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utopianvoices · 6 years ago

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bittersweet | k.seungmin

↭ genre: barista au; fluff

↭ word count: 4.24k

↭ description: Your blind date went to the depths of shit, but was that an entirely bad thing?

↭ a/n: finally a seungmin fic aksdj i always feel some kind of guilt when i don’t see fics under certain members :( it’s also not proofread oops hehe hope y’all like it!! x

↭ warnings: explicit language

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“Come on, Y/n. Just one date?” your best friend pestered you. “You haven’t been out in that field for months and don’t you think it’s time to move on from Mr. Dickhead?”

“This is the fifth time you’re asking me this week, and my answer is still no, Minho,” you said calmly, letting out a sigh once again, shaking your head. “You’re making me sigh so much, I’m going to grow older faster.”

Truth be told, you were heartbroken.

It was your first-ever relationship, lasting for about a year and a half when suddenly, said boyfriend wasn’t giving you as much attention and love as before. No calls, no texts, fewer meetups, and more avoidance.

It had started about a year into your relationship — which you thought to be the happiest time of your relationship, seeing that you had reached the first milestone. But fate had different plans.

Initially, you just made excuses for him, blaming it on practices (he was on the school’s basketball team), convincing yourself that he couldn’t hang out with you because he was too tired after practice. But once off-seasons hit, you were left with no other reason to hold on to your relationship. The truth was glaring in your face, and yet you still decided to put on your pair of ignorant sunglasses and carry on as if nothing was wrong.

The first hit was when you saw him out at a restaurant with his teammates, after telling you that he was not able to hang out with you because he was down with a really bad flu and had to stay in bed.

It was like the whole universe was trying to convince you to let him go, that he was definitely not worth your time and energy.

You still didn’t let go.

Years of watching clichéd and unrealistic rom-coms had started to take its toll on the rational part of your brain, the part that was screaming the very obvious and correct answer at you, every time you saw him. You wished you had listened to that part of you, because a few days later, you saw him show up to school with another girl, arms around her waist, looking the happiest he has ever looked.

Your eyes met from across the hallway, one pair reflecting hurt and the other nonchalance. He felt zero remorse for what he had done, and that was what hurt the most.

"Am I bad in relationships?” you asked out of the blue, surprising the boy beside you. “Am I going to be single for the rest of my life?”

“No, Y/n. You’re not bad. You just happened to fall for the wrong person. But trust me, when you find the right one, you’ll have a blast because that’s what you deserve,” Minho said firmly, sending you a slight smile at the end of his little speech.

“You know, you’re not that bad when you’re not acting like a sassy little bitch,” you say, blocking the pillow that came flying towards not a second later, soft chuckles escaping your mouth. “But really, thanks Minho. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Die alone.”

“And, he’s back,” you say, rolling your eyes at your intolerable best friend. “So... Um, what were you saying about that date?”

And as those words leave your mouth, you get the shock of your life, because you have never seen your best friend get that excited.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

Pushing the door to the little coffee shop near your campus, the little bell tinkles above your head, causing a series of “Welcome” to echo through your ears as the workers behind the cafe put on the brightest and fakest smile to make sure you believe that they’re having the time of their lives working long hours after school, and occasionally dealing with snobs just to make sure they’re able to afford basic necessities such as air, water, food, and shelter.

Walking up to the counter, you are served by a face you had never seen before, considering the fact that you were a regular and loyal customer. If your mind wasn’t occupied with pre-date jitters, you totally would’ve chosen the table at the far right — perfect view, and all — to admire the faces stressing out behind the counter.

“Hi! What can I get you today?” the boy speaks up, flashing you a smile that almost made you think he enjoyed serving you.

“I’ll get a vanilla latte, please,” you say, fishing around your bag for your wallet, as the boy in front of you entered your order into the machine. After considering it for a while, you decided to get something for your date as well. “Actually make that two vanilla lattes. And a chocolate chip muffin too.”

The boy nods, adding your extra orders in. “Can I get your name?” he asks, grabbing a marker, tip hovering over the plastic cup, as waited for an answer.

“Y/n.”

“Nice name,” he said with a smile, not looking up at you as he wrote it down. “Here for a first date?”

Taken aback by his straightforward behaviour, you look up, surprised that he had noticed. “Yea, how’d you notice?”

He moves over a few steps towards the coffee machine, as he starts prepping your drink, causing your feet to involuntarily shuffle towards the direction in which he was moving.

“Your body language kind of gave it away,” he started, speaking over the loud coffee machine. “Psych major, and all that. Why so nervous?”

Ah.

“It’s because I don’t even know the guy,” you said, and immediately realising how that sounded, frantically added more to your sentence. “I mean, it’s a blind date, of sorts. My best friend wouldn’t stop bugging me to go on a date because apparently, I need to move on from horribles ex’s.”

The boy in front of you nodded understandingly, finishing up your order during your little rant. You were not sure why you opened up to him —a complete stranger. But somehow it didn’t feel forced. On the contrary, it felt almost natural.

“Well, here’s your order Ms. Y/n, and I hope you have a great date!” he said, passing you the tray with your drinks and confectionary on it, nodding with a smile as he noticed you had tipped him quite generously. What? Anyone who listened to one of your rants deserved some kind of compensation.

Mhm, sure. Definitely not because he was cute or anything.

You rolled your eyes to yourself, ignoring the little voice that was whispering absurd but otherwise true things in your mind.

You walk over to the back of the cafe and whip out your phone, tapping on your frequently contacted list and drafting a message to the number at the top of that list.

you: whr is he cat boy: patience, little one. he said he’s reaching cat boy: you’re sitting at the back right? you: yea cat boy: he said he’s there. look for someone wearing red plaid. g’luck be urself cat boy: but not too much bcs u’ll scare him away you: gtfo cat boy: if he says anything stupid or is mean just sent me a text. he might be sung’s friend, but anyone who messes with my best friend answers to my hammer-like fists you: mjölnir is shaking in thor’s hands

Putting your phone away, you look up, and true enough, you see a rather dashing boy in red plaid, standing at the entrance and looking towards the back of the cafe in confusion. Unsure of what to do, you awkwardly raise your hand, in hopes that he would understand your pathetic attempts in trying to get him to notice you without attracting too much attention.

Soon enough the both of you made eye contact, a smile blooming on his face as he walked over towards you.

“Hi, I’m Hyungsik! Jisung’s friend,” he said, extending a hand out. “You must be Y/n.”

You reach over and shake his hand, returning his smile with your own, letting out a “yes” to his question.

“I got a drink for you!” you said, pushing one of the lattes towards him. “I didn’t know what you’d like so I just went with a safe option,”

“Oh no, I don’t drink coffee from here,” he said, pushing the cup back towards you. “The ingredients are cheap and low quality, my body just won’t be able to accept it.”

Thinking back to the days where you lived off of instant noodles because you just were too lazy to cook for yourself, or when you finished a whole tub of ice cream while watching a movie, you felt your face slowly heat up as you let out an awkward chuckle, hoping that he’d drop that topic.

“Actually I wouldn’t really have chosen this place — not really my scene. I usually go over to the cafe on Main Street,” he continued, adding more and more details about the exquisite dishes they serve there and the ingredients they use.

Just as you were starting to zone out (something that you should never be doing on a date), another question was thrown in your way.

“So, Y/n, what is your family like?”

“Uh, so I have my parents and no siblings. They live in-” you started, but got cut off almost right after.

“Mhm interesting. Do they own any companies or any own businesses?”

Now you were confused.

“No they don’t?” you answered, your answer sounding more like a question.

You noticed the slight fall of expression from his face, as he heard that you were not some rich spoiled brat who got plenty of money from her parents.

“I see. Because you know, my ex-girlfriend’s parents had this huge company? Really rich people, just like my parents,” he continued, once again falling into a whole ramble about how great his ex-girlfriend was or something like that; you weren’t listening.

Instead, you were hurriedly typing on your phone, as you just continued to smile and nod at something the boy in front of you was saying.

you: sos you: can you call me and start crying or smth you: i’m going to kill myself if i hear him talk about how his dog shits gold or wtv you: minhO CHECK UR PHONE ITS A LEVEL 9 EMERGENCY you: ugh you suck

Realising that your best friend wasn’t going to come to your rescue, you resorted to cutting the boy off with the lamest excuse you can think of.

“Hey, can you give me a moment? My hands are kind of dirty after eating the muffin,” you say, slowly getting up even before you could receive an answer.

“Um sure,” the boy in front of you said, looking slightly perturbed at the fact that someone could even afford to get their hands dirty. Not in his rich household.

Shooting him a final smile, you walk over to the small sink at the side of the cafe, gripping the sides of the sink as you regulate your breathing, unsure of how to get away from that not-so-amazing date you were having.

“Need help?”

Your head whipped up at the familiar voice, as the barista who made you your order stood beside you, tray in hand, as he looked upon you with concern. Who would blame him though — you looked like you were about to enter panic mode any moment.

“I-I, uh-” you stuttered, internally smacking yourself for not being able to form coherent sentences making you look more of an idiot than you already seemed like. But thankfully, someone was able to put two and two together.

“Bad date, huh?” he said, setting the tray down on the counter beside him and shooting you a sad smile.

You let out a breath of relief, somewhat happy that you didn’t have to explain yourself. “Yeah. I’m trying to think of ways to escape.”

“I’ve got an idea. Wanna hear it?”

“Colour me interested.”

Smiling at your response, the boy laid out his plans in front of you, making you both feel like you were in another episode of True Detective or something.

“When you go back there, just make small conversation for five minutes. My shift’s over, so I’ll come there and pretend to be your best friend, saying there’s some emergency. Once we convince him that someone’s dying, we’ll go out the back door and escape from there. Cool?”

“Totally cool.”

With an encouraging nod from the boy in front of you, you take a deep breath and walk towards the dreaded table at the back, as you see your date scrolling through his phone, impatient sighs escaping him every 10 seconds.

“I’m back!” you say, faking some enthusiasm as you finally take a seat. “Sorry, there was a problem with the... tap.”

Hearing your voice, Hyungsik set his phone down onto the table, smiling at your return. “Ah, you see, that’s the problem with these low-quality cafes. Nothing ever works right.”

And just like that, you both were back to your conversation about how he thought Gucci was better than Louis Vuitton. Not that you could relate, your go-to was definitely plain ol’ H&M.

As promised, four minutes later, you were met with a frantic looking boy, dressed in a dark blue denim jacket and a pair of black jeans.

“Hey Y/n! I’ve been trying to call your phone for the past half an hour! You’ve got to come with me now,” he said, hands flailing around frantically as you were trying to best to hold back the laugh that was threatening to spill out any moment.

“Hey....” you started, coming to a sudden halt as you realised something. You didn’t know this boy’s name. But you were not going to let that small setback hinder your whole plan.

“Hey... Bob! Long time no see,” you say, mentally facepalming yourself for thinking of the lamest name ever. “What’s up? Sorry, I’m just on a really amazing date right now that I couldn’t check my phone.”

Okay, maybe you were exaggerating a bit, but who cares? You had to milk out the best outcome possible from this little skit.

“Oh hi. I’m Bob, Y/n’s best friend. Sorry to cut your amazing date short, but I really gotta bring Y/n with me now. Her dog was just admitted to the hospital,” he said, not even sparing Hyungsik, who was now looking extremely confused, a glance.

“What? I better leave now. Sorry for cutting the date short, Hyungsik!” you said, quickly grabbing your things and leaving before your date figured out what was happening with your terrible acting.

“Yea... See you-” Hyungsik started, but was left alone before he could finish his sentence.

You sprint out the back door, as planned, with “Bob” leading the way, falling into a heap of laughter as you were sure the door was closed behind you.

“What kind of a name is Bob?! Seriously, Y/n?” the boy asked, trying to catch his own breath after the laughing fit.

“I’m sorry, I don’t do well under pressure!” you defended yourself, wiping the stray tears that escaped the corners of your eyes. “Hey, but thank you so much for helping me out. I probably would’ve gone mad.”

“Anytime!” he said, finally settling down only to warm your heart with a small smile on his face. “It’s Seungmin, by the way.”

“Definitely better than Bob.”

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

As you open the door to your shared apartment, you are almost immediately engulfed in a hug, as this person hugging you chants “I’m sorry” over and over again like some cult leader.

“Okay, Minho, I got it. You can let go now.”

“I can’t believe I forgot to charge my phone like who does that?” your best friend screeched, tugging at his hair as he looked at you as if he had committed a murder. “I’m a horrible best friend.”

You roll your eyes at his dramatic antics and grab him by the collar, dragging him towards the couch and throwing him on it. “Nobody died. I’m alive and fine. Phones die all the fucking time. Get your shit together, Lee Minho.”

“B-but...” your friend stuttered, pout already forming on his lips.

If there was one thing about Minho that everyone knew about, it was his tendency to blame everything on himself. Even if it wasn’t his fault and he had no control over it whatsoever.

“Enough about that. Are you gonna hear my interesting story or not?” you said, a playful smirk playing at your lips as your best friend perks up at the fact that you were about to share your day with him.

Nodding his head to signify that he was ready and listening, you narrated that day’s happenings.

“So, basically he was cute and all, but all he could talk about was how high class he was? And how he didn’t like to enter, and I quote, low-class cafes,” you say, earning an offended gasp from Minho. “And on top of that, he looked disappointed when he found out that I didn’t own some hugeass business or whatever.”

“Dick.”

“Mhm, right. That’s when I messaged you and tried my best to get out of the situation, but you couldn’t reply,” you continue, hastily adding on a “but that wasn’t your fault because phone batteries suck,” when you see Minho’s face drop into a slight pout.

“I had to get out of that place so I just went over to the sink and tried to think of ways to escape when the barista that took my order offered to help,” you say, thinking back to Seungmin’s cute smile. “So he just came over and pretended to be my best friend and said there was an emergency and kind of just dragged me away through the back door.”

You were unaware of the fact that your face softened at the mention of your saviour, but it didn’t go unnoticed by the boy in front of you, who was studying your every facial expression since you started your little story.

“Barista, huh?” Minho started, smirk evident on his face. “Was he cute?”

You slowly felt the heat creep up your cheeks as you fiddled with your fingers, a sign that you were flustered.

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, yes it does, Y/n. It matters a whole lot,” Minho teased, glad that he had grabbed the perfect opportunity to annoy you. “It matters because the blush on your face is giving me many, many indications on how you feel about this barista of yours.”

“Shut your mouth, dipshit. There’s nothing like that,” you counter, desperately praying for the heat to leave your face.

“Whatever you say, m’love.”

You roll your eyes for the umpteenth time, leaving to prepare for bed, as that day’s events replayed in your mind. You weren’t sure how to feel about the barista occupying your mind, but all you knew was that you had to see him again.

After all, you didn’t manage to get his number.

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

The familiar ring of the small bell fills your ear as you step foot into the same cafe you were in four days ago. You had actually planned to go the day after, but you were, sadly, a college student who apparently had to go to classes to make sure your grades don’t fall below expectations.

“Welcome to SKZ ca-” Seungmin started, instinctively, until he saw the person who had entered the cafe. “Y/n! You’re back!”

“I am!” you say, with equal enthusiasm, as you walk up towards the counter and get your wallet ready.

“Another blind date?” Seungmin teased, wiping his hands on a paper towel as he walked up towards the main counter.

“Shut up,” you deadpanned, shaking your head at the boy’s little jab. “I came here for some caffeine because I am currently behind on my assignments and I don’t really feel like repeating this semester. Any drinks to recommend?”

“Relatable,” Seungmin grimaced, thinking about the pile of assignments in his bag that was locked up in the staff locker. “How about an iced americano? The ice will definitely make sure that you’re wide awake, maybe more so than the coffee itself.”

“Sure, anything to keep me from snoring away on that table,” you replied, letting a tired sigh escape your lips. “I wish Minho was here to study with me, ugh. I hate studying alone.”

Although that last sentence was muttered under your breath, Seungmin’s ear still caught it, his mind immediately whirring with solutions.

“I finish my shift in about an hour,” he started cautiously, not knowing what your answer would be. “Maybe, we could study together?”

You freeze on the spot and slowly look up at the boy in front of you, unsure if you had heard him correctly, but the look on his face told you that you had heard him perfectly well.

You let out a breathy laugh and nod your head. “Sure, I’d love that.”

“Great! Drink’s on me then!” Seungmin grinned, fishing out his own card to pay for your drink and the muffin (he took the liberty to add it in for you), and left to make the drink before you could even start to protest.

You shake your head and walk towards the table against the window, big enough for two people, and set your heavy bag down as you plopped onto one of the seats.

Not wasting any time, you grab your laptop and your notes, diving right into your assignments, afraid that you’d change your mind and go back home if you procrastinated one second longer.

One hour later, you’re halfway through your drink and there are crumbs left on the pastry plate, as you hurriedly type away on your laptop, initially not noticing Seungmin walking towards your table, out of his work attire and school bag slung over his shoulders.

“Move slightly forward and you’ll fall into your computer screen,” a familiar voice rang out, causing you to snap out of your bubble and focus on the boy taking his seat in front of you. “I’m surprised you don’t wear glasses.”

“I do wear glasses, just not often,” you replied, going back to your essay on how Shakespeare had made a change in the world’s arts. Seriously, who cared. All you got out from your literature lectures were that you could annoy Minho by talking in Shakespearean English for a whole day. He definitely did not appreciate that.

Realising that you were in your zone and that he shouldn’t disturb you, Seungmin grabbed his own pile of worries and got to work, the fatigue of working a four-hour shift after school slowly catching up to him.

Three hours later, and you finally stop tapping away incessantly on your computer, leaning back in your chair and stretching your arms above your head.

“Hey Seungmin, I’m do-” you started, but abruptly cut yourself off as you see Seungmin’s head resting on his hand, eyes closed as he let out even breaths, indicating that he was fast asleep.

Seeing that he was exploring dreamland, you took this opportunity to admire the boy’s features, in a non-creepy way, of course. The way his left cheek was slightly chubbier than his right, and the little mole on his cheek, or even how brown his eyes we- Wait.

You shouldn’t be able to see the colour of his eyes if he was sleeping.

Just like that, you stare into the eyes of the cute barista in front of you, unable to tear your gaze away, even as colour rushes to your cheek as you realise that you have been caught admiring him.

“Take a picture, Y/n, it’ll last longer,” he said, not passing up on the opportunity to tease you even though it had been less than a minute since he was awake.

“I-I wasn’t staring,” you started, immediately falling into defensive mode, as embarrassment took over every cell in your body. “I was about to wake you up, okay.”

“Sure,” he humoured you, but not stopping the smile that was spreading across his face.

“Oh, look at the time! It’s time for me to go back!” you said, frantically packing up your things as you wished to get away from the cafe as far as possible until you were sure that your heart wasn’t going to burst.

But just as you were reaching for the last piece of paper on your desk, a hand stopped you, forcing you to look up at the boy who’s eyes you had been avoiding for the past few minutes.

“Um, do you think we can do this tomorrow?” he started, eyes darting around everywhere except your eyes. “But without the studying?”

You could feel your heart abruptly stop, as your mind slowly processed the question that had just left Seungmin’s mouth. Was he implying what you thought was implying? The only way to find out was to ask.

“Like a date?” you asked, voice small due to the lack of courage.

“Like a date,” the boy confirms, eyes finally meeting yours, as he awaits your answer.

It hadn’t been long since you met him, but you couldn’t deny the fact that something was blossoming between you, whether it be a strong friendship or something more. And you were willing to find out.

“Let’s do it.”

∞ end ∞

#skz-writersnet #skzwriters #district9net #stray kids #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #kim seungmin imagines #kim seungmin scenarios #kim seungmin #dee scribbles

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andipxndy-writes · 5 years ago

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Cheater - Allie & Jake

[[And now what you’ve all been waiting for... lol no one’s been waiting for this, I’ve just been hyped to write about it.

Anyway, ever since @a-simple-rper responded to one of my asks by touching on this topic, it’s been on my mind to actually write some stuff about it. Because it’s actually an important part of my canon timeline and I really want to get it out there. Do my muses like it? No. Am I writing this stuff and putting them through it anyway? Yes. I definitely cried whilst writing this.

Some people already kind of know about this, but here’s a proper thing! Hope y’all enjoy!]]

Cheater

Allie slammed down the research paper in her hands on the table between them. Whether it was for dramatic effect or not, even she wasn’t sure. But it sure got his attention.

Jake looked towards her with a start, eyes wide, before he forced an easy smile onto his face. “I don’t get what was so urgent that you needed to send the kids out so that we could talk,” Jake said with an attempt at a laugh. When he got no response, his smile faded. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Jake, are you a faithful man?” she asked, her voice uncharacteristically cold.

Jake scoffed and answered without hesitation. “Come on, Allie, you know the answer to that,” he responded simply. When the expression on her face didn’t change, he felt a wave of panic. “Allie?”

“Answer my question, Jacob.”

This time, he hesitated for a few moments before giving his answer, seemingly stunned, before starting with, “Of course I a—”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me.”

His blood ran cold. She knew. She knew.

“Nineteen years. Nineteen years we’ve been married. It was going to be twenty in a few months. A milestone, Jake. It was going to be big. You stayed with one woman for twenty years.” She pursed her lips. “Or so I thought.”

“Allison, I—”

“You think I don’t remember that business trips you took to check on Rosie whilst I was pregnant with Daniel? You think I don’t recall calling you to check up on you multiple times, at a time when you should’ve been able to pick up? Except, you didn’t pick up, because you were busy and I stupidly thought you were stuck doing paperwork with her in the office.”

“Allison, please—”

“You went on so many ‘business trips’ that year. And now I find out that you were with her—”

“For God’s sake, Allison, would you actually shut up and listen to me, for once?!”

Anger flared in Allie’s eyes, but she clamped her mouth shut, giving him the opportunity to do something she definitely didn’t think he deserved to do.

Explain himself.

“It was an accident, okay? Probably the worst accident of my life. I didn’t mean to get Mandy pregnant at all – it has never been my intention to have a kid I don’t know about and leave them to be raised with a single parent! It’s the worst feeling ever for both the child and the—”

“That’s not what I’m most pissed about.” She cut him off in the middle of his passionate ramble, stopping him before he could go too far. Though she certainly made it clear that she was pissed about that.

He stopped short, blinking in confusion. “It... it’s not?”

“No.”

“Then what are you—”

“Jacob, how are babies made?”

It took him a second too long to realise what she meant, and that single second caused her face to redden with anger, her eyes narrowing.

“Oh, so you didn’t even think that maybe, just maybe, you actually screwing my best friend was the problem?! Whilst I was pregnant?! And not even just once?!”

“Well her being my ex didn’t seem to bother you when we first got married!” he fought back.

“Well you hadn’t screwed her whilst we were in a relationship back then!” When he stayed silent, she practically exploded. “You’ve been cheating on me since before we got married?! You couldn’t even keep it in your fucking pants?!”

He grit his teeth frustratedly. “You were the one who was so determined to save ‘us’ until marriage! And I swear, I fucking swear, I never touched another woman like that from the moment we started dating!”

“Clearly that’s a lie, because Amanda has your daughter!”

“It’s not a lie!” He paused and then backpedalled. “Okay, fine, maybe it’s not the complete truth, but Mandy was the only one! I swear! And only after we got married!”

She stared at him for a few moments before scoffing. “I can’t even trust the words coming from your mouth anymore. You’re a lying cheat, and have been for the past however many years. And with an ex, no less. You haven’t changed since you were fourteen.”

“Fucking hell, why is it that you always have to bring up my past with me?” Jake demanded. “No one ever picks on Sam’s past!”

“Because Sam didn’t cheat on their wife, dumbass.”

“But they’re not a saint, for God’s sake!” He sighed frustratedly, running his hands through his hair to try and calm down. He had to think before continuing, otherwise this whole yelling match would go on for hours – and he knew for a fact that Allie could go on like this all day if she wanted to. “Look, Allie, let’s talk about this calmly, okay? I made a mistake. A fucking huge one, but still a mistake. And I’m willing to fix it, but God, Allie, you have to work with me, here! I can fix this, okay? I can make this whole thing better than it seems. I’m a problem-fixer, remember? I messed up big time, but I can fix it!” He took a few steps around the table that separated them, his heart shattering when she stepped away from him. “Allie, baby, come on. Please. It’s just one mistake. But I can fix it, I swear.”

The look of anger that had been clear on her features before was wiped away, only a cold stare remaining. “Didn’t you hear me earlier? You cheated on me with your ex-girlfriend, who also happens to be my best friend. You did it whilst I was pregnant with our second child and I was home alone taking care of our first. You lied to me about it for almost the entirety of our marriage. You have a goddamn child with her! And you’re saying you can fix it, like you broke a little pipe or a glass?” It was obvious that Allie completely disapproved of him acting as if he could ‘fix’ the appearance of a child. But she didn’t even address that. “Jacob, I can’t even trust you anymore. You went and did something behind my back when I was at my most vulnerable, and then acted for years as if it didn’t even happen and never even thought it would be a good idea to be honest with your wife and tell her you did something so incredibly stupid. You’ve broken my trust in ways you can’t even imagine. And I cannot be married to someone I don’t trust.”

“Then we’ll build up the trust again, just like we built our relationship at the start! We can start from scratch, from friends to being married, just like we did before! We can even go from the very start, from before we were friends and when we were just rivals! Come on, Allie,” he suggested, beginning to sound desperate. But he knew that look in her eyes. That look of resolution, of determination.

That look he’d once loved seeing on her with all his heart was coming for him, and he had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

Allie turned, reaching for something she’d left on the desk behind her, before turning back to him and handing him what looked like a Manila folder. He stared at it, before his heart plummeted as he realised exactly what it was.

“I want a divorce.”

#muse development: allie leister #muse development: jake trent #writing: mine #writing: rp writings #universe development: the simple life #universe development: canon

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footbaliimagines · 6 years ago

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New Years Kiss (a Jesse Lingard imagine)

Hello!!!!!! It is me, returned from the dead (I can’t find the gif but insert the bitch thought u saw the last of me gif from American horror story gif here)

Idk what this is really these bits and bobs are NOT chronological they are just like fragments if that makes sense?? So even though the 3 words bit is when they were together its like a ***flashback*** but I wasnt sure how to make that v clear also the chapters are like numbers counting down from ten like at midnight ygm??? Okay I am rambling so will shut up hope u guys like it and hope you have a wonderful nye <3 I hope and am sure 2019 will be wonderful for all of you <3

TEN minutes after you meet him, you realise that you’re kind of fucked.

(And by kind of, you mean completely, overwhelmingly, catastrophically fucked.)

It happens quickly, in a way that you’ve never experienced before.

So quickly, as a matter of fact, that when he locks eyes with you for the first time, and when he grazes your arm when brushing past you to grab his drink, it’s like a switch has been flicked inside of you that you were never sure even really existed.

You put it down to the bubbles from your prosecco that you’d downed just before chatting to him, and that the tipsiness and the buzz of alcohol is the only reason you could be feeling the way you do right now.

Now he’s a face that you can put a name to, instead of just viewing him as Marcus’ other footballer friend, that familiar grinning face you’d spotted at gatherings who always offered you a shy, awkward smile whenever you shared eye contact but someone who you’d never actually found the balls to speak to.

