#really I just hated that they were being useful and I was not
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#𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃!𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎
thank you all so much for 400 followers. i really didn't think that i would reach so many people, so i made a special for you. also i can't reply to my comments on my posts or any but i appreciate them. enjoy!
husband!gojo who can't stand being away from you for so long. he's on his day off and he makes sure to spend every single second close to you just so he can admire you and whisper praises in your ear.
husband!gojo who takes you out on dessert dates. whether it be ice-cream, cake, milkshakes, whatever mood the both of you seems to be in. he stares at you with loving eyes while you enjoy the dessert you got and wipes any smudge on your lips or cheek.
husband!gojo who doesn't let you pay for anything. he was not gonna let you send the money that you worked so hard for to buy something that you can get with his money. he shares his personal info with you but does not wanna hear about yours. and he always insists you use his card otherwise, you'll be arguing infront of the cashier for more than ten minutes until you finally give in.
husband!gojo who caresses the ring on your finger everytime you hold hands with him. he does it unconsciously too as you talk about your interests.
husband!gojo who sometimes just can't believe that he's married to the most beautiful woman in the world. he can't help but kiss you out the blue when you're together because you're lips were just so tempting.
husband!gojo who's known to be someone who never shuts the fuck up and interrupts people when they're talking but not when it comes to you. he could just listen to you talk for hours on end because he just lives your voice and is genuinely interested with what you're saying. he also hates it when someone else interrupts you and so speaks up for you.
husband!gojo who loves posting pictures of you on the daily. be it pictures he took of you or selfies you sent with captions like "isn't my wife just so beautiful", and it could be a picture of you drooling in your sleep. but when he reads the comments and finds some creepy guys saying inappropriate things, he's gonna let them know just who they're dealing with.
husband!gojo who comes up with the dumbest nicknames to give because he thought they were cute when he's literally calling you "his cute little drooler" and "his sweet scumdilly yumyum cupcake" but he often times calls you "baby" or "princess" if he's not in a very silly mood.
husband!gojo who showers you with gifts when he returns from long work trips because he believes that you deserve the best. but when you tell him, that the greatest gift he has ever given you was coming back to you without fail, he has tears in his eyes as his heart swells and pulls you into a big hug and says, " i'll always come back to you love... always"
#comments and reblogs are appreciated
#400 followers special#400 followers#thank you!#jjk fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#gojo headcanons#gojo imagines#gojo scenarios#fluff#gojo fluff#reader#fem!reader#husband!gojo
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Part 4 of Drift/Deadlock and Hot Rods adventure in the mecha au!
Here comes the Sun do do do do- here comes the Sun at Mach five.
———————————————————————
Deadlock needed to kill something. Badly.
He’d kept it together through Ratchets confession. And he kept a relaxed mischievous banter going from the Hangar all the way to Ratchets makeshift clinic. When they finally arrived in Dead En-
The refugee camp. It was called a refugee camp and nothing else.
Deadlock almost transformed in the fragging middle of a refugee camp.
The memory snuck up on him okay?
Ever since he cracked open that one, tiny, memory from before he was Deadlock, pieces of Drift kept floating to the surface.
He gave Ratchet a quick goodbye, saying he needed something to eat. And sped off before the medic could question him.
He needed violence and isolation. Needed to reset his whole damn processor and banging his helm against a hard-organic-stick-thing? Whatever the fuck. Frag? Ugh. It wasn’t working.
He was shaky, couldn’t focus. His chassis felt like it was put inside a vise and someone who hated him had control of the handle.
Ratchet had been a breath of fresh air when Deadlock hadn’t even known he was buried alive. And since then the medic had been stubbornly digging him the rest of the way out.
It. Just felt good.
Being cared for. Being able to relax around someone. And knowing with absolute certainty it wasn’t just an act.
He got used to it. Comfortable with a certain level of vulnerability. Then Ratchet brought in Hot Rod.
If Ratchet was a breeze that slipped inside Deadlocks mental fortress, then Hot Rod was a Fragging bunker busting missile. None of it felt like he deserved it.
Ratchet laid out his spark for judgement. Because Ratchet, amazing and wonderful and impossible Ratchet, didn’t want Deadlock to be stuck with someone like him.
Something shitty inside him whispered, “What if Ratchet doesn’t want to be stuck with someone like him?”
He ignored it. Pushed it down. He didn’t leak coolant over slag like that. He didn’t need people like Ratchet or Hot Rod in his life. He just really, really wanted them in his life. For completely selfish Decepticon-y reasons.
You’d die for them you know.
Shut up.
Deadlock’s processor wouldn’t stop spinning.
He felt exposed.
He felt like slag.
He felt like Drift.
So Deadlock set out to do the most Deadlock thing he could think of.
———————————————————————
Deadlock fucked up.
Deadlock fucked up very badly.
Snow was getting caught in his optics, melting on contact into a slush that made it that much harder to see.
The fragging swarm of quintesson scouts surrounding him were not having that same problem.
They moved in a pack. Smaller and smarter than the standard issue quints that normally devastated the planet, these things unfortunately had a tiny sense of self preservation which made mowing them down that much more difficult.
Deadlock was forced to constantly turn on his peds to avoid the majority of the quints that kept going after his back. There wasn’t a moment he wasn’t beating them off with the stock of his rifle. He couldn’t switch to any close range weapons because if he stopped fighting them off for even a second, the quints would rush him all at once, forcing him to continue.
Couldn’t stop moving for the same reason.
They kept trying to get behind him. Snapping barbed tendrils at the backs of his knees, the gaps of his armor. Trying to force him down.
If I fall I’m dead.
Deadlocks vents were screaming. A brave little fragger went for his face, Deadlock swung his rifle like a bat.
Distraction.
Shooting pain went through the back of his left knee joint. Something with barbs was forcing it apart. Something tore.
Deadlock immediately brought down the barrel through an eye socket and pulled the trigger. Didn’t have time to register if the quint was dead before another one came at him from the opposite side. His peds dragged furrows through the earth and snow. Spinning. He had to keep spinning.
He was slowing.
If I fall I’m dead.
The quints redoubled their efforts to get behind him. More lashes at his back. Another quint darting the other direction. Didn’t even attack. But Deadlock wasn’t ready for the feint and swung at empty air.
The pack leapt at his back as one.
I’m going to die.
Deadlock wedged his rifle between him and the ground. The quintessons tore into his back but the weight was too much to throw off without help.
I’m not gonna see them again.
The rifle dug into his pauldron.
I don’t want to die.
A tendril wrapped around his neck. He clawed at it.
I don’t want to die like this.
One of them was dragging a ped backwards. Forcing his weight onto his injured knee.
I don’t want to die alone.
Drift screamed.
For a moment, from the corner of his blurry optics, he saw a light growing brighter and brighter.
“Huh”, Drift thought deliriously. “I always figured the last light you see before death would appear in front of you.”
IMPACT against the mob at his back sent Drift and the quintesson scouts scattering across the ground.
He fell.
He wasn’t dead.
Deadlock scrambled into an upright kneel, ignoring the lightning like pain shooting up his knee.
Leaning on his rifle, Deadlock saw another mech. Orange and gold with propane blue lights, he had multiple quints trapped in a bear hug. What hit him the hardest was an EM field overflowing with wild, unrestrained joy.
“HOT ROD?!?”
The mecha pilot only got about half the squirmy, bite-y little scrappers in the hold. The other half were quickly shaking off probable Roddy-induced concussions and began leaping at the nearest, newest prone target.
Hot Rod waved.
“Hey dude! Holy shit, that gun looks awesome!” Deadlock looked on in disbelief as more quintessons piled onto Hot Rod.
“What are you doing?! Rod get up!” Deadlock lurched to his feet, his last few thoughts repeated like a skipping track.
I was going to die. I was going to die. Hot Rod is going to die.
The cybertronian rushed towards the mecha. Hot Rod released the remaining quints who quickly turned to join the crushing mass subsuming him.
Hot Rod raised a hand, “Stop! Stop! Don’t get closer!”
Deadlock stopped just short of where the quints would turn on him. “Are you insane?! I’m trying to help you!”
“Just trust me!” Half of Hot Rod’s helm was covered in blackish tendrils. “And then help me in about five seconds!” Orange and gold disappeared under the writhing mass, the light snuffed out before Deadlocks optics.
He finally subspaced his rifle, switching to duel short range handguns that were both messy and loud. He counted five, fucking human seconds.
Something happened to the mass. The squirming suddenly stopped, and in the gaps of the knots surrounding Hot Rod, Deadlock saw something start to glow.
In the next instance, the quintessons exploded off of the mecha. Partially from the act of fleeing, entirely because Hot Rod was completely engulfed in flames.
“WOO! Now the party can get started!” Hot Rod wasted no time in engaging duel flamethrowers and began chasing after the remaining quints with manic glee.
Deadlock stopped questioning shit and started shooting with a vengeance.
Soon enough, the field around them was littered with the quintesson scouts burned and shredded remains.
Deadlocks vents were finally kicking down from maximum and he finally managed to wipe the stupid slagging slush out of his optics.
For the moment his eyes were offline, Deadlock felt a spike of happy that almost bowled him over. A half second before Hot Rod physically bowled him over.
Deadlock’s overtaxed fight or flight systems just gave the fuck up and let the tackle happen.
Hot Rod had him in a tight enough embrace he wasn’t sure he could have gotten away anyways.
“Holy shit I thought you were going to die.” Hot Rod crushed him to his chassis. The twin waves of Worry and Relief were doing things to his processor again. Deadlock (Drift?) was still feeling the aftershocks of it all. Memories skipped again. I’m going to die.
Dea-Dri- he wrapped his shaking arms around Hot Rod. Later, he could just say his knee gave out. Everything was spinning. Wait. No. Hot Rod picked him up and was spinning with him.
“You’re so lil now!” Hot Rod was ecstatic.
Deadlock was back. “Put me down. Gently.”
Hot Rod acquiesced, but seeing Deadlock nearly fall on his own, took the liberty of slinging one of his arms over his shoulders.
“M’kay. You look like shit. Need help walking back to Ratchets? Or can you drive?”
Deadlocks knee and entire back ached, but it wasn’t so debilitating once he’s had a chance to process it for a click.
“Uh, I think I’ll be okay to drive once I get to a road.” Hot Rod pulled him a little more securely into the supporting hold and started walking in the direction of the nearest road.
“Man, that’s still so cool you can do that. I wish I could turn into a car.”
Deadlock snorted, “Oh I’m sure if you keep practicing you’ll figure it out. Try stretching.”
Hot Rod laughed. It was so weird to think there was just a little guy in there. Sitting in like, a fancy cup holder. He sounded like the real thing. Moved like it too. If Deadlock hadn’t met Hot Rod the human first, the uncanny valley would have tipped him off something was wrong, but teeny tiny guy in a big person-puppet would not be his first guess.
Hot Rod stopped short, snapping his helm toward Deadlock.
“Wait. Do you ever drop off Ratchet at the shatterdome?”
Deadlock rolled his optics at the third near spark attack Hot Rod had given him that day.
“Yeeeah?”
Excitement started bubbling over.
“YOU’RE THE MOB BOYFRIEND?!” Hot Rod was stomping his peds while scream-laughing, probably because he couldn’t go for a run without dropping Deadlock.
“Dude! Dude dude dude. Pharma haaates you!”
Well that put Deadlock in a better mood. Albeit, only due to a “misunderstanding”.
“S’not like that. I just give him a lift sometimes. Make sure he doesn’t forget his lunch. Or to take care of himself. We’re not, you know.” Deadlock was pointedly looking the other direction.
Hot Rods cackled at the confirmation of the rumor, and his field steadily shifted towards mischief.
“Oooh Ratchet!” Hot Rod had begun speaking in a falsetto voice. “I love you sooo much! I’m from space but my favorite stars are the ones twinkling in your eyes! I wanna drive you to every beautiful place on this planet and when we finally come home we can watch Golden Girls while you pet my big bald metal head!”
“I’m going to punt you into a fragging Sun.”
Hot Rod laughed harder. He started making some weird wheezing noise that Deadlock hoped meant the imaginary strangling he was doing was working.
“THE UNICRON DAMNED SUN.”
Deadlock’s threatening was severely undercut by the fact that he was laughing now as well. They’d just about made it to the edge of the forest when Hot Rod asked a question that made Deadlock freeze.
“How’d you piss off so many scouts at once anyways? They’re normally way too spread out to all be grouped together like that.”
There were only two times when a pack of quintesson scouts were all gathered in the same place. When they first get dropped off, and when they gather to get picked back up.
Deadlock unhooked his arm from Hot Rod, turning behind them.
The change in air pressure made his finales tingle. Between the snow and the darkness, it was almost impossible to spot with the untrained optic. The snow had stopped falling. It was being blocked.
“Oooh shit.” Hot Rod checked the fuel levels on his flame throwers, glancing between those and the telltale green bio lights of the fuck off massive quintesson descending like the lethargic offspring of a meteor and a shark.
Deadlock brought out two of his heaviest duty guns. And then a third he handed handle first to Hot Rod. Ratchet had only warned him against encouraging Hot Rod’s stupid ideas.
Hot Rod was now looking rapidly between three points of interest.
“Wha-?”
Deadlock gave Hot Rod a gun.
“Do not tell Ratchet.”
Hot Rod held up the side arm. Focus zeroed in. Pretty nasty piece that looked more intimidating than it was. Slagged range but it packed enough of a punch to be worth keeping. Covered in spikes and blades and heavy enough to act as a crude but very nasty club, it was also one of the most over the top looking things Deadlock owned.
Hot Rod’s free hand started flapping faster and faster. His peds similarly bounced rapidly in place, until Deadlock was certain he was about to combust. Hot Rod was making A noise. One that was steadily rising in both pitch and volume. His field going supernova.
The quintesson broke through the clouds, maw open, carving up the earth before them with the bottom of its jaw. A cliffside of teeth was closing in at speed.
Hot Rod screamed.
And Deadlock followed suit.
Sprinting towards death, guns blazing and voices raised in preemptive victory, Deadlock and maybe also Drift, had a suspicion the he and Hot Rod were friends in every universe.
Much to the terror of everyone else.
———————————————————————
And that’s the soft finale to this tale!
Over the course of writing this, the story kept getting longer, but the two scenes it started with were “Hot Rod Meets Deadlock” and “Hot Rod Saves Deadlock” and then more ideas kept popping in between those two scenes.
There is more I plan on writing for these dipshits as well as Jazz and Prowl now but we’ll see what comes first.
I just wanted to say as well that @keferon you are a very talented writer and you’re the reason I was brave enough to share my own stuff. You fit so many little details into your work that just hits like a hammer down the line.
-SSTP
THE SWEET SWEET COMFORT YESSS THE SHENANIGANS!! ABSOLUTELY. Y E S. PL E A S E fklgjgidowjehrkrndhdof
Oh this is amazing. The dynamic you give them. The enERGY. It's like a candy for my soul I love it so so much ogkfhdgd I'm so happy you decided to share your writing! It's filled with joy and and I-dont-fucking-know purified enthusiasm?? I can't remember the right words rn but hopefully you get what I mean haha
#maccadam#transformers#tf mecha universe#mecha art#mecha writing#mecha dr art#mecha dr writing#deadlock#hot rod#roddy#:>
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I don't want to be stronger I want to not have to look at every goddamn experience as building character.
I want to be safe.
I don't want people to bring me their guilt and their loneliness and their stupid conceptual boxes that no living human being could fit into. I don't want them to huddle on my doorstep begging me to be their mother and their therapist and their lifecoach and their rescuer and their goddamn excuse to pretend to be a good person while doing shitty things.
I don't want anyone to interact with me unless they give me money and I don't want even those people to try to dump all their fucking negative emotions on me or suck me into their black pit of need.
OI want to be free.
I want to need no one one and for no one to need me.
I want people to see me as an inherently untrustworthy and unsafe person who will not fix everything and put things back together for them.
Because your reward for being vulnerable is being preyed on.
Your reward for being helpful is having more messes to clean.
Your reward for being comforting is that other people coat you in their misery and it's never enough.
Your reward for being caring and trustworthy and not shutting down someone's bullshit
And let's be real
Usually shallow to an insulting degree
Like shallow to the point where this person obviously thinks you are the dumbest most emotionally deprived person to ever live
Like shallow to the point that if all it took for someone to think they were that devoted to you was for you to not be actively a bitch to them for five minutes
Are you supposed to believe that?
Or does this person just hate you and want to punish you for being nice by lying to you?
