#really genuinely cannot get this image out of my mind

[inkykeiji]

i can’t stop thinking about this shot,, this pose

[mohntilyet]

veilguard spoilers regarding a josie romance. but can we talk about the letter josie sends to a romanced inquisitor because. i’m sorry. fucking losing my mind at the fact that the inquisitor and josephine are close enough friends with the guy the inquisitor duels in her romance to be invited to meet his third child. implying they’ve been invited to the other two. at a baby shower and getting introduced as the one who dueled the baby’s father because he was trying to steal your girl. antivan romances insane.

NO LITERALLLYYYYY. AND HE’S AN IN LAW. ITS TOO FUNNY. i cannot imagine how they met and how yvette probably was like “teehee…. the man that my sister spurned…. has fallen in love with ME!” and the best/worst part is that ortranto really has. i like to think of them running around with each other and secretly meeting as though their families actually hate each other (they really don’t lol) . the ortrantos would probably be delighted to have their son actually marry a montilyet like they wanted, even better that they’re actually in love and it’s not arranged!

i have this image of josie going like “you can’t marry him. is this a joke, because it’s not funny. i almost embarrassed him! the only reason the ortrantos do not hate us is because he is a very kind man who saw that i was in love with the inquisitor! ….yes i suppose a very kind man like that could love you…….. yes of course i want you to be happy…… yvette gabrielle montilyet, i fear you are not hearing what i’m saying— DON’T SAY YOU ARE ALREADY AN ORTRANTO. DID YOU ELOPE? ah okay. don’t do that. i said don’t do that. yvette come back and listen to me” etc etc

of course i must believe that there was a big scene caused (once again) by a montilyet and ortranto that ends with lord ortranto making a speech where the publicly declares his love for yvette in front of all of antiva city to see and hear. so there’s no backing out from this one. in my mind there’s a rehash of the big “BECAUSE I LOVE HER!” (ortranto, desperate but genuine), “you do?” (completely aghast josie who has somehow missed the fact her sister has been giggling even more than usual), plus an “OF COURSE HE DOES!” (a thrilled yvette) that reminds josie so fondly of her own love story that she's immediately relaxed (and suddenly accepting) about this whole thing <3

[gremlinmodetweeker]

König and Horangi as a Cat Hybrids

I had this mental image of a new AU but I don't have my tablet to draw on so I'm just gonna vomit out my new AU thoughts.

What about König and Horangi as cat hybrids that reader unknowingly adopts? She just sees these two ragtag cats outside, feels really bad and starts feeding them. Eventually, they start bonding to her so they follow her home. It's kinda hard to tell a cat no when it just sorta walks through the front door (Horangi first and König nervously scooting in afterwards).

It's hard to believe Horangi is a stray. He's a glorious little toyger cat and he's swanning around loving the place up. He is a personality plus cat. He's genuinely the best companion, but also the loudest companion. Will scream at 6am for food. That wakes up König, and König will sit on your face in an attempt to suffocate you for food. They are a horrific duo.

Anyways, Horangi is a great cat but he never leaves either you or König alone. He does not understand the concept of personal space. He's there. Everywhere. You cannot escape loudmouth Horangi. He has opinions and he must share them. Sometimes König will resort to laying on him in an attempt to get him to shut up.

Horangi's also a bit of a jackass. He'll purposefully make messes to laugh at you. He will swat your drinks off the table and steal your keys and hide them in the cat tree. He'll also hide under beds and swat your ankles. He's a devil cat and he's proud of it.

König, on the other hand, is a bit of a ghost cat. You sometimes forget you have two cats. However, when König makes his presence known, it's impossible to ignore. Mostly because he vomits on your carpet and then looks at you sadly. He would clean it up, but that would blow his cover. So instead, he watches as you deal with his problems. He knows what you must do, and for that he is sorry.

König is a ratty black maine coon cat, or maybe a ragdoll. Can't decide yet. Either way, he's a bit uggo but if you just brushed him he'd look fine. His eyes are always crusty and leaking and he'll squirm like a bastard if you try to clean him up. He's a crusty man and he likes it that way.

Most of König's antics revolve around food or being a crusty cat. He is such a food-driven animal that it's insane. He only wants to eat and he will do anything to get to food. He's trampled Horangi numerous times when the dinner bell's been rung. He does everything he can to earn more treats and it's a bit frightening. You're also worried he's gaining weight. You're particularly worried because the way König deals with Horangi's antics is by sitting on him until he stops. He also tries to sit on you to stop you from going places. This is cute until he digs his claws in and hangs on for dear life.

König and Horangi like to stay in their cat forms as often as possible. Quite simply, it's comfortable. Free food, plenty of belly scratches, König gets regular baths so he doesn't smell like a crusty old man, it's a good life for the two of them. Mind you König isn't even that old, he's just crusty.

I just wonder what would be the thing to make reader realize that her two crusty cats are actually crusty men living in her apartment rent-free..

[eamour]

making the first step.

manifesting, as we know it, means to deal with reality the way you want it. it means to accept things you like and to dismiss things you dislike. manifesting is all about what you choose to be aware of. in this post, i want to highlight the importance of knowing what you want and deciding to manifest your desire.

knowing what you want.

this is gonna sound like a hard pillow to swallow but believe me, been there, done that: just because you can have, be and do everything you want it doesn't mean that you are already having, being and doing these things — eventually, you need to know what you want in life. you need to have an image (not literally) what you want to experience. you need to know what you want for yourself. this goes for pretty much everybody and any desire you want to manifest.

things you don't want.

another important point i want to mention is the issue with making the wrong decision. no worries, you can and you are most definitely allowed to make decisions that turn out to be the wrong ones for you. sometimes, it's even necessary to do so. my point is that the moment you make the wrong choice and realise that this isn't want you want — EVEN if you have consciously manifested it from a state of once wanting it — you still have the right to un-want and to un-manifest it. essentially, doing something you dislike for too long will make you feel like you are rotting from the inside... and you really don't need to endure that.

feelings of being lost.

you cannot yield towards a goal you don't know. you cannot have something you cannot properly label. you cannot arrive with no destination. you can, surely, have an idea of something you want and get it regardless — but if you're uncertain, if you keep wavering between a handful of options and find it hard to make a decision, you will remain as you are. not knowing what you want for yourself, especially long-term, will be reflected to you in one way or another. and admittedly, it can be so tiring to know that you want to enter a new chapter in your life notwithstanding that you don't even know what it's gonna look like.

to decide means to change.

making a decision implies making a change within yourself. it doesn't matter how big or small that decision is going to be, how significant or unimportant the things are that you want for yourself — making a decision means to declare that you want something and that you are willing to move towards it. and since self has to be expressed and there is only self to change, you will reflect those changes once you shift from within.

knowing who you are.

you know that you change once you know WHAT you want to change. however, it doesn't just end there. finally knowing what you want for yourself and being able to see yourself have those wonderful desires of yours also means to understand who YOU are. it means to get to know your inner man and the things he likes. and once you do, once you are aiming for the things you GENUINELY want, you will never experience a day of uncertainty again.

deciding to manifest.

you see how much of a relevance it is to simply decide? so many people don't take their time to go within themselves and to actually get to know their deepest desires. so, what i want you to do is to make up your mind. pretend i'm your mom or your virtual manifestation assistant who tells you do to your chores. i don't really mind if it takes you a lot of time or if it makes you feel uncomfortable. whatever you want, you can have it 100%. and all those feelings of irritation and fear are all just created by you. act as if the outer world doesn't exist for a minute. as if there are no rules in the world that could get between you and your desire.

with love, ella.

[leggerefiore]

could you maybe do hcs for poke villains with an s/o whose love language is physical touch?? preferably fluff but i would not mind light angst regarding a few who would reject it at first but learn to love it :3

(not even arceus, creator of the universe, could pry me away from cyrus’ thick ass arms. i need to sink my teeth into him RAHGHGHSAG)

maybe part 2 eventually with volo, lys, gio, and colress

cw: fluff

characters: Cyrus, Guzma, Archie, Maxie

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ He struggles. Touch is not his forte. There is an urge to keep a distance from everything. You clinging to him makes him nervous. The physical closeness feels like a boundary he struggles to surmount. Gifts seem to be where his love language mostly lies, and physical touch is what he most avoids. Cyrus never grew up with it. His family was never the type to give comforting words or any kind of touch… He genuinely tenses up at first when you embrace him. It is all so foreign, and his mind simply feels frozen. Any gentle caress or hold is simply too much. He needs to be freed and given ten minutes alone to process everything. Then, he needs to remain untouched for another hour to reset. It is a difficult time getting him adjusted, needless to say. But, he does. He shifts to accept the touches for longer periods of time.

☄️ Slowly yet not so steadily, he becomes accepting. Alas, there will remain little reciprocation from him. While you may cling to him for long periods of time, he still prefers that it remain during private times. Any kind of touch in public will almost always be rejected outside of a quick kiss or hug. His image is something that he feels must be preserved. And, in private, he still battles with his complicated feelings about touch. While he understands what you prefer, his body physically freezes and hesitance claims his muscles. There is no harm meant by it, and a part of him slowly does come to enjoy the feeling of your embrace during longer cuddle sessions or a peck to his lips or cheek as a greeting. That part begins to crave it, even. He feels lost as to what is going on with him.

☄️ Perhaps, one day, he will overcome the mental boundaries that prevent him from coming to accepting this. When he gets over everything related to his madness and rejection of feelings, he may find himself wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your nape, letting out a contented hum. Or even initiating the greeting kiss instead of waiting on your lead. Maybe, even, those late night cuddles his body craves and unconsciously initiates will finally be done openly in the evening rather than slowly overnight. The physical closeness of your body allowing his mind a rare of kind peace that he cannot believe he denied himself for so long. But… It will be a rocky road to get there.

💀Guzma🕶

□ He is touched-starved. Guzma's parents were not the most affectionate, and Team Skull is not exactly a place where you just find a cuddle buddy. Well, not for Guzma. Part of him is relieved that you seem more than giddy to wrap him in an embrace and just cling to him, and another part wonders if he really deserves it. A good for nothing… Maybe there was a nice bone in his body because he does worry about your choice in him as a boyfriend. But, when you smiled up at him, those feelings disappeared. Whatever his shitty old man used to say did not matter – You loved him despite his flaws and showed it almost constantly. Those dark thoughts faded. Your opinion was the only one that mattered.

□ He struggles a bit in public, wanting to keep up his tough appearance. There is a strange thought that he might lose his edge if he has you clinging to his side. He understands your preference in showing love, and he accepts it – but, being intimidating is an important part of his image. Though, there is something funny about his beating someone down speech while his partner clings to one of his arms. It adds to it, actually. His grunts at least say it does. Guzma believes it, too. (Kukui gives a good laugh at it and is happy his old friend found a partner for himself. He thinks it is a good balance for him.)

□ Ultimately, physical touch becomes his main method of affection, too. Guzma loves to pull you into a hug and rest his head on your own. Having you close to him reassures whatever unwanted thoughts enter his head or just reminds him that you are close to him and that your support is always there. Anything you want to give him is eagerly accepted, too. He loves anything you are willing to give him. Hugs are a favourite, though. Kisses are second… They are nice but sometimes feel too intimate for whatever you might be doing. Kisses are a common greeting between you both, usually ending up bringing multiple to different areas. His favourite of all has to be you napping on him, though. Something about seeing you sleeping on him feeds his ego in all the right ways.

☀️Maxie🌋

🪨 He struggles. Maxie genuinely does. Everything he does is so structured and guided that even something as simple as your preference for giving affection gives him pause. What example would that set for him as a leader? You cannot just cling to him whenever you feel like. There were rules to these things, right? Especially in public… His mind races at the most simple of touches from you. He was given adequate affection growing up, but… Rules. He struggles to find a good way to accommodate your needs.

🪨 Public touching seems completely impossible with him. Even just holding his hand results in him pulling away and trying to pretend that he did not notice or react. It may hurt, but it is something that you will have to work him on. Maxie does apologise when you are both alone and attempts to explain his actions, so you do not think they were done in malice or rejection. He does wish that this pressure was not on him, but he really does think that his example is most important. It is difficult to sway him away from that line of thought. He does feel bad about rejecting you just showing your love so frequently.

🪨 In private, he seems like an entirely different person. Any kind of touch is accepted with pleasure and whatever tense air that surrounds him is completely gone. Cuddling is a common way to spend time together – Maxie simply adoring the warmth that the shared contact brings. Kisses are common, too. Mostly quick pecks to the cheek, but he allows a kiss to the lips all the same. He initiates fairly often, too. In truth, Maxis adores the warmth generated from physical touch. It is a nice comfort on his stressed mind, and he finally can let go of all his stiffness. Your way of showing affection is adored by him in secret. He will never let it break his stern facade, but, well, when you are alone with him, you will know.

🌧Archie🌊

💧 He loves it. Archie simply cannot get enough. The pirate is exactly the same way, so he is glad you feel just the same as him. Physical touch is the best way to show love, right? Letting yourself be so open and vulnerable with another is a special thing… Not to mention the endorphins! He is ready to let you do anything and everything with him. His family was pretty much all like him, so it was really no surprise he brought the same energy out himself. A guffaw can only leave him when you sneak a tentative touch, and he turns around and deepens it. You might meet your match in him.

💧 He loves doing things in public. Why should he hide anything? The whole world should know how much you two love each other! Kisses are shared whenever you and he want to, and public cuddles are not a common sight around Lilycove or the Aqua hideout. If anyone comments on it, they get a glare. Why does it bother them? He does not really care – All that matters is that you are happy. He loves making you grin whenever you come in to hug him or kiss him or even just hold his hand. There is a certain pride he gets in knowing that he meets your needs so well. You really seem almost made for each other.

💧 In private, everything is cranked up to ten. He loves for you to just sit in his lap and have your arms wrapped around his neck while you both just relax from whatever was happening in your day. Kisses are longer and perhaps a little more passionate – something he does actually draw the line at in public just a tad. He loves catching you from behind and pulling you into a hug, or you even doing the same to him. There is probably very little time you two spend apart from each other at home. Cuddling when in bed is a must, too. He loves holding you close to him like a plush toy. Really, he is the best partner for someone inclined towards physical touch.

[locketsvault]

「 CUDDLING WITH BSD MEN PT 4/4 」

pairings: tecchou x reader ፥ jouno x reader ፥ tachihara x reader

tags: gender neutral reader, fluff, cuddling/phyiscal affection

warnings: talks of disabilities in jounos part

other parts: ada ᨒ port mafia ᨒ doa + the guild ᨒ the hunting dogs

a/n: tachiharas is short since I haven’t entirely figured him out, I hope that’s okay!

// tecchou suehiro ⌇˚.༄

⮑ He promised you to always take care of you and he means it.

⮑ He pulls you into a hug by grabbing the back of your head and leading you into his arms. Sometimes he will even tuck your face into his neck. Honestly you could melt into his arms, he’s just that comfortable and safe. Don’t think too hard on it though, we all know he’s muscular—.

⮑ He has designated cuddles based on your mood, I’m dead serious. He is very observant and came to the opinion cuddle positions are based on moods. He’s surprisingly not wrong. If you have aches he will hold you close which rubbing/massaging the area. He is the definition of attentive.

⮑ He doesn’t see the appeal of pda but he doesn’t mind it either. If you’re the type to do pda then okay, if not that’s also okay. As long as it’s not flashy pda in front of his co workers.

⮑ His cuddles never fail, he’s always comfortable no matter what. Honestly I’d like to compare him to a security blanket. I’d love to at least hug this man, at least once.

⮑ 10/10 cuddles, you always come first to him.

// jouno saigiku ⌇˚.༄

⮑ My poor baby with insane hypersensitivity. Good luck.

⮑ It’s canon that all of his senses are very heightened. I feel like too much touch could easily overwhelm him. He’s talked about being able to hear heartbeats and internal body movements. I think that being too close to someone can overwhelm him not just talking about him telling tecchou to stop breathing. If you did cuddle it cannot be in silence or he could get overwhelmed.

⮑ And I imagine touch is a similar amount of torture for him. He feels everything x10. Too much touch can be suffocating to him. I adore jouno and physical touch, I’d love to say he loves cuddles, but in all honesty as someone who has a normal amount of hyper sensitivity I genuinely think it could get too much for him.

⮑ When he can handle cuddling he’s always in control or the big spoon. He keeps the touching to a minimum usually, like holding hands. But if he notices you need more he will compromise and give it to you. Sometimes though he will give in and let you hold him instead. Though sadly it’s usually when he crashes badly.

⮑ It takes a while but he will adjust to being able to hold each other close, which is quite nice. However when he does get overwhelmed he can be a bit mean I’m sorry but it’s true.

⮑ 3/10, it’s rare and minimum or else he might lose it.

// tachihara michizo ⌇˚.༄

⮑ I don’t really see him as much of a cuddler, especially when he’s under cover.

⮑ I don’t think he dislikes cuddling or physical affection, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t think it’s his style. Unless you tell him you enjoy it and would like to do it, he doesn’t do it much. And when he does, he’s such a guy about it.

⮑ He’s always a big spoon, I don’t see him being comfortable being a little spoon. Also this is very strange to say but he can act like such a sibling when cuddling you. Except when you or he needs it, then he takes it serious and is surprisingly gentle.

⮑ He does not like pda, he doesn’t understand the appeal and just doesn’t like it. When he’s with the port mafia he’s got an image to uphold, being in a relationship or at the least being affectionate is a big no. And with how much he gets teased by the other hunting dogs I’d say he tries his best not to get caught. It doesn’t always work though.

⮑ 3/10 cuddles, when you get your cuddles lol.

main hub ✦ masterlist ✦ to do list

[pruneunfair]

Ranking all the OI I read. Part 1: the lesser.

It'll be like my tier list except with added stories from the haven't read yet section and of course my opinions.

Since Tumblr only allows 30 images per post and a daily pass based on how many pictures can be posted at all. I'll be posting this list through multiple parts starting with the worst. Get ready because there's gonna be a lot of negativity right now.

Starting with the tier I like to call "Absolute dog shit." Terrible plots, gross content being glamourized and little to no potential at all.

honestly picking the worst of the worst was hard cause there's so many to choose from.. and I think the title of the absolute worst doesn't go to Remarried empress or Today the villainess has fun again..

