#realizing i definitely should've made my own post now

[bearfrosts]

okay I genuinely haven't read enough of TBC yet to know much about shadowsight yet but I've got a take that may or may not be a hot one (idk, this fandom is new to me): this applies to every single warriors character. all of them. even your most favoritest one that you think has such a deep and complex character arc.

not to totally derail your post, but—

they're all extremely bland with a handful of surface level traits and motivations that never get explored in the way they deserve. this series is a concept bulging at seams reinforced with steel. it's a profit cow series that was never meant to have more than six books, written for children, with a strict limit to word count and arc length, and almost certainly strongarmed by corporate interest at least some of the time.

the books crash through the plot at breakneck speed without ANY time to truly understand the characters or even the setting itself to the fullest degree possible. most worldbuilding is mentioned in passing and much of it is forgotten by the time a few more books roll out. there's that core of it that feels like a cohesive narrative, but it feels like you're being grabbed by the neck and punted into the atmosphere at escape velocity because there's literally just not enough space to do it justice.

i tried to get my friend to read warriors recently, just to see how it reads to an adult that never read it as a child and therefore is not tainted by that nostalgia that really drew me back to the series at this age. he basically told me that it had potential but it never went deep enough. there wasn't enough time to get to know characters or actually understand the extent of what was going on. i absolutely agree; and i think i've realized now that the reason i'm still such a fan is because as a kid i got really attached to these characters and now i've built them into something more complex in my mind.

this series is poorly written and quite grievously restricted by the length of each book. with all the possibilities in the series you could easily write an endlessly continuing series of epic fantasy novels, like a song of ice and fire but following generations and generations of characters through books that thoroughly explore the psyche of the characters, their environment, their relationships, and the setting itself. and that isn't to say that i think it should mirror the themes of a song of ice and fire, to be clear, it was just an example—the story doesn't need to be any darker, any grittier. it's fine! all it needs is more time. it just needs more space to grow and expand.

so i guess my point is that yeah, all the characters are bland as hell. i personally think that's why people in this fandom find it so easy to "hate" on characters—because they're basically shells that are suuuper easy to project wildly varying interpretations of their actions onto because we're simply not given enough canonical exploration of them as a character. but in the end...it doesn't really matter? we all have an idea of these characters, whether we like them or love them, that is expanding infinitely beyond what we are given in canon. and since there's not much to go off in that regard...well, we all latch onto different characters, and build our own versions of them in our heads that we can appreciate. that's the thing about being in a fandom for terribly written media, yknow? it's all about the potential.

90% of shadowsight fans are annoying about him im sorry. your "uwu sad anxious little boy who lost everything" is incredibly bland as a character

[thatkippycat]

It's been awhile...: Stolas x M!GoetiaPrince! Reader Headcanons.

God, this one was so much fun to write, and I very well may turn it into a fic for my ao3 when I get back to posting there. I hope y'all enjoy!

---------------------------------------------------

• Growing up as a goetic demon was an...odd experience.

• You were the son of a duke, and while there were plenty of problems, it wasn't as bad as it was for others.

• You were given the title of prince from a young age, due to a mix of your own natural charm and circumstance.

• This wasn't supposed to happen, as your title should've gone to your older brother, Astratoth.

• However, your father had disappeared and no one knew what happened to him, leaving Astratoth to take on the title of duke and you to take up the title of prince.

• There were a lot of things that your father made you do a lot of things from a young age.

• Magical studies, finance and business courses, even sword fighting and martial arts training.

• You were actually rather good combat wise, even competing in competitions and tournaments.

• It was actually at one of these tournaments that you met a boy that changed your life.

• Satan wanted the chance to show off his, and his protégés' skills, so he called royal demons from across the rings to come watch, and even face them, if any dared.

• You were only a teenager at the time, but you had a fighting spirit and a need to prove yourself, so you, along with your brother made the trip down, only a week after he became a duke, and you a prince.

• It was why you needed to fight, or atleast that's how you felt about it.

• There's a million demons that are sharper than a razor or have silver tounges, but not many would even dare to face off against Satan's finest pupils.

• Before the fighting began, a grand party was held, and you got the first chance to mingle with other goetias as a prince.

• One stood out to you, though.

• Prince Stolas, son of King Paimon, stood on the balcony of the manor the party was held.

• He was alone, staring off into the night sky.

• So, you made your way over to him.

• You desperately needed a break, especially after having to deal with Zagan and Queen Beleth.

• Stolas didn't say anything when you walked outside and stood next to him, he just glanced over at you.

• The only sound that broke the silence was the muffled sounds of schmoozing inside.

• Eventually, you tried to talk to him, and apparently he needed it.

• This boy, probably no more than a year younger than you, broke down in tears.

• You tried to comfort him, and it somewhat succeeded.

• The two of you ended up sitting down and talking and he opened up about everything.

• His arranged marriage to a woman he hated, the problems with his father, and just...everything.

• So, you did the only thing you knew how to; you offered to sneak out of the party with him.

• Stolas was hesitant, but ultimately decided to go with you.

• You ended up just going into a small, family owned diner, and ate together.

• Now with all his problems off his chest, you got to know him really well, and you could already tell you were catching feelings.

• Stolas ended up resting his hand on the table, and you, ever the charmer, moved to rest yours on top of his.

• It took him a second to realize what you had done, but when he did, Stolas turned bright red.

• Stolas mentioned that he thought you were somewhat cute, and that night ended up becoming a date.

• You were his knight in shining armor now, and you were absolutely going to prove it the next day.

• You were going to fight a guy named Tsizoro.

• He wasn't Satan's top student, but he was definitely up there.

• Before the fight, Stolas found you, and gave you a gift. It was a handkerchief with his seal on it.

• You couldn't help but give Stolas a quick kiss. It was worth it to see him blush.

• You didn't win the fight, but you got damn close. You actually did well enough to get the respect of Satan himself.

• You didn't take his offer to learn from him though. You had to go see someone.

• Stolas and you ended up going back to Pride together, you using the excuse of teaching him how to fight. That was an excuse Paimon graciously accepted.

• You were together for a week, and you ended up becoming crazy for eachother.

• Well, until Paimon and Stolas' betrothed, Stella, caught you two.

• You got kicked out really damn fast, and Paimon made sure there was no way you could contact Stolas.

• Defeated and heartbroken, you tried to move on, and finally took Satan's offer.

• It didn't work though, as evidence by the fact that decades later, now with you and Stolas both as adults, you kept up with the story surrounding him.

• Divorce, affair, and who knows how much heartbreak.

• Eventually you decided to go see him.

• You wanted to do it right, so you made sure to get his favorite flowers, hand-picked by yourself.

• Stolas' eyes lit up when he saw you, and you thought he was going to cry.

• The two of you embraced, and even shared a kiss or two.

• Things were so different now, and you weren't sure how things would go.

• But you had eachother, and that was enough for you.

[macsimagines]

THE KISAKI YANDERE POST WAS SO GOOD ?? I NEED TO SEE A PART 2 LIKE WHERE HE FOUND OUT YOU ABORTED THE BABY I NEED TO KNOW IF HE WOULD GET ANGRY OR WHAT ? AND HOW READER REFUSE TO GET MARRIED YET 😻😻 I'm on my knees 😞

YA YOU DO BOO I GOT YOU. I'M HERE FOR SOFT YANDERE KISAKI AND I EAT ANGST FOR BREAKFAST -Ms.Mac

Yandere!Kisaki Tetta

He plays it off when you don't tell him you're pregnant yet. He thinks ok it just hasn't hit yet. He's super suspicious when he notices you're acting strange though.

Ever the thinker he tries to come up with excuses for you. You're probably still getting ready for college. You honestly might still think you're going since you don't realize something waaaaay more important is coming up.

Kisaki has already made deals and prepped everything beforehand. He's got a well paying part time job, and he knows he can balance class work with it. He's also got savings stocked up from his gang days. You won't live as lavishly as he wants but your baby, his baby, is going to be provided for.

This guy is making a lot of sacrifices already you need to be ready to do the same. He know you must have noticed your period is late so why haven't you said anything yet?

Unless...there's no way you're trying to keep it a secret from him right? Or worse yet...

No. He won't allow it. Now he's using even more resources and connections and now he's found out you've made yourself an appointment at an illegal clinic to abort this baby. His fucking baby.

He can't contain his rage. He wants to kill you for thinking you could kill his child. But he knows better. He rationalizes. You just were scared, you made a very dumb decision. You almost made a horrible mistake.

You're dumbstruck to find Tetta at the clinic on the day of your appointment. You were so damn careful, how could he know...

"Just what do you think you're doing, (Y/N)?"

You're crying the whole way to Tetta's big fancy apartment. The one he's been begging you to come and stay at with him. He kept complaining it was way too huge for one person because of course it was. Who the hell needed a luxury three bedroom sound proof apartment all to themselves?

Kisaki doesn't say anything while you cry and try to explain how you're not ready for a baby, how you know how bad he wants to be married and to have a family but you just can't right now.

He doesn't say anything just listen while he helps you take off your jacket, and takes your phone, pulling something from your his back pocket...

It's his own fault. He accepts that he definitely made some poor choices. He really should've just held off until you were engaged. But it's fine. He'll take responsibility.

You feel him rubbing you back whispering how it's gonna be ok. How he's going to make it ok.

Then something clicks around your neck. A metal collar, with a chain leading to the wall. You're so stunned and confused staring at Tetta for an explanation.

"Don't give me that look, Y/N. I wanted to get you a pretty engagement ring, but you're just so fucking stubborn. So godamn stupid.' He explains walking away from you, "But I can fix this. You just need some time to adjust. To get used to the idea. I'm gonna make some calls. You need to settle in."

[doverstar]

Hello hello I was told by your lovely sister, one of my favorite people on the planet, to send you the same question I asked her to see what else you could say about it, since you write a lot of fanfiction and are more familiar with it than she said she was, so here I am!

I wanted to ask about fanfiction. I've really been thinking about that post Artist made about how a lot of fanfiction can be just used as a form of escapism, and not in a good way like Tolkien described it, but as a 'I hate life so I'm gonna read and write extensively about fictional characters rather than working hard/trying to improve my own life' Which I really want to avoid and not do. In the past I've certainly fallen into that trap- I would get so caught up in writing Marvel or Percy Jackson or Harry Potter fanfiction (not to toot my own horn, but was objectively good and I do think grew my skills a lot as a writer and character analyzer) that I would spend every free moment and many of ones when I really should've been working on school or chores or spending time with my actual family reading and writing it. I was probably doing that 5-8 hours a day when I was 11/12. (Yikes) Thankfully, my parents smacked some sense into me lol. It really just goes to show you how, for lack of a better term, soul-consuming, that these kind of fantasy pursuits can really be. Thankfully, I don't do that any more. I actively limit myself to a max of 3 hours of reading and writing fanfiction over the course of a week, which is a big improvement.

So yay! Now I have a definte separation from writing fanfiction to improve my writing and writing it to waste time because all of my energy is focused on it to the point where it is in my every thought. Good! Growth!

But now my new thing is this- I want to make sure that any and all fanfiction I write has a definite point. I want it to point to good things and have clear messages and blue flowers and point to Jesus, even if it isn't specifically a 'Christian' fanfiction.

But how do I go about this trying to intentionally bring in blue flowers and good messages and beautiful themes, and not just only write it for my entertainment because its a piece of media I love? How to I make sure to firstly know what themes I can bring in, and then do it in such a way that's well-written, while also being able to have those fun moments and situations that are both in the piece of media and I've thought up?