It has to be that they are lying because they are normal and have everything going for them.
So you know that person thinks you are stupid and worthless and pathetic and unlovable and also gullible
Your reward for telling that person no but still letting them talk to you when they don't do that
Is just them refusing to stop trying to convince you that they love you.
Your reward for believing someone is in love with you when they might be is always total and complete loss of personal autonomy and them systematically destroying everything you love.
Your reward for not shutting this shit right down is that they think they can pull a face and say some words and make you feel bad and then you will take all the responsibility for them and do anything they want.
You become a parent or a child or a slave.
If I could surgically remove my ability to feel empathy I would.
That shit is only ever used against you.
Other people conveniently always feel really bad but never act in a way that helps you or pays you back or supports you.
It's just a way to prey on the weak.
No one ever sees you acting like you care about their displays of feelings as anything other than a sign that they don't have to act to help you or be kind to you because you are worthless.
honestly, the radicalizing event that made me ditch faux-ironic detachment is when I sent a hard-to-write sentimental message to someone I was (at the time) close with, and they sent the vomiting emoji back. it was like oh okay, that sucks. I am now of the opinion that it is 100x cooler and braver to be sappy with the people you care about.
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mars + competition 😛
I was watching The Nanny the other night and Fran is soooo Leo-coded, specifically Venus and Mars. But what really stands out to me is her Leo Mars energy, especially in how direct she is in romance. Like when Mr. Sheffield hinted that she probably wasn’t that great of a kisser, and her response was to push him onto the couch and make out with him LMAOOOO. That Leo Mars pride was not about to let him get away with that comment 😭. She’s also THAT girl with her outfits, the bold colors, the fur, the way she commands attention without even trying.
But the real reason I see her as a Leo Mars is because of how others, especially women, would get jealous of her. Mars represents competition. It’s not just how we fight but also how people will try to compete with us and where they’ll aim their jabs. For Fran, her outfits were always a target. People would call them too much, too flashy, or even cheap. But it wasn’t really about the clothes. It was about how effortlessly she managed to shine and attract attention, especially from men.
Your Mars sign and house can give you hints about where people will try to strike, thinking it’ll hurt you the most. For Fran, her Leo Mars energy made her shineeee, stand out, and command attention in a way that had the other girlies shook. But what made her unstoppable wasn’t just the way she would shine. It was her response (and thats how you use your mars energy purr). She stayed unbothered. Every insult, every jab just seemed to only make her smile bigger and come into the next scene with another amazing coat.
but thats the thing with Leo Mars energy. People will get jealous when you’re complimented on your creativity, your personality, or just how you light up a room. They’ll make comments like, “You’re overdressed,” (leos are the ones dressing up just to sit in living room for thanksgiving lol) or “I don’t know what they see in her.” but we know that when people look at your mars energy and youre using it to your full power what they actually mean is “I wish I had that energy.” Fran’s entrance into any room or scene would have people turning their heads or some characters looking her up and down lol. And then she’d smile even bigger double down on her charisma and leave them maddddd
She also got hate for how much the kids loved her (aka Leo energy, tied to the fifth house, rules children, creativity, and joy, and Fran embodied all of it). The kids adored her because she treated them with warmth, humor, and genuine care, and that just added another layer to why people couldn’t handle her shine.
Mars placements are fascinating to look at because they don’t just show us how we fight. They show us where people will try to provoke us and where they hope we’ll embarrass ourselves. With Leo Mars, when your pride gets bruised, the instinct is to react. You want to throw a a big ass fit, prove your point, and make sure everyone knows they shouldn’t have said or done that to you. and yes sometimes when we show out it might work but only STRATEGICALLY. other times? It’s just embarrassing. I say this as a Leo Mars myself because when I was younger i would loseee it 😭. And looking back, I know that’s exactly what they wanted bc it gave them a reaction and therefore power over me. They wanted me to lose control, and I gave them the show they were hoping for.
That’s why Mars placements require strategy. You have to understand how your Mars energy operates and when to lean in or pull back. One of my besites has a Taurus Mars and her energy looks totally different. Taurus Mars people value comfort, stability, and high standards. They know what they like and they won’t settle for less. But that’s exactly where people will poke. Her family will make comments like, “You’re so bougie,” or “Why are you being so picky?” And those aren’t harmless jokes. They’re calculated comments aimed at making her question herself bc in a way with our mars ppl know it can land. But the best response for my bestie as a Taurus Mars is to double down. Own it. Stay firm. Keep being picky and valuing quality because those comments are just projections.
Another friend of mine has libra mars. Libra is ruled by Venus as well so her Mars (similar to taurus) energy shines in relationships, beauty, and aesthetics but in a diff way. But because of that, people always have something to say. They’ll comment on how much time or money she puts into her appearance or nitpick her relationships like they have a say in them. But Mars in Libra thrives in those areas. The best move isn’t to shrink back. It’s to lean in. Show up in the most flawless outfit, invest even more in her beauty rituals, and let them deal with their own envy.
The key with mars is knowing your own triggers so you don’t let just anybody have power over you. in my random mars observations post I had said “Overall, we know that the sign and the house our mars is in are themes of the martian we have to deal with on a daily basis. we must recognize that there may be more conflict in those aspects of our lives, and we must decide if we will let it overwhelm us and devour us with rage and frustration. Or if we are going to dive in already using our expertise and previous experiences and being selective about where we are going to devote our energy.”
For example: For Gemini Mars, competition often comes through communication. Arguments, debates, or gossip can become battlegrounds, and if Mars is in the third house, this might show up with siblings or in their immediate environment. Cancer Mars might experience conflict with family members or within their home life. Emotional manipulation or guilt-tripping can be common ways people try to compete with them.
Libra Mars faces challenges in relationships. People might criticize their romantic choices, comment on their appearance, or undermine their peace. The trick for Libra Mars is not letting those opinions throw them off balance. Leo Mars often faces competition through their ability to shine. People will call them too flashy or accuse them of being attention-seeking, but this usually comes from envy. The best response is to keep showing up confidently and unapologetically.
Mars in the sixth house often faces challenges at work. Coworkers might test their patience or try to undermine them in small ways. Mars in Virgo has a similar energy, but their competition often comes from within too. They may struggle with perfectionism or worry about their health (making self-care essential.. protect that skin, gut, mental health!!)
Mars in the 10th house feels the pressure in their career and public image. They might deal with judgment, high expectations, or criticism from others and themselves (my former coworker quit a job bc the girlies were MADDD and hating on her which I understand but she should’ve went harder to shitttt on them). Mars in the 11th house, or Aqua mars, often faces competition in social settings or group dynamics. They might feel excluded or like they don’t fit in, but their strength comes from staying true to their individuality (and that is what attracts the right people). Scorpio Mars or Mars in the 8th house and people might try to compete in more subtle but super manipulative ways like pushing your boundaries or making backhanded little comments to see if you are giving into their power plays. or people compete to the point where they are obsessed with you. they could try to use secrets against you (the type to have ppl ask around for dirt on you). but instead scorpio mars/ mars in the 8h (DONT CRASH OUT IK U WANT TO) but stay calm, smile in their face, pretend you don’t give a fuck. They���ll be thinking “Why isn’t this working?”
But anyhoomsttt that is really what works for me with Mars energy. Whether it’s Leo, Taurus, Libra, or any other sign, Mars isn’t just about raw action (obviously we know it can be and sometimes in has to be) but for the most part It’s about playing smart. Sometimes it means showing out, sometimes it means standing firm, and sometimes it means being so deeply comfortable in your own energy that other people can’t stand it. and they can stay mad ❤️
#astro observations#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology#random astro#random astro note#astrology for beginners#rxmxa#mars#leo mars#taurus mars#libra mars#gemini mars#virgo mars#aquarius mars#cancer mars#mars in the 6th house#the nanny#fran fine
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Dear My Dear -
an @forgettable-au fan-slideshow
At the end of their journey, Sans has remembered everything. And theres only one question on his mind now…
*now what?
Its lore time. omg theres so much-
The way ill organize this…lIll start with the GENERAL thing, before getting more spesific, and explain each slide in way too much detail.
THE BIGGER PICTURE
This is the hypothetical end to their journey. Sans and Papyrus remember what happened, and this is how Sans is handling it. A letter to Wingdings.
I was hesitant to make this at first for obvious reasons- we dont know how its gonna end!!! But I took this more as a “what if ?” scenario. IF they ever remember anything, how would Sans specifically, react? I mean thats gotta be tough.
Because of that though, lot of what happened to lead up to this is kept vague.
ill explain in way more detail how Sans got to the point of writing this letter, and how he feels in the end when I explain each slide individually. But the reason why, the MAIN ISSUE is…
Over the years, hes put so much effort into enjoying what he has. And- nothings even changed!!! So why does he feel so much has? Now that he remembers what he lost…WHO he lost. He cant help but have this voice in the back of his head that says “would it have been better if that never happened? if Papyrus never existed?” and of course he absolutely hates to think that! but the voice gets louder. Writing this letter, is an act of closure. Of laying to rest someone he never got to. Someone he never even really got to do much with.
(Excuse the shitty quality of the images- I promise they’re better. WATCH THE VIDEO)
my dear wingdings,)
Sans says “wingdings” here instead of “brother”. that’s important. Also its on a white void, showing a sorta “heavenly imagery” with the mention of Wingdings. Also Gaster is in a BLACK void, but hes talking about WD here, so, contradictions.
you never came back, and now…after remembering everything everything clearly i understand why.)
Sans and Papyrus are sitting by a fire at night. They are both sorta lost in their own worlds at the moment, but are more or less leaning on one another for comfort and support. They both need each other right now despite each other being the whole reason why they feel the way they do right now-
Papyrus is notably no longer wearing the white coat that somewhat resembles a lab coat. Symbolism! Growth!
(art note: I drew Sans as a lefty in this- cherish it. It was so hard to draw these hands at these angles- CHERISH IT.)
i don’t imagine you’ll receive this letter, but i, nonetheless, must send it. wingdings….oh ‘dings…)
the first part is somewhat of a self aware/sarcastic joke. Sans is writing this letter for himself- he doesn’t imagine Wingdings, the dead man, will ever see it. Nor would Gaster care to read it. Thats another important thing, this is NOT a letter for Gaster. This is a letter for Wingdings. which is for Sans
The star in the sky symbolizes a few different things- the main one being Wingdings ofc. But also Papyrus’ expectations of himself- which mainly come from who he was. He’s looking at it, reflecting, thinking of what Wingdings did, and what Papyrus has done. Who he is NOW, and if he ever was Wingdings.
Or if Wingdings just became him.
A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t a square type thing.
i was just starting to dream the silliest- the softest of dreams. i miss you. and i will always miss you.)
2 contradictions, what Sans used to think, vs what he knows now. The memories were fuzzy- he couldn’t remember The Royal Scientist, he just feels like he remembers some nice times. Before now knowing everything clearly. And he still misses it- slightly.
The reflections are blacked out at first, before showing their future selves. Before, there was no connection to the present because it wasnt true. It felt like/was 2 completely different things
but i cannot live like that.)
Sans can still tell, even without the rose tinted glasses view he used to have, he cant live missing the past and not living in the present. He always knew that, but repeating it here makes him feel better.
Pictured is Sans and Papyrus hiking up the mountain next to the city as the sun sets. Papyrus is in full view of the light, but is facing away in order to help Sans see it too. Symbolism!
and it seems you cannot live any other way.)
another reference to the fact that Wingdings cant live… at all now. But also an awareness that part of him lives on in Gaster. The thing that killed him.
I doubt hes going to change in any way by the end of the comics, he’s far to obsessive about angels and the player for childish stuff like “growth” and “changing for the better as a human being”
when i was with you, the world made sense. but now that we are apart, i see clearly that your world is not a world from which one can escape.)
When they were together, they knew what they wanted to be. They wanted to be scientists. But after being apart so long and experiencing so much uncertainty, Sans finds that mindset is unhealthy. Again, a lot of this is stuff he already knew, but is repeating to himself because after remembering everything, he feels as if hes back at square one.
As kids they would test echo flowers, for science purposes! We don’t know yet if WDs voice comes through on them, but I imagine not… maybe. But for this we’re gonna say no. Their speech bubbles are trying so hard to be circles- the scribbles also somewhat resemble stars because I thought that’d be fun.
But the last slide has it shown that he dug them out, also for science purposes!
He took the echo flowers from their roots, much later on in his lab career. That in itself isnt that bad, but it symbolizes that he doesn’t care much for taking things slow. He wants to test with echo flowers? **TAKES EVERY SINGLE ONE WITHIN A 100 MILE RADIUS**
Also the empty holes reflects sort of what happened after he died. All of the underground was left with holes to fill. Sans, a childhood/brother. Alphys, the royal scientist. Those are the main ones but he was THE ROYAL SCIENTIST im sure there were more (smaller) holes that may or may not have been filled.
Ok and the last thing the flowers being taken out represent- he took the ones specifically from when they were kids, and abandoned what was left for the grass to grow tall and the entire area to be, in general, a lot flatter. In his quest to basically never grow up and continue being the thing he KNEW he wanted to be since kindergarten- he’s taken everything and left the rest in the dust. He’s The Royal Scientist now, he “doesn’t need anything else.”
i’m so sorry. for everything. for everything long ago, and for starting up that machine again.
Sans knows he could have been better. He could have done things differently, and that thought messes with him, even before he remembered.
The 2nd image is Sans at Grillbys after another failed attempt to get Wingdings outside. Despite the fact that he could have done things differently, theres no real reason to be “sorry” But still, he cant help but feel like he should be. He could have done things differently- could have tried harder, and gotten Wingdings out more often- or at all.
Im not sure where the machine in Sans’ lab comes into play in this AU, but it worked for the purposes of this audio.
theres a good man within you, wingdings. but he is wrestling with a giant. and the giant WINS time and again.)
Before everything, there was still a good man inside Wingdings that Sans saw. But now that he’s Gaster he just cant see him ever changing... and yknow what hes probably right. Like Papyrus says! Anyone can be a good person if they just try!…Gaster just isnt trying
“Wins” being emphasized here, I enjoy, since its sorta a video gamey term. The giant hes wrestling is that/the player, after all. Also probably his ego
I also had fun with kid Wingdings and what he’s drawing. Ofc its all him and Sans plus silly little stars, but him being finished drawing Sans, but not yet finished drawing himself, symbolizes the fact that at that age he still didn’t really know what he wanted to be, I feel like Wingdings kinda remembers the past wrong. Sure he definitely had science on the mind, but younger kids are often filled with questions, he questions if thats truly where he’d be the happiest.
Thats the good man within him
you’ve broken my soul again, and i fear i have broken yours. and for that i will never forgive myself, but i need to let you go now.)
the star represents, again, Wingdings. And the moon represents Sans, which shines only under the Suns (Papyrus’) light.
The sun is beginning to rise, and Sans and Papyrus are beginning to leave. Sans puts out the fire, closing this chapter of his life.
Because of every reason he needed to relearn/re-reflect on listed here, hes ready to let Wingdings go now. Sans is the one to put out the fire here, and not Papyrus, cause this is from the perspective of how SANS handles putting this issue to rest. Papyrus can have his own fire to put out later
Another thing about putting out the fire, thats just kinda common knowledge to do especially at a public camping spot. Yknow what else is common knowledge to do so you dont disrupt the community?? NOT REPLANTING FLOWERS-
Its not that deep…but still-
i send you the radio you made many years ago when we were kids. not because i dont want it, but… because i care for it far too much and it reminds me too much of you.)
CALL BACK!!!!!!
Sans leaves this last memento to Wingdings, the last thing they have that has nothing to do with Papyrus. Because at this point theres no reason to keep it, in Sans’ mind at least. There’s also no reason to destroy it- Like he says, hes not leaving it out of malice, theres just no good that will come from keeping it and holding onto the past.
As the sun rises, here we see the brothers leaving. in contrast to before, Sans is helping Papyrus down. Helping him down from the spotlight, the expectations he’s set upon himself. Another kick that Papyrus still has much more to reflect on and think about, he’s still looking back at that light, at a shooting star, at everything he thought he wanted to be.
i hope one day you will find some kind people who with appreciate you. for it kept me thinking of you all these years.)
GASTER FOLLOWERS!!!
Despite everything, Sans still wants whats left of Wingdings, Gaster, to be happy and find something, anyone, that will give him true happiness. It’s left ambiguous however if they truly do, do that for him. If it’s at all healthy.
cause frankly i have no idea how theyll be included. but just like everything- i cant wait to find out
and i hope by returning it to you, i can finally be free. goodbye.
