#really am proud of this and needed to share it
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Wip Wednesday!
Thank you @buick118 for the tag š tagging @cranberrymoons @clytemnestraaa and anyone else whoās writing right now!
This is from a buddie college au Iāve been toying with after a conversation with cly got me in my feels about mature student single father Eddie bonding with post-peru Buck over a college elective theyāre both bad at in different ways. Under a cut cause itās a long snippet :)
Eddie gets the text a little after eight on Friday while heās curled up on the sofa with Christopher half asleep by his side. Party at mine, u in? Followed by an address in an area heās unfamiliar with.
Itās from Buck, because of course it is.
I didnāt know you lived in a frat house.
The tvās turned low, so as not to disturb Abuela and her friendsā weekly card game, though they should be finishing up soon. Pilar likes to be in bed by nine, though Ana Maria keeps trying to convince Abuela to let her leave first, then continue the game when sheās gone.
Or so heās heard.
Itās just a normal house lol
Normal house party
Thereās even going to be girlsā¦
Eddie laughs, though it turns to guilt when he realises the noise disturbed Chris.
āWhatās so funny, daddy?ā
Heās getting so big. So wide-eyed and happy, so trusting.
āNothing, kiddo.ā He slowly takes Chris by the arms and, when he receives no protest, pulls his son all the way into his lap. āDid I wake you? Iām sorry.ā
āNo, I wasnāt sleepy,ā Chris lies. Heās getting really good at his developmentally appropriate lying. Which is a weird thing to be proud of, Eddie knows. But as soon as it became apparent Chris wasnāt going to make certain milestones, or would be late to them, or would need surgery to even have a chance to see themā¦
So Eddie just lets himself hold twice as much pride when Chris lies, or when he reads his book aloud, or can tell the time on Abuelaās big red analog kitchen clock.
āWell, you might not be sleepy, but-ā Eddie yawns as long and wide as he can until Chris is giggling beside him- āI definitely am. Do you think maybe you could try and go to bed, so I can too?ā
Chris looks at him with furrowed concentration, then down at the sofa theyāre sharing which, when he goes to sleep in Abuelaās spare room, will become Eddieās bed. And concedes, a little.
āOkay, but Iām not even a little teeny bit tired so I think I can get in bed but stay awake.ā
They brush their teeth together, and change into pyjamas, and by the time Chris is settled and Eddieās returned to the sofa he has four more texts from Buck.
And booze
Probably some casual games like beer pong
But yeah itās kicking off around 10 I think
Iām working until 11 so if you wait til then I could even pick you up?
If you live nearby
Wow.
#my wip#buddie#911#idk this fandom seems v anti-college au for various reasons but im having a lot of fun with this one so far#i think it helps that itās essentially a s2 au in that i havenāt really aged them down so much as fuzzed the circumstances#college au
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i just wanna say thank you for filling the eminath tag. you're a blessing ššš
do you have any eminath or ml fic recs?
!!!!!!! thank you, that means so much š©µ glad you and others have enjoyed!! itās been really nice to see more traction in the tag.
always open to hearing more from people about eminath, or the women separately, too. š«¶š love talking about them š„°
as for fic recs, letās start with the Emilie onesā¦
thirteen by okayanna (anna-scribbles)
truly the quintessential thesis on the relationship between Emilie and Adrien and the ramifications of his childhood, as well as a truly thought provoking fleshing out of the ghost of a presence we know.
would that I could, Iād bookbind this fic, annotate it, and have it on my shelf. literally when am I not talking about thirteen.
Orbital Departure, Lose it in the Morning, Watership Down, all by bittersweetResilience
Three fics that play with unique concepts such as Adrien having twin telepathy and a soul bond with FƩlix, a trait shared once with AmƩlie and Emilie, and the family dynamics between these pairs of twins.
Could never say enough about the attention and detail Sunny brought to these characters at the time. I think about Orbital Departure all the time.