(Sure, as a regular human being with functioning eyes you knew that he was attractive, but he was way out of your league.)

(The constantly grinning, elusive, life of the party Jesse Lingard, who Marcus had raved about to you pretty much since the day they’d met, with his 5 million Instagram followers, ridiculous dance moves that no self-respecting 26 year old man should let the world see, and that smile- God, that stupid, infectious shit eating grin, when his eyes crinkled and made everyone else look mediocre in comparison to him.)

(He wouldn’t look in your direction even if the world was about to end.)

It’s New Years’ Eve, and his Christmas jumper smells like Baileys and cinnamon, lasting remnants of the festive period. “Nice to meet you.” You practically have to shout over the music. “I know Marcus.”

“You what Marcus?”

“I know Marcus.”

“You know who?”

You roll your eyes and shake your head, dismissing his question. “Doesn’t matter.”

“What?”

“I said.” You shout. “It doesn’t matter.”

He nods and smiles again, leaning in, “I don’t want to be weird or anything, considering we just met,” his gaze is hazy and clouded with the effects of the beer he’s clutching in his right hand, “but you’re really fucking pretty.”

You can feel your face flush, a blush superior to the one your red wine had already given you, and the next thing you know it’s nearly midnight, and you’re drunk and giggling and he’s flirting and tracing between the gap between your jeans and jumper with his fingers, and you’re both leaning in and your friends are counting down from ten, and he kisses you, amidst cheers and shouts and fireworks.

And you tell yourself, what’s the worst that could really happen?

“Only NINE stops.”

You trace your finger over the plastic Metrolink sign, running it up and down the line connecting the two tram stations, marking your place and his. “Nine stops to get from me to you.”

He snakes his hands around your waist, pressing his chin into your shoulder and kissing the exposed skin of your neck. “Stop.” You laugh, voice breathy. “We’re in public.”

“We’re in Manchester city centre on a Thursday night.” He pulls away, leading you towards the platform and laughing loudly, his voice booming throughout the cold night. “There’s no one fuckin’ here!”

He’s had a few pints, and he’s tipsy, handsy, flirty, silly Jesse, one of your favourite versions of him, kissing you breathlessly and grinning, hands running up and down your tight jeans and hooking into your belt loops and murmuring in your ear about how excited he is to pull them off of you later.

“Nine stops, you know,” He hums as the tram pulls away and you lean into him, watching the city pass you by, “is pretty far.”

“You’re such a city boy now.” You roll your eyes. “It’s like, 20 minutes. If we went back to my hometown, you’d be lucky to see a bus more than once every half an hour.”

“You wouldn’t have to do the whole 9 stops if you moved in with me.”

You crinkle up your nose and quirk an eyebrow at him. “What are you suggesting?”

“What do you think I’m suggesting?”

Laughing, you prop your feet up on the empty seat opposite and lean into his side, as he flops an arm around your shoulder. There’s no one else with you two and your voices and shared laughter echo throughout the empty carriage. “I’m serious!” He holds his hands up and looks at you with wide eyes. “Do it. Move in with me. You can cook me breakfast every morning, and make me my tea for when I get back, make me a brew whenever I want one… you’ll make the perfect little housewife.”

“Now that you’ve said that, you can fuck off.”

And you both brush it off and don’t speak of the topic again, but when he leaves for training the next morning, there’s a spare key for his flat lying on a post-it, with a hastily scribbled note.

You don’t have to properly move in – no pressure or anything like that. But I had a spare key lying around and wanted you to have it. Jess x

(When the breakup comes, you don’t work up the courage to give it him back, and it’s still lying in your bedside table draw, post-it long gone, gathering dust and eventually added to the pile of his things you swear you’ll get around to giving him back one day.)

(There’s a strange feeling in your stomach every time you pass by his stop.)

It’s EIGHT in the morning.

You’re sat in the coffee shop equidistant to your flat, Marcus’s house and United’s training ground, where every Sunday without fail, the three of you would meet up for breakfast.

(Well, where you used to meet up every Sunday.)

(Minus that one time you were too hungover to leave the house without projectile vomiting on your own feet.)

For the first time since the breakup, Jesse had appeared, the sleepiness still drooping over his eyes and his hair mussed by his pillowcase. Your mind flashes to the image of him sleeping face down in his pillow, a position that made you nearly piss yourself laughing every time you saw him, but you suppress the memory quickly.

“Everyone can see it except the two of you, you know.”

Marcus tips his chin upwards and nods matter-of-factly. You roll your eyes and huff. “You’re a prick. And not just for saying that. But for inviting him out for our thing, our tradition, again, when you know it’s just going to be fucking awkward. He didn’t have to be here.”

“I’m only saying.” He raises his eyebrows and holds up two hands, as if to say, not my fault, I’m not interfering in the slightest, I’m just telling you that I know you’re still in love with your ex, and I know he still feels the same, and that even though there’s a very high chance things could still go catastrophically, terrifically, hugely wrong, I’m going to tell you and mess with your head anyway?

You reply snappily, huffing and folding your arms across your chest, “You’re messing with me, and it’s pissing me off. Fuck off. Tell him to fuck off too while you’re at it.”

He barks out a laugh and you roll your eyes. “I’m trying to reunite my two best friends, that’s all. Get the gang back together and all that!” He whines and shuffles closer to you, flinging an arm around your shoulders loosely. “Let me live. You both know you’re both being stubborn. Just talk to each other. It’ll all work out.”

“I don’t even like him anyway. Not like that. Not anymore.”

It’s a lie, a stupid, threadbare, slap you in the face lie. Marcus knows it too, and snorts. “Yeah, sure. I believe you. It’s not like you’ve been pining over each other for the past 3 months and you’re giving the girl he’s talking to at the moment daggers.”

You pull away your gaze sharply. Jesse’s in the queue- well, he was in the queue, now he’s loitering by the serviettes - and he’s been pulled to the side by a beautiful girl. They’ve been chatting amiably for the better part of the last ten minutes and you can feel your blood temperature rising steadily. “I’m staring,” You begin, and your head starts whizzing at a million miles an hour to come up with a decent excuse. “Because Jesse has our coffees and I don’t want them to get cold just because he’s in the middle of a stupid conversation.”

“’Stupid conversation’,” Marcus air quotes your words and smirks. “Jealousy isn’t a very attractive trait, you know.”

“I’m not jealous.” You scoff. “I’m just thirsty, that’s all.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“Fuck you.”

A few minutes, and plenty of glares and continuous teaching jabs from Marcus later, Jesse approaches and smiles apologetically. “Sorry about that.” he chuckles, and hands you your mug.

Your fingers bump and it’s so meaningless and tiny but you kick yourself for still flinching when your skin made contact. “Careful. It’s still hot.”

(See, he cares about you. Maybe it’s not all just in your head!)

It’s an instinct to smile back at him, a repressed reflex to not pat the empty space next to you and rest your hand on his thigh, but you gulp as he sits opposite instead, far away from the table, from you. “Make conversation.” Marcus hisses.

You can feel your face blossoming cherry red, feel the discomfort in the air rise, feel your palms grow sweaty, and you shoot him a dirty look, mouthing, “Stop making it obvious.”

“You’re the one making it obvious.” He hisses back.

“Hm?” Jesse looks up from his phone to across the table.

He’s wearing that stupidly adorable, confused look on his face again, and you want to kiss him, you want to throw your boiling hot coffee in his face, you want to slap him, do something, do anything that would be less unbearably awkward than the three of you making small talk about the new Kenyan variety of coffee beans Marcus was trying out.

“Hm what?” You gargle.

“I was just asking what you guys were mumbling about.” He leans back, hands gripping his mug.

“Nothing.” You interject, before Marcus can start up again. “Marcus’s just being a dick, that’s all.”

You kick yourself for acting like such a lovesick, pathetic idiot, because you’ve never been like this before, you’ve constantly sworn to yourself that you’d never going be like this, but now he’s in the picture and it’s like everything that you ever held dearly to you has gone straight out of the window. Marcus pipes up, “So, who was that girl?”

(Now he decides to fucking speak.)

“Which girl?”

This time, you’re not quick enough to interrupt Marcus from piping up. “The girl you were flirting with before, Jesse, who you might go out with, who seems really nice and wasn’t a baby by actually talking to you about her feelings instead of hiding behind her emotions because she’s so scared of rejection and open communication, that she’d be willing to sacrifice the possibility of something really great?”

(You’re this close to chucking your cappuccino over his head.)

Jesse side eyes Marcus, opening his mouth to reply but then shaking his head and exhaling instead. “She’s right, you are being fucking weird today.” He shakes his head, tipping his chin upwards slightly and shrugging. “Besides, she’s not really my type anyway.”

(She was beautiful.)

(She’d be anyone’s type.)

He’s looking at you dead in the eye this time, ignoring Marcus’s eyes darting back and forth between the two of you, and you venture, “What is your type, then?”

He pulls a face, like come on, are you really asking that, you know what my fucking type is and you know it’s not that girl I was talking to strategically 2 foot in front of you so you’d see and get jealous, and when he doesn’t answer, you take it as a silent victory for #TeamYouWereRight, not #TeamJesse.

“That’s for me to know, isn’t it?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

You let Marcus fill the silence of the rest of your breakfast, and when you leave you’re too much of a coward to even look Jesse in the eye.

It only takes him SEVEN days to move on

When the cover of Ok! on your best friend’s coffee table catches your eyes, you can almost feel your wine and the tequila shots you had knocked back rising back up your throat. Your vision is hazy and the bitterness, the anger, the hurt surges through your veins as you pick it up and throw it to the floor, out of sight and out of mind. You were right, the featurette screamed out at you, he wasn’t, isn’t worth it, isn’t worth you crying over.

It only took him a week to find someone else to fuck and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to go out tonight with the same intentions.

Deep down you know you’re being childish and if you were sober you’d probably never have sunk to such a level, but the tequila is buzzing in your blood and you can’t stop thinking about that fucking photograph.

(A photograph of Jesse revelling in a post-Boxing Day victory glow, crowded with Paul and Marcus in some swanky inner city bar, with his hand on the thigh of a beautiful woman whose Instagram account you made a mental note of to stalk when you were in a soberer state.)

There’s a tranquil voice somewhere in the back of your head telling you to step back and be rational. You’d been friends with Marcus and the boys for far too long to trust the split-second capture of a loitering paparazzi over his word.

It was probably just a one-night stand, that rational voice piped up again. Plus, he’s single now. Give him a break. The boy is gonna need to get laid eventually.

(But he’d told you he didn’t want to be with anyone else, that he’d rather have quiet nights in with his teammates to celebrate, probably just PS4 and takeaway, that he wouldn’t enjoy going out if it wasn’t with you.)

(That rational voice in your head could go fuck itself.)

You shrug off the worry at the back of your mind and post the picture to your Instagram story regardless.

Your phone buzzes 2 minutes later.

Who is he?

You hate yourself for revelling in his jealousy, but the sense of satisfaction you gain overrides any rationale that sober you would have considered.

Who the fuck is that guy?

Can you reply?

I can see you’ve read these messages, you know.

Are you fucking him? Is he your new boyfriend?

Fuck you.

Happy SIX months, babe. Love yaaaaaaaa!!!

is what the balloon reads, as the delivery man comes by Jesse’s house with a bunch of flowers almost the size of him and a handful of personalised helium balloons.

“Delivery for Mr J Lingard?” The postman reads off his phone, before handing Jesse the assortment of romantic gifts and offering up a screen for Jesse to sign.

He smiles tiredly and nods.

(He swore he had remembered to cancel this order after you’d broken up.)

“Ta mate,” He replies, taking the flowers inside and dumping the balloons behind him in his hallway.

“Anniversary, eh?” The delivery man smiles. “She’ll love the presents.”

(He’s going to throw up.)

Jesse attempts to smile and brush it off with a laugh, but it’s not convincing. “Fingers crossed, yeah.”

“Best of luck.” He walks back down his drive. “Have a nice day.”

“And you.”

He’s alone again in his hallway, the gifts surrounding him, a flurry of red and pink bows and yellow roses, your favourite, your name written onto the balloons.

He imagines you in the kitchen with him, you, being your typical over-emotional, dramatic self probably welling up at the card he’d written, tactfully arranging the balloons for an Instagram photo, talking about inhaling the helium and taking a video for his Snapchat speaking in funny voices, getting stressed out about doing your eyeshadow for your dinner later that evening.

He can imagine looking at you from across his kitchen table like you just hung the moon in the sky, the thought of being with you, eating breakfast with you, talking to you all making his stomach churn. Because the breakup hadn’t been formal nor had it been official, and it was only after you blocked most (well, all) of his social media accounts, and your face no longer appeared, grinning and slightly flushed, in the stands of Old Trafford, that he had realised the severity of what had happened between the two of you.

And Jesse kicks himself over it every day, he could have done more, could have turned up to your house or your office and demanded an answer or at least a conversation, but his stubbornness and obstinacy had prevented him from doing so, and your unwillingness to communicate had landed you both at a stalemate.

(If he could go back in time, he would.)

He leaves the anniversary gifts in his spare room upstairs and doesn’t even open the door.

05:02 – Are you up?

05:14 – Lol of course you won’t be

05:14 – Soz for texting. I can’t sleep and I think I’m just getting a bit caught up in own head

05:16 – I just

05:16 – I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind

05:16 – I just don’t know why this is still so fucking difficult. It’s been like 3 months and I still can’t sleep because I’m thinking about you and how everything went wrong

05:19 – I’m sorry if I pressured you when I told you I loved you and I’m sorry for not fighting more

05:20 – Didn’t meant to rush you. Just wanted to be honest.

05:20 – And now I’ve fucked everything up. And I’ve fucked it with Marcus too, jt’s always awkward and I know he’s taken your side and everything is just shite

05:26 – Fucking hell

05:26 – I can’t do being just friends and I can’t do platonic. Maybe we just should just cut if off completely

05:27 – Please come and see me so we can talk it over

05:27 – I just can’t do this, this in between

05:28 – I love you and I know you still love me

05:28 – Is that not enough???

It’s FOUR in the morning and Jesse’s regretting even leaving the house in the first place.

His head is pounding with the deep bass coming from the speakers behind him, as he gingerly sips at his lime soda, thoughts of his alarm ringing at 7:30am tomorrow morning looming in the back of his mind, thoughts of what his Mum would say if she knew he wasn’t getting a healthy 8 hours of sleep before a game, thoughts of you in that little black dress, swaying to the beat, standing far too close to that short-back-and-sides-probably-a-fuckboy idiot whispering something that Jesse doesn’t want to imagine down your ear.

(Thoughts of what he’d like to do to you in a dress like that.)

You eventually shrug the other guy off when he gets a little too eager, a little too handsy, and pull your hair loose from its ponytail, eyes scanning around the club and pausing when the land on Jesse.

He’s stood in the corner, not speaking to anybody and hardly moving, and that’s when you know he must be in a bad mood, because the DJ’s just started playing Sicko Mode and he’s not even flinched. Then one of his mates appears by his side, hollering down his eardrum, and Jesse doesn’t even respond with a smile or a laugh, he just shrugs him off and walks towards the doors.

You’re not sure why, but you follow him as he heads towards the smoking area. You lose him eventually in a sea of drunk people, and exhale, the wind suddenly sobering you up.

Fucking typical, you think, lighting a fag and leaning back against the brick wall, eyes closed.

“You shouldn’t smoke.”

You open one eye and there he is, stood there in front of you, looking at you with a mixture of fondness, annoyance and disapproval. Looking at him dead in the eyes, you lift it to your lips and inhale. “I must have a tendency for going back to things that I know are bad for me.”

He looks at you, and you can tell he wants to bite, to start another fight, but then he bites his tongue and exhales. “How have you been?”

“I’m alright.”

“Good.”

“And you?”

“Good.”

“Jess?”

“Hm?”

“Do you want to get out of here?”

(The next thing you know, you’re in a taxi togetther and he’s telling the driver his address and your hands are all over him and his are all over you.)

(And you fall into bed with him again, like always, like you know deep down happens every time, as if its a habit, and when you wake up the next morning in his shirt you tell yourself that this time really will be the last time.)

You hadn’t anticipated saying those THREE words to Jesse so soon.

God, you hadn’t even considered the possibility of things lasting between the two of you for longer than a few weeks, but now here you were nearly 6 months later, lying on his sofa with his head in your lap and your fingers running through his hair. “Hey,” Jesse speaks and sits up, switching the volume of the telly down to zero.

“Hm?”

He looks away, before turning almost as red as the United shorts he was still yet to change out of, then gulping and shaking his head. “Never mind.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” He cuddles back into you and though your heart melts, you wiggle him off and jab him with your elbow.

“Talk to me.” You whine. “You’re no fun when you’re being weird like this. What’s up?”

Jesse heaves a sigh, and for the first time during your conversation, looks you in the eye before burning bright red again and glancing away. It’s like he can’t bear the sight of you, and his determined avoidance of both a proper conversation and sharing eye contact with you makes you feel slightly nauseous.

A few moments of silence pass before he looks at you again. “I, well- I feel weird right now.” He stumbles. “Because, um, I-“

“Jesse, what is it?”

Your pulse begins to race as your mind inevitably wanders, and the pessimist in you instantly leaps to the worst possible thing. Was he breaking up with you? Things had been going so well, and surely Marcus would have called to give you a heads up if he knew something weird was going on with Jesse.

(Then again, you had cancelled on date night for the past 3 weeks to binge the Great British Bake Off.)

(Still, would that really have warranted a breakup?)

(And plus, Jesse was the Bake Off’s second biggest fan, after yourself, naturally.)

It could be something smaller, something to do with his family, or his career. But he never felt uncomfortable discussing football with you, despite your feelings towards his club, and his relatives treated you like one of their own.

(Your mind does eventually wander to the possibility of him cheating, or him finding someone else, but due to your own stubbornness and for the sake of your sanity, you’re quick to expel any ideas like that straight out of your head.)

“I love you.”

His voice is soft and cracks at the end, and it’s so, so far from what you had been expecting, and so unlike the usual confident, grinning Jesse that you were used to that a lump forms in your throat. “Oh, Jess-“

“I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to scare you off.” He mumbles. “But I’m finding it way too hard to not have those stupid fucking three words replaying in my mind every time I look at you. Because that’s what’s happening, I swear. I’m trying to play it cool and casual but all I can think about every time you smile, or speak, or laugh is the fact that I’m in love with you.”

A smile pulls on your lips and you immediately scramble forward to wrap your arms around him. He laughs and you feel his chest rumble underneath you. “You don’t have to be scared.” You comfort. “Trust me, I was shitting myself way imagining the worst just now.”

Jesse laughs. “Cos like, it terrifies me, it fucking scares the living daylights out of me, because I’ve never felt like this about, well- anyone before. And I was petrified that you didn’t feel the same way.”

You grin, before leaning in and pressing your lips to his with force. It’s a hasty, reassuring kiss, and your teeth clash and you murmur in between kisses, “I love you.”

(Months had passed since that night now and those three words hadn’t lost any meaning.)

(And you just wish you could say them to him again.)

“I know we said it the last TWO times, but we really need to stop doing this.”

His voice is soft, breaking the silence you were lying in.

(You’re grateful that he was the one to speak first, but you’re not so grateful for him bringing up that wretched conversation yet again.)

He looks across at you, the dim light from your lamp illuminating the side of your face, your knotted hair and smudged lipstick, and then at your bedside clock, reading 01:23. Jesse sighs and you can feel your heart sinking into your stomach, as he reaches for his boxers and pulls them on. Your bedroom is a mess, cushions and throws tossed to the floor, and he speaks up again, “I mean it, this time.”

“Okay.”

He continues, though he really doesn’t need to. You’ve got the message loud and clear. “I think it’s just good for our, er, healing. Isn’t like, not sleeping with your ex like the number 1 thing not to do after a breakup?”

“Probably, yeah.”

You hug your duvet up around your body protectively, before reaching for your bra and t-shirt that had been tossed to floor just two hours earlier, when the expected texts had come, the are-you-awake, the got-plans-tonight?, the I’m-horny-and-I-miss-you-let’s-not-waste-any-more-time texts.

(Leading to the exact opposite of what was good for you after the breakup.)

(For fucks sake, you tell yourself.)

(Dua Lipa did not write New Rules for you to be this pathetic, this needy, this easy.)

“Fine, then.” You say, blasé, casual, giving off an air of nonchalance and indifference that couldn’t be further from the whirlwind of thoughts in your mind. “You don’t have to spend the night. Can you see yourself out or do you want me to get up?”

The way he looks back at you after you speak is enough to break your heart all over again. It’s a pleading look, and he’s willing you with his eyes to try and communicate for once, for the first time, but you refuse to meet his eyeline.

“I can see myself out.”

“Right.”

He dresses in silence, grabs his stuff and stalks out your flat, slamming your door on his way out. You scramble out of bed to watch him walk down your street, the way you used to when you started dating, when he used to blow you kisses as he ambled off your drive, or when you used to watch him run to a taxi on mornings when he was late for training.

This time, for the first time, he doesn’t look back at your window.

It’s been ONE year to the day since you met him, and you hate yourself for noticing the parallels as you walk into the living room at Marcus’s NYE party and he’s the first face you can recognise.

It’s like a scene straight out of a romantic comedy and it makes you want to die.

(Fortunately, he doesn’t quite spot you yet, and you’re free to make a beeline to the kitchen, in peace and quiet with an unopened bottle of Chardonnay as your company.)

(It lasts about 15 minutes.)

“Hey.”

You turn around and you see him, smiling at you in that same, stupid, garish, adorable Christmas jumper, holding out a Quality Street chocolate. It’s a peace offering, an olive branch, and you take it with a nod. “You alright?”

Jesse nods and takes a seat on the sofa behind you. “So, what are your New Year's resolutions, hey?”

You settle on the sofa next to him, knocking your knee against his accidentally, cursing and looking at him from over the rim of your glass of wine.

Jesse chuckles then shrugs sarcastically. “Can’t improve perfection.”

Your instinct is to let out a cackle, and you do, you burst out laughing so dramatically your drink nearly projects out of your nostrils, because he’s not even wrong and there’s not much about him that could really do with changing.

(Scrap that, he should learn to cook.)

(And definitely how to use a tumble dryer.)

(And call time of death on those dances he insisted on doing every time he scored a goal.)

“You’re the fucking worst.”

“What are your resolutions then, hey?” He knocks his knees with yours.

“Eat more fruit.” You fib.

Stop being so stubborn and accept that sometimes you’re in the wrong. Stop bottling up your emotions. Don’t be afraid to let people know how you feel. Stop being such a fucking coward all the time.

(Resolutions that Jesse of all people didn’t need to know about.)

“Boring.” He hums.

“Drink more water.” You add, nodding. “Start going to yoga again.”

“That’s so generic.”

“Fuck off. It’s called self improvement.”

“It sounds like every basic 23 year old girl I’ve ever met.”

You peek at your phone when he looks away: 23:58.

Fuck. How the fuck had it got so late already?

Your friends begin to gather in hordes in the kitchen, the TV broadcasting the fireworks in London has been switched on and drinks are poured and held aloft. Jesse jumps to his feet and offers you his hand as you do the same; his hand feels warm and familiar and when he lets go it suddenly feels like there’s acres of space between you again.

“I think I’m getting déjà vu.”

You roll your eyes, resisting the urge to smile. “Déjà vu to when?”

“That night. The first time we met.”

Jesse tips his chin backwards, and someone behind him trips, bumps him forward, and he stumbles into you, by reflex finding your waist and your free hand pressing up against his chest.

He’s inches in front of you, and you can feel your pulse in your eyeballs and his breath across your face.

You splutter out, “I’m really, really fucking sorry.”

Jesse laughs. “What the fuck are you on about now, mad woman?”

“I’m sorry. About it all. About everything.”

He shakes his head, as if to say it’s okay, stop apologising, we haven’t been this close without wanting to kill each other since the break up and I don’t think we should even tempt the possibility of us arguing again.

And he’s leaning in, and you can smell his cologne and it’s comforting and reassuring and confusing, and makes your head spin but grounds your feet, and you’re closing your eyes as your friends begin to shout.

Happy new year!

And he’s kissing you and you’re kissing him and you can feel his hand gripping your waist, holding and squeezing you and you can feel your stomach fizzing. When he pulls away he’s looking at you softly, gaze mellowed by tequila and the closeness between you two. “Happy new years, Jess.” is all you can muster, as he leans in and smiles again.

“Happy new year.”

#My writing #jesse lingard #jesse lingard fanfiction #jesse lingard one shot #jesse lingard imagine #england nt #england nt fanfiction #england nt imagine #manchester united imagine #cant believe i just typed that i feel DIRTY #footballer fanfiction #footballer imagines #footballer imagine #footballer one shot

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spn-ficfanatic · 6 years ago

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Halo- Chapter 3 (Final)

SPN-FICFANATIC MASTERLIST

“HALO” MASTERLIST - CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER TWO

Fic Summary: You’ve lived next door to Jensen and Jared for a year and have had a somewhat strained relationship. After a recent and massive change in your life your paths cross again and they discover the cause of that, and bridges start to mend in unexpected ways.

Characters: Jensen x Reader, Jared x Platonic!Reader

Chapter Word Count: 1509

Genre: Fluff. Just fluff :)

Warnings: Swearing seems likely, that’s just how I roll

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When you awoke you were startled to find you were alone in the bed. You lay a hand across the mattress and found it to be cool, before sitting up and looking around the room.

“Jay?” you asked timidly, your heart stopping in your chest.

You heard a clinking in the kitchen and let out a shuddering sigh, grateful he hadn’t left, and got up and wrapped yourself in your dressing gown.

“I’m in the kitchen,” he called out as you tied the robe shut, and you let out a chuckle.

“Yep, worked that one out,” you replied, heading down the hallway to the open space. He was pouring you each a coffee and you sigh contently as you sat down on the kitchen stool. Bringing it over to you he leant down and gave you a deep kiss, which you returned with equal passion. He was grinning as he pulled away, and you brought your mug to your lips to test the temperature... Perfect.

“That was amazing Jensen,” you told him shyly, unable to help the blush from creeping up to your face.

“Nah, I’ve made coffee for you before. This is pretty average in comparison,” he joked before taking a sip of his own drink. You laughed as you put your mug down, running your hand through your hair as you yawned.

“That was,” he started, looking at you seriously. “Quite possibly the best night of my life. Well, not night. I realise it was lunchtime sex, actually it felt like a lot more than just sex, but -“

“Stop rambling Jay, you’re starting to sound like me,” you chuckled. Setting your mug down you stood up and rounded the counter to wrap your arms around his waist. He did the same, and you nestled your head underneath his chin contently. “I’ve only been with one man before and he never treated me like that in the bedroom. Never asked if I was ok or made sure I was enjoying myself before he made sure he got off. What you gave me? It was the best experience of my life.”

You pulled back to smile at him, and he looked down to smile back at you. After sharing a kiss you both pulled apart to finish your coffees and discuss the plans for the evening. Jensen unfortunately had to work so even more unfortunately you couldn’t hit replay on the events of the day, but he promised he’d come right over once he got home. Before you knew it, you were standing at your front door kissing him goodbye as he headed next door to freshen up. You sighed happily and bounded inside, ready to throw on the next season of Supernatural with some cheese and wine.

