gradually opens up visually-- like we start with the tightly controlled and limited camerawork of the cabin, generally sticking to full shots of the room from only one angle, then move up to a series of real rooms in day two, culminating in the wide open space of the mall in day three, with fully cinematic camerawork and performances. Kathleen compared it to the way a show looks in the pilot compared to how it looks in the final season. And I will say, the first stream does benefit massively from a rewatch. Like. I liked it way more on my second viewing. I didn't hate it the first time around, of course, but I was a little put off by how small and cheap it felt. Rewatching it after having the illusion of it broken on purpose in the finale, however, made even the most goofy parts make my skin crawl, because the sense of scale changed completely. You Know that isn't the whole world they inhabit, or even a proper part of it... but they don't. You're watching ants in an ant farm who fully believe they're outside free to roam, clueless to their actual situation. It made me feel so uncomfortable the whole time.

[little-mouse-adventures]

All this OC talk… now you’ve got me curious- tell me a little bit about your OCs, if you would like!

:3

the thing is. the OC's that have been rattling around in my brain for like... five months? are NOT part of the fic I am 3/4 of the way through writing. So that's been fun.

But they won't get out of my head, and I like them a lot, so I'm gonna natter about them. (They also show up in this fic, and I keep thinking I might expand on that... I also have another fic idea I might put them in, because they're my OC's and I can put them in any world I want, but their backstories would be pretty much unchanged).

uh. this got long, so things are under the cut.

Ji-hun (Jimmy) Kim: Mid-40's, Korean-Canadian entrepreneur. Born the second son and third of four children to the leader of a Canadian based Korean crime family. He cut ties with his family in his late 20's and basically started his own little criminal empire. He quit that a few years later after his adopted sister Delaney nearly died from his bullshit and he nearly died because she wasn't there to protect him, and he went mostly legitimate into the fashion industry. He started going by Jimmy at that time, with only a very, very small number of people allowed to call him by his given name.

He puts on a pretty non-threatening and almost campy public persona. In reality, he's a highly intelligent and shrewd businessman and learned long ago that being a flashy, non-threatening person allowed him to get in close for Hello hugs and walk away with the other person's watch, wallet, and phone, which he can then mine for information to use later. Mainly focuses on fashion, though splits his time between high fashion and couture collections and practical wear for mundane combat - clothes that look casual and normal, but are actually tailored to carry multiple weapons or protect from bullets or knives.

Generally pretty easy-going, but he does have a temper, and is willing to hold grudges. He doesn't let them get in the way of work, but he certainly doesn't forget any wrongs against him or those he cares about, which is mostly just like two people total. Has majority stakeholder interest in a few ventures outside of fashion, a few electronic parts manufacturing companies, owns and operates a few exclusive clubs, that kind of thing. He goes a bit squirrely if he's bored, which can happen easily. He always needs a project, whether that's designing a new dress or pouring over tech magazines to figure out which microchip manufacturer to invest in next.

Delaney Winters: Early 40's, Jimmy's adopted sister and bodyguard/ personal assistant. She met Ji-hun when she was twelve and her father sold her to Ji-hun's mother to be trained as an escort/ intel agent to pay for his gambling debts to the crime family. She learned the skills, but was a bit too scrappy for the graceful, accomplished look the crime family wanted in their people, so she started training as a fighter. Ji-hun was in training at the same time - his mother didn't care for that as she wanted him to take on the medic role for the family, but he never really got along with his mother. He and Delaney got along like a house on fire and quickly became inseparable, so they were partnered together. It also worked well as cover: each had a "date" for fancy events where they would attend to perform assignments for the family from gathering information, committing heists, or enacting assassinations. This led to a lot of rumours about Del and Jimmy being romantically involved - they absolutely are not, but they don't do much to discourage the rumours.

Del is nearly always in high heels, and never (unless she's completely relaxed at home, and even then it's iffy) has her hair down. It's a dangerous game, to have long hair in a world where it can get caught or pulled in a fight or left behind as evidence, but she likes it anyways so keeps it.

She has less of a temper than her brother, and is more willing to forgive people. She's also willing to negotiate more, which, partnered with her love of old-fashiond Colt single action army revolvers, earned herself the nickname The Peacemaker. Likes dancing and daisies and houseplants - she sometimes wants a simple, normal life, but worries that it would drive her crazy with boredom. So for now, she's fine running around the globe as the bodyguard/ PA for her brother. She can be very charming when she wants to be, but mostly plays the straight man to her brother's goofball persona, and can be sharp-tongued and sarcastic. She's loyal to a fault - literally.