(just check out Sunnyās Emilie tag, is what Iām saying.)
What Real Human Beings Do by nemali
AmĆ©lie is the main character here, but boy š do š we š see š the beautiful scars Emilie has left on her sister. and how better to understand a character than their twin?
and for the eminath sectionā¦
in the mouth of the sun by telmes (archekoeln)
I remember reading this and being in awe. it was like reaching into the past (2020!) and finding someone who saw the same beauty in the ship and feeling so understood. love love LOVE their writing style (just READ that summary!! UGH!!!), and I need to do a dive into their other nathalie-centric fics.
On the same note, I just found their fic āyou push me downā in my bookmarks too and literally teared up remembering it.
she doesn't need me, not like I need her by azalera
i love a good, sentimental story. it may seem simple, but thereās something about it that I just think about often.
Iāve been meaning to read their fic, āhello, emilieā as well!
bread and oranges by peachcitt
need to do a proper reread of this because I feel like I read it in a trance. š«¶ getting emotional all over again. AUGH
As for meāI have a Nathalie character analysis fic that Iām proud of, and quite like the eminath poetry I did. Maybe youāll like āfor the hope of it allā, too š„°
#eminath#miraculous ladybug#ml fics#Asukies answered#Emilie agreste#nathalie sancoeur#amelie graham de vanily#ml#fics
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Proud of / Writing Share Tag!
thanks for the tag, @willtheweaver !
Rules are to share some writing youāre proud of!
Here ya go!
āāā
Felix blanched. He expected a scolding or a peeved dismissal, not sympathy. āItās, um, itās nothing, sir. Iām alright.ā It took everything in him to keep his loose stance, hands clasped behind his back, but he fidgeted despite his best efforts.
āYou are pale, is all.ā
āAm Iā¦? I meanāit really is nothing, sir.ā
āHm. Wonāt you stand with me for a moment longer?ā
Felix blinked. āS-sorry?ā The stuttering again. Dammit, he should have kept moving in the first place. āKaidenĀ would have said that. She wouldnāt have messed up. She wouldnāt haveāno.ā He stopped himself before he thought of something heād regret. Envy wasnāt the answer, it never was. Harboring it would only make things worse. The knight took a steadying breath and replied, āI need to get to the infirmary, sir. Kaidenāā
āShe can wait,ā he said, voice tinged with annoyance. āStand with me.ā No longer a question. A command.
The knight followed it.
āāā
sending out no pressure tags to the Tag Game List:
@sableglass @dioles-writes @ash-thedrawer @allaboutmagic @paeliae-occasionally
@astor-and-the-endless-ink @vsnotresponding @nightlylaments
@thebookishkiwi @verdant-mainframe @threedaysgross @fifis-corner @bamber344
And for the general writing list:
@bunnymermaidwrites @abiteofhoney @aalinaaaaaa @vesanal @cepheusgalaxy
@fifis-corner @urnumber1star @thebookishkiwi @sunflowerrosy @glbettwrites
@threedaysgross @mundanemoongirl @satohqbanana @bamber344 @imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese
@ash-thedrawer @cc-writes-stuff @anothersummerofsleep @sharkblizzardblogs
@verdant-mainframe @kittrrrr
Lemme know if youād like on/off either list!
and as always, open tag!
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Mutual left this tag on one of my Fuuta analyses and yeah...