Its this one: beware of the brothers

I really can't say I was surprised 😭. I mean.. look at the damn title. The FL gets adopted into the family because she looks like the ML's dead sister and it just.. escalates into step-bro love. "But it's not related by blood-" still incest and even if they didn't grow up together, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FUCK SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOUR DEAD SIBLING!?

The order of slave breeding

Yes this is an actual manhwa.. I genuinely wanna know why the author just looked at themselves in the mirror and said "Yes this is a good idea." As the title suggests.. it's about a slave merchant for a FL and her slaves falling in love with her and as if it couldn't be uncomfortable enough it is one of the few manhwa with a dark skinned ML. I don't care how many times they'll offer excues for the lead I don't fw slavery being used as a romance device in media.

I belong to house Castillo

Technically I didn't read all of it, I just read the spoilers for the rest of the chapters but to be fair, I just got finished cursing myself by reading stepbro fantasies and master/slave ships, I'm not trying to give my FBI agent a reason to search my hard drives. It's a basic and cliché found family where the FL Estelle is sold by her mother to her father and the ML is a 17 year old who basically grooms her..why? Because raising your love interest is the "only" way to make a story stand out amongst the other generic found family tales.

I tamed my ex husband's mad dog.

More cases of grooming except this time it's the FL as the perpetrator. ML looks like he's 8 but he's apparently 16.. so we got a groomer protagonist in the form of Reinhardt who also neglects her first child and favors her second child she had with her victim with the excuse of not wanting to care for her son being that he looks like her toxic ex. Lady what? That boy deserves his own villain arc holy shit.

No more turning a blind eye.

This one really dissapointed me 😔. The cover looked stunning, the artstyle while a little off was still eye catching and the title sounded promising. Nah this is a hunk of junk that had a gentrification plot for some reason.. and you were supposed to sympathize with the guy who wanted to render hundreds of people homeless to make room for art galleries or whatever it was they wanted?

The dragon kings bride

I already knew this one was probably gonna suck judging by the title. First off it treats dark skinned people like barbarians, the ML Hakan meets Lucina when she's a child, Lucina is threatened with death if she doesn't marry him and you can probably guess where it goes. Like I said I don't really have a right to be shocked but it still goes on the list for its weird obsession with Lucina being so tiny that having sex with Hakan could kill her along with a not so hidden pregnancy fetish.

I became the tyrants secretary.

Its just workplace sexual harassment, theres not much to it. Cannot stand the ML who is a basic garbage human and Rosalyn is a block of wood when it comes to personality. She wants to do all these things but she has no spine and no will to actually do them but at the same time shes so good at everything on a whim. I usually don't mind a clueless FL but Jesus christ! She makes Adrien Agreste look smarter!

The villains savior

Gotta say the artstyle is really pretty and the FLs design is so cute. Everything else though is pretty bad. The point is basically the lead Ezlay is trying to essentially "fix" the ML as the title suggest. A lot of people dislike this one because Ezlay is very emotional and cries too much but that's honestly the least of the issues here. Now to be fair, Aseph is a villain so it's expected that he's gonna suck but that doesn't mean Ezlay needs to have the personality of a rock either, it's not that she cries a lot that annoys me, she's literally just a male fantasy personified. All she is absolute patience and acceptance for what Aseph does to point of enabling that toxic behavior.

Now we enter manhwas that are horrificly awful, not much difference except these ones have a bigger grain of potential

Lucia

This one got a lot of hate tiktok so naturally I had to read it and yeah, it was pretty bad. The artstyle though just.. I'm sorry but Lucia's face is literally just 👁 👄 👁 and thats not even mentioning the ML Hugo. It's really crinegy and it tries to fill that void with poorly made smut. The plot is also really and I mean REALLY dead set on 1950s values for women and the relationship between Lucia's and Hugo is downright toxic. In fact I don't even think there's a plot.. it's just porn. The only reason it's not in dogshit tier is that it's so iconic for being awful that it deserves to be higher up.

When the villainess is in love.

Okay all I can give this one is that Libertia has a better character design than Lucia. She's a mary sue but at this point that's a lot of leads nowadays so it's not a total shock but this is definitely a case where the story would be so much better if it was the actual Libertia as the protagonist instead of a carbon copy of the ogfl taking over. The worst part though is the fashion and I normally do not care about how dresses look in OI as long as they at least look good and fit the setting.. and dear God a lot of those dresses are nightmares to look at. Thankfully I had heard the novel was better.

Today the villainess has fun again

not a fan of the protagonist. Reilynn is really insufferable to follow since she's basically just an entitled asshole who thinks that just because she got transmigrated as the wealthiest woman in the land that she must be in the right because she's not like Iris who is a basic pick me girl. Beyond the fact that watching her throw money at people to get past an obstacle without effort she's also heavily written as a pedo because out of her options which had 2 green flags her age, she chooses the slave she bought who acts and looks like a 10 year old boy with attachment issues.

Try begging

what is with Solche and their weird obsession with rapist male leads? It's somehow worse then cry or better yet beg. Basically the FL Sally/Grace is a spy and when the ML Leon finds out.. he basically tortures her and SA's her multiple times and somehow they fall in love. Do with that what you will, the only slack I will kind of give Try begging is that it at least warns you of what your getting into beforehand. I really hate that Solches writing actually has so much potential to be amazing yet they use their talents to make rape fetish content. I want to know why manhwa tiktok likes this so much, they're all about girl code until a rapist looks hot (Leon isn't even hot, hes mad ugly)

Abandoned empress

Ah yes, good ol abandoned empress, the manhwa communities favorite punching bag so it's only right it lands here. For all the writers out there if your making a character you'd want the readers to support as the love interest you typically would give them an interesting personality and to tone down anything you think is too much for a healthy relationship. Abandoned empress decides to do the opposite of that and even after scenes of Ruve abusing his wife Aristia by cheating on her, beating her, SA'ing her, killing her dad, and causing her to miscarry so you would naturally think "okay clearly Ruve is the antagonist." But instead they pulled some bullshit "but he's not doing it anymore because he was poisoned in the last timeline!"... what!? Were there any new writers by any chance because how did we go from a abusive monster to a misunderstood Lil guy? I would say more but I think everyone already agreed a long time ago Abandoned empress is ass.

Revenge on the real one

the protag is essentially those villainesses in regression stories that cause the heroines initial downfall. I was already aware of what would happen before I even read and let me tell you it was accurate. The protagonist Helga is AWFUL. The torture she puts Hillian through is overkill and at this point Hillian deserves her own regression story to stand up to Helga because my girl was not that bad for her sister to ruin her life because of a stupid tragic origin story. The worst part is the Helga fans I see on places like tiktok who just don't want to admit their FL is a bad person. "Oh but Helga past was so sad! It's not her fault she's like this." Don't mean she has to banish her sister from her own nation when Hillian was innocent.

Villain Dukes precious one.

I really dislike the reincarnated as a baby trope and I can only ever tolerate it when it's just for a few little chapters. They always feel like those weird ass Elsagate videos with embarrassing humor to come across as funny and this one is no different. Even after the FL grows up the plot is still bland and cringe inducing. I don't have a lot to say about this one other then it is weird as hell. Apparently it also got a little incest-y so no thanks!

Poisonous Lily

While the characters looked basic in terms of design the title sounded intriguing. Unfortunately the translation is horrible, they can't even get the whole Lily flower theme right on the tapas version by giving her tulips to carry on her wedding. The dialog is..interesting to say the least. I won't lose it too much though on this one though since I'm pretty sure this is a lower level book trying to make it out in a sea of over advertised manhwa

I thought my time was up.

You know those porn/no plot tags on ao3? That's basically ITMTWU in a nutshell. Within only 20 chapters, the male lead Asrahan is already obsessed with Lariette after chapters of her violating his personal space to force a relationship between them. The whole magic plot is pushed to the side, Asrahans curse isn't allowed to be an actual rotting flesh curse like it's described as cause he's still gotta be pretty, and the rest of the plot is basically just soft core porn and fanservice that does little to actually move whatever is left of the plot.

For my derelict favorite.

The. Hypocrisy. How is this book gonna make the entire message about deconstructing main character centered morality and then almost immediately backpeddaling with justifying Hestia for attacking a woman who doesn't know her for rejecting her favorite man and proceeding to just ruin her day whenever she can. Hestia would say "im not like other girls." Hestia would be an avid fan of those trust fund baby GMV. Hestia would put her hair in a messy bun, shit on whatever is popular and act like she's making a statement . Even calling her Hestia feels like straight up disrespectful to the real goddess of the hearth who funnily enough is known as one of the most chill Greek gods.

Marry my husband

now Marry my husband is not insanely problematic wheras it's just cliché, predictable and in general pretty bad. It is a fast food manhwa designed to fulfill the classic top boss takes good care of you fantasy so naturally a lot is put on hold to showcase the sweet relationship between the central characters and almost everyone needs to have a lover. It's so bad it's actually kinda funny because the villains are so cartoonishly evil for office workers. Sumin is out here speaking in 3rd person, dressing in clothes found in the little kid section of Walmart and makes comical comments about her desire to ruin Jiwons life, Minhwan is basically a borderline discord mod who casually killed jiwon in the first timeline and goes "Oh well." and there's this random ugly old man who's name I can't remember who's the only one interested in Sumin till the end because he basically wants em younger without the risk of going to federal prison.

Remarried empress

I don't think i need to explain much at this point, if you know my account then you already know how I feel about remarried empress. Season 1 was pretty good though.

Divorcing my tyrant husband

I think we all know at this point that's whenever a title has the word "divorce" 9/10 of the time there is never going to be divorce and it'll devolve into the FL changing her mind and staying with her trashy ex husband because he now decided that Robelia wasn't like other girls and left his mistress in the dust. The plot kinda started getting out of hand when Robelias love interests expanded to one of her obsessed slaves and a Duke to prove that Alexandros was the better option. The villian Aisha is a joke who gets her ass handed to her over and over because "damsel woman always bad." and the art starts to lose its touch. I usually don't mind when artstyle changes but dear God do some of these characters look a Lil fugly.

Cry or better yet beg.

The final story that is in the awful section, why? Because it has the most lost potential. As terrible as this CoHo equivalent is, it details the very realistic parts of being a mistress to a nobleman. In most other stories, the mistress is an evil wench who could easily back out but in cry or better yet beg, Layla is unable to escape Matthias's abuse because it could risk her uncles job. There's a lot to this manhwa and novel that could've made a tragic story about a girl trapped in an abusive relationship with little help, the art is gorgeous and the characters for the most part were well written. It's a real shame that it turned out to be a rape apologist work instead.

next up are the mediocre manhwas, finally there will a little more positivity.

The villainess is a marionette

its.so.boring! This one was hyped up all over the place on Instagram and tiktok and the art looked stunning so I gave it a shot. This is definitely one of those stories that only got popular because of its art in my opinion because the plot is so confusing. Events are happening left and right, the pacing goes from too fast to too slow, characters personalities and traits keep warping, and while this might just be the result of poor adaptation her brother comes across as incestuous a couple of times. while Cayena isn't the worst FL, she's a mary sue by all definitions. Sorry but it's a bunch of jumbled wires. The reason it earns a spot in "it's okay" is because I heard the novel like usual is better so it might not be the fault of the original author

I was the male leads ex

It wasn't bad just boring but a little less boring then the former I'll give it that. The artstyle looked prettier in the beginning so that was kind of sad to see it change in later chapters. What drew me to keep reading was the chance that the ogfl Julianna may not be evil but even a potential love interest. So I got excited and apparently there's the idea that Julianna is actually her brother in disguise which.. would just ruin it tbh, there goes any chance at a ogfl being a human being and not a plot device. Not a huge fan of Erica or really any of the love interests.

From maid to queen

This is the newest of the lineup I read and it was actually interesting for once to see a new story where the MC was the concubine. First off the maids feel less like women employed to do the chores of the palace and more like the cartel 😭, in early chapters whenever Urania is aiming to be the concubine, being lazy with her job or getting comfortable with a powerful man in general they're already out with sticks ready to ruin her day and they even try to kill her. Lot of people don't like that Urania isn't a girls girl but honestly I can't blame her for wanting more out of life then poverty, where she comes across as stupid is that she's still wanting that role even after it got her killed last time. I think that it could work though since it shows that urania is more human and not a perfect goddess of a woman however that does not make up for the shit world building (like what the hell was that mushroom that could turn into a perfect still corpse of you 💀)

The villainess maker.

Ill admit I'm a little harsh on this one on my tier list. The plot still isn't great but there are so much worse out there so it ended up moving up on the list due to default. The plot is mostly just bland and generic down to all the characters and the tropes. Ayla is a girlboss in the villainesses body, Charlotte is a super "revolutionary" kind girl turned wicked wench and the ML is another "touch her and I'll kill you" type. What i will give the Villainess maker is the distinct artstyle. It's not as stylized and while it does get lazy at the end it still is very recognizable.

Abellas dessert shop.

Its another extremely underrated manhwa that's another isekai about a wronged woman looking to move on from her shitty fiancé and start a dessert shop. Ngl the moments where Abella is forced to put on a kind face despite her cheating fiancé or her ex friend popping in is definitely relatable especially in the workforce. Still a little bland but wholesome.

I didn't mean to seduce the male lead.

Eleanor is the FL hired to convince the ML to accept women into his life with the hopes that he will fall in love with the ogfl Irene. Tbh this one can get very icky with how it tries to force the notion that you must fall in love but the guy just instantly falls in love with Eleanor so.. I guess that's a little better? Regardless though i will not fault this manhwa too much because unfortunately the author died before the story was over so it deserves a little slack since it never got the chance to be more. Rest in peace author.

Who made me a princess.

Ill be straight with this now: it's Mid. Objectively the story isn't too terrible and I do find Athy a good protagonist not to mention my love for Jennete but everything else is pretty "meh." Not a huge fan of Claude from his design to his personality, the ML is another case of a grown as immortal meeting his wife when she's still a child (theres a little credit ill admit for Athy being mentally a grown woman but that doesnt stop me from thinking its uncomfortable to acknowledge) It can be cute sometimes and I'll give it that but I don't think I'll ever reread it, just not for me.

Actually I was the real one

Good god this was such a bastardization of the original novel. With that said I'll admit i was still entertained reading it since you could say that the novel wouldn't be an instant cheat sheet to learn what was gonna happen. Still it could've at least tried to be a loyal adaptation. They give Keira 2 options to choose as a love interest when she had none in the source material, Zeke is pushed to the side and the maids honestly get on my nerves with their one note personalities. They also seem to forget that Cosette is literally being possessed by a demon he'll bent on destroying humanity (which she succeeded in the first time) because what was built up as an amazing antagonist is just a joke now. The only other redeeming factors are that in the Manhwa Cosette is still alive and the whole elemental plot stays constant. Despite my complaints on the adaptation it is still a interesting read but the novel will always beat it no matter what.

I know it sounds like I'm just being a negative Nancy with all of these and I'm sorry for being so negative but the next part will be more positive.

Next time on part 2 will be the decent stories.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hello, also I was wondering if you could do a black reader with posideon and Buddha , also could it be a she and human , and she's a little chubby or like thick idk (Also you don't have to do this if you feel uncomfortable)

I don’t mind at all, love! I know tackling chubby readers is a bit sensitive. It’s funny since I’m chubby too but I’m gonna try my best! Being chubby is never a problem, you don’t need to change yourself but if you want to be healthier, go right ahead! Do it for yourself, not for anybody else! And I don’t need to comment on black people, they are beautiful and deserve as much love as we all get

Poseidon

Once more, Poseidon is a heavy human hater and at first, he completely ignored you since to him. You’re nothing but filth before his eyes. However, he begun to indulge in a sense of hypocrisy as he kept thinking about you and returned to ‘study about humans’ when, in reality. He wanted to know about you

Poseidon notices your chubby curves but do you think he’ll fuss over it? He won’t. He doesn’t control what you do nor does he care. Would he rather you be healthier and therefore thinner, yes. But he thinks your slightly thicker self is not that bad. Your own body is the last of his problems

Poseidon has not seen many black people in his life, as he is much more use to the pale skinned figures like his fellow Greek gods so whilst he does notice your ‘different’ appearance right away, he only asks you to explain it to him in detail from his awe is AFTER he has basically dragged you into his private suite within the Gods’ level of Valhalla

Poseidon still has a reputation to uphold so whilst he won’t openly express the fact he’s now friendly and even intimate with a human, he’ll just keep the fact he’s considering making you his Queen to himself… he is a hypocrite but he won’t accept being exposed as a hypocrite

Poseidon actually genuinely likes your attitude. You don’t take shit from anybody, you’re graceful, you’re strong, you’re a perfect Queen… even if he knows you’re a repulsive weak little human. He’ll just have to figure out a way to turn you into a Goddess. It’s not like you don’t deserve it, you deserve to wield godly power

Sadly, your relationship with Poseidon is purely private / secret since he cannot risk all the hardwork he put into his whole image within the Olympian Gods but this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. At first, he didn’t, but now, he does and that’s enough. He cares about you, he’ll work for you, he’ll spoil you

“Coral. Come here now. Put that down and stand beside me. Listen closely, you are to stay out of the sight of the Gods, those cigarette butts are not worthy of indulging in your beauty”

Buddha

On the other hand, Buddha just really doesn’t give much of a fuck about anybody around him but also only really cares about himself so when he comes across you… he kinda looks at you, gives off a causal greeting then goes on his way. Yet, you kept coming across his mind afterwards so he decides to look for you and he is determined to get what he wants. YOU

Buddha is a man who is extremely flexible and has no such thing as judgement or malice so he really doesn’t mind how chubby and thick you are. He thinks it’s actually cute since he can tell you’re happy with your body and don’t feel negative to yourself. However, if you want to change yourself, he’s there to help out

Buddha, unlike Poseidon, has seen black people more than once, since there is several multitude of racial members in his religion so he less finds your dark skin and other unqiue features as fascinating but more as pretty since you own your looks… he appreciates that

Buddha is an excellent teacher so he has the heart to care and try lead you. He may only move for himself but he puts you second in his heart so if you need him, he’s there. Even if it goes against his own wishes, you don’t agree with him but he wants to make you happy too