Marcus: Haven't sorted out his last name yet, but he's Ji-hun's love interest and eventual husband. Mid to late 40's. He's a chef, and runs a few high-end restaurants and does some catering, but he's just like... a normal dude. No criminal ties, no dangerous past. The worst thing on his background check is that he had a couple DUI's and speeding tickets in his early 20's. Very calm personality, almost surfer-dude-esque. Keeps his hair long (for a dude, it mostly hits his shoulders), and enjoys experimenting with different recipes. Eventually he and Ji-hun adopt two kids together and he is hands-down the less stressed parent - probably because he's the only one who had an actual decent upbringing lol.

[howsitduud]

Mission: Impossible 3 + 4 Review

Mission Impossible 3 (2006): Directed by JJ Abrams

They weren't lying, there is a lot of running in this movie, but I won't lie, Tom Cruise is real good at it. As for the movie itself, I'd say that this is the first great movie in the franchise, but it's not without its problems. The beginning really doesn't leave a good impression, with Ethan getting married to a woman who never gets a single chance to show any personality and the action scenes being quick-cut bullshit in the dark so we never get a single chance to see anything. I honestly think that the first action scene is worse than any action scene from the second movie, which is saying a lot. But once Ethan goes on that mission to kidnap Philip Seymour Hoffman, it's smooth sailing. I was trying to see how far I could go without mentioning him, but his character, Davian, is the best part of the movie and the best villain in the franchise so far. He's so effortlessly intimidating and him kidnapping Julia means that Ethan now has more personal stake in this mission outside of just the cause or his job or a random woman he barely knows. I said that she's not a great character on her own, but I cared about Ethan getting Julia back by the end of the movie, and that's made better by the fact that this is by far the best Tom Cruise performance I've seen in my life. He plays vengeful sorrow so well I thought I might as well join Scientology if it means I become THAT good of an actor (spoilers: I won't). Oh, and the action is good from there because it includes some great humor and character moments. Probably my favorite moment is in the final act where SPOILERS: Ethan shows Julia how to use a gun and protect herself while he short-circuits his brain. It's a surprisingly wholesome moment and the bit where he says "I love you" before he dies is really nice, too. Overall, this movie is really good. Not amazing or anything, but I would definitely watch it again someday, which is more than I could say for both previous movies.

Final Score: 7/10

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2011) Directed by Brad Bird

Looks like we're finally getting to the good shit, because Ghost Protocol has some kickass action scenes. Brad Bird is a master at this kind of stuff, and he really got to flex with this movie. There's too many cool sequences to count, like the infiltration into the Kremlin, the climb up the Burj Khalifa, the chase in the sandstorm, the final fight in the car lot, all of the action scenes have such a feeling of scale and spectacle, compounded by the amazing music, cinematography and editing. On top of that, the actual story of this movie is really solid, giving Ethan Hunt and his team no way of getting backup or help from anyone they can trust and dangling the threat of nuclear warfare over their heads is a great way of upping the stakes from the last 3 movies, and I'm really interested in what they do next movie. This kinda gave me vibes to the last act of Edge of Tomorrow with how stacked the odds were against them. With that being said, I do have a major problem with the actual dialogue. The plot is rock-solid, and some characters are good. Ethan is as charismatic as ever, Bogdon and Benji are nice additions to the field, and Hendricks is played by the best villain from John Wick which is based, but I can't say I really care about any other character. Jane is kind of a nothing character, which sucks because there's plenty they could've done with her character and her revenge quest, and I don't need to tell you that replacing Luther with Jeremy fucking Renner is a downgrade in every way. Plus, there's a bunch of jokes in this movie that feels like "MCU-style humor," where the characters joke around in a serious situation in the most forced ways possible. It works for the MCU (most of the time), not so much here. Still, this movie fucking rules and I can't wait to watch the next movie later tonight.

Final Score: 8/10

[nyasialiveshere]

These longpost are special to me but i'm very opinionated but polite..will put little bits of info for clarification ==Mini Exo fandom analysis pt 1

lmao at people who actually thought the exo vocalists were at Zayn's caliber. Even Zayn "Bradford" Malik

has to work hard to maintain his level of talent, touring is no joke and wears your vocals out that being said you should be able to get a clear grasp on somebody's best and their average

I used zayn cause honestly I am trying to be fair and use a modern example and not people way back in the day. Also I remember this

jk jk. Girl I've never fan voted in my entire life, but I remember this happening though.