Part two of "Fuutaās central theme is invasion of privacy and he has extreme anxiety over being watched, so it's interesting that we get to pick him apart and see all his worst, most private thoughts" :(
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#i didnt want to be annoying with a tag but thank you trinipopkt for the original tag :3#ive never posted something like this so let me know if i need to tag anything#my writing brain may be struggling rn but you can bet im still over here drawing fuuta š
š#part one was the lil moodboard on main#this also had slight oc connections (my brain was going brrr having a scientist oc) but once again its general to the audience overall#plus i was really proud of the composition/posing/colors i switched to -- i was excited to share!!#it took me like 80 years to pick a composition/pose that worked asdfsadsg#and i had to redo all my coloring and shading because i wanted a more neutral sterile science look than what i originally had#anyway it wasnt my usual type of drawing so it was a lot of fun to see it come together!#i did the first version and my partner said it was mean (and against procedure) to keep him awake#but then the second version felt equally mean :(((( so in conclusion rip fuuta#he is my little bug and i am going to figure out what makes him tick
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Rekrap2 art I made nearly a year ago which I really wanted to render but never really got around to
I still kinda wanna because I really like how it came out with the dynamic line of motion and the pose, but for now I thought I'd share it since it's been so long
(It was meant to be like him speedrunning)
#rekrap2#rekrap2 fanart#i have so much rek fanart i want to make or finalise and i never get around to it#i am slacking#theres not many people who regularly make rek fanart (that i know of) so the fact i am slacking is something that i keep remembering#i need to be the change i wish to see in the world (more rekrap fanart)#anyway i am doodling him rn which is why i refound this and thought id share it#might post again later tonight we'll see#ramble post#randy rambles#my art#randy's art#mcyt#mcyt fanart#honestly the pose came out really good im proud of it. i find legs hard to pose so to have them the strongest parts of this is wild
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current editing moodboard, please send help
#perfectionism is really kicking my butt rn#that and the fact i had like a week away from writing properly bc chronic pain and now i canāt get back into the headspace#so yeah#perfectionism and brain fog#the inimitable duo#and i know i just need to be patient because itāll get in the end there like it always does#but rn iāve spent two nights in a row trying to polish up the last bits of this chapter#and i still just feel so detached from it all i want to pitch my laptop out the window#but i canāt afford a new laptop each time i want to defenestrate it#so this little rant will have to do instead#UGH#itās so annoying because i am actually so so proud of this chapter and have loved writing it and canāt wait to share it#itās just this last little bit that i seem to be hitting a brick wall with#anyway sorry#four walls readers don't worry i go through this just about every chapter lol#i'm just feeling it particularly this time because it's a particularly big chapter (both in terms of length and content)#and sometimes venting in the tags and creating an alex moodboard is very therapeutic#writing stuff#alex turner#writer's block#lulu posts
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Can't believe this creature is over 18. Not only that but aside from some arthritis and being incredibly round (because my dad won't stop spoiling her with extra feedings) she's in almost perfect health??
Have some Ashallah pics, enjoy this screaming creature
#we share a bday actually#down to the hour on the actual day#however i am 5 years older than this little freak#cats#cats of tumblr#siamese#i have STORIES about her#she was a fucking DEVIL when she was younger bc she was really badly socializes#socialized*#we rescued her from a... bad house to put it lightly after her father tried to kill her#the other kittens were taken in by others as well#but the father didnt try to kill any of em for whatever reason so they were able to stay for the proper time#we got her at 4 weeks. we didnt know how to socialize a kitten.#she was a demon#as she and i both got older i started to properly socialize her#now she cuddles and is a lap cat when before she attached herself to my face w her claws#im proud of her in her old age#just wish she would stop shitting under my futon when im away from home overnight.#(thats not a health thing or even an anxiety thing. she just is a dick who needs me to know#that she's NOT happy that i LEFT her ALONE ALL NIGHT as if my dad doesn't fuckin live here too)#menace of a cat id cry if anything bad happened to her so hard
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i found a super old drawing tablet which, naturally, ended with me drawing women all day
