#really do not want to be lynched online.

[fionnaskyborn]

god's strongest [redacted] hater but i am being respectful about it. as anyone should. cannot fathom the kind of people who will go out of their way to harass others just because of the laws of mileage may vary.

which won't stop me from exploding [redacted] as a construct with my mind every time i come across it which is. almost daily. pain and suffering

[firelightmlpoc]

Hey, just wanted to say good on you for standing up against the completely batshit accusations that have been thrown around the fandom lately. I cannot fathom how anyone believed those screenshots for even a second. I doubt you���ll get an answer, since the harassers are stuck in an echo chamber of validating their actions and will likely just stick their heads in the sand and pretend they can’t hear you. It sucks ass, but seeing that there are at least some people who will publicly question this bullshit is refreshing.

Of course. There’s a reason ‘innocent until proven guilty’ is something that’s supposed to be a baseline for an accusation of actions that have caused harm. After all, if someone makes a false accusation that then is treated as true, then another innocent person gets harmed, & then the waters get muddied for any other accusations thereafter.

After all, if someone lied about harm done & then makes another accusation, who’s to say that accusation isn’t just another lie? Something-something, ‘boy who cried wolf’. Then it also makes any other accusations in the nearby vicinity seem lest trustworthy because people don’t want to be wrong again.

Some people solely jumped on this hate-train specifically because it was against Pansear Doodles, & wouldn’t have interacted with this accusation at all if it didn’t center around someone they didn’t already dislike.

You want proof? Easy.

Look at the accounts saying ‘I always knew that Pansear was bad! Good to get proven right…’ and then look at their accounts. Almost always, they’ve been bashing Pansear (and other artists who do shipping of Slugcats & other similar art) because they just didn’t like the topic. And, instead of just acknowledging that they don’t like that content & moving on, they internalize that dislike & then try to find a reason to attach said dislike to the author. Then, they look for anything the author did wrong (be it true or not) & suddenly cry out:

‘I was right all along for hating this person!!!’

There’s an account that replied to my earlier post which REALLY clearly shows this in action.

@hourglass-meadow .

This reply is what they said.

An ask they responded to directly about Pansear. (Long-winded, yadayada.)

Their response:

And their first response to seeing Pansear gone.

Now, you know how many posts they made about Pansear potentially being a problem? None, except for the ArtiHunter comic, which has nothing actually ’problematic’ within. What about an ‘I hope the victim can find peace…’? Nonexistent.

These people don’t care if these allegations are true or not.

They don’t care who else gets hurt in this mess, as long as it isn’t someone in their circle.

They just want to see a ‘bad guy’ who is someone they don’t like get punished.

They want to claim their righteousness for all the world to see, as they cast judgement; a lynching in the court of public opinion.

And all of this targeting, IF this is fake, is more-or-less because people didn’t like seeing Pansear & others making /shipping/ art.

Because they saw someone else making something that THEY deemed ‘weird.’

There’s something to be said about the current political climate here, be it the Puritanical aspect of eliminating anything ’other’, ‘weird’, or ‘disgusting’ from sight no matter how innocuous/harmless it is;

the ‘Guilty until Proven Innocent’ mindset going around that makes actual victims more liable to not out their abuser out of concern for what will happen to their abuser (As, statistically speaking, abusers tend to be someone close to the abused, before abuse starts.)

Or even just the fact that people are simply emboldened to be as shitty as possible while they believe they’re anonymous online, because they’re of the mindset that they’re immune to consequences because they aren’t being directly known by these internet people in-person.

Don’t believe me? Look at every account celebrating Pansear’s self-eviction from the Rainworld community. Look at their actions & words from before this accusation. And then check what I said again. Cross reference this shit. See that the majority don’t care if there was a victim, much less if the potential victim is ok now or not; they just wanted someone they didn’t like, for one arbitrary reason or another, gone.

Cruelty was the point of many people’s actions against Pansear here, & by jove did they get what they wanted.

Remember folks! Remember this well:

No matter how much you align with leopards-that-eat-people’s-faces, the leopards won’t think twice about your face being next on their dinner plate.

That’s enough words from me for the time being, however.

[agentgrange]

I saw this post and couldn't stop thinking about it, so here is the answer I gave after some consideration-- I'll tell you when I find out. Sometimes it really feels like it depends on your Agents, and what they're accustomed to. I have two groups that I play with, one is mostly serious with a handful of gallows humor quips while the other one is absolutely clown-shoes-goof-goof-times. You could lovingly craft a deeply unsettling body-horror scene or run a tried-and-true encounter straight out of an established campaign and your mileage will greatly vary depending on your audience. That's not *necessarily* a bad thing, a handlers job is to guide a narrative in a way that's first and foremost fun for the players. If they want to take it seriously and buy into the horror they will, but if they want a bit of levity then there's nothing wrong with playing to the crowd. But I do really, really empathize with struggling to convey the awesome and terrible might of some cosmic horror with nothing but your words in a group of people that (hopefully) instinctively feel at ease and jovial while fooling around playing games with their buddies. Here's a few practical pieces of advice I can give you.

Try to cultivate an unsettling environment for your players. This one seems obvious but is actually really hard to get down right, especially when people mostly play online these days. But you’d be surprised how much regularly providing good visual aids, a Discord bot playing ambient music, and a good playlist can really set the tone for your session. Don’t just provide visual aids for the money shots of alien greys and deep ones either, running a campaign based on The Conspiracy era gives you ample opportunity to post a ton of weird, liminal 90s photographs to set the vibe for everyone even during otherwise mundane scenes.

Make a point of explaining to your players the difference between what they are experiencing and what their characters are experiencing. Yes, facing off against a 8ft tall fish man with a crossbow is inherently ridiculous as a fictional abstract. Its an entirely different experiencing actually being there, face to face under an incredible amount of stress seeing something that should not exist. In a lot of ways your players aren’t their characters so much as they are mad gods guiding their characters’ fates. THEY can laugh from the safety of this higher dimension we all exist in, that’s part of the fun. Hell their characters might even have a passing thought or two about how absurd the situation might be—but that entire time they’re fighting their lizard-brained instincts just to stop from mentally imploding. Let them laugh, but then tell them how their characters' hands might be shaking, or how any clever quip they wanted to say just comes out as a mumble as their body betrays whatever thoughts their rational mind tries to convey.

Know the rules of comedy. Comedy usually needs a straight-man, so if your players are goofing around don’t be afraid to give them a straight-man NPC to react to their antics in a way that makes it feel like you’re in on the bit but keeps the narrative going. Better yet, try to get ahead of it. Set up designated low-stakes areas in your story that are designed to add a bit of levity. They say comedy comes in threes, so you should structure these segments to let your agents to do some dumb shit about three times before they get all the sillies out and are ready to move on. And the emotional highs during these side quests will just make the crushing lows in the main plot feel that much more horrifying.

Building off that last one I have one more secret, forbidden technique. Buyer beware on this one honestly, but I cannot overstress just how much. Players. Love. Silly. Characters. And as David Lynch has proven, you can have silly characters that are still deeply unsettling. Try adding a few characters in that flip the script on your players and make *them*  want to play the role of the straight-man reacting to what your NPCs are doing every once in a while. If done right, it can kind of trick them into taking things seriously or feel like the eerie out of place comedy is at their character’s expense even if the players are in on it.

I hope some of this was at least partially useful. Good luck out there.

[drdemonprince]

i would pay so much fucking money for a devon price novel and i am not joking. tell me where to preorder that shit. or drop your reccs 👉👈 (yes i have read bluebeard’s castle)

Thank you for the support! I'm about 25k words in of what should be about 100k words by the end (pray for me that i dont get too Loquacious), and that's before several deep rounds of editing and then deciding what the fuck I want to actually do with this thing (serializing on a separate Substack is one idea; self-publishing as an ebook is another, but I also might try to sell it to at least a small press), so you're quite a ways out from getting to read it. I've never properly SAT on a work of fiction before -- I've always worked on longer fiction live, publishing it chapter by chapter online, and I rush to get my short stories out too, but this one feels precious and I really want to get it right.