But using 1d and using the same standards some Exo supporters use when talking to fans of other kpop group

: do you really think people who aren't true artists of the craft can actually outdo people who can sing a soulful rnb song in their sleep? No, way too much association game being played. Just because s.m entertainment got a leg up from Quincy Jones

and got a bunch of his songwriters and associates and producers

(no this literally isn't even half of it lmao)

to help exo make 'black music'. "Popular music' "We can rock with this music'

Don't mean they are on that level like that. Please note the people that own this music and who own a lot of the music s.m used they all in some way go back to uptown

or motown

In some way, shape or form, because the black music industry was kept separate from the white for a long time, there's a very small crew and circle of people involved in the black music scene. A lot of it has merged into sub labels of larger companies like Universal or Sony. A lot of these songwriters of pretty much indentured and must continue to churn out these 'hits' and it doesn't necessarily matter where in the world it goes so long as it's sold.

They are classically trained singers and can do just as much as a classically trained singer around the world can. But they aren't blowing anyone outside of the average chaebol kid who don't even really care about performing out of the water. S.m taught them well but not nearly well enough for the ego their fans have developed.

Smtown entertainment was built off the foundation of motown, to be the korean version of motown. It's talent is mediocre compared to the original talent the company was based off of, but I suppose compared to the copy of a copy of a copy that exists in Kpop now it's something.

Personally they struggle to outdo Japanese acts artistically as well. In their heyday they created their own genres so unique japanese energy in and of itself was a movement, so I don't understand the superiority.

To be fair Japanese entertainment was on one back in the day from the 80s to early 2000s they ruled even American pop culture

Japan had a longer history with allowing it's citizens and artists freedom of expression, they were able to show out for a good while and gain respect slowly but surely in the international arts realm.

Korea tried to make up for decades of artistic freedom in like a single decade. They are still very rigid with their approach and of course adhere to the strict controlling method of the idol culture model, set by Japan who honestly was way loser even back in the day and even more now.

They critiqued obsessed idol fans back in the day with movies like perfect blue. Of course it still happened but trust when the modern culture shames something and the rest of the world is watching it does effect how people act. Imagine if their was an Hbo show that was about the kpop industry and obsessed kpop fans it definitely would make people tone down. People act differently when people really know what's going on in a situation.

Perfect blue is a mirror to fan culture at it's roots. It's fanatical, a bit unhinged but it's socially acceptable all the same.

A film I believe is necessary for anyone stuck in the idol worship process. It's 'these people don't know you' but artsy.

Even Lee Soo man sent Boa to japan to solidify her career back in the day.

They've had their gender wars, yaoi shotacon era, weird asf eras, religious guilt era, smooth jazz, blues, rap, kawaii, wannabe hood, what's our place in the universe era etc etc as a culture as a society. So their idol industry had a chance to grow slowly, rise up and simmer down naturally. Whereas Kpop just kind of had 20 or so years to boom and the artists have little more growth and development as a disney channel show after 3 seasons.

Boa of course went with the techno chic style that ruled Japan in the early 90s and she did very well.

America however is an entirely different beast, the talent in america is on a different level. Hybrid vigour going 1...2

but that's just a theory. Point is America's a different playground

(I was seven when I first watched her mv on mtv)

this is why most kpop gets their sound from abroad

(Boa's debut single eat you up was made by european producers I guess they were going for a more fusion Backstreet boys style american debut but there is a remix with Flo Rida)

(I may do a breakdown on this later, but it's just the way sm approached the whole thing. They wanted to create an urbanized Boa. That's such a dumb way to go about it. No concern for what actually fit her. That's sm's biggest mistake not letting their artists make their own decisions and be their own people. I watched an interview of her in La back in 2008/9 and she seemed like she was being shuffled around. This producer to that producer, now having to just become a whole new person. It didn't fit. Particularly because she wasn't american, it's not second nature or something she was at all used to.)

For s.m the superiority must be because the korean government is backing them up so they know they cannot fail. Now they feel superior to all of other asian talent and many go to korea to have a chance at becoming globally famous. That's fine.

Even fans of vocal deities don't go around disrespecting everyone like their fans do. Just because they made a point to imitate black singers and use their demos early in their career don't mean they are more elite than anybody else. I never see adele fans do this, it's giving insecurity. You don't have to keep repeating something everybody knows. I feel like as more time goes on the lack of originality is making their remakes more forgettable.

To use a comparison again, in one direction it was almost annoying how obsessed they were about songwriting, they were always in the studio trying to out do one another with the songs they made. Back in the day I thought it was pointless and I felt like Exo was more fun because they focused more on their bond and spending time together.

Now that I'm older it's woven all throughout the music that they had personal deep connections to what they were writing. This is why there are performances where the lyrics actually emotionally effect them, life, death, relationships, breakups, things the fans knew about things we didn't. That's what makes an artist.

Apparently a few members had writing credits on Kokobop and I read about what they said concerning it,

I will say that the group has added to a lot of their songs but I don't believe the craft for songwriting and composing becomes them. In Kpop I noticed many songs created lack a certain spark of life and personal touch

The fine details are also important, this isn't an exposing of the group simply clarification on things that aren't delved into. Many of the songs are remade and have a previous demo.