Buddha loves the way you act, cheeky snarky determined girlboss and he is proud of you completely. You’re the type of woman he likes, the one who don’t let anybody hurt her and stands up for herself, he definitely can see ya making a great co-leader, right by his side

Relationships may not be the most common thing for monks but Buddha doesn’t see any problem with breaking the rules, even his own rules. He is a rebel after all and he likes you, he strives for healthy emotions so love and happiness formed by you, reciprocated for you as well. You’re staying now

“Yo. Yo. How do I look? ‘Bad’?! Jokes on you, my lovely Lotus. I think I make a good detective~ Wanna go stalk the Gods with me? Yeah, yeah. We’ll be fine”

[messrsrarchives]

How are you so open to so many different ships but draw the line at dramione 😭 (no hate! Genuinely curious as both a drarry and Dramione shipper 🫶)

i can't even,,, i wish i could explain in my usual yappy way i dislike dramione but i can't. i,,, there's no words to describe how thick and well-drawn this line is i just HATE it so much. (prefacing here ofc that idc what people like or dislike none of this is real)

and i mean !! the creativity and commitment? impeccable. yk i really respect people who take the time to craft a character's personality to fit the dynamic! there's a lot of creativity that goes into erasing hermione entirely and forming her into an oc that wou- see i can't be yappy i am now entering aggressive territory

but essentially! enemies to lovers is a trope i won't read and yessss drarry is typically classified as that by most people but there's a big difference between drarry's rivalry and the way that's put forth in canon (blew my mind that harry was straight the first time i read the books) and literal oppression, harrassment and bullying and that's just,,, not a dynamic i like to read. or a situation i can see draco and/or hermione willingly being in without stripping away core parts of their character. we all know that hermione is used in a very self-inserty way (which also,,, yk go ahead! none of this is real i hope people are having fun with that) but it 😭😭 YK WHAT ENERGY IT GIVES ME? 😭😭 yk that one emma watson interview where she's like "he was a bit older, he had a skateboard, he was a bit of a bad boy" about tom felton? that's the energy it gives me of like "*debby ryan smile* i like them baddd"

and from what i have seen and engaged in, i don't fw the dark "romance" genre either. not a big fan of that. actually an avid hater of dark "romance".

and like it's fanfiction !!! i'm sure there's great ones out there, i'm sure people are able to write around the fact he literally says he wants her dead multiple times, watches her get tortured, mocks her appearance, bullies her, calls her a slur (am i forgetting anything?) and shape it into something else but i *personallyyyy* cannot. it gives when your parents told you little boys on the playground bullied you because they liked you and it's like,,, okay well i hate myself right now ! i guess this is what love feels like ! but also i see the appeallllll of like,,, a love that's pure enough and strong enough to defeat "evil" but omg.

okay. i'm done. ESSENTIALLY 😁☝🏻 i see the appeal vaguely but i, much like hermione, would have to be crafted into a completely different person to enjoy it because it's filled with everything i hate. (again, generalising. i'm sure there's decent ones out there but i do not care LOL)

romione? impeccable. i'm trying to think who else i've read hermione with? OH fred!? impeccable. really big into the idea of hermione and percy at the moment ! i've read pansmione and kinda fwed that but it's not my go to. romione is my forever and always

IDK MAN. my image of hermione would never. whereas drarry isn't the same dynamic, they were written with (albeit unintentional) subtext and harry wasn't a hatstall as such but the hat debateddd slytherin yk? and also,,, draco doesn't call him a slur for years YKKKKK

anyway ahem. live laugh love. stopping now before i rant and go too far but if i were to engage in anti culture? it would be anti-dramione. which i don't because i simply block the dramione tags everywhere and move on with my day but yk. enrages me actually. i can't do it.

[artists-ally]

{Flatline} OFC x Harvey Specter {Pt. 3)

Uh ohhhh guys it’s Pt. 3 🤭🤭🤭 I am so excited for this. It’s honestly one of my favorite things I’ve written and I hope you all agree. There is a poll at the end so make sure to vote for that <3 enjooyyyyy p.s. I hope this does good justice for this series.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Character Playlist

Word Count: 12,795

Warnings: language, angst, anxious thoughts, one singular mention of sexual h*r*ssm*nt in regards to Harvey’s actions with Claudia, smut 18+, the tiniest bit of food play, dom/sub dynamics, praise kink go brrr

***Italic sections indicate flashbacks***

Summary: The aftermath of Harvey breaking his promise to Claudia.