#i'm not super proud with the 2003 april drawing but that's the first thing i drew so i was getting used to the whole thing#i LOVE this drawing tablet i am definetly going to use it for mspaint drawings#i'm surprised it works because i think the most recent thing it said it could work with is a windows 7 and like#i don't have that!#it's cool i have many fun doodles i also drew#dunno if i'll share#depends on how many doodles i make later#the first drawing was inspired by a transfem rise leo fic i read#it isn't perfectly written but HEY the coming out scene made me feel things!!!#ESPECIALLY the pronoun switch with āso she ran awayā MAN!!!!!#this isn't a recreation of a scene (there isn't really any context to it?) i just wanted to draw my favourite girls together#speaking of i need to draw the aprils more#i LOVE mutant mayhem april i am not going to apologise for the woman i become when tales of the tmnt releases#tmnt leo#transfem leo#because. yes#tmnt april#april o'neil#rottmnt leo#rottmnt april o'neil#2003 april o'neil#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt 2003#mspaint#i hope the quality isn't too destroyed for these because i will cry
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my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. itās like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course weāre not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no oneās business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what heās thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesnāt even have to move
#i miss him so much i need him back i need him to live next to me again. i need to mooch off his wifi from my porch and invite him over#i miss him so much.#heās only 2 minutes younger but he feels years younger. and yet i think weāre two halves of one soul#iāve always babied him not even in a mean or diminishing way but i felt this need to protect him#because he tends to be so naive and so shy#but. i am so proud of him. i need to show him off to everyone and i need everyone to understand how funny and charming he is#it feels like i grew up and left him where he will remain 11 forever. i miss him more than moving back home can fix#i miss him in ways that have nothing to do with the distance between our locations#but. it would certainly help to be able to see him every day#i keep smelling the carpet in his room and itās so vivid. i remember the countless hours we spent developing huge wood block cities#and we would drive hot wheels over the wooden raceways we had made. we were actually quite coordinated and autistic about it#we were always building things together#just recently me and him talked on the phone about an old mlp au we came up with. all original characters and shit#it was super extensive and very clever#i STILL think it would make a really cool book series or something#i remember watching him play army men RTS gamecube on the wii. i STILL listen to the soundtrack to that game likeā¦. daily#i remember walking into my room once where he was watching a show. and he was crying#and he NEVER cries over tv#but he was crying because his favorite character had resigned from the organization that the series was based around#and he was so distraught that she was leaving.#i remember when all 3 of us slept in one room. i remember when me and him were in bunk beds across the room#and we would sneak out of bed right as the parents left and stayed up playing by the light of the nightlight#the way we raced back into bed when the parents were approaching š#my mom always says sheās sad that i seem to remember so little of my life. like every story of my youth is news to me lmao#but i feel like i remember the most important parts? i think so#i remember how mom woke me up in the night to ask me to roll over because my bro could see my face from where he was sleeping#and he was scared because there was a weird shadow cast on my face that made it look like a skull which was making it hard for him to sleep#it was. so funny. i begrudgingly rolled over#i donāt know. itās just that there isnāt a single instance i bring up that my brother does not also remember.#no matter how tiny or specific. we shared everything growing up
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A few (primarily Southern) superstitions I found while doing an Antrho project. Most of these are from my family's history, but a lot of them are also just very common Southern superstitions that I thought were cool.
The first male to enter the house after the New Year has to give the family a dollar, which has to be taped above the front door indicating that money will flow throughout the house for the new year. According to my mother, this comes from a side of the family that she believes was Polish. She's not sure if that's true or not, but my grandmother on that side did this every New Year's until she died.
Eating black-eyed peas, collard greens, and pork on New Years brings good luck. This one's very common and my family does this every year (my parents cut out the collard greens, but my grandmother keeps them in. She also uses hog jowl instead of regular pork). The peas are for luck, the greens are for money, and the pork is for prosperity.
Putting a mirror on your porch can prevent the devil from entering your home. Basically this comes from the idea that the devil can only enter a house at night and must return to hell at sunrise and by placing a mirror on your porch, his vanity will cause him to spend the entire night looking at his reflection until the sun comes to banish him.
If you plant a cedar tree and it grows to be six feet tall, you'd lose someone close to you. This one comes courtesy of my grandfather and was honestly one I'd never heard of before.