Knowing the background of the songwriting trio the stereotypes creating hits like Justin Bieber's somebody to love, Tomboy by Destiny Rodgers, Rocketeer by Far East Movement, they have quite a track record and their work is well known. I believe the average fan would give all the credit to Chanyeol because he 'worked on it'.

A very easy thing to find out but when people see an Exo members name on it many ignore anything else about it.

Especially with how they've regarded the black community in general. You truly wouldn't know the impact the black music industry had on kpop or sm unless you were american and it was just obvious to you already, or you researched and figured it out.

I bring this up to say the main compliment I see regarding exo's superior vocals is when members sing high notes and whatnot, which is fine. I love all types of vocals some of my favorite bands of all time is the fray and onerepublic, I purposely mention them because they are grown people music and not for immature 'stans' I hate whenever I bring up an artist that stan culture doesn't like and people bring up streams or who they dated as a drag. It's so immature and petty. So I use them because their music and vocals are not pass out but they are people who have mastered their own voice. It's unique, soulful and not trying to be anybody else. Personally to me this is when I know someone is a true master of their craft whenever they put their soul into their music when they sing.

In my personal opinion I always felt like I couldn't talk years ago, there was no room for oh yeah this artist kind of sings a bit better--if they didn't have stats, weren't popular it didn't matter. Yet, when people in the kpop fandom talked about their favorite artist they were top tier best in the industry and they had the numbers to prove it.

Now years later because the numbers aren't as good as people in the fandom may want it to be; they put other groups or artists down because they aren't real 'singers'. Then show clips of what is love/what if or some other obvious 90s rnb demo or a 90s japanese style pompeii style epic .

I just rarely see commentary about the obvious influences that were used to create the group that Exo's mythos/style/clothing and setup were based off of.

Which they can do because their leader/owner made friends with the right people and opened up a world of connections for them. Because many other groups have been cancelled for jacking theme's and concepts but that never happens with exo because sm owns/CALLS IN FAVORS/ with the media.

So those convo's are never had, so besides the average fanwar, most people can freely live in the world that exo is original and super duper talented above all others. Whenever someone wants to have a convo about this and actually know info about exo and can't just be deemed stupid and uneducated then 'it's not that important'

I tend not to bother or even talk about things that don't really irk me, but I can't lie sometimes I'm a bit irked. The false narratives truly do get to me, I remember a lot of stuff that many fans just weren't there for. I pass in on certain artists every now and then with Exo and Shinee being the only kpop boy groups I really listened to album after album, I keep wondering why I don't randomly get the urge to listen to them.

It could be a lot of reasons, bad memories, or I just am not into them as people. But celeb gossip to me means nothing. I don't care about rumors or someone's bad reputation if their music is good. It's not even the fandom cause some fandoms make me question humanity but when the beat drop I honestly don't really care

With Exo, honestly the music is something I have a hard time returning to. I once agreed with people that it was indeed better than other K-pop but now I'm starting to think that's a poor comparison. We are all equal, maybe not in ability but we all have the ability to put our heart and soul in what we do and if the music is good it should come off as right. There's little excuse when there are kids with youtube channels around the world who sound literally amazing, and they are no different than anybody, just singing to their heart's content. Passion, soul, drive. I believe that will always come off to others. It's what helped the civil rights cause for blacks back in the day, how they sang and danced. People just couldn't believe it.

Now we have an open market for talent so the competition is fierce but there is still people who blow listeners away. Every now and then I'll find a song that's good regardless of the singing style, they could be whispering or just humming and it sounds perfect, because they are doing what's for them.

Kpop is extremely manufactured to the point where this authenticity is very rare, few people truly sing with their heart and soul, it's mainly singing to impress and following a stiff formula. The problem with Exo mainly is the excellent catalogue they had access to, that lee soo man had access to. To me that was their ticket to stardom and a big reason not only for their success but the success of S.m entertainment as a whole. Many fans are less concerned with the details of how their artists and their work came to be and mainly are into the parasocial nature and competitive attitude of fandom for which the overall music and art suffers in my opinion.

The group finds little reason to give content and work very hard on their artistic ventures because honestly, who really cares. It's quite sad and the complete opposite of the music industry decades ago.

So most of the focus is just giving the group a concept, album or good song and the special touch the members give is next to none. The songs and albums could of been for anybody and deep down they know that which may lead to them being disconnected with their music.

Regardless as someone who watched many Untold stories about the black music industry, black artists were done bad, very badly, treated like dirt.

