#real words written for a cw teen drama

[hayscodings]

the american capitalist seduced by the soviet sleeper agent

[lunapaper]

Album Review: 'Past // Present // Future' - Meet Me @ The Altar

Part of the current pop punk resurgence that includes WILLOW, pinkshift, Olivia Rodrigo and (ugh) Machine Gun Kelly, Meet Me @ The Altar have fought to defend the genre at all costs, sticking faithfully to the blueprint mapped out by their forebears Paramore and Fall Out Boy on their 2021 EP, Model Citizen. 

Not much has changed on their debut album, Past // Present // Future. The propulsive beats and snarling riffs remain, along with the cliché-riddled angst that has long made pop punk the subject of ridicule.  

It’s rock by committee courtesy of Jonas Brothers producer John Fields, hell bent on watering down each guitar riff and compressing every vocal, hiding it all behind an impenetrably glossy veneer. In other words, it’s more Radio Disney that RIOT! 

‘Say It (To My Face)’ incorporates some drum n’ bass into its emo-lite punk thrash as vocalist Edith Victoria taunts back at the haters ‘You're so irrelevant, almost didn't commit/Almost didn't write you a second verse/Really wish I could stay, gotta fly to LA/Play a show at The Wiltern.’ I guess I’m considered one of them now (Though Australian homes don’t normally have basements).  

‘Try’ is Sum 41-esque, offering high school-level wisdom in the form of ‘I go through all the same things too/It sucks, it’s true.’ ‘Hello in there Mr. I don’t care/I’ve had better conversations with my wall and my dog,’ she later muses on ‘Same Language,’ its chorus eerily reminiscent of Katy Perry’s ‘Waking Up in Vegas,’ while ‘T.M.I.’ is rather Avril-like as Victoria bares her soul over fuzzy guitars and explosive drums. 

And so the clichés go: ‘I think I'm the worst/Criticize everything 'til it hurts’ (from ‘T.M.I’) ‘Still stuck in your mothers basement/Talk trash, but you're like a million miles away’ (from ‘Say It (To My Face’)) ‘Don't be afraid to let go of the pain/Flowers only bloom if you get through the rain’ (from ‘Rocket Science’), each one more vapid than the last. 

Some of this can be attributed to a trio of early twentysomethings still navigating their way through life, love and other anxieties. Most of it, however, reeks of others trying to mould the band into something they’re totally not, namely writer/producer John Ryan, who co-wrote most of the album’s tracks. 

He’s written for such artists as Harry Styles, Maroon 5, Rita Ora, Pitbull, Jason Derulo, DJ Snake, Fifth Harmony and, funnily enough, Katy Perry and Nick Jonas. He also co-wrote some of One Direction’s biggest hits, including ‘Story of My Life,’ ‘Steal My Girl’ and ‘Best Song Ever.’ 

Why some cheesy pop maestro was assigned to work with a queer pop punk trio of colour (the first ever signed to Fueled By Ramen) is anyone’s guess. Rather than make the songs feel like their own in any way, Ryan and the band just churn out a bunch of bland pop punk tunes about makeups and breakups indistinct from their peers. 

Though there are glimmers of what could’ve been: the hazy ‘Kool’ echoes the headiness, thrill and nauseating anxiety you feel when crushing hard on someone. ‘It’s Over for Me’ has a jackhammer-style energy, while standout ‘A Few Tomorrows’ is dream-spun folk pop straight out of the early 2000s, with Victoria’s snarky, razor-sharp wail softened into a soothing coo. It sort of reminds me John Mayer’s ‘Back To You,’ the kind of song that would play during a montage after the inevitable breakup scene of a teen film or in a CW drama (‘Back To You’ was in Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!, btw). 

Meet Me @ The Altar’s debut comes just as the pop punk renaissance seemingly reaches its saturation point. Everything here is just so bland: The riffs are repetitive, the writing uninspired and the production squeaky clean and painfully edgeless. 

And it’s a shame, because the band have proven in the past that they can do raw and real on 2019’s Bigger Than Me EP, a true love letter to pop punk that showcases the trio’s deft musicality and knack for punchy hooks, from the math rock-style breakdown on ‘Beyond My Control’ to the post-hardcore urgency on ‘Tyranny.’ Hell, even Model Citizen dabbled in a little nu-metal.  

2018’s Changing States is also worth a listen: The vocals are imperfect and the songs sprawling and loose, lacking any real structure. It sounds like it was recorded in a wardrobe, but that’s what adds to its beauty and charm. I’d even go so far as to compare it to Fall Out Boy’s earlier albums.  

What could’ve been a powerful mission statement for the band, a chance to expand on their scrappy, bratty charm, becomes yet another generic power pop record. Past // Present // Future will probably be an album that Meet Me @ The Altar end up distancing themselves from it once they creatively find their feet again. Hopefully no one linked to the JoBros will be involved in the next one... 

- Bianca B. 

[sammysreelreviews]

Counting Down My Top Ten Underrated Tv Shows Of The Decade

Hello all! This post starts my 2010’s countdowns! After this there will be five more countdowns all about the best in tv and film from the last decade! I’m so excited to get these out and I hope you’re as excited as I am! In today’s world of streaming there are so many tv shows that some of the very best ones get looked over or don’t get the respect they deserve. I’ve compiled this list of shows that were very underrated in my opinion and there will be ***SPOILERS!!!*** Enjoy!

10. Euphoria (2019- ) HBO

Ok so I wouldn’t call Euphoria underrated but it didn’t make my other list and it had to be seen. Zendaya and Jacob Elordi had some outstanding performances and the show gave us the iconic Maddy Perez. The outfits, the acting, the cinematography this teen show is the best addition to HBO and I can not wait for season 2. #Fuckshyguy118!

9.  Elite (2018- ) Netflix

Speaking of teen shows, Netflix brought out the big guns when they dropped this Gossip Girl like Spanish drama. The show starts off as a who dunnit but ends up being so much more when you get to know the unrealistically good looking characters. I love a teen drama and Elite is one of the best ones EVER. By the way, I know they’re semi problematic but I stan Nadia and Guzman! This is me officially saying they’re my Elite OTP! Do not come at me!

8. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (2015-2019) CW

This was a show I was never interested in at first because honestly I’m not a musical person but I started this a few months ago out of boredom and my god it deserved every award it’s ever received and more! Although the protagonist is someone you really can’t root for, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend goes over important topics including mental health. The actors all worked their asses off and Donna Lynne Champlain deserves so much for recognition for her performance as Paula! I’ll miss this kooky show so much even though it only took me a couple weeks to watch it all cause I’m insane.

7. The End of the F***ing World (2017- ) Netflix

This show is so random and weird and sad and funny and everyone needs to watch it. James (Alex Lawther) and Alyssa (Jessica Barden) are the definition of an odd couple but for some reason they have you rooting for them. Season 2 gave us the closure we all needed from season one but I really hope they don’t stretch it to three seasons.

6. Killing Eve (2018- ) BBC America

I’ve brought Killing Eve up before so I’ll make this short. Having two women in a cat and mouse chase while having random comedic moments is so REFRESHING. The European scenery and Villanelle’s iconic outfits also help elevate the show. Jodie Comer is so captivating as Villanelle and deserved that Emmy god dammit!

5. Brooklyn Nine Nine (2013- ) NBC

I mean... one of the funniest show I’ve ever seen. This is a show that could go on for ten more seasons and I wouldn’t complain. There’s so much I could say about this wonderful show but no words would sum it up. I just really wish Chelsea Peretti would come back full time as Gina.

4. Quicksand (2019- ) Netflix

Quicksand is only one season but it will stay with you forever. The show about a girl accused of her school shooting is absolutely addicting and heartbreaking. It’s a Swedish Netflix original and it’s one of the best original series they have. If you like Skins you’ll love this.

3. The Good Place (2016- ) NBC

The Good Place is a show that’s honestly just so unique. Whether are not you’re in the good or the bad place you must have to agree that this show is top tier comedy and should be required viewing. It also doesn’t hurt that D’Arcy Carden is the fucking best as Janet and Manny Jacinto is a total smoke show.

2. Good Trouble (2019- ) Freeform

Good Trouble is a spin-off of the groundbreaking show The Fosters. The show follows sisters Callie (Maia Mitchell) and Marianna (Cierra Ramirez) as they navigate adulthood in LA. I love Good Trouble because it’s so real and inclusive. This has one of the most diverse casts on television and they tackle hard topics such as, women getting paid less, police brutality against black people, mental health, and body image with such ease. Not only that but they have a male who’s bisexual who has healthy relationships with men and women. Good Trouble is honestly groundbreaking and I have no idea why it hasn’t won Globes.

1. Dear White People (2017- ) Netflix

This is the 181882nd time I’ve written about this show and as a black girl living in a mostly white area it means the world to me. Marque Richardson needs to be recognized for his performance as Reggie! Season 4 is the last season and I’m so sad that it’s ending. Please watch the god damn show!!!!

[thejonzone]

Riverdale is the Best Show You’ve Written Off

About once a month, a tweet will go around, reading something like “I can’t believe Netflix cancelled [SHOW X], but Riverdale is still on?!? *eye roll emoji, angry cussing emoji*.” It can be difficult to read tweets like these, because I like Riverdale. But I understand why it has struggled to keep an audience-- there is a perception that the show has gone completely off the rails, a chaos of hot actors in their mid-20s playing glamorous high school sociopaths, with the show choosing excess over narrative cohesion. That perception is pretty accurate. It’s an easy show to write off and easy to make fun of, especially because, as a CW show, it’s ostensibly geared to teens. So it brings me no pleasure to say that Riverdale, currently in its 5th season, has reached a renaissance, and its episodes so far this season represent its high-water mark. 

To appreciate how stunning and exciting Riverdale’s new direction is, it’s important to understand how we got here.

In the first season, a murder in the titular town revealed an underbelly of thugs, power brokers, and shady backroom rulers, all vying for control with gothic morbidity. What followed after that season though, was something else entirely. 

Riverdale, ramping up during Seasons 2 through 4, became a beautiful mess. I think it’s important to state that no other show on television is even attempting to do what Riverdale did/is doing. The show is, at any one point, 5-7 wholly different shows. There is a season’s worth of plot per episode. It’s storytelling mania and in-real-time dementia. I don’t remember what happened at the end of last episode because SO much happened. And besides, coherence is overrated! Give me hot actors, give me drug-addicted mobsters, give me creepy principals! On Riverdale, the parents are both former teen heartthrobs and serial killers, children operate underground speakeasies, and for some reason not one therapist has realized they could make a fortune helping our cast work through the intense psychological terror and emotional abuse they receive every episode.

This show is beyond pastiche, hyper-loaded with reference. My roommate and I had a joke that the show’s third season could be mapped to a quadrant of influences: Twin Peaks, True Detective, The Sopranos, and Gossip Girl. At any point Riverdale was acknowledging and playing into the influence of one of these shows. Season Four doubled down on the show’s horror anthology tendency. No one wants you to miss the references being made. You know that menacing boarding school Jughead attends in Season Four? You’d be right If it reminded you of Donna Tartt’s A Secret History. After all, consider Jughead’s classmate, whose name is Donna Sweet. Maybe you picked up on the violence simmering underneath the surface of Jughead’s other classmate, Bret Easton-Elli--  I mean, Bret Weston-Wallis.

Every week, the show seems primed for failure, attempting to juggle more storylines than possible or even necessary. The show is like a house of cards that has already fallen, and yet the writers are somehow still haphazardly adding more cards to the top. “Be reasonable!” I would plead. To no avail. And that’s the thrill of it. The plotlines are secondary to the spectacle. The show is a celebration and parody of violent legacy dramas, camp, teen horror, canonical literature, and anything else it can stuff under the hood, as much an ode to other pieces of media as it is an original work itself. 

But now, something completely different is happening. The beginning of Season Five brought an end to the seasons-long saga the show felt trapped in. Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead graduated high school, and the show flashed forward seven years. What might be considered a hokey technique was one of the best decisions the writers ever did. Because now we have a blank slate for our main cast. The writers effectively cut the fat from three seasons of violent, ridiculous maximalism. And it’s psychically refreshing.