And finally, last thing, is I'm wrestling through if I should continue writing fanfiction to 'fix' a story (which is why I started a Percy Jackson and Marvel fanfictions, I wanted to take the parts of each story I didn't like and were poorly done and make them better) rather than make my own point with it. For most of the fanfiction writing I've ever done, my goal was to improve it, to act like a ghostwriting editor the author hired to fix their fundamentally flawed story. But now I'm realizing that I was spending so much time and effort (which don't get me wrong, I do not fully regret, I really do think that I've gotten far better at fiction writing through this) and I didn't even add any more goodness or morals to the story in a way that made it more soul-sustaining and truly good. I wanted to add a lot of bits that made be as a reader squeal and get happy over which... I don't think is bad per say, but its not what I want my fanfiction to be like any more. With my writing, I absolutely do want to improve on the source material, yes, but I also want to figure out what sort of themes and goodness I'm going for with it. So should I continue writing these large projects (cause each piece covers several books/movies) for improvement and also try to expand on the good ideas and themes the authors had, even bringing in my own, or should I just set it aside as that was great, but now I need to focus on making writing morally good and not just for entertainment?

I know a big part of this is wisdom and descretion- things that God has blessed me with but I know I always can pursue more of. So I know a absolute perfect answer to this question will require time and experience. But after sorting through my word-vomiting (sorry lol), what would you say to all of this? Thank you!! <3 I love you and your blog so much btw!

Golly, what a question! I haven't seen what Arti answered yet - I've been at work - but I'm on break now, so I can give it a try! I bet I'll end up saying a lot of what she said, making this an unnecessary and VERY LONG read, but here goes-

I do write a lot of fanfiction, and I have been since I was 8 (aka for a long, long time, gosh I'm old-). I wrestle with a lot of what you've described! I've been on the brink of quitting fanfiction altogether lately; there will come a time when I need to "grow up" in that area and commit to only writing what's just mine. I do have original stories, original worlds, original characters, but like you, when I want to practice and learn, I turn to fanfiction. It's a wonderful platform in that sense!

I would say you're right on the money when it comes to what the Lord has gifted you with. You should use wisdom, and you should use discretion. Your writing should be used to point to what's true, and there should be intention in no matter what you're creating. We're not only called to glorify God, we're called to excellence. Everything we do should be done to the best of our ability!

And what you believe, if you really believe it - about what's true, about how we ought to live and what's important - is definitely going to bleed through into whatever you write. It's the truth, and you've found it, and it can't help coming out. Making something (writing in particular) requires pieces of us, and if that's the case, then our Christianity (for lack of a better phrase) is going to show up in our stories. Even if the characters belong to someone else.

If you find yourself writing a story just to squeal over a ship, just to get secondhand butterflies when the male lead's being dreamy, just to vent some sort of difficult emotion you're dealing with or live vicariously through a character, you should close the laptop. I've written plenty of things that make me feel happy or excited (like you said, that's not bad!) but if that's the only reason you're writing it, it's a waste. And on another, semi-related note, a lot of people only write fanfiction to indulge in emotional pornography. It's not as steep a slope as you might think. When my father-in-law gets just a little drunk every night before bed, it's still sin. It doesn't matter how much or how long it lasts. He's still drunk, and he shouldn't be. So be careful! (she said, to herself, often-)

As for writing just to fix a story - if it's bothering you, and you see what they ought to have done, I say go for it, and here's why: it's teaching you something. It's you figuring out why what the source material did was dissatisfying, and it's you figuring out how your alternative is better. You're essentially teaching yourself what not to do. Now, if you want to write it and fix it and you want to keep the focus on good things, true things, there's still a way to do that. Work out what was good and true already about the source material and draw from that when it comes to theme.

I use a Notes document. I'm not talking about the Notes app on smartphones, I'm saying I open a Word document (or whatever your equivalent is!) for every single thing I write (fanfiction, original, etc.) and I entitle it "[Insert Story Title Here] - Notes.doc" and then I word-vomit at myself. I write at the top what the theme of my writing is going to be this time, and why, and underneath that I explain to myself where I see those good and true themes in the source material and how I'm going to magnify them and use them to point to the truth (specifically some Christian truths) in my story now. I figure out how it will all work and feel canon and then I move on to the pre-write for each chapter. It's good practice, it's great fun, and it keeps me on course when I start to drift into self-indulgence during the writing process. It's fun to visit Atlantica and Stars Hollow and get inside Caitlin Snow's head and show the world why I think Rose Tyler is the best thing to ever happen to Doctor Who - but all of those things can pull me away from the messages I'm trying to communicate.

Fanfiction should not be escapism. I cannot write when I am freaking out. I cannot write when I'm miserable, or angry, or fighting with someone. When I'm low emotionally and my spirit is scratched, I can't complete a single sentence. I can't. I think the Lord did that in me for a reason. I don't use fanfiction to escape reality or to deal with reality. When I was younger, I considered a day when I wasn't writing to be a wasted day. I needed to write. I needed to make something. But I prioritized that over reality, and yes, that is sin. I wasn't escaping, but I was idolizing, and that's wrong. I'm impressed by your self-inflicted limits! I could've done with that at 12 myself.

Fanfiction shouldn't be all self-indulgence, either. Yes, you ought to have some fun when you're making things. But have self-control! I love writing fanfiction and drawing and editing videos. I love it. It's so much fun to me. I get genuine joy out of it. And when I look at something I'm making, I say to myself, "Self, is this a waste of time? Does that part need to be in there or are you just playing?" And then I examine my motives and I examine the thing I'm worried about and I determine whether or not it takes you out of the story or draws you away from the themes (in writing specifically) or if it's okay to add because it's pleasant and matches one of the good, lovely, honorable, etc. things that are true in life that God allows us to have and enjoy, because He's just that good. And then I have to either say to myself, "Self, this is fattening," and delete it, or I say to myself "Hey, dolphins twirl," and leave it in, making sure I'm still on course.

Dolphins twirl! Why? We don't know why they twirl! God does. God made them twirl. God made them animals that play. He didn't have to do that! He didn't have to make the leaves change color. He looked at His creation and called it good when He was finished (you know, before we ruined it). He took pleasure in creating. We can too - as long as it's not pulling us or our readers off course. My husband doesn't have to be a good dancer to fit the biblical picture of a man I ought to marry - but he is a good dancer, on top of fitting what I should have been looking for biblically, and God knew that, and God did that, and I get to enjoy it and enjoying it is not wrong. Dolphins twirl!

Like I said, I'm close myself to putting fanfiction aside on the whole, because I can tell, probably because of the Lord, that it's nearly time for that. It's time to look up and make something more real, for more real reasons. If you're thinking it's about time for that for you, too, pray about it. Writing fanfiction is like anything else fun the Lord has blessed us with (everything good comes from God) - it's fun and good as long as you aren't misusing it. Everything in moderation. People take stories they love and characters they connect to and go and interact with them through fanfiction in a bad way, for bad reasons (or just reasons that are useless to man and beast), and I've done that before myself. I've been one of them. But it's not wrong to expand on the good and true things in stories we love, the things that are in line with what we know God invented, and it's not wrong to hone your craft and learn how to use what you've been given with excellence, so that when the time comes for you to write your own story that points to God, you're ready!

You don't want to be wasting your time or the talents you've been given. I say keep thinking about it, and remember why you do what you do. Stay on course! That's my advice.

Thanks for asking me!

[callalillywrites]

It Was a Bad Day - Ransom & Nick

It Takes All Packs to Make It Work One-Shot

One more after this one though I do have a sequel that will follow up with the events that take place here. Things aren't what they seem, and some answers are needed.

Pairings/Groupings: Ransom Drysdale x Nick Vaughn x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader (POV); Jake Jensen x Steve Rogers x Reader; Bucky Barnes x Reader; and Frank Adler x Reader

Other POVs to Read: Jake & Steve / Bucky / Frank

Word Count: ~3200

Summary: The day should've been a good one. At least, that's what Ransom had planned. Some shopping with Nick and Steve at the shop where he works before meeting up with Contessa, Angel, and the others. No way could he have predicted what would happen and the spiral he'll go through because of it.

Warnings: mentions of injuries; angst; medical setting; grief and fear abound; mentions of blood and bleeding; mention of smoking/cigarettes; lmk if I missed any

A/N: This was supposed to be rather short but grew into a relative beast. Each of the groupings/pairings will have their own perspective of the events, so be on the lookout for the others. As always, all mistakes are my own.

I also do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

That morning wouldn’t stop replaying in Ransom’s mind as he sat in the hospital waiting room.

The waiting had grown beyond tiresome, but he had few recourses as a beta. Doctors here wouldn’t stop and listen to the pleas of a beta. Maybe an omega. Definitely an alpha. Not a beta.

Stuck waiting, Ransom retreated into those memories, doing whatever he could to stay sane.

The morning had started so promising, too.

Angel showed up with Steve, so she could collect Contessa for a day of shopping while he took Steve and Nick by his shop for new suits and other necessary clothing.

While Steve had been surly when he first arrived, Ransom realized it had more to do with Nick than with the errand itself.

To Ransom’s utter surprise, Steve had kept up his contempt for Nick this entire time.

Sure, it’d lessened a bit, but Steve stubbornly clung to it. Every time the two shared a room, Steve would tense and watch Nick closely. Ransom had even overheard Steve threaten Nick the same way Ransom did Steve where Angel was concerned. Nick had taken it in stride, too, assuring Steve by saying, “If I hurt him, then I won’t make you track me down. I’ll come to you willingly for whatever punishment I deserve.”

It completely dissolved that morning when Angel skipped into the room, excited for the day. She’d stopped abruptly and shrieked when she saw the two bite marks now adorning Ransom’s neck.

“When did this happen? I want all the details,” she’d said, fully prepared to pull up a seat and hear them.

Steve piped in, demanding, “Your decision or their coercion?”

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Angel reprimanded swiftly.

Ransom’s brows rose as he met Steve’s serious expression. No remorse or shame existed in it as Steve waited for Ransom’s answer. At last, Ransom answered both their questions, “My decision. A couple days ago.”

Angel threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her previous seat forgotten.

“Oh, Ran, I’m so proud of you,” she said before dropping her voice to a whisper for his ears alone, “Tell me you’re happy.”

He nodded. “I’m happy.”

“Yay!” she cheered softly.

Contessa joined them soon after, her sweet grin never failing to stir Ransom’s growing love for her.

Love.

Such a funny emotion he’d avoided for so long because it’d been used against him for so long. The only one who hadn’t done so was Angel, and he did love her. It was just different from the love he could feel in his chest whenever he thought about Contessa and Nick. It was a welcome warmth that frightened him as much as he welcomed it, allowing it to consume him.

While Contessa gave her sweet farewells to Ransom and Nick, Angel exchanged her scarf with Steve’s, grinning as she inhaled his scent.

She’d made it clear to Ransom to help Steve pick out a couple of larger sweaters for him to wear so she could steal them, knowing how much Steve liked when she could wear something of his as she did with Jake’s clothing.

“Okay, betas, this is where we leave you,” Angel said, quickly pressing a kiss to Ransom’s cheek, a lingering one on Steve’s lips, and a final one on Nick’s cheek after a small hesitation. “You three behave yourselves, and we’ll see you in a few hours.”

Those few hours had long since grown into an eternity as they all sat in the waiting room.

Ransom still couldn’t believe how quickly the ground had shifted beneath his feet.

They’d been dropping Steve off at his place and stepped out to speak with Jake when their phones started ringing. Jake’s, then Nick’s, then Steve’s, and finally Ransom’s. One by one, they picked up and listened to one nurse or another tell them what happened.