In the meantime, here are some fiction recommendations for you. Some of them are inspirations for this book, others are just fiction that I have read lately that really connected with me. Some of it might be informing completely separate work, nothing to do with this novel. They're approximately in the order of most to least likely to connect with you, if you enjoyed Bluebeard's Castle by Anna Biller:

Beautiful World, Where Are You? by Sally Rooney

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

The Stepford Wives by Ira Levin

Darryl by Jackie Ess

The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer by Jennifer Lynch

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind

American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis (lots of people think the novel version is far inferior to the movie, but I read it after becoming enchanted by the musical adaptation and now I am a stan of just, gosh everything to do with it)

the novel project is also really strongly informed by the games Life is Strange, LiS Before the Storm, and Who's Lila. a little bit of gone girl and queer as folk is swirled around in there too. astute readers of this blog will by now see why this project is so close to my heart. an entire lifetime of shit i care about is getting packed into here

[lovethatmakingcoffee]

So!

how many more content creators are going to be accused of being called a pedophile with no hard evidence, a police warrant, anything physical and it's by an anonymous tweet from some stranger online who would rather tell social media than I don't know... HAVE THEM GET ARRESTED BY THE POLICE?!

How many more creators, huh?! How many?! How many more YouTubers, twitch streamers, singers, animators, artists?! How many of you are gonna jump on them???? And it's so easy if it's a guy, right? So easy! And no matter how they react, whether it's calm and calculated, shutting down their channel as a whole, or answering immediately yet obviously angry about it- they are always ALWAYS GUILTY. what happened to innocent until proven guilty? And eo is this person? That they are willing to fan the flames and accuse someone of something so terrible online??? Who are u?????

Why do this now? Why do it how at the HEIGHT of Forever's popularity? Why not do it before so he was never on the qsmp or even long before that? Or in the middle at all???? Why now? That is my question? If this is all true, why now? And why use social media? Why not go to the police if he really did a crime? You are accusing someone of a very terrible thing. Why not do it properly instead of searching for Internet clout? What're we supposed to do? The only thing we can, huh? Cancel. Because that's what u want. Is to cancel him. When he was obviously so loved by the masses yesterday. When he had all those cruise pic photos showing how good his life was. Yeah, I don't think u want him arrested or lynched. No, u want to cancel him. Making me wonder if there was ever a real çrime.

Which I wonder quite often with these cases.

And GUYS. HEADS UP! You know whose next? Hm? It'll probably be Wilbur, probably being said that he approached some underage girl on tour or whatever. Or maybe it'll be quackity or hell, even Philza! Oh, Etoiles got cancelled not so long ago, let's cancel him again! Oh what about Bagerha or Cellibit? Let's throw Charlie into the mix. Ironmouse will be hard to cancel cause she's been locked inside of her room all her life and has a very dedicated fanbase, but I'm sure you bastards will find something.

So mhm, everyone is nexted because antis have proven it to be so easy to get rid of someone they don't like. Gone the next day. All of them are suspectable to it. Cause u know why? Cause they are stupid humans who have said stupid shit! And you will just take anything they said and did and run with it!!! Every time! So it's only a matter of time until someone new gets targeted. And depending on how tough skinned they are, they will disappear in a matter of seconds.

Let's just throw all of qsmp away while we're at it! No more eggs, no more community, blah blah blah! Something problematic will happen and you all will jump on it and say 'oh, I never liked them anyway'. Which is such a lie! Such bullshit, u are all bullshitters.

And I know for a fact that y'all aren't saints. We have all said disgusting jokes. Race, lgbt, whatever! We've all done it- don't lie! Here, I'll go first. I joked about a school shooting the other day with my friends. There, cancel me. I gave you the ammunition, now take your fucking shot.

This happens every god damn time someone u enjoy gets popular too fast. They get called a pedo, or a racist, or a transphobe or anything easy to spark the mob. I have seen it time and time again with creators running away because theyve been chased off their respective platforms. I saw an artists make the most beautiful art ever, get accused of being a pedo by one person, everyone joined in for some reason and chased her away. I will never not be bitter about that. I HATE ALL OF YOU WHO DID SUCH A THING AND IF I EVER GOT MY HANDS ON YOU I SWEAR TO GOD. But I am sick of people 'finding' or bringing shit to light or whatever and then just post it online! Like fuck! If he really did a crime! Arrest him! But he didn't, did he? Cause that's the fucking game we are playing rn.

Such hypocrites, it's fascinating. Literally yesterday you were kissing this mans feet and exhaling him, but one anon person saw that and chose violence. And you just.... changed your minds???? Like that? Like a switch of a button? Crazy, actually crazy, and childish.

How come everyone flips and flops so easily on the internet??? How is it so easy for you????? And how can u other supposed fans just accept it so easily??? I will never understand and I will bite and claw at all of you. You all loved him 24 hours ago and now with the bare minimum of evidence you flip? You all would be terrible on jury duty. I hope none of you ever get on jury duty.

Anyway, I'll probably get a ton of backlash from this post and delete it later, waking up in the morning with tons of hate. But I don't care. Prove him guilty. Get the hard evidence that he is a pedo and I will believe it when I see it. Have him be in damn cuffs. Get the mugshot. If that is at all true! But I'm not putting my life and art on pause for conveniently timed discourse.

Maybe I'll delete this post tomorrow. But now I'm fuming at all of you.

And yeah, as for me, I had a shit disgusting last year, qsmp and especially forever was one of the few things that got me out of it and calmed me down. And you guys are going to be talking about how wrong and problematic the things he said that was (what was it?) 8 years ago!!! Then guess what, I love a very problematically spoken parent that would make all of you quake and vomit the moment she opened her mouth. But also, that woman saved me from being homeless. For giving me a place to stay after being DEPORTED. So, if u need a little kindergarten lesson today, internet, is that people will say all sorts of horrible cancelable shit, but it's what they actually do, that really matters.

Goodnight.

[theevilmaninyourcomputer]

A soft critique of Luigi Mangione:

We have to keep in mind that this ties into a much larger conversation about the morality of gun violence.

 Been thinking about the weaponization of non-violent protest. We're taught that Gandhi, Mandela, MLK, etc. are the heroes, whereas people like Malcolm X are dangerous, insurgent threats to public safety. And the 'peaceful' revolutionaries DID enact change, but their ideologies are being manipulated. When we're told that the solution to systemic injustice is 'non-violent protest,' the outcome is complacency. Empty picket signs, and inaction.

But vigilante justice is really, really dangerous, and it's been popularized by this image of the 'gun slinger,' the lone rider who is subservient to no one, but whose moral compass is unfailingly and unequivocally correct. This is ESPECIALLY exacerbated by the whole, idk, FIREARM PROLIFERATION THING !!! We need legal safeguards, if we don't have legal safeguards, innocent people get hurt. Even though, in this case, everyone can generally agree that Brian Thompson 'deserved' what happened to him. For what that's worth. Thompson was a figurehead, and this assassination is HOPEFULLY the catalyst for something larger.

It's easy to praise Mangione for what he did because it was 'good', but then you have to consider where assassinations slot into the larger discussion of vigilante violence. It's messy. Think about ‘stand your ground’ laws, wherein a person can shoot someone based simply on the feeling that they are at risk even if walking away and avoiding the confrontation is a reasonable alternative. These laws effectively legalize lynchings. There was this one case, Ahmaud Arbery, who was a black jogger who was shot and killed by three men on conviction of having robbed a store. Obviously, that's fucking morally reprehensible. And it furthers my point. There isn't a lot separating Ahmaud's shooter from Mangione, legally. Just that we FEEL like one was deserved, while the other was unjust.

As a note, violence doesn't immediately cease to be vigilante violence when it's systemic. Take police brutality, for example. Cops kill on conviction, and exist as arbiters of the law. They are bound only to themselves, and so, they are unbound. They are the law, and so exist above it.

I brought this up to a friend, and they responded, "would you punish someone for killing Hitler?"

Can killing on conviction be righteous? Can violence be moral? Who are we to decide that Mangione is innocent?

School shooters decide who deserves to die. Mangione decided that Thompson deserved to die. Again, I'm not saying that Mangione was wrong, just that TikTokers flagrantly echoing 'free Mangione' is a little unsettling. I want people to understand the breadth of this situation, because non-violence CAN TURN INTO complacency, that's true. And sometimes, violence is absolutely necessary. But not in every circumstance.