At the heart of any good sitcom, we just want to see our main characters hanging out together. Change is part of life, but it shouldn’t be in television. Which is why this new season is so exciting-- Riverdale is now in the process of bringing its four main characters back from their adult lives and re-engaging them in the deadly politics of their hometown. Pop Tate, the owner-manager of Pop’s, Riverdale’s diner, is retiring, and Archie gets the gang back in town to celebrate the man who helped make the diner such a great hang-out spot. In the words of Jughead, “You gave us a home, Pop.” Like so mant other sitcoms before it, Riverdale used Pop’s to establish its characters and their relationships to each other.

I grew up on Seinfeld so I’ve always been attracted to the idea of the diner. The pandemic has made me yearn even harder for the sitcom diner, that idealistic place where all my friends are, where people enter with problems to be solved, drama to be explained, good news to be celebrated. Riverdale’s acknowledgment of Pop and his diner as the show’s connective tissue is a grounding and human choice. It works fantastically to set up this upcoming season, where our gang must confront the newest nefarious plot for control over the soul of Riverdale.

No doubt the show will continue its pattern of naming and spoofing genre. Veronica, in her adult life, had an Uncut Gems-style few scenes where she works as a charismatic (of course) diamond merchant. She married a possessive, boring guy who’s only characteristic seems to be that his voice is *exactly* like Veronica’s megalomaniac dad, Hiram. Something something Freud, something something daddy sexy. And credit where credit is due, Mark Consuelos is really hot.

Jughead is a writer now, in the most white guy college freshman fantasy of being a writer possible. He attended the Iowa Writers Workshop as an undergrad, something that is definitely not possible. He’s written a hit book but now suffers from *gasp* writer’s block?? He’s a cool guy writer who, in his opening montage, gets recognized by, hit on, and then has sex with a college-aged fan. Back in Riverdale, Jug writes a speech for Pop’s retirement and sends it to his agent. His agent is smitten with the work, calling it “tragic americana” and proclaiming that Jughead’s next book will be titled “Elegy for a Small Town”. This is almost certainly a reference to J.D. Vance’s bad book, and I’m sure the show will be bringing in more elements of “tragic” “americana” as the season unfolds. 

Betty is FBI in training, because as the show has loved to tell us, Betty has “the serial killer gene”, but is using it for good. For the record, her dad was a serial killer, and her brother was a serial killer. And it’s not like her mom or sister can cast the first stone. Betty’s endured enough trauma to fill 100 lives with unending pain and I’m sure the show will have no trouble heaping more on top. Already in the new season we’ve seen flashbacks to some point during the time jump when Betty was taken hostage, in what’s clearly a homage to The Silence of the Lambs. 

And then there’s Archie. I don’t know if anyone knows what to do with the guy. Played by K.J. Apa, who is both really good-looking with his shirt off and a god-awful actor, Archie has been in the army. The show is using him to shill for the military-industrial complex. 

I’ve long joked that the Riverdale writers have no idea what they’re doing. But through a global pandemic affecting TV production and *the* major narrative complication in any high school-set show (graduation), the Riverdale writers have seamlessly transitioned the show to a new stasis. Past seasons are informing this one, but we aren’t bogged down by the details in this new season. The bigger joke, of course, is that the writers have known exactly what they’ve been doing this whole time, and I’m just an idiot. Well I mean, of course I’m an idiot. I use television to regulate my emotions and simulate a static friend group that doesn’t leave or change. And Riverdale is perfect for that. If a renaissance is a rebirth, well then my friends, cut the umbilical cord and save the placenta to put in pills, because Riverdale is cranking out episodes that are better than ever.

[aion-rsa]

The Best French TV Shows on Netflix

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When acclaimed supernatural series Les Revenants/The Returned aired on Canal+ in 2012, it emerged into a fairly barren landscape for French-language scripted TV drama. The story of a remote mountain town whose dead are mysteriously revived, its stylish, cinematic look and philosophical, grown-up approach to genre television had little precedent. While the French ‘polar’ or detective series had long been a television staple, France had almost no tradition of sci-fi, horror and fantasy TV shows – or at least, none taken seriously by its understandably cinephile-and-proud cultural gatekeepers.

In the last five years, coinciding with the global growth of scripted TV drama, that’s all changed. Crime thrillers still wear the crown, but alongside them, France and Belgium are producing and exporting more continuing television dramas and miniseries than ever. From Black Mirror-ish future-set Osmosis and consciousness-swapping Transfers, to cool Parisian teen Vampires and creepy horror Marianne, scripted French-language genre television is exploding. It’s early days and the market has been testing its breadth, which explains the profusion of shows below that haven’t lasted beyond a single series. When it works though, as in excellent comedy-drama Call My Agent, it really works, in France and around the world.

Political thrillers, comedies, psychological drama, rom-com… there’s never been such scripted variety on French television, and thanks to streaming services, it’s never been so accessible around the world. Here’s a guide to what’s currently available on Netflix.

SCI-FI & FANTASY

Osmosis (2019)

In near future Paris, a dating app matches singles with their soulmates by mining their brain data, but decoding true love comes at a price.

‘If science could guarantee true love, would you say yes?’ asks this atmospheric Parisian-set sci-fi series. If your answer is ‘oui’, then this thoughtful examination of relationships, technology, fate and free may give you pause.

Eight-episode series Osmosis was created by Audrey Fouché, a writer on hit French supernatural series Les Revenants / The Returned. It’s about 12 participants in an experimental scientific study designed to match people with their perfect partner using an AI named Martin (pronounced Mart-an in French, therefore much less funny). It attracted excellent reviews on release, including many favourable comparisons to Black Mirror, though Netflix frustratingly said ‘non’ to a second season.

Into the Night (2020)

When a mysterious cosmic disaster strikes Earth, survivors on an overnight flight from Brussels race to find refuge and escape the sun’s rays.

Inspired in part by Polish sci-fi novel The Old Axolotl (what is there not to enjoy about that combination of words?) written by Jacek Dukaj, Into the Night is Netflix’s first Belgian original series. The sci-fi thriller was created by Jason George, a producer on Narcos and The Blacklist, and its first season consists of six 40-minute episodes.

It’s the story of a planeful of passengers mid-flight when an environmental catastrophe causes the sun’s rays to start destroying all organic life. If the plane can outrun the sunrise by flying through different time zones, they might survive to fight its disastrous effects. A lot of them will, in fact, because a second season was ordered by Netflix in July 2020. Don’t go looking for depth necessarily with this one, it’s a twisty action sci-fi designed for bingeing and not for the ‘but would that really happen?’ brigade.

Transfers / Transferts (2017)

After a boating accident, woodworker and family man, Florian, wakes up in the body of an officer who leads a task force against illegal body transfers.

This six-episode sci-fi imagines a world where the technology has developed to transplant human consciousness from one body to another. Due to moral objections from the Church, the process is ruled illegal but continues underground, leading to the creation of a police task force which specialises in capturing unlawful ‘Transfers’. When a carpenter dies in an accident and awakens in the body of the man leading that task force, he’s thrown into the middle of a tense conspiracy.

This pacey thriller blending crime drama and sci-fi won a couple of awards on release, including a plaudit for the performance of Belgian lead Arieh Worthalter. Its co-creator Claude Scasso is part of the team on France’s hugely successful detective show Cain. Sadly despite all that, there’s no sniff of a second season.

Mortel (2019)

Determined to find his missing brother, high school troublemaker Sofiane ropes timid classmate Victor into a pact with a mysterious figure.

A rare excursion for France into the kind of teen supernatural TV more commonly found on America’s The CW, Mortel (a pun on French slang for cool, or whatever word means ‘cool’ these days – slammin’?) is the story of two high schoolers gifted with magical abilities. Teen Sofiane seeks an ancient power to help find his missing brother, and receives it courtesy of a Voodoo god. The catch is that this new-found power may only be used in conjunction with his oddball classmate, Victor.

Sofiane and Victor are thus thrown together by their magical pact, and the six-episode show sees the pair navigate teen life and supernatural danger at the same time. It was created by Frédéric Garcia, who made his name as a teen drama writer on Skam France. There won’t be a second season, and in all honesty, that’s not an enormous shame but genre fans looking for a change of scenery should get a kick from it.  

Marianne (2019)

Emma, a famous and successful French horror writer, is forced to return to her hometown after the woman who haunted her dreams fifteen years ago begins to re-appear. The work she writes is apparently a work of fiction, but how much is fact?

This eight-episode series about a successful writer who, having bled her teenage nightmares for book material, now faces its real-life return was warmly received by horror fans on its arrival in 2019. The eight-episode first season (sadly, it wasn’t renewed for a second) is packed with classic scares which, though familiar, were handled extremely well. The French setting added a new element for UK and US viewers more used to seeing such hauntings play out in English.

Created by Quoc Dang Tran and Samuel Bodin, the undeniably scary Marianne stars Call Me By Your Name’s Victoire Du Bois as hit novelist Emma Larsimon, but it’s undeniably the face of Mireille Herbstmeyer as Madame Daugeron you’ll be seeing in your own nightmares.

Vampires (2020)

A Parisian teenager who is half human, half vampire grapples with her emerging powers, and family turmoil as she is pursued by a secret vampire community.

The vampire mythos gets another go-around in this six-part coming-of-age drama about a Parisian teenager torn between two identities. Doina (Oulaya Amamra) is half-vampire, half-human. Her vamp mother has kept her on drugs to suppress her vampiric urges, but curiosity and teen rebellion lead Doina to explore her supernatural heritage.

The result is a stylish, blood-soaked, neo-noir teen show filled with sex and gore against the backdrop of the French capital. Yes, you’ve seen most of it all before, but as metaphors for adolescence go, vampirism’s one of the richest. The music-video aesthetic and developing mythology – who are The Community, the mysterious vampiric cult who want Doina to join them? What happened to her human father? – combined with the family drama make this very watchable, if not a total must-see.

Black Spot / Zone Blanche (2017)

A police chief and an eccentric new prosecutor investigate a string of grisly crimes and eerie phenomena in an isolated town at the edge of a forest.

A creepy town, a haunted forest and beaucoup de killings are the ingredients of this Belgian supernatural series. It’s the story of a local police chief in a fictional town surrounded by a vast forest filled with creepy secrets that makes the local murder stats six times the national average, attracting the attention of an out-of-town investigator.

Black Spot was created by Mathieu Missoffe, a writer on crime drama Spiral and the French portions of Netflix original Criminal. It’s extremely bingeable, and while the Twin Peaks comparisons are overstating the matter, its combination of folk horror and dark humour makes it memorable. There are currently two eight-episode seasons (the original title Zone Blanche translates more closely to Dead Zone, but we’re not the ones making the decisions around here). As yet, there’s no word on a third season, but neither has it officially been cancelled.

Twice Upon a Time / Il était une seconde fois (2019)

While still reeling from a breakup, Vincent receives a cube with extraordinary powers and seizes a change to reconnect with his ex – in the past.

This mournful sci-fi romance about a man who receives an object in the post that enables him to travel back in time to nine months earlier, when he attempts to resurrect a failed relationship with his ex (Skins and The White Queen‘s Freya Mavor) wasn’t exactly warmly received by fans of either genre. With only four half-hour episodes though, it does have brevity in its favour, as well as its own violin-laden, intense atmosphere. If you’re a fan of meditative science-fiction that poses moral questions and doesn’t provide all (or indeed some) of the answers, Twice Upon a Time could be for you. Make sure you watch it with subtitles though, because the US dubbed accents are a bridge too far.

CRIME THRILLER

The Forest / La Forêt (2017)

When a teen girl disappears from a village near the Ardennes Forest, local police and a concerned teacher begin to uncover a web of unsettling secrets.

Comparisons to Zone Blanche (see above) abound for The Forest, but this is a much more straightforward Broadchurch-style crime thriller. Set in the Ardennes in a small town where everybody knows everybody and they’re all hiding sordid secrets (you know the drill by now), it’s about the search for a missing teenage girl and years of strange disappearances and goings-on in the titular forest.

Reviews were generally good, with plenty of praise for the scenery and soundtrack, but the key thing about this one-series thriller is that the ending offers definitive answers to the many questions posed in the series. A bit clichéd, perhaps, but crime mystery fans should find plenty to enjoy in the twists and turns.

The Chalet / Le Chalet (2017)

Friends gathered at a remote chalet in the French Alps for a summer getaway are caught in a deadly trap as a dark secret from the past comes to light.

The backdrop of Chamonix in the French Alps is what makes this serviceable thriller worth a look. Its somewhat predictable ‘nasty things happen in a remote chalet’ story plays out against a stunning mountain setting, over two timelines. The six hour-long episodes are split between 2017, when a group of friends visits the titular chalet, and 1997, when a family moved there for a fresh start. Neither goes… well.