Tagging: @rosedpetal @maxdamax @ashcosmo

~~~~~~

HARVEY'S POV

My legs were numb. That sort of numbness when something happens that you can’t explain. It felt like my life just flashed before my eyes. That image of Claudia’s shaking lip… hearing her broken voice… I don’t think I’ll ever get it out of my fucking head. 

“Harvey, I requested those trades be made an hour ago. Do you wanna tell me why… Harvey?”

I could see Jessica in front of me, but I couldn’t hear a damn thing she said. 

“Harvey, what’s going on?” She closed the door, and I put a hand out to steady myself so I wouldn’t fall on the floor. “What happened?” “I fucked up,” I whispered. 

“Yeah, no shit. You tanked our only opportunity to get a leg up on this Gustoson case. You’re damn right you fucked up-”

“No no,” I sat on the arm of the chair. My hands began to shake so I folded them together. Jessica saw. 

“What the hell did you do?”

“I yelled at Claudia…”

She just blinked at me. “Is that seriously what you’re concerned about? Yelling at an associate? Okay, you yelled at an associate, what’s new? That might as well be in your job description.”

“No no no I didn’t just yell at her I threatened to do the one thing that I promised I would never do and now she’s gone. She left. I can’t- I don’t- I never meant to hurt her but she suggested that we file a motion to dismiss and I got so caught up in my anger about her accusing me of using her that I lost my-”

“Using her? Harvey, what is going on?” “I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Donna barged in. 

“Donna please don’t-”

“Harvey and Claudia have been ‘working together’ for the last month and a half, when in reality he has been a selfish, lying, arrogant brat who has crossed so many lines it’s beginning to look like a Rorschach Test.”

“You know?” I felt my heart suffocate myself. I thought I was gonna throw up.

“In all honesty Harvey, no I didn’t. Not until Claudia just broke down in the elevator and told me everything. I cannot believe that you would use her like that. For your own personal satisfaction are you out of your fucking mind?” “Harvey, what the hell is she talking about?” Jessica’s voice was full of hostility. 

“He thought that it would be a good idea to boost Claudia’s confidence by getting into her pants.”

“Donna it wasn’t-”

Jessica scoffed, covering her face. “What the hell is wrong with you? This has got sexual harassment written all over it, Havrey. Could you really be that delusional?”

“For fucks sake it wasn’t like that!” I screamed. Genuinely screamed and paced around. “I didn’t use her, not intentionally. God dammit I haven't been able to think clearly since the first day that I saw Claudia. She is an incredible lawyer and all I wanted to do was give her something else to focus on because she was afraid to be in a room with me. I just- all I wanted to do was help her find a little bit of confidence and oh my god this sounds so much worse when I say it outloud.”

Donna and Jessica exchanged a look while I slowly felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and stomped on the floor with cleats. 

“Okay Harvey, sit down and tell us what happened,” Donna steered me away from putting a hole in the wall to my desk.

“I don’t even know, Donna.” “Well while you two enjoy going down memory lane, I’ll be fighting for our firm's life. If you two don’t get your shit together, and by you two I mean Harvey, then… I don’t even know then.”

She all but slammed the door on her way out, patrons on the other side sending worried glances our way. I turned my chair so they wouldn’t see me. 

“How long has this been going on?” Donna asked. 

I dug my nails into my skin. “Almost two months.”

“Two months? Harvey, how could you not tell me?” “Because I didn’t want to,” I admitted. “And partly because I kind of thought you already knew. You know, the whole ‘Donna superpower’ shit you do.”

“I know I can’t believe I missed it,” she took the chair in front of me. I glared at her so hard I thought I’d light that hair of hers on fire. “Okay bad time for a joke. So, bachelor, why don’t you start from the beginning. And please, I don’t need to know the dirty details, despite my curiosity. Claudia is like a little sister to me and I really don’t want to picture you and her and oh my god I already am. Ugh, please start talking so I don’t have to be tortured.”

So dramatic. I was good looking, and so was Claudia. Why wouldn’t anyone want to picture us together? Then my eyes snapped to the chair she was sitting on. Oh god. Donna was in the chair that I was the first time Claudia and I-

“Get up,” I blurted out, reaching for her and placing her in my desk chair. God dammit we used that one too. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

We sat down on the couch and I rubbed my strained eyes. Here goes nothing. 

“When Sheila first sent over the recruits from Harvard, I interviewed all of them. Except for one. There were thirteen associates but I only had twelve meetings set up. So I asked Louis if he was interviewing any of the newbies and he said just one. Obviously this person was some sort of idiot to be going to Louis instead of me, so I popped in.”

“Well, Claudia I think that you have some unbelievable potential at this firm and I’d just like to- Harvey, what are you doing here I am in the middle of an interview.”

“Oh I know, I just wanted to drop by and see how it was going.”

In front of Louis was this warm, chestnut brown head of sleek, silk like hair. She was wearing a lavender blouse and a black maxi skirt with a slit to the knee. She had on these black flats with pearls on them. Summer had just ended, and there was some remaining sunburn on her nose and cheeks. Her eyes were surrounded by prominent lashes and eyebrows, a fine line of makeup between the two; lavender, to match the top. 

“It’s going great, now will you get the hell out and tend to your own interviews and stop barging in on my only one?”

“Harvey Specter,” I introduced, sticking out my hand. She looked from it over to Louis, who was just shooting me daggers. 

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”“Louis, I’m not trying to woo your associate, I’m just introducing myself to her. We are kind of name partners, you know. It’s the courteous thing to do.”

Again, all she did was look at my hand before slowly standing up. I didn’t miss the way she tried to subtly wipe her hand on her skirt. 

“I’m Claudia. Claudia Martin.”

God dammit that was a pretty name. It sounded so sophisticated, so mature and would sound really nice next to mine. Or with mine. Harvey Specter and Claudia Martin. I don’t know why I thought of hearing or seeing ‘Claudia Specter’ one day, but I did. And I didn’t hate the way it sounded. 

“Welcome to Pearson Specter Litt,” I gave a nice smile. It was clear she was already intimidated to be here, I didn’t need to add to that fire. She barely looked me in the eye for two seconds, but those two seconds made my head spin. 

She had the most gorgeous eyes I think I’ve ever seen in my life. They were amber in the middle but had this ring of hazel around the outer rim. It was just… not something I’ve ever seen before. I didn’t want her to look away because I just wanted to keep looking at them.

And that blush… that I knew wasn’t her sunburn. Not the way it creeped up the side of her face, or at the base of her neck. 

Jesus Harvey, stop staring at her. You’re probably giving off major stalker vibes.

“Well I’ll be around if you need anything, Claudia. Don’t be shy,” I smiled, the best charming one I could. Her full lips were in a tight line, her fingers picking at each other before she sat back down with Louis.

“Okay so you sabotaged Louis’ meeting with Claudia and thought she was beautiful? Why didn’t you just say that?” Donna interrupted. 

“Didn’t you ask me to start from the beginning?” She snapped her lips closed. “So let me tell the goddamn story. Yes, I thought she was stunning. I mean, no one in their right mind would think otherwise. She is so pretty and so smart and twice the person I wish I could be. There is just something about her that I can’t shake from my memory.”

“Yeah we get it, you’re head over heels for Claudia. Now on with it I don’t have all day.”

I rolled my eyes. 

“That was the first time I met her. It wasn’t long after that she started working here when I talked to her again. She was just sitting at her desk, Griffin and whoever else crowded around the opposite end of the bullpen. She was excluded and it made me feel bad.”

I’ve always thought Griffin would be at the top of my list for top associates. He was like me; only shorter, not as good looking, and had blue eyes instead of brown. Did I mention he wasn’t as good looking? Anyway, I had only one intention: get Claudia alone so I could talk to her.

Every day since she started a few weeks ago, I have watched her get off the elevator, walk through the office, and disappear around the corner. It wasn’t fair that she got to look like that, walk like that, and no one was around to appreciate it. 

She was so fucking eye catching. And I didn’t want the other slobs at this firm to get to her before I could.

“Claudia, do you mind helping me with something for a few minutes?” I asked, voice just loud enough for Griffin to hear. 

She looked up, pen cap between her rosy lips, and blinked. That flush creeped onto her cheeks. I tried not to smile. 

“Sure,” she nodded once and stood up, following me out. 

I was not so subtle with the look that I gave Griffin, and he wasn’t so subtle with the way he spoke.

“Is there something you need, Harvey? Claudia is in the middle of a very important depo documentation. I’d hate for her to fall behind.”

What a dick. “No, Griffin. It seems like you’ve got more important things to do with your book club than working on whatever Louis assigned you, so Claudia will work just fine. I prefer an actually hard working associate to someone who’s discussing whatever mediocre steak dinner you had at Texas Roadhouse last Wednesday.”

“Griffin’s eyes simmered and shot daggers into Claudia. But he didn’t open his mouth. I thought about punching him in the face for looking at her like that, and that’s when I realized I was fucked. That I was willing to do that for Claudia when it was literally the second time I’ve ever talked to her.”

“I’ll say,” Donna huffed. “What happened next?” “I just had her deliver some letters for me to the courthouse. I asked her something about Griffin, if they were ever acquainted with each other.”

“And what did she say?”

“She told me that Griffin was a total douchebag and tried to use his social status to get a leg up on her in class discussions, cutting corners to discredit her. It was so unfair and I just-”

Donna put a hand on my knee. “Relax, Harvey. Griffin isn’t here, stop looking like you want to put him through a wall.” “Well, Donna, I do want to put him through a wall because he has been an asshole to Claudia for no other reason than she was good at her job. It makes me sick.”

“When did you start becoming so protective of her? I’ve never seen you like this with anyone other than Mike, Louis, Jessica and myself. You must… really really care about her.”

“I think it was during the mock trial. She was always off to the side, always attentive, but never spoke up. I couldn’t stop myself from glancing over at her every once and a while to see if she wanted to be included. But she never did.”

“This case may seem simple, but the husband is a grade A asshole. He has done everything to cover his tracks and is gonna come at us with everything he’s got. Find me some evidence and make it good.”

They all branched off, heading this way and that. Claudia went to the only logical place, right to me.

“Hi, Mr. Specter-sir. I just have one question about-about the case if you’ve got a minute. If you have somewhere to be I understand and I can ask later,” she said quickly.

“Of course, what do you want to know?” I couldn’t help but think her stuttering was cute. I knew she was nervous, specifically around me; she always seemed so tense with me, so I made sure to always speak quietly and calmly with her. 

“Was Mr. Saros the one who paid off that investment banker? Did the money come from his account directly or a different one?”

God she was so good. “It came from him and his wife’s joint account.”

Claudia had a slight grin to her lips, and she nodded before striding away. She was going to crack this wide open. I just knew it. 

I went back to my office to wait it out, to see if any one could come up with an idea before Claudia. Before I knew it, it was three o'clock and I had a meeting to go to for another case Mike and I were working on. When we got in the car, Mike was looking at me with a knowing smile. 

“What?” 

He shook his head, “Nothing, just wondering how long you’re going to pretend you’re not in love with Claudia Martin.”

“The first year associate?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know who she is. I see you watch her like a starving animal every time she comes into the office. And every time she leaves. And every time she asks Donna something.”

Uh oh.

“Oh please, I have far better things to do than get involved with a first year.”

“You didn’t deny that you were in love with her.”

“Do you want to get smacked? Or I could kick you out of this car at sixty miles per hour, see how you like the taste of asphalt.” Mike did not know when to stop pushing my buttons. 

“I think you just proved my theory.”

“What theory?”

“That you are in love and you are incredibly protective of Claudia. I heard about what you said to Griffin when he offered his help because Claudia was ‘too busy’. You know he pawned that work off to her, right?”

My eyes narrowed and my jaw clenched, as well as my fists. I fixed my gaze out the window and took some deep breaths. Jesus… he had a point. A huge point. God dammit I’m in trouble.

“Mike knew before I did?” Donna sounded mildly offended. 

“Well, not really. I never told him what we were doing. But I did tell him that I liked her. And when he told me that Griffin was pawning off his work to Caudia it sent me into a spiral. Shit, Donna… I am in so deep with Claudia. I really fucked up. I mean really bad. I made a promise to her that I wouldn’t treat her like the other associates because she wasn’t like the other associates. She was Claudia. And Claudia was- is- so much better than the rest of them.” “Why would you make a promise like that if you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep it?” “I had every intention of keeping it, but then all the shit with started happening when Louis found out about Mike being a fraud and he took that fucking case with Gerard and I couldn’t hold it together.” “Why did you even make it in the first place?” Donna asked, but I really didn’t want to tell this story.

I sighed, the type of sigh that fills your whole body.

“I was going off on Griffin one day, for being an asshole to some of the other associates, about pawning off his work to Claudia and she saw.”

“Griffin, I don’t care whose idea it was. You were the one to destroy his work, so you’re going to face the consequences.”

“It was just a prank, the entire document wasn’t supposed to be deleted.”

“You think tampering with another associate’s work is a prank? I hope when you go home tonight you think long and hard about who you wanna be as a man because as of right now, there isn’t going to be anything for you to come back to tomorrow. And you better pray to whatever you believe in because if there’s one person you don’t want to make an enemy out of, it’s me. Do you understand that?”

He clenched his jax, shoving his hands in his pockets. “yes.”

“You are going to be Louis’ personal associate.”“No, no way you can make me work for that man. He’s a total airhead.”“Yes, he is, now you two have something to talk about. You can bond over your selfish, outrageous egotistical behavior, it’ll be just like looking in a mirror.”

“Harvey I’m-”

“I don’t care what you are Griffin. You have no right to treat the other associates like that, especially Claudia. If I ever catch wind of you throwing your work load on her again so help me God I will make sure it is the last thing you do at this firm.”

If my point wasn’t clear enough by my words, the look I gave him would certainly do. He left my office without another word and I followed his movements all the way. But my eyes met Claudia’s. And they were wide and panicked. She quickly scurried away, head down and steps fast. She looked so afraid. 

She wasn’t afraid of me was she? I mean, all I had done was rip Griffin a new one for being an asshole. And he deserved it, Claudia would never do something to deserve that kind of lashing. 

“And so I promised her. I fucking promised her that I would never flip out on her and then I went and did exactly. God Donna… I am so fucked up.”

Her slim hand rubbed up and down my shoulder, but I only wanted it to be Claudia’s. I wanted her right next to me so I could go through all of this with her and explain that it wasn’t just some fling. Not to me. Never to me. I never wanted it to be temporary, she was… she’s it for me. 

The familiar prick crept into my eyes, my nose, and the tears fell. Donna has only seen me cry a handful of times, but never over a girl.

But Claudia wasn’t just some girl. She wasn’t just some hookup or some prize to be won. She was Claudia Martin. My Claudia. The quiet, shy first year associate I had worked so hard to get out of her shell. It wasn’t just for my pleasure, I truly didn’t want to see her fall behind just because she couldn’t ask me a question.

I saw that look in her eye; hunger and determination. Just like mine. I wanted it to shine brighter than her smile. Which was equally as devastating as her work in the courtroom. But I just wanted her to feel comfortable around me and I didn’t know what else to do. She was like a frightened baby deer around me. A constant nervous wreck at the drop of my name. I didn’t want her to be afraid of me, I wanted nothing more than to be a safe space for her. 

And maybe it’s just because I’m an idiot, but I’m realizing now that maybe I’m the one who needed the safe place. To just have someone to go to all the time. To share all of my proud moments and sneak little kisses and touches here and there. 

I need Claudia. I need her.

Maybe I took it too far. Started at the wrong place. I should’ve offered to take her out to dinner instead of inviting her up for a drink in my office after her first case. I shouldn’t have done it so backwards, and it kills me that I’m only drawing that connection now. Why couldn’t I have thought of that earlier? She would’ve been so much better off without all the backwards, fucked up shit that I did.

But it was so nice. To finally have the one thing I have been craving for so long. She was so soft, and she was so sweet under my touch and I couldn’t help myself. As soon as I first kissed her it was end game. I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. I wouldn’t ever kiss anyone again, not the way I kissed Claudia. More than lust. More than just a desire. 

Her lips on mine made my head go blank. I had an awful habit of having work thoughts creep their way into my head every once in a while. But never with her. Even when we were only talking about work, I couldn’t think about it. I only thought about her. About how brilliant she was, about how soft and warm and perfect her lips were on mine. About how she always made me feel at ease and comforted. I doubt she could ever make anyone afraid. Except maybe an opposing counsel. 

If I ever had to face her in court… I know I’d lose. For one, I’d give her anything she wanted simply because she could put me on my knees with a single look. And normally I’d hate to let a woman have that much control over me, but for Claudia… I’d let her do whatever she wanted. And Second, she knows what to do. All the time. She never misses a beat, and is always listening. Even when you think she isn’t.

I am so in love with Claudia. I felt my heart crack open. My voice more or less does the same. 

“Harvey…” “I am in love with her, Donna. And I think I have been for a long time.”

She was quiet, and a throat cleared. Mike was there in front of me, his hands in his pockets, a look of worry on his face. “Is everything alright?”

I saw Donna shake her head out of the corner of my eye. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she wanted to. 

“I broke my promise to Claudia.” That was all I said. I heard his sharp inhale, and he came and sat in front of us. “God dammit Mike… I really messed up. I hurt the one person I couldn’t afford to and- and I don’t know what to do.”

“Go talk to her,” Mike said. “If you’re serious about how you feel about Claudia, then you need to go tell her that it was never… whatever you were doing before. She has anxiety, Harvey. She is going to let her brain tell her things about you that aren’t true. And you need to be there to soothe the fire before it does irreversible damage.” “Well, what do you and Rachel do when you get into an argument?” 

“Harvey,” Donna said, “You aren’t Mike, and Claudia isn’t Rachel. Whatever they do might not work for you. You need to do what feels right for you and your relationship.” “I don’t know if you know this Donna, but I haven’t done something like this before. I don’t know how to talk to her. How to not make her anxious around me.” “We’ll help you,” Mike nods, as well as Donna. “We can come up with a plan but right now we’ve got a bigger problem on our hands.” What could be more devastating than hurting Claudia? 

Nothing. The answer was nothing.

____

CLAUDIA’S POV

I toed off my shoes, leaving them in the growing pile by my front door. I sighed at it. Why couldn’t they just put themselves away? 

My splitting headache was doing nothing to help either. 

Before I could even get a thought about what I could cook for dinner, the doorbell rang. I swear to god if Greg was here asking me about those flowers on my wreath again I was going to smack him with it, throw it over his head and shove him back inside his apartment and-

“Claudia, it’s Mike. I know you’re here, can we talk?”

Mike? What the hell is he doing here? 

I seriously debated giving my best housekeeper impression and deadbolting the door. But it was Mike, and he hadn’t done anything to deserve a cold shoulder. Oh god, what if Harvey was with him and I was getting set up? Oh shit.

“No, Harvey isn’t with me. I promise.”

I stalked to the door, pulling it open and glaring up at Mike. “The last time someone made me a promise I regretted it.” He just pressed his lips in a flat line. “What are you doing here, Mike?”

“I’m here on behalf of Harvey.” “Why?” “Because he’s worried about you.” Why is he worried about me? He made it very clear he didn’t give a shit about me. “He’s beating himself up over what he did.”

“Good,” that I didn’t restrain. 

“Claudia, he is really shaken up right now. He didn’t mean to do what he did. Now, I’m not going to stand here and pretend I know all the details about what he did but-” “He used me, Mike. Plain and simple.” All I got was a raised eyebrow. “He told me he wanted to ‘build my confidence’ which I was actually naive enough to believe, and it led to my worst fucking nightmare. But he just got what he wanted, to get his dick wet and then was done with me.”

“Claudia, trust me, it wasn’t like that. Harvey would never use you like that. He wouldn’t dream of it, trust me.”

“Are you sure because it seems like that’s exactly what he did. He saw that I was hard working, manipulated me into working with him, and treated me like shit when I was just trying to find a solution to his goddamn problem. I have more self respect than that. To let him continue to get away with that.”

“Can I ask what he did?”

My throat closed, and my palms began to sweat. I knew my annoying blush was there by the way his eyes dipped to my neck. 

“After I won my first case with him, he invited me up to his office for some drinks. Said something along the lines of wanting to get to know each other so I didn’t have to feel so nervous. So I went up, and one thing led to another and… I don’t know why I let it happen. I knew it would end badly. I can’t believe I let myself believe that he would be into me beyond anything other than his pure primal satisfaction. But he seemed so genuine and so caring. Like he genuinely wanted to help me, and some part of me obviously thought it was a good idea because it happened again. And again. And again. God, I sound like the biggest loser right now.” “No you don’t,” Mike gave me a soft smile. “If it means anything, those feelings weren’t one sided. I know it doesn’t mean much of anything coming from me but… Harvey is really really fucking sorry about what he did.”

I was physically shaking. Through my trembles, I managed to speak, despite my thoughts trying to shut me down. “It hurt so bad, Mike. I really like Harvey, and I thought he might feel the same way. I guess I was wrong. So… so wrong.”