- your brother
As the sun rises, the star gets smaller and smaller and eventually the sun replaces it. Remember when I said Papyrus represents the sun? SYMBOLISM!!!
Also about that, the star shines brighter than anything, but the Sun is among a lot of clouds, depicting how isolated Wingdings is/was despite shining the brightest, vs Papyrus who also does indeed shine! but isn’t isolated whatsoever.
Now, remember when I said Sans saying “my dear wingdings” instead of “my dear brother” was important? well, he acknowledges that he is still Wingdings’ brother, despite everything. So he signs off as “your brother” but… He’ll always try to remember Wingdings fondly…but…he’s unsure if he considers Wingdings his brother anymore- just because of how much they’ve changed. Thats why the whole thing is called Dear My Dear.
the radio + letter remains there in the end. I briefly played with the idea of having them disappear as the sun came out, implying that Gaster took the radio and reas the letter, but that was before I realized it was much better for this to be for Wingdings specifically, not Gaster/Wingdings/whatever.
FINALE!!! PLUS SOME BEHIND THE SCENES INFO!!!
weeps pitifully this was probably the most fun i’ve had with a project/the most happy i’ve come out of one. Learned lots about my process’ and what works! so thats awesome It took a while to make, so theres a lot of stuff I changed or ideas I scrapped that I find interesting, so im gonna show some of that on my side/shitpost account, @o-sunny-day
also isnt this so awesome???? I got a computer so I got to post more images than just 10, THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!
Have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year! Heres to being a bigger, better, and different person this year! except not really because despite everything its still you.
un-unless you…got shattered across time and space…. then you’re-
well I mean that-….. hm…
does that…? hmm, well….
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Frithuswith (protagonist of my current wip, Adultery, Assassination)
[1] Frithuswith is immediately beloved by all. She genuinely loves everyone she meets. Major golden retriever energy, but still competent enough to be one of her kingdom's greatest monarchs.
[2] She's a queen consort. She's never alone. But if she was, she'd probably just... vibe, I guess, I don't know.
[3] Grief, specifically the kind that comes from betrayal. She just denies everything. The only reason she believed Eadgifu when she said she seduced Rastislav (her husband) was because Eadgifu was "running too high a fever to be lying" at the time.
[4] Loving almost to a fault and will make everyone aware.
[5] Definitely a good secret keeper seeing as no one found out about the attempt on Rastislav's life. But they all knew Frithuswith used her regency to usurp the throne.
[6] She meant what she said and she said what she meant. An elephant's faithful one hundred percent!
[7] She could probably lie if she wanted to, but she just... doesn't want to.
[8] She will definitely let you know. She's spunky.
[9] I... don't know, actually. Maybe all of them? I think she can adapt.
[10] Frithuswith fell for Rastislav hard and fast, and trusted him blindly.
[11] A crackling fire, a soft blanket, and an opportunity to yap.
[12] Her self-esteem is pretty high, but she's not arrogant. She knows she's flawed, but she also knows worse people can and do exist.
[13] A joke that might take a second to get. A funny one-liner or clever pun.
[14] It depends on the situation. A flustered/crush laugh is a giggle. An amused laugh is a cackle. Then there's that sad laugh. I don't know how to type it, but I'm guessing you all know what it sounds like.
[15] She overthrew her husband because he cheated on her. This question can't be answered because Frithuswith is never around someone she doesn't like. She just kicks them out or leaves.
[16] She's self-reliant but not problematically.
___
[17] The constant fear of being assassinated.
[18] No.
[19] She wouldn't have married Rastislav. She would have kicked and screamed and insisted on her father making an alliance with another country. Or joined a convent. Or run off into the woods.
[20] She just does her darndest to solve the problem. Cheating husband? Kick him out. Girl tried to assassinate him because she's a hitwoman? Give her a new job. She's very practical.
[21] Really depends on how sick. A little sniffle or an upset stomach? Leave her alone. the plague? Please hold her.
[22] She'll have nightmares, but they're more vaguely threatening and they don't happen often. If they do, she doesn't remember them.
[23] During canon. Husband gets plague, finds out husband got plague from cheating on her because mistress is an assassin, has to rule the country and figure out how to deal...
[24] I'd say overthrowing the king was a pretty heart over head decision.
[25] The story is set in what is implied to be Medieval Europe, so I think all her fears were rational and the better question is why isn't she afraid of everything?
[26] If she does, I'm not sure how important it is to the plot. Up to you guys :) She may have a few traits yoinked from autism though. As a treat. Because I'm autistic. But it's entirely open to interpretation.
[27] She doesn't really have a physical appearance. She could be anyone. But my current mental image of her is Jane from My Lady Jane (the TV show).
[28] Forgiveness is complex. It doesn't mean no longer being hurt. It doesn't mean reconciliation. It means intentionally choosing not to hold a grudge and hate that person for the sake of the forgiver. So I really don't know.
[29] Eliminate the cause, cry...
[30] Healthiest: cry, solve problem. Unhealthiest: you could put her quotes on r/rare insults probably
[31] Hmmmm... I think it depends on whether she's aware that what she did was wrong. If she knowingly did something wrong, she'd own up to it quickly and easily, but if it was an accident or only considered wrong by an arbitrary societal standard (e.g. greeting someone with a cat noise, wearing pants around the palace, etc.), she probably won't, at least not without putting up a bit of a fight.
[32] Being so trusting.
[33] Her wedding. Even if the guy turned out to be an adulterous asshole, she still looks back on it as a good day.
___
[34] She's impulsive and naive, but I don't know how insecure she is about that.
[35] Up to interpretation. I didn't give her a physical appearance, nor do I know if/what beauty standards are applicable in the setting, so it's up to everyone else.
[36] Yes, definitely. Her wedding dress and ring, probably.
[37] She doesn't get those. She has a kingdom to run.
[38] It's a castle. It's inherently safe, otherwise purposeless.
[39] Sidesleeper, probably scrunched up, likes to be the little spoon.
[40] It's the Middle Ages. She can't afford that.
[41] Wake up, get dressed by lady/ies-in-waiting, monch.
[42] Cuddle time for both
[43] She's the queen. That's not a thing.
[44] Wherever the people are.
[45] Depends on the event.
[46] Comfort.
[47] Probably, but not much. Maybe a glass of wine or mead with dinner. Maybe a couple on her wedding night.
[48] princess->queen
___
[49] Literate, good at politics (not even a period-typical misogyny thing, King John of England needed a signet ring for a reason)
[50] Really good at knowing what she wants, really bad at wanting things society wants her to want, probably
[51] I refer again to her position in society.
[52] Old English (Frithuswith was named after St. Frithuswith, Patron Saint of Oxford, that's her native language), Czech (Rastislav is named after the king of Moravia in the 860's), and probably Latin (church and stuff)
[53] I feel like they didn't sing much outside of church at that time...
[54] Just tell her what you want and she'll do her best to get it to you :)
[55] It takes three weeks for habits to be developed, so...
[56] Depends. Was it clever? Did the dirt contribute? Is she eating? Are there children present? What's the relationship between the maker of the joke and everyone else present, including but not limited to her?
[57] Nurse the woman who tried to assassinate her husband back to health.
[58] Morals
[59] She doesn't care much about if she's remembered or specifically what for, but if she is remembered, she wants it to be for something good or morally neutral
[60] I think she already did. She usurped the throne. I think that counts, except she can't break the law because she is the law, so...
OC questions
60 questions that can be made into an OC ask game, or you can just fill everything out yourself to get to know your character a little better :)
___
[1] What first impression do they typically make? Are they likeable from the get go, or take time to grow on people?
[2] How does their social personality differ from how they act when they’re alone?
[3] What emotion is the hardest for them to deal with?
[4] How physically and emotionally affectionate they are?
[5] Are they good at keeping secrets?
[6] How direct are they in conversations, do they speak in hints and riddles or bluntly say what they think?
[7] Are they a good liar, and what would they probably lie about?
[8] How open they are about their true feelings, both positive and negative?
[9] What is their love language?
[10] How quickly do they fall for someone?
[11] What are small things that make them happy?
[12] How high is their self-esteem?
[13] What kind of sense of humor do they have, if any?
[14] What does it take to make them laugh, and what does their laugh sound like?
[15] How do they act around people they don't like?
[16] Do they easily rely on others to help them out, or prefer doing everything themselves?
___
[17] What is their biggest struggle that no one around them is able to understand or believe?
[18] Do they ever have to hide their identity and for what reason?
[19] If they could change one thing about their past, what would they change?
[20] When they’re sad or upset, do they need company or some time alone?
[21] When they’re sick, would they want others to visit and take care of them, or they would rather prefer not to be seen at not their best?
[22] Do they have nightmares, and if yes, when did they start and what are they usually about?
[23] What was the worst, the darkest period of their life that they have been through?
[24] How hard it is for them to not allow their emotions to cloud their judgement?
[25] Do they have fears and phobias, and if they do, do they usually keep it to themselves or talk about it openly?
[26] Do they have any physical or mental ilness, how do they handle it and how open they are about it?
[27] Do they have any scars, how did they get them and how do they feel about them?
[28] What is something that they will never be able to forgive?
[29] How do they deal with loss, stress and anger?
[30] What are their most healthy and most unhealthy coping mechanisms?
[31] How hard it is for them to own up to their mistakes and wrongdoings?
[32] Is there something they've done in the past that they deeply regret till this day?
[33] What are one of their fondest and most treasured memories?
___
[34] Do they have vices they don't want others to know about?
[35] Do they like their own appearance, and what do they do, if anything, to alter it in any way?
[36] Do they own items that have sentimental value?
[37] How would they spend a lazy day when they have nothing specific to do?
[38] What do they usually do or where do they go when they need to feel comfortable and safe?
[39] What is their sleeping habits and favorite sleeping position, either alone and with someone?
[40] How picky they are with food, do they have specific dietary requirements based on their health or culture?
[41] What’s their usual morning routine?
[42] What is their idea of a perfect friendly hangout and/or romantic date?
[43] Do they enjoy flirting or being flirted with?
[44] On a party, where would you find them?
[45] For an event, would they dress like they typically do, or go all out?
[46] Would they rather dress to look attractive or to feel comfortable, and what would they never wear?
[47] Do they drink alcohol, and if they do, how much and how often?
[48] Are they, or were they at some point in their life, a part of any subculture?
___
[49] Do they possess any unexpected skill or knowledge that surprises others, and otherwise, what is something anyone would assume they know or can do, but in fact they don’t?
[50] What are they really good and really bad at?
[51] How good are they with money?
[52] Do they speak any other languages aside from their own?
[53] Do they like to sing and how confident they are with their singing?
[54] Do they like giving gifts, and how good are they at picking good gifts?
[55] How long does it take for them to make a new place feel like home, and what do they need for it?
[56] How would they react to hearing a dirty joke?
[57] What was the most stupid or dangerous thing they have ever done?
[58] In the situation where they had to choose, would they rather stay loyal to their morals or to people they love?
[59] What would they want to be remembered for?
[60] If they were to commit a crime, what kind of crime would it most likely be?
---
some of these question were written myself, some are the courtesy of my friend, and some were brought from my questionnaires in my old fandom. if you use them, please reblog or link back to this post
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You Should Have Run Away
✰ summary: once upon a time, in the bustling streets of shibuya, there lived a beautiful mafia princess who had angered her brother greatly. no matter what she did, she couldn’t shake off her brother’s overprotective grip. frustrated and seeking revenge, the princess decided to venture into the forbidden territory of shinjuku. when the princess stepped into the lair of the evil king, it was impossible for her not to catch his attention. to her, using her brother’s greatest enemy as a tool for revenge seemed like a brilliant idea. but once the beast wanted something, it became his. in the end, the beast would make sure the princess paid the price for daring to enter forbidden territory.
✰ pairing: rival mafia boss!sukuna x mafia princess fem!reader
✰ warnings: +18 Minors Do Not Interact +18 mafia au, mentioning of beating, mentioning of sex, gojo as a protective brother, use of mature language, use of alcohol, eventual smut, neck kissing and sucking, sukuna calls reader “miss gojo” and “brat”, oral sex (reader receiving), fingering, sukuna has a definitely heels fetish, little teasing, big dick alert!!!!!, unprotected sex, possesive behaviours, creampie, sukuna hates gojo lol
✰ word count: 5.4k
✰ a little note: while i’ve started reading mafia romance books again, it wouldn’t feel right not to write something like this. enjoy!
“This was your last chance, and you used it, princess,” your brother yelled at you furiously.
“Fuck off, Toru! Just because I slept with someone doesn’t mean you can beat him half to death and then force him to grovel at my feet to apologize,” you snapped back, your tone far angrier than his.
Your brother’s increasingly overprotective behavior was becoming unbearable. Fine, maybe he was about to take over an important clan, and sure, given the dirty work he handled, he knew how manipulative and dangerous people could be.
Satoru Gojo wasn’t a bad person—at least not when it came to his family. But if someone disrespected the clan? No one wanted to see his bad side. And if they wanted something even worse than that, all they had to do was mess with you.
“Go to your room, princess. I don’t even want to see you step outside for the next two weeks. If you need something, tell Yuji to get it for you. But you’re not setting foot out of this house. Understood?”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Don’t test me, princess. You know the rules—anyone who dares to touch you faces a fate worse than death.” His eyes were bloodshot. He must not have slept all night, and finding out about your little escapade had probably wiped any chance of sleep from his mind.
Screw this. Enough was enough. You were perfectly capable of seeing whoever you wanted. If someone tried to use you, you’d know. After all, the whole “Six Eyes” thing, which basically meant knowing and seeing everything, wasn’t exclusive to your brother. But still, the bastard refused to believe you could protect yourself.
“How long are you planning to keep protecting me, Gojo Satoru? Until I’m dead? I’ll be with whoever I want—” Your words cut off as your brother shot you a deadly glare. You usually chose to fight back in situations like this, but Satoru, with his anger and lack of sleep, might very well set the house on fire.
“Go to your room. Now.” He didn’t shout, but the tone of his voice made it clear you shouldn’t push him any further.
“Fuck you, Gojo Satoru.” With that, you turned toward the stairs and headed to your room.
Slamming the door shut behind you, you began pacing back and forth, your anger boiling over. Did he really think you wouldn’t leave the house? You weren’t his precious little princess. And he wasn’t even officially the head of the clan yet. Sure, he ran most of the operations since your father had grown old, but the final word still belonged to your father.
Your pacing came to a halt when your phone buzzed with incoming messages.
𓉘22:32𓉝 Nobara: holy shit i just saw your message so your brother found out huh?
𓉘22:32𓉝 Nobara: honestly the only thing i can say about that guy is that satoru gojo’s gonna kill him
𓉘22:33𓉝 Nobara: if not he’ll probably do something worse
Nobara was right. Unfortunately, your brother had already made the guy wish he were dead.
𓉘22:33𓉝 You: i wish he’d just killed him
𓉘22:33𓉝 You: oh and guess what? i’m grounded for two weeks can’t leave the house
𓉘22:33𓉝 Nobara: if I know you there’s no way you’re staying put
𓉘22:33𓉝 Nobara: wanna do something fun?
You? Of course, you wanted to. Especially right now.
𓉘22:34𓉝 You: what's on your mind?
𓉘22:34𓉝 Nobara: there’s a party in shinjuku
𓉘22:34𓉝 Nobara: you know where
Shit. Unfortunately you knew. Everyone knew about Malevolent Shrine. And everyone knew what went down at the parties there. That club was pure chaos—exclusive and dripping with danger. Just like its owner.
Shinjuku was off-limits for you. Actually, it was off-limits for anyone from your clan. That wasn’t your territory. Worse, the owner, Ryomen Sukuna, was your family’s sworn enemy. His empire ruled Shinjuku, and he was the Evil King.
Sukuna was the kind of man no one should mess with. Especially not you.
You could never go there. For one, you’d die—not by your brother’s hands but Sukuna’s. The moment you stepped foot in Shinjuku, his men would put a bullet in your head. And if you somehow made it to the club, the security would handle the rest.
𓉘22:35𓉝 You: you know i can’t go there
𓉘22:35𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:35𓉝 Nobara: name a better way to get back at your brother?