By no means a must-watch, it’s nevertheless a compact, eventful series for Francophile TV fans, from the makers of crime thriller Les Dames and popular long-running French detective series Julie Lescaut.

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The Mantis / La Mante (2017)

A serial killer, nicknamed ‘La Mante’ decides to collaborate with the police when a string of murders that copycat her style suddenly appear.

Try to ignore the fact that the main character is called Damien Carrot and this six-part crime thriller will feel all the more gruesome. It’s already very, very gruesome and merits its many comparisons to The Sinner and Luther’s heightened world of psychopathic murderers and nasty death scenes. Apparently Stephen King’s a fan.

It’s a kind of Silence of the Lambs set-up about an incarcerated serial killer helping a cop to solve a series of copycat murders in Paris, with the twist that said cop is said serial killer’s son (!). Without giving anything away, the controversial ending definitely merits a wider discussion about the responsibilities of TV drama, which you’ll find elsewhere online, so be prepared for crassness. The trailer above is French-language only.

The Frozen Dead / Glacé (2017)

A grisly find atop a mountain in the French Pyrenees leads investigator Martin Servas into a twisted dance with a serial killer in this icy thriller.

Did we say the last one was Silence of the Lambs-y? This one is very much that aussi. In The Frozen Dead, a serial killer plays a sick game with the cops investigating some gruesome murders in the French Pyrenees. There’s also some wrongdoing involving a horse that doesn’t involve it ending up in a pot-au-feu.

This suspense thriller consists of six 50-minute episodes, which makes it a choice weekend binge, from creators with credits including Spiral and French political series Spin / Les Hommes de l’Ombre.

Unit 42 / Unité 42 (2017)

A widowed cop tapped to lead a special cybercrimes unit teams up with a former hacker to hunt down tech-savvy criminals who are terrorizing Belgium

For fans of The Tunnel and The Bridge, this is a Belgian odd-couple crime thriller about Sam – a resolutely analogue detective in his 50s – and Billie – a troubled hacker in her 20s. They team up in a newly created Brussels digital policing unit to track down a network of cyber terrorists responsible for a series of killings.

If that sounds generic and familiar, it is, but the chemistry of the two leads Patrick Ridremont and Constance Gay sells the premise. This police procedural has two 10-part series so far, comprising 50-minute episodes but only the first is currently available to stream on Netflix.

The Break / La Trêve (2016)

A police detective mourning a painful loss moves back to his peaceful hometown, only to be drawn into a murder case that dredges up dark secrets.

Nicknamed the Belgian Broadchurch (we really need to find new ways to describe crime TV), this whodunit earned high praise across both seasons for its darkly comic and twisted story of dark small town secrets. Filmed in The Ardennes, the two 10-episode seasons weave together numerous family drama subplots and lay bare sick secrets about the residents of Heiderfeld, Belgium.

The premise sees a police detective moves with his teenage daughter from Brussels back to his home town, where the body of a young football player has been pulled from the river. Against a backdrop of local corruption surrounding the construction of a dam, was it suicide or murder?

DRAMA

Inhuman Resources / Dérapages (2020)

Alain Delambre, unemployed and 57, is lured by an attractive job opening. But things get ugly when he realises he’s a pawn in a cruel corporate game.

Eric Cantona (yes, him) stars in this six-episode action-packed thriller satirising corporate greed. It’s based on a 2010 novel by Pierre Lemaitre titled Cadres Noirs, which itself was inspired by a true story about a company that staged a fake hostage situation as part of a round of high-level job interviews.

It’s a slick, gritty morality drama about a down-on-his-luck man (Cantona) forced into an extreme role when he’s tasked with simulating a hostage attack for a slimy boss seeking to decimate his workforce. Reviews have been very positive, with particular praise for Cantona in the lead role.

Mythomaniac / Mytho (2019)

Burned out and taken for granted, a working mother suspects her partner is cheating, so to win back his attentions, she feigns a medical diagnosis.

Directed by Fabrice Gobert, who headed up Les Revenants / The Returned and written by Anne Berest, this domestic drama-comedy is about Elvira, a disenchanted mother of three ignored by her family, cheated on by her husband and kicked around by suburban life. When she lies about a cancer diagnosis, things start to change for the better at home, but the lie brings its own complications. It won the audience award and best actress for lead Marina Hands (Black Spot, Taboo) at Series Mania, winning praise for her delicate, compassionate performance.

This is a solid family drama with a strong lead performance. It’s already been renewed for a second season, which was, pre-Covid-19, due to arrive in France in late 2020. See the French-language trailer above.

COMEDY & ROM-COM

Family Business (2019)

After learning France is about to legalize pot, a down-on-his-luck entrepreneur and his family race to turn their butcher shop into a marijuana cafe.

Starring, among others, French legend Liliane Rovère (also seen in Call My Agent, see below), this is part stoner comedy, part dysfunctional family sitcom. It’s about a struggling son (creator Jonathan Cohen) who comes up with the bright idea to pivot his Parisian Jewish family butcher shop into a cannabis cafe, and the trouble that lands them in on both sides of the law.

It’s lightweight with a bit of edge, and if you take a shine to its larger-than-life characters fear not, it was renewed for a second season very quickly after its initial release. The new episodes are scheduled to arrive in September 2020.

The Hook-up Plan / Plan Coeur (2018)

Elsa, on the verge of turning thirty and stuck in an uninspiring job, finds herself still hung up on her ex-boyfriend two years after their breakup. Her friends, hoping to help her break out of her rut and find some confidence, decide to hire a male escort to take her on a few dates.

This rom-com is the second French-language Netflix original after Gerard Depardieu-starring Marseille, and given the choice between the two, this is the one to watch. Three friends, Elsa, Emilie and Charlotte navigate relationships and imminent motherhood in contemporary Paris over two series.

It’s a light, pacey modern dating comedy filled with bright shots of Paris and city life. The English-targeted trailer riffed on its similarity to Love Actually, if you want to use that as a barometer for whether you’d enjoy it. (Though if it’s French comedy-drama you’re after though, run, don’t walk to Call My Agent, see below).

A Very Secret Service / Au Service de la France (2015)

1960: the French intelligence service hires the 23-year-old Andre Merlaux. Handsome, well-raised, intelligent but impressionable, Merlaux has much to learn to serve and defend the interests of France.

This light-weight Archer-ish satire goes back to the 1960s to a time when France’s position in the world stage was changing due to ongoing bloody colonial battles for independence, and French society was changing thanks to the rise of feminism and the civil rights movement. Set in a French intelligence training service, it follows a hapless new recruit’s attempts to follow orders and do his compatriots proud. There are two 12-episode seasons of this comedy drama, which was received warmly back in 2015 and pokes fun at the old ways and the new through the eyes of a fish out of water.

Call My Agent / Dix Pour Cent (2015)

At a top Paris talent firm, agents scramble to keep their star clients happy – and their business afloat – after an unexpected crisis.

Unless you are in fact watching it (in which case, carry on), this is surely The Best French TV Series You’re Not Watching. Set in a Parisian talent agency struggling to survive after the loss of its patron, it’s a workplace comedy-drama with heart and satirical bite. The forthcoming season four will sadly be its last, but at least it’s going to end on its own terms.

Dix Pour Cent (10 Per Cent in English, in reference to the agent’s cut of a star’s pay packet) is a funny, fast, whip-smart satire of, and love letter to the French film industry, filled with characters to love. Created by Fanny Herrero, it has a terrific comedy ensemble cast (including Camille Cottin, who played Fleabag in the French-language remake) but the real joy for fans of French cinema are the guest stars. So many legends pop up, from Juliette Binoche to Monica Bellucci, Jean Dujardin, Isabelle Huppert and Beatrice Dalle… all playing exaggerated versions of themselves. N’hesitez plus, vas-y!

The post The Best French TV Shows on Netflix appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3g3oYKV

[oosteven-universe]

Blackwood: The Mourning After #1

Blackwood: The Mourning After #1 Dark Horse Comics 2020 Written by Evan Dorkin Illustrated by Veronica & Andy Fish Lettered by Greg McKenna     Blackwood College is in mourning after the death of Dean Ogden, unaware there's a traitor in their midst looking to bury the entire school. Meanwhile, the students continue to deal with Dennis's death, a situation that Reiko not only refuses to accept but plans to rectify. Will mayhem ensue? Duh.     I am a huge fan of this book. There has to be more tot his than what we're seeing here because this is all kinds of awesome so if there are novels and such I'd love to know about them. But hey I am thrilled that Blackwood is back for another arc because the first one was freaking amazing! With so many teen style magic drama's or just teen soap drama's, thank to the CW & Freeform, this one is really taking a much darker approach than we're used to seeing. Legacies comes close but this is still better. I like that this is real, for lack of a better word, in that it's a magic school and there are those that attend that don't fit the norm and do fit certain stereotypes. It just that natural feel to the book that helps us find our own niche in it.     Evan does a spectacular job with the writing here. The story & plot development as we see through the sequence of events unfolding and how the reader learns information is exceptionally well presented. Also I really like the fact that while it helps if you've read the first arc it isn't completely necessary in order to enjoy this one. Everything we need to know is laid out and a mild catch up on previous events does occur. So the way that this is being told is impressive to say the least. The character development that we are seeing is really rather quite good. We see the kids personalities and we see them continue to grow and evolve as they encounter situations and circumstances. New characters are introduced and their personalities are “established” but our opinions of them may change the longer we see them throughout the arc. The pacing is superb and as it takes us through the pages revealing the twists and turns along the way it manages to be creepy, fascinating, entertaining and mysterious generally all at the same time. The way all this works together to create the books ebb & flow and showcase how the book is structured is marvellous.     The interior artwork here is fantastic. The linework that we see through it's varying weights bring out the attention to detail beautifully. That there are a lot of unusual things that need to be shown the creativity and imagination that we see shines through. Also there is the magic we see as well or the result of a spell and the Fish's really get to unleash some great stuff here. The way we see the composition within the panels and how they show depth perception, scale and the overall sense of size and scope is extremely nice to see. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective inside the panels show a strong eye for storytelling. The colour work is really nice to see as well. The hues and tones we see within any given colour utilised to create the shading, highlights and shadow work is rendered beautifully. Whomever is responsible for the writing portion that made up the body well holy effin Mackerel that's some bloody genius work. ​     Well with everything we see within these pages and the body of the monkey in silhouette as it listens to them in office just makes me want to see more. Oh and that monkey is amazing and nasty and delightful so I may not be a happy camper and I hope that isn't the case. What we see here is just good old fashioned solid storytelling. A catalyst to see the kids starting to bond, a mystery that needs solving and intrigue that hasn't reared it's head fully yet. It is dark fun pure and simple and I wouldn't want it any other way.

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Fear of ‘Moonlighting’: The Consequences of Refusing to Commit

What is “moonlighting”? Also known as “Shipping Bed Death”, it’s the phenom by which the audience loses interest in a story after the main couple finally gets together. The anticipation of characters becoming an item is believed to be more interesting to viewers than the actual conclusion of the romantic arc; the conflict that permeates a “will they/won’t they” relationship naturally disappears once the couple finally decides they will.

Exacerbating the problem is the fact that many writers don’t know how to successfully write a happy, healthy relationship; believing that internal conflict is the only way to maintain audience investment, the characters undergo just as much drama while together as they did apart.

Here’s the thing about the moonlighting curse: it’s not a real thing.

Audiences who become invested in a story primarily because of the potential for a relationship between two characters (also called “shippers”) have a rough go of it: in many cases, either tantalizing hints of a romance will be dropped but never capitalized on throughout the entire run of a TV show in order to maintain a level of anticipation, only to receive the satisfaction of the “happily ever after” at the very end — and sometimes not even that; or the couple will get together earlier on but be thrown apart continuously by manufactured drama, until the characters themselves are unrecognizable or the relationship is no longer worth investing in.

Creators who are unwilling to forgo the tension of a will they/won’t they relationship for the satisfaction of finally allowing two characters to get together run the risk of stagnating their plot (because there are only so many places characters can go if you refuse to move them forward), losing the interest of your audience (who become impatient if a slowburn ship is dragged out too long), and/or ruining a relationship that is the foundation of the show (because if romantic tension isn’t resolved by committing to a relationship, it tends to dissipate unsatisfactorily).