Jensen closed the door behind him and rested his back against it for a moment recalling the events of the last 4 hours. If someone had told him this is where the day would have ended up he never would have believed them, but he was immensely happy it had. Grinning madly he practically floated to the bathroom to get ready, wishing he could get this shoot over with so he could get back to you.

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“Jensen, what’s gotten into you? I thought we were going to prank cranky pants,” Jared whispered while the crew were busy setting up the shot. Jim was busy going through his lines, oblivious to the fact he was supposed to be the proud owner of a cream pie to the face at some point during the scene. However, Jensen shook his head.

“Dude, it’s just this scene to be done and then we get to go home. I’m wiped,” he shrugged. “We’ll get him tomorrow, yer?”

Jared looked at him with a raised eyebrow, curious about the turn of events, but didn’t push the topic. At least not right away.

1 HOUR LATER

“So, I noticed before you headed to make-up that you have a hickey,” Jared commented casually, causing Jensen to choke on the coffee he had been sipping at that moment.

“Man, you HAD to wait until I was drinking to drop that on me?” he scolded, patting down his shirt with a napkin while Jared laughed alongside him.

“Sorry dude, you made it too easy though. Cummon, who was it?”

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell,” Jensen replied, throwing the napkin at Jared’s face as he sat up from the table. Jared followed, holding his own drink in his hand and easily keeping up with Jensen by the grace of his long legs.

“Since when are you a gentleman? You told me when you and Stacey got hot and heavy in the make-up trailer.”

“This is... different,” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. How do you tell your best friend you’ve fallen in love with the girl next door? The one who was only a few months prior being stabbed in her kitchen by her ex-husband who abused her for the better part of 2 years?

Jared stopped in his tracks, and a huge grin crept across his face. Jensen stopped to turn back and look at him, and groaned when he realised the light bulb had gone off.

“Dude... Y/N? It was totally Y/N, right?”

Jensen felt his face blush, and without answering he turned around and quickened up the pace as he walked away. Jared was laughing and chasing after him, spinning him to face him when he caught up.

“Dude it’s fine, you two are good together. It’s been headed this way for a while so why are you being weird about this?”

“She just got out of an abusive relationship Jare! I didn’t plan this ok, it kinda just happened. Her mum came over and was freaking out saying she couldn’t support herself and telling her she was going home with her and packing her things, so I ran over and told her mom she was my fiancée and that I was helping her and she could stick her head where the sun don’t shine. And then Y/N was crying and I was holding her and when she finally calmed down she looked at me like I was her bloody hero and it just... happened.”

Jared stared at him incredulously before another grin spread across his face. Jensen rolled his eyes and groaned in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air.

“Dude, you even ramble like her. Is that, like, an STD or something?”

“Shaddap. And wait, what do you mean ‘it’s been headed this way for a while’?” he asked. It was Jared’s turn to roll his eyes at his friend’s ignorance, and as the bell started ringing he started walking them back to set.

“You two have this thing. I’m not sure I can even explain it but you’re just so natural with each other. It’s more than friendship; I love her like a sister but you... I dunno man, the way you look at each other when the other is looking away, how you stand up when she does and hold the door for her, the way you both light up like the sun when the other walks in the room. It’s like a fricking Disney movie in our living room.”

Jared finished his coffee and threw the cup into the nearby bin as he approached the set, leaving Jensen with that realisation. Not even he had realised you had that sort of connection, and now he really wanted to get back to you.

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Despite his earlier teasing, Jared was quite casual when Jensen headed straight for your front door upon arriving home in the wee hours of the morning.

“See you later?” he asked as he put the key in their door.

“I think so yer, see ya then,” Jensen replied, knocking lightly on your door so as not to wake the rest of the residence.

When you didn’t answer he frowned, but tried to remind himself that most people were asleep at 3am. Using the key you had given them in case of emergency, he quietly let himself into your apartment. The light in the kitchen was still on and he could see you were fast asleep on the couch. Smiling, he set his bag down and approached you quietly, not wishing to startle you. When you didn’t stir, he gently bent down and lifted you into his arms and carried you to your bedroom. You nuzzled your face into his chest, and his heartbeat increased at the feeling it gave him. After a quick shower he slipped into the bed next to your still-sleeping form, spooning you comfortably. You shuffled your body closer, and moaned happily as you continued to slumber. Running his fingers lightly through your hair, Jensen thought about everything that had happened since you came into their lives and realised this was the happiest he'd been in years.

Holding you tightly he made a silent vow to never let you hurt again, and eventually fell asleep with you in his arms.

A/N: Thanks for the love, hope y’all enjoyed it! FYI my current WIP has the reader dealing with cancer, it’s gonna be epic and I hope you all stick around to enjoy it (really proud of this one... if I can ever finish it lol!). Also feeling like doing another Buffy rewrite… I might have an idea up my sleeve maybe.

SPN-FICFANATIC MASTERLIST

“HALO” MASTERLIST - CHAPTER ONE - CHAPTER TWO

Tag Lists (Open) Halo Series taglist: @ocean-waves-that-misbehave, @flamencodiva @krys198478, @lostnnot2befound, @deansyahtzee, @gloriousartisanfancreator, @anathewierdo , @darkswanordie , @ravenesque, @mirandaaustin93 , @thekatherinewinchester (won’t tag *SOB*), @letmebeyoursforever “Dean/Jensen” taglist: @lilydarcy (won’t tag *SOB*), @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk “Everything” taglist: @angelsandwinchesters, @grace-for-sale, @growningupgeek, @iamnotsaneatall, @nanie5, @waywardasfudge, @ronja-uebrick, @im-dead-inside05, @julzdec, @adoptdontshoppets, @meghanbeinghappy, @sleepylunarwolf , @sammysgirl1997

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dstrachan · 4 years ago

Photo

LUCY SPRAGGAN 'CHOICES'

To start off I really must thank one of my ex-students for encouraging me to give Lucy Spraggan a critical listen. Taz McDougall had been providing me with regular reports about our local speedway team; I appreciate that for commercial reasons their exact name varies according to principal sponsorship, but as far as I'm concerned they are simply the 'Berwick Bandits'. As a result of her input I was able to produce weekly 'Speedway Reports' for a couple of seasons which featured in my shows on TD1 Radio and also on Lionheart Radio. As time passed things changed and these updates ceased. Nevertheless I remained in contact with her and was impressed by her developing passion for photography and was thrilled for her when she was able to get trackside and pit lane access to enable her to capture many excellent images of the bikes and riders.

As a result of our connection she persuaded me to step away from my somewhat 'anti-populist' views regarding such TV shows as 'The X Factor' and listen carefully to Lucy Spraggan. I had come to realise that I really shouldn't be so dismissive of artists who attempt to pursue success by engaging with such programmes after I bought a CD which turned out to be by another artist who had participated in such shows – bought in 'Rough Trade' – it was only after purchase that I disciovered that Bo Bruce aka Lady Catherine Anna Brudenell-Bruce had been a contestant in 'The Voice' in 2012. More recently I encountered Livia who used a number of negative experiences from 'The X Factor' to help re-inforce her determination to produce music her own way.

So; I listened, and was very impressed. Fast forward and I noted that Lucy would be playing at a local venue, Mac Arts in Galashiels. I made some enquiries there and as a result was so happy to be able to invite Taz to attend the venue for the gig with a triple A pass that would enable her to get up close with her cameras. I also attended that night and experienced a truly inspiring live performance that ensured that I was aware of Lucy's stage presence in addition to her songwriting and singing talents. Having previously been persuaded of Lucy's talents I most definitely came away from that night in Galashiels as an even greater believer. She had the sell-out audience totally entranced; her rendition of The Proclaimers' '500 Miles' was a true joy.

Subsequently, following her social media posts it became abundantly clear that Lucy was undergoing a personal transformation and I could very much empathise with her posts as she dealt openly and frankly with confidence and body image issues. Unlike some followers, I was perfectly at ease when Lucy's posts shifted in emphasis from her keep fit and healthy lifestyle content to a focus on the impending release of her new album 'Choices'. Why would anybody claim to be a supportive follower only to become critical about a professional musician seeking to positively promote her latest creative output, particularly at a time when opportunities to generate income via live performances have disappeared? Quite rightly Lucy's social media feed highlighted her positive feelings regarding the way in which 'Choices' was received by the general public. It rapidly climbed the i-tunes cart to reach number 1 and Amazon sold out of all physical format copies ahead of the first official chart after release! So on Monday 1st March, 'Choices' was listed in the UK Album Chart at number 5, looking like the first openly 'out' lesbian to have a Top Ten solo album in almost twenty years. Personally I only concern myself with whether or not I like the music but I can certainly understand Lucy's excitement about such achievements given that is how she makes a living.

Well, as usual, what was intended to be an album review starts off by getting rather sidetracked – but, hey, that's just me rambling on; should you wish there are plenty other more standard reviews of 'Choices' just a click away via your chosen web browser. So now I'll get to the music. Throughout the album Lucy's intelligent and thought provoking lyrics span a range of topics. The opening track 'Flowers' sets the scene with Lucy's unique voice soaring over atmospheric jangly guitars that for some reason got me imagining a 1960s cold war spy movie shot in black and white. Track two, 'Roots' is a great upbeat rocker that simply begs to be sung along with; I briefly wondered if the line “I'm not made of stainless steel” was a subtle reference to her earlier life as a plumber's apprentice – probably not, more a recognition that she is not impervious to the corrosive effects of the environment, particularly on social media.

Next is 'Sober' which considers her relationship with alcohol which she has stated as having “been a very difficult and sad thing”. 'My drinking has closed so many doors in my life and the gravity of that only really hit me once I decided to stop drinking”. Lucy has said that she found herself drinking to "take the edge off" and then doing the same the night after to "take the edge off" the edge she'd created for herself the night before.

“Long winded way of saying my drinking career has been a vicious cycle since it began. You might think I talk about this a lot - you're right, I do”.

Regular listeners will know that I frequently seek to link songs to topics that I have been discussing and now track four, 'Run To The Hills' enters my library as an alternative to Iron Maiden if I ever refer to hills and mountains.

'Heartbreak Suite' continues Lucy's determination to open her heart and sing about deeply personal issues; followed by 'If I Had A God', which underscores her propensity for deep and searching lyrics such as “I'd give anything for something to believe in, but you won't let me in”.

'I Spent A Night In The Desert' is yet another song that inspires me, and finds me considering the pre-Covid world where artists freely toured extensively, playing indoor venues and outdoor festivals. Having been privileged to see her play live in Mac Arts, Galashiels, where I experienced the electric rapport that she so readily generates with her audience, like many songs on this album, I can quite clearly visualise Lucy delivering this to live audiences and having them totally captivated.

'You've Let Yourself Down' maintains Lucy's distinctive vocals whilst flirting with a more contemporary style.

We now reach track nine, 'Animal' – check out the 'Rockyesque' video that accompanies it which provides Lucy an opportunity to showcase her current physique and attitude.

Track ten is 'Wild', although the genre doesn't particularly fit this song's lyrics start with a great nominee for the best country and western song title, “she's sick and tired of being sick and tired”

The next track is my former 'track of the month', 'Run', which also has a great video to compliment it. Whilst always having enjoyed running, it wasn't until my 'nervous breakdown' / 'head exploded' that I truly came to appreciated just how important physical fitness could help to maintain mental health and so the message contained in the lyrics of this song are so wonderfully inspirational!

The penultimate track is the one that provides the album title, 'Choices (Don't Be Afraid)' which again provides Lucy with the opportunity to showcase the breadth of her talents; echoes of Emmylou Harris as far as my ears are concerned, yet still so obviously Lucy Spraggan!

Finally, to close this wonderful compilation of tracks is 'Why Don't We Start From Here?', another truly anthemic song that serves to confirm my belief that Lucy Spraggan is an underappreciated genius – something that might hopefully change following the release of this album.

1/ 'Flowers'

2/ 'Roots'

3/ 'Sober'

4/ 'Run To The Hills'

5/ 'Heartbreak Suites'

6/ 'If I Had A God'

7/ 'I Spent A Night In The Desert'

8/ 'You've Let Yourself Down'

9/ 'Animal'

10/ 'Wild'

11/ 'Run'

12/ 'Choices (Don't Be Afraid)'

13/ 'Why Don't We Start From Here?'

Photo credits: Lucy live at Mac Arts, Galashiels by Taz McDougall

#lucy spraggan #choices #views from the edge #taz mcd photography

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danganranpa-v3-imagines · 7 years ago

Note

Hmm...How about the girls with a male s/o that was previously in an abusive relationship with another girl, and didn't say anything because everyone else they told laughed them off, which made them feel weak and insecure?

Tw: Abuse, Abuse mentions.

= The headcanons were placed under the cut for these reasons =

Here you go! I’m sorry if some of them got off topic because I kinda got too into it and started rambling- Also, if I said anything that is potentially offensive or romanticising of abuse, please let me know and I will remove it as soon as possible.

- Mod Ouma

Kaede Akamatsu:- Her talent is what caught your eye at first. - But…- You noticed that when you first met her, she had an incredibly calming aura around her. It reminded you of your ex- - It was terrifying. - You thought that Kaede might turn against you and start to hurt you if you got closer to her; so, you stayed away. - Kaede happened to notice this, she was saddened by it and asked around to see if anyone knew why this cute boy was so… scared of her. - She found out from Shuuichi, who had dealt with trying to get your ex charged with abuse, that you had been abused in your previous relationship and you tended to stay away from girls. - Eventually as you got closer to her, you opened up about what happened. - “Don’t worry if you think it’s stupid, most people just laugh it off saying men can’t be abused…”- Why would she find it stupid?- This is a serious issue. - From there she tread carefully around things that could potentially scare you, like sudden movements and yelling. - Kaede likes to play piano for you when your feeling panicked or scared.

Maki Harukawa:- Maki had caught you looking at her a few times. - She also noticed how you flinched and quickly looked away or down at your feet whenever you made eye contact. - At first, Maki wondered if you had caught the bad end of a rumour about her. - However, she found out about your situation when she over heard you and Rantarou talking about her. - Not in a mean way or anything like that… You were simply asking what her personality was like because you wanted to get to know her better. - You had said that you were scared of being hurt by another woman that you got close to. - Maki knew immediately what that meant. - Eventually she asked you to stay behind after class because she wanted to talk to you. - Cue the anxiety flooding your system. - She said that she didn’t mean to over hear your conversation with Rantarou but she’d like to get to know you better as well. - Over time, Maki learnt what had happened in more detail and she figured out what things to avoid doing until you were much more comfortable. - You also learnt that she’s nothing like the rumours said~

Kirumi Tojo:- Kirumi noticed first when she lightly placed her hand on your shoulder. - She observed that you flinched away and spoke in a shaky voice afterwards. - At first she thought that you were simply uncomfortable with being touched and so, she never touched you again without warning. - Sometimes, when Kirumi was talking to you, she noticed that you wouldn’t meet her eyes and whenever she would raise her hand to gesture, that you would flinch away. - She also noticed that you would never ask her to do anything. - Kirumi was concerned, so she sought out to ask you about what’s going on. - She sat you down and gave you a cup of tea and then sat down in front of you as she had to talk to you in the most suitable manner. - After she learnt what had happened, she vowed to not do anything to cause you distress. - It was like having someone who knew all the right things to do at all times. - But that’s to be expected of the ultimate maid.

Miu Iruma:- Miu’s personality absolutely terrified you at first. - The constant degradation on being a virgin and strange threats, if they could even be called that, were reminiscent for what your ex used to do. - But how should she know that. - She only realised how badly her words affected you when you started crying and then started to shake and cover your head while curling into a ball when she tried to call you out for being a “pussy virgin”. - Shuuichi has to take you away from her and take some time to calm you down. - Shuuichi asked you if it was okay to explain to Miu why she should be a bit more… careful around you. - You had said yes but he had to limit the information he gave to her. - Miu felt guilty, which she wasn’t used to. - Eventually she apologised and decided to make it up to you by showing you some of her inventions and try and get closer to you.

Tenko Chabashira:- Ummmmm… degenerate male?- Why are you crying?- Tenko wasn’t used to the males she threatened to throw across the room, to start crying. - You were there crouched on the floor mumbling “Please don’t hurt me” over and over again. - Tenko is very confused. - When you had finally calmed down, you had to lightly explain what had happened to you in the past. - Once Tenko’s childlike curiosity sated, she only occasionally accidentally called you a degenerate male. - Over time she became closer to you and you opened up more about what happened in the past.

Himiko Yumeno:- Himiko was pretty much the exact opposite of your ex. - There’s no way that Himiko would even lift a finger to anyone. - You had easily become friends with Himiko and felt that the closer you two became the more details that you would share about what had happened to you. - When she first found out what happened, she was shocked. - Nyeh?… Why would someone do that? - She was shocked and confused at the same time. - But, truly, as you got closer, you became much more comfortable with telling her everything. - Himiko didn’t really need to do anything to avoid causing you distress but if she did do anything wrong, she could tell and she would immediately apologise. - She even said once:- “I’ll remove all your bad memories with my magic… but that takes a lot of mp…”

Angie Yonaga:- Atua understands!- Angie does not- - Angie has a child like personality, her curiosity about what had happened was almost morbid in a way. - She was the exact opposite of your ex so explaining to her was a fairly easy task. - Despite the fact she then proceeded to question for the hour following your story. - Atua will protect you from now on! That’s what he tells me!- The amount of joy she presented was almost inappropriate. - Angie did then try and convince you to come pray with her so that you too could her Atua day that he would protect you. - You politely declined.

Tsumugi Shirogane:- Tsumugi resembled your ex in a way. - She holds great excitement when someone brings up her favourite hobby, cosplay. - It was the same with your ex, when ever she brought up her favourite hobby to you she could go on for hours. - But your ex was different, if you showed even a slight look of disinterest, she wouldn’t threat to hurt you. She would just straight up punch you in your abdomen. - So the moment Tsumugi started rambling about cosplay, she could see the forced fake interest on your face.- She stopped and asked if you were actually interested in what she was talking about.- You visibly flinched and breathed out a “No… Please don’t hurt me…”- Concern washed over Tsumugi’s face instantly, asking why she would hurt you for saying no.- Slowly but surely, you opened up about what had happened to you and how people had ridiculed you saying how “Men need to be interested in what their girl likes” and how some of the things she did reminded you of your ex. - This prompted Tsumugi to start rambling out apologies. - You told her that she had no reason to be sorry but you’d be interested in learning more about cosplay, but in small moderations.

#Mod Ouma #headcanons #Tw abuse #Tw abuse mention #Please if you have it blacklisted differently just let me know #kirumi tojo #kaede akamatsu #maki harukawa #tsumugi shirogane #himiko yumeno #angie yonaga #tenko chabashira #miu iruma #Male s/o #ndrv3 imagines

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twohearts-hs · 8 years ago

Text

Kiwi (Part 3) - Harry Styles Imagine

Words: 2,039

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of drugs and alcohol

Part 3 of ‘Kiwi’ - Part 1 - Part 2

Her life was on track, complete track, she was proud of it, she was far from the mistakes of the past. She realised that she was closer to her son’s first birthday, then her past with Harry, Scott, drugs and alcohol, and she kept that mindset.

Having a child was hard, they tell you that, you ignore it, and then you live it, and realise it is hard. But she worked through it all, she did what she did best, and just lived. She loved Noah more everyday, she took off time from work, and lived as a single mother, no father in his life, she raised him, and proud. He was too young to know what a father is, she just gained the love more from him, without someone there.

Noah was six months, a perfect mix between the two, Harry and (Y/N). But he was six months when a Styles member contacted her, it was casual, she found, it was not a anger message, but a simple check up. Gemma Styles called her on a Tuesday morning, and it took her by surprise. Of course she answered it, Gemma and her were like sisters back then, Gemma helped her through it all when Harry just left, and now her best friend was calling her, after not talking for years.

It was simple, a hello, and a how are you, just checking up and all. They told each other of their lives, and their jobs, especially, but she never mentioned Noah to her at all.

“Harry told me that you left him a message, about a pregnancy, light me up on it.” She simply asked, it was not nagging her or pressuring her, it was a simple topic question, that they should empower on.

“Yeah, I’m glad he has not contacted me, Noah is amazing, he is six months now, and he is just beautiful, I’m so proud to have him, he is just amazing. I’ll send you a picture, if you want, but he has these amazing green eyes, and he has brown hair, he is just beautiful, I feel complete, you know what I mean?” She replied, starting to feed him, placing him on her chest, feeding him, with the phone between her shoulder and ear.

The conversation went on, what she loved the most was that Gemma did not talk about if the baby is ok, can Harry come in, is she good and all, she loved that about Gemma, she never pressured you to say anything. But what took her by surprise is a question, “I’m in New York in a few months, mind if I pop by?” (Y/N) knew how to respond, she knew how to tell her that she is always welcomed, and she knew that Gemma respected her decision.

When Noah turned 8 months, she came over, she looked different from the high school version of Gemma, she aged, she became a beautiful young woman, she noted that she looked very independent. When she walked in, it felt like old times, having a glass of wine, talking about each other’s stories, while she held the little guy, she called him her nephew, which broke her heart.

“Look at Auntie Gemma, look at me, baby, awww, come one, smile!” She would say, it broke (Y/N)’s heart seeing her falling so in love with her baby, but having the father’s sister in his life, but not the father himself. But she told herself, if Harry wanted to be part of her life, he would find a way to get there.

It was late at night when her little boy was sleeping that they got into serious discussions. She always felt like she could talk to Gemma without it being awkward or embarrassing, so they talked deeper things.

“Is there any male individuals in his life?” The question was broke up, Gemma was taking sips of wine, and she helped herself to a cup of water, one glass of wine a day is all she needed. (Y/N) felt fine with the question to be honest.

“There are some, not a father figure, I don’t think he needs one at this point, but my two gay friends, Luca and Alex are helping me raise him a bit. They are a couple and love him to bits, they would come through my door with new ideas of outfits and they love taking him out, so there are males, but I don’t clarify them as his father. But, he does have male people in his life.” She simply said. Both of them sat on her patio, watching the city below themselves, the car honks and little chatter, it made her feel happy, in a way, to have Gemma back in her life.

“He wrote a song about you.” She said out of the blue, (Y/N) turned her head towards Gemma, giving her a questioning look.

“He thought the message was fake, so he wrote a song about you and the message. It is called ‘Kiwi’.” She said, looking at her, they both gave each other a blank expression.

“Of course he thought it was fake, I went through such a hard time, that I resulted to drinking and drugs, and he was just there, and I use to lie and shit, so of course he does not believe it, I don’t blame him.” She said, taking a sip from her water, Gemma still looking at her, not knowing what to say. She took her phone out and googled the song, listening to it. Gemma studied her expression, it was not showing a sign of anger nor embarrassment, she started to laugh.

“The song did sum me up pretty good, ‘Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect’, oh my, so true, and the chorus is what I sent to him in the voicemail. I went home to a cactus, true, my fucked up ex-husband, he is great at this songwriting, I always knew.” (Y/N) said after listening to the song, laughing, Gemma started to laugh with her.

The night ended well, Gemma went back to her hotel and the two of them said they would meet up again, one day, and she went on. She told Gemma everything that happened, and Gemma simply said, “I don’t blame you.”

Harry was in New York with Gemma, he was doing a promotion project with his new album that came out, while Gemma just wanted to tag along and visit some friends. But what he did not expect was a post on instagram of a child, when she was suppose to meet up with an old friend. He studied the picture then looked at the caption, “So glad to finally meet this little guy, he may look big and tough, but really is a sweetie. So proud of you @yourinstagram.”

He felt broken looking at that picture, it was true, he really has a baby in the world and he doubted it the whole time, and his sister was the first to meet him. He has a baby boy, has his eyes, but her hair, nose and lips, but the eyes were the exact to his, and he felt in love, and he has not even met him. He needs to see him, he wrote a song, thinking it was all a lie, but really it was not, so he did what he thought was right, he called his sister.

Gemma answered straight away, she was driving he took note, but he needed to talk to her about his son, and he needed to find a way to meet him. She started a conversation about a wine she had at her friend’s place, noting that she was to saying her name, and he had to stop her.

“Gemma I know you were at (Y/N)’s, I saw it on instagram.” He started. She started to ramble about how she knew how he felt about her, and the baby, but she had to find out.

“What is he like, what is his name? How is she, (Y/N), is she fine, is she ok with handling it all. Shit, Gem, I feel so bad that I never believed it. Fuck, Gemma, I have a kid, and I need to see him and—” Gemma stopped him, having enough of his self pity.

“He is beautiful, his name is Noah, Noah Alfie (Y/L/N) and he is an angel, he is so like you. He loves (Y/N) like no tomorrow, he would not let her go. But she is fine, she is on track with her life, she drank tonight, but she had half a glass of wine and called it a night for that, she just hit a rough patch and you were there to make her feel better. She went to rehab, and she is fine. I told her about your song, ‘Kiwi’, about her, she laughed, god, Harry, I miss her laugh.”

“I know me too, I need to see her again, she seems fine, she seems like herself once again.” He said, Gemma replied with a ‘yes, better than herself’ and just chatted since they have not seen each other all day.

It was two days later when he saw her again, she was at a café sitting by herself, with a baby on her lap, she smiled and giggled with him, and he fell in love all over again. He looked from afar not knowing what to do in that situation. She was clean cut, she wore a white blouse, and jeans, her hair was braided and she was smiling down at her little baby, their little baby. He wanted to see her, to hear her, and he wanted to hold him and to tell him that his daddy will protect him no matter what, because he was perfect already, he has not met his son yet and he knew already that he was perfect. So he watched, watched their actions, never once she went up to flirt, nor look at her phone, she placed all her attention on him, reading to him, playing and caring for him, while having a scone and a tea. She use to love having tea and scones in the morning, the mixture together, he remember. He remember she use to dunk them together and eat them, he remembers how much he loved her, so his feet took over and he slid in front of her, holding his cuppa.

“Hey!” She said smiling to him, it was not cold or anger, it was welcoming, it was like she forgot the past they had, he just waved.

“Did not know you were back?” She said, starting the conversation, he sat there for at least half a minute, and she only looked up twice, still placing her attention on her baby, who was now playing with her spoon.

“Yeah, I produced album and it’s out, so just doing promo. Look, (Y/N)—” He started, but he got interrupted.

“Do you want hold him?” She said, finally looking up for a long period of time towards him, he nodded, she went up and sat next to him, placing him in his arms.

“It was wrong for me to cut him out of your life, Harry, I’m really sorry. His name is Noah.” She said, still taking her distance at the seat, he looked over at her, she was smiling, she looked beautiful, he looked beautiful. He looked down at his baby, who was still hanging onto the spoon, he fell in love, with both of them.

“It’s fine, you were mad, I was mad, and we acted on it. I’m sorry too, (Y/N) for everything. I still love you, you know it, I’ll forever love you, because you just do this thing called existence that makes me go crazy for you.” He said looking at her, she smiled, pushing back a piece of hair, and giggled.