𓉘22:36𓉝 You: girl are you insane? the second i step foot there i’m dead meat
𓉘22:36𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:36𓉝 You: stop calling me that
𓉘22:36𓉝 Nobara: i’m not stopping until you say yes
𓉘22:36𓉝 Nobara: chicken chicken chicken
This girl was crazy. Watching the string of “chicken” messages fill your screen, you considered her plan. You were furious with your brother. You didn’t want him to protect you forever. You were a grown woman who had every right to be with whoever you wanted. No one could dare talk about a woman’s “honor” like it was their business.
You were so sick of men.
The messages on your screen had already hit 20. Were you really going to stay home like a scared little chicken? Or were you going to be the mafia princess who didn’t care about the danger?
Screw it. There wasn’t a single drop of cowardice in Gojo blood.
𓉘22:38𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:38𓉝 Nobara: fuck my fingers are cramping but i'm not stopping
𓉘22:38𓉝 Nobara: chicken
𓉘22:38𓉝 You: i’ll be at your place in thirty
𓉘22:39𓉝 You: my brother’s probably too busy at our club blowing off steam and fucking someone to notice
𓉘22:39𓉝 You: also yuji owes me a favor
𓉘22:39𓉝 You: but yuji can’t drive us there you know they’d recognize the car
𓉘22:39𓉝 Nobara: i knew you weren’t a chicken 😘
𓉘22:39𓉝 Nobara: wear that gold dress
𓉘22:39𓉝 Nobara: we’re stealing all the attention tonight 💃
Shutting off your phone, you walked to your closet and pulled out the gold mini-dress you’d just bought from Rabanne. As you held it up, a sly smile spread across your face.
There was no way you wouldn’t get noticed in this.
“I hate you, you know that, right?” Yuji said, glancing at you through the rearview mirror as he drove.
“You owed me.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t, but this wasn’t what I had in mind.” In a high-pitched, comical voice, he added, “I didn’t know my debt was death!”
When you hurriedly got ready and came downstairs, as expected, your brother wasn’t home. Yuji was sitting on the couch, playing on his phone. When he heard the sound of your heels clicking, he turned his head toward you, and the look on his face wasn’t a good sign. The sight of you in 10 cm heels and a sparkling gold dress could only mean trouble.
As you checked your lipstick in a small mirror, you said, “Don’t worry. My brother will drink himself into oblivion and fuck someone senseless tonight. It’s the perfect time to teach him a lesson.”
“Even if you threatened to tattle to Papa Gojo, I still shouldn’t be doing this. But damn it, your dad is even scarier.”
Your brother could definitely be terrifying, but the person who made him that way was your father. If what you wanted wasn’t done, your father wouldn’t hesitate to put bullets through anyone.
Of course, if your father knew you were heading to enemy territory in Shinjuku right now, things would turn out very differently.
Ten minutes later, when Yuji stopped in front of Nobara’s house, you planted a quick kiss on his cheek. “Nobara said she called an Uber. That must be the car in front. Thanks for the ride.”
Just as you were about to step out, Yuji grabbed your arm. When you turned to look at him, you saw the worry etched on his face. “This clears my debt. If anyone asks you, I didn’t bring you here, okay? Also…” He took a deep breath. “If anything happens, you call me. Immediately.”
“You’ve got it.” You smiled to ease his concern and stepped out of the car. As soon as you approached the idling car with its lights on, you peered through the window to see Nobara. The moment you spotted her, you opened the door and got in.
“God, it’s freezing out there.”
“Hey, gorgeous. Holy shit, that dress is incredible.” Nobara whistled, giving you an approving once-over.
“We have to make this night worth it, don’t we?” you said, a sly grin spreading across your face. Both of you laughed, and during the drive to the club, you recounted every infuriating thing your brother had done lately.
When the Uber driver announced you’d arrived, you looked at the black building bathed in red lights. If you were to paint a picture of hell, this would probably be it.
You were officially in forbidden territory. Maybe threatening Yuji by dangling your father over his head hadn’t been the best idea. Going back home and curling up in your warm bed suddenly seemed a lot more appealing. But Gojo Satoru had asked for this, and as his little sister, you were going to push it further.
The guards at the entrance immediately shot you suspicious looks, their brows furrowed as if asking, What the hell are you doing here? It must have surprised them to see anyone from the Gojo clan walk into this place so boldly.
“Good evening, gentlemen. I hope there’s room for two lovely ladies tonight?” With a sweet tone and an even sweeter smile, you asked the towering guards as if everything was perfectly normal.
“Go home,” one of the guards said, his stern expression unchanging.
“But who stays home on a Friday night, right, Nobara?” Your friend chuckled in agreement.
“If you don’t want the boss to blow your head off, go back where you came from.” The guard’s tone suggested he knew exactly how this would end.
You weren’t leaving. Whatever lie you had to tell to get inside, you’d say it.
“I hate to break it to you, buddy, but your famous boss invited us here tonight.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” The guard on the left stepped toward you angrily, but the other stopped him with an arm and turned to you. “The boss invited you?”
“Yep. Apparently, there’s at least one Gojo he doesn’t hate.” You had no idea what you were saying, but you rolled with it.
The guard stared at you and Nobara for a moment before finally stepping aside. “Tell the bartender inside you’re special guests. They’ll direct you where to go. Enjoy your evening, Miss Gojo.”
Well, that lie had actually worked.
“Thank you, sir.” Hooking your arm through Nobara’s, you hurried inside. The moment you stepped into the club, you realized it was even more hellish than it looked from the outside.
First, it was boiling hot—a relief, given how freezing it had been outside. Second, the place was all black and red. No matter where you looked, there wasn’t a hint of any other color. When you told the bartender what the guard had said, they led you to a quiet lounge upstairs. While the club itself was luxurious, this space was something else entirely. There weren’t many people—just a few men you assumed were businessmen, an actor you’d seen in an action movie, and two women hanging off his arms.
As you sank into the plush leather seats, Nobara turned to you. “I think this place lives up to the hype.”
Leaning back, you replied, “Seems like it. So, where are these infamous sex parties?”
Nobara laughed. “Probably in some hidden area. You know, like in the movies where you go through a secret passage.”
That was likely true. Based on what you’d heard about Sukuna, the man probably designed this place like a maze.
When the waiter arrived with a bottle of champagne and two glasses, he said, “A gift from the boss, Miss Gojo.”
Sukuna knew. Not that you hadn’t expected this. The guards must have informed him the second you walked in. Honestly, you’d assumed they’d tell him when you’d first started lying.
“Please send our thanks to the boss,” you said with a bright smile, taking the glasses the waiter had filled. You handed one to Nobara, and the two of you clinked your glasses before sipping the expensive, delicious champagne.
“Why don’t we finish this and hit the dance floor?” you suggested, the mix of alcohol, music, and the lingering fear of Sukuna making your adrenaline spike.
Nobara grinned, clinking her glass against yours again before downing the rest of her champagne. Then she poured herself another glass.
If you had to guess, the two of you would finish the entire bottle within fifteen minutes.
I guess you were wrong with your predictions because you and Nobara finished that bottle in just ten minutes. You had no idea how you managed it so fast, but you drank it like it was water while talking. Anytime you were with Nobara, there wasn’t a single moment that wasn’t fun. She was one of those people who made time fly without you realizing it.
With the rhythm of the song pulsing through you, you ground your hips against the man behind you, feeling the hardness growing against your back. You weren’t drunk—sure, you’d downed that massive bottle in ten minutes, but it was just champagne. You’d had far heavier nights, and your tolerance was nothing to scoff at.
“You know how to dance,” the man murmured, his lips brushing against your earlobe.
“It’s what I’m best at,” you replied, your tone just as flirtatious.
“I’m sure there’s something you’re even better at,” he whispered, and his hands slowly slid lower, brushing against your hips. You smiled, even though he couldn’t see it.
“Maybe,” you teased.
The truth was, you had no intention of sleeping with this guy. Sure, it would’ve been a great way to stir up even more trouble, but your focus wasn’t on him. It was on the crimson-eyed devil who hadn’t taken his eyes off you from the upper floor.
From the moment you stepped onto the dance floor with Nobara, you felt someone watching you. A few minutes later, when your gaze drifted upward, it wasn’t hard to figure out who it was. Sukuna, leaning casually against the railing with a glass of whiskey in hand, was watching your every move.
Every sway of your hips, every time you brushed your damp hair back, every teasing grind against the men who approached you—he didn’t miss a single second of it.
You wanted to create a scene, but only for him.
There was no denying his handsomeness. Even though you’d never seen him in person before tonight, it was clear he was mesmerizing, even from a distance. As you danced, you realized why your brother had kept you far away from him all these years. If you had ever seen this man before, you, like everyone else, would’ve wanted him to ruin you. Even knowing the danger he posed.
He might just be the only bad boy you’d ever want to destroy you. But calling Sukuna a “boy” was an insult. Ryomen Sukuna was a “man” in every sense of the word.
When your partner’s hands drifted lower, you pressed them down, urging him to squeeze your hips. He didn’t hesitate, gripping you firmly. His lips found your neck, and he sucked hard, marking you. You tilted your head back, letting out a soft moan, all while keeping your gaze locked on Sukuna.
You weren’t sure what you wanted him to see. Maybe it was something like, “Look at me, I’m here, the one person who absolutely shouldn’t be in your territory. And I’m letting someone else touch me in your club,” as if you wanted to make yourself stand out.
It was a childish move. Trying to make someone like Sukuna jealous was a fool’s errand.
But those crimson eyes followed your every motion. You were certain. Even as he took a sip from his glass, he raised it slightly in your direction, as if to say, Enjoy yourself.
You laughed, throwing your head back.
“Like what you see, baby? I can give you more if you want,” the man murmured against your neck.
You barely heard him. Sukuna had disappeared into a black-tinted, private room upstairs, and your focus was entirely on him.
You pushed the man’s hands away and stepped back. Without even looking at him, you said, “See you around,” and made your way toward the room Sukuna had entered.
When you reached the third floor, two guards stood in front of the door. You expected them to stop you, but instead, they said, “Welcome, Miss Gojo,” and stepped aside.
Even in your own territory, you weren’t treated with this level of respect.
Offering a polite “thank you,” you opened the black glass door without hesitation. The room, unsurprisingly, was black. Oddly, there were no hints of red here. Sukuna stood behind his desk, speaking on the phone. Though you couldn’t catch the full conversation, it was something about a delivery. He didn’t turn around, not even to see who had entered.
It was as if he had been expecting you all along.
“Call me when you cross the border tomorrow. If there’s a problem, consider yourself dead, understand?” He ended the call but still didn’t face you. The sound of keys clicking echoed in the room as he typed out a message, his attention still fixed on the screen.
“Well, what a lovely surprise, Miss Gojo.” Finally, he put the phone down and turned to you. His tone was calm, almost warm.
You were still standing by the door, unsure of your next move.
“Looks like the boy on the dance floor didn’t keep you entertained,” he said, clicking his tongue. “Pity. He probably thought he had your full attention, but Little Miss Gojo didn’t care for him at all, did she?”
Finally finding the energy to move, you walked over to the couch in front of his desk. “I don’t like overly grabby men,” you said, sinking into the seat.
“Well, that’s his loss,” Sukuna replied as he sat in his own chair. “I take it the clubs your brother owns don’t amuse you anymore, so you decided to try out Shinjuku’s nightlife instead?”
“Oh, absolutely. Our clubs are, how should I put it… dull. And my brother, as you know, Mr. Sukuna, is a complete buzzkill.”
Sukuna laughed, a genuine, deep laugh. “Gojo Satoru has no idea how to have fun. I’m glad you chose to come here.”
“Thank you. Even as an uninvited guest, you’ve treated my friend and me so well. But seriously, why are your guards so polite? I’ve never been called ‘Miss Gojo’ so many times in my life.” As you crossed one leg over the other, Sukuna’s eyes followed the movement. He watched, unblinking, even after you’d finished.
“My men know how to address people properly, Miss Gojo. And no one would dare speak disrespectfully to you.”
That was… unexpected.
“Why?” you asked, letting your top leg sway slightly as you spoke.
“No one disrespects my special guests, Miss Gojo. If they do, I’ll have to cut their tongues out. And I doubt anyone wants that.”
Ryomen Sukuna would absolutely do it. You were sure of that—and you doubted it would stop at just the tongue.
“You look like a runaway sun,” Sukuna said, leaning back in his chair, eyes never leaving you.
The sudden compliment made you laugh. “Was that supposed to be a compliment?” you managed to say between chuckles.
He smirked. “It was. Being something so hot that it melts everything in its path isn’t easy. Not everyone dares to touch.” Sukuna leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk. “This is where you wanted to be, isn’t it? Rather than getting more riled up by some amateur boy, you came here to play with the greatest danger in the room. You think you can burn me.”
“You said it yourself—I’m the sun. That means I can burn you.”
Sukuna rose from his chair and walked toward you. He leaned over the armrests of your couch, caging you in. You leaned back, but the space between you was negligible.
“Miss Gojo, if there’s anything hotter than the sun, it’s hell. Don’t forget that.”
You didn’t care. You could burn in hell. All you wanted was a touch.
One of Sukuna’s hands trailed up the inside of your thigh, brushing the fabric of your gold dress. “What a beautiful dress. Shame it’s so short—it leaves a lot to the imagination.”
You struggled to keep your thighs from pressing together at his touch. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t stop the subtle trembling of your legs as his fingers traced slow, deliberate patterns against your skin. The soft yet firm caress made resisting impossible.
“Gojo Satoru did well to keep you away from me. But you’re too much of a brat to listen, aren’t you? That’s why you’re here, in my territory.” His hand stopped moving, and this time he squeezed the inside of your thigh, firm enough to send a jolt through you, but not painful—just enough to make you crave more.
“Yes…” Your voice came out as little more than a moan.
“Know this, Miss Gojo: if I’m entertaining you as my special guest, I’ll expect a favor in return.” His hand kneaded your thigh, coaxing another soft sound from your lips.
“W-what kind of favor?”
“You want me to fuck you, don’t you?”
Yes. Yes, you did. You’d wanted it from the moment your eyes met.
“I-I—”
“You wanted it to be me instead of that boy, didn’t you?” He leaned closer, his face hovering near your neck. He didn’t touch, but his eyes lingered on the mark left by the other man. “Should I track him down and kill him? It’s my job to keep my special guest satisfied.”
“Oh…”
“Use your words, Miss Gojo.” The way he called you Miss Gojo made your head spin.
“Yes. I wanted him to be you, Sukuna. I wanted the Evil King to claim me in his territory.”
Though you couldn’t see his face, you heard the low growl rumble from his chest at your words. Before you could say anything more, he easily lifted you with one arm, carrying you to his desk like you weighed nothing at all.
Before you could brace yourself, Sukuna swept everything off the desk with one hand, the clutter crashing to the floor as he pinned you down. The hard surface met your back, and the look in his eyes told you all you needed to know—he had transformed into a ravenous beast, his gaze hungry, predatory.
Your dress was shoved up almost to your waist, and, unsurprisingly, the panties you’d forgotten to wear were nowhere in sight. Your dripping, needy core was now fully exposed to Sukuna’s greedy attention.
When his gaze dropped to your slick heat, his eyes fluttered shut briefly, as if fighting to maintain control.
“I wish I could see how Gojo Satoru loses his mind when he hears about this,” Sukuna muttered, dragging your body closer to the edge of the desk. He yanked your gold dress the rest of the way up, spreading your legs wide to get a clearer view of the spot he clearly intended to devour.
“Fuck…” he murmured, his left hand gripping the inside of your right thigh while his right hand traced over your wet folds. He moved achingly slow, teasing, as though savoring every drop of slickness that coated his fingers. His touch was deliberate, exploring the sensitive walls of your entrance, his movements maddeningly unhurried.
But as much as the teasing ignited your body, you wanted—no, needed—more.
“Sukuna…” Your voice was barely a whisper, trembling with need.
“What is it? You want more?”
You swallowed hard and nodded, unable to find the strength to speak. His fingers moved with such infuriating precision that you were losing yourself.
“If I give you more, there’s no going back. You won’t be able to escape. Are you sure?”
You should’ve run. You should’ve left and never come back. But here you were, in enemy territory, no longer thinking about revenge on your brother. All you could think about was your own desperate need.
“I don’t want to run,” you managed, biting back a moan.
“Fuck,” Sukuna growled under his breath. Taking your response as permission, he leaned in, his mouth claiming the place that needed him most. His large hands spread your legs even wider, giving him complete access as his tongue began its sinful work.
“Su-Sukuna—ohhh,” you whimpered as his head moved between your thighs. His tongue licked you from your folds to your clit, his pace changing between slow, teasing drags and targeted, rapid flicks. Occasionally, he focused on a single spot, making you cry out, his masculine groans vibrating against you as he continued.