Many, many couples have fallen victim to the idea that happy couples make for bad TV, or that constant drama is needed to keep a relationship interesting. Mindy and Danny (The Mindy Project), Ross and Rachel (Friends), Arizona and Callie (Grey’s Anatomy), Blair and Chuck (Gossip Girl) and Damon and Elena (The Vampire Diaries) are all examples of relationships that happened relatively early and ultimately ended up being the endgame, but with so much drama in the middle that rooting for them in the end became impossible.

On Teen Wolf, Stiles and Lydia share their first kiss in the third season but then, when the writers were unwilling to commit to the relationship so soon, were kept apart until the show’s final season. Although technically dating in Season 6, their screen time was extremely limited due to Dylan O’Brien’s other filming obligations, there was no emotional payoff, and the series ends on an extremely underwhelming note for the couple.

Bones and Booth on Bones suffered through six seasons of a will they-won’t they relationship before finally getting together; although the couple were married for a number of seasons, the manner of them getting together was underwhelming, by skipping out on the resolution to the tension entirely and jumping ahead to when they were already domestic.

Likewise, Mulder and Scully of The X-Files have an extremely drawn out slowburn of a relationship (with the showrunner even going so far as to claim that there would never be a romance between them), finally becoming romantic in Season 7. However, unlike with Bones and Booth, Mulder and Scully’s happily ever after didn’t last forever; the couple split up offscreen sometime between the old series and the beginning of the new one, and the end of Season 11 (which is likely also the end of the series) doesn’t provide a satisfactory resolution to their relationship.

Starbuck and Apollo on Battlestar Galactica were soulmates who had a deep and admitted love for each other — including “one night that lasted forever”; their relationship was passionate in both its love and anger, and they were more vulnerable with each other than they could be with anyone else. A relationship of such a strong nature unsurprisingly attracted a large number of viewers, but it was never capitalized on and fizzled to an unsatisfying end.

The one that sits closest to my heart and stings the most is Bellamy and Clarke on The 100. The 100 has been my favourite show for a handful of years now, Bellamy and Clarke have been among my favourite characters, and the relationship between them has been, without a doubt, one of the best things about the series.

Originally at odds, Bellamy and Clarke bonded over the fact that they became the de facto leaders of the Hundred — a group of under-aged criminals sent to Earth to see if it was survivable in the series premiere. Throughout the series, Bellamy and Clarke become extremely close, with a number of undeniably romantic cues teeing them up to become a couple at some point in the future.

And then Season 5 happened, using a six year time jump as an excuse to put Bellamy in a relationship with another woman and shattering everything about Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship that had made it special. It remains yet to be seen whether Bellamy and Clarke will ever get back to the same place they were in emotionally in the Season 4 finale, never mind progressing any further romantically. Even if they do become romantic in some distant future, it’s unclear whether all the waiting will have been worth it; many fans have become exhausted with the constant dragging out of the relationship and feel that their special bond has already been damaged beyond repair.

The perceived inability of a show to maintain a long-lasting relationship speaks more to the skill of the writer than it does to the disinterest of the viewers. Many shows have proven that they cannot only succeed but thrive when committing to their central couple before it’s too late in the game; fans of these pairings don’t simply disappear overnight after the couple becomes “canon” but instead continue to support them, watch for them, and take joy in their obvious love.

If you’re a character on a Mike Schur comedy, your odds of getting a happy ending are pretty high; Jim and Pam (The Office), Leslie and Ben (Parks and Recreation), and Jake and Amy (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) all had relationships that progressed naturally to dating and eventually to marriage, with minimal squabbles or manufactured drama along the way.

Barry and Iris of The Flash are the “Gold Standard” (according to Barry Allen himself) of the CW’s DCVerse. Best friends since childhood, the two harbour mutual romantic feelings for each other over the show’s first two seasons before getting together at the end of the second season. Barry and Iris face all the problems a superhero faces together, and even got married in the show’s fourth season. Their relationship has been the foundation of the show every season, something that is only enhanced by their marriage.

On Fringe, Peter and Olivia were the perfect example of a flawlessly written slowburn relationship. From colleagues to best friends and beyond, the romantic nature of their relationship is established in no uncertain terms at the end of Season 2. Pulled apart by circumstance in Seasons 3 and 4, they always manage to find their way back to each other; their love for each other is what saves them. After a long journey of fracturing and healing and reconnecting, they finally get their happy ending in the fifth season.

And it can be hard to find love in a post-apocalyptic wasteland like the one on The Walking Dead, but somehow Glenn and Maggie managed. They had a classic relationship that started in the second season and provided many of the show’s few happy moments; they were tender, humorous, and heartwarming. The two even get married, before Glenn meets his unfortunate end in the show’s seventh season. Even then, Glenn’s last words ensure that his love for Maggie — and her love for him — will continue on long after: “I’ll find you.”

Why did these couples succeed? Simple: the central conflict of the show was never about whether they would get together and so when they did, the show didn’t fall apart. A good writer will recognize that while there is obvious tension between two characters who are attracted to each other, that tension doesn’t just vanish when they get together, it just manifests differently.

There are ways to insert tension into a relationship without it resulting in a breakup or infidelity or some other heinous act that makes it difficult or impossible to root for the couple anymore. Or instead of using internal conflict, make the conflict external, and have the couple face it together. On Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Jake and Amy’s first fight is over a mattress — which was only a metaphor for each person’s uncertainty over their partner’s commitment to the relationship. On The Flash, Barry and Iris even go to couples counselling to solve their communication issues.

These are just a few examples of something that has become more common in recent years: the idea that love sells, just as well as anticipation does. People turn to TV for stories of hope and comfort, and would rather see themselves reflected in a relationship that is long-lasting and realistic than one with so many twists and turns that you lose sight of which way is up.

Here’s a message to all TV writers: yes, romantic tension is great — even essential — and can suck viewers into your story, but it has an expiry date. Your most passionate viewers will be borne from the potential of a relationship, but they are also the ones you risk turning against you should you waste that potential.

It’s not progressive or “edgy” to refuse to label a relationship as romantic or to avoid following the “obvious” storyline; the very reason people root for a romance is because the path towards it is well-lit and well-laid. And the rare chemistry between two actors which often leads to people shipping their characters isn’t something that should be squandered, it should be capitalized on.

As a writer, your first and only priority should be to the characters you’ve created and the relationships you’ve nurtured, not the conflict that drives them apart or the shock of an unexpected ending. Anything else is not only a disservice to the integrity of your show but to the fans, whose viewership and investment are what keeps it on the air.

[bookcoversalt]

Despite having the askbox closed, multiple people still found ways to request that I cover the abomination that is CATWOMAN: SOULSTEALER by Sarah Maas, and who am I to deny such determination?

So the DC ya novels, as we can see, all abide by this Formula of BIGASS GRITTY DIMENSIONAL LOGO over the figure themselves, with their face in shadow, author up top, and title and needlessly dramatic subtitle down below. It’s not a good formula! The centrality is static and dull, the shadowed faces of the figures as a requirement is hard to pull off, and the logos and the figures are competing for hierarchical dominance.

Let’s talk first about these two versions of the batman and wonder woman covers, first, because they illustrate some of the, uh, flaws with this system.

The ones on the left are the paperback versions, and the Batman one is, almost, making the formula work: the gold accents of the batsymbol make the logo take visual precedence, the perspective lines are giving it some needed depth and dynamism, and the shadow on his face doesn’t look..... too awful, I guess. And most importantly, the type isn’t getting in anyone’s way: it’s a flat sans-serif, appropriately batman-ey but inoffensive. It’s actually, intentionally, Marie Lu’s signature author font from the Young Elites covers, but it works.

So i have no idea why the middle version, the hardcover/ebook, was like “no no, the type needs to look like a class full of fourth-graders learning to use word art in powerpoint did it.” It’s so, so ugly.

I also don’t know why they felt the need to oversaturate the background with blue, scale up the figure, and actually reduce the shadow on his face but like weirdly, but whatever. The paperback cover is better all around.

The Wonder Woman covers are worse all around, both of them. The paperback’s title type is better by merit of being Not Hideous but where Lu’s “signature” typeface was a naturally good fit, Barduo’s are a little more decorative, and letterforms used to evoke Magic Imperial Russia aren’t so great for Wonder Woman. Also, on the paperback, her legs sticking out of the shield logo like an M&Ms mascot is a DEEPLY unfortunate look.

So the type is either fine but ill-fitting or word-art hideousness, and the imagery is bad on both: murky dramatic ambiguity, a VERY fakebad faceshadow, (she’s being lit from below, it seems like from her shield; we instinctively know it should illuminate her facial features the same way) a static, symmetrical pose with no expression, backlighting that clearly doesn’t belong there, and I don’t know if her bracelets were superimposed or what, but they look STRANGELY fake and ugly.

SO.

This brings us to the worst of the bunch.

Here it is again in case you forgot because I can’t write short posts:

Honestly I only talked about the others to procrastinate bc i don’t even wanna get into this. It’s ugly and I hate it. BUT WE CAME THIS FAR, SO.

This is so bad I gotta break it down: we’re gonna talk about each element, first, and then about how they fit together (or fail to). 1) The symbol lockup/ “logo.”

I didn’t really talk about the “logos” themselves on the BM and WW covers, just how they worked within the design, but both of those were fine by themselves, as three-dimensional rendered items go. Which makes sense, as both those heroes have a long history of classic symbology to go with them.

Catwoman does not. So i have SOME (NOT A LOT. BUT SOME.) sympathy for this weird..... cat..... vault... thing. On the others I called it a logo, but because this is less abstract and more literal, doesn’t feel like one here; it just feels like a misguided imagery choice. Was the best conceptual way to express “SHE STEALS THINGS” really to make her whole thing a literal bank vault? Was it? Why is the cat symbol so small within it? why the heavy crosshatching texture? Why visually imply that this is an Actual Physical Thing To Scale when the scratch marks vs the size of the door handle make no sense? Why do the cat eyes look like the green fairy’s lips? Why the ghostbusters-ectoplasm-looking teal smoke?

Thing 2: the type.

I try to avoid low hanging snark/ hyperbole, but all i got for this is that between the beveling effect and the teal/purple combo, it’s hideous and it makes me want to die. moving on.

(Note: as of yet, there isn’t a paperback cover out, and based on what was done with the other two, we may have a version of this with Maas’s signature fonts to look forward to, whatever the fuck those are.)

3) The model.

So. Ugh. First of all, i saw some “OMG SHE’S WHITEWASHED” stuff flying around, and if you feel like that, that’s valid, (and god knows Maas has issues with it; I’m still not over the whole Illyrians debacle in ACOMAF/ ACOWAR, seriously, nevermind the messy “SURPRISE, LUCIEN HAS BEEN A MOC THIS WHOLE TIME, NO IT’S NOT JUST BECAUSE BLOOMSBURY SAID I NEEDED MORE DIVERSITY″ thing) but this looks like a brown girl to me. One styled to within an inch of her life and subjected to some truly heinous photoshopping, and one who will be doubtless be written with Maas’s deepest discomfort on full display amongst variations of the phrase “golden-tanned skin”, but I would still say that’s a WOC. YMMV, of course.

ANYWAY. This is a really goofy shot. Wonder Woman’s looked bad, but her arm-crossed thing is still her Iconic Move, and her hair could ostensibly have been blowing in the wind. Catwoman here is straight from a CW photoshoot for one of their teen dramas, w a wind machine on her and cat ears photoshopped badly onto her head. (Pretty sure it’s just the same ear, duplicated, too.) As with WW, there is an attempt at backlighting that doesn’t work and the face shadow is real, real bad.

Also, lol @ the fact that you can still see her legs poking out at the bottom. At this point just cut her off behind the logo thing? No one’s actually checking to see if she continues for that last inch behind it except me because that’s what I do?

4) The background! It’s! A City! because GOTHAM. I assume. I don’t know if the story actually takes place in gotham. Whatever. So here’s the thing: obviously, Figures on covers needn’t plausibly physically exist in what their background image is. That would be very limiting. So it’s not the fact that she isn’t actually standing miles above a city that bothers me, it’s that she’s close enough to sort of imply that she is, so instead of a deliberately unreal effect, we get one that’s just Off. It doesn’t help that the other two covers’ heroes definitely are supposed to physically exist in their background. Also the purple treatment is silly and the lighting is totally contradictory to what’s on the model.

OK BEAR WITH ME WE’RE ALMOST THROUGH. THE NIGHTMARE IS ALMOST OVER.