“I love you, too. How about we start from a fresh beginning, Hi, I’m (Y/N).” She started, placed her in front of him to shake, he smiled, placing his in front of him, shaking hers.

“I’m Harry.”

Finished the series, woohoo! Please request ideas, I love to hear them. But, thank you for all the great comments and likes, it really made my day and helped me continue this series.

Requests OPEN

Lots of love,

-Ava xx

#Harry Styles #harry edward styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagines #harry styles x reader #one direction #one direction oneshot #one direction imagines #one direction x reader #1d #Niall Horan #niall horan imagines #louis tomlinson #louis tomlinson imagines #liam payne #liam payne imagines #requested #imagines #xreader

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hit-me-with-a-ladle · 3 years ago

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Ch.10 of Creepypasta x Fem! Reader

Before even realising, the week had ended once more, perpetuating the endless cycle experienced day after day. Though not as severe as the previous, it was still very tiring in its own way. As the first day passed, Ben wanted to perceive her potential, making her brew something after every lesson and making sure the notes taken were comprehensive and correct. But what he failed to inform her was that the slightest miscalculation could end up in an explosion. The combining of two opposing substances ended up in a chain reaction that gave the girl burns and potential scars, their severity somewhat dulled by the elixir Ben would create after, but still very painful.

That week was strange, as Ben was inept at any social interaction. Struggling with reading the room and understanding others thoughts and feelings. Though he hated silence and many-a-time attempted to end it with a random ramble about a certain topic that would last hours at a time, tiering the poor girl forced to listen. His tendency for not understanding physical boundaries had begun to become a problem too, invading the girl's personal space at very unwanted times and always flashing that creepy smile whenever he saw her, making her tense up.

Though the perpetual cycle had begun to have a toll on her. Her body was on autopilot most of the day. Walking around and doing the same things as a robot. And the last day of the week hadn't been any different. She'd fallen asleep the previous night at exactly ten pm after launch and woke up the morning at around five-fifty six am, before her alarm. Getting up taking a shower, bandaging her wounds, getting dressed, and heading towards the stairs for a nutritious breakfast before she'd have to meet the new person sent there to train her. Toby had presumed.

Right as she was about to take her first step down the narrow wooden staircase she stopped in her tracks, looking back towards her bedroom door. Stepping back she walked towards it and walked in, looking around quickly before spotting the thing she was looking for. The necklace Ben gave her, she took it off the previous night and forgot to put it on. Quickly snatching it and clasping it around her neck and putting it under her jumpsuit she hurriedly ran downstairs, not wanting to be off schedule. She wasn't sure why she'd gone back to grab it, but something was telling her that it was special.

Looking at the clock she sighed, twenty minutes left before her training starts. Her thoughts were in shambles as she imagined what the new man was going to be like. A sadistic narcissist like Jack? An aggressive control freak like Masky? Or maybe, a blabbering creep like Ben? She wasn't ready to find out. But it was inevitable, no matter how much she wished she could leave, to get an end to this madness. But she didn't have to wonder for long as she heard light footsteps on the hard floor approaching her. Usually, she wouldn't have noticed something as minute as that but recently her senses have heightened significantly with the constant rushes of adrenaline her body had been going through to stay alive.

Gazing in its direction she finally saw the man, he looked to be around twenties years of age. He was of average height, around five-foot-seven or about hundred-and-seventy-three meters, a bit bigger than Ben. His mouth, covered with a black striped mask and a pair of orange-tinted goggles over his eyes. Bushy dark brown hair peeking out from the blue hood of his stained zip-up. The only feature visible was his pale almost grey skin that seemed cold as ice. Below the waist, he had two old hatchets harnessed on either side of his long baggy jeans, with his gloved hands firmly gripping both whiles staring at the girl. As he stood he would occasionally jerk or twitch to the side without warning. She gazed at him, confused by the sudden motions of his body.

Suddenly the man coughed, grabbing her attention and snapping her out of the daze that she was in. Shaking her head and apologizing immediately. He approached, now right in front of her.

" He-llo. I'm To-toby."

He stuttered as he stretched out his right hand at her. Swiftly grabbing his hand to shake it. The leather that collided with her skin was worn out and patchy.

" Hi." She retorted, trying to pull her hand away but he would let do. She could feel his flesh twitch underneath his thick glove. " So when are we going to begin training?"

She awkwardly addressed trying to soften the ever-growing tension. The man only nodded his head and softly huffed, finally letting go.

Glancing behind her shoulder, staring at the back door with a blank stare he pushed her aside and walked towards it. She was perplexed by him, not expecting such an act as a frown formed on her face. 'Who does he think he is? He didn't even answer my question. Jerk.' She thought, her eyebrows scrunching in irritation while going back to making herself breakfast.

"I'll wait for you to fin-finish outside. Be quic-k."

He said quietly as he stepped outside.

Sighing dramatically she began to eat, starting at the clock on the wall, counting down the seconds with dread. Eating had become a choir, her mouth always feeling dry. The food itself was bland too, devoid of odour and taste made the texture unbearable at times. But she didn't have much of a choice. It sometimes felt like eating sandpaper but she couldn't complain as it would only stir up a problem. Most of the food was meant to strengthen her body and make her more durable. Forcing down the last bite she got up but the dishes in the sink and went towards the back door with a black expression on her face.

Opening it up it made a loud creak, annoying the girl as she slammed it behind her, searching for the googled man. She assumed that he was in the armoured area of the forest. Remembering passing it while doing Maskys test, grumbling at the memory. Picking up her speed and running towards it she got there in about ten minutes. Abruptly stopping when she saw the back of his head, a sense of accomplishment washing over her when she realised that her judgment was right. As she was about to inform him of her arrival he swiftly turned around. His orange stained goggles reflect the sun's rays making them shine.

" Si-since you arrived, w-we should begin." He softly said as he reached for his hatchet and pointed to the middle of the small clearing. It was perfect for close-range combat, especially if what they were using were close-range weapons. It was specifically designed for the people training in them to be wary of their surroundings and to focus their movements. Small bumps and rocks were scattered to make it more of a challenge. Battered practise dummies were also present on the sides, some had throwing stars and objects logged on their body. A small shed was tucked in between two trees, made to store some of the weapons they practise with.

As he stood in the middle Toby walked up to the shed, shoving his hand in his pocket searching for something, suddenly pulling out a set of rusty keys and looking for the one that matched the shed's lock. Going inside he searched for something, the girl wasn't sure what as she wasn't able to even see him. After a minute, he finally walked out holding something in his hand. Approaching her he extended his gloved hand letting her see it, a small hunting knife. The blade sharpened to perfection as the thick mettle it was made out of shine in the light, encased in a large worn wooden handle, finger-like dents could be seen from previous use.

Taking it in her hands it fits almost perfectly, holding firmly she studied the mettle further. Just like Maskys pocket watch, there was a crossed-out circle on it; her face was now showed intrigue by the particular design.

" The b-blade you're hol-ding in your hand is o-one of the most impor-tant things you need to sur-survive. Not only is it used fo-for self-defence it's also used for ever-everyday tasks. For ex-example, cutting down vines and or carving th-ings into wooden sur-surfaces."

As he spoke he would occasionally twitch and jerk but he didn't seem distracted by it, already used to the constant random unwanted motions his body made.

The girl nodded her head, thoroughly listening to his every word said, she'd come to terms that if she expected to escape she had to use everything that they thought her to good use. Toby had started to show her different techniques of cutting and use of the knife, explaining the proper stance and movements. But the girl seemed to struggle, shuffling her feet trying to get the stance right. Toby rolled his eyes and went behind her, starting to fix her mistakes and instructing her while doing so. The girl could faintly feel his uneven breaths on her neck. He was noticeably rough with the way he grabbed her hands, fixing them in place. When he was satisfied he let go and went to the side to watch her work.

The silver blade shined as the light hit its clear surface, the girl quickly jabbing and slashing the tree she was told to work on, creating noticeable scratches as she did. At first, her movements were quite slow and sloppy, not being able to get the hang of the small weapon, but eventually, she got the hang of it, quickly gliding around the tree with pretty much no effort and slashing it with remarkable precision. Toby watched her every step, pleased by her sudden improvement.

"I th-think that should b-be enough." He said loudly, disturbing the girl from her trance. Making her quickly straighten up and look at him.

" I-i think yo-you learned the bas-basic, now le-lets see how you will do it hand-to-hand."

The girl nodded, approaching him without saying a word, blade in hand ready to use. Toby also didn't bother to say a word, only pulling out one of his hatchets and getting into a fighting stance, she quickly followed. Neither of them tried to attack at first, only scanning their opponent, anticipating their every move. A cold sweat started to form on the girl's back as panic slowly arose in her mind, the tension was unbearable, and she feared that it showed on her face, but even still she had to muster up the courage and finally strike first.

She leapt at the googled boy, attempting to slash him with her blade but he avoided it in the nick of time. He was quick to react as he soon tried to sweep her off her feet but she blocked his blow and sprang a bit away creating a small distance. He was the one to attack next, facking a strike with his hatchet to her head, quickly using his other hand to punch her in the jaw, making her stumble and slip. Going to her lever and attempting to strike her again, she was quick to block, using all the possible strength she had in her arms to protect herself. She managed to somehow push him off as she quickly tried to get up, but made one fatal mistake by averting her gaze from his, giving him the Milly-second of a chance to slash her upper thigh.

Screaming in agony she fell to her knees, quickly feeling her weight turned on her back and crashed on the ground, the impact causing the necklace around her neck to come out from the jumpsuit, catching Toby's attention. The bottle shined in the light and wasn't hard to spot, he approached her aching for, carefully kneeling to her lever. Her face was in a mix of emotions, ready to defend herself again at any moment, but as he extended his gloved hands what she didn't expect was for him to reach for the necklace.

He held the small thing in his hands, twisting it around to get a better look at what was contained inside of it.

"A-a protection ch-charm." He murmured, but the girl still managed to somewhat hear it.

Her face showed a mixture of confusion and distress. Moments ago he was trying to slice her throat and how she was softly gripping her necklace, not saying another word.

They stayed in that position for a few minutes, the tension in the air occasionally being broken by the googled man ticks.

" Did Ben gi-give you this?" He asked sternly, twisting the tiny bottle between his thumb and pointer finger as he held it in front of her face.

" Yeah" She only said, averting from his gaze. He scoffed harshly letting go of it and firmly standing up, taking a few steps away from her.

Shooting pain ran up her leg to her back as she tried to stand, quickly holding the wound on the back of her thigh, adding as much pressure as she could so the blood would stop pouring out. Toby did say a word only looking in her direction. The girl's thoughts were racing, anger and fear swirling all in the bat of rage. She has enough of this, recollecting her strength slowly she took a long breath in, subtly looking in her peripherals to spot where Toby was standing. And the moment she felt the adrenaline kick in like all those times before she leapt.

The pain didn't concern her anymore; she only wanted him to feel the same she felt. Tackling his feet, he let out a low yelp as he fell on his lower back, she then quickly acted by pulling out the second hatched holstered to his person and putting it to his neck. Heavy jagged breaths escaped her chapped lips as she stared at him with a wide eyes gaze, sweat coming out of every pour.

Shaking uncontrollably while firmly holding the hatchet to his neck. She whispered, "I win."

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simone-garnett · 7 years ago

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we can learn to love again

Title: we can learn to love again (just give me a reason) Pairing: snowells || snowharry Part: 1/? Word count: 11 760 out of 20k+ (sorry i couldn’t finish it in time. finals :/) Information: ‘the wedding date’ au.

Dedication: to serena - @reeseneseira - one of the most wonderful, greatest, loveliest people on this site and oh my gosh, you graduated without telling us!! Happy birthday you beautiful, stunning person. I wish you the greatest :D love ya <3

ao3 // ffn

It plagues him for weeks, the phone call he made. The contract he entered into. She seemed so sweet on the phone, a voice that could lull you into a sense of security. A voice you could fall in love with.

And he thinks that maybe men do; she only worked weekends and he was lucky that she was free when he needed her. It may have been fate and destiny, if he believed in such things, that the hour before he called her for a wedding in six weeks time, the person who had booked her for that very weekend cancelled. She had said so, rambling on, her voice so bubbly and joyful, a smile spreading across his face without him realising. They had paid her a significant amount, and she admitted she'd taken the next week off to relax. She bemoans that she wouldn't be able to spend that week as she'd hoped, resigned to spending the week at home, binging on Netflix. It is a gift from the heavens and he offers to pay for that week too if she'd spend it with him. He confesses that he'd been planning on telling them all she'd only be available for that weekend, but if she could just - She interrupts him, gushing her thanks as she accepts his offer. He can hear her smile as she tells him how excited she was, asking about the weather and what clothes she should pack.

Harry almost hates to cut her off, his secretary watching him outside his glass office door, her hand tapping her other wrist, an imaginary watch on. He raises his eyebrows, but she isn't afraid, only doing it back in response. He sighs, holding his hand out for five extra minutes. She huffs in response, eyes narrowing as she nods and returns to her desk.

"What do you want me to do with your plane ticket?"

The agitation rolls off of Harry; business class was nice, the room on the aeroplane spacious - but he couldn't feel constricted. He gets up, needing to go to the bathroom - fearful and expectant of her seat being filled when he returned. Splashing water on his face he mutters to himself of weakness and regret; he never should have done this. But it was Jesse getting married - Jesse who had been so worried about him, even before her engagement, Jesse who he had lied to, saying he had met a woman and that he was dating. Jesse who all but insisted he bring her along to the wedding so she could meet the woman who swept her father off of his feet.

The moment Harry Wells sees Caitlin Snow for the first time is something that will be permanently etched into his mind. She steals his breath without realising, without ever trying. It is pure beauty, the sunlight shining through the window beside her, the brilliant smile on her face as she jokes with the flight steward. It takes him a moment to compose himself, allowing himself that time of weakness, to just stop and stare. His shoulders slump and it doesn't make sense, he should be more nervous seeing her with him there, but she was relaxing him without trying.

He finally does make his way to her, pausing in the aisle, Caitlin turning to him immediately. "Hi, I'm - "

"Doctor Wells," she finishes, her gaze flickering over him, a small smile on her face, almost bashful. " I knew who you were before that. One doesn't work in the scientific fields and not know Harrison Wells. And I know, I researched you." She stills when she hears her own words, eyes owlish as she tries to explain. "I research all my clients, don't worry." And softer, "I've had some bad experiences with some that's all." And he didn't think his heart could feel again, not after just meeting the girl. But it breaks for her, the pain laced in her words tugging at his heartstrings. He wonders what he should do- take her hand, pat her on the shoulder? She seems so morose and he so awkward.

"Right," Harry says gruffly, clearing his throat. A change of topic would be ideal, he thinks. Distractions were always the best. "I was thinking we would need to create a backstory for how we met." Caitlin looks up at him, a weak smile of gratitude playing on her lips, eyes a little watery, and the flare of anger inside him wasn't something he was expecting, not at all. "I don't think saying you're an escort will convince my daughter we're serious." She laughs at that, so honest and pure, her head leaning back and her eyes shut, and he knows in that moment that he won't forget her, forget this. It takes him by surprise, the effort needed to control his wandering thoughts, to school his expression toward neutrality.

"I meant that you could say we met at work, I do have degrees in biochemistry and bioengineering, I'm sure we met at a conference and you came up to me, dazzled with my smile and wit." Her eyes are dancing as she speaks, a cheeky grin on her face as she teases him.

A bark of laughter leaves him, Harry shaking his head in response. "She wouldn't believe that. Not that your smile isn't dazzling," he backtracks, "but I'm not the type of person who approaches anyone." He fingers the spot where his wedding ring used to be, now empty and cold as he thinks about Tess once more, of how she would have wanted him to move on, years ago. Of how he couldn't, how he didn't. He doesn't realise that his face falls at the memories, eyes dimming at the memory of her. But Caitlin sees it, sees the smile fade from his face, the dimples that she had been admiring disappearing. And she wants them back, wants his smile back, wants his happiness back.

"Hey," she takes his hand, startling him out of his slump. "I get it." She pulls out her necklace, a ring hanging on the chain. "My fiance died in a fire, I didn't think I could ever move on from that." He watches her, watches how her eyes dim and fall, how she pulls herself away from him, his hand now cold as she lets go, linking her two hands together. "You have a great reputation Doctor Wells, I'm sure saying I approached you for some insight wouldn't be too much of a stretch of the imagination for your daughter." Caitlin can sense his anxiety, her eyes softening as she continues to watch him. "We met at a convention on genetic mutations and the potential of increasing body speeds; you gave a talk, I had some questions. We started emailing each other, grabbed dinner a few times, I asked you out, you accepted. How's that?"

"Yeah," he breathes. "That would be perfect."

"Great," she relaxes, tension seeping out of her, ducking her head as she catches his eye. She doesn't understand why she feels so flustered, looking down under his scrutiny, blue eyes shining as he watches her. The silence between them stretches, Caitlin biting her lower teeth as she searches for something to say. But she can't find words, can't think, not with his unwavering gaze on her. "Is - Is there something wrong?" she asks eventually, pushing a lock behind her ear, stealing a glance of him before looking back into her lap.

He lets out a breath. "I'm not going to lie, I thought you would be a bit older."

"Oh," and her cheeks darken. "Is my age going to be a problem? I usually have younger clients trying to get back at their exes getting married. I didn't think about my age." She shrugs. "Sorry?"

"Nah, it's fine." But his posture said otherwise. She can see the anxiety in his expression and so Caitlin reaches out, a comforting hand on his shoulder, a smile on her face as she tries to calm him. But he isn't meeting her gaze, staring outside the window, staring at the clouds in the sky.

"Are they really the type of people who would care about that?" she asks hesitantly, her nerves showing through the cracks of her confidence. "Because the way you talked about them," she pauses. "You can hear the love in your voice. And I don't think that's a one-sided thing."

He looks at her with that, truly looks at her. And what he sees is stunning.

"I think you should call me Harry," he says drily, a hint of a smirk on his lips. He hears her laugh again, the soothing tones washing over him. She tests it out on her tongue, smiling warmly as she repeats it until he starts chuckling at her antics. It's nice, he thinks, she sounds nice, an almost perfect fit to the dynamic he'll be returning to back home, one she'll be thrown into with him. "Okay," he interrupts. He doesn't realise just how large his smile is, how his eyes sparkle. How it has her faltering and her heart skipping a beat. "I think you've got the hang of it now."

"And what are you going to call me?" she asks in response, eyebrow arched.

He takes a second to respond, letting the word savour in his mouth. Her lips quirk into a smile, head tilting as the silence lengthens, confusion slipping into her expression. "Snow," he says finally. "I'll call you Snow."

The flight is relatively smooth, Caitlin falling asleep, a smile on her face as she rests. He doesn't know how she could do so, but then, he thinks, she wasn't the one who was lying to her family and friends. It would be a small thing, and she already knew so much about him from background checks. But it worries him, the greatest aspects of his life were the ones that she couldn't find on the internet - his desire for adventure, his love of his daughter. Caitlin was good, he acknowledged, picking up on his general disposition toward Ramon and to a lesser extent Allen (picking up on his affection even as he grumbles about them). She knows that he approves of Wally, knows it will be difficult giving his daughter away - the only family he had left.

(He had picked up on things too, the hitch of her breath as he mentions that these people are his family, the quiet sniffle as he talks about how much he wants his daughter to be happy on her special day. His fear that showing up alone will only worry her.)

But, he thinks, would it be enough?

The landing on the tarmac isn't smooth, and Harry worries that it would only a sign of things to come. There was a lingering fear, no matter how much she told him it would be fine, that it would change everything. And he wasn't sure whether he would be ready for whatever would come next. The rush of the crowd around them snaps him out of his thoughts, and he realises that Caitlin still hadn't risen from her slumber. Harry tries shaking Caitlin awake, allowing himself a fond smile as she brushes him away without ever opening her eyes, head rolling onto his shoulder, smiling as she readjusts herself to the new position. The passengers all rush to leave the plane, but he lets them wait a moment, giving her time before trying again. "Snow," he murmurs, softly at first, but louder when she ignores him.

She moans in reply, lifting her head off of his shoulders, stretching as she yawns. She blinks the tiredness from her eyes, gaze focussing on him. "I wouldn't wake up, huh?" He laughs, and the sound takes her by surprise, honesty ringing in the noise leaving his lips.

"Let's go," he replies instead, waiting for her to exit her seat before leaving with her, grabbing their overhead luggage and following her outside the plane. The wait for the rest of their luggage is relatively short and they make it through the checkouts without and real issues. They slide into a limousine, Caitlin unable to hide her surprise at the vehicle, nor the driver acknowledging him with a firm nod, barely responding to her presence.

The car trip is silent, which suits Caitlin perfectly, the woman watching the passing scenery, a hand put on Harry's left knee in what she hoped would be a soothing manner, given the constancy of the jostling of his leg. He stops immediately. She steals a glance at him, his lips pursed together, Harry looking forward, his eyes unblinking. She would have thought he would be excited to return home, to see them all but, judging from Harry's quickly changing attitude, he wasn't.

They pull up to a mansion, steel gates opening up as the car pulls into the driveway, parking near the entrance. She hops out, thanking the driver before bounding to the boot where their luggage was. But then she feels a strong grip on her forearm, Harry by her side, pulling her along, telling her over his shoulder that he would have people bring it in soon.

He rushes her into the house, unlocking the front door with his spare key and dragging Caitlin upstairs before she could have a word to anyone who may be in the house. The dinner would be in two hours and they needed to prepare themselves. He needed to prepare himself. She stumbles into his room after her, eyebrows raised as she looks at him disapprovingly. But he ignores her response, pacing across his bedroom floor, hand travelling a well worn path in his hair.

It feels so much more real now, having her in his room, preparing for tonight where she would meet his daughter.

"I don't think I can go through with this, I don't think we should go through with it at all." Caitlin stands still, watching him walk up and down, remaining silent as he watches the ground below his feet instead. "I can fake illness, jetlag. No, I can't leave you with them alone." He pauses, his head whipping towards her. Can you fake a sickness?" She pulls a face, not too impressed with his actions.

"No." She doesn't sound it either.

"I'm paying you aren't I?" It is a weak rebuttal, but firmly put, voice sharp as his eyes narrow.

"I'm not faking an illness because you got cold feet Harry," she snipes. Her spine straightens and her eyes are hard and yet still he persists, ignoring the warning signs down the path of his fall.

"Then what's the point of you if you won't listen to a thing I say?"

"You're paying me to be your fake girlfriend, not a slave," she hisses, storming of into the bathroom. The departure sends the winds out of his sails, Harrison sighing in defeat, sitting on the bed his head in his hands. He knows she is correct, knows he should apologise, but the idea of discussing the upcoming evening leaves him feeling out of sorts. He hears the water turn on, and knows that he has a small moment to pull himself together.

He doesn't budge, not until the water switches off, Caitlin humming off-key to herself behind the closed door. "Snow," he calls out, standing only centimetres in front of the door. His hand is raised, as if to knock, but he can't find the strength to commit, fearful she may just open the door so they have the conversation face-to-face.

She is standing in front of the sink, arms bracing on the sides of the vanity, knuckles turning white as she grips it tightly. She can barely recognise herself in the mirror, can't see the happy smiling girl from hours before, instead a picture of seriousness in its place. She can hear him behind the door, shuffling around, calling out her name. She wonders what would happen if she didn't respond. Would he continue to wait until she left the bathroom? Would he leave her be? Would he finally say what was on his mind? She doesn't wait long, Harry dropping the last name. "Caitlin I -" Her face softens at his struggle. "I'm sorry Caitlin, you didn't deserve that."

"It's okay Harry." And it was, but she couldn't face him, not yet. And so she injects enthusiasm into her voice and hopes that it soothes his nerves. Caitlin waits with bated breath, confused when she hears his hesitation to leave his place by the door.

"You don't have to lie to me Snow, I'm a genius but even I can screw up sometimes." She barks a laugh at his brash words, genuineness ringing in the syllables. It brings a smile to his lips and it's only then he walks away, slipping into his formal clothing before resting on his bed, hands behind his head as he leans against the headboard, eyes closing as he awaits her to finish preparing herself. He thinks he falls asleep for a moment, eyes fluttering closed until he hears a door open.

Her head sticks out from the door, hair still in curlers, face covered in green cream. "You go ahead." She finally says, cheeks red as she averts her gaze. He raises his brows, whether in response to her appearance or the clear embarrassment on her face he isn't quite sure. "Go," she urges before slipping back into the bathroom. He sighs, pursing his lips before he gets up off the bed and leaves the room. He tells the driver to wait for her, tells him the location of the gala before slipping into his own car and driving off. Anxiety eats at him - fear of his daughter's reaction to Caitlin, fear that his secret would be revealed. But he bites it back, forces it down as he lowers the top of his convertible, the breeze ruffling his hair.

His life was changing, he could feel it in his bones.

And he wasn't sure how it was going to all eventuate.

She enters the ballroom hesitantly, so alone without Harry by her side, whispering facts about the people. His presence had been a comfort, his eyes sparkling as he would talk about his daughter. It was a distraction from the knowledge that she would be at this event for longer than usual, surrounded by his closest friends and colleagues, all of them geniuses. The chances of slipping up were high, and the chances of them catching even the smallest mistake higher.

If Caitlin hopes to slip in unnoticed she fails to do so, descending the stairs, anxiety starting to rise up inside her. When she finally reaches the bottom there is a small woman striding towards her, the bride to be, her father nowhere in sight.

"So you're the lady my father won't stop talking about," Jesse exclaims with a smile, throwing her arms around her in greeting. Caitlin looks like a deer in headlights, awkwardly returning the hug, eyes searching for Harry who let a flicker of a smile through, approaching them quickly. He was nervous, and it showed terribly.

"I didn't realise you talked about me so much," Caitlin says over Jesse's shoulder, the younger woman not letting go. She raises her eyebrows and he looks pointedly at the back of his daughter's head as to not meet her gaze.

"I don't," he says drily, levelling a look at his daughter when she pulls away from Caitlin to greet him. She has a bashful look on her face, but it vanishes instantly, eyes lighting up as she sees the flicker of a smile on his lips. "hey Jesse," he whispers in her hair, eyes closing as he immerses himself in the embrace of his daughter. He feels peace washing over him, like an explorer finally making their way home, a comfort he would always crave no matter how far he roamed.

"Okay, not a lot. But you're smart and beautiful, and you make him laugh." The atmosphere shifts as she drops her gaze, eyes darting around. "And I don't get to see that very much now." Caitlin's eyes widen, a look of shock at the raw honesty. She schools her expression very easily, a soft smile on her face, almost adoring as she looks at him. It's unnerving, how well she appears to the world to be completely smitten with him, but he can see the cracks in the facade, the tightness in her lips, the excessive blinking when no one is paying attention. But he is.

"I'm sure he was exaggerating," Caitlin murmurs, biting the inside of her cheek.