You couldn’t describe it. You weren’t someone who slept with men often, but none of them—not a single one—had ever worshiped you like this. The man who should’ve been the last person to ever touch you was devouring you like you were his last meal.
“The forbidden things are always the most delicious,” Sukuna murmured, pressing a wet kiss to your swollen lips. Just before plunging his tongue inside you, he added, “You taste incredible.”
“Oh, God… Sukuna…” you moaned. His tongue worked inside you with practiced precision, each movement sending fresh waves of slickness to coat him.
“Your walls want to keep my tongue inside. I can feel it,” he growled, his voice low and thick with desire. “Fuck, you’re so tight. How’s my cock supposed to fit in here?” His right hand left a sharp smack on your inner thigh before he returned to licking you, unrelenting.
Then he added his fingers. Without warning, two thick digits plunged inside you, curling as his mouth latched onto your clit. The wet, obscene noises his hand created only added to the intensity.
“You made a big mistake making me kneel for you, little brat.” He sucked your clit into his mouth, drawing a desperate, shaky cry from your lips.
“H-how?” you stammered.
“It means you’re never getting away from me,” he said, his fingers moving faster, hitting the perfect spot inside you. The heat between your legs became unbearable, and you knew you were close.
“You’re so filthy. Look what you’re doing to my fingers,” he teased, driving them deeper. “When I pull them out, I swear they’ll be wrinkled from your juices.” His lips returned to your clit, sucking hard while his fingers pumped relentlessly.
“D-don’t stop… I’m so close—UGH I’M GONNA CUM S-SUKUNA!” The tension in your body coiled tighter, seconds from snapping.
“Fuck no,” he growled, suddenly pulling his fingers and mouth away. Just as your release hovered on the edge, Sukuna stood and unzipped his black slacks, pulling them down along with his boxers.
Your breath caught. There was no way that was real. The massive, throbbing cock he held in his hand couldn’t possibly be human.
“Are you ready for my cock, Miss Gojo?” His voice was a low, primal growl.
You weren’t. Not even close. You had no idea how it would fit.
He brought his cock closer to your entrance, teasing you by sliding the tip along your soaked entrance . He let out a moan as the wet heat of your pussy coated him. You could feel the precum leaking from his tip mixing with your own arousal.
“This—this is torture. Please…” You were barely coherent, but you couldn’t take the teasing anymore. You needed him.
“What? Say what you want, Miss Gojo,” Sukuna taunted, his cock brushing lightly against you.
“I-I want you. I want your cock inside me,” you begged, your words tumbling out in desperation.
Sukuna chuckled darkly. “You can’t even form a proper sentence. All you can think about is my cock, isn’t that right?”
“Y-yes,” you stammered, your voice trembling.
“Then take it,” he growled before slamming into you in one swift motion.
Your entire body arched off the desk as you cried out. He didn’t ease in, didn’t give you time to adjust. He buried himself to the hilt, filling you completely. Wrapping your legs around his waist, your heels dug into his lower back, earning a low groan from him.
“Every time I thrust into you, I want those heels to dig in. Do you understand me?” His voice was a harsh command.
“Y-yes,” you gasped.
“Good. Seems the only time you behave is when someone’s fucking you.” Sukuna began moving, his hips slamming into yours with unrelenting force.
He was too big, stretching you so wide it felt like he was splitting you open. Every thrust pushed you to your limits, his thick cock hitting places you didn’t know existed.
“Do you hear that, Miss Gojo?” He was referring to the sound of his hips slamming against yours, the wet smacks of his length plunging into you. “That’s real music.”
“You’re—you’re insane, Sukuna. F-fuck, right there—” His tip hit the perfect spot inside you, making your toes curl.
“Here?” he taunted. “Take it all, Miss Gojo. Be a good girl and take everything I give you.” Your legs trembled as your heels dug harder into him, pulling him closer, making his thrusts even deeper.
Provoking a beast like Sukuna was a terrible idea. Yes, he was driving you wild with pleasure, but you knew that after tonight, no one else would ever compare. No one would ever fuck you like this, hitting your G-spot with every thrust, coaxing more of your juices out with every motion.
Sukuna Ryomen was about to become your addiction.
“I should kill Gojo Satoru for keeping me from this for so long—fuck—for keeping you from me,” Sukuna growled, his cock continuing to batter your sweet spot. “I fucking hate that man.”
Even fully clothed, beads of sweat ran down from his abs to your thighs, dampening the space between your bodies. His head tipped back, his hands gripping your legs tightly as if he never wanted to let go.
“Know this, Miss G-Gojo,” he growled, his words rough as your silken walls squeezed tighter around his thick, veined cock. “From this moment on, you’re mine—ughhh.”
"Sukuna—just a little more, please—so close—"
"Say you’re mine," he demanded, leaning closer to pound into you harder. Though his hands released your legs, you still clung to him, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him even closer.
His thrusts grew deeper, each movement dragging along every sensitive spot inside you, making you shiver. With his lips brushing your ear, you whispered, your voice trembling with surrender, “I-I’m yours, Sukuna.”
“Fuck, yes! You’re mine. Get that through your head!” he roared into your neck, burying himself deeper.
“SUKUNA, IT’S TOO DEEP—I’M GONNA CUM!” your screams echoed through the room as your legs spasmed, and the sharp heels of your shoes dug further into his flesh.
“Don’t hold back on me, Miss Gojo,” Sukuna growled as he bit your neck, sending you over the edge into a shattering orgasm.
Your juices dripped onto his black wooden table while his hot seed filled you to the brim. The feeling of his warmth pumping inside you only reignited the arousal coursing through your veins.
Still buried deep within you, Sukuna pressed a soft kiss to the bite mark he’d left. As you worried about how you’d hide it from your brother, Sukuna’s words snapped you back to reality “Tell that idiot brother of yours you’re mine now. And if he behaves, I might even let him step foot in my territory.”
Your eyes widened. “W-wait, this wasn’t just a one-time thing?” No matter how much you had told him you belonged to him, you had only said it under the heat of lust. You had never truly considered that Sukuna might actually want to claim you.
Sukuna raised his head from your neck, his hungry, feral gaze pinning you in place as he braced himself above you. “Sunday. My house. I’ll fuck you against every wall until your marks are all over them.”
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.
You should’ve stayed home today, listened to your brother. Or, when you stepped into this office, you should’ve run as fast as you could. Anything to avoid this.
But the beast had already claimed you.
all rights belong to the @moonlitwitchdaisy do not copy, reproduce, or translate my work.
art by @Crain1Art on X
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna oneshot#jjk oneshot#mafia boss sukuna#jjk sukuna#sukuna fic#sukuna ryoumen x you
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So I'm going to ask an honest question here and ask you please explain in layman's terms. Every trans person I know irl has no concept of the transandrophobia discourse but every time I see more of it online I'm...unsettled, and it takes a lot to power through all the terminology.
I initially was really receptive to transandrophobia because the rationale behind being against it sounded stupid and akin to label discourse in the queer community. I saw "being a man is not an axis of oppression therefore you don't get your Own Word" and thought that was pedantic nonsense, that language doesn't need to adhere to that rule, and that it's helpful to have a term designated towards transmasculine experiences so people can find those experiences easier. Not that trans women's experiences aren't also beneficial! But that, well, obviously no matter how similar the experience birds of a feather and that sense of comfort of sharing identity still matters. This is true for other issues of identity too, I find, weather that's a good thing or a bad thing idk, but it is human.
The thing is I follow a lot of transwomen and have been seeing some alarms being raised about the community being formed around this word. You blocked one of the most egregious offenders so I trust you (which is why I'm asking sorry) I've seen a lot of misogyny and essentialism from people using the term "transandrophobia" and more egregiously "transmisandry." Idk your opinion on the latter term (I haven't scrolled down far enough on your blog, sorry if you talked about this before) but to me it's unconscionable. I was taught that transandrophobia existed as a term specifically NOT to use that term, that elevating misandry to a legitimate issue was dangerous for obvious reasons and it was one of the reasons why I was so supportive of transandrophobia. To me, it seemed like an awareness that misogyny was the prevailing issue behind all issues of gender oppression, but when I actually look at the tag I...get uncomfortable.
Blogs I follow have repeatedly been upset at misogyny from this community, and have been using the term "transandrobro" to describe behavior they find akin to cis MRAs. I've truly seen horrible things with hundreds, sometimes thousands of notes to it that do, unfortunately, feel like women are being blamed for the plight of trans men. I've seen cis people say they were originally on MRA reddits and then came to tumblr to "confront the misandry directly" only to wholeheartedly adopt transandrophobia into their worldview. It's hard because I KNOW I shouldn't judge a community based on a few crazies but it truly does feel sometimes like "transandrophobia" gives misogynists a venue to air their woman-hating to an eager audience, kinda like how "Karen" has been co-opted beyond the og meaning of being for racist white woman to any woman being mildly rude.
So like, here it is: can transandrophobia exist without being co-opted by misogynists? Is there a threshold of proliferation for misogynists destroying this word until a new one needs to be made? Or will every word trying to identify the transmasculine experience be inevitably co-opted by misogynists because misogynists are just that powerful, so people should double down harder on the word and work to push misogynists out?
(Also am I going crazy, or did this word a year ago used to have a WAY better community than the one I see nowadays. Back then I could find your blog and really compassionate people easily, and now it's just...bad.)
It is a little hard to understand some of this post but I will do my best to answer what I think is being asked.
To put simply, I think the reason why it was better a year or two ago is because the majority of the people who were actually trying to further the conversation and not just circle jerk in the echo chamber got chased off. Transandrophobia, anti-transmasculinity, transandromisia, transmascphobia... the guys who coined these are largely either not posting at all anymore or post far far less than they used to. They were harassed and the constant exposure to transphobia made them shut down their blogs for their own mental health. Not all of them, but a lot of the so-called "big names" had this happen.
Even I stopped posting for a while and shuttered the doors for a bit outside of a long queue of dog photos because of how much it was affecting my mental health.
In their place remain people who are not committed to the same conversation. Perhaps they are younger, or less familiar with the building blocks of theory that really should be required reading, or are still stuck in their "everything sucks and it's YOUR fault" phase. Maybe they do come from different places, like 4chan or reddit, which are less prone to this sort of discussion. A lot of the original crowd had been on tumblr long enough to remember when we could still edit posts, and I keep seeing people who would have been in elementary school at that time posting to the tag nowadays.
I was discussing this problem on discord with a small group of friends and one of them- a trans fem- called it second wave transandrophobia discourse as a bitter joke. I think she is more right than wrong, regardless.
I'm not sure who you believe I've blocked- in general I don't air out who I block on this blog because at nearly 12k followers there are too many people who would love to dogpile someone for the sin of disagreeing with me and I do my best to prevent that. I don't want anyone to be harassed, after all. There's a lot of assumptions that have been made about my block and follow behavior that vary from "hilarious but untrue" to "outright offensive slander".
People are people, and some people are shitheads. Trans mascs and people who want to support trans mascs are not exempt from that. I say this all the time- Kayne West is objectively a shitty person but his existence doesn't prove the concept of antiblackness to be a myth. Caitlyn Jenner is objectively a shitty person but her existence doesn't prove the concept of transmisogyny to be a myth. So why do shitty trans mascs prove our own theory to be dangerous or nonexistent? Why hold us to a higher standard than any other marginalized group?
I could ask you the same question- there are posts on here with hundreds, sometimes thousands, of notes made by trans fems and cis women who blame their problems with transmisogyny on trans mascs. There are people coming from reddit, Twitter, 4chan who are being actively transphobic and misogynistic and claiming they're doing it for the good of transfeminism. There are posts filled with misogyny and bioessentialism and gender essentialism and even interphobia and racism and transphobia being left completely unchecked. Do you think it would be acceptable for me to ask if that means transmisogyny theory should be abandoned or if we should just accept that it will draw people with bad intentions?
Or do you think the better answer is to focus instead on finding those with a good head on their shoulders, and making sure it's them who has their voice heard? Do you think we should maybe not judge entire demographics because there exists some shitty people who claim the same identity?
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team movie night and they all tease pazzi for being cuddly and flirty
she knew
warnings: smut!!!
an: LONGER ONE. not as good as i hoped. but let me know what you think and give me some more requests. more small blurbs coming either today or tomorrow!!
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todays a movie night. my favorite. i love movie nights. but something about this one just isn't hitting the same. i'm kinda nervous, my breathings just a little bit off, and i can't seem to get comfortable. me and paige are on a small couch by ourselves while everyone else is scattered across the room. the movie isn't very scary but it's a thriller action movie. i cant sleep after watching those. i hate guns, every time a gun goes off it takes everything in me not to flinch. paige notices, of course she does, she's my best friend how could she not.
"az, you okay? not comfy?" she asks quietly a hand placed on my arm stopping me from changing my position for the hundredth time.
"mhm, m'fine." i yawn and meet paige's eyes, even in the dark the crystal blue of her eyes is showing.
"what times it?" i ask watching her pull out her phone and show it to me. 10:00, late for me.
"late for you isn't it?" she teases making me shake my head. she'd always known me better than anyone else. god she was so perfect every single thing about her was undeniably perfect.
"i don't like this movie." i whisper making a face when another gunshot goes off. paige know, of course, we have movie nights just the two of us all the time and she knows when it's before i go to bed, it needs to be a cute romcom or cartoon or something. and she always agrees.
"i know, you know what come here." she positions herself to sit sideways with her back against the arm rest opening up her legs for me to lay between them on her stomach. i give her a look almost asking if she's sure before curling up on her stomach. my hand flattens against the soft skin exposed by her shirt riding up and i move i to her side rubbing my thumb across her skin. i'd always had this nervous habit whenever i was anxious to rub my thumb across someone's thumbnail it always helped me calm down.
"nervous?" paige asks as she gives me her hand. i nod and start to gently rub my thumb across her nail. of course she knew, she knew everything about me. i'd always wondered, what if we were more than friends. i'd always wished we were. before i can close my eyes to really relax kk decides she has other plans.
"aww azzi sleepy!" she coos as she walks over to take a picture of us. i groan and place my hands on paige's stomach to slide myself up hiding my face between her neck and the couch. paige's hand holds my head close to her while her other slips against my bare back under my t shirt.
"kk, come on it's late. leave her alone." paige groans at kk and it just causes kk to scoff. and turns to ice.
"bro look at them." she grins as she points to us. i just huff against paige's neck.
"kk please. she's tired." i smile against her skin as she stands up for me. it's cute i admit. kk sulks away and slumps back down causing me to ease out of her shoulder a little. i place my head on her chest but of course our position isn't quite perfect. her thigh is between my legs. i know she can feel the heat radiating off of me when she quickly jerks her leg away from mine. fuck. that's embarrassing.
"az?" she asks almost asking for some sort of signal i know what she's gonna ask. her eyes are wide and almost desperate. fuck. she had me wrapped around her finger.
"yeah?" i whisper in a soft voice my chin resting against her chest. i didn't realize just how close our faces, our lips were until she started talking and i felt her breath on my lips.
"how you feelin?" the second her breath is on my lips a shiver runs through me and my hand slips under her shirt again making her let out a soft whine. i'd never heard her make that sound before. if flipped a switch in me. im gonna make her make a whole lot more sounds than that.
"paigey can we go to bed?" i give her big puppy eyes but she can see the hint of possessiveness underneath them as my hand drifts further up her bare stomach. she lets out a small nod. i've never seen her like this, she was always in control always loud and cocky. i didn't know i could get her so submissive like this. i press a soft kiss against her jawline before getting up and stretching.
"paige and i are going to bed." i groan tiredly as i walk past everyone and into paige's bedroom with paige following right behind me. the second we're alone her hands slip around my waist from behind maneuvering around me to push me against the door. her hand splayed out over my stomach.
"az." she whispers as her lips ghost my ear. there she was. cocky dominant paige was back. but when i had a mission, it was gonna be done.
"lay down." i hiss moving my head to the side leaning it against the back of the door.
"such a princess." she whispers not moving an inch. her teeth graze my ear nipping at my lobe gently.
"my princess." she pulls away to look me in the eye her thumb brushing my bottom lip. she thought she had the upper hand. and after that nickname, she just might.
"fuck." my head leans back as i close my eyes. before i know it her thighs slipped between my legs, her hand is on my neck, and her lips are on mine. so many thoughts were running through my head but they were all over powered by her. her. paige. my paige. before i can think her tongue slips in her mouth and her hand moves to the back of my neck to deepen the kiss as much as she can. i subconsciously move my hips against her, grinding against her leg.