So we’ve talked about why the Series Cover System Overall does not work: static, boring, bad hierarchy, necessitated ugly effects and type. But Catwoman specifically does this the worst of all of them: the background is overemphasized, making the figure and the background compete, and the cover’s split straight down the middle between the logo lockup thing and the figure, making those compete, and the text is such painfully bright, undiluted colors that it steals focus from the logo lockup (which is weirdly lacking contrast) despite placement and the precedence of the other covers indicating it should be secondary in the hierarchy. Then there’s the tense, tight placement: the cat ears run into the author name and the lockup runs into the title, neither a deliberate overlap but an awkward lack of space.

This cover hates itself as much as I hate it, all the elements glaring at each other and fighting futilely in the backseat while the book threatens to TURN THIS THING AROUND.

I wish it would.

[scorpio-karma]

Kai Parker Tag

from @kingcobrakai1972

1. Honestly, I don't know it's not that deep for me. He's obviously my favorite male character out of the whole series, my favorite pairing for Bonnie, but not much else beyond that. If I was hard pressed I guess I would say he's Bonnie's psychopathic lover to me because that's just so ingrained in him.

2. Probably 6x08 the thanksgiving episode, mainly for the flashback, but there was a lot going on in that episode that was just done so well. I realize I am weirdly attracted to psychopaths (in TV) so there was that element but I also loved how he flirted with Bonnie. While I'm not made at the ending of the episode I did hope that he would be stuck with Bonnie longer there for him to kinda grow on her, but it was pretty good the way that it went, one of the few times TVD didn't suck at their jobs and make me feel like I was watching a teen vampire show on the CW.

3.

4. His incessant talking and ability to make everything sexual especially when it comes to Bonnie. Also his obsession for Bonnie--I realize that it's not particularly healthy, but, damn, after watching 5 seasons of the Stefan, Damon, and Elena snooze-fest it was great not only seeing someone obsess over Bonnie but in an interesting way. Like his obsession didn't just take over his character, it was a part of his character. He was more than his obsession.

5. I know people are going to kill me for this, but honestly meh. I've mentioned probably more times than necessary that I gave up on the show mid season 5, but I came back in season 6, but not quite. I didn't actually watch season 6 until well after the entire season aired, I'm pretty sure season 7 had even started by that point. I'm not someone who really cares about spoilers so when I watched season 6 it was entirely to see Kai, who I had already read about through his wiki page, so I went into season 6 fully knowing he died.

While I was attached to the character I wasn't all that sad that he died because a) I knew before hand and b) it's hard caring about death when it comes to TVD. I'm pretty sure the last death on the show I had any legitimate feelings for on the show was Alaric in season 3 and even that was kinda pushing it because the storyline around it was so meh--and that was a thought I had as a casual viewer of the show. Even with Bonnie's death at the end of season 4 I was pretty blasé, although annoyed that she died over Jeremy, because there's pretty much a guarantee that every character who does comes back and low and behold she did.

Although I will admit I was pretty disappointed with how he died and not really for the usual reason, but more because of how permanent is was. Like I kept trying to think of ways he could have not been dead because he still had his heart and I didn't really pay that much attention to the more to remember that beheading was an actual way to permanently kill a vampire. So I guess the best way to characterize my feelings when he died is "he'll be back" and he was.

6. No. I don't actually have that many dirty dreams and when I do it's rarely with TV characters, it's actually always people I know.

7. 😲😮🤕

8. Young Kai because that's the version that endeared me to the character. The older Kai is post merge and I actually wasn't that big of a fan of that version of him--he was less entertaining to me.

9. Who is this random character and why does everyone ship him with Bonnie? 

So fun fact, I first got introduced to Kai through fanfiction. I was new to fanfic at the time and really had no real attachments to any ships with Bonnie (or any of the characters for that matter) so I read any and everything with her except for Bonkai (and Kennett but for reasons that still are unclear to me today because I still won't read them). In general, and this is still applies today, I don't read OC's and characters I'm not familiar with as main characters. My imagination is kinda crappy so when reading it's hard for me to imagine the character if I have no real prior knowledge of them, it's why I didn't like reading as a kid, there were just words on a page for me. My comprehension skills have vastly improved but then not so much.

Anyways due to this I didn't read anything with Bonkai until I got desperate and had run out of Bonnie fics I was interested in. I first read this fic and though it's not that great it did spark me to read other Bonkai fics and most of all context for this character, so I reluctantly watched season 6 and was actually pleasantly surprised that it was watchable. So this was around mid-2015 which is when there was a lot of Bonkai fic being written, at least from my perspective because it was inescapable to me which is mostly why I conceded, but for the most part my first impression was who is this and why does he keep coming up in my searches for Bonnie.

10. I'm sorry, but Kai Parker and for this specific Bo Burnham quote: Stop sticking with artists through thick and thin. If I stop entertaining you, leave me. Don't "stick with me". You wouldn't stick with your mechanic if he stopped fixing your car would you? I am in the service industry-I'm just overpaid. Now that's not to say I've abandoned him and he doesn't entertain me any more, but for the most part what years of TVD have taught me is exactly that, don't stick with things because of a sense of loyalty but because it's actually entertaining, and Chris Wood has never been as entertaining as he was as Kai Parker and I think that's something we can all agree on. So I pick Kai Parker everyday.

tagging @dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg @lokiprincess @aint-no-baby-momma-drama @meritamen

[leightaylorwrites]

Leigh Dissects YA fiction: Fallen Kingdoms (Chapter Seven- Chapter Ten)

Chapter Seven - Auranos

Sigh… I thought we’d at least get a break from Cleo by heading back to Magnus but I guess that was foolish of me to hope.

No one knew why, but Cleo guessed her sister had fallen in love with someone else.

The gender-neutral “someone” makes me hope for a single lesbian in this story. It’s another foolish hope.

Emilia had never so much as cast a flirtatious glance at any of the men in the palace [...]

LET EMILIA BE GAY 2K18

His parents didn’t approve of smoking inside the house. Aron might be arrogant and confident, but he was still seventeen and had to abide by his parents' rules until his next birthday-unless he wanted to move out ahead of schedule. And Cleo knew without a doubt that he didn’t want that sort of responsibility, financial or otherwise.

I’m sorry when did I leave this YA high fantasy and enter a teen drama on the CW? This entire part is a mess of modern-ness and should have been cut.

Aron: [I’m not sorry for killing him lol I kind of liked it too]

Cleo: How can you sound so calm about this?

Aron: Would you rather I lie and say I have nightmares too? Would that ease your own guilt?

Cleo: I want the truth.

Aron: And that’s what I’ve given you.

I get that Aron is a horrible creepy killer, but he has a point. He IS honest. When the villain makes more sense than your heroine, there’s an issue.

When he smiled, the look was equally menacing and enticing. “I will find you.”

YA authors stop writing scary love interests challenge.

Chapter Eight - Limeros

“Naughty girl.”

She ignored the flush that immediately heated her cheeks.She wasn’t being naughty; she was being inquisitive.

And I’m being disgusted. So not only does Magnus have the hots for his adoptive sister, Lucia blushes when he calls her “naughty.” Clace are BOTH unemployed.

“Cleiona’s also the name of the youngest Auranian princess,” Magnus mused. “Never really thought about it before. Same age as you are, right? Nearly to the day?”

I have… questions. First, how does he know Cleo’s exact birthday? Two, it’s likely going to come into play later that they are at most a few days apart but how does that work with Lucia? How does Magnus know her day of birth? We find out later Sabina (the lady from the prologue) brought Lucia to the palace as an infant but it wasn’t the day she was born so how would Sabina know her birthday? Even if she had a vision on the baby’s day of birth or something like that, how did Lucia survive without being breastfed? I need answers.

Magnus: One of grace and beauty, my sister, with a multitude of suitors at her beck and call. Forced to be siblings with a scarred monster like me.

Lucia: As if that scar makes you a monster. You can’t be blind to how girls look at you-I even see maids here in the castle wistfully watch you pass, even if you never notice them. They all think you’re devastatingly handsome. And your scar only makes you more… intriguing.

If you think plain hetero splooging is bad, just wait until you see plain hetero incest splooging!

“[Tomas] was cut down as a spoiled lord tried to show off in front of a princess - Princess Cleiona [...] The two watched Tomas Agallon’s young life bleed from him in front of his own family.They didn’t feel sorry for the pain they caused that family and all Paelsia.”

I mean… it’s true. Too bad the evil king is saying this and therefore the reader is supposed to disagree with him and know that Cleo the Super Special White Girl can’t do anything wrong ever but still. He’s right.

The words were acid on his tongue as jealousy flashed through him like a bolt of lightning. “But [Lucia] isn’t interested in walks around the palace grounds. Not with, well… not with you.”

The boy’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”

Magnus forced a tense look on his face as if he’d said too much and now felt guilty. “It’s really none of my business.”

[...]

“It’s just that she’s mentioned you to me [...] And she made it clear that if you ever stopped by, you should not be encouraged any further. She means no offense, of course. But… her interests in a potential suitor lie elsewhere.”

In case incest splooging wasn’t enough to make me hate this character, he’s entered Rowboat’s, well, boat. Territorial pricks are not cute @ YA authors.

Magnus had no patience for anyone who would be manipulated so easily. If the boy was truly interested in Lucia, he should be able to stand up to any adversity, including an overprotective older brother.

But you literally just told this kid Lucia SAID she doesn’t want him. If he’s taking your word as truth, that’s not him being manipulated, it’s him believing you because why would a prince lie to him about this? He’s not doing anything wrong by respecting what he believes are Lucia’s wishes??? He has more respect for her than you do?? Why do people like Magnus??

“I wouldn’t hesitate to say you were lying.” He took her arm in his and squeezed it until she flinched. A flicker of fear went through her pale eyes. “Who do you think the king would believe? His son and heir? Or a kitchen maid?”

Amia swallowed hard. “I apologize, my prince. I would never say such a thing.”

“Smart girl.”

So… Magnus is literally physically abusing and threatening his casual hookup and people stan??

There was no Limerian law that stated that pure royal blood was necessary for the position. Even the son of a whore could become king.

Magnus is being all emo over the fact that Tobias could be king someday, a problem which is easily solved by Magnus killing Tobias. This doesn’t happen, but I think I’ve found the problem with all these series that try so hard to be the YA version of Game of Thrones/ASOIAF: nobody has the balls to write how these conflicts would actually play out in a real political setting. YA does have to be toned down in comparison to adult fiction but when you tone things down so much that they make no sense, it doesn’t work at all.

Blood sacrifice? How deeply savage.

Can’t tell if I’m tired of the word savage being used in this book (it’s used at least 20 times in reference to Paelsia) or if I’m tired of it in general (thanks stan twitter).

The king swiftly moved behind the boy, pulled his head back, and slashed the blade across his throat. Tobias’s eyes went wide and his hands came up automatically to his neck. Blood squirted out from between his fingers. He collapsed to the ground.

I’m DONE. We got half a page about Tobias being a threat to the throne for Magnus and instead of seeing them battle it out, or Tobias team up with an enemy later on, or anything that might give some payoff to the fact that Magnus has a secret half-brother, he’s sacrificed a few pages after his main introduction. Do you see what I mean now about YA fantasy writers holding back?

Chapter Nine - Auranos

I DON’T CARE, WHERE IS JONAS

“It’s unfortunate about Princess Emilia, though. So, so sad she isn’t well enough to attend.”

We get it. She’s dying. You’ve reminded us like four times already.

[...] Emilia’s most recently finished painting, a study of the night sky.

Subtle foreshadowing isn’t subtle enough for me.

That [her marriage] was solely a political choice sounded so cold, so analytical.

Does Cleo… not know what politics are? Does she not understand that royal arranged marriages happen all the time? Does she not realize she’s a princess? Why is she so dumb??

“You do know [Nic] is madly in love with you, right?”

Dammit. We came so close to having that platonic relationship but we can’t have a young man in this series not want to splooge over Cleo. It’s the first book and Cleo already has three love interests for this series. Alien Trashryver is worried.

Emilia: “I fell in love with someone else [...] I’ve never felt such love as I felt for him.”

DOUBLE DAMMIT.

Despite being named for the goddess, Cleo wasn’t invested in religion [.]

Isn’t being named after a religious deity frowned upon? I know in some religions you can be named after a minor figure - such as Christians with the archangels. But you can’t name your child God. Cleo being named after the primary person in the religion seems wrong.