Ransom wasn’t even sure how Jake stayed focused as he did in getting them to the hospital in his Jeep. He’s grateful the alpha had been with them though when they’d gotten the call.

Nick had barely sat still in the car and still continued to fidget next to him.

It got so bad that Ransom reached out and grabbed Nick’s hands, pulling them close and running his thumbs absently over Nick’s skin. A soft whine left Nick at the contact, but a grateful look overshadowed Nick’s fear for a moment when Ransom met his gaze.

Angel’s grandmother dragged in a doctor at one point, but that didn’t surprise Ransom. The old alpha retained her fiery nature and never let anyone forget it. The only thing that surprised him was how long she actually waited to seek out answers.

The doctor’s excuses didn’t impress Ransom, either, as he gritted out, “Why drag us into this room then if you’re just going to keep us in the dark?”

Nothing would’ve prepared any of them for the gut punches that came with the doctor’s return.

As much as he felt relief about Contessa, his stomach grew into tight knots at hearing about Angel. It wasn’t lost on him how close they’d been to losing any or all of them.

What he wouldn’t give to inflict pain on the driver who plowed into Angel’s car. The driver deserved whatever punishment would come his way, and Ransom would be there in court to ensure that it happened. For Contessa and Angel. For Precious and Firecracker. And for all the others sitting in this room with him.

Ransom spared a glance at Steve and Jake and found them clinging to each other. Bucky held Gracie close while Frank worked to keep Mary and Noah calm. Others also were in various states of shock and worry though some seemed to hold it together better than others.

His brows rose when he heard Ari’s phone vibrate, then watched as Ari glanced down before stepping outside the room. A small excuse passed the alpha’s lips. When he returned, a deep scowl stretched over his face until his gaze landed on Ransom. It took some effort, Ransom noted, for Ari to smooth his features and shake his head.

Whatever had Ari making that face, he didn’t want Ransom drawing attention to it, not that Ransom would.

The expression didn’t resolve either as Ari spent another several minutes texting rapidly and shooting off what must be several messages.

It was only when Ari glanced up and noticed Ransom still watching him that he made up the excuse of going out to get food for everyone. One of Jake’s military friends joined him, leaving Ransom to stare at the blank piece of wall Ari had occupied before.

Nick finally settled enough to lean into Ransom minutes before Ari and Jake’s friend returned with food. While he encouraged Nick to eat and Nick did the same with him, Ransom found himself playing with his food and not really bothering to take more than a bite or two.

When the doctor finally came to collect them, Ransom couldn’t get out of his seat fast enough. He knew better than to push towards the head of the group. Instead, he settled for clasping Nick’s hand tighter in his own as they followed the doctors and the others to the room where Contessa and the others were.

In the room, Ransom let Nick lead him towards Contessa’s bed.

Her phone sat out on the small table, screen up. When it lit up, Ransom made out Ari’s name and the bit of text in the preview box.

It read, Colin’s already on the case. He’ll have something for us soon.

“Don’t worry about that,” she said, quickly turning it over. “So, how are my betas holding up? I didn’t worry you too much, did I?”

They checked over her injuries, finding the doctor’s words to be true. The only real nasty blow she’d taken was the cut near her scalp. A slight change to her normal style would hide it well enough. Both breathed easier at seeing her so well off.

Over the next few minutes, they listened to Contessa tell them what happened, including Angel’s willingness to take care of them all before herself.

Hearing it, Ransom knew the truth of it, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. That’s why he had no trouble ‘tattling’ on her to Jake and Steve. They’d want to know what she did, even if she underplayed it which she absolutely did.

The tubes and wires surrounding her. The casts and bandages covering a good chunk of her body. It was all too much to take in. What little food he’d eaten threatened to come back up. It wasn’t lost on him once again how easily he could’ve lost his best friend.

That feeling stuck with him even after they were escorted back to the private waiting room where they soon dispersed to go their separate ways.

Ari approached them to say, “Contessa wanted me to keep you guys company until she could come back home. Watch out for you two.”

“It’s fine,” Ransom said, shaking his head at Nick when Nick would’ve questioned this decision. “We came with Jake and Steve, so we don’t exactly have a way home anyway.”

At least this way, Ransom knew he’d possibly get the chance to figure out what was going on. He needed to know why some guy named Colin was getting involved in whatever happened with Contessa and the others tonight. It was all too coincidental to not share some connection, and he aimed to find out.

If he couldn’t shake how close he’d been to losing two of the most important people in his life, then he was going to channel it in this self-appointed mission.

No one really spoke much in Ari’s truck on the way back to Contessa’s home on the outskirts of town. Ari pulled into the long drive and parked behind Nick’s coupe.

Between Ransom and Nick, they soon had Ari settled in one of the guest rooms.

While Ari disappeared into the ensuite, Ransom lingered a moment in the room. Ari’s phone sat on the dresser where Ransom debated if he could hack into it without Ari noticing. A pack of cigarettes sat next to it.

Accepting he didn’t have skills or the time, Ransom settled for plucking one of the cigarettes from the pack. He retreated from the room, the cigarette swiveling expertly between his fingers as he wandered the grand house.

While he didn’t have a particular destination in mind, his feet carried him outside to the large patio with the oversized daybed Contessa had gotten for them all to lounge upon on warm summer days.

The biting chill of the late winter/early spring night didn’t register as he sank onto the corner of the lounger. His fingers played with the cigarette, turning it over and over. Even as the smallest temptation to light it hit him, he wouldn’t.  

Time lost meaning as he sat there, hoping the cold would dull the ache that settled over him so heavily.

He didn’t even notice how cold he’d gotten until Nick wandered out sometime later and touched him with warm fingers. A hiss passed both their lips for different reasons.

“Shit, Ran, how long have you been out here?” Nick asked, then seemed to note the object Ransom still absently played with. “How did I not know you smoked?”

“I don’t. Haven’t in years,” Ransom admitted softly. “Angel would skin me alive if she knew I was tempting myself.”

Saying that was his tipping point.

His breath gave a harsh shudder even as his emotions bubbled over. Rare tears filled his eyes and trickled down his cheeks.

“Oh, bear, hey. It’ll be okay. She’s okay. They’re all okay.” Nick sank next to him and tugged Ransom into his arms, shushing him. “You’re freezing. Hold on.”

Nick tugged the blanket he’d brought with him, sensing he’d need it, and spread it over Ransom’s shoulders. He made sure that the blanket covered every bit of Ransom he could reach before wrapping his arms around Ransom once more. His hand ran up and down where they could to hopefully restore some warmth back in Ransom’s body.

Ransom did his best not to let the voices of his family intrude. He didn’t need their mocking reminder that his emotional breakdown was his own doing and showed just how weak he was to Nick.

He did let himself relax in Nick’s comforting arms, resting his head on Nick’s shoulder. The tears continued to trickle until he ran out of them. Small tremors and occasional shudders overtook him, causing Nick to tug him closer in the hopes of soothing him.

Nick’s efforts paid off enough to have Ransom break the silence surrounding them. Even to his own ears, Ransom’s voice sounded raw, rough. “If I lost Angel or Contessa, I’d lose everything.”

Nick’s brow pinched at hearing Ransom’s confession.

“What do you mean?”

If Nick thought it was going to be easy to get a real explanation, he was about to be sorely disappointed.

Ransom clammed up after realizing just how much he’d revealed and refused to say anything else. Shame coursed through him as he allowed that bit of vulnerability through when he was supposed to be finding out what Contessa and Ari were up to. That was what mattered the most, not his stupid feelings.

Then again, Nick had a stubborn streak, too, and a few creative tricks to get answers out of Ransom.

“You know Past Me would never believe how lucky I could get when I met Contessa and you. He would be blown away with how well I’m doing now and how loved I feel every day I get to spend with you and Contessa.” Nick noted Ransom was listening even if he refused to look at him. Unbothered by this, he asked, “What about you? What would Past You think about your life now?”

It took a moment for Ransom to finally answer. The darkness allowed him to be honest in ways he’d never be in the light of day, certainly not this vulnerable.

“He would think I was a fucking fool. No way would he allow himself to let others in. To actually care what others think. He’d know that I was meant to be alone. I wasn’t someone who has others stick around unless they need something from me. He’d know that they’d all leave if she wasn’t around anymore.”  

“Who would leave, Ran?” Nick asked, pressing for more information.

Ransom scoffed at Nick’s question. “All of them.”

“You think your friends would leave you if you lost Angel? That I would leave if we lost Contessa?” Nick’s brows pinched harder, sending a dull ache that he ignored while attempting to understand Ransom’s words. “Do you really not see how much they care about you? How much I care? You think Steve would’ve threatened me not to hurt you if he didn’t genuinely care about you? Oh, bear, you’re so loved, and you don’t even realize it, do you?”

“They don’t love me; they tolerate me,” Ransom insisted. “I’m an irredeemable asshole. I’ve always been one, always will be one. I’m good to have around when things go wrong, so there’s someone to blame. I have some use, but that use is limited and fleeting. It’d only be a matter of time before they realized it. You, too.”

Nick whined at hearing the deprecating words slip past Ransom’s lips. Every time he thought he knew all that Ransom’s family had done to him, Nick learned just how much more damage they’d done.

His grip tightened as he tried to find the right words or actions to make Ransom understand.

Eventually, he realized he had at least one answer so close at hand that he reacted instinctively.

Nick’s teeth gently nipped at the still fresh marks he’d left only a few days ago on Ransom’s neck. He didn’t pause either as Ransom visibly shuddered in his arms. No, he kept nipping and scenting until Ransom’s stiffness shifted into an almost limp acceptance.

“Bear, you’re not irredeemable. You may have some asshole tendencies, but I’ve only ever seen you use them for good.” He nipped a bit harder when he felt Ransom tense, clearly ready to argue. “No, it’s true. You have a habit of standing in front of others and directing their troubles your way. It’s not necessarily healthy, but you do it. You might not see that as noble or worthy of others’ friendship and loyalty, but I do.”

Ransom didn’t protest, clearly willing to listen even if he didn’t necessarily accept it.

Nick would take the small victory, continuing, “Your friends all appreciate what you offer, and it’s not because of Angel. I don’t think Contessa or I have stopped hearing about how special you are to them. They’ve made it clear that hurting you is not an option. You might’ve given us a second chance, but we won’t get a third if we screw this up.”

“Nick’s not wrong,” Ari said. He strode towards them until he could cover them with another blanket before he crouched in front of them. His eyes took in the cigarette Ransom still played with outside the blanket and plucked it from Ransom’s fingers. “Wondered where that went.”

“Who’s Colin?” Ransom asked, his gaze meeting Ari’s. His tone made it clear he was quite through with his previous and private conversation with Nick with Ari present.

There was an intensity to his curiosity that amused Ari. He’d seen it earlier at the hospital. Ransom had been the only one to notice Ari’s comings and goings with any level of interest.

That didn’t mean Ari had any intention of giving Ransom more information after the emotional rollercoaster the day had been.

“All you need to know, beta, is Colin’s a friend.”

Ransom clearly wanted to know more, but Ari diverted them instead.

“The others will be coming home soon, and I think it’d be nice if we could do something for them. I need a team to help me. Think you two might just fit the bill. Up for some welcome home planning?”

Nick took the bait happily while Ransom didn’t immediately answer.

Ari raised a brow until Ransom huffed, nodding as he backed down. His exhaustion helped with that more than anything.

With their acceptance, Ari urged them back into the warm house and escorted them to their room. He ended up, staying awake a while longer to ensure they actually got some sleep.