To prevent spirits from entering your house, paint the entryway/porch of your house with haint blue to confuse them since spirits can't cross water. You see this a lot here and mainly it's the porch roof that's painted haint blue, but I've seen doors and shutters also painted this way.
If you have cracks in your house, a boo hag (a trapped spirit that kind of acts like a vampire) can use them to enter your home. Boo hags mainly use a person's breath as sustenance instead of blood, and it's believed that if the person being fed on by a boo hag struggles, the hag will just take their skin. The hag also has to return to their own skin (as when they feed at night they have none) by morning or else they will be trapped forever without skin.
Having a bottle tree can ward off evil spirits. This is the same thing as painting your porch haint blue, except you hang blue bottles on a tree instead. A lot of people have these regardless if they believe the superstition and they're honestly really beautiful.
#this place might be a waking nightmare sometimes but god does it have some interesting folklore#like when I'm able to ignore all the horrible things that happen here it makes me genuinely happy live here#I've got a whole book based on ghost stories from here that I need to share sometime as well#the only one of these that didn't come from my family was the one about the bottle trees#but those are so common here that I included it anyways#I also just really love bottle trees#I'm trying to see the positivity more in my culture and heritage and I'm slowly beginning to learn to be more proud of who I am#it's a lot of personal negativity to try to push past but I'm getting there#american south#deep south#appalachia#meso's musings
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The urge to show my outfit to someone but thereās no mirrors.
So I drew my outfit and I havenāt taken a art class in years so be nice š but Iām very proud of my outfit because itās fruit day for one of my classes and I dressed up in all my strawberry stuff.
The earrings and skirt are strawberries and my eye patch is like a reddish color. Black turtle neck and a white bow.
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@weird-ecologies tagged me to name my Top 4 movies from the year I was born, which means I get to expose myself as someone who does not actually watch that many movies AND as a devotee of one particular very questionable movie (Doctor Who TV Movie my beloved, and also a staple of my high school years, for better or for worse)
Including the Baz Luhrmann Romeo + Juliet is sort of a questionable call here because I've only ever seen part of it, but I truly did not have another strong contender for my fourth film and also I respect the concept of weird maximalist Shakespeare on a deep personal level, so I feel like it's allowed to stay.
Tagging @marypsue @howsyourweirdbrotherdoing @thesixthstar @fishdetective @wild-west-wind and @chaumas-deactivated20230115 to join in if you want, though like with all tag memes it is of course totally optional
#to really admit to my cultural ineptitude here. other hit 1996 movies include:#space jam. fargo. independence day. star trek: first contact. etc#but i am perpetually the guy who has never seen [insert movie here]#forever proud of sharing a birth year with the widely panned dr who movie though so i think that says everything you need to know about me#some people live under a rock and instead watch fun but objectively not good science fiction to cope
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...
