#realizing i definitely should've made my own post now

[bearfrosts]

okay I genuinely haven't read enough of TBC yet to know much about shadowsight yet but I've got a take that may or may not be a hot one (idk, this fandom is new to me): this applies to every single warriors character. all of them. even your most favoritest one that you think has such a deep and complex character arc.

not to totally derail your post, but—

they're all extremely bland with a handful of surface level traits and motivations that never get explored in the way they deserve. this series is a concept bulging at seams reinforced with steel. it's a profit cow series that was never meant to have more than six books, written for children, with a strict limit to word count and arc length, and almost certainly strongarmed by corporate interest at least some of the time.

the books crash through the plot at breakneck speed without ANY time to truly understand the characters or even the setting itself to the fullest degree possible. most worldbuilding is mentioned in passing and much of it is forgotten by the time a few more books roll out. there's that core of it that feels like a cohesive narrative, but it feels like you're being grabbed by the neck and punted into the atmosphere at escape velocity because there's literally just not enough space to do it justice.

i tried to get my friend to read warriors recently, just to see how it reads to an adult that never read it as a child and therefore is not tainted by that nostalgia that really drew me back to the series at this age. he basically told me that it had potential but it never went deep enough. there wasn't enough time to get to know characters or actually understand the extent of what was going on. i absolutely agree; and i think i've realized now that the reason i'm still such a fan is because as a kid i got really attached to these characters and now i've built them into something more complex in my mind.

this series is poorly written and quite grievously restricted by the length of each book. with all the possibilities in the series you could easily write an endlessly continuing series of epic fantasy novels, like a song of ice and fire but following generations and generations of characters through books that thoroughly explore the psyche of the characters, their environment, their relationships, and the setting itself. and that isn't to say that i think it should mirror the themes of a song of ice and fire, to be clear, it was just an example—the story doesn't need to be any darker, any grittier. it's fine! all it needs is more time. it just needs more space to grow and expand.

so i guess my point is that yeah, all the characters are bland as hell. i personally think that's why people in this fandom find it so easy to "hate" on characters—because they're basically shells that are suuuper easy to project wildly varying interpretations of their actions onto because we're simply not given enough canonical exploration of them as a character. but in the end...it doesn't really matter? we all have an idea of these characters, whether we like them or love them, that is expanding infinitely beyond what we are given in canon. and since there's not much to go off in that regard...well, we all latch onto different characters, and build our own versions of them in our heads that we can appreciate. that's the thing about being in a fandom for terribly written media, yknow? it's all about the potential.

90% of shadowsight fans are annoying about him im sorry. your "uwu sad anxious little boy who lost everything" is incredibly bland as a character

[thatkippycat]

It's been awhile...: Stolas x M!GoetiaPrince! Reader Headcanons.

God, this one was so much fun to write, and I very well may turn it into a fic for my ao3 when I get back to posting there. I hope y'all enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------

• Growing up as a goetic demon was an...odd experience.

• You were the son of a duke, and while there were plenty of problems, it wasn't as bad as it was for others.

• You were given the title of prince from a young age, due to a mix of your own natural charm and circumstance.

• This wasn't supposed to happen, as your title should've gone to your older brother, Astratoth.

• However, your father had disappeared and no one knew what happened to him, leaving Astratoth to take on the title of duke and you to take up the title of prince.

• There were a lot of things that your father made you do a lot of things from a young age.

• Magical studies, finance and business courses, even sword fighting and martial arts training.

• You were actually rather good combat wise, even competing in competitions and tournaments.

• It was actually at one of these tournaments that you met a boy that changed your life.

• Satan wanted the chance to show off his, and his protégés' skills, so he called royal demons from across the rings to come watch, and even face them, if any dared.

• You were only a teenager at the time, but you had a fighting spirit and a need to prove yourself, so you, along with your brother made the trip down, only a week after he became a duke, and you a prince.

• It was why you needed to fight, or atleast that's how you felt about it.

• There's a million demons that are sharper than a razor or have silver tounges, but not many would even dare to face off against Satan's finest pupils.

• Before the fighting began, a grand party was held, and you got the first chance to mingle with other goetias as a prince.

• One stood out to you, though.

• Prince Stolas, son of King Paimon, stood on the balcony of the manor the party was held.

• He was alone, staring off into the night sky.

• So, you made your way over to him.

• You desperately needed a break, especially after having to deal with Zagan and Queen Beleth.

• Stolas didn't say anything when you walked outside and stood next to him, he just glanced over at you.

• The only sound that broke the silence was the muffled sounds of schmoozing inside.

• Eventually, you tried to talk to him, and apparently he needed it.

• This boy, probably no more than a year younger than you, broke down in tears.

• You tried to comfort him, and it somewhat succeeded.

• The two of you ended up sitting down and talking and he opened up about everything.

• His arranged marriage to a woman he hated, the problems with his father, and just...everything.

• So, you did the only thing you knew how to; you offered to sneak out of the party with him.

• Stolas was hesitant, but ultimately decided to go with you.

• You ended up just going into a small, family owned diner, and ate together.

• Now with all his problems off his chest, you got to know him really well, and you could already tell you were catching feelings.

• Stolas ended up resting his hand on the table, and you, ever the charmer, moved to rest yours on top of his.

• It took him a second to realize what you had done, but when he did, Stolas turned bright red.

• Stolas mentioned that he thought you were somewhat cute, and that night ended up becoming a date.

• You were his knight in shining armor now, and you were absolutely going to prove it the next day.

• You were going to fight a guy named Tsizoro.

• He wasn't Satan's top student, but he was definitely up there.

• Before the fight, Stolas found you, and gave you a gift. It was a handkerchief with his seal on it.

• You couldn't help but give Stolas a quick kiss. It was worth it to see him blush.

• You didn't win the fight, but you got damn close. You actually did well enough to get the respect of Satan himself.

• You didn't take his offer to learn from him though. You had to go see someone.

• Stolas and you ended up going back to Pride together, you using the excuse of teaching him how to fight. That was an excuse Paimon graciously accepted.

• You were together for a week, and you ended up becoming crazy for eachother.

• Well, until Paimon and Stolas' betrothed, Stella, caught you two.

• You got kicked out really damn fast, and Paimon made sure there was no way you could contact Stolas.

• Defeated and heartbroken, you tried to move on, and finally took Satan's offer.

• It didn't work though, as evidence by the fact that decades later, now with you and Stolas both as adults, you kept up with the story surrounding him.

• Divorce, affair, and who knows how much heartbreak.

• Eventually you decided to go see him.

• You wanted to do it right, so you made sure to get his favorite flowers, hand-picked by yourself.

• Stolas' eyes lit up when he saw you, and you thought he was going to cry.

• The two of you embraced, and even shared a kiss or two.

• Things were so different now, and you weren't sure how things would go.

• But you had eachother, and that was enough for you.

[macsimagines]

THE KISAKI YANDERE POST WAS SO GOOD ?? I NEED TO SEE A PART 2 LIKE WHERE HE FOUND OUT YOU ABORTED THE BABY I NEED TO KNOW IF HE WOULD GET ANGRY OR WHAT ? AND HOW READER REFUSE TO GET MARRIED YET 😻😻 I'm on my knees 😞

YA YOU DO BOO I GOT YOU. I'M HERE FOR SOFT YANDERE KISAKI AND I EAT ANGST FOR BREAKFAST -Ms.Mac

Yandere!Kisaki Tetta

He plays it off when you don't tell him you're pregnant yet. He thinks ok it just hasn't hit yet. He's super suspicious when he notices you're acting strange though.

Ever the thinker he tries to come up with excuses for you. You're probably still getting ready for college. You honestly might still think you're going since you don't realize something waaaaay more important is coming up.

Kisaki has already made deals and prepped everything beforehand. He's got a well paying part time job, and he knows he can balance class work with it. He's also got savings stocked up from his gang days. You won't live as lavishly as he wants but your baby, his baby, is going to be provided for.

This guy is making a lot of sacrifices already you need to be ready to do the same. He know you must have noticed your period is late so why haven't you said anything yet?

Unless...there's no way you're trying to keep it a secret from him right? Or worse yet...

No. He won't allow it. Now he's using even more resources and connections and now he's found out you've made yourself an appointment at an illegal clinic to abort this baby. His fucking baby.

He can't contain his rage. He wants to kill you for thinking you could kill his child. But he knows better. He rationalizes. You just were scared, you made a very dumb decision. You almost made a horrible mistake.

You're dumbstruck to find Tetta at the clinic on the day of your appointment. You were so damn careful, how could he know...

"Just what do you think you're doing, (Y/N)?"

You're crying the whole way to Tetta's big fancy apartment. The one he's been begging you to come and stay at with him. He kept complaining it was way too huge for one person because of course it was. Who the hell needed a luxury three bedroom sound proof apartment all to themselves?

Kisaki doesn't say anything while you cry and try to explain how you're not ready for a baby, how you know how bad he wants to be married and to have a family but you just can't right now.

He doesn't say anything just listen while he helps you take off your jacket, and takes your phone, pulling something from your his back pocket...

It's his own fault. He accepts that he definitely made some poor choices. He really should've just held off until you were engaged. But it's fine. He'll take responsibility.

You feel him rubbing you back whispering how it's gonna be ok. How he's going to make it ok.

Then something clicks around your neck. A metal collar, with a chain leading to the wall. You're so stunned and confused staring at Tetta for an explanation.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N. I wanted to get you a pretty engagement ring, but you're just so fucking stubborn. So godamn stupid.' He explains walking away from you, "But I can fix this. You just need some time to adjust. To get used to the idea. I'm gonna make some calls. You need to settle in."

[doverstar]

Hello hello I was told by your lovely sister, one of my favorite people on the planet, to send you the same question I asked her to see what else you could say about it, since you write a lot of fanfiction and are more familiar with it than she said she was, so here I am!

