#reality is subjective anyway
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Kingdom Hearts feels like a response to the “what if we’re living in a simulation and aren’t ‘real’” theory and the answer is So what. Does it change anything. Does it erase everything we have felt and experienced. Do we not still love others and do they not still love us. Are we any less alive than we are now. No. So quit being nihilistic and go appreciate how cool it is to be able to love and care about things.
#kingdom hearts#this concept used to freak me out but after kh it doesn’t really scare me anymore#cause yeah i mean. it really doesn’t change anything. it doesn’t mean life suddenly doesn’t matter#reality is subjective anyway
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You have probably answered this before, but have you ever considered becoming a published author ? Your writing style is soo good
sure lol i’ve considered it but the older i’ve gotten & the more i’ve learned abt how the publishing industry actually works the less it’s become a priority… “author” was like my dream job as a kid but it takes a lot of time & money & connections that i simply don’t have rn 2 write & publish novels so! maybe one day i’ll give it a go but 4 now i’m more focused on writing & publishing nonfiction articles/research as part of my work…of course that is not something i will make money from lol but it’s what i’ve gotta do if i want a shot at building a career in my desired field so. current priority lies there…
anyway appreciate the compliment glad u enjoy my writing <3 let’s all hold hands & enjoy it 4 free…
#also feel like. in recent years 2 ‘make it’ as an author u have 2 like…become an influencer lol#which is NOT something i would ever want 2 subject myself to. if i was gonna publish i’d wanna remain a recluse…#anyway. feel like sometimes there is this idea that u just need 2 be a ‘good writer’ 2 get published but that is not the case lol#in reality it seems u need connections/money & marketing skills. none of which i have !#so for now i just have fun writing fic & my nonfiction writing is my actual work#supposed 2 be getting a paper published this year which is v exciting…just sent it into the editors this week….#also technically do have one (1) poem published in an anthology but will not be sharing my real name on here. so xx#<- that’s the other thing if i did get published idk if id share on here i want 2 remain mostly anonymous…don’t want my real name that will#be tied 2 my research 2 also be tied 2 hp fanfiction lol#ask
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wait im sorry. ive never read past the first book of dotc and all my knowledge of it really just comes from your blogs. wh. why did the erins decide to include sexual violence in warriors? like. that seems a little. too much? like all im hearing of dotc is just. terrible shit. i like reading more angst/serious stuff (i wanna say darker but not in the way "dark media" usually means on this site) but this feels like WAYYY to much for a book series meant for kids....... what were they thinking??
I legitimately do not understand what people like about DOTC. You can go back to where I started this re-read, and you can visibly watch my charitability drain as the project goes on.
It feels like literally everything that people say they like about this arc is not there, while they've completely forgotten or misremembered SERIOUSLY awful shit
And now, listen. I'm a huge fan of xenofiction, which is a genre that is full of kid's and teen's media, but I do love more adult fiction. I love nuanced themes, dark subjects, and complicated plots.
DOTC's message is just plain odious. None of what it sets out to say is worth saying, and it's borderline incompetent at even saying it to begin with.
What they want to say with Clear Sky and Slash is that Clear Sky isn't "evil." He's a "fundamentally good person," and all of his intentions were good, so he learned a valuable lesson from all the abuse and murder. To say this, they CONTRAST him to Slash, a REAL evil person, who just loves hurting kids and harassing women. Clear Sky is good because he is not "real evil" like this fake, cartoon caricature we just made up.
There was absolutely zero need for them to write Slash the way they did. They really want you to be distressed for Clear Sky as his wife is assaulted in front of him and hauled off while kicking and screaming, and they decided the best way to do that was pregnant woman pinning face licking. Sexual violence is an easy way to disgust and anger an audience, simple as that.
As a kid you may not realize how messed up it is (though the asks I get on this blog are a testament to how many kids did, but didn't have the words to express their discomfort) but as an adult with your critical thinking on? It hits different.