“No, Claudia you’re not wrong. Harvey is a grade A asshole but he wouldn’t-”

“If there is any chance of Harvey sorting this out, you need to tell him to grow a set and tell me himself,” I have no idea where this confidence came from. “He needs to stop getting other people to do his job for him. If he can’t recognize that now, of all times, then… then I don’t think he deserves me.”

Mike blinked long, rubbing his fingers over his mouth. “Harvey didn’t ask me to come here.” “What?” What? 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I knew Harvey wouldn’t come tonight. I’m not sure he’ll come at all but… Claudia, he talks about you like I’ve never seen him talk before. He gushes over you to the point where it’s annoying. And when I went to go and talk to him about what our next move was for this case… Claudia, he was crying. He was sobbing with Donna in his office and-”

Good, I wanted to say. But it kind of crushed my soul. Harvey was crying over what he did to me. 

“I’ve never seen him cry before,” Mike looked hurt, too. “He regrets what he said. I know he does.”

“I believe you.”

“Good,” he nods. “I don’t want to do his job for him and I think-”

“But that doesn’t mean I will forgive him for what he said,” and with that, I closed the door, locking it for the night.

_____

Saturday and Sunday were so agonizing. The last thing I wanted to do was go into an office after a weekend of anything but rest and relaxation. I was tired and hadn’t showered and needed some restful sleep. Not to be woken up three times a night by dreams of Harvey touching me. Those certainly didn’t help. 

My mind kept replaying our first time together. Specifically when he said 'Oh, Claudia, you really are that innocent, aren’t you?’ Innocent and naive… just like he said that night. Who was I to think that Harvey would take any interest in me besides the fact that I was good at being a lawyer? I wasn’t special in any way, I think he just knew that I was easy to manipulate into doing what he needed. 

There was no way in hell I’d ever do another thing for Havrey, the all powerful jackass, Specter again.

As I set my stuff on my desk, Griffin walked up. Great. Just great, what did this prick want?

“Hey umm… Hi Claudia,” he rubbed the back of his head. “I just- I’m sorry. About all the things I’ve done to you. You didn’t deserve it and I want you to know that you have always been six-times the lawyer I wish I could be. I was jealous and took it out on you. And I shouldn’t have so… I’m sorry.”

Did I just hear that right? Did Griffin Harper just apologize to me? What the fuck is going on?

“Oh,” great way to start, idiot. “Thank you, Griffin.”

He just gave me a short nod before scurrying away. Well, that was… unexpected. Certainly I couldn’t ever let us be friends, but it was nice to know he wasn’t my mortal enemy any longer. 

I went about my business, plagued with thoughts and reminders of Harvey ever which way I went. Louis and Jessica sent me an email with some files to print out so I scanned them, proofed them, and sent them to the printing room. 

God it sent a shiver down my spine to be back in here after he… don’t finish the thought don’t finish the thought-

“Hey, Claudia,” Donna snapped me out of my heated thoughts. “How are you?” “You can cut the bullshit now, Donna.”

She sighed, “it was a genuine question.” “And that was a genuine answer. I’m not in the mood.”

“Claudia-” “No, Donna. What Harvey did wasn’t okay, and I’m not going to stand here and pretend like what he did didn't hurt. Because it did and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since. I don’t need you here to remind me.”

“Have you ever considered that Harvey may want to fix it?”

“No, Donna. I haven’t. And I’m not going to,” I stood my ground, squaring off my freshly printed papers before making more copies for Louis. 

“What are you talking about?”

I scoffed. “Do you really think that I wouldn’t figure out what was going on?” “Again, what are you-” “I know Harvey just thinks that I am gullible and naive and easy to push around because he makes me nervous. And it’s true. Whenever I am near him I can’t keep myself composed and I’m sick and tired of being walked all over. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to let myself see otherwise, but I’m even more upset that you didn’t come clean and tell me.” “Claudia, no one is walking over you. And I didn’t know about any of this until you told me on Friday. Harvey came to you because he knew can rely on you and your abilities to get things accomplished. He wanted the chance to work with you and get you to trust him a little. You have to know that by now,” Donna was standing right next to me, blocking my way out. 

“Maybe I do, but that doesn’t mean that I believe it. Donna, I am not some corporate power house that is gonna bring firms to their knees. Not like he does.” “Nobody does what Harvey does.” “And that’s my point,” I grit my teeth. “Harvey was trying to make me into a mini version of him, just like he did with Mike and it’s not what I want to be. Donna, I am not assertive. I am not reckless and willing to go behind peoples backs to get the job done. I like rules and regulations and the law. They are there so people abide by them, and Harvey, more often than not, doesn’t do that. Yes, I look up to him as a role model because I admire his tenacity. But that doesn’t mean I like or agree with the things he does.”

“And you think that I like it when he goes and cuts someone’s legs out from under them?”

“I didn’t say that. But that means you know how I feel. I can’t- I don’t… I don’t want to be around someone like that. It makes me feel like I’m suffocating. And worst of all he gave me his word that he wouldn’t lash out and treat me like the other associates. I cant believe that I was stupid enough to believe that Harvey would-“

Both of us stopped as someone pushed through the door. 

Harvey…

“Donna,” Harvey’s mouth was pressed in a flat line. He jerked his head over his shoulder. Donna gave me a sympathetic look and turned on her heel. Where was she going?

“Wait, Donna don’t-” I whispered.

“You’ll be fine,” she gave me a firm look, patting my shoulder as she walked around Harvey. Oh my god… she set me up.

My heart felt like it was ripping out of my fucking chest. The last thing I needed right now was to be in an enclosed space with Harvey.

He stared at me, fussing with the cufflink on his shirt. “Claudia.” “I’m sorry, Mr. Specter, but I have to get these to Louis.” I tried to go around him, like Donna had, but he just let his body fall against the wall. Blocking the way. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him and ask him to let me go. 

“I want you to listen to me.” His voice was stern, in a demanding way, but not in a pissed off way. 

“No, I am in a rush. Now if you’ll excuse me-”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “Come on, Claudia. Please just talk to me. I tried to call you but you didn’t answer and-.”

“I know, but I don’t want to talk to you. I want you to get out of my way so I can go do my job.” 

“A little feisty today, aren’t we?” He pushed off his shoulder, taking a step towards me, I took one back. And another as he took one. 

“No, I need to-” “Get those copies to Louis, I heard you,” Harvey acknowledged, but didn’t stop walking closer to me. My back eventually hit a copier and I almost fell over, but Harveys arms came to either side of my body, blocking me in. “And I don’t care.”

His face was inches from mine, chest inches from mine. I felt desperate for a breath. I forgot how to think, how to appear unphased. Everything he’s taught me has vanished from my mind. His eyes, much darker in this low over-head light, seemed to pierce my soul. 

“What… What are you doing?” My voice was barely audible. 

“I want you to know that I wouldn’t ever, ever, take advantage of you like that. I can’t even believe that you would think that. You think I enjoy making you a nervous wreck? Well, I don’t. It honestly makes me sick that even after all this time, you can’t trust me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you.”

“Then what is it? Because clearly I am not understanding,” his tone deepened, voice scratching in his throat. 

I couldn’t- I didn’t know how to admit to him-

“I- I umm… Mr. Specter I can’t-”

“Stop calling me that, please, Claudia. Stop seeing me as your boss for one second and see me as literally anything else.”

I swallowed. Nothing went down. “Harvey… you are… you scare me more than anyone else I’ve ever met.” “Why?” his brows knit together. “What is it about me that makes you so afraid of me?”

“Everything.” I was shaking, visibly shaking in front of him. I looked anywhere but his eyes because I knew if I did I’d crack open and bleed my heart all over him. 

His exhale was sharp enough to rustle the small hairs framing my face. “Claudia just-”

“I can’t be around you without feeling like I’m gonna drown in your presence.” 

He was stunned silent for a beat too long. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Harvey I told you I didn’t want to-”

“Please, Claudia, tell me why you are so afraid of me.” He was begging. Begging for me to explain.

“Because I know that if I let myself think for one fucking second that you actually like working with me I’ll drop my guard around you. And I cannot afford to do that because there are things I keep locked inside that I would rather take to my grave than ever let someone know.”

“And what, you don’t think I’m equally as terrified to have these feelings for you?” “Not like mine.” Harvey gave me a very concerned glance. “There, you asked me to tell you. Please just let me go.”

“No, not until you tell me what is haunting you so much you’re willing to let it eat you alive rather than just let it out for once in your life. Look, I get that you’re a private person, and it’s hard for you to trust people, but that doesn’t mean you need to keep everything bottled inside and let it rot you from the inside out-”

“For the love of guard Harvey it’s you,” I shouted, far louder than I meant to. “It is you that is driving me insane. I cannot go a single moment of my day without thinking about you. I am terrified that you are going to see right through me and figure out that every thought that goes on inside my head has to do with you because for some reason, known only by some sick and twisted higher power, I want you to see me the way I see you. I want you to want me as much as I want you and-”

I stopped because I ran out of air. And then it hit me so hard I saw stars. What the fuck have I just done? My vision began to black out, my heart beating too fast for my lungs to keep up with. 

Harvey had backed up a step, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. 

I was going to throw up, I was sure of it. I tried to speak, but my mind had melted and oozed out of my ears. 

I ran, I left the copies on the floor; at some point I dropped them. And ran. His hand caught my elbow and I shrieked, whipping around just as Harvey slammed the door closed, pinning me, yet again. 

“You do not get to drop that ball and run away,” his voice had a darkness I’ve never heard. “Claudia, in what way do you want me?”

Frozen. My mind was utterly dysfunctional and useless. I couldn’t think, I’m surprised I remembered how to breathe. God his eyes…

“Claudia, please answer me.” Now his voice was tender, filled with warmth. His fingers tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. “You have to tell me in what way now or I’m… you have to tell me.”

“Why does it matter? I've already ruined everything I’ve had going for me.” I was meek with my words. Wimpy. Cowardice. 

“Because it matters to me.”

“I want you, I want Harvey.”

“As in you want me, and not as your boss, Claudia?” He clarified. I had to shut my eyes, to turn my cheek to him so I wouldn’t see his reaction when I nodded in confirmation. “Fucking hell…”

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Just… just let me go and I can hand Jessica my letter of resignation right now and you never have to see me again-”

“Are you out of your mind?” Harvey’s caramel eyes were wide. “Claudia, I don’t want you to go. Not for one fucking second. Why do you even have a letter drafted?”

“But I just-” 

His fingers gripped my chin, forcing me to look up at him when I spoke. God dammit… Harvey’s thump caressed my lip, pulling it down and watching it spring up. Slowly, ever so slowly, he dipped it inside my mouth. I couldn’t help the soft noise that startled out of me. 

“Claudia… you have no idea how much I have been praying to hear you say those words. I have been driving myself out of my mind with what to say. How to say it and I- I don’t know how to tell you everything I’ve been wanting to. For weeks now.

“I have been thinking of you nonstop. I keep making up excuses and things to come see you during the day. I want nothing more than to get the chance to treat you right, and I want you to want it too. I promised myself I wouldn’t make a move unless you made one first because I knew how petrified you were of me. I can’t- I won’t have you be afraid of me if we do this.

“But I fucked up. I got ahead of myself and I didn’t go in the direction that I should've. I should've just asked you out to dinner, been a true gentleman rather than selfish. You have no idea how long I have been practicing what to say. I just made everything so much worse. And I wish like hell I could take it all back and do it all again because I am so so so fucking sorry for breaking my promise.”

I stared up at him, at the tears spilling over his lashes, and the flush on his cheeks. His lip quivered. He looked so vulnerable. So open and honest. Every part of me wanted to take it to heart, but that voice in the back of my head was telling me not to believe it.

“Harvey I-”

“Please, Claudia,” Harvey knelt to the ground, sitting back on his heels. “I will do whatever you want to gain your trust back. Anything… anything. But I can’t let you walk away from me. I want a real chance to make you happy, to give you every part of me. I will do or say or answer whatever you want but please do not leave me. If you truly don’t want me, tell me, and we never have to talk again. I will make it like I was never here in the first place if you told me to, but I don't think you want that. And I don’t want it either.”

Harvey was on his knees. Begging me to open my heart up to him. 

“Please don’t make me regret this, Harvey…”

He let out a breath, and a smile accompanied the tears that fell down his face. He reached for my hand, and I let him grab it. His fingers were warm and smooth in mine, familiar and comforting as he gently tugged me towards him. 

“I'm so sorry, Claudia. I will regret nothing more than the words I said to you. But I want to fix it, I want to be better. Not just for you, but for myself. But you are what makes me want to be better. I need to learn to control myself and take a page out of my own book to make that happen.”

Harvey rested his head on my stomach, and I let my fingers thread through his spiky hair. 

“But I don’t want you to be afraid of me anymore. I can’t- I won’t let you be afraid to ask me a question. I want to be there for you, work related or not, but I can’t do it if you don’t meet me halfway. I do remember you making me a promise back, to not see me as a monster.”

My hand stopped, and he looked up. I wanted to agree, but I was still upset, and he must’ve seen that. 

“Okay, that was a bad time to bring that up.”

“Yup.” 

Harvey huffed a laugh, standing back up. His smile was sweet, his finger gentle as it swept some hair away from my face. 

“You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, Claudia Olivia Martin.”

“How did you find out my middle name?”

“Donna,” he smiled wider. I just rolled my eyes. “I don’t really know how to do any of this, so I asked her for some help. I knew I had to do it myself. I just didn’t really know where to start and she’s… well, she’s Donna.” “Yes, she is Donna,” I smiled up at him. “But it’s gonna take me more than that to convince me.”

“Oh I have like seven other things lined up and ready to go. If you'd like to hear them. First, you are the most stunning, breathtaking, gorgeous woman I have ever met in my life. Second, I admire every part of you. All your good habits, your bad, your anxious thoughts and brave approach to life. Because they all make you you. Three, I am the biggest fucking idiot. For starting all of this off wrong, for yelling at you. For leading you to believe that I just wanted to get in your pants.”

“You’re also an asshole. A bit of a coward and a bitch. Did I say that you were an asshole?”

“Okay okay,” he placed his hands on my hips and I let him, doing nothing to hide the giggle that bubbled out. “Yes, I am all of those things. And, for the record, I did want to get in your pants, just not that way.”

“Of course you did, who could resist all of this?” My heart sped up when he looked at me over, a huge grin spreading his cheeks wide and bright. 

“Looks like you’ve gained a little confidence, huh?”

“Well, I did have a not so awful teacher. That was before he betrayed me.” “Are you gonna stop rubbing salt into the wound?”

I faked a ponder, “Nope.”

“Claudia,” he pressed a tentative kiss to my cheek, then gauged my response before placing one on the other. “Olivia,” another kiss. “Martin.” He kissed my forehead, then the tip of my nose. “I will never be able to take back what I said, but I hope you find it in your heart to give me a second chance. Even good people are great at making bad decisions. I know I can be a better man, and I know you know that too. Just one,” a kiss to my left cheek, “More,” right cheek, “Chance.”

His lips hovered over mine, waiting for permission before he pressed them into mine. My heart was beating so fast. So strong, all because of him. All for him. 

My eyes met his, “Okay, Harvey.”

Those devastating eyes ignited. His smile grew so wide I got lost in it with my own. I was pressed flat to him, my hands on his shoulders, his hands on my lower back. My ears were buzzing with my pulse and I hoped he felt how fast it was. Who knew Harvey had such a way with words? I wondered how long he practiced all of this in the mirror. Who knows, maybe he was secretly a hopeless romantic and-

“Claudia,” Harvey snapped me out of my daydream. 

“Hmm?” “Please tell me I can kiss you.”

Oh. Right. 

“And what if I say no?”

“Then I won’t.”

“And if I say yes?” “I’ll make sure it is the best damn kiss you’ve ever and will ever have.”

Sounds pretty good to me. I pressed up on my toes, arms wrapping around his neck, and finally let our lips say hello. It had been too long, It felt so right, so perfect. And I realized it felt like all the other times we’ve kissed; I didn’t want to kiss anyone else. I wanted to kiss Harvey. Harvey goddamn Specter. 

I should find out what his middle name is from Donna to surprise him. 

“Come over tonight,” he blurted out.

“What?” “Come over, let me cook something for you. We can make it our first date. A real date. Let me start this off on the right foot. Unless tonight is too soon and you need more time to heal and process or-”

“Just stop talking,” I literally put my fingers over his mouth. “I’d love to come over for dinner, Harvey.”

If I hadn’t been in his arms I’m sure he’d jump up and down out of excitement. He kissed me again, and again, and again. The slight stubble on his chin tickled my neck enough for me to tuck down into my shoulders when he kissed below my ear. 

“Hey, Claudia, I just want to make sure- oh. Well, this seems to be going well,” Donna had a proud smile on her face, arms crossed over her chest.

“It is,” Harvey beamed down, never taking his eyes off of me. 

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.”

“How much of this was your idea?” I asked. 

“I suggested he get a horse and carriage to surprise you on your way out but he knew you wouldn’t want a grand gesture,” She said. “So I think that should say it well enough as to who came up with all the ideas.” When I looked back at him, he had a flush to his cheeks, and hid his grin. 

“Wow, Harvey, I’m impressed.” “Well,” he shrugged. “I don’t know… I wanted it to be authentic and special. Something that you would take to heart and genuinely appreciate. So it’s the best I could come up with over the weekend because if I didn’t do it soon I was going to explode.”

“Seriously, Claudia. This idiot wouldn’t leave my house for two days. I had to kick him out so he could get a shower and change. Did you even sleep?” “You haven’t slept?” He shook his head. “Harvey, what- okay. We need to do our dinner another day because if you try to cook you might set your house on fire and that would-” “Nope, too bad. I’m fine, really Claudia. I can handle making dinner. I’ll leave early and take a nap if that would make you feel better.” “Yes, it would,” I sighed out, looking back at Donna who had a look that meant trouble. “What?” “You guys are adorable.”

I blushed. “Oh, wait! Before you go, what’s Harvey’s middle name? I mean, he went to you for mine so it’s only fair…”

“Don’t you dare,” Harvey pointed at Donna who all but melted the Wicked Witch of the West with her smirk.

“Reginald.”

“Reginald?” I repeated. “Seriously?”

“It’s a family name, alright?” He defended. “Now, if you two will excuse me I have a very important dinner to plan for an even more important girl. Donna, can you-” “Already cleared your schedule.”

“Remind me to give you a raise.” “Oh I’ve already written a bonus check, it just needs your signature.” “I’m surprised you didn’t forge it,” I snickered. 

“I would’ve but having Harvey do it makes it that much more satisfying.”

Harvey just shook his head, but smiled at us both. “I’ll see you tonight, is seven good?” “Sounds perfect,” I nodded, relishing in his warmth as he pressed one more kiss to the top of my head before leaving. 

“So,” Donna swayed on her feet. “I take it that things went well?” “Yeah, yeah it did. I was surprised, today has been so weird. Even Griffin apologized to me.” “Griffin? Really?” “Yeah,” I followed in step behind her towards the bullpen. “He genuinely apologized to me. It was so unexpected. Now this… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dreading this happening. But it turned out way better than I expected so I can’t complain. I need to stop expecting the worst case scenario all the time and believe that I can handle anything that comes at me.”

“Now that sounds like true growth and confidence,” Donna slung her arm over my shoulder. “And definitely something Harvey couldn’t have taught you.” “No, he didn’t. That was all on my own.”

___

As I packed up to head home for the day, my stomach was on fire with nerves about tonight. Not nerves, excitement. 

“Hey, Claudia,” Griffin caught up to me right before the elevator closed. “Do you want to join us for drinks tonight?”

I just smirked. “Sorry, Griffin. I can’t, I have a date with Harvey Specter.” And I let the door shut before he could get on.

____

This building. For fucks sake his front door cost more than what I make in a year, probably. The door man had given me a bit of a side eye when I asked to be let up to Harvey. Well, here I was. 

The bottle of wine in my hand wasn’t getting any colder as I paced outside of his apartment. Was I making this a bigger deal than it needed it to be? Most definitely. 

I knocked. 

Harvey opened it a few moments later, a smug look on his face. “I was wondering how long you were going to just stand there.”

God dammit. The heat rose up my neck and I looked away. “Just shut up and take the wine.”

He chuckled, plucking it from my grasp before stepping aside to let me in. I gazed up and into his hallway, following it down to the kitchen. Woah… holy windows. The already set sun lit up the sky with blues and purples, making all of this feel very cinematic. 

“You didn’t need to bring this, Claudia,” Harvey smiled nonetheless. 

“I just- I don’t know, isn't that what people do when they’re invited over?”

“Why are you still so nervous?” 

Right to it, I guess. “What makes you say that?” “Well,” he sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. He was wearing all black. He looked… too good for his own good. Or mine for that matter of fact. “For starters, you’ve clearly been running your fingers through your hair. Second, I’ve watched you fiddle with that string on your sleeve at least four times now.”

My fingers ceased their motion. I had been toying with it. “I like to keep my hands busy.”

“I call it a nervous habit.”

“Did you invite me here for dinner or just to pick on me for being anxious?” 

“You have no reason to be anxious here,” he crept closer, taking my hand in his. Harvey gently kissed the back of my fingers. “There is no one here to watch, no prying eyes to hide from. It’s just me, Claudia.”