I saw this comment under an Instagram post, and it really speaks for itself.

That's the problem. In this instance, I think it was really, really effective. I'm not anti violent protest. But, we're so detached from reality and chronically online we say things like "our generation is so unserious 🤣🤣🤣" and in doing so, we squash movements before they actually get off the ground.

Furthermore, the response to this reminds me a LOT of the Jeffery Dahmer fandom, the people who disregard the incredibly fucked up things he did because he was attractive. I'm not equating the two, but we need to have these conversations. It's dangerous if we don't. What if Luigi Mangione hadn't been a hot white man? What if he'd been black? What if he'd been middle eastern? Would the response be the same?

I'll spell this out - the answer is NO.

I'm SICK of performative TikTok liberalism. So help me God, we're not going to do performative activism. We're not going to write fanfiction about the shooter. We're not going to aestheticize this assassination to the point of ineffection. We're going to strike fucking terror into the hearts of the 1%. We're going to incite legitimate change. And we're not going to let this live and die when the current cycle of memes dwindles out.

I hope insurance CEOs everywhere are fearing for their wellbeing right now. God knows, so many Americans have been for so long. 

[matrixwhore]

IWTV S2 Watch Thoughts EP 1

This is technically a rewatch, but I literally just finished watching this for the first time like yesterday and i'm watching it again 🤭

It's been a while...that is one part intentional and was always going to be the way I approached S2. It was also one part very necessary that I took time away from online and just focus on my life, and one part so much anticipation of the show that I couldn't watch it until I was absolutely ready. This show means a lot to me for a lot of reason beyond just watching it. So yeah I'm gonna just stick with the point of this post. I am watching IWTV from a disability lense. Among the other themes and different angles to look at what's happening on the show I often consider how disability/ableism interacts with blackness, how it interacts with ageism, how it interacts with mental instability, how it interacts with gender, religion, class etc. etc. etc. etc. I'm mostly doing this for me to get my thoughts out, but I love to talk about this show, so I just want people to keep in mind the angle I come to this w if for whatever reason there's something to say about what I got to say (not that, that really matters in the grand scheme). It seems obvious to me why this lens is necessary, but I'll note here that the show literally opens in S1 with an aged disabled man staring down the finality of his life and deciding to chase after the fountain of youth/the fountain of forever that never flows with water (I'll never stop thinking about that conversation on here!) that refreshes no one even as they are imbued with power (supernatural ability).

Season one was structured like a hunt being played out like games. Poker, then chess and then at the end the play (as in the staged play but also as in the hand in the game!) was revealed. In S2 there's a clear interaction with being in a staged play and being on trial and that matters to me because how often trials are like plays especially when you are being judged as a person with intersecting marginalized identities. I think about who is a witness, and who gets to testimony with their voice, and when and why someone is judged as guilty and who is directing the play (and trial), and who gets a speaking role, and what do they get to say when they are allowed to speak. Lynchings for black people were trials fast tracked to executions, they didn't have a say about the supposed "crime" they committed, about their death as as result of their supposed guilt and about the fact that their death existed as entertainment much like these plays, for the white people who attended with their children even. (This too is a conversation about disability. this is a conversation about ableism as the mechanism that keeps every marginalization/"ism" functioning as we know them, but lemme slow down) so...yeah, much to think about.

please this is about s1 but it shows up in the previously ons....the opening of the story Louis is telling that takes place in NOLA "the year was 1910" and we see the Fairplay in lights! AINT NOTHING FAIR ABOUT THIS PLAY! my chest is in knots

also Claudia as a poison, a venom. forbidden both as the forbidden fruit and the snake in the garden... I'll have to come back to this train of thought...maybe, maybe not idk. have we said this already? the thinking pieces are many on here.

anyways!

(9 minutes into the show this is already so long I'm putting this under a read more)

What Can the Damned Really Say to the Damned?

In the title the war is on top (somewhere Beyonce's love on top is playing...I know it is...) bombs being dropped on what would be heaven if not for the fact that they are already in hell. It is not just the vampires with hungry mouths for death, it is also the cities themselves (oh I did say this somewhere already I'm sure)

thinking about their escape from what they perceived as hell equating/being: existing under Lestat and his domination over them, is revealed as just one facet of the hell that has always already existed around them. I wonder sometimes if they had managed to find somewhere that wasn't even more war torn than the life they left behind (leave the battle to join the war. win the battle to lose the war foreshadow foreshadow) what that could have been for their relationship because my heart weeps okay?! But Claudia knows she has to find other vampires. she isn't enough for him no matter what Louis tells himself to dream at night.

_____________

Claudia doesn't dream, she goes after the life she believes she deserves and that's what I think she wants Louis to know when she insists she doesn't dream. That is what she finds he fails in relating to her on i think. it's one of the things anyway. Maybe she's also saying all she has is nightmares. There are no dreams. not in her waking, not in her sleep. Idk im getting ahead of it.

Louis: "She might have said that to shut me up, but yet, she writes it here. So, let's believe it"

Daniel: "Let's."

keeping in mind everything is part of the play/trial. also that the trial that takes her life itself is a spector over their lives. that the journals were and still are Claudia's only voice (the only space she had the ability to express honestly and the only space where they "listen" to her) and how they are used out of context to legitimize or delegitimize her in their (Louis, the court, lestat, Daniel, Armand and on and on.) own experience even with her. ugh so much so much I'll get to it.

_____________

please delainey is already so cute climbing out the ground 🤭 murdering dying soldiers. das my baby fr! nobody touch me! i wanna raise her. i too would have begged to keep her! 😭 (don't remind me of this when I'm on Louis about this....I get to keep truths in the shadow too! I'm ahead of myself!)

thinking about the fact that they dig their own graves for the days, bury themselves to sleep and then every night they crawl out of their graves to keep on enduring hell (foreshadow foreshadow). the imagery of the birth of a vampire in many other vampire lores being crawling out of their own graves comes to mind. and this is kind of their birth seeing as how this is them as vampires officially out on their own for the first time really.

____________

Armand continually cutting in is taking if FOR ME personally. He is so funny like you're 500 year old parent trying to make jokes pleaseee. 🤭 this is followed closely by Claudia throwing Louis the ripped out heart of a dying soldier.

____________

let us take a moment with Louis to ponder Claudia's inability to dream as a deficit. meanwhile he is tormented by his dreams even in his waking. his dreams being made up of dreamlestat makes me think his pondering of her lack of dreaming here is related to his inner belief about whether or not she is capable of love. his nightmares are linked to his love for lestat and the torment it causes him to have been involved in his "demise". so I wonder if he has this view of her lack of dreaming because she was able to kill lestat and would have had he not intervened. and because he doesn't feel she loves him--Louis. and because he doesn't see her anger towards him as rooted in love loss because of the betrayal she feels. love loss would indicate she can and did love him and he lost that love. she is seen as someone who can't love. just like she can't dream. because it's easier to ponder these things as a deficit in Claudia for him. (for now)

Armand likens it to the sleep of an infant while she out there providing for Louis and herself. I have to laugh. Such is her existence. she got the papers, she facilitates the meals, she makes the plans, she learning all the languages, she still the baby! even though she's not. because she is. even when she's not.

(off topic, kind of, but I saw a gif set of Assad saying Armand would love Buffy and it made me so happy. I agree and his favorite episode is Buffy S6 I can't remember the episode number..maybe 5 or 6, but it's the tabula rasa episode! He was on his tablet writing a think piece about why Willow is misunderstood in that episode when he was playing Rashid. He might be writing it right now at the table 😂. I like to think his username was TheRealRashid, because it makes me laugh even more every time Daniel calls the real real Rashid "Real Rashid").

__________

The switch from the very controlled way Armand appeared in S1 as Rashid to the very relaxed way he appears now. Is this the first we see him in white? He wants to be seen as an angel so badly. one thing about Armand he gonna let that chest peak! I like this white button down!

He's not part of the interview but he's at the table, he's not eating bc he is no longer an actor he's directing, the table is part of his home, but his home is the stage, this is all part of the play/trial. viewers included, we are all part of it (the writers did allude to that before the season started, but it's exciting to experience it) the play and are all on trial. the Théâtre des Vampires is also a haunting over their lives.