#I do think there are books for kids which can handle these topics well#because the sad reality is... well. kids go through things they shouldn't have to#And it's *good* when they can find material for their age that addresses it in a respectful way#but wc is NOT that series.#These subjects are not handled tastefully or tactfully#and ive said it before and ill say it again#but what KILLS me about clear vs his two foil villains is that real abusers act like Clear.#They don't act like the other two.#Clear is SO real. Sometimes it feels like being ported right back into that position again#With a bunch of adults trying to force me to spend more time with that abuser#I know these excuses. I've heard them all.#And I've HEARD them make up some insane strawman to justify why the abuse done to me wasn't so bad#Much like what this story is doing with its two late-book villains#so it hits man.#Anyway stick around and we'll get to the scene. It's in this book towards the end
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Why do I feel like a lot of criticism of OFMD here is widely exaggerated and it became trendy to hate on it? What happened to death of cringe?
#many people are like 'oh it's so bad' but it really isn't? what did you guys actually want?#I'm almost 30 i watched/read THOUSANDS of narratives and it's pretty reasonable writing for comedy trading about deeply un-comedic subjects#the characters are consistent the plot is going forward on a course that is quite expected (not a bad thing)#things get resolved quickly because why not it's comedy dealing about uncomedic things it can afford comedic timing instead of drama timing#it's warping reality the way horror warps reality even though the goal is different the genres are more similar than you'd think#nobody cares about the unrealistic aspects of let's say Malignant so why nitpick things here#anyway you'd think what you want but i just can't agree#ofmd#our flag means death
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stargazing . or cloudgazing? euri's mind is an enigma. let the guy sleep
edit oh fuck me i forgot his ponytail. whatever
#nuカーニバル#nu carnival#nu carnival euri#nuca euri#euri matsuri#id tag this as quincy but hes literally just sitting there in the corner. anyways#i should draw him more. hoououg hes right there for the drawing#anyways sorry for the STYLE CHANGE im still very unfamiliar with this angle and im slowly learning it#but to do that.. I must first subject myself to the horrible reality of working with semi/realism v_v#but hes cute as shit so ~☆!!!!#my art
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why is it that reading is one of the hardest things to do when your personhood is being semi-subsumed by your mental illness, yet also one of the easiest fucking ways to keep your personhood from being semi-subsumed by your mental illness in the first place? what the fuck is up with that? who decided that this would be the way things work, & where do i go to find them?
#sol chats#i think the tag was different before but it is that now sorry guys.#anyway in TOTALLY unrelated news i’m about a third of the way through the motorcycle diaries & it is very good thus far.#like obviously it is just super compelling to be granted insight into the personal & experiential development of such a major and#impactful political figure and to get to see the influences and the insights that built themselves into the man & revolutionary he later#became and the ways in which his sense of romance acts as a through line therein in many ways. but also it is just wonderful as a work of#literature honestly. like the way guevara chooses to honestly & humorously approach the subject of identity- both as it pertains to his#view of his own & the way identity is prescribed- is both very thoughtfully done & somewhat atypical within this style#of memoir which makes it all the more refreshing. & there’s this very clear almost brazen intentionality to the way he approaches atmosphe#-e. it’s unflinching without being jarring or abrasive. it simply is. and as such it leads to these incredibly vivid depictions of event#in which the image of them is enhanced by their recreation rather than marred by what could not be recaptured. and like he’s very clearly#self-aware & very very considerate of how and what it is he says in relation to that which he is trying to relay.#like cintio vitier says in the introduction that “it isn’t literary skill but fidelity to experience and narrative effectiveness that is#sought. when both are attained skill follows naturally taking its allotted place neither blinding nor disturbing but making its#contribution. here with little fumbling or hesitation che’s style is already formed. the years would polish it just as he himself polishe#his will with the pleasure of an artist though not a wordsmith: a quiet shyness forced him not to dwell too much but to push on with the#words howard the poetry of the naked image which his minimal touch turned into reality. his “i—it-in-me” circle opens and closes continual#-without ever becoming dense accommodating a style that prefers to remain hidden. The prose on the page sheds light though it does not dra#on the imperceptible lightness of the narrative. it flows between description of feeling and narrative accounts in which he searches for#himself and sometimes even seems to be watching us.” & just like yeah. Yeah! that is really the most apt way to put it!#cintio vitier that was so fucking real. like there’s something both clawingly forward & very intimately retrospective about it & guevara#very much uses this contradiction to his advantage. there’s something almost prescient about it due to the framing of the perspective bein#that we are listening equally to guevara as experiencer & editor that deeply grounds the reader in the narrative’s present. like it’s just#an interestingly written piece of literature.