#why am I such a disappointment#itās like I do nothing right#I just told my dad that I applied for a part time tutoring position#I was proud of myself#been struggling to find a job#yet what does he do#goes off on me#about not getting a job this summer#says I really disappointed him#Iām trying to find a teaching job#this is my last summer before Iām full force in the work force#I just wanted to enjoy that freedom#donāt have much on my resume#but only cause my parents said a job could wait#as long as Iām in school#didnāt mention that rule#didnāt apply for graduate school#iām trying#iām really trying#but itās hard to get motivated#i feel like Iām never enough#and canāt share the things Iām proud of#cause then he just goes off on me#and it makes me feel so worthless#so stupid#such a disappointment#nobody cares though#26 unemployed and uninsured#just needed to rant
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Being critical of art is all fun and games until you are the art that is being critiqued :(
#God I was feeling so good today but duuuude Iām so scared abt the opera from purely a technical standpoint#like Iām not even stressed about fucking anything up anymore it just hit me that like. I invited people to see this and it might be bad :(#due to variables outside of my control!!!! I hate not being able to fix things#I would be less stressed if my mother wasnāt seeing it but tragically Iām proud of what /i/ am achieving so I really want her to be there!!#but I know itās going to be SUCH a fucking let down after the other shows sheās seen at my school like#the productions she saw were SO GOOD on a technical standpoint and both of the productions this year were so bad :((((#like even conveptually I donāt even know if Iām fully convinced and Iām in the show!!!#And idk. Itās hard when you donāt have an extended family (or like much of a family at all)#so the only people coming to your show are like. Broadway technicians#the closest thing I have to an uncle is a lighting designer and a stage manager my mother knows#very fun sometimes. Other times I want to throw myself onto a pyre#Why do the stakes have to be so high why canāt they just be happy to support me :)) I shall never be the center of her world. Ah well#But also we would not be as close as we are without our shared love of theater production so. Catch-22#And at the end of the day Iām more sad that I canāt be proud of the show#itās not anyoneās fault it just is and I need to be okay with it#I worked really hard and it matters that Iām doing this#GOD SORRY!!!#vent#portal of rambling
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ok two things. #1 i am IMPOSSIBLY exhausted. just took a nap for a couple hours and have been awake for a bit but i feel like ivr been whacked like a punching bag like good god. and #2 is gonna have to make me delete this post later bc i feel weird and bad and paranoid abt saying it lol but. itās just fucking weird and bad kinda bc im literally 2 years older than / removed from the students who work closest with us rn (who i spent most of today tabling w) and itās so awkward bc weāre at the same-ish life stages and ik we totally wouldāve been friends if weād gone thru the same programs together as students but they ignore me / donāt and canāt talk to me like weāre friends bc im a staff member and my attempts to talk to them are lame and weird so idk. itās just a lot and stressful and sobering
#purrs#aldo one of the interns who will be working w us this year just found a living situation that is likeā¦ EXACTLY the kind of thing i think i#would want and she was telling me all abt decorating her apartment and getting / buying stuff for her cat and having all this freedom andā¦#RRAUGHHHH im so proud of her and happy for her bc her situation was rly hard before this and she told me all abt it and itās exactly what#she needed and deserves but itās just so WEIRD bc i need the exact same thing and still live w my parents and share a room and canāt drive a#and am literally likeā¦ āin competitonā w students im working w for resources and also im about to be a grad student and idk how to act#arojnd undergrads or if i get to / should sympathize with them or like talk abt anything bc im also a staff member and a semi-supervisor of#theirs and i know things they donāt and have power over them and itās like. aughhhh itās just bad. i feel really horrible saying this but i#just need time to pass. i need to not be going thru the same life milestones undergrads are going thru. i need to be 3-4 yrs in the future w#where no one ever knew me as a student (a couple of them did just as a senior when they were freshmen etc!). so that itās not weird anymore#and there are no blurry lines that make us confused abt how to interact w each other or make me feel so fucking bad abt myself lol#<- which i literally shouldnāt like i have no reason to and itās ridiculous and childish to. but idk. imjust depressed and exhausted i think#delete later#also for the second semester ina row im about to be an instructor of a class with someone i literallyā¦ took a class with as a student in the#class ššššš like she and i were classmates in spring 2021 and my co-instructors were O UR instructors and nowi am also an instructor. and#its just so fucking bizarre and uncomfortable aughhhhh#i just feel very lonely abt all of it. and im isolating myself again which isnāt helping esp bc the guilt has been gnawing at me hard lately#not to say this but itās even weird on here. like a lot of you guys are in college rn andā¦ i work for one. and it doesnāt matter but also it#just feels weird and i feel weird abt complaining abt the semester or being like yeah the semester is so hard haha fellow kids. which im not#bc it legitimately is hard for staff too itās justā¦ a lot. idk. idk how to explain it
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i am once again asking people not to share my writing if u aren't going to credit me!
this is gonna be a bit of a rant i think. sorry but also i'm just fed up at this point lol
i've already. mentioned this or talked about it a few times on my blog but like. here's the ~official post~ i guess because over the past year i have lost count of the amount of times i have come across a post--usually on twitter or tiktok--that is quite literally just a direct quote from one of my stories copied and pasted without a single reference to where it came from or who wrote it.
so like, quick reminder:
this is not a quote.