Jesse pulls herself out of her father's arms, a sly look towards Caitlin and then back to him. Caitlin flushes at the look, a smile on her lips all the same. "I think I hear someone calling me, see you later." She winks at them, flouncing off into the crowd, leaving them both alone. Caitlin approaches Harry, taking his arm when he seemed unsure what she wanted, a silent laugh as he finally takes her arm back, pulling her close to his side. She leans closer, teasing him about how awkward he was with physical intimacy. His voice is gruff as he threatens to not help her blend in, refusing to identify the other friends she had known by name only. With so many people, colleagues and friends and distant relatives from both sides, it would be difficult to determine who was who. A slight elbow in his side is enough to have him groaning, rescinding the threat. She steals a glance to him, a softer smile on her lips as they manoeuvre their way through the crowds, Caitlin often stopping as Harry would talk to old family friends and workmates - Jesse had grown up at his labs, and they had all taken her under their wings as she expressed her interest in every field she was exposed to. They laugh over memories, mourn the speed of life. It is a different side to Harry, Caitlin observes - he is so open, his love for Jesse pouring out of him. He loves so strongly she notes, so wholeheartedly. And yet he was so alone, had been for so long. And against her reason she feels her heart pang in sorrow for him.

At her touch he startles, confusion hazing his gaze until he remembers just why she was here. The smile on his face is easy as he puts an arm around her. But even with action, his hold is still, a distance too large to be natural between them. They move on eventually, wandering through the crowds, Caitlin's eyes fluttering across the multitudes of people. She leans into him subconsciously, stopping when his hand around her waist flexes in response. She steals a look at him, but she is caught like a thief and much like a thief she is punished, Harry dropping his hand around her to adjust his glasses, arm falling to his side. Caitlin finds herself missing his touch.

He sighs and she isn't sure if it's in relief or exasperation. She thinks its a mixture of both as they approach a crowd of young people. He whispers in her ear their names, Cisco and Iris and Barry and Wally. She slips her hand into his, more for comfort than the facade, Caitlin reciting the facts on them in her mind.

There is a silence when the group catch sight of the couple and Harry stiffens at the looks on their faces. It drags on, disbelief and shock written across their expressions.

"I didn't think you were serious when you said you had a date," Cisco says finally. "Didn't think anyone would be crazy enough to voluntarily spend time with you." He cracks a grin, "I stand correctly."

"Ramon," Harry says, a tight smile on his face. "Shut. Up." It is instinctual, the soft elbow in his side as she turns to him, her lips pursed, disapproval evident. Laughter erupts around them and she feels herself go red as she realises just what she did. She ducks her head, flickering to his face, afraid of his reaction. But she sees a smirk, amusement making his eyes dance, and she feels herself relax, smiling back at him.

Iris coos over how cute they are until Caitlin flushes, pulling herself closer to Harry's hold, resisting the urge to bury her face in his chest. She compromises by resting her head on his shoulder, causing them all to tease her all the more. "Are you sure you didn't pay her?" Barry laughs, and Harry tenses under her touch.

"Maybe I found men my age a little too immature." The connotations of her words were not at all hidden, Iris and Cisco unable to stifle their laughter as Barry pauses, ears going red as he processes her words. He pouts, ignoring his girlfriend as she tries to placate him, Iris throwing Caitlin a wicked smile as she leads him away. Harry relaxes after that, his gaze lingering on the woman holding his hand, her head tilted back in laughter at something Cisco said. She's clearly a consummate actress, if that indicated anything, but she was beautiful and not even she could fake the kindness that shone in her eyes, the beauty of the soul.

He still needs some guidance from Caitlin, the woman taking initiative, pulling his arm around her waist, entwining their fingers. It wasn't much, subtle hints to the world that they were together, but nothing that should make him uncomfortable.

Which is why he couldn't find a reason for why he was escaping.

He finds himself on the balcony, overlooking the landscape, focussing on the skies, on the stars painted on the inky black canvass that was the sky.

"Hey." He doesn't flinch at her presence behind him, doesn't acknowledge her as she leans on the barricade with him. "It's beautiful out here. The stars," she pauses, a long exhale leaving her, almost wistful as she continues to marvel at the creation around them. "They're missing you, you know. Jesse won't say anything, but she keeps turning her head to find you in the crowd." She stops beside him, hands resting on the rail, a hairbreadth away from his own. But she doesn't look to him, not yet.

"I'm sorry." It tumbles out without permission; his head drooping as he says the words that had been on his mind.

"For what?" She sounds genuinely confused, brows furrowing as she turns to face him, gaze scrutinising as she watches his every flicker and tick.

"About this afternoon."

"That's not what you're apologising for." She is astute, he notices. He grins despite himself.

"Okay true," he concedes. "But I - I haven't really been the greatest fake boyfriend in the world, not with the awkwardness." She hums in agreement, but the weight of her gaze makes him feel like she's waiting for more. "I'm not making your job any easier," he adds, "especially by doing what I did this afternoon. You're helping me and I'm not really helping myself." She grins at his words, turning to look at him, the distance between them extending at the move. He isn't quite sure how he feels about that. And he certainly isn't sure why it is such a big thing for him to notice.

"Well you're forgiven." Her eyes seem to smile at him, moonlight shining at the sight leaves his mouth dry. "We still have a while before they actually get married, I don’t think it would be a good idea to hate each other for the whole trip." He manages to huff out a laugh, eyes flickering over her as she continues to watch him. "That does mean you can't seem so scared every time I touch you."

"It's ah," he stumbles over his words, unsure whether he should be telling her anything at all. "It's been a while since I've had anyone. After Jesse's mother died..." He drifts off, head jerking up as he feels her hand on his, the intensity of her gaze burning through to his soul. He thinks about how difficult it was to fall in love after his wife, his fear of opening up to another only to have her taken away once more crippling the possibility of ever meeting someone. "I had Jesse," he says instead, "I had my daughter and my work and I didn't need anyone else." She squeezes the top of his hand, and he shifts it so he could hold it more easily, his thumb brushing over her knuckles. He stares absentminded at the movement, hypnotised, as though it were not him that was doing it. "I'll try and be better."

"We should probably go back then," she suggests.

But he doesn't want to, doesn't want her to either. He thinks that in other circumstances that thought might scare him, but in that moment all he feels is peace. "You go," he responds, "I think I'll stay out here for a bit longer."

"Come on back," she takes a step closer, head tilted up to look him in the eyes. he holds her gaze, only breaking it once, a flicker down to her lips, so fast she wouldn't notice. it's not the first time he would admit she was a beautiful lady, but it's the first time he really thought about it.

"I don't think I ever told you about how beautiful you look tonight." he distracts with. She flushes in response, a smile on her face as she watches him through her lashes. "You do," he leans closer to her. "Absolutely remarkable." His hands glide over her forearm, the hairs on her skin rising at the touch. Her pulse quickens, and he can see it in the gentle moonlight, gaze sliding from the side of her neck to her darkened eyes, mouth slightly parted. He affects her. But she just as easily affects him.

His hands find her neck, thumb brushing over her pulse point, the frequent throb has his heart pausing for a moment. He thinks he should walk away, thinks he should stop the growing fondness he has for her. He can't. He leans closer.

Cisco clears his throat, bouncing on the balls of his feet, a chesire grin on his face as they jump apart, Harry glaring at the intruder.

"Party's in here guys." Cisco smirks at them, turning on his heel, whistling to himself. They go red, trailing behind him as they return to the friends they had left behind. But there is a change, and Harry does make an effort, his hands always brushing against her lower back, pressing against it at times. It leaves Caitlin flustered the first time he does it, Caitlin stopping mid-sentence to meet his gaze. The others laugh, but she smiles, a step closer to him, the hand falling on her waist instead. He presses a kiss against her temple as she continues to regale a story to them, Harry focussing more on the gentleness of her voice and the softness of her body than the words coming from her mouth. He tries to seem in love with her.

(He thinks that the acting may come a little too easy for him).

"So Caitlin," Iris starts. "Tell us how you met Harry and swept him off his feet."

He huffs, letting go of Caitlin to cross his arms over his chest. "And why do you think she asked me instead of the reverse?" He glared as they all laughed at his words, turning it towards Caitlin as she pats him consolingly on the shoulder before softening.

"Well did you?" she asks, laughing as he turns his head from the group, grumbling to himself. "Is that a no?" Iris teases, eyes sparkling as she watches Caitlin nod.

"I was at a conference, he was there. I took him out to to coffee to pick his brain for a bit and we just hit it off."

"You hit it off?" Wally interrupts sceptically, smiling innocently as Harry threw him a withering glare.

"Okay fine, he was a little prickly. A lot prickly," she amends, biting back her smile. "But he was smart and I admired his intelligence. And he isn't that bad to look at." Caitlin winks at him, playful laughter leaving her mouth and he finds himself responding in kind, a smile on his lips.

"So wait -" Jesse interrupts, wrinkling her nose at Caitlin's previous words. "You actually enjoy his science babble? Like - you really enjoy it?" There is mock disbelief in the girl's tone, and Caitlin finds herself laughing at it.

"Given I have 2 doctorates and a PhD, I'm sure I'm just as guilty as he is when it comes to science babble." They look at her, a mixture of awe and admiration.

"Okay come on," Cisco cries. "You cannot be that perfect. It's not fair to the rest of us. Intelligent like me, patience of a saint if you're dealing with him."

"Okay you got me," she sighs dramatically, "I'm a serial killer." They all turn to her, some scrutinising, other's in disbelief. One fearful. "My name is Killer Frost and I feed off other people to live." She shrugs, "and maybe just for fun too."

"Ha ha," Cisco mutters sarcastically, his lips twitching with a smile wanting to be released. "You're hilarious. A real comedian. You guys really are soulmate's."

“Well,” Jesse interrupts, a smile on her face. “You’re going to fit in well here. Just a bunch of nerds geeking out over science a lot.”

“Hey!” Iris jokes, “I resent that.” Jesse shrugs unapologetically, and Barry presses butterfly kisses across her cheek and forehead in recompense. It's a distraction neither of them complain about, Jesse and Caitlin discussing biochemistry, Harry and to an extent Cisco chipping in. It then diverges, Jesse and Caitlin talking far too advance for the boys to keep up with, Cisco and Harry finalising the younger man's transition to STAR Labs in a few months. But then there is a lull, the group of them unsure how the dynamic works with an extra person asses in the mix.

"So," Cisco starts, a smirk plastered on his face as he eyes the couple. "How is the old man with romance? Didn't think he had a romantic bone in his body."

"Oh there are small things," she blushes, stealing a quick glance at him. "He does pay attention, he studied some biochemistry just so that he could keep up with my conversations. And if I'm ever kidnapped by a telepathic gorilla, he's offered to rescue me, so that's good." They laugh and his eyes twinkle in amusement, a look shared between the pair of them. She doesn't look away as she continues, a bashful smile on her lips as the words come out. "He may have seduced me with science, but I fell in love with his heart, his dedication. There is nothing he won’t do for those he loves. And I don't regret a thing."

He pulls her against his side, a kiss against the side of her temple, lingering as his eyes close. Harry knows it is fake, that he is paying her for every word, but for a quick moment he pretends that it is real, that there is someone that feels that way for him. He hadn't felt such a longing for it in a long, long time, but it had returned with a vengeance, striking him in the heart. And he refuses to acknowledge the part of him which desires it to be her.

He tries to ignore it the entire night.

He fails.

They go home, awkward as Jesse sits in the back seat, rambling on about the upcoming wedding, pestering Caitlin about details of her father outside of home life. Caitlin answers as vague as she can, using whatever information she had gathered before hand. Jesse seems satisfied and exhausted, nodding off as Caitlin explained the details of their first date, fake as it was, with a smile on her face, fondness in her voice as she talked of renting a observatory, dinner beneath the stars.

They arrive at Jesse's apartment, Harry unbuckling himself to open her door, nudging her awake. There is such a tenderness in his movements, the soft whisper of Jesse's name on his lips, the gentle hand on her shoulder as he attempt to rouse her, it feels like she is intruding on a personal moment and Caitlin averts her eyes in guilt for watching. Jesse does wake up, confusion in her voice when she questions where they are.

"Your apartment." His tiredness leaks into his voice, a little rough as he snaps at her.

"No" she moans, her eyes drooping closed as she shakes her head. "We thought it'd be cute to not share an apartment until we get married. I've been living in your house for a month now." She grumbles silently to herself, crossing her arms and pouting. "I thought you would have noticed my stuff in the house. And the fact you actually have edible food in the fridge."

Harry looks at her in disbelief, unable to turn to Caitlin, afraid of her reaction. The plan had been to move Caitlin into Jesse's old room while they were going through with the charade, her things were only to remain in Harry's room until the engagement party had finished. He didn't want to turn his mind to what this would mean for them. The tension is thick when he returns to the driver's seat, not that Jesse notices, the girl falling back to sleep. There is a rigidness in Caitlin's frame that he had never seen before. It worries him. The drive there is far too quick, Jesse jumping out of the car as soon as she wakes up, Caitlin and Harry leaving it far more reluctantly. They drag their feet into the house, watching the younger girl run up the stairs.

"You can take the bed," Harry mutters, cursing their luck. "I think I'll take the other spare." And he moves to do so, grabbing blankets and spare pillows. Caitlin hovers over his side, wringing her fingers as he prepares for bed. She follows him around, waiting by the bedroom door as he slips in, changing from his suit into some pajamas. She jumps as the door opens beside her, eyes averted as he wanders out, pants hanging low and chest bare. "All yours," he sighs, moving his glasses so that he could rub his eyes, dragging his feet as he moves passed his room to the other bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Jesse's sleepy voice rings out, startling them both as she wanders up the stairs, a cup of milk in her hands.

"I was going to sleep."

"Where exactly? Why aren't you both in his room." The assumption awakens them more than her sudden appearance, Harry's heart like a jackhammer in his chest, and he would have sworn Jesse could hear it, the girl looking at him strangely, brows furrowing as she continues to stare.

"Oh no no no." Caitlin sputters, "we don't - it's not like that. I -"

"You guys don't need to lie to me," Jesse teases, wrinkling her nose in mock disgust. "I know what adults do when they’re in love. I don't care as long as I don’t hear you." Caitlin turns a healthy red at the implications of her words, and Harry raises an eyebrow, at a loss for words. " 'kay good night you guys." Jesse presses a kiss on his cheek and waves goodbye to Caitlin, leaving them both in front of his door.

Her eyes flirt around the hallway, unable to meet his own. He huffs in annoyance before tugging her inside, cursing his daughter and her meddling habits. Caitlin grabs her clothes and locks herself in the bathroom, hesitantly approaching the bed. "We can share a bed, that's completely fine. Yep." He laughs at her nerves, no shame in his expression as she glares at him, slipping underneath the blankets.

That silences him, and they lay there, awkward and unsure how to proceed.

"Tell me about yourself." His voice startles her, but he sounds no less lucid than she feels.

"What are you looking for?" she asks. "You know everything about my education, where I grew up."

He hums in reply. "Tell me something you don't tell your other clients then."

There is silence, and he thinks that maybe she had elected to ignore him. He moves to roll over when she breaks through the silence. "I was engaged once. His name was Ronnie." Her voice was strained and it eats up at him, the pain far too much for what was supposed to be a light conversation. "He died in a fire accident," her breath hitches. "He was only there because I really wanted to have our wedding there. He went to scout the place for me, and he didn't know how to not help the other people inside when it lit on fire." A sound suspiciously like a sniffle echoes through the room. Neither of them acknowledge it. "They found his body lost in the burnt rubble."

He is lost for words. A thought flutters through his mind, of pulling her close, into his chest. Of whispering comforting words into her hair. The thought scares him. "I'm sorry." He looks for more words, remembering how he hated those particular one's when his wife left. "But what's most important is who we become when we lose those we love. And you're a beautiful person Caitlin, never forget that." He watches her in the darkness, her shoulders shaking slightly. "I - I shouldn't have said anything."

She turns to him quickly. He can see the tear streaks down her face, hands itching to wipe them away, to wrap themselves around her and pull her to his chest. It scares him how much he feels, how fiercely he wants to protect her. Whether it be from her own pain, or something as ridiculous as a telepathic gorilla. "No, don't do that." She wipes away her own tears, and her movements are bewitching, stealing his attention, his thoughts away from his control. "Please don't apologise. It’s true. And I’ve moved on,” a wet snort leaves her mouth. “I swear I have.”

"Why did you choose this?" She laughs at his sudden change in topic; it was watery and thick with tears. It was beautiful. "Surely you would prefer spending all your time studying genetic anomalies and the effects of the metaphysical world."

"Oh I do," her eyes light up. "And I can't imagine doing anything different. But those degrees are expensive," she shrugs. "It's a good way to pay off my debt - I get paid a lot, I choose my hours. I set guidelines." She cocks her head, digging it more firmly into the pillow. "What about you? Why are you doing this?"

And he doesn't know what it is about this woman in his bed, about the darkness of night that makes him forget consequences. "Jesse's mother died years ago, god so many years ago. Time blurs after a while, and I was fine without all of -" he struggles for a words. "Without this. But Jesse, she doesn't get it." He sighs. "She worries about me, she thinks that I'm alive, but I'm not living."

"You must really love her to do that." His gaze is piercing, and she wonders if facing him was a terrible mistake. "You care about the opinions of very few people. And even then, not enough to do this."

"Yeah, well, she's the only thing I care about." It saddens him to hear the words out loud; he had accepted that truth long ago, his work and his daughter all he ever thought about, but hearing, seeing the reaction on her face at his words, the way it falls - it makes him think that maybe he was missing out. But she had youth on her side, a future. He didn't have access to that.

"And she loves you too." She smiles at him and he finds himself reciprocating. "I'm good at my job because I can read people, and that girl - there is no one she loves more than you." She dimples at him, "Maybe Wally though." He growls playfully at her, tickling her until there was a bang on the wall, Caitlin muffling her laughter with her hand as he cracks a wide smile, before yawning. It is a pleasant shift in the atmosphere from before, and he feels lighter. "They all love you, you know that right?" And she sees something in his expression, she must, because the smile fades, a more sombre expression taking its place. "You love them and they love you," a beat, then a whisper. "I want that." She shifts onto her back, not able to face him any more, the words out in the open. It takes him aback, Harry watching her silhouette, her struggle to retain her composure.

"You will," he rasps, and god he had never wanted to be more right in his life. "Look how much they care for you already, you won them over in one night. Of course you'll find it easily."

She laughs sharply. "They like who you paid me to be."

"Aren't you being yourself?"

"I'm being your girlfriend. That's the title and the only thing they care about. That i'm smart enough for you, that i'm kind enough, that I'll make you happy... and after this wedding, we'll both go back and I'll never see any of you all again anyway." Her words are like a vice around his heart, squeezing it tightly.

"Snow," He whispers into the air helplessly, lost.

"Maybe I'm not meant to be happy." And he can't stand it, can't stand those words, can't stand hearing them from her lips, can't stand the idea that she would believe. He takes her hand, the only thing he could think of to show his support for her. She turns her head to face him again. There are no tears this time, but the sadness still shining in her eyes. "No one's watching" she teases, "you don't have to pretend to be my doting boyfriend." He squeezes her hands at her words. She squeezes back.

"I don't care."

He wakes up with his face in her hair, his arm around her waist. He wakes up happy.

He's hesitant to properly wake at all.

They all go out for coffee the next day, Iris' glowing recommendation of a bistro called CC Jitters leaving her excited at the thought. "Don't you think you should cut down on your coffee intake," Harry whispers in her ear as the group stroll down the footpath to the place. Caitlin has to force herself to remain calm, even as his hand on her waist burns through her clothing, his thumb running small circles against her hipbone. She turns her head at his comment, eyebrow arched as he maintains eye contract, refusing to back down, not even from this.

"No."

The group watch them with large smiles, Jesse taking photos on her phone, hiding it with a laugh as Harry left Caitlin's side to lunge for it. She feels a little lost without him by her side, exposed to the others. But then Cisco sidles by her side, asking about her work at Mercury Labs. It's nice to talk about her work with someone who was excited to hear about it, the man almost skipping as she laughs about synthetic genetic mutations and the potential of 'metahumans' with him. She almost forgets that she'd only met him yesterday, the pair of them shooting off ideas with each other, Caitlin promising to get him in touch with Felicity, a technical whiz she was best friends with, the hacker most definitely willing to help Cisco with his own skills. Her cheeks ache from smiling and laughing, Cisco turning his warm eyes and bright smile to her as he asks if he could steal her away from Harry, denials and confessions of devotion to Harry on her tongue. Cisco clicks his tongue and snaps his fingers, a cheeky grin on his face as Harry turns to watch them, a scrutinising look as his gaze flickers between the two of them, distracted from the conversation with Jesse.

They enter the small coffee place, heading for the largest booth they had available, Iris waving her friend over so they could all order together. They all order promptly, Caitlin glaring at Harry as he tuts quietly under his breath. They all order but Cisco, the young man stuttering at the waitress' presence, Iris introducing Kendra to Cisco, her voice low and teasing and thick with innuendo. He takes his time, twirling a lock on his left index finger, biting his bottom lip as he scans the menu.

"I’d like one tall mocha please," Cisco orders, a smirk on his face as he winks at her. His confidence fades however, when she pauses, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "No, no, no. that wasn't a pick up line, I really do want a mocha, not you." He winces at the choice of words, completely missing the beginnings of a smile on her lips. "Not that I don't want you either. I mean, you're beautiful and you have a great smile but I really do just want the drink."

"Alright then." And Kendra walks away, smiling to herself.

"Gosh, guys you could have stopped that at any time," he bemoans leaning back against the support of the chair, eyes closed and head facing heavenward as he prays for those last moments to be reversed, for someone to run back through time and give him the opportunity to start their conversation over.

"And miss you squirm like that Ramon? Never," Harry laughs, a deep rich tone that had Caitlin sitting up straight, her insides melting at its smoothness.

"You live here Cisco, you're going to face her every day if you want your caffeine fix." Iris grins, her coffee buddy moaning at her words.

"Oh gosh," he whimpers, the realisation striking him. "Kill me now."

"Gladly Ramon," Harry snaps, "the world would be a much quieter place."

"I can perform a lobotomy," Caitlin hisses under her breath, a challenge sparkling in her eyes. "That might help you."

Cisco pouts, arms crossed as Harry barks out a laugh, the arm around Caitlin's shoulder pulling her closer against his side. "I'm not sure I'm going to like you anymore."

"I like her," Jesse nods, eyeing them with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"So do I and since I'm the only opinion that matters here..." He tugs her closer to him, his arm around her shoulder tightening until she gives in, leaning against his side, looking up at him with a beaming smile on her face. He looks down, meeting her gaze, a reciprocal smile on his own.

"Good," she murmurs softly. "Because I really like you too."

It is Cisco who gets the last laugh, crowing over them when he finds on his napkin her name and number.

They can't all spend the entire day together, Iris and Barry heading off to work and then date-night after, Cisco pouting that he'd be the fifth wheel with everyone. Caitlin tries to comfort him, a strange affinity with the man, telling him to stay. But he laughs off her attempts, telling her about his lab and the inventions he worked on in his spare time. He invites her and she briefly considers saying yes, stealing a look at Harry while contemplating it. And she catches sight of him, blue eyes twinkling as he watches Jesse in adoration, Jesse unaware her father was watching her, Harry unaware of his date watching him. He's an attractive man, she can't deny that, but his intelligence, his fierce love of those close to him, it was a small piece of perfection in human form. She must linger for too long because Cisco only gets her attention back by laughing, the sound startling her back into looking at him. The mock gagging is a bit much, but the accompanying smile as he tells her to stay with the love of her life is enough to have her beaming back towards him. She tells herself later on it is because that means they were convincing, but that isn't enough to explain the butterflies in her stomach at the thought of them ever being together.

They have a double date of sorts, Harry driving them out into parkland, eyes twinkling as he pulls out a picnic basket from the boot of his car. Jesse runs to him, throwing her arms around his neck, squealing in his ear as she thanks him over and over for the surprise. He grins at her embrace, returning it, his eyes closing as he basks in one of the joy of the moment.

Caitlin stands off to the side, watching as they pull away, teasing whispers exchanged, Wally joining in. She doesn't know what to do, smiling awkwardly as he gazes over his daughter's shoulder, catching her eye. Goosebumps erupt across her arm as she watches him disentangle himself from them, a soft look in his eye as he approaches her. It is a casual stroll, his hands in his jean pockets, wind blowing his hair around.

She laughs as he finally stands before her, Caitlin's hands raising, running through his hair, attempting to straighten it out. Her smile is like sunshine, and she is so distracted by attempting to control his hair she doesn't notice the shift, not until her eyes drop, catching his own. Caitlin's hands still, her breath hitches. His nostrils flare as he tries to control his breathing, light blue eyes no longer like a clear sky but a stormy sea.

"Harry?" It's like a question, her eyes searching his. And she isn't sure of the answer, Harry shutting his eyes tight, jaw clenched, tendons in his cheek moving underneath his skin.

It's' beautiful, she thinks, her hand drifting from the top of his head to the side of his face, stroking the muscles beneath her fingers. It is enough to trigger a reaction, eyes opening, flaring as she continues."Snow." It's a guttural sound, a plea, torn from the deepest part of his soul. She isn't quite sure what he's asking, with his tortured voice and burning eyes. She leans closer, pulled by an invisible force, lead by something she couldn't control. She could see the flecks in his eyes, could see the lines in his skin, could feel the hot puffs of air. Just a little closer and she -

"I could cut the sexual tension here with a knife." They jump apart at Jesse's voice, her grin wide, their faces sheepish. "You guys don't have to stop on my account," she teases, laughing at his grumbles. Caitlin pouts as he pulls away, opening the boot and grabbing the picnic supplies. She stares wistfully at him, confused by her feelings, unsure of what she should be doing - drawing closer or running further away.

"Alright, let's go." It is brisk and he is already ahead of them all. She doesn't move for a moment, brows furrowed as she watches him march off determinedly. They were supposed to be a couple, they were supposed to at least try and pretend, but the signals she's getting are confusing to her - she can't imagine how they'd be to the others. She starts as she feels an arm slide into her.

"Sorry, I forget how difficult it is for him to show emotions sometimes."

Caitlin huffs; it wasn't supposed to be blatantly obvious to the others and yet. "I thought he would be more relaxed around you guys."

Jesse snorts, arm tightening around Caitlin's, tugging her closer. "I think he'd be worse." At Caitlin's look, she elaborates. "He's worried about our reaction. Which is ridiculous, but also, he struggles to express himself sometimes. When he's around strangers - who cares because he'll never see them again and well," she purses her lips, "I don't think they matter that much. Us though, we all mean the world to him whether he'll admit it or not." Jesse throws Caitlin a smile. "We all love you, but he's just worried. Don't worry, he'll loosen up soon. And when he does -" she rolls her eyes, cheeks aching from smiling so hard. "- Heaven help us."

"How can you be so sure?" Caitlin doesn't know why her voice comes out so small, a small quiver in her tone.

"You would have thought he hated Cisco when I first saw them together." At Caitlin's look, Jesse snickers. "Okay, fine. But it was a lot worse I swear. Caitlin listen to me." And she stops, holding Caitlin back. She struggles against her instincts to avert her eyes, fearful of what Jesse would see. But all Caitlin can see is honesty shining in Jesse's eyes, guilt welling up inside her. "He will soften up in front of us, don't worry. He's not ashamed I swear. Don't give up on him. Please." There is an intensity in her voice that makes Caitlin pause, something bubbling up inside her.