________

Claudia calling Louis dumb, Louis playing dumb ,made me laugh a little bit. it made me laugh! I'm sorry. but it fascinates me because she cannot get around without an adult, but here she passes him off as an invalid because she is leading this expedition and he is barely useful in this journey. I think it's interesting that Louis doesn't consider she might be too tired to dream when he is under the framework of believing she doesn't dream.

________

She also doesn't talk to him but she writes everything. I have so much to say on Claudia and her journals, but I really want to get into it more when we get to the trials. She can't talk to him and have her full experience considered. Also he literally choked her. He always talks about it like she's angry because he wouldn't let her burn lestat, but he doesn't reflect much on how he stopped her from doing that. he knows it's fucked up enough when lestat did it to her. he doesn't consider that he choked the trust out of their relationship.

ALSO

Louis never drank from black people in NOLA so this, I guess, this is his first time of being confronted with drinking blood as drinking life meaning whatever life the person lived being consumed can be miserable. he is confronted with this now because the inescapable misery of this war. (inescapable misery......) this makes me think about who lestat chooses to kill and how Louis viewed him for who he chose. it makes me think of when they drank from the tenor who mostly led a good life. it makes me think about how lestat is ruled by hedonism in many ways. it also makes me think about this as his abuse and monstrosity doubling as sheltering them from the dreadful scope vampirism. I imagine lestat figured this out on his own and that is something he considered when choosing his victims. he learned to read their minds as part of his hunt and that's what he passed on to Louis. he learned to consider their inner world before drinking from them. they, Louis and Claudia, don't have the luxury of doing that where they are right now. There is no escape from the misery. there is no life untouched by the chill of death in this all consuming war. there's no dreaming. no hope. only surviving. tho I do think the only hope he has is dreamlestat and that is also torment. I think about how Louis' vampirism is an all consuming war. and I do want to jump just a little. just a little!

Claudia staring at that fire like oh we really speaking French now talking about "we're taking it all in." and "we can't get warm." even tho Claudia has only known a life on fire she has never been able to stay warm, but okay Louis.

I really like this scene. Louis talking to himself is a running theme that I'm kind of obsessed with.

_______

Louis knocking off that jaw and it turning to dust means something! It means something!!!! Claudia's hope for a future with vampires better than lestat being a long dead thing. a dead on arrival thing. what he did to them being turned to dust at Louis' touch. I think about that in terms of how the hard truth that they where better off with out him being as good as dust to Louis at this point anyway. even if he can't say it out loud.

_______

I know that dead weight hit, but at least she put it in a journal Louis! he would have never known had he not read it. but you 🫵🏾 Louis! you like to say that quiet part out loud! I can only do so much understanding!

________

"Unworthy in San Francisco, unworthy in Dubai. Disregard!" I'm sure there's something to say here but I cannot stop laughing. He really went from dad jokes to scorned mother talking shit.

_______

Claudia still taking souvenirs. I was gonna ask what does she even need the gun for. I can think of how it can be used even by vampires. but I doubt it's being used.

_________

I know why the caged bird crawls out of lestat's neck and flies away!

__________

bloodletting anyone always used to feel like murder until he murdered lestat (the only one who isn't actually fully dead). do we call this growth? im joking

__________

in romania is really the upfront conversation of what do people believe about what they witness. what do they cast doubt over in order to shield themselves with. and off the strength of even possibility what precautions do they take? I like that this happens before we get to the theater in Paris that makes a show out of this very thin line.

anyways the excitement of possible vampires that aren't lestat (and Louis) break Claudia's silent treatment.

__________

Emilia said "you will make the friends" because vodka surely that is a unifying vice. but they black Emilia. they aren't just American. they are black. I have to laugh.

___________

I just know Claudia is tried of seeing Louis' walls come down, quiver, at the sight of any half decent looking white man with an accent. because what is there to trust about him enough to break character right now??n(that he ends up as the someone untrustworthy by this very same man later on like...)

I need time to think irt to memory and Louis. I'll circle back.

__________

Daniel hanging on to the legitimacy of this interview like a life line. his power lies in the investigation he's more than capable of.

_________

something something about kids turning darkness into song, and Claudia being an eternal morbid child likened to a caged bird singing with clipped wings imprisoned in an eternal night and still not fitting in with these morbid singing children who's wings have been clipped by war and occupation something something and the looming threat of the vampire on them all.

__________

the cover being searching for his wife with a picture of his sister, while he looks for vampires with his daughter/sister now provider. this is so normal. all of this is so so normal.

"up your bum" I am laughing. I am laughing. this is all so normal. Morgan said "I know what you are"

what I have to say about memory and Louis is tied in with something I have to say about Louis being regarded always as exceptionally untrustworthy in comparison to those around him (who also lie). I need to chew on it a bit.

even when he wants to be genuine (giving his real name) he is lying (just looking for his wife). are his intentions nefarious in this lie. not exactly, but by the very nature of being a vampire yes, but not in the way this man is thinking of it, except to this man exactly in the way he is thinking of it. because oh! he is black and it does matter. This white man feels it his duty to keep this black man in line with the rules and the laws (themes motifs we'll see this again, we see this often). never mind what it would mean for him to turn back and take his punishment for his black daughter who this white man has seen and knows would be left alone should this Louis turn back and take his punishment. because they do see her as a child. so does she also go back to take her punishment as well? and what is her crime? and if no crime. isn't it still a punishment she would suffer regardless? isn't her fate always intwined with the ways in which Louis doesn't adhere to laws and rules expected of the black man. expected of the fledgling vampire. I see this in so many ways as Louis still fatally underestimating how his vampirism (and his blackness) separates him from others existing in time and space in a way that he does not.

(preemptive anxieties: anyone with the urge to tell me it's not about Louis being black should remind themselves that they flat out have Louis calling himself the magical vodka negro and keep it.)

_________

delainey is so infectious the way she plays Claudia's excitement. 🥺

Louis said baboons. please this why she told that man you dumb Louis.

_________

something something lestat left in a dump yard to feed on rats. something something them sleeping in where the rats lived, something something the rats at the theater to come and Claudias fate (more later), something something Louis to share a rat meal with lestat. something somethings.

_________

"why you laughing with them giving out your real name?"

like I said, Claudia perceived in her coldness, but her coldness is her awareness of their vampirism and how it separates them and their blackness and how it separates them and her black girlhood/womanhood and how it separates her from Louis.

thinking about the difference between the old vampires with powerful blood running through their veins and options of blood to feed on and the old vampires that are seemingly weak by comparison being sick. sick by the the age maybe? the misery? and maybe the blood they have to survive on...

________

oh yeah Louis is also choking the life out of their "freedom" by carrying lestat with them. there's also that.

I wanna cry that the one vampire that she "finds" that isn't a bastard is one she has to have made and that's so very short lived.....

_______

so this thing with Louis actively working through his memory right. the reveals come in his being able to testimony. Dubai also serves as a trial and here Louis gets to speak. and here Claudia only gets to say what's written in her journal and what we know of her experience is still perceived by the men who pick apart her experience by way of her journals. it's important that Claudia writes down that she doesn't dream. tells Louis that she doesn't dream. but is seen by Louis most likely dreaming. so does she not remember her dreams? does she lie to Louis and her self about those dreams? Does she not qualify them as dreams because they are nightmares? We will never know. We will never know because she does not get to testimony. She does not matter as a witness. Louis as a witness and his testimony is held under the same ableist scrutiny that victims of abuse, survivors of assault, black people, and mentally ill people critically face when it comes to the law. Do they speak of what they remember perfectly? Do they get to speak at all? and when they don't remember perfectely they are liars even if it's just that they are remembering incorrectly. Even if they believe what they remember and tell it that way because they believe it. I know that he does lie, but THEY ALL LIE. everyone. he is seen as exceptional in this often by the viewers included because we are also part of the play and the trial and like the audience at the theater (I do recall the great "Louis is a liar" wave of s1) and by everyone around him even tho he suffers from what is only natural about memory and age as well and memory irt to trauma and mental illness as well as memory irt to the difference of perspectives. This is why it is very important that Daniel is the other side of this memory coin. he is also the other witness that corroborates a truth about San Francisco that is missing for both of them, but we will get to that. Mental illness and blackness (and for Claudia girlhood/womanhood intersecting with blackness) disable credibility. disable worthiness. disable fair play! I want to get into Claudia more, but I will later.

and I think this moment with Louis crying because he is able to uncover a truth beyond his Claudia's diaries and what she says to him, hidden within his own memories is really one of the first times Daniel is forced to confront the full scope of Louis humanity. his experience. he is uncomfortable with the rawness of authenticity not because he hasn't seen Louis cry. I think because he also carried an inner belief that Louis is a liar. that his is not a credible source rather than that his is a traumatized vampire that is reaching back through time to make the monster that is memory reveal what is real and true about what happened all those years ago. I consider his sarcasm when Louis stressed how important it was that they got every detail right. that they got them accurately. this eats at him. and this is the first time Daniel has to sit with viewing Louis as a meal as well.