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post Artist made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the piece of media and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3 I love you and your blog so much btw!

Golly, what a question! I haven't seen what Arti answered yet - I've been at work - but I'm on break now, so I can give it a try! I bet I'll end up saying a lot of what she said, making this an unnecessary and VERY LONG read, but here goes-

I do write a lot of fanfiction, and I have been since I was 8 (aka for a long, long time, gosh I'm old-). I wrestle with a lot of what you've described! I've been on the brink of quitting fanfiction altogether lately; there will come a time when I need to "grow up" in that area and commit to only writing what's just mine. I do have original stories, original worlds, original characters, but like you, when I want to practice and learn, I turn to fanfiction. It's a wonderful platform in that sense!

I would say you're right on the money when it comes to what the Lord has gifted you with. You should use wisdom, and you should use discretion. Your writing should be used to point to what's true, and there should be intention in no matter what you're creating. We're not only called to glorify God, we're called to excellence. Everything we do should be done to the best of our ability!

And what you believe, if you really believe it - about what's true, about how we ought to live and what's important - is definitely going to bleed through into whatever you write. It's the truth, and you've found it, and it can't help coming out. Making something (writing in particular) requires pieces of us, and if that's the case, then our Christianity (for lack of a better phrase) is going to show up in our stories. Even if the characters belong to someone else.

If you find yourself writing a story just to squeal over a ship, just to get secondhand butterflies when the male lead's being dreamy, just to vent some sort of difficult emotion you're dealing with or live vicariously through a character, you should close the laptop. I've written plenty of things that make me feel happy or excited (like you said, that's not bad!) but if that's the only reason you're writing it, it's a waste. And on another, semi-related note, a lot of people only write fanfiction to indulge in emotional pornography. It's not as steep a slope as you might think. When my father-in-law gets just a little drunk every night before bed, it's still sin. It doesn't matter how much or how long it lasts. He's still drunk, and he shouldn't be. So be careful! (she said, to herself, often-)

As for writing just to fix a story - if it's bothering you, and you see what they ought to have done, I say go for it, and here's why: it's teaching you something. It's you figuring out why what the source material did was dissatisfying, and it's you figuring out how your alternative is better. You're essentially teaching yourself what not to do. Now, if you want to write it and fix it and you want to keep the focus on good things, true things, there's still a way to do that. Work out what was good and true already about the source material and draw from that when it comes to theme.

I use a Notes document. I'm not talking about the Notes app on smartphones, I'm saying I open a Word document (or whatever your equivalent is!) for every single thing I write (fanfiction, original, etc.) and I entitle it "[Insert Story Title Here] - Notes.doc" and then I word-vomit at myself. I write at the top what the theme of my writing is going to be this time, and why, and underneath that I explain to myself where I see those good and true themes in the source material and how I'm going to magnify them and use them to point to the truth (specifically some Christian truths) in my story now. I figure out how it will all work and feel canon and then I move on to the pre-write for each chapter. It's good practice, it's great fun, and it keeps me on course when I start to drift into self-indulgence during the writing process. It's fun to visit Atlantica and Stars Hollow and get inside Caitlin Snow's head and show the world why I think Rose Tyler is the best thing to ever happen to Doctor Who - but all of those things can pull me away from the messages I'm trying to communicate.

Fanfiction should not be escapism. I cannot write when I am freaking out. I cannot write when I'm miserable, or angry, or fighting with someone. When I'm low emotionally and my spirit is scratched, I can't complete a single sentence. I can't. I think the Lord did that in me for a reason. I don't use fanfiction to escape reality or to deal with reality. When I was younger, I considered a day when I wasn't writing to be a wasted day. I needed to write. I needed to make something. But I prioritized that over reality, and yes, that is sin. I wasn't escaping, but I was idolizing, and that's wrong. I'm impressed by your self-inflicted limits! I could've done with that at 12 myself.

Fanfiction shouldn't be all self-indulgence, either. Yes, you ought to have some fun when you're making things. But have self-control! I love writing fanfiction and drawing and editing videos. I love it. It's so much fun to me. I get genuine joy out of it. And when I look at something I'm making, I say to myself, "Self, is this a waste of time? Does that part need to be in there or are you just playing?" And then I examine my motives and I examine the thing I'm worried about and I determine whether or not it takes you out of the story or draws you away from the themes (in writing specifically) or if it's okay to add because it's pleasant and matches one of the good, lovely, honorable, etc. things that are true in life that God allows us to have and enjoy, because He's just that good. And then I have to either say to myself, "Self, this is fattening," and delete it, or I say to myself "Hey, dolphins twirl," and leave it in, making sure I'm still on course.

Dolphins twirl! Why? We don't know why they twirl! God does. God made them twirl. God made them animals that play. He didn't have to do that! He didn't have to make the leaves change color. He looked at His creation and called it good when He was finished (you know, before we ruined it). He took pleasure in creating. We can too - as long as it's not pulling us or our readers off course. My husband doesn't have to be a good dancer to fit the biblical picture of a man I ought to marry - but he is a good dancer, on top of fitting what I should have been looking for biblically, and God knew that, and God did that, and I get to enjoy it and enjoying it is not wrong. Dolphins twirl!

Like I said, I'm close myself to putting fanfiction aside on the whole, because I can tell, probably because of the Lord, that it's nearly time for that. It's time to look up and make something more real, for more real reasons. If you're thinking it's about time for that for you, too, pray about it. Writing fanfiction is like anything else fun the Lord has blessed us with (everything good comes from God) - it's fun and good as long as you aren't misusing it. Everything in moderation. People take stories they love and characters they connect to and go and interact with them through fanfiction in a bad way, for bad reasons (or just reasons that are useless to man and beast), and I've done that before myself. I've been one of them. But it's not wrong to expand on the good and true things in stories we love, the things that are in line with what we know God invented, and it's not wrong to hone your craft and learn how to use what you've been given with excellence, so that when the time comes for you to write your own story that points to God, you're ready!

You don't want to be wasting your time or the talents you've been given. I say keep thinking about it, and remember why you do what you do. Stay on course! That's my advice.

Thanks for asking me!

[mundanewill]

A Grocery Shop With Me

I made this because I realized that the mundane and human isn't glorified much anymore, and I wanted desperately to make something you'd see on a geocities back in the day before everything posted on the internet became a contest of virality or trying to hold people's attention. This post is long and boring and human. Thanks for checking it out.

I ask my dad to drive me down to the grocery store. It's Sunday, a bit after 5PM, and the last bit of light from the sky is disappearing. I'm apologetic to him for asking to go so late - driving in the dark is dangerous, especially with nocturnal megafauna often wandering into the road - I mean moose, by the way. It's January 19th. Despite living in Alaska, it's really warm this winter. Dad saw through his Facebook memories that this happened 10 years ago, too. I'm wearing a hoodie and PJs because I didn't want to take any longer to get ready. I'm surprised it's warm enough, which is a pleasant surprise, because I haven't been able to dress this lightly and be comfortable for awhile. I'll not a fan of heavy or unbreathable clothing that winter wear tends to be made of - for good reason, it keeps the snow out. I'm fashionable enough that I don't feel ashamed to go out like this, either - I always wear bright colors and flashy patterns if I can help it. A lot of people tell me I cheer them up on dreary days.

As my dad drives down to town and the warm orange lights of the town street lights come into close view - hey, come to think of it, we don't have bright blueish LEDs yet, I wonder why that is? I'm thankful all of the sudden for that. - I think about how the world has changed recently with this whole TikTok ban thing happening.

I won't go into politics, so don't worry. This is supposed to be a relaxing retelling of a mundane trip. But my mind does wander in places I think can be challenging for some others to hear. This is my post and I'll talk about what I want to.

I think about how before the digital age of filming and camera - for you youngin's out there, this was about the introduction DVD era, probably the mid 2000s? - everyone looked a bit more blurry on physical mechanical cameras. There was less stress about flawless skin back then.

The 80's was a golden era of masculine body types on American film, in my opinion. Me and my boyfriend have been watching them non-stop lately, and it's become the highlight of my every day. Action stars didn't look as dehydrated, fat was over that muscle, body hair too. Actors were more often allowed to have acne scars and sometimes even blemishes.

I think about how the change to the digital era of film and pictures should've been an improvement. We were getting closer to seeing what people looked like in person, in high HD detail - but then we tried to go back. When photoshop got popular in the digital era models were digitally airbrushed more and more, and a lot of phone cameras now blur details on the face by default. I think about those AI filters that the TikTokkers love that change their face completely to look like some sort of 3D cartoon Disney film. It's a fun gimmick, but somehow it seemed like we've been trying harder and harder the more technology gets better to get further away from our own humanity. Airbrush it away instead of being glad to see humans being human, flaws included. I don't even want to call them flaws, they're just normal.

My boyfriend tells me a lot of my flaws are normal. I'm thankful for that, for him. He's definitely out of my league in terms of normalized societal beauty standards, but I believe him - I'm beautiful too, in my own avant-garde way. I wouldn't have it any other way. I dress like this, after all.

But yeah, back to TikTok - folks are joining RedNote instead. Double-edged sword; queerness is heavily censored in China, and the exclusion of queers in the "new app" feels scary to me as a normalization. On the other hand, Americans are starting to realize that China isn't a faceless terrifying boogeyman that our American propaganda machines have been telling us for decades. Despite having a massive Chinese immigrant population in America since forever, I'm amazed this is still such an issue.

"Where are we going first?" my dad asks. I tell him unfortunately I need to go to two different grocery stores in town today, since one has things the other doesn't. One of these grocery stores is of a massive chain that I always feel miserable going to due to the lack of workers, poor management and overcrowding.

We go to my favorite grocery store first. The parking light is sparse. I remember it's Sunday - I love shopping on Sunday.