But how else would we know she’s a Super Special Magical White Girl if she didn’t have a name far beyond what she deserves?

Her sister had been in love with a guard who’d died two months ago. “It was Theon’s father, wasn’t it?”

Isn’t he like… old??

Her sister had been in love with the king’s bodyguard who’d been thrown from his horse to his death. A tragedy.

That is verbatim from the book and I can’t stop laughing. This bitch said “a tragedy,” I’m CRYING.

Emilia was always the rock - comforting Cleo when she was upset over [some petty stuff] or the loss of her innocence to Aron.

“You’re the same as you were yesterday and the day before,” she’d soothed. “Nothing has changed. Not really. Forget what troubles you. Regret nothing, but learn from any mistakes you make. Tomorrow will be a brighter day, I promise.”

If you think things are cool because HEY we’ve got a YA heroine who isn’t a virgin, we later find out Cleo was drunk when this happened and therefore is an assault victim. The book never acknowledges the later, but instead has Emilia tell Cleo to learn from her mistakes and that nothing has changed. Feminist YA at its peak, y���all.

“You can’t. You’re to be the queen one day. If you die, that means it’ll be me. Trust me, Emilia, that would be a very bad thing. I would make a terrible queen.”

I mean, yeah I agree that Cleo would be a shitty queen but I’m more annoyed at how these five sentences are written.

Emilia: “There’s no one out there spying on us through the eyes of birds, hoping for clues of where to find the Kindred.”

Cleo: “I’ve never believed in such nonsense.”

Btw, Cleo said earlier she thought the birds were watching her. Consistency is hard, I guess.

[Theon] shook his head. “I knew my father cared about someone, but he wouldn’t say who it was. I figured he was involved with a married woman. Now I know.”

So Cleo’s boyfriend is her sister’s dead husband’s son… Cleo’s love interest is her nephew. He’s her step-nephew, but her nephew nonetheless.

Chapter Ten - Limeros (this time with the bird dude)

[...] to see his bird friend, Phaedra, perched on the branch next to him.

Now, I could give this book points if the whole point was that the western world was meant to be Greece, while Mystica is a mix of Italy and Spain. But the existence of Paelsia with its North African/Asian/Roman setting messes it all up.

All [Lucia] would see when she looked at him was a golden hawk. For some reason, this realization pained him.

So we can’t have lgbt+ romances or poc romances but Cleo the Super Special Magical White Girl can get three+ love interests and Lucia can get two love interests - her adoptive brother and a dude who can turn into a bird. White authors, man. White authors…

One thing I do like about this Ioannes dude is that his chapters are short, leaving little room for bullshit. However, they make me go back to Magnus and Cleo sooner than I want.

[mymercurymind]

The End Of Science Fiction

The End of Science Fiction is a poem written by Lisel Mueller. 

Earlier today I went on a walk. I decided to listen to Sophia Bush's podcast, titled Work In Progress. I've been fairly obsessed with the actress ever since I saw her in the CW's eroto-teen-drama One Tree Hill while it was still on TV. I love the days when I decide to live a little more intentionally and then immediately experience the synchronicities and the magic that the world has to offer. So while tuning in to a conversation between Sophia and the formidable Glennon Doyle, I wandered the streets of my old stomping grounds. It had rained earlier in the day and now the warm afternoon sun had brought out the rich smells of the roses and greenery in all the front yards as I passed. I wandered past old friends old houses and down to my elementary school, relishing in nostalgia and and feeling old feelings.

 As I strolled by the rusting basketball hoops, Glennon and Sophia were discussing the ways in which girls are taught not to trust themselves from a young age. How one of Glennon’s traumas as a human is that she was made to believe she was crazy. Society had gaslighted her to the point of talking herself out of her own truths.  I made my way to the play structure in the back corner next to the field and the smell of the woodchips brought back memories of times I felt embarassed for being who I was; for having deep thoughts and ideas about life and being unafraid to dive deep into the Mariana Trenches of all our lives while everyone else just wanted to play kickball. I climbed to the top of the structure which is much lower than I remembered and listened to Glennon describe the way that society treats those of us who are meant to show other people a different way. We are labeled unrealistic. Shamed into shrinking our truths to obey the status quo when the real truth of this world is that each and every one of us is here to do something different for the collective. 

Those who have written our religions rules and our countries laws understood that there would be chaos in the world unless systems were set up to control us. Unfortunately they did not understand what Glennon and Sophia understood as I started walking back up the hill towards my parents house. The fact that the opposite of love is not hate, but control. We are experts in human darkness. We write story after story about dystopian futures that only become true if we succumb to our greed and our hoarding and our refusal to work together with our species. 

 At the end of my walk I was inspired to start writing. I broke out a personalized Spotify wellness playlist and it started with a poem... 

The End of Science Fiction by Lisel Mueller 

This is not fantasy,

this is our life.

We are the characters 

who have invaded the moon, 

who cannot stop their computers.

We are the gods

who can unmake the world in seven days. 

Both hands are stopped at noon.

We are beginning to live forever,

in lightweight, aluminum bodies 

with numbers stamped on our backs.

We dial our words like Muzak. 

We hear each other through water. 

The genre is dead. 

Invent something new.

Invent a man and a woman 

naked in a garden,

invent a child that will save the world, 

a man who carries his father out of a burning city. 

Invent a spool of thread that leads a hero to safety,

invent an island

on which he abandons the woman who saved his life

with no loss of sleep over his betrayal.

Invent us as we were

before our bodies glittered

and we stopped bleeding:

invent a shepherd who kills a giant, 

a girl who grows into a tree, 

a woman who refuses to turn her back on the past 

and is changed to salt, 

a boy who steals his brother’s birthright 

and becomes the head of a nation. 

Invent real tears, hard love, slow-spoken, ancient words, 

difficult as a child’s first steps across a room. 

As I began writing, my cell phone lit up. A notification from Co-Star read: 

'What you think, you become.' 

So what will become of us? The people of a beautiful world who refuse to acknowledge and respect it? Who fill our brains with the worst of humanity in the form of murder mysteries, entertainment rooted in heartbreak and misery, and news in the form of fear?

The genre of status-quo is dead.

Embody something new.

[shslscifihorror]

(questions taken from this questionnaire) 

so, You Want To Know About Youji Fen. well.

{cw: uh... family drama, a lot of family talk, ableism}

1. She does not have any siblings as her father left her mother after having her, and the two met pretty shortly before then. However, who she does have is her maternal cousin, Yang Yunxu - her mother went to live with her sister and her spouse to avoid living in more poverty, and they had one kid. A bundle of energy and naiivite, he and Ailani unfortunately lost contact after she moved to Japan.

2. Poor Chou. Hailing from a poor background, she was an itinerant all her life and eventually underwent the difficult process to move from mainland China to Hong Kong, hoping three degrees of separation would give her a chance at a new life. She brought along remnants of her past life - this is why Youji Fen is properly written with pinyin, though Ailani grew up remembering only Cantonese. Chou didn't find her life there easier, and was frequently out of the house trying to gain employment. Ailani herself has a very distanced view of her mother, but also one that is dependent. The daughter, seen as a way to make the mother proud and give her a motivation to keep on going, but on the flip side Ailani relies on her mother to give her necessities and admired her for her dedication and hard work. This was one of the things that motivated her to write, as she wanted to make enough money to support the both of them. So while Ailani admires her mother, she did everything in her power to avoid ending up like her.

3. Oh boy. Chu is actually the son of a first generation immigrant from Vietnam who also found himself in Hong Kong for similar reasons to Chou. Also from a poor background, though not to the degree of his ex-wife, the two bonded over this and married fairly hastily. He was always a coward and left when Ailani was young, seeing her appearance as an omen of sorts. As she grew up she realized there was something different about her family arrangement, especially as she entered school and was exposed to others. After the events that led her family to move, she became acutely aware of his absence and began blaming him for leaving the family. This has continued until the present day, and there probably isn't a single person she loathes more than her father. 

4. Oh yes, absolutely. There were three of these events, two of them are sort of stuff that hasn't come out yet, but in vague terms they are 1. the event that she witnessed that directly caused her to move 2. the time she lost a friend of hers and 3. what I'll be talking about now, which basically solidified her choice of career. Ailani, for her thirteenth birthday, was taken to a movie theatre to watch a film. On her way back from concessions, she accidentally walked inside the wrong theatre, and witnessed a horror movie. She only caught bits of what was going on, but the gory scene she beheld implanted itself in her mind, and as she grew older and was an edgy teen who liked to rebel, it made an impact on her and was essentially the day she knew what she wanted to do.

5. She likes to keep her pockets clean, typically one'd only find a pen, her keys/keycard, a miniature notepad, and a tissue. Anything else is only transitive.

6. ; )

Okay, but she does have many dreams about flying. One of her secret desires has always been the ability of levitation, and this has transferred over to her subconscious. Incidentally, another desire of hers has always been to become a robot, which she has dreamed about before. 

7. She does, indeed have reoccurring nightmares, mostly about stuff she's seen in her life. However, a common theme with them is abandonment. 

8. Nope. She has never, in her life, fired a gun. 

9. Yup! Back in the dawning years of her life, she was very poor. Ailani's still poor but less so because she's actually making money from her books, but not enough to drag herself and her mother out from being lower-class. However, her life's doing substantially better since she's actually living with her mum in their own apartment instead of sharing with others. 

10. Takes a long, hard look at Ailani and her jorts. Well, it's dependent on the weather but she gets cold very easily so she prefers more clothes, but usually as a safeguard rather than because of actual comfort. 

11. Several, again. The first was the threat of being homeless following the incident that made her have to move, but she was still a child during that and didn't fully understand what went on. The second was the immediate period of time following the incident in which she lost her friend. 

12. For the year she was preparing to write her third book, she would go to a temple and pray. That assisted greatly in instilling a sense of calm in her, and she looks back upon the last stretch of that time fondly. 

13. Yes, she's disconcerted by it. As much as she works with blood and guts in her writing, there's no substitute for the real thing even if it helped desensitize her slightly. 

14. Names. She's a very word-oriented person though she has a great talent for visualization, but the way Ailani's mind works it's simply easier for her to recall a string of letters. 

15. Ohhh boy. Yes, absolutely. Being in poverty for much of her life has left her with a hunger for wealth and as a result she tends to hoard money and physical comforts (i.e. she still has a collection of hotel soap from when they were moving into their apartment even if they were in a better spot). It's very hard to get her to spend on material comforts, even if it won't affect her financially, and she treasures anything she's given. 

16. Success, full-stop. She'd rather be famous and known rather than happy, which has been her mentality her entire life because she's desperate to become known and not stuck in the lot life dealt her. 

17. Does a book count? She had a pop-up book of various animals that she found utterly fascinating, and would read over and over. It was actually what helped her learn to start reading and imprinted a love of the craft in her. 

18. Both. She's harsh towards perceived negative traits in others, and while she doesn't believe ambition is inherently evil (look at her!), she feels those seized by it can easily become soured. Wisdom is also important in her mind, as one must know how to approach the world and not keep themselves closed off. She feels sympathy might be reached if people simply considered the circumstances of others. 

19. -laughtrack- Well, uh. Ailani is ambitious to the point of ruthlessness herself, as in she will make herself successful and prioritize that above the happiness and safety of others. I'm not going to elaborate on her relationships rn but let me just say that this has caused big, big issues for her in the past. 

20. Welcome to petty mcgee. Ailani feels she needs to be the best, and consequently can't help but compare herself to others. She doesn't mind criticism at all, but at the same time she's fully willing to rip elements of other people and learn from their failings in order to better herself. So for the most part she does this for self-criticism, but she's the nasty kind of person who looks at critics ripping apart others works in order to self-validate.

21. -laughtrack part two- Well, without getting too deep into it, Ailani blames others for anything negative that's ever happened in her life. She has a pretty good self-image but at the same time it's fragile and she doesn't like it being challenged, which causes her to blame others in like 90% of the cases. She really, really doesn't like being in the wrong. 

22. Ailani's a person who's willing to genuinely like others, but keep them as arm's length. However, she prefers people who are honest and consistent, where she can better predict their reactions. The other kind of person she likes are those who are similar to her, who she can't help but relate to and feel a connection with. See the people she likes most: Yuka, Holly, Ayato, Piney, Sarara.

23. An entire laundry list of things. She hates hypocrisy above all else though, which, in itself, is hypocritical. Another trait she loathes is when people are unpredictable, as she prefers consistency. She also dislikes incompetence. 