__________

anyways there's a trial in romania as well. on whether Emilia is a monster for having possibly been bit by one. the very possibility of truth in superstition means her head rolls. the occupying soldiers are the judge, jury, and executioner. and even though this situation does involve a vampire, the fallout and impact of what vampires do to humanity are viewed, by Louis and Claudia, as a separate human issue that they will not involve themselves in. because their aim here to join that issue and make friends with it. in a way they cannot with non-vampire humans.

__________

the caged bird sings to scare the locals! (well in this case not the locals but you get my point)

__________

Forgive me, I keep hearing They Not Like Us every time I see this vampire omg!

he's no good as a vampire anymore because Claudia disabled him by taking his eyes, so he dies. and the vampire who kills him prophesies Claudia's demise it seems, dreams only for a moment a life with them off of Claudia's sweet blood (with the power of lestat coursing through it) and she then jumps in the fire. for the hopelessness and the endless loss, and probably for having been the one to have to kill her own son and also for not being able to make anyone new vampires.

the blood is no good for turning vampires. Louis says "maybe you need better blood" where she gonna get it Louis? where can she get this elusive better blood?

"all those that in darkness go into the darkness" she says this to Claudia specifically. then she jumps into the fire and burns! that means something I know it does. as well as the rest of what she says that feel very much like a warning. dreams give you their names and die right before your very eyes.

__________

I was getting side-eyed for noting that it's (seemingly) been many nights since the warmth of infatuation and the heat of needy fucking transpired in this home of theirs. but there that groan is. in between them. like I am truly a loumand fuck crazy and nasty truther, it's just the chill is right here before my very eyes in the text. that freaky feeding at the dinner table in front of Daniel was a reawakening that's all I was saying. that's all I was saying! 🤭

I wanna believe someone figured out what book that was on Armand's iPad...if someone did. I wanna know.

Armand goes from notes in the margin participation to directing the course of this thing.

He is on the record and now Louis is leading the expedition in the past! I love that their intimacy is always played up when they really get into the act! and we are certainly on a different act.

and now Armand is dressed in grey. just little observations. it means something im sure.

_______

the hard words and soft words from Louis! He really does weave through being brother and father and mother. their relationship is so normal. He wanna believe he's being real with her even with dreamlestat sitting right there. He's choosing and she's choosing to believe him. they both need it.

[trollsgalore]

Well our fame came to an all time high so I suppose it's time to explain what's going on and I truly wonder just how many people will be reading this. Either out of anger or curiosity or those who enjoy drama.

Long time ago I joined this fandom with a few of my friends and we enjoyed art over the years. blogs came and went and so did artists. My friends and I thought "oh hey what if we just dumped a bunch of pics online and see peoples reactions." So we took a vote and put together this blog.(the nsfw blog was from a couple of us so we thought we would throw that in here as well) It really wasn't supposed to be coherent or stable. i mean hell we came up with writing very broken english on purpose. But what truly shocked us was the amount of shall we say feedback? we got on here. We laughed tbh. A few of you respectfully asked we take their stuff down and we were about to until the pure passion arrived! So we took votes and decided to just wait and see what would happen. And boy did we! i mean one person (I won't mention because you'll get your fame from us even more!) literally took who knows how long of their time to call us out. we took that time from you. Well i stole life from you (i was handling this blog that day). So many limited breaths and your life was shortened but, that's not the point. I posted those ss to show, not out of pride, but to call those who supported this blog out. I mean, look at those likes! and we took roughly 15 ss. but decided to just shorten to the better well known blogs. hopefully you're still reading this because of one reason or another. We could say we were ginger or the pro trump jim blog or tunafish or any one who was just some rando weirdo hiding in the shadows as the cult of the one fic which we shall not name haunted this fandom back in 2019. seriously it wasn't that good. i wrote that just now to see how many people got mad from it. changeling jim sucks. do original content people. and fanart of fanart? lame. be original. but hey, look at that. lots of artists and others banded together in a lynch mob to tear down this blog and new life from hate sprouted in the trollhunters fandom once more. we took a vote and decided we had our fun and if this post gets enough attention we will in fact take this blog down because lets be honest literally every blog on tumblr could report us and the staff wont do shit. we wanted to make memories and now we have and we or at least i feel pride for it. oh another reason for the art picked by hand was because it was from very ancient dusty blogs or ones just not alive anymore so we knew the newer fans would be made aware of them. and that about covers all of it. i could add in more of what my group decided to write but ultimately its just repurposed explanations of what i wrote. i had to cut this down tbh. and as a random side thing you should for absolutely no reason check out these archive links!

excited to see the reactions we're going to get from this! and if you just are reading this because you cut to the chase. Well, we're happy we brought you another memory of the fandom =)

[nightcolorz]

I just stumbled across ur blog and idk what's going on but I feel like a huge thing this rando guy is missing is that the producers would not fucking get away with having Armand do a lynching like if that was really true no one would want to watch the show after that and you'd see people up in arms but it's just this one random guy

YES EXACTLY LMAO 😭. It’s one thing to say “the trial scene has some subtle, none literal thematic ties to lynchings” it’s another thing to say “Armand is Lynching them and that’s what’s genuienly happening and liking Armand is bad bcus he LYNCHED BLACK PPL” like that is INSANE!!! This is what I mean when I say that these anons genuinely are brain rotted and live in the nineth circle of hell bcus if u told any interview with the vampire fan who wasn’t actively online and just watched the show as a casual fan that Armand is anti black and lynches people they would be like “wtf??? Does he??” 😭😭. Interview with the vampire is a show full of terrible people and of course the writers aren’t too shy to make there main characters do irredeemable things, but the producers literally told Rolin Jones “you can’t make Louis a slave owner like he was in the books bcus we do not want to portray extreme racial violence in this show it would be way too far for general audiences”. Like, armand is not meant to be perceived as a violent racist, that’s just objectively not what’s happening. If u want to headcanon or belive that, ok fine, but know that if u tell people that u can’t like Armand bcus of ur armand is violently racist headcanon they will think ur crazy! Armand is a main part of the cast and a main love interest, he’s meant to be a likable anti hero, the writers and actors talk all the time about how armand is highly sympathetic and complex and a good, likable character. They would not portray a violent anti black lyncher this way 💀💀just, give it a rest. Thank u anon for the support I feel like I’m going crazy 💀

[littlethingwithfeathers]

I'm grumpy about Silent Hill again...