When entering the grocery store, I always make the same route;

First, I grab a wet wipe near the front door. Even though most people have moved on from the covid pandemic, they still have this - I'm grateful. I wipe my hands off, then wipe down the handle of the grocery cart. There's a tiny trash can I dispose the wipe. Today, somebody left an apple core in one of the grocery carts. It's not my job, but I pick it up with the wipe and throw it away in that little can. I don't want the workers to have to do more work than they do. They treat their workers good here, there's never not enough staff and they seem happy to hire minorities too. My state is a red state, unfortunately.

I always go through the first aisle to get to the "edge" of the grocery store. The main central aisle of the store has a lot of foot traffic, and going around the side is usually the best way to avoid it. Even though it's incredibly quiet today, I still go this route - it'll "feel wrong" if I don't.

This aisle has all the limited-time holiday items. Even though I went grocery shopping the day after Christmas, they didn't discount the Christmas candy because of the population of Orthodox Russians who live nearby that have their Christmas in apparently January. I wasn't sure exactly when that was, so by the time I came back after, they were putting out Valentine's candy instead. Dang, no discount on Christmas stuff for me.

That's probably for the best. A major part of the reason I went to town so late today was because I developed a sugar headache from eating too much sugary breakfast cereal that I was saving for my birthday. I had already opened up the bag to share some with my mom as an apology for being difficult one afternoon, and I couldn't help myself - no, I couldn't stop myself from eating it like crazy. Chocolate rice crispies are the shit, man.

Sadly I was probably binge-eating a little because I had lost a lot of weight recently. I need to be careful about that.

I walk past the valentine's candy and make my way to the "edge" of the store, next to the wall. I walk towards -

Wait a minute, was that a DVD of Romeo and Juliet on the shelf? My grocery store sells cheap DVDs for a dollar in this unknown corner. I wonder if it's the same version of Romeo and Juliet my mom is obsessed with, but I figure she probably already has that DVD already. We try to collect DVDs we like when we can in case of the apocalypse when the internet goes down. Partially joking, partially serious.

If it is the Romeo and Juliet version she loves, I hope another person picks it up and likes it too. The last time I was here, I looked through the films and got what I wanted - the films I knew were good but didn't need I put in the front to entice other shoppers to pick up. I hope everyone keeps buying and keeping DVDs.

The next aisle I always go into is the aisle full of cheap organizational items and school supplies. Usually stuff in this aisle goes for less than 5$. I think it's because a lot of the stuff this grocery store gets is surplus from Costco. I don't have much money right now so I don't plan to buy any organizational items, but I feel I still need to go through it because that's what I do every time I come here. There's no organizational items in my preferred colors on the shelf this month. Maybe next month. They change it out seasonally. Today, it's red and green for Christmas, dark blue, and white. My mom likes dark blue but she told me to stop buying her these, she has enough. For 1 dollar a piece though it always feels worth it.

I then go into the juice aisle. They still don't have Langer's Raspberry Cranberry. It's the best flavor; every time they have a shipment of it come in, it sells out fast - probably because, like me, other shoppers buy several whenever that happens to stock up for the next drought of the flavor being unavailable.

Don't worry, I drink it heavily watered-down. That much sugar would kill me if drank straight.

I weave around the aisles in a bit of a daze; the headache makes it hard to think, I feel like it's stuffed with flem. Don't worry, I wear a mask still. Don't talk to me about this, it's not what this blog post is about. This is about grocery shopping.

I read my shopping list closely and go from there. I used to make my shopping lists in my Notes app on my phone which is something I highly recommend; it makes it easy to reorganize each item on the list by pressing and dragging, so you could sort the items based on where they are in the store. Foolishly I've been instead preferring to use my physical notepad in my kitchen that's attached to the wall with a magnet. I'm not sure why this is; maybe it's because I get so easily distracted on the phone nowadays or because it's fun to practice my ridiculous vaguely-Coca-Cola-inspired handwriting. My notepad paper is cute, it's bordered in pink with little pretty simplistic art of fruits. I should try to get back into the habit of making shopping lists on my phone though since I'm so often in bed anyway and my notepad paper is slowly dwindling at this point.

It's mostly restocking cash items this trip. I need to get paper bowls, disposable forks and spoons, toilet paper, and paper towels.

All these things are technically unnecessary (except the toilet paper, of course) and I do feel bad for the environment for using these, but I'm disabled, and they really make my life a whole lot less difficult when I just don't have the energy to wash dishes or do washcloth laundry non-stop. Maybe one day when my body is in better shape, I live in a better environment, and found meds that help me better, I won't feel cautious enough that I feel I need these for emergencies. It's better I eat instead of put off eating indefinitely since I don't feel like doing dishes. My brain does really not put my survival first, which is unfortunate, but just the reality of my life.

I follow my previously made instructions closely, glad that I don't have to think too much.

I do stop for two things I didn't have on my list - I look for thick bonito and Chinese five spice. The former I don't find, but even if I did, I'd be hesitant to actually pick it up since I already have the less thick variant and that shit is expensive even if worth it. The latter I do eventually find after staring at the huge wall of spices like I'm a Ferris Bueller character in a museum but end up not buying because I forgot what YouTube Shorts recipe I saw it in, and I should probably not buy anything that I don't have a recipe planned for in advance first. I tend to eat the same things every day and it's hard to summon the energy to break that habit and try something new, not to mention the dozen and a half medical food intolerances I have to make sure I'm not fucking with in the recipes I pick.

Gluten free flour will never be one-to-one with gluten flour no matter the mixture to me, sorry bozo.

The amount I get overall in my cart isn't too bad. I keep being tempted by candy bars and sweets I see around the store while simultaneously feeling like I never want to eat another sweet thing for as long as I live - it seems to just be a habit of mine to leer at them regardless every time I come in even though I rarely ever actually buy any. The kid me would be disappointed in my adult palette where more than one candy bar or soda in a day just feels like too damn much. I genuinely find fresh berries and flavored Greek yogurt plenty as a sweet treat, which I eat with breakfast every day. I only justify paying high for them because need the vitamins and shit.

The cashier seems like a cool guy. I've never talked to him much, but he always has a toy lightsaber on his belt or some other nerdy accessory with him at work. I'm not a star wars fan (I never saw any of the movies growing up, but I also have nothing against star wars and do plan to watch them eventually) so I feared talking to him about it in case I'm put into the awkward situation of having to admit I don't know anything about it. However, he's been bringing his toys to work for years now - I really respect him being a weirdo (a word used affectionately in my family). I'm glad nobody's mean comments has stopped him, if anyone ever did say something mean. Despite my town being right-wing, the population is overall pretty polite.

Dad is waiting in the car. I don't know why, but he insists he doesn't mind waiting for me to shop. I've become pretty efficient at shopping because of this. That doesn't mean I don't constantly tell I'm grateful or sorry though. At least his car has fantastic heating, and he has a smart phone to play with nowadays when he gets bored.

Onward to the grocery store I hate, the big chain. I'd never go there if I could help it, but when you're broke, you go to where the cheapest deals are. When we pull in the parking lot is almost empty! Which is something we almost never see. "I love shopping on Sunday." I mutter. "Especially on Sunday evening!" dad replies. Sunday is the quietest.

I don't hate people. I think after the start of the pandemic, a deeply ingrained dislike of brushing shoulders with strangers or smelling their breath never disappeared. It's unfortunate but it's kept me from getting any colds that weren't really mild for the last few years. I have other reasons why crowds and close proximities with strangers make me uncomfortable, but let's not get into that. Back to shopping.

No gluten free vanilla cake, still. I wonder who else bought it for it to go out of stock. Huh. Well, I still have chocolate saved in my freezer for my birthday. Was thinking of getting both flavors so I could share some with family, but they're not expecting much anyway, I'm sure. I'm not having a party or anything.

Even though I shouldn't eat gluten, I still look at the case of fresh donuts every time I come here. They never have custard-filled anymore. I wonder why they don't make more, since it's obviously the most popular kind. If I could find a custard one once, I might cheat on my diet for it. Mom likes them too, I could get her one at least. If there was only one custard-filled donut, not two, that one would be for her. I hope she still likes them. They are a bit on the too-sweet side, though.

Cinnamon sugar looks good.. I should try to make a gluten-free donut with cinnamon sugar one day. Not worth cheating on my diet for, though. Moving on.

My favorite flavor of greek yogurt is lemon and they're of course out - this store has been out of a lot of things lately. Maybe the roads the truckers use have been especially bad lately, I hope they're alright. The lemon flavor tastes just like lemon pie filling. Despite that, it has the least amount of sugar of the flavors from this brand. For some reason Strawberry has the most sugar in it. I wonder why that is?

I buy raspberry flavor even though I'll mostly be putting it on top of fresh raspberries. Raspberries are probably my favorite berry or even fruit, maybe because I grew up picking raspberries with my family every summer. Huge literal buckets of raspberries I could just eat handfuls of. Getting fresh fruit in Alaska for a affordable price is very difficult - it's probably at least twice the price as you experience, whoever's reading this. :( But it makes it feel all the more luxurious and valuable.

No cashew milk... it's my preferred milk for my coffee since I can't drink dairy. My eyes look over the milk section again. Then again. How could there be 5 different brands of Almond milk and not one for cashew? I look even closer - I can't even see where the cashew milk price sticker is, I eventually realize it must've been removed. Does that mean they're not going to stock it any time soon, maybe stop stocking it altogether? That's really unfortunate.

Even the creamers, not the milk, are all based on less fatty plant milks. Oat milk? Are you fucking serious? RICE MILK? I'm trying to be healthy and figure the creamers probably have some artificial shit in them to thicken them up. Not worth it. I'll look around in the coffee aisle, maybe something there.