"I won't, I swear." She smiles at Jesse, the pair of them starting to walk again. "I think I'm just going to..." She drifts off, her eyes settling on his frame, her teeth tugging her bottom lip. Jesse eyes her, a sly smile on her lips as she lets go of Caitlin's arm, nudging her forward, an encouraging smile slipping on her face as she catches Caitlin's uncertainty. And she takes the moment in her grasp, striding forward, her steps faltering as she is by his side. He doesn't look at her, not for a while. But then she hears a sigh, eyes flickering to Harry as she hears rustling, eyes caught by the movement of him swapping the picnic basket from the hand between them to the hand on the outside. Her bottom lip is tender from the constant biting, and it's still caught between her teeth as she smiles at him, Harry's lips twitching as a shadow of a smile crosses his mouth. But it's enough for her, Caitlin turning ahead to watch the scenery. His hand sliding into her's is a delightful surprise, stealing her attention, even as he looks determinedly ahead.

She entwines their fingers, a giggle escaping her as she swings their hands around. He lets her do it, an amused expression on his face as he watches her light up at the action. There is someone playing the strings of his heart, and he feels like it's her, whether she realises it, whether he's allowed it, she has the power over him. And the idea will terrify him later on, but now.. now he will enjoy every blessed moment. She calms down after a few minutes, drifting closer to his side. "We're almost there," he murmurs, gaze fluttering around.

She lifts their hands, a kiss pressed against his knuckles. She smiles against his hand, Caitlin mouthing words at him. He can't understand them however, he can barely think outside the chaos of his mind, the thunderous beating of his heart. He wants to stop walking, wants to steal her away from the prying eyes of his daughter and her fiance, wants to ask for answers, demanding to know how she could affect him so much. But he does none of those things, only quirking an eyebrow at her, hoping that he would seem composed when he was anything but.

"They're watching," she whispers, and god, if it isn't a blow to his stomach.

He clears his throat, tearing his eyes away from hers, afraid of what might be shining inside them. "Yes, of course."

She throws him a confused glance, one he doesn't respond to. Harry doesn't let go of her hand, the warmth of her palms seeping through his skin and wrapping itself around his heart, but he isn't as relaxed as before, muscles taut as he picks up his speed, almost dragging her along.

They reach their destination quickly, Harry dropping Caitlin's hand as though it were burning, busying himself with pulling out the picnic blanket and setting it all up. She offers to help, but he brushes her aside, barely a glance as he tells her to keep the other's company. There are words on the tip of her tongue which would sound suspiciously like 'I want to keep you company' if they were to come out, but they don't, Caitlin huffing at his antics and crossing her arms across her chest while Jesse and Wally meander their way up the path.

But soon the tension dissipates, Caitlin and Jesse exchanging the horror stories of a degree in bioengineering while eating sandwiches, Wally piping in, more focussed on stealing from Jesse's pasta salad than getting his own share. And Harry, Harry watches them all. He leans back, resting against the palms of his hands, a smile on his lips as he watches them all interact. There is a light, fluttery feeling in his stomach that leaves him breathless.

They eat until they can eat no more, Wally standing, stretching, before bowing lowly, hand outstretched before Jesse. "Would you give me the honour, ma'am, of allowing me to escort you around the gardens?"

Jesse laughs even while taking his hand, Wally pulling her up. "I should never have watched Pride and Prejudice with you. This obsession with walking around is ridiculous." But there is such fondness in her voice, Jesse pressed against his side, a soft kiss on his cheek as they tell Harry and Caitlin that they'd be back shortly.

She worries that it would be awkward after the couple leaves, worries that the tension from before would return - but it doesn't, Harry asking questions about her research. She gets so swept up in what she is saying, of Mercury Labs and Dr Tina McGee, that she doesn't realise she's rambling until his soft chuckle interrupts her. She blushes furiously, biting the inside of her cheek to keep herself together.

"You're remarkable Snow, truly remarkable." There is nothing mocking in the statement, a genuineness ringing in his tone that has her blushing once more.

"I'm thinking you just like seeing me go red," she mutters, ducking her head in embarrassment. Harry says nothing in response, just smiling at her. They are distracted by the vibrations of Caitlin's phone, the woman reaching for it blindly.

But then her face pales at the sight of the name on her phone, not moving to answer or decline the call. He reaches for her knee, squeezing it tightly, her eyes finding his own. He takes her in, pursed lips and clenched jaw, eyes as hard as flint. "I'm just gonna..." she drifts off, motioning her head off to the left, opposite where Jesse and Wally were currently strolling. He nods to her and her shoulders fall a fraction, as though a small weight had been lifted off of her. She leaves him alone, Harry choosing to lay across the mat, eyes on the clouds floating above them. He must fall asleep because he's awaken to a shadow crossing over his face.

"Dad are you okay?" The voice of his daughter startles him, and he cracks his eyes open, Jesse hovering above him.

"I am allowed to relax," he snipes. "And if you even think of calling me old I'll make you regret it." She smiles at him, but her attention is soon stolen by something in the distance.

"Dad, is something wrong with Caitlin?"

"She had a phone call, why?"

"I think that call is over." And he lifts himself up, turning his head to see her a small distance away, Caitlin sitting on the ground, her knees pulled against her chest and face buried between them. "I think you should - " But he was already moving, pushing himself into a standing position, not a word directed to Wally or Jesse, his eyes firmly focussed on Caitlin.

He wanders to her, hand outstretched before her. She lifts up her teary face, eyes squinting, as though she couldn't see him properly, as though in disbelief. The moment stretches on, and he wonders if he should retract the hand and walk away, but before he can act she slides her thin fingers into his open palm. He tightens his grip on her, Caitlin using him as an anchor to lift herself up from the ground.

He takes advantage of the moment, Harry tugging her towards him, Caitlin falling into his chest, her own heaving as she sobs against him. It aches in a place deep within him to hear her ragged breaths, to feel the wetness of her tears soak his shirt.

"Mother, she raised me alone after my father died, and I love her." Her sentence cuts off, a ragged breath as she tries to control her emotions. "But god, she can be so cold sometimes." He presses a kiss to her temple, rubbing her back as she cries her tears away, holding her tightly. Seconds, minutes, hours later, he isn't quite sure, but she stops crying, a tear stained face pulling away from his chest to look him in the eyes, her own blood shot and puffy, a weak smile on her lips. Gratitude shines in her gaze, even if no words are spoken. He nods in response, hand raising to cup her cheek, thumbs stroking her cheeks, the wetness on his thumb pads a knife to his heart.

It is though time stops around them, Harry forgetting they had come with other people, forgetting that this was all make believe. Because her emotions, his emotions - they were all very real to him. This urge to hold her, to protect her from the cruelties of the world, to care and adore her the way she deserved. Her eyes shine under the sunlight, and he hates that they are still glazed from the tears earlier, that this image of beauty before him had brushstrokes of pain throughout it.

"We should ah -" He is temporarily at a loss for words, knowing what he wants to say yet unable to get them out. Especially when they are so diametrically opposite to what he wants to happen. "We should join them again, shouldn't we?" Harry doesn't know why or how those last words slipped out, only knows that he wants her to say no, wants her to wrap her arms around his torso and lean into him, this world away from reality so much more appealing than anything else.

Caitlin doesn't answer for a long while, eyes searching his own. She lifts her hands to the side of her face, her smaller palms surrounding his larger one's, lightly pulling them away from the sides of her face, keeping them close to her face. She doesn't look away from his gaze, the plethora of emotions shining in them sending her inside twisting. She doesn't look away, not as she brings each hand to her, pressing a soft kiss on the insides of his wrists, the touch so delicate he thinks he would have imagined it all if not for the fact he was watching her unblinking, unable to look away. The second one lingers. His breath hitches. "Yeah," she concedes finally, dropping their hands down, and Harry for the life of him, has no idea what she's agreeing to. "We should go back. Don't want them to worry."

And they do reluctantly return to the other pair, cheeks red as they walk in on Jesse and Wally exchanging heated kisses, muffled moans turning into horrified shrieks as Jesse tries to hide herself from them in embarrassment, Wally shielding her from their sight, laughing as she curses them and their terrible timing. Harry glares in response, muttering under his breath about how she was still his daughter and that he didn't need to see things like that. He is only distracted by a muffled laugh, turning his accusatory gaze to Caitlin who was hiding her laugh behind her hands.

It is enough to soften him, the shift from earlier a welcome change.

With a loud voice he declares the picnic over, relenting to Caitlin and Jesse's soft pleas to wait for sunset. And it is a wonderful decision, the couples leaning into each other, quiet whispers and gentle touches exchanged. Caitlin leans into his chest, a soft gasp as the sky turns pink and the sun sets beyond the horizon. "Thank you." Her voice breaks the silence that had descended upon them with the sunset, and his eyes drop down to her face, his heart beating hard at the look in her eyes.

"It was nothing," is his gruff reply, but he can't bring himself to look away from her.

"It wasn't. It was everything."

It's odd now, to slide into bed with each other after the day they had together, so much more odd than twenty four hours before. They weren't strangers, not anymore. And she couldn't deny the thrum of attraction in her veins, the urge to turn around, to curl into his hold. To touch him. It drives her to the point of distraction, Caitlin unable to sleep knowing that he was less than a foot away. And all it does is allow her to think, think about the feelings he was bringing out, the confusion inside her. He was intelligent and sweet, but he was paying her and didn't mean a thing.

She is restless, atmosphere thick with heat. She wants to kick the blankets off, wants to run run away from him, for her mind to be calm, to be unaffected by his presence, by his touch. But she's supposed to be professional, she shouldn't. She's struggling.

"That's it," he grumbles, his hands on her hips, pulling her flush against his chest. She blushes, especially with him burying his face in her neck. "Now stop it."

It leaves Caitlin speechless, the feeling of his body and hers, no space between them. And she tries to focus, choosing on his breathing, trying to steady her own, aligning them together. It's nice, she thinks. It's something she could get used to.

And she falls asleep.

#snowells #harrison wells #harry wells #caitlin snow #snowells fic #snowharry #snowharry fic #the flash #ruthie writes #serena tag #im so sorry this isn't finished #it wasn't supposed to be this long and my finals are literally sunday/ monday im so sos os sos oso so sorry #and im too scared to see ur reaction so im going to go sleep now

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peakyxshelby · 8 years ago

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Cheat.

Finn Shelby x reader Word count: 1992 Request: Can you please write a Finn Shelby fic where he cheats on the reader, they break up and weeks later see each other and decide to try again and can the brother give him advices or something. Good luck with the blog. Warnings: Swearing, fluff, suggested smut Writer Comment: i went off topic and rambled a little bit I am so sorry but really enjoyed thsi one! It had been three weeks. Three weeks since your world was turned upside down. One drunken night out with your friends, Isaiah had let slip after one too many that Finn cheated on you with Viola Brawley. Viola was the daughter of a very powerful brummie, not as powerful as the Shelbys but he was up there. You left the pub in tears as Finn followed you. You screamed and screamed. Cried and cried until there was absolutely nothing left to cry. You wouldn’t listen to a word he had to say and he stood outside your door for hours every day for two weeks. Nothing. You had no response. You and Finn had been inseparable since you were 13 and he finally plucked the courage to ask you out on your 16th birthday. You were turning 18 next month and talk was Finn was going to ask you to marry him. He eventually stopped waiting outside your door even though there were blinders watching and following you everywhere you go. It still hurt, you still sat up at night unable to sleep. The thought of Finn touching Viola’s body the way he touched yours made you physically sick. You couldn’t compete with her in the slightest. You were walking down the streets of Small Heath to your favourite bakery knowing full well you were being followed by one of the blinders the whole way. As you swung the door open to say hello to the owner Frank and his wife you were stopped dead in your tracks. “Finn…” you whispered, as the tall slim boy you were in love with turned round on his heels almost dropping the loaf he was holding. Seeing his face felt like a punch in the gut, you didn’t even notice you had started crying until Frank asked if you were ok. You politely nodded and spun back around on your heels before quickly walking away. Finn threw money on the counter quickly before running after you as quick as he could. “(Y/N)!” He shouted but you kept walking, ignoring him. “(Y/N)! Stop!” He shouted again, after this you practically broke into a run but he was the fitter one out of the two of you obviously and soon caught up and stood in front of you grabbing your arms preventing your from moving. “Get off me you fucking bastard!” you screamed punching him in the chest, before practically collapsing down sobbing. He held you, stroking your back and gently hushing you trying to calm you down. When you felt you had enough strength you shook Finn off you and stood up quickly drying your eyes and sorting yourself out. “(Y/N) can we please just talk? Please just let me explain!” He begged you with tears in his eyes almost looking as broken as you were. But you just shook your head and went to walk past him. “I love you (Y/N), please stay. Please” He took your hand and you quickly turned back around to face him. “You don’t love me, if you loved me you would never ever have hurted me like you did. If you didn’t want me you could have let me know…” you trailed off looking at his face as he know began to sob. You knew this was your cue to walk away. _________________________________ Finn burst through the door into the betting shop, his face red and puffy. “Where’s Tommy?” he hissed to one of the men in the shop his voice cracking and laced with anger. He looked around in panic trying to locate the most powerful shelby when Pol walked out of her office. She was shocked to see Finn standing breathing heavy, fists clenched. “Finn, what the hell is wrong with you?” Polly asked her nephew rubbing his back trying to calm him down. “I need Tommy now,” he seethed. She saw that there was no arguing with him right now and followed him quickly as he stormed towards his office. As Finn burst open the door Tommy and John were sitting at his desk going over a plan in front of them. “Not now Fi…” Tommy was shocked when he looked up from the papers to see his youngest brother standing in front of him with rage burning through his eyes. The look on aunt Pol’s face let Tommy know that something was wrong. “What’s wrong with you?” Tommy asked, actually concerned for his brother. “You! You did this! You’re the reason the girl I love, the only person in this damn world i really care about hate’s me!” Finn was screaming now, this took everyone back as he was never one to shout. “You told me the only way we would land the deal is if i would seduce the bloody daughter of George fucking Brawley that you would land the deal! You told me she’d never find out!” Tommy sank back in his chair as John looked down at his hands, Finn was sobbing again and slumped in the chair across the desk from the other two boys, his head collapsing down into his hands. “I am so sorry Finn,” Pol whispered before squeezing his shoulders and nodding to John and Thomas. A look that told them they better sort this out. “Finn,” Tommy started, guilt filled him seeing his brother so destroyed, “listen I am so sorry. I will speak to her, I’ll sort this out.” “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” John stated, “she needs to hear it from you Finn.” “She won’t speak to me, she won’t even look at me and i have no idea what I’m meant to do.” Finn sounded defeated. “Give her time, sit her down and tell her everything that happened. If you really love her and she really loves you, everything will work out,” Tommy said trying to soothe his brother. That’s when the door burst open, Isaiah had seen his friend upset and decided he knew a quick fix to help his broken heart. “Come on mate, we are going out.” ________________________________

You had just tanned your third Gin of the evening and you’d only been out an hour or so. Your friends had decided that it was time to get dolled up and go out to get finn off your mind. It was working, you felt good, you looked great and the drinks were flowing. The pub was popular among people your age and it was one of the busiest nights you had seen it in a while. Perfect opportunity to hit the dance floor, as you got up to start dancing you spotted your ex’s cousin michael standing at the bar with a very attractive friend. You made your way over eyeing up the mystery boy. “Michael!” you squealed while jumping in for a hug. “Well it looks like someone is enjoying their night!” Michael chuckled, “nice to see you (Y/N), what are you drinking tonight?” as you told michael your drink order in no time at all there was another one in front of you. “(Y/N), this is my friend Benjamin. Ben this is (Y/N).” “Lovely to meet you (Y/N),” the boy said whilst pecking your hand which in turn made you blush, “but please just call me Ben.” “Well ben,” you started, “how well can you dance?” The boy looked at Michael who just started to laugh. “She’s a handful this one,” Michael laughed. But before you know it you’re in the middle of the dance floor dancing with your new friend. The world was spinning and your face was hot from all the liquor, you were too caught up in the moment to think of anything else. You didn’t realise how close you and Ben’s faces had actually gotten. You quickly pulled back becoming very aware that the only boy you had ever kissed had been Finn. “Wow it’s getting so hot in here, I think I need to get back to that drink,” you shouted over the loud music at the boy who nodded and agreed whilst walking back to the bar. You sat on the bar and quickly downed the drink and that’s when your whole body went limp. “Who the fuck put something in her drink!” Michael shouted as he caught you before you hit the floor. You couldn’t move or speak and your noise and vision was extremely warped. You could see the boy from earlier try to run to the door. That’s when you saw him. Finn. Isaiah had grabbed the boy as michael and finn ran to the boy taking off their hats as Isaiah held his hands behind his back. You tried to scream but nothing would come out as your friend was gently stroking your hair out your face reassuring you it would be ok. _________________________________

You woke up in a familiar feeling, you tried to look around but the light was so bright and all of your muscles ached. As your eyes started to adjust you saw you were in Finn’s bed and he was sat at the end staring at the wall. He looked so very tired. He quickly noticed you were awake and ran round the side of the bed to kneel next to you. “Are you ok? Are you hurt at all?” he asked sounding panicked whilst running a hand across your forehead. “Why am I hear?” You croaked, trying to sit up but winced at the pain. Finn helped you sit up and make you comfy as he told you what happened the night before. That the boy at the bar had tried spiked you to try and take you home and that Finn and Isaiah had arrived just in time to help michael ‘take care of things’. I fell unconscious and my breathing started to becoming less and less noticeable so Finn ran you here. He hadn’t left your side since. He was whisked out the room by Pol after this although he was very reluctant to leave your side. She wanted to examine you incase you had any injuries and didn’t want to ‘expose’ you to Finn, nothing he hadn’t seen before though was what he argued. “He loves you, you know,” she said once Finn had left the room. You stayed silent as you weren’t sure what to believe. “He hasn’t left your side, not slept a wink all night. He was in tears carrying you through that door. He thought he’d lost you (Y/N) and It almost broke him.” When Pol was finished she washed you up and put you in night clothes to rest before going to pack your things so you could go home. Finn slipped back into the room and sat on the other side of the bed. “(Y/N),” He whispered barely audible, “Can we please talk about this?” You thought about what Polly had said and decided you were tough enough now to accept what he had to say. You nodded and Finn explained everything. How tommy was settling a deal. How he was a key role. He finished explaining and there was silence. You were still hurt he could have done such a thing to you. But he was putting his family first as he always did it’s how he goes about life family first. “I really do love you,” he said intertwining his fingers with yours on the bed. “I know, I still love you,” he looked at you with wide eyes and pulled you into his chest. You sat there for a moment him holding you tight in a warm embrace. “(Y/N)(Y/L/N), will you marry me?” You looked at him in shock, confused at was going on. “I put family first, I want to put you first. I want you to be family.” “Yes.” you said before going in for a passionate kiss, the best kiss you have ever had.

#peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders #polly gray #michael gray #isaiah jesus #finn shelby #john shelby #thomas shelby

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jelenagnoura · 8 years ago

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Unexpected // Alfie & Gigi

Summary: An unexpected meeting at an even more unexpected place…

Words: 14,909

@enochalready

Sometimes, Alfie lived up to his siblings’ suggestion of him being a little shit - and today was no exception. With his older brother’s birthday looming, he had set out to find a present for him, something that he hadn’t given to him or anyone else before. Needless to say that his search in the Galleries du Roi had been fruitless and that even the small boutiques in town hadn’t had anything that would catch his eye. With a suppressed sigh, he slumped down in his seat at the nearest café, nursing his coffee, while he tried to come up with an idea that would work in his favour. But nothing came to mind, not even, after he had asked the lovely female barista. With her number on his receipt he eventually set out again, even though he felt like going home and find something online might be his best option by now.

It was in a quiet side street at the edge of Centre-Ville that he found a small shop he hadn’t quite noticed before. It looked quaint and a little out of place, really, but since he had never been in there, he decided to try his luck. And lucky he got - he had to laugh to himself, as he found himself in the middle of a sex shop, with a very attractive attendant in a corset moving towards him. With an easy smile he waved her away, indicating he would browse for a while, all the while his mind was whirring with ideas for his brother’s birthday. Oh, how he would hate him, but gosh, he and his wife surely needed to spruce up their sex life. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone else looking around, and paid them no further mind at first, only - it was a little weird that they were wearing an oversized hoodie, cap and sunglasses inside, wasn’t it? It took him a few minutes to realise who it was, but when he did, he stepped close and said, “If I were you, I’d choose a vibrator without rhinestones - as nice as they look, that cannot feel comfortable.”

---

Gigi had always gone out of her way to tease and annoy her siblings a little. 99% of the time it consisted of being overly motherly and protective, but after way too much TMI convo with Bella about the younger Hadid's sex life it was kind of a gimmicky idea that Gigi would go out and get her sissy a little something from a certain shop in town. The one part she had not thought through was the fact that she was by far the most uptight in their family and while Bella probably would find whatever Gigi would buy her kind of funny, the blonde herself was dying when she actually set foot into a sex shop she had previously googled with Cully on the phone laughing his ass off at Gigi's idea. The hood of her hoodie that she had pulled even over her baseball cap probably was best proof that she did not want to be seen whatsoever. Actually after Paris Fashion Week she wasn't in the mood to be seen or photographed at all, but if photographed, this was not the location she’d want it to happen.

The overly helpful sales assistant that was basically next to her side the minute she had set foot into the store scared her almost as much as the thought of being photographed, as did the voice in which the woman loudly declared that she’d be around in case Gigi had any questions. The blonde was close to running again, ditching the idea of annoying her sister a little, but now she was already there and how bad could it really be? She was 21...not 12. There couldn't be much she didn't know of, right? Well she was wrong, there was actually barely anything she had any idea or use for, nor was she sure if she wanted to know. This went beyond 50 shades and Vibrators for sure. “Next time I’ll just get her some agent provocateur stuff...!” Gigi mumbled under her breath, still super confused about most of the things around her, before she turned around rather quickly, a somewhat shocked expression on her face when she heard a voice behind her which freaked her out more than anything else. Seeing Alfie was a blessing, after all it was not a random fan, but also her face turned completely red in a matter of seconds. “I am..this is..not...thanks?”

---

The shade of her skin turned tomato red in seconds and he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. Not that he was a regular customer at shops like these - okay, he had bought a thing or two in the past, and even annoyed Matt with a gift once - but Gigi looked so terribly out of place he was almost bursting to ask what she was doing here of all places. Curiosity got the better of him, and he tilted his head to the side, before asking, “What is it not?” Funny, he noticed, they were almost the same height, which was not something he was used to when talking to women - and some men. It was nice not to have to look down on someone or stoop to make them feel less small. Leaning against the shelves, he crossed his arms and waited for a reply.

“So, what are you looking for exactly?” he asked eventually, his grin threatening to break through this time around. “Because I’m just trying to find some ideas or gifts to annoy my older brother with - he’s a bit stuck up, when it comes to enjoying sex. Or so it always seems.” There were things he actually didn’t want to know about his older brother and sister-in-law, but with their family being as it was, sex was always a revolving topic somehow. “And since eatable condoms are just about the lamest thing I could get him, voilà,” he waved his hands around, “here I am. Maybe you can try and help me find something and in return, I’ll do you a favour.”

---

“This is not exactly my...I mean….nothing, I am just...walking in front of the world half naked or naked probably seems less awkward than this right now!” Gigi admitted laughing and brushed the hoodie from her head, suddenly the cap and the hood feeling terribly out of place. She was rambling, rambling 100% and she did not know how to stop. This was by far the most uncomfortable she had been in god knows how long. Especially with Alfie not seeming to mind this location, or what they were surrounded by. Trying to copy his comfortable position she just felt something plastic-y against her back, making her jump slightly and causing some vibrator packages to fall onto the ground only to leave Gigi even more mortified than before. “Oh god!” This just got worse by the second it seemed.

“And here I thought I am a terrible sister. Bella. I wanna annoy her. We had a convo about how to forget exes and i don’t want my baby sister to sleep around so….here we are. This is me trying to annoy her at my best which I am really good at usually, but this is something she normally would do to me to make me feel uncomfortable, not vice versa!” The way he talked about his brother though made her grin. This could be Bella talking about her basically. “Some people enjoy sex quietly...without sharing their excitement with everyone, just saying!” The blonde told him grinning a little, the first facial expression that wasn’t totally uncomfortable but honest, which changed again at the mentioning of edible condoms. “Why would anyone want that..I mean edible condoms? It's like flavored ones guys think to buy for prom. That's just odd!” When he asked her to help she couldn't help but laugh “Did you not figure out yet that I am not exactly certain what to get people in here? I am by now convinced that I don't know what three quarter of the things in here even are..which is terrible for a 21 year old, right?”

---

“Naked, hm? What designer would want that - I can’t think of any… shoes perhaps? But then that isn’t completely naked,” he teased her with an ever broadening grin. Not only did she look out of place, she was completely out of her comfort zone, it seemed, and not even trying to cover that up. Well, maybe a little, but when the boxes fell to the floor, and she was back to giving a ripe tomato a run for its money, which amused Alfie even more. “At least you got that right,” he grinned, as he helped her pick up the vibrators and put them back on the shelf, adding, “oh god might be the reaction to many of these things… somehow.” He pulled her away from them and into the next isle, latex and leather, as far as they could determine, which he hoped made her a little less uncomfortable and jumpy. “You’re not a terrible sister - hm, maybe for trying to keep her from having fun, but hey, I guess that’s what older siblings do. Speaking from experience I can tell you that trying to keep us grasshoppers from having sex doesn’t work. Even less so, if you say it out loud.”

Ah, a smile, he thought triumphantly and smiled back. If he could make her forget where she was for a moment , maybe that could help her get something for her sister. Though, seeing how he and her sister might think alike, she would probably find something that was useful to her more than annoying. But he wouldn’t tell her that just yet. “No sound at all? How would I be able to know, if you enjoyed it, if you were quiet? That sounds awfully boring -” Suddenly, he laughed at her facial expression. “I guess gummi bears and edible condoms aren’t that far apart in spirit, one just a little dirtier than the other. Flavoured, though? Never got why that mattered.” If anyone had told him earlier today that he would end up having a conversation about sex and condoms with one of the world’s most successful models, he would have laughed in their faces, yet here he was, and honestly? He was enjoying himself. A little too much perhaps. “You know what? Let’s find out,” he proposed, offering her his arm to draw her further down the aisle. “Let’s maybe start with things you do know - underwear. By the way, there’s some edible around, too.” He pointed it out to her. “Not sure whether you should eat in bed, though - at least not that.”