"adding quotation marks to it does not make a quote."
"a quote is only a quote if you QUOTE THE PERSON WHO IT CAME FROM." - rae, @rollercoasterwords tumblr blog
does that make sense???? PLEASE tell me that makes sense. to make it even clearer:
if you are going to quote my writing in a tweet, please include AT LEAST my ao3 username (rollercoasterwords) and also, ideally, the fic title that you are quoting from. if you want to throw a link to whatever ur quoting from, great! but like. at the very least, all i am asking is that you add "quote" - @rollercoasterwords on ao3
if you are going to quote my writing in a tiktok, please include AT LEAST my ao3 username either clearly in the video itself or clearly at the very beginning of the caption, where anyone looking at the video will be able to see it immediately. please don't just put credit in a tag at the very end of a long caption where it isn't clear which tag is the fic title the quote is coming from; please don't just put it in a comment that not everyone will open and find; please don't just put it in a response to someone else's comment asking you what fic the quote is from. and please don't put no credit at all--i've seen tiktoks of my own writing without even quotation marks to let people know that it's a quote! like...at that point you're just plagiarizing my writing for...what? tiktok views? like. ok.
other writers might feel differently about how you credit them when quoting them, but for me--this is what i'm asking. just. at the very least, clearly include my ao3 username, so that people know who wrote the thing that you're sharing.
and like. i think there's this idea that you're doing me a favor by sharing my writing, in any capacity, on the internet. and at the risk of sounding harsh, i want to be very clear: that isn't true. if you are sharing my writing without any indication that it is even mine, then you are not doing me a favor. you are taking something that i worked very hard on and using it to get a few likes for yourself. i know that it's fanfiction, and i know that once i post something on the internet it is, to a certain extent, outside of my control. but like...this isn't something i'm profiting off of. it's not something i'm trying to get the most views possible on. the only reason i'm sharing it on ao3 is so that people who appreciate it can find it, and so that i can connect with those people who take the time out of their day to leave a comment or send a message saying "hey, i loved this, thanks for sharing it!" i would rather have only 5 people see my writing and like it and genuinely connect with me over it than have 5000 people see my writing and like it and never have a single one of them know who actually wrote it.
anyway. i'm not trying to sound ungrateful, y'know? i do truly, sincerely appreciate that there are people out there who have been moved enough by my writing to want to share it with others. but this isn't a numbers thing for me, ok? the amount of people looking at a thing i wrote is not what makes writing worth it to me, and i would truly, genuinely, just rather not have a single person share my writing on twitter or tiktok than have like. fifty people share it without crediting me.
#saw another post today w my writing just. fully uncredited and i'm just.#idk i don't want to sound ungrateful to the people who are like. genuinely trying to appreciate my writing by sharing it with others#but if you aren't crediting me for my own writing then it doesn't feel like appreciation it feels like i'm being used so!#especially when it's like. quotes or lines that i'm really proud of. it just sucks to see other people posting them#and not even giving me the briefest shoutout for having written it#and like. i think i haven't said anything before now bc it's like#oh well it doesn't matter that much bc i am always actively trying to check the mindset that like#it matters whether ur fic ~goes viral~#so i've been like ugh whatever who cares if someone's tiktok of my writing got 5k likes without knowing where it came from#but honestly. it just feels shitty!! like it feels like something is being taken from me sorry#i don't need thousands of people to see my writing it's fine!! if u don't want to shout out me or my fic you don't have to!!#but please don't TAKE my writing and use it to get views for urself#that's not what i wrote it for. i don't want it to be like...Content in a void#ranting and raving
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