I get my berries for my yogurt. Not much on sale, and the regular selection hasn't been available for over a month now. I do some math in my head to figure out what the best deal is in packages of berries - mixed or unmixed - I even weigh a box that seemed a bit light on the fruit scale to discover someone pilfered a little from it. I ended up buying discounted blueberries and, of course, raspberries. I regret not buying the raspberries at the last store which were 50¢ less despite them being a bit more on the dangerous side of ripe. The chain store usually has more fruit sales and better quality control so I prefer to buy fruit here, but the idea that I'm giving money to this shop instead of the more local one does give me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. If I ever get rich, I'm shopping more ethically. I'm still mad after finding out the fancy icecream I bought here in the past on sale was still being sold for 7$ less at the local grocer. Yeesh. Gotta make sure I keep price comparing. Should I start writing it down?

Right. Dad's waiting for me. I already wasted too much time trying to find cashew milk. The coffee aisle is full of almond milk too. Macadamia nut milk isn't bad, but over 7$ for a tiny half-carton makes me wanna gag. No cream for my coffee for awhile. Damn. Might just prefer to cut coffee out of my diet, really.

I get into the car. Dad offers me a pastry from a tiny box he apparently went into the store and bought while I was shopping. Despite my fear of sweet things at this point, I accept it because I'm just so excited to get a treat from my dad frankly. It's a bite-sized pastry that has sugar glaze and raspberries inside. It's one of the best things I've ever tasted. My headache doesn't get worse, thankfully.

He asks if I want to go anywhere else. I tell him it's not important even though it is to be - I want to go back to the grocer I like and get milk, but it can wait for the next trip.

He says he'll do it, no problem. I run in and out fast. No cashew milk there either, but I got coconut cream and extremely cheap almond milk for about 5$ total. Not bad. We make do. Almond milk for flavor, coconut for fattiness.

As we're driving home, I remember that my boyfriend said he wouldn't be available to call tonight. He lives in Poland and my evening is his morning. He's having fun with his brother visiting, and I told him to have fun. It's a bit sad not having our daily evening call to look forward to, but I can also do something else by myself instead when I usually don't have the opportunity to.

When we pull into our little rural neighborhood, the neighbor's dog Sandy is walking around the road in the dark. Dogs walking around freely isn't unusual in my neighborhood; almost all of them are trained farm dogs that protect and herd free range livestock, and since we're outside of city limits laws regarding dogs on leashes don't really apply. It's unusual to see her out, though, and when my dad parks his car she comes right up to my car door and lets me pet and scritch her soft little head as I put my ice cleats back on my boots.

I walk down the driveway and grab the family's sled before returning to my dad's car and loading up the sled with my groceries. I thank him again and tell him I love him.

My cabin is at the end of a long trail that's inaccessible to cars. I pull the sled up to my doorway and bring in the groceries and a big water bottle made for water coolers since I don't have running water. We refill them regularly with free drinking water spots, one of which is in front of that very chain grocery store.

The rest of the evening is pretty uneventful. After putting my groceries away, I heat up some leftover chili my mom made me and send her a message thanking her for it. I play a little FFXIV, browse tumblr, then lay in bed to rest my back. While shopping earlier, my ankle started to cramp up. I broke it pretty badly by slipping on ice a few years ago. It reminded me to stretch and exercise it a bit more. I move my ankle a little before I get distracted with some stupid YouTube videos and phone games. Putting on a Hollowtones stream vod, I fall asleep into a nap.

I wake up after midnight, my headache finally gone. My boyfriend sent me a message enthusiastically telling me he took a shower this morning. I'm proud of him. Life is hard.

[scammydoesstuff]

Saw your post about meeting Neil and honestly to say he only cares about Astarion is kinda I dunno... not cool. I mean Astarion of course means a lot to Neil because he's been with him for more than four years! He means a lot to Neil because I don't know maybe the fact that the man has poured a lot of his time into a character that was so faceted and deep has something to do with it? I don't think it's really fair of you to say that he only cares about Astarion now since he's new, because if that were the case then he'd have stopped caring for Astarion as soon as Fibonacci from Warframe entered the scene or other roles he has done post Astarion. I met Neil and I didn't whine or cry about him not having any Kamski or Simon Walker or Luke Davenport pics when I met him at the Game expo back in Feb, especially since his role as Simon Walker meant a lot to me. Heck I didn't even cry about him not having any Nyx Ulric pics for my friend who's comfort character is Nyx (Neil did all the mocap for him). At least you got a Resident Evil photo. And heck if anything you could have looked on his Streamily that usually gives everyone an idea of what prints he might have.

As for him not being oh my god shocked at your plush, have you any idea how many people that man meets at every con who shove things they've made of his characters in his face? He was probably tired but he did attempt to do the voice for you! Is there no gratitude in that? Neil is a human being, he doesn't OWE you anything, he's not a dancing monkey and you as well as all of his other fans should be thankful that he cares to even come to conventions and spare a few moments of time to meet us all given his work schedule.

Instead perhaps maybe realize that your disappointing interaction with him is all on you and not Neil himself. Any one else who's met him all seem to be happy they even got to stand before him and share a moment with him. Your moment with him was ruined by your own expectations of someone who is just a normal human being.

Cool. Thanks for the comment.

I definitely agree with you that I was disappointed as a result of my own expectations and I fully acknowledge that I took it way too personally. I could swear I mentioned as much in that post or at least the follow up in the ask I received after, but maybe I didn't. In which case; my bad. Should've been more clear on that.

The other thing I could've swore I've mentioned in regards to this whole weekend was that I was already in a bad mental state at the time. The interaction with Neil was just something that put me over the edge. That's also on me and I'm not blaming Neil for anything I was going through. Just that I was already having a bad time and that didn't help. I was very excited to finally meet him because I hadn't had the opportunity to do so after Resident Evil Village came out until literally this weekend. He otherwise hadn't come to any conventions near me that I was aware of (though, maybe he did and I just genuinely didn't know. Really hard to say at this point). Also, not to beat a dead horse or anything, but he was advertised for both Baldur's Gate III and Resident Evil Village as you can see in the screenshot below. So...fuck me for thinking he'd have prints for the games he was advertised with, I guess...

Now, while I understand Neil's attachment to Astarion - I saw a few streams of his when he played through RE8 and he was talking about him even back then - I can't deny that I do kinda find it shitty to just ignore the characters that came before that people still love. It's also very odd to see any voice actor doing things like this. Like, we met Roger Craig Smith as well this weekend and my boyfriend got the one print he had available for Hirako Shinji from Bleach. That's a character Roger hasn't voiced in, like, a decade, but when he saw the print my boyfriend chose, he got really excited. Despite pretty much everyone else coming up wanting autographs for Sonic, he was still excited about this character he doesn't even voice anymore and who he doesn't have much of a connection to at this point in time. It still meant something to see someone showing love for that character and he was excited by it. So for Neil to really only focus on the one, most recent character and not really show much attention to the others was just kinda surprising and very much against the norm. It's not a bad thing necessarily. Just not what I expected, as you so eloquently pointed out.

I'm genuinely sorry if anything I said offended you. I wasn't trying to start anything with that post. I was just sharing an experience from a weekend that was overall rough for me. I thought that was the point of a personal blog, but maybe I'm wrong there too...

All I wanted to do was get out the negative feelings and move on. At this point, while I'm still disappointed about that interaction and definitely regret going to this convention at all (I definitely wouldn't have if I'd known he wouldn't show much interest in his older characters), I'm mostly over it and I'm moving on. It happened, it was a bad time, and it's over. It doesn't make me 'hate' Neil Newbon or think ill of him nor would I discourage people from meeting Neil if that's what they want. You're right, he doesn't owe me anything. I acknowledged in my previous response and extensively in the tags on the original that I still think Neil was very nice and I know I'm the outlier in all of this. It was a long day. He was probably really tired. He'd already met so many people that day alone. It was the end of the day. Et cetera, et cetera. Like, there are so many variables here that contributed to that interaction winding up bad for me and I don't blame Neil for them.

TL;DR: *I* had a bad time and just wanted to vent with an art piece that made *me* feel better, but I don't hate Neil nor do I think Neil's a bad person and I'm glad other people who met him this weekend had a good time with their interactions.

Hope that cleared a few things up...

[scarecrowisms]

it's late and my brain is a mess and i watched 10x22 earlier and i need to post a ramble about dean's reaction to charlie dying and how extremely interesting and frustrating it is to me (this is not an organized post by any means this is me needing to throw my thoughts into the void. felt silly might delete/edit)

when they're giving charlie a hunter's funeral and dean says it should've been sam, i'm going to assume that reaction is influenced by the mark of cain because otherwise what the fuck.

they've already established that they would do literally anything to save the other, going all the way back to when dean made the one-year crossroads deal for sam's life back in season two. he made that deal even after he had previously been so judgmental of everyone who made a crossroads deal, specifically the guy who made a deal similar to his, because he viewed it as selfish and thoughtless. he did it regardless because again, they would do literally anything to save the other

of course sam would use every resource they've got to try to remove the mark of cain before it eventually causes dean's demise, and it's not like he intentionally put charlie in harm's way. he took measures to make sure he was safe, it was charlie that ran off. keeping it a secret from dean was definitely not the nicest move, but he wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of saving dean's life, not even dean.

and i'm not saying charlie's death was her own fault either, i honestly see it as a no-fault situation beyond the guy that killed her. it was bad circumstance resulting from bad circumstance, and i was actually expecting it to be a lot worse after seeing tons of people blaming sam for her death.

and also dean refused to let sam complete the trials and close the gates of hell because it would mean sam would die. even when sam was fully prepared and willing to do it, ready to make the sacrifice for the greater good. but dean didn't see it that way because that meant his little brother would die.

i guess that does go along with the theme of them being pissed at people for saving their life when it takes a sacrifice, understandably.

they would do and sacrifice anything to save the other. this has been well established. you would think they would have consciously realized that by now. dean saying that it should've been sam just caught me so incredibly off guard, and maybe it shouldn't have but i'm having a hard time understanding it

[bluravenite]

You can totally ignore this if you want, i just saw that poat you added to about fandom bullying and idk, I am just... gah, i wish this fandom wasnt so cruel. I had so much fun here when i first joined and i didnt really know what i was getting into except for the fact that I loved ghost! now i still love ghost, but i am in the process of de-ghosting my blog. I feel like every day I see people bullying one another in this community, and I feel like every time i post my writing, I risk drawing attention and being bullied. Congratulations to those assholes! they'll kill the fandom because folks will be too scared to share work.