To see their music get new life is bittersweet because of the context in which it's happening, it seems ironic that people who care nothing for the cultural, political or even spiritual reasons for this music existing get to profit off of it. But that's just life. To get back into the talent aspect the singing in general all these years later I can hear now what my young ears couldn't. The vocal technique is mediocre and there is no attempt to fix it

Not only that fans who don't really care about vocal technique are going out of their way to claim not only is Exo superior to Kpop vocals which sure why not, but it's like a disrespectful attitude towards the black musicians and their 'versions'. As in the black musicians talent is ok but it couldn't compare to their Oppa's.

Many in kpop are guilty of this, but heavy is the head that wears the crown even after it's taken off. They are the kings of Kpop, no? Then they are responsible for inspiring the current generation more than anybody. If they are on the wrong path they are only following the example Exo set for them. They have called a lot of attention to their talent but I've yet to see them truly shine brighter than other's on their level. I believe there's a reason they stayed out of America. There is no such thing as constant popularity in the west. They don't just demand showing up and looking good and performing on a basic level. They want everything. Singing, dancing, choreography, artistry, political opinions etc etc.

Artists like Taylor Swift have written a majority of their music whether partially or fully. Hits and misses. It's a learning curve, but improvement is expected in the west. The more personal the better. Haley Williams also writes a majority of her music with her bandmates as well

Haley often talks first hand about her source of inspiration and always goes very deep when creating her music with her team.

constant artistic evolution is never easy there are blips and missteps but the point is an artist is responsible for putting their soul and passion into their work without concern of judgement.

Their hit Ain't it fun was unlike anything they'd done before fit with a gospel choir and all, it wasn't a sure hit but they went for it. A group can be an old group yet still keep it kicking artistically

weird and wacky can definitely work.

To keep going with the boyband contrasts Louis, and the other members, didn't just write one off songs he helped create songs that really had an impact on the group as well. This also helps with creativity because it must be discouraging to an artist to be an artist and have everything handed to them. How can they truly speak.

I put this in here because those boys really did work hard, they had a good run and they truly contributed to the music world despite having the most cookie cutter starting point.

End of Pt one

[wispforever]

📂 gotta get your madara takes

he doesn't use labels, but madara's got no fucken gender. he's like that meme where you ask the villain what's in their pants and they're like "doom"

I like to think that after izuna dies, madara talks to him a lot while he's doing everyday things. He'll ask izuna what he should have for breakfast or if it's time to dust around the house. He says goodnight and good morning to izuna, tells him about hashi, basically just airs out his thoughts and feels better knowing that izuna is informed. He doesn't intend to do this where anyone can hear, but hashirama knows about it

madara and hashirama's friendship is autistic solidarity

During the time madara sits in the cave hooked up to the gedo statue, the time he spends sleeping, he's actually spending time in the smaller version of the infinite tsukuyomi genjutsu he showed obito (I'm writing a fic about this)

hashirama comes over to madara's house often to tend to his neglected plants. he thinks madara is bad at taking care of them, but really madara leaves them unwatered so hashirama will continue to visit, and he enjoys hearing hashirama's advice for keeping each of the different plants happy

madara doesn't feel a strong attachment to his clan lineage unlike most of the other members of the uchiha

he and mito were friends and they talked about hashirama ALL the time

hashirama and madara both have never cut their hair because they have a long-standing bet over whose can grow the longest

madara's totally got imposter syndrome and profound self esteem issues (i could write a fucking essay on this. ANYONE can fight me)

while he was staying in the leaf village, madara kept things with tobirama civil despite his deep resentment toward him for killing izuna. to respect hashirama was to respect his family, and he believed that if the roles were reveresed, hashirama would have honored izuna

hashirama and madara wrestle all the fucking time for fun and tobirama gets pissed because they're like "it's fine it's fine we're just playing" but then someone gets thrown through a wall. mito's always chasing them outside like "not on my fucking scrolls get out in the grass you crazy bastards"

madara's real laugh is obnoxious. he snorts and wheezes and carries on, but only hashirama can get him to laugh that way

no one knows it (cuz he's fucking gay), but madara is a total bitch for cliche romantic gestures. flowers? hand holding? old-timey slowdancing? it's hashi's fault. he's stupid and madara loves it. on a related note, madara's super power is being able to take any romantic gesture and perform the mental acrobatics necessary to explain it in a platonic context. this works for them because hashirama just thinks madara isn't ready to talk about their relationship out loud. But in reality hashirama is like "I love you" (I love him romantically) and madara is like "I love you too" (wow he is such a good friend, I better not ever let him know I'm gay for him I don't wanna ruin this). they're both idiots is what I'm saying

he engages in old man activities and does old man things when he's not out on missions. he reads quietly and sits in the sun, takes naps in the middle of the day, bird watches, goes for walks. my god he's depressed just let him be exhausted

he totally babysat tsunade and he did SUCH a good job. more responsible caregiver than hashirama could EVER be

Madara is the most patient human being on this entire goddamn planet. see had hashirama as a life long companion, did not kill tobirama who is a prick besides being the object of madara's undying hatred, actually tried to live in the leaf village despite the obvious discrimination, had zetsu as henchman for over a decade, did not bitch obito out Even Once, etc etc

[postwarlevi]

Single 1.5k words || Fathers Day 2022 Masterlist

"Dad I don't want to go to school today! Can't I just come to work with you?" The 8 year old whines to her father.