Ransom’s skin had been too cold, and Ari worried Ransom might come down with something under his watch.

Thankfully, Ransom had more energy when he woke up and didn’t show any signs of coming down with something. He even managed to take over most of the planning for Contessa’s coming home, which ended up happening later that evening.

Ari left them soon after dinner, sensing Contessa wanted to spoil her two betas.

She ended up spoiling them plenty and they her in return.

For the time being, they were content to let the nightmare of that day fade from their memory as they put new and better ones in its place.

*****

Verse Masterlist / Main Masterlist

[chirpsythismorning]

Has anyone theorized why the Duffers chose to focus on Ten (10) specifically at the start of season 4?

Because looking back, how he was framed at the beginning of s4, compared to the end, makes it obvious he was a red herring.

In 4x01, we get our first (less detailed) recount of the massacre at Hawkins Lab, with the focus singling out Brenner and Ten. While I think there could definitely be important ideas hidden in the subtext during those scenes between them, Ten doesn't seem to hold any importance to the overall story, as his own character, beyond what's given to us in that premiere.

Because in 4x07, when we get a more detailed recount of the massacre, we're now viewing this moment from El's perspective at that same time Brenner and Ten first come into view. But it's at this moment the audience realizes that it was never about Ten.

By the end that same episode, Ten is merely canon fodder. He was given almost all of our focus, and then he was gone. And that was it. But I think that's because it's obvious he was never meant to be important to the overall story in the first place.

Ten was placed at the start of the story, not only as a distraction, but to also act as usable early promo footage.

No, but seriously. It's quite common for shows to post the first 10 or so minutes on YouTube before the actual premiere of a new season. In fact, Stranger Things has done this with the first 8 minutes of s1 & 4.

Planning for marketing and advertising is so fucking essential to Stranger Things roll-out, they would've probably wrote and filmed those scenes, knowing that it could, and very likely would, be used early-on in the promotion circuit (because later scenes in the season are usually filled with spoilers), which meant whatever they focused on couldn't give too much away. If anything it needed to make you think you were getting a lot in the foreground, when in reality the true answers were tiptoeing in the background.

What I think makes the choice to focus on Ten at the start of the season so interesting though, is that he's the number right before Eleven.

Our focus, right from the jump, is specifically on the number that has proximity to Eleven...

And so why do that? Why focus on Ten and then drop him into obscurity?

Maybe to distract us from the fact that the number we should've really been focusing on also has similar proximity to Eleven (literally and figuratively and numerically)... Mayhaps Twelve??

I promise you guys, I was minding my business, doing research for a completely different post, when I noticed a detail that expanded on my curiosity in regards to Ten.

Now, I'm not the kind of byler that tries to add up a bunch of numbers and say that it means something, and that's honestly mostly because I suck at math (and so no hate to the bylers that do that bc that's more of a me problem). And yet despite that, I really don't think this is even reaching. I think they made the choice to focus on the numbers they did and the way that they did, for a reason.

Although Ten didn't give us much of a purpose beyond s4 misleading opener vibes, he still started off the season with a fleeting, but still larger focus than the rest of the numbers besides El.

And so besides Ten and Eleven, which other number played a big role this season?

Two.

Though that's not to say Two operates as a red herring. I would say he actually plays a substantial role the entire season. He has a beginning, middle and end to his arc that stretches the entire season and feels layered in ways that make it clear he was more than just a blip to keep us busy.

And so, for the first episode of s4, these specific numbers were credited first before the rest, as they apparently played the biggest roles. And so, I just find it kind of ironic that:

Do you see it?

Okay, if you're still stuck I'll help you out:

The Duffers have admitted since s4 premiered that a lot of the surprises/answers they're saving for the end of the show, can likely be found within the show itself. This is because, a lot of the choices made, especially in season 4's case, were with the end in mind. And so details that maybe even seemed meaningless or ended up going nowhere, probably had a purpose that went beyond what we assumed when we were first confronted with those ideas. And that was probably the intention. Otherwise the surprise element wouldn't even be there.

Although it might seem like nothing is here, and maybe there isn't. Maybe I am reaching.

I still can't help but feel like these Hawkins lab scenes specifically hold the truth to what is going to play out in season 5.

Because the brothers have also admitted s5 is going to delve into the origins of Hawkins Lab and how Brenner's program went from involving Henry, to evolving and including multiple kids...

Honestly that alone should be enough of an admission that the s4 lab scenes probably hold more answers than we realize. All those choices they made, were made with the truth about Hawkins Lab in the back of their mind.

And so if they're going to make those revelations about the lab in the final season, and s5 is apparently going to also spend a lot of time telling us about Will's disappearance, whatever this all entails has to fit nicely with those scenes of the lab in s4. Because those scenes were extremely recent and also presumably written and talked about beside their outline for s5, meaning that they had every chance to hide the answers in the details... which they've literally admitted to doing by saying the answers to the ending are hidden in the show already... why am I even rambling about this in long form. This isn't a reach if you're actually considering what is in front of us.

That's not to say that we have the full picture yet to comfortably support Twelvegate as a full blown guaranteed theory. Because even though the evidence is astounding, there's still so much missing.

I think the imagery of time/clocks over the seasons being built up, going into the end of the show, and still without really delving into the time/clocks aspect fully, is maybe why I'm so open minded to how they could go about Twelvegate.

What we know about the past regarding Will's childhood along with what happened to Will when he went missing, for all we know might not even be the full truth. And there is some evidence that the facts surrounding Will's disappearance were changed between season 1 and season 2 and so... why was that? Back then fans thought it was just a copy/paste error, but now within the context of twelvegate... it's quite fascinating...

There's also theories Will himself created the upside down? And so, if that were to be the case, in any capacity, I imagine that his role in everything is a lot bigger than we imagine. Like that would make him equally as well known at Hawkins Lab as El.

It's not like we've gotten any imagery like that before, with Will being the center of interest at Hawkins Lab... Oh wait--

It's not like Will has ever been 'the boy who lived' level well known or anything...

But maybe that's because he's literally 'THE BOY WHO CAME BACK TO LIFE' well known!!

WILL BYERS IS THE CHOSEN ONE? WILL BYERS HOLDS THE ANSWERS TO EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN OVERLOOKING AND MISSING FROM THE BEGINNING???

Then there's the fact that Will himself could play a role in how time is going to impact the last season and presumably our perception of the past itself, specifically in relation to Will and his time at Hawkins Lab (possibly).

Lots of fans predict time travel will be involved in some capacity. Though there is a lot of pushback both in the byler fandom and even in the ga at the possibility of this, because I think a lot of people associate time travel in storytelling with entire story resets and so they're scared that time will just start over and everything that occurred over the seasons would become meaningless. And I guess I could see why that would be disappointing.

However, even if time travel plays a role, and I do think it likely will in some way because the foreshadowing is too extensive to not have been intentional, that doesn't mean I think they'll do it in the most conventional or predictable way possible. I think it would have to be way more complex than what most people expect, and it probably wouldn't erase everything they've been through, assuming what they've been through is even the full truth to begin with...

[audioandart]

Outer Wilds Rewards Bravery (and Exploration)

So this isn't going to be a particularly neat post. It's mostly just going to be a stream of consciousness really. (Also it's VERY LONG so click read more at your own discretion.) Spoiler warning now by the way, because I'm going to be going somewhat in depth with some things and trust me, this is a game best played relatively blind. I'm also including the DLC. So yeah spoilers below the cut!

I'm going to start at the beginning. My beginning, technically. The very first time I booted up this game. I was a cautious little creature. I climbed carefully and crashed the model ship MANY times, I made my way up to the museum. And I died. Immediately in fact! I went onto the platform of the tallest tree and managed to accidently launch myself off the railing. I was being too cautious and under shot my jump. Never even reached the statue.

Now obviously this is a personal experience, right? This could just as easily be chalked up to me not being used to the controls yet, (a problem that would persist for a few hours of gameplay,) or could even be claimed to be a problem with the game (it's definitely not). Technically you could even say it's a combo of the first two, which it probably was. In the interest of seeing how I died, the start of my second run was spent going back up that tree. I went to the same spot. I slipped again. This time I was not cautious. I sent myself with full force and this time, I only lost about half health.

This should've set the stage for me, but I was nothing if not a little cowardly. I've grown past this some but I was a scared teenager, and video games felt too real for me to stop being scared at the time. I hadn't learned my lesson. I avoided the tree, and launched my ship. Success! Or so I thought. I hurtled back to the ground as I realized I hadn't used nearly enough force to launch myself off the planet. I didn't die this time, but I was aggravated. All throughout my first playthrough, I was cautious and scared. I was crushed by sand. I was suffocated and drowned. Electrocuted. Eaten. On and on I lost to the forces of nature, and all of it was because I was wishy washy. If I stand in this corner and wait for the danger to leave, it'll all be ok. But sand doesn't leave. Anglerfish won't stop chasing you because you've hidden behind a vine (although I did get a pretty good visual of it's face while it was caught on it. Very useful.) Water doesn't stop filling the room and space is endless, no escape.

I still remember my first time with the black hole. I was careful, I'd spent nearly a whole run gradually learning the path through the crust and had gotten to Reibeck. And as I made one more jump, I slipped. I almost did something incredible, I almost entered its orbit instead and made my way to land. But because I was scared, I tried to focus on getting AWAY from the black hole instead of realizing I had immense horizonal momentum and could've kept moving forward instead. I fell right in. Braced myself for death to the point I had a stomach ache, and... nothing. I was alive and there was a VERY LARGE WHITE THING BEHIND ME OH GOD. I pushed away as quick as possible and realized that oh. It was fine. Ok. I found the warp pad and made my way back. The sun exploded. I finally started to realize I could just Do Things.

And so finally, towards the end of my playthrough, I remembered I was playing a video game. Dying is fine! It's not the end of the world or something! (Put a pin in that.) I finally started just throwing myself into situations and dealing with them. And I stopped dying almost completely! Every death from then on was simply user error rather than user terror. I played the game as normal, got the coordinates, and went to the Eye. And taking all the knowledge I'd accumulated through the game, I came to my final conclusion. And this is no joke, this is what I thought word for word, I remember this even years later.

"I need to be brave."

Then of course I repeated this mantra to myself throughout the ENTIRE trippy sequence of finding the instruments and whatnot. Y'know. Terrifying thing with the whole seeing yourself and yada yada who cares we don't need it right now. We've already learned our lesson by this point. Be brave. Look the danger in the eye (Eye?) and remember to be brave, no matter what. That doesn't mean be reckless. I've died to the anglerfish in recklessness more times than I can count. Caution and bravery can coexist and they should. But fear should not be disguised as caution and should not be disregarded as cowardice.

Leaving my own experiences (finally I know) the game tells you this from the very beginning. It's on the moon. It's in Gabro and Reibeck and all the other astronauts. It's in your town on Timber Hearth.

It's in Feldspar.

When you find Feldspar for the first time, you're probably panicked. You may or may not have just encountered the anglerfish for the first time, you may have damaged your ship. But Feldspar is excited to see you, and a traveler means safety. You talk and you read his dialogue and it turns out he very much lives up to the stories, and he very much survived the anglerfish through sheer chaotic flying. You probably got in there by carefully avoiding angering them. His ship is destroyed. But he doesn't care! He's just sitting there eating mallows and playing his harmonica, and he tells you everything he knows like he's not trapped in a terrible seed with giant fish that already tried to eat him alive. Feldspar is the traveler who made it the furthest, he's one of the founders, and he did it by being brave and exploring. The space program wouldn't exist without him being brave. No one is surprised to hear he's somehow set up camp in Dark Bramble.