“And that is precisely what makes me nervous,” I did let a laugh bubble up. “But, you’re right. I guess there is no reason to be so… terrified.”

“Good,” he smiled, placing his hands on my hips. I let mine fall around his shoulders. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” I turned to look behind me, a few pots and a pan of vegetables on the stove. Harvey’s hands still lingered on my sides as I peered over to look inside.

“I didn’t know the great Harvey Specter could cook,” I jabbed, making him roll his eyes playfully. “It looks lovely, thank you.”

“Told you, there’s more to the name than the title it comes with.”

From the table, I watched him plate the stir fry dish and bring it over. I was starving, and I made sure to eat my lunch a little later so I wouldn’t be ravenous by the time this dinner rolled around. I wasted no time taking a forkful and practically inhaling it. 

“I’ll take that as a good sign?” 

I nodded, “It’s amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?” “Here and there. My brother owns a bar and restaurant back home, we used to like to cook together all the time.” “I didn’t know you had a brother,” I tilted my head. “That’s amazing, though. Glad you put those skills to good use.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

I hummed, “Yeah I have two brothers. I’m the baby of the family.”

“Am I going to have to win their trust one day?” 

My laugh echoed through the spacious dining room, “No, they’re pretty cool. Vince, my oldest brother, is married, has two kids who are in college. My other brother, Caleb, is the one you’ve gotta watch out for. He’s my twin and very vocal about the men in my life, especially when he doesn’t think they’re good enough for me.”

“I see,” Harvey gave me a look I knew all too well. 

“Yeah, he can be a pain in my ass sometimes. But I love him, he always stood up for me when I was too afraid. Whether someone was picking on me in school or tried to get one up on me at a bar, he was always there. He’s just protective of me, they both are, but Caleb… he’s always had my back.” “It’s good to have those types of people on your side,” Harvey’s smile was so bright. 

For about an hour we ate and had dessert. I don’t know how, he probably asked Donna, but he had my absolute favorite chocolate cake. Coated in a thick butter cream, it practically melted in my mouth. I wasn’t shy about telling him how delicious it was. 

“I could marry this cake,” I knew I was being dramatic, but I didn’t care. “If I could take this cake, and mold it in the shape of a man, I would.”

Harvey grinned, looking from the cake on his plate, back up to me as I spooned another mouthful. He dipped his finger in the frosting and swiped it across his cheek. I blushed, so hard, and he just laughed and laughed. 

“You think you’re funny, huh?” I had to put my face in my hands. 

“I do, actually. Why don’t you come over here and clean it off for me,” Harvey spoke dangerous words. I raised my eyebrow in question, but he merely scooted his chair back in response, palms turned upward. 

Now or never, I thought. 

I stood, my bare feet padding quietly to Harvey. This is where I had confidence. Could use his own game against him. Because up until this point, all Harvey knows about me is that I am a nervous wreck in front of him. 

The cards have no longer been dealt in his favor. 

I swung my leg over his, perching on his thigh. I took my thumb and ran it across his face, collecting the decorative icing off his cheek, licking my thumb clean. His eyes tracked my movements, especially when I stuck out my tongue and showed him the mess.

His throat bobbed, and his eyes darkened. 

“Where did that shy, blushing Claudia go?�� Harvey’s voice sent a chill down my spine. 

“Away, for now,” I smirked. “There are plenty of versions of Claudia you haven’t met before.”

“And who exactly is this version?” He asked.

“That depends,” I huffed. “Are you going to let me have what I want or are you going to make me earn it?”

Harvey’s hands crept up my thighs, cupping my ass gently. “You’re gonna let me choose?”

“You better choose carefully.”

“And why is that?”

“Because,” I said. “You can either let me take what I want, or try to take what you want. But I’ll let it be known, that isn’t possible. You won’t be able to resist me long enough to uphold that promise.”

“Oh, you think I’m that easy?” Harvey countered, tightening his hold on my body. I let out a whine, enticing him into my game further. 

“I don’t know, Harvey.” I ran my hand down his chest, grinding back and forth on his thigh. I leaned close to his ear, “I can be your every fantasy or your worst nightmare.”

I pulled away from his body, taking a few steps back and towards another hallway. I assumed that’s where his bedroom was, and judging by the screeching of the chair against the floor, I was heading in the right direction. 

The first door I pushed open was, thankfully, the right room. His clothes were hung up neatly in the closet on the opposite side of the room, the city below shining onto the walls. Harvey shut the door quickly, turning on a lamp beside his bed. 

Harvey grinned like the devil and crushed his mouth to mine. I didn’t waste any time letting his tongue tangle with mine. Harvey kissed like the god he was, like a true emperor. He tasted like pure sin, like the cake we were just sharing.

My hands went to the buttons on his shirt, fitting them through the tiny holes and pushing it off his shoulders. 

“Mmm wait, sweetheart,” Harvey broke our lips apart. “I don’t wanna do it this way tonight. Let me take care of you. Please.”

Well, when he sounded like that, who was I to resist him? I let him lay me down, his body between my legs as he placed the most tender kiss on my lips. He moved down my chest, slowly lifting my shirt and placing his mark on my stomach. Up my chest, and my neck. 

“You are so beautiful, Claudia. And I can’t believe I get to have all of you to myself. I can’t wait to make you feel so good.”

I sighed out, letting my eyes close as he explored my body. He was forward with his choices, but he wasn’t ever harsh. He was so soft. So loving and so caring. No one had ever made me feel equally nervous or excited as Harvey did. But now… I wasn’t afraid of him. I don’t think I could ever again. 

“Is it okay if I take these off?” “I wasn’t sure you knew how to ask for permission,” I giggled. He just scowled, but I nodded. “Of course, Harvey. Do whatever you want.” “Don’t-” he swallowed. “Don’t say things like that when I am trying to be sweet and nice to you.”

“I think you’re forgetting that I like it when you manhandle me,” I smiled up to the ceiling before looking at him between my legs. “Sorry, carry on.”

He laid a not so gentle tap to the inside of my thigh before removing my skirt. The chill of the air spread goosebumps across my skin, even more when he placed kisses from my ankle to my hips bone. 

“God I could spend all day between your legs. They’re so perfect,” he praised, spreading them wide so he could fit his torso between them. “You’re so fucking hot, Claudia.” I flushed, beet red, and turned away from him. But his fingers brought me right back. 

“You don’t get to be shy now, sweetheart. Not tonight, let me see all of you.”

“I’m all yours Harvey.” Our eyes locked, and the sparks flew. His lips were on mine, hurried, but not starving. It was intense and passionate and everything I could’ve asked it to be. He lifted my shirt over my head and slipped off my bra from behind. Thankfully his chest was warm against mine.

From one second to the next, Harvey swooped me on top of him and rolled, tugging the sheet with him. When they were freed, he laid me back down and put them over his body. 

“Oh, guess I should get these off,” he grinned, pushing his jeans down his thighs, his briefs going with them. Man… what a sight to behold. Harvey wasn’t shredded, but it was clear his boxing habits kept him in good shape. 

There was something about him that just made me want to crumble and fold. 

Harvey’s lips were hot as they moved all over me, nipping and biting and leaving tiny marks here and there. Before he could lose all his resolve, he reached over to his bedside table and plucked a foil packet from a little jar. Classy. 

“Doing okay, sweetheart?” He smoothed down my hair. 

“Yes, Harvey. I’d be better if…” I locked my legs around his middle, pulling him to me. “You just got on with it.” “Such an impatient little thing,” his grin gave away his facade. 

“Oh please, don’t act like you’re not craving this as much as I am.” “You’re right,” he smirked, lining up and pushing all the way in. a low groan escaped his flushed lips. “But I know you can’t get enough of this.”

I breathed heavily, clinging to him. His hips stirred, slowly pulling back, and sinking all the way in. Harvey rested his head on my shoulder, tongue making patterns on my ignited skin. I tugged at his hair, lips working on their own to find all his sweet spots. 

I raked my nails up his back, not missing when his hips slowed and he moaned. So I did it again. His thumb found its way between my legs and circled around where I wanted it most. He wasn’t kidding when he said he was going to take care of me. 

Harvey took his time, making sure that I was feeling good and got what I wanted. This was so different from the feverish moments we’ve had in the office. But it was somehow way better. Well, it could use one thing.

As he laced our fingers together, I moved our hands up. He stopped kissing me for a moment to give me a puzzled look. But I slipped his grip from mine and placed his hand on my throat. 

“I don’t need you to go all ‘sir’ on me tonight, but just give me this. Please.” I did the best I could with my eyes to lure him in, and it worked. It tightened, but it was never tight. It was just there, a reminder of the part of him I was going to get to see whenever I wanted. 

He started to let his control slip, and I knew it was hard for him to be so gentle. But I appreciated it so much. I let some of my control slip as well, just because I wanted to rile him up. His breath quickened, and so did his hips. His thumb was relentless between my legs and I could feel my high approaching.

“Come on, sweetheart, let go. Make yourself feel so good for me.” There it was, the Harvey that kept me up at night. That has plagued my dreams for the past few days. 

I met his hips with mine, and my release crashed over me when I wasn’t expecting it. I shook in his arms as he continued to move, chasing his own time. 

“Fuck, Harvey,” I gasped. “Let go for me, you did such a good job making me feel good.”

He cursed, tucking his head down momentarily before crushing his mouth to mine, not shy about how I was making him feel. His body went rigid, and the praise streamed out of his mouth.

“Fuck fuck Claudia… god you feel so good. You are so perfect for me. So soft and warm.”

My lips would surely be bruised tomorrow morning, but I didn’t care. All I cared about was being here with Harvey. About carrying him through the aftershocks of his release. I rubbed at his back, kissed his neck and cheeks. When he lifted his head, he had this dreamy look on his face. 

“You look so hot,” he ran his thumb across my cheek, bringing me in for another kiss. “Thank you for giving me a second chance.”

“I’m glad I decided to do it. I can’t decide which Harvey I like more. This one or the one who calls me sweetheart.”

“Did I not call you sweetheart tonight?” “You did, but not the way you do when I call you ‘sir’.”

“Ahh, I see,” he smirked. “As much as I would like to think that I could flip a switch right now, I don’t want to spoil this moment with you.”

“If you don’t want to spoil it, then you should take us into the shower.”

And then I was in the shower. Hot water streaming between us from the rain shower head. His hands were soft as he kneaded my body; they particularly felt nice on my ass, especially when he added his lips to the mix. 

“You are so amazing, Claudia. I cannot stress that enough.” “You’re doing an amazing job,” I smiled, kissing him. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“I know,” he grinned, smacking my ass before lathering up his hands and running them through my hair. It was hard to not fall asleep standing up. “Sweetheart, if you keep making those noises it is going to be very very hard to not take you right here.”

My eyes flew open, his very apparent arousal pressing into my backside. Well, alright then. Go Claudia, you sexy son of a bitch!

“And who’s to say that I wouldn’t want that?” “I am trying to hold back, you know. I wanted tonight to be different, to be special. I didn’t want it to be heated and rough and-”

“Harvey,” I turned, pressing a hand to his chest. “I know.” “I wanted to ‘make love’ or whatever they call it in those cheesy romance books you read.”

I laughed out loud, picturing Harvey curled up on the couch with a book in his hand, a fire in the fireplace. “Nobody says ‘making love’ any more, babe.” “Babe?” “Yeah, babe. I figured you wouldn’t like sugar, or honey bun, or baby for that matter.”

“Don’t make me sound older than I am, please. For fucks sake I passed the Bar when you were in highschool.”

“It doesn’t bother me all that much anymore,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around his neck. “I thought it would, but it doesn’t really make a difference to me.”

“Good, I’m glad it doesn’t freak you out,” he smiled. “And, for the record, I hope it doesn’t freak your folks out.”

“It won’t.”

He lifted up a brow, “How could you know?” “Because I already told them about you.” I felt him go tight. “Relax. They knew who you were already and they couldn’t have been more excited that I found a caring, respectful, well respected man.”

He let out a sigh, “and your brothers?” “They don’t know yet, but don’t worry about them, either. It will be okay.”

“When did you become the consoling one? It’s weird.” “I know, right?” I giggled. When I looked into his eyes, there was a fondness to his gaze. He was looking at my body, but not in a way he had before. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Harvey shrugged, “I just love you so much, Claudia. And I am so proud of how far you’ve come in just these first couple of months.”

My heart hitched in my chest, then beat so wildly I wasn’t entirely sure it didn’t burst through my skin and land in his hands. I froze. Mike had been right. Harvey wasn’t just some cock, high strung New York attorney that couldn’t decipher his own feelings. He seemed incredibly in tune with his emotions and that couldn’t be more attractive. 

I just kissed him. I didn’t know what else to do other than kiss him. He had to take a step back to support our combined weight. Harvey’s arms were strong around my waist, his lips reassuring and just as firm as his grip. 

“I love you too, Harvey. So fucking much.”

____

The comforters pulled tight, Harvey's body pressed behind mine… I couldn’t think of a more relaxing way to end the night. Especially after I slipped to my knees in the shower and showed him just how much I loved him. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve been dreaming about having you in my arms one night. All night long.”

I hummed, scooting back so his chest met my back, his legs molding with mine. “I may have fantasized about it once or twice as well.” “Have you now?” “Again, there are several versions of Claudia you haven’t met before.” “And I look forward to coaxing every single one of them out with my mouth… my tongue… my hands… my-”

“Tomorrow,” I whispered, letting my eyes lull shut. “We can do it all again tomorrow. On the table, on the counter, on the couch-” “You’re not helping the situation here, you know,” he tugged at my half-dried hair. “Don’t get me started, sweetheart. I just might not let you get any sleep tonight.”

I clenched my thighs together. This was going to be such a sweet, tortuous game to play. And I got to play it every day. Every night, if I wanted. He wouldn’t be able to resist me. I had a secret weapon.

“Whatever you say, sir.”

His hand was wrapped around my throat, forcing my head to turn back to look at him. He clicked his tongue, eyes more awake than they had been a few minutes ago. “Oh sweet, innocent little Claudia. I guess you haven’t learned your lesson yet. It’s okay, I’d be happy to give you more instruction. I think I recall saying that eventually I would break you down over and over again until all you could remember was my name and how to breathe. Well, sweetheart. What do you think? Because I think you can still form coherent thoughts. I think it’s time we change that, don’t you?” I nodded, “Yes.”

His grip tightened and tightened and tightened. “Yes what?”

I smirked, climbing into his lap and taking him into my hand. “Yes, sir.”

[nereidprinc3ss]

Hello, the one anon who said Spencer wasn’t an ass based on your preview….and….

I still don’t think he is! I am SO PROUD OF HIM!!!

Obviously Derek is the only actually correct one here (well and Randall who I loved. Imaging him as a slightly crusty war vet who means well but just is too gruff and rough to come across well. His wife bakes pies and has a rose garden in my mind) -

BUT, if you pretend to not know readers side, what Spencer says is perfect. Seriously I am so amazed at how well you articulate complicated emotions!!

Spencer had to grow up to take on adult responsibilities at age 10. He isn’t the best at communicating (v obvious right now), but he also is trying. He’s doing his best to do what’s right - and to him, reader is acting like a child lashing out - saying one thing, doing another. He can’t read her mind - all this is doing to him is proving he loves someone who doesn’t love him. (Again - which has to be the worst part. Like come on, dude admitted he loved the first girl he slept with and she didn’t love him. Now he’s in basically the same situation minus the actual intercourse and that has to hurt. It has to make him think something’s wrong with him) So he uses his words as a defense.

Could he have been nicer? Definitely. But his points, while ruder than normal for him, were accurate. (Seriously - cannot exclaim enough how amazed I am at your skill in writing conflicting emotions and view points).

ON THE FLIP SIDE —

Poor, poor reader. Trying to ignore what we know about Spencer - to only think how reader is thinking. That for the very first time, they’ve fallen in love - only to not be loved in return. The very feeling Spencer describes for himself - the feeling he wants her to avoid ever having.

Then she thinks that Spencer is angry at her for loving him, that something has to be wrong with her for him to not want her love. And she doesn’t have the experience or confidence to say what she thinks - so she pouts and ices him out, trying to leave so he can’t leave her first.

Two idiots in love. Absolute giant idiots.

Derek’s the only sane one right now - and that never happens. He’s right that Spencer can be, well… a cunt. But he’s also right that reader doesn’t understand how icy and sharp her claws are.

Ugh, I seriously read this when you released it and then had to step away before typing this message because I was worked up. Part of me really hopes it is reader who confesses first - and then they both grovel to each other. But I also know however you write it will be exactly right - and I’m looking forward to reading everything you post!!

Thank you, for starting and continuing this little series. Astounding! I need more words to describe how lovely this all is!

— 🌌

GUYSSS you all NEED TO READ THIS im serious!!! anon you get it!!! if you guys read part five as if you DONT know whats going inside readers head and try looking at it from spencer’s pov this is all very real. that’s not to say he was in the right for being unkind but he thought she was genuinely just being incredibly brutally unkind for no reason and he asked her to stop because he doesn’t want to breakup but he can’t handle being treated like that forever. thank you for verbalizing these things so i dont have to and thank you for reading🩷🩷 you are so sweet!! im glad the emotional components came through well for you!!

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Vox headcanon todayy ripped from my ramblings in a friends dms

Been going insane about this for days so please dont mind me.

Warning for discussions of seizures

So like Vox gets upgrades and maintenance on his body kind of often like how rich white moms buy the new iphone every other month but for him its for both public image and also processing stuff, also for like 3 days ive been going insane because I got some headcanon implanted into my head and I didnt know where it came from and then I figured it out but like Vox definitely has epilepsy so i tried to go pin pointing where I think my brain randomly came up with the epilepsy thing, I think in my head I listed these as some kind of mechanical seizure with the first one being vox having severely overloaded circuits and then the second being the actual seizure where he starts to shut off and falls back into his chair.

I think its kind of interesting that theres kinds of things that organic bodied sinners cant experience like technological sinners can, like a non technological sinner couldn’t experience a blackout/bluescreen kind of seizure like this where it literally shuts off all the electronics in the city for a solid 4-5 seconds. I don’t imagine an average tech sinner could experience this on as wide of a scale as Vox since the average person isnt really connected to basically every device in a 5 mile radius, but im sure they could experience some sort of bluescreen or circuit overload in a more contained way

Aside from this very rare occurrence that’s probably only happened once or twice, Vox probably has tonic and absence seizures specifically, not really caused by one specific thing but not charging properly or overheating increases the risk of having them as well as overloading circuits. He is usually able to tell when he is about to have one and will notify someone nearby and excuse himself if he’s in something like a meeting and find a place to lay down. At the moment I think both of the other’s are aware of this but only Velvette really helps at all when its needed

I dont see characters that struggle with seizures often at all and I dont think ive ever seen a villain with epilepsy and I find it very intriguing to have that

Since Vox is a technological sinner/being, his epilepsy now is relatively very different than when he was a person and like I said some of these things just cant really happen like this in organic brains or bodies so obviously don’t take my Vox headcanons as some way to study actual epilepsy. If you’re interested in it please do your own research and focus on humans rather than on robots, they are very different! I genuinely cannot stress enough please do not assume actual people dealing with epilepsy will behave how a cartoon character does—I doubt anyone will actually assume that but—just in case please🙏

[peachie-kittie]

GROUP AU

I cannot stop thinking about TPTM. So, in honor of that, I made those old fandom like - flow charts with the colored lines. 9 images, I'll be explaining below the cut

So! Quick run down on what the lines mean:

Pink: crushing. Explains itself, romantic attraction.

Yellow: close friends. Also explains itself, they consider themselves close confidants.

Cyan: like/friends. Not super close, but they'd hang around each other outside the group in big groups or every so often one-on-one.

Gray: neutral-friendly. Probably wouldn't hang out outside the group, but there's respect there and they usually get on fine.

Purple: calibers personal MOM line lmao. Not biologically obvs but she sees these girls as smth akin to her kids/nieces.

Got it? Sick.

-----

Disposable Girl (Jordyn-Mae Thomas):

Notes (in order for each girl):

-It and Irreverent have a cordial relationship but aren't close. They're personalities just don't really click.

-cluster b mfs who don't wash their hair stick together!! You can't tell me disposable doesn't drag splitter to the skate park after dark where they fuck around and eat stolen gas station snacks.

-wants to be closer to fainéant but doesn't wanna bother them. They're so sleepy all the time and also a smidge intimidating with how sarcastic they can be. Faineant finds Disposable girl really funny though and relates to the feeling of being sidelined.

-Looks up to Caliber as a cool aunt kinda figure but is too shy to ever express it. Caliber worries about Disposable hurting itself while skateboarding and enjoys talking Pokémon with it.

-Do I even need to say it. The Instagram story bro. Chocobo and Diaposable are GAY.

-Similar case to Irreverent with the added bonus of being slightly intimidated. I mean, Taxidermy's cool as fuck - wearing leather and other kink gear pretty openly. But also she's pretty stoic AND 21 and it makes Disposable self aware. Taxidermy, on the other hand, has a thing with anyone under 20 - that being, he thinks of them as BABIES (/silly). Aka he doesn't want to make them feel weird at all, mixed with the canonical shyness, makes her very reserved around Diaposable.