I know fandom always has some drama, but none of the others I have been involved in have been this cruel. I dont know if people are just getting crueller, or whether Ghost somehow just attracts cruel people. I hate to think the latter, because the band is drenched in love. But i fear to think the former, though i worry it might be so.

I don't think it's the band itself Hun, I think definitely it's the sort of bubble the fandom itself has created.

Cruel people exist everywhere and it's unfortunate when they end up finding each other in a bubble, ghost has gotten so big that its really hard to regulate and you will have lots of unregulated environments where people don't feel comfortable.

You as a member can do what you need to endure YOUR safety, but that sometimes isn't enough or as effective when other triggers (i.e. hate anons) are still present in the environment.

I completely feel you and I am so sorry that you've been through this and feel like this as well... Ghost used to be my comfort fandom, and I am still so in love with the romanticized idea of it, I miss talking about our OC ghouls with friends, writing and reading about them and siblings of sin life in the abbey, about ghouls going on tours and being so silly with each other. About the love and romance that allowed people in the fandom to find new ways to love themselves and explore their sexuality and even bodies. I still think that was beautiful.

Unfortunately we lost that energy at some point, maybe with the hate anons to the writers, attacks to artists, maybe with the hypersexualization of presenting gay male ghouls and dislike for the female presenting ghouls. Maybe with the over-sexualization of unmasked members of the real band, which should've never happened.

The other day I found this clip from a Neil Newbon stream (voice of Astarion in BG3 and Heisenberg in REV) where he goes on to say some headcanons are just.. wrong, and you have to learn to separate fact from fiction. These are ultimately characters that the original creators wrote, while you as a fan artist have free range to give them physical designs and traits you also have to be aware that you need to keep a somewhat level of separation, AND decency between your own headcanons and the real canon.

I think ultimately that's where this fandom goes wrong... There is no separation because people get so fucked up into their headcanons in their made up mutual bubbles that I feel like they never go out to touch grass and maybe take a minute to evaluate their content.

Not that I'm saying it shouldn't exist. Just that it's important to understand WHY it was made, WHY, it exists. Is this ghoul hypersexual?? Okay well BUT WHY????? Who are they, how do they feel about it, when did they realize, how did it affect them??? That's never talked about, it's always "ghoul has lit of sex with same sex ghoul again!!!!" It's like plotless porn at that point, fetish. It becomes gross.

I ended up kinda ranting here but I made some good points so I hope this at least helps invite more discussion about what the frick has been happening here lately..

Lots of love and encouragement to you anon, and to anyone else who has felt this way at least once in the fandom. We deserve a decent creative space💀

[xamaxenta]

I know we've seen people talk about how it would be if Sabo and Marco met and love how that could possibly be with the darker angst themes. Imagine how it would be though if Sabo and Masked Deuce ever met for angst themes. A lot of us have read the episode A for Ace and got feels from it but it must be even worse for Deuce. Deuce was the first one Ace met on his journey once he left Dawn island. Saying that he would be there for Ace and live a life of no regrets and whichever version of episode A you've seen there's definitely some feelings from Deuce's side of it. Yet when marineford happens Deuce couldn't get to Ace when he needed him most and most likely realized he would be useless too. He couldn't do anything to help save the one that had brought so much into his world and was ready to give up back on sixis. Now the only thing Deuce feels like he can do is find the Mera Mera no mi and keep it safe to ensure that nobody can tarnish those flames that Ace once wielded and made shine so brightly like the sun. Sabo and Deuce meeting in Dressrosa and Deuce not wanting to accept Sabo as the one who has Ace's fruit now. To Deuce that fruit should've belonged to him, he was the one that was there since the beginning of Ace's journey. He was the one that got to see Ace take that fruit and make it into his own and this guy, this man that claims to be the same Sabo that Ace lost years ago just swoops in and takes it? Taking those flames that belonged to his captain and it be alright? The potential for this type of ship in a darker manner is just as good as it would be for Sabo and Marco.

The potential is limitless but also like the incredible concept of Sabo being so out of Deuce’s league its not like he can pick a fight and come out winning

But

Deuce doesnt care he has nothing left to lose as opposed to Sabo who has alot

My interpretation would be placated by the flames, the knowledge that Ace is safe with him Sabo is actually calmer, more at peace in a quiet grieving sort of way

Sorry the violence the anger the lovehate toxic chokeleash me thing is reserved for Marco and Sabo post canon marineford only imo, two animals tearing each other apart because of their love and loss for the sun himself

Anyway leads me to say a deuce sabo version would be an odd kind of arrangement, Sabo lets Deuce kick his ass until he feels guilty, until all he sees is Ace lying beneath him with a black eye and a split lip and then Sabo surges up to comfort this hollow empty space within Deuce who , has nothing to lose clings onto the offered comfort he doesnt apologise only to the vision of Ace hes concocted

Maybe Deuce ends up loving Sabo, Sabo however wont feel the same

[anxiety-thyme]

First Friday fic night is here again!

For a refresher you can see what this is about here. Last month was Snow White With the Red Hair .

In last month's poll you degenerates voted for Real Slow Burn - 100k words or more. I should've known. Since we are focused on fic type we are going to hit a few different fandoms.

Voting for next month's topic at the end!

I had a couple of requirements for myself when choosing fics this month otherwise I wouldn't have known where to start and the list would be too long. It's already really long tbh.

The 100K word count had to be for the single fic - not for a series.

The wordcount had to actually be above 100k. No cheating with those 98K fics.

The ship had to be a main part of the story, not an afterthought.

No more than two fics per fandom.

I have to have read it more than once. <- I'm aware of what this says about me. I'm the degenerate actually.

If you've read some of the fics I've posted previously you might have picked up on the very specific vibe in most of what I recommend. Yes, I am just now realizing it and no I don't want to talk about it. Yes maybe a hug wouldn't hurt. We actually have a few that won't leave you emotionally damaged this month!

I thought I'd start with some fandoms we haven't hit yet. As always mind the tags. There is definitely smut.

My Hero Academia

Pairing: Todoroki/Bakugou I'll admit, I was unsure whether to include any MHA since the fandom can be A. Lot. especially when ships are involved. That said, I live in my own little corner of the internet and there are some phenomenal writers hidden away if you go look for it.

The lights are all out (its a big big city), by shaekspeares

"Izuku leaves for America for six months; Shouto fights his way into the Top 5 Hero Rank, takes out Godzilla, reconnects with a criminal, adopts a cat, and has several belated emotional crises (not necessarily in that order). He might also be in love with Bakugou, but that's another problem altogether.

Izuku probably shouldn't leave him to his own devices anymore."

I enjoy everything shaekspeares writes in the fandom. Their prose is beautiful and their work feels fully rested within the universe while telling compelling and emotional stories.

Candy Canes and Christmas Crackers, by bigdorkenergy

“So….your huge family somehow all think that you have a long term boyfriend and are insisting that you bring him to your week long Christmas family reunion?” Despite his efforts the end of his question raised in pitch as Kirishma swallowed down a giggle.

“How does that even happen?” Kaminari added popping some of the hashbrowns Bakugou made into his mouth.

_

OR your classic holiday romcom where Bakugou needs a fake boyfriend to bring home for Christmas and Todoroki is willing to take that bullet."

I'm not big on Christmas fics. Not for any particular reason I don't think? But, I am a big sucker for fake dating fics. This is adorable and so pure as these two do the whole friends to lovers thing.

Okay. Are you ready for this?

BBC Sherlock

(I know, right?? What is this 2012??)

Pairing: Sherlock/Watson

Performance In a Leading Role, by Mad_Lori

"Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?"

I know I've said this a few times, but I don't read a lot of true AUs but of course there are always exceptions. This is done so well that I don't think you have to be in the fandom or know anything about the characters at all and you would still enjoy it. The slow build from distain to love is really well done.

Community

Paring: Annie/Jeff (don't @me) I know Community isn't everyone's thing but there is some great fic out there just sayin'

It's Always Open Season on Princesses, Elsiesnuffin

"Annie is given the opportunity to do some travelling over the summer after her second year at Greendale."

This is very Roman Holiday-esque. It's a fun romp through Italy while Jeff figures his shit out. Jeff figuring his shit out is my bias. Also, is that a fanfiction.net link I see? 👀

Attack on Titan

pairing: Erwin/Levi

Small Mercies, by Calacreda

"Levi misses Erwin in the margin between sleeping and waking. He thinks about Erwin when he steps out of a hot bath into cold air. He imagines Erwin’s new life, his new vocation, his new family, when the seasons change, or when he blows the candles out, or now, as the sun sets. The only space he does so is a space of a threshold. It does not feel good or bad. It does not feel happy or sad. Levi realises now, however, that this is not the same as it feeling nothing."

Six years after the War ends and they part ways, Levi finds himself at Erwin's door again."

I cannot express how beautiful this is. I've read it so many times and I still cry each time. Levi feels so raw and real as someone who has never really known family and doesn't have the words to put to what he wants and how he feels.

Tiny Anthem, by onthearrow

"Levi swore to Erwin he would kill the Beast Titan. But how can he follow such an order when it's Erwin himself he pulls from its nape?"

Okay, imagine that you have spent years recovering from the grief of losing someone you loved, healing from a toxic relationship, learning to be comfortable in your skin, taking on a role you never asked for and fighting to create a space for yourself in the world. Got it? Now imagine the person you were grieving turns out to not be dead. And also, they don't know who you are. Oh and they have been brainwashed by the enemy. That feels good, right?