I could go on and on about example after example of where bravery is what you need to progress, but for the sake of at least TRYING to keep this shorter, I'll just start listing some. You have to be brave to fly into the Stranger (you'll crash if you aren't, yes I've done this multiple times.) You have to be brave for pretty much the entirety of it's quest and dark areas as well. You have to be brave to go to the Sun Station, to dive into the depths of Giant's Deep and to explore the vast inner workings of Dark Bramble. You need bravery to go into the Ash Twins and avoid the sand, to enter each area and learn. You have to be brave to pull out the Core and you have to be brave to jump into the Eye. Being unsure will cost you all of this. Everything is timed and if you wait, you will not make it. The sand WILL crush you, if you want to make it into that jellyfish you must move FAST. The Sun Station may be difficult to navigate but you need full force to make most of those jumps, and caution will send you careening into a fiery death.

I also brought up exploration. This one is probably very obvious. It's a space exploration game, the space program is all about exploring space. But good game design has the game showing you this before you've even gotten the launch codes, before you've even finished walking towards the museum. The Zero G Cave is right there on the path, and taking the time to go through it teaches you an important game mechanic. The entire village in fact teaches you very important things, which you will only learn if you explore it. The more off the beaten path you go, the more discreet the thing it teaches you is. Talk to people. Find things. Play hide and seek with the kids. Did you know you had a Signalscope? Did you know what it did? You do now. Learn about Ghost Matter. Go to the moon. Talk to Esker. You've learned so much! Now go EVERYWHERE. And that's what the game tells you from the very start.

Now take that pin back out. We're talking about my experience again, (yes I know, I'm sorry.) The world didn't end when I pulled the Core. And so after finishing the game I gladly played onwards, and did things I hadn't done on my first playthrough. At this point I looked some stuff up, and I saw there were multiple endings. Amazing! I tried getting some of them. The endings where you misstep, or the endings where you are too scared, too late, too slow. They're all bad endings. You always die. That's not what I expected. The end to the game is beautiful, sure, but it slightly felt like a bad end. I learned another lesson. There's two types of the world ending, and both types are inescapable. There's the type where everything has literally ended, through something like death, and there's the type where something has ended, but something has taken it's place. A metamorphosis. Metamorphosis is the GOOD ending, because it's going to end no matter what. I knew this in theory, but it hadn't settled in yet. I suspect this is one of the biggest take aways people have from this game. Being stagnant is a death all it's own. (Also one of the reasons the DLC is so good as well. It shows that death in the stagnant so well!)

People fear change. Outer Wilds reminds us that change may be scary, but looking outwards is necessary and non change is the bad end. Take your bravery, and go into that change full force hatchling. There's so many possibilities and it's your time to observe them all. It's time to choose one. In the spirit of loving this game, here are some of the quotes I love the most that I think are relevant. They seem the most fitting end for this post (and it must end, the game says.)

"Our curiosity goes with you on your journey. You walk in the footsteps of those who came before you, and your path guides those who will follow later."

"Fear of failure is a poor reason not to try."

"Even if it's over now, I had a good time learning. But I think the rules are about to change."

"I believe we've reached the end of our journey. All that remains is to collapse the innumerable possibilities before us. Are you ready to learn what comes next?"

The universe is, and we are.

[scammydoesstuff]

Saw your post about meeting Neil and honestly to say he only cares about Astarion is kinda I dunno... not cool. I mean Astarion of course means a lot to Neil because he's been with him for more than four years! He means a lot to Neil because I don't know maybe the fact that the man has poured a lot of his time into a character that was so faceted and deep has something to do with it? I don't think it's really fair of you to say that he only cares about Astarion now since he's new, because if that were the case then he'd have stopped caring for Astarion as soon as Fibonacci from Warframe entered the scene or other roles he has done post Astarion. I met Neil and I didn't whine or cry about him not having any Kamski or Simon Walker or Luke Davenport pics when I met him at the Game expo back in Feb, especially since his role as Simon Walker meant a lot to me. Heck I didn't even cry about him not having any Nyx Ulric pics for my friend who's comfort character is Nyx (Neil did all the mocap for him). At least you got a Resident Evil photo. And heck if anything you could have looked on his Streamily that usually gives everyone an idea of what prints he might have.

As for him not being oh my god shocked at your plush, have you any idea how many people that man meets at every con who shove things they've made of his characters in his face? He was probably tired but he did attempt to do the voice for you! Is there no gratitude in that? Neil is a human being, he doesn't OWE you anything, he's not a dancing monkey and you as well as all of his other fans should be thankful that he cares to even come to conventions and spare a few moments of time to meet us all given his work schedule.

Instead perhaps maybe realize that your disappointing interaction with him is all on you and not Neil himself. Any one else who's met him all seem to be happy they even got to stand before him and share a moment with him. Your moment with him was ruined by your own expectations of someone who is just a normal human being.

Cool. Thanks for the comment.

I definitely agree with you that I was disappointed as a result of my own expectations and I fully acknowledge that I took it way too personally. I could swear I mentioned as much in that post or at least the follow up in the ask I received after, but maybe I didn't. In which case; my bad. Should've been more clear on that.

The other thing I could've swore I've mentioned in regards to this whole weekend was that I was already in a bad mental state at the time. The interaction with Neil was just something that put me over the edge. That's also on me and I'm not blaming Neil for anything I was going through. Just that I was already having a bad time and that didn't help. I was very excited to finally meet him because I hadn't had the opportunity to do so after Resident Evil Village came out until literally this weekend. He otherwise hadn't come to any conventions near me that I was aware of (though, maybe he did and I just genuinely didn't know. Really hard to say at this point). Also, not to beat a dead horse or anything, but he was advertised for both Baldur's Gate III and Resident Evil Village as you can see in the screenshot below. So...fuck me for thinking he'd have prints for the games he was advertised with, I guess...

Now, while I understand Neil's attachment to Astarion - I saw a few streams of his when he played through RE8 and he was talking about him even back then - I can't deny that I do kinda find it shitty to just ignore the characters that came before that people still love. It's also very odd to see any voice actor doing things like this. Like, we met Roger Craig Smith as well this weekend and my boyfriend got the one print he had available for Hirako Shinji from Bleach. That's a character Roger hasn't voiced in, like, a decade, but when he saw the print my boyfriend chose, he got really excited. Despite pretty much everyone else coming up wanting autographs for Sonic, he was still excited about this character he doesn't even voice anymore and who he doesn't have much of a connection to at this point in time. It still meant something to see someone showing love for that character and he was excited by it. So for Neil to really only focus on the one, most recent character and not really show much attention to the others was just kinda surprising and very much against the norm. It's not a bad thing necessarily. Just not what I expected, as you so eloquently pointed out.

I'm genuinely sorry if anything I said offended you. I wasn't trying to start anything with that post. I was just sharing an experience from a weekend that was overall rough for me. I thought that was the point of a personal blog, but maybe I'm wrong there too...

All I wanted to do was get out the negative feelings and move on. At this point, while I'm still disappointed about that interaction and definitely regret going to this convention at all (I definitely wouldn't have if I'd known he wouldn't show much interest in his older characters), I'm mostly over it and I'm moving on. It happened, it was a bad time, and it's over. It doesn't make me 'hate' Neil Newbon or think ill of him nor would I discourage people from meeting Neil if that's what they want. You're right, he doesn't owe me anything. I acknowledged in my previous response and extensively in the tags on the original that I still think Neil was very nice and I know I'm the outlier in all of this. It was a long day. He was probably really tired. He'd already met so many people that day alone. It was the end of the day. Et cetera, et cetera. Like, there are so many variables here that contributed to that interaction winding up bad for me and I don't blame Neil for them.

TL;DR: *I* had a bad time and just wanted to vent with an art piece that made *me* feel better, but I don't hate Neil nor do I think Neil's a bad person and I'm glad other people who met him this weekend had a good time with their interactions.

Hope that cleared a few things up...

[scarecr0wsam]

it's late and my brain is a mess and i watched 10x22 earlier and i need to post a ramble about dean's reaction to charlie dying and how extremely interesting and frustrating it is to me (this is not an organized post by any means this is me needing to throw my thoughts into the void. felt silly might delete/edit)

when they're giving charlie a hunter's funeral and dean says it should've been sam, i'm going to assume that reaction is influenced by the mark of cain because otherwise what the fuck.

they've already established that they would do literally anything to save the other, going all the way back to when dean made the one-year crossroads deal for sam's life back in season two. he made that deal even after he had previously been so judgmental of everyone who made a crossroads deal, specifically the guy who made a deal similar to his, because he viewed it as selfish and thoughtless. he did it regardless because again, they would do literally anything to save the other

of course sam would use every resource they've got to try to remove the mark of cain before it eventually causes dean's demise, and it's not like he intentionally put charlie in harm's way. he took measures to make sure he was safe, it was charlie that ran off. keeping it a secret from dean was definitely not the nicest move, but he wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of saving dean's life, not even dean.

and i'm not saying charlie's death was her own fault either, i honestly see it as a no-fault situation beyond the guy that killed her. it was bad circumstance resulting from bad circumstance, and i was actually expecting it to be a lot worse after seeing tons of people blaming sam for her death.

and also dean refused to let sam complete the trials and close the gates of hell because it would mean sam would die. even when sam was fully prepared and willing to do it, ready to make the sacrifice for the greater good. but dean didn't see it that way because that meant his little brother would die.

i guess that does go along with the theme of them being pissed at people for saving their life when it takes a sacrifice, understandably.

they would do and sacrifice anything to save the other. this has been well established. you would think they would have consciously realized that by now. dean saying that it should've been sam just caught me so incredibly off guard, and maybe it shouldn't have but i'm having a hard time understanding it

[bluravenite]

You can totally ignore this if you want, i just saw that poat you added to about fandom bullying and idk, I am just... gah, i wish this fandom wasnt so cruel. I had so much fun here when i first joined and i didnt really know what i was getting into except for the fact that I loved ghost! now i still love ghost, but i am in the process of de-ghosting my blog. I feel like every day I see people bullying one another in this community, and I feel like every time i post my writing, I risk drawing attention and being bullied. Congratulations to those assholes! they'll kill the fandom because folks will be too scared to share work.

I know fandom always has some drama, but none of the others I have been involved in have been this cruel. I dont know if people are just getting crueller, or whether Ghost somehow just attracts cruel people. I hate to think the latter, because the band is drenched in love. But i fear to think the former, though i worry it might be so.

I don't think it's the band itself Hun, I think definitely it's the sort of bubble the fandom itself has created.

Cruel people exist everywhere and it's unfortunate when they end up finding each other in a bubble, ghost has gotten so big that its really hard to regulate and you will have lots of unregulated environments where people don't feel comfortable.

You as a member can do what you need to endure YOUR safety, but that sometimes isn't enough or as effective when other triggers (i.e. hate anons) are still present in the environment.

I completely feel you and I am so sorry that you've been through this and feel like this as well... Ghost used to be my comfort fandom, and I am still so in love with the romanticized idea of it, I miss talking about our OC ghouls with friends, writing and reading about them and siblings of sin life in the abbey, about ghouls going on tours and being so silly with each other. About the love and romance that allowed people in the fandom to find new ways to love themselves and explore their sexuality and even bodies. I still think that was beautiful.

Unfortunately we lost that energy at some point, maybe with the hate anons to the writers, attacks to artists, maybe with the hypersexualization of presenting gay male ghouls and dislike for the female presenting ghouls. Maybe with the over-sexualization of unmasked members of the real band, which should've never happened.