TW for discussions of suicide, self harm, abuse (both parent to child and amongst peers) and general spookiness. Y'know... the usual Silent Hill rigmarole of trauma and despair. Also be warned that I'm going to spoil a lot of the Silent Hill series, in particular Silent Hill 2 and the Short Message game that just came out. ***

So... one of my most popular posts out there is this one. It's about Pyramid head and the loss of subtlety in media. And I couldn't help but feel like we hadn't moved an inch from when I posted that back in... *checks date on post* hrrk. my bones... 2017. I'm going to die soon. Anyway. Today I watched Second Wind do a run of the short, free-to-play Silent Hill: Short Message. I admittedly had a good bit of trepidation going in just because of the marketing. Which, for all of you marketing majors out there, that is called "Not a good sign." Marketing should make you want to play a game... especially if you're a fan of the series already. But this... it was a bit of a wet blanket, largely due to the fact that it spoiled a lot of the focus of the game. It basically said "this is a game about how bullying and being chronically online is real bad. We're gonna be spooky about it now." And... straining to push aside how incredibly reductive that is... why give it away? Why say it out loud? Why did you tell us what you are doing? Can you imagine Silent Hill 2 if we'd known it was about James killing his wife from the jump? We didn't. We hadn't the first clue. We knew nothing other than that he was looking for her and she was maybe dead? But we didn't know how... possibly lung cancer or TB given that she had the most pointed coughing sequence since the movie Tombstone. And hey... the last game had someone looking for a loved one too. Maybe that's the deal with Silent Hill. Who knows? No one did at that point. It was still a big old mystery for the most part. And then the E3 trailer... like there's the weird pretty lady in jail? But what's she talking about? Who the fuck is Mary? Is that... his wife? Well then who the hell is Ms. Miniskirt? No wait... is that his wife in the VHS tape? What the hell is going on? Oh look gameplay! And... a little girl? And a weird guy with a gun... This soundtrack slaps. I'm gonna go see if it's up on Napster yet. (this was 2001... again... my bones etc) I remember combing over low-res copies of that video for HOURS when it came out. Why are the nurses different? It's not snowing? Who are all these people... And why do they all sound like they put ketamine in their coffee. It was like a great big puzzle to work out and we had a ball theorizing and researching so when it came out we were HYPE. And that was largely because in short... we knew SOME things at release. Fog. Nurses. Big stick. Weird people. Banger soundtrack. Dead (but probably not) wife. And we presumed or supposed more... cult activity? New beasties? Radio maybe? But we effectively knew nothing about the plot. And the best part was, while they had a solid hook (Find dead lady who we love so huggy buggy much) and instant intrigue (Angela in the cemetery being weirder than a film by David Lynch), and a very familiar setting (we may have improved draw distance on the PS2, but we don't have to use it!), we still didn't really know what was going on. The plot was essentially unfolding out of a black box. Silent Hill 2 was quite content to be a slower burn than trying to boil the Lake Superior with a signal flare. You don't even see the main "villain" Pyramid Head until a few hours in and, as I pointed out in that other post, there's no flashy cut scene to introduce him and go WOOOOOO SCARYYYYY. He's just chillin' behind some prison bars (which that totes is normal in an apartment complex) and staring at you like I stare at the inside of my fridge when I really would like some cheese to materialize.

And then... like we're not even really sure what the hell is going on for the longest time. We meet our wife's hot twin with the key to a strip club and she keeps getting killed over and over... and things keep getting increasingly rapey and lewd in a way that's just uncomfortable more than anything... But even at the end. Even with the big reveal of "You killed your wife." they still don't ever explicitly state "And you killed her because you couldn't have sex with her anymore." It wasn't until you finished the game, and talked to someone else about it, or let your brain cook on it for a bit that you went... heyyyy... he's a horndog! (In fact... if I'm going to chide SH2 for anything it's that right at the very VERY end they tried to frame James's actions as understandable because the woman who was dying and frightened and in pain was mean to him. Yes, being a caretaker is hard. But Christ... pick a topic for discussion.) But contrast all that with Short Message. The marketing and such all said out loud "THIS IS ABOUT BULLYING" so even going in... I was already like "yep. The bully is probably us, but we had reasons because we have to be complicated and you aren't allowed to make the player feel bad" And lo was I correct. There was no... intrigue. I was never curious about the character or the people around her because I knew this story. They already told me what story they were telling so I could practically sing along, especially as a millennial that had to grow up watching little videos and skits in school about the evils of bullying. And when you are going to tell a trope-ish story, and you tell the audience what the trope is, it becomes "say the line" writ large. This isn't me advocating for super twisty unexpected plot arcs (looking at you, Supernatural). Far from it. You absolutely should tell a story in such a way that the audience understands how you got from point A to point Z, even if there are some surprises along the way (See Sixth Sense for that masterclass). Rather, what I'm missing from this (and frankly a lot of the Silent Hill games and honestly... media in general these days) is a sense of restraint. A sense of trust in their audience to "get it." They can't just plonk us in the fog with a radio and a stick and say "You're here to find your best friend/dog/cousin/wife/business partner. Good luck. Here's a weirdo to prattle cryptically at you in order to unsettle you immediately. Bye!" No! They have to tell us what kind of story they're telling and what themes are important. They can't just... give us a Silent Hill Game and trust that we know what to do with it. It's... insulting frankly. Especially as a longtime fan of the franchise who remembers when they did trust us and they did have faith in their work. I will say this in compliment to Short Message. The environment design was pretty cool. Especially the sticky-note hallways... they looked like leaves... and sometimes teeth... and like tightly packed bones in an ossuary. It didn't... say anything really. But it looked cool. And you can't go wrong with Akira Yamaoka's soundtrack. But... while I'm on the subject of design. Y'all. An animate sakura tree in an oversized hoodie is not scary. But bless you for at least having the restraint to not make her Pyramid Head.

[utilitycaster]

Can I ask why you're a dune disliker? I haven't read it myself but I'm curious as its always on my tbr

To be honest I'm sure there's many ideological reasons to dislike it, but I read it in high school and my gut reaction was in fact "wow so you're a white guy who knows Hebrew and Arabic root words, do you want a fucking cookie." Otherwise I just remember being kind of bored and also, because I am old enough to have not been super online in my mid teenage years, having a vague sense that stillsuits were definitely some kind of fetish and definitely not my kind of fetish; also I'm like, not terribly enamored of any kind of messiah narrative but I'm really not into one in which said messiah could credibly be played by Timothee Chalamet. Also I just looked it up on wikipedia to try to refresh my memory for the plot because I only recall vibes, and apparently it was intended as a rebuttal to Foundation, and while it has ALSO been like. at least 15 years since I read Foundation, I did fucking love Foundation.

Anyway, going purely off the vibes I do remember, it's best described as very annoying college sophomore who just got way into shrooms' shitty WIP except it's like, a cornerstone of modern science fiction. The movie might be good. I'm considering going to see the 1984 version of the movie which the local indie cinema is playing both because I do enjoy some David Lynch and young Kyle McLachlan. Perhaps check out the film and see if you like it and check it out because like, it is a wildly popular book and you probably should read it instead of going off my teenage opinion.

[uyuforu]

Hello Uyu welcome back 🍓🍓

I really apologize on behalf of the weird armies who wrote you messages. It's good that you spent some time away from here, but I'm glad you're back.🩷🩷

Something happened the other day I don't know if you know about it but hybe and mhj have been in an ego war for a few months using girls (newjeans). Considering Jungkook was in this disgusting industry and company from a young age, he knows what is going on much better than people on the internet. As the senior of the girls and someone who has been through terrible things himself, he posted on Instagram in support of newjeans:

"ARTISTS ARE NOT GUILTY, DON'T USE THEM"

And the armies that have been lynching these young girls for months and being fans of this disgusting company, instead of supporting their own artist jungkook, they took the side of the company. 

After jungkook's Instagram post, the armies went crazy and started saying terrible things about jungkook. Jungkook must have seen it all because the comments are open on his Instagram account for his dog Bam. 

The armies are always overprotective and supportive when it comes to other members, but when it comes to jungkook, their attitude completely changes. There have been  islamaphobic, racist, misogynistic behavior from other members, but army keep defending them.

But the slightest behavior of jungkook is a problem for the armies. They have made up a character for jungkook in their own minds and when he goes out of this character, they try to beat him. Jungkook is just a human being trying to live his life the way he wants to live without hurting anyone. He's just like us and he's not some kind of toy. It was the same in 2019 when he got a tattoo or grew his hair long, but the armies betrayed him. There are many examples of the army's strange behavior towards jungkook in previous years, but I don't want to go any further.

What I really want to talk about is jungkook's weverse update today. When the translators would translate jungkook's conversations with fans, they would always note that he "he wrote cutely". 

He always started his post by saying army. But in today's update, jungkook didn't write army and coldly wrote "I hope you have a good chuseok." (Not really his style 🫠) 

And while all this was going on, I thought of what you wrote for his solar return chart:

"ᯓ★ Chiron 9H can be a sign of JK learning a hard and painful lesson when it comes to spirituality this year. Can be about friendship, online presence, community, fandom, perhaps JK will realize something painful about his relationship to ARMY. "

How sad. He has a great heart and I hope he will have better and more supportive fans.