Levi ignores her and hands over her lunch bag. He's finishing getting her and himself ready for another weekday morning.

She gets more annoyed and stomps her foot. "Dad!"

"Izzy!" Levi finally turns at her, making her look down.

"Look, I want nothing more then to spend more time with you, but you have to go to school, and I have to go to work. That's how it is." He does not want to have this discussion again.

She sighs and nods, and Levi pulls her in for a hug. "Sorry." He mumbles. He doesn't mean to snap at her, especially for nothing.

She's a terrific kid and they get along so well. But raising a girl without her mother is difficult, and Levi still has a lot to learn.

They go through the motions every week, getting ready, saying goodbye, getting through school and work, Levi picking Isabel up from her after school program, eating dinner, talking about their day, and going to bed.

Weekends aren't exciting usually and consist of many chores, but sometimes Levi let's her go to a friends house, or brings her out for ice cream.

It's been a monotonous routine for a couple years now. Isabel loves her father and knows he tries and still has a hard time. She tries to be good for him. Levi just wants what's best for her.

In the afternoon when Levi goes to pick Isabel up she's not waiting outside like usual, so after a few minutes he shuts the car off and goes inside.

There's lots of kids still there and a few adult supervisors. "Have you seen Isabel Ackerman?" He asks one, and they direct him further inside.

"Izzy! What happened?" Levi exclaims at seeing her being bandaged around the knee with cotton and antiseptic nearby.

"I'm okay dad!" She freezes at his voice.

"Mr Ackerman. She's okay, just had a bit of a fall playing outside with-"

"Weren't you watching her?" Levi demands, all but pushing you out of the way to inspect his daughter.

"Excuse me?" You didn't expect this reaction.

"Dad! It's fine, really!" Isabel jumps off the table and shows she's in good shape. "She's taken good care of me." She says, standing in front of you almost protectively.

Levi closes his eyes and slows his breathing. "I'm sorry." He looks at you.

"It's alright." You do understand.

Isabel goes to collect her things and you explain the situation to Levi, and he apologizes again and thanks you.

Levi is surprised when they leave that Isabel hugs you like she would a good friend.

"She's one of the new adults. Knows lots about medicine and takes care of us." Izzy explains to her dad on the ride home.

"Is that why you hug her?" Levi asks, but just gets a shrug.

She's too shy to say that she's opened up to you about things Levi doesn't talk about much and it's made her feel better. She thinks saying that might make him feel worse.

The week passes and Isabel is always outside waiting after school, but she usually has you close by, and brings you to the car as well.

"Hope you had a good day Mr Ackerman." You say with a wave as Isabel gets in the car.

"Yes. Thank you, you too." He nods back.

Small talk like this is made every day. It's the most interactive Levi has been with another adult outside of work in a while.

Isabel takes notice, thinking to herself about the way you speak with her on subjects she can't talk to anyone else about. How you always help her see her fathers point of view while not minimizing her own feelings.

On her own, Isabel invites you to a school concert a few weeks later, and once in the auditorium she purposely gets you to sit by Levi before running backstage to perform.

She's very excited to see you both smiling and waving to her from your seats, sharing looks and laughing.

"I saw you talking." Isabel mentions once she and Levi are home.

"Yes, she's very nice." Levi admits. You really care about the kids, especially Isabel, who you praise most of the evening without revealing anything she's said in confidence.

The smart little third grade girl continues crafting ways to get you two talking. You sit together at more school functions, and your after school goodbyes get longer.

"Do you wanna come to the movies with us tomorrow?" Isabel asks suddenly.

Levi turns to look at her, extremely confused by this.

"Well, my afternoon is free, is you don't mind me tagging along." You say to Levi.

Isabel waits, crossing her fingers. "No, we don't mind." You agree to meet at a certain time and wave goodbye.

"Izzy, what was that?" Levi asks. "We weren't going out tomorrow." He now knows she's up to something.

"Well, I wanted to." She says as innocently as possible.

Once in the house and preparing dinner while Isabel is doing homework, Levi is still shaking his head.