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In early 2021 I wrote an essay titled "Loving The Yellowstone Grizzly," when the future of the Bitterroot grizzlies was to be decided by the USFWS - I revisited it today. These are a few passages. ID is in alt text.
#essay was mostly on modern and historical grizzly - human relations in the rockies and cascades#and about the realities of grizzly bear reintroduction. a subject i am very passionate about.#anyways#my writing#beckett.txt#grizzly bears#yellowstone
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Consciousness is alluring. The truth and the core self are like a lover undressed; you know only you will see them this way, and that when the world looks on they will see creases in fabric and face, a friend, an option. But you, when you trace your hands upon that true reflection, will know the rawness of skin and the taste of flesh that will linger through every moment you are away, and your internal eyes will forever be imprinted with their sweet perfume that only you know they wear in bed.
#necessary context that this is nondualist concept shiva and not person/deity/power of nature shiva#there are many shivas in my work. sorry for the confusion.#spiritual art#symbol: shiva#there are too many symbols in this to tag#symbol: plants#youre getting a catch all tag bc im not tagging every plant i ever use in art. its jasmine and angels trumpet here#green sections of the border are collectively. to summarise. raw organic fertility and the physical world and body#and then the red parts are sexuality and the mental world. both are about receptivity and activity and the union of both#gold ring is the ring around a black hole. the dancing lights of the external appearance (mental material and everything in between)#and the allure of impermanent reality emanating from the black unknown of Truth#anyway. thats the main stuff. other stuff like waters of the mind implying reflecting on a surface and uhhhh blue of the hair being#the waters flowing outwards are kinda... the last big things before the rest goes into subjective stuff#like the rain and water cycle references
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🤞
#exams did go fairly well#hopefully nothing worse than a B but i think an A is certainly possible in at least one of them#so hopefully 🥹🥹#i did study quite a bit not as much as i hoped for but a step up from my lack of effort the last few weeks#so hopefully i can get back to better routines now#i mean i do know probably many didn't study at all for these exams as they were not that serious#buuut if you want a good grade i feel like you have to at least i studied for like 2-3 days altough i would have liked to study for a week#also my schedule is just insane i think but then maybe it's just me idk#my time management is not the best but i still wonder how others would do with so many classes and extra activities#i have like 20 classes this semester + 2 exams i intend to take extra#i'm not attending all of them that wouldn't be possible and i'm not sure i can take all the exams but i'm happy if I manage like 17 or so#but like a normal amount is 10 classes a semester in my country but in reality most students don't take this many either#well i'm basically enrolled in two programms atm so there's that ig#but often i'm just wondering when i'm gonna study#i also play tennis a lot and competiting for my club (at a rec level)#and i'm training for this entrance exam for sports (i'm currently studying teaching with other subjects + English)#altough this is making me question if i'm fit for this everyday 🫠 i'm fairly good at 2 things ball sports and just like general athleticism#we also need to dance do gymnastics and swim i struggle with all of them#i'm not fast enough at swimming and my technique is bad i can't even do a cartwheel and a bad dancer 😭#the requirements are really high though i mean when i think of people i know from tennis or football no one would even get there closely#like i was the fastest at my former football club (and at every uni football course) and i might just barely cut it for sprinting#and i'm really quite athletic when playing tennis my opponents always notice and coordinated in sports as well#but somehow coordination for gymnastics is not the same?😅 how can i be so graceful playing tennis and most sports with balls but so clumsy#otherwise like doing a handstand... no balance 🥲#but anyways i also do like general fitness stuff going to the gym running a bit and trying to eat healthy#but my studying hours are very limited often tmrw i have uni from half 2 until 8pm in the evening and i have a preparation course for sports#before uni starts at half 10#i just really get the urge to drop everything sometimes 🥲 i also wanna see friends again more not just at uni and in the bus#i miss my semesters with 10 courses a week it was beautiful so much freedom and free time 🥹#uni was so enjoyable back then... don't get me wrong i enjoy most of my uni courses what i not enjoy is not having any time to myself
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sometimes i think its hard for the fandom to have genuine deep conversations about veronika's character because of how much she's flanderized and reduced... but also i think its because of how people interpret her relationship with (horror) fiction being so drastically different from each other.