I am embarrassed by how many times I've read this. Every time a new chapter came out I would start from the beginning again. I finally promised myself 5 chapters ago that I wasn't allowed to start all over from the beginning until the final chapter comes out. It should be soooon.

Teen Wolf

pairing: Stiles/Derek

Home, by TheTypeWriterGirl

"January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?"

Here is the thing. Not only is this fantastic, but the companion piece that is about Derek and Stiles' parents is also good. I didn't think I'd be able to read a fic about parents who are almost non-existent in the show without the characters from the show in it. I did here and I couldn't put it down.

The Hollow Moon, by thepsychicclam

"It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people."

I know this makes me awful but I'm a sucker for post Nogitsune Stiles. Nightmares? Yes. Disassociation from reality? Bring it. Add in a dash of Derek recognizing what he's going through and I'm there.

There are two fandoms missing that I would have loved to include however:

Snow White With the Red Hair: There are only 2 100+ Obiyuki fics on AO3 so they didn't feel in the spirit of this month's recommendations.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Let's be real most of what I have bookmarked is just straight up porn and not terribly long. That said, there is one really good story that I love but when I went back and looked at the word count turns out it is only like 50K words?

Tell me how much you like them on a scale of Abba to shoulder cat!

Do you like looking at fics by themes or do you prefer by fandom? Let me know.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Review Blurbs: Barbie (2023)

~General Thoughts~

-I thought this movie would be like... PG. And then it got really emotional when Barbie was looking through Gloria's memories of the days when her and her daughter were at their happiest before Sasha grew up. And then Barbie got called a fascist. So

-Margot Robbie is an insanely talented actor. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure how well the movie would've done for me if I wasn't invested in the main character but Margot completely ate the role and made the story of Stereotypical Barbie very endearing to watch

-The pacing was surprisingly good for me, I'm usually really picky about pacing but they were able to balance out transitioning from the silly stuff to serious and back again pretty well, Greta Gerwig you have my applause

-Its an interesting detail that the Real World is still intentionally somewhat unrealistic and caricature-ish similar to the Barbie world is; not sure if that's just Greta's style or if there was a reason for it, made the movie a little jarring imo but I'd love to know why she did it and what effect she was going for

-The fact that Barbie wasn't interested in Ken and rejected him and it was treated as a good thing is just *chef's kiss*

-The Kens fight scene being a colorful musical number with eccentric choreography was so fun to watch I want more

-I don't care what you've been through, nothing could've prepared anyone for that gynecology line. Its such a genius way to remind you that Barbie now has to deal with the biological changes of becoming human. 10/10

-Allan beating up the construction worker Kens was the best moment 10/10

-Speaking of Allan, I loved how Allan was a metaphor for someone who doesn't fit into the gender binary. He was the only non Barbie/Ken, had his own unique name and was always uncomfortable/disappointed with the world around him no matter who was in charge, which was a great way to subtly insert this kind of character. He happily sided with the Barbies to help take down the Kens, embracing all the pink and cheering alongside them when they won, while also looking very sad during the part where the Kens were realizing they failed. Just all of it screamed gender-non conforming to me. I've seen some interpretations saying Allan is a representation of a gay man (being more of a "Ken" presentation wise but finding more of a space among women and being deeply uncomfortable with patriarchy perpetuated by straight men) and some saying he's nonbinary (wanting to leave Barbieland behind and never being satisfied no matter who was in charge); either way, what they did with Allan was very cool and I'm glad some queerness, even if subtle and less prominent, was included in the movie)

-Similarly, Weird Barbie isn't getting nearly enough love. She was one of the most fun characters for me (Kate McKinnon magic, duh) and she like Allan could definitely represent someone out of the cishetero-normative/gender binary (I've seen people saying she's very queer-coded and it honestly makes sense, she tends to dress and act in more un-feminine ways which I think says butch lesbian but its up to interpretation) I am also very gay for her give her more attention cause she deserves it, seriously

-John Cena mermaid

-Simu Liu Ken constantly antagonizing Ryan Gosling Ken over Barbie's attention and being the better Ken within Barbieland is a metaphor for how patriarchy will put women against each other for the attention of men and make women fight each other too much to realize who the real enemy is

-Margot Robbie being acknowledged as "not the best to make this point about ugliness" was fantastic lmao, love the meta-narration

-The way Ken's story arc and the commentary around patriarchy with the incel-pipeline was very strong, and I respect Greta for critiquing it the way she did (I made a full post here )

-Ken and Ken should've kissed. Any of them. All of them.

-Barbie deciding to be human in the end despite her whole journey being about wanting to be a perfect Barbie doll again and her being terrified of flat feet and cellulite but then telling that old woman how beautiful she was and watching humans be normal and mimicking their expressions because even though its scary she wants to feel the way humans do because she sees the beauty in it and its a love letter to women and to people and the complexity of our messy species omfg I'm gonna cry other people said it better than me so go look at their stuff

-Barbie helping out Ken despite everything he'd done because she didn't want things to go back to how they were when Barbies ruled the world, she wanted something different, better, and she helped the person she had every right to want to hurt because we're supposed to be better than those who hurt us

~Criticisms~

-As an add-on to the caricature blurb, I felt a bit weird watching cause Greta's style recreated facets of misogyny as a caricature, so things like patriarchal brainwashing, sexual assault and other very harmful misogynist rhetoric were told in a slapstick way. I was uncomfortable throughout a lot of it, and I'm still deciding if I consider it a genuine criticism to have such matters told in this way or if its just personal preference; would like to know other thoughts if you're willing to share. Regardless, just be aware of it if that stuff's triggering to you so you're prepared for it

-Loved the emphasis on uplifting femininity in Barbie, and I understand the metaphor behind the change, but I can't help feel they pulled a Breakfast Club with Sasha going from her all black attire to suddenly very feminine and with makeup. Being gender non-conforming isn't just for queer people, lots of women are like this and it feels like media makes it seem like this kind of woman is impossible. Not all women wear makeup, not all women are feminine, and I would love for a more masculine/GNC woman character to be able to actually be that. I'll forgive it a bit since Barbies' styles kinda revolve around makeup, and Weird Barbie was consistently butch, just wish characters that are brought up with the prospect of gender-nonconformity could actually stay that way

~Final Thoughts~

Surprisingly good! Don't get me wrong, movies with this style can be good for sure but with the recent surge of mediocre movies I didn't have too much faith. However, I was very happy with how enjoyable and passionate it was. Highly recommend if you like caricature-type works, and/or want to get into some basic feminist ideology in a more fun way that's still very meaningful and heartfelt. Barbie is not just a feminist critique, but a love letter to women, girl hood, and the complexities of humans and how beautiful that can be <3

[ageless-aislynn]

Last line tag game

Tagged by @thephaeronsforge aka @sarnakhwritesthings Thanks so much! ❤

Kai smiled.

"Recreation" chapter 3, allllmost done but not quite there. 🤞😣🤞

Since that was so small, literally almost not able to even be much smaller, lol, I thought I'd turn to its sibling fic "15 Minutes" chapter 7 also in progress and

"There's no such thing," you muttered.

Yep, also pretty short sooooo how do you feel about the opening to the original fic that's also part of my Camp NaNo? Yeah, hardly a last line, I know, but well... It's never going to see the light of day in any form so I thought it would be fun to share it here. 👀🤷‍♀️

It began as an idle idea for a very AU Mass Effect: Andromeda reader fic that I knew I'd never actually write and post because it was simply pulling waaaaay too far away from the source, dumping all of the lore and such, so what was the point? Then I realized, hey, that's means it's FREE REAL ESTATE for making it my own thing, right? 😛

However, for this purpose, I put the ME:A names, references, etc. back in and made it a reader fic again. It also seems to read kinda like a Halo hybrid because that's what ya girl's been writing over in Fanficville so...? 🤷‍♀️😉

Under a read more because of the length. I'll also mention here so it's not necessary to click through that I'm tagging anybody who'd like to do this. *boops your nose politely* 😉 Definitely let me know if you do, though, 'cause I'd love to read it! 🤗

The first thing you noticed was Alec Ryder standing ramrod-stiff at attention, awaiting your arrival as if you were a five-star general and he was a cadet worried he hadn't shined his boots properly enough. "Ma'am," he said, his tone stern but polite. He offered his arm as if he really didn't want to. Interesting. Had you read his file wrong? He'd been out here alone far longer than he should've been allowed to be. The prospect of bare fingertips brushing the back of his hand should've had him quivering in anticipation. You'd heard of others having to actually stun-stop their Pathfinders at their initial meeting. It had never happened to you but… It was part of your training to know it could. But clearly not here, not today. You'd worn your gloves, just in case. You stepped out of the shuttle with your lone rucksack in one hand and put the other on the sleeve of his forearm, letting him assist you down as if you were royalty. Your dead implant flared in the back of your brain despite the double barrier of fabric between you. He was shielding hard but this was what you did, what you were, and wisps of emotions were leaking through. He was… anxious. "Welcome to Heleus," he said, adding your title and last name. You thought about correcting him with your first name but sensed he preferred the formality so merely said, "Thank you." He broke contact as soon as politeness allowed, folding his hands behind his back. "I'm afraid I can't give you a tour right now, I have duties to attend to. But Sam can guide you to your room, give you the lay of the land. Most of the station is still in shutdown but he'll turn the lights on for you if you'd like to look around." "Ah, all right then," you said but you were saying it to the crisp, neatly-pressed back of his black and red uniform as he gave a quick nod and strode away. You were supposed to be ready for anything but you decided to allow yourself a short but heartfelt thought of What in the actual hell? Then you tucked it away and went looking for Sam. Maybe he would be glad to see you? It would be nice if someone was.