The other day I found this clip from a Neil Newbon stream (voice of Astarion in BG3 and Heisenberg in REV) where he goes on to say some headcanons are just.. wrong, and you have to learn to separate fact from fiction. These are ultimately characters that the original creators wrote, while you as a fan artist have free range to give them physical designs and traits you also have to be aware that you need to keep a somewhat level of separation, AND decency between your own headcanons and the real canon.

I think ultimately that's where this fandom goes wrong... There is no separation because people get so fucked up into their headcanons in their made up mutual bubbles that I feel like they never go out to touch grass and maybe take a minute to evaluate their content.

Not that I'm saying it shouldn't exist. Just that it's important to understand WHY it was made, WHY, it exists. Is this ghoul hypersexual?? Okay well BUT WHY????? Who are they, how do they feel about it, when did they realize, how did it affect them??? That's never talked about, it's always "ghoul has lit of sex with same sex ghoul again!!!!" It's like plotless porn at that point, fetish. It becomes gross.

I ended up kinda ranting here but I made some good points so I hope this at least helps invite more discussion about what the frick has been happening here lately..

Lots of love and encouragement to you anon, and to anyone else who has felt this way at least once in the fandom. We deserve a decent creative space💀

[xamaxenta]

I know we've seen people talk about how it would be if Sabo and Marco met and love how that could possibly be with the darker angst themes. Imagine how it would be though if Sabo and Masked Deuce ever met for angst themes. A lot of us have read the episode A for Ace and got feels from it but it must be even worse for Deuce. Deuce was the first one Ace met on his journey once he left Dawn island. Saying that he would be there for Ace and live a life of no regrets and whichever version of episode A you've seen there's definitely some feelings from Deuce's side of it. Yet when marineford happens Deuce couldn't get to Ace when he needed him most and most likely realized he would be useless too. He couldn't do anything to help save the one that had brought so much into his world and was ready to give up back on sixis. Now the only thing Deuce feels like he can do is find the Mera Mera no mi and keep it safe to ensure that nobody can tarnish those flames that Ace once wielded and made shine so brightly like the sun. Sabo and Deuce meeting in Dressrosa and Deuce not wanting to accept Sabo as the one who has Ace's fruit now. To Deuce that fruit should've belonged to him, he was the one that was there since the beginning of Ace's journey. He was the one that got to see Ace take that fruit and make it into his own and this guy, this man that claims to be the same Sabo that Ace lost years ago just swoops in and takes it? Taking those flames that belonged to his captain and it be alright? The potential for this type of ship in a darker manner is just as good as it would be for Sabo and Marco.

The potential is limitless but also like the incredible concept of Sabo being so out of Deuce’s league its not like he can pick a fight and come out winning

But

Deuce doesnt care he has nothing left to lose as opposed to Sabo who has alot

My interpretation would be placated by the flames, the knowledge that Ace is safe with him Sabo is actually calmer, more at peace in a quiet grieving sort of way

Sorry the violence the anger the lovehate toxic chokeleash me thing is reserved for Marco and Sabo post canon marineford only imo, two animals tearing each other apart because of their love and loss for the sun himself

Anyway leads me to say a deuce sabo version would be an odd kind of arrangement, Sabo lets Deuce kick his ass until he feels guilty, until all he sees is Ace lying beneath him with a black eye and a split lip and then Sabo surges up to comfort this hollow empty space within Deuce who , has nothing to lose clings onto the offered comfort he doesnt apologise only to the vision of Ace hes concocted

Maybe Deuce ends up loving Sabo, Sabo however wont feel the same

[anxiety-thyme]

First Friday fic night is here again!

For a refresher you can see what this is about here. Last month was Snow White With the Red Hair .

In last month's poll you degenerates voted for Real Slow Burn - 100k words or more. I should've known. Since we are focused on fic type we are going to hit a few different fandoms.

Voting for next month's topic at the end!

I had a couple of requirements for myself when choosing fics this month otherwise I wouldn't have known where to start and the list would be too long. It's already really long tbh.

The 100K word count had to be for the single fic - not for a series.

The wordcount had to actually be above 100k. No cheating with those 98K fics.

The ship had to be a main part of the story, not an afterthought.

No more than two fics per fandom.

I have to have read it more than once. <- I'm aware of what this says about me. I'm the degenerate actually.

If you've read some of the fics I've posted previously you might have picked up on the very specific vibe in most of what I recommend. Yes, I am just now realizing it and no I don't want to talk about it. Yes maybe a hug wouldn't hurt. We actually have a few that won't leave you emotionally damaged this month!

I thought I'd start with some fandoms we haven't hit yet. As always mind the tags. There is definitely smut.

My Hero Academia

Pairing: Todoroki/Bakugou I'll admit, I was unsure whether to include any MHA since the fandom can be A. Lot. especially when ships are involved. That said, I live in my own little corner of the internet and there are some phenomenal writers hidden away if you go look for it.

The lights are all out (its a big big city), by shaekspeares

"Izuku leaves for America for six months; Shouto fights his way into the Top 5 Hero Rank, takes out Godzilla, reconnects with a criminal, adopts a cat, and has several belated emotional crises (not necessarily in that order). He might also be in love with Bakugou, but that's another problem altogether.

Izuku probably shouldn't leave him to his own devices anymore."

I enjoy everything shaekspeares writes in the fandom. Their prose is beautiful and their work feels fully rested within the universe while telling compelling and emotional stories.

Candy Canes and Christmas Crackers, by bigdorkenergy

“So….your huge family somehow all think that you have a long term boyfriend and are insisting that you bring him to your week long Christmas family reunion?” Despite his efforts the end of his question raised in pitch as Kirishma swallowed down a giggle.

“How does that even happen?” Kaminari added popping some of the hashbrowns Bakugou made into his mouth.

_

OR your classic holiday romcom where Bakugou needs a fake boyfriend to bring home for Christmas and Todoroki is willing to take that bullet."

I'm not big on Christmas fics. Not for any particular reason I don't think? But, I am a big sucker for fake dating fics. This is adorable and so pure as these two do the whole friends to lovers thing.

Okay. Are you ready for this?

BBC Sherlock

(I know, right?? What is this 2012??)

Pairing: Sherlock/Watson

Performance In a Leading Role, by Mad_Lori

"Sherlock Holmes is an Oscar winner in the midst of a career slump. John Watson is an Everyman actor trapped in the rom-com ghetto. When they are cast as a gay couple in a new independent drama, will they surprise each other? Will their on-screen romance make its way into the real world?"

I know I've said this a few times, but I don't read a lot of true AUs but of course there are always exceptions. This is done so well that I don't think you have to be in the fandom or know anything about the characters at all and you would still enjoy it. The slow build from distain to love is really well done.

Community

Paring: Annie/Jeff (don't @me) I know Community isn't everyone's thing but there is some great fic out there just sayin'

It's Always Open Season on Princesses, Elsiesnuffin

"Annie is given the opportunity to do some travelling over the summer after her second year at Greendale."

This is very Roman Holiday-esque. It's a fun romp through Italy while Jeff figures his shit out. Jeff figuring his shit out is my bias. Also, is that a fanfiction.net link I see? 👀

Attack on Titan

pairing: Erwin/Levi

Small Mercies, by Calacreda

"Levi misses Erwin in the margin between sleeping and waking. He thinks about Erwin when he steps out of a hot bath into cold air. He imagines Erwin’s new life, his new vocation, his new family, when the seasons change, or when he blows the candles out, or now, as the sun sets. The only space he does so is a space of a threshold. It does not feel good or bad. It does not feel happy or sad. Levi realises now, however, that this is not the same as it feeling nothing."

Six years after the War ends and they part ways, Levi finds himself at Erwin's door again."

I cannot express how beautiful this is. I've read it so many times and I still cry each time. Levi feels so raw and real as someone who has never really known family and doesn't have the words to put to what he wants and how he feels.

Tiny Anthem, by onthearrow

"Levi swore to Erwin he would kill the Beast Titan. But how can he follow such an order when it's Erwin himself he pulls from its nape?"

Okay, imagine that you have spent years recovering from the grief of losing someone you loved, healing from a toxic relationship, learning to be comfortable in your skin, taking on a role you never asked for and fighting to create a space for yourself in the world. Got it? Now imagine the person you were grieving turns out to not be dead. And also, they don't know who you are. Oh and they have been brainwashed by the enemy. That feels good, right?

I am embarrassed by how many times I've read this. Every time a new chapter came out I would start from the beginning again. I finally promised myself 5 chapters ago that I wasn't allowed to start all over from the beginning until the final chapter comes out. It should be soooon.

Teen Wolf

pairing: Stiles/Derek

Home, by TheTypeWriterGirl

"January seventh. Seven days since the start of 2015, and seven days since his father’s death.

The bastard, he thinks bitterly. The past year Derek Hale had made it blatantly obvious that he hated his scrawny guts, taking every given opportunity to shove him up against a wall, growl threats in his ears and roll his eyes whenever he stepped into the room, muttering some snide comment about how spastic or idiotic he was.

So why did he fucking volunteer to take him in?"

Here is the thing. Not only is this fantastic, but the companion piece that is about Derek and Stiles' parents is also good. I didn't think I'd be able to read a fic about parents who are almost non-existent in the show without the characters from the show in it. I did here and I couldn't put it down.

The Hollow Moon, by thepsychicclam

"It's the summer after Stiles' first year of college, and he's working a crappy job and dealing with nightmares and anxiety - but he's okay, he swears. He makes it through most days without too much trouble. Then, a certain werewolf comes back into town. Which Stiles doesn't care about, nope, not at all.

After two and a half years, Derek returns to Beacon Hills with his small Pack. Though he tried to move on, something just kept drawing him back to Beacon Hills, he's just not sure what. Now, he figures he can start building something like a life - but he keeps getting distracted by Stiles Stilinski of all people."

I know this makes me awful but I'm a sucker for post Nogitsune Stiles. Nightmares? Yes. Disassociation from reality? Bring it. Add in a dash of Derek recognizing what he's going through and I'm there.

There are two fandoms missing that I would have loved to include however:

Snow White With the Red Hair: There are only 2 100+ Obiyuki fics on AO3 so they didn't feel in the spirit of this month's recommendations.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Let's be real most of what I have bookmarked is just straight up porn and not terribly long. That said, there is one really good story that I love but when I went back and looked at the word count turns out it is only like 50K words?

Tell me how much you like them on a scale of Abba to shoulder cat!

Do you like looking at fics by themes or do you prefer by fandom? Let me know.