youll get "she'll be a murderer because she likes horror" (← she could be a murder but how fiction impacted her is way more complicated than that) and then "her character is a clear example of how fiction doesnt affect reality" (← really?) but also "she doesnt think fiction affects reality." (← that is a way more complicated statement than you think knowing we don't even know how she personally defines fiction, but also shes obviously aware of how much myths and lies has an affect on the cast and especially arturo but those things may not be defined as fiction in her eyes). But also due to jarring opinions even among people who tolerate or like her or understand her, unfortunately conversations might get devolved into debates about the relationship between humanity and fiction, but also about fiction itself.
i see the last two statements more often than the first when people comment about her ... i feel like people project how they personally define fiction and think of fiction's impact so much onto her that her character gets lost on them and dont think how much their statements about her lessen the depth of her character. thing is that whatever they will feel about the relation with humanity and fiction theyll need to get over it because its one of the main things that make veronika and arturo clear reflections of each other and contributes plus adds onto her depth
im saying this as someone who do think fiction itself and its impact on the person & society doesnt exist in an vacuum. But I am especially saying this as someone who finds her obnoxious, annoying and very cringe but tries to find her depth despite of my feelings about her.
#i wonder if mention the obvious fact that fiction not existing in a vaccum also helps her parallel arturo will get me hated on#because theyll assume i think fiction affects people on a 1:1 level and that im a puriteen fascist or something#im very sure they are supposed to be relfections of eachother on purpose and their relationship with what they fixate on#AND the subject of their fixation on in the first place is supposed to strength the parallels#ill see an account so much into shipping discourse that theyll just make up a bunch of assumptions of how she personally defines fiction#and how it affects you and its just hilariously out of touch.. like#is that all you got out of her character? that “fiction doesnt affect reality”? is her existence just a mere reinforcement of that to you?#And ill see so many people agree with it and im like Lol. anyway im not even going to tag this with like any of the fandom tags#i was randomly thinking about her and arturo hard last night and i cant get my thoughts and possibilities of their characters out of my hea#despite me hating them so much. Yeah. I can admit they have some depth and *can* be interesting.
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Am i gonna use the heisenberg uncertainty principle in my anthropology essay in which i need to refer back to my own discipline which happens to be the exact opposite of quantum physics? You bet i am
#am i crazy or is everyone else huh. that is the question#yes im slowly losing my mind why do you ask?#the thing is. i need someone to bounce idea off but the only thing i currently have is a wall and it doesnt bounce anything#this is what happens if i cant rant about stuff lol#the essay is about migration btw#but im also gonna write a whole ass paragraph about the subjectivity of language so. i dont even know anymore#y'all i just cant get this sentence my professor said in class two weeks ago: “destroying reality in purpose of clarify” fuck yeah man#wish my essay was about that#you know what im gonna make it about that who will stop me#education is not real anyway#criminology is a joke#<- my tag for all my school related rants lmao#ramble gamble
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Sometimes I look outside my scope of mutuals and I'm like.....I'm glad I'm not them (whole essay in the tags)
#im going to ramble about a very touchy subject here but it pertains to 🐉♠️ which i am very open about shipping#apparently its Problematic or whatever 😭😭???? according to Some People#you know ive been thinking abt this for a while now but people really like spouting rhetoric abt how this or that is problematic without-#-really considering the specifics of why things are bad. things being bad are not the same as things possibly being uncomfortable#like people have an aversion to adult/minor ships or incest ships because these are real and tangible things that happen and are disgusting#i do feel like people have freedom over what they want to consume/create in fiction although those topics are an ick to me and i avoid it#but also you have to understand people dont like it primarily because of the realistic aspect of it and how it connects to reality#not