24. As can be displayed by her behavior in trials, pretty quickly. Ailani actually suspected Kanon after Haruna was defensive of her during investigation, and this carried with her all throughout the trial just for example. 

25. Not quick at all, enough said. Unless your name starts with "Y" and ends with "uka Kagome". Really, Ailani only deeply trusts like five people in her entire life, both inside the simulation and out. 

26. Ailani finds children kind of annoying and has no interest in having any, so she isn't very good around them nor should be trusted to look after them - she'd probably just leave them be and begin reading a book instead. Fictional preteens are enough, thank you very much.

27. Avoid! Avoid! Avoid!

28. Usually she only resorts to violence if pushed to her max, i.e. trial 6 with the knives and stuff in her backstory.

29. Believe it or not, she wanted to be an auto racer as a child after reading a book on it. Author was her second choice which took over her life, and she eventually did.... kinda fulfill that dream. 

30. In terms of symbolic stuff? Hypocrisy and injustice. In terms of physical stuff? She really hates heavy food, especially cheese - and not just because she's lactose intolerant.

31. Relaxing in a quiet spot inside her house, book in hand and cup of tea to her side. Ailani's alone and can read at her leisure. 

32. [monobear voice] youji fen shsl faker [ailani] -screaming-

33. Always willing to improve if it comes to her works. She doesn't mind if what she creates is criticized, moreso if she herself is criticized. Should someone suggest ways for her to improve as a person, she's likely to pull a knife on them.

34. Move on to a different method/solution. Ailani tends to search for creative ways to deal with a problem, and because of that will keep on trying different tactics until she find one that works. This isn't always good, as she might disregard a method if it didn't work once - even if it was her own fault it tanked.

35. Nice. No, really.

36. Nice, but in a super passive-aggressive way. She tends to regard them with disgust, and insult them covertly at every chance she gets.

37. Status. For Ailani, the concept of keeping honour is a thing she's never given much consideration to especially because of her family situation where keeping mum about not having a father was necessary, which caused her to resent the concept of "honour". As for her status, one needn't look further than trial seven.

38. It depends on the severity of the problem/threat and if it affects her directly. If it doesn't and it's relatively harmless, then she tends to take a hands-off stance, but if it does Ailani deals with it at earliest possible time, always. 

39. Nah, she's never been bitten by an animal. 

40. Considerately. She's very much one to root for the small person, and is a big fan of underdog stories. She knows they're just trying to live and make minimum wage, and she tends to try to be as polite as possible to people in general even if she resents them. 

41. Oh boy, here's Ms. Entitled. She feels that, because of her lot in life she deserves to have good things happen to her eventually, but she also thinks she must work for them even if she deserves to have what she wants. In general, she believes it to be pretty dang unfair that she has to work, but she goes hard at her desires. 

42. Yup, a librarian at the library she frequented. Because the librarian knew JSL and MCJ, she spoke frequently with them, and they grew fond of her. The librarian saw her grow up too, and as a result their relationship was rather parental, especially since they fretted over her and wanted to see her succeed.  

43. Again, yes, a certain person in her backstory. They were her first crush, but they regarded her more as a sibling and friend. Still, the relationship eventually crumbled anyways. 

44. It's very easy for her to say ilu, both with and without meaning. Ailani's willing to do a lot to ensure her success, and pretending she actually likes people is on that list. However, she also says ilu easily when she genuinely likes people - it's just a feeling, why shouldn't she be honest?

45. Ailani was raised Buddhist, and believes in rebirth. She's always been pretty religious, and this only intensified recently in her life. While she gives consideration to the idea of an afterlife, which she's afraid of the possibility of, she holds firm to her belief in reincarnation though.

[jerepars]

Heartthrob Story Notes

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile). The story is here.

I wrote this after watching Riverdale all the way through three times (Season 2 doesn't premiere until October 2017 and Season 1 only has 13 episodes). I've definitely overanalyzed the charactsuers, their key moments, their relationships. Everything.

I've loved TV shows before, loved pairings on TV shows before, but I don't think I've ever been so emotionally invested as I am in Bughead to the point where I wanted to write something. I've only ever been inspired to write by music and hockey, really.

So. In my overanalysis of the show and the situations the characters have been put through, it dawned on me that Archie isn't actually the heartthrob he's presented as. Sure, he's an All-American jock with a pretty smile and nice abs. But when you peel back all the layers, see what his problems are, see his cluelessness about basically everything, you're left with what he really is--in my opinion--just a fuckboy.

And so emerges the true heartthrob of Riverdale, Jughead Jones. He's literally in all of the best scences (exhibits: fighting with Betty, calling his mom, when he goes to see FP). He's pretentious but smart. He's the emo loner kid stealing the audience's hearts, stealing Betty's heart.

Damn this show for their perfect portrayal of Bughead. Watching it feels so real, what it really felt like to be a teenager.

Wanting so badly for Bughead to be endgame and believing Jughead is the real heartthrob of Riverdale, I came up with this.

I sat thinking for a long time that I don't really have any good original ideas because wow, I looked, and the Bughead shippers have it covered really well. When it was about to be Father's Day, while re-watching Bughead clips for the umpteenth time, I sighed at something adorable and audibly said "aw, Juggie".

That became it, the story. That's the tl;dr version of the story, really, just "Juggie!"

When I started writing I just intended for it to be some light fluff, Betty and Jughead in the future, as parents, and instead of their kid calling him her dad for the first time, she calls him what everyone else that loves him calls him. I think it got a little darker as I went along, adding in the backstory. I think that makes sense because it's not actually a light show, despite being a "teen drama" on The CW.

As per usual with my story notes, there is an awful lot of overexplaining below. I've linked a lot of clips from the show which may or may not be spoilers. I think this drabble still makes sense if you've never seen Riverdale or if you don't care to, but they're there if you so choose.

These mornings were tough. Waking up at the crack of dawn to the sound of a crying baby through the baby monitor. Not that these kind of mornings were new per se - there had been a period of time, during his sophomore year of high school when he set his alarm for this time, when he had been living in a tiny closet at Riverdale High School. Somehow that had been a better alternative than staying in the trailer park with his usually absent alcoholic father.

The first paragraph is a reference to the opening scene of 1x07 (0:00 to 1:10), where Jughead wakes up from a dream in the closet at the high school, where he's been living, and he has to explain himself when Archie catches him.

Given the so-called destiny he’d believed his two best friends were meant to have, Jughead hadn’t planned on falling in love with Betty Cooper. He’d always thought his destiny was to remain the weird loner kid, always on the outs. It took until they were sophomores in high school for Jughead to realize Betty was it – the light at the end of the tunnel waiting to envelope him and pull him out of the darkness. And as it turned out, where darkness and light were concerned, they evened each other out. Facing her own demons, her own darkness, Jughead had been her spot of light seeping through.

It was a delicate balance between the two of them until they got out of Riverdale. Just as quickly as he'd put on the leather Southside Serpents jacket, she'd made him vow it was only temporary, to protect himself and to protect them. She made him take an oath that one day when he took it off, it would be for good and he would never put it back on again. Betty had made him promise the civil war in Riverdale wouldn't be the nooses around their necks, and hand in hand, they would make it out of their devil town not just to live, but to thrive.

I was listening to the Bright Eyes cover of "Devil Town" a lot while I was writing backstory about Jughead's past and their town, Riverdale. In the same way that the narrative talks about the delicate balance of light and dark and of Betty and Jughead, I like the way the song sounds light but is talking about darkness.

And, come on, how could I not give The Jacket a shout out?

Years later, on the day he married Betty, at the wedding reception, while giving the maid of honor’s speech, Veronica had quipped about the irony of it all. Jughead had gone from the brooding Holden Caulfield-esque loner outsider to the heartthrob of his own novel, because he was the one who ended up marrying the beautiful blonde cheerleader to have the happily ever after with.

In 1x07, again, Veronica actually refers to Jughead as Riverdale's version of Holden Caulfield (1:11 to 3:15) after a "Scooby Gang" meeting where Jughead puts his arm around Betty and the group doesn't know about them yet.

He had written a novel. It had been about Jason Blossom’s murder and its impact on Riverdale. But the narrative was from Jughead’s perspective. He was a constant in the book’s pages because of his connection to all those involved, most notably FP, his father. When the book sold well, even Hollywood had come knocking on his publisher’s door. They’d wanted the film rights to the novel, they wanted to sensationalize the most terrible thing to happen in Riverdale, to tell the story of his teenage angst. They’d even dropped the name of the actor who they would target to play his own ‘character’—a former Disney star with a sharp jaw, slightly nasal voice, and gigantic social media following.

Jughead never did sign on the dotted line for the project but it was true that he was a living, breathing cliché of the American Dream, and he loved it. He’d grown up to be the heartthrob of his own life. He was reminded of that every time Betty smiled at him, and now, every time Sadie did, too.

Last sentence of the first paragraph: that's just me, breaking the fourth wall, in a sense because um, the description is literally Cole Sprouse, who plays Jughead. I did this to amuse myself more than anything else, really. Maybe I think his voice is a little nasal. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. I think it suits him. Alluding all the way back to the Archie comics, I think it suits Jughead's character, too.

Despite Jughead's non-conformist attitude as a teenager, I feel like it's appropriate for him to accept the American Dream, be proud to have it even, in this adult version of him. In 1x04, when he's whining about the Twilight Drive-In closing one of the first things he mentions is "a nail in the coffin of [...] the American Dream," and he's upset something good he's held on to is being taken away. I think part of the reason Jughead becomes isolated and non-conformist and a self-proclaimed loner is not because he doesn't want the American Dream, but because he's always thought someone in his shoes can't ever have that.

He caught her arm before she could saunter off and pulled her into his lap. He kissed her on the mouth hard, one hand ghosting up under the shirt she was wearing to graze at the bare skin of her upper thigh and one hand cupping the back of her neck. He sighed, content, and for a moment was transported back to a moment—their first moment—in her childhood bedroom surrounded by floral wallpaper.

There were times when he still felt like he did back then, crawling through her window to comfort her after they’d found Polly at The Sisters of Quiet Mercy, while also nervous, at a loss for words because he wanted to kiss her so badly, to let her know what the connection they’d forged while investigating Jason’s murder meant to him.

Basically just a reference to everything Bughead in 1x06 leading up to their first kiss in Betty's floral bedroom. Juggie called it their moment, so I called it their moment.

“Nearly everyone in my life who loves me has called me ‘Juggie’ at one point or another,” Jughead reminded her. “What’s one more?”

Cereal forgotten, Betty moved her hand under her chin, thinking about his statement. He was right. She called him that. Archie called him that. Jellybean called him that. It was a short list, but Betty knew it was the only list that mattered to Jughead.

I think the first time he's called "Juggie" on the show is actually in 1x03 when Betty recruits him for the school paper. Archie calls him that later on. They're both sort of wrong about only the shortlisted people calling him this, because in the opening scence of 1x13, Pop Tate calls him Juggie as he slides over the coffee (1:01 to 1:06; WARNING: major spoilers in this clip!).

Oh, did you think I was kidding about how thoroughly I've watched this show? No, no. I'm neurotic.

I still think it's a valid point though. Jughead doesn't like very many people so it makes sense that very few would ever get so close to him to call him Juggie.

“Who's your daddy?” Jughead made a face and kicked Betty lightly under the table. “Please never say that again, Betts. It's creepy.”

I couldn't write this and not make reference to the whole "daddy" war thing the Riverdale cast had going on. Obviously.

Also, I am trash and I hate myself.

He gave her that look, the one he saved just for her. The look that meant he loved her completely, entirely, with everything he had. She'd seen that look before, when they'd told each other for the first time they loved each other, and on their wedding day, and when Sadie was born.

First, he takes the beanie off. Then the look Jughead gives Betty when he tells her he loves her (0:53). Then the look Jughead gives her when she tells him she loves him (1:04). That's the look. Oh, my heartstrings.

I wrote this listening to Tegan and Sara's Heartthrob and Paramore's After Laughter and The Gaslight Anthem's American Slang. At the end of it all, what it really is, is a love letter to Bughead, I think. It's an exercise in writing that I hope is a launching pad that gets me back to hockey stories.

Doing this all weekend was fun. It immediately took me back to how consumed I get when I am writing. I don't have writer's block, because I never do. I don't have time to write.

I want to make time to write.

We'll see.