"You really put me in a spot." He says once they sit down together.

"It's just a movie." She rolls her eyes.

"Are you, hoping, for something out of this?" Levi wonders.

"I just want to go to the movies tomorrow. We never go out." She's starting to get a little nervous.

Levi thinks about this, and doesn't correct her. They really don't do a lot together lately, and he's upset with himself for it. There are no excuses.

"Look, that's fine but, you should still ask me to invite someone. You don't even know if she wants to go." She put you on the spot, too.

"Yes she does." She insists.

Levi sighs, not wanting to argue.

No more is said until later when Isabel is tucked in bed. "Are you hoping this is a date?" Levi asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. He can't stop thinking about this.

"That wouldn't be so bad, right?" She doesn't think so. "Don't you like her?" She sits up in bed.

"What? Sure, I mean, she's nice."

"Well why not then?" Why not a date?

Levi takes a few moments. "You don't even know if she likes-"

He gets a shock when Isabel all but jumps out of bed and gets extremely animated with her voice and her hands.

"Yes she does! You're all we talk about!" She says in a not so inside voice.

Everything you talk about comes pouring out. Levi finds out you know quite a lot about both Izzy and him. His eyes widen as she continues.

"She likes you! I know it! She's always asking how you are! And, I like her! And, she likes me! And you laugh with her! You do! Please!"

Out of nowhere she begins to cry.

Levis heart hurts and he motions for her to come over and he holds her while she sobs. "I'm sorry." He whispers to her over and over. He needs to talk to his daughter more.

"Mom…is gone. She's gone. But SHE is here." Izzy says of you, the one who she is sure could help piece them back together.

"Honey, she can't replace your mother." Levi says softly, petting her hair.

Isabel looks up at him through her tears.

"But you're right, I do like being around her. I'm sorry if I haven't laughed a lot."

"It's okay." She pats his cheeks, making him chuckle.

He wipes her eyes with a tissue. "And, maybe she would be good for us."

They talk a little more before going to bed, and both feel better, knowing they can open up more often, and that they'll spend time doing things that aren't chores.

But Levi won't go into this without making you aware too.

The next day he sends Isabel ahead to the snack line after you greet each other.

"Izzy thinks this is a date." He gets out very quickly while blushing.

"Oh." You don't know what to do with that information.

"And um, I would be okay with that, if it's okay with you. I mean, I know she talks to you, and we have one thing in common, so, maybe there's more." He says about how much you care for his daughter.

You're confusion turns into a smile. All is out in the open.

"I'd love for this to be a date, Levi." The first time you don't say Mr Ackerman, and it almost has him stuttering.

Levi buys all the snacks and you head in, and Isabel insists on an aisle seat, making you two sit next to each other.

Isabel sneaks glances towards you during the movie, and is happy to see you both laughing, and holding hands.

You all know, this is the beginning of something wonderful.

[renshengs]

adding on to this: i don't think it's wise or realistic to paint kwon hyuk as some altruistic empathetic hyung to juwon and i don't think he and juwon ever had that dynamic of being thick as thieves, standing in solidarity together. i think it's more interesting that we witness the forming of that dynamic in the later episodes when han kihwan's mask of civility begins to slip further and further.

for kwon hyuk, i don't think juwon's resentment of his father was one of his priorities and i don't think his dedication toward han kihwan was a performance, though his personality certainly shrank down in hkh's presence, as is very understandable. when they met, kwon hyuk was a boy with assumedly excellent academic performance who han kihwan had deemed fit to tutor his only son despite, you know, his lower-status background. han kihwan's willingness to sponsor and support kwon hyuk financially would have been like a beacon to someone like him then, a boy from a low-income family to whom a successful future of that degree was something he could only dream of. that sort of gesture, which most likely meant nothing to han kihwan, would have been grand and life-changing for kwon hyuk. he would have been extremely grateful for han kihwan's support. at the time, juwon would have merely been the path through which he could access that kind of support, and it's safe to assume that kwon hyuk wasn't all that privy to the han family father-son dynamics either, seeing as the scriptbook says juwon and his father didn't even spend time together on important holidays.

i think it's important to remember kwon hyuk is clearly ambitious and practical in his approach to things, which is why he clung to han kihwan for so long—to him, even the factor of intimidation wouldn't have outweighed the benefits of being connected to someone so powerful. that slap han kihwan delivered in the show, then, was poignant. that was about where kwon hyuk drew his line. he’s not a particularly morally upstanding person; he’s not in pursuit of the ultimate form of justice like juwon; he’s not a terrible person either. there is only so much outside of his life that he really cares about, and that’s okay. i don’t think he was always concerning himself with what he probably saw as juwon’s classic rich boy problems. i don’t find it very interesting, personally, to try and make him out to be a better, kinder person than the show presented him as. i find it more compelling that his final betrayal of han kihwan was done partially out of self-preservation, as he should, and also that he’s the type of person who cares a lot about his own security, being someone whose background was not financially secure, and yet he sometimes goes out of his way anyway to help juwon out because against all odds he does care about him, even if he puts on an attitude about it. even if we, the audience, are the only ones who really understand enough to see these gestures as him grudgingly worrying about juwon.