a one to one but because reality already has these preexisting issues we naturally have an aversion to it#you cannot apply the same logic to like a dragon man x human ship because a dragon man is not going to scoop you from the sky#the ramifications of shipping an immortal and human are nonexistant and do not pertain to reality and cannot be judged on the same scale💀#well beside from the logic 🐉 is old in body but his mind develops in the way a fae would. and he is described to be young in fae#so up until now i assumed the normal assumption was to say that he is around ~18 in fae yrs by how he interacts with others in his yr#🐉 is like old in the way where hes lived for a long time and understands the passage of time#but hes processed it through the lens of a young person hence why he can come off as immature despite how old he physically is💀#like are we playing the same game?? if he was a well adjusted fully developed adult with a complete understanding of the world and stuff#like idk trein. none of the events in ch 7 would be happening. its kind of like a huge part of his character that despite his physical age#he IS still learning as he IS still young#i could go into a analysis of his character but thats for another time </33#anyways i see people . primarily young people. telling their mutuals you can or cant ship this and that#and im like its okay to not like ships if you personally find it uncomfortable but to police ur friends...for ships that arent even 'bad'#its insane to me...how do u live like this?#people really need to start thinking about the nuances and why things are the way they are in regards to fiction#instead of buying into that weird pr*ship/ant*ship thing 😭 ive always hated it its so dumb. my university professors wouldve hated it#theres no nuance like...none. personally i also think its why people have low reading comprehension these days too tbh#life is about looking at various viewpoints and coming up with your own opinion#not 'picking a side'💀 learn to form your own opinions. talk to people around you about it. do not constrict your opinions to black/white#its an extremely dangerous mindset to have even outside of literature and it makes you very susceptible to dangerous ideas/propaganda#anyways what im getting at is learn to have educated discussions with others and come up with your own opinions instead of picking a side#btw there is no right/wrong side in literary discussions. there is no good/bad side either. whatever you come up w someone will disagree#thats why its important to just believe what YOU believe in (and not parrot others💀). and also be open to change
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listen i am all for making fun of cisnormative shit like yaoi mpreg and omegaverse (and i frequently do) but can we stop being weird about the pregnant man emoji. it's just supposed to be a trans man not a fetish thing
#like i think there's a huge difference between ''the kind of mpreg you see in yaoi manga''#and ''man who happens to be pregnant/capable of being pregnant''#one of these things is a kink. the other is a reality for many trans people#🐦#anyways that's all i'm gonna say on the subject!#discourse //
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hey real quick bc i haven't seen anyone really talk about it; fuck Hoarders. what a disgusting fucking show. like i know a lotta content boils down to "let's gawk at mentally ill or poor or whatever ppl" but this one specifically really peels my paint. it's sickening. let's spend an hour walking around someone's house and going "wow!! look how fucked this is!!! i can't believe you live like this (despite having done like 13 seasons of this)!!!! you really need to get your act together, buster!" and then interviewing the family to get sound bites demonstrating how much of an Unreasonable Burden the subject is and (without actually helping any of the mental health issues that may lead someone to hoard) roll their eyes at them when they are upset at someone taking and trashing/destroying their precious belongings (or are made to do it themselves). and then half the time in the where are they now segment it's like "yeah they relapsed lol idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" like??? no shit dumbass.
i don't care how strange their homes or habits are. these people are deserving of compassion and real, honest help. they don't need people to marvel at how Kooky Wacky Bonkers™ they are, and they don't need people to hurt them just because they don't understand what they see in their possessions or are embarrassed by knowing them or whatever.
we don't need another voyeuristic savior-complex charade where the condition for The Most Half-Assed Help You've Ever Seen is being publicly humiliated and having to destroy things that mean a lot to you. what the fuck.