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Review Blurbs: Barbie (2023)

~General Thoughts~

-I thought this movie would be like... PG. And then it got really emotional when Barbie was looking through Gloria's memories of the days when her and her daughter were at their happiest before Sasha grew up. And then Barbie got called a fascist. So

-Margot Robbie is an insanely talented actor. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure how well the movie would've done for me if I wasn't invested in the main character but Margot completely ate the role and made the story of Stereotypical Barbie very endearing to watch

-The pacing was surprisingly good for me, I'm usually really picky about pacing but they were able to balance out transitioning from the silly stuff to serious and back again pretty well, Greta Gerwig you have my applause

-Its an interesting detail that the Real World is still intentionally somewhat unrealistic and caricature-ish similar to the Barbie world is; not sure if that's just Greta's style or if there was a reason for it, made the movie a little jarring imo but I'd love to know why she did it and what effect she was going for

-The fact that Barbie wasn't interested in Ken and rejected him and it was treated as a good thing is just *chef's kiss*

-The Kens fight scene being a colorful musical number with eccentric choreography was so fun to watch I want more

-I don't care what you've been through, nothing could've prepared anyone for that gynecology line. Its such a genius way to remind you that Barbie now has to deal with the biological changes of becoming human. 10/10

-Allan beating up the construction worker Kens was the best moment 10/10

-Speaking of Allan, I loved how Allan was a metaphor for someone who doesn't fit into the gender binary. He was the only non Barbie/Ken, had his own unique name and was always uncomfortable/disappointed with the world around him no matter who was in charge, which was a great way to subtly insert this kind of character. He happily sided with the Barbies to help take down the Kens, embracing all the pink and cheering alongside them when they won, while also looking very sad during the part where the Kens were realizing they failed. Just all of it screamed gender-non conforming to me. I've seen some interpretations saying Allan is a representation of a gay man (being more of a "Ken" presentation wise but finding more of a space among women and being deeply uncomfortable with patriarchy perpetuated by straight men) and some saying he's nonbinary (wanting to leave Barbieland behind and never being satisfied no matter who was in charge); either way, what they did with Allan was very cool and I'm glad some queerness, even if subtle and less prominent, was included in the movie)

-Similarly, Weird Barbie isn't getting nearly enough love. She was one of the most fun characters for me (Kate McKinnon magic, duh) and she like Allan could definitely represent someone out of the cishetero-normative/gender binary (I've seen people saying she's very queer-coded and it honestly makes sense, she tends to dress and act in more un-feminine ways which I think says butch lesbian but its up to interpretation) I am also very gay for her give her more attention cause she deserves it, seriously

-John Cena mermaid

-Simu Liu Ken constantly antagonizing Ryan Gosling Ken over Barbie's attention and being the better Ken within Barbieland is a metaphor for how patriarchy will put women against each other for the attention of men and make women fight each other too much to realize who the real enemy is

-Margot Robbie being acknowledged as "not the best to make this point about ugliness" was fantastic lmao, love the meta-narration

-The way Ken's story arc and the commentary around patriarchy with the incel-pipeline was very strong, and I respect Greta for critiquing it the way she did (I made a full post here )

-Ken and Ken should've kissed. Any of them. All of them.

-Barbie deciding to be human in the end despite her whole journey being about wanting to be a perfect Barbie doll again and her being terrified of flat feet and cellulite but then telling that old woman how beautiful she was and watching humans be normal and mimicking their expressions because even though its scary she wants to feel the way humans do because she sees the beauty in it and its a love letter to women and to people and the complexity of our messy species omfg I'm gonna cry other people said it better than me so go look at their stuff

-Barbie helping out Ken despite everything he'd done because she didn't want things to go back to how they were when Barbies ruled the world, she wanted something different, better, and she helped the person she had every right to want to hurt because we're supposed to be better than those who hurt us

~Criticisms~

-As an add-on to the caricature blurb, I felt a bit weird watching cause Greta's style recreated facets of misogyny as a caricature, so things like patriarchal brainwashing, sexual assault and other very harmful misogynist rhetoric were told in a slapstick way. I was uncomfortable throughout a lot of it, and I'm still deciding if I consider it a genuine criticism to have such matters told in this way or if its just personal preference; would like to know other thoughts if you're willing to share. Regardless, just be aware of it if that stuff's triggering to you so you're prepared for it

-Loved the emphasis on uplifting femininity in Barbie, and I understand the metaphor behind the change, but I can't help feel they pulled a Breakfast Club with Sasha going from her all black attire to suddenly very feminine and with makeup. Being gender non-conforming isn't just for queer people, lots of women are like this and it feels like media makes it seem like this kind of woman is impossible. Not all women wear makeup, not all women are feminine, and I would love for a more masculine/GNC woman character to be able to actually be that. I'll forgive it a bit since Barbies' styles kinda revolve around makeup, and Weird Barbie was consistently butch, just wish characters that are brought up with the prospect of gender-nonconformity could actually stay that way

~Final Thoughts~

Surprisingly good! Don't get me wrong, movies with this style can be good for sure but with the recent surge of mediocre movies I didn't have too much faith. However, I was very happy with how enjoyable and passionate it was. Highly recommend if you like caricature-type works, and/or want to get into some basic feminist ideology in a more fun way that's still very meaningful and heartfelt. Barbie is not just a feminist critique, but a love letter to women, girl hood, and the complexities of humans and how beautiful that can be <3

[ageless-aislynn]

Last line tag game

Tagged by @thephaeronsforge aka @sarnakhwritesthings Thanks so much! ❤

Kai smiled.

"Recreation" chapter 3, allllmost done but not quite there. 🤞😣🤞

Since that was so small, literally almost not able to even be much smaller, lol, I thought I'd turn to its sibling fic "15 Minutes" chapter 7 also in progress and

"There's no such thing," you muttered.

Yep, also pretty short sooooo how do you feel about the opening to the original fic that's also part of my Camp NaNo? Yeah, hardly a last line, I know, but well... It's never going to see the light of day in any form so I thought it would be fun to share it here. 👀🤷‍♀️

It began as an idle idea for a very AU Mass Effect: Andromeda reader fic that I knew I'd never actually write and post because it was simply pulling waaaaay too far away from the source, dumping all of the lore and such, so what was the point? Then I realized, hey, that's means it's FREE REAL ESTATE for making it my own thing, right? 😛

However, for this purpose, I put the ME:A names, references, etc. back in and made it a reader fic again. It also seems to read kinda like a Halo hybrid because that's what ya girl's been writing over in Fanficville so...? 🤷‍♀️😉

Under a read more because of the length. I'll also mention here so it's not necessary to click through that I'm tagging anybody who'd like to do this. *boops your nose politely* 😉 Definitely let me know if you do, though, 'cause I'd love to read it! 🤗

The first thing you noticed was Alec Ryder standing ramrod-stiff at attention, awaiting your arrival as if you were a five-star general and he was a cadet worried he hadn't shined his boots properly enough. "Ma'am," he said, his tone stern but polite. He offered his arm as if he really didn't want to. Interesting. Had you read his file wrong? He'd been out here alone far longer than he should've been allowed to be. The prospect of bare fingertips brushing the back of his hand should've had him quivering in anticipation. You'd heard of others having to actually stun-stop their Pathfinders at their initial meeting. It had never happened to you but… It was part of your training to know it could. But clearly not here, not today. You'd worn your gloves, just in case. You stepped out of the shuttle with your lone rucksack in one hand and put the other on the sleeve of his forearm, letting him assist you down as if you were royalty. Your dead implant flared in the back of your brain despite the double barrier of fabric between you. He was shielding hard but this was what you did, what you were, and wisps of emotions were leaking through. He was… anxious. "Welcome to Heleus," he said, adding your title and last name. You thought about correcting him with your first name but sensed he preferred the formality so merely said, "Thank you." He broke contact as soon as politeness allowed, folding his hands behind his back. "I'm afraid I can't give you a tour right now, I have duties to attend to. But Sam can guide you to your room, give you the lay of the land. Most of the station is still in shutdown but he'll turn the lights on for you if you'd like to look around." "Ah, all right then," you said but you were saying it to the crisp, neatly-pressed back of his black and red uniform as he gave a quick nod and strode away. You were supposed to be ready for anything but you decided to allow yourself a short but heartfelt thought of What in the actual hell? Then you tucked it away and went looking for Sam. Maybe he would be glad to see you? It would be nice if someone was.

Alec Ryder for visual reference. 😎 Andromeda has a LOT of character types that I love but this particular idea felt like it paired SO nicely with Mr. Emotionally Repressed Pathfinder Sr. so I, um, yoinked him out of canon and, you know, repurposed him. As one does. 😐😂

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

Speak Now Taylor's Version Thoughts!!!

dude this post is longgggg

Mine TV:

Mine stolen version has been my favorite song recently so I'm really excited!

AHHHHHHH 20 SECONDS!!!

this is like better than Christmas to me

it's just the "ah-ah-ah-ah"s and I'm already crying

she sounds so much more grown up 🥹

I want you to know that I'm actually crying rn

I only just realized that SNTV is almost 2hrs long... it's ten now and I have to be up at six....

Sparks Fly TV:

awwww Sparks Fly's canvas is her singing it in Nashville 💜

the country twang 🥹😭

fun fact: this song makes me think of dean winchester

I would meet her in the pouring rain literally any day of the week

omg I just saw the SNTV post and she looks so pretty

Back To December TV:

I love this song so much

I can definitely hear the differences a lot more in this one

BRB crying

somehow this one sounds even more regretful than the original

there's a lot less of the orchestral strings which I'm kinda sad about

I'm sorry, her little voice shake on understand???? I'm sobbing

yeah there's def more guitar

Speak Now TV:

omg title track time bby

her vocals have matured so much 🥹

it almost sounds like 19yo taylor is doing backing vocals in the chorus

she didn't do the giggle??

Ok she's forgiven, somehow the bridge got better

nvm I thought the giggle was in a different spot, it's still there

Dear John TV:

side-eyes john mayer

tears just tears 😭😭

the way she says "I should've know" I'm bawling

I literally blacked out for that entire song

Mean TV:

dancing to the little banjo moment while still crying from dear John lol

she sounds so petty at the bridge lmfaoooo

The Story Of Us TV:

I wonder if she's gonna keep "next chapter" and "the end"

omfg she did!!! she sounds so good!!!!

pop-rock is where she shines

I love the guitar solo so fucking much

I love her "the end" so much

Never Grow Up TV:

this one is gonna make me ugly cry

the bridge is gonna kill me

I literally curled up in a ball and cried for the entire song

Enchanted TV:

I really hope we get more speak now on the setlist now that Taylor's version is out

the amount of joy the TV of this song gives me is indescribable

nearly bridge time

*the woman was too stunned to speak*

it's so good guys

Better Than Revenge TV:

omfg the intro is so so good

I don't mind the lyric change, I understand that it didnt reflect current taylor anymore

also it fits really well

altho I saw someone say that it was a fountain pen line in a gel pen song and I do agree

Innocent TV:

I made it to the first chorus before I started crying lol

I want you to know that I am fighting to get through this album for you guys, I am so so so tired

Haunted TV:

this one I'm really excited for

omg the echoing????

it's giving dark cave in the forest while it's raining vibes

the "I know" repetion?!?!?!

she sounds so angry in the last chorus and I love it

Last Kiss TV:

not one of my faves from the original SN so this is gonna be hard for me to get through this tired

yeah I zoned out for that entire song lol

Long Live TV:

I'm gonna cry (I actually didn't, idk how)

I want a long Live tattoo

I think this will really cement that

I can't get one yet because of reasons but by god do I want one

this song holds such a special place in my heart cause I associate it so much with my friends

Ours TV:

I think I've listened to the stolen version of this song like twice??

tbh I love the chorus but the rest of this song is kinda meh to me

Superman TV:

same category as ours

not my fave

Electric Touch feat. FOB TV FTV:

I need this song injected into my veins, oh my lord

taylor and Patrick sound so fucking good together

again like I blacked out for this song lol

When Emma Falls In Love TV FTV:

a piano moment??

it's giving folklore

"jokes about the ways this one could go wrong" me

"little miss sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain" ow

now I wanna know who Emma is

"takes on the pain and bears it on her own" again ow

🥹😭😭

I Can See You TV FTV:

I have heard a little about this one but all I know is that it's so it goes and dress's raunchier older sister

synths??!?!

omg this was written in 2010?????????? miss girl????

"up against the wall with me" 👀😳, taylor-- what?

I did not know she had this in her, holy shit

ok I def know why this wasn't on the original

"jacket on the floor" girl 😳

"start behaving myself" what the actual fuck?!?!!