Alec Ryder for visual reference. 😎 Andromeda has a LOT of character types that I love but this particular idea felt like it paired SO nicely with Mr. Emotionally Repressed Pathfinder Sr. so I, um, yoinked him out of canon and, you know, repurposed him. As one does. 😐😂

[yamabukikana]

mid-january updates [wips]

so, it's already mid january. but the problem is that i have lot of shit to do: study for an exam for this month, prepare for my internship, do an assignment that's due next month. i might not be able to write my planned fics that much because of my school and work sched.

however, i'm very committed already to some ideas, which means that i've begun cobbling some stuff together in notion beyond writing 1-2 synopsis lines, BUT ALSO!! ideas and outlines!! this applies mainly for the kny fics, but now i'm mulling over some jjba fic ideas as well? my gf and i finished part 4 and we're onto part 5 now, which i'm like. Whoa. all of the cunts in just one part???? giorno???? bruno???? HELLO???? need to write.

anyway,

a finalized list of wips i'm pretty enthralled by and their writing statuses:

The Voice of Thy Brother's Blood [kny]: tragic michikatsu-centric fic where he views his relationship with yoriichi as they join the demon slayer corps, and slowly develop forbidden feelings. largest progress so far because i've jotted down ideas, and actually referenced the story progression for Tragedy (from The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories) to adapt for michikatsu. i just need to slowly fill in and organize the ideas to slot them into each stage of the story progression. thinking abt this fic does make me regret some stuff about the yoriichi ot3 fic. i should've included more of yoriichi thinking about michikatsu in that fic. i also wrote down michikatsu's dialogues from the manga + made a spotify playlist, so it's quite joever for me, as in i'm definitely writing this fic whether i like or not! good apollo has willed it so!

post-canon sanegiyuu [kny]: i've jotted down a lot of ideas, but especially what will drive and finalize the relationship progression of sanegiyuu (through, guess what? ding ding ding: processing sanemi's grief yippee). this is such a kum brand fic LMAO

jotaro/rohan in part 4 [jjba]: idk i thought aroace* rohan experiencing attraction/feelings/fondness for jotaro and this idea grabbed me by the balls very thoroughly! i'm semi-contemplating if i should include kakyoin in here too, but i think part 4 jotaro/(aroace)rohan/kakyoin deserves its own fic. plus, it would be interesting to see how part 4 would be if kakyoin is thrown into the fray (definitely not thinking about long-haired kakyoin nope).

josuke/okuyasu [jjba]: i love okuyasu and i love josuyasu and i love thinking about okuyasu wanting a girlfriend but not realizing that he has josuke and "close your eyes bro" "ok bro" "what do you see bro" "nothing bro" "that's my world without you bro" "bro...". they're silly punk bros who love each other very much...

i think that should be it? i need to reread kny for more references, and maybe watch that rohan in louvre ova just to get more rohan refs, but given my workload i just have my fingers crossed that i will get through this.

anyway, hope everyone is having a good mid-january. i'm excited about the ceasefire, but this means we cannot forget to spread/donate to the palestinian gofundmes. i would also encourage everyone to donate to crisps for esims for gaza or to gaza soup kitchen!

[dinosaurchurch]

2024 is over.

There was a lot that I had happening behind the scenes that I didn't talk about. Last year was definitely interesting, life went faster than I wanted it to at times and I felt the stress (I literally now have a bald spot on the back of my head to show for it thankfully the hair is starting to grow back). If there's a single word I could describe 2024 with it would've been "shift".

A lot shifted. I moved towns back last March, I got a couple of new skills under my belt with regards to my day job, picked up old hobbies I thought were long gone, dropped off some bad habits and frankly figured out a timeline on what do I want to achieve during the course of my thirties. For a long time I felt like I was just here riding the wave and there were times where I was getting tossed with the tide but now I'm determined to do what I want spite everything else.

I've struggled with sometimes being too complacent for my own good, letting things slide because I've got too much on my plate dropping everything - perhaps too much. That's what happened over 2024, with depression nipping at my heel I felt like I wasn't able to balance everything that I should've. There was a lot that simply fell to the wayside, the biggest one being my lifting (which might surprise people considering I've retained most of my strength, yay me?).

One of the biggest things I came to terms with this year is ultimately the dawning feeling that I'm still by myself. That regardless even if I share a blood bond with someone, I'm different than the people that raised me and now there's things that I know better than they do. To grow past your own parents is a bizarre feeling but one thing I told myself is if I have a family of my own some day, I don't want to make the same mistakes that my fam did with me.

The kind of wisdom I've gained since even the beginning of my thirties is something I know I'll carry with me for the rest of my life. To truly feel like I'm an adult and not just pretending is wild, all of the glitter of childhood has left - that rosy coloured lens that I saw certain people and places has been entirely wiped away but yet I'm not cynical about it. Embracing in the fact that life isn't glamourous as I once thought has grounded me and made me appreciate the small efforts that go in to making my simple life enjoyable. I didn't think I stressed out over much but apparently I did.

I have no regrets on how the previous year folded but it felt like a whirlwind. It was a stark reminder of how little I still know and how distant I feel emotion wise with the events that transpired. It's that tug-o-war I have with my inner world that I know I can't win but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try; I can't let every intrusive, negative thought consume me because if it does I'll end up back at the bottom and I don't want to see that place again. I was there a few years ago, I promised myself I'd do everything in my power to keep my shine if I could help it.

I think the most jarring thing about 2024 is realizing how much of a rosy lens people have on me. I have to admit that I dropped a friendship that I had partly due to the bizarre pedestal I was placed upon by the other person, to be idolized is not something I desire in the slightest. I want people to know that I'm like them even with my quirks, I'm only human - that's partly why I write these entries and make them public, I could keep it all to myself but why? Especially these days where we only get to see a sliver of what life really is like thanks to social media and what glittery nonsense people curate for others. I don't care to post myself up as a shining example of whatever, I'll be myself with warts and all. Alas, I digress.

Last year wasn't all bad, it was kind of a fine balance between being amazing and wanting to just scream into the void. I may not have had panic attacks or an existential crisis every other week but it definitely felt like I was wading neck deep in crap at times. Faithfully I can say my mental health continues to stabilize and improve from where it was in the beginning of 2022 (The lowest point I've ever been in my life). I got to appreciate the small yet significant stuff over the course of 2024; savouring the moments and basking in the fact that I'm still here to enjoy them.

A lot changed over 2024, almost too much. Having a best friend move to the mainland (I still miss her so much), everything that happened with my day job (IYKYK), and getting plopped down in a different town a lot sooner than originally planned (I detest moving and I pray I won't have to do it for a long damn time). At least I got to explore my surroundings considering I wasn't really that familiar with the neighbourhood until I bought a house here (which turned out to be great - I found a new favourite coffee shop even).

The biggest thing that was a stability point in the turbulence of the past twelve months was the bond I share with my partner (and soon to be husband), I cannot stress enough how lucky I am to have someone like him. Honestly the support he provides is a gift and is something I cannot stress how thankful I am for. I might feel like I've grown away from some of my family but those I share a friendship with even if I don't talk every day with them, I can say I've gotten closer with. That's one thing that I count my blessings for is the tight knit social circle I do have whether it's the pals irl or online, I wouldn't be here without them.

I guess this leads to the question - since 2024 is finished - where do I go from here? What do I have planned for 2025, what goals am I looking to achieve? A fair amount I think - getting back to the gym is definitely one of the biggest. I did dabble into cycling the past summer, which was a lot of fun and I absolutely want to do it again.

I finished the prequel arc to DIVE, I feel like I'm going through a bit of 'development hell' with the comic version. There's a lot of revamping for designs I have to do considering I'll be drawing up the whole thing myself (big project I know). Currently I've been chipping away at the inverse version considering I really enjoy writing and the brainstorming phase of coming up with the different plot lines - something I'm sure I'll always be doing to some extent. Keep your eyes peeled for that one.

Besides my creative hobbies, I just want to get better at what I'm already doing and kick some bad habits to the curb. I'm always looking for self improvement so this year is no different in that regard. I just have to keep myself on track when the going gets tough. Self care is still about doing what's hard in the short term to reap the benefits in the long term, and that's what I think 2025 is going to hold for me.

Setting myself on a good path, I'm excited to chomp into another year. Thirty is definitely the new twenty.

Cheers.

And Happy New Year.

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Speak Now Taylor's Version Thoughts!!!

dude this post is longgggg

Mine TV:

Mine stolen version has been my favorite song recently so I'm really excited!

AHHHHHHH 20 SECONDS!!!

this is like better than Christmas to me

it's just the "ah-ah-ah-ah"s and I'm already crying

she sounds so much more grown up 🥹

I want you to know that I'm actually crying rn

I only just realized that SNTV is almost 2hrs long... it's ten now and I have to be up at six....

Sparks Fly TV:

awwww Sparks Fly's canvas is her singing it in Nashville 💜

the country twang 🥹😭

fun fact: this song makes me think of dean winchester

I would meet her in the pouring rain literally any day of the week

omg I just saw the SNTV post and she looks so pretty

Back To December TV:

I love this song so much

I can definitely hear the differences a lot more in this one

BRB crying

somehow this one sounds even more regretful than the original

there's a lot less of the orchestral strings which I'm kinda sad about

I'm sorry, her little voice shake on understand???? I'm sobbing

yeah there's def more guitar

Speak Now TV:

omg title track time bby

her vocals have matured so much 🥹

it almost sounds like 19yo taylor is doing backing vocals in the chorus

she didn't do the giggle??