kwon hyuk is a pretty self-serving person, which makes sense considering his background, and that makes him interesting! he stuck with han kihwan largely out of self-interest, then cut him off, also largely out of self-interest. kwon hyuk’s separation from han kihwan was a necessary one; it was his own long-awaited character growth, and i like that the narrative subtly and consistently hints to us as to why on earth he’d ever want to stay connected to han kihwan at all—that he probably yearns for a father figure who can give him what his real father cannot (financial stability), that he possesses the sort of desperation for a sense of safety that people who’ve had difficult childhoods one way or another often do. what really changed things in the end was that juwon warned him about han kihwan’s downfall first, and in doing so made kwon hyuk realize, more startlingly than he ever did, that this bullheaded young master actually cared about him. both kwon hyuk and juwon are visibly repressed people and can only escape their own repression by distancing themselves from han kihwan. in the end, it’s all about gathering the courage to reach out to others, opening the doors so that emotional connection can flow through.

the state of juwon and kwon hyuk's relationship is so fascinating to me. flesh & blood son vs. son-my-father-wishes-he-had. that strange awkward and sometimes sad tension between them. a lot of it is a difference in backgrounds: juwon doesn't fully understand kwon hyuk's attachment to han kihwan nor kwon hyuk's willingness to serve and kiss up to someone like that, while kwon hyuk finds it difficult to fathom juwon's rebellion/resistance toward his father, who is an extremely powerful sponsor to have and represents to kwon hyuk a path to success, a way out of the implied desperation and poverty of his background.

they both like each other more than they realize and more than they'd want to admit. kwon hyuk has known juwon for a decade without Knowing him. they're both occupying several roles in each other's lives at once, all of them intersecting with each other, and the overlaps make it very awkward. kwon hyuk is juwon's brother figure and his former tutor and the middleman between him and his father and the fabled "kid your parents won't stop comparing you to" and also like, his colleague. a family friend. he's the only person juwon hangs out with, and their idea of "hanging out" is mostly just sitting parallel to each other in the private section of some gorgeous uppity seoul bar while kwon hyuk badgers juwon about friends and dating and, you know, pleasing his father.

kwon hyuk's approach to being a good hyung to juwon is also very funny. he's pretty serious about it. there's very obviously a part of him that wants to knock some sense into this elite rich prettyboy's head so that he doesn't get himself stuck in places kwon hyuk can't dig him back out of, but also this is made ineffective by the fact that his methods often rely on (unintentionally) condescending juwon, such as at the beginning of episode 10. which, like, he wasn't even wrong. juwon was absolutely not equipped to be facing lee dongsik.

the problem with his approach is that he's going by the older-sibling-who-is-better-than-you manual, half-chiding and half-lecturing, because he is not just juwon's hyung but also han kihwan's perfect little helper, the son figure he turns to, especially when his actual son disappoints him, which results in kwon hyuk feeling even more threatened by the need to be flawless and Unlike Juwon. due to their awkward inexplicable positions in each other's lives, juwon is wary of him for so long because he interprets the attention kwon hyuk gives him as an extension of kwon hyuk's supposed lifelong gratitude toward han kihwan. he's dissuaded by kwon hyuk's proximity to han kihwan. their relationship is burdened by the presence of juwon's father crowding out the potential space for closeness between them, which is, among other smaller reasons, the main reason why they can't grow any closer to each other. it quite literally takes the whole show and life-altering discoveries for juwon to finally open up enough that he becomes willing to reach out to kwon hyuk, not because he's 100% certain that kwon hyuk even likes him that much but because he's finally accepted the fact that, fine, he does care about this annoying snooty hyung of his, and cares enough that he doesn't want kwon hyuk to be caught in the crossfire.

and kwon hyuk does meet him halfway when he reaches out! juwon is rewarded by the narrative for letting himself be more honest and vulnerable with kwon hyuk than he's ever dared to be, and this time kwon hyuk considers his words and listens to him instead of treating him like a baby who doesn't know anything. it's sooo important to me that they're able to grow closer once han kihwan is out of the picture. it's so so important to me that juwon has people in his life who are not lee dongsik nor the rest of the manyang squad. i think post-canon both of them catch up sometimes when juwon's in seoul and it's—easier. better. feels realer.