-originally it was pretty intimidated by chemical bc she's strong and atheletic as fuck but then chemical complimented Disposables outfit ONCE and it WOULD NOT let chemical go. They ended up bonding over shit like music tastes, anime, and even exercise a bit! Turns out disposable has a talent for ddr.

-it's admiration from disposable that makes her line blue and ignorance on refractions end. Disposable doesn't approach them often so they are clueless to the fact disposable finds her very ethereal and very cool.

------

Irreverent Girl (Kairi Herring):

Notes:

-Irreverent thinks Splitter is clever and brave but a little too reckless for co's tastes. One is aware of the fact, however, that Splitter thinks she looks cool and certainly doesn't mind the little debates they occasionally get into.

-Faineant and Irreverent are laid back buds who love to chill together. One is more than happy to just spend time in silence with Faineant and send each other memes. When faineant has the energy, they like to go online shopping together and discuss things like what happens post-mortem. Also, Irreverent is thankful that Faineant doesn't mind the flat affect of her tone.

-Appreciates Caliber's concern, but is fine with the casualty of their friendship. They don't have much in common anyway, but appreciates knowing another person in the group also struggles with emotional suppression the way co does.

-I said it in my headcanon post and I'll say it here; UNLIKELY DUO OF CHOCOBO AND IRREVERENT!! I love love love the idea that chocobo forced himself in irreverent's life and actually ended up bonding well with one!! It caught Irreverent off guard, too, but she realized that Chocobo's willingness to engage with many topics and do anything as long as the person he's with is genuinely happy was not only pleasant, but something co admires. It's also just funny to imagine Irreverent with her flat affect ass and Chocobo explaining how excited it's friend is, that's just co's face. Also they share accessories every so often bc Irreverent has more than just the cute bunny hood.

-Irreverent and Taxidermy are both flat affect motherfuckers. I'm not wrong. The only reason taxidermy's line isn't yellow is because Irreverent is 19. But once co turns 20, Taxidermy will probably be more willing to hang out around her.

-I don't have as many thoughts here; I see this as a slightly similar-ish situation to Splitter though. Chemical is really gentle and generally friendly, but not so affectionate that she'll just cling to people like Chocobo. And since friendship with Irreverent often requires initiation from the other party, they just never really bonded. Co has no qualms being around Chemical, though, and they've had a few fun interactions.

-Refraction's talk of metamorphosis and life after death intrigued Irreverent. She doesn't feel like many of the others would be as okay with such dark topics (save for Faineant, who deals with severe medical issue already), so she finds it nice to have someone co can talk to freely with. They don't talk much in person, however - lots of texting. They've probably gotten stoned together tbh.

-----

Splitter Girl (Tahira Rashid):

-Something I've read that I kinda wanna incorporate is this thing that some people with NPD experience is thinking you're closer to someone than you actually are.

-I say this bc it's her relation to faineant jdjdbsnsn splitter thinks they're besties and faineant is like "yeh she's cool but very loud n I'm gonna need her to tone it down before we consistently hang out." Splitter is trying her best to do so, she's just VERY hyperactive. They're working on it, essentially.

-Now, with Caliber, this is the closest pairing out of every single one that is at risk for conflict; and even then, it's not likely. It's because Splitter has like - issues with authority, prone to some envy, and seeing Caliber complain about things like how stressed she is from working her job and balancing all the (admittedly impressive) aspects of her life occasionally causes Splitter anger-jealousy. Caliber does their best to be patient with it and understand Splitter's side, and Splitter (while she'll never probably consider herself a friend to Caliber), is willing to see her a mentor of sorts.

-Chocobo and Splitter get along well! They know each other thru Disposable and while they don't hang out as much one-on-one, they have a very fun trio energy whenever they're around each other. Main issue is that Splitter can be a bit violent, gory, generally abrasive for Chocobo's tastes - Disposable mediates and the two are working on cooling it with the sensitive topics (Splitter) and getting a bit thicker skin to handle them (chocobo).

-SPLITTER THINKS TAXIDERMY IS METAL AS FUCK. She wishes Taxidermy was less worried about the teenager thing, but considering Splitter is the BABYEST-BABY of the group, it applies to her. However, Taxidermy has complimented her before, so she believes that once she's 20 it'll be fine and she'll TRULY get to impress this metal as fuck deer person. She also experiences mild envy towards Chemical and Irreverent for being exceptions lmao.

-Again!! Cluster b friends stick together! Not as close as she is with Disposable, but that's just because they vastly different interests so it's hard for them to find hobbies they can mutually enjoy. BUT!! They enjoy playing ddr together (despite splitters two left feet) and gush about figmas, gundhams, and garage kits together. And on days where Chemical is willing to stay in, anime binge days. Another thing is, again, Chemical is more gentle than Splitter - and her severe moods can influence Chemical's bpd poorly. They've both agreed to try and get closer as they manage their symptoms, though.

-Just not fond of Refraction, and it's mutual. Not in an antagonistic way, they're just kinda...parallel. Though Splitter will always admit it's pretty sick how openly Refraction is willing to talk about death, and Refraction will admit Splitters antics can be pretty funny.

-----

Fainéant Girl (Freyja Maria Mendoza):

Notes:

-You know I didn't intend to make Faineant one of the top three most social fucking girls but here we are. Idk why I just see her as getting on with everyone pretty well bc she's chill as shit and willing to do literally anything bc she likes going out (when they have energy!) But also know how to enjoy themselves inside so it's like. They ball dude.

-ANYWAY the rlly appreciate Caliber bc they care and express a lot of worry but sometimes she feels a tinge smothered. Caliber ofc does her best to avoid doing it bur Caliber is a perfectionist and sometimes not overdoing it feels like failure to help. But as a highly independent woman herself, Caliber respects Fainéant's deep need for independence.

-Similar to above with Chocobo. Chocobo is sweet and usually is good with not infantilizing Faineant, but can occasionally overdo it EMOTIONALLY. A lot of the time Faineant needs a little extra time to process their emotions bc of daily brain fog and sometimes Chocobo can go overboard in trying to help. Not to mention, Chocobo isn't really one for staying in unless it's a party, baking, or crafting - but they're still on pretty good terms!

-Taxidermy and Faineant are parallel but like. Not in the disinterest way. They're very much the type of duo to parallel play and send each other memes over discord. They also do girl talk about sex, honestly - talking about weird body shit, they're favorite sex toys (not in a flirty way!) and their gripes about it. But bc they're both quiet and Taxidermy is more reserved than Faineant, they aren't besties.

-Chemical girl!! Helps!! They met online in a forum where Faineant was asking about exercising when extremely disabled and although Chemical herself isn't she works in a gym and has helped people like her!! So she responded, they did a video call, and now Chemical is her personal trainer. The funniest part is that I imagine that happened before the hospital incident so just. I'm imagining a scene of them leaving the hospital at the same time and they run into each other and they're just pogging at each other. Then a few weeks later Faineant rolls into the first group session and just

"Why is my workout buddy at my therapy session???"

-And as for Refraction, they share similar struggles and have similar personalities; sarcastic, a little fatigued all the time, friendly, maybe a lil pessimistic on their outlooks in life. Faineant feels a huge sisterly bond with Refraction and they keep each other motivated to stay alive.

-----

Caliber Girl (Nora Qu):

Notes:

-MOM??

-anyway Chocobo adores Caliber!! Caliber was a little surprised at first, but ended up really appreciating Chocobo in a rich aunt-loving niece kinda way. They go out shopping together, Caliber gives her advice about red flags in people, and they honestly love gossiping (harmlessly!!) together. Caliber is the first significantly older person in Chocobo's life (other than his parents) he actually trusts again, feeling like Caliber is a mentor, aunt, and sister all in one. Also chocobo makes SURE caliber eats. Oh also before group therapy Caliber actually knew Chocobo through a coffee shop it worked at so when Caliber first saw him she thought the coffee shop was catering. No your favorite batista is just severely mentally ill sorry Caliber.

-Taxidermy is vvv shy and while she thinks Caliber looks sick ("the leather boots...where did you got those, ma'am" -taxidermy) he feels a little bit intimidated by Caliber's impressive record and social grace. Caliber is friendly nonetheless, and is trying to slowly get Taxidermy to open up.

-If chocobo is making sure Caliber is eating right then Chemical is making sure she isn't overworking herself! I hc'd they went to the same gym and I stand by it!! Before Chemical would just be on her ass for drinking water but now that she's heard her struggles with anorexia Chemical keeps a closer eye on Caliber. Also, similar aunt-niece relationship. Honestly, since I made all three close I've decided the three will go out and have shopping days. They're interests are all different but they've got alternative fashion and high energy to spare so it's chill.

-Refraction and Caliber have a similar dynamic to Rafraction and Splitter; parallel but in the way where they just don't touch. They look out for each other in therapy and occasionally talk, but nothing too close. They are fine like this.

-----

Chocobo Girl (Morgan Moretti):

-If Caliber wasn't required to have purple lines and I didn't need to indicate the crushes Chocobo would have 5 best friends. There are no gray lines. Everyone likes it.

-Anyway!! Just like with Irreverent it might seem unlikely but they have a nat 20 charisma stat and roll 15+ on 8/10 rolls for charisma so yeah. Taxidermy is shy and a bit aphasic BUT Chocobo is so patient and better at explaining their feelings once given a thread. They help Taxidermy open up and...being serious for a second. They did bond over sexual trauma. A lot of the girls have little bits of sexual trauma interspersed (Disposable not seeing itself as sexy, Irreverents line about being sinful, Caliber experiencing societal pressures) but these two are the most effected by sexuality related traumas.

-Anyway...moving on. Chemical girl and Chocobo both love going out. They're also both extremely gentle so they're very nice and fragile with each other. And like I said with the disposable + splitter combo: CLUSTER B BADDIES STICK TOGETHER!! They both experience rage-sadness a lot and know what the other needs to calm down; Chemical often does exercise and vents. Chocobo also vents BUT can get stuck in a thought loop so it's also helpful to have him watching Disney movies. Chocobo AGE REGERESSES and it's THERAPEUTIC for it be NICE.

-Receaction enjoys Chocobo's company! But similar to Faineant, he can be...a lot. It takes a lot of restraint on Chocobo's end not to try and force Refraction to "cheer up" - she's still getting used to not just jumping in to help. On the upside, Refraction is starting to sew more positives even with the chronic depression - and Chocobo is getting better at sitting with negative feelings :)

-----

Taxidermy Girl (Mayra Tikuna)

-Okay so after going through the faux-medixal records I realized Irreverent, Faineant, and Taxidermy all deal with schizospec disorders. With that said - these three hang out in silence texting each other and talking about literally anything. It's a great time.

-Anyway, Taxidermy and Chemical are decently close! Taxidermy appreciates how gentle Chemical is and they both have similar tastes in music. But, just like with Irreverent, Chemical isn't 20 yet so Taxidermy does her best not to interact much. Chemical is chill about it and is currently planning to invite Taxidermy to her 20th birthday. The other thing is that sometimes her mood swings prove to be too much for the gentle Taxidermy, and then need time away from each other.

-Quiet, reflective, and unintrusive? Great friend! Taxidermy and Refraction don't even talk much. They just really enjoy each other's vibes mutually.

-----

Chemical Girl (Joy Sinclair):

-Last pairing! Chemical and Rafractiom are friendly with each other, and get along well in groups. However, one-on-one, they don't have much in common. Still though, Refraction is like an anchor for Chemical, and gives good advice in regards to emotional regulation.

-----

Refraction Girl (Nataana Nchoko):

And that's my hcs for the au! I know it's a lot but I am genuinely so in love with this series it's unreal. Anyway.

I'll probably be back with more but I worked on this entire project in one day for at least 3 hours so. Yeah. Bye.

[aestherin]

privacy

19: idea of luxury

NOTES contains: kissing, mentions of 'housewife' (lol this so random ToT), very very lightly suggestive??? (tbh idek what counts as suggestive anymore :"D)

It was cold inside, but your hands were sweating.

Was it from the tension? You don't know. Likely, but not certain. Nervousness? Another possibility.

But was the cause of it related to the lean blue-haired man currently making his way towards you?

Certainly.

"Are you gonna publish an interior magazine?" Ayato smirked. "You keep taking photos of my penthouse, [Name]."

You rolled your eyes. "No, but I'm capturing all I want because I may never get to see this again. This would make good inspo for my future home."

Standing right in front of where you were sitting on the couch, you hear him feign a sigh. 'Close,' you thought.

"Love, you can go to my penthouse anytime. I can even have a duplicate key made for you. You want that?"

"No."

Ayato raised a brow. "And here I thought you liked my home."

"Not enough to treat it as my own, apparently."

"Shame. I was about to ask you to be my housewife."

You immediately sat up, causing you to be closer to him. The light fabric of the shirt Ayato's wearing was mere centimeters away from you. "Oh? Does that interest you?"

Baffled from what he said prior, you opted to ignore the almost nonexistent distance between you and the body of the man you're currently looking up to. "Excuse me? Housewife?"

"Yes?"

"Why the fuck do you think I'd want to be your housewife?"

Truthfully, for a moment, you considered the possibility. You've never wanted to slap yourself so bad once certain images flashed in your mind: the two of you smiling sweetly at each other, you cooking meals for Ayato (because he can't cook to save a life) in this very same penthouse, and more scenarios of affectionate domestic activities. Not to mention that the scenes even had filters when you imagined them.

You despise your own mind sometimes.

Maybe you should write scripts, too.

"Oh? You don't?"

Why in the world are you having this kind of conversation with him as he's looking down at you and you're staring up at him?

This is... a little...

'Ayato's a fucking tease.'

"No. I don't."

Your boyfriend laughed heartily. "Are you sure, love? You know, tens — if not hundreds — of thousands of people would get on their knees to be my housewife." He started leaning down towards you. "Some people even use that as their social media handles."

You forced out the actress in you, only so that he cannot see the expression that you truly were about to show. Why was he this close?

Actually, why were you guys even taking this long conversing about this one topic?

A sassy facade. "Well, sorry to burst your bubble, mister, but I'm not them."

You noticed how his brows lightly shot up in realization, how his playful gaze turned into one of delight. It's astonishing, really. How he could easily switch.

He let out a deep breath. "You're right, love. You are not them."

Ayato leaned in even closer, settling his hands on the backrest behind you to support himself.

Earlier, it was his shirt that your face almost had contact with. But now...

It was his face.

His unfairly perfect face.

A genuine smile from the guy was all it took to break your pretense.

"You're my girlfriend, right, [Name]?"

It took a lot of willpower to go back to acting composed and unaffected after that certain display of his.

Seriously.

"Yeah. A fake one."

You could swear something changed in his eyes.

Ayato, however, made sure that you can't point it out — how his heart dropped, how the previously present glint in his irises disappeared, how his lips almost displayed a frown with a single statement of yours.

'Did you really have to say that?' he mused.

Fortunately, he was an expert at turning things around. He had a knack for harvesting pleasant outcomes from unfavorable situations.

Ayato was not about to let that one thing ruin his day.

"Ah," he stared back again. "Thank you for mentioning that, [Name]. I almost forgot."

You frowned. "That what? We're fake dating?"

His lips curve to a smirk.

And everytime he does that, you die.

"No. What we were supposed to be doing."

"Huh?"

The man sighed. "Dearest love, you can't have possibly forgotten that we're here to kiss."

"Fuck."

"Hehe."

"Do you want to get on with it now?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's not like it's a big deal anyway."

Liar.

"I've done this plenty of times with my co-leads."

"Oh? I see." You fail to see how his gaze darkened, with how his face was positioned near your ears. "I'm expecting you to be a good kisser then," he whispered.

You braced yourself.

The two of you stared at each other for seconds, with neither of you making a single move.

"When are you going for it?"

"Huh?"

"You're too slow, love. Is it taking you so long to muster up the courage to come and kiss me?"

"What do you mean?! I was waiting for you, you dumb fu—"

A peck on your forehead. Then your left cheek, then the right. Another on your nose. The next one on your chin.

The last one being on the corners of your lips.

'Is he playing with me?!'

He pulled away, grinning like a complete fool. "Ayato!"

"What?" He played innocent.

"Please. Let's just get this over with," you plead.

His gaze remained still on you. In Ayato's eyes, you looked absolutely divine. You with your furrowed brows, pleading eyes, and pouty lips... How could he ever refuse you?

How could he ever resist?

"As the lady wishes."

This time, he was heading for your lips.

But he stopped halfway.

"Motherfu—"

There it was.

His lips tasted like cherries — they felt like them, too.

One...

Two...

Three...

He pulled away by then, with you not being able to get your fill.

It was utterly embarrassing, how your head somewhat chased after his when he distanced himself. Luckily, you were able to control yourself and stopped before he even opened his eyes.

And when they found their way back to yours, his lavender eyes were hazy. Dark and lidded, certainly different from the bright and mischievous ones from just minutes ago.

You were sure you weren't in a better condition either.

The breaths you make are heavy, and so are your eyelids. And your mind?

Blank.

You opened your mouth first. "Ayato, I..."

"Sshh." He placed a finger against your lips. "We're not quite done yet, love. Don't you think so?"

'I can't fucking think.'

You mumbled incoherently at him, confused.

"I believe that first kiss we made... it's not that convincing yet, no?" He breathed.

Ayato made your foreheads touch. "Unless, you don't share the same opinion as mine? If that's the case, then we can stop here, and..." A sigh. "call it a day."

You took a deep breath.

The usual curve of his lips returned as your hands reached around his nape.

"No. I find it unconvincing as well."

privacy — ayato x reader smau

prev. masterlist. next.

NOTES -> not a cliffhanger this time (i think) so that u guys can sleep in peace😌 -> i cannot believe i wrote this (wrote late at night before i slept and i swear my face is heating up) -> my brain is not functioning anymore after writing this -> was listening to 'collide' while writing 👀

TAGLIST I (closed) @catsrkool @sukunasrealgf @redactedhimbo @layla240 @mxlkytea13 @itsactuallylina @milza12 @aixaingela @tatiratty @kimiesstuff @laventiseriou @kunihaver @bibisbestgirl @lunaavity @coquettemaiden @opchara @slvdsjjk @cotton-eee @lady-elodie @dearxiiao @wheneverthesunrise @heartswonder @chuduchok @headphonesrlif3 @lleoll @vnderthesunn @lizzardlady1234 @nekogakuro @rifran @atlatcaheart @ani-st @creammpuff @lunastarjay @kittycasie @poisoned-candy-apples @zannivrs @b0bafl0wer @moonlightaangel @elsoleil

[woodsborostabathon]

my scream friend group sexuality HCs

for 1996, 4, 2022, and vi.

did elaborate bc i just can’t make myself be a no nuance kinda gal. it’s all very silly goofy but true! i may do another follow up w the friends from 2 & some of the other charas i left out... we shall see.

scream (1996) friend group

billy loomis: heteroflexible. he is 99.999% straight. almost aggressively so. he has one exception tho and he is literally also in this image. otherwise, his lean is primarily towards chicks. he is also NOT admitting to literally any of that.

sidney prescott: heteroflexible. has an incredibly straight vibe in the later films, but also seems the type that could've experimented in college. i mean. have you seen her in 2. primarily into men but i don't think she'd be opposed to being w the right chick.

stu macher: bisexual. this is so easy i ain't even have to think about it. again Have You Seen Him. just bi as hell and he wants billy so bad it makes him look stupi-

tatum riley: bisexual. more so with a male lean. would probably id as straight in hs but have figured it out around college age if she'd made it that far <//3 her and stu's bi4bi slay kind of everything.

randy meeks: straight and he is NOT an ally. idt he's incredibly homophobic i just think he does Not care. either way he gets zero play anyways so...

scre4m (2011) friend group

robbie mercer: straight ally. he simply has not ever had a girlfriend bc he cannot pull to save his life. and speaking of saving his life, i don't at all think that him saying he's gay ("if it helps?") while he was literally getting jumped counts as a legitimate coming out. he was literally tryna use the 'rules' they were yapping abt at cinema club to save his own skin. bffr. he's obnoxious (affectionate) to women in a way ONLY an earnest straight boy w no game could be.

charlie walker: straight. again idt he's an ally but i also don't think he's necessarily homophobic. not in any serious way at least bc i do think he would get so genuinely offended at being insinuated to be anything else bc that is gonna ruin his (already nonexistent) rep w the hoes!!! i just think he does not think abt The Gays often bc he kinda got a lot going on + he's a nerdy dude (who wishes so badly he wasn't) from a small town in 2011.

olivia morris: straight and not even remotely an ally. might ACTUALLY be legitimately homophobic. seems the type to assume any girl who comes out to her as lesbian/bi has a crush on her. she literally called robbie 'closet boy' in the og script for scre4m so there's just no other way around it. she's Not Too Fond Of The Gays...

kirby reed: bisexual. i feel like i don't even really have to elaborate because i mean... look at her? idt she was particularly out about it at the time (see one of her closest friends above and her bestie at the end of this section 💀) but i also don't think she'd go out of her way to be closeted/pretend she's fully straight. was most def out by vi like YEARS before then.

trevor sheldon: straight, not an ally. again not from any real malice, more so ignorance. ignorance of not only lgbtq issues but of everything. like just in general. there was not much going on in that boy's head. just yearning for his ex and vibes. he's not really thinking abt anything beyond that, gay rights included.