---

“Chanel!” The answer came really quickly and so did memories of her French Vogue Cover. “Actually it was not a runway but a magazine. But I tried to make a point here!” She saw how he was trying to make her feel more comfortable, unsure if it worked although she couldn't help but smile. When he mentioned that she got a thing right she was confused for a moment, a laugh escaping her lips though at the awful joke he just made. “I am not sure if that is something god should be thanked for at the end of the day!” She tried to joke back but she did know well what he meant. At least one thing she knew right now. He did exactly right, leading her into an aisle she was at least somewhat more comfortable and even familiar with. Some of those pants could have come straight out of her closet, leather and lace up, latex even...maybe not the crotchless part, but therefor her pants probably were by far more expensive. Next time she was called out for her spending habits she’d simply blame it on the fact that pants that actually cover crotches seemed to be way more expensive than crotchless ones. “I don't want to keep her from having sex..not my priority at least, I just don't want her to, not sure how to say it!” She really wasn't sure what rubbed her the wrong way when it came to Bella and boys. Maybe it was just not wanting her sister to be hurt, or misjudged by the outside. Especially the press who she knew could be ruthless.

“Well, I was talking about not talking about sex, not not...I am so loosing my thoughts here, this is not my strong suit, talking I mean. Talking generally I am good at, not really, but talking about sex..I think you get my point here!” Gigi honestly laughed, she knew she seemed like the most uptight person ever right now. Maybe she was, especially for her age. It was never really a thing she was vocal about, not with people outside of her closest circle though. Sure she had giggled and talked to Bella about sex, only if it was her own sex life though, talking about bella's made her cringe every single time. she was her baby sister after all. “And thank you, nobody ever called me boring..especially not in the context of thinking of me in bed!” It was the first time she felt comfortable enough to actually tease him back right there. “Don't ruin gummy bears for me you idiot!” She scolded him softly, the point he was trying to make still making her cringe. Edible condoms simply seemed like an awful idea. “Underwear I know and like..if its pretty. Eating it though? Once again, that sounds weird. Had it painted on before which is interesting, but messy!”

---

„Chanel makes you go naked on the runway?“ Eyebrows raised he leaned in and looked at her curiously, a grin flitting over his face, when she corrected herself. „Been at photo shoots before, no one ever asked me to get naked.“ His fingers scratched his chin, while he pursed his lips. „Maybe I’m doing something wrong.“ His eyebrows lifted further. „Then why do you Americans prefer saying it? Or rather screaming it? Not like God can overhear you that way…“ Watching her eye the clothes, if they could even be called that, around them, he could see that she was less tense than she had been before, but still not entirely comfortable. For someone who was strutting around in various states of dress or undress for a living, she seemed rather unused to being around the really sexy stuff. Again, if it could be called that - he didn’t quite see the appeal of crotchless trousers. But maybe that was personal preference that he wasn’t really privy to. „You don’t want to think about your baby sister getting it,“ he finished her sentence for her teasingly. „See, that’s the thing about younger siblings, they’ll do it, whether you want it or not, only thing you can do is make sure that they do it right.“ At least that was how his siblings had done it, and while he had writhed and fought them tooth and nail - because who the fuck wanted to get the birds and bees talk from their older sister? - he had still learnt a few useful lessons that way. And most of all that his siblings had his back, no matter what.

Alfie couldn’t help but laugh at her rambling, and even more so, when she joined in. She really wasn’t good at the talking part, at least not when it came to talking about sex in a sex shop, but - it was funny to see her try. Kinda cute, too. „Never called you boring, per se… just - it’s something else to get someone to lose themselves so much they’re vocal about what they want. I like that, women knowing what they want and not being afraid to ask for it.“ It seemed to him that she had almost forgotten that they were standing in an aisles filled with latex clothes at the moment, and maybe that was truly something she could relate to, more than the little sex toys scattered around the other aisle. „I’m not!“ he defended himself, raising his hands slightly, „I’m sure you can find gummy bears here, too - maybe even some wearing latex…“ Shaking his head, he pointed to a pair of barely there lingerie. „I know these do look good, amazing even, on someone, but - what’s the point, if they don’t cover anything?“ Hearing her last words, his eyes widened and he eyed her curiously, trying not to check her out too much. „Just how does painted on underwear work? And how do you get it off again?“ Needless to say he was intrigued. „Or is it simple body paint and you get to strut around naked?“ Pensively, he looked at the clothes, then back at Gigi. „I might prefer the latter option, just personally speaking."

---

“I wasn't naked, just mostly wearing Chanel Nr. 5!” It was funny how comfortable she was with the world being able to see her on a magazine cover in nothing, how her first big gig had been the Pirelli calendar wearing nothing but a little Latex body and how generally rolling around in a bed in her underwear for work wasn't a big deal, but talking about sex? Sure a way to get Gigi flustered. It was one of the things she had hated the most about dating in the public eye. People always asking for private details like that which she never managed to give proper answers to. She’d much rather talk about how she enjoyed a man cooking for her than anything else. “Right, cause Brits are so much more creative? And don't say that they are. Nor are Australians for that matter!” Sticking her tongue out at him softly she couldn't help but notice that this was getting more and more comfortable. Maybe thanks to the lack of vibrating, buzzing or other penis shaped things around them. “Her exes tends to sing about it, that was enough for me honestly, dont need to full disclosure. Making that pussy rain was more than I was ever willing to hear out of anyone’s mouth!” Gigi rolled her eyes mentioning a certain ex of her sister who lately wasn't on the list of her favorite people, but nobody who ever hurt her siblings would be or was ever on that list. “You know I do have older sisters myself, half sisters but still. They did go above and beyond to make sure I knew what I was doing when I dated the first guy, or how to prepare for prom, or anything similar, but that's different. Bella and Anwar are...my babies. They can have sex, they can do whatever, but I wanna have them protected and in a bubble!”

“I think that comes naturally when you’re really trusting someone. When you are really intimate with someone asking for something isnt even a question, it's just something you do because you know you can. And because you want to!” This one she really meant, which was probably due to the fact that Gigi, maybe untypical for her age, had been in relatively long and serious relationships where trust had always been the number one thing and therefore being vocal about what she wanted or needed wasn't really something she ever had to worry about before. “Oh here it goes. Underwear isn't for men, its for girls. Nothing boost the ego quite like the right kind of lace, or satin, or whatever on your skin. Something that just makes you feel on top of your game. That's what those are for. If it leads to you, or any man enjoying them? Even better, but that's not priority there!” Gigi realized she had mentioned something he was interested in when she saw the look on his face. “Well lucky you cause the latter version is actually what it is. Takes hours but its people spraying and painting a bikini or whatever on you in a way that actually looks real. And water would be the magic trick to ultimately get it off!”

---

„That still means you were naked, only smelling nicely, too…“ The life of a model was slightly weird, he realised, because while she was flustered about even looking at penis-shaped toys, she was completely comfortable talking to him about getting stark naked for a magazine shoot at the same time. It was intriguing, she was intriguing, this mix of confident and out of her element, smiling and still blushing at the mere mention of things… it made him want to push the envelope a little further, see where it landed him. Alfie nodded appreciatively at her almost perfect counter comment. „So you have experience with Australians, hm? I wonder, if they’re that different from us Englishmen.“ Actually, he had no idea, whether there was much difference, but one thing he had noticed was that „oh my God“ was certainly a very American thing to say. Arching his eyebrow, he blinked at her. „Excuse me, what? He sings about her? Taylor Swift style, you mean?“ And then he burst out laughing at her description, just imagining it in his mind made him throw his head back and laugh even harder. „Is he sure he didn’t want it to rain pussies instead?“ It was indeed slightly weird, and had to be even more awkward, when you knew the person that singer was crooning about personally. „So, what’s the most useful thing they taught you?“ Leaning back against a shelf, he crossed his arms and thought about his own question for a moment. „I think mine was actually how to go down on a woman properly…“ And man, that had been one very interesting talk back then. He could still feel his ears and cheeks being on fire, as his sister and her friends went on and on about it, and how they threw out his older brother for being a hopeless case already

„True, trust is the key, but even in a one night kind of thing you should never be afraid to speak up, especially when it comes to wanting to feel good. Nothing worse than someone just taking one for the team. That’s not enjoying yourself, that’s just highly uncomfortable.“ There was a big difference between just knowing each other for a day or even a few hours, and knowing each other inside out. He had experienced both, been hurt during the latter much more, which was why he preferred the former at the moment. „Not that I don’t enjoy the view, I do. But do you really wear this -“ he held up a pair of flimsy crotchless panties up for her to see, „under your regular clothes? Doesn’t that chafe horribly?“ Alfie grinned at her, dropping them in her hands. „Your sister might enjoy those… though I always thought ferocious high heels made the girls go from good to badass in 0.5 seconds.“ His eyes grew slightly wider at her further explanation and he was about to ask for proof, when he stopped himself. “How on earth did someone get that job and survived?” he asked instead and shook his head amusedly, before he stepped behind her, put his hands on her shoulder and gently steered her to another aisle. „Okay, come on, enough about clothes - honestly, if you want to get back at your sister, we need to find you something proper to play with." Realising his mistake, he grinned, “her, I mean.”

---

“Dated an Aussie for almost four years, I am technically almost an honorary Australian you could say! In my case I at least knew from the beginning what the Australian was saying. British accents can be so hard to understand. It's that moment of just nodding and appreciating beauty honestly!” When the actor asked her if it was Taylor kind of singing it was Gigi's turn to burst out into laughter. “If Taylor would sing about drugs, bitches and pussy then yes, it would be Taylor style, but since she doesn't...you know The Weeknd? Guy that used to have the pineapple hair?” The blonde knew the answer was most likely yes, it was hard to not know Abel these days. “His songs are or at least were sung to my sister a couple of times and I am still mortified about it!” Realizing that she wasn't one to talk about singers writing songs about girls though she quickly shut up again, only grinning ever so slightly. When he asked about the most important things her older sisters had taught her she bit her lip in contemplation, not sure what the answer was right away. “Probably that college boys were the right kind of deal if I want to learn something!” She told him laughing before she shook her head “No, that's not really what they taught me, that's just how I took from it. I think it's very similar to yours...blow jobs were high on the list of things they told me about. Or more like things I listened to them talk about with each other and being horrified by the idea!” Raising her eyebrows she couldn't help but wonder though “How exactly would your sisters explain to you though how to go down on a girl? That seems...kinda hard to explain. And massively awkward!”

“You are probably right about that!” It was a simple answer, short and sufficient and easier than explaining how the last year was the first time in her life she ever spent single and therefore wasn't exactly a master of one time only things. Looking at the panties her reflexes were quick to catch them when he dropped them in her hands. “Not really, but only because I just don't get the crotchless part. Only reason to possibly flash people is because I wanna avoid panty lines under tight clothes to be honest...the lace though? Yes, sure!” When he mentioned heels Gigi nodded “Heels too, but that's not always practical. I do like sneakers on most days, heels are a nice touch and ego booster every now and then though!” The fact that she stood in the middle of a sex shop telling Alfie about clothes just showed a lot about her love for her job and also that she’d do anything to forget that she actually wasn't shopping for clothes. When his hands guided her to move somewhere different in the store she groaned “Oh come on I think I already don't like this idea anymore...lets get your brother something and I’ll ignore that you just proposed that I should get something for myself!”

---

„Is that meant to be an honour or an insult?“ Alfie teased with a wink, when she mentioned being a honorary Australian. „Their accent is just as bad as ours - and love, you understand me, so where’s the problem? Though you can always nod and appreciate my beauty.“ Just to make her laugh he finished with a flourish and curtsied. Ah, yes, he had forgotten that they were actually friends, her and Taylor - and for a moment he thought he had actually overstepped a boundary, but her reply was so on point, that he had to laugh again, something he found himself doing more and more in her proximity, he realised. „That would make for a scandal. Or a very interesting Swift album…“ Of course he had heard about The Weeknd, who had not? But he hadn’t known that he had dated Gigi’s sister - and suddenly, some of her comments made a lot more sense. Alfie nodded pensively. „Singers have weird ways to express their feelings about something or someone,“ he mused, then shrugged, „and when you split - ooooh, that must be mighty awkward, mustn’t it?“ It was then that he realised two things, one that she had stopped talking, and two that she probably had personal experience when it came to singers singing about their women. „Be glad it wasn’t Jason Derulo, though, he would have used his name at least three times in that song to boost his ego.“ How their talk had gone from rather innocent topics to sex again he didn’t quite remember, probably his fault, but he was too amused to steer the conversation away from it. „And how exactly have they taught you about blowjobs?“ he teased her right back, leaning in with a curious look on his face. „Honestly, it was a lot of „go there, do this, for the live of you do not ever do that“, that type of thing. And then - trial and error.“

Alfie didn’t push the matter, it was clear that she didn’t want to talk about it further, and that was fine by him. „Then we’re two who don’t get it - I mean, what’s the point. If I want to fuck someone, what the underwear looks like is the last thing I’m concerned about.“ Her admission about flashing people had him whip his head around to look at her. „Ever done that to someone on purpose?“ he asked, before he could stop and think about it. He eyed her carefully. Not that flustered about talking about that, not anymore at least. „Women in sneakers are my kind of person.“ For the first time that day, he let his eyes drop to her feet and then slowly back up her body. The hoodie still made him laugh, although he did so silently. „Oh, come on, Ms Hadid - you can’t leave empty handed. Or at least without an idea of what to find around here.“ Grinning at the shop assistant, he moved them into a corner at the back of the shop, where the small sex toys were on display. „Let’s start with - is it for her or for her to use on a guy?“ Alfie graciously ignored her calling him out, though he did grin at her broadly. „Because that makes all the difference."

---

“It depends on where in England. Some of those accents are just insane to understand!” She remembered how her entire family had struggled to understand Zayn the first couple of times they spent times together and really, even after dating him for a while there were always moments of having to think twice before realizing what he wanted from her. “You know, some guys sing about general stuff, others sing about having sex with you in a bathroom stall...or you riding their surfboard. Or Pillow Talk. It all comes down to preference I guess!” It was ridiculous, the twist and turns their talk constantly took but she didn't really mind it all that much. It was nice, easy going and fun after all and nothing she told him was something he couldn't figure out or read on the internet. “Mostly just that it's not as much blowing as the name would suggest!” Gigi answered laughing, her hands covering her eyes for a moment before she peeked up at him again. “Did it actually help? Your sisters telling you what to do and how to do it?” It sounded like the kind of thing that was way too individual and different for every single person to actually be taught to a boy by his sisters.

“I mean I am thankful it's no longer the 00s and people like Paris Hilton flash people for a living, but..no I don't think I ever really flashed someone on purpose. Just really on accident either at work or like..at after parties with short dresses or those kind of overly high slits in a gown!” Actually she wasn't sure how much it had happened, thankfully never on camera but some dresses did require minimal or no underwear and Gigi would never not listen to her stylists in moments like that. “You need a girl who can rock both, leggings and sneakers and an evening gown!” Gigi told him grinning, knowing that she did describe half of the fashion world including herself and all of her friends but she meant it. In her opinion just one side wouldn't be half as much fun. He wasn't really subtle when he checked what she was wearing shoe wise though and that fact alone made her laugh out loud. Her laugh got choked up in her throat when he said that she couldn't leave without buying something and for a moment she was going to ask him if he thought she was in the store with an oversized hoodie and a base cap for no reason. Carrying out a bag wasn't exactly the ideal plan right now. “I think I already have enough ideas what people buy in here and all of it scarred me for life!” She mumbled, not wanting to move one bit towards the miniature sex toys, nor did she want to hear the shop assistant eagerly explaining anything to them. When Alfie even asked a question Gigi looked at him in horror, her eyes widening. “Pshh!” She tried to shush him. The shop assistant happily went on about how that miniature thing in front of them was supposed to stimulate her while he’d have a remote deciding on how fast it would work...all which caused Gigi to simply die in embarrassment , even more so when the woman grinned at them and concluded “And it's perfect cause it truly fits in any handbag and you two can use it whenever you feel like you need some excitement in your life!” Gigi would have argued that they weren't a couple, that her life was plenty exciting and that the last thing she wanted was something that someone else could control inside of her...but she was left speechless and back to her earlier stage of being purely uncomfortable with a face even more red than it had been before.

---

There was no way he could argue against that. There were some horrible accents and dialects around in England and Great Britain, some even he had trouble understanding at first. Growing up in London, he had mostly heard the typical Southerner accent, which was something he was used to. „Surfboard, hm? That must be a painful deformity... pillow talk, at least, I get,“ he smiled down at her, „that is, if anyone’s still able to talk.“ Her comment made him laugh, and through back at her, „Suck job just doesn’t have the same ring to it, don’t you think?“ For a moment he wondered whether he should bring up the question of why it was called a blow job, when there was nothing to actually blow on. Unless... but that sounded rather painful and he made a face. „Apart from me wanting to have the earth open up and swallow me whole for the most of that „talk“, I think so. It wasn’t all graphic, but there were a few helpful tips, I think. Everyone is different, likes it differently, or does it differently - the trick is to find out what they like and go for it, push them over the edge. If you can make them see stars, you’re good.“ It had only been later that he had realised that magazines like Cosmo and others would go into way more detail about what had to go where when and how. Still, he was thankful his sisters had taken him aside to tell him that being selfish in bed was a sure fire way to fuck up. Again, Alfie made a face, this time at the mention of Paris Hilton. Poor woman was a walking reality tv joke, and he wondered why on earth people had given her and others so much leeway to expose themselves. Literally and figuratively. „Aren’t there ways to prevent that from happening? You work in the business, you should know.“ He couldn’t quite imagine just flashing someone by accident, even less so at work, but then again, getting ready backstage at a fashion show had to be very different from being backstage on a tv or film set. „At the same time?“ Alfie arched an eyebrow and grinned at Gigi. „Might make for a whole new trend.“

Funny, how Gigi could go from comfortably telling him about flashing people by accident to being mortified at the mere thought of checking out a few toys people could and would use on themselves or others. „I don’t think you’ve even seen half of the badass stuff they have in here, yet. Crotchless panties and vibrators really don’t count, darling.“ Her desperate tries to remain invisible to the shop assistant made him laugh, although he gathered that doing so out loud might make her run, after all. And he was having too much fun to let her leave just yet. While the other woman spoke, Alfie kept his eyes firmly on Gigi, watching in amusement as her cheeks grew redder the longer the explanation went on. „Here, take it,“ he was told and the little toy was dropped into his hands, and started vibrating softly in his palm. „Nice feeling, isn’t it? You can turn it up a notch and increase the stimulation, for both of you. It’s quite the big seller right now.“ Looking at the little device, he didn’t quite know whether he should ask, how that would ever stimulate him, or any guy, but then decided to investigate a little more and - „Some couples prefer to use it on each other, which is why we have many different colours.“ While the shop assistant turned her back to them, he cautiously hovered the toy above the back collar of Gigi’s hoodie, and set it against her skin, when it was turned on again via the controller. „Sorry, love, slipped my fingers,“ he grinned at her, and handed it back to the clerk. „Not striking your fancy, it seems, hm? Well, maybe something more extravagant might be our thing? We have vibrating anal and vaginal beads which can each set at a different pace. Or what about a couple vibrator? Or a vibrating cock ring? Let me tell you, that is an experience you’ll never forget.“ „The latter, definitely,“ Alfie grinned, and made sure Gigi couldn’t run, linking their arms together. Now that was going to be a gift for his brother.

---

His comment about the Surfboard made her laugh loudly, it was a terrible euphemism that she until that day still sort of cringed at, but she was young and in love so back then it kind of seemed like an okay thing for her boyfriend to sing about. “Pillow talk is logical isn't it? Not sure if it means talking at moment when you might not be able to though!” She mused softly, honestly not ever having thought about this, not even for a split second. “There is a way to prevent it, its called wearing panties, but there are clothes that make not exposing something hard and once you’ve been backstage at a Fashion Show you just start to not really care anymore. I have a great stylist and a great time, so whenever I wear something that could eventually expose anything they are by my side and warning me!” It seemed like such a random conversation to have with a Alfie, but it was true, there wasn't really a reason to be weird about it. At least not to her which might have been weird considering she couldn't even look at most of the little toys and gadgets around them without feeling like she needed to close her eyes or look away again. “Wearing sneakers with an evening gown isn't too weird, actually I just take the heels off if they get too uncomfortable to be honest!” She never would understand the fuss about wearing heels for hours and just going through that pain when there were sneaker around somewhere. She had been the one going to a Met Gala afterparty in a see through mini dress and sneaker which was probably the best way to actually describe Gigi in a nutshell. “You know, I’ve been told I’ve set a couple of trends lately, not sure if that's true or not though!”

---

Gigi had basically stopped listening at the point when the shop assistant seemed all too eager to explain them how the fuck they were supposed to use that little thing in Alfie’s hand, which only made her shriek when she suddenly felt something vibrate against the collar of her hoodie. “You asshole!” She mumbled laughing, the laugh honest as ever, after all he got her real good in that moment. “Well this is an experience I seriously wanna forget!” Gigi mumbled when the shop assistant was telling them about more extravagant options and even more so when Alfie confirmed that the last option was one he’d be interested in. When she saw the cock ring presented to them her nose scrunched up, her eyes showing the obvious confusing. Now how the fuck was that going to be something anyone would enjoy? It was a bit beyond her and the concept seemed massively strange. Not that she actually wanted imagine it. No. “The time people spend in here figuring out how to please each other could be used just doing it!” She finally hissed at Alfie, not realizing how her words must have sounded. “I mean..not that I am, I wasn't suggesting. I just feel like all of this sounds like a really tricky….and I am back to not being able to talk again…!”

---

„Pillow talk can be, well, quite insightful - there’s hardly a moment where someone is more vulnerable than at that time, wouldn’t you say?“ He wasn’t the hit it and quit it kind of guy, nor did he throw anyone out of his bed, be it someone he had just met or known longer. And true, those conversations could be very interesting - after all, baring your soul wasn’t that hard after having bared anything else. Poetic, really, if he thought about it. „Wow, that’s a whole new concept. I thought going commando was the norm,“ Alfie teased her, and shook his head. Her life was so vastly different from his, and while he was used to having a stylist around on set, he surely could dress himself most of the time, thank you very much. „Maybe such clothes should come with inbuilt underwear, so flashing doesn’t even happen. Maybe I should patent that.“ Again, he burst out in laughter, it seemed that their conversation, as weird as it was, continued to amuse both of them and that surely wasn’t a bad thing. „Oh, Miss Trendsetter, that might have flown right past me,“ he sighed dramatically and put his hand on his chest, eventually even rolled his eyes at himself in amusement. „How will I ever be able to figure out a Hadid original now? Tell me - how?“

Alfie threw her a mockingly apologetic smile and shook his head. „That’d be weird to forget seeing how it feels the same as the relaxation methods they use after strenuous physical activity -" His smile widened. „In sports. See, I was a rower in college and after competitions, that’s the same vibrations they would use to loosen us up.“ His grin had reached shit-eating variety by now. „Just not internally - though that might have helped a few of us be lose that stick up their arses for once.“ Still musing about that, he almost bumped into their shop assistant, who presented him with a ring-shaped object with a tiny hump on top. „Should be your size,“ she declared, but he shook his head. „See, I’m actually looking for something for my brother, so a size smaller might be more fitting - and make it a loud colour, so he doesn’t accidentally lose it.“ Or forget about it, really, which was what he was going for. “People just want different options, I guess. For when fingers or other appendages aren’t quite enough.” He arched an eyebrow. “Don’t you like to be satisfied to the core? Where someone puts a lot of effort into making you feel good, and mostly good about yourself? Otherwise sex is just mechanical - and where’s the fun in that?” He leaned in, just this side of her personal space and looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes, resting his hands on the shelves on either side of her head, essentially trapping her in. “It’s actually really easy once you’ve understood the basics.” He left it open what he actually meant, but he knew that it would draw a reaction from her.

---

“They use…?” Gigi's brows furrowed for a moment before she realized what he tried to say, a grin spreading on her lips. “You were in a rowing team in college?” Her ears perked up right now, for once because she was thankful that there was a subject popping up that wasn't fueled with sex and even more so because athletics really were the kind of subject that always interested her more than anything. “That's the kind of vibrations they used on you guys? That's a little weird, what happened to just stretching it out or a massage simple as that?” Gigi asked laughing and even though she was probably hanging out in some of the finest gyms out there, she’d never heard about using vibrations to ease the muscles after a hard workout. The fact that he might have been messing with her crossed her mind for a moment, but she pushed that thought away again. “I thought people in college were all wild and experimental. I mean I dropped out of college after a semester to focus on modelling fully, but it seemed like everybody was going crazy there really!” Not that she could really judge it correctly, she had barely been in class or lectures, only actually there when it came to turning in papers or having to participating in a test really. Otherwise work already had been too crazy to be a full time student. “You think I have a stick up my ass too? I mean you should realize by now that I am not too familiar with any of those things...right? So, you think I’ve got a stick up my ass as well?”

Staring at the ring she was honestly lost. His size? The fact that the store clerk just said something about some kind of size on toys to fit around his penis made her mind spin a little. She was totally confused. One hundred percent confused. How would the woman even guess something? “Really? You think that low of your brother?” Gigi asked grinning a little, not sure what else to say but to roll her eyes, pushing any thoughts of what to do with this little ring aside. “It just all seems so...plastic-y and fake. How could that compare to the real deal. To skin on skin and all that?” The blonde asked when he tried to tell her how it was about different options. “I feel like gadgets make it way more mechanical than anything else!” She declared sternly, and she was really set on the subject. She just couldn't imagine some vibrating piece of plastic would make her feel as good, let alone better than a man. She was a bit confused when his arms trapped her against a shelf, their eyes locking as she listened to him, his words making her once again blush softly, her lips parting to say something but instead shut up again. “You sound like you think I need to learn a thing or two. Are you offering to teach me, is that what this is about?”

---

Alfie could all but see Gigi’s mind trying to wrap around what he had just told her, and it was hard not to laugh at her confused face. „I was, yes - for three years, my whole time at Oxford, actually. We did some of the punting competitions, too, just for fun, but rowing was the main focus, when it came to sports.“ He actually missed the early morning rowing sessions, the way you trudged outside half-asleep until you were on the water, and suddenly felt wide awake and alive, no matter how much or little sleep you’ve had the night before. „You have to imagine vibrations like passive movements, which means that, given a certain frequency, your muscles loosen up and relax instead of tightening up further. It’s better than stretching, and less damaging to the muscles, because with warm-downs, you can overdo it to stop feeling sore. In the end, you cannot move for a few days, because your muscles locked up.“ His eyes found hers. „Though, let’s be realistic here, these devices are used in a whole other way.“ Her comment finally made him laugh and he nodded. „We were all that and more, but sports have a great tradition in English colleges, so that’s taken seriously - or as seriously as can be, when there was a party the night before.“ Gigi had misunderstood him, he realised and laid a hand on her shoulder gently. „No, love, I meant those types who were all about the competition, and would throw a tantrum, if it didn’t go their way. Best to find a balance between both worlds - it’s not easy sometimes, but what’s college without being a little wild and experimental at least?“ It had nothing to do with her experience or lack thereof, when it came to sex toys. „What kind of wild do you think we were?“ he chuckled.