"fuck az." she whispers against my lips as she fumbles her hands form to the hem of my shirt.
"imma take this off m'kay princess?" she knows what that nickname does to me already. i close my eyes with a nod lifting my arms up so she can slip it off her fingers slipping under the band of my sports bra.
"wanna get you paige. please." my last ditch attempt at trying to take control. i wanted to get her right so bad. something flipped in her eyes when she heard my voice.
"do you?" she whispers as her fingers dip into the waistband of my pants over the fabric of my panties. it's almost like she's gonna let me, but her actions say otherwise.
"i'll let you." she whispers huskily as she pulls off of me and throws her shirt off and across the room.
"whatever you want princess." my hands are on her jaw and my mouth is on hers within seconds pushing her towards the bed.
"get on the bed." i push her gently not enough to make her fall but enough to give her the hint. she falls submissive under my touch laying on the bed with her legs spread just a little.
"so perfect." i whisper slipping her basketball shorts off to leave her in boxers.
"gonna get you so right." my voice soft as i trail kisses down her stomach. i fucking love her abs and she knows it. she bucks her hips up just a little signaling to me.
"az." she begs her voice almost panting as i slip her boxers down.
"i'll be good. wont make you wait." my lips press a soft kiss against her bare clit before leaning back up to kiss her.
"tell me what you want." i press my lips to hers as. wait for an answer.
"fingers, mouth, you azzi, want you." her words send a jolt through me. my fingers slip through her dripping wet folds as i connect my mouth back to her clit.
"s'wet for me huh baby." i grin into her my fingers just slipping into her curling into her as i lick her skin softly. she lets out a gasp as i move my fingers in and out. she's wiggling underneath me within seconds.
"fuck az. so fuckin perfect for me." i hum against her lettin out vibrations against her. the soft whines coming out of her mouth make me crazy. i feel her closing around me and i meet her lips with mine.
"you close?" i ask softly, she was such a gentle person why not return the favor. she doesn't even talk she just nods and squirms under me.
"s'okay i gotchu. come on let go for me." the second i give her the go ahead her band snaps and she's letting herself go all over my fingers. it's beautiful.
"so beautiful paige. oh my god." my hands come up to my mouth as i lick them clean, making pure eye contact with her the whole time. i feel her eyes widen. my hands find her cheeks as i rub my thumbs against them softly. she lets out a soft smile but as soon as i'm about to speak she's ontop of me ripping my panties off before i can even speak.
"gotchu." she grins placing kisses along the inside of my thighs. before her tongue slips through my dripping wetness. i'd already been fucking dropping for her. the second her nose pushes into my clit her tongue dips into me. my hand flies to her head holding her as close to me as i can.
"fuck paige- cant wait." i whisper, she knew. she always knew, even if we'd never done this before she knew. she grinned against me before fucking her tongue into me faster.
"s'okay princess. whenever you're ready." there it goes. the name princess fucking did something to me i couldn't imagine. it was dirty, everyone called me princess but with paige it was different, everything was. there i was gushing against her tongue. she licked up every drop before laying on my chest.
"so fuckin perfect." she whispers and we just lay in silence for a while taking in eachothers embrace.
"paige." i whisper a few minuets later. she looks up at me with her big blue eyes.
"i love you." i whisper, it wasn't like we'd always said it. it was different. she knew it. as always.
"i've loved you for years az." her lips brush my jawline in a sweet slow manner.
"just waiting to make you mine." i bring her lips to mine. i didn't know what to do. but she did. she knew.
"always gonna be yours" she whispered, all the words i needed. i smiled against her lips.
"always yours paige." and that was the start of something new. but was it really new when it was paige and i. no. because she knew me. more than anyone else. she knew.
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I'm having a shit day, I need Quinn to fix it
Please and thanks
Rain, rain, go away, come again...when you didn't have a hundred errands to run and were short on time to do them. Naturally, it would pour the entire time you were out and about, and your umbrella had decided to break the first time you went to use it. It really set the tone for the rest of the day; a terrible foreshadowing you had hoped wouldn't be the case.
The only reason you were out running those errands in the first place was because you had taken the day off to make sure everything was nice for when Quinn got back home. You knew he was going to be exhausted after finishing another six straight games on the road. Plus, you wanted to enjoy the evening with him knowing nothing would be looming in the back of your mind that would take away from your time together. However, since the minute you got up it was like everything was stacked against you. You had slept through your alarm, getting up almost two hours later than you had intended. You thought you had plugged in your phone but hadn't make a proper connection so your battery was at 12% to start the day. And to add insult to injury (literally), you had dropped a glass while in the kitchen and had cut your hand while trying to pick up the pieces.
Today was proving to be one of those days that were best spent at home, but unfortunately, that wouldn't be the case for you. By this point, your phone was now sitting at 6%, because you realized, after you had left the parking garage, that the charger you left in your car was in Quinn's. You just hoped it would hold on long enough to get you home.
You would be stopped at a red light, mid rush hour, when a message would ding in. It was Quinn and the dreaded text you didn't want to come across your phone until you were already back at his apartment.
"Hey baby, we just touched down. I'll see you soon. I love you."
"I might not be there when you get home. Stuck in traffic. </3 I love you, too. <3 <3 Also, phone is about dead. >:("
"Just be careful. I've missed you."
"I've missed you, too."
- - -
Getting everything out of the car had been hard enough, but carrying them with your cut palm was the worst. Being half asleep and dealing with broken glass was not a good combination, something you would note for the future. Sure, you couldn't have texted Quinn to see if he would help you, which you knew he would have, but you were determined to get it done yourself.
When you stepped into the elevator, from the parking garage, all you could think of was "please don't break down. I do not want to walk up the stairs. I do not want to be trapped in an elevator with a dead phone." Thinking it was a bad idea to put such thoughts into the Universe, you'd just count floors instead until you reached Quinn's.
It was a struggle to unlock the door but you had managed though your hand was burning and you were pretty sure you were bleeding again. Just something else that would get tended to later. Once inside, you'd drop everything at the door and Quinn would come from the bedroom to greet you.
"Oh sweetheart, why didn't you tell me you were downstairs? I would have helped you with all of this." He wrapped his arms around you and you melt into his body. "I have missed you so much."
"I'm so glad you're home." All of a sudden and without warning, you begin to cry. Likely a culmination of trash sleep, stress, no food, and pain. Your body and emotions were just fried; not to mention you hated when he was gone for so long.
"What's wrong, baby?" Quinn would say softly, gently tightening his hold on you. "Are you alright?" Anytime you were having a rough day, he was the first person to notice and always did everything he could to make you feel better.
"No," you said, hiding your face in his neck. You weren't ready to have him see how much you were struggling.
"Why don't you go sit, hmm? I'll get this."
"I wanted to have everything done for you but today has been awful."
Quinn pulls away from you just enough to tip your chin up towards his face. You can't escape him now and the look on your face makes his puppy eyes heavy with emotion. "Oh, baby~"
He kisses you several times, each one of them sweeter than the last, yet the tears still continue to fall from your cheeks. "Come on, this stuff can wait."
Taking your non-bandaged hand, he ushers you to the sofa where he insists you sit in his lap so you can be as close to him as possible. You loved moments like these just on better circumstances than today had given you.
"Baby, you're bleeding. What happened?"
You had reached up to brush some hair from your eyes when he caught sight of the bandage now tinged bright red in the center. You dropped your hand to your leg and shook your head. "It's nothing. Just a clumsy accident."
"Let me see."
You refuse, sniffling and trying to hold back the welling tears.
"Please?"
Damn those eyes of his; damn the tone of his voice that just took your breath away. You could never truly tell him no and this was no different. You'd turn your palm upwards when you presented it to him, scared it was worse that you thought it was initially.
"May I look at it?"
You just nod, before laying your head against his shoulder. You didn't want to see it and you knew him pulling back the adhesive of the bandage was going to hurt, even though he had the softest touch.
Quinn was always so careful with you; always asking for permission especially if it would potentially cause you pain. Slowly he'd remove the bandage and you would wince against the discomfort even though he did everything he could to make it easy on you. "How did this happen?"
Quinn's tone conveyed deep worry and hurt and that didn't give you the reassurance you were hoping for.
"This morning. I got up late, and was half asleep taking my vitamins and I guess my hand just stopped working and I dropped it. It shattered everywhere. I didn't realize I had grabbed the raw edge until it was too late and I cut myself."
"Oh sweetheart," Quinn whispered laying his head against yours. "Want me to fix you up?"
"I'll get it."
"Please?"
Twice now, he had used that word with (that) tone, and twice now you would fold without another chance to resist. Again, you would silently nod, letting him slip out from under you while he disappeared into the bathroom for a few moments. You remembered how you had left it and it made you feel worse, but when he returned, the only thing that mattered to him was making sure you were alright.
"You said today was awful, how come?" He talked to you while he worked so to keep you from focusing solely on your hand and the pain. Everything he did was so thoughtful.
"I stayed up too late watching The First 48, then I slept through my alarms this morning, so I was two hours behind. I guess I hadn't clicked my charger into my phone fully so it didn't charge. I dropped the glass. I didn't get the apartment cleaned. I didn't get the laundry put away. I forgot my charger was in your car. My umbrella broke." With each added reason for the bad day it made you more emotional to the point that he had to stop cleaning the cut to lay a hand on your leg and try to calm you.
"Shhh, baby, baby, it's okay. None of that matters now. I didn't expect you to be waiting for me at the door. I'm just glad you're here now, but I'm sorry you had such a hard day. The apartment is fine, please, don't worry about it."
"But...I left the bathroom~"
"I don't care about it. Honest. I want you to feel welcome here; I want it to be your home. Home should feel lived in." Quinn leaned forward to kiss you yet you frown. You still felt so bad for everything not being done like you wanted it to be. "If you're here, that's all I want."
"You're so nice," you squeak out, hiding your face with your free hand. You don't realize you were breaking his heart, feeling so bad about missing your self-imposed marks.
"Sweetheart, will you look at me, please?"
Dropping your hand, you let your eyes be exposed though you keep it pressed to your lips.
"You're the only thing I care about when I'm here. If you're okay, I'm okay."
"But I'm not okay."
"And I'm not either. May I finish this for you?" His smile was so sweet, so heartfelt as he held your injured hand in both of his. When you answered "yes, please" Quinn brought it to his lips before finishing what he had started. With each new step of the process, he'd check in with you before continuing. He didn't feel that you had any glass in the wound or that you needed stitches, but he didn't want you to do too much the next few days.
"Alright, babe, all done."
"Thank you."
"Of course. Anything for you," his smile continues. "How about you go change your clothes, get into something comfortable and we'll have a lazy evening in bed. I'll get the groceries put away and we'll order take out. How's that?"
"Do you want some help?"
"No babe, I can get it. It won't take me that long, but thank you. I'll meet you in there, okay?"
"Okay." You give him a kiss as a thank you, later apologizing for your mild breakdown earlier.
"It's alright. You're only human, sweetheart and you had a bad day. I can't say I'd do much better. I'd never judge you for anything like that," Quinn replies, holding your face for another kiss. "I promise."
#so sorry you're having a bad day - anon#I hope this helps a little#quinn hughes#quinn hughes imagine#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes fic#quinn hughes one shot#quinn hughes fanfiction#hockey fic#hockey fanfiction#hockey oneshot#hockey imagine#nhl imagine#nhl one shot#nhl fic#nhl fanfiction
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I thought of this and had to share it for TWIG. George is away at a race and you are home with the kids. The night before the race, George calls you for phone sex but you know you have to be quiet otherwise the kids will wake up
↳ A/N Thank you for this, anon! You only sent this last night but it really inspired me and I was feeling kind of down and really needed a simple, easy, lighthearted thing to write to get my mind off the craziness of life. This was perfect <3
↳ Pairings: George Russell x Fem!Reader (NO use of y/n)
↳ Word Count: 2.1k
↳ Warnings: 18+, smut, phone sex, male masturbation, dirty talk, unedited
“This triple header is brutal.”
George’s voice was tired through the phone. You could tell he was trying to hide it but you knew him well enough by then; the languidness of his syllables, drawing them out just a little more, the sparkle dulled in his tone.
Sitting on your side of your shared bed with an ocean between you, you held your phone to your ear with a melancholy smile. Your husband’s voice always warmed your heart but when he was more downtrodden, it was hard to fully feel it.
“I know.” you replied gently, your book laying open and forgotten on your lap, “They really work you and the team to the bone with those.”
“Not just that,” George sighed, “I miss you…the kids. I hate not being able to fly home between races.”
You rested your head back against the headboard with a fond smile at his sweet confession, “Aw, my love. We miss you too.”
“I really miss you.” he pressed.
Your fingers absentmindedly traced the edge of your open novel spread across your thighs as his familiar voice caused your heart to flutter. Your gaze was focused on the wall across from your bed where the dresser sat, a few of his things dotted along the surface, some spaces empty with things he had brought with him for three weeks away. With a softly playful tone, you asked, “How much?”
There was a pause through the line and then George chuckled warmly, replying with a cheeky, “What are you wearing?”
“Oh—” you scrunched your eyes closed with a gentle laugh, “You’re terrible.”
“What?” George laughed in return through the phone, “I’m serious.”
You looked down at yourself in your t-shirt and faded pyjama shorts, “Nothing sexy, I’ll tell you that.”
“You’re always sexy.” George countered with ease like he had been telling you that all his life. He pressed a little harder, “Come on. Fess up.”
“I’m wearing one of your old Mercedes team shirts from 2024.” you told him, picking at the logo of one of the now-bankrupt sponsors that had started to flake off after years and years of wash. A piece of the print fluttered down onto your open book on your lap. You added, “And some ancient pyjama shorts.”
“Ooh, the blue and grey striped shorts?”
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
George hummed in approval, “Those are nice. Make your bum look extra good.”
“What is with you?” you laughed breathily, shaking your head a little at the obvious intention behind his responses.
“What?” he protested, his voice raising a half-octave in defence, “I miss my wife and I want to flirt with her.”
You closed your book with your free hand and set it aside on your nightstand to give him your full attention. Your knees pulled up a little, tenting the duvet you were sitting under, and you teased him knowingly, “Your hand isn’t doing it for you anymore?”
George inhaled sharply, “Now who’s being forward?”
“Am I wrong?”
There was a pause and then a defeated sigh, followed by a one-word answer in which you could hear his playful smirk, “No.”
“Besides, tomorrow’s Sunday and you always liked to have a pre-race orgasm.” you stated knowingly, “Knocks you out like a light. Guaranteed good night’s sleep.”
“Yeah, yeah, you know me better than anyone.” George retorted in a feigned mocking tone.
There was a pause again. You could faintly hear the sound of his breathing. You nibbled at your bottom lip as if to physically try and switch your mindset from your calm relaxing night-in to having phone sex with your husband. Through the phone, you could hear the rustling of sheets as he shifted.
“I can’t go crazy with it,” you warned softly, “the kids are asleep and you know how thin these walls are.”
“That’s okay.” George’s voice was just as quiet, as if he had any reason to whisper on his side of the world, “I’ll take anything. Even just hearing your voice.”
“Okay then…want me to read you the grocery list?”
He let out a strained sigh, “Sweetheart.”
“Okay, okay.” you chuckled.
You could picture his pleading pout in your mind, the scrunch of his eyes, the tilt of his head. Deep inside you, your stomach stirred. You wondered if he was naked in the hotel room bed at that moment.
The pause wasn’t doing any favours for your poor husband who was impatiently waiting through the line. George pleaded with you in that sweet voice that somehow always wore you down, “Please, my love, I’m already so hard.”
Your eyebrows raised, “Already?”
George’s shy chuckle melted into a soft groan of a confession, “I’ve been trying to have a bit of a wank for almost an hour now but my brain keeps thinking of strategies and tyre management and I keep going soft.”
You swallowed back a joke about soft versus hard tyre compounds for the sake of not making him suffer any longer. Instead, you got yourself comfortable in your strikingly empty shared bed and adjusted your grip on your phone against your ear. You comforted him lovingly, “My poor love. Where are you? In bed?”
“Yeah,” George’s breath was shallow. Through the phone you could faintly hear the pop of the lid of a plastic bottle opening. It didn’t take much sleuthing to figure it was lube.
“And you’re hard…again.” you continued, “And missing me.”
“Yeah,” his voice was a little softer, the word drawn out a little longer than previous.
“Missing what part of me?” you asked.