I hope he realizes that there are as many people who support him as there are who hate him. How ironic that the fans of his own group are upset him, while the people outside the Army are giving him supportive comments.

look I saw that story! Ngl, many armies are on HYBE's side but.. im really with JK for real. NJ are so young, they are artists, and even if they are from ADORA, isn't this label is still part of Big Hit Music? Please correct me if I'm wrong. BUT NJ is still their artists. This is really shameful how they are treated rn.

And... I did say before many times JK will eventually leave HYBE. It's also gonna happen quite soon, like around end of the year 2025, or beginning of 2026. So, to me this isn't surprising to see. Also a proof im not doing weird predictions 🥲

Overall, HYBE are really playing with fire, they should be careful. They are not doing good choices at all, and may lose BTS in the end.

Anyway, thank you for the message tho! I could also do a reading about New Jeans, and the current situation. AND also what BTS feel about this and HYBE... could be interesting lmao.

- uyu

[blueharborhq]

TASK 004 — RANDOMIZER #1

Happy September, everyone! As we celebrate (nearly) four months of being open here at Blue Harbor, we'd love to introduce something new and exciting: a randomized interaction task! This type of task is one that we'd love to incorporate more consistently moving forward in order to ensure that everyone is making new IC / OOC connections, staying inclusive towards others, and having fun! Unlike previous tasks, THIS TASK IS MANDATORY FOR ALL MEMBERS TO PARTAKE IN, excluding those who have joined or taken up additional characters following the date of September 1st. Don't worry, though, it's relatively simple! Underneath the cut, you will find every character of BH split up into smaller groups of four ( two will be of five ). These groups were mainly chosen by an online randomizer, with minimal admin interference to make sure that everyone was paired with as many different members as possible, most of whom they may not interact with frequently. That being said, considering the sheer quantity of muns and characters, there may be instances of repeats (For example: A, who has four characters, being in two separate groups with B, who also has four characters) — so don't be alarmed if that's the case for you! That just means more opportunity to chat with someone.

By October 1st, we expect all characters within a group to have at least one interaction individually with each other. This gives you all four weeks to plot and work out a connection— be it random or otherwise — with every character assigned to yours, and every mun in your group! These interactions do not need to be complex, nor do they even need to be written threads. Since this is the first time we're implementing this sort of task, we'll happily accept interactions like texts / calls / facetimes for this, so long as you keep in mind that they will not count towards activity. Ideally, these interactions will not be dropped and will surpass just one reply back and forth; we really want everyone to put the most amount of effort possible into this, rather than doing the bare minimum because it's required. PLEASE NOTE: We will be keeping track as best as we possibly can, and anyone who does not start the required interaction within the given time frame (who has also not opened up a conversation with us to discuss) may receive a friendly follow up! Rest assured, if you wind up falling into this category, you won't be in trouble in any way! We simply want to understand how we can make future installments of this task better for you and improve upon it for next time!

That being said, if you feel as though you cannot complete this task for any reason, please reach out to us. This task is supposed to be something fun and mutually beneficial for all, not a chore! Nor should it be stressful in the slightest. So if there is an element to this task that you are unhappy with, so much so that you feel like you cannot complete it, we need to know. We're willing to chat, help and compromise to make sure that everyone is having a good time! You can do so via the main's direct messages or either admin personally on Discord, as the anonymous feature will remain disabled for the foreseeable future.

Ahead of time, we thank each and every one of you for your cooperation!

GROUP 1.

Deacon Edwards ( Laine )

Elijah Falvey ( Kellen )

Leandro Contreras ( Stef )

Safiye Aksoy ( Kris )

Valletta Cambridge ( Emily )

GROUP 2.

Rafael Moldonado ( G )

Giselle Finch ( Kau )

Rachel Han ( Claire )

Dante Kidd ( Stef )

Madisyn Huang ( Soph )

GROUP 3.

Oliver Ashford ( Alyssa )

Ash Williams ( Em )

Ruby Morrisey ( Kau )

Estefania Betancourt ( Velouria )

GROUP 4.

Maximilian Mohan ( Frankie )

Halide Dursun ( Hanna )

Theodora Nowak ( Ceecee )

Sawyer Marshall ( Alyssa )

GROUP 5.

Dylan Westwick ( Claire )

Warren Pearce ( Hanna )

Grayson Heller ( Christie )

Valentine Finch ( Laine )

GROUP 6.

Juno Behar ( Stef )

Theo Bailey ( Mina )

Jack Lynch ( Aaron )

Grace Connors ( Krys )

GROUP 7.

Dilara Kaplan ( Stef )

Calahan Macarthy ( Manes )

Eliana Kendrick ( Sarah )

Leonard Katz ( G )

GROUP 8.

Daniel Choi ( Krys )

Thalia Edwards ( G )

Ruairi Macarthy ( Riley )

Antonella Ibarra ( Talia )

GROUP 9.

Cassie Westwood ( Hanna )

Dahlia Young ( Krys )

Damian Escobedo ( Ceecee )

Lisha Katz ( J )

GROUP 10.

Sofia Escobedo ( Em - 2 )

Selina Vale ( Talia )

Leon Wozniak ( J )

Angel Wallace ( Sarah )

Trey Kingston ( Christie )

GROUP 11.

Jasper Finch ( Manes )

Phoebe Yates ( Soph )

James Bennett ( Eric )

Terry Lowenstein ( Laine )

GROUP 12.

Jia Kim ( Em )

Lainey Caldwell ( Nikki )

Jeanie Ramachandran ( Aaron )

Elspeth Sun ( Manes )

GROUP 13.

Berenice Henry ( J )

Isabel Guzman ( Alyssa )

Maya Jackson ( Krys )

Avery Chopra ( Bay )

GROUP 14.

Saul Weissberg ( Velouria )

Lincoln Welch ( Nikki )

Samuel Harrison ( Talia )

Liam Reed ( Em )

GROUP 15.

Scarlett Blackwood ( Caitlyn )

Antonio Beltran ( Ceecee )

Chance Underwood ( Kau )

Nilay Bailey ( Bay )

GROUP 16.

Arizona Ortega ( Kris )

Moshe Behar ( Riley )

Izulu Zakwe ( Emily )

Quintana Weisz ( Nikki )

GROUP 17.

Rory Anderson ( Ceecee )

Matty Foster ( Molly )

Lewys Stone ( Sky )

Micah Weissberg ( Frankie )

GROUP 18.

Josie Finch ( Em - 2 )

Nate Abadiño ( Kau )

Roman Daniels ( Soph )

Charlette Lowenstein ( Riley )

[omniseurs-blog]

Last rant before bed, because I guess I'm in a ranting mood today and I need to focus on the positives and bettering my life instead.

On being trans and schizospec/having any mental illnesses

I try to hide the fact that I'm trans if I'm open about being mentally ill and hide being mentally ill if I'm open about being trans. It's a natural reaction to all the "trans people are just crazy! Trans people are delusional!" And "schizophrenics are liars/manipulators!" "Schizophrenics can't know themselves!" arguments.

Let's open up about this a little more, maybe I won't be lynched at the stake for being both at the same time. I came out as trans when I was 11 years old, I'm 23 now. Most people would never guess I was born with no dick, and for the most part, there's no reason for me to tell anyone who isn't a medical professional that I am trans. I don't date, I barely attempt to make friends and don't have much of an urge to (I just know socializing is healthy, and not socializing will kill you younger), and I'm not really doing anything that would make it essential for anyone to know what's in my pants or under my shirt.

Unfortunately, around 14-15 years old my father's genetics caught up with me and I had my first psychotic break all the way up until starting to recover at 18, and any semblance of connection to the trans community was lost along with my sanity. The trans communities I talked in pushed me away as much as I pushed them away because of my schizophrenia. Trying to talk in schizophrenia support groups, of course, I was pushed away for being trans. In order to talk anywhere about anything I needed support with, I had to, essentially, code switch. In trans groups, I may as well be the most mentally stable person ever who just needs a little help with this one aspect of transition, acceptance, or passing, and then I'm off to the schizophrenia support group, where I might as well be the straightest manliest man ever who just needs a little help with this one aspect of delusional thinking and identifying hallucinations, and then I'm off to the rest of society to be the most mentally healthy straightest manly man to exist (and then crash at home in a mess of unmasking and questioning my existence and if life will ever get easier).