#a lotta these situations involve actual danger for the subject or their dependents so like getting rid of stuff is sometimes necessary#but just taking the rug out from under them without additional support isnt gonna help anyone longterm#and mocking them on national television certainly isnt either#like if someone's keeping dead cats in their freezer i feel like there are more constructive ways of dealing with that than 'lol' or#'youre a disgusting freak and we're gonna display that to everyone and also not help you fuck you etc'#like. god.#im not arguing the subjects are all saints or whatever either btw but they deserve to be treated like human beings#like?? forcing someone to destroy or throw out most of their posessions and mocking them for being emotional about it is cruel#it's no less cruel just because you dont get why theyre attached to those things#maybe it's even ESPECIALLY cruel because of the nature of hoarding#it's so dehumanizing#and idc if some of the subjects have been helped by being on hoarders. ppl could just help w/o mocking them and they could do a better job#if the show helps ppl it's on accident. the purpose is to watch and revel in it. in how stubborn and deluded people can be. in how much#better we are than them. in how just the hosts' disregard for their feelings is. etc. fucking repulsive#it's a dr phil situation imo#anyway my parents used to watch it a few years back and it's always bothered me that their chill sunday entertainment was. this shit.#and the subjects' faces when they see the cleared out house is almost always so.. strained.#i think it's a part of a broader problem with this kinda content and its fetishization of the reality check#to them the feelings of the deluded person don't matter because they annoy or inconvenience their peers#hence the 'i can't believe you care about this garbage' mentality of the show. even if that care comes from illness those feelings are real#so to force them through step 8 of a recovery process before steps 1-7 and then insult them for not recovering is just. god.#i hate it i hate it so much
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sorry but oh my god i am CACKLING tumblr r uu serious rn
#➳ the fool speaks#what did i nawt block hys side blog or something#why is that there /silly#also YES i've vented a whole bunch abt hymn but this is a pure lighthearted ''we have mutually blocked eachother what'' mildly confuse post#. . . i am going to go block the side blog i realized Oh Yeah I Probably Just Didn't#so i'll try that . but still tumblr hello ?? what even makes it choose what blogs to put on there#anyways i need to immediately spam everybun's dashes with gacha life 2 soraqua to make up for the excessive breakupventing and nyeow this#''ya'll literally blocked eachother ffs can uu shut up about uur fucking ex''#(which i am trying to ! prommy ! this just made me start cackling when i saw it and earned me a concerned look from aquadad)#i was just abt to say wait is there even a point to blocking the sideblog (aside from maybe making tumblr get the memo here) but i realized#since uu can't block from sideblogs it's possible that the two sideblogs could still interact unless hy also blocked this one too but bette#safe than sorry . anyways yeah ok funny wait what moment over . i am going to show uu me ++ my bff-ex-qpp's headmate kissing in g.l2 /JOKE#in reality i will finish making tisse so i can show ya'll willow and tisse bc they both r pretty . AND so far 3/5 of the cdstw group have#praised my abilities to make them in gl.2 so >:) . if they said it's good then ya'll bet ur asses i will subject ya'll 2 it too#i should also make star in it#right after i finish making tisse bc i think tox may also be waiting on me#which if so i feel bad rn i am wasting my time joking abt my ex . on that note i am going to Shut The Fuck Up nyeow :thumbsup: /lh
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Imagine thinking that the recent "failure" (by Disney standards) of Phase 4 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe is because of the addition of "diversity wokeism" (their words, not mine) and a lack of focus from the architects of the MCU (mostly Kevin Feige) on the overarching storyline that binds all movies & shows and not due to the fundamentally unsustainable structure currently in place that attempts to make several gigantic billion dollar movies every year for the last 12 years whilst obviously relying on the exploitation of workers, particularly vfx artists, so much that it's driving people out of the industry, and milking as much money as possible through it all...
Like, sorry to say but: they aren't making movies...they're just rolling another product off the assembly line at this point.
#the world has gone through a severe life altering event#(c0vid)#and despite how we try to get back to normal it's not the same#i think a lot of people have so much nostalgia for phases 1 2 and 3 with the ending in endgame not just because of the obvious fact that#a lot of people grew up with these movies#but also because the world was a different place#and to quote a marvel movie: none of us can go back#also we are in a place in capitalist societies on which labor is getting increasingly more precarious#and this affects the film industry as any other one#even more when you consider that these movies have become more and more reliant on vfx work#whils vfx workers are more overworked less paid and rarely have unions#marvel has openly exploited these artists for YEARS#and its not only driven a lot of people out of the industry but created burn out for those that stayed#anyways im getting a lot of video essays recommended to be on yt on this subject#but i have yet to see something tackling the issue in a deeper level#the mcu is NOT despite neoliberal thinking isolated from the material reality of the people that create it#it's a fake world but the people who work on it are real#txt#anti disney#lol fuck you capitalist mouse#anti marvel
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