George hummed lowly, “All of you, love, you know that.”
“My mouth?” you taunted, letting a moment for your two words to settle before adding, “My pussy?”
The tight inhale of breath through the line was answer enough.
“Yeah? That’s what you want, don’t you?” you whispered to him, “Want to be buried nice and deep inside me…right where you belong. Isn’t that right?”
“Yeah…” George nearly purred.
The sound of his voice alone was enough to make your insides burn and your thighs clenched together a little tighter. You could faintly hear the slick sound of his hand stroking his lubed up cock through the phone, keeping to a slow languid pace as you eased him into the wonderful pictures your words could paint. His every soft breath had you shivering, feeling his need through the phone and, almost, the heat of his familiar breath against your skin.
“Just want me squeezing around you so tight?” you continued.
“Yeah…so warm.” George slurred out.
“So tight and warm and all yours. All yours to stretch out and fill up.”
“Baby.” George moaned, elongating the vowels.
You knew not to stop, you knew just how much he loved your endless stream of consciousness, how your words didn’t hold back when you got in that right mindset. He loved your voice and every thought that spilled from it.
“What I wouldn’t give to be in that hotel room with you right now…in that bed with you…just bouncing on your gorgeous dick.”
George’s breath caught a little. You could hear his hand speed up.
He let out a shaky, “Mm, please keep going.”
“And you can hold my hips and move me how you want…”
“Mhm…”
“And you could just feel how wet I am for you…leaking all over you…”
“Fuck—” George choked out, almost a sob, as if he were vividly picturing everything you were saying. In a barely there breath, he added, “Please—”
You shifted in bed a little as the sounds of him getting himself off through the phone went right between your legs. With your children sleeping just down the hall, you couldn’t stomach the idea of sharing in his pleasure just in case they heard you; it was always easier to be convinced when George was there in person. When it was just you, all alone in your bedroom, your nervousness out-powered your desire. That was okay; you were perfectly content just helping him out anyway.
“You sound so good, baby.” you breathed, your ears perked to his every small moan or groan or gasp. “Keep moaning for me…you know I like it when you’re vocal.”
George swallowed thickly, his words strained and drunken, “Yeah…feels so good…”
“Would feel better with my hands all over you, wouldn’t it? Kissing your neck…pulling your hair…”
The shaky moan he replied with was erotic, sending your heart racing and your thighs clenching.
“Yeah, I know, you love that.” your voice was low and languid, dragging on your words in a way that had him soaking in everything you were saying, “Letting me pull on the ends of your hair while I fuck myself on your lap…on your perfect fucking dick.”
George’s breathing was getting heavier through the phone, almost as if he was so in his head that he forgot you weren’t even there with him. The steady slick rhythm of his hand on himself was hypnotizing to you, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth, knowing exactly what he must have looked like alone in that empty hotel room half-way across the world. It was a sight you had seen more times than you could count but one that always had that unmistakable warmth pooling in the depths of your belly.
George writhed, his voice strained and urgent, “Don’t stop. Please, keep talking. Please.”
“I can tell you're close…listen to those pretty sounds you’re making.” you purred, rambling anything that came to mind, “I’d be all over you if I was there…I’m sure you’d have already made me come twice over by now…making me come all over your cock just squeezing around it and soaking it.”
George’s breath caught. You heard his hand speed up a little more.
“Yeah? That’s what you want?” you pressed on, “Wanna feel how hard you can make me come? Knowing you’re the only one who can do that to me? That I’m all yours? Absolutely wrecking me and still making me want more and more and more of you?”
“Yeah.” George moaned, “Fuck, I’m so close, baby, please—”
You always knew exactly what he wanted to hear, speaking to him with ease of your trust and familiarity, “You wanna come inside me? Wanna put a baby in me?”
George choked out your name in the handsomest groan.
“Yeah? I know you’re so close; bet you’re just throbbing. You gonna give me what I want? Gonna give me all your cum as deep as you can?”
“Uh huh—”
“Uh huh? Yeah, you are. That’s it.” you encouraged, your free hand dropping beneath the bedsheets around your middle to rub over your clothed pussy. You could feel your wetness already seeping through your panties and your shorts, your cunt only throbbing more beneath your fingers at the sounds of his strained breaths and soft moans as he drew closer and closer. “Come on, gorgeous. Gimme it. Come for me.”
After years together, you didn’t have to be in the room with him to know exactly when he came. Your ears easily picked up on the hitch of his breath that was laced in with the prettiest whimper (something that he was always a little self-conscious about, but something you loved most) before letting it out a second later with a wavering moan and another and another, falling into those long-awaited waves of pleasure.
“There you go,” you cooed softly, “That’s so good. Give me every last drop.”
“Yeah…” George panted, “Yeah, fuck, that’s…it.”
“Good?” you chuckled through the phone as his build up eased into silence of nothing but his breaths.
“Yeah. Perfect. You’re perfect.” he whispered dreamily, “Thank you.”
“Anything for you,” you reminded him sweetly, before following it up with a casual, “But you owe me when you get home.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.” George chuckled, his tone clearly worn out, “I would have done so anyway, even without you asking.”
There was a peaceful pause between you, both of you lost in your thoughts.
“It’s late here.” you finally stated, pulling your phone away to glance at the time before resting it back against your ear, “I should sleep. You know the little guy is going to have me up at the crack of dawn.”
George’s voice was soft and laced with a knowing smile, “Of course. I’ll let you sleep. I have to…clean up anyway.”
You laughed breathily and lolled your head back against the headboard with a dreamy smile at how flushed and gorgeous and messy he must look after all that. But, you knew the conversation needed to be wrapped up so you kept your thoughts to yourself and, instead, reminded him, “We’ll definitely be watching the race tomorrow…even if it means a bit late to bed for the tot. Give us a call after, okay?”
“Always do.” George replied simply, “I love you.”
“I love you.” you echoed with ease.
Another pause as if you both just wanted to hear the sounds of the other breathing for a moment longer.
Finally, George whispered a tender, “Good night, darling.”
“Night, my love.”
And the call disconnected.
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I was in high school in the early 2000s, at an arts high school. A REGIONAL arts program that had students from 4-5 different cities. You want to know how many queer people were out in this regional arts program?
Not. A. Single. One.
There were 3 (?) students that I think we all knew were gay/queer, but not one of them ever said it in the entire time I knew them. One of them literally took another mutual friend to every event the school had, they always joked about how it was completely platonic and they weren’t suited for each other at all, and he still never said the word gay.
There wan’t the queer representation we have now in media, be it music, movies, tv, books, or anything else. (Even when that representation is not perfect!) (Glee didn’t actually start until I was in university? I think? I only watched it if other people were watching it.)
And the students in our arts program — surprisingly progressive for an early 2000s high school — still said and did things that were homophobic and transphobic. And we didn’t do them to be hurtful or harmful, but rather because it was just an accepted part of the vernacular at the time. That doesn’t lessen the harm those things caused, but the intention was never to hurt. We were stupid teenagers doing and saying things we thought were cool.
If Tommy is 40, if they keep him Lou’s age, the most likely choices for popular high school movies at the time would have been American Pie and Dude Where’s My Car. Super bro-y, misogynistic humour, couldn’t mention music or band without hearing “this one time at band camp” jokes (and our school even *had* a band camp every year). If we go with the implication that Tommy always knew he was gay, that really would not have been a safe environment for him and he would have done everything he could have to hide and blend in. If you also use the age of 40, he probably started with the army soon after 9/11 at age 18-19, so he would have gone from that high school environment to the army and DADT. He did what he had to do to survive, and that doesn’t mean those actions and words didn’t hurt other people, but again, the environment we live in today is so different and if you didn’t experience that time, it’s hard to know what it was like.
A lot of the queer people in my friend group didn’t come out until their late 20s/early 30s, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was because we were trying to unlearn that shit too before we could figure ourselves out.
I do think the experiences that we see and hear about from Tommy are ones that resonate with a slightly older crowd; we saw what it was like for people who were out, or who were just different, and if we didn’t wanted to be treated that same way we assimilated. Did it mean we were always kind? To others, or to ourselves? No, of course not. We all said and did shit we regret.
For younger people in the fandom, they might have had high school movie experiences around things like The Perks of Being a Wallflower or Easy A or The Hunger Games, The Fault in our Stars, The Hate U Give, Love Simon, TASM, Lady Bird, Booksmart etc. Not to say these movies, or the movies of the 2010s in general are inherently better, but there was a lot more variety and we were starting to see better messaging from our media.
I think too, as some of the older people in the fandom, we’ve had a long time to think about things and regret them — things I did and said at 16 are now things that happened 2 decades ago, and if you’re only 16, or 20, or even 26, you don’t really have a frame of reference for how much things have changed over 2 decades, or how much you have, because well… you were a baby 2 decades ago. And that’s not a bad thing, but I think it’s hard to realize how much people can change in that amount of time, especially as adults, if you haven’t lived that many years yourself or had that amount of time to change, or the changes you’ve made are going from pre-verbal to verbal. We all have different life experiences and we can’t categorize them as better or worse BECAUSE they’re all different, but if we can’t accept that people live different lives I mean… what are we doing? There are honestly some people in this fandom I would never want to know in person because their opinions are (at this point) that you need to be held to your actions in the past and that people can never change.
I do think people who do bad things and never change should be held accountable. In our little tv world, they’ve really framed Tommy as someone who has changed, and that he and the 118 have overcome his previous shitty behaviour and actions. I mean, the bar scene from Bobby Begins? I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not spending time outside of work with coworkers I don’t like, and ESPECIALLY not in small settings. Like, if Chim and Hen still didn’t like Tommy then, why would he be there? Even at the end of Hen Begins (our first intro to Tommy in the timeline of episodes airing), he and Sal are shaking hands with her and saying she did good work by the end of the episode. And it cuts to them after the Chief says that several coworkers had submitted complaints on her behalf, coworkers PLURAL, so not just Chimney. Storytelling implication is that it’s the coworkers that would speak to her after that meeting.
Anyways! I just resonate with Tommy as a millennial who came out later, who said some shitty things and did some shitty things and probably treated people shittily in the past, but who has also learned and grown and become a better person since then.
You know, as clunky as Josh's Glee speech was, I really think the SPIRIT of it reveals just why Tommy is such a divisive character, and I honestly think it's because Tommy is AT LEAST an "elder millenial" and possibly late Gen X (cause fuck a timeline am I right?) and portrayed pretty accurately to that experience, and a lot of the people who are so rabidly against him are much younger. And they just cannot fathom the world that queer millennials, elder millenials, and Gen X grew up in and had to survive in. Like, the rules were different guys. So, so different.
So yeah, it makes perfect sense to me that Tommy resonated DEEPLY with a lot of older queer people and a lot of younger people just don't understand why he would.
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So.. Sarcastic Chorus has retired from doing Helluvaverse content. This is a huge blow to the series. If you somehow don’t know, Sarcastic Chorus is the Helluvaverse YouTuber. He’s done so many analysis videos, it’s kind of part of his brand in the same way FNAF is associated with MatPat. The fact that Chorus left the shows is crazy, but, honestly, it’s just a testament to how bad this show has been getting.
This is the view count for the first three episodes for seasons 1 and 2
And if you think that’s bad, look at the difference between the season finales for each season
(I know technically Ozzie’s isn’t the season finale, but Queen Bee doesn’t count because of how long it took to come out)
People are tired of the show focusing on the wrong things. I seriously recommend Chorus’s video, it has so many good points. And one point I really want to talk about is Stolas.
I talk a lot about the bad writing in the show in general and how I don’t like Stolas, but I just want to say, I don’t like him anymore. I used to really like his character.. but season 2 completely ruined him for me because they refuse to acknowledge that he has any flaws. Rather than tell “we know Stolitz has flaws on both sides of the relationship, both will work on that,” instead, it’s all just Blitzo. They’ve spent 3 whole episodes just shitting on Blitzo, when… where’s that same treatment for Stolas? Stolas is a classist, racist, rapist. But the show seems to just… forget this. They’re backpedaling so hard, I'm surprised they haven’t fallen off the bike.
I used to find Stolas an interesting character and I was so excited to see where they would take his flaws and mistakes. Like, think about it. Stolas is completely naive, having been sheltered his whole life. The only concept for genuine intimacy he has comes from erotica. Of course he’s going to have a skewed idea of what sex is like when the only sex he’s ever had is with Stella, who, and I quote, “just lays there staring at the wall” where Stella has to do all the work. Ya… that is fucked and a form of sexual abuse, just like what Stolas does to Blitzo. So, I was interested to see where they would take this cycle of abuse that Stolas is so accustomed to and how they were going to have him break it. How was Stolas going to learn his idea of intimacy is wrong?
Well… he doesn’t. Not really. He does realize this transaction is wrong, but, when he tells this all to Blitzo and when Blitzo doesn’t have the reaction he wants, Stolas throws a fucking tantrum. He walks away and refuses to let Blitzo speak, he denies having ever done anything wrong, says that Blitzo was the one who always makes things about sex when that is NOT TRUE. And the worst part? The show treats Stolas like he’s right. They never do anything to show us that Stolas is a hypocrite, instead, like I said earlier, only punishing Blitzo. And don’t even pull the “he was banished” card! Stolas was not being punished for being a neglectful father, or for being an abusive partner. He was being punished… for a heroic sacrifice. He was being banished because Andre doesn’t like him and everyone is mean to Stolas so we have to feel so bad for him, guys!
I just… I started to have my doubts for the show around Full Moon, but I wanted to stick with the show. I liked Apology Tour, but did find it a bit weird that Stolas was being woobied, but I just assumed it was because the next episode, Stolas would be the one receiving the punishing. But the next episode.. WAS ANOTHER HATE ON BLITZO EPISODE. So I told myself, boy I told myself, that the next episode will be focusing on Stolas’s flaws, on Stolas’s part on why this relationship didn’t work. AND THEY DIDN’T FUCKING DO THAT STILL. In fact, Mastermind was just full of Stolas unnecessarily insulting Blitzo, calling him an idiot and whatnot. Like.. GIVE THIS GUY A BREAK, HOLY FUCK. WE GET IT.
This show has gotten so fucking infuriating. Good on Chorus for leaving. Me, personally? I’m going to keep watching, out of curiosity and because I hate myself, but if the show gets anymore infuriating, I may just leave. Because this show is so non-self aware with its black and white writing while it tries so damn hard to have a moral high horse.
So, actually, no. Not ‘fuck Stolas’. Fuck the writers for being so blind to the kinds of behaviors they are endorsing and encouraging with him.
#helluva boss critical#helluva boss criticism#helluva boss critique#helluva critical#helluva criticism#helluva critique#Stolas#stolas goetia#stolas critical#fuck stolas#stolas ars goetia#anti stolas#helluva#helluva boss#helluva boss stolas#helluva stolas#sarcastic chorus
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I have been throughly enjoying your writing, your work scratches an inch I didn't think I had. Absolutely love Armada Starscream, can't wait to see more of TFP Knockout and Starcream. But what got mw the most delighted was seeing Skids, he honestly doesn't get a lot of love and he is my favourite in the MTMTE comics. Thank you so much for creating all these works!
Thank you guys for reading my silly stories
Even If It Kills Me Pt 10
Armada Starscream x Reader
• “Share a meal with us.” Because if he doesn’t ask you won’t, you’ll just linger on the outskirts like you think you don’t belong. Offering you his hand, some of his tension eases when you climb into his palm so he can lower you to the floor where he’s sitting with the mini-cons. As relaxed as you are around the mini-cons, you still act uncertain around him. Hesitant. When you slide out of his hand to sit on the floor, he’s tempted to pick you up and place you on his leg, but resists. While you don’t protest being handled, he’s not sure you actually enjoy it. It must drive home how small you are compared to him. How helpless.
• “Thank you.” Reaching to accept the package of cookies, you realize you’re going to have to explain that wherever he’s thieving food from, he’s going to have to steal real food sooner or later if you’re staying a while. Because what he keeps bringing you is bottled water and junk food. He’s trying, though. Even if you’re almost positive he doesn’t really understand much about humans. “You have to patrol today?”
• Wings fidgeting as you open the package and remove one of the little brown and black speckled discs, he’s almost positive you need more than that to eat. “Of course.” Maybe the food he stole from the kids is unsatisfactory? Neither of you have talked about the nightmare or him singing to you. You joining in. Something about it had felt strangely intimate. Like it’s something that shouldn’t be discussed. There had been an aching loneliness in your voice that had echoed in his own spark, though. That makes him wonder if you’re lonely when he leaves with the mini-cons. You must be. “I could take you for a flight sometime?”