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Just when you thought it was safe to relax, for no further new TV shows were coming to humbly request your eyeballs, The CW decided to start premiering most of its shows this week.

The tiny network — home to some of TV’s best shows, like Jane the Virgin and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend — traditionally waits for October to debut its series, where they can premiere slightly outside of the biggest crush of fall TV season. But with the network expanding to Sunday nights for the first time this fall, it’s got more new series to flaunt than usual, to say nothing of all of its returning shows.

Thus, this week, we offer thoughts on The CW’s new high school drama All American, as well as its reboot of the venerable witch show Charmed. Finally, we have thoughts on HBO’s new series from Girls producers Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner, Camping, which also marks Jennifer Garner’s return to TV.

Few of these shows are great, and as critics, we often have limited information on whether they’ll get better. (It’s rare to impossible for broadcast networks, especially, to send out many episodes for review beyond the first couple.) But there’s something in all of these shows worth checking out, especially if you’re a particular fan of their genres.

(A note: We’ve only given ratings to shows where we feel we’ve seen enough episodes to judge how successful they will be long-term.)

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Who doesn’t like a teen drama about a boy from an underprivileged background getting a hand up into the world of the rich and comfortable? It’s been the story of many, many teen soaps over the years, but perhaps most famously on The O.C., where Chino-born Ryan Atwood found himself suddenly living among the spoiled and pampered denizens of Orange County.

The CW’s new series All American takes that format and mixes it with Friday Night Lights for one of the strongest new dramas of the fall. It has its rough edges, but there’s something hard to beat about a good-hearted kid discovering the excesses of money and power, while those who have the money and power discover just how much they have in common with the new kid.

At the center of All American is Spencer (winning British newcomer Daniel Ezra), a football star at South LA’s public Crenshaw High. Spencer is black, and he comes from a majority-black neighborhood. (He’s also based on the real NFL player Spencer Paysinger.) When a coach for a Beverly Hills high school — played by Taye Diggs, who I never thought would make a great Coach Taylor but makes a great Coach Taylor — turns up to offer Spencer a chance at a role on a higher-profile team, Spencer worries about betraying his community before eventually realizing going to Beverly Hills could cement his future.

You can sort of see where this is going from there, but creator April Blair shows a refreshing willingness to keep the story moving throughout the first three episodes, unveiling a healthy dollop of plot twists and soapiness, while also giving her characters a whole lot of heart. Indeed, the twist at the end of the pilot takes the show from “pretty good” to “something I’ll give at least a season to figure itself out.”

There are issues here and there (the ensemble is perhaps a little too large for a show this young, and there’s way too much music to drive every emotional point home), but All American is an intriguing stew of teen soap tastes that taste great together. —Todd VanDerWerff

All American debuted Wednesday, October 10, on The CW and is available on the network’s website. Future episodes air Wednesdays at 9 pm on The CW.

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For whatever reason, The CW’s new spin on Charmed has been embroiled in controversy over its status as a reboot starring brand new actors, rather than a revival starring the show’s original cast. And, sure, the original series has die-hard fans, and in a climate where seemingly every other popular show from the ’90s is being revived just as it was back then, it’s not hard to imagine a world where that happened with Charmed, too.

But if those disgruntled Charmed fans tune in to the new version, they’re likely to find a show that, despite a pilot that’s a bit of a mess, has the right elements in place to become just as fun as that earlier series (if not more fun — that original show could be a bit of a mess itself). Most importantly, Jessica O’Toole, Amy Rardin, and Jennie Snyder Urman (of Jane the Virgin fame), who developed this new Charmed, have nailed the single most important element of the show: the casting.

To make a show about three sisters who are witches — and so much more powerful when together than when apart — you really need three actors who simultaneously exude raw supernatural power and a sisterhood that feels real, not assembled right before shooting the pilot. (Even if you know that’s what happened.) And Madeleine Mantock, Melonie Diaz, and Sarah Jeffery absolutely seem like sisters, with all the attendant benefits and baggage that relationship carries.

Plus, revamping this show to be about a Latina family offers a subtly powerful twist on the idea of those without traditional political power having untapped reserves of raw power. The pilot could do more with this idea (and the series hopefully will), but at least the sisters never feel like they’ve been made Latina to score empty diversity points.

The pilot gets stuck trying to do too much, establishing the sisters’ powers and setting up a longer mystery about an unsolved murder and offering up a #MeToo metaphor as its monster of the week. But with this cast (including a very game Rupert Friend as guardian angel Harry) and smart writers behind the scenes, Charmed will hopefully find itself very quickly. —TV

Charmed debuts Sunday, October 14, at 9 pm Eastern on The CW.

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Watching the four episodes of Camping that were sent out for review, I couldn’t help but think of another recent HBO series: Vice Principals. The shape of that series wasn’t immediately apparent in the first couple of episodes, and what it ended up being was vastly different from (and better than) what its beginning suggested. It rewarded the viewer for watching through to the end.

It seems as though Camping might fit a similar bill, though I would hesitate to presume that it’ll pull off the same gambit. Created by Lena Dunham and Jenni Konner, and adapted from the British series of the same name, Camping doesn’t really make any progress in the first half of its season.

The reasons to watch are apparent from the start: The cast is absolutely stacked, with Jennifer Garner simultaneously playing to type and against type as Kathryn, who works day in and day out to make her life as flawless and meticulously ordered as her Instagram account. David Tennant is perfectly cast as her husband, Walt; he’s as easygoing as Kathryn is wound-up, as embodied by his lankiness and penchant for bucket hats.

Filling out the rest of the group of friends (just imagine quotation marks around the word) out camping in celebration of Walt’s 45th birthday, there’s Ione Skye, Chris Sullivan, Janicza Bravo, Brett Gelman, Arturo Del Puerto, Juliette Lewis — there’s not a weak performance in the bunch.

Unfortunately, that’s not quite enough. By the season’s halfway point, Camping seems to be fixated on showcasing people behaving badly — whether on their own or due to outside influence — without necessarily having a larger point to make. It’s thin ice for any series to skate on, but even more so when a series asks its audience to invest in characters written to be annoying or self-involved. These people are poison to each other — why keep watching them?

A few moments shine — again, the cast is terrific, and manages to find bits of truthfulness in the way these characters tear at each other — but without a firm sense of plot or structure to keep it all together, the show falters. —Karen Han

Camping debuts Sunday, October 14, at 10 pm Eastern on HBO.

As mentioned, basically everything on The CW is back this week. (Some shows — notably Jane the Virgin — are being held for midseason, of course.) That includes the final season of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (Friday at 8 pm), which kicks off with a bang, as Rebecca Bunch finds herself in prison. A happy ending to this saga might seem a stretch at this point, but we’d settle for a “mostly okay” ending, honestly.

If you love streaming shows, this is a hectic week, too. Netflix brings the terrific new cooking docu-series Salt Fat Acid Heat (Thursday), based on the book of the same name, and the superbly spooky Haunting of Hill House (Friday). Amazon, meanwhile, launches the first season of Mad Men creator Matt Weiner’s The Romanoffs (also Friday), while the new streaming service DC Universe unveils the gritty Teen Titans reboot Titans (whaddaya know, it’s debuting on Friday). We’ll have full reviews of some of these in the days to come.

If you’re a fan of podcast hosts, HBO launches its TV version of Pod Save America (Friday at 11 pm) and ABC launches The Alec Baldwin Show (Sunday at 10 pm), should you require a TV version of something originally designed to appeal to your earballs.

Finally, if you’re me (Todd), then the only thing you care about is adult swim’s Harvey Birdman: Attorney General (Monday at midnight), a brand new special reuniting the voice cast of the original Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law, one of the great, silly spoofs of the 2000s. Sing it with me now! Whooooooo is the man in the suit? Whooooooo is the cat with the be-eak!

Original Source -> This week in TV: a teen drama to check out, a new spin on Charmed, and Jennifer Garner

via The Conservative Brief

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It's binge time: What to stream during Thanksgiving weekend

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It's binge time: What to stream during Thanksgiving weekend

Thanksgiving is upon us. That means it’s time to gorge on carbs, nestle in on the couch, and treat yourself to dozens of hours in front of your screens. Here are some old favorites and new releases that landed on streaming services in November, hand-picked for your holiday enjoyment.

For classic slapstick: Airplane!

This endlessly quotable parody of disaster flicks is catnip for comedy nerds, a blend of Borscht Belt puns (“I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley”) and stoner absurdity. The threadbare plot is really an excuse for nonstop sight gags, flashbacks, movie references and fast-paced one-liners. The ensemble cast includes deadpan genius Leslie Nielsen, who went on to star in “The Naked Gun” franchise, and NBA great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who plays a doomed co-pilot.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime, Hulu

For transfixing true crime: Alias Grace

Canadian novelist Margaret Atwood is having a moment. “The Handmaid’s Tale,” the Hulu series based on her dystopian fable, captured the post-2016 zeitgeist and swept the Emmys. “Alias Grace,” adapted from her eponymous 1996 novel, could become a sociopolitical touchstone, too. Sarah Gadon stars as Grace Marks, a real-life servant imprisoned for a double murder in 19th-century Canada. The six-part miniseries is directed by Mary Harron (“American Psycho”) and written by actress/filmmaker Sarah Polley.

Where to watch: Netlix

Sarah Gadon in Netflix’s “Alias Grace.” Jan Thijs / Netflix

For brilliant filmmaking: Get Out

The recent debate over whether this box-office phenomenon should be considered a comedy or drama at the upcoming Golden Globes was telling. “Get Out,” the directorial debut of comedian Jordan Peele, is a horror film that samples and remixes genres with nervy aplomb, zigzagging from social satire and dark comedy to bone-chilling frights. Daniel Kaluuya stars as a black photographer whose weekend visit with the family of his white girlfriend quickly turns nightmarish. Peele may have the last word on how to think of his breakout project. He says it’s a documentary.

Where to watch: HBO Go, HBO Now

For soulful surrealism: Lady Dynamite

Don’t be fooled by the candy-colored production design: “Lady Dynamite,” now in its second season, will surprise you with its dark edges and strange rhythms. The series stars stand-up comic Maria Bamford as stand-up comic Maria Bamford, who struggles with bipolar disorder. The exuberant, gleefully weird humor is shaded by real pain, making “Lady Dynamite” a close cousin to “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,” the beloved musical-comedy sitcom on the CW. “Saturday Night Live” alumnus Ana Gasteyer has a recurring role as Bamford’s agent.

Where to watch: Netflix

For intelligent thrills: Michael Clayton

“Michael Clayton” turned 10 this year, but the critically acclaimed film hasn’t lost any of its edge or urgency. The film stars George Clooney as a “fixer” at a powerful New York law firm who discovers a conspiracy involving an agribusiness conglomerate. Tilda Swinton won an Oscar for her unforgettable turn as a high-strung corporate lawyer on the verge of a breakdown. The literate screenplay and sleek visual style helped make this thriller a modern classic.

Where to watch: Netflix

George Clooney in “Michael Clayton.” Warner Bros

For powerful period drama: Mudbound

Director Dee Rees invests this wrenching historical melodrama with piercing moral clarity. The film focuses on a pair of World War II veterans who return to rural Mississippi at the height of the Jim Crow era. They deal with racism and post-traumatic stress disorder — two charged issues that Rees and her co-writer, Virgil Williams, depict with sensitivity. “Mudbound” could be a contender at the Oscars. R&B star Mary J. Blige, in particular, has earned awards buzz for her memorable performance.

Where to watch: Netflix; also in theaters in select cities

For good times in Brooklyn: She’s Gotta Have It

Spike Lee broke into the independent film world with “She’s Gotta Have It,” a frank and freewheeling 1986 comedy about a young woman juggling the affections of three men. More than three decades later, Lee has returned to that premise in a ten-episode streaming series that premieres on Thursday. DeWanda Wise stars as a vivacious Brooklynite named Nola Darling. “Hamilton” fan favorite Anthony Ramos plays one of her suitors.

Where to watch: Netflix

For vintage J-Law: Winter’s Bone

It may be hard to imagine a time when Jennifer Lawrence wasn’t a global superstar and household name. But that time was only seven years ago, when she landed a breakout role in this low-budget drama. Lawrence plays a teen girl in the Ozarks who has to track down her father, a narrative throughline that the film uses to explore rural poverty and drug addiction. That may not sound like comforting holiday viewing, but “Winter’s Bone” tells a compelling tale with family ties at its core.

Where to watch: Epix, Hulu

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