„I actually don’t, but I love to annoy him - and since I’m his little brother I get to do so with glee.“ Plus they really had different sizes, but that’s not something he would have to tell Gigi. Sure, the real deal, slick, hot, sticky sex was great, but some people just needed the added stimulus to get themselves or each other to the brink of insanity and beyond. And if their sex life was enriched by little devices, costumes or whips and such, then all the power to them. Not everything was his kind of deal, either, but some things could be interesting to try out on someone - especially, when they had never had the pleasure before. With the shop assistant still looking for his gift for his brother, they remained alone in the aisle and somewhat hidden from people coming in the door, too. „They’re not meant to replace sex - at least not when you’re with someone else, it’s simply about taking your satisfaction to another level. You should try them first, before you brush them off so easily. Who knows, maybe you’ll acquire a taste for it?“ Alfie hadn’t even realised that he had her with her back against the shelves until she looked up at him - or rather just looked at him. She was really only a few centimetres smaller than he was. The words coming out of her mouth surprised him, but he managed a small smile and nonchalant shrug in reply. “I think you shouldn’t be so easily prejudiced against something you’ve never tried out. I’m never against broadening someone’s horizons -” Leaning in a little more, he found her eyes again, suddenly serious. It hadn’t crossed his mind before, but - “But it should be clear that it’s something you want to learn - I’m not going to Jamie Dornan you into fake BDSM stuff or foreplay with sex toys, that’s simply not on.” Didn’t even matter what he thought about it, he was giving her an out, since he had pushed her as far in the first place.

---

When he mentioned people throwing tantrums when things didn't go their way and being all about the competition Gigi grinned. It was almost as if he described her during high school. Captain of the Volleyball team and very competitive, always wanting to succeed in whatever she did. It was like her trainer had often said, she stood in her own way trying too hard to be perfect. Not that she was about to tell Alfie all that, at least not right now. “I feel bad for your brother, I at least realized that giving Bella something from here will probably backfire..and I’d be mortified knowing that she’ll actually use it, but you seem to really embrace this idea of your brother. Which is slightly weird and I feel like on a psychological level there is something deeply scarred and weird behind this obsession!” Gigi teased him laughing, the banter seriously easy right now. Maybe she had come across the wrong way though, she by no means judge the useage of little helpers and devices that could spice up sex, she simply had not yet felt the need for anything like that, nor had time ever been right perhaps. “I am not brushing them off by any means, I just think that...I think there is so much power to making someone else feel pleasure with your own body that is doesn't seem..all that needed. Maybe I am wrong and shall I ever find out I might regret saying that though!”

Alfie leant in even closer, the space between them not exactly large at this point and strangely enough she didn't mind all that much. “There we go, you do think you could broaden my horizon!” The blonde replied grinning, the fact that he said it out loud making her smirk a little. He wasn't all that wrong though perhaps. It wasn't like she ever had really experimented before. Usually she was the kind of girl to be in a relationship after 10 minutes and get hardcore commited to said relationship to a point where it almost seems clingy at times. “Are you mocking Jamie Dornan right now? Because that 50 Shades ice cube thing looked extremely hot!” She replied teasingly, admittedly she had seen the movies, read the books even at an age that for sure had not been appropriate and while they were terrible the idea of not being treated like a princess or like she was made out of sugar had been intriguing of some sort. “If you wouldn't do that though...what is it you’d do to me? Or wanna do?” Gigi had no idea where the sudden courage came from, maybe the fact that she didn't feel uncomfortable at all with him so close. Maybe the fact that she had spent the last months doing what people told her was right, working and burying everything else so deep down that she didn't even have to think about anything but work or maybe it was the fact that after almost a year of being single she had not for even a minute really embraced being single...maybe this was the time to do it?

----

„Ah, you do know what I’m talking about,“ he sing-songed, his grin matching her own. Whether she knew someone who was solely focused on competition or whether it was herself who got into it too massively to be able to take an objective step back, he didn’t know, but it didn’t matter much, either. Those types he was talking about had been the ones who had only had the competition in mind, who had pushed themselves - and others - to do better to the point of obsession. From what he had learnt about her so far, he couldn’t quite see her being that hard on others. Herself, maybe, but that was for everyone to decide for themselves. „It’s not a bad idea, you just say that to convince yourself it is. She’ll have sex with or without you giving her anything to play with, so honestly, what do you have to lose? Apart from a few mental images you might not want to have?“ Waggling his eyebrows at her amusedly, he added, „Don’t feel bad for him. My brother can be a massive dick, when he wants to - he sent me a bib and a feeding bottle for my last birthday, so I’m just taking a little revenge here.“ His lips pursed, he listened to her, his gaze never wavering from hers. Gigi had a point, of course there was no need for added help, but sometimes... it could be fun teasing one another just beyond the usual moves. For some it worked, for others it didn’t, but mainly it was something that had to be talked about beforehand and agreed upon. There was no use, if you surprised the other and made them run in the end. „This kinda makes me intrigued to find out just how powerful you are,“ he said eventually, an amused glint in his eye.

„If your name is „someone“, sure,“ he teased her back. „You’re really smug right now, you know that?“ His lower lip caught between his teeth, and he couldn’t help but think about the situation for a moment. What were they doing right now? Sure, teasing Gigi to see her blush and fluster was one thing, but was he actually considering this? “You can bet I am,” he began, but then arched his eyebrows and grinned at her. „Someone sure has seen the films, it seems.“ There was nothing that had turned him off a film more than reading the summary of 50 Shades of Grey. Some of his mates went to see the film with their girlfriends and just from the looks on their faces, he had known that it was as bad, if not worse, as expected. „That film gives bondage and sex toys a bad reputation, let’s face it. Plus, what woman would really want to have a guy walk all over her like that and still return?“ Tilting his head to the side, he gave her a small, suggestive smile. „Who’s to say I wouldn’t? If ice cubes is something you’d be comfortable with... that’s definitely a start.“ Her questions would have surprised him more a few minutes ago, but by now - he still wasn’t sure what had made him corner her like that, but the result was unexpected and somehow quite enticing. If she wouldn’t back down now, neither would he. „There’s a lot I could do to you, if you let me, with or without the help of this." Alfie waved a hand around. The shop had everything they could dream of and more, so the choice was there’s actually. „I’d like to prove to you, that using toys doesn’t mean that anything’s broken or wrong with the way you’re intimate, it’s just an alternative you can enjoy. So we’d have to test your theory over body versus toys, love... but we were talking toys, so...“ Out of a whim, he took her hand and drew her back to the small toys they had been standing in front of before. „One of those small eggs, perhaps? You could use it yourself, even. No outside control - you didn’t seem to like that, did you?“ Moving along the shelves, he looked at the displayed objects, but most seemed a little out there to try out for a first-timer. Especially a timid one like her. „Don’t think I have to ask you whether you have silk scarves around at home, I’m sure you do - blindfolding someone, that’s already one sense gone, and it’s heightening every other...“ He forewent the bondage stuff, however, because while he liked it rough as much as the next person, he wasn’t into using pain to add to pleasure - and somehow he didn’t see Gigi suddenly loving to be subjected to pain, either.

---

“Captain of the Volleyball team. My trainer always took me off the field when I was getting too upset with my own play or too hard on myself. Good life lesson, drove me completely insane back then. I am boxing now which is the same kind of thing, something I can just try to get better at every time and push myself!” It was what had caused her so much trouble in her work too lately, the constant need and want to be perfect, to be the best and to do all of it with the biggest smile on her face. It had not been easy and god knew she had not exactly succeeded in it lately. If there was one thing she knew it was that Bella would do her thing, whatever that included no matter what Gigi tried or would say, but that didn't mean she’d push the matter of her sister having sex at all. While she had planned to do it as some ‘here have that and stay away from dangerous men’ she could sense that this idea would completely backfire eventually. “The mental images are terrible though, I think it's a really bad idea. Your brother though, he sounds very mean now and I don't feel bad for him anymore, not even in the slightest!” The blonde model couldn't help but laugh when she was told that she seemed smug right now. “I am smug and you just told me you’d be intrigued to know how powerful I am...who is smug now?”

“Only the first to be honest, haven't had the time or nerve to watch the second one though!” In the midst of Fashion Month her last thought had been to go and see the second part of the 50 shades trilogy. “Well she is stupid, I don't appreciate her at all, but I do think his character has an appeal, minus the I don't wanna be touched thing, that's just weird and I still don't get that. Like...he wants sex but he doesn't wanna be touched? And I swear if my boyfriend would give me my own room in his house I’d throw a temper tantrum! Okay forget what I said, his character doesn't have an appeal at all, he is even worse than her thinking about it!” The blonde couldn't help but laugh at herself, shaking her head softly. Her laughter died a little when he mentioned that he’d be down for the ice cubes if she’d wanted to and suddenly she didn't know what made her even say it out loud. It kind of just slipped out there. “See...you are the smug one!” She simply told him when he told her that there’d be lots of things he’d do to her if she’d agree. “Not at all a fan of outside control, glad you understood that so quickly, but..you know sometimes you just need to give that up, I hate that though and I am not saying I will give it up!” She was rambling, maybe because she was still not sure what to say about this weird little vibrating thing in front of them. It still crept her out slightly. “We keep talking about me not really having done any of this yet, leaves the question if you have really...because so far you were really quiet on that subject!” She suddenly realized, crooking her head a little while she looked up at him. When he mentioned the silk scarves the model choked on her own laughter, there was no way in hell that she’d use any of her own silk scarfs for anything involving the bedroom. They were too precious for anything to happen to them. “A gentleman offers his tie, not my scarfs!” While she wasn't necessarily into BDSM, the entire blindfolding situation wasn't making her half as uncomfortable as most of the things they had previously been talking about today.

---

That explained a lot, actually - but many of them were highly ambitious and had been from a young age. And Alfie hadn’t been an exception. He had always known what he wanted and how he wanted it, and while he had listened to his parents, he had always tried to make the best of it and do things his way, too. Alfie rolled his eyes at her good-naturedly and nudged her shoulder. „You know, you should get her edible underwear, that’s probably the least „bad“ thing they have here, and if she’s hungry, she can eat it herself. Best of both worlds. Fed and happy.“ His brother wasn’t that much of a dick, but they teased each other quite a lot, and their banter was driven to new heights every year. It was nice to know, though, that she was on his side on this. „Still you,“ he chuckled, „mostly, because you just had to repeat it. You’re kinda proud of yourself right now, aren’t you?“ Fifty shades of Grey was just about the worst film, book or anything else in the history of ever, at least in his eyes. He could see the appeal in wanting to dominate someone, or letting someone dominate you, but the way it was apparently depicted in the film was mostly emotional and psychological abusive and he wasn’t here for any of that. If a woman wanted to be with him, it should be, because she wanted to, not because she was made to think that she should. There was no way around it, he couldn’t help but laugh at her conclusion and nodded. „Not that hot anymore, is he? It’s okay, you know what you want, that’d make a guy like him run for the hills.“

Alfie stepped back and gave her a little space to breathe, feeling like he had come a little too close. Her reply, though, had him tilt his head again and, while he put his hands in his pockets, he leaned in again and remarked, „Maybe a little, but you’re far too intriguing not to think about the possibilities.“ Again, he chuckled. „Duly noted, and you don’t have to give up anything you don’t want to, just let me give you a new experience you might end up enjoying.“ Funny, how he wasn’t even treating it as a possibility anymore, and he liked that she considered it as much as he did, even though she wasn’t particularly convinced of the sex toys in this shop. Or in general. Maybe she would never be, but at least she couldn’t say that she didn’t try it. „You never asked,“ he told her with a small shrug, and smiled. „And now you might have to specify - used on someone else? Or on myself?“ By now he was back to teasing her, but her asking him about it told him that she was less weirded out by all of this than she had been earlier, even seemingly having fun - at least that was what he took from her laughter at his suggestion. “Fine, my ties it is. Anything else you might want to try? I’m not into flogging, so no riding crops, love.” It was his time to laugh about their conversation, which by now had more of a preparatory shopping list vibe than simple flirting. The shop assistant came back with a box in her hands. “Have you found anything else you might want?” she asked, and Alfie turned to look at Gigi. “Last possibility to opt out of this,” he told her in a low voice, realising only now that he was still holding her hand. He squeezed it gently. “You’re always allowed to say no. I won’t do anything you’re not completely up for.”

---

“Knowing what you want can make guys run easily anyways. Especially with a family like mine who can basically make you their new son in law within 3 minutes. Then my whole work family will get into the picture and by that time you need extremely strong nerves. Or lots of weed, that one helped the ex a lot!” Gigi couldn't help but laugh at herself with that explanation, but it was true. Her family consisted out of a hundred people or so it felt and that just managed to scare people like crazy. “And with you I meant men, not you in particular!” The model cleared up, just so it was said and he didn't think that she was already talking about him in any other way than this whole casual ‘oops bumped into you in a sex shop and now we are flirting’ kind of way. Gigi didn't know when they went to actually stop talking about possibility and sort of went to legit talk about the whole deal here. “Uhm...both?” Gigi asked a little irritated for a moment when she had asked him about having used sex toys. She had not even thought of the two possibilities. That he could have used it on others or on himself. “You know, for talking such a big game of making me feel new highs you’re not really giving out much details here!” She was so confused to be honest. She had never really been a hookup kind of person at all, but this felt like something that was a possibility right now.

“You’re not arguing with me on the ties?” She asked grinning softly for a moment, honestly she was way too used to Fashion People and most men she knew were, so really, it was slightly surprising for her that he’d not worry about his ties getting messed up or what not. “What a shame..:!” She pouted at him before breaking out into laughter when he mentioned that he was not into flogging. “I’ve been riding horses for all my life, I’d hate to look at a riding crop from now on and see it in a different light!” She admitted laughing still before the shop assistant came back with a wrapped box for Alfie, well for Alfie's brother really. To say that Gigi was sure about all of this would be an exaggeration, she was still not sure about any of the products around so to find words wasn't really easy. Alfie was super adorable though, reassuring her and all of that...so why would she feel the need so say no? She was 21, single, he was single, there was no reason not just explore a little fun thing here, right? “I am not saying no...im just saying you choose or I’ll pee my pants probably!”

---

“I think it really depends on how you voice your opinions and desires, and how the other person reacts to it all,” he remarked, chuckling at her comment about her family taking him - or anyone, apparently - in within minutes. It sounded very much like his own family, who were always ready to make his friends feel right at home, and accept whomever he brought home as a date. “Your whole work family will get involved? Should I be worried?” An amused grin played on his lips and he shook his head. “No mind-addling substances needed, I’d just pretend not to know what they’re talking about. I’m good at that.” With a shrug, he moved on from their topic, although it didn’t feel as weird as it should have, probably. Alfie couldn’t help the boyish grin spreading over his face, when he realised that she wasn’t all amused with his rather general reply. “I thought you liked a man of mystery - or one that didn’t like to be touched, though I think you got over that by now,” he told her casually, then pursed his lips and actually thought about what she was asking about. College had been an interesting time to experiment and he had done so with glee and lots of enthusiasm to learn new things, about others as well as himself. “Sex toys of all kinds can be interesting with the right person, and vibrations are quite nice, when they’re placed rightly. Handcuffs or ties are fun to play around with, being at the mercy of someone is really hot.” He winked at her. “Still wondering I’m intrigued how powerful you and your body really are?” Going back to thinking about his run-ins with sex toys, he concluded, “I’m not much into getting rimmed, or anal in general, it just doesn’t do anything for me. Neither does hardcore pain, though I don’t mind the odd bite. I’d never ask you to hit me, though, even less now that I know you box.” Again, he laughed, and nudged her shoulder gently to show her he didn’t mean it as meanly as it had come out.

The shop assistant withdrew with his present and set it down on the counter. He paid her no attention, his focus on Gigi solely. “No, why should I?” Eyebrow quirked, he looked at her curiously. Ties weren’t his favourite to wear and he was happy when he didn’t have to, in his private life as much as in public, during awards shows or other events. It seemed a little out there for her, though, and he was quietly wondering why. “See? I spared you the mental images already,” he exclaimed, and bowed a little. “You ride, though? That’s a great sport. So riding, volleyball, boxing, what else is there you excel at, Miss Hadid?” It didn’t come unexpected that she wanted him to choose the toys, but since he still didn’t quite know what she preferred, he might have to get a selection and just let her try out what she felt comfortable enough with. “What else would you like to try?” he asked, walking into her personal space once more. He liked the way she reacted to him, and their topic of choice at the moment, although he was careful not to crowd her in too much. “What’s your favourite flavour?” he suddenly asked, when he realised that they would need lube, and that most likely this shop had whatever they might wish for.

---

“Placed rightly?” Now the question really was what vibrating objects to place where, especially on a man to be fair. This was the kind of talks Gigi would be having with Bella usually, or any of her sisters or half sisters, not with a man, especially since she flushed the moment she caught herself trying to put the idea of vibrating objects and Alfie together. “I don't mind the ties, think that's the one thing any person has experimented around with before. It's that mix of giving up control and also being taken care of I guess that is kind of nice!” There it went, she had just thought there was a moment of them actually having similar experiences with something and there he went, talking about being rimmed which was way too much for her head to wrap around. “So it's boobs for you?” Gigi asked trying say something, anything that wasn't going to leave her speechless. “I mean people usually either go for boobs or ass, right?” The blonde concluded before she grinned “I do box, very well even, so you probably do not actually wanna get hit by me at all!” It was true, Gigi packed quite a punch even though it wasn't what he really meant, or what she had meant ultimately. “Is biting much about pain? I think it's more of a marking kind of thing...claiming what is yours..!”

“In my family it's tradition to excel at everything we do, we don't do things just for the sake of it. It's how I was raised. But yes, riding is a big thing. We, my sister and I, we were both trained as equestrians, but gave it up when we moved to New-York. I also do Ballet, but that's just to lengthen and lean those muscles. It kind of goes hand in hand with the Boxing, both great workouts, but very different and effective. Nothing glittery, nothing large, nor big or….weird!” Those were her limits basically and she couldn't help but laugh at her own statement and while she was talking to him about this and how this was all very much a real conversation she still had not really wrapped her head around the fact that they’d eventually actually do that. “Flavors?” Her eyes widened and while she was about to reply the shop assistant seemed to be all too eager to help once again “If you don't like the idea of flavor we always have neutral lubes, or of course ones that actually serve more purpose even, maybe one that adds a bit of a tingle?” The woman asked almost overly excited and walked away probably to get what she had been talking about, all while Gigi stared at Alfie with a confused, yet amused look on her face. “I was gonna say peanut butter but I don't know if I wanna mess that flavor up with added mental images….so...why again would we need this? And don't tell me the actual usage of lube or I might scream!” She warned teasingly, actually well aware what lube was for, she might have been slightly new to all of this..sex toy thing, but lube was something she knew.

„I can see you thinking about it,“ he teased her with a laugh, it was adorable to watch her blush, the redness of her skin vanishing under the hoodie. „Honestly, it’s nothing too out there - at least for me. As for ties, sure, everyone has done that, question is whether they actually enjoyed it or not. And - what the result of being tied up was. See, getting teased to the point of ecstasy, keeping them there and going on until they descend into sweet release? That’s powerful. That’s where you want to be taken.“ Her abrupt change of topic had him look at her worriedly for a moment, then he relaxed and shrugged his shoulders. „Anyone who says they’re not a breast person is lying. Tits are awesome. Though I very much prefer the whole person to just a part of them - so much more to discover. Since you were asking - what are you?“ There was no need for her to reply to him, but he was curious and their banter was too good to let go of completely. Surely, they would have to talk this whole deal through eventually, properly, that was - if there was the off-chance of her not wanting to do it, he wouldn’t. That was one thought that remained at the back of his mind throughout their conversation. „I’ll make sure to never have you punch me, then. Not into pain, remember?“ Now that she said it, the thought of leaving a mark her was on his mind, and kinda overwhelmed any other - damn it, it was hard to focus, when she looked at him like that. „You’re right about that, but it’s also very much about finding that point between pleasure and pain - you wouldn’t want to bite someone’s skin off… unless you’re a zombie. Then that might be your thing.“

Her family definitely sounded interesting - like everyone else, he had heard and read a few things about the Hadids, and whether they were all true or not, they came to mind, when she spoke of her family and how they were taught to excel. “For me it’s rowing, football and cricket. A bit of rugby with mates, maybe. They’re all just to keep fit and active, and apart from rowing they can be played in-between takes.” Her requests weren’t all out there, and he had to laugh at the “nothing glittery” part, anyone who said models were alike lied big time. “Okay, that’s not too bad. Any colour of choice?” The shop assistant interrupted them, and for once Alfie growled a little under his breath, since she, yet again, made it all sound way more complicated than it should be. “Maybe the peanut butter would blush and hide when it knew what we had planned?” he said, head bent so he could mutter in her ear without the shop assistant hearing him. He found that he liked being close to her, and since she didn’t seem to mind, he stuck to it. Her. “It’s honestly just a precaution, because most devices can be cold or feel weird, whether as with lube -” he stopped talking to look at her and grin back. “Since you don’t want me to tell you about its use, you might just have to find out what else you can do with it. And - yes, flavoured, because the neutral stuff doesn’t really taste all that great.” As the shop assistant scurried away, motioning them to follow her, he found himself rooted to the spot, lips pursed. “So we have ice cubes, ties, tiny toys and lube - and the edible underwear for your sister, let’s not forget about that.” Alfie rested his arm lightly across her shoulders, as they walked towards the back of the shop. “Pretty sure I don’t have to ask you about what you’d like to wear, so… I think we might be set?” All but for the fact that he still had to choose the toys they were to play with eventually. “It wasn’t that bad, was it? Coming here?” Oh, the pun - he rolled his eyes at himself.

---

It was true, most people had experienced ropes or ties at some point, even though Alfie had judged 50 Shades a lot it was kind of true that the books and the movie made the entire bondage thing, at least tying someone up a lot more ‘fashionable’ “I mean it's powerful I guess. I think it's just the idea of giving up control that works for many people. Especially when you can't exactly give up control in your everyday life. Also I think isn't it about trust? I don't even know, I am just guessing!” Gigi finally added grinning, to make sure that she wasn't talking about herself necessarily. “Well boobs are a god given thing, an ass though is something you work for, so really, bums all the way!” Gigi told him laughing but really, all of her friends had amazing behinds and there was not a doubt that this was quite hard work to keep it that way. “You should know the amount of squats happen backstage before the Victoria's Secret show, it's proof that bums are much better than boobs!” The blonde concluded laughing before she wondered about the next, somewhat interesting topic they were headed towards. “I just feel like marks aren't cute once you passed a certain age. In High school it's so on trend to have a love bite visible, now it's just work to cover them!” Now she did sound like she was actually much older than she was, but it was true, any kind of mark on her body would ultimately only result in more makeup and questions on set. “But it's true, that is all about a mix of pain and pleasure, mostly because it only feels right if you feel enough pleasure in that moment!” Otherwise she’d be sure to tell any guy to not mark her skin or leave bruises.

“I think I would hide whenever the peanut butter was around, not vice versa!” Gigi admitted laughing before she actually thought about the fact and it was true, she like peanut butter way too much to actually associate anything but PBJ Sandwiches with it. “You’re not good at selling this when you are telling me that it feels weird and cold which is exactly what I am already thinking and what is kind of why I am so very hesitant of this whole toys thing to begin with!” Looking at him she playfully rolled her eyes before she made a face “And why would I wanna taste it now? I wasn't planning on eating it so is taste really important?” When he again mentioned what they had on their ‘list’ she was wondering when they had gotten serious about this. Especially when she was getting serious about this. She couldn't actually tell if this was a good or an absolutely terrible idea. Part of her wanted to tell him how this wouldn't be something serious, how this was really one of the first times she even considered sleeping with someone she wasn't dating and then she almost wanted to add how she wasn't planning on dating someone right now, but who knew if this was even something to tell people. She was honestly just mighty confused right now, but weirdly enough not in a negative way. “I wanna object that I am still not sure about the underwear for my sister, I might just go to Agent Provocateur and get her something she’ll actually use, wear and...eventually will be enjoyed by someone else, a thought I hate! She just launched a pretty big thing in her career so an actual gift seems more in order...than underwear she could also eat! She’d love it if it was underwear made out of hot cheetos though!” When he mentioned that he’d be sure that she’d know what to wear she chuckled “Did you just admit that you’re like a visual guy? Underwear counts for you?” It took her a moment to realize why he had laughed and rolled his eyes at himself, the pun he made way more obvious to him apparently than it had been to her which by itself made her laugh “I am still not convinced about this trip here to be fair, but you made it much less frightening...that much is sure!”

---

„I don’t even know, she says - see, I don’t quite believe you, I say.“ The lack of flushing and floundering about gave her away, and it made him want to ask more about what she had been experimenting with, but somehow - it was more fun to have her give away what she was comfortable with. Anything else… he would either find out eventually, or he wouldn’t. It didn’t take away from their banter however, and her explanation as to why bums were superior to tits had him grin broadly. „Can I remind you that generally you’re born with an arse, too? And if you have an arse like a stone slab… that’s a bit too much, there needs to be something to grab onto,“ he remarked. While he had almost forgotten that he was actually talking to a supermodel here, she was sure to remind him of it by commenting on backstage moments, which no one would ever see, unless they were allowed back there. „Now you’re just being unfair by putting such mental images in my head in the first place, love.“ Gigi certainly had a point about leaving marks on someone, they weren’t cute after a certain age, although he found that there was a large difference between a small red spot and a large haematoma. The latter firmly belonged in the Twilight section and wasn’t what he had had in mind, at all. „It’s a spur of the moment thing, more than anything. If you don’t feel it, you won’t let it happen. That’s an easy enough rule to follow, I’m sure. Poor sap who is told no, though.“ Once more he smiled at her - how they had gone from ties to tits to bite marks was beyond him, but he was too amused to try and find something else to talk about at the moment.

„Afraid of peanut butter - who’d have thought?“ he muttered and let his smile widen to another bright grin. „I’m just being honest, I thought you’d appreciate that. If you want me to lie to you, that’s possible, too, of course. No matter what, it’ll feel odd for you at first, unusual, too, and you’ll just have to trust yourself or whomever is using them on you to make you feel good. The lube is just to help you along, since it’s warm and scented…“ Alfie almost laughed at her facial expression, and even more so at her question. She could so easily match his wit strike for strike, but when it came to the easy things… he didn’t even know whether he should tell her why it should have a flavour that they might prefer. In the end, he left it at, „No one said it was you who’d have to taste it.“ Being that close to her, he could feel the hesitation rolling off her in waves, and suddenly felt bad for having pushed her into a corner that easily. It was one thing to tease someone about it, banter with them and take them out of their comfort zone, it was a whole other to actually go through with it. Whatever was, or maybe wasn’t, going to happen, it was her decision entirely, and he knew he would accept it whichever way it went. For now, he would simply focus on the present, and let her make up her mind about it. „You could always ask, whether they have hot Cheetos underwear lying around. Maybe that’s a limited edition only?“ They made their way to the counter, where he leaned against it, while the shop assistant finished up their, well his, purchase. „I can admit that I do like it when someone makes an effort - though it’s not really the underwear that counts, but the person in it. And, of course, being able to take it off them." He paid for his brother’s present and received a small intricately designed bag for it. „Well, that concludes it, I guess,“ he smiled at her. „You can message me, or call, when you’ve made up your mind about it - I’m game, if you are, but it is, and remains, your decision entirely.“ Having said that, he leaned in and kissed her cheek, then left the shop with a small spring in his step.

#para;#longest thing ever

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