• Blinking at the offer, you look up at him to find Starscream pointedly looking everywhere but at you. Embarrassed? He’d been embarrassed the night before when he’d sang to you, his gruff voice pulling you out of the nightmare. Distracting you. “I’d love that,” you say, wanting to ask him what the song had meant. To translate the words for you, but unsure if it’d be asking too much. You’re already indebted to him far more than you can ever repay. Unintentionally saving you from a life you hated, but were too scared to give up on your own. A life that was going to end up killing you.
• “Good,” he murmurs, wings flicking. Why is it so hard to talk to you? So stilted? When you smile up at him, his spark warms and he loses his train of thought. Just wants to bask in that smile, find all the little things he can do to keep you smiling. Because his servos itch to touch you when you look at him like that. To touch the back of your hand or your hair and that’s not meant for him. Knows that, but still longs for it. Doesn’t want to ever see you look like you had the day he’d found you, defeated and broken.
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If Isagi knew his old teammate had invited him to hang out just to talk shit, he would have thought twice about coming.
"I mean, c'mon dude!" Tada, one of the players from his old team, said "You scored an excuse-me goal like that with pure luck and nothing else!"
"Excuse-me goal...?" Isagi muttered, clearly confused about what his friend meant
"Yeah! You used up all your luck on that one, not gonna lie"
If it had ended like that, Isagi would have still managed to accept it.
People have different views about his plays, so it's okay for him to think it was pure luck. He's probably just too stupid to even understand what Isagi did, even if he explained it to him.
Isagi would be just fine if his teammate didn't say anything else.
If only Tada had stopped there.
"And don't even get me started about your sudden relationship!" He said, smirking at Isagi "(Name), isn't it? Japan U-20's manager who trained the Blue Lock team for a while?" He nudged Yoichi with his shoulder "She's hot, bro. Man, you're just way too lucky! This amount of fortune should be illegal or something!"
Luck? Luck?
Isagi was dumbfounded. He didn't even react to what the guy said.
The beginning of your relationship wasn't based on his luck. If anything, it started because of how unlucky he is.
Because honestly, he doesn't want anyone to know that you two met because he entered the wrong restroom.
The restrooms were still being built in the blue lcok facility and all, so there weren't any signs indicating which was the female's one and which was the male's. Therefore, it was a 50/50 chance of entering the right one. The men's one.
Also, most people on the facility were men. There were basically only 2 girls: you, a manager who had already worked on Japan's U-20 and was just curious about the Blue Lock project, and Anri, Blue Lock's official manager. What was the possibility that he'd enter the wrong bathroom and see any of you two there?
It seemed pretty high, actually.
And he hates this story because not only did he enter the wrong bathroom, he managed to convince you this was the men's one and that the other one was for the women.
Let's just say you both ended up bounding over restroom trauma.
See? It isn't a cute, movie-like love story.
Luck? There was no way he got with you by being lucky. He fought for you.
He was the one who suggested you should be Blue Lock's manager for a short period of time. He was the one who had to build up courage to ask for your phone number after training with you for weeks. He was the one who dedicated the last goal of the match to you, all sweating and smiling.
Luck? Be for fucking real. Isagi knit the threads of fate himself until all he could see in it was your name and face.
But, sometimes, he thought about your relationship deeper. Because if he met you through his mischance, why does it feel so great to have you in his arms?
According to the dicitionary, bad luck is "an unfortunate state that results from unfavorable outcomes". When he looks at you, though, arms stretching towards him, he doesn't see any "unfavorable outcome".
Was it really bad luck, after all? Or was it all his luck dressed up as misfortune?
"Isagi? You good there, man?" Tada asked, waving his hand in front of Isagi's face
Yoichi finally smiled, looking at his former teammate after snapping out of his daydreams.
"You know what? Maybe I am, indeed, very lucky"
You know what they say: unlucky in cards, lucky in love.
But when Yoichi comes home, seeing you in his jersey, cooking for him and watching one of his old games, he can't help but wonder.
Maybe he's lucky in both.
#this is so ooc#it probably doesnt make sense lol#i dont even know if you guys can understand this#i hate this#blue lock#bllk#bllk manga#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock x you#isagi x y/n#yoichi isagi x reader#isagi x reader#blue lock isagi#isagi yoichi#bllk isagi#isagi x you
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Plain text: They run away from moose like girls. they think a sheet of glass is adequate protection from being shot in the face by gang bangers and their recipes include fresh urine. What the hell is up with New Jersey's finest punk metallers? roars: Cardinal Doran. Snapping fingers: Brother Naki. "The Spanish Inquisition: You ask, they squirm" My Chemical Romance.
Why are you guys soooooo cool?? - Thomas, via email
Gerard: "We can answer this question. (Massive pause.) Er, shit. Let me answer this with a question, "Why is Brody Dalle from The Distillers so hot?" (Another massive pause.) I guess we're cool because we're just like Thomas. Unless he's a serial killer or something. We're just the kids who didn't fit in at school and that's how we found each other. We were always on the outside looking in and it depends on whether you think that's cool or not." Hammer: Off stage though and outside of music, who is the coolest, the most goddamn suave when chatting to the ladies? All bar Mikey in unison: "Mikey." Hammer: Is it your uncanny Jarvis Cocker impersonation? Mikey: "Yeah dude, it gets them every time. No it's Bob; the ladies are suckers for his beard." Hammer: They suck his beard? He must have some good lines.
Gerard, have you any plans to do any more artwork for future albums and how much would it cost to get you to play in my front room? - Name taken, via Hammer message board
Gerard: "Yes and 20 bucks." Hammer: I suppose there may be people who don't know that you do all the artwork. Gerard: "I did the art for both of the records. The first one - '1 Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love' - because I didn't want photographic artwork, so we got the picture, photocopied it, put some Ajax on it and put some cellophane on that. It's not actually a digital image like most people think. Then the second album - 'Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge was all done in watercolours and paint. And, yes, I want to do all of our album covers. I don't get chance to do half as much artwork as I'd like." Hammer: Talking of front rooms, what's the smallest gig you've ever played since you've been releasing records? Ray: "We played a basement in Philly in front of five people, a major record label rep and a homeless person." Frank: "The homeless guy had a tape recorder tied on a string round his neck; he bootlegged the gig and then tried to sell it back to us afterwards. It was very enterprising of him."
Have you ever thought of doing a cover? - The Drifter, via Hammer message board
Gerard: "Well we did. We played 'Jack The Ripper', a Morrissey b-side, at the same time the first record was out because we just didn't have enough songs. We did that for years cos we only had five songs and our sets would have been over too quickly." Hammer: We tend to hate it when bands do either exact copies of songs or when they do really obvious songs; what rules do you think apply to cover versions? Ray: "The band you cover have got to be over and done with or at least on their 10th album or whatever." Frank: "Yeah, so like it doesn't matter if it's Aerosmith - not that you should try to do an Aerosmith cover anyway - but how are you going to improve that?" Mikey: "Johnny And Mary' by Placebo (originally by now deceased suave ladies man, Robert Palmer - OAP Ed) is an interesting cover." Ray: "Just don't do anything obvious. Not covering a hit should be another rule. Placebo also covered 'Where Is My Mind' by The Pixies (American rock heroes that influenced Nirvana) and you can't do that. How many bands do that song? Too many."
Gerard, how do you feel about the comment that you look like Drew Barrymore in ET? - Ant, Birmingham
Gerard: "Where does this come from?" Hammer: I think it was originally from a Hammer live review ages ago. Gerard: "I always get compared to some Hollywood starlet or other. Especially Christina Ricci." Hammer: I'm never going to be able to watch the bit where she does that really sexy tap dance, wearing that amazingly short skirt in Buffalo 66 ever again.
What do you feel about the claim that you are goths? - Ali, from Reading
Gerard (who is dressed entirely in black, has long black hair and loads of make up on to appear like he has the three day dead eyes of a ghoul): "It doesn't really bother us. I think it comes from our song 'Vampires Will Never Hurt You'. I mean, I always dress in black; the whole of the band always dress in black but that isn't really goth to me. Bauhaus were goth; the Sisters of Mercy are goth. I think it has more to do with the sound of the music and our sound is more punk rock. All that goth music is good stuff though; I just don't think we sound like that."
Why not play a show in Iceland? It's not a bad idea. - Icelandic name, Iceland
Gerard: "I would love to." Frank: "I've heard it's fucking beautiful." Gerard: "We're always up for doing stuff like that in different countries and what I always say is 'If you can find a promoter who is willing to bring us over then we'll do it."
Hey guys, sorry to ask the obvious but what happened to Matt (the band's dour and slightly older ex-drummer)? - Alexandra Rose, via Hammer message board
Gerard: "We'd rather not talk about this because we're not a shit-talking band." Frank: "It's just not anyone's business. We don't feel we need to talk about stuff like this." Hammer: Well, I'll turn the question around: Can you tell us about the background of your new member Bob, who's replaced him? (The entire band turn round to Bob, who is dozing in the corner with his hoody pulled up, and laugh.) All: "Bob, what's your background!" Bob (groggily): "I started playing drums when I was three and then after school, I worked my way into the music business, working in music stores and record shops. I started doing drum tech stuff and I always ended up hanging around with My Chemical Romance whenever I worked with them.”
(splash quote) "I just rolled the window up. I couldn't think of anything else to do. 'Phew. I'm safe from the .375 gun now that I've rolled the fucking window up.’”
What are MCR's favourite sandwich fillings? - Your biggest fan, Northern Ireland
Rae: "Turkey and Gruyere." Frank: "Eggplant (Aubergine – American Ed) and parmesan." Mikey: "Grilled cheese and tomato." Hammer: Ah, poor man's pizza. Bob: "Tuna mayonnaise." Hammer: While we're on the subject, who is the best cook in the band? Ray: "Well, I know that Bob can actually cook. Bob, how do you cook them steaks?" Bob: "I get some steak and some vinegar and some other shit. I could tell you but I'd have to kill you. Shit, I don't know, I can cook really good if I've got a book in front of me." Gerard: "Next time I'm over I'm going to cook all of Metal Hammer's readers a chick pea curry, It tastes really good." Frank: "If you are making a chicken Caesar salad you should put powdered onions into the dressing and it tastes really nice. Hammer: Onions? In powder form? Really? What kind of insanity is that? Frank: "You guys don't have powdered onions? You are so BC. Hammer: Goddamnit. You can't speak to a member of Her Majesty's Metal Press like that. But let me know where we can get this shit, we're thinking of launching a sister title Metal And Modern Cookery Hammer All: "Awesome!
To the guy with the big hair (Ray), do you actually Iron Maiden or are you just being cool? - Insane Angel, via Hammer message board Ray:… Gerard: "Woah!" Bob: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ray:… (starts shaking) Frank: "Oh my God!" Ray:… (smoke starts pouring from his ears) Mikey: "What a fucking question" Ray (with barely controlled anger, through gritted teeth): "No. I hate them. They're fucking shit. That's a fucked up question you shit head!" Gerard: "To be fair it's a valid question. You do see a lot of young chicks wearing Maiden t-shirts who are just doing it because it is a fashion thing to do." Hammer: So we can safely assume you are all Maiden fans? All: "Dude! Of course!" Hammer: In that case can you all give me a surprising Bruce Dickinson fact? Mikey: "He was an Olympic fencer." Ray: "He wrote books on how to get on in the music biz." Gerard: "He is a trained pilot dude!" Frank: "Do you know how in the 70s Bowie started thinking he was Ziggy Stardust? Well, I think Bruce Dickinson is the same with Lord Iffy Boot Race (Main character from Dicko's comedy novels)."
How do you feel about the criticism you receive from the metal community? - Chris, via email
Gerard: "I'm not sure what he's talking about. If he means about the people who remember us from being in a hardcore band who call us faggots on the internet then we're not really bothered. We get called faggots a lot but, you know, so what? Generally we tend not to read about ourselves. Live reviews are handy because you can learn stuff from them but generally not."
(splash quote) "There were five people and a homeless guy at the gig. The homeless guy bootlegged the gig and tried to sell it to us afterwards." (close-up photo captioned "Gerard knows the Way. To wear makeup.")
Do you consider yourselves a metal band? - Grace, London Gerard: "Metal is a big influence. If you think about the power, the screaming, the guitars etc then it is quite metal but it sounds like punk to me." Mikey: "We're also metal in the sense that we've a lot of metal on our instruments and I have quite a lot on my belt buckle as well." Gerard: "If we're metal then we're very traditionally metal. Iron Maiden are an influence as are Helloween, don't ever forget Helloween!" Hammer: In that case, is your song 'Thank You For The Venom' an ABBA style tribute to the large haired black metal poodle rockers from Newcastle, England? Gerard: "Eh?" Hammer: It doesn't matter. Gerard: "That song is a sarcastic statement, a bit like saying 'Thanks for ruining my life'. It was something I had written on my t-shirt the first ever gig we played."
What would you do if you ever encountered a moose? Would you run like a girl or stand and face it like a man? - Goldfinger, via Hammer message board Frank: "Has Goldfinger ever seen any mooses?" Mikey: "That isn't the plural of moose. It's moosi." Gerard: "Fuck off, it's meese." Frank: "Has Goldfinger ever seen a flock of meese advancing on him? It's a terrifying sight. They aren't small creatures. You would just run off like a girl or a boy. What does running like a girl mean anyway?" Mikey: "I've seen one. I'd run like a girl for sure. They're massive. If you run over one you're fucked. They come in through your windscreen kicking." Bob: "People think that moose are really gentle and goofy but they aren't; they're fucking animals." Hammer: What is the most exotic piece of wildlife you've ever encountered on tour? Gerard: "I saw some grizzly bears in Canada." Ray: "I saw a coyote." Bob: "Ray saw this girl in Chicago. She was fucking exotic." Ray: "Oh shit. She pelted me with chicken-flavoured crackers. Do you remember the homeless lady as well? She was this really old lady with this faint voice that I found when I was getting on the tour bus one night. She said, 'Can I sleep here tonight?' and I was like, 'No way lady, get the hell off the bus.' And then I realised that she had wrenched the window off the side of the bus to get in." Hammer: You have more stories about homeless people than any other band that we've met. Gerard: "That's because they are our core audience." Mikey: "We're very attractive to them because we dress like homeless people." Hammer: I saw a moose once. It was bearing down on me with a semi-on and a heart full of hatred. Gerard: "You're making this up aren't you?" Hammer: Er, yes.
Do you like the French? - Paul, Kingston Upon Thames Gerard: "Oh. That is such a loaded question." Frank: "Well, I'm going to say no because when we've toured there they've never been anything but mean to us." Hammer: Well, you're in good company. I know Andrew Eldritch, from the Sisters Of Mercy, said if he had one wish he would make France sink into the sea except for all of the pretty girls aged between 18 and 26, who he would levitate to safety." All, cracking up: "Awesome!" Hammer: Yeah, they are an easy target. Wasn't it Donald Rumsfeld who said that going to war in Iraq without the French was like going hunting without an accordion? Frank: "Brilliant."
Can you clear this up for us once and for all; which one of the Village People was actually gay? - Iron Monkey, via Hammer message board Gerard (without pause): "The Construction Worker."
You guys rule live. What British band would you like to play with in the future? - Hollow Man, via Hammer message board Frank: "Muse." Mikey: "Muse." Ray: "Funeral For A Friend." Gerard: "Yeah, Funeral For A Friend again."
Have any of you ever been shot and/or stabbed? - Andy, Bristol Ray: "We nearly got shot recently. We were stuck in a traffic jam and our manager got into this argument with these Puerto Rican guys and told them to go fuck themselves. They pulled up next to us and got a gun out. Our manager was trying to grab the gun. I thought we were fucked for sure." Bob: "I just rolled the window up. I couldn't think of anything else to do. 'Phew. I'm safe from the .375 gun now that I've rolled the fucking window up.'" Hammer: Were you scared? Bob: "Nah, I'm full of piss and vinegar." Hammer: Ah ha! So that's what's in your secret steak marinade! Bob: "Shit yeah! I piss on my steak. Now I'm gonna have to kill you."
Rock journalists suck big dogs' cocks. And they smell. Really bad. Like burning ammonia. Take over by asking the questions that matter to you. See www.metalhammer.co.uk/spanish for who the Inquisition are gonna be quizzing in the coming months and how to ask your questions. Arriverderch.
MCR for Metal Hammer, Issue 133, December 2004 🩸 #Revenge20
📸 via Naki
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