jill roberts: straight and not an ally. definitely worse than olivia. she'd actively make a big deal out of acting disgusted n gossiping abt anyone who seems even Remotely not 100% straight. definitely would use gay as an insult. she's a natural born hater so are we really surprised.

scream (2022) friend group (+vince. i fw him)

amber freeman: aromantic lesbian. she may get freaky w girls but she will be damned if she falls in love w one. i fear that is the (1) dawg she do not got in her. this is not all contradictory to me shipping her w richie, mind you, because i fully think amber was scamming him from the get go. banging the stab shrine man for stab merch if you will. let lesbians lie and scam and be ghostface and evil!

tara carpenter: lesbian or bisexual? the one chara i kinda can't pin down bc tbh hell if i know. it really depends on the day imho. all i know is that tara is a girlkisser. whether or not that's exclusive is entirely up in the air. i think she's closer to bi in the films themselves, but i also interpret her as lesbian for sm AUs atp. so it truly is either or bc either direction works. nuance/i'm bald/etc.

sam carpenter: bisexual. of the variety where her taste in women isn't bad in the slightest, but her taste in men is unspeakably cursed. i think it's even either way, it's just entirely luck of the draw that she's ended up with more men than women. sometimes you have awful taste in dudes bc ur fighting demons (ur yassified ghost serial killer dad who lives in ur head) okay.

richie kirsch: straight and not an ally. idt he's really homophobic, he just wouldn't really 'get' it. also does not conflict w my other HCs for him because i think he is just an opportunist. his interest is 100% in chicks, he's just also a horndog and so if the chance presents itself... eh! doesn't mean he has any genuine interest in guys, though. def would not seriously date one. a body's a body n that's abt it.

chad meeks-martin: heteroflexible. in a very andrew garfield sort of way. mostly into girls and pretty much exclusively dates them, but he is nothing if not open-minded! another situation of 'it would just have to be the right dude'. idt he quite has the terminology for it but i think he knows his own deal.

liv mckenzie: bisexual. most likely has a male lean, IDs as fully straight because she has not put it together yet. she genuinely thinks it's just a normal thing that every girl has wanted to kiss another girl before. no biggie. even outside of my own oc x canon stuff w her, i fear she'd still be the type to have to figure it out by accidentally ending up in a horribly messy wlw situationship later on. god bless her.

wes hicks: straight but absolutely an ally. #lesbiansforwes or wtv. just has the misfortune of never ever pulling & catching feelings for gay girls w/o knowing it. not straight in an aggressive way bc he is a Woman Respecter but still so OBVIOUSLY just het thru and thru.

mindy meeks-martin: okay. well. she is just canonically a lesbian, so i really don't have much to say beyond that. she's gay and i'll believe it.

vince schneider: actually aggressively straight. not an ally. would make some Questionable Comments, is probably only really cool w fruity women unless one starts smth w him n then that's out the window. don't think he generally thinks about gay people much beyond They Exist unless it comes up in whatever bs he gets himself into. in which case, refer to the sentence before that one... yeah.

scream vi (2023) friend group

anika kayoko: lesbian. again just canonically, so i really have nothing to say there. good for you babygirl until it WASN'T...

quinn bailey: bisexual. i think this is just another obvious one. no way is she 100% straight. granted, i think she also mostly leans towards men. it's probably, like, 80:20. but she's still not not also into women. i mean. come on.

ethan landry: straight ally. nothing against the gays (even if some of them aka mindy Annoy him. god bless.) honestly, less fully straight than he is specifically a 'one girl only' fiender but... i shan't continue to speak on that. also, same case as richie in that it doesn't conflict w my other HCs wrt him simply for the fact that genuine attraction towards other dudes was never even remotely a factor there LMAO.

danny brackett: straight ally. he also has an aggressively straight aura like there's just no way i can see him as anything else. feels like the kinda straight man that would have/at one point did greatly enjoy fast & furious like yk. That subgenre of straight dude. nothing against the gays tho + his shawty bisexual so he literally has no room to be. idt he's a hater like that.

[satubby]

Hello! How are you? if you still place orders I hope you can attend to mine. I confess that your male Makima writings drive me crazy, so if you don't mind, here I have another request for you and I hope it's not wierd. Could you make a scenario that the reader moved away from everyone for a while and stayed out of everyone's sight, and after a few months she returns and they find out that he had a daughter? (Makime is the father) and he finds out that the girl is his daughter? I hope my request doesn't bother you and I really wish you could attend to it. I hope you have a good day and stay healthy!

[Hello sweetie! Thanks for entrusting me with these requests, sorry to keep you waiting but I took my months off and started working, that's why I didn't answer my inbox. Here you go, it's like a little One shot/scenario].

You find yourself in the bathroom, bent over the toilet as waves of nausea seem to drag your consciousness down. The bitter taste in your mouth and the rapid beating of your heart take you back to the murky memory of your encounter with Makime at the bar. Although days have passed since then, the images are still tattooed in your mind, like fresh scars that refuse to fade.

"Why, no, this can't be happening to me? Fuck," you mutter between sobs, feeling a lump in your throat as tears begin to mix with the sensation of vomiting. A sarcastic joke about the irony of life crosses your mind, a kind of bitter self-reflection that only you can understand.

The muffled voices of your friends reach you from the other side of the door, but you barely manage to pay attention to them. Aki, Denji and Powa try to be supportive, but the sense of isolation is stronger than ever. Makime's cold presence, clinging to your thoughts like a shadow, plunges you into a spiral of self-loathing and despair. So much effort you put into getting away from him, but it only seems to motivate him to stalk.

"Hey, is everything okay? You've been in the bathroom for half an hour and Powa keeps nagging me about coming in….. (Y/N), you know I'm worried about you," Aki asks with genuine concern in his voice. You can feel her palpable anxiety, as if she shares your torments in the distance. His words offer you a glimmer of clarity amidst the darkness, but they also make you feel even more vulnerable and pathetic. You don't think you're brave enough to face them, not after your betrayal, or at least you feel that way.

"No, I'm… fine, ugh," you say in a halting voice, fighting the lump in your throat as your tears mix with the cold sweat on your face. You clutch the toilet tightly, reality becoming a blur as another access of vomit shakes you. In the midst of this painful moment, memories of Makime reclaiming what shouldn't have been hers, assault you cruelly, causing your tears to fall silently as you once again feel stripped of your self-control and power over your actions, you feel dirty and disgusted… Sleeping with the demon, giving in to his dirty, sin-filled words. That you cannot forgive yourself.

Carefully and shaky-legged, you pull yourself away from the toilet, the cold of the bathroom clinging to your damp skin from the sweat of overexertion. You stand up, but your body feels weak, as if nausea has stolen all your energy. You look in the mirror, your reflection seems strange, almost unrecognizable, or was it the tears from so much crying? Your face is pale, with the traces of tears and effort marked on it. You stare at yourself, lost in thought as doubts and fears gather like stormy clouds.

What will your friends say when they realize what is happening? You know deep down, how disappointed they would be or maybe you always jump to conclusions without asking first. You haven't had your period for weeks, so you know the only reason for it could be… pregnancy. But you didn't want this child, as guilty as you feel, you also didn't want to be a murderer of your own unwanted child. Maybe… Should you hide this unexpected pregnancy or make a more radical decision? The thought of hiding it or even aborting it haunts you, but you know you can't help but think about it.

Your mind wanders down the dark alleys of your fears-how will Makime react if he finds out? The very thought of his cold stare and cutting words makes you shudder or worse, to see his look filled with mocking satisfaction at your defeat carrying his child inside. And then there is the damage you could cause yourself if you decide to abort, both physically and emotionally, you don't think you are capable of enduring those horrors, but you know well that in this universe full of maniacs, blood is the daily bread… That's why you hated Makime, that bastard who would destroy the dreams of others and especially Denji.

But apparently now it's more fun to annoy you, to threaten to kill them… You don't even understand what's so attractive about you that the greatest enemy in this world would notice you.

But your thoughts are interrupted when, in a nervous gesture, you bite into your own flesh. The momentary pain jolts you out of your mental spiral, and that's when you really look at your reflection. Your face is blotchy, a mixture of tears and sweat, and your expression is a chaos of despair and confusion.

The truth hits you hard: you feel caught in a whirlwind of emotions, with no clear path to follow. You realize that every decision you make will carry with it dark and heartbreaking consequences. And as you keep looking at your own reflection, you feel the crushing sensation that you are trapped in a game you didn't ask to be a part of, even though you are aware of your actions that also led you to this… You thought you could handle it by taking this job, but you are not sure at this point.

You sigh with exhaustion, a mixture of physical and mental exhaustion. You ruffle your messy hair with your hands, as if trying to push the shadows out of your mind, even though you know that's impossible. The decision to take a bath seems like a respite in the midst of the emotional storm that engulfs you. Stripping off your clothes is a mechanical act, as if you want to free yourself from the worries that oppress you, free yourself from this feeling of lustful filth even though it has been weeks since… Your first time in this body, stolen and swallowed by the devil of control.

The warm water from the shower falls on you, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. You close your eyes and let your thoughts be swept away by the stream. Slowly, you feel the mist of steam and the sound of water fill your senses, muffling the tumultuous voices in your mind.

Unnoticed, time passes in the blink of an eye, and you find peace in the simple action of feeling the water run over your skin, as if those drops of water are washing you clean of your sins. But when you finally turn off the water and step out of the shower, the thoughts return with renewed force, like angry waves lapping against the shore.

Maybe it's the monotony in your gaze or the fact that you're in such a mess between thoughts that you finally realize you're in your room, sitting up in bed. You stare into the void, your eyes swollen and your fingers hurt by the anxiety you have failed to control by biting your nails hard. Moments of relief dissolve into the raw and painful reality you face. Your mind turns again to Makime, her twisted personality or her unpredictable actions that make you so uncomfortable, you don't want to accept it, but a part of you enjoys it.

You try to map out a plan in your head, but every possibility seems to carry with it an abyss of consequences. would Makime ignore your situation? Fuck that's such a stupid thought, knowing him you know he wouldn't, always looking at you like he's the hunter and maybe he is. Could he force you to go through with this pregnancy you don't want? Your throat tightens with fear and uncertainty, a feeling you can't choke down.

You bite the end of the towel wrapped around your head, as if it might somehow take away the stress of the dark thoughts that crowd in. You keep looking for a way out, a spark of hope in the midst of this overwhelming anxiety that invades you, you have always been like this, insecure though trying.

The sound of the door being slammed abruptly breaks the silence of the room, snapping you out of your jumbled thoughts. Powa, with his thunderous energy and imperative attitude, bursts into the room like a flurry of chaos. He informs you, in his characteristic shouting tone, that Aki has already served dinner and everyone is waiting for you at the table. Though with your fog of thoughts carried away from the questions, you barely give a nod with your eyes lost in nothingness.

His words ring in your ears as you look up, meeting Powa's rambunctious figure. The blood possessed one seems more playful and noisy than ever, ready to drag you away from the pensive trance you were in. It moves into your field of vision crouching down to you, doing its best to get your attention and pull you out of that darkness.

"Looks like someone got lost in your world again," Powa comments, a hint of mockery in his voice as he smiles, showing those shark teeth that seem to be his trademark. His words sound like an invitation to leave your worries behind and join the present.

His defiant smile and mischievous child's attitude wrench a response from you. You come out of your trance, your face lights up with a nervous smile, aware that Powa might notice your worries, which you don't want him to, so you smile at him trying to draw his attention away from you. You hope that this momentary distraction will keep the rambunctious demon away and offer you a respite from the emotional storm in which you find yourself mired.

You leave the guest room that Aki had lent you, you didn't want to think about Rintarou either, what would you say to him? You don't think you're capable of anything. Your eyes fall on the trio of men occupying the kitchen. Aki is concentrating on cooking with his usual grace, while Denji and Powa argue animatedly over the vegetables that none of them seem willing to eat.

As you watch the scene, a momentary relief washes over you. The comfort of being with them, even in the midst of your anxieties, makes you feel that perhaps you can find temporary refuge… But you know the fate that awaits the three of them, it only makes you feel worse about your apparent betrayal. However, the fear of breaking that tranquility persists, holding you back in your intentions to share your worries.

Denji stops fighting with Powa and fixed his eyes at you, greeting you with an enthusiastic "Good morning, (Y/N)!" Your smile forms automatically, as if his greeting manages to momentarily dispel your gloomy thoughts.

You gather at the table, sharing your meal and chatting naturally. Aki, always attentive, asks you if everything is all right. You nod silently, not wanting to delve into your own internal struggles, not whether you wanted to bring back those horrible memories of Makime violating your privacy or this pregnancy of yours. Denji, with his characteristic intuition, comments that you seem quieter than usual, which he finds strange since you are usually the more playful one in these situations.

You stop eating for a moment, laughing nervously at his observation. "Really? S-sorry, I didn't notice," you reply trying to deflect, knowing that you don't want your world of worries to overshadow the moment you share with them.

Again, like a blur, everyone is already dressed in their uniforms, including you. You leave the apartment ready to face the day. You walk with the trio to work, your finger finds its way into your mouth, biting it anxiously once again. You wonder if the bulge in your belly will be noticeable after several months, if the stares of those around you will discover your secret. Makime is a constant weight in your thoughts, wondering what he will say once he sets eyes on you.

Every time you meet, you always feel vulnerable and nervous no matter how much you want to cover up that feeling.

As you move forward with your friends, you feel a mixture of nervousness, disgust and fear. But again, you swallow all your feelings.

The quartet advances towards the public security offices, each step you take carrying with it a load of nervousness that is reflected in your finger, which keeps getting bitten until it bleeds. The thought of facing Makime in the office torments you, and your mind races to what might happen if the devil control detects your nerves which you don't try very hard to conceal either.

The offices lie before you, and you feel as if each step brings you a little closer to the abyss of your worries. You know that when they work, they need to request the file of the next mission from Makime, and the mere idea of crossing words with him fills you with those thoughts. What will he say if he finds out about your pregnancy? You always come back to that question and fear his dirty words as possessive attached to the weight of his penetrating gaze.

Finally, you find yourself alongside the trio as they enter the offices. Aki leads the way, and you stay behind him, almost as if afraid to cross the threshold of the door. You can feel Makime's eyes on you, like needles piercing your skin. But for now, the red-haired man says nothing, he just listens and dictates the orders for the day.

Your mind clouds with a mixture of fear and resignation, as you try to keep your composure by not letting your worries overpower you. As Aki and the others dive into the discussion, your thoughts turn to Makime, how to deal with this dangerous game of appearances and secrets.

As Aki withdraws, you feel the urge to follow him, as if his presence might offer you a refuge in the midst of this awkward situation. But your plans vanish when Makime intervenes, requesting that everyone leave the office except you. His request causes your nerves to intensify, and you feel a strange sense of vulnerability pressing down on you.

Aki casts you a look of concern and comfort before closing the door behind him. The dull click of the lock adds extra weight to the already tense atmosphere in the room. You find yourself alone with Makime, and discomfort seems to fill every corner.

Makime slowly approaches you, his sly gaze and soft words forming a trap that you feel yourself sinking into. The redhead's closeness only intensifies the tightness in your chest, as if you're trapped in his magnetic orbit until you feel it… your back against his chest. You don't want to look into his predatory eyes.

"It saddens me that you are ignoring me, and I thought you had already accepted me. You know I would never hurt you or do anything you don't want, for example… Your moans that night, so soft and innocent."

His words, though laden with false comfort, only leave you more anxious. Your mind whirls as you try to decipher words with which to attack. You feel the tension in the air, a mixture of fear and obedience that keeps you on edge.

Makime's amused smile triggers a shiver down your spine. You know he can smell your fear, and that only adds to your unease. Suddenly, he takes your nibbled hand in a gesture that seems too intimate, too invasive. He scolds you for your behavior, treating it as a childish prank, as if this whole game is simply that: a game for his own twisted amusement.

"Tch! But what a mess you made… You know I'm not stupid, but we won't ask questions, okay? Let me help you with that."

The feel of his fingers around yours makes you feel trapped, and you realize that you are in a dangerous position when he runs his tongue over your badly moderated wounded fingers.

As his presence dominates the room, your thoughts become increasingly suffocating, as if you are caught in a net from which you do not know how to escape.

Makime advances with sly complacency, his falsely friendly smile is like a hook in the murky water of the situation, as he continues to play with his mouth… Oh! That beautiful, stupid, voracious mouth.

"You don't need to get so uptight, (Y/N)," he murmurs with a softness that contrasts with the storm you feel in his gaze clouded with dark thoughts. "You know I'm always here to listen if you have any problems."

Your eyes roll quickly avoiding looking at him again, desperately trying to divert the conversation away from the dangerous waters. "Oh, it's nothing, Makime. I'm just… a little tired lately," you reply in a shaky voice, aware that every word out of your mouth can be a double-edged sword in this game of yours.

Makime moves even closer, his proximity suffocating. "Tired, huh?" he muses, his tone laden with irony. "It can be overwhelming work being a demon hunter, I won't deny you that. However, you should take it easy, sometimes those emotions can lead you down…deadly…routes."

Your mind races through the possibilities behind the meaning in his words, but before you can articulate a response, he takes the initiative once again. "Haven't you noticed how your fingers are hurt?" he asks with a tone that oscillates between concern and mockery, it is obvious that the question is unnecessary in this situation.

His eyes are riveted on the hand he's still holding, as if he's analyzing every little detail of you, how his saliva is still on your wounds. Fuck how he wants to lick your sweet skin again, that addictive blood.

You stumble over your own words, diverting his attention back to you. "Oh, it's no big deal, I'm just a little nervous from the stress of work. I nibble my fingers without realizing it, sorry," you say, trying to sketch a smile that hides your true feelings. "I wouldn't want to bother you with nonsense like this."

Makime laughs softly, a laugh that makes you feel as if you're caught in a net of his design. "Nonsense, you say. But you know, (Y/N), sometimes things we consider small reveal a lot about us." His eyes sparkle with a mischievous spark as he continues, "We must learn to control ourselves, don't you think?"

You feel caught up in his devious game, a conversation that seems harmless on the surface but carries with it a subtle venom. His every word seems like a carefully crafted trap, and as you struggle to maintain your composure, you realize that you are dancing on the edge of manipulation and deception.

Makime continues his game, like a cat toying with its prey before finally attacking. His piercing eyes search yours, as if he is trying to read every thought that passes through your mind. "Sometimes, it's important to talk about our worries," he comments, his voice soft as the scrape of a sharp knife. "If you have something on your mind, (Y/N), don't hesitate to tell me. I don't want you to feel alone in this."

You feel the weight of his words like an anvil on your chest. You want to speak, desperately want to free yourself from the anguish that surrounds you, but the thought of confiding in Makime, of revealing your intimate thoughts to him, fills you with an almost paralyzing fear. His true intentions are hidden behind that mask of kindness, and you can't help but wonder if this is simply another game on his part. You don't want to be controlled by him, though at this point your lustful side wonders if you could withstand the temptation.

"Thank you, Makime," you reply, trying to remain calm, though your words tremble slightly. "I'll keep that in mind. For now, I'm just… trying to manage my own insecurities."

Makime's sly smile widens slightly, as if he's enjoying your discomfort. "Insecurities, huh? We all have our internal struggles, (Y/N), but you shouldn't be carrying all that weight alone." He takes a step closer, his presence feeling more intimidating than ever, his hand squeezing yours. "Remember, we're on the same team."

Your mind twists with conflicting thoughts, the desire to trust fighting against the fear of falling into his trap. His every word seems like a rope squeezing your throat, a rope that threatens to choke any truth you may be about to reveal. You realize you are in a dangerous game, one where every move can be fatal.

"Ahh! Anyway, I don't want to delay your work. I hope you have a desirable performance this week, don't get distracted yes?" Makime's eyes keep searching for some chink in your armor, looking you in the eye as you struggle to stand your ground, you realize that every word you choose could be the final nail in your own coffin.

"Y-yeah, well I'm out" You could hardly think straight and more so when he ended up kissing the back of your hand.