I'm gonna need some time to process this lol

Castles Crumbling feat Hayley Williams TV FTV:

oh this is gonna hurt isn't it

I'm 20 seconds in and I know this is gonna hurt

this fuckin hurts

again, I blacked out lol

dude this is how I feel about my family, I went from being the golden child to being hated by my dad's side because I look and act too much like my mom

I only know like two songs by Hayley but her voice fits the song and she sounds great

Foolish One TV FTV:

damn I'm only on the first verse and she did not need to at me like that

god ow

"I will do my best to seem bulletproof" FOR FUCK SAKE TAYLOR JUST CALL THIS SONG SPRITE WHY DONT YOU

😦 -> me the entire time

dude this fucking hurt

the end made me cry 😭

Timeless TV FTV:

it came on while I was in the shower so I don't have any notes besides that it's an adorable song

[sammy-is-not-smiley]

Curly Girl

Steve Harrington x fem!reader

S4 SPOILER FREE

Summary: Steve sees you with your hair down for the first time and insists you have curly hair... and that he should style it for you.

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings/tags: Some skin to skin contact, but this is all super fluff.

A/N: I diffused my curls the other night and got this idea when I realized I was out of hair spray lol haven't posted my fanfics before but I figured I should start. Thanks for reading ❤️

No matter if it was hot or cold out, you always found a way to wear your hair up…. Except today you were about to compromise. The day was especially frigid and just breezy enough to freeze your ears to the point they hurt. To add to it the sun wasn't even out AND you forgot your scarf. A shiver struck down your spine, violent enough to catch Steve's attention next to you as he walked you home from work.

He sighed, dejected, and began stripping his jacket off. "Look I told you, just take my coat-"

"I don't need the coat, Steve," You insisted as you attempted to stuff your neck into your own jacket. It didn't work, the jacket barely had any collar to snuggle into and no hood. "I need a scarf…. Or a hat."

"Damn, I knew I should've driven today," He muttered.

"But I like walking with you."

Steve shook his head, a knowing smile on his face. "You're miserable."

"I was late, okay? I know exactly where my scarf is at home too. Besides, I can manage." You replied. Another breeze bit at your face and made you wince. Everything seemingly against you, you gave in and reached up to take out the neat bun resting at the back of your head. Funnily enough, getting the bun just right was what had made you late that morning. 

You used your finger tips to loosen your roots and let your hair fall down over your ears. You could tell just by feeling it that it had gone frizzy again, the dry winter air definitely not helping matters. To try and retain some heat you pressed your hair to your ears with your palms. 

Steve gazed over at you and realized your hair was longer than he had initially thought. "I don't think I've ever seen you with it down." You heard him say, muffled slightly by your hands.

You turned slightly and looked at him. "Well mom won't let me cut it and it's always frizzy anyway. Trust me, I wouldn't have it down right now if my ears didn't feel like they were about to fall off," You chuckled, beginning to get self conscious as you pet it down a bit. 

"It's probably because you have curly hair," He replied without missing a beat. 

You pointed a baffled expression at him. "Huh?"

"The frizz," he gestured towards his own hair, "It's probably because your hair is curly."

You laughed sardonically. "Steve, I don't have curly hair, it's just damaged."

"What do you mean, I see it trying to curl right here," He argued as he reached over and tugged at a piece of your hair in the back. "And here," He tugged another. 

You batted his hand away half heartedly. "Shut up, no it's not." You replied with a smile, however there was a tinge of seriousness behind it. You hadn't had curly hair a day in your life, just frizz and troubles. The fact that your mother never commented on it either sealed your conviction as well. 

Steve's face lit up suddenly and he sped up to be slightly in front of you as you two walked. "I can prove it!" He exclaimed with a goofy grin and a sparkle in his eye. "Let me do your hair."

Your head swerved back in surprise. "Do my hair?" 

"Yeah! I'm like 99.999% positive you have curly hair just waiting to bounce up and frame that face of yours." 

You gave him a skeptical look. "Yeah right." 

"Listen-" He shuffled in front of you, making you both stop on the sidewalk, "I’m so positive we can just make it a bet." 

You smirked and crossed your arms, leaning over on one leg. You liked the sound of that, now it was a game. "Alright, fine. You lose and you have to…” You pondered for a moment, trying to think of something you would pay to see. Then it comes to you. “You have to run around your block in nothing but your underwear.” A little dumb, but it was on the spot. Plus it was something you would find hilarious... and you also wouldn’t mind admiring the sight of him doing that from afar. 

Steve rolled his eyes and put his hands on his hips. “Seriously?”

You nodded once. “And you have to jump in the pool after.”

He put his hands up, stopping you from adding anything else. “Okay, sure, sure,” His eyes were wide and he shook his head exasperated. Now you really hoped he couldn’t make your hair curl naturally. “But if you lose,” He continued and pointed a finger in your face. “You have to go on at least one date with me.”

You raise a brow at him incredulously. This wasn’t the first time he’s asked you this. The amount of times you’ve rejected him could fill up a notebook as this point. It wasn’t because you didn’t like him or weren’t attracted to him though, quite the opposite in fact. But you had told him before and you would tell him again: You don’t want a relationship to ruin the friendship. You didn’t want to take any chances when it came to possibly losing him. The scar on your arm from battling demo-dogs with him was evidence of that. 

But if you lost… a single date couldn’t hurt. It was only one, right?

He held your gaze while you thought it over. “What’d’ya say?” He asked like you both had nothing to lose.

You pulled your fingers down along your frizzy hair, which was growing worse by the second. There’s no way you had curly hair. 

“You’re insufferable, Harrington…. Deal.”

__________

The water felt magical on your face and ears as it cascaded down, covering you in a blanket of calm and warmth. You could finally feel your ears again and the weight of the grime from work was finally off your shoulders.

“Hey,” A voice from the door drifted through the steam to you, “Be sure that when you get out you don’t use the towel to dry your hair, just leave it dripping wet.”

“Okay,” You called back. 

“And remember to let that conditioner sit in your hair for a while.”

“I know.”

“Oh and brushing it out while you’re in the shower with the conditioner on is better-”

“Steve, I know!” You laughed. He already gave you this run down before you got in his shower. “You’re a control freak, you know that?”

“The process is important!” He whined back at you. “If you mess up the process your side of the bet is null and void and I win by default!” 

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight a smile from spreading across your face. You turned, putting down the comb and rinsed out the conditioner Steve had gotten for you. Running your hands through it you noticed a foreign smoothness in the texture. Your fingers glided through the strands more easily, but you couldn’t tell if that was from the brushing you just did or the conditioner. 

Finally satisfied with the time spent warming up and treating your hair, you got out of the shower, dried, and began to put on your clean clothes. You weren’t about to put on your work outfit back on until you absolutely had to, so when you had gotten home earlier you grabbed a new set and went to the store with Steve for the conditioner.  

Once dressed, you opened the door and felt a blast of fresh, cool air hit your face. Your new shirt was already soaked at the shoulders considering you hadn’t yet tried to dry your hair yet, per Steve’s instruction. 

“Alright, dingus, I’m ready.” 

Immediately Steve appeared in the doorway. “About time! The whole town’s probably out of hot water ‘cause of you,” He muttered, but the glee clearly written on his face told you he was genuinely excited to work his magic. 

After wiping down the mirror from condensation, he grabbed hold of your wet shoulders and turned you away from the mirror. “You’re not allowed to look till I’m done.”

You scoffed “And what if I do?”

“Null and void,” He he sang into your ear with a cheeky grin. “Now flip your hair forward so your hair is hanging down.”

You did so, happy to get it off your soaked shoulders. You had no idea what he was doing and you could have sworn he was using one of his t-shirts to dry your hair, but you said nothing. At this point he was going through so much trouble that you wanted it to both succeed and fail. 

Mousse squelched into his palm and you could hear it sizzle as he worked it into your hair, getting a dab of it almost inside your ear. You had pulled away and suppressed a laugh when his working hands got too close to your neck to wipe it away. 

“Hold still, giggles,” He said in a playful tone, however when you glanced over at him his face gave off full concentration. 

Eventually, after he was done making you flip your head every which way under the sun, he wiped his hands on your used towel, then bent down and grabbed the hair dryer from under the sink. He then began to attach another object to the nozzle. 

“The hell is that thing?”

He plugged the cord into the wall. “It’s a diffuser, now shush,” he replied, switching on the dryer. 

Over the course of 30 minutes he repeated the same movement over and over. Not once did you try to peak at your hair, even in your peripheral. If this worked, you wanted it to be a surprise. You could feel your stomach jump every time you felt him gently adjust your head angle or ran his hand up your bare neck. He was in such close proximity you caught a whiff of his cologne every so often. He was so close to you you began to just want to lean against him.

“Steve, my feet hurt,” You griped over the whir of the dryer, trying to ignore your thoughts.

“Almost done, I swear!” He responded. 

A couple more minutes and you heard the dryer turn off, leaving an empty space in your ears replaced by the sound of an aerosol can spraying. Another smile fought its way onto you’re face. 

Farrah Fawcett. 

You knew the smell, your mother used it almost religiously. Only recently did you learn that Steve did too. 

After some fluffing and a coughing fit from the both of you, you finally heard the can clink down on the counter. Steve rounded in front of you and began adjusting the top and sides framing your face. He delicately grasped your chin and turned your head as he adjusted your bangs. The brush of his fingers made your skin tingle, and when he let go it felt cold.

When he was finally content with his work, he grinned widely and grabbed your shoulders once more. “You ready to see?” His voice was dripping with excitement, he looked like he was about to burst at the seams. 

With a smile and nod from you, he whipped you around to the mirror. You froze. 

“What the….”

Shock. Utter and genuine shock. 

“What do you think? It’s good, right? Well I mean good enough, I’ve only ever done mine and Dust’s hair and- and you have a lot more than I’ve ever worked with but uh….” He shrugged. “It’s hot.”

Your hand came up and began to feel at the fluff draped over your shoulders. How did he manage to get rid of so much frizz? And since when did your hair decide to be curly?

“This is insane!” You finally burst, bouncing up and down on your tip toes in happiness. “There’s so much volume and my face even looks slimmer- and look! A perfect noodle curl right here!” You pulled a strand down and watched it bounce back up when you let it go. 

He beamed at you in the mirror, pride overlapping his features. “Yep, looks like you’re a curly girl now... And you know what?” He leaned in closer. “I told you so.”

It took a moment to register what he said while you admired your hair, but once you did you went stiff. . 

His knowing smirk reflected back at you when you glanced at him in the mirror. 

With a sigh of defeat, you turn to look at him face to face. “Alright, fine… you win-”

“What was that?” He cupped his ear at you obnoxiously. 

You crossed your arms. “I said you win, Harrington.”

“One more time?” 

“Are you waiting for a ‘null and void’ of your own? ‘Cause you’re pushin’ it.” 

He put his hands up in surrender and he mocked by bowing his head. “Oh dear, my apologies, your highness.”

Shaking your head in annoyance, you turned back to the mirror for one last bout of admiration. 

“Well, if you’re going to take me out, you better do it tonight. Lord knows I’m not getting it like this again on my own.” You imparted with a fluff of your locks. “But only one date, that was the deal.”

“No, no, I said at least one date. Very open ended statement, completely different-”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed the hair dryer, blasting it in his face for a moment. He jerked back, resting his hand on it to press it down. “Pushing it,” You warned. 

He leaned into your personal space. “Well can we at least push it to a diner? I’m hungry and I have my word to live up to.”

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