Essentially, I abandoned both communities, exclusively getting help in therapy, through medications, self help books and self therapy, and focusing on things that I actually cared about, but that lack of acceptance is still there in both communities, in the broader public, and online.

I'm only one or another to each person I know, or else it's back to desperately explaining that, no, I'm not experiencing "delusions of gender dysphoria", yes, I'm actually trans, yes, I know I am, I've been out as trans for longer than my symptoms appeared AND recovered from them (12 years now), yes, I'm medicated, no, the hormones didn't cause the psychosis or else I'd be in psychosis right now and would've fallen out of it during the ~3 year period where I want taking hormones because the dumbass doctor reached the same conclusion, and yes, I'm still happier as a man even if being a woman meant psychosis never would have happened (it would've happened either way)

[cazort]

Leftist, antiracist activists like to criticize the police, but something even scarier than police brutality and corruption has been happening in the community near me.

There is a significant portion of the population in suburban Delaware that harbors both deeply racist views, and anti-police sentiment. These people tend to have far-right views and a deeply punitive mindset; Delaware is a "blue state" and has been relatively progressive about its police policies, moving away from overly punitive policing in recent years.

And some people are irate about it. There are social media posts complaining about out of control crime.

This is woefully out-of-touch with what is actually going on. Delaware had a record low rate of violent crime in 2023, following a brief, temporary surge during the pandemic. Delaware has reduced their prison population too. Statewide total crime has also decreased from 2018 through 2022 as reported by the state, with the largest decrease in drug offenses and a relatively smaller decrease in property crime.

People though have started posting stuff on social media with blurry pictures of people from doorbell cameras, dash cams, and other low-quality cameras. Most of the people in the photos are children or young teenagers. Some of them are employees at work just ringing people's doorbells for presumably valid reasons, such as utility workers, county tax assessers, or delivery people. Occasionally people post photos catching people in the act of a crime, like breaking into a car or damaging property.

A lot of the photos are so blurry it would be hard to definitively ID someone from them, and thus easy to mistake someone's identity. And they're sharing these things on social media and calling for a sort of vigilante justice. And predictably, most of the people being targeted are dark-skinned, which is significant because Delaware is overwhelmingly (65%+) non-hispanic white. It's obvious that these posts are tainted by racism.

When a crime is involved, a lot of people suggest to go to the police, but any time the police are brought up, people start trash talking the police. "The police don't do anything". "Cops are useless." and stuff like that. People are really angry and irate and viciously attack anyone who advocates going to the police.

There is this idea that the police do nothing and the only way to deal with crime is to "take things into your own hands". I don't even know what these people want, because they won't come out and say it, but it's really scary. People are talking about circulating people's pictures, calling them "criminals" and that they need to be "punished". Many of these people, from their other posts, are open about owning guns.

When people talk about defunding the police or abolishing the police, I think it's important to ask the question of what will take their place. As corrupt an institution as the police in the US are, I think it's important to remind ourselves that there can be things worse than the police, and that sometimes, in a power vacuum, whatever institution self-organizes may be worse than the one that existed before.

One of my ancestors was killed by lynching in the south, because he was seen as sympathizing with the Union in the civil war. I also have directly experienced harassment in public for being gender-non-conforming, and also a slew of antisemitic hate comments online targeting me because of my Jewish name, and also sometimes because of my political stances.

I know where this leads and it's not good. People like me (and probably you, reading this) are vulnerable. I belong to multiple groups that would be targeted if vigilante violence became a thing.

I'm white, a US citizen, and relatively well-off. I can't even imagine how much more vulnerable black and other dark-skinned people, immigrants, and poor people would be than myself. But I know they are going to be even more vulnerable.

Take from this what you will. I can tell you what my take is:

We as a society have a deep need to root out both racism and the punitive mindset, and achieving these goals is much more than just moving away from formal policing.

Removing the institution of the police while retaining the racism and the punitive mindset risks devolving into a hellscape of vigilante justice shaped by racism and other biases

In the interim, a functional, even if flawed, police system, with some semblance of respecting due process, is a better status quo than a completely broken or absent police in which vigilante justice (with no due process) takes hold

This is why I am hesitant of rhetoric that universally demonizes the police or calls for immediate or full police abolition. A lot of people see police abolition as a leftist take, but as my recent experience shows, this movement may find an unlikely and unhealthy ally in far-right sentiments, and there is a huge danger in allowing these sentiments to take hold.

When elements of abolition (such as decarceration and decriminalization) take hold, it often strengthens far-right anti-police sentiment, because people start seeing the police as allied to the left, which is ironic because the left often still sees the police as allied to the right.

I haven't seen anyone in police abolition circles talking at all about these occurrences, let alone propose any solutions.

If we want to achieve police abolition, we need a path forward that keeps these unsavory elements under control. And I'm struggling to see that path, which is one thing that makes me think we may need to put the brakes on some of the boldest pushes of the abolition movement.

[aprillikesthings]

Starting this fall I'm doing a four-year long class called Education for Ministry, which despite the name is not about becoming a minister. It *is* some of the same material covered in first-year seminary, but it's aimed at "laypeople" (aka not clergy) and isn't graded or anything. It's also run by an Episcopal seminary but it's not restricted to us--my group has a Methodist in it, and I think one other person who is "mainline" but not Episcopal.

Anyway. It involves a ton of reading from multiple books per week, and then getting together in a group (mine is on zoom, most are in person) once a week to talk about the reading and respond to conversation prompts.

And I need to decide (soon) if I want to use paper books vs ebooks. And whether I want to take notes on the texts via sticky notes or a notebook or in the books; or typing them up. (The notes won't be the kind used for studying for exams; we're encouraged to note when the text makes us Amazed, Bothered, Confused, or Delighted.)

And here's my eternal conundrum:

I know damn well I am more likely to do all the readings if I do them via ebook. I know I'm more likely to keep notes via typing (including highlighting/notes in the ebooks!). Mostly because that means I can do them at work, between phone calls.

But I really really love the aesthetic of paper books, dammit!

Also....wait now that I'm thinking about this. I'm doing it on zoom. It'll be a huge pain in the ass to try to look at the ebooks (which would require me to have amazon's in-browser reader open, I don't have a kindle and it's too small on my phone) while in discussions.

Also if I try one way and it isn't working I can just switch to a different way.

See this is why I write out things like this. I always somehow end up making the decision as I write/type.

Anyway I've managed to keep a paper planner/journal for most of the last three and a half years (no, really) in part by making the aesthetics cater to my very specific tastes (erasable gel pens with small nibs in a rainbow of colors, erasable highlighters with same, fuck-tons of washi tape and stickers, fancy notebook paper). So I might be okay re: EfM.

The first year has the most reading because we do the entire old testament. Second year is new testament, third year is church history, fourth year is theology and learning about other faiths. All four years are in the same group. I can (if I want) drop out and join back up next year, or drop my group and join another one at any point, because the material is standardized. So that's cool. The program is fifty years old now, which is amazing; but also it means they've had a lot of time to figure out how best to do this sort of thing.

ANYWAY there's a couple times per year everyone (no matter which year they're in) reads the same book, and this year one of them is James Cone's The Cross and the Lynching Tree, and Beyond A Binary God: A Theology for Trans Allies by Tara Soughers.

My other books this year (other than a study bible--and I already own a doorstopper of an NRSV Oxford Study Bible, with all the maps and translation notes and footnotes on cultural stuff, though I'll have access to one online as well) are A Short Introduction to the Hebrew Bible (third edition) and The Hebrew Bible: Feminist and Intersectional Perspectives.

I'm nerdy enough that all those book titles are making me just :D :D :D

ANYWAY if you really want to nerd out on this shit for some reason, most of last year's manual/guide is here, in pdf form

(I was side-eyeing the trans theology book a tad because it's written by a cis woman with a trans kid, but in reviews people point out it's entirely aimed at allies, not transgender people. Because while there are absolutely transgender people in our churches!, they've often already figured this shit out, and it's The Rest of Us who need to get with the program, so to speak. I just hope I'm not The Token Gay (who knows a ton of trans people) but knowing the Episcopal church...probably not gonna be the only queer lol.)