Ok she's forgiven, somehow the bridge got better

nvm I thought the giggle was in a different spot, it's still there

Dear John TV:

side-eyes john mayer

tears just tears 😭😭

the way she says "I should've know" I'm bawling

I literally blacked out for that entire song

Mean TV:

dancing to the little banjo moment while still crying from dear John lol

she sounds so petty at the bridge lmfaoooo

The Story Of Us TV:

I wonder if she's gonna keep "next chapter" and "the end"

omfg she did!!! she sounds so good!!!!

pop-rock is where she shines

I love the guitar solo so fucking much

I love her "the end" so much

Never Grow Up TV:

this one is gonna make me ugly cry

the bridge is gonna kill me

I literally curled up in a ball and cried for the entire song

Enchanted TV:

I really hope we get more speak now on the setlist now that Taylor's version is out

the amount of joy the TV of this song gives me is indescribable

nearly bridge time

*the woman was too stunned to speak*

it's so good guys

Better Than Revenge TV:

omfg the intro is so so good

I don't mind the lyric change, I understand that it didnt reflect current taylor anymore

also it fits really well

altho I saw someone say that it was a fountain pen line in a gel pen song and I do agree

Innocent TV:

I made it to the first chorus before I started crying lol

I want you to know that I am fighting to get through this album for you guys, I am so so so tired

Haunted TV:

this one I'm really excited for

omg the echoing????

it's giving dark cave in the forest while it's raining vibes

the "I know" repetion?!?!?!

she sounds so angry in the last chorus and I love it

Last Kiss TV:

not one of my faves from the original SN so this is gonna be hard for me to get through this tired

yeah I zoned out for that entire song lol

Long Live TV:

I'm gonna cry (I actually didn't, idk how)

I want a long Live tattoo

I think this will really cement that

I can't get one yet because of reasons but by god do I want one

this song holds such a special place in my heart cause I associate it so much with my friends

Ours TV:

I think I've listened to the stolen version of this song like twice??

tbh I love the chorus but the rest of this song is kinda meh to me

Superman TV:

same category as ours

not my fave

Electric Touch feat. FOB TV FTV:

I need this song injected into my veins, oh my lord

taylor and Patrick sound so fucking good together

again like I blacked out for this song lol

When Emma Falls In Love TV FTV:

a piano moment??

it's giving folklore

"jokes about the ways this one could go wrong" me

"little miss sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain" ow

now I wanna know who Emma is

"takes on the pain and bears it on her own" again ow

🥹😭😭

I Can See You TV FTV:

I have heard a little about this one but all I know is that it's so it goes and dress's raunchier older sister

synths??!?!

omg this was written in 2010?????????? miss girl????

"up against the wall with me" 👀😳, taylor-- what?

I did not know she had this in her, holy shit

ok I def know why this wasn't on the original

"jacket on the floor" girl 😳

"start behaving myself" what the actual fuck?!?!!

I'm gonna need some time to process this lol

Castles Crumbling feat Hayley Williams TV FTV:

oh this is gonna hurt isn't it

I'm 20 seconds in and I know this is gonna hurt

this fuckin hurts

again, I blacked out lol

dude this is how I feel about my family, I went from being the golden child to being hated by my dad's side because I look and act too much like my mom

I only know like two songs by Hayley but her voice fits the song and she sounds great

Foolish One TV FTV:

damn I'm only on the first verse and she did not need to at me like that

god ow

"I will do my best to seem bulletproof" FOR FUCK SAKE TAYLOR JUST CALL THIS SONG SPRITE WHY DONT YOU

😦 -> me the entire time

dude this fucking hurt

the end made me cry 😭

Timeless TV FTV:

it came on while I was in the shower so I don't have any notes besides that it's an adorable song

[chirpsythismorning]

Has anyone theorized why the Duffers chose to focus on Ten (10) specifically at the start of season 4?

Because looking back, how he was framed at the beginning of s4, compared to the end, makes it obvious he was a red herring.

In 4x01, we get our first (less detailed) recount of the massacre at Hawkins Lab, with the focus singling out Brenner and Ten. While I think there could definitely be important ideas hidden in the subtext during those scenes between them, Ten doesn't seem to hold any importance to the overall story, as his own character, beyond what's given to us in that premiere.

Because in 4x07, when we get a more detailed recount of the massacre, we're now viewing this moment from El's perspective at that same time Brenner and Ten first come into view. But it's at this moment the audience realizes that it was never about Ten.

By the end that same episode, Ten is merely canon fodder. He was given almost all of our focus, and then he was gone. And that was it. But I think that's because it's obvious he was never meant to be important to the overall story in the first place.

Ten was placed at the start of the story, not only as a distraction, but to also act as usable early promo footage.

No, but seriously. It's quite common for shows to post the first 10 or so minutes on YouTube before the actual premiere of a new season. In fact, Stranger Things has done this with the first 8 minutes of s1 & 4.

Planning for marketing and advertising is so fucking essential to Stranger Things roll-out, they would've probably wrote and filmed those scenes, knowing that it could, and very likely would, be used early-on in the promotion circuit (because later scenes in the season are usually filled with spoilers), which meant whatever they focused on couldn't give too much away. If anything it needed to make you think you were getting a lot in the foreground, when in reality the true answers were tiptoeing in the background.

What I think makes the choice to focus on Ten at the start of the season so interesting though, is that he's the number right before Eleven.

Our focus, right from the jump, is specifically on the number that has proximity to Eleven...

And so why do that? Why focus on Ten and then drop him into obscurity?

Maybe to distract us from the fact that the number we should've really been focusing on also has similar proximity to Eleven (literally and figuratively and numerically)... Mayhaps Twelve??

I promise you guys, I was minding my business, doing research for a completely different post, when I noticed a detail that expanded on my curiosity in regards to Ten.

Now, I'm not the kind of byler that tries to add up a bunch of numbers and say that it means something, and that's honestly mostly because I suck at math (and so no hate to the bylers that do that bc that's more of a me problem). And yet despite that, I really don't think this is even reaching. I think they made the choice to focus on the numbers they did and the way that they did, for a reason.

Although Ten didn't give us much of a purpose beyond s4 misleading opener vibes, he still started off the season with a fleeting, but still larger focus than the rest of the numbers besides El.

And so besides Ten and Eleven, which other number played a big role this season?

Two.

Though that's not to say Two operates as a red herring. I would say he actually plays a substantial role the entire season. He has a beginning, middle and end to his arc that stretches the entire season and feels layered in ways that make it clear he was more than just a blip to keep us busy.

And so, for the first episode of s4, these specific numbers were credited first before the rest, as they apparently played the biggest roles. And so, I just find it kind of ironic that:

Do you see it?

Okay, if you're still stuck I'll help you out:

The Duffers have admitted since s4 premiered that a lot of the surprises/answers they're saving for the end of the show, can likely be found within the show itself. This is because, a lot of the choices made, especially in season 4's case, were with the end in mind. And so details that maybe even seemed meaningless or ended up going nowhere, probably had a purpose that went beyond what we assumed when we were first confronted with those ideas. And that was probably the intention. Otherwise the surprise element wouldn't even be there.

Although it might seem like nothing is here, and maybe there isn't. Maybe I am reaching.

I still can't help but feel like these Hawkins lab scenes specifically hold the truth to what is going to play out in season 5.

Because the brothers have also admitted s5 is going to delve into the origins of Hawkins Lab and how Brenner's program went from involving Henry, to evolving and including multiple kids...

Honestly that alone should be enough of an admission that the s4 lab scenes probably hold more answers than we realize. All those choices they made, were made with the truth about Hawkins Lab in the back of their mind.

And so if they're going to make those revelations about the lab in the final season, and s5 is apparently going to also spend a lot of time telling us about Will's disappearance, whatever this all entails has to fit nicely with those scenes of the lab in s4. Because those scenes were extremely recent and also presumably written and talked about beside their outline for s5, meaning that they had every chance to hide the answers in the details... which they've literally admitted to doing by saying the answers to the ending are hidden in the show already... why am I even rambling about this in long form. This isn't a reach if you're actually considering what is in front of us.

That's not to say that we have the full picture yet to comfortably support Twelvegate as a full blown guaranteed theory. Because even though the evidence is astounding, there's still so much missing.

I think the imagery of time/clocks over the seasons being built up, going into the end of the show, and still without really delving into the time/clocks aspect fully, is maybe why I'm so open minded to how they could go about Twelvegate.

What we know about the past regarding Will's childhood along with what happened to Will when he went missing, for all we know might not even be the full truth. And there is some evidence that the facts surrounding Will's disappearance were changed between season 1 and season 2 and so... why was that? Back then fans thought it was just a copy/paste error, but now within the context of twelvegate... it's quite fascinating...

There's also theories Will himself created the upside down? And so, if that were to be the case, in any capacity, I imagine that his role in everything is a lot bigger than we imagine. Like that would make him equally as well known at Hawkins Lab as El.

It's not like we've gotten any imagery like that before, with Will being the center of interest at Hawkins Lab... Oh wait--

It's not like Will has ever been 'the boy who lived' level well known or anything...

But maybe that's because he's literally 'THE BOY WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE' well known!!

WILL BYERS IS THE CHOSEN ONE? WILL BYERS HOLDS THE ANSWERS TO EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN OVERLOOKING AND MISSING FROM THE BEGINNING???

Then there's the fact that Will himself could play a role in how time is going to impact the last season and presumably our perception of the past itself, specifically in relation to Will and his time at Hawkins Lab (possibly).

Lots of fans predict time travel will be involved in some capacity. Though there is a lot of pushback both in the byler fandom and even in the ga at the possibility of this, because I think a lot of people associate time travel in storytelling with entire story resets and so they're scared that time will just start over and everything that occurred over the seasons would become meaningless. And I guess I could see why that would be disappointing.

However, even if time travel plays a role, and I do think it likely will in some way because the foreshadowing is too extensive to not have been intentional, that doesn't mean I think they'll do it in the most conventional or predictable way possible. I think it would have to be way more complex than what most people expect, and it probably wouldn't erase everything they've been through, assuming what they've been through is even the full truth to begin with...